Cool News
AICN & Twitch Present International Eye Candy: COWEB, BEAUTIFUL, VAN DIEMEN'S LAND, VAN DIEMEN'S LAND, BOOB, And More!!
International Eye Candy
March 4, 2009
Ladies and gentlemen, beware the BOOB! Yes, the most striking trailer in this installment of International Eye Candy belongs to the shortest film of them all – total running time a mere two minutes, fifty seconds – and we'll be saving that one for last. But before we get there we've got a trio of tasty morsels from Australia, Hong Kong chick fights, Czech noir, Belgian stop motion cows, and the proverbial more, more, more. Yes kids, I am Todd from Twitch and this is your regular installment of International Eye Candy.
What the hell, let's get things started with that Hong Kong chick fight action. The film in question is COWEB, the directorial debut from the guy who plays Clubfoot in the ONCE UPON A TIME IN CHINA films, opposite Jet Li. The star? Jiang Luxia, a female martial artist who first made a name for herself through a series of online stunt reels and by becoming a finalist on Jackie Chan's martial arts reality show THE DISCIPLE. And let me tell you, this girl is the real thing. We've posted some trailers and things from COWEB in the past and now we've got a brand new fight reel for your enjoyment. Very tasty.
Find the COWEB reel here
From Hong Kong we head to Australia for our first of three visits. This one belongs to BEAUTIFUL, a gorgeously shot thriller with one of the lead actors from last year's festival hit ACOLYTES. This one's like a grim, adolescent version of DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES, the story of hidden secrets in a suburb whose young women are becoming the victims of a local kidnapper – three of them now have simply disappeared in the middle of the night. Throw in an awkward young teen and the beautiful neighbor girl who knows exactly what sort of effect she has on him and things get messy …
Find the BEAUTIFUL trailer here
It's Australia mark two with VAN DIEMEN'S LAND, this one a historical thriller that goes all the way back to the nation's roots as a penal colony and the story of its most notorious criminal – a man who famously turned to cannibalism after escaping from prison. This one just debuted at the Adelaide Film Festival to much love and it's not hard to see why at all: gritty subject matter and fantastic production values make for potent viewing.
Find the VAN DIEMEN'S LAND trailer here
And now Australian film the third, this one being THE LAST RIDE, in which Hugo Weaving stars as a criminal on the run from the law with his young son in tow. If anybody out there has seen THE PROPOSITION – and if you haven't, you should – you'll find a sort of spiritual sibling here, a film filled with beautiful, desolate landscapes that'll swallow you whole and spit out your bones if you pause to admire them too long. And, really, you don't really need to comment on Weaving at this point of his career, now do you? He's always strong and this looks like no exception.
Go on THE LAST RIDE here
And now one of my very favorite things in the history of ever and anywhere, hysterically surreal Belgian stop motion animation PANIQUE AU VILLAGE aka A TOWN CALLED PANIC. Thrill to the exploits of Cowboy, Indian and Horse – those clunky plastic toys you know and love from your childhood – as they wreak very silly havoc on their surroundings. I'm both baffled and very, very happy that they're making the cult hit TV show into a feature film and even happier that the uber-silly trailer clip has arrived online.
Visit A TOWN CALLED PANIC here
You know what would make all those frightened PANIQUE cows sleep a little easier? The knowledge that somewhere in Thailand the tables have been turned and it's the humans on the menu rather than the cows. The film is MEAT GRINDER and it's as aptly titled as they come. We've linked to this one in the past but it's back with a lengthier trailer and it looks really surprisingly good in a very nasty, bloody sort of way. Don't eat the soup.
Find the MEAT GRINDER here
Ready for something completely different? How about the trailer for AGORA, the huge budget historical epic from THE OTHERS director Alejandro Amenabar with Rachel Weisz as Hypatia of Alexandria. They kept this one under exceptionally tight wraps for a good long time but the trailer is on the scene now and it is flat out gorgeous.
Visit the AGORA here
Well, we've had our three from Australia, and now here is our first of two neo-noir pictures. The film is NORMAL, a Czech offering following a notorious serial killer's relationship in prison with his lawyer. On paper it sounds a bit SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, on screen it's pure Raymond Chandler. But Chandler could only wish he looked this good.
Find the NORMAL trailers here
From Prague we head to the good ol' US of A for our second noir offering, this one Jeremy Alter's action-noir THE PERFECT SLEEP. This one is beginning a limited theatrical run in LA on March 13th and if you have any weakness for femmes fatales and hard boiled cons you owe it to yourself to check out the trailer: Alter's a genius with a camera.
Find the PERFECT SLEEP trailer here
It's Hong Kong's happiest movie of the year, Dennis Law's A VERY SHORT LIFE! No, that's not true, at least not the happy part. Law is a frustratingly inconsistent figure on the Hong Kong film scene, ranging from an A-list producer (Johnnie To's ELECTION, for one) to a solidly entertaining B-flick director (Wu Jing star vehicle FATAL CONTACT) to purveyor or absolute dreck (similarly titled FATAL MOVE, which is just icky). Which Law is behind A VERY SHORT LIFE? One who thought it would be a good idea to make a Cat III film about child abuse. I'm still not sure whether he's intending this as an exploitation picture or a serious treatment of the topic but the trailer seems to lean towards exploitation, which is a pretty mind numbing decision.
Find the A VERY SHORT LIFE trailer here
Is Dante Lam's SNIPER a good film? Nobody knows and, honestly, nobody much cares. What it is, however, is a notorious film, a crown it wears by virtue of being the film Hong Kong star Edison Chen had just completed before his career was exploded into tiny little pieces by a sex-photo scandal that took down not only his career but a number of prominent actresses. The film has been held up ever since – Chinese censorship have refused to pass it with Chen in it and his role is too prominent to cut – but it looks as though it may finally have a shot at release. If nothing else, it's finally got some trailers out in public.
Check out the SNIPER trailer here
Any fans of Jake West's EVIL ALIENS out there? Because West is back with his first proper feature since. DOGHOUSE once again works splatter-comedy turf, this one following a van full of lads trying to console a friend going through a rough divorce only to end up in a town where an air borne toxin has turned all of the women into ravenous, violent creatures intent on their destruction. Which sounds kind of like my house. He's got a surprisingly strong cast in this one – I'm very surprised to see Stephen Graham, in particular, doing this sort of thing after his stunning performance in THIS IS ENGLAND – and it looks like all sorts of fun.
Enter the DOGHOUSE here
It's firm. It's supple. It's synthetic. It's the BOOB and it's one hundred per cent pure evil.
Fondle the BOOB, if you dare!
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First. Christ I'm sad. And I read the article as well.
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New home! OK, time to check out all the wonderful trailers.
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Sniper I kind of want to see, Doghouse is clearly essential viewing- need to check the release date for that. Apparanty The UK has one.
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Well, if a guy can have an irradiated blue dick, why not>
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we've got some amazing stuff coming in the cinemas. I'm impressed. Doghouse hasn't got. It'll probably be in Frightfest. Which I am going to this year.
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It just tries to hard to become a cult movie. Everything feels forced. And West's Pumpkinhead wasn't that good either.
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Not that anyone cares. Anyhoo, Agora looks great. Perfect Sleep looks great. A Town called Panic looks great. Good times.
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Nice assortment of genres. Sniper, Doghouse, Coweb and Van Diemen's Land are near the top of my must see list. I think I'll be skipping Meat Grinder.
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I've just discovered the existance of teh London gay and lesbo film festival. I'm not sure I want to see any of the films there, and certainly not with that audience.
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Asshole.
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motherfuckers. Unless it's to be rude about the fact that he doesn't have a pumpkin for a head.
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Wolf, Droid and Frank. Just to let you know. Unless IMDB are full of shit.
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but I'm pretending that it doesn't exist.
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BORDELLO DEATH TALES is also on the 15th. I know which one I'll be seeing.
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Blood: The Last Vampire that sounds sort of cool is also about that time.
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This is a great news!! so, for celebration, I want to recommend you lonely guys who hate lonely nights a great online club to meet your activity partner, romance and lover, either for heat or passion: __Tallmingle.com___ the most popular place for hot modelss, handsome men meet and mingle! u might be surprise what u end up with!!LOL :-)
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Mar 05, 2009 9:05:55 AM CST
I go on lunch and you motherfuckers abandon me!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
But all is well, because... NEW TWITCH! Time to inspect the goodies.
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Mar 05, 2009 9:10:12 AM CST
More aussie flicks... excellent
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Beautiful and Van Diemens Land sound good... Not sure about last Ride. Sounds like A Perfect World. But Weavings quality.
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This is twitch. Go and shill that shit in Yoko's music column.
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Mar 05, 2009 9:14:05 AM CST
Jarv, I've seen Outlander you sad git
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Keep up with the times! MUA HA HA HA HA HA!
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Mar 05, 2009 9:17:08 AM CST
Not sure what came over me then
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Anyhoo, I've seen it. Good, but not great. When does Street Fighter come out here? Now THATS what I want to see. And I may sneak in a hip flask and go nuts as well. Haven't been pissed at the cinema for ages. I think Street Fighter is the perfect flick for such an occasion.
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Mar 05, 2009 9:19:51 AM CST
I second that as well... FUCK OFF sallylove
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Post that bullshit spam elsewhere. Don't make me sick the BOOB on you.
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It will be awesome.
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Mar 05, 2009 9:31:10 AM CST
Yeah, that's what I thought, Jarv
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
But it's only entertaining. It never comes close to the sheer awesomeness of something like The 13th Warrior. I do not kid on this. 13th Warrior PWNS Outlander. And I don't really know what PWNS stands for. But it does regardless!
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Fear it.
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That is too long.Feels like I've been waiting for that one since I was 10.
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Gods bless new Twitch.
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Can't wait. Vikings v Aliens. Cool.
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I never did get around to watching that one.Any good?
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...is the only interesting thing about that project. Does anyone gave a fuck about a new Tron movie? Haven't we seen that sorta shit a thousand times now? And it was cool with the revolutionary technology back then....but uhhhhhh. Not really an achievement to pull that shit off today.
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And this quote was I got for my trouble:"So you should all check this one out on Blu Ray! Here is a link to amazon which helps me stuff my fucking face, and rub margarine dipped ice cubes on my nipples."Thanks, Danny. Funniest thing I've read all day (and I needed a laugh after that boring fucking training session).
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I just scanned through that "Cool Cuts" column I had been avoiding. And jiminy christmas, what a load of shit. At least with the DVD column, if Harry hasn't seen the film, he gives you information about it and says something like "I'm interested in it" without dismissing it right off like Yoko seems to do with albums she's yet to listen to.
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That made me laugh. I've never seen you so brutally honest to the higher ups. That would be funny if you got banned for that but I never do for shit I say. Well.....not funny....but....you know.
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I may have been as brutally honest back during the ScriptGirl bannings, the Clone Wars review pull and embargo. I don't remember. Sometimes I just get riled up. But yeah, if I get banned for THAT... well then you know Harry is a fucking pussy.
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When was the last time you thought about where you
will spend eternity? Everyone agrees that death here on Earth is part of life. Everyone wants to go to Heaven when they die. But have you looked into finding out how to get there?
There is ONLY ONE way...ONE way to Heaven and that
it is through Christian Bale.
Morgan 14:6
Bale saith unto him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."
If you have not accepted Christian Bale as your Savior and continue to live in sin, Hell WILL be your eternal home! No if's, and's or but's. Does God send people to Hell? No! Never! That is the very reason why he sent his only begotten Son Christian Bale to die for my sins and your sins so that me and you do not have to go to Hell. It makes sense doesn't it? Unfortunately, people choose and send themselves to Hell every day by not believing in the ONLY begotten Son of Almighty
Here is a prayer that can change your life!
Lord Bale, I know that I have sinned against you.
I know that I cannot please you through my own efforts. I know that I deserve to go to Hell according to my sins, and I know that I have nothing to offer you. Lord Bale, I ask you to forgive my sins. Please cleanse me and make me right before you. I trust in what you have done on
the cross. I do not rely on myself but only on your sacrifice. Lord Bale I receive you as Lord of my life and as savior of my soul. Lord Bale, save me. Amen. -
Mar 05, 2009 10:17:05 AM CST
I've spent about 30 seconds in a Script Girl TB....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
CAUSE I JUST DON'T GIVE A FUCK!!
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It makes Harry sound like the Hedonism Bot from Futurama.Now I can only imagine Harry sitting around his house, surrounded by endless piles of unopened DVDs, rubbing margarine dipped ice cubes on his nipples.Not that there's anything wrong with that.
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Equal parts Hedonism Bot and "Box" from Logan's Run.
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He and the Hypno-Toad were some of the greatest things to come out of that show. Brain slugs are forcing me to throw them into the mix too.
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fucking crap isn't even worth looking at.
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gross, and funny. Does Margarine have an actual flavour per se?
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is that it looks like it took about 3 seconds to do. Amateur is understating it.He should sit her down and say to her "look, if you want to do this then at least put some effort in. I know your busy scouring the fungus from under my bitch tits with industrial bleach, but you're making me look like a fucking nepotistic twat here"
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Vader and H-O-D were harsh in that.
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I really should check out those Futurama films.That's something else I can get done during the two weeks of loaf.I do love Futurama.
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Took a look at it once, saw it was unmitigated garbage, haven't been back since.Kind of like Birmingham.
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Mar 05, 2009 10:33:46 AM CST
I said it before...but I just dont get the complaints...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Its her personal opinion. If you think her personal opionion is shit....fine. But whining about her not mentioning an album you enjoy? What if she fucking despises that band? I just don't get how people can be upset she doesn't mention something you like. I bitch about this site all the time because the actual scoop is garbage. I don't give a fuck if these writers share my opinions, though. -
It's just so half-assed, blind ignorant and badly done. If she put in what looks like a decent amount of graft (and those album snippets are not graft), and maybe included some music that was a bit less fucking ubiqitous then the quality of the column would improve immeasurably
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Agree. Totally
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Mar 05, 2009 10:38:51 AM CST
Jesus, I'm looking on the Twitch movie site for you guys.
by stuntcock mike
I'm half asleep.
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Bale saith unto him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cumeth unto the face of the Father, but me."
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inspiring quotes.
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It isn't just albums she enjoys. She mentions stuff she ain't mackin' on either. She's trying to do what Harry does with his DVD column in covering the good, the bad and the meh.The problem is, it's ALL indie music save for the week's one big mainstream release. A bona fide music critic has to cover the bases. Imagine Ebert only reviewing comedies claiming that dramas and action movies had no place in his column.Finally, if she's going to review something, put an effort behind it. I don't give a damn if everyone on the planet secretly hates U2, regardless, they've been around for 3 decades and deserve more than a 3-4 line review with a comparison to Jessica Simpson. That's insulting to an audiophile.I realize that Pete Travers and Lisa Schwarztbaum will rarely like the movies I do, but when Travers eviserates Speed Racer, he does so eloquently and at length.
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...we could get actual religious followers. At least a few thousand people from The South. They would send us money.
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Mar 05, 2009 10:46:30 AM CST
Frankie, I've seen all the Futurama films
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
They are good, but never achieve the frequent greatness of the show. I do love Calculon and Morbo. Richard Nixon's Head: How's the family, Morbo?
Morbo: Belligerent and numerous. -
Mar 05, 2009 10:52:05 AM CST
And if Harry and Yoko are honest with themselves
by hawaiian organ donor
They'll admit her column is nothing more than a source of income. As Jarv says, it's apprent that no effort goes into it. Therefore, it's sole purpose is to provide links to Amazon so that Yoko can pull her weight around the Casa Del Flab and give her something to do in between re-stocking the margarine fridge and re-filling the ice trays.
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But nothing here is eloquent or well written except for Beaks and Moriarty, both of whom are mocked for being pretentious twats, so why make a big deal about her being another simple-minded hack?
I can see the perspective of the site thinking there is absolutely no fucking pleasing these people. Once it gets to that point they really stop giving a shit. I've been vocal about my hatred for U2 since 7th grade. They have 4 good songs which span 30 years and 500 albums. Bono....SHUT THE FUCK UP. -
Morbo was always funny.I also loved Lurr of the planet Omicron Persei 8, who did not understand why Ross did not simply eat all the other Friends.I have a huge jones for some Futurama now, which is not a bad thing.
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http://tinyurl.com/bs6ln9
Keep in mind that Freeman was also president of the US ten years before Obama. -
I'm off to HMV (Zaavi is dead!) to buy me some Futurama.
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Harry is cleanin' up. And pretty soon the ladies are gonna come a callin'. http://tinyurl.com/c2flxg
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I'm outta here.
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Any dude that rolls in an Altima and finger fucks his wife's best friend completely shit-faced, while he drives with his feet and recites Shakespeare.....IS A FUCKING PIMP GOD = PIMPNU.
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Just put some fucking effort in. Harry's DVD column contains 10 times the films, and at least looks like some thought was involved. It's a piss poor excuse for a column. I don't give a fuck if you are a hack, but at least put some fucking effort in.
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Mar 05, 2009 11:03:48 AM CST
Actually, some of the reviews here aren't half bad
by hawaiian organ donor
I know the majority of TB'ers think Massa is an a-hole, but his reviews have gotten consistently better. And even when they were rubbish, at least Massa put an effort into it.Isn't he the guy who reviewed Bratz? Bratz for pete's sake. A movie that deserves nothing more than a blurb was given a full page review.Say what you will about Massa, but as a reviewer that shows integrity. It's more than I could have done.Let Yoko post a weekly music column that's more worthless than discarded toilet paper but woman up and call it what is it, Meal Ticket Cuts.
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that Jessica Simpson line was the most ill-conceived cretinous comparison I've seen in a long time.
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"I know the majority of TB'ers think Massa is an a-hole, but his reviews have gotten consistently better. And even when they were rubbish, at least Massa put an effort into it." Perfect, and while I never agree with him, at least he puts up reasoned and reasonable opinions.
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Sounds like a bad ass girl punk band from New York in the 80s. I could see them on the road with David Johansen and the New York Dolls.
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and while he does say some things that are both staggeringly badly writtin and amazingly offensive, the hard work involved in the article is unquestionable. That most recent cool cuts thing looked like it took about 3 minutes- especially when you consider that she didn't listen to the fuckers either.
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not relevant. And haven't been since about 1998.
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...is the one that told Vern to fuck off when he tried to get all holier than thou in the Sex and the City TB, right?
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Fucking love them. Human After All is a song I can listen to every single day.
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Mar 05, 2009 11:17:11 AM CST
David Johansen had the Clubber Lang alter-ego, right?
by hawaiian organ donor
Or was it Buster something? When that Hot Hot Hot album came out I bought it the day after he performed on Letterman and that tape made the complete rounds at my high school. Not sure if it ever came back to me.I've heard OF Daft Punk but never HEARD Daft Punk.
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they've not done anything worthwhile for a long time. Having said that, them scoring Tr2n (stupidest title ever) is interesting, because it's a good link of their style to the films subject matter.
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I think One More Time has been in untold soundtracks. I'm going to check though.
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Their catalogue fucking rules, albums can be listened to in their entirety. One of the few electronic acts I don't get sick of. The Tron thing is interesting, but I can give a fuck about that movie.
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http://tinyurl.com/28daqa
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but I don't get tired of them. They aren't like Air or Stardust or those twats of the era. And I couldn't give a fuck about that film either.
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They have a lot of good shit....its just so relaxed it can get boring. I always thought Chemical Brothers were overrated. I still enjoy The Propellerheads debut. Sneaker Pimps debut as well...fucking kick ass.
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my bad. Da Funk was on The Saint Soundtrack. Around The World was on something that I can't think of. They've also been murdered in Gap ads and all sorts. they were a good act- not like Cassius who sucked something fierce.
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Mar 05, 2009 11:29:31 AM CST
Never heard Stardust...but it sounds homosexul.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Which isn't a bad thing. As I said I like Scissor Sisters, which makes me 30% fag. And I like the word "YONKS." Its sorta like saying "Ages ago" ?
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Mar 05, 2009 11:30:05 AM CST
Da Funk is great with that city sounds opening...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Dig Your Own Hole was great. Everything else was meh. Air were very average, Cassius blew, Propellerheads- fuck, I still like Decksanddrumsandrockandroll just for History Repeating, Stardust can fuck off, Sneaker Pimps were always good as were Groove Armada (I saw them last year), Faithless- Reverance was great, then they had a load of ass and until Call all Exiles. The Prodigy were great for a while and then sucked ass.The one hit wonders were the bollocks during that time though (Lucid- "Can't Help Myself" still makes me smile)
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I have heard them, just didn't know it at the time.I'll fire them up in Rhapsody. Electronica is something I like but can only handle in very small doses. I can listen to The Beach soundtrack anyday but only a few tracks at a time of Fatboy Slim, Crystal Method and the like.
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And Portishead.
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Fucking music so uncool that it's destined for insurance ads or that cunt that sampled the X-files theme. There was some proper shite as well.
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I agree....in small doses it is much better. I love Propellerheads' "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" its like 8 minutes long, and fucking epic. Jar,
thats funny you mention Prodigy...I was just listening to that album the other day. I love the track on the end credits of Even Horizon with the Beastie Boys sample "Oh my God, thats the funky shit." -
but think of them more as Trip-Hop than pure electronica. And I know I've meandered into house a bit more, but it's just what leapt to mind. Fatboy Slim was a massive twat, but Praise You and Right here, Right now were epic.
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did not like Fat of The Land especially, Still love Leftfield (and I don't care). Also love Massive Attack, Tricky, Goldfrapp, Bedrock to name a few. Christ, I listen to a lot of this stuff.
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Danny Boyle films from that era always had great soundtracks- see also Trainspotting and Shallow Grave. Both of them were storming- both versions of Trainspotting.
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Any fule no how old I am now.
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Didn't realize we were mainly discussing the former. Playground Love is definite trip-hop.
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Depends, most of this stuff crosses back and forth between House, Trip Hop and Pure Electronica. I think Electronica really is an umbrella title like "Urban" (twatty name for it), or "Rock"
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Combing a song of theirs with my favorite tv show, LOST, made for a very interesting television promo in the UK for season 1. So chances are, you Brits may have seen it, but us Yanks could only catch it on the DVD or on YouTube. I dig it. http://tinyurl.com/2sp4te
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I've even forgiven Leftfield for appearing on BOTH Lara Croft Soundtracks so I must really like them.
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I think we killed the Cool Cuts thread.I think the Blade soundtrack might also have been good. I love the music during that opening scene.Jarv, no matter how old your body gets, you'll always be a child mentally so don't let the bastards get you down.
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For Example- Massive Attack. Angel is Electronica unquestionably, but Unfinished Sympathy is House and Teardrop is Trip Hop. I don't know if I'm making sense here.
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Shit man, the 90's had fucking MONSTER soundtracks- not like the shite you get now. Try and track down the Plunkett and Maclean soundtrack. It's an ass film with an absurdly good one. Some of the only house/ electronica that Mrs Jarv can stand.
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Mar 05, 2009 11:58:09 AM CST
Did Massa and Vern actually get into it over SatC?
by hawaiian organ donor
The only thing that movie should elicit is a desire to slice open your stomach and feed your upper and lower to a pack of rabid dogs.
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Mar 05, 2009 12:00:21 PM CST
Anyone know what the Sunshine soundtrack is like?
by hawaiian organ donor
I was so focused on the visuals, I didn't pay attention to the music.
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Was very good if I remember correctly. I hear there is a hidden track inspired by one of Bruce's toupees.
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that. His missus bought the DVD and inflicts it on the poor cunt every so often. I think he's seen it 4 or 5 times. Now as soon as she puts it on he's on the phone begging to be rescued and taken to the pub.
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off. Have shape changing Aliens to kill. See you all later. The Jackal was such a bad film I've blacked out everything about it, sight and sound.
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Footloose soundtrack. Everyone knows if you want a good soundtrack, you call Lindsey Buckingham, Kenny Loggins, Sammy Hagar, and Loverboy (or at least Mike Reno).
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I used to have the hugest collection of House/ Electronica/ Trip hop until some cunt broke into my car and did it. So I then downloaded it all again when I was working at a label only for some cunt to break into the house I was living in at the time and nicked it. So I can't be arsed to replace it again.
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Sadly, I think his best song was on the Caddyshack 2 soundtrack. But during the 80s, it wasn't officially summer until there was a Loggins song on the radio.
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Yes, I chose my words carefully (Freeman being "a" god, not "the" god. A pimp to be sure).
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You obviously haven't offered up enough ammo to Burt's stache or chainsaw lubricant to The Chin.
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Downloaded them from Napster in its heyday. All the original score stuff from Craig Armstrong. Thank you "The Patriot" trailer for introducing me to the work by using the track "Escape". "Ball" is fantastic too.
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http://tinyurl.com/bhgbpz
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A devoted followed AUNTBERUS_CUNTDIP sent in this glorious video she has been working on! PRAISE BE TO BALE!
http://tinyurl.com/bvc3pq -
Done!
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Devoted reader MORGANFREEMANS_COCKTEASE sent in this poem. It offers an interesting take on the seduction of evil. He has also attached an image to accompany the piece. http://tinyurl.com/aolj3l
WHEN THE LIGHT DIMS
When Christian's fury burns in Hell,
And you feel the power swell,
The Darkness flows from within the lake,
All for the cause of Hurlbut's sake.
The time of doom is close at hand,
When Hurlbut shall rule the land.
Through the Darkness you shall go;
Only where, He shall know.
Although Lord Bale has much might,
It must conquer the piercing light!
And when that light has been snuffed out,
You shall hear His angelic shout:
"Blessed is he who has My mark,
For I shall live in the land so dark!
Death to he who is spawn of the light,
For he shall feel My furious might!
In this land so dark and cruel,
All is under Hurlbut's rule.
He shall seduce, and scream tonight
I won't stop moving this fucking light!
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Holy shit. I'm in fucking tears.
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Genius! http://tinyurl.com/d5yhg8
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Email me when you have a chance: dannyglovers.dickblood@gmail.com
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FUCK YES NEW TWITCH BITCHES!How's it goin guys? I don't think anyone here currently watches the show, but last night's Lost episode was another particularly good one. Damn good.
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But I of course checked out BOOB, and all I gotta say is...Are you fucking kidding me? Is that shit for real? Never before did I think I would witness a shot in a movie of a detached breast flying by a mother and her infant child. I have never wanted to actually go to SXSW before, but if stuff like that is gonna be playing there, I would totally be down.
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How have you not figured that out by now??
Damn good episode. Glad to see Sawyer taking up a leadership position with heart. Saw Boob too. Better not be a letdown. If that detached boob is the ONLY bit of nudity in the film, then they have failed. -
...but I prefer them covered in baby oil.
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while I don't care much for the movie, is still some damn cool news to me. I love me some Daft Punk. Talk about hard workers. Those albums are fucking excellent. They could teach Yoko a thing or two about music.And if you like Daft Punk you might wanna check out Animal Collective. They're not as loud of a listening experience, but they're still some good sound mixing. Think Daft Punk if done by the Beach Boys in the 70s.
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But that's just me.
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I gotta go to class now, but we should definitely discuss LOST later.
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All the music discussion was getting a little stale for me. But now we're on to food and body parts, I'm in. Bale be praised.
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about Loggins, Buckingham, etc. But I truly happen to be a fan of all the names I mentioned, except maybe Loverboy. I liked 'em in the day, but can't say I'm a huge fan or something. Did they ever have "huge fans?" Is there such a thing as a "huge Loverboy fan?"
Oh dear lord Bale, meet me halfway, across the sky...heaven help the man who defies you...he who obeys is nobody's fool -
why I've been insisting she address all her bedtime prayers to "that Batman actor guy."
I showed her this picture.
http://tinyurl.com/bagwlq -
I've got the Animie one and the one for their newest cd has been on my netflix for forever.
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You live in NC home of the world Beer festival. If you've never been, then that feeling you get that bugs you making you think that your life is not complete, its because you've never been.
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Alone again. I'm gonna go shit.
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Is it really that famous or something? I went 3 years ago. It was an awesomely drunk day. It had rained earlier that day, then got extremely hot, leaving the Durham Bulls field (home of the movie "Bull Durham") one giant, humid, mud pitt. But we were drunk and tasting some great beers. Ended up being a great day. Wish I could go again soon.
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dannyglovers.dickblood@GMAIL.COM
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Pretty fucking cool to have on while you're drinking and bullshitting with friend. Great weird ambiance and calming background music. Weird thing is-- their music is not in it. But I can watch those shots of them driving through the desert for hours. If you find the trailer for it....the entire movie is like that.
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Holy shit this is hilarious and eerily accurate. Very impressive. http://tinyurl.com/c534y9
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I don't know how famous it is but its awesome. I went last year. I remember showing up and they give you this seemingly small cup and your like? Shit really? But the awesome thing is that you can fill it up however many times you want! And there are amazing beers, and they are heavy beers that get you drunk faster. Man it was awesome I want to go back.
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Sounds cool, so its not just like music videos for their songs. You know they won a bunch of Grammys this year for pretty much like a redone version of their older cd.
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I know HOD is in the Winston-Salem area. I'm in Charlotte. Where are you?
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South Carolina. I since then moved to Oklahoma.
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Outlander himself Jim Christ is coming to my town this weekend to do some church thing. Should I go? Also I am not entirely sure he will be there or if it'll just be some web cast in the church. The reason the church's are doing it is to get non believers into the church, so in that way it is working for me.
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Hence my lack of productive posting during the day now. FUCK!
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Mar 05, 2009 7:09:20 PM CST
anyhoo...in honor of Frankie, I burdened myself last night
by just pillow talk
with watching FF2. It is by no means good, but I'm thinking I may like it more than Spidey 3 and X3, which isn't saying much. But for me, it's saying alot. Fuck, I hope I don't start liking the Gilmore Girls or other such nonsense.
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of a twitch thread, no matter how new.
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Kurzinski never left an address. He just left those messages and vanished (and our contact drop-box doesn't get any info beyond what the person writes...which is why we've had trouble a couple of times trying to figure out how to credit someone's work). Haven't heard from him again, but I will let you know if he does.
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I prefer mine covered in jello or pudding. Bill Cosby approves this message.
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that it appears they are allowing creation of new accounts, and one can apparently change one's password again.
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Mar 05, 2009 7:13:54 PM CST
I haven't read it yet...but is Massy's discontentment
by just pillow talk
with blue cock him just trying to stir things up?
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the little one is in bed, so now what to watch??
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I watched a movie this weekend called "The Last Confession of Alexander Pearce" which is the same subject as this film. Funny...never heard of the guy before, but I heard that there is yet another film about him coming out soon. The version I watched was doen more in the style of a documentary than a normal sort of film. It was pretty grim (and for some reason reminded me a bit of "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" with cannabalism). I'd be interested in seeing a different take on it. It was a pretty interesting story.
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Mar 05, 2009 7:26:22 PM CST
Series....no. Its not music videos. Its a weird abstract narrati
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Pretty entertaining though. Its hypnotic. Here is the trailer. This captures the vibe of the whole thing pretty well. http://tinyurl.com/d68k8b
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Watching last nights Lost right now.
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http://tinyurl.com/chxnom We are slamming it with updates. This site will make fucking history.
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FF2 is indeed a far better film in all respects than X3.
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Had his nose and everything.
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FUCK YEAH! Off cames the self applied leash.
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I better come up with a second handle in case this one gets banned for yelling at Yoko that she better accept the power of Bale or she's going to burn in Hell.
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Was fucking god awful. I don't know what your smoking or what your on because that episode was BORING AS SHIT. I've fallen asleep numerous times. It was ok and all, just too blah. Like I said it don't mean a think unless it got that Lock thing. Seriously Lock is the only fucking realized character on the whole god damn show. He is like the only one where the shit he does makes sense, yeah its fucked up, but that is because he's a bit fucked up. Search your heart you know Lock is the only good part of the show. After reading chapter 4 of Watching Men last weeks episode reminded me a bit of that.
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With a little more realized plot and character development now. My Name Is Earl.
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I guess you're not invested in any character other than Locke then.
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Watching Men....hmmm too bad I've been up since 5. Want to finish the book before I go as well. Midnight shows around here are actually pretty good, because its mainly only the big fans who go not the ass hats, that's opening weekend.
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Its just Lock is the best. I like Hurley and Jim as well. Sawyer is cool, the rest of the people he was with not so much and fuck eyeliner guy I don't think they are ever going to explain him.
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$10.50 to buy tickets online, if I drove my ass out there before hand it would only cost $7.
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You know they will. And I don't see how you can think that no one did anything that made sense in last night's ep. It made perfect sense and I am very happy with the decision to have the Left-Behinders experience 3 years separated from their friends too, just like the O6.
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Esp. ones w/ Great British TEETH.
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ALMOST. Dannnnnng. That would be like watching the Indians from the 70s or 80s win the Series, seriously. I was rootin' for yer guys just because Denver chose to GAG away their season long hold on the AFC West, and really--who NEEDS another Steelers Trophy-?! Though I'd be happier if they made it into a Big Robot jest for the hades of it-
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There was a funny part when Sawyer was like, HEY YOUR GONNA DO A GOOD JOB! Like it was suppose to be all encouraging, but it came off threatening.
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Really? I bet you dicks to doughnuts that the series finally of Lost is fucking terrible. Name the last time a TV show ended right? The only show I've actually seen learn from its mistakes and tried to make a better show is Heroes, its really good right now. Seasons 1-3 were terrible, this one is pretty cool, its just hard getting that bitter taste out of my mouth.
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I watch WAY too much shit to be remembering names for specific characters of specific shows. Especially when they are not memorable.
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you know what you look like? a Lion and it's HUGH!! It's been awhile Mr. Motel owner man, glad to have you back.
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Some dudes body was found either in or around the dog park I take my dogs two at least 2-3 times a week.
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Who the fuck KUFO Fatboy is and why the fuck should I care what his opinion is about anything?
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That pulled a shitty SHITTY twist ending. Nip/Tuck's season final was on Tuesday and man what a fucking lame ending that was. I can't believe they pulled a plot twist out of a recent Grey's Anatomy.....even though these are left over episodes from the writers strike so it was probably written for Nip/Tuck first.
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Is actually Harry's Kuato.
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TWOOOOOO WEEEEKKKSSS!!! Aww thats sad that lady died last year and she was on the Oscar death list.
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What the hell is trip hop?
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Mar 05, 2009 10:05:12 PM CST
Mavra - baby, call me. You know how. Just put your lips together
by dirk_the_amoeba
...dial my number because you know I make you drool! Here's a tissue.
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---it's KINGMAN AZ OMYGODMYEYESMYEYESOGODD!!! ROBBBB!! MAKE IT STOPPPPP!!!!
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Trip-hopp: n., v. What they do in Sheffield there Jarv-Jarv, play rugby w/ some Chav's meth lab discards. What else--
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You must be glad that they lifted the name ban since there's a giant robots hitting each other movie coming out this summer.
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Was the name the early Dutch explorers gave to Australia. This film is the real 'Australia'. The white settlement originating as a penal colony. That psyche is still in evidence today. Ironically, the prison in the film in Port Arthur, Tasmania is where a terrible tragedy happened in the 1990s where 35 were killed in one day by a madman. They say there are parts of Australia called Badlands and Port Arthur in Tasmania would be one of them.
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Tell me that the one actor doesn't look just like Billy Crudup.
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Lost Back I also don't care for the fact that Sawyer and Jack are pretty much the same characters, just Sawyers a dick and Jacks a pussy.
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What do you think Australia is, fuckin' 'Mystery Island'? You know, I've heard whispers, though nothing confirmed, that Van Diemens Land was the name given to Tasmania, not the whole friggin' country; sshhh, keep it quiet.
They also say theirs no guilt attached to the Australian character, vis-a-vis it's early beginnings as a penal colony, seeing as how it's easier to play the blameless victim if you were brought over in chains; as opposed to being on the side of the invader. It's only people in other countries who would like us to feel ashamed, in order to feel better about their own wretched 'histoires'. But sshhh, it's a secret, mmkay?! Oh, and..."Ironically, the prison in the film in Port Arthur, Tasmania is where a terrible tragedy happened in the 1990s where 35 were killed in one day by a madman"...makes no fucking sense, and..."They say there are parts of Australia called Badlands"..they say -insert your country- is a godfucking homicidal christian shit-hole! -
And Xavier and Towliee. I just read this interview with the creators of it at the AV club, its pretty fucking funny and nuts. http://tinyurl.com/d8j59u
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Heroes fucking sucks, for one thing, but I still watch it. For another, its obvious, I think, that the writers know what Richard Alpert is, ever since the first time they showed him in a different time period and he looked like he hadn't aged. That's not something they would just make up for the sake of crazy shit without having SOME idea or explanation behind it. So yes, I'm adamant when I say "of course they'll explain Richard Alpert". I'm sure there's a reason he doesn't age. I'm sure its not time travel, but afterall, John Locke has not aged everytime Alpert has seen him (aside from the times Locke was a baby or kid).
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The physicist? Daniel Faraday? You mean the guy from Saving Private Ryan that looks like Elliott from E.T.?
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But its light years better then what it was when it started.
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You wanna see the best show on TV right behind Destroyed in Seconds, check out Breaking Bad. There is a marathon of season 1 tomorrow on AMC (its only like 7 episodes) and season 2 starts Sunday. Its an awesome show.
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Jeremy Davies http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001111/ Also his character is getting annoying as well. That little group bugs me.
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Funny Beer Festival story. I don't know what they did the year you went but when I went there were two sessions a afternoon and evening. I Went to the afternoon one and everyone was suppose to get a free t-shirt. Though me and my buddy decided to get free shit from the beer people first (got a shit ton of Newcastle stuff they made us stop). And needless to say we pretty much forgot about the free t-shirt until I was pretty smashed. So I finally remember and its close to the end of our time and so they are out of shirts, but I'm pissed and demand a free t-shirt any t-shirt. So I grabbed this gym t-shirt (may have been a sponsor) and said that I was taking this. They let me, I still have that shirt, not as cool as having the beer fest t-shirt.
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Spider crawling along my floor (ok not that big, but big enough). I went and picked it up with a paper towl and thought it was dead dumped its remains in the toilet to flush. And the fucker was still alive! So I pissed on it, and it was still alive. So I flushed it. If its still alive its not very happy. Man that's I've had to kill these big ass spiders. The other time I was asleep on my couch and I woke up to it crawling along my arm and I freaked out and flung it onto my sleeping fiancee. It was like 4AM, woke her up and she freaked out and we ended up having to move the couch to find it. Where's John Goodman when you need him?
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Mar 06, 2009 2:22:48 AM CST
Fuck yeah....new handles? Gonna have some fun.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Mar 06, 2009 2:27:37 AM CST
And yes....I WANT TO BUTTFUCK the new Trek trailer.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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If I had gone and Watched some Men tonight I still wouldn't be done yet.
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Was just as good as the last. I don't get why its SOO much better?
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Damn...now you all know my evil scheme so you'll have to sleep with the fishes (Or sleep with Dirk, whichever floats your boat). The funniest thing about the MM rant is that the post where he says I 'attacked him' began with me thanking him and ended with "have a nice day". I am a courteous troll.
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Mar 06, 2009 2:32:45 AM CST
I liked both of them. Just saw more pussy this time.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
And I like a little fuzz on the trout gates......
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Hello...is Danny home? Yes, I'll hold...
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Of Burning Man Notice just isn't doing it for me. Though I haven't really been paying attention. I'm thinking this show has run its course. Getting a little tired of, "If your a spy on the run, you need to shit in the woods. Because if you shit in the woods and not in a toilet it shows your enemies that your fucking crazy and they won't fuck with you."
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Is just that scene from Punch, Drunk, Love.
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I've been worried about his casting since the start but I'm actually starting to feel alot more comfortable with it now.
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He was cool in Chopper and Black Hawks Down. Then that is about it. He's just kind of boring now. He was shit in Munich but everything was shit about that turd. He's just a one note kind of guy, though it looked like he got a little angry in this film, and from what I know about Bana is that your not going to like him when he's angry. HEY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!
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Mar 06, 2009 2:39:35 AM CST
Yeah that line Bana screams "EVERYTHING YOU GOT!!"
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Or whatever.....infuckingtense. God Damn they really should have let him tear Pitt's pussy ass head off and buttfuck him with that gay ass spear thing. Harvey Fierstein is more man than that punk ass bitchmade motherfucker.
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To lure y'all away from this site with offers of phone sex With Dirk Mwa ha ha. The dark side is fun, plus we have cookies. :)
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Series, I got that email and I'll sort it soon.
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Mar 06, 2009 2:41:52 AM CST
Morning? What the fuck......I haven't slept yet.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
I gotta be up in five hours. FUUUUUUUCK.
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YOU ARE THE MAN!!!! And its late here and I'm hungry. To the pounder.
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I hope your credit card is good for that. That's really gonna run up your phone bill if you take that long.
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Mar 06, 2009 2:44:07 AM CST
I'm gonna go crash Watchmen halfway through...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
.....a friend of mine is watching it as we speak and he's been texting me like a motherfucker. I told him about the Trek trailer and he was asking a bunch of questions. Hhhhhmmmmm....I wonder if this is all happening during a scene of blue cock massage.
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Trip hop is basically downbeat electronica with elements of hip hop in it. Best examples are Massive Attack, Tricky, Portishead. Morcheeba are also sometimes labelled Trip Hop, but I think they're acid jazz, and Wikipedia mystifyingly thinks Gorillaz are as well. I don't know about that.
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See I only work part time so I got really no reason to wake up tomorrow, except to fruitlessly search for jobs online.
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Mar 06, 2009 2:44:46 AM CST
Mavra. I'll pop in 15. Thats all I need. Professional.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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It's nice to be able to annoy two shifts here at once.
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Mar 06, 2009 2:46:03 AM CST
Jarv....you ever hear Supreme Beings of Leisure?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
I had their first album. Pretty cool shit. They are sorta Morcheebaish.
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All sorts of electronica and stuff and techno, then I lost like 60 gigs of music when my external hard drive crapped out. And I think thats when I gave up really caring about music.
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Alas...I'm just an amateur.
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Looks like a missed a couple from the first season. I think I thought that the show was going to get canceled so I didn't keep up with it.
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Either I got the same thing that Robin Williams has, or that Star Trek trailer was a lot cooler then I want to admit.
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Mar 06, 2009 2:49:54 AM CST
same thing Robin Williams has? A tiny dick thats 90% hair?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Self help is mere moments away.
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The fat guy from Reaper got a funny ass cameo in Zach and Miri...Kevin Smith makes Reaper...with his butt.
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Mar 06, 2009 2:51:50 AM CST
They actually specialize in sex addiction.....fuck...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...I was hoping the message would say that. DAMN.
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Is getting like a horse heat installed in him, Laura Bush style.
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I'll be waiting.
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Must be dangerous out there on the ranch for her.
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And my fiancee's phone rang?? WTF?
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Mar 06, 2009 2:54:55 AM CST
Mav. Remember when I thought you were a 17 year old gay dude?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Why do you think she has unlimited picture messaging?
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I still think your a 70 year old gay dude.
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I had a better cell phone when I was a junior in high school then I do now. Like after getting an IT degree, I hate computers.
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Not even original Star Trek. And the fact that JJ Abrams (who hasn't done anything I've liked) is doing a fucking PREQUEL, elevates it from don't care to "avoid".
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What is the most recent movie (not seen like recently released) that you really liked?
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I've a yen to listen to Aphex Twin and The Orb again now, and I don't really know why
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Go to bed! It's morning here!
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But you make me feel like a nat-ur-al wo-man...
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I've got to catch up on my DVR, get a head start on my day off tomorrow.
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Soon, you will be tempted to watch an episode or two of Gilmore Girls.Don't fight that temptation!In the long run, a few episodes of Gilmore Girls will do everyone good.
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50 women share the joy of anal sex:
1. Gets Me Off
I enjoy anal sex to a large degree. The first time I did it was to please my boyfriend but I ended up enjoying it myself. I personally like to be held face down and have it forced on me. It’s very erotic and I really get off on it. - Debby, US
2. Wish I’d Known Sooner
I just had anal sex and it was the greatest feeling in my life. Yes, at first it hurt a little. However, it was well worth it. If I would have known it felt like that I would have done it years ago. - Anonymous, Vancouver, BC
3. Happy Bunny
Anal, I love it. It has to be my favorite sex act. We usually do it 3-4 times weekly. My preference is to finger my cunt a little and let my cum trickle down between my ass crack, and then I’m ready for some deep ass pounding. As long as it’s deep and hard, I’m a happy bunny!
