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Kevin Smith To Direct Bruce Willis/Tracy Morgan Studio Buddy Comedy A COUPLE OF COPS!!

I am – Hercules!!
The writer-director behind the “Clerks” movies and “Zack and Miri Make A Porno” is making the leap to big-deal studio filmmaking. Kevin Smith will direct “Live Free Or Die Hard” co-star Bruce Willis and “30 Rock” icon Tracy Morgan in the Warner Bros. buddy comedy “A Couple of Cops,” scripted by TV writers Marc & Robb Cullen (“Lucky,” “Gary The Rat,” “Heist,” “Las Vegas”). It's the first feature Smith will direct that he didn’t write himself and the first Smith directorial effort released by a major studio. Variety describes the premise:
[The project centers on] a pair of cops who track down a stolen baseball card, rescue a Mexican beauty and must deal with gangsters and laundered drug money.
That sounds so bad Judd Apatow couldn’t fix it! It clouds my brain with memories of madcap "Whole Ten Yards" hijinks. I remember a lot of people liked FX’s “Lucky,” but I’ve described the Cullen boys’ 2006 NBC Dougray Scott vehicle “Heist” as one of the worst things I’ve ever seen. Find all of Variety’s story on the matter here.

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  • March 3, 2009, 10:38 p.m. CST

    I hope they stakeout OJ Simpson

    by The Dude Abides

  • March 3, 2009, 10:44 p.m. CST

    About time!

    by lockesbrokenleg

    He needs to brake away from that funny toilet shit.

  • March 3, 2009, 10:44 p.m. CST

    Herc, your link leads to the Megan Fox 'Fathom' story...

    by Pennsy

    Here's the correct link:

  • March 3, 2009, 10:45 p.m. CST

    Most generic title EVAR!

    by blackmantis

    I bet one's an old grizzled veteran about to retire, and the other is a loose cannon!

  • March 3, 2009, 10:45 p.m. CST

    Tracy Morgan is unfunny

    by Groothewarrior

    maybe Smith can call it Hudson Hawk:Kingdom of the Crystal Crap

  • March 3, 2009, 10:47 p.m. CST


    by beetlegeuse

    This has awful written all over it

  • March 3, 2009, 10:47 p.m. CST

    No kidding...Generic...

    by stanton29

    And they each learn valuable life lessons from each other... Has this ever been done before?

  • March 3, 2009, 10:47 p.m. CST

    by Dr. Wordsmith


  • March 3, 2009, 10:48 p.m. CST


    by Pennsy

  • March 3, 2009, 10:49 p.m. CST

    im gonna trust them...

    by Obscura

    cos that sounds fuckin shit, but smith isnt an idiot, he'd only be doing this if he knew it'd be decent. same goes for Bruce, generally speaking.

  • March 3, 2009, 10:50 p.m. CST

    Is Eddie Murphey busy?

    by White Goodman

    Tracy Morgan will never be funny. At least Eddie was.

  • March 3, 2009, 10:51 p.m. CST

    Wasn't Mallrats Universal?

    by JediRob

    This sounds like it's trying to be so funny. I'm SURE it will be. Although. it also sounds like money.

  • March 3, 2009, 10:51 p.m. CST

    fuck ya

    by geek molester

    sounds cool to me

  • March 3, 2009, 10:51 p.m. CST

    Smith would do it for the paycheck and

    by White Goodman

    to hang out with Willis. You know I'm right.

  • March 3, 2009, 10:52 p.m. CST


    by BeyondStatic

    As a fan of Kevin Smith, I will definately be keeping an eye on this one. It will be nice to he him stretch as a director - especially since 'Green Hornet' didn't pan out. His writing is amazing, but is his visual storytelling ability up to it? I think a buddy picture is a good place for him to start. Best Wishes, Kevin!

  • March 3, 2009, 10:53 p.m. CST

    I spelled Eddie Murphy wrong. I'll just edit that

    by White Goodman

    God damn your lack of upgrades Harry!

  • March 3, 2009, 10:54 p.m. CST


    by TallBoy66

    Nothing wrong with directing something you didn't write, but take that cash and make Red State. Wonder if he'll do a rewrite.

  • March 3, 2009, 10:55 p.m. CST

    Mallrats was released by Gramercy.

    by Hercules

    Universal inherited the video rights after Gramercy folded.

  • March 3, 2009, 10:56 p.m. CST

    Groothewarrior go fuck yourself

    by Proman1984

    And don't compare the perfectly fine Indy 4 with this crap.

  • March 3, 2009, 10:57 p.m. CST


    by darius25

    Seriously, what is wrong with you? Why would you do this? As a film freak I have watched and enjoyed every single movie you've made - from clerks to Zack and Miri. Where is your independent spirit now? Your best film will always be Chasing Amy. It spoketo me and yes i am still chasing that fucking bitch named Amy. And even when u did big budget studio films, including that one with J.Lo(TM), they were still entertaining at their core. However with this move, you have let us all down. Please back down and go back to what you do best!! Please make a movie from your heart.

  • March 3, 2009, 10:59 p.m. CST

    An Evening with Kevin Smith 3

    by Cannabis Holocaust

    Smith said he hung out with Bruce Willis during the filming of Live Free or Die Hard and that Willis expressed an interest in working with him in the future.

  • March 3, 2009, 11:02 p.m. CST

    As for not writing the script

    by Cannabis Holocaust

    You know Kevin's going to re-write all the dialogue anyway, so who cares?

  • March 3, 2009, 11:03 p.m. CST

    Ah Gramercey that's right. Which was kinda Universal.

    by JediRob

    They were like their little project company. I believe Universal proper scouted that project. <br> Wasn't Dogma Lionsgate if I recall? That's when Disney was scared of the bad press. I guess he has bounced from the Wensteins a little.

  • March 3, 2009, 11:04 p.m. CST

    Interested but scared

    by spandyman

    I love Kevin Smith, hopefully they give him the freedom to do some sort of treatment of the script. I would seriously doubt he would do a shitty buddy cop flick "just for the cash". He's been fine for almost 15 years not doing it, so something about this most have something good about it. As for the cast love Bruce, and Tracy Morgan is funny when he makes no sense, but I don't know if I can handle him for 90-100 minutes straight that might drive me bat shit insane, hopefully him and Kevin can gel on set and get something decent.

