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Hipsters, Star Trek, Life, Austin, MARLEY & me...

It started moments ago, just before choosing ‘Futura’ as my font, when I opened WORD only to close a window only to find it was what I had started for this next Tuesday’s DVD column, then a smirk crossed my face. Oh sure, I’d fucked up – but an idea hit me. You see, lately there’s a lot of talk about anti-hipster backlash – and as a geek, I’ve often found myself laughing about the scruff, the blind know-it-all myopic newest bestest prig of society. And I also know how I’m like them. I love questioning authority, I love what newest in stores, albeit slightly aloof in my following of any modern clothing trend other that the ridiculously lost nature I find the person in the mirror wearing. But I also have a 22 year old wife, who narrows her beautifully narrow eyes to constantly remind me of the coolest things about “hipsters” while constantly self-loathing that particular label. But then… I’m a Geek. Headgeek to some, but honestly just someone living a life. My job is to write about film. Years ago I found I couldn’t separate my life from film – or even worst, the knowledge of that, but the basic refusal to strain any passion from any other. After all, I write about everything – some love me, hate me and simply ignore me as a result. When I came home after a dinner at a University / Campus area Greek/Italian restaurant with two of my groomsman and the bubbly new smelly shoe. (More on that later) Anyway – I had business with Roro, had to sign the checks early, as he’s leaving for … Las Vegas on Business later on today, but you know… responsible forward thinking small business kinda things. My other friend was Johnny Wad. We three men are all approaching and Eskimo kissing with middle age, some may argue my senior years have come, but I’m hopeful. Any way we sat and talked about SXSW, a hopeful cool STAR TREK event, random Hipster characters, my wife’s shoes which are made to smell like fresh Urinal cakes – while looking like an odd 1950’s piece of experimental residential architecture. We talk about future tax brackets, my sister’s awesome progress, my nephew’s particular awesomeness, a friend’s pregnancy, a movie shooting in town, crazy single girls, pursuit of girls, the seediest strip club in Austin, various juvenile subjects and reducing down of making fun of the way people around us looked… pot… kettle… black… We laughed and had a good time, I ask about the hipster Star Trek shirts for random Dance Parties in 7 notably Hip cities. Austin isn’t quite yet the spot, pssst… we’re too cool for that. Anyway as we get home, Yoko begins telling me about Mongolian Blue Butt, where a baby is born with temporary Blue Ass Syndrome. I’m just hoping this Asian/Smurf blue butt thing lends its way to a Dr Manhattan swinging dong on the kid. BUT anyway – babies have been on the brain. The talk, the planning, the serious weighing of the times, but friends and acquaintances are all popping Turkey thermometers and we kinda wanna be hipsters, yet that’s a pretty heavy train to randomly board. So – I’m staying up. I’m wired, got a whole helluva lot of things bouncing in my head – and I decide to watch some Adult Swim, CLONE WARS action – smiling that it has really come around – thinking about friends, life, careers – and how cool it is that in these dark days I have the ability to re-acquire past treasures, while also sock away for our future and I laugh at my almost adult flirtation with self-awareness. I look over at a pile of Blu-rays I’ve yet to work through and feeling a bit high from everything – I decide I need to calm down, sober up and try to get worked up about a piece of shit I wouldn’t put Yoko through – and she wouldn’t want to go through… A Fox film, MARLEY & ME. I never reviewed the film – as Fox doesn’t screen me their films in advance of release, because so many of their films are soulless crass geek-insulting bullshit remakes and 2x4 to forehead stupidity. And this early 2009 surprise success was surely going to be a nightmare. The ads and trailers made it feel like syrupy manipulative bullshit crap. I remember when it beat out other films I loved I narrowed my eyes and made a few off-handed bitchy remarks about the film. So I figured I should watch it, give myself some easy punches at a film whose history has long since sailed. At the start of it – some friends begin asking me about a Hipster Star Trek Cult party in Los Angeles – which was apparently thrown with the idea of attracting hipster / new-gen audiences to the awesome timeless hip swinging ways of STAR TREK. To drive this point home – women dressed in cheap stripper silver lamet – covered in Green paint becoming the new whored out Orion Slave Girl… and I smiled. This is the sort of post-modern geek derivative hot young hip persuadable girl programming should be going on and I should think high of it. Because attracting young generations of hot women to Geek things (and hopefully a few of us Geek saps can acquire more than Alex Rogen) is as noble a cause as any to take up. Anyway – that was on the mind and then I watch MARLEY AND ME. I really had just blown this movie off and though I never really went bat shit on it, I feel bad. You see, FOX won’t show me their films early even though I’m in town for their screenings… and out of some inflated sense of self-delusional revenge, I sort of refuse to pay for Fox films… and yet – someone in Fox Home Video still likes me – and sends me MARLEY & ME. THE FUCK, I think. Watching a film like this in advance you build up as some sort of Christ ascent to the cross… but you think of Friedkin and the sacrilegious self-indulgence kinda melts ever so slightly. So I pop the Blu-Ray in… See trailers for NIGHT IN THE MUSEUM 2: THE SMITHSONIAN – which seriously looks like one of the most empty vapid over-priced wastes of all resources materials. I decide to skip past all other trailers and just get the movie started. WHACK – I’m slapped with Marley’s tale and just can’t shake myself from it. Some amazing early de-aging visual effects are used to perfection on Owen and Jennifer – and I hope what I’ve heard about GEMINI MAN is true. And bam – it’s a young married couple striking out into the world. They have their first home, each work, but each establishing their new identity – each playing with being a grown up – and as a reflex move on the femme, the husband surprises her early with a choice of puppies. They get the brat of the litter. But as I was quickly finding, Owen and Jennifer are real characters and Marley – the dog – is a legendary dog, a devil dog, a dog that makes living living. I don’t have that. I have an old broke down Nazi dog – a Pom that some Southern racist probably named after a certain notorious General Rommell. In reality he’s an aging, limping – funny as hell dog. And bam. I had associated with the movie. I found myself drawing parallels with every character. That Owen Wilson’s character was a columnist that put himself, his life and what not into his columns. And technically I have hugged Jennifer Aniston in a Bathrobe. So yeah, I got with this film – this film that was sold as an offensively stupid DOG shit flick. Instead I found a film that was real – an honest story about a Man living as a Man and owning that life thanks in no small part to that dog. As they went through the phase in the story that became about the choice of children – I seriously perked up. That’s the conversation in life I’m having. The Pre-Marital plan had it happening about now. But a whole string of blessed events have all the more underlined “KID” – Owen’s character is about my age at this point in the film – and oddly – it’s the guy that’s kinda ready for the kid – even as the wife realizes that she’ll most likely be the one home with the kid. At the same time crime in the neighborhood makes them want to leave their house, but if a kid comes up, she quits her job – and can they afford things. AND this is that type of movie. The movie that quickly, honestly and realistically handles the steps of mature, solid, honest living. And again I find a part of me that wants to mock that – but at a moment of honest – scuse me I have to let my dog out – ok back. Anyway – where – SELF-REFLECTION, yes, that demon raised its head and told me “Hey buddy – they’re talking about you up there! The older guy ready for child commitment – desire for a kid! Man thing!” Well I watched how the quickly blossoming into 3 kids thing became hard and tough for Owen and Jennifer’s relationship – and the Dog – and as we moved forward on this film – it’s tough, realistic and ultimately hopeful and non-cynical and cool. In a very frank way – the movie made me realize to a point my wife made, let’s wait a little bit. Let’s secure our station a bit before hatching criminals for the cells. I loved the film. It was clever and funny and sharp and poignant and it felt timeless. I really regret not seeing this originally months ago with Patricia at an advance screening. Or any screening period. It just honestly didn’t look like my movie. ANY WAY – after the film, I’m checking my email – self-reflecting upon crappy movie being my perfect life – treasure meet shit – and MARLEY AND ME has even that. Checking Email! Anyway – I’m browsing through and suddenly the lovely publicist from Paramount sends me the Hipster Alternative STAR TREK poster for these “parties” around the globe. Hmmm. I love it, what do you think?



The poster is by Jesse Philips – the artist behind AICN & Fantastic Fest’s IRON MAN and Alamo Drafthouse’s Rolling Roadshow screening of A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS and many others. The general reaction net wide has been amusement and hatred for Paramount attempting to court the “hipster crowd” to the nerdiest of the nerd – Trek. That’s like a Geek loving a fucking Dog movie. As with all things, judgment can be carefully decided over time. Personally I love aggressive, fun and playful marketing. How does it harm me if E-dropping glowy necklace types get off a few hours on the concept of Star Trek. This brings me to STAR TREK. For much of my life I’ve considered myself too cool for STAR TREK. Its easy with all the material I didn’t like since being given a degree of public light – but this STAR TREK has being slowly but surely gotten me to hope a bit. Hope a bit, because of GEEK things, while STAR TREK is the most nerdy… though there’s real trash below – STAR TREK has the covenants of a desired geek ideal for the future. Cool liberal self-aware awesome shit abounding. Teleportation, flying things, full on space exploration and colonization. An existence far beyond the present existence of bitter petty squabbling. Bitching not only about the terrorists, the republicans, the democrats, taxes, inflation, bitching about bitching all the way down little things you and I and all of bitch about that make us feel better – including geeks, jocks, yuppies, hipsters, the homeless – whatever… STAR TREK has us all beat – It takes us past the types, past the bitching – we’re now thinking past all this shit around us to a universe where domestic issues are just not a fucking problem anymore. That’s a lie, of course, the story of Marley & Me is taking place in the 24th Century. Someone is fucking, having pets, kids, life and death happening. It’s not all Klingons and Romulan Death Star Planet rays! I want STAR TREK to cross-over. I want Primary colors – forward thinking, liberal and conservative visions of a benevolent, smart, progressive military, anthropological, political envoy to off galaxy relations. I want that goal for our world. I want the world to work its shit out. Stop squabbling about borders, religions, money and work on advancing society in general. One for all and all for one. Three Musketeer fashion of just getting it done. Stand up, grow up – and yeah, I get there through Star Trek. I like to divide basic thinking into logical, action and emotion. The Spock / Kirk / McCoy rule. I told this to my wife once, 3rd or 4th week into our relationship. She had asked why I like STAR TREK – in her “You weirdo” kinda way. I gave her that answer, that I feel a balanced life follows the Star Trek rule of leadership. Action governed by logic and empathy. Kirk with Spock and McCoy. She laughed and laughed and laughed. I wonder if she’ll laugh at the thought of deep thought brought by the Owen & Jennifer Dog Movie – and like with Star Trek – she’ll find she’ll like it too. Its what I love about film – it doesn’t have to be Geeky or Pop or Studio… Just during SXSW, watching Hal Holbrook’s THAT EVENING SUN.. I found reflection into the decisions about our elderly. I want films to simply give me something to work with, something to reflect and dream with. Do I care if this movie was marketed as crass wide audience appeal now? Not really, it has great messages, great affirmation about the decency of life – at the same time as dealing with Kevorkian style things. Not sure if any of this made any sense to anyone, but sometimes when I write for y’all – I just free associate. And I do it with films. Especially films that surprise me. A good dog movie, shoe shopping in Nordstroms, eating with friends, geeking with Star Trek or writing to Arcade Fire’s Neon Bible album I downloaded after watching that WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE trailer. I hear that makes you think. Looks wonderful, can’t wait to watch and write and think about that one.

Readers Talkback
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  • March 29, 2009, 5:01 a.m. CST

    Hipster backlash.

    by DerLanghaarige

    This would imply that Hipsters were popular at one point, which is just not true.<br> Oh, and nobody can be too cool for Star Trek.

  • March 29, 2009, 5:06 a.m. CST

    You really do like just about everything

    by JuanSanchez

    I bet "discerning" has never been used to describe you.

  • March 29, 2009, 5:08 a.m. CST

    Harry, are you drunk?!?

    by irishraidersfan

    That was a fairly terrible, meandering piece... Your writing usually has a point, but this... Why?

  • March 29, 2009, 5:08 a.m. CST

    Ever thought about diverting the personal shit to a blog?

    by JuanSanchez

    You could ruminate all you want on a blog.

  • March 29, 2009, 5:09 a.m. CST

    Another in an occasional series of articles

    by palimpsest

    where it's apparent that Harry's been at the cough medicine again. More of an observation than a criticism, mind you. It's weird the films that strike a chord - I've avoided the MARLEY AND ME book and I'll never intentionally see the film, though I hope I'm not jaded enough to be closed forever to any charms it may have if I stumble across it on TV one day. As for hipsters, well. Life's too short to pretend to like what someone else likes.

  • March 29, 2009, 5:13 a.m. CST

    What

    by Zappary

    ...the hell did I just attempt to read.

  • March 29, 2009, 5:16 a.m. CST

    seriously?

    by riotinmyskull

    so you deleted your dvd column and this is what we get instead? thanks for wasting the past couple minutes of my life.

  • March 29, 2009, 5:18 a.m. CST

    Marley & Me

    by Lashlarue

    Yeah. I was forced to watch this with the girlfriend, but was surprised to see it was a good film.<p> It always helps having low expectations.