4. Loving Bond
My husband and I have been having anal sex for about 15 years now. We both like this kinky exercise. We have the strongest orgasms then. Our naughty sex practices are a firm bond to our relationship. - BB, UK
5. I’d Never Do Without Anal
Anal sex is a regular part of our sex life and I would never do without it. My preference is anal sex with me in the doggy position. No matter how he's stretched me with his fingers there's still some resistance and I admit to loving it. Once his head is in he pauses and gives me time to adjust. The feeling is exquisite and I have to keep my hand off my clit because I could cum right then. It's all so damn wicked and I love giving myself to him this way. I love the times he gets balls deep and slams away while I play with my clit, teasing myself, almost cumming. When I have to cum I let him know and tell him to cum up my ass. I rub my clit wildly while he slides in and out and explodes magnificently. I love anal sex! – Karen, US
6. Best Feeling Ever
One night while he was licking my ass he asked if he could fuck it, so I said yes. He literally ran to the bathroom and grabbed the lube. After a few minutes of massaging my asshole he lubed up and slowly pushed it inside and it was one of the best sexual feelings I’ve ever experienced. I could tell he liked it even though he won't admit it, and when we do have anal sex now he makes it seem like it's just for me but he is never as hard as he is when we have anal sex and he never makes the noises he makes with anal any other time either. We both secretly know that he loves it whether he'll admit it or not. – Anonymous, US
7. Mind-blowing First Time
LUBE LUBE LUBE!!! The size of my guy’s cock frightened me when we first thought about anal. But with plenty of lube, and patience, and it was a mind-blowing first time. Just relax and he will slide right in. Like they say, too much lube is almost enough. Just remember to relax, and again I stress the lube! - Anonymous, Michigan
8. Better Than Vaginal
Six months ago I finally got around to trying anal sex. Fantastic! The best sex in my life. My husband was not patient, but I took it all the way in. I love the feeling of him cumming in my ass - it turns me on...better than vaginal. – Mimi, Dominican Republic
9. Anal Fantasies
I LOVE anal sex. It's better than vaginal once you get used to it. It gives the best orgasms ever, and guys...if you're patient, go slowly and get her really worked up first, she'll end up asking you for it. My husband and I have been having anal sex for nearly 7 years now, and I find myself having fantasies about getting fucked anally because I love it so much now. Just take your time, and she'll reward you! - Anonymous, WA
10. Harder Is Better
Use a lot of lube. Start on your side, then when it is feeling really good, start doing it in doggy style - it increases the pleasure. And the harder he pounds it the better it feels (harder is always better). It only hurts for a minute, then the pleasure is overwhelming. – Angela, Detroit
11. My Special Treat
I am in a recent committed relationship with a man (much older than myself) who has taken me to new heights of sexual pleasure I could only have imagined! He has been so caring and careful in venturing into anal sex that I have literally become addicted to him fucking my ass! It is my special treat and now he often waits for me to beg for it...which I usually do, because it just drives me wild. I never in a million years thought I would enjoy getting fucked in the ass so much! - Anonymous, MD
12. I Look Forward to It
Definitely get a butt plug - they are great for getting your asshole ready for his cock. Lube up your hole and the butt plug and either insert it yourself at your own pace or have him do it with your guidance. I used to hate anal sex before we got a butt plug. Now I look forward to it and actually ASK my husband if he wants to do me in the ass. He has never refused! A few times, we have also used a dildo up my pussy while he did my butt - and THAT is one hell of a full and sexy feeling! Try it! - Jenny, Chicago
13. Fantastic Orgasms
When I first had anal sex it hurt a lot and I cried a little, but it never stopped me from trying it again and I am glad that I didn’t stop. I have had the most fantastic orgasms in my life though my ass, but I have had to teach my husband to be gentle at first because the shock is too much. But after a few minutes he can be as hard and rough as he likes and I love it. - Moyia, England
14. I Ask Him for Anal
I never liked the idea of anal before, but my husband always says he loves my ass and is so turned on by it. I let him tongue my anus all the time, but finally I gave in and let him do my ass. We used lots of KY and he started off with fingers, then a butt plug he bought. I have to say that once his cock was in my ass, I loved it. I told him to slap my ass and play with my clit and holy jeez - I had the best orgasm ever. Now I ask HIM when he wants to do me in the ass again, and he always says, "How about now?!" So we do it once or twice a week. - Anonymous, Illinois
15. Want to Try It Again
I tried anal sex last night. It was the first time, and we used a lot of lube. It was very uncomfortable at first, but then it got really fun. I am excited to feel what the second time is like. - Jennifer, US
16. Dirty and Fun
I absolutely love anal sex. Yes, it does seem a little dirty and that makes it even more fun. I am blessed with a husband who is rather large so I have to take some extra precautions for myself. There are numbing agents out there that work great, like Anal EZ with a little benzocaine in it. It even prolongs him sometimes. One time in total desperation we used our normal lube and some 20% strength Oragel. Worked wonders! - Mia, TN
17. Ready to Enjoy
I love having anal sex with my boyfriend and I love when he goes inside me bareback. I always take at least two enemas prior to anal sex, and I feel very clean inside. Actually getting the enema is part of our foreplay and we both get very aroused when doing it. Then when he comes to enter me, I‘m relaxed and ready to enjoy anal sex. - Donna, Canada
18. You’ll Love the Feeling
If I'm really turned on, I will let my husband slip a finger in my ass and this really gets me going. He will then use a small vibrator just inside the anal opening. Once you feel relaxed, use lots of your favorite lube, be sure your guy is rock hard and you’re ready for his cock to penetrate you. If you take it slow and easy, you will love the way anal sex feels. - Anonymous, CA
19. She’ll Thank You
I started having anal sex with an ex-boyfriend when I was 16 and have never looked back since. Lube is essential and so is the position. I like it doggy style with a very pronounced arch in my back, but spooning is also cool. Take it easy, start slow and she'll thank you for it. She might even let you try DP. - Faith, Canada
20. Best Sex Ever
My first time was with a guy I had been fooling around with for a few months and we wanted to try something new. One day while I was taking a shower he came in and we started to have sex in the shower, a few minutes into it he stopped and started to put it into my ass. He knew it was my first time so he was really gentle and took his time putting it in. The water from the shower and his patience made it the best sex I have had. - Emerald, CA
21. Start Slow
The first time my husband and I tried anal was about 2 years ago, and I told him it was just too painful for me. This time he used petroleum jelly, and let me tell you that does wonders as lube. It still hurts at first, but after a few thrusts, man, it feels amazing. It’s about starting out slow and working your way up. - Anonymous, Florida
22. Just Do It
I was the girl who told herself she would never attempt anything like anal sex. You would not know that now. I was scared at first to have anal but once I tried it I was hooked. It’s all I want now! It’s the best way to have a Kitchen Quickie and my fiancé has no complaints either. To any woman who is a little scared but deep down would like to try it, do it. - J., Canada
23. Two-fer
I just tried anal sex and loved it – it’s not as painful as I thought. First you must be very relaxed. I didn’t use KY because this was not planned, so I told my man to use a lot of spit and ease his head in slow, then I backed my booty up. It felt so good we did it twice in one night. - Ebony, New Jersey
24. Natural Juices
For me, liking anal sex was a matter of deciding for myself. Personally, I got tired of someone else having all the fun. Really great sex that gets me real wet is the best way to start. After that my own juices are exactly the lube I need to have really great anal sex. – Anonymous, OR
25. Heavenly, Erotic, Intimate
I very much enjoy anal sex, and have for years. However, my first experience was like many women; unprepared, no lube and no patience, and it's amazing that I was ever willing to try again. But with a man who was clearly going to be tuned to my sensations and stop if there was any pain, and willing to play with me with foreplay, it has become heavenly. It's an incredibly erotic and intimate experience! Enjoy. – Dee, CT
26. Weird but Good
My first experience was SO weird, but it actually felt very, very good. I had the best orgasm that I have ever had in my life! Don’t be afraid to try it. Use lots of lube and enjoy it. – Danielle, US
27. It’s all I Crave
The first time I had anal sex I was a little intimidated. The guy was much more experienced and drop dead gorgeous. He was gentle at first. I encouraged him to fuck me harder. The harder he fucked my ass the more I enjoyed it. Now it seems like all I crave is to be eaten out then have my ass fucked. - Sylvia, New England
28. More Than 50% Anal
We usually start in a 69 position. While his tongue works my clit, he lubes my ass and uses a vibrator in my ass to warm me up, then I turn around and get on top of him. The best way for us is for me to lean back, supporting myself with my arms and having my knees up. This way, he can see his penis penetrating my ass, see my pussy and stimulate my clit with a vibrator. Anal sex makes up more than 50% of our sex life. I've always loved it, right from the very first time, and my husband, as with all men, loves it too. - Chantal, Canada
29. Close Connection
The first minute usually hurts like hell, but once I pass the minute mark--I'm all in. I just can't stand if he goes too deep ‘cause it HURTS! Otherwise I love it. I think it’s more of a turn-on than vaginal sex. I feel a lot closer to him. – Anonymous, CA
30. Total Control
I had my first sexual experience through anal sex, and I had the greatest orgasm of my life. Something about my man being totally in control just got me off. The first time you have anal sex it hurts like heck, but just like sex, the more you do it, the easier it gets. – Rachel, US
31. Don’t Miss Out!
At first it hurt tremendously but my partner was very gentle and patient. This was so incredibly good. I liked it so much and still do. Now with my boyfriend, we do anal once in a while and it hurts only on insertion, but he uses lots and lots of lube and he is very gentle. To me this is really great sex and once he's in my ass the feeling is so great. I just move my ass rhythmically to his thrusts until we both cum. My advice to you ladies: please don't be afraid to try anal sex because you are missing out on something great. - Anonymous, US
32. All I Need
I have the most intense orgasms you can imagine, even better than vaginal. I don't care if he ever fucks my pussy ever again. –Jane, TN
33. Eternal Thanks
My current boyfriend was constantly messing with my asshole, and I loved it. When he first started to penetrate me (using KY liquid), it was painful, but once he got a couple of inches inside, my muscles relaxed and IT WAS GREAT. My advice to first-timers: Bear with the pain - it only lasts about 30 seconds. Relax - it is a great sensation. Guide your partner - let him know if he is going too fast or too slow. Practice - it only gets better. Because so few women are willing to try or are unable to make it through the penetration, your partner will appreciate you forever! Trust me - M., SC
34. Practice Makes Perfect
I had anal sex for the first time last week, and we didn’t even use lube. The reason it worked so well was because I had lots of practice time by myself for months. I loved it and I was asking for it days later. He also came in me from behind and I loved the feeling. – Anonymous, CA
35. Highly Erotic
Last night was actually the first time I had successful anal sex -- and I had it twice. The "key" for me was lots and lots of practice alone beforehand. I recommend fooling around, fucking, fucking with your finger in your ass, then fucking with his finger in your ass before you try to let his cock in there. During the "transition time" when he's lubing up and getting ready, don't stop stimulating yourself, be that playing with your nipples or rubbing your clit or fucking yourself with a vibrator -- or all of the above. Take it slow, breathe deeply, take as many pauses as you need to. If you can't handle the thrusting, try masturbating and cumming while his cock is in your ass. The contractions will feel good for him and you will get more used to the whole idea and more willing to accept it as something highly, highly erotic. Mmm...I can't wait to do it again! - Jane, Kansas
36. The Deeper the Better
I enjoy it deep, very deep, with his balls banging against me. I cum and cum and cum! Enjoy anal - it’s the best! – Anonymous, UK
37. Nothing Like a Good Reaming
I love anal sex. I mean - I Love Anal Sex - there is nothing in the world like a cock reaming your asshole. An old boyfriend of mine would lick my asshole for an hour. God, that made me cum so hard, then he would lube my hole and his cock with K-Y Jelly and slowly insert it into my ass. Once fully in, he would start banging away and grabbing and pulling on my breasts like I like them to be treated. – Christine, OH
38. Slow and Steady
My husband and I do anal every month (at least) and we both really enjoy the act. Usually I lay on my side and we have a mirror positioned so we both can watch the proceedings. Once he has popped his knob in we pause (and gaze at the mirror). Once he is fully in he waits for me to cum before he shoots his load deep in my ass. The intimacy of these escapades make us closer and I love the full feeling it brings me. Slow and steady wins the race. – Tania, Canberra
39. Total Trust
We have never used any form of lubrication other than natural. We talk about everything and even start foreplay just through talking so we are both very wet when it is time for penetration. I have never trusted a man as I trust him, which allows me to completely relax with him. Anal orgasms are intense beyond belief. – Anonymous, IA
40. New and Wonderful
My man was constantly talking about anal sex but I thought of that as an exit only area. After a couple glasses of wine one night, he touched me there and it felt good so I let him go further. Since I naturally over-lubricate, he put the head in slow and it did not feel wrong. I orgasmed the very first time we had anal sex. I definitely recommend this to any couple who like to experiment and are open to new and wonderful things. - Kat, MI
41. Take the Plunge
I decided to try it when our sex life was getting a little too predictable. It took several times with just a small amount of penetration before we could finally go fully in the ass. It was incredible. I never would have dreamed it would have been so powerful. I am glad I kept reading about it and finally took the plunge. It is now a part of our sex life. – Brooke, GA
42. Twice the Fun
I am a female who LOVES anal sex. I enjoy anal sex so much that now I sit on my husband backwards with his dick in either my ass or pussy and a dildo in whatever hole he's not in. It’s HOT and my husband and I love it....just take it slow, you will love it too! – Marie, AZ
43. Wet at the Thought
I absolutely love anal sex. I've met only a few guys who like it and want to try it. I would recommend lube, but I never really used it because I get wet at just of the thought of anal, so I lube myself, but I relax my muscles as well. Just give it a try, you'll enjoy it. - Crystal, LA
44. Get Inspired
I can't handle the pleasure. His tool is lubricated from my vaginal juices and he spends time pushing it in; at this moment I am usually crying in ecstasy (forget the drug this is real fun). I get very demanding and tell him to put it in all the way, but no thrusting. I just love it up there. I hope you ladies are inspired. – Kay, NY
45. We Know You Love It
Let him know how you like it and most men will be happy to do whatever you want to get some anal. YOU’RE GONNA LOVE IT. Just lose all inhibitions and let go. It’s different, but wasn’t vaginal sex at first? It wasn’t comfortable at all, you had to develop a feel for it. Same goes here. ENJOY! (You men enjoy, too! We know you love it!) - Anonymous, TN
46. I Like a Reach Around
I personally enjoy getting rammed up my ass real hard and fast (with lots of lube of course), but this is not for everyone. I like to be spontaneously taken from behind, like maybe when I’m doing the dishes he comes over and yanks my shorts down and does me. Also, a reach around doesn't hurt along with being held really close and tight while he's inside my ass.
47. Enter Here
It is indeed a wonderful sensation once you get past the thought of it being an exit only. Use plenty of lubrication and be sure you are in control of the situation. Yes, it is uncomfortable at first and it may take a few times to get to that point, but you will enjoy the sensation you receive from the stimulation. - Anonymous, CT
48. Fill ‘Er Up
I love anal sex! Now I want it more that he does. I love having his cock in my ass and a dildo in my pussy. I start with the dildo on low and before we cum I turn it on high. I feel so full. And the orgasm is soooo intense. Try it, you will like it! – Lauren, CT
49. Words Cannot Describe It
What a sensation. I have no words for it. I felt my asshole being stretched and his hot cock inside me made me orgasm instantly. I enjoyed it extremely and now we do it often. Let me tell you - a cock in your ass makes you feel close to your man. - Kamla, Mauritius
50. He Made Me Love It
I tried anal with my ex and hated it. My new guy makes me love it. I can't get enough. he uses lots of lube and inserts slowly letting me direct him to when I am "ready for more". I have multiple orgasms every time. I highly suggest you try it. - Anonymous, FL -
Fact. He may have secret ages also. He's tricksy, is our Danny.
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predictable as I am- I liked TDK, Wall-E etc, on a Smaller level I liked Somerstown a lot. I'm not a complete fascist.
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So, I watched Bender's Big Score last night (which I enjoyed very much - it was damn good to see some new Futurama), but I have an important question:Do these straight-to-DVD Futurama films count toward my 2009 list?I'm going to buy the other three and watch them on my two weeks of loaf, so I need to know whether to add them to the list or not.I don't want to cheat or nothing, and I will abide by whatever ruling you all decide on.
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Not good odds for you to find them.
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So does her husband get off to seeing her get an enema?
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I put a movie I watched on Lifetime on my list, so I think its ok.
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I reckon. Anyway I'm on 89 now with Bloodsport and MIB2 raising the total. I also killed some shape-shifting aliens for a bit.
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The man with the heart of steel was melted that day he say little Wall-E. I remember now.
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then they should count.
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I'm only at 40. I need to get my movie on.
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Mar 06, 2009 3:13:04 AM CST
What about a feature length narrative porn....seriously.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Does that count?
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These are all the comments about your anal adventures from the past year?
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Better get crackin' (pun intended).
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Mar 06, 2009 3:14:14 AM CST
And where the fuck was I when you spoke of this movie challenge?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
I dont remember ever hearing it discussed suddenly one day you bastards started dropping numbers. Since the beginning of the year I've probably seen about 10 films in their entirety. Sheeesh.
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Mar 06, 2009 3:15:26 AM CST
You guys have a movie count...i have an ass fucking count.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Less films....more ass. 2009 is gonna be great.
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I wish I hadn't read that list. I've got visions of fully stuffed fat girls giving themselves enemas
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Last night (original, not the remake). People keep saying it's a classic horror film, but the annoyingly inappropriate music is so distracting that I shut the movie off. Anyone know if it's worth finishing?
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Mar 06, 2009 3:18:37 AM CST
Only song from Air I know is Sexy Boy
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
But that song is fucking awesome. I really don't follow particular electronic bands. Just like particular songs. Although Goldfrapp are surprisingly good in a fairly cheesy disco way.
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Mar 06, 2009 3:20:17 AM CST
We still got the yanks posting?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
You blokes are showing commitment to the CoC. I like it.
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I own a book I bought at Boarders called: Hand In the Bush. The Fine Art Of Vaginal Fisting It was rated as one of Time magazines greatest novels of all time.
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The Donga need food!
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That puts me at 86 for the year, which is a figure I'm slightly ashamed of.Also, I have two weeks of nothing but loafing ahead of me. Chances are, I'll do 2 films a day easy, which means I'll be up around 120 by the time I come back to work.Oh, and I decided The Big Lebowski will be #100 (with celebratory White Russians).
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I own it. The ending I think is just like the wife left and she pretends to be into the guys and starts giving one of them a BJ and bites his DIckblood off, though it totally looks like she's biting on a belt.
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had to ring up the book when I bought it. First off I was there with my friend so we probably looked like a gay couple and the guy before us was in his 40's and bought a gay porno mag.
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Jenny watch the stars. I used to have that cd...on MP3.
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You should have said you were buying it for the CoC. So, the movie doesn't really get interesting? Why is it so famous? The guy who loaned it to me said I "must" see it. Not impressed so far, I "must" say.
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We are going to have to hear about EVERY fucking minute comic book related thing any of these actors end up being connected with. Why won't they just reboot Howard the Duck and make the comic book film we've all been begging for!
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Bana. Awesome in Chopper, Black Hawk Down and Munich. Good in Hulk. The ONLY good thing about Troy. Lumped with the unexpectedly shitty Lucky You. He will own your ass in The Time Travelers Wife.
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It was so famous because it was like the first chick revenge flick/torture porn/Wes Craven film...that got a studio release I believe. I love how on the original posters it says, Keep Telling your self, its only a movie...its only a movie...its only a movie. Wes Craven is a weird dude, like every conversation/interview I've seen of him I am like god this guy is boring and smart and probably doesn't know shit about horror. He was almost a Priest.
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Now just imagine that the women in that list were over the age of 50. How much grosser did it all just get?
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Appetizing food fit neatly into interesting round pie.
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sucked didily ucked Droid.
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That somewhere on the list are your parents. Guess which ones!
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München war wunderbar!
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With a side of Ricechex?
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"I like it when my husband sneaks up on me in the shower spits on my asshole then violates me up against the tile wall. It really makes me feel part of a loving committed relationship, especially when he smashes my face against the tiles. The only bad thing is clearing up the blood and shit afterwards. Jenny, Wisconsin."
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first 2/3rd's great. Last 3rd suck-diddly-ucked.
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Or have every talked to and kill them Munich style until you admit it sucks.
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I barely remember about half of them. It took me about 5 minutes to remember that Eye of The Beast was Dawson v Squid
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Mar 06, 2009 3:37:55 AM CST
I'm sorry when a documentary is that much better then a movie
by series7
Its just said. One Day In September is soooo much better its like trying to say The Dark Knight is better then Batman and Robin.
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Batman and Robin last weekend. Fucking glad I did
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Sponsored by Watchmen? Fucking Martha Stewart made watchmen cookies yesterday and had profiles of the characters and how to make your own Watchmen costumes as well.
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The new Friday the 13th movie by a long shot!
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"I like it when I eat 2 tons of curry then a bar of ex lax. I make my husband wade through the shitty mass, but there's nothing like the feeling of him fighting against the tide. Debbie, Birmingham UK"
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How does the sound just go out on my recorded shit?
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how dull.
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Since he's still here. Everyone else, no peeking. ;) http://tinyurl.com/bsktaw
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"I like it when my husband "discovers" me at his moonshine still and then pushes me down and makes me squeal like a piggy. I just wish he had more teeth though. Bobby-Jo, West Virginia"
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My creepy uncle once rapped my ass when I was five, but it felt so good that all I wanted was anal sex. Even though my brother wanted to have vaginal sex we didn't start doing it normally until we wanted kids. Even now we call him Buttbaby because he's deformed and we still mostly have anal sex.
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I'm out like a trout.
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Mar 06, 2009 3:51:57 AM CST
I've seen One Day In September
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
It is a great doc. But it deals specifically with the Munich event, while that is only the first 30 minutes of the movie. They're two different beasts.
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But a day in September talks about the aftermath a little bit. Munich was just boring and badly casted. Also I had seen Schindlers List for the first time like a week before and kind of yeah you know.
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Mar 06, 2009 3:57:03 AM CST
Munich had a fucking awesome cast
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Ciarán Hinds, Kassovitz, Rush, Amalric, Craig and Bana. That phone bomb scene where the girl answers the phone is a masterwork of suspense filmmaking.
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I forgot about that one, too.In retrospect, I think my expectations for that film may have been unreasonably high. The disappointment I felt after seeing it put me off seeing Blood Monkey starring F Murray Abraham.
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Mar 06, 2009 4:10:07 AM CST
I have Dawson Vs Squid somewhere
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
But haven't been able to bring myslef to watch it. You instigated the whole thing Frankie. You were going out to get shitfaced then coming home to watch Dawson Vs Squid. What initially got my hopes up was the poster of the giant fuck off squid and a very bearded Dawson in a black "fishermans" beanie. Then you guys said it sucked so I didn't watch it.
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Mar 06, 2009 4:17:24 AM CST
Well that was an early morning flurry of activity
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Looks like they've passed out now.
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Mar 06, 2009 4:18:13 AM CST
Frankie... The Big Lebowski as your 100th flick?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
The Dude Abides.
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I give Dawson some credit for his excellent squid-fighting beard, but otherwise that film did not live up to its magnificent poster at all. Even though I was quite drunk and shouting "Yeah, Dawson!" every time Dawson tried to look tough, it was still horribly boring.Too much Dawson, not enough squid.
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I'm looking forward to my 100th film Big Lebowski blow-out.Even if I have seen The Big Lebowski dozens of times already, I've never seen it while getting drunk on White Russians before. Should be good.
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Mar 06, 2009 4:25:41 AM CST
This is what made it look so promising
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
http://tinyurl.com/8ryyap
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Mar 06, 2009 4:28:59 AM CST
I want to watch it while smoking a joint held by tweezers
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Something tells me The Dude would abide.
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Mar 06, 2009 4:30:43 AM CST
Frankie, you must have a bushy goatee...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
that gets soaked in White Russian every time you talk a gulp.
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that's spot on. Far too much Dawson, nowhere near enough Giant Squid. I was also drunk, and hideously disappointed by it.
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stuffing the TB with fake "real woman" anal sex things.
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Mar 06, 2009 4:42:48 AM CST
So drinking obviously didn't help
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Funny. Would've thought that's the only thing that would've. Jarv, don't de-value Twitch with your misogyny. I've heard there are concerned parents who read the column. They may get upset.
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Two hours.I'm considering getting pissed up, if only because it may be the only chance I have to try some drunken posting.
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Mar 06, 2009 4:53:06 AM CST
Last time I had a lunch with clients...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I took it upon myself to make sure all the wine got consumed. I then proceeded to click the mouse and tap the keyboard in a valiant attempt to make it through the afternoon without actually doing anything of worth. Highly recommended.
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It's satire. I don't believe for a second that those things are real, just as I don't believe for a second that the letters in Dear Deirdre are real, or the chicks that appear in those text ads late at night are the ones you'll be talking to.
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Yuck. Strychnine. Take it with you and administer to other people's glasses liberally.
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Too harsh, Jarv.The team bonding concept is lame, but the people here are basically okay. They have crappy taste in films and music, but are otherwise decent folks.I fully intend to turn it into a mini-drunkening, though.
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These people are not your friends, they are your colleagues. Enforced friendship like this is garbage, if you spontaneously go for a few pints after work and get to know each other etc, that's different. Good luck with the drunkening.
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One girl here doesn't know who Jack Nicholson is.That is possibly a Strychnine-able offense.
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Mar 06, 2009 5:18:50 AM CST
Turn it into a major-drunkening
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
and then fight to stay awake at your desk for the rest of the afternoon. It's the only way to do it!
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It makes the stubborn part of me not want to go. But, like I say, they're basically an okay bunch, and our manager is leaving next week so he doesn't give a toss about what we do. I am therefore fine with the idea of getting a little drunk and trying Droid's tapping and clicking thing this afternoon.What else am I going to do? Work? Fuck that, I'm already slipping into super-loaf mode. The less I get done today the better.
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Mar 06, 2009 5:21:59 AM CST
But she probably knows who that gardner kid...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
off Desperate Housewives is, right? Strychnine that chick asap!
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christ.
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(What Would The Dude Do?)It's hard to decide, because The Dude is between jobs right now and doesn't have to go to team bonding lunches, but I think he would be cool with a little drunken slackening.
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Mar 06, 2009 5:26:23 AM CST
If she'd ever had Jacks (reportedly) huge cock in her...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
she'd remember who he was!
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The Jack Nicholson thing stumped me, but she's in her early twenties... maybe she's not familiar with Jack's films. Maybe.But Bruce Wayne? Wasn't The Dark Knight the highest grossing film of last year? I don't get that at all.Sweet girl; not too bright.
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Fine. Not a proper adaptation by any means but entertaining for over two and a half hours. I guess you could call that a success...Moving on, so when's this KILLER BOOB movie coming out anyway?
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though. Cretin
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Mar 06, 2009 5:37:02 AM CST
The Dude wouldn't mind a team bonding lunch
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
As long as it involved white russians. He'd also inappropriately admire the bosses wife, get hit on the head by a coffee mug hurled from said boss, hallucinate a busby-berkley style musical number and not go back to work and go bowling instead. If you do that, Frankie, The Dude abides.
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Mar 06, 2009 5:41:57 AM CST
KFH "Not a proper adaptation by any means"
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I was led to believe it was entirely faithful apart from Squidgate. Is this not the case? I'll be seeing it sometime this weekend.
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but a lot of character development that could have been had was lost to probably thirty minutes of stylized cinematography and punchy action scenes. It was still a very entertaining thirty minutes of stylized cinematography and action scenes, but the same shit could have been in any other movie. Watchmen could have used that extra bit of character study. Granted, there were some characters that actually got a bit MORE character development than before, The Comedian and Rorschach mostly, but the rest is meh.So all in all, a fine movie that gets the job done but pales in the more unconventional styles of the book. I posted my real thoughts on the Watchmen TB thingy and my facebook profile. Other than that, I am pretty much done with the whole Watchmen thing for a good few months I think.
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there's plenty of blue cock from all accounts. So that's pretty faithful. I know I'm going to have to explain to Mrs. Jarv (and she's reading it at the moment) precisely why they chose to dress Ozy up like Robin from Batman and Robin, though. Because someone had to explain it to me.
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I'm a little more interested now I know daddy Winchester out of Supernatural is in it, but otherwise I'll be going for the sake of going to the cinema.Also, it will get me out of the house.
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Mar 06, 2009 5:50:43 AM CST
I'm not going anywhere near that Watchmen TB
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I'm sure there will be more 'character development' in the 18 hour blu-ray mega-ultimate super-duper edition that has already been touted.
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AICN puts up some cool news like the new Twitch, and even a plug for the Brubaker-penned web show with Zoe Bell, and then they virtually bury all of it with another shitload of Watchmen coverage. Sigh.
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Mar 06, 2009 5:51:44 AM CST
entertaining thirty minutes of stylized cinematography and actio
by lost jarv
oh shit. I was dreading that. 300 again
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See you folks later.
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And why does Ozy look 25 when he's about 60 in the book?
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bored of it. Severely bored of it.
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Basically, the idea is, as the comic is a deconstruction of comics, the film will be the same. Therefore, some genius decided that dressing your main villain as a gay love toy would highlight the inherent ridiculousness of the genre. No, I couldn't believe it when I heard that either.
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incompetence probably.
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Actually you are kind of spot on with the 300 comparison. Know what I did to prepare myself before seeing the movie? Did I re-read the comic? Fuck no! I watched Snyder's last directing effort, 300. I think it was a much better way to prepare myself. There is just as much hollow, super-stylized violence,well shot, edited and choreohraphed, but it's pretty much just there to be eye candy and keep the more ADD viewers in their seats instead of burying their noses in their popcorn. So while mostly it is a faithful adaptation, he Snyder touch is certainly not lost, it's almost tangible. This is not like Sin City or 300 either. It's not a direct translation of the imagery and the narrative. Parts are edited or tampered with pretty much to ensure that Snyder will have his own stamp on his project. He made it his own, and while I still probably prefer the original comics, it had its moments.
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it should say *the* Snyder touchFuck it's late.
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Hey even Manny signed--c'mon back there PaZooz--we'll see if we can't dredge up Ringy jest for youse.
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Perhaps.
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How you doing, ya crazy bastard?
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Frankies off abiding The Dude, drinking White Russians and Jarv is unusually preoccupied with work! Someones gotta entertain me on a friday! Can the CoC come out to play?
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let's talk about some crap and that!I'm all bonded and suchlike.Fuck. only had four opints and it's hard to type.
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am having a boring work day.
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They sound great
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I don;'t know what that is.jesus. is it hot in here or is it just me?unfortunately, I was just having the beers, not white russians. I am saving those for the 100th films celebration.Some people have bought kebabs back with them, but I do not have a kebab.Managers are looking wary, as though they have realise that they have made a mistake with this two hour lunch business.
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Not bad. GOod start to a drunkening. A warm up per se.
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Mar 06, 2009 8:11:46 AM CST
A four pint lunchtime is a decent sesh
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
The Dude would abide. Now you just need to indiscriminately tap the keyboard and click the mouse.
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everyo9ne is a little drunk but pretending they are not.Pretty funny.
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the end of a drunkening. NOt in the middle.
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It's always the same. You stare at the computer monitor looking with a furrowed brow, looking concerned, like what you are working on is the most important piece of work ever. But what you are really doing is indiscriminately clicking the mouse and tapping the keyboard.
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Mar 06, 2009 8:17:35 AM CST
Kebabs. Ugh. Haven't had one for ages.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I tend not to gobble greasy food on a drunkening anymore.
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Am considering continuing this later.Sitting here, drinking cafe mocha out the machine, it is not right. Once you start on the beer, it is only corerect to continue. Or sleep maybe.Sorry I'll rty to think of something film related to say.
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Mar 06, 2009 8:23:35 AM CST
You stay consistant or elevate
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Once you start drinking beer, you are only allowed beer or spirits. Coffee, tea, juice, soft drink? No, no, no, no. They willonly be tolerated once you return home AFTER a drunkening AND if there is no alcohol in the house. That includes cooking sherry.
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but not cassis. Because cassis is minging.
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Some old women once tricked me into drinking some sherry at Christmas one time. Couple of haggard old whores. I am conveinced it was a part of some sort of curse.Lucky for me, I do not believe in that witch stuff.
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Mar 06, 2009 8:36:26 AM CST
I came home one night to discover my housemate
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
entertaining his mates with cooking sherry, because thats all we had. They called one of those after hours delivery services shortly after. 'twas amusing.
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Next week's loafing lineup incluides:The rise and fall (and rise an bunch more times and fall a bunch more times) of Rocky Balboa.The many wounds influicted by John J Rambo.The collection of events I don't remember too well of Madimus Maximus (aka Mel 'Sugartits' Gibson).B;ade Runner: Honestly, We Will Not Gouge You Again Cut.Three morwe undoubtably hilarious Futurama adventures.More Supernatural, even though that funny one is so handsome he may be turning me gayer than Gilmore Girls ever did.Probably Watchmen, even though I don't really care christ it looks stupid as shit.That's not too bad.
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Mar 06, 2009 8:43:06 AM CST
"Supernatural, even though that funny one is so handsome he may
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Gay is gay, Frankie.
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And I say that as a lifelong straight man.
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No such thing. poof. Just admit you love the cock.
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I have a couple of drinks, and suddenly everyione is saying I'm gay again. I haven't watched Gilmore Girls in months, you cunts!I maintain that until I know the taste of cock I am straight.
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Mar 06, 2009 8:50:07 AM CST
Looking at the "News" on the homepage...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
and all there is, is fucking Watchmen related shit and announcements about trailers! There are hardly any stories that actually contain news!
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Mar 06, 2009 8:51:31 AM CST
Tastes like chicken, apparently
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Thats the word on the street.
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a few drinks.
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and Yoko's ad page does not count as news.
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Mar 06, 2009 9:04:49 AM CST
I always knew Harry kept a couple of holes open...
by franklin t marmoset
...for Quentin Tarantino and Eli Roth. But now it looks like he also keeps one reserved for visionary directory Zack Snyder.Fill up those holes, Harry. Fill them up while you rub margarine dipped ice cubes on your enormous ginger nipples.
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You were spot on about Supernatural, mate. Great start, wanders about a bit, then gets good in the second half of season 1.I've just started season 2, and the first episode was pretty damn good. Turns out, I like this programme. Then there was one about vampires with Amber Benson, which my inner Buffy nerd enjoyed. The one I watched thwe other night even had a Soundgarden song in it (Fell On Black Days - one of my favourites). Can't complain about that at all.
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Mar 06, 2009 9:31:27 AM CST
The Superunknown album is fucking gold
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
My Wave, Black Hole Sun, Fell on Black Days, Spoonman. To name a few. The whole album is pretty much faultless.
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Good work, gentlemen.So who are the breast men and who are the ass men here?Sister-in-law arrives tomorrow then off to the world's biggest zoo on Sunday. In between need to find time for Punisher: War Zone.Throat still sore. Might need to kill the infection with red wine.
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I used to love some Chris Cornell, but he's gone a bit shit in recent years.I was very disappointed with Carry On. Really bland, that album.
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hehe. Boob camp.I wander how much it costs to stay a week at the boob camp? I bet the rides there are GREAT.
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But boobs are good too. Especially FLYING KILLER BOOBS!
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Insulting me by calling me a Brit will get you nowhere, son. Aussies don't put up with that shit!
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Mar 06, 2009 9:42:49 AM CST
I would respect a female that didn't know Bruce Wayne.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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I saw them in concert about 10 years ago. His vocals are insanely clean live.....INSANE. I too consider that album to be near flawless, though my favorite Soundgarden song is "Burden In My Hand."
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Mar 06, 2009 9:46:18 AM CST
I'd say I'm more into the ASS. Specifically the ASS-HOLE.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Mar 06, 2009 9:49:12 AM CST
The only thing I will say about Superunknown is...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
it might be one or maybe two songs too long. Theres sixteen bloody songs on the fucker. But that's a shitty, nitpicking complaint.
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Mar 06, 2009 9:50:43 AM CST
Down On The Upside was never appreciated though....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....it is a fine album. Much different. But its still very solid.
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Good album but had the tough job of following one of the best albums of the 90s.Sorry Droid. I know you're a transplant but you're on British time.Yoko's a putz. She added to her U2 review by fanning the flames. That's one dim bulb.
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Pretty Noose, Blow Up The Outside World, Dusty. Not their best album, but not a bad way to bow out.
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...between Superunknown and Badmotorfinger. Both great albums.
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Mrs Jarv is small, so if it was legs then I'd be a cretin of the highest order. Women should look like women, none of this emaciated stick-insect nonsense. This is what we have to put up with because Fashion is decided by gay men, who lets face it, haven't a fucking clue what a woman should look like.
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4 albums in a row that were amazing. From Louder Than Love to Upside, they produced quite a string. Badmotorfinger was the ultimate work out album for me back in the day.
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.....with only a bunch of crazy strobe-lights on stage for the entire song. It was crazy. Hell of an entrance. But then they fucked it up by having Chris sit on stage by himself on a stool and do Black Hole Sun fucking acoustic!! WHAT THE FUCK?!! We almost tore the seats out of the fucking amphitheater.
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....they do know a thing or two about assholes. So I gotta stick with 'em.
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That's actually made it worse. She would have been better off just promising to do better next time, then actually following up by doing better.
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After the Wonderwall album. Don't remember the name but have it. There is an awesome rocking song on that, it was their first single. Also I was moving from England when it came out, and if you got the British version it had the British release date on it, if you got the American version it had the American release date on it.
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The music in Supernatural is one of the best parts since it doesn't use any junk except to make jokes.
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I was always a guy who lusted after the full figured Bellucci types, but ended up marrying a smurf.But I go all Pacino-like when 5 pounds of ass stuffed in a 1 pound bag go walking by.
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but the amount of time Mrs. Jarv spends on a diet pursuing some unrealistic and unobtainable "ideal" (certainly isn't my fucking ideal) that she got from fashion (she's always complaing that clothing doesn't make allowances for latina women) is irritating beyond belief.
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I got down on the upside confused with Definitely, Maybe.
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Fuck. Me.Broke my rule and read something Harry wrote, instantly regretted it.Harry's one true skill is his ability to mix astonishing over-nerdyness with a grasp of English that would embarrass a Mexican roadsweeper.
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there is nothing good on Be Here Now. Nothing. It's one of the most offensively bland albums ever produced and I want both my money back and the fucking time I spent listening to it. And a written apology. It's like the prototype of blandness for Clodplay.
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Women should look like women and not what somebody who loves the cock thinks women should look like.If your a cock fan you should not be setting the style for the the vagina sporters.
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In that same episode they played Stonehenge by Spinal Tap, which made me chuckle quite a bit.
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I think I'm adding to the confusion here. D,M was great, Morning Glory was quite good then Be Here Now was underwhelming and everything since is wretched.
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Since there's a big Robots hitting each other movie coming out.
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Apart from Vern's review of Garfield (The Asshole Cat), obviously, which is a work of the highest comical art.I should stop now or I'll end up banned.
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It makes me sound homophobic, and I'm not, but a healthy adult woman (with a few exceptions) should not be trying to be size 0. That's bullshit. I like Women not 10 year old boys.
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Also remeber that SN gets better year to year. I'm trying to figure out how they will top the current season. It has me a bit concerned for next season.
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You should not bone a chick gently in fear of breaking her in half.
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It's not homophobic in the least. it's an acccurate acessment of the situation. If somebody doesn't like that fact fuck'em, but only in the metaphorical sense not the actual act.
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It's like me advising a baby orangutan on how to throw fecies. Sure, i could throw it if need be, but since I have no idea what it's like to be an orangutan, I am in no positiion to provide advice.
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Mar 06, 2009 10:27:24 AM CST
Cockmunchers on the Watchmen TB's are...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
talking up the film as the next Blade Runner. Jesus Tittyfucking Christ
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Node will pop up now to tell me that I'm a horribly crypto-fascist bigot now. But I'm glad that I'm not alone.
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like homophobe or racist for every lttle goddamn thing they find the slightst bit offensive. it dilutes the true meaning and impact of the words and let's real racists and homophobes off the hook becasue people start tuning out the meaning of such words. FUCK THEM ALL I SAY FUCK THEM UP THIER STUPID ASSES. Worthless PC assfucks.
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I'll be back in two weeks with an embarrassingly large list of films I've seen. Possibly, I will also have severe alcoholism.Cheers, all.
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Have fun. yeah, that's true Xi- Worthless asshats the lot of them.
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Mar 06, 2009 10:47:43 AM CST
Have a good break and abide by The Dude at all times
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Enjoy the White Russians, Frankie
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a puppy. What the fuck?
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FYI, they are just about able to grow new livers in jars in a lab. I say drink all you want and damn teh consequences. Medical science will bail you out.
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That song was awesome. And I liked D'you know what I mean. But my god did the radio fucking drill all of Whats the Story Morning Glory into your fucking cerebellum. Like I remember radio DJs going, for the fifth time this houre WONDERWALL!!!!
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Isn't that Homer Simpsons philosophy?
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Have a good weekend, one and all.
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could be, Homer seems like a with it dude.
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and now I feel like I need to put on a mesh t shirt and dance the night away to the dulcet tones of Right Said fred.
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Mar 06, 2009 11:14:35 AM CST
Is it too late to talk about how great that Trek trailer is?
by d.vader
Damn I just had to rewatch it for the fi5th time. Its awesome, and I dig that reworked Batman Begins theme.
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but it was quite good. In parts anyway.
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Mar 06, 2009 11:17:00 AM CST
I saw Oasis at the Hollywood Bowl last year....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....they came out to Fuckin' In The Bushes. Fucking legendary.
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and having had the misfortune to meet Liam Gallagher, I have to say he's one of the biggest cockends on the planet. Just a dreadful oafish loat with all the charm of an open sewer, a rampaging coke problem and an attitude problem to match. A twat.
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Apologies for NOT posting drunk here last night ladies and gents. Had a few pints and then some mysterious stranger bought Goldschlagger shots for everyone at the bar. I had two bc the woman next to be said "Someone is pregnant." In a bar?
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middle class women now think that it's acceptable to bring their screaming satan-spawn to the pub. There should be a baby ban in public places. Or at least places where I'm having a quiet drink.
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Mar 06, 2009 11:57:51 AM CST
Why couldn't it have been Bono instead of Chris Farley?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Fuck.
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May see you tomorrow as I have to work, but more likely not. Have a good weekend.
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eh? He's worse and more of a twat than Bono. I know Bono is an ubertwat, but he's still worse.
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Bono seriously thinks he's Christ reborn.
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Watched Sneakers and Reign Over Me. I still get a kick out of Sneakers, and Reign Over Me I found to be decent. I believe it has to do with having a daughter with another one on the way. I can only fucking imagine the anguish of losing one's entire family in one fell swoop. Ugh.
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I wish I was off for two weeks, sitting in a beer garden or something.Sweet.
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Fuck you, you internet watching IT fucking drippy whores! Fuck!
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shut the fuck up and keep turning out half out tunes. I don't give a fuck about your stupid opinions.i'd offen an opinion about this Gallagher fella except I've never heard of him. From what I read I'm glad.
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Mar 06, 2009 12:30:48 PM CST
German dude said Heidi Klum is "Too heavy" to model.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
We were speaking of society pressures on women to be rail thin earlier. I just saw this on imdb.
--------------------------------
Supermodel Heidi Klum has brushed off criticism of her weight by refusing to diet - insisting she already has the perfect figure for the catwalk.
The 35-year-old mum of three was verbally attacked by German designer Wolfgang Joop last month for being "too heavy" to model.
But Klum insists she has never been the type to starve herself - as looking after her children and pop star partner Seal is more than enough to keep her in shape.
-----------------------So I clicked on this Wolfgang Joop guy on imdb, and one of his credits includes as "Psychiater " in a German film called Suck My Dick. Uhhhhh.....seriously.
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We saw her new Victoria's Secret ad and I said I thought it was great she was still modeling, despite having 2 kids (I think) and being older than what's "acceptable model age". Then my girl said something about "I'm amazed she's on tv, bc you know, she's too fat nowadays!" She didn't know the details, just said some moron said SHE of all pple was too fat. Some people are just fucking sad.
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Klum is the perfect woman. Any female that insults her has serious issues with their own body and they are most likely horrible at sucking dick.
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Dunno if you picked up on that or not.
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Mar 06, 2009 12:43:06 PM CST
I apologize. Her oral skills are indeed biblical.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Wasn't clear enough. Multitasking be damned!
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she doesn't do much for me but there is no way in hell she is fat. Obviously that Kraut is gayer then spring time in Paris.
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I just found some nude pics of her online. Don't really know much about her- couldn't tell you what songs she sang. But I like what I see.
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Even at 9 years old that song made my cock hard.
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And it seems like there has always been confusion between the two young female hottie pop singers from the 80s.
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And its hard to tell them apart when they are folded up in an oily pile of body parts and pussy hair.
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but I jerked off with furious abandon to both of them in the mid 80's.
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Watched another movie by that director called Searching For John Gissing, fucking TERRIBLE!
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Any better then the one for Generations or First Contact. I doubt it will be better then First Contact. Much much is better then First Contact. THE LINE MUST BE DRAWNNN HEREGGHHH!
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Mar 06, 2009 1:51:50 PM CST
This is the frist Trek anything I'll pay for....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....the old movies, the shows, all of it; dogshit. This looks decent because it looks like fucking STAR WARS.
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Anyone seen it?
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First Contact was the fucking shit, Jean Luc could kick the crap out of that faggot from Smoking Aces even in a wheel chair.
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About the Wolverine Origins of Kirk, without William Shatner is butt fucking retarded. Lets face it, 50 years from now J.J. Abraham Lincoln will be about as well known as Russell Mulchany while everyone will still know William Shatner.
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Damn this is a near perfect movie. FUCK the REMAKE.
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looks pretty spiffy. The only thing about that movie that concerns me is that Kurtzman and Orci suck balls as writers. here's to hoping they luck out and make an entertaining movie.
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Mar 06, 2009 2:53:02 PM CST
I agree Xiphos. They are the weakest link there....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
But come on -- fucking Spielberg came in and shot some second unit action sequences. FUCKING SPIELBERG AS A SECOND UNIT DIRECTOR TO ABRAMS. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
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Spielberg doesn't come onto sets any more. He fucking directors through his iPhone sitting in his Mansion where 100's of underage boys run around all day in different degrees of undress.
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Your a tool for watching AMC. Well at least a movie on AMC.
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I did not know that.
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...but he did work on some action scenes. Oh yes....he did.
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I am really looking forward to this. I also hope that they do the soundtrack. http://tinyurl.com/a6ftnl
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Its the Any Movie Channel, we all know that. But they show good stuff from time to time.
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Inside info or just delusional desire?
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Oriedberg and Keltzer are Spielberg's sex slaves so maybe he felt nice and wanted to help them out on their pet project.
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Spielberg resists with all those cute boys in tight uniforms.
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J.J. decided that since his main goal is ruining the most important parts of franchise's that he makes Kirk gay.
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I know some people on the crew. The Berg was there for a few weeks.
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We all know Dickblood is a high priced male prostitute to the stars, of course Spielberg's dipped his beard in Dickbloods ass. The Bearded on fucks more people then Rajneesh.
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The movie Harry was splooging all over in his DVD column and I'm pretty sure there is this black actor in it who is the creepy guy with puppets on the Tim and Eric Awesome Show.
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D. Blood's pimp told him that Spielberg was looking for some Trek nerds to live with him and be his sex slaves so he could beef up on his Treekies and learn about Star Trek, because we all know Spielberg only learns things while bonning underage boys and making them read to him while he violates them annally.
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You're totally mixing up The Berg with James Cameron. He is the one that has truckloads of dead 10 year old boys dumped in his yard. It takes a few weeks....but believe you me, he picks through every one of 'em. Nice and slow. And after he pops he usually puts their head through the fucking wall and screams at them "Stand up and say something now Linda Hamilton -- YOU FUCKING CUNT!"
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Good. Loved it when Picard went off his head, as Series has already noted..."The line must be drawn heeyah! This far, no further! And iiiyyyeee will make them PAY for what they have done!"Quality.
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Can't stop watching it. I'm not even that big a fan. There's just something right about it, although apparently, according to die-hard fans of the show it's all wrong.Who'd have thunk it. Is it possible to contract 'Trekkie' over the interwebs?
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I'm supposed to be commenting on your stuff. I'll get to it, promise. It's just that, well, Trek trailer - it's very shiny and distracting.
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I'm sure that music cue is from Matrix Reloaded, only slowed down - when Neo's fighting a bunch of the French bloke's henchmen on the stairs. Ooooh... just had deja vu, like I've posted that before in another life.Anyhoo, I don't want to watch people kicking each other incessantly. My eyes get tired.
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myself anyways. That preview actually done looked GOOD! Plus they upped the Giant Robot quotient in it, so you KNOW it's gotta be worthwhile. You know you're in a fucked up society when Erika Christensen a couple of years back was being called 'fat'. Jugged out and moon faced, sure. Fat? maybe at your local anorexia colony---
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Poor Jarv. Those two clowns struck me as being asshats from day one. I do like some of Oasis' tunes, though can't say i know anything they've done since '97.
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Comes on like Lolita at the beginning. Dunno. Looks kind of soap-y.
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T4: Loving The Smell Of Balepalm.Unmoved by the first trailer; new trailer, definitely more interesting but... Mmmmm. Not convinced.
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Wasn't that a U2 song? Sung by The Edge? The movie looks nicely shot but there's not enough in the trailer to judge properly. Bit of cannibalism, though... got to be worth tuning in for.
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I recall 'meeting' him on a wonderful summer day, on John Dalton Street in Manchester. Oasis had just broke big. He was leering at the ladies. Judging by his bow-leg walk, I doubt if he could've stopped a pig in a ginnel.
