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Way Cooler Than Anything In Either ALIEN VS. PREDATOR Film...

Merrick here...
These images have, evidently, been making the rounds for a few weeks - but didn't get much notice until they were posted on Ads of the World (HERE). The shots were developed by an ad company called DDB in New Zealand (HERE) to promote AVP airings on SKY TV (HERE). I checked SKY's schedule and I believe SKY was specifically airing AVP: REQUIEM, but I might be wrong in my inference. Here are the ads. They are super nifty. They are...

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  • March 17, 2009, 11:05 a.m. CST

    That is funny......

    by Toby Wan

    kinda like the Hellboy Directv ad a little while back. Good stuff.

  • March 17, 2009, 11:05 a.m. CST


    by ABking


  • March 17, 2009, 11:06 a.m. CST


    by McFlyWalker


  • March 17, 2009, 11:07 a.m. CST

    Oops....back to school I go!

    by McFlyWalker

  • March 17, 2009, 11:09 a.m. CST

    That pretty much sums up the current state of those franchises.

    by Mr. Nice Gaius


  • March 17, 2009, 11:09 a.m. CST

    I'm printing these suckers out . . .

    by Royston Lodge

    ... and posting them on the wall of my cubicle!

  • March 17, 2009, 11:12 a.m. CST

    Stop reminding us of those two epic failures!

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    For the love of gawd, stop it!!!<p>Damn you, Paul WS Anderson, and damn you too, Strause Brothers! You totally killed and fucked up two of the most brilliant franchises in movie history.<p>Fuck you all!

  • March 17, 2009, 11:16 a.m. CST

    Everyone notice how I didn't scream....

    by Toby Wan

    First? It is because I am a bad ass mutha fucka and don't give a shit about silly things like that.

  • March 17, 2009, 11:19 a.m. CST

    Predators playing poker?

    by Stuntcock Mike

  • March 17, 2009, 11:20 a.m. CST


    by spud mcspud

    I'd still whup both their asses at swingball. Seriously. I am fucking IMMORTAL at that game. I cannot be stopped.

  • March 17, 2009, 11:22 a.m. CST

    One would think...

    by Judge Briggs

    That someone would have to try VERY hard to fuck up an Alien vs. Predator movie...

  • March 17, 2009, 11:22 a.m. CST

    We need AVP3

    by scnjedi

    But set it in space, and make it like Aliens crossed with Predator with a slight dash of the first Starship Troopers for good measure.

  • March 17, 2009, 11:23 a.m. CST

    These are better then the films.

    by Judge_Dredd

    Fuck you Paul W.S Anderwank

  • March 17, 2009, 11:23 a.m. CST


    by HebrewLantern

    pawn to king five!

  • March 17, 2009, 11:24 a.m. CST

    You know what isn't cool?


    David Prowse has cancer.....

  • March 17, 2009, 11:25 a.m. CST

    Dammit Stuntcock Mike

    by skimn

    You stole my idea.

  • March 17, 2009, 11:28 a.m. CST

    We need AVP3

    by Acquanetta

    And it needs to be exactly like these photos.

  • March 17, 2009, 11:28 a.m. CST

    Is it just me...

    by Knuckleduster

    ... or does it look like that Alien has a thing for Mr. Predator?

  • March 17, 2009, 11:28 a.m. CST

    Toby Wan

    by Morte_Bea_Arthur

    It would have been cooler if you hadn't posted about it later.

  • March 17, 2009, 11:30 a.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    Maybe we can use this TB to once more hate on AvP: Rectum, just in case Fox is lurking here, seeing which way the wind is blowing in Geek Nation regarding a new chapter in the series.

  • March 17, 2009, 11:30 a.m. CST

    Predator would destroy Alien in chess

    by walrusholder

  • March 17, 2009, 11:31 a.m. CST

    the top game

    by sokitome

    I thought the first game was Zim Zam. At least that's what it was called back in my ancient times.

  • March 17, 2009, 11:32 a.m. CST

    Hello new wallpaper!

    by themasterofnonsense

  • March 17, 2009, 11:37 a.m. CST

    So the aliens only own barstools?

    by Arcadian Del Sol

    whats with the handlebars up and down the back? What kind of development process would generate THOSE unwieldy things?

  • March 17, 2009, 11:40 a.m. CST

    the chess one would make a nice wallpaper

    by Bouncy X

  • March 17, 2009, 11:42 a.m. CST

    Aint it ANTI news

    by ricarleite

  • March 17, 2009, 11:43 a.m. CST

    There are only 3 Alien films.

    by kwisatzhaderach

    Alien: Resurrection, AVP and AVP: Requiem never happened.

  • March 17, 2009, 11:44 a.m. CST

    Dogs Playing Poker...

    by mharrison7070

    or Aliens Playing Pool? Nice.

  • March 17, 2009, 11:45 a.m. CST

    That's allot of work for such shitty films.

    by ELGordo

    Just sayin.

  • March 17, 2009, 11:46 a.m. CST

    AVP Calender 2010

    by skimn

    I'm sure some enterprising individual could come up with 12 of these illustrations and market a calender. Or maybe an A heart P calender, with picnics, and canoe rides, etc.

  • March 17, 2009, 11:49 a.m. CST

    Alien 3 didn't happen either

    by Domi'sInnerChild

    A planet covered with lice? A prison colony the company would support just because they found religeon? A miliary ship taken out by an electrical fire (no halon in the future?)? An escape crap that immediately crashes on the nearest planet and kills most of the passengers? The alien kills all the potential hosts, just because (not hungry, not threatened, etc.)? As bad as Resurrection was, it wasn't as insulting or disappointing as Alien: Gleaming the Cube.

  • March 17, 2009, 11:50 a.m. CST

    Why didn’t they just film the initial comic book series…?

    by mr sulu

    They HAD to make AvP as the fans wanted it bad but it should’ve been set post Alien 3 or 4 in space on the alien planet seen in the first run of the comic books...(in fact ideally they shouldve made AvP instead of Alien 4 in the late 90s as that sucked)...instead of taking place earth present day in the arctic... <p> it was all there on the page all storyboarded out!...yeah i know fans will have read it but they used story elements of it in Andersons AvP they film novel and graphic novels all the time (Watchmen etc etc) and people still wanna see them <p> Much of the eerieness of the 1st Alien film is that the creature was totally alien...but it turns out there was an aliens dancing about on earth all along and one is now living at the bottom of the sea..kinda undermines Alien 1 dosnt it...meh <p> plus they shouldve just left it as a one off - not done the atrocious AvP 2...they couldve gone ahead with Scott and Camerons Alien 5 (or 4 if AvP had been done instead of the crummy Alien Resurection) and done a Predator 3<p> what a simple task royally *beep* ed up

  • March 17, 2009, 11:53 a.m. CST


    by kwisatzhaderach

    The title sequence of Alien 3 had more artistry in it than the whole of Alien: Resurrection. Two words about the Jeunet fiasco: The Newborn.

  • March 17, 2009, 11:54 a.m. CST

    A L I E N S v STAR TREK!!

    by mr sulu <p> a Trek v Aliens comic would make a lot more sense than some

  • March 17, 2009, 11:56 a.m. CST

    these are seriously awesome

    by quadrupletree

    Love em. I want to hang them on my wall. I think they should do one where they're all playing poker like the dogs...

  • March 17, 2009, 11:58 a.m. CST

    Yep that was way better then AvP

    by Xiphos_2

    by a whole lot.

  • March 17, 2009, noon CST


    by Lost Jarv

    what is this horseshit you speak of? Nobody would be dumb enough to assrape Alien like that. Surely?

  • March 17, 2009, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Aliens vs Predator 2

    by AgentCross

    All they need to do is adapt the video game and it would be great. It had a good plot and a lot of Colonial Marine/Predator/Xenomorph action.

  • March 17, 2009, 12:07 p.m. CST

    AVP 2 was

    by Tell_Your_Mom_I_Said_Hi

    Fucking retarded. Black on black on black on black = not always good. Unless, we're talkin about hot chicks.

  • March 17, 2009, 12:07 p.m. CST


    by BlueHawaiiSurfer

    Does anyone who watched anything after ALIENS think this franchise is worth a shit?!?! Smell reality, you are out of it, lol.

  • March 17, 2009, 12:09 p.m. CST

    AvST link no work - delete space in Ga lleryRoom

    by mr sulu

    and it shud work...dunno why it wont post right - cant figure that TinyURL thing out

  • March 17, 2009, 12:12 p.m. CST

    the last one...

    by Varakor

    (the one where they are playin chess) done by Robot Chicken. but these pics are hella kewl.

  • March 17, 2009, 12:12 p.m. CST

    Are they ripping off Alien Loves Predator?

    by DerLanghaarige

    Y'know, that crazy webcoming that's been around for years? Cool pictures anyway.

  • March 17, 2009, 12:14 p.m. CST

    There would be life to this "franchise"...

    by vic twenty

    If FOX had adapted any of the Dark Horse comix. Ongoing series or one-shots, they captured the spirit of the early Alien or Predator films better than any of the recent travesties.

  • March 17, 2009, 12:15 p.m. CST

    Once again.

    by Lost Jarv

    Alien 3 is underrated. Just because Fincher didn't rehash Aliens or keep newt alive doesn't mean that it was bad.

  • March 17, 2009, 12:18 p.m. CST

    The only way to do ALIEN VS. PREDATOR now is a comedy

    by SpyGuy

    Both franchises have become such jokes so you might as well play it up. Maybe mash it up with RED VS. BLUE while you're at it.

  • March 17, 2009, 12:21 p.m. CST

    Coming soon to Fox.. 2 Predators and an Alien

    by V'Shael

    Starring Charlie Sheen.