  • March 3, 2009, 11:08 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

  • March 3, 2009, 11:09 p.m. CST

    He's getting too old for that shit

    by lockesbrokenleg

  • March 3, 2009, 11:09 p.m. CST

    You make me sick Darius

    by White Goodman

    The guy has made his own movies for long enough. We live in a capitalist society. If Kevin Smith wants to make a piece of shit and get paid, then he can do it. Smith is a smart guy and he has to realize that a director who is popular now might not be popular 10 years from now. The bitch wants to get paid. And Chasing Amy wasn't that good.

  • March 3, 2009, 11:10 p.m. CST

    Why did they change the name?

    by Phantom Grimace

    A Couple of Dicks was a much better title. Maybe Bedub will make them change it back.

  • March 3, 2009, 11:11 p.m. CST


    by Bloo

    had a small part in Smith's Jay and Silent bob Strike Back as a drug dealer that riffs back and forth with Jay<P>I'm a Tracy Morgan fan but there's just somethinga bout this project that...well doesn't sit right with me, but yeah I'm sure it's for a paycheck and a chance to hang with Bruce and Tracy

  • March 3, 2009, 11:13 p.m. CST

    I just hope it's better than Zack and Miri

    by Cannabis Holocaust

    What an out of touch, unbelievable piece of crap and an overall wasted opportunity... The only people who actually liked that film were 40 year old internet critics who are oblivious to modern human behavior. I'm not surprised it bombed like it did, I sure as hell wouldn't recommend it to anybody after viewing. I was ready to walk out after the scene where they were dancing to the DMX song, which pretty much summed up the movie. How Kevin Smith could actually think scenes like that would somehow be humorous instead of just plain sad I will never know...

  • March 3, 2009, 11:14 p.m. CST

    they've already changed the name?!

    by tsfogg

    HAHAHAHAHA!! Let the slow, sad, slide into medicority begin!

  • March 3, 2009, 11:19 p.m. CST

    best news

    by smutpeddlar tracey morgan out takes from totally awesome,watch that then tell me he's not funny haha! you can't be black! you ever killed a man for sweat pant money?

  • March 3, 2009, 11:20 p.m. CST

    Even if its shitty Harry will LOVE it!

    by themasterofnonsense

    because his good buddy Bruce is in it.

  • March 3, 2009, 11:28 p.m. CST


    by frank cotton

    that was some funny shit! on topic, this sounds like it has more potential then 99.9% of the future crap that will be dumped on us

  • March 3, 2009, 11:30 p.m. CST


    by I am the Terminator

    DannyGlovers Dickhead might as well direct it.

  • March 3, 2009, 11:32 p.m. CST

    Really Herk!?!?

    by jaws8u

    You referred to Bruce Willis as the Co-star of "Live Free Die Hard" and Tracy Morgan as a "30 Rock" Icon... Within the context of those two things, I actually agree as "Live Free Die Hard" is/was mediocre and "30 Rock" is utterly brilliant, but come on! Doesn't Bruce deserve a little more credit and Tracy a little less. Besides I can't help but feel that Tracy's performance on "30 Rock" is really more a result of the show's excellent writing.

  • March 3, 2009, 11:40 p.m. CST

    waiting for harry to confirm and unconfirm

    by Stengah

    arnold for some cameo in this movie. fucking shit ass sources harry has.

  • March 3, 2009, 11:53 p.m. CST

    Triple Meh

    by Chadillac69

    Willis/Smith connection aside, this is one those projects that will die long before Smith says "Action". At least I hope it does because it sounds like a perfect storm of shit. I like all three people alone- I just don't see them making a movie that won't suck with them together.

  • March 3, 2009, 11:55 p.m. CST

    Kevin Smith gotta eat

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    was bound to happen at some point.

  • March 3, 2009, 11:56 p.m. CST

    oh just die of a hearet attack already

    by phoenixmagida5th

    Kevin smith. Your 15 minutes were up I the 90's

  • March 3, 2009, 11:56 p.m. CST

    oh just die of a heart attack already

    by phoenixmagida5th

    Kevin smith. Your 15 minutes were up I the 90's

  • March 3, 2009, 11:56 p.m. CST

    Kevin Smith has made some great movies

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    sadly this will not be one of them.

  • March 3, 2009, 11:58 p.m. CST

    I'm glad.

    by MaxTheSilent

    ZACK AND MIRI was shitful. He's clearly run out of gas for now with his own stuff, so it's about fucking time he grew a pair and gave a studio gig a shot.

  • March 4, 2009, 12:12 a.m. CST

    This sounds terrible

    by Bladerunner751

    Kevin Smith has basically made the same movie over and over again and has had no box office success so at least he's trying something different. Smith is a hack living off one decent movie that he made 15 years ago.

  • March 4, 2009, 12:17 a.m. CST


    by Harold-Sherbort

    I wonder what Brian Fellows would have to say about this?

  • March 4, 2009, 12:17 a.m. CST

    Listen to Smodcast

    by Cartman86

    There are so many times where if you actually read these filmmakers blog or listen to their podcast. Places where they can be candid helps you understand their reasoning. Sometimes you don't agree with them but the majority of the time you really get a sense for who these people are. Especially Kevin with Smodcast. He's just a human being like you and me who wants to have fun. Sometimes his tastes change and when you age you start to see that staying true to some stupid thing you said years ago just doesn't matter. Smith doesn't feel like he needs to direct only movies he wrote. Fine with me.

  • March 4, 2009, 12:26 a.m. CST

    How long before Smith casts...

    by mrfan

    all his buddies in a small role? Kind of like the way Sandler lets his buddies in his movies.

  • March 4, 2009, 12:33 a.m. CST

    Good standup. Bad Director.

    by Stormwatcher

    Magnolia Fan indeed.

  • March 4, 2009, 12:50 a.m. CST


    by Mullah Omar

    I'm betting Bruce gets the Danny Glover role in this one.

  • March 4, 2009, 12:57 a.m. CST

    The reason Smith makes this film

    by natecore

    I don't think he was able to pull together the funding for Red State, and he personally likes the script enough to make this studio film to be a team player.