  • March 29, 2009, 5:20 a.m. CST

    Buzzed posting is drunk posting, Harry

    by JuanSanchez

    Next time give yoko your keys.

  • March 29, 2009, 5:23 a.m. CST

    had nothing but water.

    by HEADGEEK

    Did have really good feta earlier tonight. That can make you crazy introspective and entitled feeling.

  • March 29, 2009, 5:32 a.m. CST

    Brawndo has what plants need

    by zillabeast

    It has electrolytes.

  • March 29, 2009, 5:32 a.m. CST

    Is feta the plural of fetus?

    by DerLanghaarige

    HARRY EATS BABYS! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!<p> Yes, I know, that was silly.

  • March 29, 2009, 5:38 a.m. CST

    You should have watched FLUKE in your condition

    by zillabeast

    I might pay to read that review. Just be sure to bring Vern.

  • March 29, 2009, 5:38 a.m. CST

    Excited about the word "hipster" Harry?

    by quamb

    First time Harry has heard of this term?? Bizarre. Mentioned "Hipster" nearly every sentence. Like a middle aged guy in the 60's going on about Hippies as if he's part of it.

  • March 29, 2009, 5:52 a.m. CST

    I have not idea what any of that meant..

    by Praetor

    Seriously that was the most rambling unfocused pointless stream of consciousness I ever skipped through.

  • March 29, 2009, 5:57 a.m. CST

    Wow

    by atruthandalie

    You don't see that kind of drivel posted by an editor on any other commercial web sites. It boggles the mind how you make a living at this.

  • March 29, 2009, 6:19 a.m. CST

    And there goes Harry's train of thought again...

    by ShadowMaker

    derailing and crashing like that train in 'The Fugitive' coming straight at you. And you can't help but wonder if that's what's going to hit you. On a more serious note Harry, you might never know when you're quite ready to have kids. Something always comes up that may say: let's wait a little bit. In the end it's all about a gut feeling, that in the best situation comes donw to: is this man/woman the person I'd like to raise a child with? Because it's a tough job, that two people sign up for, so you'd better make sure that you're on the same page. But if you are...go for it. It's really worth everything those annoying proud parents always make it out to be.

  • March 29, 2009, 6:21 a.m. CST

    Get mental help

    by reflecto

    Please.

  • March 29, 2009, 6:21 a.m. CST

    What's with the problem with "Hipsters"?

    by dastickboy

    There have always been adolescent fads, why is everyone on here so bent out of shape against this one?

  • March 29, 2009, 6:22 a.m. CST

    Come on you bitches

    by C0ns

    Can't a man just fart his mind unto the internet without this backlash?! Much less on his own blog?! Oh the humanity. Really though; you're all stupid. Quit whining.

  • March 29, 2009, 6:24 a.m. CST

    'Nothin' but water'...

    by cameron1975willi

    ...great now stick to that and one day you'll get out of the wheel chair and be able to make love to your wife properly, she deserves it.

  • March 29, 2009, 6:24 a.m. CST

    What next on AICN? Harry's shopping list?

    by CHRISTIAN_BALE_TRASHED_MY_LIGHTS

    Or maybe Harry's thoughts on bottled water. Or perhaps Harry will tell us EXACTLY what he thought about a youtube video he saw in which a man dances up and down like a monkey whilst whistling the original theme tune to Battlestar Gallactica.<p>Wow, this is just what I come to AICN for!

  • March 29, 2009, 6:25 a.m. CST

    "who narrows her beautifully narrow eyes"

    by CHRISTIAN_BALE_TRASHED_MY_LIGHTS

    Hmmmmm

  • March 29, 2009, 6:27 a.m. CST

    CHRISTIAN_BALE_TRASHED_MY_LIGHTS

    by C0ns

    First, shut up asshole. Second, how do you make paragraph breaks like that?

  • March 29, 2009, 6:30 a.m. CST

    I get you Harry.

    by OnusBone

    I understand. I have been having a renewal of my trek love, after long years of denial and it feels like a midlife crisis, almost. And I refuse to not talk about Trek with my other, not-as-geeky friends, some of whom you may call hipsters. And they seem to understand. One friend actually was upset because he liked the trailer, and now feels invested in the movie. Anywho, I get what your saying, big guy. You have too much good sense to let the Talkback get you down, but know that at least one guy out here feels what you're saying.

  • March 29, 2009, 6:30 a.m. CST

    Harry stop waiting!

    by Eyegore

    You are ALREADY financially secure. Unless you are having doubts about the future between you and your wife, you should START NOW. Don't be an asshole. Have kids while you are young, even if it's just young at heart (hint hint) do it!

  • March 29, 2009, 6:38 a.m. CST

    ginger babies?

    by cool_britannia79

    really?

  • March 29, 2009, 6:51 a.m. CST

    by Monkey Butler

    Man, there's a pretty hefty line between stream of consciousness and just flat out incomprehensibility. Harry blindly wandered over that line in about the second sentence. <p> And maybe hipster just means something else in my part of the world, but it seems to me that a hipster isn't really what Harry's describing/railing against/longing to be.

  • March 29, 2009, 7:04 a.m. CST

    Coward

    by K00m0

    Just enjoy it, don't waste everyone's time trying to justify it.

  • March 29, 2009, 7:17 a.m. CST

    this is the stupidest thing

    by dioxholster

    i will never read someone else's epiphany. i got standards

  • March 29, 2009, 7:26 a.m. CST

    C0ns

    by CHRISTIAN_BALE_TRASHED_MY_LIGHTS

    I'd tell you how but it requires you to use more than one finger at a time.<p>Shame. :(

  • March 29, 2009, 7:28 a.m. CST

    Cute

    by one_guy_from_andromeda

    Sweet "article". I like it that this place is after all still just some weirdo's place to write shit vaguely about movies that come to his mind. I mean that as a serious compliment. Fuck corporate professionalism. Oh and yeah - make baby already. Doesn't pay off to wait, you need at least 4...

  • March 29, 2009, 7:36 a.m. CST

    If you don't know Harry by now...

    by UltimaRex

    ...you will never, never, never know him... And dioxholster, you got standards? Really?

  • March 29, 2009, 7:36 a.m. CST

    Step back from the mushrooms!

    by Kentucky Colonel

    Wow Harry...that was a hell of a trip you must have been on! <p> I love Star Trek more than your average geek, and I'm a sucker for dog movies (even though I skipped M&M) but PUT DOWN THE BONG, son. <p> Kids are great, by the way. But let Patricia live a little first. The deal I had with my wife was "you get a kid before you're thirty". Miles was born 10 months before she turned thirty. Have some fun, then populate the Folsoms of the world with your seed.

  • March 29, 2009, 7:38 a.m. CST

    YOU CANNOT KILL A KID IN A SUPERMAN MOVIE!

    by UltimaRex

    Had to be done.

  • March 29, 2009, 7:51 a.m. CST

    Sorry, couldn't make it past the first couple of paragraphs.

    by rbatty024

    Does it have a point and should I waste my time reading it?

  • March 29, 2009, 8:17 a.m. CST

    Wait, what?

    by GregoryHarbin

    I'm confused. My personal blog makes more sense and is less 'tl,dr' and 'e/n' than that supposed 'news' post.

  • March 29, 2009, 8:19 a.m. CST

    You're too cool for Star Trek?

    by thecomedian

    Keep telling yourself that, Knowles. "I'm a loner, dottie. I'm a rebel."

  • March 29, 2009, 8:25 a.m. CST

    The "anti-Marley & Me"

    by Elston Gunn

    Yes, this is shameless, but here is a short dogumentary we made for no money you should check out. A lot of dog & life truths in it though: http://www.vimeo.com/2541245

  • March 29, 2009, 8:27 a.m. CST

    neon bible?

    by captainbritain

    wake up (by the arcade fire) is from funeral, not neon bible. in fact neon bible is a pretty different sound altogether when put alongside funeral.

  • March 29, 2009, 8:51 a.m. CST

    What Exactly Was The Point Of This Article?

    by LaserPants

    That its okay to like Marley and Me? That hipsters and geeks are pretty much the same and they're both particularly douche-y? What?

  • March 29, 2009, 9:01 a.m. CST

    Harold, ummm-

    by Sal_Bando

    --I like your point here-Marley and Me was not a 'cool movie' but it was much better than you thought it would be-nice you gave it a chance-but really, seriously, I couldn't quite follow WHAT the hell you were talking about up there.<p> Edit yourself more sirrah, okay? We all have these Middle of the Road kicks we listen to or watch---I like Bobby Darin stuff, a brother of mine still gets into Star Trek though he's about as anti-Harold and Drew as you'll ever find, and of course we all know that Jarv-Jarv is a raging Monkees fan. The point is we all don't just fit into some stereotypical rut as nerdherd fandom members despite ourselves. <p> I never saw the draw of Anime but have friends who swear by it. More power to them. I'm a huge baseball nerd. Can't get into Sabrementrics to save my life-it's statborg circlejerking frankly-but hey if it's something the Baseball Prospectus types live for, again-more power to them. Tell us gain how Jimmy Wynn should be in the Hall and how bad you think Jim Rice Sucked guys. Sure. <p> Anyways. Marley and Me prob. could have used a few more Giant Robots-but beyond that, not bad, and Trek, well it looks promising. We'll see.

  • March 29, 2009, 9:07 a.m. CST

    MARLEY & ME takes place in the 24th century?

    by JackIsLost

    And you still claim you weren't drunk when you wrote this???

  • March 29, 2009, 9:08 a.m. CST

    I refuse to watch Marley and Me

    by DDMAN26

    After reading the last 100 pages of the book I was sobbing. And I never cry. But I had to put my dog down shortly after that so maybe that's why it affected me. I don't want to go through that again.

  • March 29, 2009, 9:15 a.m. CST

    Harry-hope you weren't looking for that song on NEON BIBLE

    by Six Demon Bag

    cause its on Funeral

  • March 29, 2009, 9:22 a.m. CST

    Where are the tributes to the countless kickass films of 1984???

    by Six Demon Bag

    Fuck Marley and Me, We Got LAST STARFIGHTER, CLOAK & DAGGER, RED DAWN, CHUD, GHOSTBUSTERS, BUCKAROON BANZAI, GREMLINS, TEMPLE, etc etc

  • March 29, 2009, 9:29 a.m. CST

    I liked you commentary Harry

    by Cymbol

    I really did. Just don't do it too often. :)

  • March 29, 2009, 9:30 a.m. CST

    you = your

    by Cymbol

    Please get an edit function Harry. . .

  • March 29, 2009, 9:32 a.m. CST

    Advertising for the Marley and Me DVD

    by TheBloop

    Saw a commercial for it yesterday and it baffled me. Where they talking about the same movie? They made it look like Beethoven or some comedy aimed at 8 year olds. Most kids that age wold be bored to death watching this movie. But as someone in the late 30's who has been married 9 years, got a dog after one year of marriage because he we wasn't ready for kids, etc. a lot of hit home. I give the film credit for showing the real stresses of having kids and how sometimes you can't help but wonder if they are holding your career back. Plus I never heard a theater crying so much as I did the last 20 minutes of this film. Its like the film hit a nerve point like a ninja. Showing something a lot of people have gone thru, but has never been shown on film. Taking your beloved dog to the vet to be put down and sitting with him while it happens.

  • March 29, 2009, 9:32 a.m. CST

    after reading this

    by Mr_X

    i ask the question to myself, what the fuck am i doing here really?

  • March 29, 2009, 9:34 a.m. CST

    What the fuck is that opening sentence?

    by D.Vader

    How has Harry's grammar and diction gotten WORSE over the years?

  • March 29, 2009, 9:38 a.m. CST

    Harry, I disagreed with about 90% of what you wrote

    by YackBacker

    It's nothing personal, just some honest disagreements with your assessment of STAR TREK fandom, the actual elements of the original show, etc. I think a lot of people see STAR TREK based on what they individually bring to the table. If we ever have the chance to split a pitcher of beer, I'd really love to have this debate.

  • March 29, 2009, 9:42 a.m. CST

    Jackoffs, Phantom Menace, NY, Beethoven...

    by VaderSabre

    It started moments ago, just before I took a shit when an idea hit me. You see, I'm a nerd. Years ago, I realized I couldn't separate reality from celluloid. I was psyched for the new Star Wars movie, but somehow digressed and started watching Charles Grodin and realized Holy Shit! Life imitates art!! ANYWAY, this brings me to Star Wars. I want it to cross over, like a canine comedy. But I also think oranges should have constitutional rights and that penguins should be emancipated from the shackles that we've bound them with. I wonder if Anakin will slay Jar Jar with a lightsabre or if a dog movie can make a child believe in the force. Not sure if my stream-of-consciousness made sense, but hey, this is my friggin' blog space. I'm looking forward to AVATAR. I hear it'll fuck my eyeballs outta my skull. Can't wait to pontificate on that shit.

