Home Cool News Coaxial Reviews Zone Chat Contact Us Sign in

Harry writes his review FAST & FURIOUS!

Hey folks, Harry here.. Still in lingering agony over a pulled muscle in my back that I can only assume was caused by a banned Talkbacker with a VooDoo Doll ordered from Creepshow magazine.

As Massawyrm pointed out tonight, it is fitting that my back is screaming, because when I was at the screening for the first film for this franchise... I was recovering from some sort of back trauma. I don't remember that part, but I remember the audience. It was a PURE carsploitation genre loving audience. The parking lot was filled with hot rods and low riders. After the film, they began drag racing around the lots - plumes of rubber burning smoke everywhere. Pretty great audience that got me just in the mood for the film.

This time out, it was different. I had a 100 seats to fill in an auditorium that held lots more - so it was a more relaxed screening. There were no cherry whacked out vehicles out front. And I know I might not seem like a gearhead, but there was a point where I could & did strip down an engine - and loved the Zen of working on a car. Made me feel like Luke Skywalker tooling away on a droid or his landspeeder... Going to a Western Auto or an Auto Zone was like going to pick up some Power Converters.

These 4 FAST AND FURIOUS movies are a solid goofball run on the Carsploitation Genre.

Now - they're not THE GREAT CAR MOVIES OF ALL TIME, but they more solidly exist within a fantasy gearhead universe that I kind of adore.

The worst film of the franchise is the 2nd. The best film was the first one. Lastly the most fun was TOKYO DRIFT - simply because it was just ludicrously fun.

So where does this newly tooled tricked out FAST AND FURIOUS settle down?

Well - there's still a race. There's still crazy high speed criminal activity. And there's some crazy awesome at play throughout. Biggest issue this time out is a bit of uneven storytelling that hurts what at times feels like the best of the series.

What is Great?

VIN DIESEL.

For a goodly portion of FAST AND FURIOUS - they seem to want to apply the mentality of Film Noir to their own particular brand of carsploitation. In particular - Vin Diesel is playing a character that is three quarters Billy Jack and one quarter Moose Malloy - shaken and poured into Mr Clean's idealized body! Something has gone rotten in Toretto's life - I'll let the film play it out for you, but he's hungry for blood. And there is a glorious bit of Vin just stomping gum and chewing ass for a part of this movie. Then there's a point where the film just kinda plopped into the FAST AND FURIOUS Mold. He's still driven by revenge, but it seems they begin putting more and more of Paul Walker's Brian O'Conner into play.

Honestly, Vin Diesel is the star of this franchise. He's just. His name, his voice... he's created for this character. (psst... and Riddick)

Jack Conley's PENNING!

Jack's Penning is so much fun. He's a fantastic character, he plays the FBI agent running the operation that Paul Walker is on. You see - there's a mysterious man running an operation where illegal street racers are being brought into the country to drive loads of narcotics into this country - in quantities far greater than any trafficking business in recorded criminal history. Whoever runs it is a smokes and mirrors guy - they're not even sure if he exists, no photos, fingerprints, voice recordings... they have NO evidence of his existence beyond the fact everything points at him. PENNING's team hasn't been doing particularly good on this case, so he activates a suspended former agent, our boy Brian to infiltrate with his awesome Car savvy and not end up dead like every other dead agent they sent in.

Now Vin and Brian's interests and motivations are not exactly the same. Brian wants the "invisible man" and Vin wants to KILL... PAINFULLY... The Invisible Man's tattooed Oddjob fella.

This leaves the gal parts pretty much short and sweet. Jordana Brewster is beautiful and cute as aways, but her part is an after thought here. She's on screen to tear up, to smile, to hug and to begin kitchen sex - which is so far beneath the standard bearer of Kitchen Sex... Jack Nicholson and Jessica Lange in the remake of THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE. But, that's probably just me. Sigh.

Now - you want to know about the car stuff. It is decidedly less silly than that "drifting lunacy" in the last film, which technically happens - probably two movies after this one - at least.

Also - it should be noted that Paul Walker's face has finally matured to the point that he is now very tolerable on screen. He's also dropped the Keanu act. Blessedly. In many ways - he feels like a fully developed version of his original character - who has learned a great deal since that first experience. He also thinks he knows the lay of the land. He kinda does. But he still isn't worthy of one of Vin's follicles. And we all know how dear those are to Vin!

