Hey there everyone, Harry here. Once again I'd
like to apologize for the lateness of this report as...
Well, quite frankly, I really can't believe it's been
nearly half a year since this trip. It feels as though it
were merely a week or two ago. To pick up on where
I was yesterday, let's begin.

To catch you up real quickly I was in
Rotterdam pal-ing around with Jarno, Hooglander
and the Beast. As well as Bart Van Der Put (I believe
that was his name. He was a cool critic from
Amsterdam and dreams of a day when genre film
lovers can openly praise their films without being
looked down upon as some sort of freaks. Jarno
contacted me today with this little photo he put
together of me eating fries with mayo (Patat met) in
the land of windmills. Where he added dialogue from
PULP FICTION...

Meanwhile, the identity of 'that guy from
Amsterdam' has been uncoverd. This mysterious
genius of film and images is none other than....
Sander de Regt! Though, I call him Sander (and
sometime Kermit but... well, you'll see) I first saw
Sander riding this most peculiar looking bicycle. I
had never seen one like this, and whilst I was
informed it is considered to be a geeky mode of
transportation, I... Well. This bicycle was a
TRANSFORMER, in otherwords it was more than
meets the eye. This amazing contraption suddenly
and a bit like the HELLRAISER puzzlebox would
just suddenly begin transforming into what can only
be described as a rolling footstool. Small and
compact and easy to take into the theater, or on the
train. Very cool. I really liked this tiny device.
Instantly I wanted to know more about the
Chaplin-esque guy and his wondrous device.

It was, in fact, Sander, the man who was taking
me to Amsterdam to experience the universe of this
oft talked about center of culture and beauty. Sander
would strike you instantly as a peculiar man. He
seems to move as though a thousand conflicting
creative concepts were all bouncing around at once.
Bottled excitement. We hopped into his Van and
traversed to Amsterdam. On the highway we passed
the countryside which was extremely green and
extremely flat. You know the grid that a lightcycle
dashes about? Well imagine it being green with lines
dividing it all up and that's pretty darn close.

As we entered Amsterdam I immediately
noticed that the town was vastly older looking than
Rotterdam. And was a completely canaled city.
Gorgeous. Moss grew everywhere giving this green
slightly iridescent sheen to the stone work alongside
the canals. The air there was damp and when I say
the city injected one with life... I say it without a bit
of cornball. There was a beauty and an energy that
really got me excited. My God.... I was in
Amsterdam with some strange man named
Sander.

As we begin searching for parking to store his
van, things became interesting. I have always hated
parallel parking, and when Sander found this one spot
I was absolutely convinced there was no way that on
this narrow street and in that spot that looked to be a
quarter meter too short, that he'd squeeze this vehicle
in there. What ensued was the most magical and
amazing act of parallel parking I have ever
beheld.

I believe there was no less than forty 6 inch
back and forths to miraculously slip in. Not once did
he so much as touch the car in front or in back. It
was, in a word, amazing.

Alright, now we unload from the car and bound
down the alleyway to his little upstairs apartment.
Upon opening that door there was the smallest
tightest spiral staircase in the history of man. About
two inches of each foot could fit on a stair at a time.
Also the actual physical space was about 3 inches
wider than me, I'm sure if one were looking down
upon me from the top, it would appear as if a
redheaded cork was slowly pulling up out of the neck
of a bottle of some sort. I don't have vertigo, but for
that moment in time I did. I've climbed Mayan
pyramids in TIKAL and PALENQUE with wider
steps... And I never thought I'd see smaller steps than
those.

Sander seemed to delight at every problem that
I found myself in, and was deathly afraid I'd kill his
various chairs with the elephantine mass contained in
my sausage like clothing. I, of course, played to his
fears. Imagine a bull in a china shop and Sander as
the nervous glassware dealer. It is a very apt
analogy.

Once in his home I began to notice a bit of a
muppet motif. Everywhere there seemed to be
muppet and/or Star Wars imagery. We talked about
the female geeks, of which he didn't believe existed.
And according to the guys I met in Holland (all of
which were pretty handsome if I looked with estrogen
soaked eyeballs) seemed to complain of the same
problem. Personally I've never run across this
problem. In my world of Austin there seems to be an
abundance of cool single female geeks of beauty.
Maybe that's why I believe the town is the coolest on
the planet. But I'm getting distracted... back to
Amsterdam.

Sander seemed determined to show me this
short film he had made as his Graduation Film from
Film School. He said it was a science fiction musical
called KAYA and I put up an enthusiastic front,
hoping that it wouldn't suck too bad. You have to
understand. I get a lot of tapes of people trying to do
ultra low budget science fiction shorts and for every
TROOPS level cool short there is a good two dozen
remarkably uncreative works. However, I was
intrigued by his sci-fi musical premise. I mean... after
all, we did sing-a-long to the cd of SINGING IN THE
RAIN all the way from Amsterdam.

