Cool News
Moriarty reviews WATCHMEN!
Hey folks, Harry here... Moriarty has reviewed WATCHMEN too - and even though we never talk, and he's forsaken me, Quint and all of you. It would just seem wrong to not link out to his diatribe against WATCHMEN... um... wait... He like it? Man, how much was he paid? Right? Couldn't be that he just really dug it, right? Here ya go...
After his review, sign up to comment on his new site and ask Moriarty about the time he had blue balls in Vegas! CLICK HERE!
While reading all these reviews, you might need help staying awake... may I suggest the following refreshment?
NITE OWL's Own Coffee - Served in Archie!
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Huh huh did it?
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I'm not signing up for something that sounds like a cheap knockoff of my favorite movie rental website. Nope, not even to bitch at or applaud Mori.
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I was wondering where he went all this time.
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Nice to throw the guy a bone, but this is just sad.
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I enjoy differing types and styles, and still, after all these years, hearing the different familliar voices here on AICN specifically... but Drew is of of a different standard. I'm glad this was posted, because he deserves more readers than Hitfix seems to be getting.
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Not clicking it.
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Less slober more substance.
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What, is he in Russia? ;)
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nice harry. Its about time someone sufficently mocked these self richeous pricks
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I still don't know why Marty left?
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Mori was said a lot without saying much at all. He never seemed to really convey that he enjoyed watching movies or writing about them.
I still liked him because he was a part of this site and sometimes made some points I agreed with. That said, I looked at the new site when he first left and I didn't like it and don't need another movie web site in my life.
That was cool of Harry to link it though... -
i don't know, it's just not apeshit surreal gonzo wackadoo like this place is.
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Jesus, Harry, at least re-read your posts ONCE before posting them. What you wrote hardly made any sense at all. WTF?
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mory is better than most at AICN, sure. but his taste is just as questionable as most of the staff. plus, harry gives us hugs while i sense nothing but disdain from mori. he really hate the talkbackers.
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Not the glowing review stuff. The whole not talking and forsaken stuff. He's been around. Hardly anyone leaves comments on his hitfix posts. That sorta sucks.
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It's for leprechauns, who, due to their diminutive size, are used to reading small print.
It's not eyecatching. It's not fun. It's not AICN. -
Mori was a fuckin' asshole. No offense. Ran me off this site. So, I wipe my ass with his reviews. Who gives a fuck.
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Somebody will adopt that as their new talkback name, muy pronto.
That pretty much pegs this site, drturing. -
10 times better than Masturdon.
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does this mean they made an "edited for tv" version of his scenes for the trailers? or are those just the few scenes where he's wearing something? and a question from someone who never read the comic, if rorschach is just a regular human, how come his mask "moves" that way? some kinda magic or something?
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but I miss Quint's AMAD a heckuva lot more. Although it did seem that Mori provided a certain cantankerous style (perhaps maturity?), I do seem to recall his distaste, nay his vitriol regarding some of the talkbacks and their participants.
I was always reminded of the ol' put the flaming paper bag filled with dogshit on the old man's porch and watch him react the same way, everytime gag.
Still, where would we be without our codgers that remind us of how it used to be, in the dark ages, when people still had gills?
Where would we be? -
if you had written a draft of Mortal Kombat V you'd feel above most talkbackers. ahem.
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They need a stylized design before I'll go there. It's such a generic layout. Examples of site layouts that I enjoy? Here and Giantbomb.com for instance.
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fucking terrifying android like some strange animatronic that got free from Disney and went on a folksy rampage with all the affectations of Billy Mays or am I too baked?
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And she likes Michael Turner comic books and defends conventiongoers as "passionate" and has smartass things to say about Michael Bay. Just reiterating it before we all get off point.
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just as rorshach's demise is suicide its all a fucking joke
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love, Mr. Subtlety
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I'm so happy Drew is gone. I've been here since damn near the beginning, and his high horse will not be missed. Talkbackers get a lot a shit thrown at them, some of it deserved, but it shouldn't come from the writers of the site. A point that McWeeney missed time and time again. I guess when you write the masterpiece that was cigarette burns, you forget the little people. Douche!
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When did Moriarty leave the site? And Quint? Seriously, I had no idea they were gone.
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Manual Override
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fuckin amateur!
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... people miss the distinction between disliking certain talkbackers and disliking all talkbackers. I'm the one who constantly asked talkbackers to contribute to the site. Mr. Beaks was a talkbacker, and I eventually was able to get him to become a regular reviewer here. When a group of talkbackers hated the AICN Comics section, I worked with them to become the Talkback League Of Assholes, who still handle all the comics reviews here. The lie that I hate all talkbackers is a particularly ridiculous one, because there's plenty of proof otherwise. If you personally feel wronged by me, then allow me put your mind at ease... it's not talkback. It's just you.