  • March 4, 2009, 1:06 a.m. CST

    agreed, natecore

    by Talkbacker with no name

    and tracy morgan is funny as fuck :)

  • March 4, 2009, 1:21 a.m. CST

    Last chance, Kevin Smith

    by Heckles

    Man, if this thing sinks I don't see how Smith will get another studio gig. Don't fuck it up.<br><br>Jersey Girl, Clerks 2, Zach & Miri... Smith is dropping more bombs than hezbollah. Now he has a chance to go more mainstream, finally, and get the Clerks faithful back in the theaters.

  • March 4, 2009, 1:24 a.m. CST

    'judd apatow couldnt fix it'

    by benito

    Since when has Judd Apatow been good at fixing things? These days Judd Apatow (who I have a soft spot for from the Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared days, but like less and less with every movie he releases) only makes things worse, and now he has his hands all over Ghostbusters. Cue nuclear winter.

  • March 4, 2009, 1:29 a.m. CST


    by Bass Ackwards

    This sounds so generically bad it almost feels like a prank. It's the kind of movie project that comes around by ideas on a wall and a handful of darts. And Tracy Morgan isn't unfunny, but he's only got two things going for him, Tina Fey and Brian Fellows.

  • March 4, 2009, 1:39 a.m. CST

    All of Kevin Smiths films have been profitable

    by Quin the Eskimo


  • March 4, 2009, 1:43 a.m. CST

    He's been hinting at this on Smodcast.

    by V'Shael

    He seemed to get on well enough with Bruce Willis during the few days of his time on Die Hard. I don't expect much from the movie, or his direction, to be honest. But I hope it's a good move for him.

  • March 4, 2009, 1:55 a.m. CST

    Profitable? All of them?

    by Heckles

    Jersey Girl? Not sure if IMDB is accurate, but it points to a $10 mill shortfall, domestic of course. I will give you it at least breaks even in the BO worldwide. Then with DVD sales probably made enough. <br><br>Still. <br><br>Smith has never had that box office smash. <br><br>And just because Smith merchandises the shit out of his movies doesn't mean all that much. Action figures, comics, shirts... it's kind of lame.

  • March 4, 2009, 1:58 a.m. CST

    Is the box office gross indicitive of good filmaking?

    by Quin the Eskimo

    I vote no.

  • March 4, 2009, 2:02 a.m. CST


    by benito

    You say that all of his films broke even like it means something, then someone else says he's never had a big financial hit, and you balk at this because 'box offfice is not indicative of good film making'. You're right, it's not (in and of itself) indicative of good filmmaking. But it is indicative of a future in the business. Smith's problem is that his films are neither good nor especially profitable. So he fails on both counts, however nice a guy he may be.

  • March 4, 2009, 2:14 a.m. CST

    I'm all about the Hudson Hawk 2

    by Dr Gregory House

    Hudson of, if not the BEST, so-called 'bombs' of all time.

  • March 4, 2009, 2:14 a.m. CST

    Doing it for the pay and the chance to hang out with Willis

    by fitz-hume

    There's nothing wrong with wanting to get paid good for doing a job and wanting to work with Bruce "John McClane" Willis [White Goodman], assuming Smith wants to do a good movie and I'm pretty certain that's what he's set out to do.

  • March 4, 2009, 2:16 a.m. CST


    by xdiamondxdanx

    How do you explain that he is getting a promotion to work with a major studio for the first time and with the legend Bruce Willis as the lead? Do you think he failed his way into this? Thats a pretty amazing achievement.

  • March 4, 2009, 2:18 a.m. CST

    Fitz-Hume: 2 things

    by White Goodman

    1. Great name. I love that movie. 2. There isn't anything wrong with that. Would I take a job to hang out with Bruce Willis and make a shit load of money? Hell yeah. Fuck Artistic Integrity.

  • March 4, 2009, 2:31 a.m. CST

    What bugs me is the shit about his artistic integrity

    by White Goodman

    Have you fans ever read an interview with him or watched his Evening dvds? The guy likes getting paid. Not every movie he makes is going to be Chasing Amy (which I never liked, but I realize that there are a lot of fans). There is nothing wrong with him making the most money he can. Just don't call him a sell out now.

  • March 4, 2009, 2:31 a.m. CST

    In fact, this sounds like something Apatow would do!

    by DerLanghaarige

    With Seth Rogen in the Bruce Willis role and the cops would smoke weed.

  • March 4, 2009, 2:34 a.m. CST


    by billyhitchcock

    sounds like KS is on to another stinker! you are the ones who are the ball lickers :-)

  • March 4, 2009, 2:37 a.m. CST

    I like Kevin Smith.

    by Knuckleduster

    But so much of the promise and potential his fans saw in him is going to waste. I get the feeling this guy will never move on and do anything to really impress us ever again. When are you gonna make your horror movie, Kevin? Never. When are you gonna move away from dick and fart jokes, Kevin? Never. Okay, nothing really wrong with that. I just think the guy's become too comfortable.

  • March 4, 2009, 2:40 a.m. CST

    Kevin fuckin' Smith?

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    One-trick pony.

  • March 4, 2009, 2:41 a.m. CST


    by benito

    Um, what? I was pointing out the inconsistency of another tb'ers argument. I never said anything about Smith not being bankable. All his films have made a profit, thus he is bankable and gets more work.

  • March 4, 2009, 2:56 a.m. CST

    It's not just that he's bankable or makes a profit

    by V'Shael

    but he works best when the movie costs little to make. <p> Say Clerks 2 was made for 5 million and change. (Just a number, I could be wrong.) And grosses 35 million. You can argue that that is not a runaway fucking box-office smash, but it's a 700% return on your investment. <p> Take something like the Dark Knight. It's made for 185 million. It grosses 550 million. That's a lot less than 700% return on your investment. <p> I know who I'd rather give my money to, to make a movie.

  • March 4, 2009, 2:58 a.m. CST

    whenever anyone on this website

    by Bloo

    mentions Aptow like he's the Second Coming...I have to remind them...KICKING AND SCREAMING

  • March 4, 2009, 3:03 a.m. CST

    At least 1/3 of the people in this TB...

    by Ravetin

    ...ARE Kevin Smith, I'll bet.