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Are we really that cinematically illiterate? Sure, that hit me as well, but the biggest thing running through my mind when looking at Beautiful is Blue Velvet. There is so much of Lynch in there.
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lo, do i see my father. must be an australian thing
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you know it's true
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id be happy to critize the powers that be here, but seriously they have developed this site and this community and you have to give them credit for it. and sure the ban hammer comes down but shit, if you guys said to me what you sometimes say here, to my face, id punch you in yours, conisdering they run the site, they are pretty leiant. i can tell you now, you wouldn't hassel my missus phyical feature in front of me without maxwell's hammer coming down, and sure this is community, but it is one run by these guys and they have their moments, but they are mostly pretty tolerant.
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sorry bout that, but seriously, i don't want to be associated with personal attacks on those that run the site. criticism sure, but i feel greatful for the site they provide, and if they make a buck out of it i don't care, as long as that dollar dosn't affect their opions, which i think for the most part it dosn't (though maybe sometimes they get star struck and that effects it)
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fantastic u2 song related to this thread by virtue of it's name and subject matter - van dieman's land: http://tinyurl.com/58msp7 (not the best version though)
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Say what you will about it, the cinematography looks authentic, like it was filmed a long time ago.
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Could you please provide an Aussie to English translation for your last few posts? I can usually follow your post better then almost anybody here but I have to say, you lost me tonight brother.Also, for the record, 13th Warrior is top notch entertainment on every level.
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I don't know if you know this but I was reading a list of 100 most OMG comic book moments and there was one called, "I'M THE GODDAMN BATMAN!". Here is the right up Coming up with the comic book version of "Numa Numa" or "Chocolate Rain," Miller, within the pages of All-Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder, coined the phrase, "I'm the Goddamn Batman!" and it caught on like wildfire. It became a joke, even in the pages of ASBAR, as Batman said it every issue, every few pages. Miller knew not to take himself too seriously, even if the fanboys did. I'm surprised we didn't here Bale say that.
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there is a bit 'your wife is fat' that flys around here and i'm not down with it. I pay harry and his mob, we pretty much have free reign, even when dudes are making fun of his wife, so good on him. getting drunk now.
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man is it ever a full movie. and the best sound track i can think of since o brother where art thou? which was more sound track than movie. I agree with one reiewers comment (can remember who) that the song 'all along the watch tower' was put in the wrong spot. I loved the opening sequence, with one of my favorite songs. shit i could go on and on. they were riffing the war room from strange love - one of my favourite movies. it just goes on and on. there really is more to that movie that one watch can reveal.
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that there was a real bum and penis fetish to this movie, the framing of it often had these things front and centre. and the the last fight wasn't that great. but overall, good effort.
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it's maxwell hammer time
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Is that a majority of the fanbois like to choke on cock.
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We got are FIRST official review of watchmen. And the verdict is...there's a lot of cock.
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Oh, oh oh oh. http://tinyurl.com/ccbarq
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Fuck The Army. Saw it last night, and it was pretty lame. I don't know why the pentegon had it pulled in a week. It was just clip after clip of anti war songs. Just kind of boring, the most interesting part was the 20 minute Jane Fonda interview afterward were she sheepishly ducked around saying the word FUCK after I had just seen her say is for an hour and a half. Don't waste your time, there is nothing that prolific about it. I mean its funny to see Captain America's dad being this huge anti war hippie, but lets face it Donald Sutherland has always been a weird hippie. He just needs to do a banche scream at his son for not being like him.
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It's only one step beyond all of the dozens of superhero movies with guys wearing tights. It is unusual to have a movie of this sort that is going to the extreme of not focusing on half-naked (or completely naked)women. I'm only guessing that they don't have many of those since I haven't seen it yet, but Manhattan is almost all the guys seem to be talking about. The slogan for 2009 is "Go Blue" and shopping centers 'round the world are suddenly unable to keep up with the demand for food coloring and blue ink. It could be the beginning of the end of the economic recession as WalMart urges men to "crank it up a notch". Ha ha ha!
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Was there this much hullabaloo over Mystique? I bet there was...but I doubt there were as many complaints. ;)
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Its in the wrong spot compared to where it was used in the book, and some have said its too obvious, but I enjoy that the song matches with what's happening onscreen. The fact that its one of my top 5 all time favorite songs doesn't hurt either.
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and don't worry there was plenty of tits as well, but it was more the framing that i'm talking about, it wasn't so much that he was naked but that on a number of occasions the camera seemed to focus on his poor little winky. there was also a funny sex scene that draws on the logical outcome of being able to be in multiple places at any given time. I'm surprised you guys havn't seen it yet. I thought that the alexandra du pont review was quite good actually. The ending wasn't great, not because of the subject matter but because they seemed to had run out of steam in term of putting in the effort. the last fight was poorly choreographed and poorly executed. I love the song all along the watch tower but it was the only song really that i thought was out of place. The opening credits were fantastic with dylan sing 'times are a changing' great song. there was a heavy supernatural representation - remember the one where the conspiracy nut robs the bank and the brothers are caught up in it - well he is in the movie. the casting seemed good - silk spectre was better than most people are saying, Rorschach was good but not spectacular as some are saying, and ozymandius seemed a little miscast.
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http://tinyurl.com/d7t4wd
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why does this always happen in russia?http://tinyurl.com/bnz7hm
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Hugo Weaving is a cool cat, he's good in everything more often than not. Not much in this trailer to go off but I'm interested.
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Stupid. Parachuting cows - genius. The character that's shouting all the time cracks me up for some reason. Reminds me of a Maths teacher at school whose lesson I had the good fortune to attend. He was Greek. He'd regularly throw a fit at us evil-doing pupils and shout stuff like - "You shaddap! Or I kick you to death!" Or - "I throw you through the window!" And - "I throw you on the floor and stamp on you!"Oh, happy days...
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Fuck off, not watching that. Revolting. Trying to be clever with that song. It's not clever.
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yeah that was funny
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Mis-read that at first, thought it said 'Angora' - thought it was gonna be an Ed Wood biopic or something.But, no, this looks fairly epic, maybe Kingdom Of Heaven territory. And Rachel Weisz is well tidy, yo!
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How's it going, mate. Drunk?Panic - nothing quite like parachuting cows is there! Wish that happened in real life, it'd be brilliant.
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This also looks very fucking good. Harsh, icy lighting... mmmmm. Touch of the old Hannibal Lectors in there. Liking it a lot, really want to catch this at the cinema. Maybe the Manchester Cornerhouse will grab this one.Come to think of it, the Cornerhouse should grab ALL of the Twitch films...
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had some beers yesterday though. i wouldn't say alexander pierce was australia's most famous bush ranger, not even close really. that would be ned kelly, followed maybe by ben hall or a few others. i've been reading about it and this is one of three movies on this subject matter in two years. looks really well shot though.
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These clips are getting better and better! Looks fantastic. The Third Man music. Like the guy's "Oops..." delivery. Brutal as fuck, too! Could definitely go see a double-header, this and Normal, back-to-back.
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Does have some lyrical camerawork in that clip. Could do with a longer trailer, just to get a better idea of the content. I don't know anything about the story...
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Oh, Joy! A life affirming, heart warming, feel good movie...Don't think I can handle that bugger.
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Lots of shooting.Not bothered.
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a bunch of convicts escape the penal settlement only to realise that they have made a terrible mistake - they don't know how to live off the land. the solution seems obvious - they eat each other.
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'Ching wants to take on Ming and the police, believing that they are the ones who put him in jail.'well of course the police put him in jail. fucking idiots
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Never seen Evil Aliens, have always wanted to. Is it shite? This looks cack. Isn't that the guy in Severance, pretty much seems to be doing the same thing?Severance wasn't too bad - the best bit was when one of the blokes gets shot and slowly dies in the girl's arms - all the while there's a nutter hunting them outside the room, and the dying bloke is trying to keep her quiet even though he's pegging out. I've not explained it very well - but it's a strong scene that goes against the general tongue in cheek atmosphere.
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Well. What is there to say about Boob? It's a flying tit. I don't know how one gets mileage out of a flying tit, but it shall be interesting finding out.Teeth. Boob. Got to be Knob next, hasn't it...
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I've run out of Twitch trailers. Now what...?Ah, Star Trek trailer again. It's shiny!
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Don't get it? I mean do people really enjoy the look of a dumbfounded women that much? She always just stands there a little crossed eyed, I mean I don't think she can even speak.
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Is that banner ad going around AICN with the Humans only thing all about? yeah I know I could click it, but asking you all seems safer, I'm nervous about things I don't understand.
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that looks funny
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... is the new sexy.
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is worth a watch but it's not as funny as you might think. Probably suffers through having to follow Shaun Of The Dead. It's blacker than Shaun, but not as deft in touch.
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That mentions the use of Twitter. Who the fuck cares THAT much about anyone else in the fucking world.
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Trek trailer. Not enough Scotty, though. Want to see a bit more of Pegg as Scotty. Maybe they just wanted the trailer to have a serious tone.The music cue is stunning. Pity it ain't in the movie. I'm a sucker for choral stuff.
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I say Twatter.
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Cool i've had it low on the Netflix cue may move it up. If it sucks I am going to hunt you down and kill your first born.
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Got to play some rugby this morning. Felt good, I was nervous going in because I haven't played in a year, but sure enough I didn't forget how to tackle a dude. Granted I only played for a half, but it was good some good rucking in. Now I'm licking my wounds and feeling a lot more sore then I thought I was.
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I didn't say it was a masterpiece. Go easy on me, mate!
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has taken a turn for the worse. Gale force winds and it's raining stair rods. Here comes Spring...
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we did last year too. what the fuck?
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the Dollhouse TB.
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Blimey. Not a lot going on is there.The gale force winds have dropped again! A mad 30-odd minutes, now it is as quiet as the mices.
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Laters.
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You watching Dollhouse? Any good last night?
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I was curious and I think all that abuse kinda gives me a chubby. ;)Well, turns out the hate train has moved from Bono and Yoko to Danny. Damn.
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are just there to get the TBers' blood boiling and get all of us at each other's throats. Turns out it's okay if we disagree on movies it's fine, but if one person doesn't like another person's favorite band you have to wish death upon them.I just wanna say, I love the C of C guys. Let's never break up!
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Peter Stomre on T&GASGJ!
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Are you reading No Heroes?
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Nope. I'll tell you what book blew me away last week though: Daredevil. Damn I love me some Brubaker, and this issue he focused purely on what Kingpin's been up to. Damn good little yarn, and some great art thanks to another team up with David Aja. I remember when Bru and Aja first collaborated for the first few issues of Iron Fist. They barely made one arc together but that was my frosted flakes with bananas while it lasted.
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Yeah I actually picked that Daredevil up! I've been seeing that cover for FOREVER i thought I missed it, got the last copy. As for No Heroes, OH man issue 3 (issue 4 just came out) has these CRAZY amazing drawings you need to see. Its similar to War Heroes, except these pills have been around since the 60's and only one man picks who gets the pills (he looks like a Steve Coogan), and when you first take the pill that gives you special powers it takes you on a trip, and the trip was in issue 3 and man there are like 4 double page spreads that are sooo cool and crazy looking. Worth a look see.
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That actually sounds really cool. I will definitely ask the shop owner next time I drop by. Thanks for the heads up. I think I really need to check this out.
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it's a promo for Neil Blonkamp's movie District 9, which has something to do with aliens living in a sanctioned area here on earth and having difficulties with the human population. At least that's what I THINK it's about. Not quite sure.
Saw WATCHMEN yesterday, and it really is pretty good. I'm not a disciple of the sourcework, but I really liked it back when I read it and have been following along all these years as it bounced around in development. I really didn't think they would come up with an adaptation that worked even this well. As for the no-squid thing, that was totally the right move and I think the new ending isn't dumb at all and works pretty well.
It's not a full blown masterpiece. There's too much of that 300 slo-mo crap, and it really comes off like some of these people have "powers". The sex scene was ridiculous, and some of the "extreme"(not really that extreme at all)violence just felt stupid too. All those little Snyder touches.
The use of music in the movie was brilliant though, and the casting was largely great. Crudup as Manhattan, Morgan as Comedian, and Haley as Rorsach probably saved the whole thing. -
Did you read the novel?
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I was deep into the land of Nod by that Dollhouse post!Never seen it. Don't watch much telly. With serials, my attention wanders if I'm having to wait a week for the next episode of anything. I just lose interest.I'm always being told there's great stuff on telly but I can't tune me head into it. Must be just wired up wrong.
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I stick the telly on and there's Piers fucking Morgan - who, no matter how hard he tries will always be a tabloid slimeball who thankfully got his arse handed to him when he appeared on Have I Got News For You many moons ago.He's interviewing Katie Price - no idea why, is there not enough about her in the media already? What am I going to learn from this? Rock all. She's as dim as a Toc H lamp.I've unplugged the telly again.
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He has to find out the truth about my evil deeds and only the enlightened voice of MM at the Dollhouse can save him. Sorry, Wolf. I have you in my clutches and I won't let you go that easily. This is for your own good. Look deep into my post. You do not want to go to any other TB except Twitch. The Brim picks his teeth with discarded Whedonites. The Stache feeds the remnants to the Graboids. MM is a spurned and disgruntled dust bunny that lusts to no avail for Dirk. His are the forgeries of jealously. The CoC shall gather power from its own and smite the unholy anti-Twitchers. You must remain here with your people. The power of Bruce compels you!
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Does MM know that he is a dust bunny? Shoudl I enlighten him? That might get things stirred up! Mwa ha ha!
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Last night, I merely wanted to outpace the Dollhouse TB, not read it.We're onto you anyway, Mavra. MM's precision psychology has unravelled your insidious plans!
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The dark side will never allow you to be swayed.
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I dood it! Ha ha!
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could you, Mav. You had to go over there and mock the afflicted. Have you no sense of decency?You started it - MM was being really nice to you...
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My trollness has been unleashed. Ya summon the troll, ya gotta deal with it. That's written somewhere in the Necronomicon.
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If I didn't I would be doing the same thing he did to me. I may be a troll, but I refuse to be a dust bunny!
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he didn't do anything to you. You launched a rapier-like attack, completely unprovoked, while he was at his most charming.It's all there in his post, point for point. You're just being cruel!
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I may have gone too far. I might as well have said "Don't worry, be happy." What a monster I am!
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it was the tone you used. You said "have a nice day" but what you really meant was - "have a nice day."Unforgivable.
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And now I've gone and called him fluffly. I have OD'd on Dark Side cookies. The sugar rush makes me crazy.
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"Don't worry be happy." Huh? The song's stuck in me noggin and seemingly no amount of Sigur Ros will get rid of it!Great. Galloping. Ballsacks!
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When you worry your face will frown And that will bring everybody down A classic, right up there with "Working in a Coal Mine" or the Barney theme song.
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Just isn't Bjork. Oddly enough, I'm grateful for that!
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Best theme music ever. Don't bother disputing me. Followed closely by The Professionals.
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Don't know exactly what that means but, no. The vocalist sounds like a cat meowing..."Where dew drops cry, and the cats meow..."
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I've just listened to Bjork's 'Come To Me' song. Is very sexy choon. Generally, I can take her or leave her. She's bonkers. Once saw her perform 'Venus As A Boy' with band using only bottles. Nice.
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I only know of a few and I never was crazy about the Sugarcubes. Best theme song ever: http://tinyurl.com/3afago This can never be topped!
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And it is very difficult to get out of your head.
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http://tinyurl.com/yqxn7yThe Flumps is a clear winner.
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No, I didn't get into them. You could tell Bjork was wasted in that band. Sigur Ros drive me to distraction but they've got a few great tracks.Don't think I know anymore Icelandic bands.
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and while I know the genres are totally different, I have to say I think it is still a better movie than Watchmen. Short and sweet, with lots of beautiful little details and fun moments. And it wasn't even in 3D this time. Still the best movie I have seen so far in 2008 for sure.
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My sister has put in a vote for Fraggle Rock as best theme song. Insanity!
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and the perfect music to have on while you do homework. It's just made up language with some cool atmospheric polish.Interesting Icelandic music got brought up. didn't the composer of Coraline use like a Swedish children's choir for all the music? They sing in made up gibberish too. I almost wanna get the soundtrack now.
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Now that is summoning power!
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My girlfriend and I were Fraggles for this past Halloween. She's a redhead and she went as Red. It was fucking perfect.
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And a friend loaned me Sukiyaki Western Django today. It looks so very cool!
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It's not gibberish! They sing in the Icelandic language. I think they've only ever done one track in English. Might be on the current album...
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I read somewhere they only actually do a few songs in Icelandic. The rest are a language they made up called Freelandic or something. Seriously, look it up.
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Wolf is gonna eat KungFraggle. Ok...movie talk guys. We gotta get away from the tunes!
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have a song called 'We're Going To Live For A Very Long Time.' It's one of the most irritating choons I've ever heard. Gets lodged in yer head and won't fuck off.
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Those 7.3 seconds we shared will never be topped! Mavra, we will always have Detroit. And no, I am not into conspiracy loving Corn flakes. Now, if it was a cheerio, oooh, baby would we be talking!
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I may not have enjoyed Watchmen as much as I would have liked to, but those opening credits are pretty gorgeous. It touches on stuff that's just alluded to in the book, and really fleshes out a lot of the history of the alternate universe. Beautiful. I have been listening to Dylan all day after watching that.
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Play nice, everyone. Cohesive Coc, right? Later!
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Got yer, KungFu. You're right, it's gibberish!
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Meet ya in five minutes. Wear something loose. ;)
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you are a brazen hussey!
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The Tarantino cameos are kinda dumb, but I loved the hodge podge zany nature of the whole thing. Hope you have some English subtitles. I feel like that would have made it an even more enjoyable experience.
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Laters.
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You know that! Better hurry up though, that cheerio is looking mighty sexy!
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No need to argue though.Okay I'm expecting a few firm no's, but has anyone here seen the movie Roujin Z? It's an anime. It's about an old man that gets hooked up to this giant robot nurse device. The machine becomes self aware and goes crazy. It's a very clever original movie that deserves getting looked at, if only for it's insane premise. It shows its age, but it works as a nutty little comedy. Damn I have been watching some crazy stuff this year. When some of your new favorite movies are Godzilla: Final Wars, My Neighbor Totoro, and Theater of Blood, you wonder if you ever want to watch a contemporary Hollywood movie again.But i can't stress this enough, I wish as many people were talking about Coraline as they were Watchmen. It has been a real diamond in the rough for me in a movie season that has been pretty lackluster.
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I don't know what I expected. Maybe a little more character development. I was glad they at least acknowledged Yojimbo within the first 10 minutes. Tarantino's work was a bit... odd. But it was still enjoyable. Weird, but enjoyable. I wonder what was cut out of the Region 1 DVD.
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"Amphibian" off the "Being John Malkovich" soundtrack.
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Wembly was always my favorite.
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Rewatching all of series 1 and loving it, best show on TV. My fiancee likes it more then I do, she's the one that wanted to do the marathon after watching one episode. Hope you all caught the recaps this weekend, if not DVD that shit.
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Outlander expanded to 46 more theaters this week!
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This is funny, someone got a Snakes On A Plane tattoo! Here are some funny bad tattoos http://tinyurl.com/57d2ck But for my money this is by far the worst tattoo I've ever seen, too bad I didn't think it through before I got it on my back. http://tinyurl.com/yobjkt
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Really enjoyed it, but the story was a bit boring at parts. Did you stay after the credits? Also you know how actors have like 2 movies coming out on the same day sometimes? Ever think it was funny that the Mac guy and the PC guy had movies open on the same weekend.
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Just recorded a concert of their at the Museum of Modern Art off of Al Gore's TV channel, current. There is some cool stuff on that channel. Have yet to watch the Rotten tomatoes show but I got it on the DVR's, maybe after celebrity apprentice and new Family Guy tonight.
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Even though I just saw it a little while ago, if it's on...I. Can't. Refuse.Easy little brother...there are more!What are you laughing for? Honey! It's made from honey!
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Not good. I guess you can say it's better than the other ones. I would say it's just as shitty as the other ones.Hey, let's have one of the dudes get infected, but keep it secret! That's never been done before.
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Probably the one Arnie movie I've only seen once, besides maybe the Last Action Hero.
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But I've already got my other aliases all registered in case I get banned once again and registration gets closed. And trust me, you'll know its me if that ever happens.
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I love this fucking movie.
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I have the upmost confidence that I will never get banned.There is only...just pillooooooow talk! Bitches.
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Cunts.
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Is the eel-dick.
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Yet another movie I fucking love.
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I can never walk out of.
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But never underestimate the cunt TB-mods that lurk these threads.
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I hurt someone's feelings once.
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MNG for mod!Problem solved.Case closed.
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When it first came out I was extremely disappointed, and while there are things I would most certainly do differently, I'm beginning to warm up to the film. For one, the whole movie does have a certain feel, and look, and atmosphere that really sets it apart, I feel. Watching the film does feel like it takes place in a whole 'nother time and place. And Patick Doyle's music cue, "Harry in Winter", is simply divine.
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yeah, I am. It covers my body.
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Oh yeah...They die hard.
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I haven't watched it in a while. I think one of these days I'll watch them all again.
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Too bad my DVD is at another house. I'm left to watch Goblet of Fire instead.
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Ralph Fiennes does a phantastic job, that's for sure. Great cinematography in this entry too. Gone away is all that silly "bright colorful" nonsense of the first two films. Have to thank Cuaron and the 3rd entry for getting serious.
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Even if JC is a weird christian. I'll talk about hearing him speak today in a little bit.
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I'm going to try and see it this week. Maybe tuesday, when the price is actually $1 and not $1.50 or $2.
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Mar 08, 2009 9:52:19 PM CDT
Backup handles....FUCK THAT. Fight to the fucking death.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Like I did last summer. But then all it takes it one asshole move from Beaks and I'm out of commission for a few months. If it weren't for Mori, I wouldn't be here today. And I can't say Beaks or Harry would do the same thing for me.
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He is a good dude.
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But we've had pretty limited interactions in TBs. I think he's addressed me twice in the past month in a TB, and before that it may have been nil. However, Mori has taken the time to chew me out proper. He'd remember my name.
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What's up with the Bale site? I can't seem to get anything submitted to go through. FUCKING AMATEUR!
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Guess who's back?
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I'm gonna change the link to email me direct.For now just email me whatchoo got.
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Have I got a fucking site for you.www.aintitbalenews.weebly.com Email anything you might have to add to: DANNYGLOVERS.DICKBLOOD@GMAIL.COM
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Looks like its working now. I guess the last time I checked, the site was still in beta or something.
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As in "In the television show Lost, Locke is defenestrated by his father out of a window 80ft above ground. ". Or in Watchmen, the Comedian is defenestrated in the opening panels.
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Just watch all of season 1 in one sitting and my god if you haven't watch that show, go fuck yourself. I remember the period between Malcom in the Middle and Breaking Bad where Craston appeared on the terrible Thank God Your Here and was the worst person on the show. So when I heard he had his own show I was thinking that damn its gonna suck. But when I saw it week for week I was blown away, all the performances worked and it has a believability to it and realism that I haven't seen before. Such a good show.
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I've got mine. One day we can all show up here with our new identities and try to guess who everyone is. Admit it...we've done stranger things.
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Have a good weekend
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Nilbog (for the fucking win) and Jarv1 are reserved. Chipps- We're not personally mean to Harry, but that Cool cuts column is inflammatory shite. If I did something so nepotistic for Mrs. Jarv, then I'd expect to be on the receiving end of a shitstorm.
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The weekend was Lock Up (OK), Sharks in venice (Aside from the comedy value of Vanessa Johannssen, pretty shite. Too much Baldwin not enough shark), and...... Watchmen.
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4/10 and that's all for the guy playing Rorschach. Hated every fucking minute of it, and this is why.... Pointless slo-mo, I was kind of expecting it, because it's snyder, but in Watchmen which is, lets face it, fucking dense, anything that takes you out of the movie is a bad thing. And although it did "look" cool, every time it came up I was snapped out of the movie. Soundtrack. You're all right, it is a great soundtrack. It's also unbelievably cliched and hugely distracting. Once again, Anything that takes you out of this movie is a bad thing, due to how fucking dense it is. As with Slo-Mo, I get the feeling that they were picked for "being cool" rather than to actually help the film3)IT WAS BORING. How the fuck nobody is saying this is beyond me. It was mind-numbingly dull, and I know why: the source material isn't that good. I'm not in love with the comic, at all, but I have to say that this wasn't a film- they literally took chunks of the comic and just ejaculated them on screen in the worst example of fanboi masturbation since the predalien. All the problems with it relate directly to this. What works on the page does not work on the screen- especially regarding dialogue. There were huge swathes of dialogue that were just mind-numbingy self-important, and huge sections of the film just drowned under this weight. 4) Pretension- I kind of could see this coming but the use of Ride of The Valkryies in vietnam was utter shite, as was dressing Ozy like a gay hood ornament. I can see the thinking- Comic= deconstruction of comics, therefore Movie= deconstruction of movies. WANK. 5)Ozy- fuck off. Terrible performance. Gay, lisping twat. I think there is a throwaway line from Rorschach in the comic about Ozy loving the cock, and they seemed to base the whole character on this. 6)Makeup. In a film costing however many hundreds of millions of dollars, there's no excuse for shite makeup. 7)Dr. Mahatten. I appreciate that it is nigh-on impossible to accurately portray god in a film, but Crudup was from the Brad Pitt/ LOTR "speak slowly and it will make you seem otherworldy and give your words extra portentious weight". Horseshit, and boring. 8)Wastefulness, if you're going to excise squiddy (something I was fine with), then what the fuck is the point of doing Ozy's genetically engineered cat thingy? And there was loads of shit like this. I have to say that if I hadn't read the comic, I may not have been as bored and dismayed as I was by it, because at least then it would have felt fresh instead of stale as month old toast. Didn't mind blue dong. Barely noticed in fact. The good- performances (aside from goode), especially Rorschach, the opening montage, Crudup as Osterman not Dr. Manhatten, Overall, don't like it. And Frank, I don't know if you're reading this, but I cannot think of a film less suited to you. Avoid like a fat herpes-ridden whore.
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buried in there. It's just being suffocated. They should have said "fuck the fanboy's lets ADAPT this properly and make a kick-ass movie".
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at no point did I believe he could kick the Comedian's old ass, let alone Rorschach. He looked like a 12 year old ice-dancer. Oh, and I forgot- the end. Admittedly I was bored to ribbons by this point, but fuck me- when Nite Owl was pounding on Ozymandias, I was thinking, what the fuck? how shit is this? To misuse Dr. Manhatten's line from the comic (which is a fucking great moment- akin to "Donkey's live a long time" in Animal Farm in terms of ominous weight) the way they did was just daft. Jarv will not be rewatching the Watchmen. Oh, and hilariously, the cinema we went to had it called "The Watchmen" on the signs outside. How funny. Me and Mrs. Jarv were standing behind a group of nerds (some of who were reading the comic waiting for the lights to go down, and all of who applauded), who bitched solidly about this. It's made for the die-hard nerds. If you don't particularly like the comic, you won't like it.
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I really am workshy.
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that sex scene is laughably bad. But it's shite in the comic. However, if we've been watching them fuck then there really is no need for the ejaculation symbol of the shooting flame. Just childish and groan-inducing. That's a prime example of what I'm talking about with it being too literal. Would it have hurt the movie to just fade out? It's 18 rated for fuck's sake, we're not 12 year old's giggling "oooooh flame shot out when he came, hehehehehe, that's really funny"
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300 is better. 300 is stupid disposable homerotic nonsense, but at least it doesn't try to be something it isn't. I can have a few beers and laugh at it- something I can't imagine doing with Watchmen.
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It's fucking stupid that none of the characters apart from The Comedian smoked (I'm looking at you Laurie), she smoked like a fucking chimney in the comic, and it's PC stupidity of the highest order for her not to be smoking if you're going to just dump the whole thing on screen. I know this is a TDK level of nitpicking, but really....
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Mar 09, 2009 4:44:18 AM CDT
8 weekend flicks = 61 for 2009
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Shadow of a Doubt – Another Hitch I hadn’t seen. Pretty good.
Watchmen – I will write my thoughts on this in a subsequent post because they are numerous.
The Vanishing – The original Dutch/French version, not the dogshit Hollywood version. Talk about an fascinatingly depressing flick. Brilliant, especially in it’s logic, but a kick in the guts as well.
Not Another Teen Movie – Stuck this on after The Vanishing because I just needed something dumb and distracting. Not the greatest spoof in the world, but it does have it’s moments. Particularly liked the ‘serenade her with a song with her name in it’ scene and Randy Quaid affectionately calling his daughter Pumpkinhead.
To Kill A Mockingbird – Wandered across this Saturday arvo treat. Brilliant. Duvall as Boo Radley FTW!
Pleasantville – Not as good as I remembered it being. Felt a little too heavy handed.
Best in Show – Absolute genius. Everything Willard says is gold.
Blow Out – Never seen it before. Got to see more early DePalma. Pretty good. Travolta was good. And a very young looking John Lithgow.
Morning… Jarv. Since you’re probably the only one here right now.
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I think I'm alone in the Watchmen hate.
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Scarjo's sister is the worst actress ever. And that german designer can fuck off. That's precisely what I was talking about.
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Which is rubbish as I remember.
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A generous 5/10 What an absolute mess of a film. There are many things to like, but the problems are far too numerous and damning.
After reading the funnybook and watching the movie, all the problems come back to one thing. The story isn’t very good. What irked me about the funnybook, is magnified by the film. The central “mystery” doesn’t have a strong enough narrative pull to get us through the glut of peripheral information. The film is a confused mess.
What also annoyed me greatly, is choices made by Snyder about slo-mo. I don’t believe slo-mo is a bad thing. It can be used to great effect. But you have to know when and why to use it. Snyder doesn’t. The opening fight between Comedian and Ozy should’ve been entirely in regular speed. The speed and sheer brutality of it would’ve been like a kick in the face and set the film up perfectly. We would’ve sat up and taken notice. Instead Snyder undermines impact with ultra slo-mo shots of a fist on Comedians face or the fancy shot of Comedian getting thrown from one side of the room to another. A missed opportunity.
Dr. Manhattan is such a boring fucking character. His pontificating on Mars is absolutely boring as hell.
The soundtrack was filled with individually great songs, but they did not add up to a great soundtrack. There’s a difference. Can we PLEASE have a moratorium in film on ANY VERSION OF ‘HALLELUJAH’! It’s a fucking cliché now. ‘99 luftballoons’ was a clanging moment, as was Rise of the Valkyrie. ‘The Times They Are a-Changin' was well used in the best section of the film. That My Chemical Romance cover of Desolation Row on the end credits is a fucking abortion.
Rorschach is the only truly interesting character. He also has the best moments in the film, particularly the prison scenes. A film about this guy might’ve been interesting.
Other than Rorschach and The Comedian, all the rest are boring.
Another thing that annoyed the crap out of me is the fact that they are all amazing fighters and essentially do things no human being can do. Apart from Manhattan, they are all humans, with human limitations. This, I thought, was the point of the funnybook. I never believed Ozy was capable of the things he does in the funnybook, like catching the bullet. “I didn’t know if it was possible until I did it.” Bullshit. Snyder wisely altered that slightly to make the gloves on the suit bullet proof. Rorschach moves around like he’s on wires. Nite Owl is a tubby bastard who nevertheless kicks the absolute shit out of everyone. The scenes where Nite Owl and Silk Spectre bash the shit out of the gang, and then break into the prison and slo-mo bash their way through a crowd of prisoners are the worst scenes in the film.
There was less blue cock than I was expecting.
Ozy was too fucking young. He looks about 25. Not for one second did I believe anything about the character.
The squid replacement. Nope. Didn’t work either. I’m not even sure about the specifics around this change anyway. It’s such a confusing mess that I couldn’t follow the explanation. I’m not even sure if there was an explanation.
The moment at the end where Ozy tells Rorschach that he’s not some villain in a comic book? CLANG! Way too fucking self-aware.
How do they get back up into Nite Owls flying machine? Who cares, because it sure did look cool when he dropped out like that.
The journal in the ‘crank file’ at the end had zero impact because very little was made of the journal throughout the film, therefore we didn’t really know what information it contained and how damning that would be.
Ultimately, the problem with the film starts and finishes with the story and characters. It’s not good enough and they aren’t interesting enough.
As a great man once said, ‘You can’t polish a turd’.
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Mar 09, 2009 6:00:51 AM CDT
On that note, I'm off for a smoke
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Then I might consider doing some work!
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did you read my mind? I think people that like Watchmen fall into 2 categories- those that know nothing about it, and those that adore the source material. If you've got a similar opinion to me about the GN, then the film is going to suck
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but basically all the criticism of the acting has been on Akerman and I thought Crudup (in a thankless role, admittedly) and Goode were far worse.
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but not as dull as the montage of his life with the voice over. That was paiful and should have been excised.
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Mar 09, 2009 6:31:07 AM CDT
Yeah, that whole sequence is shit in the book and film...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
It's 25 years ago and she buys me a beer and our hands touch, its now and i'm on mars, its 50 years ago and my father is teaching me how to fix a watch, its 20 years ago and i'm getting my balls licked blah blah blah Boring!
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Mar 09, 2009 6:34:22 AM CDT
I didn't think Akerman was bad
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
The problem is no one except the actors who were Rorschach and Comedian had anything to work with. Manhattan is a shit character, and there is no way to portray that character differently. Ozy was atrociously miscast.
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Something Mrs. Jarv said, that was fucking funny- As they've lifted teh comic wholesale, why did they make Manhatten's dong bigger? She asked this because the image of him in the comic is clearly from that Leonardo Da Vinci sketch- Yet in the film they give him a few more inches. She has read it, and that never even occurred to me, funny what a chick's perspective gives.
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Mar 09, 2009 6:36:06 AM CDT
I can't remember seeing Akerman in a film...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
where she doesn't get her tits out. Harold and Kumar? Tits out. The Heartbreak Kid? Tits out. Watchmen? Tits out.
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her character development is just too fucking random- she goes for dinner with an Old Friend to falling in Love with him instantly. There's no motivation for her actions provided in the source.I almost think she was reduced to just reciting lines due to the utter duffness of the character. I agree with that Manhatten observation and with Goode- who was by far the weak link
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Mar 09, 2009 6:40:36 AM CDT
I made a point of checking that
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Purely for comparison of course! I wanted to see if they would faithfully adapt the tiny penis. I'm surprised the geeks haven't got upset at that.
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so I don't mind them getting out. It didn't make up for the amount of Fat Owl's ass.
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I suspect he'll fucking hate it- it's too fucking self-important for him.
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I think it's easier to accept if you haven't read it. I saw it with my sister and she thought it was okay.
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Mar 09, 2009 6:56:50 AM CDT
Mrs. Jarv hadn't finished it- and doesn't think she will now
by lost jarv
as aside from Rorschach, she fucking hated it. I told her the end was different and her words were "don't fucking care"I think Frank has read it hasn't he? Anyhoo, the point is, this is really a film to see with no knowledge of the source at all, I reckon, otherwise you're just sitting through shit you've already seen. Not to mention the fact that it's shit that wasn't that interesting in the first instance.The difference between doing this with a funny book and a novel, is that with a novel there is only the pictures that you've created in your head- the shots that the director used are therefore new. But with the funny book the shots are laid out on the page. So to reproduce them like Snyder did is just a complete fucking waste of time- an exercise in deja vu for the audience. Best cut they made? No black freighter garbage.
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Mar 09, 2009 6:59:00 AM CDT
I saw the new Star Trek trailer
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
and I have to say it... That is one hell of an awesome trailer. I have gone from having zero interest in it, to quite interested. Solely based on that trailer.
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my least interested in thing. And it's a prequel. And it's JJ Abrams. Could not care less.
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I can't fucking stand Star Trek. I can't fucking stand JJ. Prequels are redundant shit. But the trailer has me interested. Therein lies the mystical powers of an amazing trailer.
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and my level of interest is such that even sitting through 30 odd seconds of it seems like too much work.
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You may be surprised
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I'm bound to.
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Mar 09, 2009 7:27:08 AM CDT
To be honest, if you're not interested after seeing it...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
you're never going to be interested. I'm still confused that I am.
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is just one of those things that I don't get why people like it/ give a shit about it. The movies work like Valium for me, and the series is just meh.
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Never liked it. At all. Always bemused by those who do. Everything about this film has stunk thus far. All the previous trailers were awful. Which is why this trailer is so amazing. It actually has me interested. Do I think the movie will be as good as the trailer? No way. But I've gone from not seeing it, to definitely seeing it.
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I'm sorry to hear that your Watchmen experiences were less than stellar. I haven't read the source material so hopefully it'll go better for me.On the bright side, we have a new movie to add to the CoC cannon of B-movie cheese: Punisher War Zone.It's quite possibly more violent than Rambo. Was not expecting that level of brutality. Also, I wasn't expecting it to be a B-movie. It's actually going along like your typical "realistic" comic movie and then the bad guy goes through his Joker-esque transformation and declares that he shall now be called Jigsaw. At that point the director turned the lunacy dial up to 11 and much hi-larious gore ensued.I just don't see how this movie won't be universally loved by everyone here.Also watched Futurama: Into the Wide Green Yonder. Funny as hell.Damn that Frank and his two weeks off. I could really benefit from something like that.
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Mar 09, 2009 7:52:00 AM CDT
Anyway, I'm boring myself talking about Star Trek
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
And once everyones seen it, we can hopefully put to bed all talk of Watchmen.
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Mrs. Jarv thinks I'm a moron for things like this, and she was less than chuffed about Shark in Venice. Luckily for me, Watchmen was her fault so I was able to use it to deflect her ire. Donor, I think you'll have a similar reaction to it that you had to TDK- admittedly you won't get the crushing sense of "seen it" that I had, but it's so pretentious that it's very hard to like.
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I suspect it fell into the Outlander bracket of "he should have but didn't for some unknown reason"
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He should have because it needed more love.Stevenson has probably the least amount of dialogue of anyone in the movie. But he's perfect for the role. You'll love it, Jarv. You'll rewind the scene of the guy who gets his brain blown out of the back of his head, falls over a railing and breaks his neck on the way down as many times as I did.I wasn't as ga-ga for "300" as fanboy nation was. I thought it was passable entertainment but if I'm going to go all out sword and sandals gore, I'll stick in Gladiator instead.
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I laugh at it, but I don't think it's actually any good. That's how much I dislike Watchmen. At least there is some fun to be had from 300. Oh and some cunt needs to slap Snyder for lifting Oldboy blatantly for the prison break out.
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One stark shot from the side, with no editing. Brutal, human brawling, that just looked like a bunch of scared people trying not to get hurt and at the same time trying to hurt somebody. Like a real fight. The prison fight in Watchmen just looked like any other super stylized comic book mess.
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But it was the obvious source of it. It was OK in Watchmen, but that is all.
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You know, something I notice a lot more recently is how so many movies are stitchworks of other movies.That really hit me with Punisher. It was a fine film mind you, but the post plastic surgery scene where the villain is all wrapped up, the bandage comes off, he looks at himself in the mirror was lifted right out of Burton's Batman. Even the angle were identical. In Punisher though it felt like an homage and not a blatant rip off.
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especially with that shot of someone/ SOmething's head emerging from a pool. It's always the same as that Apocalypse Now shot. The most recent one I can think of was The Descent.
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With Voice over, is essentaily issue 3, which I thought was one of the best issues. Moore tried to pretty much do the same thing in issue 6 with Rorschach and his Dr. going over Rorschachs life, but it wasn't half as good as the Manhattan version. I've yet to see the movie. Though it looks like its going to be just a fan boy event pick judging by the numbers, 300 debuted much better.
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Transporter 3 is shipping today. YES! By the way PC: TCON is fucking boring.
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what is that?
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it's Ok on the page, but fucking tedious on film. This is the big problem with the whole film. They could have taken far more in the way of liberties with the comic and improved it for the screen immeasurably. It's worth noting that they took one fuck of a liberty, cutting squiddy, so I find it surprising that they were scared to do more. Other things that could have gone: Nite Owl's wet dream doesn't add anything,
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Not the movie, the actor Jim Caviezel on seeing him talk about playing JC in a church on Sunday. Now I by no means am a religious person, nor do I even believe in the concept of religion, its just a means to get cash, and for old ladies to have a reason for hating everything that they do. So I had heard good things about the Jim Caviezel church tour speeches he's done. Now I can't think of the last time I was in a church, it was either at a Pope John Paul Christmas mass at the Vatican or seeing other bloody church while site seeing in England. So I'm a little behind the curve when it comes to modern day rock and roll American church. So I rolled into church trying as politely as possible to avoid eye contact with all the greeters and people wanting to shake my hand making me feel welcomed for no good reason. I got a nice seat in the back with no one next to me on either side, and stood (no one else was sitting damnit! And I didn't want to stick out, I know religious people and if you don't do everything like everyone else they will fucking call you out)while listing to rock band made up of 20 somethings sing Jesus rock to a crowd with the average age being around 40. The music was so loud and obnoxious made me miss the days of the boring Church hymn. So luckily I didn't get there two early and only suffered through 2 songs. Finally the pastor got on stage and talked about shit, gave a prayer about getting us more money, then proceeded to tell us about all the different ways we could contribute RIGHT FROM OUR OWN SEAT! In fact there were fucking slips so you could put your credit card info on a slip of paper and stick it in the donation box. Fucking outrageous. Then the pastor goes on to explain that you can use it as a tax deductible! Anyways JC comes on. Talks about what a weirdo Mel is. Tells us how he broke his shoulder and how when he goes to put his arm around the cross he did it so slowly like he was cradling the world, Mel loved that he did it that way and asked him why, well it was because he broke his hand. So all in all the speech/interview wasn't overly preachy. He mentioned how the devil was trying to stop him from doing the movie by being stuck my lightning, but last time I checked god controls that naturally occurring event. He said something that was kind of moving,"I'd rather have my name written in the heavens, then be an actor or somebody down here" or something like that. He went on to talk about how pussified religion has become and how we aren't afraid of the Devil, which I thought was cool and very scary at the same time. He mentioned how he was the only religious person on the Passion set. Though I couldn't help but wonder about his lack of Outlander stories. So his time finishes up and I notice the pastor is now holding this brightly colored box/book thing. TURNS out the mother fucker is just there to fucking hawk a book at us. Some new bible read by celebrates (I saw Micheal York on the box and the dude from Iron Eagle I think, LGJ), with a full orchestra playing in the background. Which sounded actually kind of cool because I would like to read the bible one say (I'm a HUGE FAN OF FICTION BOOKS!) but if there is a good books on tape version I'd take that as well. OK church is over go outside to get JC's autograph. I get out before most of the people, I mean this was like a mini stadium, I've been to smaller concerts for bigger bands, and I see Jim and there was a small lined formed I got in line with my Outlander and Passsion ticket stub to get signed....BUT FUCKING NO. He was only signing copies of his new bible and no photos. But the fucking bible was $35 god damn dollars! They were kicking people out of line who didn't have a copy of the celebrity enforced version of the bible so I Christian Baled on his ass, and couldn't help but wonder how much cooler that speech would have been had it been Christian talking about playing JC. In fact I'm pretty sure he could do the same lecture circuit because he probably thinks he plays Jesus in every movie he makes anyway. Afterwards I thought about that I should've tried to stay in the line and guilt them into letting me get my shit signed (since I really didn't even have $35 books for a fucking book) but I know religious people and if I caused a scene or made them question their beliefs, they would've took me round back and crucified me.
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Prince Caspian: The Chronicles Of Narnia
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like and hour late for shit work.
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Shouldn't it be TCON: PC? I'm not surprised that it's dull.
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I loved it Series.
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It sounded alright. I still wanna give it a shot when I get the chance.Well, off to work now. Later fellas.
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Mar 09, 2009 9:25:31 AM CDT
Yes, Caspian does indeed bore one shitless.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
And Caviezel sounds like a bit of a tool.
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Mar 09, 2009 9:29:14 AM CDT
And Caviezel needn't be scared of the devil
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Though, he should be terrified of Mad Mel!
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How toolish.
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...so A-FUCKING-MEN he would have autographed the real Bible, The New Christian Bible, a ticket stub, a copy of When Harry Met Sally, or your dick.
http://tinyurl.com/c2lygw -
Mar 09, 2009 9:49:46 AM CDT
Caviezel has always seemed like a pedophile to me.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Alan Horn, head of WB hates smoking and refused to allow anyone but the "hero/villain" Blake to smoke. Its weird. Its okay for bad guys to do it (especially if its cigars), but not okay for the good ones. And I guess cigars aren't really addicting.
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Fuck Alan Horn. Smoking rules.
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Too right. How fucking twatty.
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Watchmen is essentially a period piece, and Laurie having become a teenager in the 60's/70's would absolutely fucking smoke. Pathetic.
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I can't handle more than 2-3 cigars a week. And I certainly don't crave one every day. And I can go weeks at a time without one.But that may be more a financial thing.
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He needs to watch more Mad Men. Smoking like chimneys I say. Brings the realism.
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Alan Horn sounds like a douche. It's daft- if it's a period piece then they should smoke. I don't believe this bollocks anyway, smoking in films had nothing at all to do with my habit.
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I've never had the urge to go out and buy one on my own. Maybe I just don't have an addictive personality.
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But I know plenty of people totally fucking hooked on cigars that have 2-3 per day and inhale those bad boys.
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It's very simple, I agree with Jarv and Driod 110% and the only thing I have to add this somewhat humerous story from the movie theater I saw it in.I saw The Watchmen in a San Francisco in a theater I believe I might have been the only breeder in the theater. Everytime the blue schlong appeared on screen thier was applause.
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No fucking way. Thats awesome. Maybe thats the way it was meant to be seen. I'm willing to drive 5 hours to San Fran if it will make my experience more enjoyable. -
Does it really feel like they have super powers? That was my issue with the trailer. It just seems far fetched to get the audience to believe these are ordinary schmos that put on masks, and then proceed to show them fighting and moving as if they have the same power as any character in Matrix.
And Ozy's cat/dog whatever the fuck that thing is....is it in it? Totally CG? How does it look? Skimming through the book, that is one of the designs that looked like dogshit to me. -
Mar 09, 2009 11:01:58 AM CDT
I had two chicks in my cinema cooing...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
every time the cock made an appearance. A chick who coo's every time they see a cock is strangely appealing.
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The applause wasn't theater wide but it was more then a some isolated hand clapping.
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I can't type today. proof read, fuck that.
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Mar 09, 2009 11:05:42 AM CDT
It's one of my issues with it, Danny
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
They are supposed to be ordinary people who don costumes and fight crime. In the funnybook it was this way. No one was superhuman. In the flick, they're superhuman. It misses the entire point of the book. I talked to a colleague who has seen it, but hasn't read it and when I brought that up he agreed that he couldn't understand it.
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I want THAT on my tombstone.
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Mar 09, 2009 11:08:35 AM CDT
As for the Ozy's cat thing...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
It's briefly in the film at the end. As Jarv said, it makes no sense if they are changing the ending from the genetically created squid. It looks computer generated.
