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International Eye Candy: MOTHER, CROOKED FINGERS and much more!
International Eye Candy
April 1, 2009
Sure, it may be April Fool's Day but there aint no foolin' here. Nope, it's Todd from Twitch here with another edition of International Eye Candy, our bi-weekly wrap up of the best and brightest and – occasionally – just plain strangest films from around the globe. This time out? Toilet sex! Bollywood Stallone! A flurry of Nordic genre pictures! The latest from the director of THE HOST! And, of course, the proverbial more, more, more!
We begin in Korea with MOTHER, the latest from THE HOST director Bong Joon-Ho. After creating the biggest film in Korean history – and before creating another massive scifi spectacle with the help of OLDBOY's Park Chan-Wook - this is a return to 'small' films for Bong, the story of an aging woman trying to clear her mentally disabled son's name after he is railroaded into confessing to a crime he did not commit. This is much more in line with the Bong who made MEMORIES OF MURDER and since that was a flat-out brilliant film, that's more than okay with me.
Find the first MOTHER teaser here
From a little Korean crime film we move on to a little Canadian crime film, this one a French language caper comedy titled CROOKED FINGERS starring the great – and criminally under appreciated – Roy Dupuis. It's a bit of a road movie, a bit of a comedy, a bit of a morality play and all of it looking absolutely fantastic. And, yes, I realize I just said that about a film represented here by a row of naked asses.
Find the CROOKED FINGERS trailer here
From Canada we head to another land filled with empty spaces and more snow than anybody knows what to do with, that being Russia, where we find NEWSMAKERS. This one is the Russian remake of Johnnie To's BREAKING NEWS. It's a film we've written about in this space before but it's back thanks to a freshly released – and remarkably true to the original film – full length theatrical trailer. I've never considered BREAKING NEWS to be one of To's real a-list films but it's not without its charms – or its fans – and the idea of moving it to Russia is weirdly compelling.
Find the NEWSMAKERS trailer here
From Russia it's just a short jaunt over the sea to Sweden, where we find KENNY BEGINS, the big screen, flowing hair, hysterically b-grade adaptation of cult television series KENNY STARFIGHTER. Again, we've written about this one before but I'm absolutely in love with the look of the thing and it's back thanks to a fresh clip. Instant cult hit here, kids. Take my word for it.
Find the KENNY BEGINS clips here
Right, I promised you toilet sex and toilet sex I shall deliver. The film is MY LOVE LIVES IN THE SEWERS, a new short from Spain, and it features – appropriately enough – a young man involved in a steamy love affair with a woman trapped in the sewers beneath his house. Their only means of physical contact is stretching through the pipes connecting the family toilet to the sewer system, their only means of communication messages passed back and forth on toilet paper. This is truly bizarre, unique stuff that announces yet another amazing talent from Spain.
Find the MY LOVE trailer here
Off to Japan now for the latest trailer from DONJU or DUMB BEAST, the latest film to come from the pen of Kankuro Kudo, the writer / director / award winning playwright / rock and roll guy who also penned PING PONG and Takashi Miike's ZEBRAMAN. This one stars Tadanobu Asano (ICHI The KILLER) as a terminally stupid reporter to dim to realize that he has become the subject of multiple assassination attempts, attempted killings thwarted inadvertently thanks to his own stupidity.
Find the DONJU trailer here
We stick in Japan a bit longer now with the trailer for EDEN OF THE EAST, the new television anime series from director Kenji Kamiyama. Who? Oh, you know, just the director of the hugely acclaimed GHOST IN THE SHELL: STAND ALONE COMPLEX series, striking out into purely original territory here for the first time in his career, Original story or no, it definitely dips into some familiar Kamiyama territory, namely a love-hate relationship with technology, identity issues and widespread terrorism.
Find the EDEN trailer here
Why stop with one bit of anime when you can have two? Particularly when the second is the latest theatrical release in the re-launched NEON GENESIS EVANGELION franchise? This entry is subtitled YOU CAN (NOT) ADVANCE and, like the first feature, will be made up dominantly of re-animated sequences from the original television series – Asuka arrives in this volume – though unlike the first feature this one will also feature some entirely new material. New, old, whatever … Eva is legendary for a reason and any buff and polish is big news.
Find the EVA 2.0 trailer here
Want your giant robot fix a little bit goofier? Then I present to you Jeffery Lau's METALLIC ATTRACTION: KUNG FU CYBORG, quite possibly the highest budgeted unrepentant b-film you're likely to see this year, though fellow Hong Kong product FUTURE X COPS is going to give it a run for the money in that category. Lau is best known for directing Stephen Chau's CHINESE ODYSSEY films, which should give you an idea of where this supposed answer to Michael Bay's TRANSFORMERS is coming from.
Find the CYBORG here
Back north to Norway now, for the first of two pictures featuring stellar Norwegian actor Kristoffer Joner. This one is SKJULT or HIDDEN, a horror picture about to hit screens in Norway that looks to be a pretty compelling blend of eastern and western influences, a smart stew of haunted house, ghost story and survival horror. Joner is fantastic in pretty much everything he does but particularly so when he dips his toes into the genre pool and this looks fantastic.
Find the SKJULT trailer and TV spots here
And it's Joner part two with ROTTENETTER, a film in which he plays a key support role. This one is miles away from SKJULT, however, and much more in keeping with rotten-to-the-core anti-capitalism pictures like WALL STREET or LESS THAN ZERO, a glossy but rotten portrait of a success-at-all-costs stock broker. It's been a while since someone did one of these and did it well but it seems appropriate given the current times and this one looks like just the perfect blend of polish and despair.
Check the ROTTENETTER trailer here
Naked moped bikers! From Denmark! It's THE WILD HEARTS and it looks fantastic!
Find THE WILD HEARTS here
Having seen David Morley's MUTANTS I must confess that it has some significant flaws but, that being said, it also does some very unusual things with the whole zombie mythos that make it quite worthwhile and, hot damn, the guy cuts a great trailer. THE HORDE is going to be the French zombie film of the year, no doubt, but this one is certainly giving it the ol' college try.
Find the MUTANTS trailer here
What do Sly Stallone, Brandon Routh and Denise Richards all have in common? They've all gone over to Bollywood to star alongside Akshay Kumar in KAMBAKKHT ISHQ, a rom-com in which Kumar plays stunt man to the stars. It looks absolutely atrocious, frankly, but there's ol' Sly front and center in the trailer and no doubt laughing all the way to the bank to cash the check for this one …
Watch Stallone sell his soul here
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has crooked fingers.
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I will definitely see that...
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Twitch has returned.
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I think I just found my new background.
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I mean Crooked Little Fingers.
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You seen Big Man Japan or Eden Log?
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Just watched it. Great little film. This whole Magnet distributing is becoming the Pixar of small or foreign movies.
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but we still love ya!
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This could be something interesting.
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..in THE ZONE!
http://zone.aintitcool.com
The official trailer thread:
http://zone.aintitcool.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=45003 -
Both of those are instantly on my must-see list. I don't even need to see the clips to know that they will surely be awesome.A starfighter named Kenny and a cyborg who does kung fu? Genius. I hope those folks can get together and do an international crossover some day.
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That place is the hell animated gifs go to when they die.
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Fighting look like Step Up but with Fighting?
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We've got this brand new Twitch that jumps into your computer like a woman jumps into a sale at New Look, and everyone has the day off?"I'm... so... ronery, so ronery, so ronery and sadry arone..."
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He was out there flying the flag for the mid-sized man, proudly being not exactly obese but not remotely in shape, but I see from his appearance on The Daily Show the other night that he has been broken by Hollywood's seething hatred of the mid-sized. It is a shame.I was considering gaining some weight so I could also be a mid-sized man who inexplicably has sex with women who much too attractive for me, but now I'm not so sure.
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Shit, it's going to be hard work getting this fucker into the top ten.
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It's odd to see "Michael" doing more than speaking in sentence fragments and look pensive.
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Mushi mushi. This is the Asian version of Mint Vs Wank and goes as follows - Mint San:ChocolateInfernal AffairsDeath NoteDeath Note 2Flash Point*Wank Chan Ho:Infernal Affairs IIFlash Point**Flashpoint straddles both lists on account of being equal parts Mint San and Wank Chan Ho.In conclusion, I have not seen enough Asian films this year. I'll try to do a few more this weekend.Domo arigato.
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On last nights note, I had four Coronas and ended up discussing the Premiership in the early 90s, before it turned to thunderous shit.
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Something about attractive woman talking very fast is awesome.
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Can't read the review, want to see that in a cinema. Why? I'm a casual mysoginist, didn't ya catch my ANOES review?
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I mean accidental slips of the word 'bitch' in reference to woman. Not a full blown cunt like Freddy, who uses bitch as descriptive word AND an insult.
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How Robert Englund doesn't get shit for how bad ANOES gets is awesome? We all apologise to him for the films sucking.
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This isn't the right place to post solo.
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Where everything Jon says takes on a frighteningly depressing (yet hilariously so) existentialistic dimension.
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I tried a few posts earlier, but was starting to feel like I had been stood up or somesuch. So I went away and did - shudder - some work.And I agree, attractive woman talking very fast IS awesome. It would be awesomer if they could also do kung fu, but you can't have everything.
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Apr 02, 2009 5:40:45 AM CDT
I'm looking forward to getting my season 1 box set
by franklin t marmoset
When I got home from work last night, I was actually a little disappointed it had not arrived yet, even though I had only ordered it about 3 hours earlier and it is entirely unreasonable to expect Play.com to offer a same day service for no charge whatsoever.
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He's gone beyond the need for the movies. He's an icon now. The movies are just a filler for Freddy.
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I have a backlog of stuff I'm expecting. There's the GG, season 8 of Seinfeld, Once Upon A Time In China parts 1, 2, 3 & 6, plus whatever exciting goodies that are winging their way from HOD.If they all arrive on the same day, I'm calling in sick, getting drunk, and pretending it's Christmas.
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That would rock. Eh, I'll stick to ones who can talk about Lost for ages... and agree Kate is a PATHETIC character. Ya know... that avatar is a piece of... REAL SHIT. Now that I've seen it... BROTHA, I want it to GO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN!
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True - very true. And when I'm ranting on the crapness of his backstory, I will mention that Englund brings his A-Game.
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But it'll STILL arrive quicker than if I ordered it off Amazon.
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He said it was denied any love over here, so he sent it there. I need to get some shut-eye, then I'm going to try to banish my inner slacker and join Jonah on his "30 Days of Horror" mission. I'm a day behind already!
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No matter how bad the Nightmare films get, he's always in there giving it his best, so you have to like the guy. Him and Warwick Davis deserve awards for services above the call of duty while under huge amounts of makeup in films that are sometimes good but often shit. But you would have to come up with a better name for the award than that. That is too long.
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Mavra - soon as you hit 86, I'll patch through my ANOES Part Two review. Gonna do one a day till the franchise is finished. Then do a review for 'Man-Thing', a Marvel horror film.
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You have discovered my secret. Well-played, Mr. Toadkillerdog. However, since my collection of CoC balls forms the basis of my "lumps", I refuse to return them to their former owners. Btw, I am considering the move to a bigger cup size. When shall you be making YOUR donation?
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I have someone begging me to review "Night of the Creeps" when that year arrives, but I'll choose another if Jonah already has plans to do that one.
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Alone In The Dark too.
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Apr 02, 2009 5:59:52 AM CDT
If I don't make myself leave, I'm going to waste another day.
by mavra chang
Must. Sleep. Now. Goodnight, fellow film fans. Have a great day!
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TODAY that avatar is wasting mah MOTHERRRRRRRRRRFUCKING TIMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEE.
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Enjoy the kip.
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Already finding continuity errors in Lost 511? Who gives a fucking shit. Tell me whether the ep was good.
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Have to catch a greyhound down to town.
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Mavra, knock yourself out with Nightof the Creeps. I had briefly considered doing that for 86, but took it off my list because it's not something people can find on dvd. I chose another obscure little film from 86 which definitely deserves some exposure and is far wierder and probably less seen than NOTC, even though I think it's ultimately a better movie. It's also a totally different end of the genre.
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how a dude ended up with a job cleaning portable toilets. ten points if you get the joke.
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I get 10 points.
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Where can someone purchase these movies - that is once they become available? Does your site sell movies, or recommend a specific site that deals in foreign flicks?
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Y'all want toadkiller balls? Remember darlin, I was artillery - I got H.E. balls - high explosive! Not to mention large, heavy and metallic. If'n y'all wanna make Dolly look like Calista Flockhart, then by all means bring your plasma cutter a case of Arrogant Bastard ale, a baseball bat and a squeegee.
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*walking warily to car in case Mavra is lurking with that plasma cutter*
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Damn, it's quiet today.I have done way too much work. And there are still two and a half hours to go!Is it possible to die of boredom?
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How about a HK action retrospective, too? Pretty please?
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Yep, I've seen both Big Man Japan and Eden Log. Eden Log is less a movie than it is an immersive experience. There's very little actual story in it, which some people love and some people hate. Big Man Japan is bizarre and hysterical in a very dry sort of way.
Will these things be available? Some yes, some no. It's too early to really be able to tell what'll come out with subtitles. For Asian stuff I generally shop at yesasia.com the other ones are a big grab bag of sources ... -
Now THAT'S a movie.
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have you been over at Mavra's place recently. I'm doing a retrospective on horror movies, and have two down so far.
JPT, hows it going? You might want to take a look too. The one I did for yesterday(ala 1979) was about a mutant bear, of all things.
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Man what a ridiculous film. Caught that one late night in college senior year. Couldn't believe what I was watching. Went in expecting Walken. Came out with a mutant killer bear.
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This Twitch has been so dead today I've finished all my work (there is, literally, nothing left for me to do) and I've been pissing away the afternoon reading reviews over at Mavra's site.I'll be making a start on your horror retrospective tomorrow morning, since there will no doubt be bugger all to do then, too.Christ, it's like I'm working on the Titanic here. No doubt, I'll be one of the poor bastards who gets screwed out of a place in a lifeboat.
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Sorry chaps, got really sidetracked.
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Apr 02, 2009 10:50:42 AM CDT
Hulked out midget women vehemently oppose kung fu
by franklin t marmoset
They feel that fighting with your feet is cowardly.As far as they're concerned, the only honourable way to murder a man is to smother him with your angry, muscular breasts.
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I have booze there, and delicious sandwiches.Cheers!
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I even posted a link to the legendary sleeping bag scene. Today's movie is The Changeling, with George C. Scott.
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New Twitch. The server was fucked so I couldn't post all day. And as a result, I have to be in tomorrow, fucking up my 2 weeks off. Anyhoo- just a flying visit- see you bright and early then.
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I'm fucking off too. Can't believe I've got to be in tomorrow because of IT monkey fuckheads. Useless wankers.
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That should be the standard name for them and their department.
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haven't been on it in a long time.
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Great band name. IT Monkey Fuckheads for the R rated crowds.
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May the Force be with you. Always.
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was one of the first scary movies I remember seeing as a little one....my aunt showed me that and The Dead Zone one mid-80's afternoon. Awesome!
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Swnt to Mav. YATTA... um, Namaste!
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Echo... echo... echo...
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I made an interesting connection. Who's here to discuss?
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yes?
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Richard's taking Ben to what looked like the Temple. And when Ben comes back, he won't be the same. He'll be changed, he'll no longer be innocent, he'll forever be one of Them. I got the vibe that this is the EXACT same thing that happened to the French pple, Robert, Montand, and the others. They became Others. Only Rousseau didn't like the changes and said they had become "sick". Perhaps this is what her fabled "Sickness" is. Its what turns Ben into an evil manipulative bastard.
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...Juliet had to go through something similar....she refers to herself as an other, but also there was mention of her having to go through a process of being "cast out." maybe something more than symbolic? perhaps it is (or becomes) reversible? Her speaking fluent Latin (after having been on the Island only a few years, presumably busy without TONS of time to learn a language) raised a flag for me. But my memory's a bit hazy, so....thoughts?
The ending of the ep was so great, with reference to Ellie and Charles, and Richard saying he doesn't answer to them... -
on the island in 1977, does that mean that Faraday was born there?
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brother and sister, perhaps?
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Very astute. Also note that Juliet NEVER became Enlightened, because she started time-travelling. You have to go into The Temple to truly become one with The Island. And that conversation with Miles and Hurley rocked. I'm sick of people not fucking getting the whole 'if Jack dies in 1977, it doesn't mean he doesn't come to the Island in 2004' logic. It's NOT THAT FUCKING DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND.
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So I'm thinking Dan and Penny are twins. Luke and Leia.
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All get sent off Island. Just like how Jor-El sends Kar-El to Earth when Krypton gets fucked.
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that charles and ellie were brother and sister....and that maybe Richard was faraday's dad. Something about the way they bickered reminded me of a brother/sister relationship...pretty flimsy, I'll admit. Sort of tough to imagine Richard fathering a child also....seems too human a thing for him to do.
If Charles and Ellie were together and produced kids, it seems they had some sort of falling out....yet Charles and Ben are opposed in some way, Charles has Ellie's number in his phonebook, and Ben can show up at Ellie's place with no real problems. A strangely civil game they are playing with each other, considering the horrid consequences for those not in their inner circle. -
Widmore can clearly contact Ellie anytime he wants - but perhaps when they got banished (together, I figure) the two of them ceased contacting each other. Could be that they both knew the O6 had to get back to The Island, and thus set everything in motion.
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....faraday and penny could end up being ellie's and charles' kids in the same sense that Alex was Ben's "daughter."
Can't wait for next week. Let the judging of Ben commence! -
Yep, 512 will rule. Or suck. But either way, good times. http://tinyurl.com/d46knv
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But Im wondering where they were born and how Widmore made his millions still being on the Island in 1977. Same way Ben made his I guess.
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10 points for you my good sir.
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i knew you would get it if you were around. dammit.
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*Leaves the rest of the bottle next to him...he'll need it when he wakes up. Places a sticker on his forehead that reads "I supported Mavra's tits". Checks out reflection and admires her new super-sized, HE loaded weapons. Walks away whistling and swinging the baseball bat.*
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I'm pissed. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
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Thanks Josh McDaniels--YOU FUCKING SUCK.
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POST HASTE!
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Don't the Others have that box that can give them whatever they want? That's how Locke's dad got on the island.
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Apr 02, 2009 9:07:53 PM CDT
Oh man, what the fuck hit me? *said in high squeaky voice*
by toadkillerdog
*That damn Mavragot me drunk on a case of Arrogant bastard ale, hit me with a baseball bat, then cut my balls off! Now I sound like a member of the lolipop guild on helium* *You'll pay for this Mavra! You'll paaaaaaaayyyy!* * I'll have revenge, revenge!*
*Hey,maybe I can make some money off of this becoming the first male Soprano*
*I forgot to tell Mavra that my balls were booby-trapped (pun intended) the next time her nipples get hard !BOOM! bye bye new Mavra tits and whoever might have been sucking them!* *Revenge! Revenge! My voice is really high now!* -
*I hear they have artificial balls for dogs that got whacked but still wannna feel like a big dog. The should have toadkillerdog balls too* *I'll be back! I'll be back*
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What the hell are you on dude? And can I have some?
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*Big, huge hairy Frankenballs!*
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*Gotta find me some new balls*
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I can hardly wait to try them out! Guess the next guy you see with the massive fresh scorch marks on his face was the one who got a little too close. Who will it be? Mwa ha ha!
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So get this. Fucking I tried calling the shitty theater yesterday to insure that (who gives a shit if the glass used in the new World Trade Center is from another country? Fucking douche's) Conan was actually showing at the theater. Luckily the only phone number I could find was disconnected, not surprised that theater is attached to an failing mall that's almost D-E-D dead. So I prey to the internet gods that the schedule they have posted on Movie Phone showing that Conan is for sure showing tonight is the Websters Dictionary truth.....it was not. The fucking last showing was yesterday! Yesterfuckingday, the day I had off. So I'm pissed the 14 year old behind the glass tells me that he is sorry and the it was really cool to see it on the big screen. I leave crying. Luckily the nice father of the family behind me yells at me from the door telling me that the boner behind the glass wants to talk to me. So turns out that the guy is gonna let me see a free movie. Pretty much my choices are Paul Blart, Taken and 12 Rounds....It was a toss up between Taken and 12 Rounds. But 12 Rounds was just about to start and Deep Blue Sea is one of the greatest movies ever. So I saw 12 Rounds. And needless to say that it is Die Hard 3.5: Speed Harder. I will write a review after I finish my corn dog. Julia Roberts got fucking 20 million for Duplicity? really did anyone even see that movie?
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I feel whole again!
To all members of the CoC- Mavra wiil be on the hunt again soon! Cover your valuables! And whatever you do, do not suck Mavra's tits! -
But that sucks. I would have gone for fucking Conan opening night.
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Apr 02, 2009 9:54:34 PM CDT
Oh shit, I didn't get Frankenstein balls! I got Al Franken -ball
by toadkillerdog
This shit aint right!
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Why is everything you type surrounded by asterixes?
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For the Informers, in which Mickey Rourke plays the same guy he played in Spun, but ever one else is from the 80s.
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But I think I didn't even know it was showing till the next day.
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Apr 02, 2009 10:00:33 PM CDT
Fu - because after Mavra cut me balls off my voice got high
by toadkillerdog
But I am back to near normal now. Although I feel like wriring a book about Rush Limbaugh and running for Senator
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the guy playing the Southern Fist master was the same dude in Riki-Oh, and I can't help but think, "Holy SHIT this guy has come a long way." His and Donnie's fight was fucking incredible. This movies is like all those great kung fu movies in the 70s and 80s, but the action and speed is more realistic. Thanks again, HOD.
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Watching Ip Man, I can't help but think about Devils on the Doorstep. Both present the Japanese as these horrible heartless bad guy, but at least Devils on the Doorstep was making a commentary on China always painting themselves as the victims.
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Not to rub it in, but I saw Conan in theatres as an original release, and I distinctly remember that when Arnold, got gussied up with the black face paint, and started flexing, I heard teenage boys screaming like ten year old girls at a Miley Cyrus concert.
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Apr 02, 2009 10:18:08 PM CDT
By the way Fu - Arrogant Bastard Ale cures all that ails ya!
by toadkillerdog
That is what I will be on this weekend - and I will make damn certain that Ms Chang is nowhere nearby with baseball bat!
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You saw it at original release? That must have been fucking amazing. Damn do I need to get that on DVD.
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Not bad as consolation....you can take the money you saved and buy yourself some new comics.
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And it was amazing!
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Ip man knocking the ammunition barrel out of that cop's pistol was one of the best parts of the movie.
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I went to the store to see if they got the comic I Kill Demons. But they didn't have any though he ordered 20 copies some fuck up in the inventory. So I got Kevin Smith Batman #3.
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I thought people your age didn't know how to use the interwebs.
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Who's that girl in the begging of the episode (what's her name friend)....OH NOOOO ROAR AND FLASH TO THE ISLAND.
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The girl Sawyer conned, and the girl who Kate befriended in one of her flashbacks?
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Apr 02, 2009 10:36:56 PM CDT
Series, I can not tell a lie (ok i just did). I have a female as
by toadkillerdog
Who handles all of this interwebby stuff as well as a few other things!
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I don't know I am just trying to retain the BROAD strokes of Lost at this point.
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This Lost made little to no sense. I knew I wasn't that dumb. I started the thing like half the way through. Wasn't paying attention or looking for the credits which sometimes come like 15 min in.
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what I don't get is why the ones that got away only to come back, don't just listen to Tom Sawyer? I mean they act like he is just some idiot.
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They better get the guy who played the Bruce Lee look-alike in Shaolin soccer, and they better have Donnie Yen train his ass off. Whoever they get to play Bruce Bad Motherfucking Grandmaster Lee, his ass better be in tip top shape, and he better at least have some resemblance.
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thats a great one. When you mentioned grown men screaming as he flexed, that was comedy gold.
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Dead again.Balls.
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Everyone has good things to say about it, I'm trying to expand the number of Donnie Yen films I've seen, and of course it's Asian season; so I check out when this Ip Man is going to be available here in foggy old England... 29 October 2009?Fuck's sake.
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"Hey, Frank, how is Man Men going lately?"Well, Frank, I'm beginning to suspect that program is not as good as everyone reckons."What makes you say that, Frank old buddy?""Don't get me wrong: The character writing is good, I enjoy the little insights into life in the early sixties, and Christina Hendricks is just a great big box of woman; but my God that dribbles along, and I'm not sure it's even dribbling anywhere interesting."Those are valid points, Frank.""I thought you might say that.""Anything else?""What happened to all that stuff about Don's secret past? Was that quietly resolved while I wasn't looking? And is Connor off Angel getting shafted, or what? He had an interesting little weasly character going there, but now he hardly seems to do anything. And are they ever going to do anything with that gay guy?""I don't know, Frank. I don't know.""Ah, you're fucking useless. Why don't you go and watch Gilmore Girls, you homo?"
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That should be 'Mad Men' and there should be many more quotation thingys in there.Going slowly insane from boredom must have some sort of affect on your typing skills.
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I just wrote out a whole diatribe condemning The Spirit then lost it all. I'll try to recreate it but it's so shit I really don't think I can be bothered. Long story short, it's godawful. A complete load of shit from start to finish. It's incredibly boring, and has scenes that meander and go nowhere. Like a grandad joke that doesn't have a punchline. Or an SNL sketch. Whoever let that cunt Miller make a film, especially desecrating Eisners creation, should be fed to the chipper. Eisner wouldn't be turning in his grave, he'd be spinning like that bloke in Mission to Mars. And that's all I got. I feel like bollocks and I've got a shitload of work to do (hence not posting much here).
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I know I haven't checked out many movies lately, but c'mon peeps! Though after a late night of painting, I'm flipping around and came across Troy on FX. Fuck...Brad Pitt was awful in that. "Take it, it's yours!" I would have slashed his heel right there if I was on that boat!Either that, or hurling in the corner of the boat. Choppy waves man!
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Frankie do work in lieu of posting silly comments here.Shame on you all!
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Still almost in the top five.
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how goes it? It's my birthday today, so the wife and I are gonna be off and about soon. Any plans for the weekend, guys?
Tonight the old school theater, The Senator(which is incidentally in the process of going to auction) is playing The Horror of Dracula. I think we might check it out.
Frankie, Pillow, did you see my horror column today? Theres a pretty demented little flick on there I think you will get a kick out of. Let me know if you have ever heard of it. -
didn't see you there at first...
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It's going to be quiet. Jarv is on vacation for two weeks and we still have some members MIA.The Spirit looks unwatchable in the trailers.Ip Man is coming in your kit Frank and I'm starting to get a bit worried that you haven't received it. It went out over a week ago.You watching Mad Men, Frank? I'm just getting through season two. Not sure if the stuff from Don's past is there to continually come up. We saw that he wanted to get as far away from those people as possible and he suceeded until his brother discovered him. And we know how that turned out.
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For shame, making me work and whatnot. What am I supposed to be, some kind of grown up here?
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I've checked out the first couple of instalments of your column, which is an idea so good/dumb that I wish I had thought of it myself.It's good work so far. I just wish I had seen the films, particularly the one with the inside-out bear.
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My dad flies in tomorrow so that means it's a two week binge of cigars and port.Before I go to the airport I'm going to do a double feature of some Twitch recommendations: Rough Cut and Mandate. And those will go down with some blackberry witbier.I find I spend way too much of my day on Mavra's site and AIBN. Who knew this group was such a creative bunch of slackers.I'm in an inexplicably good mood again today. It's Friday, it's payday. Life ain't bad.
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That is the only genuinely cool news I've got out of this site today.I'm also a bit worried about the post situation. There's a bunch of stuff I've ordered that has yet to arrive. I'm off down the post office tomorrow to find out if there's a problem - hopefully there won't be. Postmen will be getting kicked into trees if there is.
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The gore factor may be a little too high for me but it sounds an ideal drunkening movie.And should I be checking out Cold Prey?
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...has become equal parts great and annoying, for some reason. I love the subtlety of the character writing - that's good stuff - but I find myself more and more thinking "What is the point of this programe?"Not when Betty Draper was in the yellow bikini, though. That was some top quality television right there.
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Happy birthday, mate.I'm assuming you've started drinking already. If not, why not?
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Bloody hell it's busy. Haven't got time to scratch my nuts. Thank christ its friday. Feeling poorly and too much work. The two things I hate more than anything. Woe is me. Not watched Mad Men or even Man Men. Not seen IP Man either.
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Apr 03, 2009 7:55:39 AM CDT
Whenever January Jones or the redhead are on screen
by hawaiian organ donor
I don't really care what's going on. And just to be clear, I'd bang 95% of that secretarial pool as well.
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Grab Ip Man this weekend. You won't be disappointed.Is it just me or does the summer blockbuster season start earlier and earlier each year?
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Apr 03, 2009 8:15:21 AM CDT
HOD, yes my fingers are sticky
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I'll take your recommendation and grab it.
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The season may be getting longer, but each year it seems to get less and less interesting. I can't even remember when I was truly, really excited to watch a summer blockbuster.
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You are all a quality bunch. I'll get to the drinking soon enough. Just me and the missus hanging out. I still can't believe how blessed I am to have such a caring wife; she has fully consented to hitting up The Senator tonight to check out the memorabilia sale and see The Horror of Dracula. Good times! We might also catch Knowing sometime early afternoon, that or Adventureland.
Got a big birthday party bash over here tomorrow night, with a showing of Outlander at the end of it.
HOD, did you read my review for The Pit? I almost gave you a shout-out in it because the central plot device reminded me of your wood-chipper idea. That and it's just a nutty nutty movie.
Cold Prey is actually on my column for review, except it's obviously one of the last few entries. It's really good if you enjoy slasher movies, and if you don't it's still pretty good. Im not a slasher fan, and I got caught up in it. It's not really comedic or anything though. You are watching it because you like shocks, scares, tense stuff etc. It's not overly gory either.
HOD, if you want a horror film with some funny in it, and some decent fright stuff see Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon. I'm pretty sure you would get a kick out of that. -
Is a must see.
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I'll take a look at your latest entry over at Mavra's site, probably during lunch.
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Watching Micheal J. Fox on letterman last night, its weird. Too bad ALL OF YOU ARE SINNERS and aren't watching Breaking Bad because otherwise we could discuss how he kind of sounds like his son on the show.
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And I'll need to get my hands on IP Man one of these days. I just haven't had time lately to watch many movies.
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IT monkey muthafucking soap dropping fuckhead bitches!
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NB - Mad Men RULES.
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Worst fucking film of this decade.
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That tittle belongs to Marley and Me.
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Yeah Frankie I wonder that same thing. Like where is all this going? Also how come Draper can just pretty much do anything he wants? That being said AMC re-made Prisoner with Outlander starring I want to see that.
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Don's past comes back into play the last few episodes of season two. Right at teh time Don and weasel boy go to LA to drum up business.
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Er, How goes it?
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Apr 03, 2009 9:40:53 AM CDT
I saw Marley and Me a few weeks ago
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I watched it (because of a woman) and I got exactly what I expected from a "crazy" dog movie. Which is to say it was forgettable and innocuous. One thing that disturbed me greatly was the sight of Kathleen Turner as the dog trainer. Seriously, WTF!?!?! How can that beast be the same sexy bitch from Body Heat? Jesus.
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and the Henson company have replaced her with some sort of giant Hutt puppet with 6 or 7 animators inside using the same voice distortion Vin Diesel had in the Iron Giant. Its the only explanation.
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She's like a mini-Bates now...more raging beast than woman.
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Those animators have slowly gone crazy, thinking they really are Kathleen Turner now.Disturbing.
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Apr 03, 2009 9:47:12 AM CDT
Seriously, she looks like Michael Rooker
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
And whats particularly disturbing is that it's the Michael Rooker from Slither!
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Marley and Me looked fucking shit from the posters. The Spirit had a small chance of being good.
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and from time to time, the kathleen hutt puppet will absorb or devour a person, and then they find themselves in with the puppeteers who are basically in the same mental zone as all those green little aliens in Toy Story. "The Turner is our master now. She decides who will go and who will stay."
It's more than a little ironic that her most appropriate role recently was in Monster House..where she played the house. -
Apr 03, 2009 10:49:21 AM CDT
Alright you bastards, I'm off
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
As I'm feeling poorly I've roped in my lady friend to nurse me back to health. Commence the massage therapy! Have a good weekend, one and all.
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Back to work....
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first off, Happy Birthday!
Second...when you say the Senator, do you mean THE Senator--the John-Waters-loving, han-solo-in-carbonite, real butter Senator in B-more?
Say it ain't so, man! I mean, damn, I haven't been outta MD that long! -
I posted your birthday wishes elsewhere. So I'm not gonna repeat myself here.
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But I couldn't help but be aware the whole time of the constant Communist propaganda, Japanese resentment, and Chinese victimism. The action scenes were amazing, especially Dnnie vs. Ricky Oh and Donnie vs. 10 Japanese masters, but it got damn preachy from the occupation of Japan onward. I understand the history, and of course, feel a great deal for the wrongs commited upon the Chinese people, but after seeing Devils on the Doorstep, I have just been trying to look at both sides with a little more compassion. The Japanese aren't nameless monsters and they're not all crazed egotistical sadists. They're people caught up in a war, and they deserve to be portrayed with a little more humanity.