  • March 29, 2009, 9:44 a.m. CST

    Shit, when I have to reread every other sentence 4 times...

    by D.Vader

    And I still don't quite understand what Harry's trying to say... That means its time for you to step up Harry. Its time for you to start caring about your website a little bit more. Its time for you to take some pride in what you write and for God's sake, make it palpable. I want to hear what you have to say, but after trudging through your horrid opening paragraphs, I just want to close my computer up and quit. <p> This is an honest criticism from a very long-time fan of this site: Your writing is terrible. Do better, Harry.

  • March 29, 2009, 9:48 a.m. CST

    I'm convinced Harry was drunk when he wrote this

    by D.Vader

    There is no other explanation for why this is some of the worst writing I've ever seen. Unless he's just given up and doesn't care about his site or its fans anymore. This is lazy, incomprehensible shit.

  • March 29, 2009, 9:49 a.m. CST

    What the hell was this about

    by Nobody_Touches_Buddy_Revell

    its like grandpa just saw the "computer" machine and just decided to sit down and start typing. Jesus, this site has become like Ken Burns Civil War letters.

  • March 29, 2009, 9:51 a.m. CST

    You choose Bold Futura..that says it all right there

    by Nobody_Touches_Buddy_Revell

    See how cool of a hipster I am..I'm still trying to figure out what the fuck you're talking about

  • March 29, 2009, 9:55 a.m. CST

    Fuck what a bunch of self serving mindless dribble

    by quantize

    i couldnt read it all, it was navel gazing bullshit gibberish... come now Harry, we know you HAVE to like this Star Trek because your buddy JJ greased the AICN knob.

  • March 29, 2009, 10 a.m. CST

    Death to hipsters

    by nostairway

    Glad the anti-hipster backlash is in full swing. Nothing worse than Pabst Blue Ribbon-swilling vintage t-shirt-wearing greasy beard-growing anorexic douchebags who are obsessed with whatever disposable indie rock band is popular that week on Pitchfork. Harry if you ever need to get rid of hipsters in yout vacinity just try playing any Black Sabbath album (Vol. 4 works best) really loudly. The combination of guitar solos and lack or irony kills hipsters DEAD.

  • March 29, 2009, 10:04 a.m. CST

    Wait so Marley & Me was the crappy movie=your perfect life?

    by D.Vader

    That doesn't make a damn lick of sense after you just praised it and said you loved it. So confused.

  • March 29, 2009, 10:14 a.m. CST

    I also hope Harry isn't listening to Neon Bible...

    by D.Vader

    Hoping to hear the song from the Where the Wild Things are trailer. That means he just skimmed the talkback for the trailer and read post titles- since many incorrectly attributed the song "Wake Up" to that album instead of to "Funerals". It'd be evidence he just doesn't pay attention.

  • March 29, 2009, 10:17 a.m. CST

    Throw A Rock In Any Direction And You'll Hit A Hipster

    by LaserPants

    There was a time when indie / alt / punk / artsy types actually were a marginalized, underground culture. Now EVERYTHING is mainstream. The only thing that separates your average Hipster from your average Jock is the former dress ironically and the latter dress the way their parents told them too.

  • March 29, 2009, 10:17 a.m. CST

    That was Fairly Nonsensical Throughout

    by Crow3711

    Maybe I was just reading too fast or something, but it seemed to me that every other sentence in that post followed no traditional narrative logic and contained mostly sentence fragments relating to subjects I wasn't aware were being discussed. That was so confusing, Harry. Star Trek, Owen, Shirts, Hipsters, Aniston, Fox Bias, dogs, email, and shit. WTF?

  • March 29, 2009, 10:17 a.m. CST

    Actually, That was just an excercise

    by Crow3711

    In Free Association. I get it now.

  • March 29, 2009, 10:24 a.m. CST

    It was bullshit is what it was

    by D.Vader

    Let's just all speak frankly here.

  • March 29, 2009, 10:24 a.m. CST

    what the fuck is this incomprehensible shit?

    by Cedar_Room

    come on Harry even by your standards that was piss poor.

  • March 29, 2009, 10:29 a.m. CST

    what in gods fuckin balls was this about?

    by Kenny_Fuckin_Powers

    harry dude is there anything in here that isn't about marketing something from a large entertainment corporation? and after reading that, i have no idea or sense or clue what you mean about hipsters other than paramount should be allowed to grassroots market to them. i feel like i just found out that Jeremy Piven is going to play Voltron.

  • March 29, 2009, 10:33 a.m. CST

    where's an impassioned reminder

    by Kenny_Fuckin_Powers

    to tell audiences to see Coraline in 3d before it's gone from theaters, to watch Let The Right One In on DVD at least, your thoughts on the end of Battlestar and the future of scifi tv.. etc... instead we get an ad for marley and me (literally next to this article) and an impassioned plea to be ok with paramount's marketing techniques.

  • March 29, 2009, 10:34 a.m. CST

    DON'T watch "Let the Right One In" on DVD, Kenny Powers

    by D.Vader

    They royally fucked up the subtitles on the DVD. They're completely different from the theatrical edition and have been overly-simplified. Wait a bit- the company says they are addressing the issues.

  • March 29, 2009, 10:34 a.m. CST

    In the words of Lloyd Bridges

    by Golitsyn1

    I didn't understand a word of that. Not one fucking word!

  • March 29, 2009, 10:36 a.m. CST

    it's ok D Vader

    by Kenny_Fuckin_Powers

    Im kenny fuckin powers, i don't reduce myself to subtitles, i'll be watching that with a dolby digital 5.1 english dub, cause i speak american.

  • March 29, 2009, 10:37 a.m. CST

    Hi-Larious

    by D.Vader

    Are you really Danny McBride or Ben Best? Shit's hilarious.

  • March 29, 2009, 10:43 a.m. CST

    I don't know who you're talkin bout but

    by Kenny_Fuckin_Powers

    Sam's Club have this killer 12.1 surround system for three hundred large, you point the speakers at the ground and it makes your balls tingle during action scenes.

  • March 29, 2009, 10:44 a.m. CST

    harry please please please start a podcast

    by chiahead

    Or even a vodcast. Reading your stream of consciousness writing though... oh man I can't do it anymore. I'm sure I'd love it if I was hearing it- but poor grammar notwithstanding I couldn't keep up with your idea shifts and still dunno wtf you're talking about. Marley n Me. Great flick. Star Trek, assholes will soon like it cuz the Alias guy rebooted it. The world goes round.

  • March 29, 2009, 10:46 a.m. CST

    Does Harry 22 year old wife know about Script-Girl?

    by Leafar the Lost

    Allow me to quote Harry, "Mmm... Pony Tails... Script Girl is back with this week's report! Hey folks, Harry here with your very own fave, Script Girl - She's looking especially cute this week - and has some good stuff to tell us about!" Every week Harry brings us a report from Script-Girl, and the only possible reason has to be his intense attraction to her. I am also attracted to her, but I can see that her reports about script sales is like reading want adds from the newspaper. Having big tits and being able to read shouldn't get you a weekly feature on AICN, unless there is another reason for it. If Harry's wife has no problem with his obvious attraction to Script-Girl, then there is no problem. Maybe Harry has found one of those rare women who realize that men have a biological need to have sex with as many women as possible, and being married should not prevent men from fulfilling this need. However, most women are not that wise. It's Harry's site, so he can put whatever the fuck he wants on it. I just want some clarification on why he keeps putting Script-Girl on.

  • March 29, 2009, 10:48 a.m. CST

    That was fucking terrible

    by Mr. Zeddemore

  • March 29, 2009, 10:51 a.m. CST

    HARRY I wrote something similar to this...

    by thewizardofoz

    ...In the boards back when the film came out. No one could believe that "Marley and Me" reminded me more of "Giant" than it did "Beethoven." I was totally unprepared for how dark and introspective it was. I don't think I'll ever watch it again (way too relentlessly sad for me) but I so appreciated the effort.

  • March 29, 2009, 10:51 a.m. CST

    LEARN TO WRITE

    by whitty

    Seriously, Harry, what the hell? You are one PISS-POOR writer.

  • March 29, 2009, 10:52 a.m. CST

    Harold-editing is NOT a crime.

    by Sal_Bando

    Seriously-you should self-edit AND you should put in an edit function for us here, too. Just a word to da wise, seems to me. <p> I am glad to see I wasn't the only one TOTALLY confused by what you were saying up there. <p> So when are you gonna give us the straight poop on what happened to both John Carter of Mars and/or Ghost Town?

  • March 29, 2009, 10:54 a.m. CST

    I feel like I just took a "Fantastic Voyage" thru Harry's brain.

    by The Reluctant Austinite

    That was an interesting stream of consciousness piece, but I think if you psychoanalyze it in its entirity and cut through the thoughts on Star Trek, hipsters and Paramount no-screenings resentment, what you seem to find is a man publically sharing his inner struggle with the idea of procreation. Is it or is it not time to bring a child into this world? I think it's certainly on Harry's and Yoko's mind. Harry is pushing middle age (he's catching up with me and my world post hast!) and Yoko is just reaching the legal drinking age. She's still a hipster. I love them both and wish them the best, and if I were Criswell I might predict a baby geek in their near future. This, I think, will please his audience and frustrate them in equal measures. I've seen this happen with many of my best friends: Children Change Everything. You think they won't. You think you'll love the same things you've always loved and hate the same things you've always hated, but you won't. Putting the life of another before yourself fundamentally changes everything about yourself. Suddenly everything you see before your eyes (and this defineatly includes movies!) is reflected and refracted through your child's eyes and your new eyes as a parent. You'll never be the same again. I think a lot of us will miss the writing of the unburdened and single Harry the film fan, and some will bemoan the new Harry who will almost certainly put his child in everything he writes (either literally or subconsciously). But for those of us that have followed this website for more than 10 years, it's an interesting time, and I for one hope to read more inner thought pieces like this one in the months and years to come. You go, guy!

  • March 29, 2009, 10:56 a.m. CST

    "hatching criminals for the cells"

    by Larry Sellers

    Nice

  • March 29, 2009, 10:59 a.m. CST

    Hey..MY dog is named Rommel

    by conspiracy

    A beautiful 115# Shepherd. My wife, who is Filipina, wanted to name him Hitler, but realizing that wouldn't fly with the local members of the Thought Police, I choose to name him after one of the greatest tactical minds in military history. We are not racists Harry...rather history buffs...and By the way..NOBODY who voted for either Obama or McCain can make a claim to being Anti-Establishment...For fucks sake THEY ARE the Establishment you fool!

  • March 29, 2009, 11 a.m. CST

    Hey..MY dog is named Rommel

    by conspiracy

    A beautiful 115# Shepherd. My wife, who is Filipina, wanted to name him Hitler, but realizing that wouldn't fly with the local members of the Thought Police, I choose to name him after one of the greatest tactical minds in military history. We are not racists Harry...rather history buffs...and By the way..NOBODY who voted for either Obama or McCain can make a claim to being Anti-Establishment...For fucks sake THEY ARE the Establishment you fool!

  • March 29, 2009, 11:01 a.m. CST

    In otherwords, you're 40 and realizing it...

    by genro

    You felt closer to a Rom-Com from a company you hate because it has more connection to you than the uber-geek Trek, which is now being sold to people other than you. Harry has finally realized he is no longer apart of the target audience.

  • March 29, 2009, 11:02 a.m. CST

    This is actually a post-Watchmen rant....

    by genro

    This site has been dying for Watchmen since it came online. Now it's come and gone at the same time Harry turns 40.

  • March 29, 2009, 11:17 a.m. CST

    Will somebody please tell me...

    by Raindog789

    .....what in the holy name of stinkydick this post was all about??? First AICN reviewed movies, then it just pimped movies, now we have this??? Fuck my ass with a flaming tire iron

  • March 29, 2009, 11:20 a.m. CST

    Did Harry have a stroke?

    by Xiphos_2

    You might want to get to the hospital. TPA therapy is still indicated within a twelve hour window of the event. The recovery potential with that medicine is excellent.

  • March 29, 2009, 11:21 a.m. CST

    I feel lost.

    by mrfan

  • March 29, 2009, 11:22 a.m. CST

    There's no way you weren't drunk

    by wash

    I have a slight hangover now and I had to stop reading that. Most of the time you have a point Harry but I'm really not sure what was going on there.

  • March 29, 2009, 11:25 a.m. CST

    This Sounds Like

    by SnakesOnABicycle

    Harry's wife doesn't wanna have a kid with him and he's making some halfassed attempt to share his feelings without sounding like an asshole. And big surprise she wouldn't... what with being half your age, not disabled, young and in the prime of her life, staying home with you and going through your stacks of unopened blu-rays and studio ass kiss pwesents might make her think she doesn't need a child when she's already taking care of one (You). And you're writing fucking sucks now. It's one thing to write about whatever you want, everyone should have the right, but its another thing when you dont put any fucking effort into it.

  • March 29, 2009, 11:27 a.m. CST

    It's your site Harry, I respect that but.... WTF!!!!

    by Gabba-UK

    I've never seen a clearer case of middle aged crisis in all my life!!! And I've nurtured mine for the last 10 years....