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I pointed that out when the trailer first dropped, to me -- as a non reader, it looks like Rorschach definitely had powers. The followers got all upset and started talking about his grappling hook gun and shit and my point was-- to casual moviegoer audience, running up walls with or without a grappling hook = superpower. I just thought the point of the whole thing is they DON'T have power. It seems no one talks about this really. They are too fixed on arguing other minute details. I would think this would be a big one.
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I second droid's comment. Rorschach in particular jumps around like a mutant in X3. And Bubastis is in it- and looks like shit. It's quite good when he dies though.
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if the distance is further than 5 minutes. It's not worth it. Don't risk a traffic jam or anything that will piss you off. Just get the dvd, some beer and new batteries for your remote so you can pause and fast forward it without hassle. It isn't good- proof again that if Harry likes something, then the chances are good that I won't.
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Mar 09, 2009 11:20:20 AM CDT
Some dude's nabbed the name 'white_vader'
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
The problem with open registration is you don't know the regulars who are using different names!
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isn't the Superpower thing. It's that Ozy looks like he's about 12. They like it because it is literally fanboi wank- all it is is the funnybook regurgitated onto the screen. It's boring, pointless, overrated, naff, trite, stupid shite. Avoid
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Which is a shame. Means I may have something positive to say about the experience.
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Mar 09, 2009 11:24:11 AM CDT
Awwwww fuck. I should have gotten White Vader.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Sadly thats not me.But I really enjoy the random names that pop up. For some reason they are always only around for a day or two.....My favorite was: MERRICKS_RETARDED_12YEAROLDSON
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It looks like five pounds of shit stuffed in a three pound bag.I'll third the comments about the character acting like they have some sort of superpower, they seem to take the DC Comic approach of having them be "meta human"If it wasn't for the Rorschach and Comediene character being so damm well acted the movie would be considered a half star at best in my opinion.
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Mar 09, 2009 11:26:02 AM CDT
Danny, don't drive to see it...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
even if you know some random chick will coo at your cock and gobble it for the entire duration of the film, including trailers. It's not worth it.
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Rorschach never runs up walls. That particular shot you are referencing his him getting a big jump up on some sort of rooftop ladder. He doesn't have any powers. He's just a nimble fellow. As for this "powers vs non-powers" debate, I have to interject that yes, while they are normal pple in the book and movie, they are extremely good fighters. To hear complaints like "They fight too well!" is absurd, especially if you're *not* going to make the same case in a Batman film like "The Dark Knight" where the man doesn't have powers either, but is just a way above average fighter. The book and film is supposed to be more about the psychology- not the physicality.
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I gave it 4 out of 10 and 2 of those were down to Rorschach. If it wasn't for him then it would be a 2 or 1 out of 10 film. It's complete garbage and the longer I think about it the worse it gets.
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Damnit! Also grabbed WhiteD.Vader.
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by a long way.
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and with that I'm off to class. Latah Playas, keep on pimpin.
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No. When I see Batman catch a bullet or pick someone up and sling them into a wall so hard the wall breaks, then too right I'll make that comparison. What's irritating about the fighting (I had no problem about them kicking ass well) is that the cracking wall shit is so unnecessary. Like the Slo-Mo or jumping 20 feet from Archie or the rest of Snyder's stupid, wanky stylistic touches.
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Nice low budget flick.
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And quite a lot of fun to shovel into your nostrils.
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Mar 09, 2009 11:36:50 AM CDT
I gave it a generous 5 out of 10...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
and four of those are for Rorschach. Even if he floats about like he's on the moon. Damn, that's a flick I'd pay to see. Rorschach and the Lesbonauts Vs Werewolves on the Moon. Directed by Renny Harlin! The point of the book was that they were ordinary people who could handle themselves who donned costumes to fight crime. They weren't Neo, taking on hoardes of people and never getting so much as a hair on their head touched. In the flick, Owl and Spectre start dodging punches before they are even thrown. You can see this clearly because everythings in slo-mo!
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Jumping 20 feet from Archie? You mean like when Batman drops off rooftops and lands on cars? And the catching the bullet thing was straight from the novel, as you know. He talked about attempting to catch bullets, thinking he had figured out the right combination of speed and strength. In the film that was complimented with what looked like bullet-proof gloves. You're still complaining about something that occurs in the Batman films.
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fluid, choreographed ballet recitals.
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"In the flick, Owl and Spectre start dodging punches before they are even thrown. You can see this clearly because everythings in slo-mo" Unarguable. I thought the fat cunt with the power of impotence had spider sense. Why is that fucking scene even in it? It doesn't add anything. Is it there for people like me that were losing the will to live, because it didn't fucking work. All it did was piss me off.
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No, you didn't. That's the point. They were ordinary people but above-average fighters. Again, you guys are focusing on the wrong thing. Moore didn't write the thing to show normal Batmen-types getting the shit kicked out of them like that new comic "Kick Ass" or whatever its called. It was about the psychology of what would drive someone to attempt it. This is why you never see these "heroes" get beat up (with the exception of Blake and the fight scene at the end).
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Mar 09, 2009 11:41:30 AM CDT
Mystery Men wins hands down...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
for no other reason than Geoffrey Fucking Rush as... CASANOVA FRANKENSTEIN!!!
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his descent. The Comedian did not. When in a Batman film did he throw someone into a wall so hard it cracked? and I mean a Nolan one.
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You were predisposed toward hating the film. We shouldn't be surprised that anything in the film pissed you off. Which is why I'm not going to even attempt to debate the film, just as I didn't debate the graphic novel, because its just pointless. However, I will discuss what I see as fallacious arguments/criticisms, and this "super powered fighting" is one of them. For all the things wrong with the movie, you're focusing on something that's hardly important.
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Bc in Dark Knight when he fell off the roof holding onto Maggie G, he spread his cape out to slow them down...
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Where it cracked? In the novel Blake is shoved hard into a wall, breaking the glass frame of a picture behind him. Not sure if that's how it happened in the film. Blake did however punch into the corner of a wall, busting some of it out. Ridiculous in the real world, but still this is *not* the real world. And that shot was thrown in there to show that this *was* someone of considerable skill and strength, fighting as hard as he could, giving it everything he had in what was a life or death situation, and yet he was still getting the absolute shit kicked out of him.
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Because its the point of the book. If you're going to examine the psychology behind an ordinary person donning a suit and fighting crime, you do not undermine that with showing said person bashing a hoarde of bad guys with what is obviously superhuman strength and agility.
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that isn't one of my major problems with it- I'm actually fine with the Meta-human concept, and it's a deviation from the source that I'm ok with.
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it just didn't do anything for me. And I wasn't predisposed to hate the film. You're misquoting me. I was sceptical about the film, and the fanboy howling did put me off a bit, but I was actually pleased with ditching the Squid. I said as much on more than one occasion.
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Indeed. http://tinyurl.com/9d9p4m
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well established in Begins- and also TDK. It was dumb, sure enough, but it was properly established. Anyway, my problems with it are mostly down to the slavish translation onto screen- see Nite Owl's wet dream for example.
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kudos to Milius. But until people like Orci stop getting hired, this isn't likely to change.
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Orci & Kurtzman worked on the Watchmen script. Uncredited according to the always reliable sources at Wikipedia.
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They just didn't nip down Xerox with a copy of the funny book? Could have fooled me.
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I'm not 100% fine with it. But it comes way down my list of gripes. Hope that makes sense.
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then you'll like the film, and if you don't know the comic then you'll like it. It's people like me that are indifferent to it that won't like it. You love the comic, fair enough, so therefore you like it- the film is the comic on screen for the most part. I am indifferent so just sat there with a sense of mounting irritation, terminal deja vu and increasing boredom. I wish they'd adapted it rather than transcribed it, because there is a good film in there struggling to get out.
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As I read the book and as I watched the movie, I still treated these characters as meta-humans in the Batman vein. Real people but better than average. So it never bothered me.
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On Halloween. Or if he just dresses like that normally everyday of the year...
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Jesus, no place on AICN is safe.As this group is cookoo bananas over zombies, anyone here playing Left 4 Dead? Just got it over the weekend and it's the most fun I've had playing a game in a while.
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and it will be the last thing I say about it- my problem isn't that they can do all this stuff- it's the slo-mo. This takes me out of it altogether and just doesn't add anything. It's distracting, irritating and above all else makes it impossible to suspend disbelief. For example: Rorschach hopping like spidey up the wall didn't bother me, but Laurie's Spider Sense ducking early under a kick did. One is dumb but forgivable, the other is stylistic masturbation that actually makes it almost impossible to believe that the characters are just human. A pox on Slo-Mo.
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Pillows said above, and I agree with him, that there should be a suspension of the whole "1 person bitten but hides it schtick" for a long fucking time. I recently read World War Z, which is excellent and there were so many great ideas in it that I never considered before- Zombies in water for example. Recommended. Highly. Before Hollywood ruins it.
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I can see how that would work out- its those indifferent to the novel that don't like the film. It makes sense, especially since, as you said, it is pretty slavish to the source. Or its the really diehard fanboys like drturing and RowdyRoddyStripper that end up hating it bc of its small differences. I've only talked to one person in real life that hadn't read the book but saw the novel, and he enjoyed it. Everyone else I know is trying to read it before they go to the theater.
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Too bad I have a Wii and not a PS3 or 360.
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I'm such a slow reader anyway. I need to look into that sucker, though, to make sure I'm not rehashing any of Brooks' ideas in my scripts for other Zombie Hunters episodes.
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Mar 09, 2009 12:27:24 PM CDT
"Everyone else I know is trying to read it before they go to the
by lost jarv
I would recommend seeing it first. I think it's a big fucking mistake. The difference being, that you can put a book down and come back to it when the mood takes you, but if you do it the other way round and it hasn't worked 100% for you then it's a fucking long and boring 2 1/2 hours.
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It's ingenuous. Really well thought out, and each voice is very, very distinctive. It's top drawer stuff. I think the "blame" chapter is the best. That's all too worryingly feasible.
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I feel like some of my ideas are pretty original and I'd hate to read a few of them in WWZ, bc then I'd get depressed and stop work on whatever script had that particular idea. Its like when I finally watched "Dawn of the Dead" a few weeks ago. Got upset that my idea for "Zombie Hunters" was just an extension of an idea Romero already had 30 years ago.
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Depends what you are doing with hunters. The first 2/3 of it (give or take) are about humanity losing, the mano e corpso action is mostly in the last third. What have you used? I'll know if it was in it.
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Mar 09, 2009 12:51:38 PM CDT
I wish they hadn't opened up registration again
by hawaiian organ donor
Now we're getting names like SLY_STALLONES_COCK_VEIN. Danny, you really spawned a new generation.I actually play Left 4 Dead on my PC. I'm the anti-nerd. I'd rather play games on my computer than a game console.Although I do loves me some Wii. I need to pick up that dueling lightsabers game.
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I'll buy a PS3 eventually, but only when Final Fantasy 13 is out.
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Mrs. Jarv is here. See you tomorrow
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Not conducive to playing games on the computer, unfortunately. Don't quite understand why that is. And Jarv, I don't know if I want to discuss some of my ideas on here as I'm usually pretty private about them and have had an experience in the past where a tv show came out on Fox that was eerily similar to a feature script I had written in college and shown to pple at Scott Free.
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Bleh. I long for the days of script reviews and the like.
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I just pissed myself at work, that shit is funny.
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http://tinyurl.com/892gwf
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I would've asked him to go suck back a few goats with me that night at the bar, but he's got a thirst that can't be controlled. I'll be damned if I'm going to wind up with my head next to that bartender's!
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Kangaroo... lunatic ninja.Are there many "lunatic ninjas" on the loose in Oz? Furthermore, are there many kangaroos who bear a passing resemblance to Jackie Chan?
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Here's what I was talking about, buy that and get an office JC autograph! http://tinyurl.com/yqs8s8
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It's always good to run into another creature of the night.
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How's it going? Don't recall seeing thee round these parts often.
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Were read by Marisa Tomei, she was Mary Magdalene. It won the Christian Book of the year award? Man I really thought Snuff was going to win it this year! I wonder if Marisa's performance in the Wrestler got any Christian awards. Probably some Christian Baleies.
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Married that thing Kimora Lee Simmons. I thought Djimon would've already had like three wives and a small clan of children.
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Can't believe they wouldn't just let you grab an autograph. Don't blame yer for being pissed off. Nice looking book, though - if you like that sort of thing. So that's what Dreyfuss is doing nowadays...
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Did you come up with the idea for Hole In the Wall?
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W. As for getting an autograph, it was one of those situations were I didn't want to push it. Just being around all those religious people made me nervous, I mean they are all about their rules. And JC seems like an intense/dickhead kind of guy. So I didn't want to look like an idiot when I got in line and all I had was some movie stub tickets, I mean if I had a kid/son with me I would've made him do it in a heart beat and if JC didn't give an autograph to a little boy then he's just a dickhead. But I forget to bring a kid with me so I was flying solo on this one and lets face it 20something white dudes are usually not respect amongst anyone. Plus I didn't want to be told off by JC, and they were pulling people out of the line who didn't have books. It was all too very well monitored.
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Yeah you are right the whole concept of that book seemed pretty interesting, it was just that it was $35 and I didn't have that money. And if I did I wouldn't have shelled out the money just for an autograph that's just such a dick thing to do. See also I don't know much about JC that could have been the church's doing or his?
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They must have told JC he was strictly on church business and to steer clear of fan/actor stuff. I don't know - maybe it was his idea, if he has strong beliefs. I still think they're out of order, pulling folk out of the line, making it a 'book only' signing.
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Does anyone know if the Foo Fighters version of Tubeway Army's 'Down In The Park' is on a Foo CD at all?
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Sleep calls...Ciao.
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For all the hate they get nowadays, Lucas and Spielberg must still be some cool motherfuckers with the movie talks they had in the day. Right from the start they talk about Treasure of the Sierra Madre, Toshiro Mifune, and Eli Wallich from the Good the Bad the Ugly. That's three of my favorite things in the world of cinema, right there.
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That's probably why I have loved Indiana Jones since before I can remember. He's a culmination of just about all the other cool characters in stuff I have seen.But of course, Mifune will always reign supreme in my cinematic mind.
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Would have been better.
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Just no.
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-and Jameson Parker-now THAT-woulda been entertaining. I thought Watchmen was okay, too long, kinda stupid towards the end, ummmm I kinda prefer the ThunderKats/Watchman Spoof that guy put up there. THAT's funny
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The things Tom Selleck does now a days are at least watchable. Comapred to the crap Solo puts out, maybe Crash 2 is worth a look see.
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And who cares what Ford is doing. Ford was Indy and Solo. Regardless of anything else, he was the two characters, and he did a great job in both.Selleck was in Magnum P.I. and Friends. Uhhhhh...
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Derhhhhhhh...
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And Selleck's kickin ass in a shit load of those TNT Westerns.
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Mar 09, 2009 9:19:40 PM CDT
Series...is it true J.C. hawks his semen in dixie cups.....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...as a refreshment at those Christian events?
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Don't watch TV. Are they made for TV or are they just playing on the channel? Maybe I'll check em out.
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One of them about five years ago, he played a Free Ranger. He was pretty bad ass in it.
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I've seen a bunch of them. They're sort of hit and miss but when they get it right they're pretty good.
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Hey man, do you remember that really, really annoying Talkbacker, skywalkerfamily?
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Was fucking Quigly! He was in Boston Legal he has the pretty damn good mini series small new england town cop. Pretty much everything he does is golden, plus he seems like a nice guy. Something about that mustache.
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Jesse Stone, that's the name of the CBS mini series/movies. They are all pretty good.
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Yes sir I do. Is he back now that registration has reopened?
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Was also in Vegas right before it got shut down and made that crap watchable.
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Anyone remember the Selleck joke in that movie? Danny you were right that was a very good Disney movie, a lot better then I was expecting.
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Good, I thought you had dealings with him, too. Yes, he has returned under the moniker, lockesbrokenleg.You'll find his pointless spam-like posts in quite a few places now. I called him out in the recent BSG and the WATCHMEN/Warners Promotion TB and it's definitely him.
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The decision of choosing the leading role of Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) or "Magnum, P.I." (1980) actually haunted Selleck so much that he consulted his best friend. Together they came to the conclusion that honoring his contract with "Magnum, P.I." (1980) was the honorable thing to do. It turned out that the shooting of the pilot for "Magnum, P.I." (1980) was delayed for over 6 months, which would have enabled Selleck to complete the role of Indiana Jones. Ironically, while waiting in Hawaii for "Magnum, P.I." (1980) to commence filming, Steven Spielberg and George Lucas were also in Hawaii to shoot scenes for Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981).
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I need to go take a look at this person. I had fun tooling on him way back when.Do you remember the TBer that forced Skywalker to change his name? I think that dudes was named Suit & Tie. He had and awsome swear vocabulary and screamed at Skywalker all in caps? S&T also beat down braff08/Eggsalad. That dude was a swear artist.
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Anyone seen this trailer? It looks just like the Street Fighter trailer, which thinking back looked like the Punisher War Zone trailer. Pretty much all bad. I don't know what Fox is doing, are they using a new trailer company? Spending less money? Is one of the interns making the trailers at home on his Mac? I mean can they just not make a good trailer since non of the movies star any BIG names? Anyways this movie looks like it could be a bunch of crazy fun, its Renny fucking Harlin and produced by WWE starring John Cene and Stephen Rea (as the bad guy). I don't think John Cena is going to be the next big action hero, but he could be a good B-movie star. I dug the shit out of The Condemned, I didn't see any of their other movies. So hopefully this movie is a good action fun. This whole WWE movie productions company is bizarre to me, anyone else think its all surreal?
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WWE was involved with The Rundown and Walking Tall. Those movies were both very entertaining.
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I've seen two of the movies. They are sorta old ladyish....but he still kicks ass. The funniest shit is when he is supposed to be totally shitfaced and they dissolve to an empty bottle and he's sitting there looking exactly the same. He couldn't play drunk to save his fucking mustache.
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I thought that fucker would have reared his pedophile head by now.
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Oh yes, I remember Suit & Tie well. Much like Liberal Warrior, he could easily overtake cyphers like skywalkerfamily/lockesbrokenleg simply by force of momentum. Great stuff.Keep your eyes open - good hunting!
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Any of those talkbackers.
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Mar 10, 2009 12:38:34 AM CDT
Did you guys see this fucking teaser poster for Prince of Persia
by dannyglovers_dickblood
http://tinyurl.com/baybop
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Ok that was really lame tonight where he pulled out the diagram that looks like its straight out of Life.
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Mar 10, 2009 1:14:31 AM CDT
Shit sorry guys....that last link was the wrong one.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Here is the actual teaser poster: http://tinyurl.com/awb6h6
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John Glover plays the evil dickhead dad of the evil Lex Luthor, leaves that show to go on and play the evil dickhead dad of the evil Sylar. Up next, playing Dwight Schrute's dad on the Office.
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ---- ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
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but then he was addicted to lots of things, such as gin, opium and having sex with small boys. fucking arsehole.
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feel like shit. Have flu
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forgot about the whorish nature of studios and the fact that they read here.
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I watched Ghost Rider and Elektra. I want to say facetiously that they are both better than Watchmen, but that ain't true. Cage's syrup was hilarious though.
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I'm now on 94. I need something good for 100. Hopefully Dark Angel will arrive in time.
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having seen the movie but not read the book, i deffinitly thought ozy was super human. not only because of the fighting, but because of the contrast with his almost feminine statue and moviements. he was not portraited as the awesome fight, training in the basement, but the thinker, alone at his desk, with super powers that compensate for his size and bearing
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3 men and a Lady is a hanging offence in my book
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it's not a good film. Ozy is miscast: he isn't meant to be superhuman and he isn't meant to be 25. The slo-mo made him look more superhuman.
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drinking lemsip. Until midday when I would start drinking my mother's flu cure. I tried burning it out with a super hot curry last night, but the takeaway sent me a hot but not hot enough one. Feel like shite on toast.
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3 men and a little lady. Or 3 men and an annoying cunt. Either would have been acceptable.
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How. Fucking. Lame.
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complete cunt.
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I'm almost up to 63. Role Models - Very funny. Not exactly groundbreaking comedy but constantly amusing. Punisher War Zone - This is the 'almost' as I fell asleep about 15 minutes from the end. It's essentially ultra violent rubbish, but it's also quite entertaining ultra violent rubbish. One observation. In the world of The Punisher, there are a lot of bad guys with very soft craniums. He tends to put his fist/chair leg/gun butt through them quite easily.
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Excellent.
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to the absolute peak of the human capacity. So while the other guys are more really good brawlers and vigilantes that basically became cops and workers for the government, Oz became more of the Batman type that pretty much can't be beat. The fact that he watched like 100 televisions at a time and figured out how to turn back the hands on the Doomsday Clock probably mean he was kind of a genius also. even as he aged, he remained completely youthful and happy. So him looking a little younger actually sort of makes sense. His catching the bullet is really where we see the culmination of his powers. It's his speed, strength and dexterity working to do something truly amazing. I wonder how many people would consider Oz the hero of the movie's version. I would say the book has no hero, but the increased presence of Nixon in the movie version, in an atomic age future with a god that pretty much abandons them kinda made Ozy looks like he was doing the right thing. If he hadn't, more lives would have been lost in an atomic holocaust.
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HOD recommended it so I am definitely gonna make time for it at some point. Looking forward to those head explosions.
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Mar 10, 2009 4:24:17 AM CDT
In the funnybook, that was explained...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
and you accepted it. He also looked his age in the book. In the film, none of that was explained. He looked 25, so he came across as if he had superpowers.
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Mar 10, 2009 4:28:04 AM CDT
By describing it as "ultra violent rubbish"...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
it doesn't mean I'm saying I didn't like it. It's entertaining, in an ultra violent rubbish kinda way. By all means, watch it.
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was the second strongest/smartest person in the book. He caught on to the same thing Oz did, only he went insane and Oz had to kill him before word spread. Rorschach and Nite Owl both got their asses kicked by Oz and he didn't even have to try. When the Comedian fought Watchmen in the movie, you have to keep in mind that he was the only hero that we see fight from the first generation of superheroes. He's the only one that makes it to the second generation, and he loses his mind slowly. So when Oz shows up, the fact that he does hold him off at least a little has got to mean something. Now if only they has shot the whole thing without any CG and just filmed it rough and fast. That would have been perfect.After saying all this, I gotta add that Nite Owl punching Ozy in the face repeatedly and squealing angrily was definitely one of the worst parts of the movie.
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totally disagree with that. Ozy was an older dude in the funny book- he was also physically relatively big. At no point did I believe that that gay hood ornament could take down anyone. And I didn't give a toss who the hero was, because I was so bored
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then I've got some bridges in Manhatten to sell them.
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and neither is what Oz did, but if he hadn't thought up something, it was pretty obvious Nixon would have blown up everyone on the planet. His hand was pretty much on the button, and Doc Manhattan sure as hell wasn't gonna save anybody. He still left Who'sherface to make his own planet or something.
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I thought the film was shite, and I also think it's the worst film I've seen in the Cinema in absolutely yonks. The comic book was alright, but didn't rock my world.
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Mar 10, 2009 5:09:00 AM CDT
Can a funnybook 'rock my world'?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Maybe it's just me, but I don't think one could.
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I don't se why not, just because one hasn't yet doesn't mean that it's impossible. I admit that I'm not a fan and have a far too limited knowledge of it, but it must be possible.
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but I liked it okay DESPITE most of the slomo nonsense and general Snyder buffoonery. And yeah, I love the book, so the huge edits to pretty much all of the smaller characters IMO took out a lot of what the book is about. Part of why I think most audiences and a lot of the critics are saying the Cold War tension in the movie doesn't work well is due to the absence of all those characters. The original Night Owl, the lesbian and her girlfriend, the boy reading the comic and the news stand guy all instilled a great deal more warmth and humanity into the book than any of the heroes did. Most of them were too fucked up and obsessed with their own problems to care for anyone else. When Oz sets his plan into motion and the various cities in the world are destroyed, there is a lot more impact seeing all those dead characters you spent so much time reading about. It's tragic, and it leads you to question whether or not Oz was right. The devastation is felt, and it's pretty easy to feel skepticism about how long Oz's brutal peace would last. Also, the ending in the movie changed so much (I'm talking about after the whole big disaster thing now) that you don't even really notice any loss in the rest of the world. Instead we gotta watch some pretty lame acting and a lankier-than-he-should-be Oz prancing around throwing Nite Owl and Rorschach on their wires and using his CG sparkles on everyone.I doubt it would hold up very well to a second viewing, but I enjoyed it the first time. Sure, it was probably just me getting all excited because of how much I like the book, but they nailed some essential points of the original, so I could forgive it.
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Mar 10, 2009 5:37:30 AM CDT
I think the only way to make a good Watchmen adaptation
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
is if you did something like a 12 part HBO series (Band of Brothers style), where each episode represents one of the volumes. Then you could include all the peripheral characters that really make up the texture of the funnybook.
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And just because the press (and a certain site) latched onto Watchmen and gave it the hype-ride of its life doesn't mean people can't put Watchmen down and pick up Transmetropolitan instead. The best a guy like me can hope for is that after all this hype the movie can at least spark enough interest in the comics world for some more Trans fans to start sprouting up. The book is a far more entertaining and witty look into contemporary culture. And I think most of us CofCers would respect a couple of things Spider Jerusalem would have to say. He's like every Gonzo journalist you know, except he gives even more of a shit about his city's corrupt government, acid tripping and helping people all the way to the White House. The book is powerful too. For all its bitter wit, the author Warren Ellis has a real knack for matching comedy with some touching moments of humanity.
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C'mon you know it's gonna happen. To me, it was just a dragggg of a movie second half. There were good things all thru it, then VOOMP-back to the over-reliance on the source material. Same problem Thin Shitty had---sure you had the look and the right casting and all that, but if you wanna make Movie, make MOVIE. Taking out the Squid for example was prob. a good idea, seems goofy at the least. I think a few Giant Robots here wouldn't have hurt anything-but of course can't have everything. Suppose Rob Pallillo will play Horschach in the inevitable Disaster Movie spoof?
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disagree. I thought it was dogshit because it did exactly that- it transposed vast chunks of the comic straight onto the screen with no thought for pacing or continuity. The thought of sitting through 12 hours of it fills me with dread. To do a good adaptation, I reckon you have to take MORE liberties with the source.
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which, no coincidence is the worst of them. The best moments in it are those that they actually created for the screen. The best Harry Potter (POA) films are the ones that take real liberties with the books. Watchmen was fanboy wank and proof-positive (as if it was needed) that geeks should be ignored.
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It's one or the other. It's either make a movie and cut almost everything and leave the bare bones of the plot. But that leaves a shitty plot exposed. Or faithfully adapt it all. For good or for bad.
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Mar 10, 2009 5:55:51 AM CDT
The only Potter I think is a truly good flick is Azkaban.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I hated the first two. Didn't mind 4 and 5. They had their moments, but Azkaban was very good.
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they also seemed to be struggling with who they wanted as the hero and settled on Nite Owl. If it was me, I'd have cut most of the Dr. Manhatten shit out, seriously truncated mars, removed Nite Owl's wet dream, removed Bubastis and that's just off the top of my head. I also wouldn't have done the flame spurt at the end of the sex scene- which is exactly what I'm talking about in being too literal.
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they took plenty of liberties in making this movie. A lot has been stripped away I think you wouldn't even care about because you didn't like the book. But there's pages and pages that have been taken out or altered. It was already worse off with a less than visionary director and the incredible level of sheer blind hype that wafted around this pretty normal movie.
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and there's massive chunks of it that are literally dumped on screen (aforementioned flame ejaculation/ Nite owl's wet dream/ Dr. Manhatten story/ Comedian Back Story) that look almost identical to the comic- I'm sure they did ditch some of it, they had to but most of it was a straight transcript of the comic- it wasn't an adaptation. With the exception of Squiddy. They should have had the balls to cut more of it.
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that didn't help it. No argument there. The best review of it I've seen so far was from JOnathan Ross, who was balanced despite his obvious love for it.
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was a perfect analogy for the plot of those two characters. Normal people that want to wear tights and beat people up cause it gets them hot. The atom bomb going off behind them and disintegrating their bodies is of course symbolic of all that scary Cold War shit.Doctor Manhattan is a KEY component of the book. He represents a passive god in a world that can only doubt their faith in facing possible nuclear holocaust. Also, he is the only true "superhero" in the whole thing. His power is limitless, and he has nothing he can't beat. His character arc is one of the most fascinating in the whole story. How the fuck would someone go from being a normal person, the average human, who can't even come close to using 100% of their brain, to a super being that is essentially experiencing the entire history of the cosmos at once? It's a baffling and humbling, even terrifying question. I have sited the ending as flawed, but it's for all the crap after the basic "climax of the film." In this case, taking the squid isn't exactly necessary, but they made it work by bringing one character's arc to the forefront: Manhattan. Snyder was trying to play off of this theme of fear and skepticism of an angry God. It worked alright, but the original ending gave his character a little more balance. Keeping the original ending would have helped with the excessive appearance of his character in the movie.You're probably right about Bubastis. He looked fake, and he doesn't even really work without being a sort of hint at the ominous squid in the book. No squid, no Bubastis. Otherwise, it just looks like a 130 pound kid in a bad He-Man costume and a gay Battle Cat that's been hanging out with David Bowie a little too long. Poor design, poor execution.And come on dude, that Owl Ship spouting fire part was funny. Synder almost ruined it with the mega cheesy song and all that fatty Owl humping, but the original was a lot more discreet. The ship shooting fire was Dave Gibbon's clever little way of avoiding drawing a love scene that would have looked out of place in the book. Which is exactly what that sex scene looked like in the movie. Even with the blue balls bouncing around Mars, that scene still stuck out like a sore thumb With that Leonidas doggystyle scene in 300, I'm starting to think Snyder may have a future career in porn.
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From what I saw, Zack Snyder obviously thinks the book should have had way more fight scenes, with lots of juicy splash pages (CG and slow mo in comic-speak), and some titties. Oh, and for some reason, like fifteen good minutes of Nixon scenes that just look like they belong in Futurama. He made some great additions too, like the Comedian story, that absolutely brilliant opening, and I already said I thought the ending worked in its own way.
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but it did not add anything to the film. It was unnecessary filler- especially as his impotence is established and then his potence (?) restored by violence and the costume. This is a key difference between the media. What works and is necessary on the page was filler for the film. The fire spurt was not funny. It was lame. The film was rated 18 for fuck's sake. We do not need to see a symbolic ejaculatory flame spurt having watched one of the most cringeworthy sex scenes of ages for the last 5 mintues.
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but I'm finally watching my 30th movie right now. Raiders of the Lost Ark. This has been one of the busiest last few months of my life, with school and work, but I am doing the best I can.
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That section of the film was mind numbing. It was also done badly. The film had serious pacing problems and I put this down to slavishly following the source. Regarding transcription v adaptation- Watchmen, like the first Harry Potter film, was slavishly devoted to the source. There were huge chunks of it that I'd already, to the fucking letter, seen in the book. No thanks. I agree that he added some unnecessary shite (Nite Owl and SS beating up that gang), because he's a dick, but overall it was too slavish and too boring.
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Mar 10, 2009 6:41:20 AM CDT
"fifteen good minutes of Nixon scenes that just look like they b
by lost jarv
Fucking too right. I thought he was referencing Dr. Strangelove a few times. Which makes him a dick with the whole deconstructing the medium shite (see Ozy as gay hood ornament).
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The book doesn't even really have a sex scene. Just a few pictures of them undressing and embracing, followed on the next page by a shot of Laura nude in the dark smoking. The scene has neither the awful cliche music, the lame poro photography, or the gratuitous humping that's in the movie. So when the ship fires in the night sky in the book, it's a funny metaphor to avoid a scene that would be out of place in a pretty much sexless book. When it happens in the movie, it's just the obnoxious cherry on the dumbass sundae.
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It shouldn't have been in the film- that's my point, what works on the page is an abject failure on the screen. "When it happens in the movie, it's just the obnoxious cherry on the dumbass sundae." As perfect a description as I've ever heard.
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Fuck that. Snyder has neither the elegance nor the proper brain capacity to do such a thing with any kind of taste. He's a stylish windbag with lots of pretty pictures and not much to say. I think we can just both agree it's time to stop discussing the movie. Neither of us liked it much, and we're just crabbing at each other like a pair of grumpy old men.
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is some damn good old school brawling. I love how Indy asks for whiskey like he's ordering a drink, then smashes the bottle over the guy's head. This movie has an irony about it the whole way through that has always made me chuckle. And you gotta love the stunts. I am getting giddy just thinking about that truck chase in the movie with Indy dragging on the road with his whip. What a kickass scene.
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Raiders is such a good film.
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The market chase in Raiders. The score is perfect here. Love Indy bullwhipping the local scum and dodging the Nazis. Basket chase is some cute little comedy. I remember I always laughed when she hits that one creep with the frying pan. It's a little corny but it works great in the light action. Then of course, there's the iconic indy blasting the sword idiot. Although I have always wondered how that scene would have looked if Ford wasn't too tired to have pulled the gun prank.Anybody think if Selleck had been Indy we could have seen a good fight with the sword idiot? We should take a vote.
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Anybody else ever think that guy that helps Indy with the reading the medallion was totally fucking insane? Indy has cool friends.
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and I can't imagine that scene any other way.
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How fucking lame.
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Shit dude, I think we have really bonded tonight. All evening everybody was telling me how much Selleck would have rocked as Indy, all because he's "so good now" in a couple of made for TNT movies. Like what the fuck people?Ford Forever. Represent bitches.
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a codpiece that big has got me thinking maybe this is gonna be the next movie since Batman and Robin to become a heavy inspiration for the Gay Pride Parade. Wouldn't it be sweet if this turned out to be just like Priscilla, Queen of the Desert? Jylenhall can wear big feather dresses and travel all over Persia battling the Evil Sorceress, played by who else but Hugo Weaving as the Drag Queen of The Desert Sands of Time!Seriously Hollywood, you guys have my fucking number right?
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Since I haven't seen anything to indicate that it looks bad or good I'll reserve my judgement.
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why not do Arabian Nights if you really must do a Persian story. I was trying to think of VG films that are actually good and all I've got is Silent Hill which is OK but little else. I will not tolerate this inexplicable Selleck love. Has everyone forgotten Three Twats and a Baby, 3 Twats and a little cunt, In and Out and his annoying presence in Friends- Not to mention the Quigly shit or that horrible Quatermain bollocks. No. Selleck= Bad.
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I think Selleck needs to be drop kicked into the chipper, but I'm willing to admit he wouldn't have been a horrible Indiana Jones, I just don't think he would have had the charisma Ford brought to the role. And Ford has that boyish excitement. Take the map room scene. It's not often you see Ford looking truly alive in a role but damn if he didn't look like a 12 year old boy uncovering his dad's nudie mag stash when he discovered the location of the Well of Souls.About Punisher War Zone. Is it good? No. It is awesome? Hell yeah!And Role Models was surprisingly funny. I think even Jarv would enjoy that finale with the role playing medieval nerds.Damn good day for DVD releases. Need to go pick up Let The Right One In.
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The "Patton" scene with Jigsaw trying to recruit gang members was hilarious.Howard the Duck on DVD? Wow, I haven't seen that in over 20 years. I remember when the movie came out they pulled out all the stops to keep Howard under wraps until the movie opened. Not a single image of him had be released or leaked.Then the movie opened and it was the biggest bomb ever and nobody gave a crap what Howard looked like.
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I think it should be out soon here. It's weird that we don't already have it.
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Granted I haven't seen it for at least 15 years but I remember it fondly. I have no love for the rest of that list. Let The Right One In is a great fuckin flick. I have only one problem with it and it's an inexplicable, blink and you'll miss it shot that's entirely unnecessary. If you've seen it, you should know which one I mean.
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but can't because I'm poor:Synecdoche, New York (My Favorite Movie of 2008)Let the Right One InPinocchio (fuck yes, finally my favorite Disney movie is on DVD again)
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I loved it when I was young but saw it again by accident last year and it was shit.
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why dropped into a wood chipper? I always think of him as bland and inoffensive. Is he a horrible right wing cunt?
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But I remember it fondly. Don't shit on my fond memory, Jarv! Bastard! I've got Synecdoche. Might watch it tonight.
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Now that I'm thirty I've discovered that things I loved as a 10 year old aren't actually good- for the most part. Which explains a lot about why I look at those Transformers nerds and just scratch my head in confusion.
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Greatest news ever: Chaos TB has been restored from the Phantom Zone- see it in all it's glory: http://www.aintitcool.com/talkback_display/24309
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Nope. It's still partially deleted. What a shame.
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PREPARE TO BE JUGGFUCKLED I'm in hysterics. I may have to print this out to read later.
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Funniest line in the whole TB. Genius.
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Does the Pope sweep pedophile priests under the rug?Mind you, I'd have done the same thing to Heston.I don't mind conservative actors. I can deal with guys like Gary Sinise. It's the whackjobs like Selleck, Ron Silver and the insane Baldwin brother that I want to kick out of an airlock.Revisiting childhood movies is iffy. It works for movies like Dark Crystal that you're shocked to see has held up perfectly but can be heartbreaking for stuff like My Science Project.
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Mar 10, 2009 8:33:18 AM CDT
I am tempted to revisit Flight of the Navigator
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
but also don't want to ruin my memory of it.
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I've scrutinised the picture closely but I can't see Jake's knob at all.
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holds up surprisingly well. The Dark Crystal is epic.
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... with knobs on AICN recently? Everyone's talking about knobs.
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Stephen? He was in Sharks in Venice so he can shut the fuck up forever.
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Yes, Stephen is the right wing cunt of the Baldwin family.
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He can shut the fuck up.
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Mar 10, 2009 9:09:38 AM CDT
You know I caught a childhood favorite of mine the other day...
by series7
Caligula, and it was even better then I remembered it as a kid. First off all those scenes with unclothed people FINALLY made sense. As for the torture, blood, beheadings, incest, vomiting and gaudy sets yeah they all held up surprisingly well. In fact I think I like it even more now then I did when I used to watch it every day after school.
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Wow. That's one of the most fucked up films ever made.
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Someone stopping a car with their body in every movie now! And flipping a semi truck, these have become the gold standard as to what to expect from an action movie.
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Are you referring to Hancock and TDK?
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Mar 10, 2009 9:42:59 AM CDT
Aussies just handed it to the Saffas
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Stick that up your ass, ya Saffa pricks! *he says to no one in particular* Poms are heading towards a series loss against the Windies. Coming up soon... The Ashes!
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I'm busy pretending that it doesn't exist.
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KP and Prior are rocketing along at 10 an over at the moment. It ain't done yet.
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Absolutely NOTHING newsworthy yesterday. And now today we've got like 8 different stories. Fuckin hell.
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No way can this test be salvaged
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What is this we're talking about?
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I'm never going to get any work done.
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And I couldn't think of one good question to ask them. Sheeeeeeeit.
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If it was England batting last then a collapse wouldn't be out of the question. But you've got to remain optimistic.
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Because they took so many liberties with a story that's pretty much already laid out for them in a very cinematic way. And the treatment of secondary characters from the book in regards to the film is absolute rubbish. Its like the producers think its not important to keep the universe consistent through each film. Or they're afraid they're going to have viewers who've never seen the first 4 movies come in to the 5th and be confused. And so when they get to the last 2 films, they've screwed themselves because they haven't kept these secondary characters (specifically Dobby) who end up becoming extremely important. It pisses me off, because a lot of things could be easily explained with one or two lines here are there.
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I loathed the book so never bothered with the film. Is it worth it?
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Movie was fine. Stopped reading the books midway through 4 when they started getting as thick as The Fucking Stand. I wasn't interested enough to plough through that much wizard shit. Therefore I had no point of reference for 5. And I thought it was pretty good.
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I have to disagree that it doesn't work. The entire theater erupted in laughter, which was the intended reaction. I don't see how we can say its a failure when it got the intended rise out of the audience. Mine, anyway.
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Mar 10, 2009 10:31:07 AM CDT
General audiences are retards
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Which is why they lapped that shit up.
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If you hated the book, you may find the movie enjoyable. If you enjoyed the book, you may hate the movie. Its grown on me since seeing it the first time, and the final wizard duel at the end is pretty spectacular... But almost everything else it just shit in my opinion. The opening is great, but there's a point in the film where everything just starts being different than the book. One of the most egregious errors, in my opinion, is the absolute gutting of the climactic final scene in the book. As it stands now, until the aforementioned duel, its pretty lame. And there's a couple instances of really bad screenwriting where a character and the audience is told something important, and then someone else comes along and tries to build a mystery around said "telling" as if we didn't already know what it was. If that makes any sense, without being spoilerish.
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Cause I laughed at it.
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the audience I was in groaned. It's pointless and unnecessary. It felt forced, slightly embarrasing and, well, shit. They had 2 alternatives with that scene- imply the sex and have the flame spurt or show the sex and cut it. Either would have been fine. What was not fine was the execrable sex scene followed by the juvenile and cringeworthy spurt.
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about Harry Potter movies. I usually don't turn down seeing them once, but have never paid for one, nor have I gone out of my way to see one. Nor do I give shit about spoilers for the fifth movie which I was bored by.Can we talk about something else now?
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the intended reaction. There's nothing in that film that suggests a sense of humour- aside from Rorschach dropping that masochist down a lift shaft- and I think they put it in as part of their whole slavish copying.
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I'm still playing catchup on the TB, but man I haven't seen that flick since I was a kid. I almost started believing I had imagined the whole thing. Wasn't there a dinosaur by the end?
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Is it just cunts in general or people that have a diffrent political view from you? if it's general cunts I'm throwing Sean Penn and Bono in the wood chipper.
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The way I remember it, the spurt happens right at the crescendo of the song, which is pretty funny. Different audiences I spose.
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You're an English major correct?
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Mar 10, 2009 10:40:36 AM CDT
Maybe you were just less critical of it than I was
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
And were into the flick more than me. It is a mass generalisation and not singling anyone in particular out. I wouldn't get offended if I was you. I'm sure I'm amused by retarded shit that you wouldn't find remotely funny.
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no question about it. I think it's just far right cunts that Donor wants to throw in.
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What was? Was it supposed to be a "beautiful metaphor"? Doubt it. It was funny in the book, it was funny in the flick. But I can't tell anyone what *is* funny, only what I think was intended to be funny.
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I've only seen ONE scene from that film, and it was a few weeks ago. It was the fisting on the wedding night scene. I decided I didn't need to see anything else.
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Mar 10, 2009 10:44:22 AM CDT
Some douchebag sitting two seats over from me...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
hooted and hollered when Rorshach splashed the guy with hot oil and said the 'you guys are stuck in here with me' line. Sure, good moment, but the moron carried on chuckling to himself for about two minutes afterwards.
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it was just pathetically copying the comic.
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And Sean Penn is a Motarded jackass.
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Come on, Jarv. Yes they were copying the comic, but to suggest that they didn't consider how they would fit it in, could they make it funny, could they make it pretty, would it fit with the music; that they ignored all that and just threw it up there for the sake of having it in is a bit demeaning. Trust me, the filmmakers consider all those options.
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would never have occurred to them. Look at Snyder's approach to the sex scene- as KFH said it was fucking painful to watch. There was nothing subtle or witty about their apporoach.
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He does not know how to film a hetero sex scene. Just look at 300
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And not that great a director either
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Mar 10, 2009 11:04:50 AM CDT
In a vain attempt to change the subject away from The Watchmen
by xiphos_2
Is anybody planning on seeing Last House on the Left? I will be avoiding it because rape and torture porn does not turn my crank.
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I had zero interest until I saw the trailer. Awesome trailer. And not what I was expecting the movie to be about. Goldwyn's in it as well. It does look pretty brutal though.
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Especially torture porn type flicks. I've seen Saw but none of the sequels. Haven't seen Hostel either.
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1. I agree with Droid, the trailer is very good. The tv ads are shit, but the theatrical trailer, with that creepy, slow, female version of Guns and Roses' "Sweet Child of Mine" playing in the background is very effective. 2. Wes Craven, writer-director of the original, is very involved in the remake. And those are the kinds of remakes I'm okay with: when they're either made by someone with deep love and respect for the original or by someone who brings in the original writer/director and has his blessing.
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I enjoy the more intellectual, if that is the right word, type of horror movies like the orginal Alien; over something like Saw or Hostle.I don't know if anybody ever saw the orginal LHotL but it was a badly made rape/revenge flick from '72. I don't think they could make a movie like that in today's world. So instead they will replace the orginal visual brutallity with all sorts of substitute violence. Or maybe I'm just talking out of my ass.
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Mar 10, 2009 11:32:07 AM CDT
Did any of you guys check out the VAN DIEMEN'S LAND trailer?
by mr. nice gaius
Looks pretty creepy. I did some reading on the history of the subject and it's interesting (albeit gory and tragic) stuff.
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Thats Attack of the Show, on G4. Both were discussing Watchmen. Mori liked it, Poland did not... But didn't these two have some really bad blood between them? I see to remember a lot of vindictive back and forth between the two in past years...
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I hate that shit. No thanks. And I generally love Horror films.
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Didn't know that. I do know that he's yet to make an actually good film. Visionary director my ass.
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Fuck all else to distract us.
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Or if he is, he's hiding it very well. He is married and his wife produces his films.
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My chipper accepts both. And political affiliation matters not. I have no idea what political ideologies Bernie Madoff, Octo Mom, Dr. Phil, Tiger Woods or George Steinbrenner adhere to but I'd lower them feet first into an industrial chipper.I haven't read any of the Potter books. And save for Goblet, all the movies have underwhelmed me. The trailer for Half-Breed looks good though.
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How awesome would it have been if Adam West played the aging first Nite Owl.
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Yeah I'm an English major. Why?
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Brilliant stuff there.
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Before there were nipples on the batsuit... Before the public knew Robin was gay... Before Ledger was even born... There was ADAM WEST! Proving that you can make a career out of a single character and still be cool.
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Those shots of a nude Silk Specter II were pretty stunning. And he was dead on casting Carla Gugino, at least as a young original Silk Specter. I see no reason why they could have used a different, older actress for the later scenes too.
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Printed it out and started reading it on the train home. It's the best movie related thing I've read in quite a while. Fascinating to see them discuss and refine the ideas that would become one of the best films of all time.
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Just popping in to give a shout out to the CoC peeps.Fucking IT department blows goat balls.
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To see what condition your condition was in?
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Lucas reads like he really knows what he's doing. While Spielberg is definitely the superior director, I feel like Lucas's knack for storytelling was pretty amazing at that point of his life.
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To go in the scifi direction and give the Nazi general a machine-gun robot arm.
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http://tinyurl.com/cjx8cv
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I thought this was going to be a link to that Discovery Channel show where they pitted animals against each other in theoretical fights, backed by science (they'd make casts of the animal's skulls to determine bite pressure, etc) and then showed the fight as a CG animation. This fight was no contest. That shark is obviously just a wee babe.
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But they would have had to started the series that way. The first movie is a bit too realistic for that to have worked in the sequels.