  • March 17, 2009, 12:23 p.m. CST


    by supercowbell4therequestformorecowbell

  • March 17, 2009, 12:26 p.m. CST

    Id still like to see AvP 3 if possible

    by mr sulu

    as i said it wouldve been good to have seen an AvP set in space around the time of the Alien films - the first 3 set in the 22nd century that is - not the turgid 4th set in the 24th century (hey maybe clone Ripley will run into Captain Picard LOL)....and have colonial marines caught up in all the s hit <p> that could make for a decent AvP be well up for another AvP film proving it was like that and had a decent director like the Pitch Black/Riddick dude...actually heres a thought - what about Vin Disel as the head guy in the Colonial Marines? im not his biggest fan but maybe hed be ok as a Dutch/Apone type guy in the Marines...hed lend the film some (moderate) star power (something the other 2 didnt have) plus his career has been on the slide ever since his Pitch Black/Fast and the Furious double whammy at the beginning of the decade when he was mooted as the next maybe hed do it especially if the Riddick guy directed

  • March 17, 2009, 12:26 p.m. CST

    Down the pike...

    by Kid Z

    ...Watchmen Vs. Hancock. Keantu Vs. Speed Racer. And Zack Snyder Vs. Brian Singer for the title of World's Gayest (and Lamest) Director.

  • March 17, 2009, 12:28 p.m. CST

    Fanboy Bullshit

    by timmer33

    I've come to realize that these movies --- and movies like everything from Watchmen to Snakes on a Plane --- are simply garbage product made by fanboys FOR fanboys and don't amount to much at all. Because fanboys are so damn vocal everyone thinks they represent a massive portion of the audience, when in fact they're just a minor segment of the viewing public. How else do you explain the lack of an audence for Snakes on a Plane, despite the massive amount of enthusiasm for it on sites like this? Or the 70% drop for Watchmen this past weekend? Or the absolutley atrocious AvP movies which people debated and discussed endlessly here. Sigh. It's getting frustrating. We are being delivered shit because that's all the fanboys ask for. Well, I expect more from movies. And for every one of you out there who is right now angrily getting ready to defend Watchmen, you're part of the problem. It was a creative and artistic film, but it was mediocre at best, boring, with poor acting and characterization, terrible casting, a distinct lack of logic and motivation, with a lame story and a terrible ending. I'm sorry, but most of the fans liked Watchmen because it represented a "success" that the filmmakers had in trying to get it to the screen. It represented fanboys winning out over studios. And yet, still, it wasn't a good film, and who suffers from it? WE DO. We all do. We need to demand more from the films we're getting, and stop the fanboy BS.

  • March 17, 2009, 12:32 p.m. CST

    AVP: Apocalypto

    by zinc_chameleon

    Set in on an Alien jungle planet, and have a seasoned Predator rescue his novice-hunter son from an Alien hive. Create an Alien Queen who intends to rid her planet of Predators, and Alien Warriors who figure out how to use Predator weapons. Do the whole thing in Yautja, and then have a massive Weyland-Yutani armada show up just when the Predator thinks he and his son are safe. There, that took five minutes, and it's better than either of the AVP attempts.

  • March 17, 2009, 12:37 p.m. CST

    Fucking great post that one.

    by Lost Jarv

    There is a good example of exactly what he's referring to in AvP:Rectum- The Predalien. <P>Who, apart from the most cretinous drooling fanboy cro-magnon thought that was a good idea? <P>And he's right about Turdmen, too.

  • March 17, 2009, 12:40 p.m. CST


    by BadlyDubbedPorn

    didn't them Strausse bros say they were going to set it on the Alien homeplanet with gigantic dinousaur like Aliens, then I heard that dick from Fox say Arnie wanted to do Predator 3 if he comes back to do a couple more movies?<p> Fuck it just get Cameron and Scott to DP Alien 5

  • March 17, 2009, 12:41 p.m. CST

    Add in Terminators, make it a Triple Threat Match!!!

    by turketron

    Just an all out brawl between the three races would be fuckawesome to behold. Skynet badass machines, Predators and all their technology, and Aliens with their sheer numbers... Of course you have to make it so that Skynet and the Preds can't just nuke the shit out of everything from a distance...

  • March 17, 2009, 12:41 p.m. CST

    Shit would almost be like Starcraft

    by turketron


  • March 17, 2009, 12:49 p.m. CST

    That first one is going to give me nightmares

    by Thunderbolt Ross

  • March 17, 2009, 12:54 p.m. CST

    This are 100 times better than those shit movies.

    by jimmy_009

  • March 17, 2009, 12:58 p.m. CST


    by TedKordLives

    C'mon, doesn't anybody still appreciate the drive-in movie anymore? I love that in this movie, anyone can die at anytime, and often does. I mean, the second death is a little kid, after watching his dad's chest explode. That's pretty balls out. It's not a good movie by any means, but Joe Bob Briggs would love it, and that's good enough for me.

  • March 17, 2009, 12:59 p.m. CST


    by TedKordLives

    Those ads are fucking hilarious. I might have to print out the billiards ad and laminate it for work.

  • March 17, 2009, 1:01 p.m. CST

    "Alien Loves Predator" is exactly what I was thinking, DerLangha

    by Hammer2Fall

    If anyone hasn't read this webcomic, you need to start now.

  • March 17, 2009, 1:06 p.m. CST


    by noncents

    I thought perhaps you would give us some SCI-FI entity that is unknown to the world, but you give us this trash.

  • March 17, 2009, 1:08 p.m. CST

    Screw you noncents

    by jimmy_009

    Sorry you hate the world, the feeling's mutual.

  • March 17, 2009, 1:09 p.m. CST

    That chess one is a masterpiece

    by jimmy_009

    and my new wallpaper.

  • March 17, 2009, 1:15 p.m. CST

    I hope the Alien in the pool game learns

    by Juggernaut125

    that smoking can kill you. Or else HE's gonna be in troulbe down the road.

  • March 17, 2009, 1:15 p.m. CST

    The headline is too vague

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    "Way Cooler than anything in either Alien vs. Predator film" has a lot, and I mean a lot of wiggle room. Having said that, these posters are classic. The brandy snifter is a nice touch of class.

  • March 17, 2009, 1:15 p.m. CST

    Love the pool shootin one . . .

    by adiehardfanwithalethalweapon

    Kinda reminds me of the dogs playing cards etc. now all they need to do is terminator and robocop. that'd be wicked.

  • March 17, 2009, 1:17 p.m. CST

    The title sequence of Alien 3 had more artistry?

    by Domi'sInnerChild

    Look, I like Fincher, but Alien 3 was terrible on too many levels. He couldn't even keep the Alien's size consistent from shot-to-shot. I don't see what was special about the intro. Brief clips that tell a stupid tale of a military ship being taken out by a small electrical fire that could have been extenguished by pumping out the air, halon, a large damp towel, not having anything to burn (ships appear mostly metal), etc. I could care less about killing Newt as well. They’d have to replace the actress and I hate kids in Sci-fi movies anyway. If anything, he should have killed her more graphically instead of wussing out in a title sequence. Look, the core problem is the Alien lacked motivation. If you don't realize that, it defeats the whole "I'm smart because I see the style of Alien 3 and enjoyed it trying to do something different" argument. Jaws: The Revenge tried to do something different and Jaws 3D tried a new visual style.

  • March 17, 2009, 1:19 p.m. CST

    Drives The Stake Through The Black Hearts of Aliens & Predators

    by Grinning White Skull

    When it reaches this level of parody the characters are dead as far as being effective big screen monsters or horror films. Time to throw them in the trash and create something new.

  • March 17, 2009, 1:20 p.m. CST

    Bizarro Chess

    by Spaceman Spliff

    Anyone else notice that black's moving first?

  • March 17, 2009, 1:20 p.m. CST

    terminator vs robocop vs predator vs alien vs the blob

    by walrusholder

  • March 17, 2009, 1:22 p.m. CST

    Pred and Alien- Real or CGI....

    by ThePilgrim

    Anyone know :)

  • March 17, 2009, 1:24 p.m. CST

    'Cretinous drooling fanboy cro-magnon'

    by J.B.M.A.

    Lost Jarv you are right on the money. AVP is made by idiots FOR idiots.<p> Nice adverts though.

  • March 17, 2009, 1:28 p.m. CST

    Fox needs to make sequels

    by IndyAbbey Jones

    for the time being forget the Avp franchise, while a third one might work, i'd rather see a predator the and an alien 5. P3 would be similar to the first one, set it in modern times in the jungle about a bunch of marines hunting down a predator, have it have connections to the first one in that the main character (dwayne johnson) was a student of for A5 just bring back ridley scot or james cameran and let them do what they want, even if it means retconing 3 and 4

  • March 17, 2009, 1:32 p.m. CST

    If they had only adapted the Dark Horse

    by seagrass

    Aliens comic series (the first 3), they would have had a fantastic end to the series: the Aliens take over Earth, and then Ripley and friends go to the Alien homeworld and wipe them out as payback. There was no need to kill Hicks and Newt (Drew Barrymore would have made a great grown-up Newt, by the way)

  • March 17, 2009, 1:45 p.m. CST

    Alien v Predator v Popeye the sailor man

    by mr sulu

    it would work...AND YA FACKIN KNOW IT aheheheheheheeheh *popeye laugh*

  • March 17, 2009, 1:52 p.m. CST


    by Youngdog

    It looks like the Alien in the swingball shot aquired some host characteristics from Alan Carr. Oh and fuck Rupert Murdoch

  • March 17, 2009, 1:59 p.m. CST

    MY_BLUE_PENIS - Prowse is facing it like

    by FamousEccles

    a champion - making it all about raising money for the hospital.

  • March 17, 2009, 2:01 p.m. CST


    by TedKordLives

    Big smoker, right?

  • March 17, 2009, 2:03 p.m. CST


    by Youngdog

    Post a link if you have it. Would like to contribute. Lost my dad last year. Fuck cancer too

  • March 17, 2009, 2:07 p.m. CST

    Way awesome!

    by UltimateNicheDirectory

    And yes, far better than either of those 2 "movies" combined.

  • March 17, 2009, 2:10 p.m. CST

    Alien and Predator could still possibly be rescued...

    by TurdontheRun

    If the Batman series could pull itself so spectacularly out of the crapper in the last few years, then it can still be done with the Alien series. I don't imagine Sir Ridley will even be still alive (morbid, but realistic) by the time this could possibly swing around, but Cameron might possibly still do it. Maybe Fox will come crawling back to him after Avatar makes more loot than's in Warren Buffet and Bill Gates' combined bank accounts, ready to lick his balls in appeasement for their spectacular misjudgement in turning him and Scott down for alien 5 in favour of the cash grab avp crap. And hell, hasn't robert rodriguez expressed interest in a third predator? get him to do that, possibly with arnold starring if he returns to movies in 2011. <p>Oh wait...that's too much like common sense. AVP3, here we come!