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That fucker needs to hire an editor or some shit.
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More than anyone else, it was your review I was most looking forward to reading. It seems you loved it sincerely, and not out of some obligation to pay back Zack or the studio for any favors or special treatment you've received along the way, at least I'd like to think so! I'm so jazzed for this movie, will be a hard couple more weeks til I feast my eyes on it.
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motion captured has increasingly been finding its way into my regular browsing rotation, but something about seeing your reviews posted (or in this case, linked) here just seems so right. glad to hear you liked it. between your review and devin faraci's, my anticipation has officially reached fever pitch.
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it doesn't have angie jo's ass crack in it
No Spam Jackson or Will Smiff
What the hell were they thinking? -
Feb 24, 2009 10:24:05 PM CST
Hitfix is for pussies. Moriarty needs to come back
by most excellent ninja
because it would be TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION!
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..am I still gonna 'get it'??? Whats all the fuss about? Meh
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You double talking hypocrite. You're the only writer ever to inspire fans of this site to create their own websites like defacer and scorched earth who printed your weak ass scripts and you had to take legal action to shut them down. You Sir, suck and lost all touch with what made this site so awesome when it started. How many people have you banned for simple disagreements of your opinions? I know I'm like I'm on my 4th or 5th screen name because of your pettiness. Don't come on here now and cry that you've been misunderstood. Those of us that have been here long enough know your contempt of talkbackers despite how you want to rewrite history. I do feel personally wronged, but that's ok because you're writing for some site now that isn't getting 1/4 of the hits this site gets. Don't go away mad, just go away.
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i guess that's why Bush won twice...too many people in these parts prefer fellow neanderthals.
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If only we could get the hatred for ScriptGirl addressed... Also, I left a comment at HitFix. Good god man, you've got to make your text a bit bigger for our eyes! Right now you're at the same level as CHUD! And that sign in security system where you have to type in the blurry words is awful. 70% of the time I'm typing it incorrectly bc I can't distinguish between the letters.
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a question from someone who never read the comic, if rorschach is just a regular human, how come his mask "moves" that way? some kinda magic or something?
Rorschach's mask was originally a woman's dress made with 'Dr. Manhattan' technology to have moving blobs on it. Rorschach rescues it from being discarded, learns how to cut the fabric using heated implements, and fashions it into his masks. -
i.e. its not going to be on Dark Knight or Spiderman scale, Hellboy ??
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The "power of the penis" line made me laugh out loud. I'm kind of curious which critic got all up and arms about it now.
It's going to be nearly a 90 minute drive to the closest IMAX theater to see this and it sounds like it'll be worth the time. -
too long...WAAAAAAY too fuckin long
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I'm currently on chapter 8 of the GN, and I can't for the life of me see how this is going to work on film. But I'm hoping against hope.
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made it feel like old times... I read motion captured but of course I miss Mori here... Has a different feel...
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Umm, which element? Mori says something fell flat, but then never follows up later in the review. Or it gets really downplayed.
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Moriarty can take his review, his site and his condescending pretentious must see project and shove them up his ass. He's no film geek, he's a fucking rectal worm.
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was the way Nixon was handled. I thought that was pretty clear.
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He was the most insightful reviewer on the site. Now we just have Beaks and of course Harry's filmic ejaculations of splendor which are entertaining in their own right.
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... sounds like I'm gonna need a bigger ass with all the stuff you want to shove up it. And I've got a big ass already, so that's saying something!
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... I rest my case. You're such a ball of sunshine, I can't imagine why anyone would have ever disinvited you from talkback.
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You must still get paid by the word. Dickens, rejoice!
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Feb 24, 2009 11:44:24 PM CST
Will this movie be better than Street Fighter?
by spifftacular squirrel girl
Getting to see Direct-to-DVD quality on the big screen doesn't happen too often so I'm really looking foward to that.
Just counting down the hours until we see the Massawrym review. Can't wait. -
...and came crawling back to AICN? is this the first sign of that?
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i miss him, he balanced out this site nicely...even if he did smack down a few talkbackers in his day, doesn't that just make him MORE like "us"?
though i must say, the new site gives me trouble. the format for posting comments is a pain, sometimes not working at all. and i lose interest when the comment I so diligently typed out doesn't show up...lacks the conversational vibe of a good talkback, too. -
Obviously, this film's going to bomb... HARD. A naked blue guy who's America's ultimate weapon??? COME ON! Why can't these studio promoters make their "reviews" less obvious? >:(
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Calm down. You don't even know the guy. And most talkbackers are gleefully hateful. If half the shit that was slung at Mori was slung at you, you'd be in a fit of apopleptic rage. What we have here is a failure to communicate.