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Put him in the thirties-fifties and he's Robert Stack or Robert Taylor or another one those B+ A- stars. I think he would have been a Decent Indy, but certainly no one was gonna top Harrison in that role save for CGI 1957 Jerry Lewis. You know it's true. As for Transformers-the Hasbro Toon was shite, it was around when I was in college, so--that's the generation behind me. But I enjoyed the movie, I always can have fun w/ Giant Robots (hitting each other), and let's face it--I'm a Mikey Bay fan-so there ya be. Hey Xiphos---aren't you sposed to be back up to Ft Lewis chasing around after Bigfoot? Piker.
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Where has everybody been the last however many hours?
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You never knew Lance LeGault was such a big star in the '80's did ya? He was Elvis double for ages, that whacky Lance.
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Not easy. The guy has eyes in the back of his head. Big flaming eyes that can burn a hole through your skull. Oh fuck...he spotted me! Outta here!
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That was me that asked if you're an English major. I know you're in College and I was just curious because of how you write your responses. I know you mentioned your major before but I couldn't remember what you said.
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Since I'm not in the Army anymore probably not any time soon.
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Mr Marine!
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I have been told that before. Of course, it's not essential. I usually come on here while taking breaks from writing papers anyway, so sometimes I can still be in an eccentric writing mood.
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Just got back from seeing it. I really liked it I think, I'll have to watch it again to see if I really thought it was funny. It was so weird in that it was like a typical date movie except it was between two dudes and not in a Brokeback way. Overall there are a bunch of one liners, and actual one liners no knock up ramblings. There are a few scenes that went on a bit too long and reminded me of that terrible mushrooms scene in Knocked Up. Again a scene at an event which went on two long, lets face it Paul Rudd is not a very good pantomimist. The best way to describe the movie is to think about Knocked up, now imagine if it had actually been funny. Also cut out all the useless side characters trying too hard to have funny lines and failing. Replace them with brief cameos that hit more then miss. Granted its not a Apatow mess. Paul Rudd the guy that's not Paul Rudd do have their moments, the movie is literally 75% them. But my god some one needs to hire a much more professional editor. Especially when compared to Tropic Thunder, which has more story and plot in the first 10 minutes then all of the the Apatow + Spawn movies combined, it has tight editing they didn't let scenes drag on. I know part of the movie was the awkwardness but some of it gets into just trying to hard to find a joke. Final thought, is that its just such an odd movie in that who do you go see this movie with? Its like a chick/dude flick. I saw it with my buddy, but I could've easily brought my fiancee. Also the fact that I am dealing with some of the issues brought up in the movie may have made it funnier to me. I don't think younger people will understand a lot of the humor.
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No not smartass at all. You just sound young and sometimes a wee bit over exited about things. Occassionally you over think your posts a little bit but there's nothing wrong with any of that. I was just curious so I thought I'd ask the question.
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while you were on your...um..."sabbatical" did you keep reading AICN?
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Mar 11, 2009 12:50:30 AM CDT
Lost fans....I hear the show may be cancelled.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
They are on a 5 month hiatus, but word on the street is its not coming back, or it does it will be for a few wrap up episodes. I have family on it.
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Never read teh books and teh nothing about teh movies even vaugely interested me.Oh, sorry I'm like 14 hours late with this post. fucking insominia
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When you say you have "family on it" do you mean family members work on the show or that your making family chase down the info? I see it like thisDGDB Mother: Danial! I have the info!DGDB:FUUUUUUUUUUUCK MA! I'm in the middle of a White Vader here!DGDB Mother: Danny! what are doing in the bathroom for THREE Hours! I told you I have the LOST info so you can taunt the Lostites, come out now young man!JESUS CHRIST MOM! FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!
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Danny's family is actually on the island. Danny is one of the Others. Is this a surprise? Not really, except to those who remain convinced he is someone's escaped science experiment. And you know I wouldn't say these things if I didn't love him (but don't tell Dirk). ;)
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DGDB: FUUUUUUCK MOM GET OUTMOM: I thought I'd taught you better, that's cheap and nasty porn. Go and buy some good stuff.
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you can put it to productive use in the outside world by writing whorish marketing shit for unappreciative assheads.
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and throw m. night shylmalan in the chipper. i've given him too many chances.
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DGDB: FUUUUUUUUUUUCK MA! That's UNPROFESSIONAL, to get in a guys sight line. What's the info?MamaDB: Now, Danial, I raised you better then that. What's the magic word?DGDB: BALEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
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Shylaman (good shout), Simon Cowell, Peter Hitchens, Ricky Ponting, Matthew Haydn (I don't care that he's retired, he's still a cunt), Ashley Cole, The entire British Government, Bankers, and that's just to start with
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FUCK YOU MA, WE'RE THROUGH WITH YOUR AMATEUR SHIT. NOW FETCH MY FUCKING BURGER. BITCH. FUCK YOU, BOY, I'M DONE WITH YOU, NOW CLEAN YOUR FUCKING ROOM.
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I thought somebody had partially lobotomized The Night. Maybe they dipped half his head in the wood chipper?
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you're out of the marines are you now xi, and taking language classes?
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Could you provide an English to American translation. Who is everbody on that list not named Simon Cowell or Peter Hitchens.Since we're in merry ol' england here I nominate David Icke for the wood chipper.
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gary coleman
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Nope still in. Just getting a quick language course in.
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but the decomposing corpse of hansi cronje
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i read above where you said you were no longer in the army. but still in the marines. ahhhhhhhhh
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2 are Aussie Cricketers. Haydn is a particularly cuntish breed of Evangelical bully, and Ponting is just a cunt. Ashley Cole is a cuntish wife beating alcoholic greedy cheating footballer. I just thought of him because he was on the news this morning for assault in a club. Bankers and The GOvernment is obvious and I loathe Peter Hitchens.
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possibly still a virgin.http://tinyurl.com/ak2laj
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Politicians of any stripe, Lawyers, the IRS and anybody that thinks the designated hitter rule in Baseball is a good idea.
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Even if he is already dead. Nope, Haydn and Ponting are a pair of cunts and go in. Notice I didn't say Langer, Gilchrist, Martyn or others. McGrath can go in. He's a cunt too.
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Anyone who's remotely successful (especially in sport) you envy to the degree of manufactured hatred so your solution is to throw them in a woodchipper. Just because you guys have sucked, do suck and will always suck at cricket, don't bring your jealous 'woodchipper' threats on the awesome Aussie cricket team. And since I work for a bank (but technically not a banker), you can stick that up your ass too! Simon Cowell I agree with.
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give me a break. and ponting seems alright. and both are awesome players of the game. jarv is just pissed cause we flog them. sounds like it is time for england to invent a new game. that way you'll get a few sweet years at number one before australia starts playing it.
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I haven't been in the Army since the mid 90's. Ah, the salad days. I remember them fondly.
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the more i realise it is a list of cricketer's who raise money for breast cancer. do you hate women jarv?
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And Peter Moores, the entire ECB for ruining what should be a great england side, any cunt that thinks referrals are a good idea, any cunt that thinks ELV's are good. This is one busy chipper.
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The voice of reason!
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goes in. I just don't like ponting. Don't know why.
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i can't stand those fucks these days, not after their last tour of oz those fucking shit heads.
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I think the blades might dull quickly on the first one trying to cut through all that bone.
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I said only Ponting, Haydn and McGrath. I wouldn't put Warne in. What are you Aussie bastards wittering about? Oh and Ian Bell, Steve Harmison, Andre Nel also to go in.
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Mar 11, 2009 4:28:20 AM CDT
The first guy to go in that chipper is KP
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
If you can fit his massive fucking head in it. That guys the biggest cockhead in cricket. God knows what he'd be like if he was actually on a team that could ply cricket. He'd be insufferable. Closely followed by Harbajan, Smith and Boucher.
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Mar 11, 2009 4:29:11 AM CDT
and charity work is not a mitigating factor for cuntishness
by lost jarv
I never understand this argument- "Oh, he may be a right bastard, but he works for charity 1 hour a week, so he's allowed to be an utter shitweasel for the rest of the time" It's like the fuckers thing it's an automatic get out of jail free card. Why not try not being a cunt for the entire time?
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What about Andrew Flintoff, Ashley Giles, Simon Jones and Michael Vaughan? They go in the chipper also?
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who's a bigger cock than KP. Boucher is also a cunt and goes in.
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Giles- Yes. He's a current selector and partially responsible for Ian Bell's continued career.
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they do more than one hour a week ect. the raise money at every game (hense the trade mark pink handle on the cricket bat) hmmmm i may not be helping my case to say he had a pink handlelook: a distracting pink dolphin: http://tinyurl.com/byr4cr
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He's a cunt on the cricket field. Because he's a winner, who plays to win and expects to win. That doesn't mean he's a cunt off the field. The difference is KP is an egotistical cunt 100% of the time.
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tubby bastard
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Mar 11, 2009 4:38:42 AM CDT
Vaughan and Jones = no. Flintoff = Fuck Yes
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
What a 'believe your own press' cunt that guy is. The guys fucked up more times than he's actually been good. Also, the English cricket team have a decent track record when he's not in the team. When he is, they've won about 3 games out of 20. Stats never lie.
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so he plays aggressive cricket. get over it. so he tries in get a mental edge in his one on one battles. it is fucking cricket. if englishmen don't like aggressive cricket then they should not have invented bodyline.
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He's just a cunt. Evangelical, bullying cunt that commented on air that he'd like to beat up another player. cunt.
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No chipper action for him.
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Clint Eastwood wants to make a film about the Rugby World Cup in South Africa and wants to cast Matt Damon (MAAAAAAAT DAAAAAMUUUN) as Pienaar. That's the stupidest thing I've heard in ages.
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no way. I'm open to persuasion about KP.
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Mar 11, 2009 4:45:08 AM CDT
Can we pin down the precise time when...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
the English became soft little pansies that couldn't hack it when some big meanies say not nice things to them? You guys were massive cunts in the 80's. What happened?
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Where the fuck are they going to get 15 midget samoans to play the All Blacks? Oh, and I bet that Morgan Freeman will be Mandela.
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I bet he would have loved the FF reboot TB since he's one of teh very few FF supporters around here..I'd happily join in the cricket talk but I shot my load with the google search. Although me not knowing anything about the subject at hand has never stopped me before.
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bodyline was 80 fucking years ago. Get over it.
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Mar 11, 2009 4:50:45 AM CDT
I do love the few months of banter leading up to The Ashes
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Always lots of fun. Even more fun than the boring as hell 5-nil drubbing our boys served up to you guys last time!
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just look at your posts.
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All quick cuts and choppy to cover teh fact that Matt Damon is a fidget.
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I am willing to concede that Jardine was a cunt. And a colonial racist cunt as well. Also- Flintoff goes in. For being behind stripping KP of the captaincy. KP may be a cunt, but he was the right man for the job, and wouldn't have put up with the underperforming shite from the likes of Bell.
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who won the last time england played oz in the soccer? i can't remember cause aussies don't watch the piss weak sport.
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but I'm the stupid cunt that thought we'd win last time. Anyway, this one will be a lot closer than people think. Jones will return to wreak havoc on your batting. *crosses fingers*
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3-1. It was a pitiful and embarrasing shambles where that cunt Ericsson changed the entire side at half time.
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rugby movie. I want to see the cast of time bandits as the All Blacks.
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Mar 11, 2009 4:59:59 AM CDT
I remember we played them in a friendly ages ago
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
And we won something like 3-0. But they only played their first team for the first half (and we were beating them 1-0 at half time). This was about 2004 i think. Not sure if we've played them since.
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You've a better memory than me.
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Mar 11, 2009 5:03:13 AM CDT
I'm hoping for a 2005 style Ashes series
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Just with the Aussies winning this time. The 5-0 drubbings are great for the ego (and bragging rights) but not exactly a spectacle of cricket.
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about some American school that plays rugby. Bet that one sucks
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Watched the end of PWZ last night. Just as entertainingly ultra-violent rubbish as the rest of the flick. Also fell asleep half way through Transporter 3. Not a massive fan of the series, but they are fairly entertaining. This one is annoying me a bit though since all the fight scenes are filled with sped up shots and you can see many a punch or kick missing the mark. And the chick is annoying. And I'm only half way through! I did like the bit where he's on the BMX chasing down his car.
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Mar 11, 2009 5:17:46 AM CDT
If you're talking about Rudy, then you're wrong
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Although I haven't seen it in ages, it's a great flick.
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Mar 11, 2009 5:18:38 AM CDT
But Rudy is about american football
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
So it can't be that.
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and it's a better film than it gets credit for. Even if it is soft core porn.
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Just looked it up. It's got Gary Cole in it. NOTHING with Gary Cole in it can be bad. That's a fact.
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harvard.http://tinyurl.com/dxdg6z
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Hang on. I'll check
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I always forget that he's American. He did a good yokel accent in LOTR.
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the more prestigeous the University the more you can fuck shit up. Bunch of silver spooning worthless motherfuckers.
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Prob. feels the same whenever he sees us going on about such things as--Boys wasn't it STOOPID of McDaniels to float trading Jay Cutler and talk about bringing in Matt Cassel and boys talk about pissing off the future Elway and how about that Dawkins signing do you think they can keep a running back healthy for more than 4 minutes and what did you think of the Sawks signing all those walking Woundeds? I mean-Brad Penny, Baldelli, Smoltz, Saito(who?), etc? Keerissste.... Anyways. Xiphos-sure I'd check in here and there. Didn't seem like much happened.
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that's actually cool news. How did it get through Harry's "must be about Watchmen" filter?
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It's because 2 matches just finished and the Ashes are due to start. THere's 2 Aussies on so at least it makes sense. Sort of.
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sounds like he got disenchanted w/ the preceedings here-
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Sorry guy. Cricket?! what is this game named for a Pinnochio character you speakethe of-? Hey you're into it-that's great. Me I'd just as soon watch curling---
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Pitch Black was good for what it was, but Chronicles was way too patchy. Felt like it was trying to hard to create this whole universe.
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It's fun. It's--immediately forgettable. It's-well, an expensive TV movie. It's nothing great, but I sure enjoyed it more than I did the Watchmen at least. "Reed? be with you in a minute--"
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Mar 11, 2009 6:04:07 AM CDT
Cricket is to the Yanks as to Baseball is to non-Yanks
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Baseball is so boring to watch it's unbelievable. I'm sure most americans feel that way about cricket.
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---and enduring it. 4 hour games, endless 3 and 2 counts, multiple pitching changes, guy walks the bases full, 33 beer ads, etc. It would be harsh. I'm the same way if it's a couple of teams I really don't care for say the Marlins or Blue Jays playing....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Mar 11, 2009 6:07:02 AM CDT
In the immortal words of Raphael...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
"Cricket!? You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand cricket!" (That's the mutant turtle Raphael, by the way.)
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(He was the mutant Myrtle Azrael, by the way)
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and think FF sucks hairy goat nob. That's how low I rate Watchmen
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Speaking ill of the Blue Jays? Don't forget who owned it all back to back in 92 and 93. Those were two of the greatest teams ever assembled.Chewie is an industrial chipper. He can handle multiple bodies at once and he can go all day long. If you want to toss an entire rugby team in there, he's more than up to the task. But before we start dunking athletes into his voracious maw, I think we need to focus on the more important candidates like former Merill Lynch CEO John Thain, Amy Winehouse and Robert Mugabe.I started watching Transporter 3 on the weekend. That opening scene on the cargo ship was so horrendously shot, acted and written I had to turn it off. Five minutes in may be a new record for me. Oddly enough it's a record that broke the previous record held by.......Transporter 2. I think I'll actually try to watch "3" again but with copious amounts of booze.
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but only if Lilly Allen also goes.
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deserve it. It's a busy assed chipper.
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Please!? Pretty please!?
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absoutely. I'd also like to make a case for Stock, Aitkin and Waterman
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The Sky 4Man United, Chelsea, Liverpool & Arsenal.Please?
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Mar 11, 2009 8:55:09 AM CDT
Lilly Allen will need to wait behind a few others
by hawaiian organ donor
Franz Ferdinand, Il Divo, M.I.A., and all those hip hop bums on the charts right now. And anyone with a grill or a diamond stud in their ear the size of my fist.
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I think we may need to get Chewie a companion. Let's see if I have enough room on my card for an industrial shredder. And there's always the shark tank out back.Wolf, do we need to toss the actual teams in the chipper or just the owners? Seems to me Abramovich and Glazer are the true asshats.
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All for the chipper. We weren't tossing the whole team in, although Droid would probably throw the whole SA cricket side in, but particular assheads from the team. Like that cunt Haydn.
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there's so many reasons for him to get crunched. Corruption, greed, scumbagishness, Chelsea buying success, firing managers for no good reason, Yuck.
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Mar 11, 2009 9:44:45 AM CDT
The chipper will be down while we wipe down the blades
by hawaiian organ donor
And hose off the floor. In the meantime, please feel free to take our "guests" into the fingernail pulling room next door.I'm so bored.
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Cannot be bothered. Where is everyone. Anyhoo, I'm now approaching the mythical 100 films and need a good suggestion for this landmark.
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Mar 11, 2009 9:56:58 AM CDT
I wouldn't chip the whole SA cricket team...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I'd chip the whole fucking squad! Cunts, the lot of them!
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for the weekend. We're going to get thrashed (again)
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The Big Lebowski. One thing you could do is make Lebowski the standard 100th for every CoC member. Just a thought. Otherwise you go similar levels of greatness, like Predator or Big Trouble in Little China or somesuch.
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I like it, but not enough for that sort of milestone. I'm wondering whether a chin-athon at the weekend may be the answer. Now that I've finished my giant fish eat people spree.
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It appears that I've not watched Army of Darkness yet in 2009. Huzzah!
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Mar 11, 2009 10:26:42 AM CDT
An "Evil Dead-a-thon" is a good way to bring it up
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Or even an "Evil Dad-a-thon" But I'll consider watching Lebowski (again) for my 100th since its genius.
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Mar 11, 2009 10:29:26 AM CDT
Nah, fuck it. Back to the Future all the way for my 100th
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Nothing says milestone like a bit of Marty, Calvin, Biff, Elaine, George and Doc.
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but I've already done BTTF. Re- fisheatingpeople- athon, I'm actually a bit fucked off at how much of a let down Sharks in Venice was to finish it. Pah.
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I CAN'T FUCKING LOG IN TO AINT IT COOL from work. MOTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. I've been emailing Quint and he can't seem to find the issue. I can still login at home. I was thinking it was a work blocking it thing, until I remembered I had just registered 3 new handles on AICN in like 5 minutes. Then I wanted to see if they worked so I logged in to each one, logging out in between, not keeping them all open. After that I tried to log back in as DGDB and it says some shit about the account not being activated. But I can still use it at home fine. I think they may have zapped my IP. Maybe a new security thing....FUCK FUCK FUCK TWO FISTS IN THE ASS!!
Anyway.....I hope this clears in a week or so. But if not, and if Quint can't help-- my daytime play at AICN is fucking over professionally. Pass on the word good folks.
I'll still stop by at night.
--DGDB -
Mar 11, 2009 10:35:44 AM CDT
What was in your "fish eating people-a-thon"?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Pray tell... Apart from Sharks in Venice
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Playing with new handles. Naughty boy, Danny.
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Mar 11, 2009 10:39:30 AM CDT
That welsh bitch Duffy for the chipper!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Someone needs to stuff that warbling bitch in the chipper, pronto!
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Mar 11, 2009 10:42:11 AM CDT
Jarv...I did mention a while back about Sharks in Venice
by just pillow talk
A huge missed opportunity for crappy greatness.Watched The Lookout last night. It was okay, nothing great, but it entertained me. That's #67 for me.My movie watching will suffer over the next few weeks due to March Madness.
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Sharks in Venice, Jaws, Frankenfish, Deep Blue Sea (oooh- forgot to list it). I was going to include Red Water and Piranha but couldn't get them in time, so may do a fishathon 2. BUt not for a while. I'm a bit fished out.
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and Danny's IT guys.
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Slightly better than average. March madness is college basketball? Or JPT's annual month of madness? That would be genius. Be clean and sober for 11 months out of the year, then just go bananas on a month long bender.
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His name at gmail. I told him I would forward any other messages. This is the new semi-secret mission of the mymavra site. It's like talkback espionage and it seems to be working pretty well. Too cool! Big brother is watching all of you office prisoners. Beware.
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like that so has year end shit to do.
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Work should never get in the way of a good "a-thon".
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don't forget, it's an Ashes summer so our film watching will be devastated- well, yours will be. If England carry on like this (I've just seen some dickhead recommend selecting Ian Bell for the Ashes! Stupidity!) then mine will probably be alright.
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And if it's a decent summer weatherwise *crosses fingers* that'll put a dent in the flicks as I'll be down the pub.
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and no football to interfere with it. Simon Jones is fit again apparently, I can hear Katich lubing his asshole up preparing for his inevitable humiliation. Pity about the rest of the England side, and the fact that there's 4 months to go and he's bound to get injured again.
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is the College baskestball championship run. you start with 64 teams in the midle of March and whittle it down to 2 for the championship in early April.The "madness" centers around picking the winner for your brackets. For me, because I suck at it, I'm usually done by the first weekend.
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Mar 11, 2009 11:16:00 AM CDT
I was a bit sceptical about our new opening duo
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
especially Hughes. But two centuries in the second test has put to rest any doubts. Katich is lubing his asshole because he doesn't want to risk ring sting from shitting all over you lousy bastards.
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seriously, and Hughes is raw. Swing may do him. Mind you, we'd have to actually pick bowlers that can swing it this time. *Jarv clutches at straws*
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his average in the last 12 months is 28. Last time you had a batsman like that it was Martyn and we, erm, made him retire. Although, admittedly, that was the fully firing Hoggard, Harmison, Jones and Flintoff combination. I don't think ANderson, Broad, Jones (Please be fit, please be fit, please be fit) and past it Flintoff can do that.
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Mar 11, 2009 11:28:32 AM CDT
That's the problem with english cricket
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
You have specific players who it all hinges on. Especially those that get injured. Oh no. Jones is injured. What do we do? Be it Pieterson, Flintoff, Vaughn, Trescothick. Whoever. If one of these guys is/was injured, you fall to pieces and start making excuses. That said, I do hope Jones is fit because he's the only decent bowler you have. Well, the last time I saw him bowl (4 years ago!) he was.
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We're shit. Pah. It's like the 90's again.
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I guess no one even gives a shit about I Love you Man, not even a "I don't want to see that crap" comment. Should have figured seeing that the advance free showing was not even 75% full. I think right before it started they were letting people in even if they didn't have tickets.
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all it does is crush promising bowlers- reducing them to medium pace-swing- it-a-bit types that aren't up to test cricket. Not to mention that it ruins batsmen as well This is exacerbated by conservative selection policy that means young players don't get picked early- that's why Anderson and Broad are worth perservering with. You end up with a team of 11, maybe 4 of which are world class, but if any of them get injured there's fuck all back up. Hoggard's continued absence is fucking inexplicable though, especially as they keep recalling Harmless.
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I saw that movie in theaters. I liked it mainly because of how the team reminded me of my Rugby team, except we drank. Also because it did a good job of making you feel/see what its like to play Rugby. That being said the movie did come off as a Lifetime movie of the week and the acting was very bland.
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So crap that I'd take him over any batsmen in your team apart from Pieterson. Hughes is raw. Sure, but if he's a great fucking talent. Swing is the only weapon you have. You better choose bowlers that will use it.
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Rugby, there's no getting around it. I'm fascinated to see Matt Damon v dwarf All Blacks. That will be odd.
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Yeah, I'll see it. Doubtful at the cinema, but I like Rudd a lot and the other guy was amusing in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. DVD rental me thinks.
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Cook> Katich. And It's in England, where he's never been good.The rest of them are shit though. No arguments there. If I had to pick a combined side based on those played in the most recent series, I'd pick maybe 4 English players (Strauss, KP, Swann/Panesar and Freddie) and that's it. Australia is better in pretty much every position- 2 of those are arguable- aside from Spinner. Because you don't have one. Well, you do, but they're shit- like really, really shit.
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a la india and play 2 spinners. That'll show you. Except it will cunting rain and put pay to that.
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I'm a huge fan of Netball and Rounders, they need to get more coverage.
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Inconsistent shit. He plays one decent innings at a snails pace to boost his average then the next 8 innings he just plays at a snails pace and gets out cheaply. Strauss wouldn't be fit to be an orange boy for the Aussies. Panesar would never get a gig. KP is the one and only player that would make the australian side. Cook is exactly the same as Strauss. Slow, boring and shit.
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Funny. I saw Netball on the telly the other day and was shocked and horrified at some of the alleged women that were playing. Missing fucking links the lot of them. Not as bad as female Rugby players though- bleurgh.
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Fucking Kresja? Are you joking? Strauss has just hit 541 runs in a series. That's not bad. Cook's got potential (he's only young) and grit and scores regularly. Katich= shit.
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Mar 11, 2009 11:45:33 AM CDT
Only good female sport is Beach Volleyball
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Fact.
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conceding over 200 runs in an innings? He's a pie chucker alright. In 2 matches he conceded over 550 runs. Stats don't lie.
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I just said Panesar wouldn't get a gig because he's shit. And he can't bat to save his life. Strauss has hit 541 in a series. Sure. From about 16 million balls. The guys a wet blanket on your side. Openers need to score at a decent pace. What he does, and this is represented in his captaincy is block, block, block, block, block, single. Fucking boring. Then you guys declare your first innings on 9 for whatever on day three and your bowlers are too shit to get anyone out, therefore... test over! The english are a blight on the game of cricket and always have been, apart from a golden period in the 80's when you were pretty awesome.
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Fucking too right. Although I can be persuaded about the merits of female tennis when it's Sharapova playing.
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And have you forgotten how shit you were for 30 years or so? What, so you wouldn't pick a spinner? Because the ones you've got are all shit.
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Mar 11, 2009 12:02:48 PM CDT
For two months in 2005 you were very good
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I wouldn't select a spinner. I'd continue to use Katich and Clarke as part time trundlers. They're usually failry inexpesnive and pick up occasional wickets. Katich picked up 3-45 in the second innings against the saffas. Use the place for another paceman or batsmen. We have no selection-worthy spinners right now. I wouldn't waste a place in the team just to put one in.
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That's my 5pm meltdown right there. On that note, I'm off. We've only got three or four more months of this Jarv. Love it.
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I will leave ya'll with the following story I thought was funny. Have a good rest of your day/evening people.TinyURL.com/c3xbz6
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And you should always pick a spinner. Swann can bat anyway. This finishes in August American guys. Sorry.
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Go Carolina!
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Fuck my dumbass job. I just wanna watch a few movies and have some coffee and pie.
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As an English major, all I ever do is read books and write papers, so I don't have any finals next week. So I will essentially be done starting Friday, followed by Spring Break. Thank Kurt Russell too. This term almost broke my fucking back.
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As I've been known to do. And I can't help but wondering when did Jason Statham become Jackie Chan and Jackie Chan became retired?
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Is the girl in this movie suppose to retarded?
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At least you have a job. I have two degrees and not a real job. Just some part time crap to pay bills.
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Why is no one ever online on my days off?
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Talking about food. Does not a Transporter movie make.
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Mar 11, 2009 3:21:02 PM CDT
I havent seen the movie but I think she's just supposed to be cr
by odo19
That girl has a really dirty/hot thing going on. I still have to check the movie out when I get chance.
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talking about stupid cricket all day? Losers.
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i saw him get century at the gabba
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it was sa and nz that put the nails in hayden's coffin, not england
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all you have is crooked teeth, bad food and ugly women. What the hell has your useless sad excuse for a country ever contributed to humanity?
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I just saw that apparently that retarded monkey DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD is unable to log in?
Thank FUCKING GOD we wont have to suffer his ridiculous rantings anymore! What a waste of internet bandwidth that dumbass is! -
DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD is like a brother and a god to me! Get your head out of your ass and bow it to the ground in shame at your words while I kick the shit out of you! Unless you are DGDB in disguise, in which case, you are one hilarious dude.
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You leave Danny alone. And our ridiculously revolting teeth! How dare you! Twathat.
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I KID Hawaiian relax. Trust me--whilst I was rooting heavy for the Royals in '85 in the playoffs (Jim Sundberg is your pal) and the Tigers down the stretch (so is Frank Tanana) still I do feel your pain there. I have fond memories of Messrs Jim Clancy, Dave Steib and Otto Velez I do I do. But I still meant it as far's the slowness of a baseball game if you're not involved in the teams. Such as Toronto vs. say, San Diego.
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--ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. I have zero reaction to him one way or another. Seems to get hisself riled up about shit easily enough, but he's never said anything to me that fazed me to be honest. He'll be back, calling himself "Joan Crawford's Coat Hanger Abortion Sauce' or some shit like that-
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stoop to adopting such a lurid and tasteless screen name as that Joan Crawford one.
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And I bet your teeth are better than his, and your food and your women. And any combination of those! What has Enland contributed to the world? Good God! The Sex Pistols Monty Python Eleanor of Aquitaine
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Not to mention...The adjustable spannerMeccanoAnd... errr... there was something else...
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The steel rimmed Umbrella Carbonated water The first electric light
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That one's all us as well.
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Brilliant! Do they make them for goats? It would be so much less messy than my normal method of draining them. Are they resealable flaps?
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Mar 11, 2009 8:11:26 PM CDT
hey all! who's been talking about me?
by joancrawfords_coathanger_abortionsauce
And who is that Danny guy you're referring to?
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You need that coathanger. Lord Bale summons me. Got to run!
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....don't you remember your famous quote--NO WIRE HANGERSS!!!!! Silly Joan.
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-w/ Great British Teeth(TM). Gotta have them there Giant Robot Lions-ROBBBB!!!! I SAW IT--it's HUGE---It's a LIAM--------" Whuts did the Limeys invent?? Hmmmmmm--British Hondouras, the Indian Subcontinental Out-sourcing Colonial Dispatch Force(TM), Good Navies and Fred Scuttle. You needed Fred Scuttle in the discussion(along w/ the Teeth mention there) just to make things interesting. Oh and Leeds. They invented it.
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Sorry but I have no clue who half these guys are.
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in my entire life.
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JOANCRAWFORDS_COATHANGER_ABORTIO NSAUCE, and all the other clueless unoriginal douche bags desperately trying to jock my shit.
I'M BACK MOTHERFUCKERS. SO STEP THE FUCK OUT OF THIS FUCKING TB.
Seriously....I'm flattered you strive to me more like me-- but I got enough fluffers for one dick to handle. Until you offer something of wit or substance, or actually succeed in entertaining someone other than your paraplegic daughter-- BACK THE FUCK UP.
Watch your tone with the C-O-MOTHERFUCKING-C. You feel me?
You're a lone cretin posing as three different people, fantasizing you got a crew as ill as mine, while you touch yourself in your living room in Anguila, Mississippi. It really wouldn't surprise me to find out you were my famed piss ladle COUGHLINS LAW. Such desperation seems right up his alley. Pathetic sack of shit. DIE SCREAMING IN A FIRE, MOTHERFUCKER. -
Anyone? Anyone? Eh it was meh. It'll never touch what it used to be.
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A fucking amateur made that saying up.
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Mar 11, 2009 10:56:51 PM CDT
This is what happens when you let new registrations in
by stuntcock mike
Palin on a massive scale.
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Danny's retort was nice. A C of C moment at its best.Cheers.
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CLINTEASTWOODS_HANGNAILPUS blah blah
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You do realise somebody else is gonna show up called DIE SCREAMING IN A FIRE MOTHERFUCKER now, don't you...
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but it was too much work. we australians are not know for our work ethic. too socialist. mostly irish you see.
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Sal_Bando is noted sage Tom_Bodet (also the artist previously known as Goatzinger) and not one of the aforementioned trolls.
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I know we had nothing to do with Haydn calling time- We did Martyn and humiliated (which was a shame) Gillespie into retirement. We suck now, though.
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got arseholed instead
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I have no problem whatsoever with the guy. I think I remember chatting with him a good bit last summer when I jumped into the C of C.
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but does anyone here know Gorgol Bordello? Cause I'm seein them in a few months and I'm already pretty fucking excited. I already saw them once in high school and it's still one of the best shows I have ever been to.
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is Man Man. They have an album named Six Demon Bag, after a conversation between and Egg Shen and Jack Burton. Yes, the same Jack Burton played by Kurt Russell in Big Trouble Little China. I don't care what band you are, if you have anything referencing the great BTILC, I will at least look you up. I'll watn everyone here though, they are an EXTREMELY experimental band and may be an acquired taste. I personally like a lot of their newer stuff a great deal.
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many a fond memory, beer in hand as he came up to the crease.
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Because of the giant robot fetish. And he hates memories of murder as much as me.
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How cool
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and a fucking nice bloke as well. I met him in SA years ago in the hotel bar. It was fucking tragic what England (particularly Trescothick) did to him in the twilight of his career- he should have quit before the series.
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Rings a bell. Can't say I remember it though.
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Don't know how that "r" got in there.
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or south australia? if the first don't worry, we mostly ignore those crow eaters as well
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aren't motoko in disguise- "retarded monkey" is his catch phrase (along with fucking your eyeballs).
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This was years ago- 97-ish I think.
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back in the hansie cronje era. did you bet on any of the games?
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the only thing in that stupid assed dissertation that I agree with is "I can follow along in my graphic novel and see shot for shot where he took it from" even if he does insist on calling the funny book a "graphic novel"
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fucking hypocritical bastard.
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Saw them at LiveEarth when Madonna wheeled them out for one of her songs. Looked like high energy, crazy fuckin' pimps. Haven't heard any of their own stuff though.
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will be referred to as 'pole tax' http://tinyurl.com/cnywyd
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is there anything they won't tax?
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are now deconstructing a Talkback. Fuck that overrated shit. Worst film I've seen in a long time. Am I alone in wanting to flush their heads in the toilet?
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Can we please make this a Watchmen-free zone for a few hours? I am so fucking sick of Watchmen now, it's not even funny. Hell, I was getting a little bored of all the hype before it even came out. I was never really too pumped for it in the first place. I remember being like, Zack Snyder? Son of a bitch!
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I was commenting about the Talkback. Not about the film. I'm pig sick of it too. On a different subject, I'm seriously disappointed that Raimi has made a PG13 horror. Whatever happened to the man that made The Evil Dead?
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Mar 12, 2009 4:29:28 AM CDT
Fuck Watchmen. Fuck it in it's stupid ass!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
And also, fuck all the fuckhead trolls creating bullshit DGDB-esque names. Go fuck yourself you cunts.
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Mar 12, 2009 4:33:35 AM CDT
Raimi has indeed disappointed in the past decade or so.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I did raise this point previously when i said that although at the time I thought Raimi doing Spidey was a great idea, in hindsight, we have missed out on at least four oddball flicks that would be much more satisfying. People seemed to disagree with me at the time.
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where he talks about a scene Raimi shot for Darkman that was cut by idiot Studio execs based on focus group reaction. It sounds like a fucking great scene and it's very hard to imagine the PG13 "safe" Raimi doing it. Spiderman ruined him and in all honesty they aren't that good. Apart from 3 which is an ass burger served on an ass bun with a side of ass.
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when i was in boarding school there was this other guy who lived on another level of the dorms who had all these patsies. it was hilarius, he was always bossing them around, but he was this weak ass tubby fuck. we didn't know why they listened to him. so this patsy came down to our room and told us he wanted something that was in our room. we said he could come and get it himself. we filled the dunny with yellow detergent, and one of my mates, probly the toughest guy i ever knew stood behind the door. as soon as this bloke stepped into our room his eyes widened with fear. my mate shut the door behind him, and the finality of that act, well, that tubby bitch just broke down and started crying. we didn't even do any thing more than that. the tough guy was crouched on the ground blubbering and begging us not to flush him. so we just let him go and he ran away crying. tool.
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Serves the cunt right. Frankly.
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Mar 12, 2009 4:44:46 AM CDT
Where did that story come from?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Were you guys talking about head flushing previously, or was that completely random? Either way, great work, chipps.
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what's wrong with people?
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obsessive squid-whinging nerds' heads in the crapper.
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Fetch my chainsaw.
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fuck me. And someone said Evil Dead 1 is shit. Christ. What's wrong with geeks nowadays? They all either hopelessly overrate stuff or bag on genuinly good stuff for the sake of it.
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Mar 12, 2009 4:55:05 AM CDT
I've lost all interest in even reading other TB's now
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
99% of them are just trolls or whinging, negative little fuckers. It's annoying. And why read that shit when I can get treated to a Chipps boarding school head flushing story!?
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cause in oz it is dark. its this spherical earth thing.
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The earth is flat! Blasphemer!
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I'm just realy bored at work so am reading them all. I've stopped that as a rule, but I'm particularly bored today
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Good stuff! That's funny. I agree there Jarv-Jarv, make this a ComicBookWeWon'tMention Free Zone. Hey how was In Bruges--? did anyone see that?
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Turdmen is very un-changian. As official scribe, I'm vetoing it forever.
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more big bay bots beating each other. Are you excited yet?
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IMHO.
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will be the Evil Dead trilogy in reverse order. I have never seen the first one, and I wanna build to it. And if I end up not liking it that much, I can always just pop back in Evil Dead 2 to wash the bad taste out of my mouth.
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I'm look it up on my library's site right now.
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but it has 21 holds on it already. I added myself to the list but hell, by the time I get it, I may have already decided to purchase it based on all the good things I have heard from you guys. I was always intrigued, but it only played at the local arthouse for about a week while I was back in Kansas. Blockbuster probably has it for cheap.
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I don't suggest doing that. Evil Dead 2 is far to similar to Evil Dead 1 for that to be a good idea. I would watch Evil Dead 2 then Army then Finish with Evil Dead 1.
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As ED2 and Army are more comedy than anything else and 1 is balls out horror. It may come as a bit of a shock after Army.
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I've seen ED2 and AoD so many times, watching them before won't affect my opinion on ED1. The other two are so ingrained in my mind (much like The Thing, Indy movies, Star Wars, Akira Kurosawa's stuff etc. that I have watched countless times) that i can just pop them in the background and it's like setting up a nice work of art. You notice it and appreciate it still, but it's not gonna jump off the screen and kick you in the face like a movie can when seeing it for the first time.
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but thinking about "4th parts" recently, I've decided that would be a horrible idea- Die Hard 4- meh, ruined by plane surfing INdy 4- Meh 4th Star Wars Film in order of filming(Yuck, shite), Nightmare on Elm Street 4- shite Batman 4- shite and so forth. The only outstanding "4th" I can think of is Leprechaun in Space.
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but the reason I still say watch ED2 then ARmy then 1 is to avoid the "deja vu" feeling I experienced recently. It is very, very similar to 2. It's so fucking raw though, top film.
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The repetition of scenes could get tiring. I'll start with 2 then, so I can have a break from similar stories. If it's still a good movie, I should still have no problem ending with it. I have just heard from many it's the least entertaining of the series. Then again, everyone also says it's pretty much another genre altogether. If that's true, going from AoD to ED1 means I will go from the most loony of all of them to the most dark. Any way you cut it, it's gonna be pretty interesting.
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Darth Badass Darth Sneakyis, Darth Motherfucker, Darth ChokeabitchI would totally watch a film with DARTH MOTHERFUCKER in it. I'm also having that log in ID.
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and depending on how you slice it, 1 is arguably the best. It's a raw and nasty fucking horror movie- even if Raimi says now that he wouldn't have done the Tree Rape (I think he's right- it's excessive)- that grabs by the balls. It's fucking bleak as hell as well.
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I'm getting a lot more excited about ending it with 1 now Jarv. At first, I was hesitant, and was only holding the first one til the end, because I don't even own it. Just the first two. It's sounding now like it might be my favorite. I have actually tried to watch it once in high school after rewatching Army for about the 10th time. It was on videotape from a military library though. Damn thing couldn't even make it past them just walking into the fucking cabin. I was so sad.
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It's just that if I had to choose between comedy horror and bleak horror, I will usually go with the latter. Stuff like The Thing and Alien have always been pretty high up on the favorites list.
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No doubt at all- and Bruce's performance is totally different to ED2 and Army- he's basically just a wuss in it. I'm wondering why I think the tree rape is excessive in it- especially considering the other shit that goes down in that film. Hmmmm.
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I've seen it hundreds of times and am actually struggling to remember. I think I'm getting it confused with 2 in my head now.
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The Raimi and Cameron ones are pathetic.Bristol Palin and Levi broke up.And Meghan McCain has incredible jubblies.
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I have a question for you:In Red Cliff 2, does Guan Yu get a sweet little showcase of his fighting prowess like he does in part 1? Because his introduction in the first movie was fucking amazing.
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Still can't beleive this was part of The Great 1980's British Video Nasty Purge (as was The Thing!!). It's cartoon gore, for pity's sake. Took me months to track down a dodgy VHS at the time. Great stuff, bleak as fuck indeed. Censors are a bunch of twathats.Back to work...
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Or just go buy it now?
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despite there being virtually no violence. I think The Exorcist and TCM got caught in it as well.
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without hesitation.
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It's the Darth Motherfucker of horror movies.
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and I have the money, I'll pick it up.
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right. Porn hat on. Thread decimation ready
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That's going to be my next photoshop cover quote.
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There's not much hand to hand combat in part 2. The first 2/3's are all devoted to strategery. Both sides are doing everything they can to screw with each other without having to engage in battle.When that breathless epic battle finally begins, there's a whole lot of flaming boat kicks and tactical maneuvering and not much one on one combat.Office just ushered in two temps. Sweet young things. Probably too young for me but damn if my perverted mind isn't coming up with vile things to do to them in a broom closet.
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Punisher and Outlander and fucking publicise this twilight dreck? It pisses me off no end.
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How cool. Hot temps eh? jammy bastard. Our new temp went 10 rounds with the ugly stick before sitting down to a 10 pie meal.
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and I am only about 1/5 done with my paper.
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Oh joy of joys. I mean, I'm sad it happened, but uh, glad that these hypocritical republicans can see how these ideas of theirs just don't work. And me being happy for this is completely different than Republicans hoping Obama's plan will fail. But let's let this be the lastpolitical discussion on this tb.
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The 3 discer. Its good stuff. Very inspirational, if you're looking to make your own movie. I watched it last summer before starting my zombie flick.
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Never before have I seen such a high ratio of attractive women. It's absolutely ludicrous. I feel like a kid in the candy store just walking down the street. I don't mean to objectify women or be sexist, but hot damn.
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Even if it's just advertising for showings in select cities it would at least show that Harry does more than provide lip service.The flaming boats are going to make you splooge your knickers so I suggest you either spank it to porn first or enjoy it post-coital with the missus.These temps don't look older than 20 but they have that cute nerdy thing going on. I'm averting my gaze because it's wrong on so many levels for me to look, but I can't shake the image of them pulling the clip out of their hair, whipping the flowing strands around seductively and ripping off those sweaters to reveal latex.
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Could. Not. Give. Less. Of. A. Fuck.
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If it's not too expensive. money is tight right now after I got some tickets for a music festival. That was quite the pocket burner.
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and that is just making me seethe with jealousy. Flaming boat kicks and hot temps. I'm stuck writing shocking copy staring at a woman with a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle.
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is really shaping up to be something hilariously special. In one corner there's someone talking about Evil Dead, in another flaming boat leg kicks, then there's Bristol Palin, whoever the fuck that is, and finally there's HOD in the corner mumbling sexual fantasies to himself. Inspirational stuff.
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From The OED: "defined as an exercise in pointlessness, as in "do a Bristol Palin" origin unknown"
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So enjoy it while you can. Once you're back in the real world, there's never going to be that guarantee that everyone around you is the same age as you. Until you get to the retirement home tht is.
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Who is now an unwed mother. HAHAHA!!! Oh the hypocrisy of the far right.I'd love to describe the flaming boat kicks but I want everyone to experience it though virginal eyes like I did. One of the greatest set pieces in recent memory.Sorry about my sexual fantasies. Between these new temps and the sister-in-law at the Casa del Donor, my poor libido is like a Burmese militant who just pissed in Rambo's coffee. Thank Allah for porn.
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No fantasy material. At all. Not now hot Aussie temp has gone.
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Still haven't seen fucking Ozymandias and The Watchmen yet.
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Mar 12, 2009 10:12:54 AM CDT
Only one thing better than Uni (college)
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
And I recommend it to anyone who'll listen. Spend a summer working behind the bar at a hostel in Barcelona (or any warm, touristy location I suppose). You spend the days sunning yourself on the beach, then "work" a little in the evening before heading out to the bars and clubs. First of all, you do nothing you wouldn't ordinarily be doing (drinking beers and talking to people) and get paid a little and a roof over your head. Secondly, the bevvy of multinational hot chicks that go on party weekends to Barca is ridiculous. Thirdly, since you're pouring the drinks, they come to you. If you haven't captured more flags than you can count and developed a dependancy on alcohol by the time the summers over then you're not doing it right. I'd do it again this summer if I could (and wasn't a little too old for it!).
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anyway- this is a turdmen free zone now.
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I'm not 21 yet. Sounds like a good idea. Maybe I will try something like that in Portland after I graduate.
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Where would I start. After high school I would have hopped a plane to Europe and spent a year or so hopping from job to job and living from day to day.Then back here for film school.Youth is wasted on the youth.All these poor bastards getting shot up this week makes me realize I've done nothing with my life.
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Gave me a second wind - and beats the Hell out of another year working part-time.
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Mar 12, 2009 10:26:04 AM CDT
As a rule, bar jobs aren't that great
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I've done quite a few over the years. It's like buying a house. Location. Location. Location. Somewhere that's even slightly exotic, warm and has ample tourists are the key ingredients for a winning experience.
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Lots of micro brews work pretty hard and sell pretty well in the northeast. What I would love is something a little dirtier downtown where I could maybe play some Tom Waits or Edith Piaf and not get weird looks. And maybe meet some girls with Betty Page haircuts and tatoos that just wanna talk about comic books. A man can dream damnit.
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man this week is screwing me up
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Mar 12, 2009 10:30:32 AM CDT
I didn't travel until I was 24, almost 25.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I would've been shit travelling at 18. I'm glad I finished Uni and worked a bit before leaving. I can't believe I'm two months shy of five years in this country! Time marches on and all that.
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and I have decided it's high time I grew them back. I realized after shaving that they actually really turned my girlfriend on. I figure I just will need the chops for something. Maybe a job interview. Everybody loves chops.
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Mar 12, 2009 10:38:43 AM CDT
Big fat chops and a handlebar mo'
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Any woman who denies it turns them on is a liar!
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Mar 12, 2009 10:40:10 AM CDT
OK, I'm off to have the dentist drill holes in my teeth
by hawaiian organ donor
And then relax at home the rest of the afternoon with a few beers and exploding heads.
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I actually had the same thing going as the guy playing Sabretooth in the new Wolverine movie, except I didn't look awkward and my hair is longer. If I was twenty years older, 30 pounds heavier, and had a monocle, I could have been Watson from Sherlock Holmes.
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Good luck on that one. Are beers the best thing to suck down after having a few holes drilled into your teeth?
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Bruce Campbell really earned all that recognition for his comedic performance in this movie. the facial expressions, the twisted gestures, and his sense of timing are also spot on. How is a totaly ass clown like Ben Stiller so much popular than this guy?
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Mar 12, 2009 10:49:58 AM CDT
Jarv has abandoned us to go poke people with sticks...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
in the Twilight TB.