  • March 29, 2009, 11:31 a.m. CST

    Dude, what the holy fuck was that?

    by axel fff

    WAR AND PEACE as written by a man-child with a 3rd-grader's writing ability?

  • March 29, 2009, 11:34 a.m. CST

    Fox don't screen me their shit in advance either

    by dick splash

    I feel your pain, I really do.

  • March 29, 2009, 11:43 a.m. CST

    Here ya go. Do us all a favor...

    by Emperor_was_a_jerk

    http://www.nowplayingaustin.com/org/detail/220062165

  • March 29, 2009, 11:45 a.m. CST

    Very 60's looking

    by Orionsangels

  • March 29, 2009, 11:45 a.m. CST

    And with that, Harry lost & alienated his target audience

    by D.Vader

  • March 29, 2009, 11:45 a.m. CST

    ???

    by xile1c

    Beside "ramble" in the dictionary next year will be the link to this page.

  • March 29, 2009, 11:46 a.m. CST

    The Big Man-Ape = SOLD OUT??!!

    by Gus Van Rant

    C'mon Harry you are better than this...I mean, Marley & Me? The old Harry would have opted for "Chocolate Covered Pussy Juice" and "2 fat kids chest bumping" over this shit. How much Harry? How much did it cost to sell your soul? We lost another one kids...First Moriarty and now Knowles...Jihad is upon the geek community.

  • March 29, 2009, 11:47 a.m. CST

    Jesus...

    by judge dredds fresh undies

    Just, Jesus...

  • March 29, 2009, 11:50 a.m. CST

    You're never ready to mhave kids

    by Ye Not Guilty

    What will happen is you will live your life, and in another year you will be older, but no more ready to have children. Are you taking parenting classes? Are you picking out the crib and nursery stuff? If not, then saying "we're not ready yet" is just another way of saying "I don't want kids."

  • March 29, 2009, 11:54 a.m. CST

    ENOUGH!!!

    by themasterofnonsense

    when are you going to JUST DIE? Diabetes do your work!

  • March 29, 2009, 11:55 a.m. CST

    An amazing piece of writing

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    I am seriously blown away

  • March 29, 2009, 12:01 p.m. CST

    Here ya go. Do us all a favor... FIXED

    by Emperor_was_a_jerk

    http://tinyurl.com/cb5bz5

  • March 29, 2009, 12:10 p.m. CST

    This whole "HIPSTER" term is fucking retarded.

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    Almost as bad the moment you douchebags learned the word "EMO" and started using it for any music thats not Coldplay. <P>Fuck this boring shit.

  • March 29, 2009, 12:18 p.m. CST

    Couldn't finish this article...

    by The Eskimo

    ...very poorly written...but the talkback has been pretty brutal on the personal side. Why do you subject yourself to this Harry?

  • March 29, 2009, 12:20 p.m. CST

    And what the fuck is a hipster anyway?

    by The Eskimo

    I'm 30...is that too old to sign up?

  • March 29, 2009, 12:22 p.m. CST

    Wow....

    by Adelai Niska

    Harry, you need to go get yourself checked out. I think you had a stroke with your hands on the keyboard. And nobody likes hipsters.

  • March 29, 2009, 12:26 p.m. CST

    Vadersabre and genro

    by Adelai Niska

    checkmate. Well done.

  • March 29, 2009, 12:27 p.m. CST

    Harry, about hipsters,

    by PoorOLtinTin

    I don't think I'M exactly clear on what defines a hipster, outside of each person's own labeling system. Around here, the hipsters are the guys and gals

  • March 29, 2009, 12:33 p.m. CST

    continued

    by PoorOLtinTin

    are the guys and gals who hang out at the brewpubs doing that whole greaser/bikerwannabe/classic car thing, listening to a lot of Hank W. the 3rd and tom waits, and bieng smug, I guess I always thought of the E droppers as more fratboys or, like myself, people who like drugs. I think that an intrest in sci-fi and perhaps even star-trek is an individual thing that probably stems from childhood experience and exposure, not so much who we are today. So, I guess, what do you consider to be a hipster, and why do you think the marketing you point out here, like the poster, is aimed at this group?

  • March 29, 2009, 12:33 p.m. CST

    Don't like it? Don't read it.

    by MCVamp

    Harry, you're a weird, weird dude at times. You're also very normal. Please continue posting whatever you want, it's your site. It's like the car salesman from NURSE BETTY said: "You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain." If you'd have fallen down the steps of Pai Mei's back in 01', you'd be fondly remembered as an internet pioneer and "the geek who beat the studios." But by now, the studios have adjusted, the AICN staff had to enter adulthood-- and there are a ton of irritable, jaded little chumps out there who like to voice dissatisfaction with FREE CONTENT and who somehow think a public internet site is "fail" if it doesn't cater to their individual whims. Hey dipshits: go Tweet your bowel movements if you think you can be more entertaining. ... But to be honest, you did ramble a bit there, big red. Sure you weren't suckin' back some o' Grampa's cough medicine?

  • March 29, 2009, 12:34 p.m. CST

    My favorite hipster story:

    by themasterofnonsense

    Watching some hipster peace of shit get beaten nearly to death by 3 skinheads in front of the Glasshouse in Pomona CA.

  • March 29, 2009, 12:36 p.m. CST

    McVamp pay attention

    by D.Vader

    People are criticizing Harry for being a horrible writer, not for his "free content".

  • March 29, 2009, 12:38 p.m. CST

    According to AICN a "HIPSTER" is anyone thats not a hideous fat

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

  • March 29, 2009, 12:38 p.m. CST

    a hideous fat ass.

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

  • March 29, 2009, 12:39 p.m. CST

    definition of hipsters...

    by nostairway

    See my above description, also... are white, usually from wealthy families, who move to the city while in or after college and take low paying "artsy" jobs while getting money from their parents to live on. Most are vegans or vegetarians because its trendy to be so and helps them achive that anorexic skinny look. They wear tigh fitting shirts and jeans (even the dudes) whether they have the body for it or not. Almost all wear black Clark Kent glasses because it makes them look "intellectual." Most of them shun corporate chains like Dunkin Donuts or Sears because they want to stick it to "the man".. i.e. people like their parents that pay for their lazy pretentious lifestyle. Oh and they're facinated with crappy old bikes and cupcakes.

  • March 29, 2009, 12:40 p.m. CST

    D. Vader--you've read other TB's...

    by MCVamp

    The criticism is all there. "Where's the cool news?" "Where's the set reports?" "What happened to the site?" "The newer staffers aren't as good as the old staffers." "Harry sold out!" This is just another extension of that.

  • March 29, 2009, 12:44 p.m. CST

    Point: Harry's never been a "writer."

    by MCVamp

    Ever, ever, ever. He writes off the cuff with nothing but Spellcheck for an editor (sometimes not even that.) Seriously. If the article had perfect grammar, made perfect sense, and made a clearly logical and relevant point to even the most obtuse reader...THAT'S when you know Harry's writing on 'shrooms. Rambling stream-of-consciousness is Harry's "Zone." Complaining about rambling in Harry's prose is like complaining that salt is too salty.

  • March 29, 2009, 12:45 p.m. CST

    Nostairway, do you know the hipsters in Louisville?

    by The Reluctant Austinite

    LOL. You pretty much nailed it. It's like you can see the Louisville hipster scene from your computer!

  • March 29, 2009, 12:50 p.m. CST

    There is a book you need to read...

    by EverythingEverywhereStinks

    It's called the Modern Language Association Handbook. You may have stuffed one of these under your moldy underwear and left over food wrappers in your locker in high school. It's filled with a wide variety of language rules and guidelines to help you write the best piece of Star Trek viral marketing you possibly can. If you do ever decide to get one and use it, you'll find that you'll be better at organizing your thoughts, your paragraphs, and your sentences into something that is in real language, as opposed to the machine readable nonsense you just posted. I am looking forward to your next piece of whoring for JJ and Star Trek with new and improved readability courtesy of the MLA Handbook. But get cracking! May 8th is rapidly approaching and there's more virals to get out there for JJ!

  • March 29, 2009, 12:50 p.m. CST

    Stay on topic Red 5, I mean, MCVamp

    by D.Vader

    We're talking about this particular TB, but if you want to turn this into a grander comment about the site, because I AM one of those who complains every now and then about the steady decline and death of this once great site. <p> This story is a reflection of how bad this site has decayed, and its Harry's horrible, horrible writing that contributes to it in this case. Its almost embarrassing to say AICN is one of my favorite websites or that I've been coming here as long as I have when Harry pulls this kind of shit. I don't mind the story or its ideas. What I mind is the disrespect he shows his readers when he can't be bothered to edit his writings and uses grammar and disconnected sentences that elementary schoolers avoid. <p> And complain about the complainers all you want- they DO have a right to bitch about this site's content. Harry may have made it, but its the readership that makes it a success. <p>Think of it as a small business- the proprietor can put his heart and soul into it in the early days and attracts a lot of like-minded individuals who dig what he's saying and selling. Then as the years go on, the proprietor gets slack and stops paying attention to what his customers want. In fact, he start to develop a "screw them" attitude towards those who supported him in the early years, and then his behavior becomes embarrassing for all who had any connection to him and his business. <p> Granted, we get this stuff for free, but its the same principle. If you start ignoring your target audience and you start pissing them off, they're going to complain and they've got every right to do so. <p> I don't know if Harry has sold out or what, but its obvious this site has had a SEVERE drop in quality. Part of that is due to the studios and the evolution of internet media reporting, but a big chunk of that also has to do with Harry and his ambivalent attitude toward us and his site. Its sad. Its really, really sad. <p> And when he writes something like this that can hardly be qualified as a coherent thought, he embarrasses himself, he embarrasses his website, and he embarrasses us.

  • March 29, 2009, 12:51 p.m. CST

    myself too cool for STAR TREK

    by Series7

    I find that hard to believe. And as for a geek liking a dog movie....really? Who the fuck doesn't like dog movies? That just means you have no soul. Fuck even I saw Bingo in theaters.

  • March 29, 2009, 12:51 p.m. CST

    "This is just another extension of that."

    by D.Vader

    It wouldn't be if Harry would fucking write like he used to. This was complete and utter shit from beginning to end. The anger directed toward this "story" is proof enough that people are getting sick of it.

  • March 29, 2009, 12:52 p.m. CST

    Wait a second...

    by Dreamseller

    what??

  • March 29, 2009, 12:54 p.m. CST

    hipsters

    by Series7

    I think King of the Hill put the final nail in the coffin the other week when they made fun of hipster moms just pretty much being lame and crazy. Showing that Peggy was better then them.

  • March 29, 2009, 1:01 p.m. CST

    well, reluctant...

    by nostairway

    The reason I can sit in NY and describe hipsters down there is that they are absolutely the same everywhere. That's why they are so lame. Their efforts to be rebellious and stand out are in inherently an act of unintentional conformity. Glad I made your day though!

  • March 29, 2009, 1:05 p.m. CST

    Harry you just need to

    by Series7

    Shush girl, shut your lips. Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips.

  • March 29, 2009, 1:10 p.m. CST

    ...

    by Geekgasm

    that was ... whew ... I think "incomprehensible" is too kind, because (a) there were times I literally couldn't follow Harry because of the grammar and sentence structure, and (b) the rest of the time I couldn't follow the point he wasn't making. As for hipsters and "Star Trek", this new Star Trek movie is like the ugly, fat, nerdy girl in jr. high who has a growth spurt over the summer and starts high school as a pretty freshman. She's so eager to be one of the cool girls that she starts ignoring her old nerdy friends in an attempt to be accepted by the cool kids - but she quickly learns that the cool kids don't care about her the first time she mentions Dr. Who and Harry Potter. No one can fight agaist their nature, and Star Trek will never be hip or cool or mainstream. Its like water trying not to be wet. It is what it is, regardless of how much J.J. Abrams tries to put it in skinny jeans, Che t-shirts, and black framed glasses.

  • March 29, 2009, 1:13 p.m. CST

    "anti-hipster" vs. "anti-Christian" and "anti-conservative"

    by jorson28

    It's all par for the course. There's a reason to "dislike" (if not hate) just about every type of person if you're willing to categorize. Sure, they've been around forever, but it was a lot of these "hipsters" that tried their best to make some dangerous drugs look "cool" and "mind expanding" in the 60's and 70's - they're still dying of overdoses, accidental and intentional, on a semi-regular basis, it seems. Drug problems may affect all sorts of people, even conservatives (i.e., Rush Limbaugh), but at least the conservatives never flaunted or acted proud of it, right? Organized religion, particularly Christianity, has been someone's target for centuries - U.S. government makes a mistake, blame it on right-wing Christian influence. It's all hypocritical - for eight years, liberals bashed Bush for his increasing the national debt and allegedly driving the economy into the tank - of course, that honor really went to the private sector that doesn't know how to act responsibly, but I diegress. Now, with Obama in office expected to raise the national debt much, much higher, where is the same criticism? At least, where is it with the vehemence it had before? Then there's the FALSE generalization of the Southeast (not just the South - Austin, Tx is "South") as racist, this in spite of having probably the largest population of African Americans in the country. If you assume that the only reason so many are still here is because they can't afford to move, I'd say that's about as racist as one can get because you assume blacks can't make enough money to even move out of a supposedly hostile part of the country. Of course, there are racists in the South - most never actually act on it and the ones that do are, at least nowadays, overtly condemned. Then again, an alleged absence of racism in, say, the Midwest, might have something to do with... what? Or is that even true - ever heard of the copperheads? Southern sympathizers in the North during the Civil War - long time ago, for sure, but still... Anyway, it's par for the course, and I've always maintained that it's just as WATCHMEN hints at the end of its story - if tomorrow the world was peaceful and all its problems were solved, we'd be so bored we'd look for new problems to give us something to do, obstacles to overcome and overall just ways and reasons to feel productive and good about ourselves again. That, plus the politicians would be screwed - on both sides.