  • March 4, 2009, 3:17 a.m. CST

    His films minus one break even at the box office

    by Quin the Eskimo

    and make a killing on dvd

  • March 4, 2009, 3:27 a.m. CST

    my high school teacher liked kevin smith

    by dioxholster

    alot, dont know why. she thinks hes some kind of hero. but all i see is a desperate filmmaker who thinks a movie is good if he manages to put star wars references in them.

  • March 4, 2009, 3:38 a.m. CST

    if Kevin Smith directed Star Wars

    by dioxholster

    i bet it will include all kinds of snowballs. the guy is sick.

  • March 4, 2009, 3:46 a.m. CST

    Smith's movies...

    by Ghostball

    always stink up the place

  • March 4, 2009, 3:51 a.m. CST

    you guys are dicks

    by BendersShinyAss

    show some fucking class for a change

  • March 4, 2009, 3:52 a.m. CST

    KEVIN SMITH said once he wants to do

    by dioxholster

    a real porno featuring his wife

  • March 4, 2009, 3:54 a.m. CST

    oh and zack and miri

    by BendersShinyAss

    was a suprisingly great film. I thought the begining was a bit lacking but over all I really enjoyed it. And i laughed my arse off when Jay walked in naked and bent over, balls n all. <p> that said, i fucking hate chasing amy

  • March 4, 2009, 3:57 a.m. CST

    Kevin Smith is exactly the same as Tarantino

    by Droid

    People loved him because he came out of nowhere with a particular style. Now it's cool to hate him because he still makes films in the same particular style. <p>Do I like every KS flick? No. But I don't try to big myself up yelling about how much I hate him. <p>And for the record, this film sounds worse than those Martin Lawrence buddy cop comedies.

  • March 4, 2009, 4:26 a.m. CST

    Isn't the film called "A Couple of Dicks"?

    by ELGordo

    That's what I thought.

  • March 4, 2009, 4:52 a.m. CST


    by Lost Jarv

    Chasing Amy is great. Best thing Smith has done. Z&M was fucking horrid. <P>Oh, wait, I've just remembered who I'm talking to. Never mind.

  • March 4, 2009, 5:17 a.m. CST

    Who Dat Ninja?

    by theBigE

    When's Morgan getting around to making that film? This one sounds like "Good Cop, Black Cop," or whatever the name is of the 30 Rock poster he has up.

  • March 4, 2009, 6:11 a.m. CST

    Zack and Miri has not yet made a profit

    by BrowncoatJedi

    And it may not even with DVD and cable sales. The budget and marketing were so expensive, it just hasn't made enough money to break even.

  • March 4, 2009, 6:13 a.m. CST

    lost jarv

    by BendersShinyAss

    chasing amy is good if you enjoy watching endless dialogue that goes nowhere. It has it's moments but ultimately bores the shit out of me. Not to mention how fucking horrible that nails down the chalkboard/fingers over balloon screaming voice is of the dyke in it. sure she was cute in mallrats, but for gods sake keep her quiet. <p> Z&M wasn't harrid. not by a long shot. sure it had an air of amateur to it, but it's kevin smith - it's part of his filmmaking charm and more power to him for getting his films made. <p> as for your last sentence... go suck on pazuzu

  • March 4, 2009, 6:16 a.m. CST

    Why does Kevin Smith suck? See Die Hard 4...

    by HarryBlackPotter

    It's not Kevin Smith's acting in that movie, it's one of the special features where Kevin talks to Bruce. It's the toe-curlingly awful suck-up to a A-list star I've ever witnessed. Basically Kev the Geek creams all over Bruce and says how This NEW Die Hard movie is REAL and that Geeks like him are in LOVE with the franchise, blar blar. Made me puke.

  • March 4, 2009, 6:20 a.m. CST

    Oh, Kevin. Why?

    by spix14

    Now don't get me wrong, I love Kev. But as a hardcore fan of his I'm starting to feel a little let down. I liken it to going to your home team's games, over and over, even though they just can't win a fucking game. You still love them but watching them miss goal after goal, all the while you're sitting their cheering your ass off, yelling about how oh you can do it, you can do it, then as time wears on and they keep missing you gradually just quit cheering and sit down, waiting for the inevitable fail. I managed to convince myself to like Clerks 2, after repeated viewings. I'm trying my damndest to like Zack and Mirri. All this time I've been holding out for Red State, just knowing that Kev will knock it out of the park and shut all his critics right the fuck up. And now he's doing a buddy cop movie. Jesus fuck. Guess I'll just sit here in the bleachers and wait.

  • March 4, 2009, 6:34 a.m. CST

    If this wasn't Smith,would you still hate it?

    by pokadoo

    I'd watch a Bruce Willis / Tracy Morgan Buddy/Cop film regardless of who directed it. Sure it sounds like low-brow video fodder, but there's nothing wrong with a bit of that. I grew up watching 'black/white cops dont get along, then do get along while investigating dead hookers & busting evil coke-rings' action-comedys. It's maybe that it seems not the sort of thing Smith would normally do that makes it seem shit. I'm sure he knows what he's doing at this stage in his career.

  • March 4, 2009, 6:45 a.m. CST

    This talkback isn't very funny

    by DannyDorko666

    Did Kevin smith write it?

  • March 4, 2009, 6:57 a.m. CST

    yeah no mention of the title change?!

    by lex romero

    It was originally called "a couple of dicks". /film reported on the film being called that, but apparantly movie bosses have changed it, probably because of the z&m make a porno name backlash. How fucking stupid.

  • March 4, 2009, 7:01 a.m. CST

    Bite me, fuckhead

    by Lost Jarv

    it was aimed at your consistently fucking weird taste in films. <P>A recommendation from you almost fucking guarantees that it's going to blow.

  • March 4, 2009, 7:02 a.m. CST


    by Ghostball


  • March 4, 2009, 7:12 a.m. CST

    Why are none of you dorks bringing up......

    by Indiana-Joe

    Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back? Is that why Kevin gets all the bullshit thrown his way on here? He was the first one who had the balls to throw a big fuck you on screen to all the crybaby dickfaces on here and other sites who never have a positive word about anything. It ain't Kevin's fault all you negative nancies couldn't put enough game together to get laid at a woman's prison. Blame your parents for not recognizing your slow descent into being a laughingstock and preventing it with a few helping steps. Personally I'm not thrilled with this news. I look forward to the new Kevin Smith movie we get every other year and it seems like this might delay his next "real" movie. But I trust he'll do enough rewriting on it that it'll be fine. I'll be there on opening weekend and it already sounds like it will be his biggest opener and grosser ever.