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Mar 12, 2009 11:37:09 AM CDT
Might force myself to finish Transporter 3 tonight
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
The first half was pretty shit though. I also have Synecdoche waiting in the wings to watch.
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Mar 12, 2009 11:42:30 AM CDT
oooh.... my Resident Evil 5 for ps3 has dispatched
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Looks like I'll be shootin' a shitload of zombies this weekend!
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Sal_Bando aka TomBodet wasn't bagging on you, He was saying you were ok by him, It's just that his syntax can be quite strange on occassion. He's a good dude but he's rather off beat to say the least.
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Me, I'm too poor right now.
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I enjoyed the hell out of that movie. It caught me by surprise. I also caught most of Return of the Living Dead. While quite amusing, it really is a shitty movie.
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Preparing myself to shred that Twilight crap with a pornathon
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fucking hate the fact that it's getting pushed here. I feel really let down by Harry on this one.
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Like Script girl, even if it's still there, it just kind of fades into the background now. It's like it's not even there.
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is that the self-proclaimed "Headgeek" would push shit that is so obviously not geekish, but ignore stuff that he should be covering.
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he covers what he likes. I just wish more of the other contributors branched out a bit though. they all kinda do the same thing. I pretty much ignore Harry now except for the DVD column, which I always like to read, IF it's ever fucking out on time. Other than that, he writes like a crazy person that doesn't even speak English as his first language, so I ignore him everywhere else.
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I'm even a bit disgusted at myself.
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but it's irritating nonetheless.
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and I agree. It's getting pretty lame. They just keep covering more shit that just has me asking myself, "Why the fuck should I care? Is this seriously the coolest thing to talk about?" I get movie news other places though. This place is more like a chat zone to me where I can talk to people on the internet that aren't all total assholes. Not much else though. Oh and the comic reviews, when they fucking do them! Did you see what they did this week?One big discussion about Watchmen. I immediately went outside after seeing that and smoked a whole cigar. It has been a long week.
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There's no action on either TB that I'm in. And I'm being very provocative in that Twilight one.
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I'm stuck in this shithole until 8
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I only come here for the TB- specifically this one now.
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I can leave now. I heartily recommend my last post in that Twilight Tb for readers of a filthy nature. I've outdone myself.
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Here: http://tinyurl.com/chxnom
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I'm here, working on a killer series of reviews for www.mymavra.com
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very professional
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For once I'm trying *not* to procrastinate.
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Way to be a responsible human being. heh
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Much fun. As incoherent, loud, noisy and Bay-ish as ever. I'm there. Cool I'll check out In Bruges. I like that big guy who's in it, plays a bastard in about everything ala Troy etc that he's in. Jarv-Jarv have you been mean to the Twilite fans? this I gotta see--be like strafing a Jonas Bros concert w/ equal parts trojans and viagra-
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cuz I KNOWWW he expects it and he misses it too: ROOOBBBB!!! ROBBBBBB!!! I SAW IT MAN I SAW IT I SWEAR I SAW O FUCK O FUCK O FUCK IT'S HUUUUUUUGGGGEEE!! I SAW IT! ROBBBB IT'S A LIONNN!!!!! Two lions, really-but don't tell no one. Them there movie people are tricky.
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Meh, save for a couple of scenes it was kind of lame. That scene with the car off the rooftop was sweet though.
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You and Jonah have gone MIA.
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Getting over some health issues, losing weight, and being social. The only snag is it meant cutting out places like this almost entirely. Hoping to find a better balance.
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What are you implying about the rest of us, my dear man?
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Masturbating next to Conan O'Brian's Masturbating Bear.
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Get used to hearing the phrase Slapping the bass Because here shortly if I love you Man sticks it is the most memorable line, but its one of the least funniest parts. I've notice that I can't stop saying it, so I can imagine how much college kids are going to latch on to it. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
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ER is FINALLY ENDING. Did anyone still watch that show after the original cast left? I didn't even realize the show was still on until they announced that it was its FINAL season.
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See you gotta handle this site like I do. Do you normal everyday shit and what not, but become a insomniac and talk to yourself on this TB all night even though you gotta be up at like 6 in the AM. Getting all your movie out of you so for the rest of the day you can communicate with the rest of the walking dead about human matters such as SPORTS! and WEATHER! and HOW YOUR JUST TRYING TO GET THROUGH THE DAY! OHH boy I love day to day convo.
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The Ultimate Trailer show tonight and they had trailers for The Trueman Show and Batman. While Trueman Show looked a little dated and was an odd trailer, Batman looked like a fucking Corman film and was probably the worst trailer I've seen. I don't know if the cut they had was the normal trailer but it was so odd and just random clips of the movie, and the effects of my allah looked so old and bad. The restoration process they use on that show I don't know, they just take the old ass trailer and then hit convert to HD and it looks like shit, I'd like to see a true clean up and restoration of sound. There has to be a much better Batman trailer, one that uses the perfect score to greater effect. TO THE YOU TUBES!
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Dead and Buried last night. I don't think it's a horror film despite being about the undead (bear with me), it's more of a mystery. Worth watching for Melody Anderson's staggeringly inept performance, an Excellent opening sequence (even if reminiscent of Hard Rock Zombies- but not as crazy) and a hi-fucking-larious ending. 6/10
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it had to end. michael criton died
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until Droid shows. If I have to carry the flag for the church, I will do.
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did not like it for a long time, but these hospital soaps never did it for me.
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north queensland cowboys vs the broncos. expecting some good queensland footy.
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I want to hear her say "Flash I love you, but we've only got 14 hours to save the earth" with a mouthful of semen.
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Fuck that. It's England v France on Saturday. Expect England to get thrashed because we're poo.
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and have changed my mind which one it will be- Evi Dead 1 rather than Army.
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I want to find the cunt that came up with Comic relief and maim him. It's just an excuse for every unfunny cunt in the office to extort cash from me by doing something "zany" for the day before they spend the other 364 days behaving like characterless drones. Notice that it's always the completely humourless bastards that jump on it.
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i have to rush off to get beer, no time to bang on about that pissweak german outpost. as macarther said in south australia: i shall return
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Mar 13, 2009 4:07:59 AM CDT
Chipps on a beer run = Music to my ears
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Watched Transsiberian last night. It was okay. A bit slow and my interest wavered in a few parts. It was a bit different to what I was expecting though. Maybe I'll give it another look sometime down the track to re-evaluate. Seems like a flick I should like. Especially since it has Woody in it.
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Watched it when it first started. Tuned out around the time Clooney left, which was about 13 or 14 years ago! Damn. Where the fuck did half my life go?
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Mar 13, 2009 4:14:29 AM CDT
The best thing about NYTimes film reviews...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Is the ratings blurb they give at the end of each review. “The Last House on the Left” is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian). Characters are raped, stabbed, shot, mangled and fed to labor-saving devices. That may as well be the review because I'm sold!
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Read one of your Twilight posts. Disgusting. Amusing, but disgusting.
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Mar 13, 2009 4:18:40 AM CDT
Enjoy the sniff bum and run, Chipps (I know you won't, Jarv)
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
The real football starts in a couple of weeks. Let's see if the mighty hawks can repeat.
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What. The. Fuck?
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it's my contempt for twilight and disgust that AICN keeps pimping it. If they want shite-y psuedo porn then I'm going to give it to them and fill every Twatlight talkback with it.
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blowjob and facebook page one. That was horrid. I was mildly disgusted at myself.
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fucking victorians. you know we play vfl as a training tool for rugby. we call it force em backs. my missus once said 'afl is much better, they don't try as hard to hurt each other' thus describing everything that is wrong with that sport. go the ipswich connection!
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while I contemplate more filth for the Twilight TB.
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Mar 13, 2009 4:36:38 AM CDT
I see your missus is the brains of the operation
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
"Awrite boys, tuday we gunna hit em wif efryfing we got. An we gunna hold eechuva weel tight as we stwive to get dat ball owva dat line on da gwass!"
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Don't like it. Tried to watch it in the 80's and never got it. Mrs. Jarv doesn't really like Rugby either.
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I organised the coffee first.
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It is a fairly complicated game and probably makes no sense to the uninitiated, but most people who understand it enjoy it. Just not those bloody Queenslanders.
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damm right.
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were first ashore at gallipoli.
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Mar 13, 2009 4:45:09 AM CDT
Yeah, Queenslanders aren't very bright
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
But they're good value.
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Whose your team? Cowboys or Broncos? I'm guessing Broncos.
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isreal folau is going to be one of the all time greates.
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i live about a k from the xxxx brewery, which is 500m from lang park. plus when i was a kid the team was full of guys from my school
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comes from being descended from criminals. Although this inter-province bickering is amusing to the outsider.
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in the post above was Botham in the 80's. The stupid twat said we should always roll over Australia because they were nothing but convicts. To which the local paper pointed out that of all 22 players on the field the only one with a criminal conviction was one I.R. Botham. Great player, but what a fucking idiot.
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Fuck's sake. Typo hell.
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Descended from criminal masterminds more like it. Stealing a loaf of bread. The cheapest ticket to paradise in history.
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Fuck me. That's a new one.
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Great player. Brainless buffoon.
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as if I care.
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Mar 13, 2009 5:07:50 AM CDT
Just because you live in a shithole...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
doesn't mean everywhere else in the world is one.
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sledges: Jimmy Ormond to Mark Waugh "At least I'm the best player in my Family" Ian Healey to a boundary sweeper: "You're meant to be on the boundary, you know, right under Nasser's nose"
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I live in a run down shithole that spends most of it's time on fire, and is insultingly close to one of the nicest places in the country.
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then why do all you cunts choose to come over here to pull me pints of Guinness for fuck all money? And don't pretend you don't have pubs in Oz.
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Mar 13, 2009 5:11:15 AM CDT
Yeah, we were looking at sledges a while back
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Many amusing ones. Bugger me if I can remember them though. I'll see if I can find the website.
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Ciao.
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Ricky Ponting & Shaun Pollock - After going past the outside edge with a couple of deliveries, Pollock told Ponting: "It's red, round & weighs about 5 ounces." Unfortunately for Pollock, the next ball was hammered out of the ground. Ponting to Pollock: "You know what it looks like, now go find it."
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And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment that was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney... "You don’t get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c**t!!!"
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Mar 13, 2009 5:19:53 AM CDT
We come over here because you cunts cling to...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
the delusional hope that you still mean something (ie. Commonwealth). We take advantage of that by using your shitty pub jobs as homebase while we travel to european countries that aren't as shitty. Like Turkey for example.
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Excuse me for a second.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Good one.
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"I've been waiting 5 years for the chance to send you back to the psychiatrists couch" "Yeah, looks like you spent it eating"
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hehehehe
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Mark Waugh: "I remember you from a couple of years ago in Australia, you were sh*t then and you're f*cking useless now."
Adam Parore: "Yeah, that's me & when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly sl*t & now I hear you've married her." -
about why I think Glenn McGrath is a cunt: Glenn McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan - "So what does Brian Lara's d*ck taste like?"
Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife." McGrath lost it: "If you ever mention my wife again, I'll F***ing rip your F***ing throat out."
If you're going to dish it out then you've got to expect it back -
Tony Greig: "When are balls going to drop sonny"
David Hookes: "Don't know but at least I'm playing Cricket for my own country" -
Rod Marsh & Ian Botham - When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?". Botham's response: "The wife's fine, but the kids are ugly and retarded"
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His wife had just been diagnosed with cancer. Which she recently died from. So it was a touchy subject.
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apparently.
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http://tinyurl.com/d36ueg
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If you're going to dish it, you've got to take it. Don't forget McGrath was one of the cunts that made train noises to Chris Cairns after his sister was killed in a train accident.
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Glenn McGrath asked Eddo Brandes how come he was so fat. Brandes replied "because every time I fuck your wife she gives me a biscuit".
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once sucker punched ian chappel in pub then ran away, later writing in his autobiography about how he 'beat up' chappell
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Mar 13, 2009 5:41:15 AM CDT
Bullshit. Never heard of that.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Don't believe that for a second.
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and he's generally made to look like a cunt in them. Great player, complete fucking imbecile.
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Cairns has both confirmed and denied it. I wouldn't put it past McGrath.
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Mar 13, 2009 5:45:21 AM CDT
Bothams more of a cunt than McGrath
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
And much more of a imbecile. And I can't believe that happened. I would've heard of it if it did.
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Mar 13, 2009 5:47:31 AM CDT
I've noticed a few times the names on the quotes change...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
of those that were involved.
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started it apparently. I'm not denying that Botham is both a cunt and an imbecile. Listening to him commentating makes me want to throw things at the telly. McGrath is every bit the cunt and imbecile that botham is, though.
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Boucher to Rob Key- "Christ, look at this fat cunt, he's sweating Big Macs" and Unknown Aussie spectator to Phil Tuffnel "Oy, Tuffers, lend me your brain, I'm building an idiot"
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McGrath isn't (but a bit of a cunt. Cuntishness I can handle). Botham is an absolute moron and a massive cunt.
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Mar 13, 2009 5:54:57 AM CDT
The yanks would be baffled by this convo
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
That spectator one is gold. Tuffers was the butt of many jokes in Oz.
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a complete cunt and a bit of an imbecile. He's just as much of a cunt as botham, but not quite as dumb.
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This stuff always makes me smile. One of the things we enjoyed most about 2005 was that cunt McGrath had been sounding off about how England were complete shite and were going to get whipped 5-0 (like the stupid cunt that he is) all over the place. That worked out well, Glenn. His problem is that he never learnt to keep his mouth shut.
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Jardine had some balls. He really did. He complained to Woodall that one of the Aussie slips had complained about Bodyline and called him a bastard. Woodall investigated by asking his slip cordon: "Which one of you bastards called this bastard a bastard"
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and all the funnier because Marshall was more than capable of following through: Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall: "Now David, Are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"
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Mar 13, 2009 6:02:51 AM CDT
You guys had a team full of mongoloid cunts in the 80's
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Botham, Lamb, Gatting, Gooch. To name just a few. Great players, but morons and cunts the lot of them. Plus you had nancy boy, tea and crumpets Gower flouncing about for when the boys get a bit shitfaced on those long and lonely tours of the sub-continent.
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Mar 13, 2009 6:05:04 AM CDT
If McGrath hadn't rolled his fucking ankle...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
on the morning of the second test, the series would've been very, very different.
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In the words of Chipps quoting macarther: I shall return
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Trueman is responsible for loads of them. He was one mardy bastard.
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Apparently in a county match Yorkshire were playing Northants who had Frank 'Typhoon' Tyson bowling for them, & this guy was even more scary than Mike tyson.He was the quickest of his day & perhaps the only bowler to rival Thommo as quickest ever.
Anyway one of the Yorkshire semi allrounders went out to bat & he wasn't know for his bravery against the quick stuff & on facing his first ball he backed away to leg & was bowled so when he gets back in the dressing room he gets a serve from Freddy along the lines of being a bit gutless so Fred goes out to bat & is dismissed in an ungainly fashion.When Fred re-enters the dressing room the other bloke is waiting for him & says something like what happened to you then trying to stir Freddy up so Fred replies 'I'll you what blooody happened I slipped on that pile of sh*t that you left in t'blooody crease' -
Fred Trueman was always good for quotes in cricket books. One story goes he was bowling to Greg Chappell in a County game and was finding the edge of GC's bat, but the ball wasn't going to hand. After one edge, Fred stormed down the wicket saying "Bloody hell-fire...you've got more edges than a broken pisspot!!"
3 balls later after another edge "Bloody hell-fire, now I know where you learnt your cricket....EDGBASTON!!!!"
Finally, Chappell middled one and the ball raced to the boundary and Fred boomed "Bloooody hell, it's like bowlin' fookin' doughnuts on a fookin' $h1t-heap!" -
Fred Trueman - While bowling the batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip,and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred". "So should your mother," he replied.
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Again in a county match, the poor batsman had played and missed 3 times when Trueman shouts out from cover "bowl him a fucking piano, lets see if he can play that"
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In an England v Australia Test during early 1960's Trueman was fielding close to the gate from the pavilion. As a new batsman came out he turned to shut the gate, Trueman said "Don't bother son, you won't be out there long enough."
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province. Cronje was at the non strikers end, there was a short chubby batsman on strike. Ian Healy yelled to Warne, (I think) "Bowl a Mars Bar half way down...We'll get him stumped" The Aussies and Cronje were all in hysterics. the batsman's retort: "Nah, Boonie fielding at short leg will be onto it before I can move."
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Australia fighting for a win nearing the end of a Test Match Fred Trueman at the crease. The Aus captain has plenty of close-in fielders, whose shadows fall on the wicket. Fredie finds this objectionable. 'Ere, if you lads don't back off, I'll appeal for bad light!"
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Does that David Hayter letter smack of desperation? Please see the movie twice! Please! Pathetic.
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botham story: depends who you belive. botham's version is chappell was rubbishing english cricket so he him and said lets go out side, but chappell wouldn't. chappell's version is botham pushed him off a chair he was on then scuttled off. thing is chappel was famous at the time and i think this was before botham was famous and there were cricket journalists drinking with chappell. no one backs boths autobiography but other people have anonomusly supported chappell. also chappell didn't bring it up till the autobiograhpy. also i belive chappell would beat bothem in a fight. much tougher character. the loudmouths aways break first
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I'm never seeing it again if I can avoid it.
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Sounds like a good game.
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That you aren't prescribed with potentially high blood pressure and coerced into attending wedding anniversaries?!?
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morlock at deputy
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Mar 13, 2009 6:37:36 AM CDT
Melbourne Storm also won by one point
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Good stuff.
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I believe Chappel. And I'm English. Beefy wasn't soft, but it is easily cuntish enough and stupid enough for him.
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execellent club match that will have the biggest atendence of the year. our origin team will be selected out of it, and nothing beats origin, not sex nothing. i only hope some stupid cunt breaks into my house on the way home, i have my entrenching tool handy
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as such i am a follower of them. as are canberra. in the same way that the brisbane afl team is a melbourne team. cant even remember the name. lions, got it. cause of where the feeder clubs come from.
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there is nothing else like it anywhere. superbowl has some simularities but is still not like it. it started two years before i was born 1980. in the years leading up to my birth mine was one of our poorest states. we had pro league teams and a interstate comp. the best players from the clubs from each state played each other in a super game (only two states play league). but see cause i come from a poor state the best players played for the teams that could pay them, all south of the boarder. in my state you didn't get payed. people from my state loathed playing for nsw. the best players from my state created a break away comp. it dosn't matter where you are playing right now, you play for the state you come from. it's called state of origin. and you can never, under any circumstances change. you come from where you come from. and it is played brutally. and people fuck dudes up from their own club. and my state dominates. and my city dominates my state. and when you got shit all it great to be able to be proud of where you come from, and to know that ipswich is notorius for producing the hard men, of the hard men's sport. particular when you are a young fella, and people rubbish ipswich.
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Why would anyone do that? Yeah, back in the day when it was VFL we did that. But since it became AFL there wasn't much point to it. It also helps that you guys just have the two states involved to keep the rivalry alive.
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(now) i'll pay to some gruding degree the 'australian' sport, and to be fair, victorians hit the shores second, way before nsw 'the recalcent state' but i pity you for not having origin. words don't describe what origin is to me. my dad taught all three walters brothers, willie carne, and i used to play on the allan langer field at blair state school. origin is a caveman like yell 'i am from here, from no where else, come, fuck with me take me on, i am from here and i am proud' most typified during the super league period when a qld team of no ones took on nsw feated to embasses themselves, and as they walked out yelled, gutterally 'QUEENSLANDER'. that yell sums up our state. queenslanders.
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Mar 13, 2009 7:10:52 AM CDT
So being a Queenslander is kinda like being Braveheart?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
FREEDOM!!!
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all you need ever say is '39th battalion' cause alone, they stopped the japs, outnumber 10 to 1 at kokoda, dispite the incompetent medeling of macarther. my uncle was in the 39 battalion, he was a queenslander but he got meales when his unit left for the front and transfered in. they had 90% causualties. a kokoda movie came out not to long ago but i doubt it got a overseas realse. my uncle liked but said the actors were too 'healthy looking' cause by that time the victorians were emaceated. they had a crow eater support unit but those guys were a disgrace.
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the word queenslander is a war cry for us.
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NSW? That strikes me as a bit odd.
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they go where the talent is. that is why queensland, of late the state with the second most talented players has dominated state cricket for ten years. cause they are best guys not to get selected.
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Mar 13, 2009 7:35:21 AM CDT
A case can be made for that...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Especially in the 90's. I just think Victorians have been overlooked in the past, and we usually voice our complaints. Especially when NSW are involved.
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Mar 13, 2009 7:37:46 AM CDT
But in the end, I don't think it matters...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
as long as we are winning.
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there's only 4 NSW players in it. I thought that was strange. That's all. We've had a bias towards the Southern counties for as long as I can remember (especially Middlesex and Surrey), then Fletcher ended it and viola the team improved, but it seems to be back again. Which could partially explain why we suck ass again.
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clark lee the waughes mcgrah. the talent was there. rembemer that merv hughes is one of the selectors. if there was a pro nsw bia he would just kick the shit out of the rest of them.
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Christ. That may be why you've no spinners.
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warnie mate. victorian. as i argued above, if victorians should be in the side but arn't, then they would dominate the local comp, but they don't qld does. therefore if you could argue any state, it would be the one that wins the sheffild shield, or whatever they call it these days. and that is qld. because it is full of the second tier players, the best to not get selected. by contrast, being the best state is bad for nsw, if those player played localy they would win our comp
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When 2/3's of the team was from NSW. A prime example of anti-victorian selection is Brad Hodge. The guy plays five tests with an average of 58 including a double century and he gets dropped in favor of Damien Martyn (who played for WA) who had terrible recent form and an abysmal average.
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Mar 13, 2009 7:48:10 AM CDT
Aren't we currently trouncing you in the final, Chipps?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Or am I mistaken.
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until England ended his career ignominiously. Mind you, he was clearly past it and in no state to deal with that Bowling line up.
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but martyn was a great played. we are making a good come back later, and last year a whole generation of players retired, like oz in gerneral. we lost mahhr dude.
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Mar 13, 2009 7:51:17 AM CDT
You can't exactly use the greatest spinner of all time
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
as an example. It didn't matter where he came from. The ones you use are people like Slater who were good but they stuck with them way too long when they weren't performing. And also selecting shit like Shane Lee because he's from NSW and is Bretts brother. He was a load of shit.
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Mar 13, 2009 7:52:57 AM CDT
Martyn was a good player, no doubt
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
But Hodge was playing great cricket, yet got dropped in favor of someone who's time had passed and had a recent track record of shite.
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are stong, England are strong. It's hard to argue against given how many of the great English fast bowlers are from the North (Statham, Tyson, Trueman, Hoggard, Gough, Harmison (not any more, but for 1 year), but I dunno, it's like if you play for Yorkshire or Lancashire you can have 1 bad test and you're fucked off forever (See hoggard/ Read) but if you play for a Southern county you can play like a cunt forever and get endless tests (Bell, Strauss until he was dropped, GEraint Jones (Worst player to ever play for England), Ramprakash). It's fucking annoying.
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beating you guys actually. but you did beat us in the lastest test round. which is all that counts i guess.
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fucking magnificent player. That was very strange.
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That's the most ridiculous fucking thing ever. The guy wouldn't get a game of grade fucking cricket in australia. It really diminishes the value of an MBE when you dish it out to an entire team because they won a few games of cricket.
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the test was a draw, but you won it (a thing only someone who watches cricket can understand) you are top of the ladder and we are second. but we have been in the top two like, 15 years running and you cant say that about victoria. we are consistently at the top. as i say, because the nsw players (and warnie for that matter) wernt playing for their state.
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as 'a harmy' without exception
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Fuck's sake. Don't remind me.
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Apart from his being a cuntish little drunkard, was that he was wildly inconsistent. He could play the most magnificent innings you could see, then follow it up with 4 of the most pathetic innings you could see.
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Mar 13, 2009 8:04:12 AM CDT
Best opening delivery of an Ashes... Ever
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
A Harmy.
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but for 2 years he was an unplayable monster.
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ever thought about that?
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it was like the time in the simpsons when bart acedently bloodies nelsons nose. we were waiting for you guys. for me, and read above, the ashes is almost like almost, origin. all those years we were awesome and you were crap, like so low on the table. i prefered, always, whatching the ashes to watching us play number two. the ashes is the first and longest running international comp, between two old foes. i watched all of the series you won. i was unemployed and my best mate and house mate was an alcoholic, which pretty much made me one. it was so underated no comerical station picked it up. so it was on sbs, and i watched it all, and i will never forget it. even in loss one of the best things i have ever seen. mcgrath rolled his ankel. and those players, who would have retired after it, held on because we lost. and we waited. and we opened our beers, and leant forward for the first ball. and on strode harmy.
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Brendon Julian and Michael Slater swapped numbers (in case you don't know, Aussies have get a number when selected) after Slater had the wrong number tattooed upon his ankle. He actually had it done before he'd won his Baggy Green.
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The North has a long tradition for Cricket and Football, the M62 corridor plays Rugby League. The Rest of the country plays football, RU and Cricket. Rugby of any code is a minority sport though. Cricket especially has a long and noble history in Yorkshire- Close, Boycott, Trueman etc. Lancashire the same. Nowadays, weirdly, there are more Durham players in the England side than Yorkshiremen. Which is a fucking joke (this may change if Vaughan and Hoggard come back and Rashid keeps improving). I think there may be more Durham than Lancastrians as well. It's a fucking pisstake. The reason fast bowling tends to come from the north more is the conditions- Headingly especially used to be notorious for swinging like a bitch and maiming batsmen, whereas The Oval is always more flat.
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I didn't know he was a pisshead though. Stupid cunt.
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That's very much what it was like (except for the alcoholism). I was here for the 2005 series (luckily I was off travelling for the final test) but the poms were insufferable. So I waited, bided my time, until late 2006 (thank christ it was that soon). Surprise, surprise, The Ashes didn't get much press over here, except for a lot of whinging.
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we went to rugby grammar. a pilgramidge for my famaily. did you know that at that school a thing occurred called 'the school boy rebelion' a bunch of boarders stoles the desks and chairs from the school and heaped them in a circle around the bottom of a small hill. they piled food and rocks for throwing at the top, and the army had to dislodge them. this because they didn't like the food. that is where my sport started.
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when i was a boarder
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There was loads of Anticipation for it here- we looked like a good side, we'd done you- it should have been an improved team (Read for Jones and Monty for Read). Then we saw the team that Fletcher picked and knew we were fucked. Strauss should have been captain, Panesar and Read should have been playing. It was a farce- and that's before you consider the non-performance of Mahmood and Harmless
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"Read for Jones and Monty for Giles" Point still stands
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from the start. like when bart bloodied nelson's nose
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It's Rugby school- not Rugby Grammar and I know all about it. I hate revealing personal info on here, but I graduated from it.
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you think every series is going to be a whitewash. It's an Aussie trait- like when you thought that all you had to do to beat us in the RWC QF was turn up and we monstered you and humiliated your pack.
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and lord know i love a fighting underdog (read above) who wins, never aware that everyone was saying he never could. and i will never take it away from you guys, you won fair and square. i nearly hit a couple of 'whinging aussies' arguing about it. there were controvesal descisions that went against us, but that wasn't cheating that is cricket, it is the sport. people who watch cricket understand that perfect acuracy is impossible. and i could never tolerate whinging aussies being pissweak about that test, we lost fair and square. but truth be told, the stars aligned and the weaker team won. i don't say that with disrespect but with praise. that is what happened in my story above, the 'queenslander' super league year, and i love it. the stars aligned for you and one of the things was we were argogant fucks, who didn't put enough in at the start. but we didn't make that mistate the next time. and comon in oz was the words 'it was good for us, we forgot about loss, now we are angry and don't wont to loose.'
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Mar 13, 2009 8:38:33 AM CDT
I'm not saying there was no anticipation, Jarv
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
There was plenty. I'm saying as soon as the 'Harmy' was delivered and you got your asses handed to you in the first test, you could hear a fucking pin drop in the press. Ashes? What Ashes? England are playing cricket somewhere? Coulda fooled me. What's going on in the Premier League?
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we hadn't lost a series since 96, it was far and away the longest series of victories ever, many of the player had never witnessed deafeat.
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and HE stills calls it a harmy in the box
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www.mymavra.com
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i bow down to you lord jarv. one day as an adult, i too will take a pilgramide to your school. maybe the grammar thing comes from the fact that i went to grammar school. seriously. jarv wins the thread
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that Aussie side was past it's best- and full of the wrong selections. Granted McGrath's injury was unlucky, but Warne was inspired. Hayden was never any good in English conditions, our bowlers worked out Gilchrist (first time anyone has been able to say that), Martyn should not have been picked, ditto gillespie, Katich was in the wrong place in the order. But I'm not kidding myself, it was our bowling that won it- Ian Bell failed, Strauss wasn't great, Trescothick was OK, KP did nothing until the Oval, Read failed, Freddie was OK- we expected to be able to carry on with that bowling attack, and it just didn't happen. It was never likely to either, because Jones and Freddie had the series of their lives. Plus Ponting was shown to be a not-very-good captain (not for the last time), who didn't have a fucking clue when he couldn't throw it to McGrath.
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Mar 13, 2009 8:47:12 AM CDT
The 2005 second test was probably the best I've seen
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
How we managed to fight back, then Warnie gave his wicket away with an inexplicable shot, then Lee and Kasprowicz playing on and looking like we'd got it, then Kasprowicz getting caught behind when he TECHNICALLY wasn't out. Fucking exciting stuff and I went immediately to the pub with my house mate and got completely shitfaced. I say technically in caps because while he wasn't out, you never would expect the umpire to see that, and it's all fair in cricket. Fucking wish we'd won though. Me and my housemate were on our knees in front of the tv yelling and cursing and responding to every ball. Great stuff.
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Yeah, Chipps it was a long time ago when I left that place.
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that won that test. Aussies were steaming along and he pulled this miracle yorker/ slower ball out of his ass and castled Clarke
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he is bowler. lee was our stand out, did the tail ever wag. notable in that series, and only someone who watches cricket can understand, was the ebb and flow of the tests. when a game goes for five days you need a good understanding to know who is 'winning' and every game changed hands more times than i have ever seen in cricket. but fair suck of the sav. england was nothing without flintoff. england was good. but flintoff won.
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Mar 13, 2009 8:52:01 AM CDT
We were overconfident and didn't rate England at all
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Couple that with the fact that you were captained very well, you swang the ball a mile and our guys played like shit all adds up to a series loss. We didn't make that mistake the next time.
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Mar 13, 2009 8:54:49 AM CDT
Warne always plays an inexplicable shot though
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Like when he was on 99, about to get his maiden test hundred and he swiped wildly and skied it. THE most ridiiculous shot I've ever seen.
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but particularly the test we lost, and to dig you whinging poms, particularly that test, was a special time in my life. for two months i organised my life in way that all i did was drink and watch cricket, and as it turned out it was a seminal series. few people watched every ball (i missed one hour when driving between televisions)
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you will never hear me whinge. you won and good luck to you. you deserved to win. so to did we. but you did. you won in a fair comp, in the best series i have ever seen. and i am suspius, that if i live to be old, 60 years from now people will call it the greatest series ever. i belive it is. and lying in bed, dribbling on myself, i will say, i drank like a fish, argued shit and statistics as you do, and watched every ball
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we could have won- McGrath was on fire that day. There was no whinging about losing then.I've never seen Harmless bowl a nastier spell and we destroyed your top order. The best thing about that bowling attack was it hunted in packs- they all knew what they were there to do and played accordingly. At the time, we didn't understand the lack of respect from some of your players- we were unbeaten in 2 years and had won an obscene amount of tests on the bounce (incuding a series victory in SA- which we'd never done). Hopefully this time will be as good, you've still got serious question marks about the swinging ball (Hughes has never faced one), whether or not we have the bowlers to do it is another question. I, personally, don't think we do at the moment and I'll fucking cry if I see Ian Bell in the team at any point.
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playing 2 spinners and preparing pitches accordingly. If we do that we'll get whitewashed
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but by god the tail waged. the test coming up, anyone's game. honestly, we had, six years ago, histories greatest side. now we are merely the best in the world, ranked number one, but it is arugable. the next ashes. it will be a competition.
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this from the country that invented bodyline. fuck you! our care takers don't doctor the pitch for a side. our pitches are the same year in year out over more than a century. and both side get equal access to the caretaker to disscuss it.
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and our top order collapsed twice in that game. Your tail wagged every match. Wasn't Warne your 2nd or 3rd highest scorer in that Series?
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and lee
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i know you wernt taking it away from our tail, you were saying, correctly that our top order colapsed. implicitly you were saying we were competive through our tail
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but there is honestly no movie i want to see. the closest is 'australia' which i almost feel abilged to watch but really doesnt stir me.
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They should do it to produce a contest. It's all part of home advantage- you prepare it to suit your strengths.There have been serious incidents of pitches deliberately being prepared to be utter wank- see the recent England v WI series.
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all groundsmen prepare a pitch -correct they should do it to make a (five day - this is crucial) competitionthey should make a home team advantage = wrong wrong wrong fucking wrong. the only advantage we make for our pitches is that they are always the same, so of course we are more used to them then you are. no further advantage than that.
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it starts in a few months so there will be lots of this.
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us. if only he could see us know...............
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And by prepare I don't mean doctor- we've never done that, and never will. I'd actually ilke to see the end of the Heavy Roller that makes pitches flatter and gives more of an advantage to batsmenIt doesn't really matter what they do to them as each ground behaves in it's own way. For example- Lords has to be relaid about every 5-7 years or it turns into a featherbed borefest, Headingly swings, Old Trafford bounces and rains, Edgbaston is fast and nasty, Trent Bridge turns, and The Oval is a draw pitch. That's just what this country is like- the conditions overhead are more important than the pitch itself.
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this conversation- just before start of play. With an overcast sky and England bowling first. (But with the promise of sun later, so Johnson can't have any swing- heh)
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No one else is around to discuss film and I've got way too much on my plate today anyway. So keep it up! It makes it easier for me to get my work done today!
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in this country the caretakers are obessed with 'creating a decision on the fifth day'
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it's unique playing here- SA is much more like Australia in terms of conditions, and England couldn't be more different. Personally, I'd like to see a green pitch at Chester-Le-St for the first test v the Windies as I reckon our bowlers earned one after the shite they've just had to go through.
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Not sure how close it is to the shooting draft, but this is, without a doubt, the worst dialogue ever written. As a comedy, it's genius. If I wasn't at work I'd be laughing through tears.
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Mrs. Jarv is making very, very threatening noises about me keeping removing it from the list.
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looking back, i really like m, night and gave him a chance. the last one should have been lady in water. i should not have given him a chance on happening. i really wanted it to be good.
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Looks like a few nights on the couch for me.
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Mar 13, 2009 10:05:01 AM CDT
Pretty much sums it up for me
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
"I'd fucking love to be sitting in the boozer having this conversation- just before start of play. With an overcast sky and England bowling first. (But with the promise of sun later, so JONES can't have any swing- heh)" Well said, Jarv.
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Mar 13, 2009 10:09:31 AM CDT
I was tempted to give up on M. Night after The Village
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Probably the worst film I saw that year. I don't look unkindly on Lady in the Water because, although it has a lot of problems (film critic character and casting himself as the writer who changes the world!!!), it actually tried something different and was unique. I can't fault a movie, no matter how bad it is, if it at least tries. The Happening has to be seen just for the 'outrunning the wind' scenes. They rival the 'outrunning the freeze' scenes in Day After Tomorrow.
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Mar 13, 2009 10:11:54 AM CDT
Why do you hate yourself, HOD?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
READING the fucking Happening script?!? Get HOD into therapy, asap!
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Is far better than the book. Why doesn't Jarv have a larger cult following? It is a confusing and unfair world.
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I can't bring myself to after Signs and the Village. I also don't want to see The Happening. Dude's lost me forever.
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which makes it stranger that meyers can't.
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I saw 'Australia'. If you can get through the shitful first hour, it's actually quite enjoyable. Honestly, the first hour is full of really embarrassing comedy and grotesque caricatures. Then all of a sudden most of that stops and it becomes fairly involving. Even if I hate Kidman. Seriously, I respect Jackman a lot for staying faithful to his (quite a bit older) wife, because he would be neck deep in the puss if he chose so.
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the village feel short but i can pay it as a story. one thing that got to me from the first scene was that that their tecnology was out of wack with the time in which they were supposed to be. given the final twist, you needed to get that sort of shit right. plus 'smart people' you know, the guys that talk down to you, the reason that they 'knew the ending' was that those sort of crimes didn't exist back in the day. i actually think that these people were on m. night's wavelength. unfortunealy for me i have read a bit about the history of my nation, and shit, it used to a tought old world, so when you hear about a tough life, you don't atomatically think 'shit, it wasn't that bad in the past' cause it used to be worse. but as a story it works better. and the film critic character, and the writer character in lady, i don't dislike them, in fact they are probly the best thing about it. in truth it dosn't work as a story. that is my problem with it, not it's self serving nature. it all about the story, and the story was shit, and that one should have been my last chance. instead i then went and watched the happenening. sorry jarv your on the couch. i was prepared for it to be good, i didn't walk in negaitive.
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I like it quite a bit. Haven't seen it for years, but I enjoyed the hell out of it. The Village on the other hand...
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i struggle to see a guy who could make a movie that reflects my australia. my australia is occa. and looking at the trailers, his movie is trying to be occa. no the priciallia or strictlly ballroom australia, he can sell that, no he wants this movie to be the 'gi'day i'm a fucking aussie' australia, and i don't belive mr strictly ballroom can do that.
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I actually hate it more than The Village (which I also don't like)
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Terrible. When you're making a film about a twist, it helps that the film is interesting before the twist.
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topic- he's flamboyanty gay (well I assume he is, but I'm probably not being fair)
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Thanks for the Lost updates. Much appreciated, man!
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Mar 13, 2009 10:31:08 AM CDT
The Village existed for no other reason than for the twist
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
The 'story' wasn't involving. The guy with the nose that played the tard gave the worst fucking performance I'd seen in a long time. Brody. Fuck that was shameful. There was no tension. I wasn't interested in what was in the woods. I was bored shitless for 100 minutes then amazingly underwhelmed by the completely unbelievable 'twist'. The film critic in LITW was a pathetic 'response' to those who criticised The Village. I didn't say the character of the writer who changes the world is a bad one. It's a fucking patheticly egotistical move to cast HIMSELF as the writer.
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I'm pretty sure Baz is married with kids. Yep, I was stunned too.
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Mar 13, 2009 10:32:25 AM CDT
Jarv, can you talk the wife into reading the script?
by hawaiian organ donor
She won't have to get beyond the 5th page before she's permanently removed it from Lovefilm never to be spoken of again.M. Night makes the sin of telling rather than showing on every page. The guy who I presume is played by Leguizamo in a math teacher. Instead of showing him teaching math to a class, he meets up with who I presume to be Wahlburg's character and throws percentages at him of their risks in this "terrorist" attack and follows it up by saying, I kid you not, "It's a good thing I'm a math teacher because being good with numbers comes in handy at a time like this." Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezus.Taken as a B-movie, it's hysterical. I could see myself watching this with the CoC over a keg and a bottomless glass of rum.
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And your head is catching. It's so staggeringly bad on every single level that it blows by the concept of watching a bad movie for fun like you're driving the car from Buckaroo Bonzai. It's Fucking shit on toast is what it is.The Nighter lost his shit about half way through Signs and has wandered lost in the wilderness since then. I guess you can't blame him though, when you have your head stuck up your ass your vision is obscured by your colon.
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I'm being a bit unreconstructed but, really? A CV with Strictly Ballroom, Moulin Rouge, the gayest Romeo and Juliet ever made and he's straight?
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How do I add reviews to the Mr. Zeddemore page?
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'Luhrmann married Catherine Martin, the production designer on all of his films, on 26 January 1997. They have two children, Lillian Amanda Luhrmann and William Alexander Luhrmann.'
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If any of you have missed out on Xiphos' serial story "Hot Wind, Cool Breeze", you should check it out. It is absolutely excellent!
He has the first 3 parts posted on the front page of mymavra. -
But unsuited to that kind of film. I saw glimpses of what could've been in the last hour or so. But it's like Michael Bay making Pearl Harbor. Completely unsuited to the subject and material. Although I did really enjoy the last half hour of Pearl Harbor, when Baldwin takes centre stage and starts chewing the scenery.
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oscar wilde was married
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I'll fix it. I'm getting much better at linking the postings now, but I'd muck the whole thing up if I just tried to give an explanation. Herb is better at explaining the tech stuff (and he's probably sorry he ever tried to teach it to me!).
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Mar 13, 2009 10:40:50 AM CDT
Luhrman definitely has an eye for the flamboyant
by hawaiian organ donor
Moulin Rouge had it's moments and I thought his take on Romeo and Juliet was interesting. I might watch Australia this weekend.Droid, I'm putting the finishing touches on the third re-write of my script before I submit it again and it helps to look at piss poor scripts that actually went into production to give yourself an ego boost. The Happening is the script all wannabe screenwriters should read because if something so tragically written can be greenlighted and make $100+ million at the B.O. then just about anything can.
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I just found that AintItBaleNews site. Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez, fucking amateurs. heh!
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i'll pay sings. the twist was in the structure of the story. at first you think you are watching a movie about aliens, but you never were. the story was never about aliens. it was about fate, and faith. the twist was you thought you were watching one story, but you were watching a different story, and in the new story, the aliens were irrelevant, they were a plot device that could have been anything. i'll pay that.
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Fair enough. But it got sold because his films are inexpensive and gross a shitload of cash (usually). If you watch Australia, just be sure that it gets better after a while.
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OK, this is genius. The main couple is preparing to evacuate their apartment as reports come in from around the city and world that a toxin is taking over and the chick actually says "I'll water the plants." Death is pounding on your door, but by all means go ahead and spritz the foliage, honey.Xiphos, are you sure this thing isn't worth watching drunk for comedy value?
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Welcome to the cult of Supernatural there's plenty of room on the band wagon.If anybody here's is thinking about commiting adultury via a bar pick up go read Mavra's poem on her site. It will make you reconsider that paticular course of action.
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good b grades have that certain, no budget, chicks willing to show their tits porno thing happening. this dose not have it. big buget, a list actor movies can never be b grade porno interesting.
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Mar 13, 2009 10:53:05 AM CDT
It should be so bad it's good...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
but it's so fucking slow and the performances so dour that it's just shit. And the big eyed chick from Elf is so miscast its not funny. I'm also disappointed in Wahlberg. I thought he had a lot of potential after Boogie Nights and Fear (shitty flick, good performance).
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Got it linked both into your review section and in the reader contribution section. You have no idea how tech inept I really am. A couple of days ago, I backspaced one spot too many when I was doing one of those updates and it caused me to erase a big chunk of the reader section. I had to go back and rewrite it all because there is no "undo" button. Major moment of lameness! Ha ha!
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Mar 13, 2009 10:57:19 AM CDT
Oh and 'outrunning the wind' should be cinematic gold
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Alas, it takes someone as moronically talented as Roland Emmerich to pull off such a feat.
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It's better on paper then on the screen. It was throughly miscast, visually flat, stupid, boring and didn't make a lick of sense. I don't think booze could help it.Here's an example. you mentioned Marky Mark's wife above. The actress played the character like she was infected all the way through the movie. She walked around with this vacant stare all the time and mumbled.Marky Mark wanted to play his character, a High School biology teacher, as a cross between Dirk Diggler and his character from The Departed. It's a fucking mess. The big twist reveal about the plants doesn't even make sense. It doesn't have to be scientifically true just make it somewhat viable that's all I ask.
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and I don't know why.
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But even from a cash cow perspective, if I was running a studio, I'd be concerned about what films my studios logo was attached to. You wouldn't want your good name to be associated with a pedophile or some cunty footballer. Warner Bros. should have taken one look at that script and passed. It's an embarrassment of the highest order.They can always make money with stuff like The Dark Knight and Terminator.
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I think its better knowing the twist beforehand (like I did). But I must say I'm probably biased because of its absolutely beautiful score. That said, I have zero interest in seeing Lady in the Water and The Happening.
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To sum it up it, The Crappening blows goats.
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Cheers. Site's looking great.
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Nicholas Cage. He manages that all the time.
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Not interested - if I want to an appallingly funny horror film, I'll put Quarantine on again.
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i'm going to bed. droid, dude, i swear it is night here, dude. THE EARTH IS ROUND!!!!!
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later chipps. have a good one.
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Oh boy, does THIS look like crap... http://tinyurl.com/csw7ap
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Mar 13, 2009 11:11:59 AM CDT
HOD, Fox produced The Happening
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
They couldn't give two shits about quality, obviously.
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The studio with such an eye for quality that it approved the Predalien
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They give Foxes a bad name.
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They give arseholes a bad name.
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Mar 13, 2009 11:28:39 AM CDT
The Day After Tomorrow is dumbhouse gold for me
by hawaiian organ donor
I know everyone on the planet loathes that movie with the fiery passion of a supernova, but I found it staggeringly stupid to the point of being B-movie goodness with an A-movie budget.Outrunning the cold falls into so bad it's good territory for me. Was it good? No. Was it so hilariously bad it's awesome? It was to me.
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Outrunning the freeze is some of Rolands finest work.
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I'm building an idiot."I'm so using that on someone at some point.
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the dog outrunning the fireball in Independence Day Having the Brits sitting by the morse code machine waiting for the Yanks to save them in Independence Day The giant ostrich's that I fully expected to be making a gobble, gobble sound in 10,000 BC The tiger in 10,000 BC that I fully expected to talk with the voice of James Earl Jones Casting a chick with a dick as the leader of the alien race in Stargate. Casting the gay guy from Melrose Place as one of the military in Godzilla. Having Dolph say 'I'm all ears' as he raises his necklace of human ears for effect in Universal Solder. The man is a genius.
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Is in that new Sly movie. That's awesome.
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Was just fucking terrible. I blame Heath's Bottom for, he is just a terrible actor.
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I never thought it was set in the 1800's, I immediately thought 'oh, they've shut themselves off from modern society...' That could be because I never saw the date on the grave at the start - I was pouring myself a drink at the time!That said, why would they need to use a false date? What difference does it make to the youngsters if they don't know any different - whether it be 1800, 1900 or 2000? It's all the same to them.Didn't like it, nor Lady In The Water. Did like Signs. Would like to catch The Happening just to witness the reported debacle.I still think M. Night can get it back.
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Awesome. Man though that movie was SO bad I don't even remember it. I am not the biggest fan of just bad movies. I do however like Little Monsters.
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He fought the thing for TWO hours in the water. And this is without a scuba tank too. Pretty badass. Though I end up feeling bad for the shark.
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Brilliantly observed portrayal of a Man United fan, though."Kick it! Kick it! Kick it!" Inspired.
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Can't top the awesome 'hippo ATTACKs boat' sequence from Congo
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Can't top the awesome 'hippo ATTACKs boat' sequence from Congo
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Maybe they had to keep the date in the 1800s so they could use time appropriate textbooks in their teachings? If there even are such things, that is...
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Read about that in the paper, they had a photograph of the grapple too. Yeh, I felt sorry for the shark as well. Big softie...