  • March 29, 2009, 1:24 p.m. CST

    Are you on mescaline?

    by Quin the Eskimo

    are you tasting blue and breathing in science? Are you convinced that if you think hard enough you could grow a third arm?

  • March 29, 2009, 1:29 p.m. CST

    Oh, yeah... "forward thinking" military???

    by jorson28

    Stop me if you've heard this, but my interpretation of a liberal military is one that sees a violent terrorist attack and responds with... talk. Does anyone stop to consider whether or not the people doing the terrorizing even care what we have to say? If not, how is that "forward thinking." I love TREK, but it's fiction - all the way around. Even the liberals wouldn't want to live in that world - they'd have nothing to protest, nothing make them look like martyrs for some cause against oppression! In any case, what is "forward thinking" and "why?" If you want to reduce the term down to responding to violence with words, then that's ridiculous - what for people that can't talk? Nobody is handicapped in this future? What did you do - euthenize them? I thought that was for neocons and Nazis. Oh, yeah - we let our representatives talk for us. Still doesn't mean the enemy cares to hear it. Take today, for example - no matter what the party, U.S. representatives like to reduce our problems in the Middle East to disputes over oil, territory and regrettable U.S. foreign policy. That's why everyone believes that now that Obama is in office, everything is going to get better - never mind that Bin Laden spent the entire eight year term of Bill Clinton to plan the 9/11 attacks that happened mere months after Bush took office. Of course, unless you think he's lying and is just saying what greedy, corrupt U.S. officials want him to say because they're behind it all in a bid to grab and keep power ala Emperor Palpatine in STAR WARS - you're welcome to your opinions, with or, in this case, WITHOUT fact. Anyone with half a brain knows that their form of "jihad" has been going on for, well... just about forever when you boil it down to the expansion of Islam and the elimination of "infidels." Nobody likes admitting that because it's not tolerant enough of another race and religion - assuming, of course, that Caucasians aren't a race and Christianity isn't a religion deserving tolerance because it truly gets so little from the "tolerant" ones. And, of course, the left-leaning journalists traveling with terrorist groups, interviewing people aspiring to martyrdom and the label of terrorist for the anti-U.S. cause - they're lying, right, because only Christianity has fanatical, violent followers true to their religion, right? Anyway, just as a personal challenge, to see if you're capable, in responding to this, between the oh-so "progressive" vulgarity, the name-calling and the insistence that I'm an idiot )amd then some) without having to present any solid factual evidence that I'm wrong all the way around backed up by citation of sources, can you try actually defining "forward thinking" or even the term "progressive" with something that makes sense in a REAL WORLD context? Much oblige...

  • March 29, 2009, 1:30 p.m. CST

    No mescaline here...

    by jorson28

    Just having fun with the kind of insults everyone gets away with on this board, albeit from the other side. I'm done, though.

  • March 29, 2009, 1:30 p.m. CST

    Jesus Harry, take just an OUNCE of pride in your work

    by Kief_Ledger

    You really don't have a hard job; write comprehensive articles about what your passion in life. Instead you decide to post incomprehensible articles that leaves much of your readership scratching their heads. Yes, I know that you really don't care what any of the readers think, but you should. If I get criticized of my output at work, I'll most definitely try to correct my error in some way. It's just a matter of laziness. How much longer would it really take you to proofread your articles and make them readable? Christ, you have one of the best, easiest, jobs in the world and you can't even write ONE article that doesn't leave me what drugs you were on while writing it. Just some criticism big guy, don't take it too personally.

  • March 29, 2009, 1:32 p.m. CST

    Blue Ass Syndrome...

    by jimmy rabbitte

    Just when you think it can't get any weirder.

  • March 29, 2009, 1:37 p.m. CST

    "2x4 to forehead stupidity"

    by Jesiah

    This, along with things like having a "hate boner," are why I love this site. Oh, and the power to influence Stallone's casting decisions is a really + also.

  • March 29, 2009, 1:39 p.m. CST

    Replace her birth control with sweethearts

    by Quin the Eskimo

    Works every time.

  • March 29, 2009, 1:39 p.m. CST

    Can anyone tell me what the Hell that was about?

    by SlickyVonBoner

    I have to be at work in an hour and don't have time to read a short novel.

  • March 29, 2009, 1:42 p.m. CST

    where the wild things are caused a huge shitstorm on 4chan

    by The Amazing G

    but 4channers would quite literally rather be dead than a "hipster", me personally I think "hipster" like "emo" is an overused term that has become 100% meaningless

  • March 29, 2009, 1:44 p.m. CST

    SlickVonBoner

    by Jesiah

    Cliffnotes are Fox doesn't send harry prescreeners or allows him to view flicks in advance so he was surprised to see they sent him Marley & Me blu ray and that he actually liked it. That and he heard some kids these days are born with a blue a$$ and he hopes one will be born with a blue dong a la Dr. Manhattan.

  • March 29, 2009, 1:52 p.m. CST

    The problem with hipsters...

    by Organs

    ...is the whole labeling thing. The one constant among hipsters is making fun of something or someone for not being as cool as the commenter. It's the same problem with a lot of people; it's just the hipsters seem to make fun of people for adhering to a scene while, in so doing, they've established their own scene. <br> <br> I think we all just need to get over ourselves and just say "eh, fuck it".

  • March 29, 2009, 2:03 p.m. CST

    I'm with you Harry

    by obidawsn

    My wife and I made fun of Marley & Me because of the silly trailers. Come one, it had to be silly. A dog movie with Owen Wilson? But by chance, we ended up catching it at a discount theater on Valentine's Day. Our original plans didn't work out, and it was the only thing that we thought we might at least be OK watching. It turned out to be a great movie. Now she wants it on Blu-ray. I'm glad someone else felt the same way. Thanks for writing this.

  • March 29, 2009, 2:11 p.m. CST

    you are 100% correct Organs

    by The Amazing G

    people do need to just say "eh, fuck it" and just like what they like without trying to fit into one "group", take me for example, I like a wide variety of things and I wouldn't label myself into just one thing

  • March 29, 2009, 2:14 p.m. CST

    What in Mavra's name is this about?

    by The_Man_Behind_The_Curtain

    Only Mavra really knows and she's over on http://www.mymavra.com/ trying to deliver the latest movie news! Wanna see?<p>Remember though that she's not YOUR Mavra.... she's MY Mavra!<p>See you over there.

  • March 29, 2009, 2:15 p.m. CST

    Proof Read

    by Perceptor

    I didn't finish the article because I felt like I was reading something written by someone on a lot of drugs. I think I've lost all hope for Harry.

  • March 29, 2009, 2:16 p.m. CST

    A return to sincerity

    by criticalbliss

    Harry, I think what you're trying to say is that you're tired of all the post-modern, critical thinking: the nexus where criticism deconstructs life until there is nothing left to experience. Hipsters are bullshit; they tell you what to enjoy or you can't join their "club". There's a point where everyone is just "watching" rather than living. We've spent too much time as a society in a countercultural movement which has destroyed our priorities and respect for our elders and for a sense of right and wrong. So many people insist that one must be miserable and misanthropic to be "cool". Life isn't perfect, and neither are people. There is no such THING as perfection. So, maybe, perhaps you're ready for a baby soon--and a return to traditional values that suddenly start making sense as we age and gain perspective.

  • March 29, 2009, 2:37 p.m. CST

    Marley and Me

    by David Assholehoff

    This movie made me cry. I was much nicer to my dog (For a few days), and in general a little more sympathetic to those around me. This is a prime example of the positive stories hollywood should focus on instead of apocolyptic films that feature not the actors, but rather how many shocking ways they can meet their grisley end. It's like death is evolving from an act to an actor. Life itself doesn't need to be as grim as the world around us. Let's focus on the beautiful so our world becomes a little more so.

  • March 29, 2009, 2:41 p.m. CST

    Hipsters are cool. Douches are not.

    by donduck

    It's just the douchbags who ruin it. I guess I'm a hipster because I like vintage clothes and I'm cultured. Generalizing people is nothing new, but I think "Hipster" is so vague and broad that I'm sure that maybe 60 percent kinda fall into a hipster category somehow. I guess I'm over the whole label thing.

  • March 29, 2009, 2:43 p.m. CST

    How about a little spell check?

    by CiscoMan

    I've been reading this site for 12-13 years. Please, for the love of God, Knowles family, just click the spell check button before you post. Microsoft Word's dictionary ain't the best, but it knows the difference between "worse" and "worst." I'm trying really hard not to be snarky right now, but the rambling and the typos... I WANT to read what you're writing, but you're making it very hard. Thanks much.

  • March 29, 2009, 2:56 p.m. CST

    It's the brown acid.

    by Ray Gamma

    I told him time and time again.

  • March 29, 2009, 2:58 p.m. CST

    I get it

    by Doc_Hudson

    I've seen my fair share of films with friends,and when you see one you know your gonna hate on,....and find out watching it,..it's like a mirror to you.....it's creepy. The Big H is being introspective about the times we are living in. Cheers man,...just try to enjoy the ride!

  • March 29, 2009, 3:11 p.m. CST

    This is beautiful, Harry.

    by Light_Tweaker

    I loved reading it. Can I email you about finding some good psychedelics in Austin?

  • March 29, 2009, 3:20 p.m. CST

    Uhh... whut?

    by SnapT

    Whum.

  • March 29, 2009, 3:38 p.m. CST

    "I'm cultured"

    by The Eskimo

    Ha! What the fuck does that mean? Like yogurt?

  • March 29, 2009, 3:58 p.m. CST

    Harold try it again please.

    by Sal_Bando

    This might actually be an interesting piece if you re-write it, edit it and/or let Quint finish it off for you. Let's try it in a nutshell shall we? <p> I'm married to Yoko. I'm 37 this year. I want kids. She's Meh about it. I saw a movie about a Dog by a studio I loathe. I thought the movie would suck. It turned out to be really good and it struck a nerve w/ me because of the dog, the young family and the kids in the movie. Reminded me of my life, sort of. It was good. Fuck hipsters who don't like dog movies including me. Then there is a new Trek movie. I don't really like Trek. But this Trek is going to be good despite itself. I can't wait. End.

  • March 29, 2009, 3:59 p.m. CST

    Substance Abuse

    by Perceptor

    Harry, is all this rambling and run ons. Aside, maybe I am reading this all wrong. A call for help this might be.... YODA. Slow down, take a breath. Form sentence. In head. Type. If you need intervention, put it in French,morse code, backwards and upside down and it would be a whole lot easier for us to understand. My head hurts and I didn't even make it past the third paragraph, if that's what these were.

  • March 29, 2009, 4:02 p.m. CST

    Harry: just have the kid already

    by Light_Tweaker

    You're not getting any younger. But for Christ's sake, give the child a normal name. Don't make the same mistake McWeeny did: Kurosawa Chewbacca McWeeny...the child will never forgive you for shit like that. <p> HAHAHAHA, line break, noobs!

  • March 29, 2009, 4:03 p.m. CST

    This is the problem with the internet.

    by phool2056

    People, like Harry, who have interesting things to say, don't have any kind of editor to make sure it makes sense. Sorry, Harry, but your post here is pretty garbled. Like, incoherently so. I got that you like Marley, and don't quite understand what "hipster" means.

  • March 29, 2009, 4:08 p.m. CST

    Marley & Me 2----Die Marleyer

    by thelordofhell

    Older, more jaded couple gets another dog, only to find out that it shits all over the house and eats their children during the night. In the end, the dog runs out in traffic and gets hit by a car and killed and the couple get all sad........this shit just writes itself.

  • March 29, 2009, 4:11 p.m. CST

    Manhattan's dong wasn't that big. kinda dissappointed.

    by BMacSmith

    from the whiny dorks on here i was expecting some 12 inch mammoth cock. it did put mine to shame, but it wasn't THAT big.<p>PENIS

  • March 29, 2009, 4:19 p.m. CST

    Um. What's the point of all of this ?

    by PTSDPete

  • March 29, 2009, 4:27 p.m. CST

    Neon Bible fucking RULES

    by pleasebanme

    Am I the only person on the planet who likes it ten times more than Funeral? Yeah, Funeral is good indie pop and a great debut, but Neon Bible is a fucking masterpiece.

