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Massawyrm feels the need to invent new levels of hyperbole when gushing over STAR TREK in a spoiler free manner!



Hola all. Massawyrm here.

Ho. Ly. Shit. No one was ready for what just happened to us. No one. While some may have guessed and many of us sure had hoped, Paramount’s bait and switch of STAR TREK for WRATH OF KHAN was a stunner. I mean, that was a bold fucking move. You don’t replace WRATH OF KHAN. You just don’t. Not unless the movie you’re replacing it with is pretty god damned strong. And guess what? It is. Holy Christ Crispies in a bucket of milk, was this movie fucking awesome. What’s that thing called…you know, the stuff that’s like awesome sauce only better? Oh yeah, Win. That’s it. Win. STAR TREK is made of that. From beginning to end.

I’ve got to admit, I wasn’t entirely enthused about the reboot. Not that I had a real problem with it, but the Paramount of the past has had a piss-poor history with the franchise. And while I like Abrams a lot, the idea of a “younger, hipper” cast was something of a turn off. The first-adventures-of is usually the kiss of death for a franchise – not a way to truly resurrect it. But here it is, back from the grave of some terrible movies preceded by a couple lifeless and mediocre ones. And the way they bring it back is a stroke of genius.

If you haven’t been spoiled yet, then congrats. I won’t break your streak. All I will say is that the film manages to reboot everything while entirely remaining within the continuity of the original series – and by doing so, actually allows them to move freely within the confines of their new “universe.” The explanation makes more sense than it ever feels like a cop-out, and it caused a number of us old school fans to re-examine the original series through this new perspective. A truly clever concept that, unlike many have postulated, doesn’t actually reference CITY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER at all.

Now before I go any further, I need to make a public, formal apology to Karl Urban. More than any other aspect of this movie, I trash talked him getting the role of Leonard “Bones” McCoy. A lot. And I’ve been pretty harsh to him in the past. After PATHFINDER and DOOM, I’m pretty sure I threw around the phrase “This Generation’s Marc Singer” more than a few times. And I was wrong. Very wrong. Abrams saw potential in him and got a performance that was so close to the original series that at times he almost out-DeForest-Kelley’s DeForest Kelley. He’s brilliant - absolutely wonderful as the gruff country doctor turned interstellar surgeon.

And he’s not alone. There are so many pitch perfect performances in this that embody the soul of the characters and TREK itself that it is astounding. Quinto IS Spock. He just is. Simon Pegg manages to capture all the fun of Scotty and distills it in his own, hilarious way. And Chris Pine just captures all the swagger, ego and machismo of James T. Kirk. Not the older, aging, soulful Kirk. The 1960’s tight shirt Kirk who never hesitated and was always a step ahead of everyone else. He never apes Shatner. He just personifies everything that was great about that hard living, hard loving, tough as nails captain.

And above all, that’s what sells this film. The painstaking love the film has for the series and its characters. While it can be viewed and enjoyed by the uninitiated in the ways of classic trek, the film borrows famous lines of dialog, hints about encounters and vintage jokes from all over the place to fully place this in the STAR TREK universe. Fans will detect very definite notes of WRATH OF KHAN and YOYAGE HOME, without it ever deliberately ripping off either. Already I’m noticing a lot of folks referencing KHAN as the inspiration as there is a revenge plot layered within it. Yet this never attempts to be truly like KHAN. It wants to be something else. KHAN was about the final days of the starship enterprise (despite its subsequent 4 adventures) – it was about coming to grips with death. This is about coming to grips with life – about seizing your destiny and living up to your potential. It is very much about the crew we all know and love learning to believe in themselves for the first time with the confidence that would get them through another 80-some odd adventures.

The film is tight, explosive and fun, a stark contrast to the previous series. Put together with modern sensibilities, the film doesn’t leave a lot of breathing room for characters to stand around laying out exposition. The pace is fast and frenetic, with the crew always playing catch up to what is going on around them. The action is far crazier than you’ve ever seen in a TREK film or episode, replete with car chases, sky diving, truly evasive maneuvers, starship battles that are a hell of a lot more than two ships staring one another down and pressing buttons, rough and tumble fistfights and shoot outs – all the while maintaining that classic TREK feel, even when doing something you’ve never seen in TREK. Everything just feels right. Organic. Authentic. That’s the word. Authentic. This never feels like a copy. It’s the real deal.