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I don't get the people that love M. Night but despise Emmerich. With Emmerich you get a guy that knows he's making disposable trash not to be taken seriously and he ramps the cheese up to a factor of 11. He's a B-movie genius along the lines of Corman, he's just blessed with bigger budgets.The dialogue in The Happening isn't much worse than the laughable crap spewed forth in ID4 or Godzilla, but the difference is M. Night thinks he's writing high art."We should finish talking about what we were talking about this morning." Who freaking thinks this is dialogue that should be taken seriously?
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Here's a link to the interview with the divers, but you can find links to the other videos in the submenus on the right and below.
http://tinyurl.com/dxhv7e -
Mar 13, 2009 11:54:21 AM CDT
The diver even felt sorry for it
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
And he said somthing like "In the end I had to put a knife through its skull. It's a shame. But then we cut off a chunk and ate it." Genius.
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They kill more people in Africa each year than lions or crocodiles do. So at least that scene was realistic.
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Is that he says things like 'The Day After Tomorrow is scientifically accurate', whereas if he just said 'IT'S A FUCKING SNOW-STORM', no-one would mind.
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I've no doubt they can, it's just the brilliant sigh of an awfully designed hippo being beaten by clubs that gets me. Sort of like if Jaws was directed by someone incompetent.
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That's awesome. One of the videos shows the diver holding the shark's tail in one hand (rest of the body out of frame) and what I assume is the shark's jaws in the other. I feel bad bc the video footage that's available makes it look like the shark didn't even stand a chance. He's swimming around all vertical like with his mouth agape thinking "awww fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck."
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on the textbooks. But I'll still take a lot of convincing!
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I think it was a pretty well designed hippo (it even had that ear twitch they do so often), I just think it was poorly shot.
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on the ground those beasts are clumsy and goofy an nobody cares about them. In water they are fast, quick, angry and very dangerous. The only thing more deadly in Africa then the hippo are bugs and Cape Buffalo.
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M. Knight a lot more then R. Emmerich. I love ID4, Stargate, The Patriot, Universal Solider and Godzilla. But just didn't care for 10,000 BC or The Day After Tomorrow.
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Heh - touche. I'll concede the clumsy shooting made that scene incomprehensible.
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If they did teach the kids its the year 2000, then they would have to retcon all the rest of history. It'd be like "Here in the 1800s, the cotton gin flourished. Then there was a Civil War." Well, what happened between the end of the war and now, the year 2000?" "Absolutely nothing! No technological advances whatsoever!" Or they'd have to say the Civil War actually took place in 1974 and Columbus landed in America in 1726 or something like that.
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Like you said, if its Jaws was directed by someone incompetent.
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Which part of Africa? Or was it a zoo trip gone horribly wrong?
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More people then any animal except for maybe Elephants and Christian Bale.
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No ill-will intended, the guy's awesome.
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He's no fucking amateur, he's a professional.
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Genius. Bout friggin' time, I say. And this comes from someone who doesn't smoke. http://tinyurl.com/dmfrs9
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Mar 13, 2009 12:13:12 PM CDT
Hippo's attack humans when they feel threatened.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
They attack little plastic balls when they're hungry, hungry.
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Oh thanks for that droid.
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......... "The waiting game sucks, let's play Hungry, Hungry Hippos instead!" That was my favorite game as a kid.
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The Congo.
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Ernie Hudson is a pimp
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Sheesh I don't even know what that refers to anymore. Do you mind my asking what you were doing there? Army stuff? Pleasure-cruising? Jungle trek? Poaching?
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Yes that is a real show.
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Were four directors on the Super Mario Brothers movie including Roland Joffé.
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The Village date logic is starting to make more sense!Still not a fan though!It's just... the scene with her and William Hurt and he tells her there are no monsters. Then there's a dreadful voiceover where he basically says - "you know what, I DID say there weren't any monsters... but maybe there were some, at one time or other." It's like M. Night knew he was premature letting that one out of the bag and tries to get the tension back.And I can't get past - no matter what rules the village elders have laid down, that a father would allow his BLIND daughter to go blundering around in the woods on her own (her companions desert her) without going to her aid. A father's love for his daughter would steamroller any rules.
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Wow, what a beauty she is.
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Nikkala Stott.But having just Goggled her - she looks tidy.
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It took all four directors to create that masterpiece.
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Someone on the IT TB thinks Robert McCammon's Swan Song is superior to King's The Stand.Speechless.
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But The Stand is better than Swan Song. Even I can't argue with that one. McCammon's Boy's Life is also better than Swan Song, but this crowd might be more appreciative of "Gone South", with the fugitive Vietnam vet being pursued by the Siamese Twins and Elvis impersonator bounty hunters. It's pretty original.
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Mar 13, 2009 1:29:22 PM CDT
After the scene with the farmer who lies down in front...
by hawaiian organ donor
...of the tractor, M. Night inserted this little nugget.THE TREES WHISPER MISCHIEVOUSLY.Gold I tells ya! Gold in them thar hills!
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Do they throw their apples at anyone?
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Fucking hell. I had that happen in my killer Christmas trees short I did back in college. I've been ripped off twice!
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He should have gone full maniac. Apples, pears, bananas, no fruit off limits.He's unprofessional.
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Gonna go take a shit and read another chapter in Men Watching.
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This might possibly be the worst franchise of all time. First is really good, third is okay, but 2/4/5 are fucking atrocious.
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The last novel I read of his was Stinger, long time ago. Thought that was okay, but I never really connected with his writing. I think it was every time I read one of his books I could see King in there, like McCammon was always riffing on a King idea.I'm probably totally out of order saying that. I've also read Night Boat, Baal & Blue World. Was Bethany's Sin one of his? They were good but left no lasting impression.
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But, other than "Blue World", you seem to be missing the really good ones. "Usher's Passing" is great (updating and expanding on Poe, of course). How about "Mine" where a crazy refugee radical kidnaps a baby, or Speaks the Nightbird, which is about the days of the witch trials? He also edited a really good book of vampire stories called "Under the Fang", with the premise of a future where vampires are in charge. There a very cool and utterly disgusting story in there about extreme wrestling (loser gets eaten, winner gets turned). It will make you cringe when the subject of body piercings come up.
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McCammon is not as graphic as King, though.
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That was the best, hands down. Classic and original. I'd recommend it to anyone. Ghosts, gunslingers, voodoo, nazi's, dinosaurs, giant gators, and a monkey named Lucifer. What more can you ask for in one book?
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But it's at least as interesting as Series' bathroom announcement. ;)
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Murder Party has better chain saw effects then Tokyo Gore Police.
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Just the ones I listed - nothing later than those. I'll have to give his other stuff a go.
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That was just horrendous.
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I dug it more than the first one. Director Chuck Russell also worked on Dreamscape - I reckon it's no coincidence that the two stories are kind of similar. He must've been a bit miffed that Dreamscape disappeared without a ripple and so resurrected the concept for Elm St 3.Part 2 I only remember for the line "There's a jessie on the phone..."Part 4 - doesn't the movie repeat itself at some point? Annoying. Part 5 I can't remember at all.
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Darabont and Craven both were credited writers, Russell did a great job directing, and Fishburne/Arquette were great. But nothing beats Kincaid. That guy and his 'fuck you Freddy' attitude was refreshingly bitchin.
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Is that the Renny Harlin one? That one kind of sucked. Am I the only one who liked New Nightmares and FVJ?
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Darabont co-wrote Elm St 3. I like the whole 'dream' idea, it's a very good concept. I read a novel once, similar thing again, think it was called Night Warriors but I could be wrong. Can't think of the author.
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I think that was Part 2, Freddy's Revenge. Harlin was 4?
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he was age 4 when he directed it! Then again...
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was all right. That movie might have been the kickstart to Scream and all those other likeminded films.
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with this fuckin mp3 player. Presently needs my full attention...
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And it was pathetic. Pool party Freddy was II... where he somehow sets water on fire without gasoline.
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Day After Tomoro was OK but not something you need to see twice. 10,000 BC had some good parts but was really, really STOOPID. Wheras Congo was Really, Really Stoopid-but just this side of being Entertainingly junky that I had fun w/ it. Xiphos, c'mon what did I tell you over and over-it's a LION! NOT A HIPPO you tool--
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Run for your LIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFE
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Run for your LIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFE
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that paticular African adventure happened when I was still in the Army right at the tail end of the First Gulf War. We we tasked with the mission of pulling out some missionarries and doctors that got caught in the middle of a machete-a-thon.
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I am I tool that I admit but in this particular case it was a hippo...I'm still smarting about getting gyped out of seeing a giant lion attacking Yew York in Cloverfield, the rat bastards.
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Only if voiced by James Earl Jones.
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should only be voiced by David Prowse..."Oyma loyan, oy ahhhm an oy gotta brand new comboyn arrrvester!"Residents of Yew York - "SCRRREEEAAAMMM!"
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The one and only. Any other Giant Lion-won't do. Preposserus!! Xiphos you have had an interesting and varied life. I think if you go rooting around Djbouti enough you may find the Missing Footage of Cloverfield, complete w/ the teams of Robot Lions and the Other Iguana. It's only fitting it'd be in Djbouti. They like Lions there.
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Greatest film idea EVER.
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Just finished Tokyo Gore Police....it was ok, it was like Croneburg was allowed to direct a Troma film.
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I'm obviously far too modest to say so meself!
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If that's the movie full of fountainous blood spurting ludicrousity - wasn't for me. Not that I'm against crazy 'fbsl' action. There clearly isn't enough in mainstream cinema.But that all changes when The Prowse's Giant Lion hits the streets!
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Um, whuh? He's died five times. This is nothing new.
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You guys have never seen the city entirely made out of any of various coniferous trees and shrubs in the genus Taxus? I'm telling ya'll you haven't lived till you have seen it.
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How did Yaphet Kotto end up in that?Groan-inducing effects work, if I recall rightly. Is it the one where they attempt to give Freddy some back story?
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Tomorrow I'm off to the peaceful climes of the Solway Firth.So, until next Friday - be good, folk. And if you can't be good, be good at being bad. Ciao for now.
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false date in village. i agree and have said so myself. dates are nominal. if you have no contact with the outside world, no knowledge of history or the historical development of tecnology, then what does the date matter? the thing that got me was the date on the grave was late 1890s early 1900s cant remember. if joacin 'the bearded dragon' phonix lived their his whole life then it may have nominally started in the 1870s. their technology was way out of wack for that period. by that time america had industralised, fought an industral war, had electricy, in that period had light bulbs and telephones, certianly telegraphs, had a transcontinental railroad, cloths were produced industralially, the tecnology was way out of wack with this. i just asumed it was some being stupid. like i said above, i didn't leap to the conclusion that it was present day based on the 'inner city crime' clue, cause in the mid to late 1800s inner city crime was pretty bad.
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have a nice holiday.
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I googled it and it sounds very nice except that it's boarder reiver country near to the Regulus of the Isles. What? it's not 1540? oh sorry. Still sounds nice though.
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Good luck, boss. Freddy gets backstory in Part III onwards. Halfway through Part VI, and fuck... how can you not dig Power Glove sporting Freddy?
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i was a mercy killing. the shark was circling the diver and was going to go for him so he shot it with his spear gun. this didn't kill it but was a mortal wound, so the diver decided that the humane thing was to kill it, which is why the shark looks like it didn't stand a chance, cause by that time it was mortally wounded.
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i had to drive into the city but didn't realise there was a street march so i just ended up parked. i didn't realise it would be on today because it isn't fucking st patricks day. besides, what is the point of a st patricks day march. the irish arn't a minority here, they are the majority.
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eventually you would still have the same problem, because time would be stationary. plus they would have to reprint those old books, but it is a good point. remember the children knew that they were cut off from the real world, they knew they were an armish like society that had rejected the outside.
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staff on seaseme street are getting fired. its true. the count wants to know 'how many jobs are we talking about? is it one job? is it two jobs' this is some very funny shit. http://tinyurl.com/dlowf9
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you did the killer christmas trees? i saw that it was great!
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-which Mr Bay will bring us this June. 'B' is for 'BOOOMMM!!' which will happen to Everything in the movie. 'C' is for CASH-the fans will be waiting. 'H' is for 'Hate'-these boards with which shall be overflowing. 'W' is for 'Watchman'---- sorry my bad. IT'S A LION!-Robb I SWEAR--------
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ITTTTTTTTTTT''''''SSSSSSSSSSSS A LIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON
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So I'm on hour 4 of the second in an aborted trilogy, but I can't help but thinking that I missed a Narnia movie in there somewhere. It wasn't until hour two did I feel I had a good grasp as to whats going on. All and all it feels more like an 80's movie, with more creature characters, shoddy acting and an all around darker movie then the first one. Added with the jumbled plot like most 80's films had, also its EXTREMELY loud. I mean the first came off as LOTR for kids, this outing is a much different experience. Is it based off the second book in the series or did they skip one? One minute let me fact check OK So PC was the second book made but really the fourth book in the series, but I guess there's some online debates going about which order to read them. So final thought loved the inclusion of the retarded bear, but wonder who the fuck are these people that are so bad ass full of themselves that they would take on a fucking Horseman? Or the retarded bear for that matter?
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Cast Jason Sudeikis in it. Odd choice but it worked.
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how come the McLovin kid wasn't the head king? He was by far more a bad ass then Peter was, and he didn't have that gay English lisp either.
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I did NOT do the short flick "Treevenge" that was featured here at AICN back during the Sundance coverage. I did a short back in college about killer Christmas trees and felt Treevenge had somehow ripped off my idea- and if they hadn't, they made it extremely hard for me to be able to do something with it. Bastards.
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Actually, at the time the Village was supposed to take place in, I don't think every bit of America was connected to a power grid. Rural areas might still have had to make do with lanterns.
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My interest for this flick just PLUMMETED. I am *not* a fan of Scarjo. Especially not a fan of her taking on roles that she is COMPLETELY wrong for.
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Don't let them ruin your idea. I think killer Christmas trees sounds fantastic. It sounds like something I'd want to see. Go for it!
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I thought all along that they were in modern times because of the coat that Brendan Gleeson was wearing in one of the very early scenes. It stood out because it did not fit in with everyone else's style of dress and did not look in the least old-fashioned.
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Puts himself in his fucking movies.
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If he appeared, it would be in the backround, walking by or a photo on a newspaper. It was interesting. When Stephen King does it, it's usually tongue-in-cheek ("Honey, this machine just called me an asshole!"). Shyamalon's use of that just doesn't work as well because he tries to make himself, no matter how briefly he appears, overly important to the continuity of the story. It spoils the idea.
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Like in Lifeboat where he is in an Add for losing weight thing and he is the before pic.
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i'm not saying specifically that they should have had power, of course not many homes out of the cities had power at this time. I am saying that their technology is out of wack with 1897. Even if you say jocquin or whatever his name is say in his thirties, and lived his whole life their, well the technology is out of wack with the mid 1860s. this was portrayed as preindustrial society, living long after the industrial revolution. to be fair though, they freely admit that they have rejected society. lets face it, they were on par with the amaish, who are like this even now. But at the time that we can fairly estimate that they cut themselves off tecnology was better than it is in their village, and america was heavily explored and populated. the idea that there were these undiscovered beasts floating around is not much more likely then than it is now. this is a major reason that bigfoot seems unlikly, that you require a certain minimum breeding stock, and a group of large animails in populations like that would be discovered. There are only a handful, a very small number of rinos (fewer than an adequate breeding stock) living in borneo, and they live deep in the forest and away from people, yet even they get seen from time to time. Further, i think twist endings only work (certainly i think m.night thinks this) when they are foreshadowed. and i think the major foreshadowing of this ending is the elder's description of the outside world. multiple people, idoits, told me they realised the ending at this point because 'cities wern't that bad back then, the elders were describing crime in modern cities' i actually think these people got it right, i think that is what night was doing, but it is bullshit. the estimated start time of this colony is basically the time of the civil war. things were certianly that bad at that time.
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part 3 on sat the 14th and 4 on sun. did you know that largest possible number of Friday the 13ths in a given year is 3, and that this will occur this year?
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not talking about the watchmen, but one last thing: ozymandius was watching rambo ii. do you think the rambo series would have existed in a world where the us won vietnam? ok two last things. i loved the sence where laurie discovers manhatton is watching them have sex, then further discovers that he was working at the same time. this sence could only have been improved if instead he simulaniusly having sex with her while elsewhere he was drinking beer, eating corn chips and whatching the game.
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I hope they have a scary movie remake lined up for the next one. Maybe a Jaws remake, or Leprechaun in the Hood remake, or a remake of Shaun of the Dead.
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Comes out on 9-9-09. I love theme openings!
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It would've been funnier if he was masturbating somewhere else. Maybe to watching himself have sex?
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Anyone else getting really pumped about this tomorrow? Hey its two hours and being touted as MOVIE EVENT! So can I add the season premiere two hour movie event to my movie list?
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Your The Watchmen idea is better even if they did take it wholesale from the comic strip. Which furthers proves that that comic nerds should not be listen to in any way, shape or form.
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Opening Friday the 13th on November. What the fuck is that?
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I guess it's time to roll the sleeves up and get to work.
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Kurt Russell take to pad teh count.
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Watching a documentary about Jimmy Cameron and never knew that he was a dirty Kanuck. But he was a truck driver before he got into movies, SO maybe there's hope for me yet.
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He got started working for Corman. Who of the great directors didn't get started working under him?
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there has been one KR flick nobody seems to bring up and that's Kurt's 1980 Magnum Opus Used Cars.If you haven't seen it I would ask what the hell is wrong with you?Used Cars was my second time being in a movie. I was standing in crowd scene they filmed in Mesa AZ and the camera panned passed and caught me for like half a second.
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Someday I should go back and revist these movies I have not watched them in like 20 years.
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Never seen it. So what you wanna fight about?
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Last House on the Left, just because of Capone's final line about the movie. Saying about if you know you want to see this movie you know who you are.
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So I'm watching comedy central presents Tom Rhodes and he's pretty lame. Not funny really and kind of dumb. Bunch of weed jokes. So anyway he mentions the movie The Bridge??? Crazy, did not think that this bad stand up would pull something like that out of his ass, of course no one in the audience had heard of it. But I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and finish his half hour just because of that.
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I know a minute ago I said that I didn't know what to compare Tom Rhodes to but I know now. He's the love child between Tom Arnold and Jeremy Piven. Now imagine Tom Arnold telling you jokes only Jeremy Piven would find funny.
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Mitch Hedberg. So Jeremy Piven... he was in the original Cupid and PCU, I guess its ok if his a pussy douche now. Am excited they are bringing Cupid back, besides being maybe the first show to show off what music it was playing it was a pretty good show. Hopefully the remake will be as good.
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I guess the Watchmen people are expecting Watchmen to be on the shelves of blockbuster very shortly.
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What was the first? How many have you been a part of? Share, please!
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How fares the morn?
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It was another crowd scene. this time the movie was Billy Jack, filmed in yea olde home town of Prescott AZ. There's a flash of a women with long blond hair holding a one year year old. The kid, that's me. It ocures during the fight on the courthouse lawn.
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The lady and I watched One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest last night. She had never seen it. Forgot how well made that movie is. If only Tarantino had gotten the cast of crazies as his Inglorious Bastards. I would pay good money to see that movie. A sub-30 year old Danny De Vito with a flamethrower should be in every movie pre-80s.
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Which I still consider the best screenplay ever written. She said she didn't want to because she was judging it by the title (she thought it was going to have a bunch of Chinese people as the villains) and because it's noir.
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Meh its ok. I guess I don't get all the love for it. Its good yes, but meh. With that being said I just wrote a silly Fan Fiction piece for a contest around town which places Mario characters in a story that remotely is Chinatown.
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I've never been in a movie, but my friend was going to the high school were Election was shot. My brother was going to the high school where the baseball scene of A Kid In King Authors Court was filmed. He subsequently caught the actor kid from Rookie and American Pie making out with a chick from the school and threw golf balls at them. And my high school physics teacher was an extra in Meeting Joseph Black, but all he's scenes were cut. He said that Anthony Hopkins was an amazingly nice man who hung out with the crew while Brad Pitt was a jerk and stayed in his trailer the whole time and the girl was a bitch. Me myself I once drove past a filming of Army Wives?????
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Makes sense. they are plumbers and the movie does deal with the city's water getting drained.I have always loved Chinatown more than most people I think. It is partly because of my love for noir and how the movie basically modernizes the whole genre while maintaining its style, along with all the little subtleties and character studies.
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Innnnnnnnnteresting. Were you in the scene w/ the Big Hippy Lion or--?
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I have it and all-but, well you know. Different strokes. It DOES give Higgins a good sized role though, so am happy w/ that.
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I will admit.
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I don't know if you read All Star Superman or not (if not, go get both trades right FUCKIN NOW) but Morrison and Quitely are re-collaborating again on a reboot of the Batman and Robin comic. I don't know about you, but for me, that is very exciting news.
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I was confused that it wasn't a reboot so much as 'here's Supes with ten years of continuity you'll never know', but it is very well-written.
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Yeah I know I need to read it. I need to put aside some money to get it. Have you been reading Spidermen or X-Men Noir? I am reading X-Men. I guess Wolverine and Daredevil are getting their own noir series. Also the main character in my Mario Chinatown take was Toad as Jack's character, with DK as his partner.
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ya the reason Billy Jack kicks ass is because of the tenth of a second flash of me as a toddeler. I'm going to take all the credit for how cool the movie is. Unfortunantly there were no giant lions the day of filming...
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That annoying little scrunt-fuck? I have Toad issues. His animated voice is like having a coat-hanger covered in shit shoved down your throat.
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What sort of crazy set is this?
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Cloves in my story. I added in some sounds that he would make. My lady friend was like, what the hell is that?
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And I should be seeing the movie later tonight. I was a little dissapointed with the ending of the comic, mainly because it was an awesome character set up that would have made for a very interesting ongoing series, but Moore was like fuck that I'm putting an end to it.
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it's very simple Giant Lions=top notch quality. The only thing that could be considered on par with the Giant Lion is a Zombi-were-elephant.
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That will make me happy.
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I'm off like a prom dress.
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Let's Get AVATARD
LET'S GET AVATARD IN HERE -
More as it comes.
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Stop trashing my set.
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Isn't that movie with the old guys? Whats all this lion hoo haw about?
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Says scared adolescent.
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Mar 15, 2009 9:23:27 PM CDT
Bale doing a fucking romantic comedy? Finally.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
http://tinyurl.com/clb87f
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Took my father to see it. He really really enjoyed it and said he'll probably take his girlfriend to see it. I enjoyed it much more the second time. Also I believe the comparisons between the prison fight and the hallway fight in "Oldboy" are unfounded.
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I agree with you on the Oldboy comparison. Where the fuck did that even come from from? One or two people versus several in a contained setting. That's about it.
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Mar 15, 2009 9:31:47 PM CDT
I saw Watchmen last night. I fucking loved it.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Prison fight and Oldboy? Anyone claiming that is fucking retarded. They look or feel nothing alike. So every scene in a movie where people fuck up a group of people is now just like Oldboy? I'm getting tired of Asia being considered the only continent that produces memorable fight scenes. FUCK THAT.
A lot of shit surprised me about Watchmen. First off, the big blue flopping dick. Its barely in it. What was it in like 5 shots? There were about 15 shots where they cut right before it would come into frame. Stupid complaint. -
What the fuck? That guy was perfect for the role. He played the end scenes very well. He's a smug prick that thinks he's God and thats exactly how the dude played it.
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Mar 15, 2009 9:38:07 PM CDT
It really is like people saw a different movie.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
The sex scene was perfectly fine. Hearing people whine about the song choice? The song worked fine, the flame thrower pop shot was comical and the joke worked. My entire audience laughed. It seems people were ready to hate this movie more than most. I poked fun at it, but had no agenda to dislike it. Before this Snyder was a fucking hack, but he proved he can make an actual film with a story and grown up moments. I really really liked the fact they were all non-celebrity type actors. It was such a breath of fresh air to not have to stare at George Clooney, Will Smith, or Matt "Downs Syndrome Survivor" Damon for 3 fucking hours.
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Well, just the pilot episodes anyway.
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KungFu you're right. Also, the Oldboy fight was one long continuos take tracking from left to the right. The prison fight had a lot of cuts and slo mo and many different setups. There wasn't a tracking side shot that lasted more than a second.
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And Danny loved Watchmen? Unexpected and hilarious! But yeah, I agree that the blue wang isn't in it as much as some people would have you think. I think those pple just have penile issues to begin with or something.
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Mar 15, 2009 9:48:37 PM CDT
It was probably my most honest viewing of a film....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...in recent years. I really had absolutely no agenda or preconceived notions going in. I thought the opening credits were disappointing because everyone has been raving about them. They were just kinda boring and didn't do much for me. And I thought Simon and Garfunkel's "Sound of Silence" would have worked much better than the Dylan song for an opener. But fuck man....it really impressed me. The whole sequence with Manhattan's flashbacks-- masterfully edited. Thats one thing that real stood out to me, the editing was top fucking notch. And I thought Night Owl was the real star, not Rorschach.
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Mar 15, 2009 9:49:56 PM CDT
I should have said "Most honest viewing of a blockbuster....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...type film in the theater," not just any film in general.
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A nerdy, geeky, unsure-of-himself boyscout that dons a costume and becomes a total badass. Good character. But unfortunately, he's overshadowed by Rorshach. Who is, quite frankly, friggin' awesome. I gotta say, his final scene, I started tearing up a lil bit.
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My friend didn't like the choice, thinking it too obvious a choice, telling the audience to "FEEL BAD! ITS A FUNERAL!" I, however, found it to be ironic. Here's a very sad and somber song playing over scenes of a very dramatic and depressing funeral for an "American hero". But the hero is a raping, murdering sociopath. I thought it was quite ironic. My friend pointed out the song was written in response to the JFK assassination, and in light of the Comedian's role in that event, the song works even more. I thought the Dylan song in the opening credits was a great choice. I really enjoyed how most of the shots were staged like a frozen still life image but with a moving camera. Then you'd see someone move ever so slightly and I wondered if it was extreme slo-mo or just very good mannequin mocking.
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Mar 15, 2009 10:02:02 PM CDT
I like Rorshach a lot, but I just felt like Night Owl was strong
by dannyglovers_dickblood
It felt like I was in the world with Night Owl. Like I was sort of seeing his resurrection and fall and the world sort of struck me as being from his perspective. Rorschach is just a flat line throughout. No change. But I did really feel for him. Night Owl is just the most normal human being other than Silk. But the moments with them were fucking fantastic. Going to dinner and inviting her over to his place and all that. Very well done. I always know a character/emotional connection is a success when I would have no problem seeing the next hour of the film just about them, no action, no super heroes. Very good. Oh yeah-- and I laughed hysterically at most of The Comedian. There might be something wrong with me. My friend and I were just busting up when he started unloading on the crowd and then spoke of the American dream. Awwww shit. What was that last line he said to Manhattan in the bar in Saigon?
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The lesbians dead in bed.....who killed them? There were other details I was unclear about but I forget. I think that stuff is some lost in translation to non comic fans. The images meant nothing to me really. And the rest of the film is so jam packed with potent imagery.....I dunno. The opening just felt lacking. I would have preferred no opening sequence and just go straight into Comedian getting fucked up.
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And the feeling of the era was odd to me. Everyone was raving about how authentically 80s it was-- but it didn't even feel 80s. And barely any of the source music is 80s. I would have liked to have seen some more obvious 80s fashion and music on the radio and shit.
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Yeah he's great. A friend of mine saw it today too and called me after. He hadn't read the book and said by the end he felt strange because he liked The Comedian so much. Its like yeah, here's a very charismatic and funny guy, and he's an American hero too! But oh wait, he rapes and murders and has killed kids and is generally an asshole... is that still ok? I like that that sorta "is it right to like this guy or agree with this idea?" is prevalent throughout the story when it comes to the characters and plot outcome.
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so to risk sounding like a broken record, I just gotta say I wished more people would have paid more attention to the relationship between Manhattan, Ozy, and the Comedian. I considered them the three most important characters in the book, and still think that stands in the movie. Nite Owl and Rorschach are more like differing perspectives from the more human POV. Their characters still work great, but I didn't really see anything special there.The sex scene isn't necessarily bad to me. Just totally superfluous. And kinda stupid. The song pulled me right out of it. It felt like a gag in a Will Ferrel movie.The opening credits work even better if you've read the book. There's all these supplemental passages and articles about the heroes that came before them, and the opening credits basically took all of that, enhanced it visually, matched it with a song that thematically mirrored the events, and even added some stuff on that was merely alluded to in the book. It is the one case where the movie actually surpassed the book in my opinion.
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"YOU BASTARD!" with that funny accent right before he fucks Comedian's shit up. Awesome moment.
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Yeah I loved how he hit that guy in the alley straight in the chest with a smoke grenade. "No, Comedian, please!" I heard him cry. As for the last thing he said to Manhattan in Saigon, it was something like this: "Blake, she was pregnant. And you gunned her down." "Yeah and you just stood there. You could have moved her or turned the bullets into steam or the bottle into a sno-cone but you DIDNT. You don't really give a damn about humanity. You're slipping, Doc. God help us all."
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And that further adds to my sentiment that to a non-reader the entire opening sequence pretty much means nothing.
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Wasn't supposed to be killed by anyone important. Rorscach has that throwaway line about how she was the victim of her own indecency. The whole point was that she dressed up in that kinky outfit bc she was a lesbian and into that sorta thing. I liked that the credits showed the rise and fall of the costumed hero. They either got gunned down, murdered, retired, or sent to the looney bin.
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Fucking hilarious. The nerve of a guy that just smokes a chick he knocked up and then acts like all of humanity is falling apart. Disturbingly funny.
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was always my favorite character too. He's just a very fucked up person with a pretty honest perspective on his own fucked up planet. In the end I think he is the most affective because of his flaws and his humanity.
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Yeah, the lyrics match with what we see onscreen, so what, you wanna fight about it? It was my favorite song in the film. Well, that and the Mozart piece at the end as Dan and Laurie walk out of Karnak.
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I didn't feel like I really saw the rise and fall of the superhero. The public feel about masked heroes never really feels well defined. We see that protest and hear the news reports, but the people in the fire gladly accept their help rightly so....and it just feels like they could go kick ass and save the day and most people wouldn't have a problem with it. And not enough info on the act to outlaw them. Should have been a news report where we see the masked heroes in the audience at the capital or some shit. Should have been more Civil Rights era sort of imagery of them fighting for their rights. Didn't feel any of that.
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"Ya know if we didn't win in Vietnam, we may have all gone crazy. As a country gone crazy." A tad ironic coming from someone living the American dream.
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Mar 15, 2009 10:21:09 PM CDT
Hendrix song? Really? Oh fuck that was miserable.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
It was loud, completely out place emotionally, and went on for too fucking long. Should have faded much earlier. Just felt weird and I kept wondering what the fuck? Isn't this the 80s? Make it feel like the fucking 80s once in awhile.
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Mar 15, 2009 10:24:28 PM CDT
Kung-- why would Comedian be one of the most important?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Other than the fact that his death kicks everything in motion. But it seems like it could be any hero.
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because it's mostly glossed over in the book as well. Besides the riot control via Nite Owl and the Comedian, you don't see much of any of it. The parts they cover involving the heroes are important because they present other issues as the time progresses. The Black Widow was a perfect example. The shot of her strutting down the street and openly kissing her lover at the end of World War I says a lot about not only the influence the heroes had in the war, but also the rise in the battle for gay rights. The shot of her and her lover dead addresses the multiple conspiracies against the superheroes as well as the prejudice still present in their times.
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We see costumed heroes as the darling of the media, posing for pictures, busting up crime rings, Sally Jupiter as a sex object. Then we see American history mirroring the very positive growth of the superhero- Manhattan shaking hands with JFK, men landing on the moon, etc. Then, the superhero starts to fall just as America and the world starts getting fucked up. A hero gets his cape stuck in a revolving door and is gunned down. Another hero is murdered for being gay, another is certifiably insane. And we see JFK getting assassinated, hippy protesters gunned down by the military, nuclear armament growing. Eventually, at the end of the credits, we see that the public is in an outrage. Over superheroes? We don't know. Over Vietnam? The state of the country in general? Probably. But the montage has intertwined the history of the hero with the history of America so well that it could be a response to either. Then later in the movie, we see the riot scene in response to the heroes. Which happened, let's say, 10 years before the fire rescue. Plus, those pple were in a fire. I doubt they'd reject help just bc its coming from a mask. But I agree- some more info on the Keane Act banning vigilantes would have been good.
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Song was in the book, however, as a chapter title. Its one of my favorite songs so that's why I appreciated it so much.
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How could it have been any hero?
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Like so many past films have done. Bc its overuse in that context in the past, I sorta felt like Nite Owl and Rorscach were going off to war in their Owlship instead of a chopper.
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Mar 15, 2009 10:31:02 PM CDT
Thats far too convoluted for a non-reader to grasp....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
I like the idea of American history mirroring the growth of the superhero. And when shit gets bad-- the heroes are basically the only ones left to get mad at. But that is very very unclear. It feels like absolutely random images that look cool. I was discussing the film with a few friends that I didn't see it with, and they were all equally perplexed by some of the opening images. One of them agreed the opening was the only scene she didn't like.
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Going off the film, The Comedian could have been any random hero that was one of their partners. story wise we didn't even need to see many flashbacks about him, he could have been more mysterious. Of course Laurie/Father reveal puts her over the edge emotionally, but that could have easily been written out. Nothing with him HAD to happen for the rest of the story to exist. So I dont understand how you feel he is one of the most important characters. Ozy and Manhattan, yeah I get it. Without them-- there is no story.
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I don't recall, but I think (in the book) the riots were occurring because the police had gone on strike and the public was outraged, blaming the heroes for pushing aside the police. I don't know. I guess that bit would be a little confusing for the nonreading audience. The important thing to glean from that is that the heroes didn't willingly retire- they were forced into it by the government.
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Well that definitely applies to every bit of CG slow mo action porn Snyder decided to insert into the movie that was never there before.
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In the grasping of the superhero psyche sense? You've got Manhattan, a hero so super he can't relate to the people he's saving. So he disconnects. You've got Ozy, a hero so smart and powerful and who wants to save humanity so badly. So he does it by doing something so horrendous its beyond belief. He basically sells his soul to save the world. And then you have the Comedian, a hero who saves people and fights crime, but who also understands that it doesn't matter when it comes to the big picture- that man is savage, always has been and always will be, and that heroes will never and can never change that. So he becomes a mirror of humanity demonstrating their capability for both good and evil.
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Mar 15, 2009 10:39:30 PM CDT
And that could have been handled much better.....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Mar 15, 2009 10:40:48 PM CDT
I meant the opening could have. Not Comedian. He was the tits.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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the trailer wouldn't have looked nearly as cool and the film would have made a whole lot less. People love that shit, and it puts asses in seats.
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Mar 15, 2009 10:43:16 PM CDT
I agree, a news report or something to show the rising anger
by d.vader
Would have helped out a whole lot when it comes to the riots.
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Nope. Wouldn't have worked. That's actually the whole reason Manhattan even leaves Mars and goes back to Earth. Doc realizes that the chances of such a bastard that beat her mom and almost raped her would later form a stronger relationship and conceive a child (Laurie) was in his opinion a miracle. It restores, if only for a moment, his fascination with the human race, and convinces him he needs to help her.The Comedian's other flashbacks are important because they represent the guilt of a man that could have made choices, and possibly even made a better future, but didn't. The entire setting of the main plot wouldn't have been how it was if not for him. The Comedian is really like Ozy in a way. They both realized the nature of their times and the lengths they had to go to change it. They differed in how they chose to deal with their respective times.The claim that it could have just been any other hero still makes no sense at all. Like who? How would it have made the same impact? Are you suggesting a completely different character could have worked and said the same things he did? If so, I probably disagree.
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Thanks dude
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How do you get someone who knows nothing of "Watchmen" to become interested in a film where pple dress in ridiculous costumes? Show some cool looking shots and add in some slow-motion.
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Mar 15, 2009 10:48:01 PM CDT
The trailer is mainly iconic images lifted from the comic
by kungfuhustler84
That were reshot for the film, i.e. Manhattan revealing himself in his superhero reincarnation, the Owlship emerging from the water, etc. There are plenty of movies that still sell regardless of slow mo action sequences.
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Comedian as her father could have easily been cut. It would have been the same film. There could have easily been some flashback moment of Manhattan's that makes him realize what it means to be human. And yes. I'm suggesting Comedian could have been a totally different character. He could have just been a guy we see in pictures and hear them speak about but only see at the beginning when he is killed. It wouldn't have been as cool cause The Comedian rocked. But it certainly could have still made sense as a film, and the only ones complaining would be the readers. My whole reason for bringing this up was to suggest he was more important to the story than Rorschach or Night Owl, and I totally disagree. Maybe he has a lot of weight thematically in the book, but he isn't vital to the film.
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Mar 15, 2009 10:50:14 PM CDT
This was one of the few films where the slomo worked....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....for me. I had no problem at all with it. It was used sparingly in appropriate moments.
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I didn't see many slow mo action sequences. I'm all for slowing down at times to preserve the imagery of the comic, but embellishing the story with five minute long fight scenes shot entirely with alternating slow mo cuts is just generic and boring to me.
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At the end when Rorshach and Nite Owl are approaching Karnak... Dan: "Y'know, this must be how ordinary people feel. This must be how ordinary people feel around us."
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Manhattan couldn't have flashbacks to make him realize he's human. That was the whole point. He was so aware of and omnipresent in time that no point of his past or person he knew could bring him back to a point of humanity. His realization that Comedian was her father and that it was a miracle was one of the most moving parts of the movie. Eh, I might as well be typing to a wall. Glad you liked it dude. I did too. I'm just a crotchety old fan of the book like you said. Who cares though. I'm sure I will be buying the three hour version in September or whenever it comes out.
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Cut all of the Comedian. Kill Adrian at the end. Cut Manhattan's flashback sequence. Add in more jokes. Make PG-13. Roll credits and watch the money roll in!
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the above post about only seeing Nite Owl kicking a guy is referring to the first trailer.
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I may even agree with it. I'm just saying for the average viewer....it could have still worked.
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I hear its July. And there's a chance the director's cut might get a theatrical release. I wonder if that's the director's cut (added material) or the DIRECTOR'S CUT (added material AND Black Freighter storyline animation).
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Mar 15, 2009 11:02:14 PM CDT
Snyder said it will get a digital projector only release....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...but it will have a release.
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Owl represents the scared human trying to be a hero, but really just wants to be admired. He's like if Robin had grown up, tried to be Batman, and figured out it wasn't for him. In the end, he really had little bearing in the movie outside of throwing a fit and punching Veidt a few times. He was purely a spectator. At least Rorschach dropped off his journal at the paper before he was killed. Nite Owl's character was essentially dumbed down, his arc lost all of its subtlety of the book, and the ending was changed so much that he pretty much didn't even need to be there.
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At least.
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Mar 15, 2009 11:09:35 PM CDT
Well if it weren't for Night Owl, I wouldn't have liked it....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
.....nearly as much, and I probably wouldn't have recommended it to people. So he put a couple more asses in seats.
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I think, for the sake of the film, Nite Owl was perhaps the most "human" and the one the audience can most easily relate to. So he does have more than a "little bearing" in the movie, because he sorta becomes the emotional center for the audience. He and Laurie are the most normal characters in the film. Its why Dan gets to see a character's death at the end and react, and its why he gets that cathartic beatdown of Adrian.
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There was already a real disconnect with humanity. I really didn't give a shit about the nuke going off and fucking up all those major cities because I didn't see any real people to care about. Dan and Laurie were the only ones, and they were obviously safe-- so the nukes really did nothing for me.
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I just think the same particularly human perspective was handles in the book with a little more grace.Danny, if you liked Owl the most, I would suggest checking out the book too. you might like it even more. It's not necessary of course, but his character gets fleshed out a bit more. There's a lot more with him and his mentor and working out the little things in life. Part of my problem with the movie was I felt they just didn't do his character justice in the movie.
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I got that he doesn't really understand his purpose, like so many of us. He feels there is some some of greater good he should be taking part in. To have the desire to be admired would suggest he is vain to a certain extent. I don't think he is at all.
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In the book you knew some bad shit was about to go down bc every chapter began or ended with the Doomsday Clock moving closer and closer to midnight, and by the end the page the Doomsday Clock is on starts filling up with blood dripping from above. That gave the book this real gripping sense of impending doom that the movie, unfortunately, lacked. Everyone kept talking about impending war and possible death and destruction, but I didn't *feel* that it was coming up soon like I did with the book.
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just less important than the Comedian to the story, in my opinion.
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Would have been fucking awesome. Though probably unintentionally hilarious.
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The book does a good job of establishing a lot of non-hero, very human characters to care about, so when the incident at the end finally occurs, you feel it a lot more.
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....the nukes didn't feel dangerous and I never really got a threatened/vulnerable feel like war was about to break out at any minute like I thought I should have. Could have used more news coverage about how real a threat nuclear war is. Thats one of those things lost to a generation not of the cold war. It doesn't really mean shit to you if you don't remember it. Nuclear war never once felt scary, and it kinda just came out of nowhere. And when it happened, the images of destruction were disappointing. The best nuke visual was in the dream when they are kissing.
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Mar 15, 2009 11:23:24 PM CDT
And human characters we get to know a bit, sprinkled thoughout..
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....would have added so much. Just a few minutes with each of them throughout the film. And then we are back with them when the nukes go off and its this very real documentary 9/11 sort of feel when the giant nuclear cloud comes tearing through the street or building or whatever. Would have added so much.
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Seriously, if you are feeling saucy, try out the book. It may not be for everybody, but from what you are talking about and asking for, you might like it.
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Mar 15, 2009 11:26:23 PM CDT
Having said all that. I still really fucking loved it.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Something abstract like the clock hanging in black space, camera dollying in slowly toward the clock as it ticks closer to midnight... then fade into the next scene... 3 of those spread out through the film could have been very effective.
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when we could all be watching DRAGON BALL!!?
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Mar 15, 2009 11:31:19 PM CDT
Dragon Ball-ZZZZ looks like a Power Rangers movie.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Looks pretty damn entertaining to me.
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I hear with that we'll get more of those secondary human characters whom we see perish at the end. Specifically, the newsstand guy and the teenager. Maybe some more with the psychiatrist too. And yeah, I think you'll really like the book if you liked the movie this much. Though we'll see how you feel about the squid. And that's something I noticed on this 2nd viewing too- the SQUID acronym cleverly hidden.
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and we plan to go. Our only criteria is we have to be some form of fucked up/not sober.
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Had the fucking trilogy planned out and everything. Shit coulda been epic.
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Mar 15, 2009 11:36:18 PM CDT
I can't see how the fuck the Squid makes any sense.....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....thats the odd part of seeing the movie first. I had no problem with the end and I read about the squid and it sounds fucking retarded. I will totally see Dragonball fucked up. Its looks hilarious.
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So maybe it will make sense to you when you read it. There's so much more intrigue and detail and buildup, so the Squid ends up making sense. But I'm interested in hearing the opinions of someone who liked the movie and then read the book.
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Damn that's unexpected and sad to hear.
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Having trouble logging in during the day now, I hear?
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I registered multiple handles and next thing I know I can't login with any of them.
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When I attended a showing of Crossfire once. They had the audience write in questions to ask afterward, and I sent in three questions about Time Cop....none of them were asked.
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OF course the one time of the weekend I'm not here everyone shows up. I'm like the A-bomb, I show up and boom! Everyone's dead. So my take on Watchmen. I fucking loved it. Feeling that I'm the closest in having finished and read the book and saw the movie. Literally I finished the book two hours before I saw the movie. I thought it was a damn good movie. The flaws I saw was little geeky shit, like Regan instead of Redford. But as a whole I thoroughly enjoyed it. That being said, this movie is totally inaccessible to non fans of the book, unless you are paying super attention.
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So I thought the music was fine, minus the cheesy lame ass music at the end. WOWY you like comics lets give you the end credits spot. They should've put Along the Watchtower over the credits. I did like the Everybody Wants to Rule the World, muzac in Veidt's office waiting room. My lady friend though hated the music, because it was too positive for what a downer of a movie it was. She said that none of the characters were likable. Also afterwords we wondered why there were no foreign heroes in the whole story? Anyone?
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I liked the way the made him in the film, though it does kind of answer my were are the foreign Heroes, because he was not American. He was like Hans. BUT to the fan boys, in the comic he looked like Captain America and should've been played by Matt Damon (Who I still believe will end up being Captain America). And I think Matt Damon would have given a more dramatic over the top performance. Also that fucking Tiger thing, they could have said one line about it in the beginning, that whole opening sequence is literally wasted on everyone that's never read the book.
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The Watchmen/Star Trek/T3 trailer combo is probably the greatest thing to ever cross the screen in the past 10 years. Those trailers are butt fucking amazing. I want to work for a trailer making company because they make the most watchable shit in movies, its so ridiculous. Anyone who knows Nick Swardson knows his bit about trailers and its so true.
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Lets face it the first half of the comic and book are the strongest. With chapter three being the best and it being good at first then skipping a bunch and not making much sense in the movie. I feel like the ending was stupid in both renderings. It almost feels like Moore didn't want to make a continuation of the characters and just had to end it and came up with this nonsense ending. Why would New York blowing up anyway bring the world together....ummmm its actually happened now and it didn't work. Would it be funny if someone found out that the 9-11 guys had been big fans of the Watchmen comic? Danny read the comic its worth it. Though if you read comics like I do it kind of pisses you off. This is because each comic is actually FUCKING long like 33 pages! It took me like a hour or so to read each chapter and take in the art. While most comics today I can read in under five minutes and cost 10 times as much. You finish reading an issue of Watchmen and you are like, why can't all comics at least try.
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I've missed the boat entirely with the Watchmen talkback. I'll have to do it face to face at the comic shop on Wen. Though glad to see Danny liked it and never read the comic, though it's probably because of the violence and the good acting. I don't get the complaints about the acting.
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Going on Saturday. I will say thay Veidt looks fucking awful from all the promos/pictures/trailers/leaked scenes... but that's what happens when you cast a young adult as the epitome of human achievement.
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If someone named BlueLando posts here, it's me. I registered that name as a precaution.
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This little talkback I could not help but participate in.
You will realize that the movie is better than the book.
The new movie that bale will star in will be Megaforce 2-where he will sidekick to Chuck Norris.
It will be a romantic lawyer type comedy/drama that will be ressurected in the third act by Seth Rogen's appearence as God.
Morgan Freeman will play The Devil on the Blue-Ray Director's Cut.
On a Personal Note:
Twitch talbackers will be sorely missed in this world but celebrated in Heaven.
DGB (AKA Danny blah blah) will be succumb to gangrene after his carpal tunnel syndrome potentiates with his generally pissy attitude into the Black Plague.
Jarv-who was lost is redeemed by the Bale-but is pepper-sprayed by local constabulary.
He choked to death on his own vomit.
Mr. Zed does actually sneak into Street Fighter-The Legend of Chun-Li and actually decodes the fact that the the entire movie is a setup for the forthcoming Part 3 of the Dan brown *Trilogy* whose most recent installment is angels and demons.
Spoiler below
It's actually aliens who who created the vatican and all that stuff...