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It makes me a bit afraid to start making movies. Only in the sense that I like to entertain people and it seems that no matter who you are, once you start getting successful or make one critically acclaimed film, and then make one that isn't as good or that people are indifferent to, you're suddenly considered a hack here by the AICN talkbackers. Fucking geeks and fanboys have gotten worse over the last decade. Nothing is good enough anymore. Meh. Oh well, fuck 'em. As long as you guys like my movies, that's all I'll care about.
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I read your reviews at Mav's site the other day. Great stuff sir!
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Your movie about Zombie Hunters was great. If you wouldn't consider pursuing a film career after that, especially what Romero said about your work, I would be disappointed in you. Create all you can!
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I should hopefully be finishing up my reviews later today. I began all of them, and they just need a few more comments, and then some editing. When I finish shall I send them to you, or should I still send them to Jonah?
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Cool Send them to me I'll combine it with mine. I think we should wait till Monday to post it.
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I really appreciate that. I'm still pursuing a career, writing more scripts and planning to shoot a quick short in the next few weeks and a more complicated one in the fall. I've never had second thoughts and don't foresee me having any. I'm a filmmaker and will continue to be one. Its just funny, knowing that inevitably, being a geek isn't good enough (for here), and there will be backlash at AICN (bc there always is), a place I've considered an internet home of sorts for so long. PS: I sent "Zombie Hunters" off to the FantasicFest in Austin (that gets covered here so much). Hopefully we'll get in!
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Link to your movie. NOW.
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Hey, let's rush X-men 4 and have D.Vader direct it! Figure I'd start getting you used to it since you are pursuing that biz.Fuck, this day has dragged.
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Might I suggest a dose of Everclear to get the birthday party started?
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Breaking Bad should be mandated viewing to all.
That opening scene of the car jumping up and down in the sand with the flashes of thrown away toys and background were tops. -
Chitty-thanks dude. Go over to Mavra and check out my 30 days of horror thing. Have three up there now that you will get a kick out of. I know you are monster lover so I wanted to see if you had caught any of those. I was going for obscure. I'd love to hear your thoughts on my george c. scott piece.
M-Blitz-yes, sadly, I do mean the very same Senator. It closed it's door as far as first run films go after Watchmen. It's been a sort of head just above water basis for years now. Kiefauber just cant keep it open anymore and the bank is in the midst of foreclosure. I'm hoping to get my own film blog up and running soon, and I'll have plenty coverage of it, as well as other B-more stuff. The Maryland film festival is coming up, and I'm hoping to get some interviews and catch some films there.
Vader-I understand your position. I've been working for years in developing childrens books and novels, etc. Had a small success once, and then became nervous about ever following it up. I'm working hard now to make that happen, and I think at some level you just ignore what people are saying and create. Take criticism, but seriously, you want the approval of the people here? Just tape a 20 to the top of the dvd case when you send it along. Just kidding guys! Harry's good reviews are motivated by money! Send an unopened pack of original Thunderbirds trading cards and then you will get a good review.
Seriously, even the most well written critic here has vassilating and unpredictable tastes. Mori loved The Poughkeepsie Tapes(no, we will NOT forget), Capone was side-swiped by Paris Hilton and Repo! There isnt a formula to please these people, save for slavishly appealing to their inner geek, and eventually they would criticize you for even that. It's not just AICN. It's everywhere you turn.
But when those nasty critics roll up and tap the back of your favorite head against a wall and tell you haven't paid your dues, just remember what our old pal George C. Scott said: "REMEMBER THESE WORDS AND LIVE BY THEM. SCREW 'EM!!!"
Vader, your film was good. Even ol' washed up Romero could see that. Keep working. What you got cooking? If you want a collaborative screenwriter just send a carrier pidgeon with a note and I'll leave my rooftop bungalow to offer my services.
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Harry's reviews ARENT motivated by money.
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thanks so much for your wishes over on facebook. My wife was asking who you were. I told her you were a spy for the government-the Malaysian government.
Fu, thanks as well. Check out the newest horror review from today. It's one crazy movie. Also, Kung, did you ever see the movie Jade Warrior? I think you would dig it lots. -
http://tinyurl.com/dmhca7 And thanks for the preemptive online beating, Pillow. The thing is, though, if offered, I'd totally take that job =).
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Yes I saw your items over Jonah and I must say great work.
I totally forgot about the exploding yellow sleeping bag scene.
It reminds me of when films would actually let kids be attacked.
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through zhura and I'll send you an invite to make it easy(for Mavra I mean). So, Chitty, did you ever see The Pit?
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Yeah I'm not too fazed by the AICN editors. I'm sure they wouldn't call Gavin Hood a hack for Wolverine's failure after he made Tsotsi. Its the Talkbackers I meant, specifically. I feel like AICN and the people here used to have their finger on the "hot button" as far as what our geek community likes and dislikes, but over the past decade its gotten a bit out of control. So you've had some small success writing? Excellent? Was it a children's book, and was it published? I'm very interested in that. Been working on 2 different children's book ideas since I got out of college. Good luck to you on that! And once I've got some scripts and outlines in a small amount of working order, I just may send that pigeon over =).
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it was so long ago I would have to watch it again.
I do remember that kid getting some revenge or something by letting the beasties have ago at them in that pit in the woods.
I do remember treading lightly when I went into the woods behind my house after that.
Those movies scared me, but I could not turn away for some reason. -
Say what you will about it, that film had no qualms about killing a kid. Or having that kid watch his father's arm melt off.
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Don't know why I put in a "?".
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the minute Harry opened the flood gates of Talkback in 1998, around the time Godzilla released, people started leaping on him with their fists flying, and on everything in a nearby vicinity. The Truman Show-too slow, crappy, wah!! Spielberg, Lucas, and every other director was eviscerated, over and over. You see, having access to AICN talkbacks is like being able to hear everybodys thoughts all at once and you just walked into a mental hospital.
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Go look up my review, and get your memory refreshed. I had a ball writing that one, and I posted a pic at the bottom. You are now the second person Ive found who saw it. You are truly a schlockmaster.
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the best thing is still just to go out and make the best movie possible and be ORIGINAL, even when you are adapting someones work. The stuff that survives and endures usually does so because it wasnt disappointing someone's beloved memories to the point they had to throw their coinciding thematic lunch box away.
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There also was a B-Horror movie called Grizzly, in which a kid was playing the yard and the bear attacked it.
It just showed the kid's legs dangling and the mother ran out with a broom to stop the grizzly. That's right, a fucking broom to slap at a grizzly. -
Was the reason I found out about this site. I was SO pumped for that movie. But I ended up moving the summer it came out and almost missed it in theaters. Luckily I was in England and caught like the one showing a day of a movie almost out of theaters showing of it. Loved every second, saw it by myself as well.
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The opening scenes of when he came into New York were actually done well.
I just wished he would have breathed fire and been the agressive monster I remember.
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Featuring the giant furry bear-paw of DOOM.
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No prophecy though.
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the only one who hasn't gone out on the slosh.Very. Poor. Show.
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Weird at the cinema - the credits rolled, the audience got up to go and folk were fairly silent. Except two people who started clapping, not being sarcastic, genuinely enthused. Everyone kind of stopped to stare at them, it was surreal. I didn't stop, way too busy exiting to make last orders in the pub!The thing I remember about going to see Godzilla was the opening credits, being knocked back into my seat by David Arnold's music cue. The rest of the movie passed me by. It was okay...
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That Observe and Report review makes me want to punch someone in the face.
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Hopefully my first issues of a webcomic will be up within the next two weeks.
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nobody around today
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Whats popping.
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What a bizarre ending.
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And in my opinion, while the ending was obviously rushed, they managed to make it work and be really funny. Corny, but funny. I am considering getting the series on DVD when it comes out.
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I wonder if the ending was always planned that way or what? I'd like to see a lil DVD commentary on it.....can't say the same for this Dollhouse shindig though.
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No-one is responding to anything really round here. So there's no incentive to stay around.
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Watched it last night (after a week's worth of other shit getting in the way). Surprisingly, I loved it. I loved the concept from the very beginning, but I thought the trailer was really lame, too jokey and full of references.
Actually, there is a lot of humor in it, but it doesn't get in the way of things and feels organic. What shocked me, though, was that it was genuinely tense and creepy at times -- the fake dead bodies being particularly eerie. It's fucking gory as hell, too, but not in that TP way.
No noo-diddy in it, though -- not even from the hot chick who jumps the guy on the toilet right after he takes a shit. Eew. -
Like what? Money? Fast cars? Fast women? Got none of those (except for your not-so-secret voice admirer). What about cookies? I could get you cookies.
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I'm still determined to see it, though, like with [REC], I may be one of the last people in the free world to do so. Patience my precious, patience.
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Some PRICKS woke me up early by talking loudly in the hall. Ergo, I post here, annoyed.
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http://tinyurl.com/c34ffx - Issue 9, my first published webcomic, is online!
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Nothing like a little comic book superhero style romancing early in the morning (although I was hoping to see the divacide...I'm just that sort of person). Your comic is very cool!
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I want to apologize for what I did to you. I had no idea that it would have the effect of turning you into a ...a...Republican. You poor, poor thing. I've talked to Dirk and he says that he can get you some new balls to replace the Al Franken ones. These previously belonged to a little old yak in Uzbekistan who only used them in church on Sundays. Supposed to be in near mint condition (or maybe he used mint-scented conditioner on them...not quite sure if that translated properly). By the way, I want to let you know that I had a real blast with your "donation". Thanks! They were fun right on up through the big boom. Can't say if my, um, friend enjoyed the fireworks as much as I did, but then my face was a little further away from ground zero than his was. Those were so much fun that I was wondering if you have any friends with more of those H.E. collectiballs that I might be able to persuade into contributing? I have all sorts of new and improved restructuring to do. Ta-ta.
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Yatta. Although it is odd to see Mavra putting us all to shame posting wise.
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Not a laugh-out-loud riot. The ads are misleading and I felt like Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig were a bit underused. But they were never over the top. Its a sweet story but not really a comedy. Kristen Stewart was extremely fuckable in it, though. Made me almost *almost* want to see Twilight just for her. But then I remembered I didn't find her attractive in any of the ads for that film.
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I don't subscribe to NetFlix or anything like that, and VisArt, a great little chain that has TONS of indie and foreign films doesn't carry it! I was completely let down to discover they didn't have a DVD for it. Though I guess there's never been a Western release for [REC]- am I right?
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One of the most interesting things I've seen on this site in awhile. The talkbackers are storming the castle with torches and pitchforks. Mori and Harry are trying to fight back, but are retreating to the rooftops. Viva la Revolucion!!!
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How goes?
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I ended up seeing it on YouTube, of all places. Almost everyone here (except for Chipps and myself), I believe saw it one weekend that it was available (I forget exactly what the reason for it being viewable was, but it was for a limited time and Chipps and I missed out). I actually made my backup screen name here "REC-less", if that tells you anything. :)
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I've got some errands to do and then I'm going back to sleep. I'm wiped out! Have fun guys. Fight the good fight!
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I'm celebrating the release of the webcomic with beer. As for [REC], Quarrantine SUCKED ASS. I really want to watch the original, good version.
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Uh... bye!
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Did you do all of these? (at your webcomic now)
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The lettering is off, apparently. But I am drinking beer. The Quarrantine hate is from weeks ago.
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I'm a very late late person when it comes to paying bills on time. I got my car insurance bill from my dad when I was at his house a few months ago. I stuck it in my bag and forgot about it. The money was due in january. Well, I just cut the check this week and mailed it off yesterday. But today my dad got a letter from the city saying that bc my insurance had lapsed, I need to surrender my car tag and pay a ticket and yadda yadda yadda. So now I have to wait until monday to see if, when the insurance company gets my check for $1000, they can reinstate my policy- and I can pay my ticket and keep my tag- without having to start over with a NEW insurance policy and go through the process of applying for a new car tag. Sucks.
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I'll be praying that they accept the cash. Might not be official policy, but I'd like to think people can avoid being gigantic tits every once in a while.
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I mean, did you write them or do the art? And which ones?
I just read number 1 and I liked it (I know it linked to #9, but I always have to start at the beginning, know what I mean?) -
Especially since I pay for the whole year instead of in monthly increments. I just give them the buttload of cash upfront. I hope that counts for something.
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I co-wrote Issue 9. Wrote 10/11 solo.
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Should do. I can't see it being an issue, unless they're gigantic croutons.
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Nice one.
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It's light, but tasty. I'm sure I'll take shit for that on Monday. But it's a celebration.
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that was crazy! I'll look forward to your solo efforts...when's the next one due out?
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Beyond monthly 'how goes?' e-mails, I'm not hardcore in the loop.
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...to pepper you with questions.....but on account of the Bud Light, I will refrain and simply say congrats!
I do wish you'd reward yourself with better beer, though. C'mon, man, you deserve it! -
I don't like how in the trailer during Bill Haders big scene with the horse races that in the background none of the horses are even moving??? Was it too hard to actually cut together a race with Bill? Watching another Hader gem right now, The Scorpion King.
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Hah - touche. I'm only on my second beer, so I can answer some questions. I think. Bill Hader? Yeah, the guy is hit and miss for me. Sometimes he's funny, sometimes I wish they'd stop letting him goof around.
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That was two posts in one.
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he was good in that
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See, I have to track that film down. The title is insane.
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youtube it.
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I shall, soon.
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around here....Seriously, Zeddemore, web comics, reviews, watching movies, bud light, posting here. I hope "multi-tasking master" is on your resume.
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But it should be. No... to be fair, I'm quite lazy. It's just that my stuff is always uploaded in close proximity.
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I Love You, Man....Liked the gayness of the first half, then i got bored. Didn't catch the very end.
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I like JS, I like PR, but that film looks incomplete to me.
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it seemed to fall apart after the initial conflict was resolved....resolution of further conflict seemed forced and artificial....and boring. I was pleasantly surprised at the start, and then as the movie went along, found myself asking "why did i think putting this on was a good idea?"
Maybe the end would've pulled it together somehow....My viewing was interrupted and I felt no qualms about turning it off, despite having about 8 or so minutes to go. Which is very unusual for me. -
If anybody's bored (and has a sense of humor regarding the intersection of Christianity and commerce)...amusing book review.
http://tinyurl.com/cq735s -
People, people, PEOPLE! Surely you have region-free, PAL/NTSC setups at home? What's thepoint of being a movie geek if you let puny region codes get in your way? I have a Swedish, R2, 2-disc PAL edition of [Rec] and I also order discs from all over the world if I have to. These days it's quite simple and hassle-free.
Free your movie-viewing from region codes and go PAL/NTSC and before you know it you'll be watching all kinds of cool shit at home -- including Dead Snow. -
I could've sent you the DVD of [REC] - should've thought of that at the time, sorry... Providing your player is region-free that is. If not, then you should pay attention to the good Doctor.
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Newsmakers looks like a decent flick. Wish these trailers would have English subtitles. Or perhaps I should make the effort to learn another language. Mind you, Russian sounds difficult. It's all - "Brudniss-nyenya!" In fact it's not far removed from Klingon.Sorry to any Russian TB'ers reading this.
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Bloody awful cover of 'Fly Me To The Moon' turned me off from the start! Is that what they call "R 'n' B" nowadays? How did they manage to steal that term from 'Rhythm & Blues'? Someone should steal it back. Invent yer own term for that cack, you vapid twats!To be fair, some of the visuals for Eva 2.0 are impressive and I wouldn't mind having a proper look. Trailer hamstrung by that abominable choon though. Change it.
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I must say, these days it seems slightly bereft of TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION.
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I love this mic.
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Check out the Mutants trailer - possibilty of "Total Fucking Destruction" in that one.That said, with your arrival, Twitch catagorically now has Total Fucking Destruction! In capitals as well, obviously.
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Gigolo Joe from A.I. - Chinese version! Hurry up and complete the "half finished" special effects so that I can decide whether or not I'm keen on seeing Cyborg. Not sold at the moment.
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I'm scared. Looks good. Sure I've seen a clip of this somewhere else and I wasn't all that impressed, full of obvious scares and whatnot. I'm impressed now. Nice photography. Red hoodie - shades of Don't Look Now.
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i look forward to shoving those underscores so far up your ass that you'll be singing to whatever tune i deem worthy of TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION.
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Looks fookin top! Owes a bit to 28 Days Later. In fact, one part of the trailer looks suspiciously like an alternative unshot ending for 28 Days Later. Was there an animated version - to show how it would've played? Basically, dude gets locked in a (hospital) room - girl waiting outside to see the outcome (of treatment).I've probably mis-recalled the whole thing. But I thought of that discarded ending very soon into the Mutants trailer.
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You have an impostor?Disgraceful. Is nothing sacred?
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I completely missed those underscores first time around.Muchos apologerios to the real TFD.
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Did you recieve my email?
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Let it begin.
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While it was a traumatic experience to wake up de-balled, de-testicled, and suffering from the after effects of a well placed baseball bat upside the upper left quadrant of my skull. Without a doubt the worst experience was discovering that I had become a Republican because I now lacked testicular fortitude. That was shameful and embarrassing. My dog wouldn't even piss on me after that - and that was his second favorite past time after licking his balls and taking a shit on newly mowed grass. As for your generous albeit dubious offer of replacing my manly, Marine trained, locked and loaded High Explosive balls, with some from a hairless, toothless mountain yak, I would sooner trust a rabid, foaming at the mouth, three-legged, half-blind, bad-breathed, arthritic Bandicoot to perform open heart surgery on me, before I trusted you or Dirk.
As for the poor bastard who got his face blown off after giving your nipples a spit shine, fuck him! He was warned. You might start seeing stories in the news about large men who woke up suddenly testicular challenged(as the search for the perfect replacement jewels continues) - but ya can't prove it was me who done it! -
Still the greatest screen handle of them all!
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Apr 05, 2009 12:09:16 AM CDT
Actually the one with underscores is the original.....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....the imposter is the guy without 'em. He's been around for awhile though, a little over 2 years. Both of them have been around for awhile.
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Yeah first off who the fuck is the bad Phoenix? Because according to Twilight, we left Phoenix. As for Twilight, it really was not as bad as I was thinking it was going to be. It was like a good episode of Smallville, in fact a lot of it reminded me of the original Superman movie. I mean supernatural guy woos a girl who doesn't understand it all but accepts his prowless, and fights a midicore baddie. Though I can't believe that ILM did the special effects, that must've been the 4AM-8AM shift or something. I mean I went in expecting the worst and I got ok. Me lady lass actually liked it. I think the thing that saves it are the leads, they worked. They weren't annoying as fuck and they didn't look like they were 30 year olds playing high school (Eric Christian Olsen). Also I thought the Bond joke was funny considering the outcome, I don't know if that was in the book or what but it was funny. I mean I think overall I liked it better the QoS. I can't recommend it and I feel like my view is extremely jaded seeing that I have seen into the eyes of the AntiChrist and its name is Marley And Me. So really after that most movies seem good.
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Is that they were the band on SNL tonight. Which all things considering the first appearance of Sethery Rogan like...a couple months ago on SNL or something which was god fucking awful. This episode had its moments. The digital short was new unless you've listen to the song a million times in your car like someone like myself. But the show was ok except for Phoenix? Who the fuck are Phoenix? I don't care if you know who they are, good for you. Now I have not had my ear to the ground with music since it pretty much as shit the bed as of recent but I keep it close enough to hear of up and coming bands. I know who ever is in charge of hiring bands for SNL has got that college indie douche bag vibe about him, because they get bands that only fags so cool that they don't conform to conventional norms unless they're hipster trend mag/blog/book/bible tells them to. Now I've at least heard of the bands that have been on SNL since they decided to stop trying to get name bands, but seriously who the fuck is Phoenix? And when did SNL becoming like the next step in music after getting Carson Daly to notice you. SNL used to be a great platform for great bands to play, now its some indie hipster place for these bands that may go past one cd but two max. Its just fucking lame and sad. Seth Rogan right now anyway is a pretty big name so why couldn't they get a band that was half as well known.
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Apr 05, 2009 3:11:53 AM CDT
a band that is know and has more than 2 albums? Like U2?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
FUCK THAT. AND FUCK THEM. May they perish Ritchie Valens style. The Edge needs to take it to the edge and blow his motherfucking face off with Cobain's shotgun in the Smithsonian.
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How do, sirs and madams?
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I just got home. LMFAO at Toad. Gotta love that guy!
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Aye - Toad's a solid chap.
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"Rabid, foaming at the mouth, three-legged, half-blind, bad-breathed, arthritic Bandicoot" like it's a bad thing. I've actually been called worse. :)
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Will you have as easy a time getting as close to your targets as I do? You may need more than one case of that ale.
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The new mic is awesome. Tested it out on a video blog. So kickass in quality.
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I can have a conversation with you here and one with Xiphos at the latest "Hot Wind, Cool Breeze" at the same time. I do love these Interwebs.
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Which ones? ALL OF THEM.
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When do we get to hear it?
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I could do a review of something today, I'm just not sure what.
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You can just give a rant or a rave, if you like. No need to go to extra trouble just to humor me.
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It isn't like we're formal, you know.
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http://tinyurl.com/c847a8 - yesterdays Video Blog
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Just to move us up a notch.
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Are you an endangered species? Just curious.
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Booyah!
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Herb has a question for you.
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My plan is simple. I will dress the pooch up as a voluptuous blonde, then turn him loose on a bar full of drunken mill workers. One is bound to be smitten, and will follow that twitching tail outside to a dark alley, where I will be waiting and BLAMMO! New set of family jewels.
Toadkillers are indeed and endangered species - and your little whack job did not help matters one bit! -
I've been around a lot longer than two years. more like since the very beginning. and do you really think i need underscores to spell my own name? stupid dink.open wide and receive a hot load of TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION.
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I had nothing to do with the, uh, encounter that you and Ms. Chang had that resulted in your uh, Unfortunate Testicular Condition. So please refrain from dragging my good name through the mud. By the way, mountain yaks are not hairless, toothless maybe, but they got big hairy cojones - you could do worse! And if you didn't like em, you could always fry em up! Mountain oysters!
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I take a certain responsibility for your current unhinged mental state, afterall I did dump you - twice. But in my defense that popcorn kernel had a bodacious tushie! Still, I did not think you would become dee-ranged and start hacking off male reproductive body parts in order to pad your chestal region. I have no use for female Chesty bumps, so I never understood the fascination that humans have for them. But it can not be worth the mayhem and destruction you have left in your wake to acquire them.
Please stop the senslessness my little qumquat. If you need a pseudopod to lean on, just call me. You know how to get me. Just put your lips together and blow.
Yours,
Dirky -
In my defense, I think I get better use out of them than many of their previous handlers. I realize that I can never compete with the buttery and salty goodness that is popcorn, so I must make my own path, even if it is strewn with emptied bottles of ale and the stickiness of many necessary bandages. In the words of the late, great Anthony Burgess, "What I do I do because I like to do." You say mayhem and destruction like it's a bad thing.
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I know. I'm just fucking with you.
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Perfume- Hoestly, one of the weirdest movies I have seen in while. The ending really is pretty nuts.Scanner Darkly- I didn't actually get to finish this because the DVD didn't work that well (damn you Blockbuster) but what I saw, I liked a lot. The cast is great. Even Keaneu Reeves works in the role he plays. Plus, you get to see a fucked up Woody Harrelson eating up the screen. The rotoscope animation style really works for this kind of drug story too.
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But the fucking DVD didn't work for that one either, and he was just beating the main bad guy.
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I think everyone is on MyMavra posting comments.
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Is a great translation of the book. There is a middle section of the book where the main guy lives in a cave for 7 years just eating bugs trying rid himself of smell. Its really boring, good thing they cut it. Though the book is a really good read. I need to go back and re watch the movie.
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I hope you are all to busy watching Breaking Bad because there will be a quiz in the morning.
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Friday night stand up on Comedy Central? John Mulaney was on, he is on Best Week Ever all the time and has popped in a couple of times in the past couple of SnL's. He usually is annoying, but he had this joke about Tom Jones playing over and over again that had me rolling. Only because I'm a huge TJ fan.
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We need Jarv to keep the morning shift ticking over.Morning, all who are here.
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Who Killed The Electric Car? - Interesting.Infernal Affairs III - Just as boring and pointless as Infernal Affairs II.Splinter - Not bad, but hated the shaky-cam stuff. I really have had enough of that fad.Kung Fu Hustle - Still great. About the fifth time I've seen it and it never gets old.Wanted - Awful in just about every way possible. Also, I am convinced it was written by a twelve year old boy who will grow up to be serial killer.What's that? 5? That puts me at 125 for the year.
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I am, to say the least, pissed off. Apparently, the post woman left a stack of three or four packages ON THE DOORSTEP OUTSIDE MY FLAT, and when you consider I live in an area rife with junkies it's no surprise they were stolen.I kicked up merry hell down the post office. They're looking into it, but fuck knows what'll come of that.The Amazon and Play stuff is eaily replaced, but if those junkie fucks stole my care package from HOD I will not be happy. A guy goes out of his way to do something genuinely nice and it gets ruined by a lazy fucking post woman and a scumbag junkie? The world sucks sometimes. Makes me want to break things.
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Who in this day and age (and country!) leave packages on a doorstep? Bullshit. I boozed away most of the weekend, which probably wasn't the wisest move in the world because I'm still feeling just as ratshit as I was last week. Watched most of, but need to finish Into The Wild. Also watched a couple of episodes of The Wire. And got majorly pissed off at the soccer. Because my pre-game prediction came true and Fulham (my team) managed to lose to Liverpool in extra time. And got out on saturday and enjoyed some rare sunshine.
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The thing that bugged me most was when I told the guy at the post office which route I was on and he went, "Oh, yeah, her," like this cow has a history of doing this kind of thing and they know about it.What the fuck is that about?P.S. I wish I had boozed away the weekend. In retrospect, that would have been the smart move.
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I'm thoroughly enjoying re-watching it. I'm five episodes in, and it's a slightly different experience seeing it knowing who all the characters are and what ends up happening to them.It boggles my mind that this show was so great right from the start, but it went on (especially during season 3) to get even better.I've got to take my hat off to that David Simon. That guy is a great writer.
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Every review of it I've seen has said it's shit, yet it makes $72m in it's opening weekend? Ridiculous.
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A friend of mine, The Fast & The Furious is his favourite film. His FAVOURITE film. He loves it. I kind of liked the first one as a guilty pleasure, but there are a lot of people out there who can't enough of those films.It's a car thing, I think. People love those tacky souped-up cars.
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I just rewatched the pilot episode and then the 2nd. It is good stuff.
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It's false machismo was embarrasing. That moment where Diesel screams in some lackeys face "Yo embawasing me!". Pathetic. Not to mention it was a ripoff of Point Break, sans The Busey. The sequels I found amusingly moronic. And the third one has that kid from American Gothic and Sling Blade.
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I can go along with that. I wasn't too keen on the second one, because I can't stand Paul Walker and it didn't have Vin Diesel to balance things out. It had that Tyrese guy instead, and he's maybe even worse than Walker.The third one I don't remember too well, although I like that Lucas Black guy. He's a good actor (shitloads better than Walker). He should do more stuff, but I think I read somewhere he doesn't like acting and only does the occasional film here and there strictly for the money.
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What a fucking hateful film. I couldn't stand that Nightwatch garbage, but this was even worse.Some loser asshole joins a gang of murderous sociopaths and we're supposed to enjoy watching this idiot go around shooting people in 'cool' ways and causing casual and rampant carnage wherever he goes? Fuck that. Then they try to have their cake and eat it by flipping it around and saying, "It's okay, they were bad guys all along; now watch and enjoy as the 'hero' goes on another murderous rampage where he kills any poor bastard in his way (regardless of whether they're good or bad) and also explodes a bunch of rats". I say again, Fuck that.And how can you make a film where Angelina Jolie does not look hot? She looked like she had recently died in that film.I only watched it because Blockbuster didn't have The Warlords. Stupid Blockbuster.
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Those are le grande francais spoilers, I reckon.
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Yeah, I watched it at the cinema. I found the level of violence in it particularly off-putting. Maybe it's not the level of violence, but the way the violence is presented. It's really nasty, bordering on sadistic. Not fun in any way. I haven't seen those Nightwatch movies. Wanted didn't inspire me to.
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John McClane does all sorts of violence, but you're on his side because you like the character and you know he's a decent guy trying to do the right thing, ie: save his wife and other innocent civilians while stopping the clearly defined bad guys from doing whatever naughty business it is they're up to.Wanted was about some fucking loser douche (who won't even break up with his bird when he KNOWS she's fucking someone else) improving his life and becoming more confident and powerful by killing people in preposterous and cartoony ways because he was told to by Morgan Freeman and a fucking LOOM. A LOOM!I have to stop thinking about Wanted now. It's making me too angry. I can't be this angry at the start of the week.
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Apr 06, 2009 5:15:11 AM CDT
And I haven't even said anything about Jade Goody's funeral
by franklin t marmoset
No way. Not going there.
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I haven't seen anything about it. I only realised it happened when someone at work mentioned it this morning. I have zero interest in that type of thing.
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I was watching the news on Saturday morning and I saw they were televising the funeral live!They had a priest of some sort describing her beatific face as she prayed to God, comforted by the knowledge she was surely abouot to go to heaven! A priest!I had to turn it off after about five minutes because my precious telly was about to get chucked out the window.Fuck's sake.
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I am doing way too much ranting and swearing this morning.I will try to be funnier this afternoon.
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Apart from the violence, the particularly annoying thing about it is it's moronically simplistic 'if you work in an office you're a loser, but if you are an assassin you're super-cool' storyline. Those types of storylines are only good if the individual who is 'stuck in a boring 9-5 job' actually has a specific dream job which he secretly covets. The spineless coward in the movie didn't have enough brainpower to keep a lightbulb running let alone have a specific dream. Which is why the only way to get him out of that existence was to thrust a sexy, dangerous femme fatal type on him and force him to change. It's infantile shit.
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And that last line? Where he looks into the camera and says, "What the fuck have you done lately?" I almost put my foot through the telly!What am I, an asshole for doing a job and not running about killing people in a way that is like The Matrix but with even less emotional maturity? Fuck. You.
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Fuck, this is no good. Too much Yin energy today.Maybe a delicious baguette will sort me out.
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A non-prescription mood altering substance. I could use one of those.
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Mmmmm... Smoked ham, tomato and mustard mayonnaise. Pretty good for me.
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I see that someone has spray painted on the side of a building JAMES 4 FRANKIE, and I am wondering to myself, "Who is this James, and why is he making his affections known to me in this way? Why not write me a letter or buy me a delicious non-presecription baguette or something?"Clearly, this guy has read my Gilmore Girls posts and reckons I'm up for some man on man action. I'm not, but I do appreciate the compliment.
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I have exhausted Blockbuster's supply of Asian films, and with 4 out of the 6 Once Upon A Time In Chinas and whatever HOD was able to send to me now missing presumed nicked, I am out of options.Looks like Rocky might get called up as a last minute substitute. Or I might read a book or something. Or take up bird watching.
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But you could do worse than having the Rocky-thon as a fall back.
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I reckon I'll make it a daily thing and start with the first Rocky tonight.That reminds me, I wonder if Mr Z did his drunken Rocky challenge? I bet he didn't. I bet he chickened out.Do you hear me, Mr Z? I reckon you chickened out! Where are you? Daredevil is shit!!
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I also watched this weekend the extended version of Fantastic Four, but I haven't put it on the list since I've already watched the shorter version this year.They had it by the till up Morrisons for £2.99, so of course I'm sucker enough to buy it. On the box, it said "Extra 20 minutes of action and thrills!", but it should have said "Extra 20 minutes of second act character stuff that slows the film down badly!"Also, there's a scene of Alba and that guy discussing their relationship in a planetarium followed by what is obviously a reshoot scene that contains much of the same information. It's pretty shoddily assembled.In conclusion, all those of you who were about to rush out and get the longer F4 for £2.99, don't bother.
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Biggest let down of last year. I made the mistake of reading the comic shortly before viewing the movie only to find out that it really isn't based on the comic. They just have the same title.
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If you aren't opposed to watching streaming stuff..theres www.asian-horror-movies.com. They have a huge selection of asian films, and while most are horror, theres enough good asian stuff on there I could keep you in stock with recommendations for awhile.
Start first with Survive Style 5+. It's not horror, but it is amazingly insane. -
Apr 06, 2009 8:47:18 AM CDT
I was just reading throught that Wolverine TB
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
They dropped the ban hammer again? And on WNB? The guy was a dick, but no more than most of the other dicks who populate the talkbacks. They're way too fucking liberal with the hammer these days.
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Unfortunately, I'm too lazy and old fashioned to have the internets at home, so I'll have to give that a miss. Which is a shame because ASIAN FILMS + FREE STUFF is a combination I would very much enjoy right now.Those thieves and that post woman have really taken the wind out of my sails.
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I don't understand it. In the wolvie TB, freakin' Moriarty comes back just to make juvenile comments, spout hypocrisy, insult people and then he starts whining about the state of people in TBs, etc. Once he goes and incites people, then people start getting banned..most times for no more than harry or co. were saying themselves. They really should take the high ground and stay out of there if they are also going to start banning people. Otherwise, it's like getting into a fight and then when it's not going your way, you call mom and dad have them throw the kid off your property. Lame.
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What's more uplifting than watching Rocky? Not much.Watching Rocky while getting a blow job, maybe. Or watching Rocky while getting a blow job and eating a 9 inch stuffed crust meaty one. That's all kind of uplifting right there.