And there’s a good chance it is going to blow your fucking doors off. I cannot express how happy I am with this film. Every moment worked for me – it felt like there wasn’t so much as a hair out of place. I LOVED it. My non Trek-loving wife LOVED it. And the energy in the room was incredible. When I walked out, I was saying it was as good as WRATH OF KHAN. Now that I’ve had some time to settle and reflect, I’m not going to quite make that claim. It’s not as great as KHAN. But it is a short hairs breath away from being that good. It is certainly better than any other TREK movie to date that doesn’t have the word WRATH in the title. Solid, fun and a pure joy to watch, this is the summer blockbuster to beat. A few more films like this and we’ll have a summer like last year.

Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em.

Massawyrm

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Reader Talkback

Gush now, hate later
by GeorgieBoy
Apr 7th, 2009
06:24:25 AM
So...
by kwisatzhaderach
Apr 7th, 2009
06:29:15 AM
'Put together with modern sensibilities'
by kwisatzhaderach
Apr 7th, 2009
06:30:37 AM
Jealous
by Nordling
Apr 7th, 2009
06:31:35 AM
Thanks for the spoiler free take
by Kentucky Colonel
Apr 7th, 2009
06:33:27 AM
PLANT!!
by oatmeal2348
Apr 7th, 2009
06:38:40 AM
ummmm
by shazam7
Apr 7th, 2009
06:39:50 AM
Enjoy This Time
by SamuelLappDance
Apr 7th, 2009
06:41:34 AM
I'm hopeful.
by tonagan
Apr 7th, 2009
06:42:06 AM
Hair does not exist in this dojo
by Cobra--Kai
Apr 7th, 2009
06:42:44 AM
"A short hair's breath away"
by Manos
Apr 7th, 2009
06:46:16 AM
Borg does not exist in this dojo
by Cobra--Kai
Apr 7th, 2009
06:48:21 AM
But is it Cloverfield, Twighlight, TPM GOOD???
by quantize
Apr 7th, 2009
06:50:39 AM
suspicious
by Cedar_Room
Apr 7th, 2009
06:52:02 AM
quantize...save that shit for a Harry Talkback
by Massawyrm 1
Apr 7th, 2009
06:54:42 AM
This Generation's Marc Singer-that a BAD thing?
by j2talk
Apr 7th, 2009
06:54:49 AM
Are those 2 ferrets in your pocket, or are you just happy to see
by YeahBigJimmy
Apr 7th, 2009
07:01:48 AM
oh marc singer...
by Bouncy X
Apr 7th, 2009
07:05:14 AM
i met Marc Singer was really nice fella
by Groothewarrior
Apr 7th, 2009
07:09:18 AM

by Cobra--Kai
Apr 7th, 2009
07:11:22 AM
nice...
by richievanderlow
Apr 7th, 2009
07:11:44 AM
Marc Singer
by SamuelLappDance
Apr 7th, 2009
07:25:45 AM
Mike Donovan
by kwisatzhaderach
Apr 7th, 2009
07:42:50 AM
Sounds like more f/x-geewiz cutting over actually story. =\
by jae683
Apr 7th, 2009
07:49:03 AM
Will I like this film?
by Franklin T Marmoset
Apr 7th, 2009
07:52:12 AM
Sounds like there's a good chance I'll like this.
by CreasyBear
Apr 7th, 2009
08:11:22 AM
Massawyrm, save that shit for a AICN tabletop talkback!
by Leafar the Lost
Apr 7th, 2009
08:11:58 AM
Ignore this post, I am practising with the dots...
by Leafar the Lost
Apr 7th, 2009
08:14:20 AM
Maybe there's hope for Transformers 2?
by CHRISTIAN_BALE_TRASHED_MY_LIGH TS
Apr 7th, 2009
08:17:07 AM
"Needing to Invent New Levels of Hyperbole"
by MrMerle
Apr 7th, 2009
08:20:01 AM
Everyone Trusts Massa, but Not Harry
by Crow3711
Apr 7th, 2009
08:24:59 AM
I said on this site many times. . . .
by Darth_Kaos
Apr 7th, 2009
08:30:54 AM
Massa, your analysis of KHAN is terrible
by YackBacker
Apr 7th, 2009
08:39:29 AM
Umm...First Contact
by robert.thekilled
Apr 7th, 2009
08:40:03 AM
Oh fuck off Massa
by quantize
Apr 7th, 2009
08:58:11 AM
ev1dead
by rogueleader66
Apr 7th, 2009
09:07:04 AM
Look . . .
by adiehardfanwithalethalweapon
Apr 7th, 2009
09:16:31 AM
Quantize!!
by DoctorWho?
Apr 7th, 2009
09:34:48 AM
Excuse me...
by Out of your element
Apr 7th, 2009
09:39:09 AM
Want good reviews? Star Fuck a Geek...
by conspiracy
Apr 7th, 2009
09:43:22 AM
Goddamn, I want to see this movie!!!
by Dragon Man
Apr 7th, 2009
09:50:39 AM
Doctor Who...take that sonic screwdriver and...
by quantize
Apr 7th, 2009
09:53:02 AM
Attention haters!
by Zarles
Apr 7th, 2009
10:05:41 AM
Khan was great.
by Knobules
Apr 7th, 2009
10:18:21 AM
Crow3711
by Dotren
Apr 7th, 2009
10:18:35 AM
Sounds like a movie for morons
by Klytus_I.m_Bored
Apr 7th, 2009
10:27:12 AM
First Contact
by Koyaanisqatsi
Apr 7th, 2009
10:32:40 AM