Speaking of Vin, I just want to go back to him. This time out, Vin Diesel is some sort of Road Jedi. There's an awesome, prepare to majorly suspend your suspension of belief, moment where Vin comes to the site of his tragedy (of which he was not a part of) and just looking at the road - he can see everything that happened. Including both cars - their makes and tire brands. He's like an asphalt Chingachgook mixed with a bit of Magua. It is very very cool.

The car sequences push believability - in the same awesome craziness we've come to expect from this series.

Though I am still hoping for a stand alone TORETTO movie - where Vin's Dominic is the central and main focus of the film. Vin has transformed his character with this storyline into a Thinking Man's Thug. He's a man with a code to live by and kill by. A tad of his Riddick abilities leak in here - in terms of his ability to constantly be several steps ahead of everyone else - and to do it with heaps of relish.

What's wrong?

Every attempt at romance. It just plays forced and will cause giggles, rolled eyes and sighs from the audience, and not the heart thumping sighs Romance is meant to cause.

This is very nearly a better film than the first - the parts that rule here, are the best parts of the series. The best thing that could have happened in this film - would have been has Sung Kang's Han had been the other MAIN character of the film - working with Toretto to exact his revenge. Alas - we get just the slightest glimpse of that awesome pairing.

If you like this series - you're going to LOVE this! If you don't - the film will have its moments, but it won't convert you to the series if you've dismissed it. While this is a sequel to the original we've been waiting for, it acknowledges the other installments smartly.

Do you think the next one will be called FAST, FURIOUS!?!?

AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Click for previous story Talk Back Click for next story