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"Watching Rocky getting a blow job and eating a 9 inch stuffed crust meaty one." Bring on Rocky 7!
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That'll be the one where Stallone finally says, "Fuck this, I'm not getting in shape anymore. Let's just film me eating pizza and getting blown. That's what ageing ex-boxers do, anyway, so why not make a film about it?"He could get Darren Aronofsky to direct, make it good and depressing. At the end, Rocky dies on his bathroom floor in a puddle of his own filth.
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Apr 06, 2009 9:17:28 AM CDT
And if anyone deserves a good rimjob...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
and mighty meaty combo it's Rock. I have a sneaking suspicion ol' Adrian wasn't exactly a hose hound.
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Go read the comic strip. It's a god awful piece of demented nihilistic fanboy wish fullfillment. It's yet another reason why the ultra nerdy, super loser funnystrip loving fanboys should be marginailized and never ever listen to.
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While watching Wanted, I was kind of worried that I was suffering from old man's disease and this new music is just noise and blah blah blah. You know, like maybe I was offended by it because I'm not down with the kids and whatnot.It's good to know other people thought that not only did it suck balls but was also possibly the product of a disturbed mind (and not a good disturbed mind like Cronenberg or Lynch; a crap disturbed mind like a kid who plays too much X-Box and thinks dead dogs are funny).
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Fuck, I enjoyed it. Does it have depth? A point? Morals? No. But it was fun.
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I thought Night Watch was fucking atrocious.
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Red Son was shit.
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As I write webcomics that aren't shit. Or if they are, they're not moronic and patronising shit.
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That he tries to write something with depth... but Batman is not a fucking terrorist. Not even in alternate whacky land.
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I reported my stolen DVD to them this morning; those magnificent bastards have already processed a new order for me, no questions asked.Amazon: COOL.Did the same with Play, I have to wait 21 days for them to investigate or somesuch.Play: NOT SO COOL.I have today become a much more loyal Amazon customer.
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That sounded like such a cool premise.
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I hope not. Dead dogs are not funny. Dead dogs are sad.Unless it's Cujo, in which case it's still not funny but probably a good thing for everyone who lives anywhere near Cujo. Same goes for those zombie dogs out of Resident Evil.
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I never said 'funny', I said 'fun.' As in I enjoyed it. I didn't laugh at the violence, it just didn't affect me because it was such a ridiculously dumb and nihilistic film that I couldn't take it particularly seriously. Just like how in Con Air, I enjoy it despite the fact that it's filled with unlikeable scumbags.
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Apr 06, 2009 11:10:56 AM CDT
Con Air is a load of shit from start to finish
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
"I said, put the bunny down."
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It does have Dave Chappelle in it at the Falling Corpse of Doom.
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But yet one must watch at least some of it when it's on.Speaking of Nic...caught the very end of Ghostrider. Sigh...talk about a comic book movie with no action in it...not even bad action.Just stare into their soul and that's it. Perhaps Ghostrider was missing a stuffed bunny? Or a playmate type bunny? Or Eva just whipping out her funbags for a bit?
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talks shit about Con Air on my watch. One of my all time favorite guilty pleasures. Fucking excellent from start to finish. Cage's completely accurate and believable accent. Malkovich in his most badass role. Danny Trejo getting his arm cut off. Colm Meaneys' car getting destroyed by being dragged by the plane. Excellent plane vs helicopter action. That creepy scene with Buscemi and that little girl. "How Will I live without you" playing during the end. Malkovich dying like 5 times at the end!!! Come on!!!!
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a guy is begging Malkovich for his life while gas is leaking behind him. So the guy says starts to beg again and says, "Sy!!" (which is Malkovichs' name) and then Malkovich says "Onara" and throws a cigarette into the gasoline burning the dude. Totally retarded yet....totally fucking awesome.
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I can't wait for tonight. But here's the funny thing: The bar that I've been going to- where all the UNC alumni go to watch the games... is coincidentally the same bar where all the local Michigan St fans go to watch their games. It was insane trying to park there 2 weeks ago when MSU beat Kansas and we beat gonzaga. I can't imagine what tonight is going to be like. But what a freaking coincidence. Both teams' alumni at the same bar for the championship. Its gonna be NUTS.
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1. The Bad Nic Cage Nuff said2. There is no way a jury in the south in the early 90's convicts a decorated veteran for defending his old lady. The set up is so mind boggeling stupid that it further ruins an already fuctarded movie.3. The worst reason, they had what's his face from Say Anything running around in motherfucking Jesus boots. Lead character wearing mandals=shit on the carpet, that's a proven theorum in both mathamatics and physics. Fucking jesus boots what the fuck! Dudes wearing mandals LOVE the cock.UNC will win by at least 12, as long as The Tar Heels don't fall into the trap of letting MSU dictate the pace of the game. Also, UNC needs to clear the glass way better then Uconn did. If they do that UNC will cruise to an easy victory since coaching is a push and UNC has way better athletes.It's opening day for BASEBALL! AMERICA FUCK YEAH!
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I thought was fucking awesome. My problem with Millar is that his comics on a whole are WAY to fucking short. Like I can read Wanted in the time it takes me to read a real single issue comic.
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(the comic) ISN'T just adolescent male power fantasies?
I've only flipped through Red Son at the comic book store, but the premise sounds great. -
No that was exactly what it was and it wasn't even THAT good.
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The Wanted comic while a fanboys wet dream, was well done. Just Millar brought up a bunch of shit and didn't go anywhere with half of it. Wanted could have been turned into a good series.
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Did everyone give up on Twich? That whole Wolverine TB is really interesting to read. Better then the usual trash.
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And Harry and Co's staunch stance against it all I can think about is this little movie called Fanboys that was force feed down our throats. A movie that celebrates stealing an illegal unfinished copy of Star Wars I. A movie which Harry endorsed. Now I know there may be more to the movie then that, but seeing that I think only Harry is the only person that saw it, all we get is from the trailer. SOOO I guess added to whatever happened with backdoor deal to see Star Wars II, I am guessing seeing illegal copies of Star Wars movies is ok, X-Men Movies not ok.
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You will get my reviews later tonight. This weekend turned out to be really busy. I never was home until about nine or ten every night, and by then I was exhausted.
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Sorry, can't contain my excitement. What a night!!!
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Well try to get it out before Thursday.
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Fletch and Samuel Beckett in the same episode of Chuck. This show is a lot of fun if you want something easy and funny. Seeing that I am like one of three people still posting here, anyone catch Breaking Bad? Awesome episode.
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Looks like we're on our last legs here.Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.
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I agree with droid that it's complete shit from start to finish, but for some reason that film is very enjoyable complete shit from start to finish.It's a self aware film that understands it's delivering deeply silly entertainment, whereas Wanted just reeked of unchecked adolescent power fantasies.
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Road Warrior the first one anyone. Was on tonight and for like the 100th time I only caught the last half hour. I need to just rent the damn thing since I've seen the end a million times. I always see something different in the end though, this time the exploding eyes.
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Apr 07, 2009 3:48:54 AM CDT
That last half hour is the only part worth seeing
by franklin t marmoset
All the preamble in Mad Max drags on and on and isn't that entertaining. Max goes on a picnic with his wife. It's not even a mad picnic or anything, just a regular picnic.And I remember those exploding eyes. The quick close up of what is obviously a dummy head having its eyes squeezed out? That was funny.
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Apr 07, 2009 3:52:50 AM CDT
I'm going to be fairly incomunicado today
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Which is a shame because we're sittin at 10 and i'd like to keep us in the Top 10
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Apr 07, 2009 3:55:33 AM CDT
To clarify, I've got a shitload of work to do this morning
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
and some bullshit luncheon this afternoon which I'm going to try to get out of due to my lingering sickliness.
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And not enjoyable at all. Hey, isn't it funny that we'll make you think Buscemi's going to kill a little girl. But look, it's only a goof because he didn't! Really nasty shit like that all the way through. It's the kind of stuff that ruined Bad Boys 2. Just general nastiness, like cadavers falling out the back of a van and getting run over during a car chase, and Smith and Co ploughing through a fucking shanty town in their bright yellow hummer. Bullshit like that just ruins an otherwise dumbhouse action flick. Except it bordered on perverse in Con Air. Every character except for a couple were extremely unlikable. And as Xi said, just because you were a marine doesn't mean you can't defend the life of yourself and your wife. So the whole initial setup is bullshit. Anyhoo, Con Air sucks the big one. But then I liked The Generals Daughter, which was made by the same guy and also had a mean streak to it. So go figure.
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Watched four more episodes last night. It's good stuff. I can see the appeal of it. The story seems to just unfold. It takes it's time. Good gradual character development. I like it.
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I may not be the Captain, but I plan on going down with this sinking ship, just like George Clooney in that film where George Clooney went down with a sinking ship!Glug glug and whatnot!
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Apr 07, 2009 4:33:54 AM CDT
The great thing about The Wire is the way it develops
by franklin t marmoset
By the time you're into season 3, you just can't stop watching because you're so locked in to all of those characters - good or bad.Also, the slow revelation of how ambitious it becomes - and the way it succeeds in every one of its ambitions - is amazing to watch. Seriously, the first season seems like relatively small potatoes once you see all the other plot threads they start layering in later in the series.
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Apr 07, 2009 4:36:39 AM CDT
I don't think the ship is sinking
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
It's just taking on a little water. We just gotta get in there with the buckets.
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...my Gilmore Girls season 1 DVD set arrived, safe and unstolen.Phew.Anyway, I watched the pilot last night and it was pretty damn good. It was nice to those charming and delightful Gilmores in action again, although the pilot seems to have been shot in a real small American town rather than the pretend American town they built on some backlot somehwere later. Luke's diner looked all different.
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Not a good episode, but it was called 'Criss Angel Is A Douchebag', which is a pretty great title for a television programme.
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Apr 07, 2009 4:41:15 AM CDT
Shit, it's hard to come up with stuff to talk about
by franklin t marmoset
I do not have enough buckets to bail out all of this water!Get the women and children and Billy Zane into the lifeboats!SOS! SOS! SOS!
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And I like the way they depict all the different departments and all the bulshit politics that goes on etc. Makes it much more interesting than if it were just some case they are working on.
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of all the different bad guys. Especially Steve Buscemi portrayed one of the most evil mofos you will ever see in cinema. Cage however has a degree in sucking.
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Each season has kind of a theme or perspective - 1 is the street-level stuff, 2 is the docks, 3 is politics, 4 is education and 5 is the media. They bring a shitload of politics into the show during season 3, but it's fascinating to watch. There are some great insights into how good ideas become compromised and/or hopelessly fucked up because of the various pressures of politics.
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I'll toss one out, just for the hell of it. In honor of Quint having seen the new Trek film, what/who was your all time favorite Star Trek character and why? Best I could do on a moment's notice.
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Jesus, this Twitter business is such a preposterous waste of everyone's time and energy I can hardly believe it actually exists.Just when you think no one can possibly sink to any new depths in terms of asinine entertainment formats, some asshole comes up with Twitter.Coming soon from the internet: Shitter, where you can go to a website and a comprehensive report on the shape, weight, texture and consistency of everyone's shit. A USB compatible toilet is required.
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Star Trek?Must we scrape the absolute bottom of the barrel while also sinking to the depths of Davey Jones' locker?I do appreciate you trying, though. Things are pretty bleak around here lately.
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Harry Mudd. I like villains, they make or break a show/movie. Harry Mudd was a scoundrel with flaws. He was also a good enough character to make a return appearance and Roger C. Carmel was hilarious in the role.
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There I go in with some bailing and y'all thrown on more water. Shame shame. :)
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...is Christian Slater, in whichever Star Trek film he was in for a few seconds.That was a hilariously jarring cameo. It's like he goes: "Hi, I'm Christian Slater. You may remember me from such films as Heathers and True Romance and Hollow Man 2. Now, back to Star Trek."
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You're right. Anyone with, um, a working bucket is greatly appreciated and that bucket should not be pooped in.
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And I have no idea what a Twitter is. And I have no interest in finding out. Actually, I've avoided finding out what it is. I've seen it mentioned more and more frequently. It took me years to even warm to Facebook. Fuck Twitter. As I have very little idea about ST, I'm hoping that the new movie (which i have decided to see based solely on one trailer, even despite fuckhead JJ) will be fun. That's all I care about. But even if it is, I don't care about previous incarnations of it. It just holds no interest for me.
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That you would like to see on film that hasn't yet made it to the big screen?
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I know it's not sci-fi, but it's a great book and I'd love to see the BBC do this thing as a massive miniseries with a decent budget and some good actors. Anyone here actually read it?
Frankie, how goes it? Good on you with the gilmore dvds.
The COC isn't sinking. It's AICN thats sinking. Most of the COC have relocated elsewhere. As a unit, we are still together in spirit, just not right here. Alot people aren't posting this week. Im sure it will be back to a decent force soon. -
You know all those weirdos who get all excited about Transformers and Speed Racer and whatnot? The ones who are so involved with their nostalgic memories of some crap they liked when they were a kid that they lose all critical faculties and act like gibbering lunatics?That would be me if they made a live action Battle Of The Planets film. I used to love that cartoon when I was a kid.Most likely, the film would turn out to be god-awful shit, but I would be damn excited about seeing that god-awful shit.
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Which movie coming this summer would you most like to see illegally upped to the internets right now?
Fox, I kid, I kid. -
I'd totally watch it as well, though somehow I see its chances of being made slim unless the Sci-Fi Channel runs out of Lance Henrikson bigfoot movies to show on saturday night.
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by Jerry Pournelle, Larry Niven and Steven Barnes. At this point, Beowulf has cinematically been done to death, but this would be the ultimate telling of it. Anyone here read it? The grendels are an integral part of the planet Avalon and when the human population start eradicating them, things go way, way loopy.
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It is magnificently titled Science Ninja Team Gatchaman and it's out next year.That's not bad, but I'd rather see the big budget Hollywood bastardised version of Battle Of The Planets starring Nicolas Cage or that douche out of High School Musical.
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I imagine the Science Ninja Team dress like regular ninjas, but all in white and with pocket protectors and glasses. They leap around their laboratory with great agility and grace, doing the splits and whatnot, hardly ever breaking any test tubes.
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Where have they relocated?Not that Ain't It Bale News, I hope. I tried to read it, but it's so fucking obnoxious. Not to mention, aren't we done with Christian Bale jokes by now?
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Apr 07, 2009 6:26:28 AM CDT
hey, change of pace...Met bullpen actually HELD a lead!
by just pillow talk
Too bad the 'O' still fucking sucks and strands runners like there's no tomorrow.
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I don't want to be seeing Jack twittering away there with the shakes. And Chesty Freckles should be jumping up and down more. Like all the time.
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Can't believe Uconn blew a big fucking egg against the Spartans. Fuck!
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Make it live action film, and have Mr. T on the team.
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CoC ain't ever going to die.Loved the UNC game last night.I think the Gatchaman CGI film will kick ass.Franklin, I'm going to try to completely redo the Aint It Bale site to make it more accessible to gentlemen like you so have some faith, brother.Also, I sent you an e-mail about an alternate address. If you don't have any friends or family you can trust then I'll just send a new movie kit to you but require a signature so that junkies can't swipe it off your doorstep.If I could have an advance copy of any summer movie I'd want Star Trek. All those sploogin' reviews have moved it to the top of my list.My dad's in town for two weeks so it's drinking and eating too much every night.
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Apr 07, 2009 8:17:53 AM CDT
I thought they were making a live action Battle of the Planets?
by xiphos_2
There would be nothing better then seeing a big goofy cheops making wierd speaking noises on screen and the space monkey. The plane/spaceship the fat guy flew that picked up everybody at the beginning of every episode was neato keen.
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They might have beat MSU. That spanking they got must have really hurt.
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is run jump and be soaking wet. I would predict the rating would grow by exponentially.
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The Nic Cage character in Con Air was a Army Ranger not Marine. You can tell this by the fact that in the flashback scene he was wearing black Beret. This was back in the day before all the Army wore stupid black berets like some fey European surrender force also known as the French.
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I don't know for sure whether yours was one of the packages that was stolen, but given that you sent it, what, a week or ten days ago (?) it's likely that it was.Fucking junkie assholes. They can't even sell it, but they nicked it anyway.I'll answer your e-mail as soon as I get the chance, but I reckon I'll have to decline your kind offer for the time being (which fucking sucks). I'm looking into other options since I've had other things go missing before and if I can't trust the postal people to do their jobs properly I might have to get a PO box or something.And maybe I was in a bad mood when I read Ain't It Bale. I have been in a bad mood this week.
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The new ads makes it seem like it might be some stupid fun, which is something lacking in most every Star trek movie and TV show.if we are talking about Sci Fi books made into movies I nominate teh Following:Ringworld by Larry NivenThe Well souls Series by Jack l.Chalker(right Mavra? I'm sort of surprised you didn't bring this up)The Horseclan books I know it's not "sci fi" technically but it's a cool series, mostly the early books.That it for now.
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But ACH! Work calls me away! But after my bowl of Trix...
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His mother was actually in charge of casting for that movie so he begged her to find him a bit part and waking up Sulu to alert him to whatever bad shit was happening was the best they could come up with.
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I'll check with the postal service to see what options are available to make sure they don't leave the package on your doorstep.I'm sure they can leave a note saying the package is at the post office for pick-up.Ringworld would be awesome on the big screen.I also think that 5 book Memoirs of a Tyrant or whatever it was called by Piers Anthony would be very entertaining.
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Who's excited for it? Who's a big fan of Trek? I never really watched the original series, but I grew up watching "The Next Generation". We had a family tradition. New episodes came on every saturday evening, so weekends I was at my mom's house (my parents were divorced), she, my brother, and I would go to 5 or 6:00 Catholic mass (I forget which), come home, and eat a nice flank steak and baked potato dinner while watching the newest episode of ST:TNG. That's how I grew up. So, I'm really excited about JJ's Trek, and I'm very glad to see it getting good reviews.
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Apr 07, 2009 8:54:46 AM CDT
Leaving a note is what they're supposed to do, HOD
by franklin t marmoset
But post men (or, in my case, post woman) hate carrying around undelivered packages, and unfortunately some of them are lazy and careless enough that they'll leave the packages outside your door just to be rid of them. They're not supposed to do it, but some of them do anyway.I'll pop into a friend's on the way home and fire off an e-mail to you tonight. It would be cool if we could work something out, because it's starting to feel as though God just does not want me to see Outlander.
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I did not know that about Slater in Star Trek.I remember watching the film, seeing Christian Slater, saying "Hey, that's Christian Slater!", and then spending the rest of the film wondering when he was going to come back.
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Apr 07, 2009 9:18:51 AM CDT
I can pay a few bucks extra to have you sign for it
by hawaiian organ donor
And then receive confirmation that you did so.I'm not a die hard Trekkie but I loves good sci-fi and 'splosions so I'm there for this one.
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I can't claim to be huge fan or anything, but the reviews have been solid so far and I'd like to see something this summer with 'splosions and whatnot that is not Transformers 2.Also, I don't share the JJ Abrams hate a lot of people seem to have. Don't love him, either, but he's okay. I thought MI3 was alright. Shitloads better than MI2.
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If it's okay with you, shall we try again with the option where I sign for the package? That should sidestep any problems.But if we do that, I insist on sending you something in return, be it cash or something else. This is double niceness on your part, and double niceness should be rewarded or at the very least reimbursed.E-mail me your address and I'll figure something out.
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I believe HBO have optioned his review for a 10 hour miniseries.He liked it, although I'm never entirely sure what that means with Harry. That guy could like getting punched in the balls if he convinced himself beforehand was going to like getting punched in the balls (and also had colourful nostalgic memories of getting punched in the balls as a kid).
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A bottle of single malt scotch arrived in the mail yesterday. I either have Jarv or ThereWolf to thank for that, but neither are around. That stuff was goooooooood.I'll get a package out to you on Monday, Franklin. When it arrives and you're holding it in your hands, we'll talk about what you can do.
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Frankie, I don't know whose over at AIBN, other than Danny and HOD. I visited it once to give a shout-out, but it's not my kind of bag. Alot of others are over at Mavra now. This is still pretty much the only place to shoot the breeze though.
I think Star Trek will end up being great, I really do. However, if you read Harry's review, there is nothing in there that makes me breathe a sigh of relief and think, oh, they nailed it! I still think they have, and they probably have enormous confidence in it, but Harry's reviews have never been the defining factor for me. In fact, none of these guys have any cred in my book, to the point I'd just jump right in with something based on their reaction. -
...is that episode of Futurama where they're being held hostage with the original cast by some kind of gas cloud/sci-fi nerd.That was funny.Man, I love Futurama. I hope they do some more of those films, they were pretty good.
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I don't know, though. That Bale joke got old pretty quickly for me.
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You are, again, the man.But don't you dare try to wriggle out of my offer of recompense. You're getting something, sir, even if it's a hand drawn doodle of a monkey fighting a chicken. But I promise it will be better than that, and I don't mean a hand drawn doodle of four monkeys fighting eight chickens. Something worthy of your kind efforts.
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AWESOME. Best mail package possible- liquor.
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I remember the past couple of weeks when Harry had that story up asking who wanted to come see a pristine print of "Wrath of Khan" in Austin. I've been busy today so I haven't been able to read all the "Star Trek" reviews, but I just got to one that made me realize that the "Khan" screening was a ruse! The film started but after 3-4 minutes, it melted! And just when fans were about to shit a brick, Leonard Nimoy came out and introduced the new Trek movie! I gotta give them credit- that's a GREAT way to do a screening.
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Not Star Trek or Wolverine or Transformers 2 or Terminator IV. Mainly bc I see those as spectacle films that I *want* to see on the bigscreen with a crowd. If I had to pick a film to download, I'd rather it be a comedy or a drama- something that isn't enhanced too much by the theater. And for that category, I can't think of anything that fits.
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Who is my favorite Trek character? Hard to say. I might have to go with Picard. Or Data. Most likely Picard.
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Don't know if I spelt that right. Favourite Star Trek character. She's well tidy.
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Notwithstanding I haven't the brains to download a movie, illegal or otherwise. It would have to be this new Star Trek thing.But if somebody out there has got Avatar sans FX...
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That "Khan" ruse. How top is that? Imagine being in the audience when that happens - Nimoy comes out and yer into the new movie. Class.
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I remember seeing the actress on another show, thinking she was quite attractive, but being unable to place where I knew her from. It was the lack of those said tattoo/birthmark designs. Wasn't she on that coffee bar show with Ted Danson, Becker?
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to shun Twitch. It's just that there's an awful lot to read over at MyMavra. I'm gonna have to work out some kind of rota.
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It's probably one of the few movies Im genuinely excited for this summer.
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Don't know what else she was on. I didn't see that many episodes of Deep Space 9 but, yeh, she's the one for me.I liked Deep Space 9, don't know why I didn't keep watching it. I think it's just episodic television, I tend to lose interest, particularly if I have to wait a week for the next one.
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The One-Man Reviewing Machine!Can't believe you can do 'em from memory as well!
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If it was delivered from Lovescotch - that was me. Ardbeg?
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And this happened just as the big war with the Delta Quadrant was beginning too. I do remember seeing the finale, but I pretty much missed everything that led up to it. Damn those Jem Hdar!
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of what I've seen DS9-wise. Just a few episodes here and there, but nothing beyond Season 3.A big war? That sounds good.
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There ended up being this very war-like race that was very much like the Japanese in the sense that they enjoyed going all kamikaze during space battles, flying their ships right into Federation starships. I don't remember exactly, but the Cardassians may have allied with the Federation to fight back against the Jem Hadar, who ended up being a race that did the bidding of another race they considered their gods- the race of shapeshifters that Odo belonged to. Least, that's how I remember it. The whole war was how they were able to get Worf into the Star Trek: First Contact movie. Worf was on DS9 at the time of the movie, and DS9 had this new prototype battleship that was very small, very fast, and very maneuverable. It may have even had a cloaking device (or maybe not- I think that was illegal in regards to some Romulan or Klingon treaty? My Trek history is spotty). Anyway, that ship popped up in the opening to First Contact when all Federation ships were attacking the Borg cube, trying to stop it on its way to Earth.
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I gathered there was something going on with Worf and DS9 when I saw First Contact. That was a nifty looking battleship he was on. Sounds like I've missed a hell of a lot.Got to get this series stuff on DVD...
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and she was on Becker. She left DS9 to get on that show and then ended up getting replaced. Why did everyone hate that show? Didnt seem any worse than the other stuff that was on around that time.
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and we're getting chased down by two more Trek TB's.
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Hot. Hot Hot Hot. As the Cure once sang.
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Just discovered that Let The Right One In and In The Loop are coming to the Cornerhouse cinema near me. They specialise in foreign and independent films and I had hoped that if some of these Twitch movies were to show up, it would be at the Cornerhouse. Finally!
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I remember when I was younger, studios meant nothing to me. But I used to near vibrate in my cinema seat if the Fox logo and fanfare came up before the film I was waiting for. The Star Wars effect, see and a bit later on Alien (sneaked in underage to that one). The Fox fanfare told me something special was about to happen. Even fast-forwarding a few years - to The Abyss, no fanfare just a sonar ping. And Alien 3, the fanfare warps into Elliot Goldenthal's menacing, superb score.What happened? Did I lose my sense of wonder? Do some people hear the Fox fanfare and still get excited? I hope so. Coz I don't. Eragon (Star Wars - with dragons? Why would they do that?) AvP x 2 (Why would they destroy 2 once mighty alien creatures like this?)Don't Fox care anymore? They did once. What changed?
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I had a postie do that once. He stuck a package behind the refuse bins round the side of the house. Didn't put a card through to explain that, though. I live in fookin Manchester, it's pissing down half the time so it's like 2 days later I'm loading up the bins and find a soggy box! Luckily the contents were shrink-wrapped and in perfect nick. Bollocked the Post Office for that.Play.com. Only trouble I had with them was a portable DVD player I ordered that went walkabaout. Pure luck I checked to see if they'd sent it yet and saw it was out on 48hr Parcel Farce. Ordered Thursday, it was Saturday so I should've had it. Course it's got a recorded number so I clicked that and discovered my parcel was delivered at 8.45 and signed for! Yeh, not by fookin me! Worse, the proof of delivery signature was a joke. Can't recall what it was but think "A N Other" - it was as stupid as that.Anyhoo, Play did their 'investigation,' came up with zero and offered me a refund. I said just send me another player but they were out of stock and not getting anymore! Got a refund. I was on the phone to Play going "You gonna let someone at the PO get away with stealing a DVD player?" Total apathy in response.I hope you get it sorted, mate.
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Especially if its a movie coming on tv- and I don't know what it is. The child in me hopes its Star Wars.
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it's like a pavlovian response or something...even knowing what shit Fox is capable of foisting upon us, I get those little "ooooh special...MOVIE!" chills whenever I hear it.
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I gotta steer clear of those Trek talkbacks. I will NOT allow for a Watchmen-style burnout. Not when there's still a month to go before the film even opens.
Must......resist!
Finished reading Countdown today. Kinda wish there were more of 'em. They're so damn exciting... -
I'd love to see Picard, Data, and Worf make a "Generations" style appearance in the beginning of the movie much like some of the original cast did for that film.
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would be great. The comics really nailed all the Next Gen characters. I could hear their voices in my head the whole time I was reading it.
Or even at the end of the movie or something. Find some way of flashing ahead on the timeline to show you the results of whatever happens in the movie.
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I was a little worried that I wouldn't be all that into Nero. But after reading the comics, I'm definitely behind him. I was finding myself really pissed off at Vulcan. I mean, really? You're that dedicated to bureaucratic bullshit? Doesn't seem very logical from here...
It's really cool that Nero is a sympathetic character. Khan justifiably wanted revenge on Kirk, but you never forget what a crazy, dickish sort of guy he is. Nero's just an average dude whose whole life was crushed for no good reason. -
Woulda made it feel a bit more connected to the previous series too, I think, other than just having old Spock in there. Ah well. A missed opportunity.
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In the film. Which is a shame. Though I like Quint's assessment that he's just like "some trucker that was off on a job when something horrible happened back home." Or something.
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that the people who are saying that you 'forget about what you were hoping to see' are right.
Lately the trend seems to be criticizing a movie based on the degree to which it ISN'T what the critic wanted/thought it would be, rather than sticking to critiquing what's actually there on the screen.
It sounds like people aren't confused by it, which is good. Old Spock's bound to have to do some expository-style explaining at some point. -
Nero's from a working class background is awesome. Hopefully we'll get to see more of what people outside of Star Fleet are up to on Earth.
And on Vulcan, too...I've always wanted to see day-to-day life there. What do they do all day? What's Vulcan family life like? -
Reading and whatnot, engaging in activities that don't bring out any emotion (which means no sports). Just a lot of philosophizing perhaps... But I agree with you, Blitz. I like that Nero was just some miner that got screwed. I didn't read Countdown, but I liked his backstory up until the big moment when he decides to be a villain. Without reading it, it didn't make sense to me. The guy's helping Spock try and bring about peace between Romulus and Vulcan and help warn Romulus of impending doom... and when it happens, he blames Spock and the Federation? Doo-whaa?!
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somebody in the "wanna see TWOK?" TB suggested Nemesis should be watched as the cast doing battle against a psychotic trekkie who thinks he's Patrick Stewart and wants to get down with Sirtis.
Brilliant! -
it seemed to me that the Vulcans coulda stopped it all in time, but were too caught up in bureaucratic rigmarole to take decisive action. I can see how Nero, in the midst of all that pain and rage, would blame 'em.
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and takes it to villainous lengths. But it's understandable at least.
I wonder how he ends up going after Kirk specifically.... -
I've only read summaries, so that's what I've missed. To my knowledge, Spock knew of the impending doom and tried to help. Nero, while being a miner, helped Spock in his efforts to warn Romulus AND bring about lasting peace between the two worlds. So how does what happened make it easy to blame Vulcan and not Romulan leaders? And I think Quint's review says Nero goes after Spock specifically- not Kirk. Kirk just gets in the way I bet.
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The Vulcans had the tech needed to save Romulus, but wouldn't give it up based on "old prejudices, old fears." Spock was insistent that they do things by-the-book and go through the Council, whereas Nero thought they should've just taken what they needed, given that his planet was at stake. Picard even says of the Vulcan decision: "Logic has deserted them."
So Nero's gonna take off, Spock says that he and Picard will take care of things, and Nero says, if it doesn't work out I'm holding you and your people responsible.
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....BOOM.
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is pretty pissed at the Romulan leaders though, too. They evacuated themselves and left everybody else, like Nero's wife and baby, to die. Typical. Politicians screwing over the little guys.
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Spends ALLL two weeks ago like every other commercial showing you that Sir Mos Def is going to be in House last week. Because 0 out of 10 people know who Mos Def is, seriously outside of geeks he isn't a HOUSEhold name. But this week the Lord Almighty Meat Loaf is in it! COME ON! Granted the whole episode wasn't narrated by The Load Diving Bell style like Mos Def's episode. BUT STILL its the Sir Loaf come on Fox, you want us to respect you. Ok rant over but for those of you who watch House, which is like no one because outside of Lost and Heroes I don't think most of you watch TV here's a little spoiler so hold on to your butts. Lame way to get Kumar out of the series. I guess he finally got another job seeing that his butt buddy is in Star Trek.
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Was too cool for Star Trek? Why the change?
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Adel was pretty good as the Loaf's wife.
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working for the friggin' Obama administration!
at least, that's what I read on Yahoo this morning... -
whenever I see Mos Def now, I just think of that shitty Bruce Willis movie where he plays the retarded-sidekick guy who wants to open a bakery.
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Glad to see the good guys, like Picard, can point out the absurdity of not immediately helping.
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to see Stewart as Picard just one more time....
Data too. Just throw some Ben Button-style de-aging effects on his face and you don't even have to worry about how old Spiner looks these days. -
The pre star trek comic then?
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it's FUCKING awesome....
Pick up the trade, perhaps? -
Showing was bullshit. I was like, there is no way they aren't going to show like 30 minutes at least of the new one or some shit.
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I'd wait and read it the week before the movie comes out. It'll really get the excitement & anticipation going...
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Who saw THAT one coming?
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in San Francisco....it'd almost make moving here worth it.
I mean, hello, Starfleet headquarters? What's Austin got to do with Trek?
Must have been an amazing screening. I'm jealous. -
Gues star on "House" USA replays of "16 Blocks" Panel guest on HBO's "Real Time with Bill Maher" HBO or Cinemax screenings of "Be Kind, Rewind" Last week, Mos Def got PAID.
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One day he's "Too cool for Star Trek" and isn't a huge fan. The next day he's painting models of the Enterprise and talking about how Star Trek is SUPPOSED to be while gushing over the new film. His opinions are like Oprah's weight- always fluctuating.
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Be Kind, Rewind
But I'm a sucker for home-made movies. The movie-making parts put a big smile on my face. -
over-identifies with shit. Like, he doesn't have a barrier between himself and whatever he's seeing. Because I swear, prior to that hipster article, he talked about how watching Trek was a family affair from his youth. But as soon as he started contemplating hipsters, he got confused and thought that he actually was one. Now that Trek's in front of him, he's all about the Trek again.
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And having heard the brilliant stand up Nick Griffin on Ferguson last night. And he this great joke about how black guys have more choice of dress, and if he tried to dress like a black guy with a side ways hat and giant Lebron jersey he would look like a make a wish kid on his "special day". Added to all the Harry backlash about the Wolverine crap, and when he said in his Trek review how he couldn't get out of his wheel chair to hug Spock....is this Harry's make a Wish project?