  • March 4, 2009, 7:14 a.m. CST

    Did Anyone Actually See Zack And Miri Make A Porno?

    by LaserPants

    I haven't met ONE person who saw it. Not one.

  • March 4, 2009, 7:21 a.m. CST

    not missing much laserpants

    by lex romero

    I watched it last week, really disappointing.

  • March 4, 2009, 7:22 a.m. CST

    So weird, that I can't even form an opinion

    by dr sauch

    We'll wait and see.

  • March 4, 2009, 7:29 a.m. CST

    Hey, Kevin Smith Gotta Eat

    by Aquatarkusman

    You know, a lot more than the rest of us.

  • March 4, 2009, 7:33 a.m. CST

    a couple of DICKS


    i heard that was the title. dicks as in detectives. not 'a couple of cops'. i can see smith making 'a couple of dicks'. ...and gee, do you think the mexican beauty is going to be salma hayak or rosario dawson or one of his other go-to's?

  • March 4, 2009, 7:34 a.m. CST

    and tracy morgan isn't funny.


    unless you consider his shoutiness like a angry retarded sassy urban 5 year old- the way he delivers every line- funny.

  • March 4, 2009, 7:36 a.m. CST

    BrowncoatJedi: Bullshit. Zack and Miri made profit already

    by V'Shael

    But studios generally manage to hide the profits from the taxman on every single movie except Titanic. <p> Facts are facts though. Z&M grossed more than any other Kevin Smith film to date (by the slimmest of margins) and hasn't lost anyone any money.

  • March 4, 2009, 7:37 a.m. CST


    by V'Shael

    "Did Anyone Actually See Zack And Miri Make A Porno? I haven't met ONE person who saw it. Not one." <p> Well, have you tried leaving your parents basement? And meeting people? <p> Just look up the thread here. Lots of people have seen it, even if some didn't care for it.

  • March 4, 2009, 7:40 a.m. CST

    And That Plot Is So Generic

    by Aquatarkusman

    ... that it should be packaged in a solid white cardboard box with the word PLOT printed on it in big black letters.

  • March 4, 2009, 7:40 a.m. CST

    Tracy Morgan is starting to believe he is Tracy Jordan

    by InActionMan

    Tracy Jordan Filmography from Wikipedia: <P> <P> Who Dat Ninja?, where he plays an African-American ninja. (Portrayal of a non-Asian ninja might be a reference to Beverly Hills Ninja.) Early episodes show the spelling in the poster found in Tracy's dressing room as being 'Who Dat Ninga.' <P> Black Cop/White Cop ("One does the duty; the other gets the booty!"), in which he plays a Black cop who disguises himself as a White cop. (Reference to White Chicks) <P> Black Cavemen ("So simple, a Black Caveman can do it!"), in which he plays a Black Caveman who, along with his friends, tries to fit into a society which is slow to accept them. (Reference to Geico Cavemen) <P> Honky Grandma be Trippin', in which he portrays a Black man who disguises himself as an overweight elderly White woman. (Reference to Big Momma's House) <P> President Homeboy, in which he plays a Black president. (a reference to Head of State) <P> Fat Bitch ("She's off the leash!"), in which he turns into a dog. Don Geiss wanted a sequel made, despite the fact that Coco (Fat Bitch) died at the end. (Reference to The Shaggy Dog) <P> Samurai I Am Awry, spent nine months in Japan filming this movie. <P> Death Bank, film with the tagline "Money is the Root of All Evil." (Possibly a reference to The International) <P> A Blaffair to Rememblack, a remake of An Affair to Remember. <P> Cruise Boat, in which he declares, "I'm too old for this ship."

  • March 4, 2009, 7:42 a.m. CST


    by turketron

    I would lay waste to this idiotic Kevin Smith bitch and moan talkback if I could.<p><p> I haven't seen Zack and Miri Make a Porno, but I've had the bootleg on my computer for a while now. Dunno when I'll get around to seeing it.

  • March 4, 2009, 7:47 a.m. CST

    You won't see Stallone touching shit like this.

    by Stuntcock Mike

    He used to, but not any more.

  • March 4, 2009, 7:48 a.m. CST

    Kevin Smith

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Like - Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jersey Girl. <br> Don't Like - J&SBSB, Clerks II, Zack & Miri </br> <br> The guy has more hits than misses, but he's been missing for a few years now.

  • March 4, 2009, 7:48 a.m. CST

    This is Bruce's "Stop or my Mom willl Shoot" moment

    by GeorgieBoy

    Why don't these guys avoid these dumb projects like the plague?

  • March 4, 2009, 7:56 a.m. CST

    Is it april 1st already?

    by Melvin_Pelvis

    What could compel Willis to do such a stupid project or work with a moran like Morgan?

  • March 4, 2009, 8:01 a.m. CST

    Why not just call it

    by skimn

    White Cop Black Cop? Isn't there a parody poster that "Tracy Jordan" has in his dressing room in 30 Rock already like that?

  • March 4, 2009, 8:05 a.m. CST

    allright Kevo it was time to evolve

    by Vitter

    to make different type of movies, I like this step even though im not that big of a fan of this buddy cop movies.. yeah lethal weapon when i was a kid..but now..they r usually crap

  • March 4, 2009, 8:08 a.m. CST

    Nice Try, VShael, You Wretched Virginal Fatbody

    by LaserPants

    I've lived on my own since 18, have a girlfriend, and even exercise! In my voluminous and super cool social circle, NOBODY has seen this film. I think, in fact, you are the ONLY person who has seen it. Perhaps... in mom's basement?

  • March 4, 2009, 8:13 a.m. CST


    by skimn

    You have much better eyes than I.

  • March 4, 2009, 8:14 a.m. CST

    I like Tracy Morgan, I like Bruce Willis

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Kevin Smith - meh. So for me this will either be a great comedy, or it will be extremely stupid. I'm hoping for the former, but I don't know.