  • March 29, 2009, 4:37 p.m. CST

    Definition Of A Hipster

    by thelordofhell

    A hipster is just a college student that picked a bad major.

  • March 29, 2009, 5:03 p.m. CST

    jorson28

    by quantize

    know...you are a neocon fucktard..

  • March 29, 2009, 5:12 p.m. CST

    Crap...

    by NotVeryFunny

    ...or shit. Or this article. You choose. No difference.

  • March 29, 2009, 5:16 p.m. CST

    blah blah blah

    by shazam7

    What was that?

  • March 29, 2009, 5:17 p.m. CST

    What's all that crap hanging off the Enterprise?

    by lockesbrokenleg

  • March 29, 2009, 5:40 p.m. CST

    Harry, if you do choose to have a kid..

    by themasterofnonsense

    try not to molest or eat it.

  • March 29, 2009, 5:43 p.m. CST

    Marley and Me was a pleasant surprise

    by Immortal_Fish

    We recently lost our dog. If you've ever had pets, then you understand that it's not something that just sucks -- it's like losing a member of the family. The movie was difficult to absorb, yet was equally rewarding. We're grateful for its timing. Give it a shot if you've written it off as just another Must Love Dogs.

  • March 29, 2009, 5:50 p.m. CST

    Hipsters are douches, and Star Trek transcends genre

    by TallBoy66

    I hate hipsters. I really do. That's all I have to say on that topic, because they're twats and they don't deserve a second glance. But Star Trek doesn't need to be marketing to a particular demographic simply because Star Trek can be ANY GENRE. That's why it's so good, you can take any type of story you want: romance, action, war, comedy, hard-sci-fi, flip sci-fi, coming of age stories, anything you want and as long as somebody beams and somebody else uses a communicator or somebody's on the Enterprise or whatever, it's still Star Trek. That's why I scratch my head at people bitching about JJ's movie possibly being a "mindless action flick". If you've ever watched a LOT of Star Trek, the truth is it can be any story you want it to be. That's why it's been around for so long.

  • March 29, 2009, 5:52 p.m. CST

    Immortal_Fish

    by Jesiah

    What do you mean you lost your dog? As in death, or they disappeared? I ask because my dog jumped the fence December 16, 2008. I always put a craigslist ad up in the lost and found and also pet sections of the los angeles craigslist. I was also interested in Marley & Me because of the disappearance of my dog, River.

  • March 29, 2009, 5:54 p.m. CST

    Awful

    by CutAndPaste

    I'm sorry Harry, but in this day and age, where there are at least 4 or 5 different text programs that all include grammar and spell checkers, there is no excuse for the crap that you routinely put up. But maybe you're using a typewriter and having an underling post it up for you; if that's the case, just read it over once before mailing it with a red pen nearby...just once. I think you'll be amazed at how much better your writing is after just one edit. You never know, it might even become contagious and you'll want to keep editing until you have a finished product that won't be a tool that first grade teachers use to show their students how NOT to write.

  • March 29, 2009, 6:04 p.m. CST

    I took a nap and dreamt I was in Harry's brain!

    by The Reluctant Austinite

    It was like a dark ride through the World of Sid & Marty Krofft! Talking mushrooms! Grumpy trees! Magic flutes and a dragon that looked like Mayor McCheese! Oh wait, that's what usually goes on in my brain!

  • March 29, 2009, 6:06 p.m. CST

    I got about a quarter in...

    by WhinyNegativeBitch

    ...This is a Star Trek ad right? Whats actually wrong with hipsters anyway. I like the same things they do, including girls in glasses and Neon Bible. Although I liked Bruce Springsteen before it was cool again.

  • March 29, 2009, 6:06 p.m. CST

    This is CLASSIC HARRY.

    by Archive

    Missed you, matey! Where ya been? Harry, sometimes your writing sets me right.

  • March 29, 2009, 6:21 p.m. CST

    Immortal_Fish

    by WhinyNegativeBitch

    I've had a few pets die in me in my time. On all occasions I didn't give a shit, bar one. It was a cat I was fond of. So I went out and bought one that looked exactly the same. Problem solved.

  • March 29, 2009, 6:22 p.m. CST

    grown ups

    by bobo2

    growing up eh? dont expect that from jjtrek though. it appears to be created for the 14 year old set.

  • March 29, 2009, 6:23 p.m. CST

    You wanna see what harry's talking about?

    by Kenny_Fuckin_Powers

    http://thecobrasnake.com/partyphotos/hollywoodstars/index.html<p> Paramount's marketers pay shitty fuckin dude with a 70s porn stache who dated a 16 year old to go to a party full of fellow douchebags so they can dress like fuckin punky brewster and the class of head of the fuckin class while synergistically promoting star trek with a bunch of women who were paid to be there. fuck this bullshit.

  • March 29, 2009, 6:27 p.m. CST

    Maurice Jarre is dead.

    by JIMBOCOP

    "Eyes Without a Face", "Laurence of Arabia", "Ryan's Daughter", "A Passage to India", "The Last Tycoon", "Shogun", "A Walk in he Clouds", "Jacob's Ladder", "Ghost", etc. etc. Not a whisper on AICN. Poor show. That is all.

  • March 29, 2009, 6:28 p.m. CST

    Listen

    by Quin the Eskimo

    When I was 17 my dad died. Three months later my dog Pinky dies. I loved my dog, I loved my dad. Losing my dog was not at all like losing a member of my family. It was like losing a dog that I loved dearly. But not like losing my dad. Hyperbole people, watch for it.

  • March 29, 2009, 6:50 p.m. CST

    oh shit JIMBOCOP, are you serious?

    by The Amazing G

    that sucks, I especially love his score for Jacob's Ladder

  • March 29, 2009, 7:02 p.m. CST

    RIP Maurice Jarre

    by Light_Tweaker

    I feel like my beloved pet just passed :(

  • March 29, 2009, 7:06 p.m. CST

    IT WOULD BE NICE KNOWLES IF YOU HAD A FUCKING POINT!!!

    by THEFUCKINGCREEPYTHINMAN

  • March 29, 2009, 7:09 p.m. CST

    Yeah, sure, when Joyce writes like that it's brilliant...

    by mraig

    But I read the following sentence several times without being able to make any sense of it: <P> I love questioning authority, I love what newest in stores, albeit slightly aloof in my following of any modern clothing trend other that the ridiculously lost nature I find the person in the mirror wearing. <P> I just don't think I have it in me to follow this article.

  • March 29, 2009, 7:10 p.m. CST

    SO 0 REVIEWS OF 12 ROUNDS and 1 MvA REVIEW, BUT WE GET THIS?

    by BMacSmith

    so 0 reviews of 12 rounds and 1 of MvA, but we get this babble? What the fuck is the point of this site? I would think Vern would show up with a 12 Rounds review or something. or did I miss it? Fuck I would be happy with a Haunting in Connecticut review. <p>judging from the talkbacks, apparently there is something in there about you having a kid or something? if thats the case, congrats!

  • March 29, 2009, 7:15 p.m. CST

    So basically Fatty is admitting that

    by IndyCollector

    He only reviews movies that are screened free for him. Harry you are STILL a film fan who reviews the OCCASIONAL film. Your reviews are getting less and less each year but yet you claim to review movies as your "career." If this site existed the way it does now back when you hosted with Ebert you never would have gotten that gig.

  • March 29, 2009, 7:16 p.m. CST

    i have to say though, as indecipherable as that was...

    by BMacSmith

    i find myself drawn to reading it. As if, somewhere deep, DEEP within that mangled sentence structure there was an actual coherent thought. What thought that was, i can only guess, but i imagine its something amazing.

  • March 29, 2009, 7:19 p.m. CST

    i like Indie music, but I would punch those douches in the face

    by BMacSmith

    those weren't hipsters. those were people deserving of massive beatdowns.

  • March 29, 2009, 7:22 p.m. CST

    Harry--man, I am a little confused...

    by Bones

    You say you don't like Star Trek...but your wife asked you why you like Star Trek when you started going out? Do you like Star Trek or not?<p> See...for me, it is an all or nothing kind of thing. Either you like Star Trek, being the Kirk Era, the 24th Century and part of Enterprise (say, like the 4th season when it was more like the original show)--or you don't like Star Trek.<p> I am not including the new movie in that...at least not yet...because it is the project that basically tells all of the fans that the last 43 years don't matter anymore. They promised at the beginning of the project that it would be returning to the beginning of the story--to when Kirk and Spock first met and that we would see the original ship, the original costumes and a fidelity and detail to story, character and aesthetic. And that is the story they kept saying, even when they brought in Nimoy, it was leaked that it would be a time-travel movie, and that things would be "slightly" different.<p> And then the trailers started to hit--and the tone seems wrong, the look seems wrong, and fans keep hearing that we are not the crowd they are going after--and that it is the perception of Star Trek being for Nerds and Geeks that has kept it from being a success...as if 40 years of product, hundreds of hours of content and millions of devoted fans is not a success.<p> F*ck Hipsters. F*ck Jocks. F*ck Casual Moviegoers who hate smart cinema. Trying to go after your demographics has been one of the reasons that Star Trek slowly forgot what it was began compromising it's integrity and alienating it's core audience...well, that and the fact that Patrick Stewart and Brent Spiner's desire to be part of the storytelling in the last two movies was a bad idea. Ugh.<p> Just make a smart story, that honors the history of Star Trek and the characters--is that too much to ask?<p. And Harry--try watching the other Star Treks before you write them off. They are the real thing.

  • March 29, 2009, 7:24 p.m. CST

    Maurice Jarre died? Sucks.

    by Bones

    That is horrible.

  • March 29, 2009, 7:26 p.m. CST

    What the hell is going on with this place?

    by wonderllama

    Seriously, more and more wasteful ponderings from Harry? I appreciate that this is your site and I've been coming here for...shit...12 years or something like that...but I come here for movie news, not stories about you. I know you think your 18 pages of backstory adds to the actual information you are telling us, but it really doesn't. It makes me snore. I'm sure your wife is lovely, but I don't care about her in this report. She is filler, much like most of your posts these days. Again, I'm not trying to be personal, but like you've been doing in real life Harry, trim the fat...trim the fat!

  • March 29, 2009, 7:28 p.m. CST

    Fuck Jarre..they officially cancelled LIPSTICK JUNGLE

    by Six Demon Bag

    there is no god

  • March 29, 2009, 7:28 p.m. CST

    theLordofHell's definition of a hipster

    by D.Vader

    That's funny.

  • March 29, 2009, 7:29 p.m. CST

    Maurice Jarre died?!?

    by D.Vader

    Really? FUCK, I was just watching Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome 2 days ago and enjoying his wonderful score for that film.

  • March 29, 2009, 7:30 p.m. CST

    Hipsters

    by Kirk1701

    Fine article. Some well-placed ideas. It is disconcerting for Paramount to be inviting the hipsters to our Star Trek party. We have felt threatened by these people all our lives. If it isn't the football team flushing our spectacles, the really pretty girls conspicuously denying our existence. But we've dealt with all that in therapy right? What worries us most, I think, is that Star Trek 'kitsch' has the potential to devalue our beloved property. It trivializes it worse than the rugby captain flossing his ass with my TOS uniform tunic. But the truth is, we can ignore that aspect. We don't have to allow that crowd to ruin our party. They may be there, but let's face it, they're not going to pay any more attention to us than they did in high school. I'm choosing to put my faith in the Bad Robot team. They've brought us so many geek-tastic things in the past, that they're sure to speak for all of us in this new film. We'll be represented. Perhaps more than we ever have before. Perhaps more than we deserve.

  • March 29, 2009, 7:36 p.m. CST

    Dragon Wars is on Sci F channel already?

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Wasn't that just in theaters?

  • March 29, 2009, 7:37 p.m. CST

    The problem with this is bad writing.

    by Vanderhorst

    Neon Bible is an amazing album though, I'll give you that.

  • March 29, 2009, 7:39 p.m. CST

    wasn't original Trek pretty hipsterish anyway?

    by BMacSmith

    i remember a lot of silly poses and weird Andy Warhol moments in that. i don't get what all the fuss is about.

  • March 29, 2009, 7:40 p.m. CST

    Forget what everyone is saying...

    by WhereWeAreGoing

    Forget what everyone is saying, this is good. I'm glad you shared this. This is real. Personally, I wouldn't mind if you did this far more often. It shows that movies are a hobby or a diversion, but a filter for life itself.

  • March 29, 2009, 7:41 p.m. CST

    lockes - i just watched it. HOLY SHIT what a terrible movie

    by BMacSmith

    never saw it before just now. it officially crosses into 'so bad its good' territory. nothing about it made any sense whatsoever. 4 stars. I could write a book on this movie.

  • March 29, 2009, 7:42 p.m. CST

    So WHAT if another "group" likes Star Trek

    by D.Vader

    Star Trek shouldn't be exclusively for nerds and geeks. That kind of inclusive attitude and fear of others is contrary to the spirit of Star Trek anyway. I don't give a shit if Jocks or Rappers or bimbo bitchy girls like Star Trek. It just gives us all something common- humanity- which was a theme Star Trek explored. <p> That said, this is still TERRIBLE FUCKING WRITING.