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Seriously, his reviews were always the best. He didn't suck any cocks like Harry does. I can't stand Harry's reviews. I feel like I'm reading verbal dick sucking of every studio exec.
Mori was honest, and to the point. He doesn't sugar coat his reviews. He's a talented writer.
And as far as the people here taking offense, lets face it. The majority of you act like a bunch of pretentious assholes who can't think for themselves. And when you do, we all realize why you normally don't, because every thought spewing from that keyboard is completely idiotic and completely not thought out.
Mori, keep doing what you're doing. Now that I know you're reviewing on another site, I'll be checking that more often then this one.
Less talkbackers = less idiots. -
... how am I condescending? Seriously. Oh, no, I made a wisecrack back at some guy who just ranted and raved about how much he hates me. That makes me condescending?
I think the truth is that some people love to be offended, and even if I came here and did nothing but praise the genius and wit of each and every talkbacker, there'd still be people lining up to take shots. That's always been the case. I'm not condescending... I just reached the point a long time ago where I don't pretend that every single opinion offered here is equally worthwhile or welcomed. -
Go to Roger Ebert's blog. They actually have real intelligent discussion there. Instead AICN talkback is a fairly entertaining bitch fest. Nothing wrong with that but some of you guys just need to simmer down, take a hit, and just chill, man. Just chill out.
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you are so much better here.
(and I can read the font) -
And that's why Moriarty barks back at some of you dumbasses. Have you ever been around a constantly negative person for a long period of time? It sucks. You begin to hate that person. That's how he feels about some of you. Every time he posts something condescending, it's because you personally attack him.
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Yes, over there, they get shit done.
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...to not talk about the changes to the end of the film in your review. Nicely played.
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just the ones that disagree with him. Duh!
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... not even that. Just the ones who use social skills here that no one would ever dare utilize in the real world. I disagree with my friends all the time about movies and politics and any number of things. But there's a way to do that which doesn't involve telling someone to "go fuck yourself."
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If you think about it, "Go fuck yourself" isn't really an insult. It's just encouraging someone to masturbate, which is more weird than anything else.
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But Harry is two steps shy of being Hollywoods Terri Shiavo incarnate.
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At the very least..at least Moriarty doesnt follow some bullshit fucking "embargo".
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Just posts the fucking review..and not the four fucking meals he had leading up to it
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Go fuck yourself
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... I'm working on it. Danke.
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This review is too long and badly written. The highlighted blurb of text on HitFix came across as desperate and tacky. It screams, "Here's the money quote, juicy adjectives and all! Please put me on your DVD/Blu-Ray box!" The actual review does not begin until the seventh paragraph. Or is it the eighth? I lost count. It's all a blur. McWeeney seems to think it's important that we know that he first found the Watchmen trade paperback at a flea market at Florida State University (even though the story was issued in 12 comic book issues long before), and that his first exposure to the writing of Alan Moore was another trade paperback - in this instance, Swamp Thing. Not one of these boring anecdotes has anything whatsoever to do with the actual Watchmmen film, only with McWeeney himself and his banal backstory. Awash in his own putrid hubris, he assumes we are interested in him, the "critic," as opposed to the actual film he is suppoosed to be reviewing. McWeeny then goes on to describe a a group of people he encountered outside of the Beverly Wilshire hotel who were dressed as Watchmen characters...I simply cannot continue. It just gets worse from there. Watchmen may very well be "a profound work of art" (Did McWeeney really write that sophmoric blurb? Sadly, yes.), and we can all decide the issue once we see the film for ourselves. One thing we can instantly determine, however, is that this review is the work of a rank amatueur, a preening peacock who can't stop staring at his own reflection long enough to tell us whether the Watchmen film is worth our dollars, or not.
Ah, just busting balls Mori! GREAT review man! In depth and from the heart, as per usual. Thanks very much. I can't wait to see it. Good work, sir. -
on tv.
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Here's a trick. Hold down Ctrl, then spin your mouse wheel.
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Okay.... 6 fucking paragraphs of bullshit before we even get to his view on the movie. Pretty fucking weak. Christ. I can't believe you get paid to write that tripe.
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would love to know what he thought
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suck my dick. also you should email me cos you're a cunt.
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Is harry just busting chops all good-natured-like in articles like this, or was there an actual falling-out? It's hard to tell sometimes. It may not be any of our business, but I've been wondering whether he's kidding or actually being a dick.
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AHHHHHHHHHH I want TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION!
