I am – Hercules!!


“Harper’s Island” is a thriller from writer-producer Ari Schlossberg, who penned the 2005 Robert De Niro vehicle “Hide and Seek” – a commercially successful big-screen thriller given positive reviews by 13 percent of the nation’s critics, according to the Rotten Tomatoes website.

The series is about a serial killer who disrupts a wedding celebration on a remote island 27 miles off Seattle, and was likely pitched as a scripted “Survivor,” with one member of the cast exiting the island each week via a grisly murder. There’s even a handsome boat crewman who looks a lot like Jeff Probst.

It stars at least two Cassidys, David Cassidy’s daughter Katie (“Supernatural”) and supercute Irish actress Elaine Cassidy (the U.K.’s “The Ghost Squad”), as well as Richard Burgi (“Desperate Housewives”), Harry Hamlin (“Veronica Mars”), Jim Beaver (“John From Cincinnati”), Christopher Gorham (“Ugly Betty”), Gina Holden (“Flash Gordon”), Chis Gauthier (“Eureka”), C.J. Thomason (“General Hospital”), Amber Borycki (“John Tucker Must Die”), Ben Cotton (“Stargate Atlantis”), Beverly Elliott (“The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants”), David Lewis (“The L Word”), Ali Liebert (“Kyle XY”), Brandon Jay McLaren (“Power Rangers SPD”), Sean Rogerson (“Underworld: Evolution”), Sarah Smyth (“Undressed”), Cassandra Sawtell (“Good Luck Chuck”) and Claudette Mink (“Paycheck”).

The pilot’s biggest problem is it fails to engender much rooting interest in the potential victims, who turn out to be a pretty dull and clichéd lot. Also, it’s on CBS, which places limits on violence with which big-screen slasher filmmakers needn’t contend.

Entertainment Weekly says:

… Elaine Cassidy's Abby is a spunky character through whom we see much of the action, but others are clichés, like the bride's jealous ex, the groom's black-sheep brother, etc. R-rated horror flicks have rendered the scariness of Harper's abrupt murders mild stuff; the series could have used more of Christie's tight plotting. …

USA Today says:

… Harper's won't please everyone, and some aspects would displease anyone. Those who enjoy slasher films will find it too tame, those who hate the very idea of such films will find it too gruesome, and those who want first-rate acting and top-level production values will find it wanting. As much fun as Harper's can be if you're inclined to recline into it, the show was clearly produced with too little talent and, odds are, too little money.…

The Los Angeles Times says:

… does not attempt to rise above the confines of its genre because it's too busy rolling around in them. It's tense enough, mysterious enough for those of us who enjoy occasionally watching the screen from behind our hands. But what's more significant is the fact that it could have been just as effective, possibly more so, without the grisly details, without viewers seeing the victims actually meet their very nasty ends. …

The Chicago Tribune says:

… most of the acting is about as superficial as the writing …

The Washington Post says:

… a cunningly constructed, habit-forming mystery … As in all horror stories, characters do manifestly dumb things, like swim alone, drunk, in a lighted pool at night, or go wandering off in the woods once the sun sets and it gets awfully hard to retrace your steps. Once there was a way to get back homeward, as the Beatles lamented, but not for everyone on Harper's Island. For that reason and others, the show may very well and fairly cleverly hold your attention -- in fact, grip it tightly and securely -- as it dangles its array of morbid possibilities in your face. …

The San Francisco Chronicle says:

… might end up being a guilty pleasure. It's got blood and sex and intrigue galore, and there are enough red herrings and frightening gotchas to spill the popcorn two or three times an hour. The writing is just clever enough to probably make the killing-a-week conceit work. …

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette says:

… an entertaining enough diversion that may grow more intriguing as other series end their season-long runs next month and viewers become more desperate for fresh entertainment.

The Boston Herald says:

… everything about “Harper’s Island” feels like familiar territory. … “Harper’s” real suspense emanates from wondering who will strike first - the killer or low ratings. I’m betting on a merciless assassin named Nielsen.

The Boston Globe says:

CBS's "Harper's Island" is a limited-run series, which means it arrives tonight with a 100-percent definite end date of July 2. So you can relax. After July 2, you won't need to worry about stumbling across this enervating, vapid, and obscenely over-promoted thriller when you're channel surfing. After 13 episodes, it will never be able to stalk you again. …

Variety says:

… as constructed by series creator Ari Schlossberg and director Jon Turteltaub, "Harper's Island" too often indulges in slasher-movie absurdities, with a murderer who seems to be everywhere at once and genuine clues in too-short supply. This deficiency renders the 25 characters less suspects in a gradually unfolding mystery -- which they ought to be -- than simply shark bait. …

The Hollywood Reporter says:

… completely earnest in its awfulness: the clunky dialogue full of lines you've heard before; the plot twists you remember from every B horror movie; the stock characters whose sole purpose is to annoy you into hoping they get killed soon; the cheesy music cues and intruders that turn out to be just a flock of birds.Every single fragment of the series has been scavenged from other shows or movies. It's as if someone handed creator Ari Schlossberg a book on how to make a boilerplate, uninteresting slasher flick, and he lovingly followed every step. …

10 p.m. Thursday. CBS.

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