  • March 17, 2009, 2:17 p.m. CST


    by 1978CreepyThinMan

    In the 1980's the Reagan Administration ushered in the widespread de-regulation and removal of anti-trust laws that were put in place after the Great Depression to prevent companies from monopolizing various industries and creating the type of TOO BIG TO FAIL companies that have now created the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression itself. In regards to the decline of North American cinema it’s like this. With the HUGE success of movies like Jaws and Star Wars various money grubbing Wall Street types moved into the Hollywood system and reshaped the major studio’s into Corporate entities where the goal was no longer to just make movies and inspire friendly competition the way that proper capitalism is supposed to work. No, Wall Street style capitalism is about increasing market share by buying out or killing off the competition so that a few people/companies control everything which is closer to communism if you think about it. So, how did they go about this? By buying off politicians they were able to first get rid of the tax shelters that allowed low budget independent filmmakers and studio’s to raise money from private investors. Without these tax shelters people like George A. Romero (Night of the Living Dead/Dawn of the Dead), Tobe Hooper (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Poltergeist), Sam Raimi (The Evil Dead and Spider-man Triologies), Brain DePalma (Carrie, Scarface, The Untouchables), Martin Scorsese (Taxi Driver/Raging Bull/Goodfellas), Francis Ford Coppola (The Godfather 1 & 2, Apocalypse Now) etc.. wouldn’t have been able to raise the money to make their first features. Canada offered a 100% tax shelter system for investment in movie production in the 70’s and that lasted until the 80’s. Without that Ivan Reitman (Meatballs/Stripes/Ghostbuster s) and David Cronenberg (The Fly/Naked Lunch/Crash) wouldn’t have been able to make their first films Cannibal Girls and Shivers respectively. Also, in the USA, before the deregulation and removal of the anti-trust laws, studios weren’t allowed to by up movie theatres or chains to create a monopoly. So what you had were thousands of theatres and theatre chains across North America and all those companies cared about was their box office revenue. So they would book anything that made money. If you made a low budget movie you could book it into a theatre and since the Motion Picture Association of America - MPAA was a joke back in those days you could show just about anything in theatres as in evidence of Deep Throat playing not just in porn houses but even in respectable theatres all across the country not to mention the grindhouses that played an endless stream of Horror and exploitation flicks day and night. If your movie was good and made money you could use that money to make more prints and advertise across the city, state or even the whole country if your movie was a hit. This is how AIP, Roger Corman and later New Line Cinema and Troma operated for decades, that is, until the 80’s. Now the deregulation/anti-trust laws removal (from here on in referred to as DR/ARL) wasn’t the only reason for the decline of audience attendance in the 80’s. VCR’s made it possible to rent movies and watch them from the comfort of your own home. As a result thousands of theatres and a few chains went under. Mostly these were the single venue style theatres with one screen where they would play double and triple bills and alternatively use the theatres for rock shows, stage productions etc… But the second thing was that after the DR/ARL, the major studios were allowed to buy up theatre chains and individual mom and pop theatres with the intent of shutting them down. The 1980’s saw the rise of the multi-plex, most of which were built by the major studios and a few other companies that operated such as Famous Players or Odeon Cinemas as an example up here in Canada. They were built with maximum comfort and convenience but had as much personality as your average McDonalds in comparison to a family operated restaurant. Now because these chains were all owned by corporations they would only do business with each other and book only each others movies as well as their own, effectively shutting out any independent studio’s or producers. By the late 80’s most of the independents had been killed off so now it was mostly the majors with the exception of a few studios that survived because they had highly profitable franchises (New Line and the Nightmare on Elm Street series) or they distributed some low budget independent, art-house and European films (Miramax with The Crying Game, El Mariachi, Resevoir Dogs etc…) to the single art-house theatres scattered across the country and because those movies made soo much money and received soo much national critical attention from Siskel & Ebert etc.. even the corporate owned theatre chains started booking them because money is still money. So how does the MPAA tie into this and the decline of balls out American Cinema? It’s because Hollywood is always the target of right wing mouthpiece’s and various religious organizations across the country as witnessed by the ridiculous uproar by the moral majority over movies such as Dogma, Kids, Natural Born Killers etc…. in the 90’s or if you really want to go back in time you could find examples of this with almost every single successful film made during the entire history of cinema that features any sort of violent or sexual content. Look up the Hays Code and watch some pre-code movies made in the 20’s and early 30’s and you’ll notice how much more violent, sexual and lurid movies like the original Scarface and Mystery of the Wax Museum were for the time and how North American cinema went through a period of melodramatic puritanism that lasted from the 30’s (with the exception of a few underground films) and only ended with the collapse of the studio system in the late 60’s which ushered in the most fertile era in American cinema history as a result of filmmakers being allowed to realistically and unrealistically portray sex, violence and real or not-so real life like never before. During this period the political and religious freaks bitched about all the sex and violence but their complaints didn’t catch any traction especially with all the political turmoil of the era and the fact that Government violence against it’s citizens (the Kent State shootings) and the global imperialism/war mongering (Vietnam) made Government criticisms of Hollywood on behalf of religious furor a moot point. After Jimmy Carter lost the presidency because he inherited the dismal economy of the post-Vietnam era and dared to tell America the truth, the American public stuck their heads up their collective asses and voted in an ex-actor who was the straight man to a chimp as President of the United States. But Ronald Reagan only got into power because the Republican Party aligned themselves with various snake oil salesmen such as Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Jimmy Swaggart and their mindless followers creating the Moral Majority movement of the 80’s of which it’s existence was to paper over all of the ugliness going on in the USA and promoted the fantasy that America was a land of rainbows, puppies and sold their bullshit with all the tenacity of a used car salesman selling a rusted out shitbox with a fresh paint job. This gave the religious right more power then they had in decades and made politicians live in fear for their political lives. Once again the religious freaks put their attention onto Hollywood because all of that sex and violence was polluting their Good Christian country. So they put the screws to politicians, mostly those from the Redneck States, who then came down on Hollywood and threatened to dismantle the major studio’s monopoly by reinstating those tax shelters and the DR/ATL. It’s at this point that the religious right gained almost complete control over what got shown in theatres across North America but they couldn’t implement their control in the style of the Hays code for fear of being labeled as CENSORS so they operated in virtual anonymity under the MPAA. It’s under this system that the MPAA and the major studio’s were able to kill off independents. The scam worked like this, you’re a low budget independent Director, Producer or Studio. You make money by making the type of movies that the majors don’t such as Horror and exploitation with outrageous sex and violence. The major studios are only interested in the only two types of movies they know how and want to make, glossy big budget extravaganzas and worthy Oscar winners. They think it’s beneath them to make Horror and exploitation films with gratuitous gore and sex except for when it’s being done by a major Hollywood actor, producer or director in which case the MPAA seems to have no problem with slapping the film with a family seal of approval R-rating. They used to distribute the occasional low budget shocker or sex flick, such as the Friday the 13th series which was distributed by Paramount or Porky’s which 20th Century Fox put out, but the ire of so called “respected” critics like Siskel & Ebert along with the political pressure from the religious right forced studio’s like Paramount/Fox to stop distributing low budget gore and sex flicks which is why they sold the F13th series to New Line while Fox eventually gave up on sex comedies. Anyway, you’re an independent Director, Producer, Studio who’s made “Teenage Lesbian Orgy in the Girls Locker Room of Gore” and you’re looking to distribute it. In the 70’s if the moves was good, or at the very least had plenty of entertaining sex and violence, you could put it out on a small scale and expand statewide and nationally if the movie is successful as I previously mentioned. The problem is that because the Reagan administration removed the DR/ANL, the studio’s now own 90% of the theatres across the country and won’t distribute your movie because it doesn’t have the Siskel & Ebert types across the country slobbering over it and they don’t want the headache of enraging the religious right. So what are your options? Well, there might be some small chains, mom and pop theatres that you could distribute to but there are issues when it comes to the rating of your movie and how that effects your ability to promote your epic. The situation is this, you take your magnum opus to the MPAA to get an R-Rating, now an R-Rating in the USA and the system itself is designed to censor without the appearance of censorship. An R-Rating means that no one under the age of eighteen can enter a particular movie without someone over the age of eighteen, BUT, the catch is that if you’re over eighteen you can bring anyone of any age into the theatre with you. That means that some dipshit eighteen year old, which DO exist and they are many, can bring a ten year old child into the theatre to see “Nudist Amazonian Warrior Interracial Dyke Cannibals of Sodomy” which will no doubt turn the impressionable ten year old into a peace-loving- gay-commie-pinko-liberal-Marxi st-serial killing-rapist-transexual-who- wants-Communist-socialist-Free -Health-Care-and-less-money-sp ent-on-the-military-to-finance -better-education-and-alleviat e-poverty-to-bring-about-a-new -age-of-Universal-utopia-which -will-allow-the-human-race-to- look-towards-the-stars-and-exp and-our-spieces-across-the-gal axy-for-eternity-untill-the-en d-of-creation….and that’s bad. So in order to Protect The Children™ and receive an R-rating the MPAA tells you to cut your film BUT they wont tell you what to cut because then they could be accused of censorship. They’ll just let you know when they see it. So you cut a few frames and trip a scene here or there and they tell you to keep cutting. You go back and forth until you scream in frustration about what else you need to fucking cut and they tell you that it’s not the footage as per say but the “tone” of it and how it’s this or that. The point is to get you to water down your movie until all its commercial elements (i.e. The Fucking and Killing) no longer exist and you have a movie that has an R-rating but won’t make a penny in theaters because your flick wasn’t that good to begin with and all you had was the nudity and gore. Now you could try to release it unrated which a lot of movies did up until the 80’s and many were highly successful such as Dawn of the Dead but that was when you had those independently owned theatre chains and mom & pop theatres that would play your movie even without a rating and you could still mount an advertising campaign to let the public know about your flick. Even in the 80’s there were still a few theatres left that would play un-rated movies the only problem is that with media consolidation all of the newspapers, TV stations and magazines were controlled by a few corporations and those corporations had political ties to the religious right etc, etc… so they would refuse to run advertisements of your un-rated movie and in those pre-internet days that meant that you were shit out of luck and no one would know about your masterpiece. The only other option was to tell the MPAA to fuck off and refuse to cut your movie in which case it would be given an X-Rating which effectively put it into the category of Pornography and no theatres would play it apart from porn houses and even those were being killed off by the VRC revolution of the 80’s. So without a means of finance, distribution or publicity this is how most of the independents went out of business in the 1980’s which is why North American cinema has been sliding into the shitter for the last quarter of a century as a result of corporate greed, religious fanaticism and political scumfuckery. Today not much has changed and it seems like a miracle when a good movie gets made and released in North America but they are few and far between. The great hope is the internet, on-line distribution and digital downloading but there are two main issues. The first is that without financing most independent movies today are shot on video cheapies that offer very little in the way quality scripts, production value or even competence although occasionally you get a good cheesy film like Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, The Janitor and Blood Car. The second problem is how do you make money off something that people can get on-line for free from torrent sites? The answer is to make a good movie against the odds and hope that people like your movie enough to want to buy the DVD but those odds are against you and as long as Hollywood maintains its corporate monopoly on national theatrical distribution, North American cinema will never recover.