User login

Reader Talkback


by Motfilms
Mar 31st, 2009
01:42:19 AM
More Riddick please!
by Spifftacular Squirrel Girl
Mar 31st, 2009
01:46:46 AM
Plant.
by ErnestBorgNine
Mar 31st, 2009
01:58:40 AM
The Slow and The Moderately Unhappy
by deanbarry
Mar 31st, 2009
01:58:41 AM
Motfilms
by deanbarry
Mar 31st, 2009
02:00:29 AM
PS: Harry
by deanbarry
Mar 31st, 2009
02:03:38 AM
didn't harry run a F&F Screening Contest?
by loserguy3000
Mar 31st, 2009
02:05:52 AM
deanbarry
by Motfilms
Mar 31st, 2009
02:09:28 AM
Are we getting an RIP TB for Andy Hallett?
by Brody77
Mar 31st, 2009
02:11:00 AM
The Slow Down and Ran Out of Steam
by lockesbrokenleg
Mar 31st, 2009
02:11:59 AM
Damn Good Review Harry
by MANZILLA
Mar 31st, 2009
02:15:02 AM
Intellectually, I should be appalled at these films...
by Gabba-UK
Mar 31st, 2009
02:29:02 AM
The Next One Will Be Called...
by TheMovieLover
Mar 31st, 2009
02:42:50 AM
Faster and More Aggravated.
by deanbarry
Mar 31st, 2009
03:00:27 AM
Motfilms...
by deanbarry
Mar 31st, 2009
03:01:14 AM
CREEPSHOW subscription finally pays off!
by Horace Cox
Mar 31st, 2009
03:04:35 AM
Best comment I saw when the "Fast & Furious" title was announced
by Ravetin
Mar 31st, 2009
03:09:18 AM
there was a point where I could & did strip down an engine
by Mister McClane
Mar 31st, 2009
03:51:43 AM
Always take Harry's reviews with a grain a salt!
by ganymede3010
Mar 31st, 2009
04:02:18 AM
PEOPLE HAVE DIED IN MY CITY BECAUSE OF THESE FUCKING MOVIES
by THEFUCKINGCREEPYTHINMAN
Mar 31st, 2009
04:30:43 AM
I GOT MY EXPLODING CIGARS FROM THE BACK PAGES OF CREEPSHOW!!!
by THEFUCKINGCREEPYTHINMAN
Mar 31st, 2009
04:32:28 AM
re:loserguy3000
by roughneck1010
Mar 31st, 2009
04:54:39 AM
Justin Lin Is A Great Director
by Media Messiah
Mar 31st, 2009
05:09:50 AM
The next one will be called
by MrFusion
Mar 31st, 2009
05:38:22 AM
Plodding Retread
by PTSDPete
Mar 31st, 2009
05:43:24 AM
This shouldn't have gotten past one movie and you want a fifth?
by JuanSanchez
Mar 31st, 2009
05:45:45 AM
"stomping gum and chewing ass"
by Jesiah
Mar 31st, 2009
06:06:04 AM
"stomping gum and chewing ass"
by Jesiah
Mar 31st, 2009
06:06:42 AM
The Fast and the Furious Bicycles
by JoeSixPack
Mar 31st, 2009
07:24:10 AM
Sold
by IWANNNAFUCKJESSICABIEL
Mar 31st, 2009
07:58:02 AM
GRANDMASTER FAST & THE FURIOUS 5
by turketron
Mar 31st, 2009
08:39:19 AM
Its gona have 2be 5Fast 5Furious
by Stupendous Man
Mar 31st, 2009
09:27:39 AM
The Fast and Furious Five
by Stupendous Man
Mar 31st, 2009
09:30:28 AM
No MONSTERS VS.ALIENS review, Harry?
by Mr Incredible
Mar 31st, 2009
09:44:20 AM
My grief with FnF movies is that the stunt
by ominus
Mar 31st, 2009
10:02:38 AM
Harry is...
by MainMan2001
Mar 31st, 2009
10:13:31 AM
The next one will be called FASTIOUS
by The Reluctant Austinite
Mar 31st, 2009
10:55:33 AM
1 & 3 > 2
by Saluki
Mar 31st, 2009
10:59:08 AM
The next one will be F & F
by Tell_Your_Mom_I_Said_Hi
Mar 31st, 2009
11:23:45 AM
LAST!!!!
by thefrood
Mar 31st, 2009
11:27:36 AM
Less Furious, but more Faster.
by uberman
Mar 31st, 2009
11:36:43 AM
See Harry? THIS kind of writing is TOLERABLE
by D.Vader
Mar 31st, 2009
11:46:02 AM
Brokeback Furious
by David Assholehoff
Mar 31st, 2009
12:44:48 PM
F5: The Finger of God
by Anything But Tangerines
Mar 31st, 2009
12:45:32 PM
Or... TDTVSS
by David Assholehoff
Mar 31st, 2009
12:50:06 PM
Vin-timate 2: The Wrath of Paul
by David Assholehoff
Mar 31st, 2009
12:53:30 PM
the F&F austrailian outback...haha...more here...
by vuebran
Mar 31st, 2009
12:59:21 PM
I have not DISliked any F&F movie yet.
by dr sauch
Mar 31st, 2009
01:10:38 PM
DerLanghaarige
by Grrrr....
Mar 31st, 2009
01:29:32 PM
Whatever happened to SPYHUNTER?
by Rickey Henderson
Mar 31st, 2009
01:40:16 PM
Spyhunter
by David Assholehoff
Mar 31st, 2009
01:48:51 PM
The Rock and Vin
by David Assholehoff
Mar 31st, 2009
01:51:12 PM
Before it gets said by someone else...
by David Assholehoff
Mar 31st, 2009
01:52:40 PM
If you rearrange the letters in "Vin Diesel" ...
by thebearovingian
Mar 31st, 2009
02:36:46 PM
Chuck Norris Facts 2.0?
by David Assholehoff
Mar 31st, 2009
03:06:15 PM
Nobody touches
by Himbo
Mar 31st, 2009
03:34:10 PM