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I'm guessing he's in hibernation mode until June and Transformers 2 comes around.
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its just so wrong for it to be here
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I dare you ... Triple Dog Dare you to come back and attempt to sincerely praise the brilliance and intellect of each and every talkbacker. That sounds like a Charlie Kaufman installation piece.
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His black box is still here. As to the Headgeek's comment on the intellect of talkbackers. He's absolutely right. Unless someone else can provide an explanation as to why we bother to keep coming back here.
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also the layout on the Hitdix site is absolutely awful.
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Wow didn't know that guy was still doing stuff...
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I'm going to get a cup of tea and a bagel and read it again.
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Well, I'm not here for the intellectual discourse. The fact is, some of the funniest comments I've ever read online have been made by talkbackers on this site, and it's usually while they are ripping the shit out of Harry, or a writer/director, or a fellow talkbacker.
Any dipshit can call someone an asshole, or say that a movie sucked. But some of the insults bandied about on this site border on poetry, especially when it comes to reviewing a movie. -
I'm actually a huge fan of Moriarty/Drew's writing and reviews. I posted a negative comment about him in another talkback because that's the cool thing to do. As a writer and reviewer, he's probably the best I've read on this site and I respect his generally level-headed attitude. However, the way he carries himself in talkbacks and his reactions to the type of stuff that a person should probably just let slide, are not only completely out of touch with reality, but laughably absurd. I won't lie - it's fun to see him get riled up and that's probably why people do it. It's like showing the little kids in gym class your weak spot. You shouldn't do it and you shouldn't be surprised when they fucking attack the shit out of it.
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As a blatantly cynical person myself, I admire his lack of candy coating the "go fuck yourselves."
Some people had terrible childhoods, and as a result still in their adult lives act like goddamn morons to get the attention. Negative attention is better than no attention I suppose. But I'd rather read a Mori review than any shit half of these whiney, never be happy, hate a film theyve never even seen before, talk back thriving hate vultures.
Oh, great review Drew. -
forgot to throw that word in their. /rant
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I'd like to read at least one proof-read review on this site. Seriously, Mori is a good writer, sometimes a bit long winded but his articles are always well thought out.
Kiss and make up Harry. Hitfix is just not cutting it. The navigation is a nightmare and as someone pointed out before, the text is fucking tiny and I feel like I'm on a geocities site when I go there, which I admit isn't very often.
Come back on here Drew or just start your own site! -
http://tinyurl.com/7bvb3y
it talks about AICN too. -
I read the original article put in dumbest quotes of the year and that was not by a staffer but by a talkbacker. and putting Harry in the same league as those people is fucking wrong.
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still a bit dubious about those watchmen ads at the side of your review though.
with regards to what people refer to your pretentious tone. well to be honest, i've read your stuff for over 1o years and i must admit that a hint of pretention has entered your writing in the last 2 or 3 years. its not the end of the world but the claim is not entirely without foundation.
however you are right, some people lose all social manners, just because its a talk back doesn't mean its ok to behave like that -
he actually has far more restraint than Moriarty. He gets insulted pretty much hourly but takes the wise route by not getting into shit slinging with monkeys. Moriarty on the other hand takes the bait nearly every time ... While I understand the temptation, he just makes things worse. For instance, I only ever got annoyed by him after reading his obnoxious TB responses. Or maybe it was the gratuitous family talk in his reviews ... blech.Btw if people are really getting spammed from hitfix cause of email accounts on file here, that is shameful.
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No wonder he's so uptight.Seriously, Mori should take a look at Harry. Harry writes hyperbolic bollocks most of the time, and he gets shit flung at him from all angles for it. However he generally deals with it with a bit of humour, treats it all as silly banter. Which is what it is.Mori on the other hand comes across as utterly humourless, and unable to handle criticism. Which is why many here don't like him, regardless of how good/bad his reviews are.
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I couldn't agree with Mori more. 99% of the posters here are fucking idiots. This site is renowned worldwide for having the worst talkbacks. Everyone thinks they know how to make the greatest movie possible and then spend months crying about fucking flames or bat nipples. Get a fucking life losers.
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go fuck yourself. that is all.
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Oh no...the movie doesn't suck! What are you going to do now? Well you can now complain about Wolverine Origins, Transformers 2, and GI-JOE. Have fun.
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Seriously, Whoever you are needs to stop playing with it. That site was a puss filled scab of scary young boys with huge confidence and penis problems. WHO CARES if you got dissed on talkback 7 years or more ago. LET IT GO! Relax and then grab it again and have your 10th wank to megan fox for the days...cause now she is single and you've got a chance!