  • March 17, 2009, 2:24 p.m. CST

    Did anyone read the last post? Because I didn't.

    by SpyGuy

    Dude, get a life.

  • March 17, 2009, 2:25 p.m. CST

    I love any Alien related talkback

    by Kief_Ledger

    because it ALWAYS turns into a flame war about the merits of Alien 3. Personally, I thought it was pretty shitty, because it really doesn't know what it wants to be; an action movie or a horror movie. It really isn't a scary film at all, and the end sequence with the hallways is confusing and boring. That's not to say that it had some good sequences, like the funeral and the scene with Ripley meeting the alien face to face, but overall the movie wasn't good.

  • March 17, 2009, 2:29 p.m. CST

    Would anyone else consider

    by Kief_Ledger

    Fox's choice of Alien Vs. Predator over the Cameron/Scott Alien 5 the worst studio choice of all time? Jesus Christ, can you imagine how hard that movie would've kicked our collective balls?

  • March 17, 2009, 2:31 p.m. CST

    C'mon Anderson...

    by otm shank

    Come and get the sternum punch I owe you for AVP. You can't hide forever bitch.

  • March 17, 2009, 2:37 p.m. CST


    by The_Exterminator

    but we need predator 3

  • March 17, 2009, 2:38 p.m. CST


    by 1978CreepyThinMan

  • March 17, 2009, 2:44 p.m. CST

    In short

    by DaBUU

    1978CreepyThinMan is saying that much like everything else these days, GREED killed the movies. Read the post for all y'all

  • March 17, 2009, 2:45 p.m. CST


    by DennisMM

    People might read it if you learned how to use ... <P> paragraph tags. They're simple. Just type (P) in between the lines you wish to separate, but replace ( and ) with < and >. <P> Then you will have a nicely formatted post that *might* be worth looking at.

  • March 17, 2009, 2:47 p.m. CST

    The Alien lacked motivation?

    by veebeeyes

    Dude, it's an ALIEN. It EATS people.

  • March 17, 2009, 2:49 p.m. CST

    another ad should show them "coming together"

    by Jesiah

    To make the Predalien. An ad like that would stop a lot of racial strife. You get to find someone's inner racist when they play Resident Evil 5. Ya'll know what I'm talkbackin about.

  • March 17, 2009, 2:50 p.m. CST

    That's cool DennissMM, let me try it..

    by Kid Z

  • March 17, 2009, 2:51 p.m. CST

    Dammit, hit return by mistake...

    by Kid Z

    Okay, here is paragraph one... (P) is paragraph 2.

  • March 17, 2009, 2:51 p.m. CST


    by DennisMM

    Actually, no, it doesn't. As created, the Alien killed to reproduce, creating a new egg with each victim. The Alien *lived* to reproduce actually, because that was all it did - kill, create new eggs, and eventually die off, apparently, when victims were no longer available. Then Cameron came up with the Queen, which screwed the wonderful Dan O'Bannon concept of the beast. Now Aliens just kill to kill, without apparent motivation except to protect the Queen.

  • March 17, 2009, 2:52 p.m. CST

    Nope... that sucks...

    by Kid Z

    ...clarify dude... clarify.

  • March 17, 2009, 2:52 p.m. CST


    by DennisMM

    the P needs to be surrounded by <>. I just couldn't type that, because putting the P in the middle inserts a paragraph break. You can't display a tag by typing a tag. Sucks, huh?

  • March 17, 2009, 2:54 p.m. CST


    by DennisMM

    Put an angled parenthesis on either side of the P, not the curved parenthesis. Not (P) but <, then P, then >.

  • March 17, 2009, 2:55 p.m. CST

    God, I hate HTML tags.

    by DennisMM

    Angled Parenthesis, P, closing angled Parenthesis. Make sense?

  • March 17, 2009, 3:09 p.m. CST

    If you like that you should also check this out

    by hurricaneandy

  • March 17, 2009, 3:10 p.m. CST

    Classy and I like that.

    by Proman1984


  • March 17, 2009, 3:11 p.m. CST

    More serious and thoughtful than the movies

    by wash

    Fuck Rothman.

  • March 17, 2009, 3:21 p.m. CST

    I still want AVP 3

    by WizardandGlass

    I've been trying to defend the first 2 movies for years now, even though deep down I know they're crap. But I still think they can make a part 3 that completely ignores everything from the existing movies. Considering the box office for AVP Requiem, it'll probably never happen. It's a drag what happened to this franchise...these are the 2 greatest creatures in sci-fi history, and now they're basically a joke to most of us. What a shame.

  • March 17, 2009, 3:27 p.m. CST

    NBC Presents Aliens VS. Child Predators.


    Hidden cameras reveal old pervs visiting what they think is a young girl's home. Only to be revealed as an Alien Hive!

  • March 17, 2009, 3:35 p.m. CST

    Ridley Scott - James Cameron team up is a pipe dream

    by successor

    <p>A lovely pipe dream to be sure, but I seriously doubt it'll ever happen. Both men are notorious perfectionists and Scott didn't even like what Cameron did with the aliens in the second film, turning them into bugs. Could you imagine the fights they would have? They'd be at each other's throats constantly about how to portray the aliens and whatever world they were on--their arguments might be more interesting to watch than the resultant film. It'd be like trying to get Magritte to work with Rembrandt. Both men have different styles, different ideas, different approaches. Simply put, I doubt they'd work well together--if at all.</p> <p>As for AvP3, why not just ditch the series altogether and come up with an original idea for a science fiction/horror film? Or if Hollywood is so lacking in new ideas these days, then go find a good novel or short story to adapt?</p>

  • March 17, 2009, 3:37 p.m. CST


    by MrMysteryGuest

  • March 17, 2009, 3:50 p.m. CST

    DennisMM - Aliens kill just kill

    by Domi'sInnerChild

    That didn't happen to the third film (with the possible exception of the Queen, I'm assuming she was trying to kill Ripley). All the Marines were treated as hosts and the ones that died were killed by explosions and their own weapons. It maintained the creepy design the set the franchise apart from other monster movies. Aliens 3 turned the franchise into Jason in a Rubber Mask with the Alien just running around killing helpless monks for no appearent reason other than to doom it's run on the planet (it even knew there was a queen bun in the oven in Ripley... of course it didn't coocoon her up or anything to keep her from wandering off and falling into molten lead pits).

  • March 17, 2009, 3:52 p.m. CST

    I want a CGI AVP film adapted from the 1st graphic novel

    by Monkey_King

    and produced by FOX. That would own if done right.

  • March 17, 2009, 3:52 p.m. CST

    Get Zack Snyder to film the comic where . . .

    by Royston Lodge

    . . . it takes place on a farming colony. That was my fave AVP comic.

  • March 17, 2009, 3:53 p.m. CST

    Regarding Alien 3.

    by Royston Lodge

    The only thing I didn't like about Alien 3 was the stupid-stupid-stupid sex scene. Totally superfluous and cheesy. Everything else about that movie was cinematic gold.

  • March 17, 2009, 3:57 p.m. CST

    Regarding the Alien queen fucking up the concept...

    by Royston Lodge

    I don't understand how the Alien queen makes the Aliens killers just for the sake of killing. They still need human hosts for the "larvae" to gestate. Queen lays egg. Egg hatches and face-hugger pops out. Face-hugger hunts down host. Face-hugger develops into mature Alien. Alien bursts forth from host. Makes sense to me. If Cameron decided to focus too much on the killing, that his mistake. But don't go blaming the poor Queen. She never did anything to YOU!

  • March 17, 2009, 4:03 p.m. CST

    If Terminator Salvation is any good...

    by Royston Lodge

    ...why not let McG take a crack at another Aliens or Predator or Aliens vs. Predator flick?

  • March 17, 2009, 4:05 p.m. CST

    I can't believe I was dying to see

    by FullBloodedScot

    an A VS. P film back in the 80's. Wait almost 20 years, and they fuck it up so bad? I used to hate the cunt Sigorney Weaver for holding up an A vs. P film. Man, time changes everything. Especially a geeks dream of cool franchise films.

  • March 17, 2009, 4:08 p.m. CST

    I think I figured out why Alien 3 didn't work for me.

    by Domi'sInnerChild

    Brits love Alien 3. Brits love Benny Hill. If you play the Benny Hill theme throughout Alien 3, it totally works. Especially after the ship explodes, the escape pod crashes, the explaination of the shaved heads being due to lice (what about the dog?), the Newt autopsy scene, the crane operator ignoring the dog with a facehugger on it, the Ripley rape, banging the doc, finding a Queen in her belly, the Alien leaving Ripley alone rather than coccooning her up, Pseudo Bishop showing up faster than Jake Bauer crosses LA traffic, the Alien not being crushed and jumping out of the molten lead, Pseudo-Bishop screaming "Nooooooo!", etc.

  • March 17, 2009, 4:09 p.m. CST

    If you told me that was concept art for a new AvP...

    by Ravetin

    ...I would be jerking off all over my keyboard right now. <P> Shit, I am anyway. The pool one rocks.