So, was Harry on Pain Meds for his back
by REVENGE_of_FETT
Mar 31st, 2009
04:07:36 PM
wont see it because is not named 4 F4st 4 F4rio4s
by BMacSmith
Mar 31st, 2009
04:11:01 PM
I love questioning authority, I love what newest in stores, albe
by BMacSmith
Mar 31st, 2009
04:21:15 PM
These movies are dumb, but I like em
by MattmanReturns
Mar 31st, 2009
04:22:48 PM
Riddick vs Xenomorphs
by Joker Gordon Levitt
Mar 31st, 2009
04:26:27 PM
Fast and the Furian
by Joker Gordon Levitt
Mar 31st, 2009
04:36:50 PM
Next one: "And Furious"
by Adelai Niska
Mar 31st, 2009
05:12:23 PM
dark horizons
by Philo
Mar 31st, 2009
05:13:21 PM
I didn't read the review
by Crooooooow
Mar 31st, 2009
05:15:17 PM
Tokyo Drift
by Toonol
Mar 31st, 2009
05:15:47 PM
Harry, what kind of back meds are you taking?
by Leafar the Lost
Mar 31st, 2009
05:36:20 PM
FF 5 : FURIOUSLY OLD AND TIRED
by BMacSmith
Mar 31st, 2009
05:42:05 PM
Paul Walker
by Series7
Mar 31st, 2009
05:53:16 PM
Joker Gordon Levitt
by LightninBolt
Mar 31st, 2009
06:03:37 PM
ZOMG
by Mr. Lahey
Mar 31st, 2009
06:54:36 PM
One of Harry's more painful to read reviews
by Mysterious_Volvo
Mar 31st, 2009
07:26:07 PM
Harry's back would give out even if......
by DarfurOnTheRocks
Mar 31st, 2009
07:39:55 PM
Fast, Furious And Loving It.
by scriptgirl_nipples
Mar 31st, 2009
07:41:04 PM
Interested...
by AwkwardAvenue
Mar 31st, 2009
08:25:44 PM
Vin Diesel & Dwayne Johnson in THE ODD COUPLE
by thelordofhell
Mar 31st, 2009
08:31:43 PM
anybody else hate Vin Diesel but like Dwayne Johnson?
by BMacSmith
Mar 31st, 2009
09:17:39 PM
Tokyo Drift was the best of them because...
by OBESE_WAN_KENOBI
Mar 31st, 2009
09:56:02 PM
Not a fan
by Charlie_Allnut
Mar 31st, 2009
10:07:47 PM
TOKYO DRIFT is the WORST MOTHERFUCKING MOVIE
by Vesuvio
Mar 31st, 2009
10:13:16 PM
By the way, #5 will be titled Fast & Furiously
by Vesuvio
Mar 31st, 2009
10:24:23 PM
Love TOKYO DRIFT
by ThusSpakeSpymunk
Mar 31st, 2009
11:33:18 PM
No time for love, Toretto!
by Ye Not Guilty
Apr 1st, 2009
12:06:45 AM
"...of which he was not a part of"
by Rev. Slappy
Apr 1st, 2009
12:20:51 AM
Oh come on
by 420 Boylston St
Apr 1st, 2009
02:00:27 AM
Vesuvio
by Series7
Apr 1st, 2009
02:07:12 AM
Hmm, Harry kinda loves it. Then you gotta be cautious.
by Motoko Kusanagi
Apr 1st, 2009
04:57:11 AM
I'm not a big car fan...
by yodaismyhomie
Apr 1st, 2009
11:47:05 AM
Han is in this? WHAA?
by Arkillo
Apr 1st, 2009
02:26:55 PM
The worst film is the second?
by Oomlot
Apr 1st, 2009
05:07:54 PM
Should have been called The Fast & the FOURious
by Bass Ackwards
Apr 1st, 2009
08:36:18 PM
All of these movies...
by Cujo_Fugate
Apr 2nd, 2009
11:38:18 PM
Chronological order is:
by MamboMan
Apr 3rd, 2009
02:12:34 PM
Justin Lin a great director?
by RobFromBackEast
Apr 3rd, 2009
04:29:34 PM
The next sequel should be called FURIOUSLY FAST
by MrMysteryGuest
Apr 4th, 2009
02:06:54 PM
FAST & FURIOUS - like my sex! :P
by MrMysteryGuest
Apr 4th, 2009
02:07:32 PM
Might've as well just called the movie "White Trash."
by gruemanlives
Apr 4th, 2009
09:53:54 PM
Cujo_Fugate - what is it with you?
by antonphd
Apr 5th, 2009
04:07:16 AM
HEY, FAT BASTARD, WHERE'S THE REVIEW?
by kenichi tanaka
Apr 5th, 2009
06:05:09 AM
I sneaked in to this last night...
by m_reporter
Apr 5th, 2009
10:01:44 AM
"Though I am still hoping for a stand alone TORETTO movie"
by Penetron
Apr 5th, 2009
10:19:04 AM
Vin Diesel can be an asshole again...
by Leafar the Lost
Apr 5th, 2009
05:30:46 PM
i have a dumb switch
by maitlanr
Apr 5th, 2009
09:04:29 PM
m_reporter
by antonphd
Apr 5th, 2009
09:05:27 PM
i flip it on
by maitlanr
Apr 5th, 2009
09:07:42 PM
it's like candy
by maitlanr
Apr 5th, 2009
09:09:19 PM
intellectually, i should be apauled
by maitlanr
Apr 5th, 2009
09:12:47 PM
I Have NO RESPECT For VIN DIESEL
by Red Dawn Don
Apr 6th, 2009
08:25:14 AM
Red Dawn Don, Vin thinks we are really, really dumb.
by Leafar the Lost
Apr 6th, 2009
09:25:07 AM
Harry Reviews, I Snooze.... ZZZZZ....
by GoodTimeBobby
Apr 6th, 2009
10:14:50 PM
Utter shit
by photoboy
Apr 7th, 2009
01:25:48 PM
The definitive guilty pleasure movies
by spud mcspud
Apr 22nd, 2009
06:25:36 AM

Quick Talkback

Please login to post talkback.