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OHHH SHIT JUST REMEMBERED NEW RESCUE ME ON TONIGHT! ALLAH BE PRAISED! Yes something good. Anyways the cop brother from Rescue me was all over TV the past two weeks, mainly getting killed in Life On Mars, Terminator the Show and 30 Rocks.
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I keep waiting for him to have more a break out role, one that says we should hype him having a guest spot more so then Sir Meat Loaf. I thought Hitchhikers Guide was perfect casting, all around. I enjoyed that movie it was just one of those things that there was no way it was going to be as good as the book, though the addition of Jon Malcovitch and that part sucked. I need to watch that movie again. I need to read that book again, I think that is one of the few books where I've actually LOL'ed whilst reading a book.
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Want's to fight Ethan Hawk. I fucking hate Tobey Keith, I hope everyone who's ever funded his music career is stuck in Hell forever listening to Boot in Your Ass on repeat. Though I will celebrate getting a job (if that ever happens) by eating at his restaurant and getting the Boot In Your Ass Burger.
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makes me mad that Hollywood doesn't care about small cities.
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very well at all. But I do remember being entertained by it. Same for the book (which stands out more in my memory). And I resisted reading it for a long time, for some dumb youthful reason having to do with it having been my Dad's favorite book in high school. So silly....
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Observe and Report. And why did I fucking put Bedtime Stories in my Netflix Queue, and how did it fucking get here like one week after release but I still can't get Pineapple Express? OH Well Netflixs feels bad and is sending me Punisher War Zone to make me feel better. I think I'm gonna double team it with the new Hood movie.
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about makin' that paper, and not much else.
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Extremely creative. Love that montage of all the films they've made.
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want to see Observe and Report, too. And that fact has been irritating me to no end.
Bedtime Stories, eh? Good Lord, I hope you are a pot smoker. -
the 2001 rotation part especially.
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Guide until college, because I thought that it wouldn't be funny. Or like too kiddie or something. But man that book is classic, its so crazy and smart.
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They almost shot it at the local mall I visited a LOT in my childhood. Its the mall that fulfills Chris Rock's theory of malls in towns: "There are two malls in every city. The mall white people go to, and the mall white people USED to go to." That's the mall they almost shot "Observe and Report" at. Its old and derelict in places and riddled with crime. The corporation that owns it (in Indiana) denied the film using is as a location because they thought the subject matter was bad. But they're selling it. They've been trying to sell it. What the fuck do they care? I coulda had a job for over a month!
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Did you see Foot Fist Way? I liked Be Kind Rewind as well, but not as much as I thought I would.
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Heheh, using one of those childhood playmats that has roads on it as a "forced perspective" for when Black is "hanging off the roof" in Rush Hour II.
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Man color me surprised with the Box Office Gusto that movie had. I seriously thought that it would be 20-30 million tops. Like I've never been that indifferent toward a blockbuster movie. Like I didn't care if I saw it or not. It would've been one of those things where some one was like hey lets watch Fast And Furious and I would've been like eh ok.
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seen the Foot Fist Way. How is it?
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Tonight and last week were fan fucking tastic. I don't know what they did, new writers are what. But it was getting staler then three week old bread. But these last two were really good. Like ER during Cloondawgs run good.
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of the Fast and the Furious movies. But then again, I've never had a driver's license and never gave a fuck about cars. So my driving was limited to when my driving-friends in high school were way too drunk to drive and I wasn't too drunk to drive, but drunk enough to think that driving at all would be a good idea.
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Is actually pretty funny. If you like Danny McBride you will like it. It has its moments, its a very weird movie and Observe and Report looks like a lot of the same. Its like a hateful film and the comedy isn't straight forward comedy. OHHHH JEEZ Seriously house, they put a suicide hotline number at the end of the episode, they did that shit for Alcoholics after Dennis Rodmen's thing on The Apprentice the other week. What the fuck is primetime TV now becoming After School Special Hour? Speaking of after school specials there is one with Ben Affleck about Roid Rage I really want to see, they showed a clip of it in Bigger, Faster, Stronger a must see if. My favorite doc of last year.
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Man this is funny. http://www.fox.com/kutner/
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Do they still make those?
Or what about those little cartoon bits they used to show at the end of G.I. Joe or between Saturday morning cartoons....like, how to tread water or put out a grease fire, or how to make a sandwich. Ya know, for the benefit of all us latchkey kids with no upbringing... -
Is having a big screen premiere. Man we are one step closer to this becoming the norm.
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???? Like the day care?
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Sequel the the biggest porno ever.
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I don't like the porn. Or at least, I try not to pay attention to it. If I say more, I will start ranting. I'm trying to rant less.
Latchkey kids, as in if your parents didn't spring for a babysitter. -
over that movie at the U-MD. The students were gonna screen it at the Student Union and some state legislator threatened to pull the school's funding if they did.
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to threaten college kids with censorship. ESPECIALLY the state-sponsored variety.
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Chevey Chase to appear on Chuck. What's the last thing he's done besides appear on SNL? The Karate Dog? Great movie whatever happened to Bob Clark?
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Its freaking college! What are you trying to protect "young innocent minds" from exactly?
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not to mention that, the more hysterically you oppose something, the more you end up invigorating the thing you're opposing. Wag your finger and tell a kid not to do something, and they'll want to do it even more.
It's not my kind of thing, but I see no reason why they should try to go the prohibition route. Who cares? They're in college, so that means they're (technically, for the most part) adults, they can do what they want. The college wasn't even funding the screening apparently, which makes the whole thing even stupider. -
has apparently been in all kinds of shit that I've never heard of over the last few years.
...Have a strange urge now to watch Oh Heavenly Dog. Loved me some Benji as a child. And the poster is hilarious, with Benji examining Jane Seymour's bubble-bath-clad breasts with a magnifying glass and Chevy Chase all goofball/debonair in the background. -
Porn is not porn unless the wad spackles the face.
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Awww, somebody mentions porn, and up pops Danny....it's like magic!
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Apr 07, 2009 11:44:55 PM CDT
"Couples Porn" with story and budgets. No good.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Nonunion extras only pull $8/hr? In Manhattan?? Harsh...
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Apr 07, 2009 11:46:53 PM CDT
I'm watching David Alan Queer on Dancing w/ the stars....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....God this shit boring.
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looooves that show. Sad to say, if I had a TV I'd probably watch it. I'm a sucker for fools dancing around and making asses of themselves. I find that very entertaining in small doses.
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....the problem is they only do like 5 different fucking dances. And ever season ends up feeling exactly the same. I like the ghetto dance shows better. Big titty bitches doing back-flips and shit. I think Dancing w/stars really fucked up by getting Shawn Johnson instead of Sacramone.
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Sacramone. And such an evocative name...
Is Shawn Johnson a figure skater? -
This is a star studded Chuck. The fucking Mummy is in it.
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....the way her body changed from the past Olympics to now is fucking unreal. She looks good now. She's thick. But she was fucking tiny this past Summer. She looked 9 years old. I guess thats all that crazy lack of puberty shit that comes with the crazy training....
Check this out:From this...http://tinyurl.com/dh78za To this....http://tinyurl.com/d4ypm8 in what...like 8 months? FUCK. -
tango, etc.? A bit pedestrian...but I really thought that was the only dance show on TV these days.
I'd rather see the girls go wild (NOT the girls gone wild--fuck joe francis) with reckless, un-self-conscious abandon. Freedom! Flip away! -
.....girls be shakin' that shit like its got fleas.
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The Glove and The Mummy together at least.
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only 8 months....that is fucking insane.
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Best reality show on TV...EVER.
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Apr 08, 2009 12:07:33 AM CDT
That shows how fucked up that training regiment is.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Who the fuck would do that to their kid? They don't go through puberty until they stop training. Thats gotta do something fucked up to their reproductive system or something.
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So You Think You Can Dance was still on the air. I saw some of the first season of that. Then I stopped having a TV.
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Apr 08, 2009 12:08:30 AM CDT
Is that the show with that bald dude with sunglasses?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
That shit is so fucking fake. But it is entertaining.
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Apr 08, 2009 12:09:07 AM CDT
So You Think....I dunno if they are gonna do it again.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
It was still on last year though.
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ladies who were into Modern Dance back in the day, like Martha Graham-style. They'd develop so much abdominal muscle from violently hunching over that it would start to crowd out their internal organs.
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Is a summer show. That's why its not on. It'll be back. I really like that show too.
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Apr 08, 2009 12:11:50 AM CDT
So You Think is in MAY!! FUCK...YES!! ASS SHAKING!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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fucking love that movie. Seriously hope the sequel isn't shit.
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And they get shot at and shit?
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The biggest problem with the show is that the judges are fucking ANNOYING. Like in how American Karaoke the judges are the best part. All the Dance Judges do is cup the balls of the contestants. Plus that host is annoying.
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Yeah there is a bald guy on it, and some fat Latino guy. Last night he punched a dude in the face and was moving to fast that the momentum and his girth caused him to fall on his ass. But being the former marine he is he did a barrel roll away from the dude with the knife.
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IS really good. I hope all these guys keep having returning roles.
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Celebrity Rehab or Sober House?
So awesome.....I want more of that. But I think it's over. -
Apr 08, 2009 12:16:20 AM CDT
Yeah. That show is pretty hilarious. 100% fake.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
I saw the one where they go out in the desert middle of nowhere shit-hole and try to hook up some dude's truck. The dude runs out of the house firing a piece and they jump in their truck and peel ass out of there. I think they got the guy's truck. But the weakest shit was the camera man was handheld running around and filming the guy shooting from like 5 feet away, and then he pans over and you see the repo guys driving off in the distance. No one thought viewers might wonder why they left their camera man behind and why he wasn't in fear of his life?
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Always wanted to, I hate how VH1 runs their shit over and over. I like to watch my shows in order and I never knew what day the new episodes were on.
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Apr 08, 2009 12:17:18 AM CDT
I heard Dr. Drew saying they are doing another one soon.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
I was listening to him on Love Line the other night. Fuck...I can't believe that shit is still on. That show taught me everything about my dickblood I need to know.
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I don't know Danny. There was an episode where the bald guy was having a roid rage shit and they were towing a car. The car had the camera man in it and the bald guy took a turn way to fast and flipped the car with the Camera guy inside. The camera guys usually have their own car. I've seen them attacked before.
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you watch shit on your computer, but you can probably find all the episodes on VH1's website. That's where I watched 'em.
Gary Busey....amaaazing. And I still can't believe they got Rodney Fucking King to be on their show. -
More ethically-questionable reality tv for my viewing pleasure!
And I had no idea Love Line was still on the air. Who's on with Dr. Drew these days? -
Fucking the lady friend is making me watch Idol. I just don't like this season, the constants just suck. God this and then Bedtime Stories. At least House and Chuck were amazingly good. Not Breaking Bad good buy close.
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I can't watch crap streaming I've gotta download it.
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Apr 08, 2009 12:24:14 AM CDT
Its that little cunt rag Stryker with Dr. Drew.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
He's actually a pretty good co-host. Its incredibly how well he can instruct a female to pleasure another female.
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but my connection is ace...at least, it is when my roommate remembers to pay the bill.
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I don't know who that is...
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Is no fun either. Same shit different day with that one.
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but I'm guessing there's no relation
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must go!
Goodnight all! -
Except when Gordon says Donkey. That's the best.
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Fucking Ginko Bioblow Pill Wife Murder is rapping Stand By Me. I hate this fucker he better not win, neither should that fag who wants to be the lead singer of The Darkness. I think this is the first year I am routing for the big voice black lady to win, even if her name needs to be smacked.
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Donkey is always funny. He actually apologized this year because he was calling the big guy a name that caused bad feelings as a kid and upset him. It was really touching actually.
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You watch Wolverine or Twilight?
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Apr 08, 2009 12:30:42 AM CDT
I'm fine with anyone winning except Christian guy....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....with glasses and the dead wife sob story. I wanna kick that dude in his fucking mouth. I like Anoop. He seems to be a nice, normal guy. And young red hair Latina. Blind guy fucking sucks dick and gets the pity vote. Lil' Black sounds exactly like every black girl finalist thats ever been on the show. Drag Queen dude is a good singer and I respect the fact that he doesn't sound like every other finalist. I actually like this season because its a bizarre mishmash of styles. Usually its the same exact pop shit.
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Hell's Kitchen gets way too fucking repetitive. You only need to see one season. But Kitchen Nightmares is fucking gold.
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Arrangement was stolen from fucking that Rock Star Supernova show. Some chick on the show did the same version.
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I want to hunt some of those resturnates down and go to them after the fact....maybe. I like how they say what happens afterward. I remember the first season how some of them ended up closing and one of them sold it like a week or two after Ramsey left. Probably got the show to fix it up for free and sold it for a lot more.
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Really NY Times, is this really important journalism? Why fucking bet against Pixar at this point. I like Pixar's response pretty much saying fuck you. "A check-the-boxes approach to creativity is more likely to result in blandness and failure"
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His Play That Funky Music was sick though.
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Apr 08, 2009 12:40:34 AM CDT
Did you see that Hells Kitchen at that Italian place in Jersey?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
With that big Guido brother that managed the place and gave free shit to his friends. His sister owned it, but he acted like he did. Some dude comes in saying Guido owes him money and Gordan says get the fuck out-- the guy said something to Gordan and Guido flips out and chases him outside. He was a fucking animal.
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Facet of all of that guys performance. Lil Rounds, that's her actual name. As far as generic sounding black singers go, I think she is pretty damn good. And she doesn't have the typical wo story that they do. Hmmm her Tina tonight though....lets face it only Tina can to Tina.
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I bet Ramsey could fight.
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Is all just too kiddie, like they are looking for the next Jonas brother. I mean when Kelly Clarkson comes on and has a rougher and rawer sound then anything done on the show its kind of sad.
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Tina's Goldeneye. Second or third favorite Bond song behind TJ and tied with Paul.
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Apr 08, 2009 12:46:36 AM CDT
Guido screaming "YOU TALK TO MY FRIEND LIKE THAT?!!""
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Fucking awesome.
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Was performing on Idol this year that's why he left House.
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A sequel to Over Her Dead Body?
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But my favorite is still Duran Duran's A View To A Kill. I like the last one a lot too. The Alicia Keys song.
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Micheal White/Alicia Keys song when I just heard it, but in the movie it was by far the best part.
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You should get a picture of Bale from the Machinist on your site.
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Apr 08, 2009 12:54:52 AM CDT
Its a bizarre song. But I think it perfectly captures modern Bon
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Apr 08, 2009 12:56:18 AM CDT
I don't like to think of him like that. Far too weak.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Then I see this guy perform on Idol and all of sudden its like a machine gun of blind jokes all of the sudden.
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Bales worst movie. I fucking hated that thing, but I don't blame Bale I blame the director who I really liked with Sessions 9 and his last movie on a train which was very Hitchcockian. I mean we all know Bale is the most professional mother fucker on the planet, it may have been a little too much for that director.
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http://tinyurl.com/ct6288
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I can name my kid Thor? Really awesome. That is the name of the guy who directed Hotel For Dogs, not really a name I would've put with that movie.
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Apr 08, 2009 1:00:07 AM CDT
I read the script for Machinist, but didn't see it.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
The script was pretty fucking pointless.
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Was sooo fucking lame.
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My lady friend just made a another funny. We just saw a trailer for Wolverine and she was like at the end they should see, OR SEE IT NOW ONLINE!
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It was like someone saw Napolian Dynamite and ran with it.
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Hugh's gonna be alright. He needs to do more romantic comedies. Get out of the tough guy shit. Leave that to Stanley Tucci.
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Apr 08, 2009 1:08:48 AM CDT
I know one of the actors in it. He just sent it to me.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Apr 08, 2009 1:09:36 AM CDT
The ending of Machinist was oddly simple, yeah.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
It just felt so pointless.
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If fucking Fast and Furious can break the bank (after the much better car movie Speed Racer flopped) I think any movie will be a hit. I mean only geeks and nerd download movies, and those were not the people who made the X-Men hits.
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Apr 08, 2009 1:11:06 AM CDT
And I don't see the point of the crazy weight loss....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....doesn't really seem like it adds much. A little weight loss, sure. Of course that guy shouldn't have muscle. But why would he have the abs of Lindsay Lohan? The script never suggests the only thing he consumes is lesbian snatch and cigarettes.
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Jesus fucking christ this douche bag copping mother fucker better get kicked off of Idol this week. So he sings Mad World, the Tears for Fears song. BUT NO he does the version from Donnio Darko....now the everyone who watches the show is too stupid to realize that this is just a copy of an already done arrangement. So of course he is going to look good because it looks like he came up with this amazing new version of the song. Just like he did with fucking Ring of Fire. God I hate this faggot, acting like he came up with these interesting new arrangements. He's gonna win.
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Apr 08, 2009 1:15:57 AM CDT
Yeah. The negative impact of downloads is tiny....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....just more studio witchcraft this site seemed to fall for. Their profits are better than ever. In bad economic times, ticket sales soar. But the corporate parent companies need something to point the finger at to justify the massive studio layoffs. Some pencil pusher realized if they get rid of X amount of employees, their profits increase even more! And it goes straight to the top. Even big stars are seeing big cuts and making less than before and asked to take more and more back end instead of up front. And the working stiff hourly crew member sure ain't seeing a boost. The corporate higher ups want to pull in more and they figure they can pin their supposed hardships on illegal downloading. Dumb fucks everywhere fall for it.
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Apr 08, 2009 1:16:57 AM CDT
I don't think he'll win. I think GOKEY will win.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Fuck that guy.
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Maybe someone gave Christian Bad information about what happenes to insomniacs and before they could correct it he had already lost the weight.
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Maybe someone gave Christian Bad information about what happens to insomniacs and before they could correct it he had already lost the weight.
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He's like last year's winner fatter older brother who murders wives.
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Just because he listens to less main stream music then the other contenders. So he can get away with stealing shit other people have done, because not everyone has heard it.
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Apr 08, 2009 1:20:41 AM CDT
I say final 3 will be Red Hair, Gokey, Adam....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....Gokey wins.
REMEMBER THE BALEBACK! GOODNIGHT MOTHERFUCKER!! (Bam...I slam my fucking guitar right the fuck through my amp) -
Gonna go get my ass rapped by Bedtime stories and some vodka now.
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Marley and Me was utter shit wrapped in a pile of crap. So everything I heard about that was totally wrong, like sex with a someone in your family wrong. Twilight was Meh. Not as bad as I heard and just ok, like a good episode of Smallville. Now Bedtime Stories is actually pretty decent. I thought it was going to be a Disney movie starring Adam Sandler but its a Adam Sandler Kids movie. Say blah blah about Sandler and what not, but know that he's got two kids now and you know how actors get when they get kids. Its a perfectly safe movie and Sandler saves it. Granted I'm a Sandler fan, he's had his ups and downs but he's always fun to watch and that is what this is. Better then most kids movies these days, shit like Spiderwick Chronicles. Plus Lucy Lawless and King Drag Queen Guy Piece don't hurt.
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I liked 16 Blocks (the Mos Def/Bruce Willis flick). It was good Donner and had Morse in it. What's not to like? A lot of Star Trek and Dancing with the Stars talk that I have no idea about. Bedtime Stories was very average. And way to preoccupied with the guinea pig with the CG eyes. Pirates 2 is shit. Damn. All that talk and thats about it?
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Apr 08, 2009 3:22:46 AM CDT
I watched Stand By Me last night
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
For what must be the 100th time in my life. Such a great film. Apart from that there's nada to talk about. Mucho work. I wish this week would hurry the fuck up so I can have my long weekend.
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Fuck, I got nothing to say today.I hope all are well.
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If they're doing another one of those tepid remakes where they're basically just gathering together a selection of highlights from the original series and repackaging them in single film form for a new generation, that guy seems like a perfect choice.I think I'd prefer they did something a little different, though. I have seen the Freddy story seven and a half times now. It's a shame they can't bee assed to try something new, like Rosie O'Donnell stalking people in their dreams. That would be pretty fucking scary right there.
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The original, starring teen Kurt Russell and a monkey.Fucking right I'm recording it. Going to watch that bad boy over the bank holiday weekend.
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It would give me something to do once I'm unemployed because a bunch financial douchebags sucked all the money in the world into a black hole.Animation may be the best way to do something with my long gestating dream project:THE LEAGUE OF FORGOTTEN 80s HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSIn this, Mike Weaver, Pinklon Thomas, Michael Dokes, James 'Bonecrusher' Smith and Tony 'TNT' Tucker team up to fight crime. Mostly by punching it.
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I just heard about this. It's terrible! http://tinyurl.com/d6wsce
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Thanks for the link, Mavra. I don't remember this being reported on the news at all, so it slipped by me, too.I'm kind of angry about it, but at the same time there is no way in hell any government could make this work, least of all ours. Every single e-mail and every single website visited by every single computer? The only person capable of monitoring all that information effectively would be that blue cock guy off Watchmen, and he is, I believe, not real.It does make me want to move to Sweden, though.
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THE LEAGUE OF FORGOTTEN 80s HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONS understand that you cannot fight crime and terrorism by spying on the internets. That's bush league pussy crap.You fight crime and terrorism by punching it. Right in the face!
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Or I would have been arrested by now.
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Amazing. You'd think there would be more people up in arms about it, unless it was kept hush hush in the affected areas.
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Apr 08, 2009 6:00:56 AM CDT
The women are the reason I want to move to Sweden
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Me likey.
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http://tinyurl.com/cvdv99 Goodnight guys. Have a great day.
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I made the mistake of clicking on Harry's Star Trek review. I didn't get past this line. Jesus tittyfucking christ Harry's a shameless cock gobbling celebrity whore. Makes me sick.
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Um... Okay. Thanks, Mav. I'll forget I ever saw that image and continue my fervant idolisation of the Nordic goddesses known as Swedish women. And Bjergen Kjergen from Knuergen near the Bjoergen Fjords.
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Apr 08, 2009 6:30:22 AM CDT
Xi, you may appreciate this...watched Field of Dreams
by just pillow talk
last night. Ran across, and I just couldn't resist. "Look for down and away.....but watch in your ear.""Ty Cobb wanted to play, but we couldn't stand the sonabitch when he was alive, so we said no!" followed by Liotta's laugh.
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Bad droid!
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Why does baseball, which is so mind-numbingly boring to watch in real life (sorry yanks, it is), translate into great movies? One of my fav flicks is Major League. "Up your butt, Jobu!" *PLEASE NOTE: I said baseball is boring to 'watch', not to play. I've played it and enjoyed it. But watching it is coma-inducing.
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But I was bored. Very, very bored.
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Just thought I'd throw a Thing reference in there.Because The Thing is great.
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We were all blind stinking drunk and there was no bat so we used a heavy cardboard tube with a circumference of at least twenty inches.It was difficult, dangerous work, but it was a good laugh.I would watch/take part in more sports if they involved booze and inappropriate equipment.
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All competitors would have be utterly shitfaced. Events would include:100 metre kebab noshWomen's hair pullingLongest piss contestElbowing your way to getting served at the barMen's headlock (heavyweight division)Men's headlock (lightweight division)Any other suggestions people have for the Drunkolympics (London 2012) would be gratefully received.I demand to speak to Sebastian Coe about this immediately!
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I might be leaving next week.I can't be expected to work!
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"Peace, love, dope!"Darth Vader's great in that.
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after 12 pints.
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I've participated in a 100 metre dash which ended when I ran through the finish line 'tape' which was actually the tape that cordoned off an area of roadworks. I proceeded to run through the tape and drag the attached traffic cones for another 50 metres down the street in celebration of my victory.
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The "indiscriminate object" toss I've also participated in this event which involves clambering up onto our roof with various heavy, destructable objects and tossing them as far as we could into the street. Objects included a tv, shopping trolley, toilet, kitchen sink and a doghouse. But objects are interchangable, subject to availablility.
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I once came home off the slosh, middle of summer it was, couldn't get in the house but the bedroom window was open. I got a clothes prop (used to hold the washing line up in the garden), clearly not long enough anyway and tried to pole vault up to the window.I hit the wall a good 10 feet short and slid down the brickwork (Wile E Coyote style) to the front step whereupon I curled up and went to sleep and was woken at dawn by the milkman!I'm afraid I was very, very drunk.
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Nice to see Twitch back near the top.So I watched The Untouchables with my dad last night. I love that scene on the bridge where Charles Martin Smith goes all Rambo with the shotgun.Somali pirates seize another ship? Shouldn't all vessels in that area be armed with rocket launchers at this point?I'm sick and tired of obnoxious ring tones in the office. Vibrate, people!Fucking iTunes. They just introduced variable pricing. So now some songs are $1.29 depending on their popularity. Like this is going to encourage people to purchase music legally. The more nonsense I see like this, the more in favor of piracy I am. Hoist the sails!
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That stuff is goooooooood. Never had a scoth quite that smokey.You just ensured yourself a lifetime of foreign films.
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One time, me and a friend (both very drunk) climbed up a statue of noted engineer Isombard Kingdom Brunel and, once we were at the top, tried to push each other off.I won, due to a skillful use of biting the other guy's hand.This could make for a very tense test of strength and endurance at the Drunkolympics.
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Ardberg - it's all friendly in your mouth but once you swallow, it's a total ass whupping!Glad you like it, man.
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as it's properly known.
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Funny, funny, funny.
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Apr 08, 2009 7:55:15 AM CDT
I just realised why Cars is getting a sequel
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
It's the weakest Pixar by far, i'm thinking. Why on earth is it getting a sequel? "Cars wears the merchandising crown, with sales of more than $5 billion." - NY Times article Silly me.
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the shitfacedolympics. Just put a four foot wall in front of a gaggle of drunks and watch mayhem and stupidity ensue.I've been known to fall off the top of chain linked fences that I swear were never there before in college.
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Running from the coppers with a traffic cone on your head.Whoever makes it furthest without being shoved to the ground or shot seven times in the head is the winner.
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The kids eat it up, that's why there's a sequel. My daughter has watched that movie a zillion times.
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Apr 08, 2009 7:59:37 AM CDT
Pub Golf is a must for the Drunkolympics
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I won it a few years ago on a mates birthday in Oxford. It's a bloody dangerous sport though. I was discovered later that night at my mates place, pissing in the kitchen sink. Slightly embarrasing.
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HOD, you seen Negative Happy Chainsaw Edge yet? Just finished it. It's a good time. You should check it out.
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I don't care if theres a sequel to it, go for it if they want. But I NEED a sequel to The Incredibles. The article does say a sequel to Monsters Inc is being considered so thats some good news. But again, where's my The Incredibles 2!?
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I noticed it was up on the interwebs. I just watched Rough Cut on the weekend and I cannot, repeat CANNOT recommend it enough. One of the most original movies in a while.Everyone knows my Drunkalympics story. Put your leg through a window and try to make it to the hospital before bleeding to death.
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Apr 08, 2009 8:17:29 AM CDT
Verbinski not directing Pirates 4
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Good. I'd rather see him do Bioshock.
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Apr 08, 2009 8:21:31 AM CDT
Kal Penn is working for the White House?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Maybe doing some research for Harold and Kumar 3?
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Ever think about writing up a foreign film column for either AIBN or Mavra,HOD? You are about the only person I know whose knowledge of them is so extensive that you end up recommending things I haven't even heard of.
I'd even be willing to tag-team it with you if you are interested. -
This weekend while discussing an MTV True Life focusing on a porn star and 2 different guys addicted to porn, I came up with the idea for making Christian Porn: Its about married couples trying to have children, or something "wholesome" like that. I bet church groups would eat that stuff up.
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*punches the nearest woman in the face*
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Assuming the other guys are in agreement I need to tweak AIBN so that it's more structured. I know some of the stuff on there is goofy but the member pages themselves are good. And I'm proud of my rants. What I'm thinking is I'll review Hollywood movies over there and Asian ones for Mavra. You and I just need to talk with her and Herb about possibly creating a specific page for the Asian reviews.
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Apr 08, 2009 8:49:42 AM CDT
Has AICN always been like this?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
About 18 concurrent reviews or "stories" about the same subject? I've only really noticed it with Watchmen and now Star Trek. Does every person even remotely associated with the site really have to weigh in with their shitty opinion? Especially when they all essentially sing the same tune.
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It's up on the tubes so queue it up.
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First with Iron Man, then Indy 4 and finally with TDK. Before that you would generally only see 2 reviews max per movie.They can't report actual news anymore so they just plaster it with reviews of the same movie.
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An "At the Movies" segment on Mavra's site. Not sure if it's possible with webcams but to have two people discussing a movie they both watched would be cool and a great way to attract traffic if the personalities were dynamic and possibly contentious.
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I can post things and create a category for them like the 30 Days of Horror has now, but I'll email them and see about getting a link on the side-bar. I was going to start a feature called "The Echo Chamber" for that sort of stuff, but maybe we can come up with a more inclusive title.
Yea, I don't see you and I as being contentious in that vein. You want top-drawer entertainment it would be me and Danny. Dear lord. Me getting snuffy when he starts making vaginal allusions and him trying to "lighten" me up by doing God knows what. And of course there is the fact that the minute I pan something, and he thinks it's "magical", all bets are off. -
Did you see over the Twitch site they have the trailer for the Host director's new movie, Mother? Check it out.
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Been tracking it on my various Korean movie news sites for a while.I gotta get something going. Need to put up music reviews somewhere as well.
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http://digg.com/d1nrMA
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A man was rushed to hospital after telling doctors how his best friend bit his penis off and swallowed it.Horrified Marian Milczarek, 53, from Lesna in south west Poland, was attacked following a row with his friend - apparently over borrowing a trailer.'He began hitting me with a chain and then pulled down my trousers and started biting. It was agony,' he said.Police and medics could find no trace of Marian's missing genitalia, and believe his attacker Wojciech Sowinski - now facing 10 years in jail - may have eaten it.'If we'd had the other bit of his penis we could have sewn it back on,' said Dr Adam Domanasiewicz from the hospital in nearby Trzebnica, where Marian is recovering.
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Reynard City Issue 9 (my first co-written issue) got reviewed on AICN. I'm either insane, or a genius, apparently - YATTA!
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Terminator Salvation won't end the way you expect Terminator Salvation will have a very unexpected ending — thanks to the internet. The film's climactic twist was supposedly leaked on the net in 2008, revealing that John Connor (Christian Bale) would die at the end... only to have his skin ripped off and placed on the skeleton of Terminator Marcus Wright (Sam Worthington), in order to to carry on the war against the robots crushing humanity. But it not appears that's not how the blockbuster will now end: according to Moviehole.net, Warner Bros dramatically altered the climax after the original was leaked. "The [new] ending doesn't resemble the previous one in any shape or form," revealed a source, who added that test audiences have reacted favourably to the rewritten finale. I suspect the original ending was scrapped because it's a fucking shit idea. Fucking internet geeks and their blowing smoke up their own asses. PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND REALISE... YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY INFLUENCE ON HOLLYWOOD!
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Congrats
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Fun times indeed. How goes the Droid-verse?
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(I suspect the original ending was scrapped because it's a fucking shit idea. Fucking internet geeks and their blowing smoke up their own asses.) You speak the truth.
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Looks good on ya.Hopefully one day AICN can review something of mine. Actually, maybe it's better if they didn't.
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How goes, dude? I've no doubt you'd get a positive review.
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The Droid-verse is going fine, thanks mate. It'll be shitloads better after tomorrow and I can have a chilled out long weekend full of boozing and movies.
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Hear, hear.That is exactly what I plan on doing this weekend (alongside considering the great sacrifice of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ, obviously)And belated conratulations to Mr Z. Good work, mate.
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Aye - Red Dwarf is back on UK TV. Watching it with some mates and, probably, beer and/or whisky.
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At the end, Marty McFly and Doc Brown turn up in their time travelling steam train and sort those damn robots out good and proper.It also turns out the CEO of Cyberdyne Systems is Biff Tannen.
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But would Bale let his character be bailed out like that? Seems like he'd be ranting that he was a fucking amateur.
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Awesome stuff! How did that happen? Did someone alert the AICNA$$HOLES to the comic?
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Apr 08, 2009 10:26:26 AM CDT
Oh, and I'm out of here from the end of next week
by franklin t marmoset
Officially redundant.So I won't be posting much, if at all, for a while. Which sucks. I do enjoy talking crap here with you lot.
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They've been reviewing them for a while - I'd imagine someone from RC told them it was up.
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Fuck, dude. That sucks. I'm sure you'll find a new job within no time... but still - bad luck, dude.
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That's still pretty cool. I didn't realize it was "big" enough to get noticed by AICN.
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Boo! Hiss! Did you at least get given a decent payout?
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Motherfucker I'm sick of this shit. I've only had the drive about 4 months and its already not being recognized by the computer. @#$%!!!! I got work to do, damnit!
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Mine, which was packed to the rafters with Photos, music, tv shows and movies packed up unexpectadly one day and I lost everything. The photos were the most annoying thing to lose. I now just back everything up on dvd-rs. They're ridiculously cheap and you just need to back up your important stuff once a month and you're safeguarded. The Dude abides of such activity.
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Only been here since last October, so I wasn't expecting much.Tell the truth, I'm slightly relieved. It turned out to be a HUGE mistake coming to work here, so this will push me to look for something better.Or, possibly, I will become a tramp.
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I'm sorry to hear that dude.I'll get your package in the mail on Monday so that you have some stuff to watch while you look for new work.You should write your Back to the Terminator story. Biff Tannen in charge of Cyberdyne is genius.
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They have an 'indie-shots' section.
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insane or genius....they didn't consider possibly a little of both. By the way, I stopped over there a day or so ago and gave it a read. Nice work, dude.
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Apr 08, 2009 10:42:24 AM CDT
"Biff Tannen in charge of Cyberdyne"
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Just as long as you don't call him too early, because his mum sleeps in on Sundays.
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Congrats on the review. I read issue one of your comic a while ago. I meant to read the others but I got lazy and forget. Do you do the drawings? I did like the first issue.
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sorry dude, I feel for you. You should definitely write the Back to the Terminator story. Or give a call to the produces of Gilmore Girls and tell them you have some fresh ideas for a new season involving lesbian werewolves on the moon.
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I co-wrote 9, wrote 10/11 (coming soon.) Drawings are done by people who don't consider 'stick-figures' enough.
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Apr 08, 2009 10:46:58 AM CDT
I have so little interest in Terminator at this point
by franklin t marmoset
The only thing that could enliven it for me is some McFly/Brown comical time travelling antics.On a related note, did anyone see Michael J Fox on The Daily Show? He may not be the greatest actor who ever lived, but he just seems like a thoroughly nice guy. How anyone can attack him personally for trying to help find a cure for his condition is beyond me.A good question to ask if you're trying to assess whether someone is an asshole (kind of like the Voigt-Kampff test) is "Do you like Michael J Fox?" If they say "No", chances are they are an asshole.Seriously, I got a bit choked up watching him talk about telling his kids about his illness.
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Apr 08, 2009 10:46:59 AM CDT
"Biff Tannen in charge of Cyberdyne"
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
"Hey, Connor. You're shoes untied." *slap* "Don't be so gullible, Connor!" (The more I think about it the more it amuses me)
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I am sorry to hear about you job. I know you will find something better. In the meantime, you will have more time to hunt green skinned midget lesbian hulk women!
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I am happy for ya!
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He's like Ron Howard, the only way you can 'hate' them is to poke fun at how nice they appear. Neither says a bad word about anyone.
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Apr 08, 2009 10:50:15 AM CDT
Michael J. Fox is an absolute champ
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
He has a lifetime pass in my books.
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Old Biff, or young Biff?
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There may be some belt-tightening for a while, but I've been around the block enough times now (this is my 20th year as a working stiff - fuck, that's depressing) so I'm confident something will turn up eventually.Next week, I plan to ramble on the Ain't It Cool like a maniac. No thread will go untouched by yammering hand. There will be much gibberish, because I'm not planning on doing a lick of work. After that, I'll stop in a couple of times a week to say 'Hey' to you guys and keep track of the 500 films challenge. I suspect Jarv is beating me by now.
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Be it 1955 Biff, 2015 Biff, Alternate 1985 #1 Biff, Alternate 1985 #2 Biff, Griff, or Buford "Mad Tog" Tannen. "Why don't you make like a tree, and get outta here!"
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Awesome. I say me and you destroy a TB with Gilmore Girls chatter.
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What if Biff IS a Terminator? And he's just changed his hairstyle over the last few hundred years, because he was sent back in time too far?
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Good guys, that Hartford Insurance. So last week I said I paid my insurance extremely late, but I paid for the entire year. A few days later, we got a notice from the state asking me to surrender my tag and pay a ticket. Well I called the company, they said the policy had been cancelled and they sent me a refund check, but she was going to check on reinstating my policy. A few minutes later, she says they've decided to reinstate the policy and (even better), they will let the Department of Motor Vehicles in my state know that there was NO lapse in payment (how they decided that, when it was almost 2 months late, I dunno- maybe bc I pay for the year?), so I shouldn't get any notices from the state, and I shouldn't be afraid to drive anymore. Oh happy day! Now I just need to do those pesky taxes...
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Nice one indeed!
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Fox is planning a new reality TV show where they take struggling companies, give the employees all of each others' employment info., and then have the employees decide who gets laid off. The Boss cannot be laid off.
"We've...opened up the books to everybody's salary, opened up their HR files and let them talk about each other and to each other -- this one's lazy, this one's a hard worker, I hear this one's having an affair. And in the end they will decide who's to go."
http://tinyurl.com/cthrd7 -
This site shoehorns in an Amazon link. It's actually comical now.
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And wondering why didn't they have the cast of Slumdog come on the show? Was that just too easy?
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Slumdog and the show? Were they on the Indian one?
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FUCK THIS GUY. I'm sick to death of hearing about how this guy has been hired to write a new big franchise picture. Give me a fucking break, the ONLY thing he's made that has been produced is "Street Fighter", and we all know how that shit turned out. Damn these producers are fucking morons. How they think they'll get a good script out of someone who's already writing SIX other scripts is beyond me. Wasn't he just hired within the past month-to-two months to write the Captain Nemo movie and the DC adaptation of Suicide Squad? What, are there absolutely NO other screenwriters in town anymore? Fuck it.
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We wouldn't be jaded for... oh... a year. That's one year of quality writing.
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At least we wouldn't be swamped or stretching ourselves thin with 4 other high profile projects and rewrites of 3 others.
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Damnit, man. I'm sorry to hear that.
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Did you hear? Justin Marks cups.
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Danny?
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Shite. Sorry to hear that, man.In the immortal words of the emminent sage, Bluto Blutarski - "My advice to you is to start drinking heavily."
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Well done, mate. Fame at last. 'Insane' is my guess ;)
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Classy.
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Funny you should say that, I spent a few minutes of my ANOES Part III review simply reading and responding to comments made on the ANOES Part II review at MyMavra.com
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Last week was the 10 year anniversary for when "The Matrix" was released in theaters. I can't believe a decade has gone by already.
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that's depressing...
Luckily, Lost comes on tonight, to wash all that regret away! -
Apr 08, 2009 4:51:15 PM CDT
I can't believe its been SIX years since Matrix 2 & 3 release
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I'm still haunted by their pomposity. Visa vi, ergo, and whatnot. Mind you, i can still close my eyes and see Monica Belluci's funbags spilling out of her dress. That shits burnt into my memory. If they re-released them in 3D IMAX I'd just about have a conniption fit. Monica's ginormous jugs in 3 Dimensions on a humongous screen. The mind boggles.
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Revolutionary and break-through and influential at the time. Its hard to believe its been a decade since that hodgepodge of comic book, anime, religious, philosophical, and technogeek influences came out and stunned us all.
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Its going to be BEN-centric so you KNOW its going to be good. The track record of "Man Behind the Curtain" and "The Shape of Things to Come" predicts good things for tonight. Can't wait!
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Ah, God bless 'em... *heads off to Google Image Search...*
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If you don't stand immediately to attention you are gay. http://tinyurl.com/czjgbt
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Two natural wonders of the world. Who needs the Hanging Gardens Of Babylon when you've got the Belluci Funbags?
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Goddard co-wrote both previous Ben eps. And is awesome.
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Irreversible, and being EXTREMELY jealous of the guy in the underground walkway. I don't know if I can look at Bellucci the same.
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Episodes are almost guranteed to suck the shit out of colostamy bags. As a matter of fact this season SUCKS harder then a meth whore needing a fix.
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And Zedd....maybe not a snag. One was co-written with Vaughan, the other with Sarnoff. And tonight's ep is by those two together. It's gonna be a slooow 7 hours.
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I'd argue 501-505 ruled, but 90% since then... fucking Hell. DHARMA is fucking dull as fuck. I'm confident that this ep won't suck ass, but they better fricking give us a Jughead quality end of S5.
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and looking forward to whatever is going to happen next.
Kate stuff tends to bore me, though. And I was a bit disappointed by the Aaron explanation. I wanted nefarious doings... something more than girl talk and a quick hand-off to Claire's mom.
Tonight is SURE to be better. It's Ben! How could it not be? -
Fred just saying hello
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DV just responding. Killing time until "LOST". Then he disappears.
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Argue all you want but outside of The bomb episode and some of the time travel elements,not handled all that well in my opinion, what excatly was good about it? It's taking on water at a furious Titanic like level.
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things well in The burg?
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Life on Mars replacement? Looks pretty standard, nothing special. Gonna check the trades to see what the highly qualified critics have to muse about it.
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Sawyer being a good leader Finding out the LOSTies are responsible for certain past-Island events Role reversals (Sawyer and Jack, Ben and Locke) Seeing the DI in action. Young Charles Widmore. Young Rousseau. Sayid shooting a certain person. And ah shit I just missed the beginning bc I got caught up listening to my neighbor's daughter yell and scream at him. Damnit.
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I like Harold Perrineau, and I think it looks a bit quirky and different from your usual, standard cop drama.
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She's still way too young. But damn, she was hot in "The Ring". Before the closet scene I mean.
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Kurz muffin.
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Is that things seem to move way too fast for my taste as a result of these shortened seasons. Not that things happen too fast plot-wise, I mean the pace of every episode is whiz-bang fast. We don't seem to get as many nice and intimate character moments as we did before. Sometimes we do, like "The Constant" or Ben in "Shape of Things to Come" after Alex's death. But mostly it seems things get glossed over and go by quickly. I miss the pace of Seasons 1-3.
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"Welcome back to the land of the living," then.
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At least its not season 2.
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TV in your mental diet
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Just saw it. It was ummm ok at best. it was like a typical college movie just better shot. Ohhh and about dancing.
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If you need a bit of a pick-me-up, you can't go wrong with Rocky, right?This officially commences The 6 Days Of Rocky Balboa.I was thinking about cobbling together an epic review of the entire series, but fuck knows what I would do with it. Is that something that could go up over at Mavra's place?
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I skimmed through people's comments about Lost, and I have to admit it kind of piqued my interest. After season 4 I was officially done with Lost, but who knows if I will feel the same way once the season 5 DVD set is available to rent up Blockbuster for a fiver?I would like to know what happens, even if I'm pretty sure I won't like it.
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Apr 09, 2009 3:15:43 AM CDT
Definitely do that Rocky review, Frankie
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Mavra will be all over that. Sounds epic. I look forward to it. Then you must do the 13 Days of Friday the 13th viewing and review.
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My eyes glaze over whenever anyone talks about Lost. I watched about 10 episodes when it first started. That's 10 episodes too many.
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Apr 09, 2009 3:20:49 AM CDT
I watched an episode of 24 last night
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Also some Seinfeld. And some Champions League. And thats it. I'm beginning to question where the fuck all my spare time goes.
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Apr 09, 2009 3:23:42 AM CDT
Plans for the long weekend... Aside from required boozing
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
More of The Wire. Also got my hands on the originial State of Play miniseries which I will watch. Also going to go to the cinema and see Knowing and Fast & Furious. Probably drunk. And sleep. All bar me and one or two mates are pissing off for easter so it's a good opportunity to catch up on some z's and movies. And booze.
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The thing about Lost is it's kind of a TV version of that joke "How do you keep an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you next week." But I am exactly the kind of idiot to get suckered in by it. I like a slowly developing story and I like a bit of mystery, so Lost is right up my alley.Trouble is, it's become this insufferable cock tease, like a stripper who's been threatening to get naked for five hours or so and you just want her to TAKE OFF HER DAMN UNDIES ALREADY!.You know, it's frustrating. But if I leave now, will I miss getting a peek at her sweet, sweet goodies?To introduce another analogy, it's like that point when you've been standing in a queue for ten minutes and you start to think to yourself, "This is too long, I should leave this queue," but then some other part of you says, "But if you leave now, all this waiting will have been for nothing."
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Jesus would be proud.I'm planning on doing much the same. Drinking, films, sleeping, maybe watching some more Seinfeld if my replacement season 8 box set turns up today.
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Apr 09, 2009 3:37:00 AM CDT
"all this waiting will have been for nothing"
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Exactly! That's funny. I took one look at the queue and dumped my doritos on the nearest Wiggles dvd stand and went outside for a smoke, never to return. I love a good unfolding plot. The conspiracy storyline in the x files, the wire, murder one. All great shows that had an unfolding storyline. Difference between them and Lost is that Lost has no fucking clue where its going, and it's spinning its wheels. For 5 years! My typing today is horrendous! I've corrected about a dozen mistakes in this post alone. And I probably missed a dozen more. I need this weekend to happen NOW! AHORA!
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When did Mila Kunis get unbelievably hot? I barely noticed her in anything for the past five years, then all of a sudden she's smoking hot in Forgetting Sarah Marshall and that Extract trailer. She makes my jiblits tingle.
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Apr 09, 2009 3:54:16 AM CDT
I wandered over to Aintitbalenews last night
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Some of it is very funny. And Danny's column is hilarious, especially his quotes from Borgnine etc. But it's all a bit much. There's guys over there with talent, like HOD and Danny, but someone needs to harness their powers for good.
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couldn't happen. they operate on a different theory of time travel.
did you know that there is a real estate company in australia called 'the proffessionals'? its true. i'll get photos. -
Apr 09, 2009 4:01:21 AM CDT
There's no logic in Back To The Terminator, chipps
by franklin t marmoset
In fact, the less logic the better.I'd be perfectly happy if Terminator 4 featured appearances by McFly and Co, Timecop, Guy Pearce off that crappy version of The Time Machine he was in, and Christopher Reeve out of whatever that time travel film he was in was called. Also, the orangutan out of Dunstan Checks In, just for a few additional laughs. And Frasier's dog.And let's throw in Mila Kunis while we're at it. Droid's right - she's hot.
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it was his dads dog
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If Astro Lesbians can battle Werewolves on the Moon then Marty and Doc can battle Biffs hoarde of Billy Zane Terminators. With Frodo watching on. "You mean you have to use your hands? Thats like a baby's toy!" I'm bored.
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In Terminator 4, there is a time paradox caused by Biff Tannen going back to the early nineties to get an acting part on Frasier so he can fuck that skinny English bird, and this paradox caused the timeline to be irrevocably altered. In this new timeline, the dog belongs to Frasier, not his dad.See, it all makes perfect sense.
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The part of Niles Crane is played by Paul Walker out of Timeline.
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Apr 09, 2009 4:15:11 AM CDT
That SHORTS trailer looks godawful
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
What the fuck is Rodriguez doing? Those bullshit kiddie flicks were acceptable when he was pumping out genre flicks, but he is no longer as prolific he's not allowed to waste his time on this kind of bullshit.
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different theories of time travel. In fact they made terminator 3 because of me (but they didn't make it shit because of me - that was their own doing) see, the conclusion of t2 is illogical. the way i see it is there are two main theories of time travel. the first one i call the mcfly theory (the back to the future theory for the lay). this is otherwise known as the 'kill your grandfather' theory. why they pick grandfather i don't know, father would be enough, but whatever. in this theory you can change the timeline or there are multiple timelines that you can move between (demensions ect). the second theory i call the twelve monkies theory, that the past presupposes you will travel from the future to it, that while for your own personal timeline you have not gone back until you do so, for the rest of the universe this has already occured. thus the events of the present have already factored in what you do in the past, which for you occurs in the future. in other words you can't change the past. the first terminator was definatly colesk. the terminators go back in time, are followed and simultainiusly create themselves and their destructor. conner existed prior to the decision to go back in time, thus we are talking you can't change the past, twelve monkey stlye. BUT in terminator 2 they seemingly destroy the tecnology that leads to the war, thus by travelling back in time THE TIMELINE IS ALTERED. this makes NO SENSE. they have switched theories. I wrote a strongly worded letter telling them that the assumed result of the ending need to be changed.
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Franklin, hell yes I would be all over an epic Rocky review. Who wouldn't love something like that? Btw, I gave you a shout-out in the 1986 review I posted last night (it was a moral imperative). Series and Kungfu sent me their comic reviews and I will get them posted as soon as I can figure out how to get it right with the pictures they need as accompaniments. They've put a lot of work into it and I don't want to screw it up.
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he hated that dog.
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i hate my job, and there is not much out there, but we in oz have been a bit insulated.
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Apr 09, 2009 4:21:19 AM CDT
In the Back to the Terminator flick
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
there is also a scene set in 2018 where Denzel Washington dons time machine goggles and trails Robert Patrick through pre-judgement day LA. All to track down Wayne and Garth, who hold the secret to mankinds survival.
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i pity the fool
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hmm, interesting. where does bill and ted fit into this?
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those banner ads work.
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Apr 09, 2009 4:25:50 AM CDT
Time travel theories are always full of holes
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
You just have to accept them. I think BTTF does it best by glossing over the holes, especially when it comes to the sequels.
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Apr 09, 2009 4:28:18 AM CDT
Bill and Ted get put in the Iron Maiden
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
"IRON MAIDEN!" *Air guitar ensues*
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all i ask is they are consistent to their own facts. flying car? cool. but if you ask us to accept something as being part of that universe, just make sure the rest of the things people do is consistent with that.
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today is psudo friday for me as i don't have to go to work tomorrow. also, like a good aussie i have stocked up on grog cause vice is banned on good friday and the bottle'os are shut. cause right now on earth I can't do jack,
without the man up on my back
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Apr 09, 2009 4:35:30 AM CDT
did you just make a horny cat noise, chipps?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Funny. I think we can all agree that the best time travel flick of all time is... A SOUND OF THUNDER
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Apr 09, 2009 4:37:30 AM CDT
aaah... the ol' pre-good friday booze run
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Those were the days. I'm seven hours away from my long weekend. And it's taking FOREVER!
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everyone wants prawns and four x on good friday, but no fucker sells it. what the fuck kind of law is that?
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That's funny, chipps.Me, I don't believe in time and therefore don't believe in time travel, so my feeling is you can be as goofy as you like when creating a time travel story. And that includes changing Frasier into a dog lover.Good call on bringing Bill and Ted into the story, by the way. No time travel story is complete without them. Also, we should get Station in there somewhere.STATION!
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Once I've made my way through all six Rockys, I'll have a bash at writing a review. It may be good, it may be bad, or it may be horribly long and indulgent (the literary term for which is Harry-esque), but I can guarantee you it will be mostly about Rocky.
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Sam Beckett needs to make an appearance. And Al.
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What was that other flick we came up with that Renny needed to make? It was a week or so ago. I can't for the life of me remember.
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Apr 09, 2009 4:53:20 AM CDT
having said that this is country where law breaking is asumed.
by chipps
for example one of my biggest days for the year is comming up: anzac day. a funny thing happened about 4 years ago. we have this national game (i know you know droid) called two up. it is the only game we all agree on - i can't stand what they call aussie rules (i call it by its real name, vfl). two is a gambling game where you bet on the outcome of tossing two coins. it gets very rowdy. every pub in oz does it, and it gets full on. as the night gets long the army guys beat the shit out of the navy and air force guys. droid you may not know this story. a lot of our local pubs have been bought out by conglomerates and run with very small profit. this is because you need every bottlo to be licenced by a pub. a loop hole means they can be widly separated, but if you want to open a bottlo you need to own a pub (i think it is two bottlos per pub). so the pubs are owned by conglomerations. this is new. some boffin lawyer for one of the conglomerates looked at the books and realised that in queensland the playing of two up in queensland is illigal (gambling without a licence in general is) and that there is no specific law over riding this. thus the playing of two up is illigal on anzac day. this stopped being inforced in the 20s because of rioting in vic and nsw (qld was too corupt to worry about it) but the conglormates didn't want controversy so they said no two in their pubs on anzac day (most fucking pubs), they looked it up in nsw and vic and it was the same. the army, the rsl, most aussies went fucking apeshit. the law never got changed, but both the prime minister and the premiers told the police what every sensical person already knew, the law will not be enforced on anzac day. still i did get chased by the cops last year, but that was on a different matter.
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For shame, droid. How could you forget what would surely be a masterpiece?
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Station is from Bill & Ted 2. It's these two ugly alien things that can turn into one giant ugly alien thing, and all it can say is "Station!"
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So they'll always look the other way. Aussie Rules is what it is now chipps. Move on. Get over it. The greater sport has ascended to the throne and will not relinquish it!
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force em backs.
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you don't play cricket on a vfl field. vfl: played at the mcg in the off season.
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when i return i will be drunker.
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Apr 09, 2009 5:12:59 AM CDT
Snoop Holmes & Flavour Watson!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Yes! My brain isn't what it used to be, Frankie. Forgive me. I've been meaning to get into writing again, and I was thinking it would be hilarious (and much more fun) to ease into it by attempting to write a script based on one of the CoC's ridiculous ideas. It would surely be terrible, but it would help me get into the swing of writing again. Astro Lesbos Vs Werewolves on the Moon would be fun to write I think.
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It's quality. Look forward to your inebriated return.
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Flavour is far too English.You should give it a try, droid. It's actually a pretty good laugh and a lot easier than regular writing because you've already got a bunch of ideas to play with (plus, you don't have to take it too seriously). I started two scripts from ideas we came up with on the AICN (both from the pre-CoC days), but I was too lazy to finish either of them. One was about a guy named Ike Hill, who was tortured by his own name and ended up going on a killing spree (it was supposed to be funny), and the other was this thing where we assembled a team of cool badasses, all of whom were played by action actors, but it looks like Sylvester Stallone has taken that ball and ran with it.
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I used to keep abandoning scripts half way through. I'm too easily dis-TRAC-ted. I need to become like that Justin Marks guy. Constantly hired by studios to write shitty scripts based on shitty toys or video games.
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Apr 09, 2009 6:25:58 AM CDT
I was perusing my Gilmore Girls DVD last night...
by franklin t marmoset
...and I noticed there's an episode in there directed by Rodman Flender.Who's Rodman Flender, you ask?Rodman Flender directed Leprechaun 2! Now, Leprechaun 2 may not be the best of the series, but it tickled me to see that Leprechaun and Gilmore Girls share a common link.Rodman Flender also directed Idle Hands, which is recommended to anyone who likes the goofier horrors. It's a shameless rip-off of Evil Dead II, but worth a watch.
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Though since you hated the job to begin with, I guess it ain't all bad.Just think of all the nice #2 pencils you can leave in their mouths as a departing gift....
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Apr 09, 2009 6:33:59 AM CDT
I know it's early...but it's nice to see the Yanks 0-2
by just pillow talk
They'll be fine, but I want to hear some panic outta the Yankee fans.
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Apr 09, 2009 6:34:14 AM CDT
Idle Hands is the one with Alba in it?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
And the bloke from Final Destination? One good moment from that flick was the hand ripping the scalp off the lead singer from The Offspring. Funny.
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And clearly they would be better than at least 6 - 8.5% of the stuff that's out there right now.
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Clearly you overestimate me, JPT. Justin Marks I ain't.
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Jessica Alba is a little young in it, and it's possibly her worst performance (which is really saying something), but my god she looks good in that film.I also really liked the slacker Zombies in Idle Hands. Those are my kind of zombies - the kind who would rather sit on the sofa and watch a zombie film while eating snacks than got out and do some proper zombie business.
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I didn't hate it here at first, but it went downhill badly in the last couple of months.Anyway, today is my last day. After some 'negotiation' with the bosses, I've wangled next week off as paid leave. Supposedly to start the job search early, but I suspect I may get some zombie slacking of my own done. I also have an epic Rocky review to write.
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The preferable strength of beer. Love me some Leffe. Those Belgians and their beers. Wacky funsters they be.
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Well, that's preferable to another week in the shitty office. You gots to get yo self some interwebs at the casa del Frankie. So you can keep ramblin'.
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"Why didn't you go into the light?"
"It was too far, man!" -
hows it going?
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I just got through reading your Nomads review. That's one of those films I've never gotten around to seeing, but you made it sound pretty good. I'll have to check that one out.
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Surely you jest?
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Sigh...I miss those days.
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Been busy working on the house..and of course the internet monitoring done by these IT monkey fuckheads is beyond annoying.
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Are you definitely having a bash at Astro Lesbians? Coz I've been scribbling a few things down in between writing something else. If you're gonna do it then I can cease and desist. Can't seem to get Lesbians out of my head at the moment.I should rephrase that. But I won't.
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I forgot how venomous and unpleasant many of the people who post here can be. A lot of them don't even seem to like films that much, they just like going "This is shit" "That sucks" "You're a moron" "YOU'RE A MORON!!"It's sort of depressing, all these angry assholes gathered together in one place to be angry assholes to each other.
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I've been considering it for a while, but haven't got too far with it. Just thinking about it and trying to come up with some sort of rationale explanation why there would be werewolves on the moon. It's a nutty concept and as soon as I crack it I'll be off to the races. The Lesbians write themselves. Especially as I've already cast Kate Beckinsale and Rhona Mitra in the lead roles. I'm trying to figure a way to shoehorn a zero gravity lesbo sex scene into it. That'll challenge my creativity!
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If you can't think of a rational explanation - go with plain ludicrous! Works for me...
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Good luck with the job hunting, mate. In the meantime: Booze.
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reading the other TB's, Franklin. It's just hate for hate's sake. Basking in annonymity, they just pile on the nastiness. Just be nice. You cunt.
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ticket procured for Let The Right One In on Sat'day. Yay.Laters.
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if you can get beyond the fact the monsters look like rejects from a Scandal video. Dark evil spirits embodied in an 80s punk gang.
Otherwise, I was surprised how creepy it seemed,even today.
Frankie, did you see the Cat's Eye review? We are discussing "little horror". Am I imagining this, or are you the guy who talked to me about "Pinochio's Revenge" or something like that, awhile back? -
Apr 09, 2009 8:01:22 AM CDT
I was saying it a few weeks ago, Frankie
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
It's amazing how few flicks the hoarde of bitching bitches actually like. Everyone and everthing is shit. That's why I rarely leave the comfort of the Twitch.
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it was formulayic but craved it self a corner at the same time. i told my gf how these movies work and it played out exactly expect for *****spoiler****** in revenge films the main character usually dies at the end
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Some Talbot type, cursed with the lycanthropy, still can't find a cure even though it's far in the future. When colonies start going up on the moon, Talbot wonders why it's the moon that makes him change-Maybe, he suspects the effects are earth-bound, or maybe, mostly psychological. If he never had to glance up in the sky and see the moon, sitting there, evoking his fear, would he change at all? So, he hops a shuttle to the moon in hopes that he will have evaded either the effects of the lunar cycle, or that the psychological trigger will be gone.
Maybe Talbot stand-in is recruited by a group of werewolves on earth who convince him of this idea, but in reality they only want the moon so they can create their own enclave and start a new tribe. Maybe it's just Talbot alone that initiates the new batch of wolves.
Maybe the effect is they are werewolves all the time, and once in while, when it's a full earth, they become human. Ok, that last one is just dumb, but isn't that the point here? -
i've been working on a super hero for 15 years, but i just can't draw. he is well developed and so i'm making a script.
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The problem is I was wanting to open it with a standalone scene set in the 60's where we see that the Russians actually got to the moon first. They land and get wiped out by a marauding pack of vicious moonwolves. None of that would be televised, and the russians cover it up so no one knows that they were there. Then we can essentially cut to any time we want. Maybe a near future where the moon is colonised or somesuch. So to rationalise a marauding pack of moonwolves i'm probably going to have to throw logic out the window.
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I don't know about Pinochio's Revenge, but I remember rambling about completing the Mark Jones trilogy of tiny horror - Leprechaun, Rumpelstiltskin and Dummy (AKA Triloquist).That guy likes small things that can kill you.
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your ike hill idea reminds me of one of mine. when i was a kid a used to read about serial killers a lot (my grandma had a lot of true crime books at her house for my cousin who is a copper) my favourite story is of dahmer, who as a child decapitated the family cat, put the head on a stick and took it to his room to pray to.i keep thinking about like a capper flick with this guy doing his shit. we must hate him of course, but it does take skill and ingenuity to do this. plus the stress of persecution and the endless pursuit by your enemy. so here is the cernal of my story. i think in the 60s this german australian family (all of this is true by the way) went on holiday to argentia (i think) there they traveled through the boon docks and went to this small german community. while staying there the teenage daughter gets knocked up by an arsitractic stlye older man. in shame they return to oz and the kid goes into foster care. mengele's child (unknown sex) lives in oz, prob unaware of it. he would be in his forties now. this is genuinly true. you can see the story i would make from this.
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Apr 09, 2009 8:18:54 AM CDT
Did anyone see that killer doll movie...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
made by the Saw guy? I think it was a killer doll. It had funny looking dolls in it.
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those days are now!
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That figures. I'll be all alone in this TB.I ask everyone to give the Bale site a chance after I get the new design up. I'll have my daily rants, and explicit movie and music reviews and the other guys will be more motivated to contribute regularly. And Danny always finds something hysterical to post. Something should be up and running in a week.I drank rum all night with my dad and watched nature shows. There's a guy who looks just like Michael Palin who wrestles snakes and swims with piranhas who is quite entertaining.So I have The Spirit at home. Is it worth watching drunk?
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it may have come through already, but i love to have a gauntlet thrown at me. and son, i'll put your wearwolfs on the moon, i swear i will. and to back this up, i am currently working on a movie that has the working title of: ninjas vs pirates.
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Fuck thats hard work. I don't know that anything could improve it. It's in no way fun, which I think is necessary to benefit from booze. If I'm drunk and the movies just plain shit and not fun I tend to get distracted.
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Why not just make were-wolves some sort of alien-thingee? Like they are some awful, awful crap of the galaxy that everyone hates so they were exiled to the moon. At some point, some of them crashland on earth in the 1600s or something and bite the humans, infecting them with the alien wolf disease. Maybe they sort of resemble wolves which is why they get called "were-wolves" in the first place. That way, there they are, werewolves on the moon...always have been, always will be.
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Possibly the greatest combination since bundy and coke!
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It's weird, I don't remember that last section of the film at all. I remember the James Woods bit, and the bit where the Airplane guy climbs around the building, but the other one has been completely erased from my memory. I always thought the third part was about Drew Barrymore and a cat, but that's obviously not right.As to your talk about small monsters, Dummy is fairly recent (only a couple of years ago, I think), but it's straight to DVD and not inventive or good or interesting or any of the things people normally like in films. It's just a crappy knock-off of The Devil's Rejects, but with a ventriloquist's dummy.
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he's what i got (drunk now) wear wolf come from the moon, but on earth they are exterminated. the russians kick some fucking rock, enter a cave whatever while building a city on the moon, and everything goes to hell, with some of the infected getting back to earth.
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You've got my money, chipps. I would happily pay to watch a film called Ninjas Vs Pirates.
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but i fucking hate that shit. i'll leave it for the hicks (though to be fair my dad pours bundy into his beers)
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Apr 09, 2009 8:32:52 AM CDT
I just have this picture in my head of...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
the russians celebrating their moonlanding, only to see a marauding band of moonwolves caning across the surface towards them. For some reason the wolves are there, and the zero gravity doesn't effect them, so they are fast. And we see these russians trying to run, really slowly, with those big slow moon steps while the moonwolves chase them down and rip them apart. I find it amusing.
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That's half the fun of the concept - they're werewolves... and they're on the moon!Fuck knows how you explain that or make it work, but that is the talking pie of the film right there.
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there is a major chain of real estate agents in australia called 'the professionals'ill get you pitures.
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I stand corrected and humbly apologize for my shortsightedness.
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Apr 09, 2009 8:36:46 AM CDT
Yeah, they have to be werewolves
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I was thinking of tying it into the mysterious 'dark side of the moon'. I think we would just have to throw in a comment/explanation and just never mention it again. Gloss over that sucker.
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and I'm digging the Russians getting wiped out and then covering it up.
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thanks man. i imagine bedlam
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them, making them sort of a super-breed of werewolf. Bark at the Moon would be on the soundtrack of course.
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It's one of the russian astronauts who went up on the original mission. He never realised he was a werewolf, maybe a descendant of a long dormant bloodline, but the proximity to the moon has amplified the effect. And they land and he turns.
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so we need to work our story around that madness. nice. okenter alien ship lands, extreme high technology. we don;t realise they are aliens cause they look like us. they are looking for life. they disturb a colony of hibenating wear wolves. at this stage we think this is future humans on a far distant planet. they over run the explorers. 'the humans' the newly regeguvenated wear wolves run full plealt across the moon, we only realise what is realy going on when in the distance we see the star and hammer, antiquated tecnology and some marshmellow man scooping up a rock. the wear wolves, haveing killed the human looking aliens go through the russians like butter
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just that werewolves originated from space, not from earth. They had a whole culture set up there on the moon long before the russians got there. In fact, why not just set the whole movie around this storyline? Make it some sort of thing where the russians go up, get there first perhaps, and get trapped. Neil and company come up behind him, and have some whole adventure involving the werewolves, the russians and a maruading group of lesbian humanoids out joyriding from a nearby solar system.
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What a waste of bandwidth.Jonah, since you're reviewing all these oldie horror films, why not try that Spanish movie you helped me to remember about the invisible monster?Well, I'm off to my safe haven for a few minutes.
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Apr 09, 2009 8:56:49 AM CDT
I like the idea of having that as a pre-credits scene
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Then maybe setting it in a future where the moon is colonised. For some reason the werewolves are dormant since the russians landed, so all those future missions went as history remembers. Maybe earth has a population problem on Earth and they have deported all Lesbians to a colony on the moon.
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where Neil Armstrong tear-asses across the moon on the rover, lesbian on each arm, screaming "One small step for man...game over for YOU!!" as he just smashes through a horde of were-wolves.
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That was my first TB with you guys. I rolled up and started performing the party trick of "let me guess your obscure movie." Never expected to hang around. Good times.