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I loved him in Welcome Back Kotter
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Is it just because of the Talkbackers? Can someone tell me why him and Harry don't get along anymore?
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...just jumped the shark.
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My problem with him is centred around him going into the Lost S3 TB and goading people with what was going to happen... then shutting the thread down when someone calls his bluff and posts the full spoilers. The blaming us for ruining the thread. If he didn't post the fricking teasers, chances are no-one would've spoiled the ep.
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Sure, he THINKS he can be more successful out in the big wide world, but we all know he's better off right here.
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WOW! That website must be from the future with the fancy avatars and colors. I wonder if they have an edit button. Nah, that's like Star Trek level technology.
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miss mori. it was nice to see his name here.
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God love ya, man. Screw these jackanapes...
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That is all.
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It's true that Drew IS a bit... cranky sometimes. But you can't deny he's a hell of a writer. That was a great, thoughtful review. Though, after reading "Travis Bickle in a mask" for the hundredth time, I'm beginning to roll my eyes.
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...when his REAL name is Arty Morty?
(^-- Who got this one?)
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After many months of patiently ignoring your myopic, inane, overly zealous, juvenile and irrational insults and exclamations, I have come to the conclusion that you're worthy of only one, final response:Fuck off, troll.
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Good review, as usual. Would've liked some analysis of the Big Plot Alteration near the end, but between Harry and Quint's review, I'm satisfied. Doubt I'll like the change, but sounds like there's much more to like than dislike. Looking forward to it...
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Let's call him the Andy Richter of AICN.
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Is there a reason that EVERY other fucking review on here has to start with five paragraph exploration of the life and times of the author, and their current position in the "feelgood rainbow?"
Write the damn review, or better still hire an editor. We don't need to know or care "how you feel", when you had you first wank, your emotional state when holding a comic.
It's self absorbed twatery, and a warning to us all about the dangers of too much psychotherapy. -
Feb 25, 2009 9:17:31 AM CST
A well-written, interesting and considered review, Moriarty
by movietool
You should try this writing thing as a career or something.
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...Considering he has nothing to say. How can you blame a persons attention for wavering when the first 4 paragraphs are completely irrelevant to the criticism of the film. That fat fuck Devin at CHUD is also retard lengthy, only he actually wants to discuss the film, and can write well enough to hold a readers attention. " But you can't deny he's a hell of a writer." Until you witness the results of his typing, that is.
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I don't even recognize your username. You mean nothing to me.
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Too true about that Lost TB. I'd forgotten that.
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..... 10 paragraphs later: that's when me and tetsuo decided it was a SHIT FILM. It would have been EXCELLENT if I FUCKING WROTE THE THING.
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Good. Mission accomplished.
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You know, the one you would poke at and taunt just because he would spaz out and get so irate?
Not because you really were pissed at him or really meant what you were saying, but just becuase you knew he couldn't resist coming in and going spazzy and swinging his arms and yelling in indignation, and it was so much fun to know you were able to unleash the pent up spazzy outrage so easily.
Nice to see you back Mori, and it's comforting to know that you can still be summoned to a talkback if the right buttons are pushed.
(for the record, I was that spazzy kid) -
Which wouldn't really matter if the guy had talent, taste, or a modicum of decency. But he has none of those things, at all. His "screenwriting" is so bad as to be unreadable, he has no taste in film, and he's a prick. Moriarty is just a typical geek, once he gets a little taste of recognition or acceptance it goes to his head and he becomes a supreme asshole who thinks his shit don't stink. But don't worry, in the industry, he is not respected at all, if they even know who he is. He is a terrible writer and people know it. Glad to see some TB'ers have some sense, or maybe Moriarty is too tired to keep posting kudos about himself under all his various aliases and talkback names here. Moriarty, no one respects you. No one misses you. No one really gives a shit about you or your opinion, they don't give a shit about your wife or your kid, they don't give a shit about your childhood. No one cares. And the only reason I care enough to even post is because I know it drives you crazy to see anyone criticize you, and that makes me laugh. Cause there's nothing I like better than to insult a self-important smug prick such as yourself. Now go take a fucking shower dude, you STINK!!
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this hard ass motherfucker in your face: http://tinyurl.com/day6ge im sure this guy will FUCK YOUR SHIT UP. nice glasses bro, you get those at the D & D convention?
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He realizes that their is always a compromise when big money and big studios are involved.
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Feb 25, 2009 10:18:14 AM CST
RowdyRoddyStriper -- BUT CAN YOU SMELL HIM?!!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
You sick fuck. Still jerking off to Mori's man scent? Hahaha. You're a joke.
