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Massawyrm really wanted to call this review MASSAWYRM VS MONSTERS VS ALIENS but found that too promising for such a boring movie
Hola all. Massawyrm here.
When I walked into this, there was part of me hoping that MADAGASCAR 2 was a fluke - that Dreamworks was simply repeating the formula that had made MADAGASCAR so successful the first time around and that KUNG FU PANDA was the benchmark they were aiming for here. After all, it is a very similar concept. Take a classic genre of film and work in a number of archetypes, make it a bit more family friendly and give the main character a chance to prove themselves in front of their new friends. Pretty straight forward stuff. Well, do you remember the film we were afraid KUNG FU PANDA would be, but wasn’t? That’s MONSTERS VS ALIENS.
It’s not a bad movie. Just something of a boring one. Most of the gags, as I’d initially feared when writing up my initial assessment of the BNAT footage we were shown, are of the direct pop culture variety. The occasional movie reference; a couple jokes that they over explain, killing the timing. But mostly the film is surprisingly light on jokes, despite trying to seem funny. In fact, the single most clever thing about the film is a joke that didn’t find its way into the movie, but instead was something of an office joke: lacking the rights to the 50 Foot Woman, Ginormica was nicknamed the 49’ 11 and ¾ inch woman. That’s kind of funny -especially if they’d made it work right. But there seems to have been little attempt to punch this up as they let the idea of the film drive it.
And I’ll admit, I do like the ideas they’re playing around with. It’s the story of a regular girl who wants a regular life and instead gets turned into a giant monster on her wedding day. Shortly after she’s thrown into a containment facility (seemingly for life) with CG versions of THE FLY, THE BLOB, THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON and MOTHRA, aliens attack and the only thing the US Government can think of is to throw monsters at them. And it isn’t until she has to save the world that our heroine begins to discover who she is. But as great as her character is, the rest of the monsters are pretty much one note jokes that never quite get fully developed, nor does the film offer any real surprises at all. It certainly has something positive to say (being something of an empowerment film), but it rarely knows how to say it in a manner that is either funny or really touching.
The whole film is just kind of there, with none of the action scenes ever proving to be very inventive and none of the ideas being fleshed out enough to be interesting beyond their introductions. I really wanted to like this, but the film never helped me out, never met me halfway. It’s just a solid kids movie that lacks the magic to put it on par with the two films it most resembles: KUNG FU PANDA and THE INCREDIBLES. That said, most of the voice talent is pretty great with Seth Rogen standing out (yet again, he’s been pretty reliable with voice work) and Hugh Laurie rocking pretty hard as Dr. Cockroach (THE FLY). And I’m told that the film is much more watchable the first time through if you see it in 3-D. I’ve seen some of the 3-D at BNAT, and it was solid stuff, but having seen it in 2-D, I can tell you there’s little to marvel at on the screen in that format.
All told the film is a pretty mediocre affair. It will definitely give mom and dad something to look at while the kids are having a ball, but it isn’t something they’ll be eager to go back to a few more times. But it is ALMOST there. If only they’d run it through another punch up pass or two and added a bit more depth to the other monsters, then perhaps they would have had the movie this seemed to promise. It isn’t a deeply flawed movie, there’s never a bad moment here. There just aren’t many good ones.
Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em.
Massawyrm
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Does Seth Rogen's character still say boobies?
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This movie looks funny, I'll judge for myself.
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it's something that my kids will enjoy.
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Is there some kinda story behind that? It sounds more interesting than this movie at least.
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But Seth ROgan will happily take a paycheck for this crap? Jonah Hill should have taken his payday rather than listen to Rogen who is not taking his own advice ( cover of Playboy?...Green Hornet? ) Give me a break
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Can there be any less interesting thing to say about a movie than this? "MacGuyver would make a good movie if done right." "That could be a good joke if they do it right." ANYTHING COULD BE GOOD IF DONE RIGHT. Have a little more creativity than me and tell me what "done right" actually *means*.
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Punch up is the problem with these soulless piles of shit Dreamworks keeps flinging at us. Why not create a good story instead of decorating it with fart jokes, pop references and celebrity voices that cheapen and intsantly date the movie? The suits are in charge.
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Mar 27, 2009 11:32:06 AM CDT
"I’ve seen some of the 3-D at BNAT, and it was solid stuff"
by britbloke916
I see what you did there :)
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It had to be said...
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zone.aintitcool.com/index.php
You can discuss movies, music, and your mother. -
Damn Dreamworks.
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Kung Fu Panda was a great movie...everything else that came from that studio...not so much!
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Has the AICN message boards really dried up that much that you guys come here asking talkbackers to join?