  • March 17, 2009, 4:21 p.m. CST

    This is indeed a rip-off of Alien loves Predator

    by Dingbatty

  • March 17, 2009, 4:22 p.m. CST

    Also amusing, Hello Cthulhu

    by Dingbatty

  • March 17, 2009, 4:30 p.m. CST


    by Titus05

    did the Predator always wear flip flops?

  • March 17, 2009, 4:34 p.m. CST

    Get them to make an Aliens vs Predator film.

    by hallmitchell

    Just as long as there is no classic Fox interference.

  • March 17, 2009, 4:37 p.m. CST

    Once in a while..

    by GrubStreeter

    ..the internet is good for something. These rule.

  • March 17, 2009, 4:41 p.m. CST


    by veebeeyes

    Now if that concept had actually been in ANY of the movies (particularly the original), then you might have a point. However, that was NOT in the movies, so fuck whatever Dan OBannon says about that shit. Aliens have been killing people "for no reason" right from the very start, and not once do we see any of the hosts getting turned into a goddamn egg. Even if you count the director's cut which was released 20 years later, what you're saying STILL doesn't hold up. Because the ONE person we see getting "turned into an egg" was Dallas, and Dallas was also the ONE person who the Alien DID NOT KILL. Everyone else on the Nostromo? The Alien was simply content just to bite a hole in everyone else's skull (or in Lambert's case, rape her to death with its tail, but I don't think we need to get into that).

  • March 17, 2009, 4:48 p.m. CST

    They need a "Good Friends" cereal box, too...

    by BurnHollywood

    Peace in our time, baby...

  • March 17, 2009, 4:59 p.m. CST

    I think these are pretty cool...

    by DanielKurland

    If they were paintings, I'd maybe even have one on a wall.

  • March 17, 2009, 5:03 p.m. CST

    alien getting bigger

    by sokitome

    If I remember correctly in the first alien film the little alien that burst out of Rob Hurt's chest got bigger after killing each of the crew. I thought the aliens killed for sustenance AND captured people for cocoons. Considering there were no more eggs in the first movie, since they were on the ship, i thought the alien was killing the humans for sustenance and getting bigger until the end when it was full size. In alien 2 it was all about reproduction cause you had a queen and an endless supplies of eggs. Anyway that's what I thought.

  • March 17, 2009, 5:27 p.m. CST

    I was afraid this was another fucking Batman vs film

    by D.Vader

    Thank God it wasn't. That was well-shot but.... ehhhh....

  • March 17, 2009, 5:28 p.m. CST

    ... and "set as background"

    by br1947

    love the chess match

  • March 17, 2009, 5:40 p.m. CST


    by Chicken Thunder

    Yeah, but you also thought it was Rob Hurt, so nevermind.

  • March 17, 2009, 5:45 p.m. CST

    You said the world didnt need another AvP.....

    by mr sulu

    ...but every night i hear people crying for one...

  • March 17, 2009, 5:57 p.m. CST

    There's more storyline, direction, talent and vision...

    by JackPumpkinhead these images than in anything and everything that W. S. Anderson has ever vomited out or will ever vomit out.

  • March 17, 2009, 6 p.m. CST

    Someone above said it...

    by Ravetin actually have to TRY to make an AvP movie turn out shitty. Even when Paul Anderson was announced I wasn't too upset. I figured AvP was a can't miss. But either he's the worst director of all time or Fox execs threatened his family to make the movie they wanted because goddamn, did AvP miss. <P> Even a half-assed AvP movie based on any part of 20 years of books and comics would be among the best action flicks of the year it was released. One in the hands of a good crew would be an instant sci-fi classic. Not kidding. <P> Make a "reboot", "reimagining" or whatever we can actually use, one that IMPROVES a film. AvP can't get worse. I'd rather watch Ridley Scott and James Cameron playing with Alien and Predator action figures then either of the movies again.

  • March 17, 2009, 6:22 p.m. CST


    by big_twinkie

    Let me assure you that we Brits do NOT love Benny Hill. That fat specct twat is much more popular in the US. But I've definitely got a soft spot for Alien3. Dillon especially was a classic character from the whole franchise

  • March 17, 2009, 6:28 p.m. CST

    I don't get the need for the dogburster/oxburster in A3...

    by Ravetin

    ...why not just have it impregnate one of the prisoners? Ox doesn't make sense because the other movies set up the fact that the implant dies when the host dies, and can anyone tell me how a facehugger would attach itself to an animal with a protruding snout, be it dog or ox? They should have had a prisoner locked in "the hole" and a facehugger creeps in to face rape him.

  • March 17, 2009, 6:44 p.m. CST

    No, THIS is the best AvP art

    by dkirk78

  • March 17, 2009, 6:49 p.m. CST

    GIGER DESIGN > amalgamated dynamics


    glad these illustrations have the original design. I can't take any more of AD's awkward and monster truck 'Pumpkinhead' looking bullshit.

  • March 17, 2009, 7:01 p.m. CST

    Alien AND Predator VS Christmas Critters

    by Yamato

    I bet the Alien and Predator would get owned by those fucked up things

  • March 17, 2009, 7:04 p.m. CST

    Robot Chicken

    by Anna Valerious

    They stole the idea for the last photo from that show.

  • March 17, 2009, 7:17 p.m. CST

    Awesome ads!

    by quantize

    very funny and clever

  • March 17, 2009, 8:14 p.m. CST

    They should include one that shows...

    by drompter

    the alien and the predator doing a DP to Megan Fox.

  • March 17, 2009, 8:17 p.m. CST

    Not quite true Veebeeyes...

    by J.B.M.A.

    Brett is also turning into an egg, and much further gone. I think there's even dialogue to explain it...<p>Camerons Queen was a wonderful creation, but unfortunately had the side effect of turning the beautiful, strange alien into a bunch of worker bees.<p>Like most things the alien is more interesting when there's still an element of mystery about it.

  • March 17, 2009, 8:47 p.m. CST

    Where's the one of...

    by Kid Z

    ...Alien and Predator beating the fucking snot out of each other with broken beer bottles and crowbars because they each support rival football clubs?

  • March 17, 2009, 9:03 p.m. CST

    ALIEN³ isn't action or horror

    by caruso_stalker217

    It's drama. <p>It also owns your fucking asses.

  • March 17, 2009, 9:17 p.m. CST

    They need one where they are in a jazz band...


    like one of those Tanaka watercolor prints.

  • March 17, 2009, 10:02 p.m. CST

    I like all 4 Alien films

    by superunknown85

    They're all completely unalike each other, and although Resurrection is clearly inferior to the previous three, it's still well-done for what it is (sci-fi/action/horror). The AvP films are, of course, shit.

  • March 17, 2009, 10:05 p.m. CST

    Where the Wild Things Are poster.

    by SomaShine

    WTWA poster is out but of course AICN is posting useless shit like this.

  • March 17, 2009, 10:06 p.m. CST

    Alien is smoking! Arrest the graphic design firm!

    by Xandar1977

    Yeah, that would never pass in America. Love that they are still cool about that stuff and that they don't censor the things that you see every fucking day in real life. The first time I saw a movie trailer and saw the warning at the bottom include "smoking" part of me died inside. If it was illegal, that's one thing, you want to know if you're taking your kids to a movie that has people fucking and shooting heroin and shit, but go to any starbucks and there's people smoking outside. It's part of life. "This movie contains Popsicles, vacuuming, and throw pillows" because any of those could be potentially dangerous if you are a fucking moron. Which apparently, is most of america. Or at least the MPAA thinks we are.

  • March 17, 2009, 10:12 p.m. CST

    Obese_Wan, now that is a fucking show I would watch

    by Xandar1977

    They'll get what's coming to them, whether it's from this planet or another. A-Men

  • March 17, 2009, 10:21 p.m. CST

    Mel Gibson for AVP3!!!

    by oh_riginal

    Mel Gibson should direct an epic AVP movie with ZERO humans!!! Either that, or lets see that Busey vs Nolte movie that I've been dying to see for years! "Gary Busey was a great man... but that was another life." DUN, DUUUUN!

  • March 17, 2009, 11:01 p.m. CST

    those are pale in comparison to the master work of

    by MurderMostFowl

    "Alien Loves Predator" <BR><BR>

  • March 17, 2009, 11:04 p.m. CST

    AVP requieum

    by ClockWorker

    might have been good if every scene wasn't absolutely pitch black. seriously if the DP wasn't the one that fucked that up someone screwed up over big time

  • March 17, 2009, 11:24 p.m. CST

    I just realised

    by dogstardude

    On that chess pic, the Alien is about to use the queen! That's awesome.

  • March 17, 2009, 11:43 p.m. CST

    AVP3 needs to just be a reboot

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Just its own self contained story separate from the other two movies. <BR><BR> Of course this franchise can be saved. The aliens are too interesting. If a kick ass AVP movie is made, people will watch.

  • March 18, 2009, 1:16 a.m. CST

    Alien vs. Terms of Endearment

    by waynefoolx

    Now that would be a frikkin awesome movie.

  • March 18, 2009, 1:32 a.m. CST

    Just call the third one AVP:Reboot.

    by otm shank

    Use the comic for inspiration. Bam! Problem solved. Oh is Fox.<p> Fuck it.<p> Leave it sprawled on the ground twitching.

  • March 18, 2009, 1:44 a.m. CST

    There's nothing wrong with AVP as a franchise...

    by BiggusDickus's just that the only people to have a crack at it so far have been morons.

  • March 18, 2009, 2:22 a.m. CST

    That's just silly...

    by guypb

    ..smoking in a pub - pure fantasy!

  • March 18, 2009, 2:47 a.m. CST

    Aliens playing poker!

    by lockesbrokenleg

    We need that one!

  • March 18, 2009, 3:01 a.m. CST

    by automaticbutt

    Kiwis love getting excited about these kinds of things. Cute.