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I just don't understand the reactions of some talkbackers. I first started to come on AICN many years ago, because I just loved how the movie reviews were written... I don't mind reading 4 paragraphs before getting to the core of the subject. I love it when the reviewers explain their mood toward a movie. Those explanation are the geeky part of the review and also, the reasons why I love them. It is clear that some people come on AICN and just don't get it. They are here to start a war or something. They're here because, they are rejects in their real life and they can come here and say F*** Y** to the reviewers and feel good about it. It gives them a feeling that they have some power but, it just shows how stupid they are really. In a way, they are jealous of the people working for this site.
Mori, I missed what happened that made you leave AICN. I was on a leave for my newborn baby and when I came back, you were gone. I miss you and your reviews. I just learned about your new site today. Although, it is not AICN, I will certainly visit it to be able to read your reviews. I wish you'd come back on here but, since I don't know what happened, I don't know if it is possible. Hopefully, it will happen some day... or, Hitflix will become less mainstream and more of a geek place and I'll get to visit it more often.
Good luck! -
I highly doubt it. You're treading on sacred ground now and maybe being ever so slightly hyperbolic.
Still, enjoyed the review and am even more excited now to see it. -
I never knew you could do that. Now I wonder if this internet thingy has any access to pornography?
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Feb 25, 2009 10:23:14 AM CST
On hitfix you have to confirm two words for every comment
by soylentmean
That's lame. But you get avatars, only it won't accept mine. WTF?
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Until he became a talkbacker insulting whining bitch.
Now he's gone, I find I don't miss him. -
I like his reviews (even the ones I don't agree with) and think he's a good writer. I do read his stuff on Hitfix regularly.
I think he can be too wordy, and takes himself a bit too seriously at times, but I think that's just more of a personality trait and writing style, as opposed to a character flaw.
It has always been fun, though, to scroll through a talkback and look for those black posts of his where he just can't bite his tongue any longer, and where he just has to lash out and defend himself and get all worked up. I picture him with arms flailing, spittles of indignation flying, fists balled in fury. He just incapable of standing back and ignoring it, his skin is thin. -
I just know you're going to respond to negative talkbackers every time...and then you do. It's like fishing--people try to get you to bite and it works. It's been that way for a long time now. Just ignore them and interact with the talkbackers who actually have some intelligence. I appreciate your work, but you cheapen yourself when you stoop to their level...
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What is a Watchmen? I have just returned from Planet Nordberg after 20 years fighting in the Dactar Rebel Malitia. Excuse my questions; Is the Nite Owl a bird? Is the Comedian a funny guy? Alf sure was a funny dude, is he still around?
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step one: Post something about Harry's weight
step two: Post something about Moriarty's real name
step three: Call out Moriarty with generic bull-baiting adjectives like "condescending" and "elitist"
step four: wait for him to inevitably respond to your bull-baiting
step five: see step two
step six: type anything that contains the phrase "edit button"
step seven: get your first account banned
step eight: register a name that mocks Moriarty. Like "Morihighhorse" or "Mori's adopted son Skooshi-Mooshie"
step nine: SQUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID
step ten: overuse the skills. -
It's like McCartney and Lennon breaking up.
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that in order to rack up collosal pageviews, like this website here, you need to post stuff that causes outraged people to discuss and post over and over and over and over again. I mean seriously all this squid talk has been tremendous for AICN's pageview and ad count, thus its revenue. Outrage is the way to economic prosperity and fame on the Internet, and Hitfix with Drew in a vacuum not raging at everyone who obviously in AICN talkback tends to aim for the lowest point we can just makes it too polite.
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did you have to blow the dust off that punchline before you posted it, or what?
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he will write how the extras did a good job acting in every review; every single actor gets praise from him, always. Even if they're just hot and standing in the background.
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Couple things...Thank you for the review and coming back to AICN Talkback to knock a few heads. Nice!Second, how come we never really got a formal/official farewell? Your departure was rather low-key and somewhat strange considering your prominent role on this site.The reason I ask is that I've always enjoyed your reviews and contributions over the past few years. So, I was sorry to see that particular aspect of the site leave. And while I've been checking out your blog at HitFix, I just don't know if I can join another online community. AICN has served as my film/entertainment home for few years now. There is (was) a certain ribaldness to it that can't be found elsewhere. (Strangely enough, having said that, I find that I'm growing weary of the current tone here.)
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Feb 25, 2009 11:07:21 AM CST
As for Moriarty's interaction with certain Talkbackers...
by mr. nice gaius
...did any of you stop to think that maybe he just likes to respond in kind?!
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Does he really think this is a compliment to an actor or the profession itself?
"You can't fake the pain that he brings to his performance. You can't just turn on hard experience like a light switch, and Haley's got it all going on behind those sad eye" ...