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That's what makes modern animated films the classics they are.
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not at the box office but with quality. Dreamworks is a great cash cow but when are people going to grow tired of constant formula of fart jokes and funny accents- I'm sure this film has plenty
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...Of being a movie geared towards kids? WHAT?!?! It's NOT Citizen Fuckin Cain? DAMN THEM!!! DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL!!! Seriously, Massa... Switch to Decaf. Besides being a total non-review (lacking almost every important element you should remember from writing book reports in 8th grade), all this review tells me is that you personally disliked the film. You come off as either, a.) A bitter, failed writer or, b.) A Humorless Dick.
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a poor review from Massawyrm is usually the sign of a quality film. i mean, really, who on earth could rate the lame Kung Fu Panda over the average but funny in places at least Madagascar 2?
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Citizen Kane.
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by TheBlackKnight.
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You're totally right, dude. Sorry about that! Been re-watching BSG: RAZOR and didn't recognize the slip I made (Cain for Kane)...
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Misspelled 'Unconscionable.' A little light on sleep this week; I'm normally a better editor than this.
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...is obviously a studio plant! I mean, with lines like "family friendly" and "empowerment film"...come on! Who really writes like that?! Get out of here Planty McPlantenstein!!
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Deal.
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Were the Bruno plants pulled because of too much homophobia in the talkbacks or because they were plants?
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Reese strikes again by being in another **meh** film. She's really turning out to be the female version of Burt Reynolds......a good film every now and then, but mostly garbage.
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"It's not that isn't bad. . . it just isn't good." That was the entire review. Sheesh!
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Mar 27, 2009 1:51:05 PM CDT
trailer looks good. Kung Fu Panda had generic characters too
by bmacsmith
I liked Kung Fu Panda for the awesome animation sequences, but the characters were as one dimensional and uninteresting as any other Dreamworks animation. That movie gets a little too much creit for what is basically just a fun kids action movie. I think i'll give this one a shot an expect the same.
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Massawyrm is a member of the spill group along with Korey, Leon, Cyrus and Co Host 3000 his name there is Carlyle under his profile his porno name is Massawyrm
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What have you been smoking dude?! I took my two young ones to this a couple of hours ago, and it was GREAT! They loved it, and I thought it was a hell of a lot of fun! My kids wont sit through a movie if it's boring, and they were glued to the screen the whole time. This film will have a really good weekend.
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I still can't bring myself to watch it. I know a lot of people say it's good... but just LOOK at the damn thing. Fat Panda. Funny animals. Dreamworks. Blah. Maybe someday I'll watch it and be pleasantly surprised.
I'll probably catch Monsters vs Aliens if it's playing 3d locally, because my girlfriend wants to. -
Bolt was a boring piece of shit, made only barley watchable by the gerbil
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its forgettable.
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Awesome movie in 3D.
Also very, very funny. The laughs were genuine and not the usual Dreamworks pop reference jokes.
Honestly what film did he see. -
..though im guessing the 3D does make a difference in a movie like this. i think whats wrong is that this is a B movie monsters/aliens action movie first, comedy second. and the action in 3D, especially the golden gate bridge stuff and things going on on the spaceship at the end, were very well done and orchestrated for 3D, so i can see where watching it in 2D would make it all seem.. well.. flat. see id say only see this if you can see it in 3D.
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Mar 27, 2009 4:14:05 PM CDT
Massa seems to review how he felt that day instead of the movie
by bmacsmith
Massa seems to review how he felt that day instead of the movie. he never really gives any reason for hating/loving something, just that he did. A lot of his reviews have lines like "this and that were done really well, but i just didn't like it" or "its just like in that other movie, only boring." that doesn't help me.
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Massa nailed it. This movie is the very definition of average. it has a very clever premise that could've been something special but the jokes are too few, the characters too slight, there's no heart and the subplot with rudd sucks and feels out of place. can't believe katzenberg was hyping this up so much. the 3D looked good but wasnt used to satisfying effect anyway. save your money. bolt, kung fu panda and wall-e were all better last year.
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Just got back from seeing it with my girlfriend, and we both liked it. It is a bit "run-of-the-mill" modern animation, but the 3D was the best I've seen in a film so far. This film couldn't have been done without the use of it, there are so many levels of scale between Ginormica(50' woman), Insectisaurus (mothra) and the scenes themselves that the 3D was almost required to give a true sense of the scale.