  • March 4, 2009, 8:30 a.m. CST

    The Crimes of Bruce Willis.

    by The-Warrior

    I have to emerge from my semi-retirement for this one, because enough is enough. First, Walter Bruce Willis takes a steaming, slop-dump all over the chest of John McClane by allowing that abortion of a "Die Hard" movie to be released (John McClane fights nerds and never swears and prances around on a fucking jet fighter and yucks it up with corpulent zero, Kevin Smith! The only way this could be gayer is if he paraded around with a cock in his mouth to explain how he quit chain-smoking and lovingly tongue kissed the chuckle-basket from the Mac commecials. IT WILL BLOW YOU THROUGH THE BACK OF THE THEATER!!!!) now he's apparently making clown-y buddy cop movies. When in the late 1980's is this garbarge can going to be released? Seriously, if this is the best you can offer, just retire to your giant pile of money. Stop. Please. As a favor to everybody who used to think you were awesome. Also, Kevin Smith can eat a bucket of assholes. Thank you. I remain, the Warrior. See you in Hell.

  • March 4, 2009, 8:35 a.m. CST

    Why the Tracy Morgan hate?

    by terry1978

    You act like he raped your mom while kicking your puppy or some shit. He's funny on 30 Rock, totally self-aware. I think people can't separate the guy he plays on the show from the real world person, who in interviews is fucking hilarious.

  • March 4, 2009, 8:38 a.m. CST


    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Yeah... I said I saw it above. And yes, it was shit.

  • March 4, 2009, 8:54 a.m. CST

    really? why this? Come on, sir - don't give into the Dark Side

    by MitchMan710

    If you change it to a rare comicbook rather than a baseball card than I am hooked... but is this some knee-jerk reaction to the less than expected "Zack & Miri" BO to prove that you have what it takes to play inthe big leagues? If you are going that route atleast do a remake of "My Favorite Year" with Harrison Ford and Justin Long -- that would be funny and good for all parties' involved careers. I am off to the comicshop to see if issue #3 of Cacophony has showed up.

  • March 4, 2009, 8:54 a.m. CST

    Mr. Zeddemore

    by V'Shael

    Yes, you've seen it. Plenty of people have. Evidence is evidence. But mr laserpants apparently has a very small social circle, if he's never met anyone who's seen it.

  • March 4, 2009, 8:56 a.m. CST

    Isn't it called "A Couple of Dicks"?

    by chrth

  • March 4, 2009, 9:04 a.m. CST

    One of the special features on the LFDH DVD

    by skimn

    Is a sit down on some backlot steps with Kevin Smith and Bruce Willis, and they do seem to share a nice camaraderie. But does that make this sound any better? Nooooo.<p>Does anyone know if John McTiernan is out of jail. Was he in jail? He and Bruce need to reteam and do something..anything.

  • March 4, 2009, 9:05 a.m. CST

    McClane and...

    by Kid Z

    ...Bryan Fellows as cops who sit around and talk endlessly about sex and Star Wars... yeah... I be waiting until this is on basic cable.

  • March 4, 2009, 9:10 a.m. CST

    Tracy Jordan on Conan on 30 Rock

    by skimn

    "I AM A STABBING ROBOT..."<P>Hilarious. I don't get the Tracy hate either. No, he's no Richard Pryor, Chris Rock, or prime Eddie Murphy. He is funny. His characters on SNL, Astronaut Jones and Brian Fellows, were funny. I'll take him over Kat Williams any day of the week.

  • March 4, 2009, 9:11 a.m. CST

    If Smith didn't write the script then what's the point...

    by rbatty024

    of him directing? Couldn't you get the Orangutan from Jay and Silent Bob to point the camera and let people talk. Smith himself says he's not a very talented director and I'm inclined to agree.

  • March 4, 2009, 9:11 a.m. CST

    And yes, I do know I typed

    by skimn

    Jordan not Morgan.

  • March 4, 2009, 9:15 a.m. CST

    Wait a Minute...

    by symon

    A studio wants to hire Kevin Smith for his directing ability? That's insane! Chasing Amy is directed moderately well - the rest look like crap. I love his writing, but the man does not know where to put a camera or what to do with it once it's there, and Zack & Miri pretty much proved he's got no desire to learn....

  • March 4, 2009, 9:34 a.m. CST


    by NubtheSquirrel

    Does Smith get an option to re-write? If he does, he'll have some funny dialogue for the two guys. This might be good. I'm looking forward to it for sure.

  • March 4, 2009, 9:35 a.m. CST


    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Touche. Then again, a 'super-cool social circle?' Really? Fuck, I've been self-professed 'uncool' since 2002 when fanboys started blitzing me for liking Daredevil. <p> I don't even know what 'cool' is anymore, save for a ridiculous buzzword.

  • March 4, 2009, 9:35 a.m. CST

    This sounds like a movie Tracy made on 30 Rock

    by Lance Rocke

    Who Dat Ninja?, and now this!

  • March 4, 2009, 9:38 a.m. CST

    Maybe it'll be a clever generic subversion?

    by phool2056

    Probably not. I'll decide whether or not to go based on the size of the wad Harry says it blew on his face.

  • March 4, 2009, 9:39 a.m. CST

    Sounds bad Herc?

    by HoboCode

    Come on dude. This will kick some ass.

  • March 4, 2009, 9:52 a.m. CST

    That title is all kinds of horrible

    by SpyGuy


  • March 4, 2009, 9:52 a.m. CST

    Polygram Pictures presents

    by skimn

    <p>HE'S a decorated detective with 30 years on the force...<p>HE'S a downtown hotshot who'll do anything to catch the crook<p><p>Together they'll take down the bad guys, if they don't take down each other first...<p><p>BRUCE WILLIS<P><P>and<P><P>TRACY MORGAN are<p><p>A COUPLE OF COPS<p><p>JANUARY 2010

  • March 4, 2009, 10:14 a.m. CST


    by Arcadian Del Sol

    Gee Herc - why did you forget to mention those?

  • March 4, 2009, 10:23 a.m. CST

    Does the lameness ever end?

    by Citizen Sane

    If the unimaginative title doesn't tell it, than maybe the ill-conceived casting or the HACK director will: THIS IS GOING TO SUUUUUUCK!!!!!!