A good actor can, otherwise, he isn't acting, but merely playing a version himself. Your characterization of the performance might be spot-on, but it's best to leave back-handed compliments like this to yourself.
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What the hell is that? I do like having another movie site to peruse, but it's format is lacking. Besides, how the hell are you supposed to comment when you're drunk off your ass if you have to try and discern two words before commenting? It's absurd.
AICN is safe in the realm of internet talkback capabilities. Even without the availability of an "edit button" it's ease of use is second to none. -
Great review (ignore the shit being slung by the TBers). Also, those ripping into Harry should have noticed how his reviews have got better over the last year or so. I enjoy reading them. Quint is as good as always.
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You were always helpful to me, and I want to return the favor. Hitfix will be gone within a year, whatever you're trying to do-- there are already 10 other sites that do it better. People do not value your opinion enough to just go there for YOU. The forecast gimmick......not gonna work. Facebook is doing something like this with the power of 200 million members behind it. The only way you will survive is to implement some sort of serious TB like function to destroy AICN. And I'm not talking bullshit comments feature where 4 assholes post. I'm talking a serious fucking place for discussion under each story. I can get shit shakin' if you reach across the aisle and offer me a black-box. I'm ready to jump ship and join you. The forecast has gotta go, that bitch from the record industry has gotta go, you gotta offer Quint a job to do his A Movie A Week Feature and you gotta add a little wackiness to the whole thing. AICN works because its fucking wacky. Nobody wants dead serious movie reviews with a nose in the fucking air, online. The internet is a casual place for slobs and sex addicts. Put a little fun back into it!! I can help you. I can make you rise up. The Balebackers would jump ship at the drop of a fucking hat if there was someplace more hospitable to hang. CONQUER LIFE, AND YOU SHALL CONQUER DEATH. Of course....you won't listen to me. Because you want to be Serious Movie Critic Guy now. And that is why you will fail. -
For someone with so much to be grateful for -- fame, decent coin, never-ending swag, a job you love that cannot be separated from your favorite activites, influence, recognition, a wife, improving health -- you sure are a whiny bitch. This site's grown like gangbusters since the early days, but even IT is not so large as to accomodate your ego, let alone anyone else's. I applaud you for helping promote Moriarity's new endeavour, but, really, enough with the not-so-subtle jabs and scarcely-concealed hurt. Be happy for the guy, for crying out loud. Everyone knows you gave him his break. Take some satisfaction in the knowledge that you're not just a personality, but a mentor.
Oh, and, btw, I thought your review of 'Watchmen' was very very good, one of the best you've posted in years. Thoughtful, reflective, transparent. You've still got it, partner... You just have to find that place more often. -
I believe the correct quote is, "that is why you fail." Geek 101, man.
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What the fuck? Seriously dude.....get the fuck over it. Try to act like its all fun innocent jabs-- bullshit. There is some serious resentment underneath all that nonsense. Saying all of the reviews on his site will put you to sleep? Thats the sort of shit TB'ers would say. But we aren't personal friends with Mori going back what....12 years? To most of us you guys are just a name we bitch at. Fuck. I'm sure you would throw out those sort of comments with your other good friend Quentin Tarantino, right?
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But Vern, being the honourable motherfucker that he is would probably never defect.
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Like Mr. Nice Gauis, I too am curious as to why he left as he did. Moriarty was a big part of AICN for a long time and he accumulated a considerable number of loyal readers on this site. Then one day, he was just gone. I don't recall any type of "farewell" or "thank you" to the readers or the administrators of AICN. It was as though he just said "Frak it" and slipped out in the middle of the night. I didn't even know he had another website of his own until I stumbled across the fact in some Talkback.AICN certainly lost something when he left. Moriarty may have ticked a lot of Talkbackers off but at least he was pretty consistent with pumping out the film reviews. Harry only seems to write them when the spirit moves him. And Mori was thorough. Loved how he would include links on his Top Ten list to the reviews of every film included on the list.
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Please buy his book. It really isn't that much money, and I know he doesn't get paid for what he does here. Vern is always able to get into a TB and be funny and disarming without resorting to over the top flame war, too.
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Feb 25, 2009 12:23:11 PM CST
Moriarty, like all of the regular reviewers at AICN, is. . .
by heyscot
a giant bag of awesomeness!
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Yeah... but Lennon and McCartney had talent!
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It always seemed to me that Drew always saw film journalism as a stop gap. A bill paying gig until he made it as a screenwriter. The irony is that the guy is a truly excellent critic but a pretty mediocre screenwriter. It'd be a shame if he couldn't enjoy the talents that he has because he's bitter about the talent he doesn't have. Then again, I don't even know the guy, so what the fuck do I know?