It was an enjoyable film, if you have any interest in anything that is 3D then definitely see this at least for that, it's worth it. -
Mar 27, 2009 4:51:13 PM CDT
I'D RATHER SEE CAT SHIT ONE THEN MOSTERS VS. ALIENS!!!FACT!!!
by thefuckingcreepythinman
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Granted, following the wonderful Kung Fu Panda, this backslides a bit, but not nearly to the Shark Tale/Madagascar/Over The Hedge levels of mediocrity one would expect. The pop culture jokes are the lamest parts (and, honestly...ANOTHER "Axel F" keyboard gag following Space Chimps?), and the film doesn't have a lot of "heart", but it's fairly amusing, well-designed, and the 3D frigging ROCKS. As someone who grew up on Harryhausen and Godzilla movies, anything with giant characters smashing a cityscape is okay by me. And am I alone in thinking Ginormica was HOT in that stretched-out wedding down? Yow...
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HARVEY KEITEL VS VIETNAM VS THE UNITED STATES OF TARA VS THE ARMIES OF GILBOA VS THEFUCKINGCREEPYTHINMAN VS GREMLINS VS MEGATRON VS EVERYONE YOU'VE EVER KNOWN VS THE FANBASE OF "LOST" VS MY NICOTINE ADDICTION VS YOU VS YOUR MOM
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Mar 27, 2009 5:43:44 PM CDT
So Massa apparently needs a "happy ending" to like a movie
by soylentmean
Granted, the movie isn't on par with Kung Fu Panda (and I seriously think that was somewhat of a fluke over at Dreamworks Animation), but this movie is a solid origin story for one character and a nice introduction to the others.
I saw it in 2-D today and am looking forward to seeing it again in 3-D.
I hope they do an Insectosaurus short for the DVD, because that was one cool character. I wanted to see more of him destroying Tokyo.
There's potential (if this movie is successful) for this to be another non-Shrek franchise for Dreamworks and I hope they do at least one more. We don't need the setup, we just need more Monster action.
Oh, and next time Massa, you want to head over to that seedy little massage parlor downtown. Ask for the "special". You'll leave as happy as you'll ever be.
Skip the movies, you don't seem to like 'em all that much. -
First, the previews are jumbled nonsense, you can't tell who stars in it, and the animation doesn't look great. Sorry.
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(( Reese strikes again by being in another **meh** film. )) That being said -- any time, any place, Reese. I'm not shy if you aren't. :-)
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Bolt was so much more fun, had more warmth, and more of a goddamn point than that crappy ET lookalike it's tragic. All I got for my money with Wall*E was bored and offended. I got a nice surprise with Bolt - as I did with Kung Fu Panda. I wish Bolt had won an Oscar, but you know, there was no wonkish environmental message so the pooch got screwed.
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Man, imagine the illusion of blasted evil Muslim camel guts coming outta the screen at you. My idea of heaven.
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Anyone see Cold Mountain?
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... I was afraid Kung Fu Panda was going to be.
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best animated movie of last year, but Coraline is one of the best ever.
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Or were you thinking of Renee Zellweger?
Also, serious BOLT lover here. I went into that movie expecting *nothing* and I ended up loving it. Though I liked WALL-E, it would've been nice if the not-so proverbial underdog took home the gold. -
Definitely worth seeing in 3-D, but I agree that it was short on the laughs. I was especially surprised at Colbert's character, which was pretty much pointless (he's funnier every night on his TV show). Rogen had most of the laughs and Laurie's voice-over work was great, but hopefully not the best animated film we'll see this year. My 9 year-old loved it, and I thought it was worthwhile just on great visuals. But not in the team photo with Wall-E, Kung Fu Panda, or the Incredibles.
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You're kidding me, right? I fell asleep twice in that flick. What tepid, boring drivel.
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Yes, films like the Incredibles and to a certain extent Kung Fu Panda, are better (and then there are things like Monster Inc and Wall-E), because they work for pretty much all generations, age groups. But I took two 6 year olds and they liked it. Loved it? Nah. But the '50s send up was mildly amusing. Colbert's Prez was pushing it, though.
So Massa, if you didn't, next time take your kids (do you have any?) or take some friends w/ kids. -
good.
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Can't believe I'm defeating Madagascar, but as a parent, and having had seen them both 800 millions types...yep, Panda is ok, but Madagascar is a solid film...Madagascar 2 however is aweful, unwatchable...so terrible!
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Because one sounds like a pretty hot and heavy game of Risk and one sounds like bullshit.
Guess which one. -
not a gerbil. Gotta stick up for the rodents. They hate that "they all look the same" shit.
Oh and Bolt is the better movie, hands down. -
For a Second time, and I still think its a very funny movie. I rank Dreamworks: Over The Hedge, Fu Panda, Bee Movie and then nothing else because nothing else they've done is worth seeing. I don't know why more people didn't like Bee Movie, yeah it was typical Dreamworks big star to be the voice actor, but at least Jerry wrote the movie.