Well, the video machine and television came to
life and I sat back ready to be underwhelmed by
KAYA. Boy was I in for a surprise. This piece was
really good. And the music, the songs... Wow. This
stuff was catchy. I still wish I had a cd of the music
cause it gave me goosebumps. And shockingly this
story of an advance totalitarian society that bans
music and dance, which creates an underground of
creative artists willing to sacrifice their lives to sing
and dance... Well damn... I like that story. It really
got me and I wasn't expecting it to. Ya know...
There's this guy out there from the SCIENCE
FICTION CHANNEL that's starting up a new show
that features science fiction shorts, personally, if I
were him... This is one I'd take a look at if I were you.
(
Phone: (+31)(0)20 - 672 30 71 or E-mail: HREF="mailto:sderegt@globalxs.nl">sderegt@globa
lxs.nl)

And I'm not saying that in a "hey my friend
thanks for the trip" I mean that seriously. It's still the
best science fiction short I've seen that been sent to
me that was non-comedic. The special effects work
that Sander put in himself was really quite lovely. He
really has a gift for compositing and a great use of
colors. After that he showed me some test work that
he was doing for a project based on some Dutch
stories about bugs and a beautiful world down
amongst the blades of grass. Sander was doing all the
shots and effects work himself. The work was
beautiful. And he basically getting this work out of a
fairly normal PC. I was a bit shocked, until I
remembered that FOUNDATION works the same
basic way... but here was a single geek and a single
computer doing amazing work. I kept being
reminded of what George Lucas had said in WIRED a
year or two back about a great film coming out of a
garage by some kid and his computer. It's the dream
of digital cinema, and for me... I felt like I was
witnessing it here in the small apartment down a
street two or three over from the market area and one
street away from the most picturesque bakery I have
ever seen.

Sander asked me what sort of shops I was
looking forward to going to, and I instantly said,
SILVERSCREEN. I had heard magical tales of the
place from Tarantino and I was determined to go
there and find something magical and perfect. I also
asked about a vintage toy store. Now mind you I
didn't have very much money on me. I never really
do either. The site allows me to pay the rent and buy
a few cool things, but thus far I still live in the same
house, with the same screwed up bed and with a fan
blowing on me. I ain't rich off this thing, who knows
if that will ever come to pass... Personally, that's not
why I do it. I do it to end up meeting people like
Sander and somehow... I find myself in far off lands
doing the goofiest things.

I first wanted to go to SILVERSCREEN, so we
begin to hike off from his place which Sander says
we'll return to so he could cook me Boerenkool met
Worst. Yeah... uh huh. Right. That sounded a bit
like the worst sounding thing I ever did hear off, but...
when in Amsterdam do as the Amsterdammers
do.

We just began walking. My eyes taking in
doorways, boats, cannons, bridges, churches,
cathedrals. My ears were attuned to a constantly
talking Sander. When all of a sudden something
seemed to click in his head and he began doing
muppet voices. I began doing muppet and cartoon
voices. He did Yoda, I did Yoda and quickly I found
myself in the midst of the strangest most surreal
conversation as I did Ms Piggy and he did Kermit, or
he did Mickey Mouse and I did Goofy... all whilst
walking this ancient city. And there I was, immersed
in a conversation about Jim Henson and what he
meant to a guy in Amsterdam. Wow. Isn't that
something, I thought. Being tied up in America so
much I have tended to really believe my icons as
being my icons. But here was another person, from
across an ocean with the same loves and interests.
Sure... On the computer I meet tons of people. But
here... Where it's back and forth. No time for Internet
Movie Database, or a quick Yahoo search... Here it
becomes real. No posing. No pretended knowledge.
This Sander fellow... He knew his musicals and
muppets, and then there was Star Wars. And folks...
He knew his Star Wars and John Landis and John
Carpenter.... In fact... there was scarcely a single icon
of my youth that he wasn't familiar with. He loved
film.

Eventually we found SILVERSCREEN only to
see it was closed for another 2 hours. Drats. Just
peering in through the window I could tell.... Cool
shit lay inside. So off we went to this toy store.

Man. This toy store kicked ass. Old tin litho
robots and flying saucers. This was the best
collectible vintage toy shop I've seen. And the prices
were... reasonable. Cheaper by 30% from American
prices. Man... The old vintage Robby The Robot tin
litho. I didn't quite have enough. Darn it.