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This has been bugging me and a friend of mine lately and it just occured to me that one of you fine people must know the answer.What is the name of the film - I think it's from the 60s or 70s - where a guy goes into space and comes home to find everything is backwards? I think it turns out he's on a backwards version of Earth or something, and the backwards version of him is on normal Earth giving it to his normal wife? I'm sure I remember a scene where he realises what's going on when he reads the label on a bottle in a mirror. Maybe.Anyone know this? It was not a demented fever dream, because my friend also remembers it, but neither of us know what it was called.
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Or all the men die of something odd about the moon, leaving women, and over time...there you go.
Turns out the only males on the moon that can survive are all werewolves. So maybe some of the lesbians meet the werewolves, and become "confused". -
But how can I fit it in?
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Apr 09, 2009 9:05:38 AM CDT
That sounds like the Red Dwarf episode
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
where they land on a backwards earth. Speaking of which. I must watch the new Red Dwarf this weekend.
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Journey to the Far Side of the Sun. At least I think it is. I remember seeing it as a kid, and it has the same plot you describe, mostly. Check it out and let me know:
http://monsterhunter.coldfusionvideo.com/Journey.html -
Apr 09, 2009 9:09:14 AM CDT
Yeah, I just need a workable explanation...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
a) why the wolves are on the moon. b) why all the women are lesbians c) how i can get neil armstrong on a rover with a lesbo on each arm ploughing through a pack of werewolves.
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and have the werewolf forces completely decimate the moon and destroy almost everyone by the mid point of the movie, then pull out the classic time travel device that means they have to go back in time and help Armstrong and co. destroy the wolves before they become such a powerful force.
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goes back to our conversation of before 'that movie is gay'. this group actully likes movies. impressive echo
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Apr 09, 2009 9:11:32 AM CDT
Thats some good movie knowledge, Jonah
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
the wiki link is http://tinyurl.com/czld9g
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if they are carpet lickers why do we care that armstrong has one on each arm? they have to be boaderline pillow fighters.
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talking about movies and creating insane ideas was exactly how this group started out. Seems it's come back to that.
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Some UK television screenings of this movie have been derived from a incorrectly-prepared master.[1] In order to create the illusion of a mirror-Earth - such as reversed writing and driving on the "wrong" side of the road - the film was shot as normal, but the mirror-Earth sequences were then subjected to a optical process known as "flop-over", which created the mirror-image effect. This was significantly quicker and cheaper than building sets and props with reversed elements and having to close roads in order to shoot sequences involving driving on the wrong side. At some subsequent point prior to a UK TV screening, TV company staff viewed the print supplied by the film distributor and, not being familiar with the plot, concluded that the mirror-Earth sequences had been optically reversed in error. A second flop-over was applied to return the image to normal, and this went on to become the standard transmission version from that point onwards. This version, if screened, makes viewers think that a "mirror" Colonel Ross has landed on the "real" Earth.
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you get banned jonah? i'm lost.
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just saying
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Armstrong is clearly manly enough to immediately convert them. That could be the basis of the joke, or Armstrong doesn't know they are lesbians, his macho 50s male ego thinks they are fighting over him, when they are just trying to get at each other. Have your pick.
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they are lesbians out of circumstance, not choice. All the men on the moon colony have turned or evolved into werewolves, and the women have no choice but to turn to each other for sexual gratification.
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Somehow, I wasnt able to use my old ID, and though my posts were still there, no matter what I tried I couldnt get back on, so instead of trying to condescend to Harry and co. I said screw it and made up a new one, playing off the Gandalf motif.
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that was my suggestion above. The men die and over time the women get...accustomed to one another. So by the end, you have three choices, stick with the ladies, go wolf, or get onboard the Armstrong express.
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Yes, I remember a year ago how we decided to hijack the Twitch columns and then the rest of you fine folk started pouring in and contributing daily to the conversations.I want to see that scene with Neil Armstrong right now.
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Yep, the only issue with that is I'd have to drop my russian opening scene because it wouldn't really make any sense.
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Look at that. I ask a question, go for a fag, and when I come back it's been answered.I should be able to get myself a pint out of this, because we were wracking our slightly drunken brains the whole night trying to remember what that film was.
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maybe Neil rams all the wolves into Echo crater on the moon or something.
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it can explain why the wolves are on the moon...the time-device, for whatever reason takes them to AFTER the russian landing but not the american one. See, since history only knows of Armstrong's landing, maybe the characters assume thats the one where the wolves got on the moon. But in actuality, the entire russian moon team are wolves and it's americans and lesbians vs russians, the way it was always meant to be.
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my begings with this group was the 2012 talk back. you crazy bastards
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Apr 09, 2009 9:27:30 AM CDT
His rover can be Echo 1 or somesuch
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Or one of the lesbo's that flocks to his elbow can be called Echo.
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armstrong have a mustache? please?
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Apr 09, 2009 9:29:26 AM CDT
I'm going to have to print out this tb
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
and organise the plot points. Some good work has been done here today.
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on the island of lesbos, offa greece the men were all off fighting so the chicks, well, you know. personally i find this story hard to belive cause it involves greeks fighting.
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...that kicked things off? I know I talked to a bunch of you in various TBs before that (mainly Vern TBs), but I seem to remember us rambling on about ideas for DTV films in that one before we shifted over to the Twitches.
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Apr 09, 2009 9:36:01 AM CDT
I was a little late to the group i think
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
It was in a Twitch TB that I got involved.
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but before i do, i'd like to point out that i deffinatly have the biggest penis. even thought i haven't seen your penis, i know mine is bigger. i'm just saying.
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be cool
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Do they allow sex toys in Queensland?
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I think this is where it all started:http://www.aintitcool.com/node/35248I'm feeling all nostalgic today. I reckon I'll save a copy of that and read it this weekend. It's a bit fucking long, though.
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Have a good one, mate.
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Drink plenty of water before you go to sleep, mate.
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That guy was funny.He has his own site now. I should probably wander over there and check it out.
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and then we followed it to another 2012 tb where we started writing our own alternate script...and the one that solidified who we are
was the Outlander TB which we took to some crazy, astronomical number...after that we just kept hopping til we found Twitch... -
Fred home sick. Can post inbetween coughing up parts of lung
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Horrible film
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Apr 09, 2009 9:58:29 AM CDT
Frankie & everyone else really....
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
My email is iamnotthedroidyouarelookingfor@gmail.com Without any spaces that no doubt appear.
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Made fuck all sense, and was filled with plot-holes... but it ruled anyway. Why? Because it was batshit insane.
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That brilliantly naff opening where the guy rides into camp on a fucking horse, his bad wig flowing in the wind, climbs off the horse and starts yelling for Richard.
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Making Illana and Caesar even more crap and pointless than they already were. Fuck, at this stage Illana changes character from episode to episode.
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Apr 09, 2009 10:00:59 AM CDT
Zedd, you gave it a horrible review
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
But still two stars! What gives?
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Illana and Caesar are like Nikki and Paulo on crystal meth. Can you believe they wanted to open S5 with those two awful characters? Fuck, that would have gone down worse than Locke on Jacob.
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Jesus, those things got horribly long.And, here I am , still not seen Outlander. Assuming the postal system/junkie assholery does not screw me over again, that should be remedied shortly.
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where the current iteration of the C.O.C. fully formed I think. There were one or two before this one, but I think this was the synergy moment..
http://www.aintitcool.com/node/37350 -
I gave it two stars? Yeah, this is why I don't give marks out of five anymore.
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What's up, dude?
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enjoying Lost lately, especially last evening's episode. Go figure. Maybe it's because at the same time Ive been watching the awful season 4 of Buffy. At least that thing is over.
Seriously though, Lost's ep last night was quite good and I think it telegraphed some of the direction for the rest of the series. -
I like batshit insane much better than 'we're slowly setting up the finale' eps.
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yourself? We were here commenting on how this thread has become like the kinder gentler threads of yore...or YOR, if you prefer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q39f4YzK6sU -
What a film.
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And it further proves that Ben is one of the best, most complicated characters they have going. It's odd to think he was barely an afterthought in season 2 and now he's one of the compelling pieces, while conversely the so called stars like Jack and Kate generate hardly more than a yawn. It's Ben and John's island, they are all just living on it.
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Need a job... beer... woman. Not necessarily in that order.
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I was skimming through it, and my first post was rambling about LL Cool J and Jarv's contained the line "Fuck off you little twat".We don't appear to have progressed much since then.
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I hate that they put Ben over everyone else... but at this stage, I don't care. He's entertainingly random, and despite his repeated lying and manipulating... it's nice that FINALLY Locke has the upper hand.
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where Danny revealed his contempt for films like Princess Bride and Aliens and then started talking up Martin Lawrence films. I even got flustered to the point I confessed to eating orphans, and while you couldn't see Jarv's face, it read like someone had just pissed in his wheaties. Good times.
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Called "Dead Silent" maybe, or some variation of that. The premise was that when this doll/ghost/witch thing was stalking you, if you yelled out to scream- THAT was when it killed you. So you had to try and contain your fear and not cry out. I was doing work while it was on. It was a bit weird. But Donnie Wahlberg was in it.
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it was quite gratifying. I hate the eps where John is a whiny little mess without purpose. I thought for sure they would end up turning him into a villain after season 3. The most pleasant surprise of the last few seasons is the fact they are finally acknowledging him as the true hero of the show.
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if whether a movie is crap. If he is in more than five minutes, then it's going to suck hard. I recall Dreamcatcher, and he showed up as a retarded guy who morphed into a big orange alien at the end.
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Me wanna see! Also the nature programs- are you sure it wasn't Michael Palin? I think he hosts travel shows now, or did, or... something like that. Actually I think the guy you're talking about is that Nigel fellow. I think I saw that episode 2 weeks ago where he was swimming with piranha to prove how not dangerous they are. He also did a show where he went back in time to study dinosaurs, but the whole affair was shot like a regular nature show- handheld cameras, etc. He seems like a cool fellow.
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That thread is almost a year old and we're talking about all the same stuff in there. There's even an exchange between me and Jonah about Dummy and Cat's Eye!
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I remember wanting to see why Twitch was always at the top of the TBs. Then I came in and saw we were discussing everything from dumbhouse flicks to Radiohead. I joined in by helping Danny remember "Invaders From Mars", but I think Echo may have beaten me to it. So actually, it was probably before that TB you just posted, Echo. I was also part of the "miniphant" conversation (I may have coined the phrase). But, since my entire TB history was deleted during that stupid Merrick/Star Trek Trailer Music debacle a few weeks ago, I guess I'll never know.
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Where Locke was a WHINY LITTLE BITCH who ignored Richard's 'you have to die' and Christian's 'dying is the sacrifice' comments to FUCKING ATTEMPT TO COMMIT SUICIDE. That's not Locke. I choose to believe the scene started with his murder.
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I was extremely happy to find a TB full of good people engaging in a wide range of very good topics. And being civil about it too! On AICN? Amazing.
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Should be up on MyMavra later. It's hard to rant about a good episode.
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and I choose to think it's because John was out of touch with the island and back in touch for the first time since his healing, with the world he always felt so helpless in.
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Apr 09, 2009 10:29:15 AM CDT
I came in way after you guys...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Around September or October I think. It was a twitch I'm pretty sure and Jarv and I were discussing all the sequels we'd like to see and who should make them. Thats when he started pimping Neil Marshall for Alien 5 i think.
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The end of 505 suggests Locke accepts that he'll die, but not in a 'pitiful' way. It's like he understands that it's for the greater good. Then in 507, it's 'let's fucking beat the awesome out of Locke' for an entire hour. Pissed me off then, and now.
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that we are quite literally all the way back to the same conversations..
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I'll be stopping by to say hello now and then, but that's it for the regular rambling.If anyone needs it: franklin_t_marmoset@yahoo.co.ukI hope everyone has a good Easter and whatnot. See you all soon.
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Stay in touch, mate.
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I'll email you soon...good luck with the job hunt.
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Apr 09, 2009 10:52:20 AM CDT
it's amazing how little I even look at other threads now
by just pillow talk
Seriously, like you boys said above, there's always 32 reviews of the same fucking movie up. WTF?
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Apr 09, 2009 10:53:45 AM CDT
I'll have to email the douche with some movie suggestions
by just pillow talk
as part of our TMEP, though without Netflix now, I'm prone to watching older films now.
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which he just threw up(both literally and figuratively) he posts this about Vinyan:
A tremendous film that isn’t strictly horror, but belongs in the genre, no doubt. This – along with DONKEY PUNCH – is a film that if you love stuff that you can’t believe you’re witnessing… you’ll love. If you’re easily disturbed, both should be avoided. But this is oh so good!
Ok, I've did an overview of it over at Mavra two days ago, and managed to say more than that. Seriously, I don't think we watched the same movie (there was very little truly disturbing in there) but he's so vague he could be talking about anything.
For fans of movies they cant believe they are witnessing...What? -
..industry news. But considering all the finger pointing, gnashing of teeth and general hand-wringing, maybe a feature is in order?
See, in spite of how "piracy" (aka downloading in more educated circles)has been "taking the food out of the mouths of P.A.'s and set designers' progeny", it turns out this was a banner year for the movie biz in general. The fact that this story arrives today, only less than a couple of handfuls of days after the big Wolverine story, I believe is worth pointing out and thinking about. At least a little. Here's the story, but "google news" it for a bigger picture. Seems internationally the industry is booming as well. So take it as you will.
Film Industry Bucks the Economic Trend:
http://tinyurl.com/cfh7g6
Oh, but I'm sure it's still "just this" and "just that". -
For Alien 5? I thought the same thing after Descent. He nails the claustrophobia AND powerful female characters. And the slow burn and build. Whoever suggested that first is genius.
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he's a big Marshall fan. So, far he hasn't missed. I enjoy Dog Soldiers, loved the Descent, and Doomsday is a great popcorn flick.
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My biggest problem with the Day the Earth Stood Still remake was the ending, and Harry's assessment of that is the same as mine. The entire "End of the World" scenario ends and NO ONE knows what the fuck happened. And wasn't all electricity turned off? So how the fuck are people on the other side of the world supposed to know that Klaatu died to save them? Or that they were all given a second chance? For all they know, the military saved the day and the aliens were defeated. No one knows jack shit by the end, which makes the entire affair POINTLESS and Klaatu's sacrifice all for naught.
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that wasn't my feeling, as much as simply his human body was deteriorated. It seemed like he was flying off at the end, and lil' Willie makes some comment about him leaving-which I understand in the real world when a 9 yr old makes an observation, that doesnt make it correct, but in a brainless movie they always have the child say something they want everyone to know.
Actually, it's not even a really happy ending. Klaatu waits so long, a good portion of the world gets eaten up if you pay attention to the geographical cues and now it's going to be complete savage anarchy. Good job Canoe, good job.
They never, ever should have touched this movie. -
I thought that was the impression. He died for our sins, yet another Christ allegory (and another for Keanu!). But even if he didn't die, the movie still fucked up by not showing the entire world what happened- that they were spared and given a second chance.
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I think the prob fell in the fact that it wasn't initially Klaatu's intention in this version.He gets to be changed by the girl and the kid. Lame, and it means there now isn't a truly definitive purpose to his actions other than "save the world". In the original, Klaatu offered up an ultimatum. Far better.
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Complete and utter garbage. The military's response to an alien force that could eliminate us in an instant was one of the worst bits of writing ever.And that ending? Don't get me started.And I'm convinced Harry doesn't watch the movies he reviews on his DVD page. His reviews are so obscure he could be talking about a fly buzzing around a pile of dogshit.I don't care if all you jerks have tomorrow off. Log in and keep me company. Happy Easter all.
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comes across as a tosser, but i did like him in band of brothers. i listened to the commentary on saw 2. he was hilarious. there was this one part where he was 'so tobin inprovised in this scene. he picked up the cup and drank the water, which wasn't in the script. and as an actor i had to decide to decide if i was going to run with it, or if we would stop the scene and stick to the script'
dude, you are in movie where rube golburg machines kill people. it ain't shaesphere. it is best noted as the movie where the chick from 7th heaven makes her foray into horror. not the famous one. the plainer younger sister. tool -
Harry's column is as boring, nonsensical, and vague as ever. Blah, blah, blah.How goes it HOD? Seen any crazy movies lately?
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i didn't think he died. but it makes sense given the story so i guess he might have. i kinda thought the same, but i let it slide. it was something people coulda figured out.
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I watched Rough Cut recently which was just a fucking phenomenal flick. You'd blow your wad six ways to Sunday over it.Well, time to commence the drinking.
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There was more yesterday. I rambled about an AICN review.
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Drinking? Yikes. Need someone to laugh with your posts?
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Doesn't that star Burt Reynolds?
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did you happen to see my post above about Ip Man's treatment of the Japanese characters? I don't think anyone else has offered to discuss it yet, but I think it's an important discussion related to the movie.
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I too got extremely pissed that the American military was all "Shoot first, ask questions later" against an obviously vastly superior race. And then they practically take Klaatu hostage/prisoner? The STUPIDITY of it all!!!
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I just remembered my rationale for Werewolves on the Moon from our discussion many months ago. One of the astronauts, bfore going up on a scheduled trip to the moon, is bitten by a "wild dog". He checks out ok and goes on with the mission, but when he gets to the moon, all HELL breaks loose. NASA and Mission Control lose contact with the moonbase and have no idea what's happened. So they send another team up, a search and rescue team of sorts. But when they get there, they find the only things living on the moon... are WEREWOLVES!!! I've thought of taking a crack at that obvious bit of fun dumbhouse, but I've been so incredibly busy lately, its just been an afterthought- a note resting in my grande little notebook of ideas.
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Harpers Island? Sounds like a cheesy slasher movie.
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Sucked. Could've been good but no sucked. Alright I need to go get ass rapped by paying someone to do my taxes which are just going to ass rape me again. It's a good ole Series7 tag team.
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But unfortunately, we're going out to dinner for a friend's birthday, which means I'll miss out on both. Shit! I havent done my taxes either!
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Shit, if you need a co-writer give me a buzz.
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I finally got my work on damn web. I'm writing the reviews for this week now, and they're much better than the ones for last week already.
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that idea sounds amazing, and if you are looking for a collaborator, I am game. I don't even care if I have to run around in a werewolf mask to get that shit made. Werewolves on the Moon is a movie that is just begging to be made.
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Seriously I can't stop thinking about how badly I want that Darkwing Duck.
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Is that show on DVD in a box set? I would totally buy that shit. No question about it.
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Is the guest musician on Idol next week? He's not going to sing he's going to aid the singers.....yeah ok.
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SOOOO must see TV tonight was the news. Why do they insist on cutting out all the programing just to show the same five minutes of news OVER AND OVER AGAIN. SOOO I fucking missed Parks and Recreations, The (2) Offices 30 Rocks and The new show on ABC. One thing I give FOX credit for, Hells kitchen ran. Yeah yeah its terrible these fires, but all and all it doesn't fucking effect me, and those that it does effect aren't watching TV. Just news people trying to act more important then they are, a fucking sliding bar on the bottom of the screen is more useful.
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Is on DVD yes.
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the other dudes were working on a treatment for it earlier today...
My big contribution:
"Neil Armstrong tear-asses across the moon on the rover, lesbian on each arm, screaming "One small step for man...game over for YOU!!" as he just smashes through a horde of were-wolves." -
actually, I think quint namedropped him and Rogen just played along with that "man, yea, that guy" like he didnt even know what the hell they were talking about.
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Is Herb the main/only person who can post on Mavra? I'm trying to get the pictures on the comic review.
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I don't think I can touch that review. I'll take a look but I think I'd have to create a brand new post to do that for you. Let me take a look-see and I'll be back.
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if you it wasnt posted, or I had posted it initially I could, but I think you will need Mavra or Herb for that.
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I finished my reviews for the books this week.Shall I send them to Herb or Echo? i just need a good address they check a lot.
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I mean do you just want to post separately or combine our reviews?
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I'll email you my address through zhura.
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This episode of Found, finally Desmond be kicking some ass. Then going to give the ole looky loo to Punisher: War Zone see what that's all about.
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It's up to you. I just wanted to get them up as soon as possible, but if you want to wait til you're done, I'm cool with that. Just lemme know.
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Shit, that guy's ego is gonna be sky-high now =P! That's okay CoCers and Professionals alike. We're gonna get our day when we become the FIRST group of Talkbackers to successfully write and produce a film: Astronaut Werewolves on the Moon (with some variation of lesbian in the title).
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Talkbackers taking a piece of shit idea like "Full Moon Fever" and making it into something respectable=total fucking professional destruction with a bale cherry on top
I also hope you guys make that Carolco destroying piece of shit cry... -
so there are some humaniod aliens on an all female mission to explore the galaxy. back home their men are just used for insemination, these girls are lesbians. cue all kinds of shenanigans. while exploring the moon the moon they disturb the ancient burial chamber of some wearwolves who attack them. some turn into wear wolves others escape. the soviets land and are torn to shreds. later armstrong lands and saves the lesbians. at one point tearing across the moon on the rover with a scantily clad lesbian on each arm, pursued by a pack of wolves. wear wolves.
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Even to those who aren't celebrating Easter or who celebrate something similiar but not quite the same.Does that cover eveyone?
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EveRyone. Too much caffeine.
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Check that trailer out if you haven't already. Looks like a top movie. Like the music as well.
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I'm outlining a script. YATTA
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Is it Astro Lesbians Versus Werewolves On The Moon perchance?
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I don't have enough awesome in the tank to do that solo.
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And if for some reason we decide not to set it during the first moon landing, the astronaut's name has to be Buzz Armstrong to confuse the kiddies.
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If I stare at that poster for too long I start to go cross-eyed.
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Great minds and all that... I was thinking "Buzz Armstrong" last night!
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Some douche is gonna steal this idea, just like they stole the idea for an Inspector Gadget movie all those years ago.
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What happened?
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In response to a B+ Entertainment Weekly rated his tour last summer: Yo, anybody that's not a fan; don't come to my show. For what?! To try and throw ya'll two cents in? Ya'll rated my album shitty and now ya'll come to the show and give it a B+. What's a B+ mean? I'm an extremist. It's either pass or fail! A+ or F-! You know what, fuck you and the whole fucking staff!!! I know I shouldn't dignify this with a comment, but the reviewer threw a jab at all the artists. I just wanna know when was the last time you enjoyed yourself. If you can't have fun and lose yourself at this tour it's a good chance you're a very miserable person. I actually feel sorry for you guys. Your job forces you to not have fun anymore. Grab a drink, holla at some nice girls, and party bitch!! You don't know shit about passion and art. You'll never gain credibility at this rate. You're fucking trash! I make art. You can't rate this. I'm a real person. I'm not a pop star. I don't care about anything but making great art. Never come 2 one of my shows ever again, you're not invited and if you see me...BOW!! This is not pop, it's pop art! Doesn't he sound like a Talkbacker?
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Hell, both the real astronaut's names were awesome and manly. Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin. Its like something from a scifi flick about space exploration...
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Back in the old days, when AICN just had a forum, a bunch of the Forumers, as we called ourselves, started geeking out about the possibility of a live-action Gadget film. So they started writing a script to it, collaboratively, and what I remember of it was pretty spot-on and faithful to the spirit of the show in regards to tone and goofy technological stuff. Then, of course, Disney came out with that absolutely horrid film, and we all came to the conclusion some douche read the posts and determined "Hey, they're hungry for Inspector Gadget! Let's churn out some crap with that very name!" Which ended up breaking a lot of those Gadget fanboy Forumers' hearts. That's how I remember it anyway.
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(You can't rate this. I'm a real person. I'm not a pop star. I don't care about anything but making great art.) So 'Touch The Sky' is great art? RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT
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with this Kanye West person. Does he speak English at all?
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So no.
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Absolute poo. I bet you guys easily wrote a better script.
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that's the one where they talk a lot, isn't it. Is it the same as Hop Hip?
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For someone who doesn't care about anything, he sure is getting riled up over a favorable review.
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He went back in time to Shakespeare where they're having trouble with these ugly witch/crones. At the end they're fighting off some deadly Shade type ghost in the Globe Theater. Anyone seen it? Did the Doctor just shout out "Expelliarmus!" (a popular spell in Harry Potter) and follow with "Good ole JK!!" (as in Rowling)?
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I'm going to say yes to both, despite having not watched it.
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Where one of the astronauts, after a particularly hairy encounter that goes terribly wrong, says "We're in some really pretty shit now, dudes. It's game over."Then Buzz Armstrong tears himself away from the lesbians, grabs the hysterical astronaut, slaps him several times and tells him to be a goddamn professional.
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Yes... yes.... yesssssss.... muaahahahahahahahaaaaaaah!
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all Werewolves on the Moon related suggestions and taking them all on board. At the moment it's like a puzzle. Just trying to get it sorted into some sort of linear story line. Love the complete badass Buzz Armstrong character. Not only will man turn into werewolf, but Buzz will turn Lesbo into cockhound.
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Colonists on the moon discover an obelisk. Said obelisk is what turns the men into werewolves.
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At some point during the proceedings, a scientist type must utter the immortal line - "We still don't know exactly what we're dealing with here..."Come to think of it, doesn't have to be a scientist type. But it's got to be said.
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everytime I think of old "Buzz" gleefully mowing down werewolves in his lunar rover, two pissed off lesbians scowling either side of him coz they can't get at each other. Genius. "Buzz" has got to have a cowboy hat on top of his space helmet... Now I can see Slim Pickens...
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this idea, I guarantee the first thing to go from the script would be the lesbians. Unless Paul Verhoeven directed it. He'd have lesbians.
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I got an idea for the ending. There is one guy who gets away in the last rocket and as he's flying over the Moon he looks down and see 100's of more Werewolves. We scan down to Moon level and see the Werewolves and there red eyes turn green and their head slowly morphs into something resembling an Alien just right before it attacks the camera! Then boom up roll the credits loud bad ass metal song plays and the DTV sequel starts shooting two weeks after the monster opening.
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I don't know about all that. Seeing that I don't believe in Harry Potter probably means it didn't happen.
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Apr 10, 2009 11:32:07 AM CDT
What would be funny about the Buzz character...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
is if he was completely oblivous to the fact that they're lesbians and not interested in him. He's just a cocky, cowboy persona and thinks that all these babes are just playing hard to get.
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Makes me think about the best part of Bedtime Stories, the Buzz Lightyear cameo.
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exactly. And he's got to keep inadvertantly interrupting the lesbians just as they're about to get into each other.
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Did anyone watch last nights episode? It was fucking insane. Like now I know what goes on inside the mind of a crazy person. Like a month ago they had a contest to make your own Xavier clip. So the show was pretty much all the contest winners clips strung together. So fucking bizarre, I think everyone should check it out when it airs again Sunday night.
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on YouTube. I see what you mean. Madder than a box of frogs!
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Apr 10, 2009 12:18:25 PM CDT
One of the lesbians needs to be named after someone
by hawaiian organ donor
In my office: Sathee Baby Makkacherry. Maybe the head lesbian.And I like Series idea but as Buzz and the last of the lesbians are escaping in the rocket, they fire off a nuke to finish off the hordes of Werewolves. Right before the nuke hits, a werewolf says "Ruh roh" just like Scooby Doo. As the blinding light from the explosion goes off behind him, Buzz stands at attention to the national anthem and the lesbians, who Buzz has kept separated the whole time, are finally going at it.
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Apr 10, 2009 12:37:48 PM CDT
Sathee Baby Makkacherry = Lesbonaut
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
The national anthem has to be some Hendrix style guitar instrumental that Buzz kicks on with a makeshift 8-track while the bombs fly.
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An 8-track player in his rocketship is priceless. And mudflaps under the rear booster rockets.
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Perhaps one saying "I hunt whitetail all year round" with female silhouettes beside the lettering? (Didn't make that up...I knew a guy that had one).
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You guys watch that trailer? That movie looks amazing. Can't wait for it.
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Mymavra.comWhere talkbackers go to talk back to each other.
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He likes me! He really, really likes me! I'm touched (in the head). Thanks, oh mysterious Man_Behind_The_Curtain.
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I love the 8-track in the rocketship. Damnit this HAS to get made. But by us.
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Based on the story by Philip K. Dick.
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Some movie on SciFi Channel soon. "Thor" or something. Gotta be better than "Pathfinder".
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Yosemite Sam holding up twin pistols with the words 'Back off!' on them.
Those are popular here in Mississippi.
Mine have the chrome Playboy logos, which match the chrome tips of my window-rattling pipes (pronouced pie-ps here in the South) -
Apr 10, 2009 3:57:38 PM CDT
I envision Werewolves on the Moon to be...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
a cross between The 13th Warrior, Red Planet and Big Trouble In Little China. With Lesbians. A heady mix to be sure, but the CoC can make it work.
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Apr 10, 2009 4:20:57 PM CDT
And throw a bit of 8 Legged Freaks in there
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Because I'm watching it as we speak. And I've cast Tom Noonan in it in an unspecified role. Because the guys a legend.
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Looks weird now. Because I have a sledgehammer in my heart.
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He's the shit. Love his Frankenstein as well.
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Dating all the way back to Manns Manhunter.
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a danny talk back. hilarious
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'silence egghead! this isn't a time for thinking or planning, this is a time for DECISIVE ACTION!'
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Je suis si heureux que le Twitch soit récemment fait à une réapparition et soit revenu du bord de la mort. Je serais très attristé pour le voir aller pour toujours. Il n'est toujours pas de nouveau à où il était par le passé mais il est meilleur. J'espère que chacun revient bientôt. Ceux qui ne font pas seront rencontrés la mésange somptueuse de la DESTRUCTION FOUTUE TOTALE.
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About 80% of the college-going population in this town either needs to have the bottom half of their body eaten by rabid mice, or need to die from alcohol poisoning already. I am getting really sick of this town from the people alone.
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Maybe thats it, he doesn't really look weird anymore. Just old. Like REALLY old.
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COLLEGE RULES!
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cigarette tax is killing me! I roll my own, and that shit's supposed to be cheap for a reason.
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Observe and Report
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Funny soon after I heard about that. This cigarette and cigar store near me closed. So did the dog cafe?
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Show (hopefully the last) sober for the first time. Please Allah give me the courage to not shove my head in a blender to ease painfully memories that I will soon have. HAHAHAHA the guy from that silly male version of Sex In the City that failed is in this episode. He is just terrible.
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New Prison Break next week (i've been watching this masterpiece for four years? God it feels like it just started). Man can't fucking wait. Yeah the last season has been crap, but fuck you.
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I actually went to a pretty good party tonight. Lots of dancing and excess of everything. Good times.
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Shall I? It would cut in a lot on the movie time though.
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Apr 11, 2009 5:15:09 AM CDT
Kungfu... I started The Wire last week
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Just halfway through season one but it's quality. Great show. Worth the sacrifice of a few flicks.
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is spoilt by excess.
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if the cops don't show up, and there's no one on fire, it's not a party.
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You have good sayings.Alright then, I am starting the Wire tonight, first episode before I pass out from exhaustion.
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was always to get all three emergency services to the one party. still never done it. we often get two, but none of my mates have ever been gutless enough to call for an abulence. one day though, one day.
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Redid the Comics Double Teamed section with the pictures you wanted. I'm really sorry it took me so long. Let me know if it needs anything else.
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i fucking love the show, but i am anywhere between a season to a season and a half behind you. i have been lucky enough to avoid spoilers but please warn me.
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nice movie, oi! that's vince collosimo trying to mask his wog australian accent. at least he knows who is and where he comes from, unlike - oh! its that guy who supports the all blacks, and thinks that buying an australian footy team means that you are an australian. i have news for you pal, the litmus test for being an australian is whether or not you support the wallabies. you and fucking mal gibson can fucking sit togther and share a blow job with mcg and bang on about how the fuck australian you are till you go blue in the fucking face but in the timeless words of tyler durben 'sticking a feather up your ass dosn't make you a chicken' now fuck off. (and thankyou for giving a leg up to aussie talent, thanks for that) you fat fucking tool.
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From now on, all LOST discussions must have a SPOILER tag in the title.
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no need to go to extremes, been successful in avoiding it so far. just skip over anything that mentions 'ben' or 'the island' so, if there is movie coming out about a cloned jessica alba, set in and around a clock in london, i don't know shit about it.
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my favorite line from any film i have seen this year.
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Thanks man =).
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you struck gold with that ringer you say you shoved in on the day. he was the best. he out shone the guy who you said was the actual actor. maybe of course he was just being himself or something. but that guy was by far the best. I loved the arguement over wether or not it was the end of days. that guy was gold. i'm not pissing in your pocket, i though yours was the one with the crazy homicidal women, or the one with the guy in the shed. but i loved 'zombie hunters' that was some awesome shit. good luck dude. try to get in with danny, i've heard he is a big wig.
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he would smoke them out of their holes, like the rats they are.
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very drunk. going to bed.
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We're getting beaten by Hannah Mon-fucking-tanah. On this, the holiest of weekends. The Dude does not abide.
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Apr 11, 2009 10:31:10 AM CDT
While the CoC brethren all pillage and plunder...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
over at Danny's shrine, it's left to me to fight the good fight on home soil.
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Apr 11, 2009 10:34:29 AM CDT
Watched the entire State of Play miniseries yday...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
6 hours worth. It's bloody good stuff. I'm going to see the Rusty/Affleck remake that comes out next week so I was thinking of doing a State of Play Vs State of Play review for Madam Mavra's site. Is it worth it? Would anyone be interested in it?