  • March 4, 2009, 10:45 a.m. CST

    Bruce & Tracy Make A Porno...

    by StatelyWayneManor

    Kudos for Kevin for cashing in...maybe he is funding Ranger Danger & the Danger Rangers. Yeah, I saw Zack & Miri in the theater. In the real world, someone like Elizabeth Banks would never fall for a schlub like Seth Rogen.

  • March 4, 2009, 10:54 a.m. CST

    Fuck! Kevin Smith is still in showbiz?

    by Stalkeye

    What a sack of hack this guy is and I for one can't comphrehend his clueless fanbase (and I use that term loosely.) He can't direct,he can't write for shit even in Comics and he's as funny as the Economy.<p>All I can say is that God is smiling on this fat fuck.As for Tracy, he's not funny, but he has his moments.In either way, it's a pass.

  • March 4, 2009, 10:55 a.m. CST

    Mr Zeddemore:

    by V'Shael

    I never used the word cool. I simply said small.

  • March 4, 2009, 10:59 a.m. CST


    by Mr. Zeddemore

    I was referring to how 'he' used the term 'super-cool', not you. Apologies for any confusion.

  • March 4, 2009, 11:05 a.m. CST

    kevin smith is not a hack.

    by thekylegassproject

    i find it funny that kevin smith is referred to as a "hack" by so many people.<p> i mean, you can argue about the worth of kevin smith all you want, but by definition, he is not a hack.<p> a hack works within the dead center of the studio system and laps up whatever scripts the heads of studio toss them. you know, the type of films that really don't matter. the type of films that have a built-in marketing plan which does not require a name director.<p> kevin has always done his own thing, and most importantly, has always written his own stuff. this makes him NOT a definition.<p> now this buddy cop movie choice here...this...THIS could make him into a hack.

  • March 4, 2009, 11:15 a.m. CST

    Funniest line I heard Smith say

    by skimn

    On You Tube there is a clip of ComiCon with Judd Apatow answering a question about the influence and power of the internet and sites like AICN. Its here that Apatow says there is a lot of negative feedback on the internet, but remember the source, there's one guy named Danny Glovers DickBlood...Smith responds, "It took me forever to come up with that name.."

  • March 4, 2009, 11:22 a.m. CST

    heh, nice one Skimm

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Course - it's amusing that Apatow talks about negative feedback considering how much this site pushed Knocked Up and Superbad. Yeah, they broke into the mainstream, but the publicity here didn't hurt none.

  • March 4, 2009, 11:33 a.m. CST

    I'm a huge Kev Smith fan

    by OfficerJunior

    so I'm a little biased. However, Kevin is certainly a better writer than director. this project doesn't sound too great on paper. Tracey Morgan is funny, and don't nobody fuck with McClane but the synapsis sounds like Rush Hour 4. Peace out, I'm Brian Fellow.

  • March 4, 2009, 11:34 a.m. CST

    that bird is a liar

    by OfficerJunior

    gotta pick my mind grapes

  • March 4, 2009, 11:41 a.m. CST

    tracy morgan is an icon? who knew.

    by Bouncy X

  • March 4, 2009, 11:46 a.m. CST

    I wonder if Kevin Smith still has a Black Box.

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Anyone else remember when he took on AICN Talkback? Good times.

  • March 4, 2009, 11:50 a.m. CST

    you know who DOES...

    by OfficerJunior

    have a black box? Your mother

  • March 4, 2009, 11:51 a.m. CST

    sweet justice

    by zacdilone

    Seeing Smith reduced to this brings tears of joy to my eyes. An overrated hack gets his just reward.

  • March 4, 2009, 12:18 p.m. CST


    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Did you pay for sex with my mother again?

  • March 4, 2009, 12:23 p.m. CST

    Not good

    by daggor

    Tracy Morgan is horrible, and Kevin Smith makes movies that are interesting, fun, and somewhat funny... but they aren't "good" movies.

  • March 4, 2009, 12:27 p.m. CST

    Judd Apatow couldn’t fix it

    by Series7

    Ummm what is it that Judd Apatow is fixing? Obviously not comedy.

  • March 4, 2009, 12:31 p.m. CST

    Only good thing about Silent Bob is...

    by Darth Macchio

    Joey Lauren Adams. Yeah, I said it.<p>Ok, not really, but then again really...Mallrats was fun but a bit pretentious here and there (did we stop hating the mandatory rom-com ending of 'misunderstood protagonist voluntarily faces public humiliation as penance' just for this movie? Bob gets a pass cause it's a 'geek flick' and thus not 100% rom-com?), Chasing Amy was good but not brilliant, Clerks bored me (and I worked at a god damned convenience store during college), J&SB strike back was total ass...haven't seen much else so can't really say but the guy obviously has some ability and talent but I think it's more hype than hearth these days.<p>But then he puts that supremely sultry voiced super-hottie in most of his flicks with occasional gratuitous nudity and I'm there! Shallow? Of course. Lies? NEVER!<p>And is it me or did Bruce Willis turn John McLane into a huge fucking total dick in "Live Free or Die Hard"? It's on permanent repeat on HOBO now and I gotta say, Bruce plays McLane as a total asswipe to everyone (EVERYONE!) in the whole fucking movie. SUCK!!!! And if that wasn't enough: SUCK!!!!!

  • March 4, 2009, 12:31 p.m. CST

    Nice Gaius...

    by OfficerJunior

    Yeah, but I had a coupon, 30% off. That's nothing to sneeze at but my mothers gives hers away for free.

  • March 4, 2009, 12:54 p.m. CST

    As much as I don't like Kevin Smith...

    by fassbinder79

    ...I think he should do a rewrite.

  • March 4, 2009, 12:57 p.m. CST

    Critiquing comedy is such a fucking waste of time

    by Quin the Eskimo

    What is better, the color red or the color yellow?

  • March 4, 2009, 1:43 p.m. CST

    "How am I driving?"

    by TedKordLives

    Call 1-800-I'm gonna fucking die!

  • March 4, 2009, 1:56 p.m. CST

    I was really hoping his first studio flick would be sci-fi.

    by Royston Lodge

    Why bother selling out to a studio if you're not going to get access to the studio's special effects department. A buddy cop flick seems like a waste of Smith's potential.