by Cobra--Kai
Apr 7th, 2009
10:36:03 AM

by Cobra--Kai
Apr 7th, 2009
10:38:32 AM
ev1ldead
by rogueleader66
Apr 7th, 2009
11:10:19 AM
YOYAGE HOME II : THE YOYAGING
by Squashua
Apr 7th, 2009
11:15:13 AM
Koyaanisqatsi, sorry
by rogueleader66
Apr 7th, 2009
11:15:38 AM
I hope they try this SWITCH for GB3 for the first film
by Six Demon Bag
Apr 7th, 2009
11:21:12 AM
This movie could be REALLY good
by Klytus_I.m_Bored
Apr 7th, 2009
11:24:55 AM
Seconded, rogueleader66...
by DiamondJoe
Apr 7th, 2009
11:28:34 AM
Kick ass!
by Darth Macchio
Apr 7th, 2009
11:38:01 AM
First Contact
by Redmantle
Apr 7th, 2009
11:42:14 AM
Redmantle
by rogueleader66
Apr 7th, 2009
12:11:19 PM
People don't get that this is a film for the Masses
by victor82
Apr 7th, 2009
12:15:08 PM
Khan is a tad overhyped
by awepittance
Apr 7th, 2009
12:31:59 PM
I agree that Khan is a tad overhyped. I loved it tho
by DoctorZoidberg
Apr 7th, 2009
12:39:00 PM
About First Contact
by CloseLight
Apr 7th, 2009
12:39:14 PM
The Undiscovered Country was shit. As a kid I hated it
by DoctorZoidberg
Apr 7th, 2009
12:39:33 PM
I think JJ's movie will own the summer. Just wait.
by DoctorZoidberg
Apr 7th, 2009
12:40:19 PM
Picard is still a god though, no matter what anyone sez
by DoctorZoidberg
Apr 7th, 2009
12:40:58 PM
FYI LONDON AICN TALKBACKERS - IMAX BOOKING
by Mr_X
Apr 7th, 2009
01:12:51 PM
the undiscovered country was the best st movie
by Mr_X
Apr 7th, 2009
01:16:10 PM
Mr_X
by shodan6672
Apr 7th, 2009
01:33:57 PM
I fucking can't wait now
by DIBARAHMAN
Apr 7th, 2009
01:39:03 PM
Undisc. Country & # 1st Contact are > Khan.
by FleshMachine
Apr 7th, 2009
02:35:43 PM
NO SQUID = FAIL
by Le Vicious Fishus
Apr 7th, 2009
02:35:54 PM
I liked the Undiscovered Country
by ATARI
Apr 7th, 2009
02:37:07 PM
First Contact...
by symon
Apr 7th, 2009
03:04:50 PM
you mean "bait and switch WOK for ST"
by FleshMachine
Apr 7th, 2009
03:05:30 PM
symon
by FleshMachine
Apr 7th, 2009
03:10:29 PM
ATARI
by FleshMachine
Apr 7th, 2009
03:11:35 PM
KHAN overhyped? UNDISCOVERED shit?
by YackBacker
Apr 7th, 2009
03:12:11 PM
First Contact
by Jodet
Apr 7th, 2009
03:21:31 PM
What made First Contact excellent? Not?
by Darth Macchio
Apr 7th, 2009
03:28:22 PM
Darth Macchio
by FleshMachine
Apr 7th, 2009
03:33:59 PM
as for khan...
by FleshMachine
Apr 7th, 2009
03:36:23 PM
Undiscvd.Country's prison was cool as hell
by FleshMachine
Apr 7th, 2009
03:37:43 PM
darth
by slkboxrman
Apr 7th, 2009
03:55:58 PM
The main problem with First Contact
by whopis01
Apr 7th, 2009
04:00:55 PM
Great...now it appears...
by The Eskimo
Apr 7th, 2009
04:09:19 PM
Preventing first contact is a bit of a stretch I think...
by Darth Macchio
Apr 7th, 2009
04:11:51 PM
jodet
by slkboxrman
Apr 7th, 2009
04:14:06 PM
darth
by slkboxrman
Apr 7th, 2009
04:24:40 PM
diamond joe