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Apr 11, 2009 10:36:30 AM CDT
And I've got all of the Werewolves on the Moon suggestions
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
In a doc that i'm using to formulate a story with. It's bubbling away at the moment.
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Was it a BBC thing, Droid?
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Directed by David Yates of Harry Potter 5,6,7 fame. I'm interested in seeing how they will condense it into two hours.
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I hate (for the most part) what Yates did with the last Potter movie. I hear his TV movies are quite good, though.
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Apr 11, 2009 10:50:12 AM CDT
Yeah, well Harry Potters a...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
different kettle of fish to a political conspiracy murder mystery series, so don't rule him out just yet.
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Thanks a lot. That first picture is awesome.
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This movie is fucking fantastic. I really don't get why people hated it? Its a perfect comic book film so far, Punisher is perfectly done here. TDK has put an unreasonable level of BLAH to comic book movies. Comic books are crazy and over the top, they don't need to be turned into some character grounded in reality to be enjoyable. Especially Punisher, yes he is one of the few REAL LIFE comic book heroes, but that makes his comic crazy and over the top. If you wanted some gritty revenge film, why bother using the Punisher name?
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And now he's like some editor. He editied X-3, T-2, BB2, Super Mario Brothers.
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And since Mel Gibsons is an American whose nutbar father moved the whole clan to Australia to avoid a thirteen year old Mel from getting drafted(see, nutter butter) then are they truly Aussies? I'm thinking not.
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In this movie are awesome. He just put his fist through a guys face. This shows a lot more talent in a female director then that crap Twilight. Biggest problem with this film is that like no one (save for the bad guy from I Am Legend) is from New York. They are all British or Canadian.
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Couldn't post last night. Too drunk. Don't know how Chipps does it...
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we're at the bottom of the Top 10 again. Struggling this week...
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I had a Neil Marshall night last night - Dog Soldiers, The Descent & Doomsday. Great entertainment, all of them, especially while slaughtered.This afternoon I saw Let The Right One In at the cinema. Good film. A shame to see so few people in the theatre. Maybe more turn out in the evenings. I hope so.
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There's somebody in your office called Sathee Baby Makkacherry?Come on!
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I left a comment on your Let The Right One In review. I figure you posted that quite awhile ago but the UK only just got the film.
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my point exactly.
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I figured that was what you were driving at.
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Has become a must see by everyone.
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This... this is sad, people! Maybe I'll provide a link to the short about Killer Christmas Trees that I made in college. Maybe that'll spark interest.
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Apr 11, 2009 10:08:33 PM CDT
If my Father moved the family to Australia.....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....to avoid being drafted-- I would be eternally grateful. That is unconditional love and solid proof that he was willing to do anything to protect his kid.
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When Russell says that line "Remember when we were in college" to Affleck, I nearly spit. Uhhhhh.....who the fuck thought they look like they're around the same age? Crowe looks like Affleck's fucking Father, even though they are only 8 years apart. That makes that entire film seem hilarious to me. Makes a lot more sense with Norton and Pitt.
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Am I suppose to believe either of those boners even went to college?
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In regards to the numerous, deadly animals that live on the continent: "“Australia: Even though nature vomited monsters all over this barren isle of Lovecraftian horror, we fucking live here anyway, because we just don’t give a shit.”"
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Crowe....college? Yeah fucking right. That dude was too busy branding cattle and fisting cunts in the outback.
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how goes it?
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Apr 11, 2009 11:04:08 PM CDT
Another reason Tintin is gonna fucking blow cock.....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....WETA is doing the effects instead of ILM. Booooring.
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Tintin's in post already? I didn't even know they'd started filming yet...
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Apr 11, 2009 11:17:02 PM CDT
Tintin's done shooting. It was a 30 day shoot.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Apr 11, 2009 11:21:55 PM CDT
Observe and Report -- 4th place with less than 5 mill....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....on Friday.
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followed by 2 YEARS of post? Christ...
The pbs doc about Tintin was really good. Too bad PBS hoards their docs instead of making them available to watch... -
So has anybody seen it? I, personally, sort of want to kill it. But I could see watching it online maybe, for free, in a fit of masochistic despair.
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....instead of San Francisco with ILM.Spielberg-- go fuck yourself with that fake ass patriotic WWII propaganda bullshit. In these current economic times of hardship, you give the finger to a California based company and send thousands of jobs to New Zealand? BRAVO. And this, AFTER you gave us Indy IV? Please check yourself into Wonderland for the next 5 years and kindly shut the fuck up.
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Spielberg, back from before he got all serious and developed praying hands.
ILM wouldn't hire me for an archive assistant job, so I'm a tad bitter about them. Still pretty fucked up though. -
In the miniseries they knew each other because the journo (the crowe character) was campaign manager for the MP (in this case afflecks senator) election. So the connection was different. And it makes the dynamic different. College buddies is such a throwaway line, which is most likely why they used it. I was reading about it the other day and Kevin Macdonald was talking about all the shit they had to cut or condense. I'm interested to see it, but now that i've seen the miniseries its more out of curiosity. And my guess for the college connection would be that Rusty was one of those dorm monitor dudes that go to college for about 10 years without ever graduating in anything. But less like Van Wilder and more like Pauly Shore.
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Apr 12, 2009 1:14:40 AM CDT
And Bill Nighy fucking owns State of Play
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
The blokes a legend. Where the fuck did he come from? I'd never heard of him 5 years ago and he's ancient!
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That quote is 100% accurate. We don't give a shit.
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Whats the prob with a short shoot? Thats how animated flicks work. Shit like Shrek (i realise they aren't mocap) probably have about four days of voice work. Then spend years getting animated. Where's the beef?
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Apr 12, 2009 1:24:45 AM CDT
And i think Tintin is now more Jacksons project
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
than Spielbergs. I realise this has been a long time project of Spielbergs, bu I think Jackson is the driving force behind getting it made. It's like Spielbergs a director for hire on this. And the obvious reason why WETA are doing it is because it's Jacksons company.
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Apr 12, 2009 1:38:21 AM CDT
But the long and the short of it is...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
The two most beloved books and characters of my childhood are being brought to the screen by quality filmmakers. Where the Wild Things Are and Tintin. It's happy days for me.
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Apr 12, 2009 1:47:50 AM CDT
Why the bloody hell did I wake up so early!?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
It's now 7:30am here. Today is going to be a long day. On this, the holiest of days, I'm going to a place called The Church. Now, this isn't any old church. The difference here being that the blood of christ is a four pack of cheap beer which you start consuming at 12 noon. And the strippers and drinking competitions. It's full of drunkards trying to maintain the buzz from the night before. And there's sawdust on the floor in case of an 'accident'. I've only been there once and vowed never to go back. But it seems i am. It's going to be a long day.
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funny thing is at the time we had the vietnam draft here. dad was the last lot called up, the war ended for us a few months later (and before he did basic)
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i like the quote. here what tourism australia has to say about it: http://tinyurl.com/cpl7kg
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but affleck: he always reminds me of when i was a kid and we have all these tropical bird here. anyway, there are these trees, like lilly pillys and shit with these berry that we go bush and eat like tom saywer (some are poisonus but you figure it out) if they stay on the tree too long they ferment. and the birds eat them and get drunk. where i went to school the birds used to get drunk and fly full pelt into the windows, and hit the ground. and this wild anilmal would look up at you like 'what the fuck is going on, where the fuck am i?'alfeck has always reminded me of this. the wide eyed, mouth open look he has reminds me of a drunk bird with a concussion.
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good movie. i'm tottaly over crowe. he was doing a bad impersonation of himself in the insider. he was good in romper stomper and gladiator, but he is not a duel academy award winning actor.
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loved the comic, don't know if i could get into a movie. anyone see either of the two (that i'm aware of) asterix movies. didn't like either. I'm working on my own though. in the real spirit of asterix. just drinking eating woreing and fighting. like the comic. don't know if the french are up to it. takes a real celt to make that.
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i was just laughing with my missus. there is a snake that lives around here called the tiapan. it is the most venomus land animal in the world (we also get the box jelly fish and the iricanji - the most venonus animal) anyway i was laughing at what you said cause, untreated the tiapan will kill you in a couple of minutes. my mirth was at the idea of a guy who lives beside the hospital. it takes more than 3 minutes to walk across a hospital. lets face it. if you get bitten your fucked. i once stepped on these snakes, and we get trained to watch for them, but they are hard to see.
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You guys have got the most poisonous snake, the most poisonous jelly fish, the most poisonous spiders, and on top of that you've got dingoes and great white sharks. The entire continent is a nightmarish mix of terrible things that can kill you quickly. And you guys don't give a shit. You just get drunk and say 'fuck it'.
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what else would we do? go back to ireland? england?
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don't you blaspheme god damit!
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Empathy... was YESTERDAY. Toooooooday is a waste of mah MOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING TIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMME
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I'm glad you really liked the movie. I'll tell the actor who played Greg Jonson that he was your favorite. He had never really acted before, but he'd grown up around enough people that were like the character that he was able to bring some realism to it- including the accent. None of the accents for anyone were real. And speaking of Danny, I hear he's a big wig too. He gave me a very favorable review on Vimeo.
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Thanks for that comment on "Zombie Hunters" on Vimeo. Spoken like a true professional! That was awesome. My girlfriend stumbled across the link at work and emailed it to me saying "Have you seen this?!?!" It was great.
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They didn't draft 12 year old.
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I can't think of a single person I know that saw that movie, not even Jesus.
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Was a draft dodger of some sort, douche.
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The the last Harrison Ford movie. Damn the Weistien company needs to get their shit together. Crossing over could have made 20 Million easily. Outlander could have been a sleeper hit. Fanboys may have made about 5 million tops. Why would you let your movie be handled by these dopes? Shit I bet Freestyle or Summit could handle your shit better.
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Man I can't wait for the American Pie guy to run that movie into the ground. How that Chuck and Buck and suck and fuck got an Oscar out of that crap is one for the books.
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What the fuck is that movie and why is there a guy giving a REALLY good blow job to a sword?
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The movie not Dickbloods soul. I don't know if I've ever seen it before. Hope you all are having a happy rebirth.
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I never saw a gods-damned advertisement for it EVER. No poster. No tv ads. No movie trailers. What horrible, horrible business sense.
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it was reviewed on At the Movies with BEN BEN.
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...I'm sure his old man was looking out for all of them. I've never heard that story, but if thats the case-- its a damn respectable thing to do.
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But he's still pretty damn awesome.
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What a fucked up ending of a movie? How'd they get Disney to finance that? I really liked it, I bet they just showed Disney the CUTE robots and they were like $$. Also really weird cast. This looks like one of those movies though that someone over at Disney is shitting their pants trying to get it remade, hopefully that guy isn't very important.
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I mean it has the possibility to be done really well. But then I think about Lost In Space and what an abortion that was. And that's probably what it would be. Also I think Sunshine is a good enough of a sort of remake of it. There are a lot of similar plots, I couldn't help but thinking of how much Danny Boyle liked The Black Hole and studied it prior to making Sunshine. I mean the whole Green room, the captain with a god complex living in space by himself for however many years, trying to crash the ship into the sun/black hole. Lets just saw Sunshine is a remake of the Black Hole without the robots. But man that was so sad when Bob died, I knew it was coming from the second he was onscreen but still. I liked how they didn't make the robots kiddie at all, like they acted nothing like how stupid they looked.
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Or is everyone done with AICN?
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so here is the goss from a dude who lives in a state that has 8 of the deadliest snakes in the world (none of which appeared in the movie) dispite my post above, truth is if you get bit by a tiapan you are in trouble. but you can make it. this movie and people in general don't realise that there is a common fallacy. i have done my medical cert multiple times as well as doing multiple time my combat first aid (because we live in oz snake bite is a major issue when pack marching). truth is snake venonum does not travel through your blood. blood is irrelevant. snake venom moves through the lympatic system. so here what you do to survive a taipan bite (the worst thing i can imagine snake wise) you get like a triangle bandage or whatever you have. you can rip up a shirt. your rap it around the wound one time. you then get a niko and circle the spot of the bite. this later allows the medic to cut out that part of cloth and test it for the relevant anti veneon. you then tightly wrap the wound. they used to wrap away from the heart, but it turns out this is irrelvant. you continue to wrap till you run out of bandages. you then splint the limb. evelavating can help a little but remember, it is the lympatic systmem. you now need to take it easy. if you do this you have a good chance of surviving a snake bite from the worst snake in the world (i once stood on the second worst, the eastern tiapan) if you don't, you have minutes to live.
remember: forget about sucking some cunts ass. that gay ass shit is for the movies: it is the lympatic system. wrap the fucker up and imobilise it. then get your ass to a hospital. (not one of the snakes in that movie could kills you as quick as those snakes, excluding the python, which is not venomus) -
carpenters music was always a turn off for me (i know shut up, leave me alone) i'm laughing my ass off at the parody.
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nice.
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I should have taken a sick day today. I feel like hell.
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There are plenty of motarded muthafuks in the Star Trek TB that need to be smacked
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For all the random, hilarious shite he interjects into the middle of political flame wars and whatnot.
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Scriptgirl is the #1 TB? And Twitch isn't even on the list?
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Everyone seems to be AWOL.
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down the rabbit hole
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did Yoko give up on the music column? I know she gets a lot of shit for it, but damn, I hate to see anybody just give up*. Why not try actually putting some effort into it first?
*scriptgirl being the exception, she should feel free to give up at any time -
I don't know if I feel bad about it, bc it seemed like the majority of AICNers didn't enjoy it. And Harry said frm the beginning that it was an "experiment". It gives me hope bc I really want Harry to stop posting that ShitGirl here, and I feel like he might listen to the MAJORITY that no one really likes it. Problem is, though. SG will continue to make videos on YouTube, so its easier for Harry to just post a link. I imagine Yoko got burned out and is just as lazy as Harry is (with that DVD column), so its harder for Harry to keep posting that story when the author isn't constantly working. But still... Down with ScriptGirl!
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Holy Hell, what's happening? I'll give you a topic: Grape Nuts are neither grapes, not nuts. DISCUSS!
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To paraphrase George Romero, this thing is such a gas. Haven't seen it in awhile. "Hello, my name is Wobert." Gotta love the frogs vs cats in the Vietnam War flashback and the Deer Hunter Russian Roulette reference.
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but it's also pretty demented. I remember feeling sort of wierd the first time I saw it. Funny, when I finally saw Frighteners it seemed so tame coming from Peter Jackson back then.
I don't think anyone thought he had LOTR in him back then. -
hows it going? you guys do anything cool over the weekend?
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finished the dracula episode. It was just o.k, but it looks like shakespeare when compared to season 4. Uggh. Whats up with buffy's sis? Wait, dont tell me.
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the one called Restless with the first slayer. It seemed like a summary of the entire season, cept it didnt suck.
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And glad to have the original back!
This weekend was pretty lame. I've been housesitting while my mother was in Florida visiting her parents. One of her dogs got into a WHOLE pack of Andes Mints earlier today (and ate every single individually wrapped piece), so my gf and I have spent all evening finding puddles of chocolate vomit to clean up. Playing Rock Band with her and her younger brother and sister who were in town for Easter friday night was probably the most fun I had. Though cooking a steak tonight and watching "Feebles" ranks up there. Did you do anything cool? -
Lets see, we spent the weekend visiting relatives all over the place, my business partner and I were testing the prototype for our new boardgame, my wife and I caught up on some of the horror films I've had laying around, went to church with the family yesterday and consumed enough chocolate that I'm surprised I wasn't leaving puddles of chocolate vomit everywhere.
Between that and preparing for classes and trying to get the children's book and the web comic together, there wasnt much in the way of a spare moment.
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worst incident like that I ever saw was back in 1990 when my uncle's dog, which we were housesitting, (it was a small little terrier) got into the baker's chocolate and ate almost an entire package. My brother and I were dropped off at home for some reason, and my dad went back to do something else so we were there by ourselves and when we walked in the house was dark. Suddenly this hurtling black ball blasts through the kitchen, bounces off the cabinets in the dining room and barrels on into the living room. Freaked the crap out of me. When we turned on the lights there were skidmarks of diahrrea all over the floor, and yes, up the walls and the terrier was standing in the corner shaking, and looking like it wanted to eat a hole through my chest.
Luckily, it didn't kill him.
Also, on an Easter related note I distinctly remember the family cat licking the face off of my sister's chocolate easter bunny. Good times. -
have you been reading the 30 days of horror column over at Mavra? I was curious to hear your thoughts on it.
HOD and I just started a foreign films column too. If you get a chance, let me know what you think.
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but maybe I can throw up a few more posts before I go so the effort here wasn't in vain.
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called The Children? It's up on my queue of things to watch this week, along with a Jewel Staithe movie called The Tribe and Inhabited Island, and the movies for the column, of course.
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I'll admit, I've been procrastinating a lot too. I've got storyboards to finalize and a presentation to put together. And oh yeah, figuring out my mileage for last year and doing my State taxes. Blech. Tomorrow's gonna be fun!
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movie? Any new developments, Droid? Get this thing written so we can see Ron Perlman as Neil Armstrong!!
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I brought up the website the other day when The Pit was the last review (I think). But my computer crashed before I could read it (I leave like 8 tabs open of stories I intend to read throughout the day), and I must say I'm sorry that I forgot about it after the reboot. I'll check it out tomorrow if I get a chance. And if not then, then definitely some time this week.
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for many years now I've held that the following would be great band names:
Puppy Egg Jeff
Whelp
Clowns Ate Your Baby -
Well, because I feel like I should support the local VisArt. I know it'd be cheaper to do NetFlix, and I know it'd be easier and I'd (probably) have a better chance of getting the old/foreign/indie flicks I want, but I just can't get myself out of the house to actually DRIVE to the VisArt. And I'm horrible with bills and deadlines like that, so I'd most likely have lots of late charges. But still, I can't bring myself to create a NetFlix account, bc I still "intend" to go to VisArt. I've been feeling this way for over a year. Point being: I haven't seen "The Children".
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there are several entries since then, and to be honest, I'm a little behind. I think the problem is I just keep starting new columns. Right now, Im at 1990 and I should be doing 91. It's been fun revisiting the movies though.
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whats VisArt?
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trying to get this thing back in the top ten.
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I've heard of the 30 days of Horror deal, but are you also going through the 90s, one year at a time like Mori once attempted (and failed) to do? Also, VisArt is an independent video rental store here in the SouthEast. I don't know how widespread they are. We had one in Chapel Hill and neighboring Carborro during college, and there is one a couple of blocks away here in Charlotte. They have a lot of indie flicks and foreign flicks, and sometimes do special sections like "Kurosawa" or "Jarmusch" and "Warhol". They also print their own lists, like around Halloween they had lists of scary movies everyone had to see, and had them broken down by age group appropriateness. Last list I got was a list of Guy flicks for Date night. One side was for Bromance Night- the other for Dates with the Girl (but the movies were the kind both sexes would like). Its an interesting chain, and that's why I feel the need to support them. Its where I found a lot of the Kurosawa flicks I needed when I did my senior exit essay project in high school on Kurosawa and his influence on American filmmakers. Unfortunately, like I said, I just never think about going, and when I'm already out and about and passing by, I know I wont have the time later to watch bc of my busy schedule. I just need to suck it up and do it. After googling it, it looks like the only VisArt stores are in Chapel Hill and Charlotte, for a total of 2? Hmm.
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I guess its a central North Carolina thing.
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Well, since there is no Jarv and no Frankie it means I'm all by my lonesome this morning.
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I'm putting together a plan of attack and sorting through all the ideas we have. Work will begin soon. Buzz Armstrong must be allowed to shine on the silver screen.
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Apr 14, 2009 4:18:09 AM CDT
Speaking previously about Mel Gibson
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Apparently he's getting divorced and stands to lose half of all that Passion of the Christ money! He's worth almost a billion US! Bloody hell. I usually don't agree with a partner getting half of someones fortune, but in this case I think it would be justified. They were married before he was famous and she's pumped out 7 kids for him. And he's a bit of a nutbag and an alcoholic.
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sounds like little bits of metal you fire out of a cannon at angry parisians.
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Actually, I came in to work twice last week but the IT monkeys had been far too busy throwing poo at each other to fix the fucking thing.
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I watched when away and the patented Franklin T. Marmoset 1 word review. The Incredible Hulk- Mint
Team America- Mint
Timeline- wank
Wall-E- Delightful
The Good The Bad and The Weird- Awesome
Dark Angel-Mint
Sicko-hmmm, meh
The Fall-OK
Kiss Of The Dragon-Wank
Halloween 2-Underrated
Persepolis-GOLD
Lust Caution-FUCKING DISGRACE TO CELLULOID
Disturbance-BIzzare
Route 666-Mint
Fast and Furious 3: Tokyo Drift-Complete wankPLanet of THe Apes- Wank Not to mention the red dwarf marathon which was underwhelming
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Silly me. Had difficulties then. Donor- my useless mate that was meant to be supplying me the good scotch hasn't come through for me yet. He will and then it will be on it's way.
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American Kitchen Nightmares is wank. Mrs. Jarv used to like it, but even she hates it now, and if you actually want to go to the restaurants, you'd best hurry up as they're dropping like flies.
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That wasn't me Donor. My pikey Scottish mate tells me that it's called glensomethingorother and is aged by more than usual. He swears it's great. I suspect that threshers have improved on their security, hence why I haven't got it yet.
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no interest at all. None. And I hate JJ Abrams.
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There are basically 3 films off that list that I want to talk about, and as I'm on my tod driving up the numbers I'm going to split the reviews.
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I watched the first episode and it was so devoid of laughs that I haven't been inspired to watch the other two. I will I guess, but I was pretty disappointed because although I haven't watched any of it in about 10 years I remember it being absolute gold. This was not.
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I cannot state this strongly enough: DO NOT WATCH THIS. I saw a UK paper review it as "boredom porn" and they were actually being nice about it. It's tiresome, tedious, dull, the sex is unconvincing graphic and minging (she doesn't shave her pits), Tony Leung is good but looks asleep, depressing shite. I'm starting to think that Ang Lee is seriously overrated. I cannot think of one film he's made that I absolutely love. I like The Ice Storm, but everything else either bores me or leaves me cold.
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was not gold. There was the odd chuckle, but it wasn't great. And they made the mistake of following it with Polymorph which may be the single funniest episode they ever did.
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Disturbance. Wow. It's insane, incomprehensible gibberish. Basically, this serial killer (who looks as badly made as that mongoloid cunt from prison break) is running about in unconvincing fights with women and kids who then vomit green shit when they die. I'm not joking. Anyhoo it turns out that he was actually executed and his body has an Alien cop implanted in it who is killing a load of invading Aliens. It's all very confusing.
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FUCKING GOLD. The whole film is so mindnumbingly stupid, Dolph is on form, the Yuppie mafia are hysterical, the cod science is priceless, and it has the line "Fuck you Spaceman" in it.
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Never mind, jobs are like buses- one will turn up.
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was the Third one with the Blade Runner rip off in it. That actually was quite funny.
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Planet of THe Apes. The first one is mint, obviously. The Second is passable, but I seem to remember the rest of them being ass. And the remake is atrocious
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Now, as much as I detest moore he is spot on on this one. Up to a point. He then fucks it up with the cuba section.
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which was, unsurprisingly, shit. And it will remain shit until that stupid Welsh git fucks off permanently.
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I actually didn't watch much over the weekend. Well, the State of Play miniseries, Finding Nemo and a shitload of an aussie comedy show called Frontline which I discovered on the interwebs and grappled with my sticky fingers. It's from the mid 90's and is gold. It's a satire of current affairs shows. But it's very australian, in terms of references to people and I think you'd have to be familiar to appreciate it. And I went on an epic drunkening on which started at noon on sunday and ended with me in my kitchen cooking steak and chips at 1am.
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Howdy....how goes it? how was the vacation?
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Apr 14, 2009 6:15:29 AM CDT
I've never watched a single episode of Doctor Who
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Not interested in the slightest. Especially since they had that unfunny rednut on it recently.
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except I kept having to come in. Which blew.
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Pocahontas, Aladin,and Tarzan, all the Disney versions. Aladin was the best of the bunch I think. Actually having just rewatched after a hiatus of several years, I have to say it's one of the more loony, but fun contemporary Disney movies. Unlike many of them, it's very cartoony. The opening all the way up to the intro with Aladin dodging the palace guards is all pretty funny. Good stuff.Tarzan had those god-awful distracting Phil Collins songs, but is there any other Disney movie with so many of the characters dying? This could have been much better without Rosie O Donnell as the gorilla friend. Man is that some shitty casting.Pocahontas had its moments, and some really good designs and songs, but was probably the most forgettable.
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Watched the first two episodes of The Wire. For all the hype, it holds up surprisingly well. I'm having a hard time thinking up ANYTHING with such a large, consistently stellar cast. I like that it doesn't take the time to explain anything or re-tread over old plot points. The sense of reality is really one of the best parts. Bubbles for president.
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The main guy in the Wire; the only other thing I have seen him in is 300, and I kind of hated him in that. Not ever because he played a politician, I just thought the phony accent and the overacting was contrived and obnoxious. Still, he's pretty amazing in The Wire.
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I went with my girlfriend to see all of her family in Portland for Easter. Her niece is almost 2, and loves us both, so we had babysitting duty pretty much the entire time. It was fun though. We almost started Neverending Story 2. Anybody seen that nutty shit?
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it's plantastic. I used to love Red Dwarf, and want to thank it for giving the world the line "Let's get out there and TWAT IT" but the new ones were a bit shit.
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Glad to hear you liked Persepolis. The comic's great too.
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Really, really good. That, Watchmen fuckheads, is how you literally adapt a funny book.
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Never seen it. Or Doctor Who, though I did get some Doctor Who tapes for like a dollar. Still haven't gotten to watching it though.
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I know right now I'm watching The Children. It's an odd british movie about...well, killer children.
Jarv, have you seen the recent entries over at Mavra? I've been doing 30 Days of Horror and HOD and I just started a foreign film column.
As you no doubt are aware of now, Quint and co. name-dropped DGDB in an interview with Rogen, Rogen made a few generic comments (I honestly don't think he knew he they were talking about) and Quint made it the centerpiece of his interview tagline and I think Danny has a cult now. -
If you must watch it, watch Polymorph, marooned, Timeslides, for certain. Polymorph is especially funny.
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but found it to be OK? Thats better than totally hating it..
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Is that true? I'm going to check Mavra now.
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but I kind of got into it for a bit. My big probem is that the guy was such a fucking douche. Seriously. What sort of wanker gets an innocent child to steal drugs so he can off himself?Having said that, it is visually amazing, and the end was also good.
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there should be more comic reviews soon. I wrote mine the day I got the comics, but I'm not sure they have been posted yet. I think Series is waiting to finish his before he does it...
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Apr 14, 2009 6:41:57 AM CDT
Yeah, those were the pinnacle episodes of Red Dwarf
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
And I've read a few of the books back in the day. One of them was very funny. Apart from Fear and Loathing its the only book that's made me laugh.
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I think if the main guy in The Fall hadn't been such an asshole at first, his realization of his and the girl's friendship at the end wouldn't be so powerful.I love that movie by the way.
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but I totally did not buy his reason for offing himself, and I just thought he was a complete shitbag. I didn't hate it- when I finally managed to battle past that interminable first half an hour, I was quite liking it, and I did like the end.
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which was so bad I actually do not want to watch another chinese film for a loooooong time.
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shit, what a good idea. And I've not seen hardly any of them. You know that the 21st century is going to be fucking tough, don't you? Torture Porn be damned.
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has little to do with it being made by Chinese people. Come on, dude. Haven't you seen Red Cliff?
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80s was all crazy and literal. Half my pics for the 90s could technically be considered not horror. The 90s was a wasteland for horror. Mostly it was all psychological. Im writing up my 90 and 91 articles right now while I watch the pic for 92. I have a feeling very few will have seen the 92 pic and most won't think 91 qualifies as horror.
From 01-09 it was actually easier to find things to write about than the late 90s, since Im doing obscure there are usually at least a few indie choices that have something to offer. -
to Prophecy. It's a mutant BEAR movie.
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just that it sucked so hard I don't want to watch another Chinese film for a while. I know that it sucked because of Ang Lee. And Armpit hair
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Shits all over mongoloid frenchy hulk. *pokes Jarv with stick*
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What happened to the 'L'Homme' movie you were going to review for 1989? You did 'I, Madman' instead.
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Apr 14, 2009 7:11:29 AM CDT
Just read the NY times review of Observe and Report
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Sounds like shit. And the knob director seems to think Taxi Driver is an inspiration for it. Right...
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and aside from The Descent (I can't remember if 28 Days Later is 1999 or after) not a single 2000+ one. Maybe Rec.
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Apr 14, 2009 7:18:21 AM CDT
Candidate for most horrifying film of the 2000's is...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
The Love Guru
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Backwards, Polymorph, Marooned... "Are you trying to say I've got a big bum?""Big? It's like two badly parked Volkswagons."Didn't watch the new stuff. I know no Dwarf is ever gonna touch the above trio.
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Whats that? Im looking at my list and it looks like I, Madman was always on there. So far the only film I switched was the 1990 one, because it was Nightbreed and then I rewatched it and found it sucks horribly.
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so I guess its that in the 2000s most of the known stuff sucks bad, and the smaller stuff is where the good is anyway. There were a few greats in the 2000s. Im not writing it up but Session 9 was quite good.
Problem is, now that I look at, stuff from that period definitely has a cobbled together feel. I had to pull from different countries, etc. -
Sorry, man. I've had a malfunction. I answered this question myself last night but forgot! Last night I momentarily got confused by the poster at the end of the review. Don't know why, it's obvious what it is!
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Several others are sending in theirs as well. Stuntcock just did Exorcist 3 for today's article.
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but it was entitled The Man Who Wanted to Know or something like that...
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but it was entitled The Man Who Wanted to Know or something like that...
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how bout you? You have seen every entry thus far save one. You must have some good gems you have seen you can write-up?
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and I got it into my head it was a 'forthcoming attraction'!
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I usually drop a hint at the bottom of each column in the last line, but the one for 89 just mentioned a movie that few had seen..Im sure you can figure the 90s entry(which will be up in a few) from the clues at the end of Madman.
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I'm a slow writer - the column would be over and done by the time I finished one. Plus I'd have to re-watch most of these movies, couldn't do 'em from memory. Near Dark I could have done. And I probably should've done Street Trash!
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and mongoloid frenchy hulk destroys pretentious chinese hulk.
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I've hardly seen any of them. How did Near Dark slip below the radar
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I think it was popular at the time, but Glaive, a scottish gal no less from this site, sent it in and did a write-up for it. And Im sure there are those out there that havent seen it. But sometimes you get a year where its hard to find a good obscure movie. Take 90 for example. I think you can make the case for Exorcist 3 and Jacob's Ladder (my pick) being underrated but not obscure.
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one of the later years.
In fact, anyone out there with a horror movie choice from one of the years between 1991 and 2009, send it in. The criteria was it should be considered overrated or obscure or little seen, but mostly it should just be something you like. -
features an exploding frog. How about that for prophetic from the far-seeing Ang Lee!
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Of Unknown Origin and The Pit. I think you would find them most interesting. Theres alink on the right side that sorts out all the 30 Days columns from the other stuff.
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Really top film though. I'm not sure what it is.
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Apr 14, 2009 7:52:22 AM CDT
You can have your Hulk for morons, Jarv
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I'll take the Lee Hulk any day of the week. As for Lee himself, of his flicks that I've seen... Hulk - Mint Sense and Sensibility - Okay The Ice Storm - Good Ride with the Devil - Snorefest Crouching Tiger - Great the first time I watched it. A bit boring when I rewatched it. Haven't seen Brokeback or Lust Caution or his chinese stuff. So on the track record of what I've seen I would rate him, but not highly.
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for Storm Warning. I think that was about 2007. Does that movie qualify?Don't hold me to it, though...
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I'll get there. I can't get a copy of the pit over here. Which makes me sad. And Script Girl ripped off a Jimmy Carr Joke- can she sink any lower?
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Apr 14, 2009 7:56:41 AM CDT
I watched Near Dark for the first time this year
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I knew of it vaguely, only because of Bigelow really but it's not one of those flicks thats commonly known.
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is psychological horror. It doesn't matter whether it's in his mind or on some spiritual plane or whatever, the crap Robbins goes through, complete with demon attacks, monster rapes(it doesn't happen to him, but his gal pal) and all those creepy eyeless midget things in that sanitarium scene makes the stuff those ratty Hostel kids go through look like child's play, and no, not the one with the Dourif doll.
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I dont think I saw that! Was it good?
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Not really! Mildly diverting...Lunch over. I'm back to work. Ciao.
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Hulk= shite S&S= Shite ICe Storm= Good RWTD= Dull Crouching Tiger= Dull Brokeback= Dull Lust Caution= Dreadful. With Armpit hair. Lots of it.
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Crouching Tiger, however, was tops...Otherwise, I seen no real need to disagree with you on the others...Except The Hulk. It was MAGICAL.
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you've talked me into it.
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into Jacob's Ladder as horror. But it's been years since I've seen it.
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Apr 14, 2009 8:07:41 AM CDT
A tad overly critical aren't we Jarv?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Even if you don't like that kind of flick, you can't see how you can call S&S shite. It's not my thing, but it was okay. Of course, you have the inability to recognise the genius of Hulk, but call frenchys mentally challenged Hulk "mint". Go figure.
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Magical? Fuck no. Unless you count it as magic that he turned the Hulk into a constipated green chinese person. That was magic. And Hulk dogs. They were Paul Daniels level magic.
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Brain malfunction.
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I don't like Jane Austen as a rule. I especially don't like "sumptuous costume dramas". Therefore, it really is a film that I'm always going to think is shite. I do admit to prejudging it though- and it didn't do anything to change my mind. I think that's when he lost me with Crouching Tiger when he described it as "Jane Austen". No fucking thanks.
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Clueless and Not Another Teen Movie. Clueless is the only Jane Austen adaptation I like. It's good.
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I was trying to do Frank's 1 word review. Should have done "meh".
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Apr 14, 2009 8:15:04 AM CDT
Moron Hulk turned Banner into a bitch...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
who's afraid of sex, equates turning into Hulk as a fucking hallucinogenic which he barely remembers (wow. really interesting) and is directed with all the style of a Primark ad.
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out of 141 films I've seen 24 meh films, 67 mint ones and 59 wank ones. That's terrible. And a bit predictable seeing as I am at the mercy of TV schedules.
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with daddy issues and a turn for the pretentious and turned the hulk into a constipated chinese man that can't talk and can only fight abstract clouds in pitch blackness. Or poodles. Wank.
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I was just channeling Danny with "magical". I liked the original hulk O.K. when I saw it, but I havent thought much on it either way since then.
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Chinese hulk had the style of a mentally retarded 4 year old that thinks you should literally see comic panels on screen, and that shooting Hulk v Abstract idea in pitch blackness is a good idea. I will give you the sex thing. That was wank.
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I've not seen Army of Darkness or Alien 3 yet, so can boost the mint ones further with that. I can also add quite a lot of my home DVD collection that hasn't been watched yet. I think I'm trying to stagger them so that I don't blow all 4 Alien films and all 3 Evil Dead films by June
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you really blasted ahead.
Im not even sure where I am, I know I've now watched 15 horror films for 30 Days. Im probably in the same vicinity. -
Another Country, Dawson v Squid, Basic Instinct, Ghost Rider, A Knights Tale, Dr Doolittle films, Fuck me.
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Apr 14, 2009 8:29:28 AM CDT
If it's a choice between Hulk not talking or...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
him grunting two word catchphrases that make him sound like he has down syndrome then I'll take the former. It's knowing what works in a funny book and what works in a movie. The Incredible Hulk is a stupid character because as a rule, when he's not Banner he's mindless. Which is boring. Lee tried to make him more than that.
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than unexpected Gems. Indy 4, Turdmen, Sharks in Venice, Rumble Fish, Eye of Beast, FRANKENFISH, All the Boys Love MAndy Lane, Disturbance v Troll 2, Dark Angel, Chopper Chicks, Dead and Buried, Persepolis.
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Apr 14, 2009 8:32:19 AM CDT
"knowing what works in a funny book and what works in a movie"
by lost jarv
What, like say.... literally putting fucking panels on the screen?
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Apr 14, 2009 8:32:49 AM CDT
I kind of watched Dawson Vs Squid over the wkend...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I was drinking at the time, and I got bored and turned it off. It was also directly after I watched Eight Legged Freaks so it kind of paled in comparison.
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but of the 14 or so that I watched 8 of them came in the first 3 days. I got a bit burnt out.
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Apr 14, 2009 8:35:39 AM CDT
Yes, its a nod to the funny book...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
and a stylistic choice. It worked for me. I thought it was brilliant. What I'm talking about is the character, mate. What to keep and what to change.
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The one where everyone is singing their own songs, some of which have already been sung in the film, but they all sort of harmonize, and the bad white guys are marching to war against the natives, and they are superimposed in the blood red sky singing their song as Pocahontas runs to save John Smith and whatnot. Least, that's how I remember it. I thought that was pretty cool. Haven't seen it in years. Aladdin is definitely the best of the bunch (and one of my favorite Disney flicks). I remember having SUCH hope for Tarzan after that epic trailer showing the burning, sinking ship. But then Rosie O Donnel kinda ruined it. And it felt really short? Didn't seem as epic as it should have/could have been. Like my feelings on "Kung Fu Panda" to an extent. BUT, it does have Lance Henrikssen as a gorilla.
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Oooh, the one with the bizarre bird-man creature and everytime Bastian makes a wish he... loses some of his soul, or something like that?
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Apr 14, 2009 8:47:31 AM CDT
I've got a horror film from the last few yr I could write about.
by d.vader
Even better, its a BEAR movie. Though nothing as creative as "Prophecy".
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except every time I try to get it they keep trying to send me Christopher Walken as Gabriel nonsense.
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thought the "characters" in that shitfest were 1 dimensional cliched rubbish. Especially Banner.
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that's why. How annoying.
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hehehehehe
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Good choice.
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by myself. Mind you, I'm off in 20 mins.
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No Troll 2. You want to do it Jarv? If not Troll, the pretty please, Leprechaun in Space?
Also, are you guys registered over at Mavra? It would be nice to get some of the feedback over there too, especially for some of the new people who pop in, drop a review, and then pop back out. Lord knows if I could find a way to talk over there with the same regularity we have here, I'd leave this sinking ship in a heartbeat.
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What is it, or is it a secret?
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The only good thing about this place is the TB section. My computer is fucked so I may spend some of my work time writing up a Troll 2 review.
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so no troll 2. What a shame. Hilariously, I've just discovered that the crew only spoke Italian- which is why no bugger could understand what the cast were trying to do- and it's blatantly in Italy, not America.
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athough that's hardly one that slipped under the radar. Hmmm. I'll have a think.
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Jesus fucking christ. He really does like everything.
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We don't care if it's a few days late...Technically I should be writing up 1992 today and I just posted 90. Bring on the the troll 2 review. It's all good. And the Lep review.
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I will do both.
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The same way that Frank did about that Spader Thing rip off garbage.
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*pokes Jarv with stick*
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Because that would entail me watching it again. And that's not going to happen.
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The Spirit is not fun garbage, it's just garbage garbage.
Jarv, you registered over at Mavra? I need a fellow schlock-discusser over there who can debate the finer points of Hawk the Slayer. Now wouldn't that be something: 30 Days of Dumbhouse?
Also, Jarv we made a few leaps on the lesbo vs. lunar wolves film. Droid is working up a structure, and I offered the tidbit of having Neil Armstrong with lesbians on either arm rolling over werewolves in his moon rover while yelling "One small step for man...game over for YOU!!"
Others were more helpful, including chipps which had a whole thoughtful treatise on why there would be lesbians in space. -
and it's quite hard.
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I watched it purely to see a train wreck, but it was just fucking boring shit.
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if It wasn't from Dark Angel. I've got the solution for your "Werewolf on the moon conundrum". It's a prison that a hyper evolved Alien shapeshifting species dump "bad dogs" on. And why are they astro-dykes? An STD was developed covertly to thin out the chinese population boom, but instead of it just making people infertile it proved to be fatal to men. Women, through lack of options, became lesbians as a result and as Dyke-ness was the predominant philosophy when they reproduce by cloning they only put more women out. This way you can keep your Russian moon landing and have a whole load of schlocky goodness as well. Not to mention some psuedo-porny shots of the dykes weariing/ taking off fascist uniforms before they suit up.
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I am reliably informed that Lesbian Vampire Killers is "Fucking dreadful unfunny pish, and those 2 overexposed chumps want a kicking".
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The Reason that the Astro-Dykes are having such problems is that the Werewolves are clearly bored of the moon and looking to escape.
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I already suggested the "bad dogs" reasoning. I think the consensus was they have to be werewolves from earth, and not alien in origin.
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Apr 14, 2009 10:42:07 AM CDT
I think we need to stay in the realms of...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
the established "rules" for werewolves. By that I mean not alien in origin. I think it would be more ridiculous for them to be what we know as traditional werewolves, but just somehow evolved to survive on the moon. Or we say the moon has been colonised and therefore we just need any old excuse to get some blokes up there that will turn into werewolves.
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The Heroes thread is like being whipped by an angry Southerner.
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Well done, gentlemen.Jarv, welcome back. No rush on the scotch although you do have me salivating.It sounds like TGTBTW was one of your better viewing experiences so for that I'm pleased.I have never seen Lust Caution but I have it. Should I just toss it in the bin?I'm going to get drunk and watch The Spirit this weekend I think. I need a good drunken laugh.I'm off for the next few days to spend time with my dad but hopefully I can have many drunken entries.Technically we could get started with the Werewolves on the Moon script over on the Z-drive. Admittedly I have a lot on my plate right now constructing a new Bale site and trying to prepare a script for submission, but I can always find time for lunar lesbians.
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Do. NOT. watch. The. FUCKING. Spirit. I am not playing, nor kidding, nor being funny. It is the worst comic-book film ever made. Not funny, not so bad it's funny, it is cats and dogs living together in perfect harmony ass.
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Apr 14, 2009 10:56:54 AM CDT
And as far as a werewolf infestation on the moon
by hawaiian organ donor
You guys are overthinking it. All we need is an opening with a shipment of dogs being delivered to the colony. The token redshirt is unloading them into a kennel and he gets bitten. Then over a dinner scene similiar to John Hurt in Alien, he goes into full wolf mode and the massacre ensues. And as they're on the moon, from their perspective it's always full so it's werewolves 24/7.
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Apr 14, 2009 10:57:00 AM CDT
I'm going to have a go at a bit of a treatment...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
for werewolves on the moon and go from there. What is zdrive?
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and you know it has to be if I bothered to remove the asterisks, little prude that I sm.
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It's tough with everyone saying 'Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead.' I'M NOT FUCKING DEAD GOD-DAMNIT.
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Im not sure we can get anyone else added over at Zhura. That was a problem before. Maybe construct it through emails, and contact one another via Mav's site?
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Because I *do* want to watch The Spirit.
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I'll drop it into my recycle bin when I get home.
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Yeah - you tried to add me, it bombed.
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Apr 14, 2009 11:10:54 AM CDT
We need to figure out who's interested in writing
by hawaiian organ donor
As soon as we have a committed group, then we need to propose a storyboard.
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As soon as we get everyone onboard, I suggest we take a vote of the various plot points (e.g. how the werewolves arrive on the moon, colony or prison, how Buzz Armstrong gets involved, etc.) and then when we've come to an agreement on the basics, we can let everyone run with it. Or not.
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I can't single-handedly keep this thread alive.
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I'm working with ya, HOD! Give me some adrenaline, STAT!
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I'll try to make a trip to the post office this week. With my dad here it's been hectic.
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Can't wait! And no rush, I understand. Dad's in town, got lots of catching up to do. I mean, drinking up to do.
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I had a whole case of Corona on Sunday. Paid for that yesterday.
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Désolé mais moi vais devoir être en désaccord avec Jarv perdu sur ANG Lee' ; de s. Je suis un homme français et même je déteste la carcasse française. C'était merde complète et la dire est un meilleur puis ANG Lees' ; le chef d'oeuvre est un déshonneur au CoC entier ! ! ! ! ! ! La carcasse de Lees est le meilleur film de bande dessinée jamais. Au moins à mon avis. Excepté le travail incertain de cgi tout dans le film est parfait. La prise cérébrale brillante sur un caractère qui était jusqu'à ce film quelques ordures boiteuses d'âne s'est dirigée vers une assistance en mort cérébrale. La fin était en particulier grande. Pas sure comment vous ne pouvez pas l'aimer. I' ; le VE non jamais vu quelque chose comme beau dans un film de bande dessinée. Si étrange et merveilleux. A aimé le peu où la bannière de papa embrasse son fils bonne nuit avant qu'il meure. Également la carcasse n'était pas chinoise, ni a fait il semblent chinois de sorte qu'ait été embrouillant. Et les panneaux de bande dessinée étaient grands. Wok non vu d'écran divisé ce bon depuis De Palma tôt. Quoi qu'il en soit les chiens aboient, la caravane passe. Je donnerais à ce film des points parfaits. Quelque chose moins justifierait une corde blanche épaisse énorme ...... de DESTRUCTION FOUTUE de TOTAL ! ! ! ! ! !
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watch 'the hollowmen' simular to frontline in most ways, same guys (rob sitch ect). It is about spin doctors in canberra. it's good.
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one of moore's weakest. he does a far less good job mocking and or parodying those he against and comes off looking a bit like a fool. and this from someone who agrees with his essential point and lives in a coutry that pretty much has universal healthcare and a healthy national balance sheet. his satire failed him a bit in this one
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snakes on a plane, planet terror, madagascar (WHAT ARE THEY!!!!), deliverance and blood simple. deliverance was not what i was expecting - much better in fact. not a bad set.
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the theme of 90s horror was batshit crazy bitches. you have gone past some but you've still got single white female and hand that rocks the cradle
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who was too stupid to 'get' the absoulty brilliant ang lee hulk, which as far as i was concerned was shit.
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of course they do. that is why they come out on earth when the moon is full. baring that, i say that scientists take regular dogs up to the moon (cause they have run out of monkies or some shit) and something on the moon turns these dogs into werewolves. see there is a lot of other things we could do, but it kinda has to be set in the 60s, if the other parts are going to work. maybe one of the astronauts (or cosmonauts if they are russian) is secretly a wearwolf and is going to the moon for some mysterious purpose, perhaps to find a cure. he got bitten in siberia or some shit. then shit goes awry.
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Content pour voir que nous sommes sur la même page de nouveau mon ami. J'aime aussi et apprécie homme de Chine film Massif. Je me sens qu'il déchire la baise de la foutaise de chiffons de cunt française. Il peut sucer le sang de dick de mon coq coupé après que je le romps dans sa Grande fichue chatte de TANTE Milda. La fichue prostituée stupide. BAISER QUE L'HOMME français BETE. Le français devrait arrêter de faire des films et rester à la maison baisant la chatte de cheveux de leur fichue femme. J'aime en fait un minet poilu. Je l'ai dit avant, mais j'apprécie des cheveux sombres épais sur un cunt, et il m'excite honnêtement pour descendre sur un poussin avec un cunt broussailleux. J'aime que cela chie tout mouillé et peu soigné avec ma salive. De toute façon, l'Epave de Lee d'Ang est un film intelligent. Comment la baise les gens ne peuvent-ils pas aimer Eric Bana dans ce rôle ? Il ne m'étonne pas. J'aime le CoC, mais quelquefois leur goût confond et me révolte. Les gens voici défendant toujours Mon Nom Est Bruce. Cela aveuglément suivant juste.
De toute façon, aller avec le chrétien Emballotte mon ami. Bon de vous voir au site. Merci pour votre soutien.
Sincèrement -- votre ami, votre Sang de Dickblood -
J'aime Le Menton et l'amour est sans visibilité. Il est aussi simple que celui.
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Vous aimez le menton pour les autres buts. Je respecte cela. Les femmes aiment un bon tour de menton.
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J'aime beaucoup de parties du corps des hommes. J'aime Bruce pour son menton, et vous pour le votre sang de Dickblood. Vos pièces ont toujours mon respect complet.
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Naturellement, j'aime Toadkillerdog pour ses testicules explosifs. Mmmm...L'explosif et délicieux!
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They should make a Terminator with that feature. That could completely change the Terminator mythology if Michael Biehn was actually a Terminator with explosive balls. The machines realized its no use to introduce gun-play. It just gets messy. So why not send back an attractive stud like Biehn. Have him seduce Sarah, take her back to his place, have her suck on his balls and blow her fucking head off.
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No other type will ever compare. And now Toad is wary of me. I simply must find a way to regain his trust. The big boom is a real rush!
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Apr 14, 2009 9:12:54 PM CDT
A wad of cum from explosive balls can cure the common cold.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
on that night...FUCK YOU SEATTLE!! GOODNIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS!! BAM! I slam that fucking mic stand....HARD.
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FUCK.....THAT.
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Apr 14, 2009 9:15:21 PM CDT
All I know...you're back in 1st motherfuckers.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
And thats all that matters. Respect. If anyone needs me, I'll be here:http://tinyurl.com/cxcamtUsername: STRETCH_THE_VULNERABLE3
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This weekend.
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And I don't know shit. Je suis American!
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I have to work overtime on holidays. I admit to cheating on the French. I know some, but for the complicated sentences, I'mm using a translator.
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I wonder if Babelfish translates typos to English?
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You said Open Season was good.....I'm about half way through, when does the good part start?
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That's cool. I'm just saying I should be able to understand a little bit of that. But I don't
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I took French, Spanish, German, and Latin and barely remember any of them. That was time well spent.
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5 years of college and two degrees, doesn't mean shit when trying to get a job. Kind of wish I just didn't go to college got a job and went to technical school.
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Mavra, gå äta vissa kryddig svenska köttbulle, eftersom du aldrig kommer att smaka toadkillerdog bollar igen!
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Have you guys seen this? http://tinyurl.com/csac8f New comic coming out soon.
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Vot' osti de faux français de France est drôle à lire mais calvaire que la traduction est pas toujours bonne ou cohérente!
Mavra, chérie, oublie ces imbécile de SangDeBite et LàLoup, pis viens voir Monsieur_Ecureuil, j'vas te licher ta belle plotte juteuse jusqu'à ce que t'en peuve pu de jouir et que tu me suplisses de t'enculer. -
Apr 14, 2009 9:46:45 PM CDT
Utom min liv vilja bli ofullständig utan så pass smaksinne!
by mavra chang
Toadkillerdog, JAG älska din testikel. JAG lusta för dem och till deras. Skulle du neka min nödvändigtvis?
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Merci pour votre désir. J'apprécie l'offre gracieuse d'une bonne baise, mais je la soif pour Toadkillerdog et non autre. Toadkillerdog a de grands testicules explosifs comme aucun autre homme. Je suis sous son charme pour la vie.
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Når du har en last av padde, ingenting annet kan gjøre deg eksplodere! Goodnight og begjær på.
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Dröm av jag.
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So I went to Nc.gov to check and see if I could find any information on what I paid the state last year (as all my copies of last year's returns have gone missing...). But while there, I discovered that NC is one of, like, 13 states that allows you to use TurboTax Freedom Edition FREE if you qualify. Well, I'm not in the armed services, but I DID make under $30,000, so it all worked out. And my God, its SO much easier than pouring over these books overloaded with confusing verbiage. I was able to claim the computer I bought back in 2007 (but didn't claim last year) with the appropriately adjusted depreciation, as well as some other business expenses that were too difficult to add to the paper return. And now I'm done. All I need to do tomorrow is print out the forms and write the checks. And its only 1:10 am. I certainly expected to be up until at least 4 am getting this stuff figured out. Thank you Turbo Tax, and thank you North Carolina. (Yeah, I'm a procrastinating slacker)
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At least the federal part. They charge out the whazoo for state. Never use them for that.
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Way to go, man!
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It also helped me knock the $1089 I owed Federal down to $179. Whew. I've never owed *that* much before, but this year I got a LOT more in 1099s than I did W2s.
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Cost me up the wazoo!!!!!!!! A fucking lot of money for me to be lazy.
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It took me long enough to find a benefit in that.
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I never go to a human for my taxes. Strictly PC for me. Can't afford to let a person see them (and mine are pretty simple to do myself).
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Never been more happy to be earning so little.
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When I was filling out my W-4's last year I put 0 instead of 1. So taxes fucked me.
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No one wins against the IRS either. I had a friend who lost his house when he made a big error and tried to fight them about it. He could have just paid them, but he was stubborn and the interest wiped him out. Rough way to learn a life lesson.
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Look like she knows what the fuck she's talking about. FUCK YOU JANET, you were a worthless govenor and now and even more worthless head of a fucking redundant piece of shit department. I'm pissed after writing the large ass check that I had to write. MOTHERFUCKERS.
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Yeah, I've watched The Hollowmen. Great stuff. (And Lee's Hulk is awesome!)
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Apr 15, 2009 3:49:22 AM CDT
So, looks like I'm on my own again
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
With zero to talk about as I just went to the pub to watch the soccer last night. Didn't get a chance to start on the WOTM structure. Will do asap.
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the fucking revenue are after me with a vengeance- and I don't even owe them anything. Dirty fucking bastards
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which is OK because it means that it still doesn't count and I need to be up to 160 odd by the end of April (Which is easy) and I've got fuck loads of time off still
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and I'm astounded to report that it doesn't actually suck any more. It's still not very good, but Ali Larter's death was quality. There's a hell of a lot of bollocks, though.
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Moore is right, but he fucks up badly with the Cuba thing- and the NHS. At the beginning he shows where America is on the world health chart and it's 47 (or something). But what's hilarious is that it's one place above Cuba- which he then portrays as some kind of paradise. Silly fuck up that.
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DO NOT WATCH LUST CAUTION. It has no value whatsoever. Not even as porn. Utter, utter shit.
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people, please, it's been about 5 fucking years since I last spoke it, and 10 since I last studied it. I cannot read it for shit. And Froggie TFD- Hulk suckez on le grande cock.
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then how about the Fascist Astrodyke thingy?
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are fucking AWESOME. And I really want to nail Bridget Fonda. Even when she was a smack whore in Kiss of The Dragon.
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I agree. Hot. Especially in Jackie Brown.
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Apr 15, 2009 4:43:58 AM CDT
Haven't watched Heroes for about 10 episodes
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I have them all sitting there waiting to watch, but i can't bring myself to do it.
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but the last 2 I saw have been pleasant surprises.
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whatever happened to her?
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According to wiki she married danny elfman and pretty much hasn't made a film since.
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FuckMind you, I still would.
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if either of you are around, better check out Mav's site. I cant tell for sure, but you might have pissed Herb off.
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hot in her five seconds of screentime in Army of Darkness
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I'll e-mail you my werewolves on the moon idea when I get home. It's the address you left further back in the TB, right?There's no Buzz/Russians in mine coz I did it before all that stuff started happening but there might be something you can use.Okay?
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Sounds good, mate. I'm gathering up all the ideas and looking to incorporate as many as possible. Yeah, same email address as before. Cheers.
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Apr 15, 2009 7:56:13 AM CDT
Quiet day today for the CoC brethren
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Where everyone at? I require entertaining.
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Going home. See you tomorrow.
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It was there this morning then gone?
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Do not watch that either. Ivan Rietman has lost his mind, hopefully he does not direct any future Ghost Busters. He didn't have anything to do with Trailer Park Boys, but he produced it. I didn't find anything funny to be had about the whole experience.
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Did the comic reviews not get posted?
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Do you know what happened?
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I figured if that font thing didn't get fixed, it wasn't gonna get posted. Right?
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The Ignition city thing got taken down. I was going to wait to hear why before I posted anything else.
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talk to herb. I think he was ticked about the post and was asking that you take it down before he got back to it, or he was gonna take it down. I'd talk to him before posting anything else like that.
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but the fact it was more or less an IM conversation.
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I didn't much like it either. I was thinking more like two reviews on the same comic, and we would just throw it in at the end with the rest of them. It's not such a big deal for me, since I basically agree about it being kinda awkward, but Series is the one who worked on it. Is there some sort of criteria we need to keep in mind for the stuff we post? I thought it was a blog type thing for all the C of C people. I agree though, the Ignition City thing could have been done better.
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Herb gets the last word on the stuff we post?
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and I feel bad about talking about all of this on here. Is there somewhere else this can be discussed? If anyone has any questions or comments they would like to share, you can always reach me at kungfuhustler84@aol.comAnd Herb, sorry about all that
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The AIM thing I was just thinking would be an interesting thing about the new comic. Sorry you guys didn't like it. We'll try something different next time.
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Is there a review up at Mav's place? If not I might write one up.
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Dickblood to like the AIM convo.
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Danny, if you see this, thanks for the words of encouragement!I think something like that can work in more of a podcast format. If people could hear it instead of having to read it, it would come across more naturally. It was just two guys chatting about a book we were both pretty enthusiastic about. Maybe just two reviews would be better though?
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Like a question an answer sort of thing. Like I ask a question you give an answer you ask a question I give an answer or something like that. Yeah thanks Danny I'm glad you liked it. You would really like that authors work.
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I'm really curious to hear what everybody thought of Knowing. I still haven't seen it, but I plan to go soon enough, maybe a matinee this weekend.
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check him out Danny. If Spider Jerusalem were a real guy, he would be a high ranking member of the Church of Chang.
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On tv again. Surprisingly sad in that scene.
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I posted the reviews. But the damn text did it again.
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I really liked it. The artwork's great and the lead character isn't an idiot. Plus you've gotta love the flash gordon/buck rogers/yuri gagarin references. Maybe a little bit exposition-heavy, but that's the price you pay for getting the story into 5 issues, I guess. Wish it was set-up to be a bit longer of a series.
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Apr 15, 2009 6:28:00 PM CDT
Kung. No I don't think reviews would be better.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Every fucking site online is inundated with people thinking they know how to write a serious fucking review. I'm sick of it. I was drawn to your post because it was more casual, more conversational, and it felt like I was just bullshitting with some friends. Ellis is the guy that did Punisher for a long time right? I have a few hardcover compilation books. Very good stuff.
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What do you think of our reviews?
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And have no idea what the characters are talking about.
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Apr 15, 2009 7:48:53 PM CDT
Series. They're good. Some are a bit too long I think.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
If you're gonna cover this much material I would stick to one paragraph each. The little exchange at the end is the best part. I think I liked the approach so much because when you are just working off each other going back and forth, you tend to dump a ton of information rather quickly. Its a little more random and fragmented, sure....but you get the point. I just think it works better for comics for some odd reason. I guess because any time I heard anyone discussing issues, it was a light hearted back and forth like that. You cut out all the fat that way. No need for an introduction and closing and all that. Just get straight to it -- I LIKE THIS ISSUE. THE FIGHTS KICK ASS. Its the snappy information one would seek while buying comics. Its not just a review of one film. I would suspect most people reading comic reviews are buying a shit load of them.
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Apr 15, 2009 7:49:30 PM CDT
8.2 out of 10 African orphans holding handguns incorrectly
by dannyglovers_dickblood
I like your rating system.
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how's your wednesday?
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I would like to review more. Just short on time and shit. Also having to buy all the comics meself living off of 0 money makes it hard. Yeah I like the short reviews as well. Its all a work in progress. If you go into a comic shop you ask anyone any question and usually its like oh it was written by THIS guy WHO DID THIS WHO HEARD ABOUT THAT how had a friend how read THIS who bought a copy of THIS but only reads THAT sort of convo. And sometimes your just like? Ok so was the comic any good?
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Have you read any Doktor Sleepless?
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How's yours? Got my taxes mailed off, working on some video exports, watching LOST, then heading to my dad's to house sit and play Guitar Hero and drink some Fat Tire Ale. Its going well so far!
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That is something I noticed too after finishing this last batch. I like the conversation style too. Maybe one not as lengthy? The input is VERY MUCH appreciated by the way. Okay, I'm off to dine before Lost and homework consume the remainder of my evening. Toodles.
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I take 3 days off from work to spend with my dad and it looks like the next 4 days I'll be spending with him in the hospital. He appeared to have a stroke this morning so I called an ambulance and 10 hours later it's gone from a stroke to meningitis to a nasty viral infection.I was sure it was a stroke because my dad couldn't even recognize me and called me "Visitor" because of my name tag.So I'm here in an ER room and thank christ the hospital has Wi-Fi.
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That is a fine Wednesday. I'm waiting on Lost--roughly 4 hours to go. Trying to decide whether or not to watch a movie or do some writing in the meantime. Definitely did NOT do my taxes yet. Last year my broke ass got audited. This year I fucked up and forgot!
Hope this week's ep is good. Thought last week was great right up until they decided to go all cheeseball cgi trippiness. I would've maybe stuck with audio and Ben's reactions rather than having the flashback scenes actually playing out on smokey. It would've looked cool in a comic book though, so I'm guessing that's the work of Vaughan. -
FUCK...I'm so sorry.
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Sorry man.
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I'm so sorry. I hope everything works out. I'll be thinking about you and your dad.
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I'm sorry to hear about your dad's illness. We'll all be wishing him a speedy recovery and sending out heartfelt thoughts to him,to you, and to your family.
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Really sorry about your dad dude. Hope he gets well fast!
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He's up and looking better. And he knows who I am now!Mavra, don't know what happened over at the site but tell Herb to relax. Days like today make me feel like such a shitheel whenever I complain about simple stuff. Nothing sobers you up when you're convinced a parent is moments from dying.Like. A. Bitch.Watching CNN right now. WTF is up with these TEA Parties and the run on guns? Has this country gone insane in one day?
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I mean, I *love* the idea, and a big part of me smiles when I see what people are capable of and that we live in a country that allows such expression. But, in the end, I think these things are stupid. Conservatives and Fox News will try and claim these are full of bipartisan citizens who are fed up with the government, and they're right to an extent. But these tea parties were supported and funded by conservative groups and advertised *heavily* on conservative radio and on Fox News (which bemused "I bet the mainstream media won't report on it"- why? Why wouldn't they? Because its obviously a conservative thing?) All this talk about big government and taxes is a smokescreen for anti-Obama and anti-Democrat rants, and unfortunately, that sorta thing appeals to all the dumbasses in America. If they were REALLY concerned about "big government" getting too involved in our lives, why weren't they protesting and complaining the past 8 years when our budget surplus went down the drain into a massive deficit? Or when Bush and Cheney organized the biggest power grab by the federal government? Where were the complaints then? The whole thing is just an attempt to shift the blame to Obama and his administration. And it brings the real idiots out of the woodwork. Someone on CNN today had a poster of Adolf Hitler but with Obama's face on it. When asked by a reporter what that meant, he replied "Obama is a fascist." "Well why do you say that?" "Because he is." "How so?" "Obama is a fascist, so we're protesting." You see? These morons. Do they even know what fascism means? I hate this thing.
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Dressed up in their colonial gear and throwing tea into the river. I love it. But then I think "a lot of people are wasting a lot of good tea". And I remember the majority of them are morons. Really? You guys are protesting your tax breaks this year?
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I got scared when he didn't recognize you, but I'm glad he's going to pull through and end up allright.
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But I'm still gonna hang around here for a bit.
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They're going to move my dad to a private room in the early morning and I needed to come home to get some rest and let him get some rest. I knew he was almost back to normal when while watching CNN he was ranting against the hording of gun ammo, the Tea Party folks and the African pirates.I need to wind down with some rum and coke and a movie first. The Spirit is looking at me but I think I'll go with Doubt or Seven Pounds instead. Wait. Those are depressing right? I need a good laugh. Maybe the Tale of Despereaux then.
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The two former are waaaay too depressing and serious methinks. Desperaux seems lighthearted, but I bet you'll laugh more at "Spirit". Glad everything's going ok.
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I watch the Muppets when I need a lift. Glad to hear your Dad's doing better.
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I can understand being conflicted about that. On the one hand, it's kind of comforting to see people take to the streets at all. It's too bad that they're confused (in my opinion they're confused), but at the same time, that confusion almost makes sense. It's not like we live in a monarchy or something, where the source of one's ills is a clearly defined target. As for the folks who think that Obama is to blame, well, it's amazing to me that a person could rationally come to that conclusion. Then again, I feel the same way about people that really believe Obama's going to "save" us.
We all know shit's fucked up, and has been for some time. And it can be hard to know where or how to direct that rage. Though if people are protesting so-called "nanny government", it's a good bet that my feelings and their feelings ain't the same feelings.
And to bring fucking HITLER into it is pretty goddamn unconscionable. Hitler comparisons in general are thrown around way too casually, as is the term "fascism". It's ridiculous. That kind of bullshit, insensitive, ahistorical rhetoric does nothing but obscure the real problems...problems that are specific to a particular time and place.
I just don't see where the problem is taxes. Do people even have a concept how much they end up benefiting from the taxes they pay? From where I sit, the problem is CLEARLY capitalism in it's present form. Then again, from where I sit....it's all starting to seem pretty fucking hopeless, so who knows.
Good lord, that's scattered...Okay, I'll stop ranting incoherently now. LOST. Soon... -
Messaging him on the site. Never got a reply. You seen the new reviews?
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I just watched that the other night. It's almost like a horror movie. I think Echo should do it for his 2008 horror movie a day thing. Its about how fucked up America is with its finances and how we are pretty much screwed.
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looking spiffy. I actually didn't pick up that one Deadpool comic after reading the shitty one with the "death games" or whatever, but you convinced me to go back and check it out again. So kudos to you sir!
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Just seemed like a rough draft for the other one.
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I'll tell you more of my thoughts on the TEA parties. But after I finish this delicious beer.... Oh no, are we in for a ... D.Vader DRUNKENING>?!?!?
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Its Hendrick's Gin. I've never had it before. Product of Scotland. The back clearly states "This is NOT for everyone". Gotta love a bottle of liquor that has the balls to tell that to its customers.
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going to have to go home again. Last night was Sky Captain and The World of Tomorrow, which I've never seen before and does in fact suck balls. I was ill as well so that's well unfair.
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Dude, take some medicine. Hope you feel better.
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seriously, he's fucking dreadful.
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Busiest day of the next 3 months.
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My old man had a richter scale stroke a few years ago- if it's caught early enough there is a good chance of rehabilitation. It just takes fucking years.
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Gin is an English/ Indian drink. SCots make Whisky.
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Dude, theres new twitch
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The way forward.
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huzzah! I'm not allowed to go home until midday, this is shit,
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I sent you an email at the address you left above, let me know if you got it.
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SUCKED ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
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