  • March 4, 2009, 1:58 p.m. CST

    Kevin should have done a remake of The Ice Pirates instead.

    by Royston Lodge

    That would have been cool.

  • March 4, 2009, 2:05 p.m. CST


    by StatelyWayneManor

    Kevin Smith turned down writing/directing the Green Hornet movie because, he said, he wasn't ready to do a big budget action film. I wonder what changed.

  • March 4, 2009, 2:10 p.m. CST

    Not Gonna Happen

    by ROBRAM89

    This sounds like one of those projects that lasts about five seconds. Happens to Smith a lot. And it should, this sounds terrible. Also? Smith said he was never going to direct somebody else's script again, ever. He did Reaper and liked it, but it didn't feel right to him. I understand that and hope this dies quickly. I want Red State, damn it.

  • March 4, 2009, 2:34 p.m. CST

    How long before Smith drops out of this?

    by Rev. Slappy

    Why would anybody hire him to direct? Write maybe, but direct?

  • March 4, 2009, 3:29 p.m. CST

    Why doesn't Bruce make good films anymore?

    by Charlie_Allnut

    Is it really that hard to find good action scripts in Hollywood? Curious to see Kevin Smith directing something different.

  • March 4, 2009, 3:57 p.m. CST

    Come on Kevin. We need a hit.

    by hallmitchell

    It's there dude. Why aren't you making hits. Why don' t you make a sci fi or comic film. That is such a strength of yours. Yet you seem to be going out of your way to make one. Anyway I'll be buying Cacophony 3.

  • March 4, 2009, 5:12 p.m. CST

    Yeah Cacophony #3

    by Series7

    Will buy it later since its not hard to find but come on, why the price hike.

  • March 4, 2009, 5:41 p.m. CST

    John McClane Turned Into Superman

    by fastcars

    And Tracy Morgan is hilarious. That is all.

  • March 4, 2009, 6:26 p.m. CST

    always been minimally talented

    by Dragon

    I've caught a few of his films lately, and watched dvd extras. Zak and Miri was tragically unfunny, especially when you view it in the context of the deleted scenes, which were a god-awful attempt at improv humor. Seth Rogen was just annoying. Clerks 2 had potential and then quickly devolved into his worst tendencies, going for the cheap crude laugh. Does anyone think his male donkey show was funny? And the thing that bugs me about the guy, he seems nice enough, but his ego grows to epic proportions whenever he talks about himself and his films. Watching the 90 min doc that is included with Clerks 2 gives real insight into where Smith thinks he stands in the film world. Thinking that Clerks 2 had any business being screened at Cannes takes some real hubris. Then talking about how he got an 8 minute "standing ovation" after the screening, how it was the highlight of his life. Really makes me wonder how they were able to get so many French derelicts to show up and then bow down for a Z-grade filmmaker. I hope he ends up directing this movie, because it will really expose him for what he is; a vision-less fanboy who got lucky and has been riding his own coattails for 15 years now.

  • March 4, 2009, 6:50 p.m. CST

    Moonlighting reunion directed by Kevin Smith

    by lockesbrokenleg

  • March 4, 2009, 6:59 p.m. CST

    I used to defend Smith on the talkbacks...

    by beastie

    ... but if I was to be completely honest - I haven't much enjoyed any of his films since Chasing Amy. Yes, Dogma felt like too early of a draft of what could have been great.</P><p> Anyway, this is the last straw for me as a previous die-hard Smith fan. I was sooooooo hoping for Red State to re-prove his genius, but if he's gonna do this, it's gonna take a lot of winning back - fanwise.

  • March 4, 2009, 7:09 p.m. CST

    I don't get it

    by TedKordLives

    I thought Clerks II was pretty good, a study of male friendship(and relationships in general) and how the dynamics change as they age. Or not, in Randall's case. Sure, it's not great-only Mallrats is great, and that's only because I was in high school.

  • March 4, 2009, 9:31 p.m. CST

    Tracy Morgan-Why? he's not funny

    by j2talk

  • March 4, 2009, 9:32 p.m. CST

    'course Kevin Smith can do no wrong......

    by j2talk

  • March 4, 2009, 10:54 p.m. CST

    this is funny...

    by JRyanH

    reading all the geeks on here bitching about kevin smith. the guy has a life you fucks could only dream about. at least he got off of his fat ass and made something of himself. and calling him a hack? do you people even know the definition of a "hack"?

  • March 5, 2009, 2:32 a.m. CST

    Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma

    by Toby_FN_Wong

    and then Kevin Smith's career was over. I wonder why he can't make movies like that anymore. He deserves all the criticism he gets.

  • March 5, 2009, 2:32 a.m. CST


    by Citizen Sane

  • March 5, 2009, 5:23 a.m. CST

    nothing wrong with Jersy Girl

    by j2talk

    unless you cant get your head around the fact that he was trying to grow as a story teller...and his Evening with... films are easily the most entertaining films I've seen in a long time.....

  • March 5, 2009, 10:20 a.m. CST

    Maybe Smith should do commercials.

    by mrfan

    Short, sweet, and to the point.

  • March 5, 2009, 12:25 p.m. CST

    Where can you always find....

    by Roguewriter

    ... the saddest bunch of bitch-ass failures, the dorks even other dorks rightly mock and impugn? Oh yeah, that's right, in any AICN Talkback that mentions Kevin Smith. Enjoy being such unhappy assholes, do you? A shame you can't resist trying to sully a good dude's name, and that you continue to bring down the real estate value of AICN while doing so. Can't you go whine about it on your Facebook page that no one reads, something like that? Sad fucks.

  • March 5, 2009, 5:17 p.m. CST

    Brett Ratner also has a life...

    by veebeeyes

    that I could only dream about. But that doesn't make his movies any less shit.

  • March 6, 2009, 3:37 a.m. CST

    It figures that Smith would have his bitches..

    by Stalkeye

    post in this thread defending his sorry ass.And no fuckwits I don't envy or dream about the life Smith has had he's just not funny or talented.(Seen Clerks 2 or Zack and Miri lately?)Yeah, he's got it so made that he had to close his Comic shop; Secret Stash.Defend that lard ass all you want, I just don't see the big deal about Smith, just like he can't understand what's so big about Jack Kirby.<p>Muthafuckin Meh!