While I love vintage toys, my first love in
collecting is vintage movie paper, so I was holding
out for what I would find at SILVERSCREEN. So
after a time of oogling we headed back.

It seemed like it was taking about four times
longer to get back, but then... that was probably my
anticipation. My ‘beeper’, my ‘spidey sense’ was
going off like a gong on the Gong Show. There was
something I was meant to find. A treasure of some
sort, I knew it. We found this one comic shop on the
way back that had mainly underground comix and
sure enough, there was the amazing Joop Klepzeiker
and his horny dog Harry. God I love this character.
But back at my hotel I had Joop Klepzeiker #1, and I
couldn’t wait to show it to my degenerate dad.

Finally we made it back to SILVERSCREEN
and man... This is a great shop! Instantly the smell of
vintage movie paper poured into my attuned nostrils.
Tis the sweetest smell save that of honeysuckle that I
have known and loved. I followed my nose to... The
vintage posters. I began flipping through the Belgium
posters and started making a stack of interesting
posters. Specifically BLACK SLEEP, BLACK
SABBATH and an original stamped ADVENTURES
OF ROBIN HOOD in Belgium. But... Then I saw
the stack of American posters and I knew... The item
I was looking for laid in there. Gigantic piles
wrapped in plastic. I sat down on the floor and went
through all 500 - 600 posters and sure enough...
there.... right there was my treasure.

Wow. A one-sheet American Issue for the
second Laurel and Hardy feature. Holy Shit! Now...
Would I be able to afford it. It’s not in mint shape,
but... who the hell cares, right? Hmmm... So, I make
a slightly larger pile. Trying to make the L&H poster
less conspicuous. I go to ‘check out’ and HOLY
SHIT!! The total for everything came to the
equivalent of $125 American. YIPEE! Getting a
deal is one of the greatest feelings in the world when
collecting, cause anybody can collect at that BIG
MONEY level. But us little guys, with the smaller
bank accounts... It’s a bitch.

Sander and I spend the rest of the day
wandering Amsterdam, eating at this bizarre place
with a giant statue of Goliath that just cried out to
come to life ala Harryhausen and kill me whilst I ate
Potato Pancakes with bacon bits and ham.

After walking till the sun began disappearing
we hiked it back over to his place and once there, he
began to cook... Boerenkool met Worst. Ya know
what. This stuff was really really good. It consists
of, but is not exclusive to, cabbage, potatoes, other
stuff and some sort of sausage/worst. I’m sure
someone will post below what it was. All I know is it
really hit the spot.

Then it was time to head back to my hotel in
Rotterdam. On the way back we talked about the
problems with the Dutch film industry and Sander’s
dream for a more open film production country where
movies can be made that entertained as well as being
of quality. According to Sander’s letter I received
today, it looks as if that’s beginning to come true,
here... listen..

A small update on the Romantic Comedy-thing: some things are indeed
changing in The Netherlands, just like the story about the Indie studio
suggests. These changes will (if they prove to be as good as they
promise us they will be) allow a greater chance for people like myself,
to get cool movies made.

Richard Woolley has been appointed 'intendant' for our National Film
Fund and he will be judging subsidiary applications primarily on
their....(wait for it) ENTERTAINMENT value! A whole new concept for the
money people over here, but a promising one nonetheless.
So this is the man who will be a very important figure in the Dutch Film
landscape in the near future. I hope he'll like my idea, but then again
so do probably about 200 other people, so I won't be getting my hopes up
to high for now.

I have attached the teaser poster I will be sending the fund with my
application.

The Cgi-live-action-bugs-pilot has been completed, but I can show you no
example of how it turned out since they're still busy trying to get all
the necessary rights to be able to make it. But when they do and they
find the money, I'll be doing about 500 cgi/compositing shots from my
little Amsterdam apartment. How cool is that?
It turned out beautifully though, it sometimes has a hint of the feel of
the Falkor(?)flying scene from Neverending Story to it, just this small
boy sitting on the back of a giant wasp flying into the sunset. It has a
lot of potential...I hope they'll be able to sell it.

I'll be seeing you!

Greetings, Sander (de Regt)

As I left Holland I made a promise to my cohorts. I said I would introduce to you
folks around the world Joop Klepzeiker and his dog Harry. So... without further ado...
Here’s Joop and his horny dog Harry right here in my home atop the Alamo...

And with that, I wrap this report on up. The trip to Holland was simply bliss. From the unmentionables to the mentionables. Mostly it was the glee and joy the fans of cinema there exhibited. There was sheer joy and celebration of the artform in their eyes and in their words. But for now, it's time for me to merely say to everyone that I met on my Dutch Journeys: