Movie News

A Note To Talkbackers About Merrick's Fourteen Year Old Son...

Published at: March 15, 2009, 7:47 p.m. CST

Merrick here...
My fourteen year old son, frequently derided in Talkbacks as "Merrick's 14 year old son", is now fifteen (15). Please adjust future denigration accordingly.






He was right about KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL, and most of you know it!!!



Readers Talkback

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  • March 15, 2009, 7:48 p.m. CST

    happy birthday

    by Nuck81

  • March 15, 2009, 7:48 p.m. CST

    Slow news day?

    by TheMarineBiologist

    Jesus... Christ...

  • March 15, 2009, 7:50 p.m. CST

    more fun than the other articles

    by Aeghast

    fo' sure.

  • March 15, 2009, 7:50 p.m. CST

    as someone who isnt part of "the gang" here..

    by Bouncy X

    whats the last line about? did his son predict something about Indy that turned out being true? were there arguments about what young people would think? what is this about?

  • March 15, 2009, 7:50 p.m. CST

    sort of an ominous lead-in

    by juice willis

    damn, glad that wasn't the case. my mom does shit like that all the time.

  • March 15, 2009, 7:54 p.m. CST

    Whew!

    by merricks14yearoldson

    I thought you were announcing that I was dead. Felt kind of guilty there for a second!

  • March 15, 2009, 7:55 p.m. CST

    I know

    by unkempt_sock

    I was frightened

  • March 15, 2009, 7:57 p.m. CST

    suuuriously

    by jaywrong

    strange lead in. and whats the with the indy4 comment? must have escaped me. if he said it was going to be teh suck, no one gets cake for having a majority opinion.

  • March 15, 2009, 7:59 p.m. CST

    Grats

    by Melvin_Pelvis

    time to tell him to get a job

  • March 15, 2009, 8:01 p.m. CST

    That healine is like a death announcement.

    by fiester

    Very creepy. You ought to change it.

  • March 15, 2009, 8:02 p.m. CST

    Level up

    by Judge_Dredd

    Puberty skill unlocked

  • March 15, 2009, 8:05 p.m. CST

    Does he have a review for Watchmen?

    by TheMarineBiologist

    Because I think it is about time we get another one...

  • March 15, 2009, 8:05 p.m. CST

    So we get this post

    by Shivv

    but nothing about Ron Silver's death over an hour after it hit the wires. Good thing AICN's priorities are in order

  • March 15, 2009, 8:09 p.m. CST

    My Fifteen Year Old Girl Guitar Student

    by zinc_chameleon

    Was one of the most gifted artists I'd ever met, and she could hold her own on stage, back in 1998. Age doesn't make someone either more or less intelligent. Happy birthday, kid.

  • March 15, 2009, 8:09 p.m. CST

    Way to close to an Obit post

    by CigsandCoffee56

    I thought it was gonna be about a drunk driver.

  • March 15, 2009, 8:10 p.m. CST

    PLANT!

    by Silverglade

    I know it!

  • March 15, 2009, 8:10 p.m. CST

    Ron Silver died.

    by Shan

  • March 15, 2009, 8:11 p.m. CST

    get down to the pizza parlor, or the KFC

    by Star Hump

    Time to start bringing in some money. You owe your father that much at least. Get to work! And go wash his car while you're at it.

  • March 15, 2009, 8:11 p.m. CST

    Thanks for scarin' the shit outta me

    by Yotz Von Frelnik

    Geeez, I thought he died or had an internal decapitation or something. Whew.

  • March 15, 2009, 8:12 p.m. CST

    Blue Pnis Envy

    by Melvin_Pelvis

    man, see a professional<p> And quit blaming the kids

  • March 15, 2009, 8:13 p.m. CST

    Merricks 15 year old son gotta eat!!

    by RedwingsHoolihan

    Merrick's 15 year old son will be played by Shia LeBouf, with Hulk Hogan as the baddie!

  • March 15, 2009, 8:15 p.m. CST

    You Are Truly Blessed To Have A Child

    by Media Messiah

    When I saw the post, I thought something bad had happened? Anyway, I'm glad to see that all is well. <BR><BR>It is a blessing to have a child, one straight from God! A very Happy Birthday to you son!!!

  • March 15, 2009, 8:17 p.m. CST

    Happy Birthday!

    by chrth

    Good one, Merrick

  • March 15, 2009, 8:18 p.m. CST

    That's "Your", Not "You"--But You Get It. Happy 15th!!!

    by Media Messiah

  • March 15, 2009, 8:18 p.m. CST

    Who the fuck is "Merrick"?

    by MaliceHighload

    I thought this was gonna be a death announcement, too. Where's the gag? I just assumed all the AICN reviewers were about 14 years old.

  • March 15, 2009, 8:25 p.m. CST

    happy birthday

    by smutpeddlar

    happy birthday youngin

  • March 15, 2009, 8:28 p.m. CST

    Happy Birthday, Merrick Jr.!

    by Hercules

    My name for you is "Pubes."

  • March 15, 2009, 8:29 p.m. CST

    Bull fucking shit

    by IndyCollector

    He was wrong about KOTCS. What does his middle school think about this?

  • March 15, 2009, 8:36 p.m. CST

    WE DON'T CARE!!

    by phoenixmagida5th

    We don't come here for updates on your personal life you douche.

  • March 15, 2009, 8:38 p.m. CST

    is Merrick's son......

    by BacardiRocky

    really Ron Silver? Thats the way the headline reads.

  • March 15, 2009, 8:38 p.m. CST

    Is his name "Skywalker Kurwosawa"?

    by Light_Tweaker

    Or perhaps "Indiana Joneslover?" Poor bastard.

  • March 15, 2009, 8:40 p.m. CST

    Merrick is Old?

    by A-COD

    I always pictured Merrick as some wet behind the ears kid Harry just hired out of college. He's only been around a couple years right? I had him at 23 years old.

  • March 15, 2009, 8:49 p.m. CST

    Ah, 15. The year everybody starts to hate you.

    by The Reluctant Austinite

    Yes, you're not a cute little kid anymore. All the clerks in the store follow you around because they think you're going to steal something. Old geezers who used to smile at you now growl at you and say stuff like, "Get off my yard, punk." Teachers who used to praise your creativity now suddenly aren't impressed anymore. Everybody that used to give you free stuff stops, but now they say "If you want something, get a job." No wonder the 15 year olds online are so mean and cynical!

  • March 15, 2009, 8:51 p.m. CST

    Buy him a lawnmoer

    by Melvin_Pelvis

    one tank of gas<br> point him at the neighbors yards<br> and say *get to work*

  • March 15, 2009, 8:53 p.m. CST

    Really?

    by technotranceporter

    I read the talkbalks everyday but I don't recall anyone giving your son a hard time. I would think if they did you would find them and anally rape them. At least I would. Two for one. I get to avenge my child and rape someone!! HAppy B-Day pimp!!!

  • March 15, 2009, 9:01 p.m. CST

    Ahhh...15...a magical age...

    by conspiracy

    Only 3 more years till the Feds force you to register for 'selective service" and potentially send you off to die in some piss poor foreign country for a cause you don't even believe in. Still...there is a bright side...You are basically an adult...old enough to fuck like a madman, rob, pillage and generally act a fool just short of murder....yet, young enough to get away with it and have your sins washed away at 18. Enjoy young man...Enjoy.

  • March 15, 2009, 9:05 p.m. CST

    the joke here is

    by aestheticity

    the talkbackers making cracks about time to get a job etcetera are currently childless and very likely will genuinely pursue that attitude if they ever do have 15 year old sons. i can already see the side of their deathbeds empty.

  • March 15, 2009, 9:06 p.m. CST

    I thought he died

    by CherryValance

    meep</p> <p>Happy Birthday to your kid that I didn't know you had.</p>

  • March 15, 2009, 9:06 p.m. CST

    15 the year i sucked on a pair of tits!!

    by supercowbell4therequestformorecowbell

    and they werent my moms assholes. happy birthday! theres plenty of unprotected sex coming your way. remember, never wear a condom! it takes all the feeling out!

  • March 15, 2009, 9:08 p.m. CST

    Happy Birthday! Now Quit Band...

    by Frodo T. Baggins

    Before the shladies quit you. I have enclosed a link to HEB. Those carts arnt going to start a congo line by themselves! https://company.heb.com/career/pages/JobSearch.aspx?jobfunction= Hey, you can get a better Texting plan with this gig.

  • March 15, 2009, 9:17 p.m. CST

    I remember when I was 15

    by The Amazing G

  • March 15, 2009, 9:17 p.m. CST

    Huh?

    by D.Vader

    Strange story.

  • March 15, 2009, 9:19 p.m. CST

    One more year

    by covenant

    And it's no longer safe on the sidewalks in that town. :)

  • March 15, 2009, 9:20 p.m. CST

    Happy Birthday Kid =)

    by Amazing Maurice

  • March 15, 2009, 9:29 p.m. CST

    aestheticity

    by Melvin_Pelvis

    meanwhile is gooming it's progeny to be AIG material

  • March 15, 2009, 9:30 p.m. CST

    Happy Birthday, ol' thing!

    by serellie

    Phew, I thought his son had died (probably from a swift and painful disease) or something from that headline.

  • March 15, 2009, 9:31 p.m. CST

    Merrick's 15 year old son was wrong about...

    by Leafar the Lost

    ...the KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL, and most of you know it!!! I don't care if he is 14, 15, or 1,145, he was wrong then and he is wrong now!!!

  • March 15, 2009, 9:32 p.m. CST

    Oh whats that phrase

    by Melvin_Pelvis

    Oh yeah, Top Tier Talent<p>

  • March 15, 2009, 9:36 p.m. CST

    I thought indy 4 was ok.....

    by Jesiah

    River Phoenix is one of my favorite actors of all time so Last Crusade will never be surpassed. And happy birthday kid. Hope you don't look like the most famous Merrick.

  • March 15, 2009, 9:43 p.m. CST

    Merrick's son=Herc?

    by drhouse14853

    Oops. Herc's a fourteen year old girl.

  • March 15, 2009, 9:46 p.m. CST

    I was right about Indy 4 too!!

    by ShogunMaster

    And I think I was derided even more than Merrick's son on that find day... <p> Just in case you missed the fun the first time: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/36667

  • March 15, 2009, 9:48 p.m. CST

    Ain't it Blog News

    by funnyhat

    someone said it last week somewhere. made me laugh.

  • March 15, 2009, 9:49 p.m. CST

    PS: Merrick-

    by funnyhat

    He's old enough to watch that one scene in Wild Things now. YOU know what scene. Beats giving the birds-and-the-bees talk any day.

  • March 15, 2009, 9:51 p.m. CST

    oh and if you wanna post personal information

    by Jesiah

    Don't post about sons of staffers turning 15....POST ABOUT DAUGHTERS OF STAFFERS TURNING 18 MUHAHAHAHAHAH

  • March 15, 2009, 9:55 p.m. CST

    So its been almost 16 years since Merrick last got laid?

    by MrD

  • March 15, 2009, 10:04 p.m. CST

    Wait, wait.

    by shellfishh

    Is this the son who got herpes from when Merrick took him to TJ to get laid for his thirteenth birthday? Or is it the son that keeps unwrapping Merrick's 'action figures' and using them to stage stop motion revivals of "Guys and Dolls"?

  • March 15, 2009, 10:05 p.m. CST

    Heat Vision And Jack Are Now Free From Persecution

    by thelordofhell

    Ron Silver is dead

  • March 15, 2009, 10:09 p.m. CST

    lordofhell

    by Kenny_Fuckin_Powers

    very few people knew that ron silver was a secret agent for Nasa. Astute of you to note.