  • March 29, 2009, 7:43 p.m. CST

    The Harry divorce talkbacks will be great

    by tbransonlives

    Not hoping it happens, but that will be some entertainment.

  • March 29, 2009, 7:44 p.m. CST

    *meant "anti-inclusive"

    by D.Vader

  • March 29, 2009, 7:51 p.m. CST

    I too love what newest in stores, albeit slightly aloof in my fo

    by BMacSmith

    "I love what newest in stores, albeit slightly aloof in my following of any modern clothing trend other that the ridiculously lost nature I find the person in the mirror wearing. "<p><p> yeah me too. holy FUCK there has to a name for the writing disorder you have. I have been entertained. thank you.

  • March 29, 2009, 8:03 p.m. CST

    That quote will go down in history

    by D.Vader

    As the moment Harry went braindead.

  • March 29, 2009, 8:11 p.m. CST

    REALLY HARRY, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

    by THEFUCKINGCREEPYTHINMAN

    You’re an idiot who lucked out by creating a website that attracts people like me who come to AICN to talk shit about movies and have a few laughs. Paramount was founded in 19fucking12 for christ sakes, long before your fathers condom broke. Try to get some fucking perspective. You’re pissed because they don’t pander to you with pwresents and free preview screenings? Too fucking bad. They don’t need you and will continue to exist long after you’ve had your inevitable heart attack and lie sticking in the earth. Be glad for what you have because without this site you’d be running a video store or on disability for your morbid obesity and that wife of yours wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire. Why do you think she doesn't want kids with you?

  • March 29, 2009, 8:15 p.m. CST

    That said, the Trek party looks annoying as shit

    by D.Vader

    Damnit. Everyone's trying to outcool the other one.

  • March 29, 2009, 8:17 p.m. CST

    how i felt after trying to read that http://tinyurl.com/625nw6

    by BMacSmith

    Harry's writing 'style' = Batman's voice in TDK.

  • March 29, 2009, 8:18 p.m. CST

    Jeez, you people here are bitter.

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Don't people like anything anymore?

  • March 29, 2009, 8:21 p.m. CST

    Brett Ratner!!!!

    by RatnerFan101

    Rumor has it Brett Ratner is set to direct a remake of "Citizen Kane"!!!!! OMG!!!! There is a God.

  • March 29, 2009, 8:24 p.m. CST

    I agree on the I want star trek to cross-over bit.

    by ilovemrdoe

    I had to read the first half of that about three times, and I still can't really undertand it. But the 'I want the world to sort it's shit out' bit I get, I got that feeling playing mass effect.

  • March 29, 2009, 8:25 p.m. CST

    We like writing we can understand, Locke

    by D.Vader

    Is that too much to ask from a favorite website?

  • March 29, 2009, 8:27 p.m. CST

    Yeah, but you're arguing about a party.

    by lockesbrokenleg

    So lame.

  • March 29, 2009, 8:32 p.m. CST

    this site desperately needs Moriarty back.

    by BMacSmith

    AICN.com: a few contests, boring interviews, a fucking EW 'best of' list, Scriptgirl, and now this. <p>I rest my case.

  • March 29, 2009, 8:34 p.m. CST

    Who's arguing Locke?

    by D.Vader

    "Yeah, but you're arguing about a party." <p> So, "yeah" its too much to ask for good writing? Pick a topic and stick with it. <p> Harry's writing sucks is the main one. <p> A tangent I just went off on? I think the people at that party look annoying.

  • March 29, 2009, 8:34 p.m. CST

    Harold's blogspotte(TM)

    by Sal_Bando

    Gone Awry. Yeah the site seems to be missing something-you have Drew gone to greener pastures, you've got Quint doing his movie producer/writer thingie, and you've got PogoPope and Caponi attempting to keep the ship running despite being hamstrung w/ these recent defections. What would be cool-would for Harold to review more movies, for Harold to do more interviews w/ people, and for Harold to do some of those neat 'Movie a day' sorta things that Quint was doing. <p> C'mon Harold-you've seen 8000 films, you've prob. got the entire ouevre of Henry King, King Vidor and William Wyler etched onto yer brain-share some of it w/ us. Your cousin there Guinn Big Boy Williams-tell us about him some. I enjoyed watching him in Gary Cooper's Springfield Rifle a few weeks back. Really a decent Victor McLaglen/Wallace Beery type of role, you know? Play up your historian role there Harold, yew kin do it.

  • March 29, 2009, 8:38 p.m. CST

    In other words, Sal Bando...

    by D.Vader

    It'd be nice if Harry treated this site like he did in the old days, before the addition of other editors. It only makes sense. When you start losing the good things you gained, its time to step up and make up for the loss. Treat this site like you used to. Make us proud to be geeks again.

  • March 29, 2009, 8:42 p.m. CST

    Wow.....just wow...

    by benlinus

    I was going to come here and complain about what a horribly written and pointless piece this was, really, I was, but it looks like everyone beat me to it...oh well, nevermind. I wait for the next pointless, non-sensical, Harry article.

  • March 29, 2009, 8:42 p.m. CST

    Exactly D.Vader.

    by Sal_Bando

    I've given Harold plenty of shit thru the years as either Ingagi38 or GoatZinger or TomBodet, but I'm a fan of the guy, actually--and I like this site. <p> But it does seem like the film lover in him kinda got taken outta the game for a spell, benched in favor of stupid Scriptgal(TM) stunts, sub-Patton Oswaldt reviews by PogoPope and really odd barrages of Amazon.com ads masquerading as Herkimer 'coaxial' stories. <p> We should have a fun-filled spring and summer of genre movies-Trek Rewound, Terminator Fore, Big Robots (Hitting Vern Again and Again II): BayTastik Boogaloo, etc. But you'd never know it--it's like Watchmen was the one thing he was interested in, and once that turned out to be an over-hyped mishmash--I had more fun w/ Mummy III because I'm like that-well I donno. He's bummed and wants to go watch dog movies. Simple.

  • March 29, 2009, 8:44 p.m. CST

    harry and Mori need each other. please get back together.

    by BMacSmith

    Mori's well-crafted reviews were the perfect counter to Harry's steadfast refusal to make sense. i miss that.

  • March 29, 2009, 8:47 p.m. CST

    Harry, are you on the goofy nose powder?

    by Kid Z

    Because this nonsensical posting or review or apology to FOX or whatever the hell sounds just like the haphazard, rambling, idiotic half-sentence-filled blather of a major league cokehead. Seriously dude, I have no idea what you are trying to relate, if anything, and just trying to read it made my head hurt. If you need it, get some friggen help, big guy!

  • March 29, 2009, 8:51 p.m. CST

    I like parties.

    by lockesbrokenleg

  • March 29, 2009, 8:51 p.m. CST

    Carl Sagan

    by ilovemrdoe

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p86BPM1GV8M

  • March 29, 2009, 8:53 p.m. CST

    Apparently Harry is pregnant. thats what i got from that.

    by BMacSmith

    I'm not too sure about the hipsters, but Manhattan is the father. and a dog movie made him feel better about Star Trek.

  • March 29, 2009, 8:58 p.m. CST

    I like parties too

    by D.Vader

    LOST parties.

  • March 29, 2009, 9:02 p.m. CST

    That's it. This site just Jumped the Shark

    by eXcommunicated

    Nuked the Fridge, or whathaveyou. Horrible "article." Never coming back to this site again. Please delete my account.

  • March 29, 2009, 9:04 p.m. CST

    I got 3 paras in

    by Omar B

    I got 3 paragraphs in when I realized Harry must be drunk out of his damn mind. It's bad enough to listen to drunk talk, but to expect us to read drunk talk? Really man, just give us the cool news and keep the rest to people who are unfortunate enough to know you.

  • March 29, 2009, 9:06 p.m. CST

    All I can say is

    by 900LBGorilla

    Mr. Knowles, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. <p> At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. <p> Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. <p> I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. <p> Sorry, couldn’t resist that one…

  • March 29, 2009, 9:12 p.m. CST

    It was somewhat mindful of a W press-conference.

    by Sal_Bando

    Watching Prez 'Speak and Spell' mangling logic, syntax and coherent thought thru the years, I could feel my IQ slipping into the banana peel zone. Harold was guilty of inducing the same sick sensation here, not only for myself but the 900lb Gorillas in the lot, too. Sad.

  • March 29, 2009, 9:17 p.m. CST

    Is this Harry's cry for help?

    by axel fff

    If so, judging from this TB, I'd say he's fucked.

  • March 29, 2009, 9:23 p.m. CST

    What the hell was that?

    by MY_BLUE_PENIS

    Man, this site's only cool thing is the TalkBacks now....

  • March 29, 2009, 9:46 p.m. CST

    i only check the site for the obituaries.

    by BMacSmith

    somebody is always dying around here.

  • March 29, 2009, 9:49 p.m. CST

    Whenever anyone types in all caps...

    by DrBrianOblivion

    ...I purposefully read it really quietly just to spite the person who did it. Does anybody else do this?

  • March 29, 2009, 9:58 p.m. CST

    nice to know that

    by frank cotton

    there's someone out there with sense enough not to just start breeding mindlessly first chance they get. if it were up to some of you, there'd be 10 billion of us

  • March 29, 2009, 10:22 p.m. CST

    Did you list the 7 cities?

    by LegalizeRomulanAle

    I usually will read anything that mentions Star Trek at least twice on one page, but I stopped around the part where 7 cities are getting these ultra sexycool hipster Star Trek parties... What are the 7 cities? If they're already listed above, I apologize, but I really don't want to read a review of Marley and Me to find them...

  • March 29, 2009, 10:35 p.m. CST

    eXcommunicated...I think you mean

    by Jesiah

    Nuked the Fridge. And this is coming from me, a person who thought Indy 4 was alright (take out mutt or at least have someone worthy of the Jones name in his place and it'd be good). When your grandad is James Bond, Han Solo is your dad, and you end up looking like an ugly castoff from the Disney Channel something aint adding up.

  • March 29, 2009, 10:52 p.m. CST

    I was hoping this year might see...

    by crankyoldguy

    the reduction of 'we're so cool-we're so hip' crap with celeb gawk and the 'isn't it all so great' positioning. Like the fucking moron blonde on Access or ET or whatever it is; all those shows look like. Like I give a fuck about daily reports from TMZ. Will that improve me quality of life? Big no there. Yeah, geek/nerd-dom has always been the real cool in my universe, just as real musicians are always cooler than some prissy-pose alt band of the month. Want a list of the really cool musicans/songwriters? Just ask. Sometimes you transcend the hype and last. Or sometimes the coolest of all never go mega at all and are never hyped. But I'm all for an anti-hipster backlash. And beatings. And i'd like to smack the next publicist who sends out a note that starts out "Dear Tastemaker." Any critic who thinks they're that, believing their own greatness needs a severe pummeling, along with the hipster crowd. I knew there was a reason we needed to bring back the guillotine and its public use (also on Madoff, AIG scum and such, but that's another story, isn't it?).

  • March 29, 2009, 11:09 p.m. CST

    Lost parties are fun!

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Especially when Hurley says Dude.

  • March 29, 2009, 11:34 p.m. CST

    Who the fuck cares about hipsters?

    by SamuelJackson1

    Why is there backlash for a group i frankly don't see why we should give a damn about. Are we trying to find the new "emo"? Once we see pathetic suburban preteens talking about how Neutral Milk Hotel defined their lives ...than yeah i can see the backlash.

  • March 30, 2009, 12:15 a.m. CST

    Thanks for the cautionary reminder

    by The_Breeze

    Once upon a time, many, many years ago, I decided to do some work on my computer when I was really drunk and wound up deleting a whole bunch of stuff. I need to bookmark this article, because if I ever feel the urge to touch a computer while intoxicated ever again, attempting to read this mess will stop me.

  • March 30, 2009, 12:36 a.m. CST

    My Response To Harry's Talking Points

    by thelordofhell

    Hipsters--Who cares, you're a geek not a hipster Star Trek--I'ts going to be a good movie, but not the best movie this summer, get over it Life--Either punch a hole in a condom or replace the birth control pills with tic-tacs and knock your woman up Austin--everyone's home town is awesome, live with it Marley & Me--even the sun shines on FOX's ass every once in a while, just remember how shitty the Wolverine movie is going to be

  • March 30, 2009, 12:55 a.m. CST

    This Aritcle Reminds Me Of

    by phoenixmagida5th

    The opening car chase of Quantum of Solace, You don't know what the the fuck is going on!

  • March 30, 2009, 1:42 a.m. CST

    Opening car chase

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Bond is being chased by other cars, that's not so hard to figure out.

  • March 30, 2009, 1:50 a.m. CST

    I kinda wanted to read this post...

    by digitalcos

    But then when I couldn't even make sense of the first paragraph (after reading it three times) I gave up.