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are pretty much one note jokes that never quite get fully developed. Ummmmm???? How's this make it different then Kung Fu Panda then?
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Yeah because he was SO important in the Spiderwick Chronicles and Horton Hears a Who, and the two lines he had in Kung Fu Panda were...um there. Yeah he's fucking great.
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reese Renee. Who knows.
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KING of the 3-D animated punch up.
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Is probably one of the worst films I've ever seen. Compounded onto that I've seen Steve 'Spaz' Williams masterpiece, The Wild, and you have probably the two worst kids films since...Shark Week..No Finding Nemo 2..whatever that fucking Will Smith Finding Nemo rip off was called. The only thing Madagascar had going for it is that they beat Disney to the punch. Also have you ever seen any of the stars talking about Madagascar on late shows? You can tell the only reason they did it was for the money. I have not seen Madagascar 2, I want to though just because its written by the guy who co-wrote Tropic Thunder and Idiocracy. They I have very little hope.
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And Dreamworks makes a passable movie you'll love it more. I bet seeing a movie that your kids went NUTS over and that you DIDN'T hate probably make it that much more enjoyable. I mean because how many bad kids movie have you sat through, then one comes along and its mildly entertaining that probably makes it that much better.
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Mar 27, 2009 11:55:19 PM CDT
Notice how there's not many reviews of this movie on the site?
by tophat
Its because the movie sucks and the poeple here know it. But, they're not going to write any reviews because its a "Tru-D" movie, and Harry & co. want Tru-D to succeed no matter what. They did the same thing for CARS; obviously one of the lesser Pixar movies ever made, but, no negative reviews, why? Because Harry & co. are batshit in LOVE with Pixar, and won't post negative reviews, unless they can spin said review to make seem less negative. Fact is, the movie is just the same crap Dreamworks has been producing, but, since its a children's movie and is in imax Tru-D we're supposed to give it a free pass (Read some of the Talkbacks here, they're already making excuses: "Its a KIDS movie!", "The 3-D was good", etc.). And that's exactly what the studios want, excuses for making the same stories, themes, and characters again and again. Because, that's what you do when you're selling a product, convince the consumer they're buying something new and different when in reality they're just buying a variation of something they already have. Tru-D and imax are just tools for the studio to acheive this. And its working. Again, read the comments here. This is just a kids movie. Its in 3-D. Here, take my money. Go on, take it! People should read Roger Ebert's review of this movie. Like it or not, he gives the most accurate description of it. His father got to grow watching the Disney classics. Our children get to grow up watching expensive pop-culture references.
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What do monsters have against Mexicans?
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They can be trained to resist it.
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You cheap hollywood fucks need to invest in imax. Let me ask you what had the bigger box office, The Dark Knight, or Journey To The Center Of The Earth. By the way, half the people I know were tricked into seeing Watchmen thinking it was a legitimate Imax flick.
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...You have to be either a retard or a computer animation buff to enjoy Wall E or Kung Fu Panda, so no need to argue about them. If you are under the age of ten, I apologise for calling you a retard.
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See it again in 3-D Massa. You won't be disappointed.
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Mar 28, 2009 3:16:48 AM CDT
I saw it with 80 coworkers, and we all thought it was funny
by dreamwriter
Had some great little jokes here and there that you had to really pay attention to get. And everyone had at least a couple jokes that really made em break out laughing. And yes, the 3D was amazing, and only seemed gimmicky a couple times (like right at the very first scene).
One interesting thing is how accurately the movie portrays San Fransisco - they didn't just put in some generic backgrounds and throw in the Golden Gate Bridge, you could actually recognize the different neighborhoods. -
"The 3-D looks great". That's all that matters now. As long as the technology is good and there's some funny moments, the movie's a success. Goodbye great films. Just throw a bunch of money and technology at mediocre movies, and you got positive feedback. Hey, all you Wallstreet guys who've gotten fired, come work in Hollywood. Trust me, its the exact same thing. Spend, spend, spend.
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That's one of the few times I've seen one of these kid's CGI flicks and couldn't even muster a smile, save for the penguins. That movie was terrible!
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It was basically a "wank in a sock" flick for all the animation lovers.
Shite.
But then Kung Fu Panda was shite as well, mainly because Jack Black is a massive annoying fucktard. -
Ive informed the powers that be here, but no postings yet http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/tvandradioblog/2009/mar/26/red-dwarf-back-earth PLus new websites with stuff on them for you to figure out lol http://www.listerscominghome.co.uk/ http://www.ouroboroscrate.co.uk/ Enjoy!