  • March 15, 2009, 10:11 p.m. CST

    Jesiah

    by Get_Me_An_18-Man_Fire_Team_In_12_Hours

    I like where you're head's at ... I just hope SHE doesn't mind it being there!

  • March 15, 2009, 10:12 p.m. CST

    Wait, 15 today or yesterday?

    by Squashua

    I need to know to confirm my identity theft records.

  • March 15, 2009, 10:13 p.m. CST

    make that "your"

    by Get_Me_An_18-Man_Fire_Team_In_12_Hours

    My mind was elsewhere during that first post, can't imagine why!

  • March 15, 2009, 10:13 p.m. CST

    Which one is Merrick?

    by Geekgasm

    Seriously, after the fat redhead they all look alike to me.

  • March 15, 2009, 10:15 p.m. CST

    Well done kid

    by MEGAN_FOXS_CUNT_JUICE

    you are now officialy safe from Micheal Jackson

  • March 15, 2009, 10:18 p.m. CST

    Merrick's Fourteen Year Old Son killed Ron Silver?

    by TheMarineBiologist

    Bastard...

  • March 15, 2009, 10:21 p.m. CST

    A little old for my tastes...

    by arizonahotrock

    but, I'd still fuck 'im. Whatever.

  • March 15, 2009, 10:50 p.m. CST

    Does he get an hour with scriptgirl for his birthday?

    by Alonzo Mosely

  • March 15, 2009, 10:51 p.m. CST

    arizonahotrock wins

    by Melvin_Pelvis

    by fucking light years

  • March 15, 2009, 10:55 p.m. CST

    needs some fine tuning though

    by Melvin_Pelvis

    *how much for your children?<br> The girls, they are very nice<br> the boy.<br> he is not so bad either

  • March 15, 2009, 11:02 p.m. CST

    Who

    by shran

    is Merrick?

  • March 15, 2009, 11:11 p.m. CST

    happy birthday...

    by iwasredempted

    never trust anyone over thirty.

  • March 15, 2009, 11:18 p.m. CST

    AINT IT COOL NEWS!

    by CGI_Pants

    It AINT

  • March 15, 2009, 11:19 p.m. CST

    Awesome!

    by Kentucky Colonel

    Only 15 more years till he gets laid! I hope someone above didn't beat me to that one....

  • March 15, 2009, 11:25 p.m. CST

    by MikeTheSpike

    Oh, you had me there, Merrick. As I sat there while the page loaded, assuming your son had died, I almost told myself I'd finally lay off you and your shitty, shitty contributions to the site. But no, now my crusade can continue. Kid, you have an idiot for a father. And now the whole Internet knows it!

  • March 15, 2009, 11:28 p.m. CST

    Merrick, you magnificent bastard!

    by YackBacker

    That's a pretty funny post. Short, on-point and educational. Massa, take notes.

  • March 15, 2009, 11:44 p.m. CST

    The best part of being a fifteen year old dude is....

    by Turd Furgeson

    the constant masturbation.... It was like life assigned you a job, and that job was to jack off as much as humanly possible.... Ahh I miss being 15...

  • March 15, 2009, 11:45 p.m. CST

    StarBlitzer

    by Jesiah

    For the record I don't put my head where another man's been...she best be a virgin if she wants my tongue-a lurkin' if you know what I mean

  • March 16, 2009, 12:02 a.m. CST

    Seriously now

    by Defrost

    what was he right about in that movie?

  • March 16, 2009, 12:09 a.m. CST

    Happy Birthday, Ya Little Pigfucker

    by Tokyo_Drifter

    Hope it's a good one.

  • March 16, 2009, 12:25 a.m. CST

    NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR ABORTION THAT LIVED!!!FACT!!!

    by 1978CreepyThinMan

  • March 16, 2009, 12:43 a.m. CST

    the constant masturbation

    by Geekgasm

    I think that, as well as any phrase in the English language, best summarizes the life of a fifeteen year old male. I think I once beat off eight times in 24 hours when I was fifeteen, and I vaguely recall the eigth orgasm was basically a little flag with the word "bang" written on it popping out of my penis. Good times.

  • March 16, 2009, 12:55 a.m. CST

    supercowbell4...

    by thebearovingian

    "15 the year i sucked on a pair of tits!! and they werent my moms assholes."<p>How many assholes does your mom have? A comma makes that sentence so much less funny. In this instance I am glad there is no edit feature in the TBs. That is too frickin' funny.

  • March 16, 2009, 1:21 a.m. CST

    Happy Birthday!

    by WhinyNegativeBitch

    Sorry about your dad!

  • March 16, 2009, 1:30 a.m. CST

    For a moment, I thought he died ...

    by MorpheusTheSandman

    But that was a damn funny post!

  • March 16, 2009, 1:41 a.m. CST

    Merrick I always knew you were a bitch though.

    by Proman1984

    And Indy 4 is a fantastic movie. Keep your son out of it.

  • March 16, 2009, 1:58 a.m. CST

    Whatever Merrick's son thought about Crystal Skull...

    by Amy Chasing

    It can't save the fridge.

  • March 16, 2009, 2:20 a.m. CST

    does he fap to script girl?

    by bacci40

    happy b-day<p> is he allowed to see watchmen now?

  • March 16, 2009, 2:22 a.m. CST

    Ahhhh, 15! That was the age I mastered

    by Amadeo Zeller

    the art of masturbation. It's all in the wrist, the G.I. Joe Kung Fu Grip and the porn you're watching.

  • March 16, 2009, 2:29 a.m. CST

    Almost old enough for Harry to marry him.

    by DigitalDong

  • March 16, 2009, 3:08 a.m. CST

    FUCK you for posting this piece of SHIT news

    by Stengah

    its not even news.

  • March 16, 2009, 3:25 a.m. CST

    Classic.

    by Carl's hat

    I like it.

  • March 16, 2009, 3:28 a.m. CST

    NEXT HARRY WILL TELL US HIS BEARD FOUND HIS PENIS!!! YAY PATRICI

    by 1978CreepyThinMan

  • March 16, 2009, 4:19 a.m. CST

    Don't feed the mod trolls.

    by DocPazuzu

    Seriously, post bait much?

  • March 16, 2009, 4:23 a.m. CST

    DocP

    by Lost Jarv

    How goes it?<P>ANd fuck this shit. You really are a pointless human being, Merrick.

  • March 16, 2009, 4:46 a.m. CST

    I'm 12 years older than you, kid!

    by DerLanghaarige

    So my opinion on Indy 4 counts 12 times more than yours! (Although that's of course not important, because I was right anyway.)

  • March 16, 2009, 5:38 a.m. CST

    NEEDS GIANT ROBOTS

    by Sal_Bando

    think about it and you'll agree

  • March 16, 2009, 5:53 a.m. CST

    The original Talkback ...

    by NoDiggity

    is here <p> http://www.aintitcool.com/node/36667<p> Remove AICN inserted spaces to make it work.

  • March 16, 2009, 6 a.m. CST

    Uh, which one is Merrick again?

    by Stalkeye

    An nethermind. When any of the mods on this site put their personal business on these boards, don't feel shocked by any negative berrating some of these tbers throw at ya.<p>Word to the not-so-wise.

  • March 16, 2009, 6:20 a.m. CST

    It was okay, because I looked over and saw

    by CreasyBear

    Merrick's 15-year-old son laughing.

  • March 16, 2009, 6:21 a.m. CST

    Merrick's 15-year-old son has a bear and cheats on his wife.

    by CreasyBear

  • March 16, 2009, 6:21 a.m. CST

    And then he has a beer.

    by CreasyBear

  • March 16, 2009, 6:22 a.m. CST

    Merrick's 15-year-old son was busy chest-bumping

    by CreasyBear

    fat kids.

  • March 16, 2009, 6:24 a.m. CST

    Time to get these motherfuckin' 15-year-olds

    by CreasyBear

    off this motherfuckin' plane!

  • March 16, 2009, 6:29 a.m. CST

    PROFESSIONAL, chocolate-covered pussy juice,

    by CreasyBear

    yada yada yada. Okay, now we're up to speed.

  • March 16, 2009, 6:46 a.m. CST

    so, happy birthday?

    by Gungan Slayer

    is that what this talk back's intent was?

  • March 16, 2009, 6:48 a.m. CST

    Happy Birthday!

    by deadboy1313

    Happy Birthday son of Merrick! I hope you get a nice big cake and all the ice cream you can eat!

  • March 16, 2009, 7:25 a.m. CST

    Merrick Found Someone Willing to Reproduce With Him?

    by kevinwillis.net

    Amazing! Will wonders never cease?

  • March 16, 2009, 7:26 a.m. CST

    IT AIN'T COOL NEWS

    by shaneo632

    NOBODY CARES ABOUT SOME KID'S BIRTHDAY. GIMME FILM NEWS DAMNIT.

  • March 16, 2009, 7:34 a.m. CST

    Jesus Christ

    by Col. Tigh-Fighter

    What is this fucking site coming to? <p> :(

  • March 16, 2009, 8:01 a.m. CST

    Bizarre

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    If you accept the thesis that this site is amazing because of how idiotic and weird it is, this post by Merrick definitely posits him as one of the AICN standard-bearers. I had previously thought him to be one of the "normal" AICN writers ... Glad to see I was wrong.

  • March 16, 2009, 8:17 a.m. CST

    Merrick

    by dioxholster

    grow up. just like your son! hahaha

  • March 16, 2009, 8:29 a.m. CST

    Tell him...

    by Theta

    I said "Congratulations." And also, "Get a job, punk." Hey, it's what my dad said to me every birthday.

  • March 16, 2009, 8:52 a.m. CST

    Seems to me

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    This TB could one of the great ones, but it's off to a disappointing.

  • March 16, 2009, 8:54 a.m. CST

    What kind of father...

    by The Funketeer

    willingly sets his son up for ridicule on the Internet?

  • March 16, 2009, 9:22 a.m. CST

    Change the headline dude...

    by Darth Valinorean

    You don't want that kind of negative energy for your son, even if you "think" it is so cool that it makes the talkbackers read this garbage

  • March 16, 2009, 9:25 a.m. CST

    start.

    by Thunderbolt Ross

  • March 16, 2009, 9:48 a.m. CST

    happy birthday...

    by thekylegassproject

    it's just one more step to the grave really...<p> but the hope feels so...real<p> *bursts into sobbing*

  • March 16, 2009, 9:57 a.m. CST

    This is the most fucking hilarious talkback since...

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    ...well, I dunno since when?

  • March 16, 2009, 10:01 a.m. CST

    I guess his son is now the sexiest tomboy beanpole EVAR!

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    denis

  • March 16, 2009, 10:02 a.m. CST

    Just got off the phone with Merrick's son...

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    oleg

  • March 16, 2009, 10:06 a.m. CST

    Merrick's son turned 15. Does it teh suck?

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    Or is it teh not suck?

  • March 16, 2009, 10:10 a.m. CST

    I am teh fr1st!

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    OMFG LOL

  • March 16, 2009, 10:12 a.m. CST

    Don Murphy pwns teh suck

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    sumbody had to say it

  • March 16, 2009, 10:20 a.m. CST

    Merrick's 15 year old reviews films here?

    by SomaShine

    That explains the lack of proper grammar and the big ass annoying fonts.

  • March 16, 2009, 10:22 a.m. CST

    future denigration

    by Arcadian Del Sol

    the denigration resulting from the day Merrick Jr discovers AICN will be far greater than anything any talkbackers could ever accomplish.<p> I thought Merrick was the gay one? Hows a gay dude with marginal writing skills wind up with a son? Im emailing John Walsh - just in case.

  • March 16, 2009, 10:28 a.m. CST

    call my shogunmaster

    by Arcadian Del Sol

    he needs to be informed of this development.

  • March 16, 2009, 10:31 a.m. CST

    supercowbell's mom has

    by Bjornegar

    tits in her assholes??? bearloving already pointed out that it is entirely unusual for a person to have more than one asshole, but to also have tits in those assholes is a scientific uniquity! You'd've thought we'd've heard about this already.

  • March 16, 2009, 10:37 a.m. CST

    Merrick's son

    by Bjornegar

    was pretty generic. I kept wondering why he didn't have pants on. And the narrator should've borrowed a lozenge from Batman. Also, his choice of song to play during his first fuck was weird. I was expecting something more akin to his age. I dunno, Panic At the Disco or some useless emo shit. Kid, if you're gonna go old school, you can't beat Marvin Gaye. Anyway, I digress - Merrick's fifteen was a disappointment. I predict at least a 70% drop-off for the second weekend. By the time he's 17, he's gonna re-boot anyway.

  • March 16, 2009, 10:54 a.m. CST

    I almost thought the kid had died a horrible death

    by ricarleite

    But then, reading the post, I've seen it's nothing but AICN normal self referential ego trip.

  • March 16, 2009, 10:57 a.m. CST

    Merrick's 15 year old son is dating the 29 year old Script Girl.

    by Leafar the Lost

  • March 16, 2009, 11:12 a.m. CST

    UPDATED! A Note To TBers About Merrick's 15 YO Son

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    Merrick's 15 year old son is now 16 years old. <p>WHAT THE FUCK

  • March 16, 2009, 11:15 a.m. CST

    Re: Merrick's 14 year old daughter

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    Somehow, I don't think that would be an article here. Sexists.

  • March 16, 2009, 11:17 a.m. CST

    UPDATE ABOUT MERRICKS 15 YEAR OLD SON

    by Arcadian Del Sol

    Merrick, previously known as "dad" is now being referred to in under-breath retorts as "douchebag".<p> More on this as it develops.

  • March 16, 2009, 11:18 a.m. CST

    A note to Merrick's 15 year old son re: talkbackers

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    They're still 35.

  • March 16, 2009, 11:20 a.m. CST

    I just got off the phone with Roman Polanski

    by Arcadian Del Sol

    wants to know how old Merrick's daughter might be.

  • March 16, 2009, 11:22 a.m. CST

    BREAKING NEWS: Merrick car seen outside Script Girl house

    by Arcadian Del Sol

    Is it still a rite of passage to take your teen son to a haggard world-worn old hooker to make him into a man?

  • March 16, 2009, 11:23 a.m. CST

    The reports of Merrick's Jr's death are greatly exaggerated

    by Arcadian Del Sol

    however, the reports of AICN's death are pretty much spot-on.

  • March 16, 2009, 11:30 a.m. CST

    As hard as I try I just can't come up with an insult.

    by rbatty024

    After all, the poor kid has Merrick for a father. What more can I, a mere talkbacker, do to him?

  • March 16, 2009, 11:30 a.m. CST

    Kid...

    by TedKordLives

    go read Justice League International. It just got reprinted. Actually, all of you go get the JLI Trade. And lighten up a little. BWAH-HA-HAHAHAHAHAHA!

  • March 16, 2009, 11:30 a.m. CST

    I PULLED A REAL-LIFE CHRISTIAN BALE

    by Arcadian Del Sol

    having a busy IT day on Friday. around noonish I grab a single cookie on the way by the coffee counter to tide me over til lunch. A douche walks by and says, "oh you got time to eat cookies but meanwihle I still can't print emails."<p> me: "I got time to kick your fucking ass."<p> I got a 'talking to' by my boss but he supported my actions.<p> BALE BE PRAISED.

  • March 16, 2009, 11:54 a.m. CST

    Prepare to look your worst

    by drewlicious

    I mean the worst you have ever looked in your life. They tell me it's supposed to be funny in retrospect eventually. I'll let you know when that happens.