  • March 30, 2009, 1:52 a.m. CST

    Aint It Coherent News or nostairway denied!

    by Sithtastic

    First to nostairway, who toward the bginning of the thread, nailed exactly why I don't like hipsters: their overwhelming, overwrought, too-cool-for-school slavish race to be "hip" squares (If that makes any sense). Thank you man! As for Harry, hey man, it is after all your site and some of us are lucky to keep it kosher for a few lines of TB, be as rambling as you want to be. These paras are like scavenger hunt for actual news and who says reading can't be fun again, especially with expressions like "even worst".

  • March 30, 2009, 2:02 a.m. CST

    lockesbrokenleg

    by phoenixmagida5th

    True. But it helps if you can follow the well rehearsed and chorographed action of the chase just like in this article. Sure its a rant by harry but I wana be able to understand his overall point. P.s go fuck yourself douche

  • March 30, 2009, 2:19 a.m. CST

    Good Lord-i'm speechless!

    by Mr.LordBronco

    Umm, what comes next? Defense of "Willow"? I've done the massive weight loss thing, and I'm glad harry did the stomach staple, so i will defend him for vouching. Drastic weight loss can seriously mess with your head1 Beyond being good for long-term health, it also makes one susceptible to the a freakin killer buzz!!! To join in the mayhem-perhaps Krull should be remade as a broadway play? Perhaps the last 3 movies Kevin Smith has made outshine his comic book work? I with Christian bale trashed my lights on this one :-) And creepy thin man actually posted something that was a header and a single sentence

  • March 30, 2009, 2:38 a.m. CST

    New STAR TREK is a hipster orgasm...

    by BurnHollywood

    I think Adbusters magazine nicely defined "hipster" as a vacuous parody of true counterculture...aping the styles and mannerisms of the politically in-touch to carefully craft the appearance of deeper meaning, without knowing or giving a shit about whatever backlash initiated the underlying movement.<p> STAR TREK TOS had a valid relationship to the 60s era that birthed it, but...we've moved on. Revisiting it with an update at this point is a meaningless, masturbatory gesture. The future it painted is becoming increasingly out-of-date (communicators? man, we'll have cellphone implants in a decade or so!), and Abrams' need to strip out existing story elements with a 'reboot' is further pushing it into irrelevance. It's looking to be little more than some prettied-up, nostalgia-inducing bauble at this point, pure "look and feel", sufficient to erect enough geek boners to match its own tentpole release goals before its shallow, sugar-coated effect wears off.<p> Which, like being a hipster douchebag, might be the only relevant point it indirectly makes about modern society...purely out of irony, of course.

  • March 30, 2009, 2:44 a.m. CST

    This Trek movie makes Trek movies good again

    by lockesbrokenleg

    There was a LONG streak of shit Trek movies after Trek 4. We had two bright spots in 6 and First Contact, but yuck.

  • March 30, 2009, 3:54 a.m. CST

    Cocaine is a hell of a drug

    by JuanSanchez

  • March 30, 2009, 6:26 a.m. CST

    M&M

    by goldenage

    That's the most interesting thing I've seen Big H write. What I don't get is why people who didn't like it would bother to A) Finish it and B) Comment. Must be depressing to be Harry and have so many fuckwits as the vocal minority.

  • March 30, 2009, 7:20 a.m. CST

    Hipsters

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    BTW count me among those who aren't quite sure what Harry's talking about when he refers to hipsters. I know what I mean when I say it, I live in fuckin' NYC and them sumbitches are everywhere. But sounds like ol' Harry is talking about something ... good? These people are not good.

  • March 30, 2009, 7:21 a.m. CST

    Cold Hard Logic

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    Obama says "uhh" a lot, therefore he is a fucking idiot. You cannot argue with that.

  • March 30, 2009, 7:30 a.m. CST

    If NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM Had Premiered

    by Buzz Maverik

    ...when Harry was 10, it'd be one of these lost classics like THE LAST STARFIGHTER or TRON...

  • March 30, 2009, 7:57 a.m. CST

    Thank you.

    by Elston Gunn

    Some of you watched our dog movie after I posted it above. Much appreciated. We made it to share, not to sell: http://www.vimeo.com/2541245

  • March 30, 2009, 8:23 a.m. CST

    HERE HERE for LOST parties!!

    by benlinus

  • March 30, 2009, 8:24 a.m. CST

    LOST parties

    by benlinus

    count me in!! I also will be a part of ANY "Spaced" themed party----"Hello Brian"

  • March 30, 2009, 8:33 a.m. CST

    Hipsters....Im w- Thunderbolt

    by benlinus

    Yeah...Im gonna have to agree here...Hipster are fucking awful. They are basically wealthy trust fund babies all grown up. They dress "down" because they are ashamed of all the money they have. They are basically living on the interest of thier trust funds so they dont have any "real" jobs, so they are "artisits" or "writers" whatever they ARE, they are annoying, pretentious no-it-alls who are ALWAYS at the bar you are at when you are trying to have a few pints after work and relax. They suck the very life force out of NYC

  • March 30, 2009, 8:50 a.m. CST

    Goldenage And Elston Gunn

    by D.Vader

    Goldenage: Look around- YOU'RE the minority. This article was horrible. <p> Elston Gunn- We miss your weekly recaps! Save us from ScriptGirl!

  • March 30, 2009, 9:56 a.m. CST

    Hipsters=Dipshits

    by Kid Z

    Nostairway nailed it. "Hipsters" have definitely become just as conformist as the people they continually mock. And I'm sorry, they look like idiots. I'm sick of chicks with too much mascara and those idiotic Bettie Page hairdos that only looked good ON Bettie Page who dress like my dear departed Granmother. Also, vintage clothes SMELL. I don't care how often they're cleaned, you can NEVER get out the smell of 60 year old mothballs, slowly rotting organic molecules and degrading hydrocarbons shedding benzene rings. Plus, you're paying good money for what basically is garbagewear! Save a few bucks and pick up the same items at the Salvation Army or out of people's trash cans why don't you? Morons. Okay. Today's rant is over. Thanks.

  • March 30, 2009, 9:58 a.m. CST

    MrDexter

    by MrDexter

    I've solved it - Harry's post is the longest palindrome ever constructed.

  • March 30, 2009, 10:04 a.m. CST

    Dex

    by Kid Z

    So what does it say backwards? Does it give the hidden location of the lost master print of the complete, 4-hour edit of Kill Bill or something? Or maybe the version of Watchmen that includes the Squid and is watchable?

  • March 30, 2009, 10:14 a.m. CST

    "Another group"

    by WhinyNegativeBitch

    Doesn't like Star Trek. Some fucking pathetic retard from Paramount paid attractive and interesting people to go to a party that had some Star Trek shit there, in a desperate attempt to broaden the appeal to people who aren't the fucking bottom feeders of society. It won't work.

  • March 30, 2009, 10:15 a.m. CST

    Is it even possible to read the whole thing?

    by turketron

    What... in the fuck did I just do with attempting to read that? Holy shit...I think I'll actually do some work now.

  • March 30, 2009, 10:17 a.m. CST

    Harry and the Hipstersons

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    The funny thing is I can't bring myself to read back through Harry's piece to ascertain just what he DOES mean when he talks to hipsters.

  • March 30, 2009, 10:17 a.m. CST

    WhinyNegativeBitch

    by D.Vader

    I was responding to someone else on this TB that suggested it was wrong for "another group" to like Star Trek, as if geeks and nerds had a stranglehold on it. I wasn't commenting on the party or Paramount's attempt to broaden its appeal. But even then, you can't blame them for trying.

  • March 30, 2009, 10:25 a.m. CST

    these fuckin parties don't mean shit

    by Kenny_Fuckin_Powers

    i mean shit, they used to have parties with the fuckin spoonman from soundgarden paid to hang around at my place. it works like this: douchey marketers at companies want "buzz" for their "edgy" product, so they get a douchey dj and a bunch of fashion twats to have a party themed around and sponsored by the product they're selling cause they believe that douchewads that wear colored neck kerchiefs and listen to the tings tings have as much influence on deciding what peons want as this site helped Let The Right One In become a success. Douches come for free booze or because they want to be photographed by douche photographer, and to have somewhere to deal coke and herpes amongst each other. Hipsters versus fuckin nerds: whoever wins, we lose.

  • March 30, 2009, 10:50 a.m. CST

    The best thing about Harry's writing...

    by whitty

    ...is that its poorness distracts me from the poorness of Yoko's writing.

  • March 30, 2009, 10:55 a.m. CST

    Marley and Me is indeed, awesome.

    by Homer Sexual

    This is not so much a kids' movie. It is for people like Harry who are recently married and thinking about a family, and people like me, dog lovers who can really relate to the man-dog bond. So I can forgive Harry's rambling in this case, cause it's true.

  • March 30, 2009, 11:46 a.m. CST

    I agree that Harry has the potential to be the new "Forry"

    by IndyCollector

    But he's too much of a retard.

  • March 30, 2009, 11:54 a.m. CST

    HARRY IS THE GEEK FAULKNER

    by pizzaparty

    he rights in fits and riddles and is our geek warrior poet. i loved this essay. more like this please. it made my day. :)

  • March 30, 2009, 12:16 p.m. CST

    WTF?????

    by jarjarmessiah

    It's like the Brian Posehn joke about comedians that lose their edge when they have children.

  • March 30, 2009, 12:52 p.m. CST

    That poster pretty much sums up STINO in a testicular nutshell

    by Squinty CGI Flynn

  • March 30, 2009, 4:15 p.m. CST

    Will Smith as Hipster

    by PTSDPete

    Aw, hell naw. </p>I'm really not as cool as I want to think I am. </p>

  • March 30, 2009, 5:03 p.m. CST

    No one ever invites me to a party

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Sniff

  • March 30, 2009, 5:47 p.m. CST

    lockesbrokenleg

    by wtriker1701

    ...cos ye can't dance...?

  • March 30, 2009, 6:19 p.m. CST

    lockesbrokenleg

    by themasterofnonsense

    there's a party in my pants...

  • March 30, 2009, 7:25 p.m. CST

    PTSDPete

    by Geekgasm

    Excellent effort, you just need to make sure you get "hell" seperated into two syllables, like "aw HAY-YULL naw". TO be followed immediately by "I have GOT to git me wunna DEEZ!"

  • March 30, 2009, 7:47 p.m. CST

    Elston gunn

    by tbransonlives

    Whatever happend to your weekly recaps? They were much more enjoyable than script girl.

  • March 30, 2009, 8:12 p.m. CST

    Jesiah, re: "What do you mean you lost your dog?"

    by Immortal_Fish

    I mean that we lost our dog the same way you lose a family member -- death. It's awful, but the movie helped us meet the challenge.<P>I hope you find River in good health and soon.

  • March 30, 2009, 8:13 p.m. CST

    WhinyNegativeBitch

    by Immortal_Fish

    It was funnier when Carlin said it.

  • March 30, 2009, 9:04 p.m. CST

    TL/DR

    by JoeSixPack

    Just wanted to state that.

  • March 30, 2009, 9:54 p.m. CST

    Uhhhh......

    by closeencounter

    Would you mind repeating that? Uhhh, nevermind....

  • March 30, 2009, 10:16 p.m. CST

    I never learned to dance.

    by lockesbrokenleg

    :(

  • March 31, 2009, 5:58 a.m. CST

    I once learned to dance...

    by wtriker1701

    ...with the help of a buddy of mine. <br> I tought him playing the guitar. <br> Now there's the fun part: <br> You can get the chicks with either of that. And they wetted willingly... ;-) <br> Now I have my wife thx to that. <p> And I love Star Trek... <br> Does that make me a livin' damn contradiction...? <p> Find someone to teach you how to dance. It's NEVER too late! :-)

  • March 31, 2009, 8:05 a.m. CST

    On the recaps

    by Elston Gunn

    1. Two kids, full-time job and other creative endeavors made it harder to keep it on time. 2. This site and several others were giving the same news daily, rather than weekly. 3. It was unfair to others on this site to rely on their formatting & posting those long recaps on a timely basis. 4. I quite enjoy doing the Q&As I've been able to contribute. 5. HollerPresents.com (fun & artsy fartsy) Having said all that, thanks to everyone who read them and the continued emails and interest. ScriptGirl is on the right path, though, taking the idea to video and having fun with the presentation. I wish I would've thought of it.

  • March 31, 2009, 11:26 a.m. CST

    I never bothered to learn to dance...

    by Kid Z

    ...because, well, because I'm white. White people the world over just ... cannot... I repeat, CANNOT... dance without looking like total tools. It's a scientific fact.

  • March 31, 2009, 5:55 p.m. CST

    Harry was on back meds when he wrote this.

    by Leafar the Lost

    After this go and read Harry's FAST & FURIOUS review, and he reveals that he is taking medication for a pulled muscle in his back. It is very clear to me that he was heavily under the influence of back meds when he wrote what appears to be a MARLEY & ME review. Several years ago I had a severe back injury, and I can testify that the back medications I was given sent me to Loopey-Land the first few times I took them. After awhile your mind adjusts, and then it takes a higher dose to get the same effect. It is very easy to get addicted to the back meds. Ask Chevy Chase about it.