by slkboxrman
Apr 7th, 2009
04:35:43 PM
WRATH OF KHAN SUCKED!!
by BringingSexyBack
Apr 7th, 2009
04:57:03 PM
TWOK Sucked?!?!?!
by BlueHawaiiSurfer
Apr 7th, 2009
05:17:02 PM
ATTN DARLTON
by BillboeFett
Apr 7th, 2009
05:19:56 PM
"as good as WRATH OF KHAN" - AICN
by Reelheed
Apr 7th, 2009
05:22:14 PM
Roger Friedman got his motherfucking ass FIRED!
by Leafar the Lost
Apr 7th, 2009
05:30:29 PM
BSB, don't bait me brother!
by YackBacker
Apr 7th, 2009
05:32:54 PM
All I want to know is
by Klytus_I.m_Bored
Apr 7th, 2009
05:52:16 PM
YACKBACKA
by ChaimBenSexyback
Apr 7th, 2009
06:09:30 PM
BringingSexyBack
by rogueleader66
Apr 7th, 2009
06:13:05 PM
BSB
by rogueleader66
Apr 7th, 2009
06:14:08 PM
BRINGINGSEXYBACK IS A CLUELESS MORON
by ChaimBenSexyback
Apr 7th, 2009
06:15:09 PM
ON THAT NOTE, SHOULDN'T THEY HAVE STRAPPED GUINAN TO A MACHINE
by ChaimBenSexyback
Apr 7th, 2009
06:17:29 PM
Oh and BSB btw
by Falcon5768
Apr 7th, 2009
06:19:50 PM
calm down, calm down
by Mr_X
Apr 7th, 2009
06:43:11 PM
Check out my review
by bobsjohnson
Apr 7th, 2009
07:18:32 PM
Rewatched Undiscovered Country a year ago...
by strosmer
Apr 7th, 2009
07:52:38 PM
Fixed it for you
by Mr_X
Apr 7th, 2009
08:31:54 PM
You guys suck
by dilbynuggets
Apr 7th, 2009
09:12:40 PM
oh yeah...
by dilbynuggets
Apr 7th, 2009
09:16:59 PM
BSB, congrats man
by YackBacker
Apr 7th, 2009
10:41:32 PM
Just watched that McCoy clip on Yahoo...
by Anti-fanboy
Apr 7th, 2009
11:31:39 PM
slkboxrman...
by DiamondJoe
Apr 8th, 2009
03:04:20 AM
I am an avid trek fan. Own every series and all the movies.
by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz
Apr 8th, 2009
03:18:20 AM
Oh and BSB I got to disagree.
by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz
Apr 8th, 2009
03:28:33 AM
Oz
by YackBacker
Apr 8th, 2009
06:51:29 AM
BSB KIDDING??? SURELY YOU JEST!!!
by Le Vicious Fishus
Apr 8th, 2009
07:39:54 AM
Abrams sucks . . .
by adiehardfanwithalethalweapon
Apr 8th, 2009
08:07:17 AM
Abrams
by rogueleader66
Apr 8th, 2009
09:31:38 AM
Luv "Khan", but why do all ST films since...
by EriamJH
Apr 8th, 2009
10:14:41 AM
this is not a review
by Happy Boy
Apr 8th, 2009
11:06:37 AM
YACK - DO IT FOR LOVE
by ChaimBenSexyback
Apr 8th, 2009
11:12:10 AM
CBSB/BSB
by YackBacker
Apr 8th, 2009
11:34:00 AM
Yackbacker, I made an error
by DoctorZoidberg
Apr 8th, 2009
12:02:09 PM
YACKBACKSTA
by ChaimBenSexyback
Apr 8th, 2009
12:48:00 PM
Join free millionaire dating club richpassion.com to find hot gi
by emilygirl
Apr 8th, 2009
01:51:52 PM
EMILYGIRL
by ChaimBenSexyback
Apr 8th, 2009
02:22:09 PM
Zoidberg, thanks for clearing that up
by YackBacker
Apr 8th, 2009
02:37:29 PM
emilygirl,
by mrfan
Apr 9th, 2009
12:12:45 AM
goddamnit I can't wait
by mr. smith
Apr 10th, 2009
03:43:45 PM

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