  • March 16, 2009, 12:21 p.m. CST

    Arcadian

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    A Professional's Professional

  • March 16, 2009, 12:23 p.m. CST

    Arcadian

    by TedKordLives

    'Golf clap?' 'Golf clap.' clapclapclapclap

  • March 16, 2009, 12:28 p.m. CST

    A note to Merrick re: his 15 year old son

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    I'm actually his father.

  • March 16, 2009, 12:29 p.m. CST

    You son of a cat hater!

    by DerLanghaarige

  • March 16, 2009, 12:31 p.m. CST

    A NOT ETO THUNDERBOLT ROSS

    by Arcadian Del Sol

    NOOOOOOOOOO!<p> THATS NOT TRUE!<p> ITS IMPOSSIBLE!<p> *LETS GO OF RAILING*

  • March 16, 2009, 12:43 p.m. CST

    Arcadian for the win!

    by TedKordLives

    Survey says: Perfect.

  • March 16, 2009, 1:35 p.m. CST

    A note to Darth Vader from his 15 year old son

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    Dad - <p>Went to the Toshi station to pick up some power converters. I'll be back in time for dinner.<p>- Luke

  • March 16, 2009, 1:54 p.m. CST

    A note to talkbackers regarding LostBack

    by Arcadian Del Sol

    it is now 2nd longest thread ever.

  • March 16, 2009, 2:28 p.m. CST

    Arcadian

    by Frodo T. Baggins

    Did you put your hand in the air and give him the "Bay Fist"? Always go with the Bay Fist. Thatll shut them up. Happy Birthday

  • March 16, 2009, 2:29 p.m. CST

    Christian Bale

    by Abominable Snowcone

    wishes your son a happy B-day. 15 was a good year for the Bale. He'd gladly discuss some of the things he did when he was that age, some of the "firsts," but he doesn't want to frighten you, being the kid's dad and all.

  • March 16, 2009, 2:40 p.m. CST

    Ah HA HA HA, your kid's DEAD!!

    by Ravetin

    Oh, wait...

  • March 16, 2009, 2:59 p.m. CST

    LostBack?

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    Eh?

  • March 16, 2009, 3:01 p.m. CST

    He's 15 and in middle school?

    by IndyCollector

    Am I missing some math somewhere?

  • March 16, 2009, 3:19 p.m. CST

    15 in middle school = you're not the only one missing some math

    by Arcadian Del Sol

    = you're not the only one missing some math.

  • March 16, 2009, 4:08 p.m. CST

    Fifteen is the age where Christian Bale yells at you

    by Acquanetta

    But not the last.

  • March 16, 2009, 4:49 p.m. CST

    Well, it helped me:

    by TedKordLives

    Jack Slater: Well I'm sorry to disappoint you but you're gonna live to enjoy all the glorious fruits life has got to offer - acne, shaving, premature ejaculation... and your first divorce.

  • March 16, 2009, 5:59 p.m. CST

    Question, Merrick

    by ThusSpakeSpymunk

    You say your son is fifteen. Is he into legitimate sci-fi/fantasy beyond trying to bond with you? I ask because of my theories that the new generations of kids HATE AND LOATHE genre material except for the trappings (ie, "Yeah, it's a vampire, and that's kinda gay, but she's got great tits!")

  • March 16, 2009, 6:28 p.m. CST

    ThusSpakeSpymunk

    by LightninBolt

    They fricking love LOTR, Harry Potter, dark shit like Batman. And guess what this generation's Star Wars is coming soon to fuck kids i n t h e e y e s <p>(I hope)

  • March 16, 2009, 10:44 p.m. CST

    Jesiah

    by Get_Me_An_18-Man_Fire_Team_In_12_Hours

    Well played, sir.

  • March 17, 2009, 7:53 a.m. CST

    Good to see professional behaviour from Arcadian

    by Col. Tigh-Fighter

    A true soldier of Bale is he!