  • March 18, 2009, 3:24 a.m. CST

    I'm actually down with an Alien reboot.

    by veebeeyes

    Make it a reboot, but also have it be a sequel. Have it take place within the current Alien universe, and have all of the previous Alien movies being canon. Have a crew accidentally discovering the Alien Homeworld, and then shift the focus to a new (but hopefully also Giger-designed) Alien that is a lot scarier than the Aliens we know. Keep the same basic story structure, have it set in the same universe, don't ignore canon. Just have the Alien homeworld become an "accidental" discovery in the same way that LV-426 was an accidental discovery, and then shift the focus onto a new species of Alien that no one has ever seen. Still technically a reboot of the series, but without ignoring or undoing current movie continuity.

  • March 18, 2009, 3:42 a.m. CST

    Seriously, I think 20th Century Fox hates sci-fi fans now...

    by Prof. Pop-Cult

    ...And those who are into genre type of movies. There is something odd about the studio now. After the year 2000, the people in charge of the studio went on a hate spree against fans of their (mostly genre) franchises. Fight Club and the original X-Men were the last cool genre (or truly cool) flicks that the studio sanctioned.

  • March 18, 2009, 4:19 a.m. CST

    Re:Did the Predator wear flip -flops?

    by Rameses

    Yep....In the first and second films , the predators are wearing sandals.Intergalactic hunters need comfy foot wear.They look like leather to me ..but I read somewhere they were meant to be metal.Which would make sneaking up on someone , a bitch if the floors are anything other than jungle.

  • March 18, 2009, 4:49 a.m. CST

    Reboot Alien? Fuck off

    by Lost Jarv

    just make Alien 5- give it to Neil Marshall, set it on Earth in the aftermath of Resurrection, have a blade runner feel to it, kill Ripley in the first 5 minutes. <P>Easy. There's an old story called "Earth Hive" that I remember reading that is almost fucking made for this treatment. It would rock. <p>But Fox hates Alien for some reason.

  • March 18, 2009, 4:57 a.m. CST


    by Lost Jarv

    this went wrong as soon as Anderwank set it on Earth. This was a catastrophically boneheaded decision. <P>He had to tie himself in narrative knots to explain how the fucking Alien was on Earth and nobody knew about it. <P>Once he'd done this (and I'm ignoring all the rest of the crap in that festering abortion of a film for the purposes of this)he'd left a situation where the sequel had to deal with the direct consequences of setting a high concept sci-fi movie in the present day. They did as good a job as they could have with the story, but were still stuck with the richter scale stupidity of the first film. <P>The flaws of AvP:Rectum are fucking huge, but number one on the list is that you couldn't see what the fuck was going on, and that's before I even get on to the abuse of canon that took place in that shitpile. <P>To be absolutely fair to them, they did finsih the film in Space and tie up the loose ends. It's still fucking terrible though. <P>If Fox really must do an AvP (and I'd rather they didn't), stop trying to force it into Alien continuity (no more Mr. Weyland/ Miss Yutani horseshit), set it in the far future and have some fucking space marines. No more pizza boys (stupidest thing ever), no more fucking rock climbers/ archaelogists, no more corporation heads, no more cheerleaders, just SPACE MARINES. <P>Starship Troopers 3 (which is flawed- but at least had the right idea)should be the model for a return to continuity.

  • March 18, 2009, 5:09 a.m. CST

    I'm with Lost Jarv

    by Sithtastic

    The absolute worst thing to happen to either franchise in the crossover was the humans, i.e. something other than space marines going head-to-head with some of the most brutal extraterrestial killers ever devised by Hollywood. Instead we got treated to exploitative, pseudo-slasher crap. Here's an idea: Go back to the formula and check out the original comic series by Dark Horse. It's not hard. Just don't make your humans a walking buffet of idiots. Why is that hard?

  • March 18, 2009, 5:14 a.m. CST

    It's all predators fault really

    by Lost Jarv

    Ever since there was that utter crap with that skull in Predator 2..... <P>Fuck whoever's idea that was. <P>To be fair to Predator 2, it was smart enough to set it in a futuristic dystopian urban jungle and the people weren't just cannon fodder.

  • March 18, 2009, 5:31 a.m. CST

    Predator 2 is fucking genius...

    by Droid

    because Busey is fucking genius.

  • March 18, 2009, 5:46 a.m. CST

    I like Predator 2

    by Lost Jarv

    and Busey is gold. But it's still got to shoulder some of the blame for AvP.

  • March 18, 2009, 6:22 a.m. CST


    by mattforce7

    i love new zealand, best tv ever

  • March 18, 2009, 6:44 a.m. CST

    I think this is sending the wrong message

    by red_weed

    to the children. That alien is clearly smoking in the 2nd picture. I'm outraged that aliens would endorse this type of behavior.

  • March 18, 2009, 7:24 a.m. CST

    The worst crime of AvP: Rectum?

    by DocPazuzu

    Being so terrible that it actually makes the first AvP seem watchable. <p> The only other time I've watched a movie that made me want to commit violence was back in 1990 when I saw Highlander 2: The Fuckening for the first time. In that case it wasn't even a property I cared that much about. The outrage I felt while watching AvP: Rectum eclipses that experience by far. <p> Fox earned my undying hatred for launching that sauteed pony loaf into pop culture.

  • March 18, 2009, 7:28 a.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu do you fuck something up which is as unfuckupable as Aliens vs Predators? <p> The mind boggles and the ass hurts.

  • March 18, 2009, 7:33 a.m. CST

    Highlander: The fuckening

    by Lost Jarv

    looks like Alien compared to AvP:Rectum. <P>At least it had Sean connery in it.

  • March 18, 2009, 7:48 a.m. CST

    Remember "Kramer vs. Predator" from Family Guy?

    by We_Are_Trapper_Keeper

    That 10 sec clip was better than the AVP movies

  • March 18, 2009, 7:59 a.m. CST

    True Jarv...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...but then again, AvP: Rectum made even Highlander: The Source look like Alien.

  • March 18, 2009, 8:03 a.m. CST

    AvP: Rectum was terrible... but entertaining

    by turketron

    Definitely not what I expect from a true AvP movie, but at least they weren't shy about the gore or deaths. Like someone above said, EVERYONE in that movie is expendable. Kids, pizza delivery boys, cheerleaders, pregnant women (they get it the worst), EVERYONE. You could see the "nuke the city" ending coming a mile away, but you couldn't see half the action in this movie because it was TOO FUCKING DARK. <p> They need to simply grab the plot of the book series and use it to make the fucking movies. It's that simple. That, or just stop. The rectal shotgun violation of the Alien and Predator franchises needs to end.

  • March 18, 2009, 8:41 a.m. CST

    how the fuck was it entertaining?

    by Lost Jarv

    I couldn't see bugger all. <P>HIghlander: The Source is dreadful genius, Doc. I haven't been as angry with something as I still am about AvP:Rectum for a long time. Mostly because it means we won't get another proper Alien film.

  • March 18, 2009, 8:43 a.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    Finally saw Doomsday. Completely mad. Loved it to death.

  • March 18, 2009, 8:46 a.m. CST

    AvP: Rectum...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...was about as entertaining as being head-butted repeatedly in the nuts by Dominic Purcell.

  • March 18, 2009, 8:57 a.m. CST

    It's great isn't it-

    by Lost Jarv

    I couldn't believe all the whinging on here about it. <P>I'm stealing "head-butted in the nuts by Purcell"

  • March 18, 2009, 9:07 a.m. CST

    Neil Marshall FTW!

    by DocPazuzu

    The man is so talented and has the PERFECT sensibilities for genre flicks of that kind. In fact, I'd argue that Marshall is currently the best equipped director to deal with material like that. <p> The editing in Doomsday was outstanding as well. It flowed comfortably between quick cuts and longer takes when the narrative demanded it, without any phony jarring quick-slow-quick-slow bullshit or jump cuts. <p> I love Doomsday because it's so fucking self-confident. It's trash, but GLORIOUS trash and doesn't need cheap tricks to sell itself. <p> Awesome.

  • March 18, 2009, 9:11 a.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    ...the chick with the big tits and the tattooed face was SMOKIN'.

  • March 18, 2009, 9:27 a.m. CST

    In a really nasty obviously syphilitic but you'd

    by Lost Jarv

    chance it anyway type of way. <P>It knew it was trash and fucking loved the fact that it was trash. <P>The Descent 2 draws nearer and I get more and more depressed thinking about it.

  • March 18, 2009, 9:52 a.m. CST


    by ominus

    jesus christ man,have u even watched alien 3. <p>the alien's motivation was to protect ripley because she was the host of the alien queen. <p>what dont u fuckin understand?

  • March 18, 2009, 10:05 a.m. CST

    While Doomsday sucked donkey balls...

    by Droid

    I agree that Neil Marshall has a kick ass alien film in him. <p>I'd prefer to live in a world where The Descent 2 does not exist.

  • March 18, 2009, 10:07 a.m. CST

    Alien leaving Ripley alone rather than coccooning her up

    by Domi'sInnerChild

    Lack of motivation. That and the whole thing about killing all the potential hosts. You can't spin it, Alien 3 was a crappy slasher movie. Leviathan and Deep Star Six had better plots and more complex villains.

  • March 18, 2009, 10:15 a.m. CST

    Neil gets a bum wrap.

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Sure Doomsday was crap, But The Descent and Dog Soldiers were top notch. I'm expecting Drive with Hugh Jackman to be a return to form.

  • March 18, 2009, 10:15 a.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    Hell, I'd have risked the reaper virus for some of that.

  • March 18, 2009, 10:16 a.m. CST

    Are you fuckers really debating a Xenomorph's "motivation"

    by Lost Jarv

    Jesus fucking christ. What's wrong with you. <P>Maybe it kills things because it's Alien stepfather touched it in a naughty place when it was young. <P>Get a grip.

  • March 18, 2009, 10:16 a.m. CST

    Droid & Mike

    by DocPazuzu

    You're mad -- MAD, I tell you!

  • March 18, 2009, 10:17 a.m. CST


    by Lost Jarv

    and it would probably be worth it.

  • March 18, 2009, 10:17 a.m. CST

    I shudder to think...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...of where and what a xenomorph's "naughty place" is.

  • March 18, 2009, 10:18 a.m. CST

    You're both wrong

    by Lost Jarv

    Doomsday was demented awesomeness. <P>And you'd both drink Rhona Mitra's bathwater given half a chance.

  • March 18, 2009, 10:20 a.m. CST

    I laughed my ass off...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...when they played Fine Young Cannibals' "Good Thing" during Sol's big entrance before roasting Pertwee. Genius.

  • March 18, 2009, 10:21 a.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu


  • March 18, 2009, 10:26 a.m. CST

    I fully expected to love Doomsday

    by Droid

    Maybe that was the problem. I fully expected to dislike The Descent and it turned out to be the first film since I was a kid to scare the bejeezus out of me.

  • March 18, 2009, 10:27 a.m. CST

    What EXACTLY do the Aliens do to you

    by BadlyDubbedPorn

    when they grab you? in every movie it's different, you see them attack someone, but then there up on a wall waiting to get inpregnated, what does the Alien do to that person to knock them out and carry them back to the egg chamber? Does it fart in their face? <p> The Alien was supposed to be something that you didn't know if it would eat or fuck you to death, procreation is the meaning of life for all creatures! That should be the Aliens motivation, I think the fact it takes DNA from each host gives people alot of give in the Aliens character<p> And the queen makes sense, you need something to lay all those eggs, if theres no queen then the Alien can somehow morph a human? This fuckin universe needs some stability? But there still ALL awesome movies. And AvP 2 makes AvP watchable

  • March 18, 2009, 10:28 a.m. CST


    by Mr. Nice Gaius guys have convinced me to throw DOOMSDAY in the ol' Netflix queue. :)

  • March 18, 2009, 10:30 a.m. CST

    And yes, I would do as Rhona commands

    by Droid

    While I found something like Punisher War Zone moronically entertaining, Doomsday was just moronic and mindnumbingly boring. How it was boring when it was about 18 different films mashed together into one, I'll never know.

  • March 18, 2009, 10:30 a.m. CST

    The whole thing is worth it for that roasting scene

    by Lost Jarv

    poor old Son of Wurzel. Marshall really doesn't seem to like him and seems to enjoy killing him far too much.

  • March 18, 2009, 10:31 a.m. CST

    Sol was in Doomsday

    by Lost Jarv

    he played "Crawler number 2" or something like that.

  • March 18, 2009, 10:34 a.m. CST

    SOl was in the Descent

    by Lost Jarv

    Even. Obviously he was in Doomsday. <P>Fuck's sake.

  • March 18, 2009, 10:37 a.m. CST

    Descent 2

    by DocPazuzu

    Worst. Idea. Ever.

  • March 18, 2009, 10:39 a.m. CST

    I think they've gone with the US ending

    by Lost Jarv

    so they could do the sequel. <P>The only idea worse than this one is The Thing prequel.

  • March 18, 2009, 10:43 a.m. CST

    One thing I liked about Doomsday.......

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Rhona's fine ass and Lee-Anne Liebenberg's lucious cans. Wait, that's two.

  • March 18, 2009, 10:45 a.m. CST

    or 3 even

    by Lost Jarv

    unless she just has one can. Which would be weird.

  • March 18, 2009, 10:49 a.m. CST

    I hate the word "cans"...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...when it comes to tits. Makes 'em sound clangy, sharp and decidedly unsexy.

  • March 18, 2009, 10:49 a.m. CST

    Paul Hyett - Hot Dog Victim

    by Stuntcock Mike

    I may have to watch Doomsday again just for laughs.

  • March 18, 2009, 10:51 a.m. CST

    better than Hooters

    by Lost Jarv

    which always makes me think of cartoon cars for some reason.

  • March 18, 2009, 10:51 a.m. CST

    Sorry Doc, let's try "orbs"

    by Stuntcock Mike

    It'd be nice if she had six, like that Total Recall skeez.

  • March 18, 2009, 10:52 a.m. CST

    What I mean about AvP: Rectum being entertaining...

    by turketron

    Entertaining in that MST3K, watch with friends while drinking beer, shitty horror movie kind of way. In NO WAY is it a good film, it's just something to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. The over-the top bad acting (especially from the douchebag teenager bullies), the way Predator is trying to cover his tracks with the liquid that dissolves all the evidence (we howled with laughter when he poured it into the pool) but leaves one of his skinned kills in the trees for everyone to find, the predalien who has a fetish for pregnant women, the cheerleader who gets cut the fuck in half by the predator, the double head shot from the pred's shoulder cannon, and how throughout the movie you just want everyone to die and you wonder why the fuck is Michelle Dessler from 24 is in this shit.<p> Will I ever watch it again? FUCK NO if I can help it. But then, i wouldn't watch Invasion for Flesh and Blood ever again either... ok, maybe I might.

  • March 18, 2009, 10:57 a.m. CST


    by Lost Jarv

    I'd agree with you- if you could see any of that. You can't. <P>I've had the misfortune to see it twice now- the first one was a bent copy, so I presumed that it was all fucked up because it was pirate and the second was at a mates on a proper copy. <P>I was distressed to find out that my bent one was actually a perfect pirate.

  • March 18, 2009, 10:59 a.m. CST

    it was dark as shit

    by turketron

    alien shit. (I assume predator shit glows in the dark)

  • March 18, 2009, 11:04 a.m. CST

    DocP... How about Blouse Bunnies?

    by Droid

    That makes them sound cute and cuddly.

  • March 18, 2009, 11:17 a.m. CST

    or sweater puppies

    by Lost Jarv

    feeders, wams, tits, norks, knockers, fun bags etc. <P>There must be about a million words for them.

  • March 18, 2009, 11:44 a.m. CST

    I love political TB's

    by Lost Jarv

    especially when DocP loses it- they're always hilarious.

  • March 18, 2009, 11:50 a.m. CST

    ooooh and AnimalBalls is back

    by Lost Jarv

    hells yeah.

  • March 18, 2009, 11:52 a.m. CST


    by Lost Jarv

    Don't bother with Immortal Fish. <P>He's the idiot that makes out he's black belt in Fuckyu or some other equally made up martial art, and honestly believes that hospitals keep buckets of aborted foetuses (foeti)sitting on dryers when they aren't dead, and that it's alright to go down to a crisis centre and bully rape victims into keeping their babies. <P>He's a twat.

  • March 18, 2009, 11:58 a.m. CST

    Ok, but "fun bags"? And while we're at it...

    by Darth Macchio

    How gross is the term "camel toe". I mean seriously, would you want to put your donga anywhere near an actual camel toe? I get that a woman without panties in tight spandex has an issue with anatomy visibility (not at all a bad thing if you ask me) but why do we describe this phenomenon after something that actually makes me not think about sex or women whatsoever? In fact it is a place that even in the lowest circles of hell, I doubt people are having their penises shoved between the "toes" of camels before having fat hamsters shoved up their ass against their will or something. I would think only people raping little kids and puppies n shit would have their penises shoved between camel toes as my guess is they wouldn't like it at all.<p>I wonder sometimes if the shallow 'frat boy' male descriptions of female body parts do not bely an unconscious disgust with the female anatomy. Sure, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar but still. Bags have absolutely nothing to do with boobs on women under the age of 60 (sometimes even 70!) and "camel toe" shouldn't be used in describing anything related to women ever. Amen.

  • March 18, 2009, 12:02 p.m. CST


    by ominus

    jesus christ man,have u even watched alien 3? <p>the alien's motivation was to protect ripley because she was the host of the alien queen. <p>what dont u fuckin understand?

  • March 18, 2009, 12:04 p.m. CST

    Camel Toe. Bear Claw. Two Fingered Fist.

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Call it what you will, it's like eating a Quarter Pounder with Cheese sideways. Delicious.

  • March 18, 2009, 12:06 p.m. CST

    messy kebab

    by Lost Jarv

    christ. I'm thirty for fuck's sake. You think I'd have grown out of this.

  • March 18, 2009, 12:14 p.m. CST


    by Stuntcock Mike

    I'm 42. You NEVER grow out of this.

  • March 18, 2009, 12:25 p.m. CST

    Hairy Axe Wound

    by Lost Jarv

    no, it would appear you don't.

  • March 18, 2009, 12:55 p.m. CST

    That Obama TB...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...currently houses the most repellent group of talkbackers I can remember. Truly awful people in there. Absolute cunts of the lowest order.

  • March 18, 2009, 12:55 p.m. CST

    "Hairy Axe Wound"

    by DocPazuzu

    Hello, instant impotence. <p> Camel toe is pretty terrible too.

  • March 18, 2009, 12:57 p.m. CST

    I'll also be 42 this year.

    by DocPazuzu

    Panty peach.

  • March 18, 2009, 1:02 p.m. CST


    by Domi'sInnerChild

    jesus christ man,have u even watched alien 3? the alien's motivation was to let ripley wander around and potentially fall into a vat of molten lead she was the host of the alien queen. what dont u fuckin understand?

  • March 18, 2009, 1:21 p.m. CST

    AvP:R...verdict compared to AvP is bad?

    by Darth Macchio

    Ok, yes they are both horrible fucking movies that make ass whoopings needed for quite a few people involved in both production and acting. But as crappy as they are, watching the Predator and that expression-less Sana Miller riding that sled thing together make me hulk angry. The dumbass "predalien" used to make me angry when I first saw pics but nothing comes close to the fury of watching the Predator shoved up the ass of a buddy movie. And this Paul Anderson douchebagola supreme is banging Mila Jovovich? Crispy! And I thought those AIG assbags where getting rewarded for shit work!

  • March 18, 2009, 1:35 p.m. CST

    "You're all gonna die...

    by kwisatzhaderach

    only question is how you check out. You want to go on your feet, fighting? Or on your fuckin' knees, begging?"

  • March 18, 2009, 2:30 p.m. CST


    by Aquanaut

  • March 18, 2009, 2:36 p.m. CST

    Christian Bale loved AvP:R

    by TedKordLives

    All the lights had already been trashed by the FUCKIN' AMATEUR DP!

  • March 18, 2009, 2:46 p.m. CST

    ALIEN3: the snow white connection

    by Aquanaut

    let's see, we've got snow white on the run from an evil queen, except that in this version snow white has killed the queen not knowing that a new queen now sits next to her heart...bringing us to our next parallel- in the original the queen wants snow white's heart as proof of her death. in some versions snow white is rescued by criminals and in others, miners. in alien3 they are both. in some versions the queen does not talk to a mirror but has a dialogue with the sun. in alien3 we see the sun set over the planet as a foreshadowing of the alien, the dragon, the manifestation of the queens evil. we see the sun rise when this evil is destroyed. Vasquez: Who's Snow White? as to the aliens motivations..if we except aliens as cannon as most do and we reject the deleted scenes from alien regarding victims becoming eggs as most do, then how is what the alien does in part 3 any different than what it does in part 1? it would also put the derelict scene in part 1 in a different context as well as we have no idea how long those eggs were sitting there. this would mean that the aliens are not always concerned with having hosts readily available.

  • March 18, 2009, 3:12 p.m. CST

    I got really wasted one afternoon and listened the AVP commentar

    by Klytus_I.m_Bored

    And it was sooo hilarious. I think it was the director, the star (whatever the fuck her name is) and Lance Henrikson. The female lead is eating a fucking hamburger while they're recording and Henrikson TAKES A PHONE CALL during the recording too. It's such a great lesson in the contempt these people had for the fans of these two series. And the shit they say in the commentary is SO shallow. I mean, I wasn't surprised at all - I listened to it on a lark because I wanted to know how these people could possibly explain what they did with this monstrosity of a film. And I got more. A lot more. I highly recommend listening to the commentary track y'all.

  • March 18, 2009, 3:12 p.m. CST

    commentary track, was what I was trying to say

    by Klytus_I.m_Bored

  • March 18, 2009, 3:27 p.m. CST

    AVP: Retarded

    by Zino

    I can't believe I paid to watch that shit. I felt like I had funded terrorism.

  • March 18, 2009, 3:37 p.m. CST

    Alien and Predator vs. Bale

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Bale wins, trashes lights, fucks losers. Credits roll.

  • March 18, 2009, 3:42 p.m. CST


    by Domi'sInnerChild

    So your argument is Aliens become mindless killers like every other crap sci-fi horror movie leaving bodies lying around (in Alien 3 anyway, because it's a dog alien and we all know dogs like to leave squirrel heads on your doorstop and crap) if there's not a queen to keep them in line? That's the problem. They're not threatened (they had no weapons), not hungry (killed off the food source if that's the case without doing more than nibbling, remember all the corpses dropped for "shock" value?), not protecting it's young (run along Ripley, no need to coccoon you up and keep baby nearby), etc. It degraded into Jason in a rubber suit killing people in interesting ways. With Aliencam rolled in (ripped off from David Letterman). That was the films greatest flaw. In Alien, we didn't know what happened to the victims. We saw blood, but the Alien scampered off with them immediately after. And Snow White? Seriously? Would ANYBODY have ever gotten that without listening to the commentary track/making of?

  • March 18, 2009, 3:49 p.m. CST

    This just in:

    by TedKordLives

    Night Court was inspired by the Legend of Sleepy Hollow!

  • March 18, 2009, 3:54 p.m. CST

    My name is last years blue penis

    by nukethefridge

    Paragraph one <p> Paragraph two

  • March 18, 2009, 5:53 p.m. CST

    @ domi

    by Aquanaut

    no, my argument is that the alien in the third move is doing nothing differently than the one in the first. most, if not all of the victims are dragged off just like in the first film. in fact, though we do get to see glimpses of the creature feeding, i can't remember a victim that the alien left behind. the alien "scampered off immediately after" in the third film as well, though being in a larger space left more opportunities for it to be seen. with accepted cannon it was never solidified that a single alien can or will coccoon victims. the aliens coccoon in groups to ensure captive hosts. these films leave a lot to interpretation. many rules on the creatures behavior are not firmly established. but i will say that if you are going to say that the alien in part three was nothing more than jason in a rubber suit, than the same would have to be said of the creature in the first film.

  • March 18, 2009, 6:30 p.m. CST


    by DeckardBladeRunner

    wow- it just gets lamer and lamer for these classic characters (sheesh)

  • March 18, 2009, 7:11 p.m. CST

    I wanted to see AvT--Aliens Vs. Giant Robots.

    by Sal_Bando

    directed by evvvvvvvvveryone's favorite ADD-infected Auteur du BOOM--Mikey_Bay. <p> C'mon you know you wanna see it too. I've NEVER had the sad experience of seeing Either of the Aliens/Predator flix, and I've frankly NO interest, either. <p> Aliens is the best of the lot. I can still watch that, and enjoy. People know who I mean whenever I say 'ChickenShit Outfit'--that's the name du Bodet for Bill Paxton. Can't remember his name? Just remember-Chickenshit Outfit-and you're good to go.

  • March 18, 2009, 9:04 p.m. CST

    Aliens VS Rambo

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Come on Sly

  • March 18, 2009, 10:23 p.m. CST

    Where's ABKING--

    by Sal_Bando

    ===he'll be all over that 000

  • March 19, 2009, 12:29 a.m. CST

    I am...

    by El Gooche

    testing (p) the (p) formatting (p) tip (p)

  • March 19, 2009, 12:30 a.m. CST more time

    by El Gooche


  • March 19, 2009, 12:30 a.m. CST

    fuck it won't work!

    by El Gooche

  • March 19, 2009, 12:32 a.m. CST

    last chance

    by El Gooche

    test(p) test(p)

  • March 19, 2009, 12:33 a.m. CST

    fuck it i give up

    by El Gooche

    i hope i don't write anything that takes up more than one line...i'm retarded...(sob)

  • March 19, 2009, 12:37 a.m. CST

    by El Gooche


  • March 19, 2009, 12:38 a.m. CST


    by El Gooche

    My life now has meaning!!!<p> Thank you DennisMM...even though I will probably never use it again since I hardly post, but thanks anyways!

  • March 19, 2009, 3:46 a.m. CST

    RE. BOOT.

    by ol' painless

    Is to ditch this AVP shit entirely. Ever since Fox let that cocknocker Anderson within five miles of the franchise, things went from a steady decline to a steep plunge. It was like watching the Dow. Those Strause brothers didn't seem to have a single original idea they hadn't stolen from 97 other more superior movies. REBOOT THE FRANCHISE. Wind back the story to just after ALIENS, and start again. No more Ripley. Sigourney Weaver has to take her share of the blame for ALIEN 3 - she wanted to kill off Ripley and end the franchise right there, the selfish cow. And we don't need her any more. The Aliens and the Colonial Marines are the stars now. Oh, and no more having Giler and Hill as producers - those two keep thinking they're trying to make an art movie. Fuck that. I want M-56 smart guns, automatic sentry guns, Marine Dropships frying half a city with Independently Targeted Particle Beam Failings. I WANT OVERWHELMING FIREPOWER MEETING IMPLACABLE, HOSTILE, RELENTLESS XENOMORPHS GOING HEAD TO HEAD IN A GENOCIDAL BATTLE TO THE FUCKING END. Is that too much to ask? Apparently so.

  • March 19, 2009, 4:22 a.m. CST

    ol' painless

    by Lost Jarv

    your "wants" are exactly why Alien is now in the crapper- <P>Alien is first and foremost a Horror movie. And a damned effective one. <P>Your ranting actually puts me off Aliens a little bit, and I fucking love Aliens. <P>They need to return it to it's roots- no shit gimmicks (baby, cloning, predalien), set it in space, or on cyberpunk earth and DO IT FUCKING PROPERLY. <P>You can have some Space Marines, sure, but do not make it a war film- Cameron's was lightening in a bottle.

  • March 19, 2009, 4:59 a.m. CST

    sorry, gotta disagree (respectfully)

    by ol' painless

    Your 'wants' are what gave us ALIEN 3 - an attempt to get back to the 'simplicity' of the original Alien. I personally don't think we saw enough of the Colonial Marines - they are a fascinating concept, with plenty of story still left to tell. I just don't see how much further you could take it with trying to use ALIEN as your template. And yes, it was a rant. I am royally fucking pissed with the direction of the whole ALIEN universe since 1986. My ideas might be lame, but they come from a genuine love of the first two mvies, and to experience the vandalism since then makes me want to nuke Fox. From orbit. Its the only way to be sure.

  • March 19, 2009, 5 a.m. CST


    by ol' painless

    Since the early 90's (not 1986).

  • March 19, 2009, 5:04 a.m. CST

    Alien 3 was underrated

    by Lost Jarv

    and a perfect end to what should have been the "Ripley Saga". <P>Resurrection had untold marines in it. <P>Mistakes- Bringing Ripley back for Resurrection (opened a whole can of worms), Setting AvP in the present day, AvP:Rectum (all of it), <P>I agree though. Something needs to be done- Alien is the gold standard for Sci-Fi/ Horror and what they've doone to it is fucking terrible.

  • March 19, 2009, 5:05 a.m. CST

    "nuke Fox. From orbit. Its the only way to be sure."

    by Lost Jarv

    Funny.<P>The only question is do they want it on their feet like men, or on their knees begging". <P>I bet on begging.

  • March 19, 2009, 5:06 a.m. CST


    by Lost Jarv

    it's < p > Without spaces.

  • March 19, 2009, 6:30 a.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    ...could that Obama TB get any more odious? BraneBalls AND Cuntlin's among many other complete assbags. I feel ill.

  • March 19, 2009, noon CST

    The Predators pool stance is TERRIBLE

    by Xian042

    WAY off balance. Alien is thinking this one is in the bag, he probably upped the bet to 50 human hosts.

  • March 19, 2009, 11:29 p.m. CST

    Another thing that ALIENS brings up...

    by El Gooche

    for me at least, is the "other" xeno's the marines encountered.<p> In the mess hall they talk about "arterian" (if that's the correct spelling) poontang and then later on in the hanger Hudson asks if this will be "another bug hunt". It just makes me wonder what else was out there.

  • March 19, 2009, 11:40 p.m. CST

    Final words etc

    by ol' painless

    I believe what they were saying was 'Acturian' Pootang, (what appears to be a reference to sexually androgynous prostitutes of that star system). The marines do refer to other bug hunts, but judging by their sneering tone, I expect they were very slow moving and relatively harmless. Especially compared to what they ran into on LV426 . . . Oh, and Jarv - yes, there were some form of soldiers in Resurrection (a failed concept, poorly executed, imoho), and some mercenaries, but to be the obnoxious trainspotting fanboy bitch I clearly am, I don't reckon they were Colonial Marines. Plenty of story still to be told, I tell ya!

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