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Mar 28, 2009 12:21:43 PM CDT
"I saw it with 80 coworkers, and we all thought it was funny"
by christian_bale_trashed_my_lights
I can only assume that you work for Dreamworks because (a) your name here is Dreamwriter and (b) there's no other way in hell you'd go to a screening with eighty coworkers.And, if you're really not a plant, then did you ask all eighty for their opinions?
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I watched Bolt and enjoyed it, but it had no heart and no emotion. If you're over the age of ten and you think it was a better film than Wall-E you are a certifiable idiot. That is not to say Wall-E wasn't overrated, or that it wasn't trying to push environmentalism just a bit too hard, but it is damn near incontrovertibly a number of levels above Bolt.
Can't comment on Kung Fu Panda, though, I enjoyed the first 20 minutes or so in theatres and then passed out because I was so baked. -
Still haven't found time to watch it, even though I bought it the first week it was out. Every time I think about watching it, I always think, "I don't feel like a lecture on the terrible ways of mankind tonight." As for M vs.A, I'm going to the cinema tomorrow night for this one.
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There, I said it.
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I said it!
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maintaining the rage against genuinely good films...
what a sorry bunch of cunts u r -
...I haven't seen any genuinely good films mentioned in this talkback. What talkback are you refering to?
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I thought the concept sounded interesting but I really did dislike that movie. There were a couple of funny parts but overall I didn't care for it.
I've been reading mixed reviews on Monsters Vs. Aliens. And again I like the concept of this one but i'll judge it after I see it. -
It is a possible great premise, but falls flat. the voice work is good, especially Sutherland, but the story is weak and rips off Mars Attacks, Independance Day and Dr Strangelove. Best character was Insectosaurus who said little.
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Pixar just runs rings around this film. Mediocre and not very funny. You know, for kids!
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Just saw it. Fucking great flick. A ton of fun. Laughed the whole way through. Did it have some pathetic moral message that's so obvious and in your face that a retard gets it? Nay. And thank God for that. You know, it IS okay every now and again for an animated film to be just...just...just...fun. Boring? omfg.
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It was entertaining for about the first half-hour, and then it was like Pixar thought: oh my god there's gotta be a POINT to all this!!! and then they stuck in all that lame human-have-killed-the-planet shite. You know what? I've heard all this crap before, oh my god the ozone layer has holes in it, and then oh wow the holes are actually *shrinking*, and hey watch out we greedy humans are gonna overpopulate the planet by 2000, and then oh wow it didn't happen, and by this time not only am I bored by the bullshit "science" I'M NOT EVEN BEING ENTERTAINED. You treehuggers realize that the head of the frickin Weather Channel says that Al Gore is full of puppy dung, right? No? Well, I'm here to help.
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Oh and I loved Wall-E and Kung-Fu Panda equally. Anyone who thinks one is superior to the other can eat a bag of cocks for lunch. Peace Out!
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..have that where you live? Jaze-US! Ever hear of Weird Al? Nevermind.
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Would everybody stop comparing Wall-E, Bolt, and Kung Fu Panda. Cause the filmmakers weren't, they are three different genres of film all together, only unified by animation, family friendliness, and in two cases, partner companies. Here's what it is: Kung Fu Panda was funny and full of action, check: Bolt was funny and emotional (if you don't get emotional about a little girl losing her dog your a fucking monster), check: Wall-E was funny, smart and poignant, check. Also I weigh 255 lb, and was in no way offended by Wall-E, why, because I'm not a complete idiot. Comparing these three movies so combatively is like comparing Tenacious D and Flight of the Conchords, sure they do things similiarily but they are completely different animals that cannot be forced to fight one another for superiority. But comparing Wall-E to Bolt or KFP, come on, if they both weren't animated this wouldn't even be a topic of discussion. So everyone who's arguing just for the sake of arguing...their called boobs, grab some, smile and get on with your life.
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It was aggressively mediocre. It didn't fail spectacularly at any given point, but it didn't try to go beyond what was merely passable. I share the frustration of such lost potential. Given it's making money hand over fist (if the first weekend's numbers don't collapse) it will probably spawn a sequel or two. Hopefully they'll take the opportunity to work out a film that truly capitalizes on all that great potential. Massa's right in that if done well, this concept had every chance to be the next "Incredibles", but it seems Dreamworks seems to be of the mindset that Pixar has cornered the market on great storytelling, and that it's niche is in the mediocre range and that they should be happy with that as long as they're making money. Well, Pixar still makes money, and they do it with consistently good-to-great storytelling.
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