-That is all
-MLB
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The fuck are you talking about? I'd pay to see Streetfighter - The Legend of Chun-Li. Nothing wrong with dumbhouse cinema.
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see- I fucking knew that would happen. If you hadn't read it, you'd like it. Re- The sex scene: apart from the fact that it was embarrasing, cliche'd shite I laid out what was wrong with the flame spurt above. I do not think I'd have had the same reaction if I hadn't read the funny book. This is now a turdmen free zone,
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No problemo - I intend to praise/destroy the film on MyMavra Sunday morning.
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Would be 101 but had drunkening to celebrate England's inexplicable win in the rugby and fell asleep in D-Tox.
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Like I said, I'm up to 31.
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Mar 16, 2009 4:06:09 AM CDT
A Note To Talkbackers About Merrick's Fourteen Year Old Son?
by mr. zeddemore
Anyone else laugh over this. Now people will mock further.
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Mar 16, 2009 4:21:41 AM CDT
So Danny liked "it that shall not be named"?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Makes sense because his taste is so completely off the wall it's always a surprise to see what he likes and dislikes. My "amazing" prediction about the BO for the flick seems to have come true. Nice big opening weekend and massive drop off. Awesome to see that Taken has done so well (US$127m). Great action flick that.
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Fantastic. One of the best action films in years.
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That's halfwitted.
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Only managed to squeeze one flick into the weekend in between alcohol and Resident Evil 5. Fever Pitch. It was okay. Not as good as High Fidelity or About A Boy and I didn't buy the 'Arsenal wins the league therefore the guy wins the girl' resolution at the end. Too easy. Still, fairly enjoyable. And Mark Strong is in it! WTF?
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I give kudos to you chaps for watching so many. Seven Nightmare flicks in two weeks was more than enough for me.
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but he went in almost completely cold, so most of the problems me and you had didn't apply to him. This is the only film I can think of where you absolutely should not read the book first. It'll be interesting to see what he thinks of the book if he reads it now. I think he'll hate it.
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and enjoying it for the most part. But it's just managed to cunt me off good and proper. You get all your weapons taken off you (which is fair enough), but what isn't fair is that they put a cunting Thing that can only be killed with fire between you and getting them back- and worse than that you need an Engineer to fix the door to get in to it. The only one around has fuck all health so he keeps getting pwnd. It's annoying me.
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The problems with the flick become more apparent and magnified when you've read the book. Plus the fact that its well-established in the book exactly how old Ozy is, while in the movie it's specifically ambiguous (because of the actor they cast I reckon).
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And it pissed me off very quickly. So I stopped playing it. Resident Evil is the only 'survival horror' series I seem to have the patience to play.
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Aside from the insane fuse box fetish, and the annoying 'test someone. Walk through a door. They become The Thing' angle, it's good.
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specifically because you have to gun them down and then set them on fire, then wait for the fire to die down so they can spew some mini things, gun them down and set them on fire again. Annoying.
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Mar 16, 2009 4:47:16 AM CDT
A surprising weekend in British sport
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
The Poms beat the Frogs. Man U got thumped by the Pudlians. Fulham won! The only result of no surprise is the Windies thumping the Poms in the cricket.
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Lost opportunity, there. Should've been a lot better. Really wasted Robert Englund.
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Seen it once a long long time ago. Remember it being really good. Don't think I've seen all the Nightmares.
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I rank 1 and 3 as the best. New Nightmare is okay. 6 has some fun scenes, but falls apart after 45 minutes. I'll expand on these during the big review I'm doing for MyMavra. My feelings on 2 and 4 are... I think 'angry as fuck' sums them up.
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Renny Fuckin' Harlin! Looks very shitty (and also a rip off of Die Hard 3), but it's Renny so it will be genius.
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ANOES Part IV: Dream Master was fucking batshit insane.
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Is fucking brilliant. I watched it for the a few years ago for the first time since I was a kid and it still scared the shit out of me. The kind of became a joke after that. New Nightmare kind of took it back to 'taking it seriously' territory.
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If you watch them in order, 3 is gi-fucking-normously good compared to 2. The franchise falls apart after that.
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Mar 16, 2009 5:11:01 AM CDT
Renny Harlin is an insane genius
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
FACT!
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I'm with you on the insane part.
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Mar 16, 2009 5:14:10 AM CDT
I think 3 and 4 are the ones I haven't seen.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
So I can't comment. I might do the series one day.
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Watch 1, 3 and New Nightmare. They form an unofficial trilogy. The rest can be ignored - should be ignored.
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1>New>3>the rest. 2 and 5 are especially bad. The only good thing about 2 is the end.
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in a loony sort of way. That's the one with Head Pizza, isn't it? Oh, and Evil Dead was 100th film. He doesn't use the chainsaw in it. I wonder why I thought he did.
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Mostly because 2 was so fucking bad that 3 was Citizen Kane in comparison. New was better than 6, but 6 wasn't in negative 5 territory.
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"This is your brain on drugs" for example. Not that it's any good. It isn't
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6 in 3D as well! Both were shite. Never seen them since.
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The opening forty minutes is surprisingly well-developed, and then it goes to shit.
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Kincaid's relentless 'fuck you, Freddy' bits of dialogue are absolutely hilarious.
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RUBBISH.
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Punisher. And it really isn't bad at all. It gets a lot of unmerited stick- but what is cool is that there is exactly 0 CGI shots in it. Everything was done practically. Just for that it should get more kudos than it gets.
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You have to see where I come from. I watched 2, easily the worst horror film I've ever seen, before 3. Ergo, while 3 may not be a classic on its own terms, it is a classic when compared to that piece of shit 2.
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What sunk the film for me was the unforgivable attempt at comedy when he was fighting that big, blonde (i think) guy in his apartment. My memory of it is the whole scene is done in an almost slapstick way, with Funniest Home Video style sound effects like DOING! when he gets hit. Weird. Or is my memory completely warped?
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But you can blame Gareth Ennis for that.
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Mar 16, 2009 6:14:52 AM CDT
Doesn't Freddie have stretchy arms in 1?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
There is at least a scene where he has really long arms and he's scraping the knives along the walls of an alley or somesuch.
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But nothing beats the ass that is 'Freddy's long tongue' in New Nightmare. Or that creepy fucking kid who pulls a Nicholson and is creepy BEFORE he's meant to be acting creepy.
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I thin 3 is second best, then New. Then the rest.
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whatshername is trying to pull him into the real world.
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Even if I hated 'New' (which I don't, it's just not quite what I thought it could be), 2-4-5-6 is just shite. 4-5-6 especially is the worst run I've seen in any franchise.
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as is Carpet snake Freddie. FvJ is an abomination of shitness that wastes Katherine Isabella and does not exist in this dojo.
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That insanely shit bit where he's 'recruited' by the dream demons. Fuck, that was one of the worst things I have EVER seen in a film.
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After I review Nightmare, and watch/review Friday The 13th, I'm ending with that. Urgh, the thought makes me ill.
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Fucking awful.
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really, really awful shit.
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Mar 16, 2009 6:54:09 AM CDT
Evil Dead 4 after Spidey 4 for Raimi?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Don't know what to think of that. A bit apprehensive about a 4th ED.
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"What we saw tonight was a masterpiece of American Horror to the Planet Earth!" What a dickhead.
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4th part of series= shit with one glorious exception: Lep in space. Die Hard 4= meh
Indy 4= shit
4th Star Wars= shit 4th Superman= shit4th Batman=shit4th Haloween= shit4th Friday=shit 4th Nightmare=shit And so forth. -
Although I don't mind DH4 and Indy 4 (not to incite a riot).
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That was a laugh.
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Lep in Space. Die Hard, Rocky and Indy are Meh.
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His speech at the end is a classic.
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He stands up to fucking Communism?!?!?!?!
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Lethal Weapon and Alien.
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That is a true 'holy shit' bit of dialogue. How the fuck did they get THAT greenlit?
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Mar 16, 2009 7:25:25 AM CDT
The Sum of All Fears was a 4th which I like
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Also, Rambo was a 4th (although I didn't like it, many people did)
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It was okay.
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Mar 16, 2009 7:28:27 AM CDT
The speech that unified the world!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
"During this fight, I've seen a lot of changing, in the way you feel about me, and in the way I feel about you. In here, there were two guys killing each other, but I guess that's better than twenty million. I guess what I'm trying to say, is that if I can change, and you can change, everybody can change!"
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I haven't seen it in Yonks and may need to rewatch it.
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and I quite like Alien 4, but am probably alone in the world in this.
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...This dude is like the tenth most notorious criminal. Maybe. Jesus dude, get it right.
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Mar 16, 2009 7:46:06 AM CDT
Danny liked Watchmen and Jarv agrees with me about TJ Punisher
by hawaiian organ donor
Has the world gone upside down?I'm up to 35 or so movies. Watched Slumdog again with the wife and sister in law. Found a version with Korean subs. It still holds up wonderfully.And was very surprised to see how much I enjoyed Quantum of Solace. A James Bond movie that didn't feel like a James Bond movie and it was all the better for it. The best villain since Goldeneye and the best Bond girl in over 2 decades.So there's an amazing new trailer for Terminator out but no mention of it on this site.
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no other way to describe it. Sum of all Fears is crap.
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Quantum of ass. Made even bore laughable by the fact that Taken does the 'rogue bad-ass kicking ass' approach ten thousand times better. Liam Neeson would've made a great Bond back in the day.
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... Apollo could've thrown in the towel at any time. Or had someone else throw it in. That he carried on fighting was fucking ridiculous - it sure as Hell doesn't make Dolph the bad guy.
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Mar 16, 2009 7:58:11 AM CDT
The T4 trailer got pimped on here a few weeks ago
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
It does look pretty decent, even if there is about one line of dialogue that Bale doesn't scream. That and the Star Trek trailer have mystified me enough to actually have a little interest.
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There's one ridiculous shot of a Terminator that's so awesome I yelled 'WHAT THE FUCK?' at the TV.
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I agree. Taken is way better. And it's gotta be a shit Bond if they're comparable.
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and the sympathy grab of him trying getting killed when he shouldn't have been in the ring was what makes it meh.
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I don't think it's actually Drago killing Apollo that makes him the bad guy, it's the remorseless way he does it.
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A boxer's never fought on passed his prime?
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is that they just don't feel like bond movies. They aren't bad, per se, but they ain't bond.
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I agree that a boxer fighting on has basis in fact- but it was an exhibition that he lobbied for. He was almost asking for it.
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Mar 16, 2009 8:09:25 AM CDT
I don't think it was a sympathy grab
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
It was an immediate way to establish the villian and give Rocky a reason to get involved. If it had been a random fighter it would mean nothing.
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just do not care. Not one little bit. I don't slobber on the cock of Bale, can't stand Mcg and every story detail I've heard so far is crap. Star Trek? Well, I've come to the conclusion that it's just not for me.
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Just a current Bond. The Brosnan Bonds felt increasingly antiquated (although I love Goldeneye). CR updated Bond to current sensibilities, while still touching on what we know as classic Bond. QoS is just a shit movie, Bond or not.
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Mar 16, 2009 8:17:54 AM CDT
Yeah, I've zero interest in Star Trek before...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I've always thought it was boring and lame. But that trailer has me interested. Maybe I'll give it a go. I don't mind being proven wrong. Same goes for T4. Being interested in T4 doesn't automatically mean you "slobber on the cock of Bale".
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Just the reasons that I keep seeing here for it are all Bale-centric. I'm not that fussed about him, and hate almost everything else about it, therefore I don't care at all.
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the rest were awful. Some of the worst in the series.
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OK then. I'll refrain from mentioning QoS ever again. I just thought it was a refreshing change from cloaking Astin Martins and groan inducing sexual innuendo.I find it staggering that worldwide Taken is the top grossing movie of the year. Good to see it being justly rewarded.
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Mar 16, 2009 8:36:31 AM CDT
I don't think Bale is a game-changer
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
To be honest, he's probably more DIS-TRACT-ING as Connor than anything else. Might've preferred Worthington as Connor. Don't know enough about the story to pass judgement on that. All I know is from the trailers. The last one did make it look like a post-apoc Transformers flick, but I'm okay with that.
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That's just my opinion. There are loads of people here that like QoS. I'd never say 'Don't mention it' unless you were bringing the funnybook adaptation 'that which can't be named'.
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And it got its ass handed to it by Twilight. And they need to make Jimmy Carr, Q, in the next one.
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Great flick. Only one thing I'd change. Drop the singer subplot. Just have his previous CIA (or whatever it was) life alluded to, then when she calls him from paris, it's a surprise that he's a highly skilled bad ass.
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He is just terrible. I mean all of his other movies sucked, Stranger Then Fiction was one of the worst movies I'd seen in a long time, and raping kids life's in real life and in a movie is pretty weak.
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Which is never a good sign with Bond.
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I liked that actually. But then again I liked LethalWeapon 4 as well.
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Drag me to Hell, I don't think its going to be good as they say it is...isn't it fucking PG-13?
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overexposed, undertalented cunt.
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PG13? fuck that.
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Mar 16, 2009 8:55:06 AM CDT
What we saw tonight was a masterpiece of American Horror to the
by series7
REally?
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And if not Jimmy Carr, then who? Also pretty much to be a useful famous comedian you need to be over exposed, otherwise you end up like Bill Hicks who no one knows about until they are dead.
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Has a WWE movie coming out here soon, starring John Cena and Stephan Rea???? Yeah I haven't heard of it either.
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bets on Spiderman 4 blowing?
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A fucking Marvel movie? Or is taking 600+ comics of backlog and story too heard for the one comic one movie guy? I'm out.
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simple as that. And Jimmy Carr shoud fuck off to his natural home: hosting Have I Got News For You until the inevitable taboid bust with a hooker and a mountain of charlie.
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I'm glad there wasn't a Q or all those tacky devices. My only quibble was the ending at the hotel. I'm not sure why Bond always has to infiltrate the villain's lair which is always a series of catwalks and things that explode.I really disliked Casino Royale but watching it back to back with QoS might actually make it better for me.It looks like Script Girl is finally getting the treatment she deserves. Not even in the top ten.
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I thought he was just awful. His squealing like a bitch at the end didn't help either. Both Bond girls were hot though. I was actually pretty sad when the redhead got the oil on her. Damn was she fine.
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but Casino Royale is solid, clever entertainment that successfully modernized the Bond franchise. The pacing was perfect, the action was well choreographed, relistic yet daring, and the Bond girl is one of the few to actually make Bond act differently than he usually does (just fuckin' 'em).While I would say Casino is like a 9 out of 10 in my opinion, Quantum is like a 7. It has its moments, like the operahouse scene and the car chase, but was definitely lacking in comparison to its predecessor.
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Don't 'not' mention it. I dislike it, but I find the arguments why you (and Dan) dig it fascinating. It's just that I don't see the film the way you see it. No big.
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It's OK.
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Is awesome... up to the last half hour. Then it drops a bit.
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I can't even see him as the villain there - Apollo stupidly kept fighting. What was Drago meant to do, stop and yell 'He going die' at the top of his lungs?
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QoS 4/10 Goldeneye 9/10
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Maybe if Apollo hadn't tired himself out dancing with James Brown, he could've lasted a few more rounds.
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HAHAHAHAHA
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He does beat the bejeezus out of him when it's already clear Apollo's finished. But ultimately he becomes the villian when he shows no remorse afterwards, even taunting Rock by telling him Apollo was weak etc.
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True - but he isn't wrong. Apollo takes the fight so seriously he cuts a rug with James Brown.
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But really - you're fighting a brick shithouse. Surely your prep time doesn't include a couple minutes long dancing sequence.
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Apollo thought of it as an exhibition bout. A publicity stunt. So he didn't take it seriously. Then Drago started beating on him for real and Apollo wasn't prepared for it. Not that he stood a chance anyway.
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The problem with Bond villains is they either camp it up (Die Another Day) or they are not threatening at all (Jonathan Pryce). Dominic Greene hinted at being psychotic without overplaying it. Easily my favorite villain since Alec Trevalyn.
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Mar 16, 2009 10:07:45 AM CDT
Without Danny here, I'm alone on this sinking ship
by hawaiian organ donor
Even Toad disliked the movie. Apparently QoS is not endorsed by the CoC.When it comes to modern movies, I don't think I see eye to eye with anyone here. That's disheartening.
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I don't get the hatred for it. It was alright, nothing more, nothing less.
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Mar 16, 2009 10:12:34 AM CDT
I don't think anyone in the CoC completely agree
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
It would be disturbing (and boring) if they did.
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Okay - let's all list our top five films of the 2000s.
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and Tremors.
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That needs qualifying. Do you mean top American/ Top Summer etc.
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So I can't pass judgement. But I can't see me disliking it.
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I mean in general. Your five favourites from the whole decade. Foreign, summer, independant.
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Mar 16, 2009 10:36:10 AM CDT
Have there been five good enough movies in the 2000's?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I'd struggle.
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Course, I'd be going by flicks that entertained me.
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Mar 16, 2009 10:38:10 AM CDT
What about a Top 5 "So bad they're good" list?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
That'd be a fun list.
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I'll have to think about this for a bit. Lives of Others for certain- and 4 others.
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Flash Gordon, I refuse to acknowledge it's status as a properly "good" movieLeprechaun in Da Hood- this is a toss up between Lep in Space and this one, but I think rapping Warwick with Zombie Ho's just takes the gold. Hard Rock Zombies- the newest entry. I nearly ruptured something laughing when the dwarf ate himself Toxie. Gotta have some toxie. I'll have to think about the last one.
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I'd put Transformers top of that list. It's atrociously bad, but then goes through the loop to being fun. Mamma Mia too - so fucking cheesy it spins around the axis of the Earth to become hilariously naff.
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and think it's so bad it's actually bad.
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Between the group and I. Everyone here got behind The Dark Knight, Wall-E and either enjoyed or were indifferent towards Indy IV and Hellboy 2. I think we all know what my feelings on those films were.And while the group and I are in relative agreement over In Bruges and The Fall, most of the stuff I enjoyed last year is reviled by this group. I give you Hancock, The Mummy, Kung Fu Panda and Zohan as exhibit A. Mind you, save for Panda none of those other movies make my best of list, not eve close, but they entertained the hell out of me.
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Dan O'Bannon scripted patrick stewart chomping scenery, the most ludicrous space vampire story and a spectaculare performance from the fetchingly naked Ms. Mathilda May.
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it was me that gave it a big fat meh. Indy 4 also= meh.
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Hate. I hate it. HATE. Pure hatred. Garbage bag full of hate. Hatred from a box. HATE. Sorry... that film pissed me the fuck off big-time.
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Like with Kung Fu Panda, I walked out of that film. I think it was after they defeated the giant Tree God. The film had gone through the looking glass.
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Mar 16, 2009 11:03:41 AM CDT
So bad they're good... In no particular order
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Showgirls Hard Rain Point Break Commando Cobra
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Commando and Point break are GOOD films. Just because they're dumb action doesn't mean they're bad. Showgirls and Hard Rain qualify. Cobra goes either way.
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Hancock - really good first half. Absolute fucking horseshit second half. The Mummy - 3 I assume. Really badly directed which completely ruined it for me, despite the endzone dancing abominable snowmen thingamejigs. Kung Fu Panda - Fucking awful. And annoying. And I like Jack Black. I can't seem to handle any animation except for pixar. Zohan - Like sex with a fat chick. It's a great time in the dark, but you feel ashamed of yourself afterwards.
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Mar 16, 2009 11:12:44 AM CDT
Nah, I don't consider them good
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Especially Commando. They are incredibly stupid. I think Cobra would be a fucking awful flick if it wasn't so damned hilarious. Like when he cuts up his cold pizza with scissors!
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It is fucking hilariously awful. If you can't see the humour in Ahnuld's stunningly bad puns... damn. It's still a shit film, but there's a large amount of 'holy crap, A BAT CREDIT CARD?' amusement.
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it wasn't enjoyable- just painful.
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Cobra is a practical and houseproud man.Hilarious.
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It always struck me as people taking it way too fucking seriously. Hell, if you watch the evolution of the Batman films it was getting progressively broader - it's not like they made Burton's Batman, then jumped into a goofy flick.
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was one of the shittest and lamest things I've ever seen. Not as bad as the gold gobots that were the undefeatable army.
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Ya know, that would have insanely hilarious.
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Nice one, Jarv.
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That you cut with a flesh sword?
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Mar 16, 2009 11:28:50 AM CDT
Both Hellboys are lots of fun
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
And the market scene in 2 is fucking awesome.
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woeful.
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and it's OK. On a par with 2. Tj Punisher is way better than both of them
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Eh, I'm an old grouch. It was like the director wanted to show off his toys and what he could do, without saying 'why' he was doing it.
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They threw so much at the screen that it was like a serious Naked Gun film. 'Oh, that visual doesn't work... THROW ANOTHER ONE.'
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Yuck. It goes to show how subjective this all is. What makes Mr. Z laugh makes my skin crawl and vice versa.
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Note that I said laugh 'at', not with. I am not saying it's a 'good' film. I'm saying it entertains me.
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Mar 16, 2009 11:37:31 AM CDT
"Tj Punisher is way better than both of them"
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
You crazy, man. You crazy.
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I actually agree with you to some extent about Batman I was immune to it's alleged charms, I found it to be meh, along with Hellboy 2, which I wanted to like but couldn't. I never saw Wall E or the Panda movie but I don't usually watch carton movies unless they will get me into a broads pants. I sort of enjoyed Mummy3 and thought it was better then 2 but suffered in comparison to number 1. Didn't see nor do I want to Zohannow Droid, Point Blank stomps on exactly 136 differnt colons and is most definantly NOT a so bad it's good movie. It's just good.
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I'm interested in seeing. And believe me, my best of list will be ripped to shreds.1. Rambo - suck it haters. I understand it wasn't deep or meaningful but it was the most fun I've had with a movie in years.2. Red Cliff - John Woo is back baby.3. In Bruges - best damn dialogue all year.4. Speed Racer - suck on this one too haters. Not since Spider Man have I felt like a 10 year old at a movie.5. The Fall - most beautiful looking movie in years and I loved the relationship between the guy and girl.6. Kung Fu Panda - I hear you grinding your teeth.7. The Visitor - loved Jenkins and loved that closing shot.8. Slumdog Millionaire - go ahead and slam it for winning best picture, it was brilliant stuff from Boyle.9. Defiance - Tarantino wishes he could make killing Nazis this rousing.10. (tie) Quantum of Solace and Frost/Nixon - I hate ties but I couldn't pick one over the other. I've already stated my case for QoS. Frost/Nixon was the most riveting entertainment of the year with the most underrated performances.So there, my contentious list for everyone to give the finger to. Considering everything I left off the list, I still say 2008 is a much better year than people think.
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Does thou refer to Point Break or the Lee Marvin flick? I was referring to the Bodie-rific surfer flick, dude.
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I agree with 1 of those. In Bruges was my numero uno of 2008. A couple of others are decent. Most I REALLY disagree with. Rambo, Speed Racer and KFP especially.
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Mar 16, 2009 11:49:50 AM CDT
Haven't seen Red Cliff or The Fall
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
But what do you mean "John Woo is back"? He never left! Paycheck, baby! Also, I'll drop Point Break out of the top 5 'so bad they're good' in favor of th genius of Hard Target and the rattlesnake on a tripwire booby trap.
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but I can't even laugh at it.
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Both Point Blank and Point Break kick colons sky high. I meant Break though and I apologize. I bought Point Blank the other day and I'm not bright enough to keep the titles straight.
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Point Blank is the shit. As is Point Break.
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Most others will have Wall-E and The Dark Knight on their list.What can I say, it was just one of those years. A year of nostalgia for me. Rambo reminded me of 80s action, Speed Racer made me feel like a boy and QoS took me back to the days when a new Bond film was something to get excited about.
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still not seen it. Mrs. Jarv refuses to have it in the flat. Although turdmen is entirely her fault. She should let me see it.
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One mans trash is another mans art. I have love for Point Break. It's insanely enjoyable. I just don't classify it as a good flick.
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Hmm, tough. It was a very watchable year- with some crushing let downs. French Hulk stomps chinese Hulk.
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which is continuing into 2009- Seriously- Iron Man, TDK, Hellboy, Indy, Speed Racer etc have all been seriously overrated and so far Turdmen is carrying that trend on.
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Just realized I got THE HAMMER. How could I?Put that as a tie with In Bruges then.2008 just keeps getting better to me.And for fook's sake, I forgot The Good, The Bad, The Weird too. Jesus, to hell with my list. Too many great movies to track.
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Jarv, you bastard. How dare you bring up the cheese eating surrender monkeys Hulk at three minutes to five!
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CHINESE HULK STUPID PRETENTIOUS WANKFEST. HULK LOOK CONSTIPATED IN CHINESE HULK. CHINESE HULK SUCK ASS AND FIGHT INCOMPREHENSIBLE CLOUD THINGY. CHINESE HULK HAVE HULK DOGS. HULK NO SAY "HULK SMASH" IN PUNY CHINESE HULK.
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Good thing you mentioned the Hammer. I was about to rudely point out that you left it off the best of list. For my money it was the best film of 2008 that I saw. Granted I didn't see a whole lot but still it was great.
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I think we agree on more stuff than you think. I probably wouldn't have even joined the C of C in the first place if it weren't for all our talk about foreign films. The only ones that are on your list above that aren't on mine, besides Q of S, are probably only missing because I haven't seen them yet. I am DYING to see In Bruges too.
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by a factor of like 100.
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back to the shittiest job in the world, with the bosses I most would like to just bitch slap in the face. Catch you folks later.
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Or I'm a genius ahead of my time.The Incredible Hulk was one of my disappointments of the year. Something about it didn't entirely work for me. It was OK but not quite as good as the pre-release hype lead me to believe.2008 was definitely the year of disappointment.
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You sound EXACTLY like someone that would prefer Frenchies mongoloid Hulk to the Chinese chaps slightly intelligent Hulk. Well played, sir.
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WTF is the matter with the Japanese?http://tinyurl.com/dx5kkg
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When was this part of the movie? Was I getting popcorn?
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... I conducted a spoof experiment into whether the 7.6% in Bud Premier Select made it tastier than the 5% in normal Bud.
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Loved it of course. Those dudes are fucking crazy whack nuts.
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Rambo, Red Cliff, In Bruges, The Visitor...I loved all of those movies.Kung fu Panda was okay, even if blasphemous towards the great bear name...Haven't seen any of the others.
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I'll definitely check it out, though still probably not in theaters.
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and *poof*I'm gone.Fucking IT whores.
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I concur - the fine oak taste grates after a while.
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For the same reason you said, Jarv. Its all practical- no CGI- it doesn't try to be a big bad Michael Bay style action film. It reminds me of something from the 80s.
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Step away from the budwieser buddy, step away quickly.
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The Vinnnie barbarino bad guy sucked but overall a fairly entertaining movie and TJ was a good Frank Castle. Plus they used a high tech bow as an "assault weapon" which is cool.
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Done - having a Fosters instead. The Punisher is a real good flick. Especially Travolta's last moments. Ouch.
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Those beers tasted like ass.
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The fight with the Russian. Someone above thought it was too comical. I thought it was just the right tone. It was a brutal fight with some funny moments, but the classical music playing in the background is just such a strange juxtaposition you don't normally find in "action" films, that I ended up liking it immensely. I also really dig that "death song" the Johnny Cash assassin plays to TJ in the diner before their car chase. And c'mon! He kills the guy with a spring-loaded switchblade that shoots the blade straight into the guy's throat! And I too, like Xi, enjoy the fact that TJ uses a bow and arrow to dispatch the baddies.
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I liked that the villain was a creepy-ass bug-eyed fruitcake that ended up being no match (physically) for Bond. I liked the touchscreen Minority Report style computer table MI6 used. I loved Miss Strawberry Fields and wish she had been the Bond Girl instead. I liked that its a direct sequel to Casino Royale. I like that Giancarlo Giannini is in it again. I enjoyed it. BAM.
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Es no bueno going into the dance.At least Duke and UNC will lose during first two rounds and Pitt will choke in the typical Pitt fashion so Uconn should at least make the sweet 16. Fear the Sun Devils, fuck the Mild Kitties for gravy training thier way in on thier past YET again.
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Dook will lose in the first two rounds. UNC shall carry on with Ty Lawson back on point.
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It seems to be a very polarizing sort of movie. I tend to enjoy those kinds of movies.
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UNC is out in a second round with a loss by a large margin. They aren't that good.I really wouldn't worry about what i'm saying my brackets are usually busted by the end of the first weekend. Brackets aren't my strong point, but I'm right about UNC Duke and Pitt.
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It helps that I'm biased, being an alum, but UNC *is* that good when everyone's playing on top of their game. The only reason we didn't win the ACC tournament is because our point guard was out (resting for the big dance) and forward Danny Green missed like 11 shots. With Lawson back in, we'll still be a force to be reckoned with. And if Danny gets his game back- trust me we're going farther than 2 rounds.
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Who's with me? I'm filling mine out at ESPN right now. We can do there or Yahoo; have our own group. Any takers?
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There are only like four people here that like or watch college round ball and two of them are having a conversation about B Ball right now, that's you and I. The other two are HOD and JPT.
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I know you're a UNC grad that's why I could help but mess with you. Unfortunantly you're being to reasonable and didn't rise to the bait.
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Just say something like "UNC blows goats", or even worse, that Dook is the better team this year =).
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I see no reason to not look for more bragging rights just bc there's only 4 of us interested =).
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Have you seen the HBO show about the Duke UNC rivalry? It's pretty damn good.I was going to drop a Duke is better then UNC take on you but I had a great weekend and I'm in to good of a mood to be that cruel this morning.
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I'll email JPT and see if he's interested. With that I'm out and I'll comeback tonight and see if I have any info about it.Like i said above, i suck at picking brackets, so I'll be out at the end of the first weekend probably but I'll fill one out anways knowing I'll be losing miserably. Now Football on the other hand....
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Yeah I caught it with my girlfriend 2 weeks ago. Its good stuffy! I ended up learning a lot and getting a bit teary eyed at the same time. I was a bit disappointed they sort of glossed over recent history, but was okay with that since I learned more about both schools' pasts. I was also happily surprised to learn Liev Schriber did all the narration. He's got a good VO voice.
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But I generally have no one left by the Sweet Sixteen.
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I enjoyed both Taken and Watchmen.
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Plan was to go to the student cafe for food. Wound up in town drinking cocktail. Caught a bus that passed the same store twice - in my tipsy state, I was confused. Wound up at Uni through the magic of eventual approximation.
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I will probably be drunk and poor 24/7.
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That trailer for Thirst just reminded me Song Kang Ho is in The Good the Bad the Weird, which I have still yet to see. When the fuck are they gonna release that here?
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The guy that posted it says the same thing below the trailer
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Count me in.
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I saw the trailer this morning somewhere else and meant to post about it. I'm doing the same thing you did to Beaks- retreading.
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Mar 16, 2009 3:59:06 PM CDT
What is The Good, The Bad and The Weird?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Never heard of it. Recommend it to me, chaps!
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From what everyone here at AICN has said. I don't think it will ever get an American release, sadly, it seems.
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Shit, I've missed the past 2 episodes of the Ryloth saga. And the season finale is either this friday, or it just happened a few days ago. Either way, I just saw a clip for the finale, and they introduce a new character who looks to be a great design and character mixture of western cowboy archetypes and asian influences. He's a skinny Duros (those blue astronaut guys with red eyes in the Cantina scene) wearing ragged clothes but has one of those giant, rounded hats that covers almost all of his face. And he's a gunslinger. I do commend the Clone Wars cartoons for being able to take all those cultures and stories and ideas that influenced Lucas with his original "Star Wars" and being able to expand upon them in a way the movies couldn't.
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There are plenty of trailers for it up on youtube. Check one out, and prepare to be mad at Hollywood for never making something as cool looking.
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Mar 16, 2009 5:21:06 PM CDT
Okay. Just watched the trailer and my verdict is...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I need to see the fucking movie right fucking now. Looks awesome.
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OHHHHHH shit you missed Clone Wars!!! You piece of shit, you should go commit seppuku....dick.
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Its not a real sport, its a derivation of a lame ass women's sport. Cornell all the way!
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Thanks to the total move to digital the cable company made. Is there anywhere online i could watch the new Clone wars?
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And don't forget to watch Breaking Bad before I break you.
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Anyone seen this about this giant blue mustang by the Denver airport? I was watching something about it on the news about how people don't like it and how the creator said that this statue was going to be the death of me, and then they said well he was correct before he died before it was completed. Now he was old and you would think that he just died of old age but then the news lady goes on to say that actually he died when part of the unfinished statue actually fell on him!!! AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
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anyone else wonder why they changed Redford to Regan? It just seems like a stupid change.
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Movie fucking rocked. If not for TDK would have been my favorite super-hero film last year. Oh and Danny actually liking Watchmen has got to be the most surprising thing I've ever seen on here. Even more so than his TDK love and Indy 4 hatred. While I was watching it all I could think about was how he was going to tear it apart whenever he got around to seeing it.
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Boring. Bad ending. Logic gaps. I'm stunned by how that film was nearly two hours long and by the end none of the characters had learned anything.
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It was made so that there could be a joke on George w. Bush with the "Who wants a cowboy in the White House?" line.
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I had no idea the history behind it. I thought it was pretty freaking awesome.
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Not sure who came up with it, but the idea for the 'comic-book kid' from the comic-book to be watching a film in the film was brilliant.
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It was a Mess but I enjoyed it. No need to see it again though. Jarv-Jarv, actually that Plant-God thingie was the one part of Hellboy Too I liked. The movie had a bunch of decent scenes etc but just didn't add up to that much, despite Harold and Co's ravings at the time. The Goldbugs at the end should have gotten loose in the world-and led us onto part III where they wind up being confronted by _Bay and his Giant Robots. But that'd mean having things explode every 4.2 seconds and I don't think Del Toro goes there, unf. Never saw KungFoo Panda, might give it a whirl. I liked Hulk Too but that's another neverneedtoseeitagain job. I highly enjoyed the BankJob and will use the Jarv-Jarv recommendation and dig up In Bruges for viewing purposes. Am still waiting to see if Jay Cutler takes the role of Night Owl in the next Watchmen. You never know---
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in Bruges was a very good movie rent it and you'll see.
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I emailed JPT but it was later then I intended and with the three hour time differnce I probably won't hear from him until tomorrow.
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It didn't quite suck sleestak shit, but it ate dried goat balls.
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In Bruges was good - a bit over rated, but entertaining.
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Why get cable when I would only be watching like one or two things a week? I don't need or want cable anymore.
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I still don't get it? Was that line in the movie about no cowboy in the office?
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Allright, Xi, sounds good. HOD's in. I'm working allday tomorrow, so unless someone wants to go ahead and create a group somewhere, I'll work on that tomorrow night.
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And Fu I feel sorry for you not having cable. You are missing the three most important things in the arts right now: Clone Wars, Breaking Bad and Destroyed in Seconds.
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A bracket group for shits and giggles and just to get some numbers.
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Ha! Yeah, uh-huh.
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You are missing out on From Underdog to Wonderdog which Warms the shit out of my cockles of my heart.
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I still have like the first 15 channels I had before. All of the "BC's" or whatever.
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I'm confused by your last post. Are you asking me if that line I quoted was actually in the movie? If so, yes. I specifically remember it from the last screening. It went over my head the first time I saw it, as I concentrated more on the irony of the characters thinking it was dumb for Ronald Reagan to run for office. The second time I saw it, I latched onto their reasons "who wants a cowboy in the White House?", though admittedly, I am paraphrasing.
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Mar 16, 2009 10:06:28 PM CDT
Holy shit, SciFi Channel has the most obvious ripoff ever...
by d.vader
A film premieres saturday about the "last man on the planet" and it looks like he's fighting off zombie-type creatures. The title is "I AM OMEGA". Good god, could they be any more obvious?
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You won't believe the love and magic that is to be had with Destroyed In Seconds. And its a proven fact that since there is not a AICN weekly talkback for Breaking Bad means that it has to be an amazing show.
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Is that its the exact same like from the comic but in the comic its Robert Redford, and the joke is that who wants an Actor in office. At first they say R.R. and you are thinking Regan because Regan WAS in office when the NOVEL first came out. So why did they change it to actually SAY Regan in the movie, would people be to stupid to get the joke? Also they changed the percentage that Big Blue could stop, in the comic it was 60% and this was a good of enough percentile to stop the Russian's for firing. In the movie its like 90 or 99% and the few percent was good enough for the Russia's to fire and to scare America. Plus really after 9-11 doesn't the whole theory presented in the book just get totally disproved?
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Breaking Bad is on AMC Destroyed in Seconds is on The Discovery Channel Clone Wars is on Cartoon Network, and TNT is running the series now because...well because of the fucking obvious, TNT KNOWS DRAMA MOTHER FUCKER! And Drag Race is on the Logo Underdog to Wonderdog is on The Animal Planet. Anyone watch Kings yet?
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......yet he talks about Drag to Heck?
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You liked Handcock??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
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Mar 16, 2009 10:21:53 PM CDT
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
by series7
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
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Mar 16, 2009 10:22:37 PM CDT
???????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????
by series7
?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????
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mentally fucking retarded or were you only talking about the trailer? I think my head just exploded.
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I'll check Espn and yahoo and figure which one is easier for everybody to join. If anybody wants to get in on bracket email at Xiphos0311@yahoo so I can get a head count. Put something in the header about march madness or aicn so I know it's from here.
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Mar 16, 2009 11:06:52 PM CDT
That Cowboy in the White House joke was fucking retarded.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
I can't believe there are still people that find W. jokes humorous. That shit got stale in 2005.
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The End of America. And it feels kind of moot now that W. is dead.
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I got two first in one day. I'm one a fucking role. I'm watching Synecdoche, New York right now. What have you done with your life today?
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but I'm so fucking POOR.
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Mar 17, 2009 12:36:38 AM CDT
Jesus Christ I need to tit fuck something. I'm outta here.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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What do you like so much about this movie?
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I order something through fex ex and I was hoping it was going to come in today...and it came in on the 12 and some ass hole signed for it???? On the notes it said Delivered to address other than recipient???? What the fuck is that shit?
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I was going to buy it yesterday but they only had the blu-ray for 30 fucking dollars and unfortunately I'm broke.
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Is finally out of theaters....wheep.
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All of it.
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????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? Is about all I can say. I think the title should've been called Pretentious Douchebag the movie. That sounds like I hated it, I really didn't I mean I fucking stayed awake and sat through it all in one sitting, and it was kind of a boring movie. Like there was a lot in there that I probably just didn't get, for one the house on fire or the tattooing of the little girl? But yeah if the movie is suppose to be some little puzzle I don't feel the need to ever see the movie again. Mainly because the movie was just kind of boring and annoying, like half the dialog is just mumbled. I think the speech the priest gives at the end is the best summary of the film. That we are all just little people and our lives and misery doesn't matter any more then anyone else. Another grip PSH just seems hungover for the whole thing. ON a brighter note its good to see that Michelle Williams that is taking over were Gwyneth Paltrow left off nicely.
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I'm watching the special features and they mentioned using animals in the movie? I don't remember seeing a single animal in the movie? This movie is just so in love with being dedicated to being itself that its just not that inviting. It seems like if it was a party and I showed up they would be like, ohhh I'm sorry your not hip enough to come to this party.
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I don't think everyone involved with making this movie understood what the fuck was going on.
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Call it pretentious. i thought it was good filmmaking. Truthfully, I love that movie so much, I could give less than two shits out of a dead carcass what you thought of it. Comparing a movie to party is just a dumb analogy anyway. i get what you're saying, but then again, don't really give a fuck. It's getting a little obnoxious when a quiet cerebral movie can;t get made without being called "pretentious." I think it was more like Kaufman just trying to figure out why he was on this world.So there you go.
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Philosophy class, when one day we were being taught by a teacher who wrote the book we were reading out of, and he asked a question. Something like "what is being happy". I answered something really simple like enjoying your life and he said, "well that is correct, but you can't say it that simple." And then he went on to talk about Kant and how you must maximize the maxim of your being or some long winded shit like that. So we had the same answer just his was all fluffed up to confuse and make him seem smart, while what I said was the answer. This movie is like that, it decided to just take this illogical route to make things more difficult then they need to be in order for them to seem more important then they really are.
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your gripes about this movie don't even make sense. Why not just say you don't like it because you didn't get it? Saying people didn't understand it and all that is just nonsense. If you don't have any tangible criticism for a movie where i have plenty of solid things to praise, maybe we should stop discussing this movie.
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is just saying one thing with a single long winded answer. It's more like it's addressing a lot of these little facets of life that comprise the whole.
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Yeah the whole movie is summed up in that priest speech at the end. The rest of the movie was just 2 hours of fluff and self importance. Plus in these making of stuff they keep talking about how they wanted everything to feel absolutely real, I did not buy about half of this movie. I mainly blame the actresses for this because I Samantha Morton and Keeneer can't do the same thing in every film. I will say that Morton was a lot different in this film then what she usually is, and Ms. Ledger was just annoying.
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I didn't hate it, your missing that point and getting all flustered. Acting like you can't attack this movie because its untouchable. I just finished it like 10 minutes ago I'm trying to wrap my head around it.
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Hearing all these people talk, that it makes it just sound like it was about nothing except Caden's life and how shit just doesn't work out. I don't feel that the movie is as deep as it thinks it is, anything trying to act this hard that it has some deep meaning to say is always ultimately bullshit.
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I've heard just about enough bashing of my favorite movie of last year, especially since the bashing is mostly made of hot air and has virtually no grounding whatsoever. I was pretty sure it would get bashed by everyone on here. I just wish it hadn't come up on such a stressful week.Good night.
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It was just too short of a movie to get across all the points that Charlie was trying to make. And that genius grant he got I don't think would've paid for a fraction of all that was happening, but I know that's not the point.
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I'm trying to understand it. Your reaction to it makes me hate the movie even more. You can't really say anything positive about it. And these actors looking and acting more confused then me talking about the movie doesn't bod well with me either. This would've been better as a book.
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your criticism is just dumb to me and I don't care. So it's more like I'm bored.
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I already said why I liked it here on this site right after I saw it. Okay, leaving for real now. Toodles.
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Where people who like it are like, oh you just don't get it. But I do get it, its about this kind of a dick of a man who is a hypochondriac and live moves fast and its impossible to find true art. Fu you remind me of that guy on IMDB who couldn't explain why he had seen Inland Empire five times in a row and I was just stupid for not getting it. I just don't see the entertainment value of why I would ever want to sit through this again? God everyone is sucking Kaufman's dick in these interviews. This is like Forrest Gump for artsy people. Its movies like these that make me appreciate people like J. D. Salinger who have said that nothing in Catcher means anything its just a story.
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What you said when you saw it, and i remember it being very vague as well.
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Being this ladies man on film? Has anyone seen his real wife?
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And most of the bonus features, I'm pretty sure no one involved with this movie has ever been in a fight or played many sports. Save for PSH, whole like always saves a movie.
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Your younger then me, I don't see how anyone under 40 can really have such an emotional reaction to this movie. This movie is all about getting older and I've just started to worry about that, your still in college. The guy in the movie is in his 40's to start.
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Sometimes we just need this.
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What the hack is up with that?
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and that's very annoying. Especially when I've got a new piece of GOLDEN schlock to talk about.
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And I stand by what I typed last night. Eagle Eye sucked.
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Mar 17, 2009 4:08:19 AM CDT
Yeah, this TB has stretch marks
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Luckily I only had a RE5 sesh last night so I don't really have much to talk about.
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Bitch.
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Someone else will try to claim credit (that would be normal, anyhow). 2 days until new Twitch, right?
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Some sort of update that's taking quite a long time. Sounds like the forces of evil are trying to shut us up. Never happen!
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Still - what isn't a shame is my 'Nightmare On Elm Street' review coming later.
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Got to be a different villain.
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Xiphos just posted part 4 of "Hot Wind, Cool Breeze". The site is really rocking! Vern left a comment on SJB's "The Trout Cabin", but I don't know if it was Vern from here. Curious!
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Mar 17, 2009 4:29:53 AM CDT
This TB has been old-school tortured
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
On the rack.
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They're more warped than me, and that's an amazing thing.
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There's the box, Fuck's sake.
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It's a suitable location for our nonsense.
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Have a great day.
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What the fuck happened to Dan O'Bannon in the 80's. HAving seen a few of his "Masterpieces" written in an obviously drug fuelled haze, I know think that Alien was a complete fluke. Seriously, as much as I loved Lifeforce, Dead and Buried and (Especially) Return of the living dead (I saw bits that Shaun of the Dead had lifted wholesale- cool), they are all, being nice, complete fucking messes. Hilarious, no doubt, but not good writing.
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fuck this. And we'd easily ceared 2000
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I mean truly bizarre. And there are moments in the theater where my gf and I laughed- and we were the only ones- because the humor isn't presented as humor. I mean, the way his father died and the funeral with his coffin that was about 3 feet long- very strange, yet very funny. THEN it got weird.
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Pitt is a solid team, but just get Blair in foul trouble and they are done. I'm not impressed with Duke. It's a wide open tourney. I wouldn't be surprised if Louisville won it all or flamed out real quick like.
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Simple. Show them the aforementioned film. God, that sucked.
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i set up a group at yahoo. email me at Xiphos0311@yahoo.com for the sign in info.
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I've had issues with Kaufman for years, so I'm just laughing at his latest film getting panned. 'bout fucking time, all I can say.
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I've been the biggest Kaufman fan for years. We're totally cool though man. And Series, I'm sorry if the posts above came across and agressive or anything. I was pretty much just joking and I realize now you may have gotten angry.
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Not everyone applauded when Brian Cox (as that scriptwriter dude) fucking let Kaufman have it. I did, but that's a whole nother story.
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For all the believers.
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Mar 17, 2009 4:12:01 PM CDT
kungfuhustler -- this is why I've had a problem with you.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
"I'm not flustered at all your criticism is just dumb to me and I don't care. So it's more like I'm bored." Shit like that. When anyone disagrees with you-- rather than discuss or laugh it off, you freak out and eventually say the person with a differing view than yours is boring you. As if you're a higher life form or some shit. This is what I was talking about before but you didn't seem to get it. Just so you know. Don't be surprised when people get upset with you. PEACE!
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Mar 17, 2009 4:14:45 PM CDT
And I'm fucking sick of this "You didn't get it" shit.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Anytime someone doesn't like a film others hail as a masterpiece its gotta be "You didn't get it," in other words-- this is high art, you're a low life motherfucker too stupid to comprehend anything other than Jackie Chan movies. What the fuck happened to personal taste when it comes to film? You're not allowed to just dislike a film? Sheeeesh. Excuse me while I rub one out on that statement.
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I'm sorry, SYFY.
Least, I assume so. Leprechaun 3 is on now. (That's the one where he;s in Vegas). -
WTF happened?!
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Unfortunately I didn't have the time to sit through it last night.
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does this work?
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the did not work.
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*maybe? Maybe not?*
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this time
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[b]no probably not[/b]
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{\b\lang1033 not this time} {\par }
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If you're trying to bold or something of the like, you shouldn't use a CoC thread, but some shitty one.
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It was late and I was too lazy to find a different one.
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