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...in download and actual book form Worth every penny too.
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I think DGDB is too busy flooring it, lobbing TB grenades, and starting shit to notice irony. Just an observation.
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Feb 25, 2009 12:35:43 PM CST
As for Vern, I think Mori has pimped him over at HitFix.
by mr. nice gaius
Meanwhile, AICN hasn't run a Vern review in quite sometime. At least not that I recall.Vern is a great writer and can be just as abrasive as Mori. Not to mention the fact that he is a certified troll-slayer and has given AICN at least 2 of the greatest Talkbacks of all fucking time.
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It was in the Spike Jonze Where The Wild Things Are interview. He didn't make a post specifically to announce he was leaving, he hid it in there figuring the readers that enjoy his material will be reading that interview, so they will be the ones to find it. I couldn't believe people were all stunned a month later.
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Go ahead and believe thats irony. There is clearly some animosity there. But if you guys like to pretend everything is all pretty and peaceful, then go ahead.
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I know what you mean. They're trying too hard to seem that everything is nicey nicey and that they're all pally. The big clue is: Mori leaves after 12 years, and then Harry's partner of how many years suddenly gets a column in the space of a month. Funny that.
How are you anyway, Dickblood? -
And he gets all preachy and shit, which gets really fucking annoying. I think that comes with the territory of being an ex-con. The ones that go straight always expect people to be angels around them and everyone feels like they have to behave different when they walk into a room. And don't pretend he is some unstoppable force. I've seen plenty a TB'ers tell him to shut the fuck up and he backed off. And remember the Sex and the City fiasco with "Crying and bleeding on the mattress" bit? Massa told Vern to back the fuck off and the TB'ers mobbed him until he ran off. More often than not Vern gets told. But that being said.....I do own his book because I too have an appreciation for all things Seagal, and I think it is immensely fucked up and greedy of Harry not to pay the poor bastard while he rakes in the cash and brags about how much free shit he gets. I have rallied for Hercules to be fired-- and for Vern to be paid on many occasions, even though I don't really fancy him. Oh and as a so-called fan of action films, Vern doesn't like Jason Statham, which is just inexcusable in my book.
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Welcome back. Sadly, you missed all the Bale action.
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after the button review.
and where the fuck is Vern? I pop by his site every now and again, but why isn't he here? -
Harry doesn't pay these fuckers?
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That shit has been reposted, erasing all the original talkback comments. Something screwy there. Somebody knows too much.
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...is that he gave as good as he got, didn't apologize for having an opinion or expressing it, rarely took actual offense, and never griped about how unfair it was that everyone didn't always agree with him. He took all comers, took criticism and insults and contrary opinions like a man, and though he could certainly put the occasional offender in his place, never seemed to really mind the hostility and hatred and hissy-fittedness he regularly inspired. He would have gotten along well in the military, and that's about the highest praise I can offer a long-haired greaseball oxygen-wasting nublet civvie puke. [Grin]
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These talkbacks are too much of laugh to just pack up and leave.
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Oh I agree. Its the best free entertainment on the planet. Even porn, which I adore, isn't nearly as satisfying.
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Porn + Talkbacks = Kurt Lockwood = Not so good!
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Feb 25, 2009 1:03:53 PM CST
Yes, menstrual_blitz. I believe it was the BENJAMIN BUTTON revi
by mr. nice gaius
...where Mori made his announcement. I remember him saying that it was a gradual switch-over process that was going to take like 6 weeks or something.I, like many others, were kind of shocked to see that there wasn't a more formal farewell. You know, like with cake and tributes and stuff.
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I dunno why I was thinking of that Spike Jonze interview.
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......then FUCK!!!!
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DGDG, just because you were privy to the one exchange between Vern and Massa doesn't mean that's the norm. On the contrary, I've been here longer than you and I've seen Vern score direct hits many o' time. (His lack of love for The Stath is another matter...)And who is trying to pretend that Vern is "some unstoppable force"? Where does that insinuation even come from?What you should do is get on your knees and thank Vern every living day that he was the one responsible for bringing us the legendary Demon Dave and Equinas Talkbacks.You should also open wide and let him piss in your mouth (ala DGDB-style) because that would be...ironic.
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That name would be unstoppable. Anyway.....Vern was not paid. He confirmed that one I believe. For whatever reason only the "Editors" are paid, not the meager contributors. I'm sure there's not THAT much cash to go around. AND HARRY'S GOTTA EAT!!
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...and this is coming from someone who checks in at least everyday.
I have a basic knowledge of who's who here but some of you guys have this encyclopediac time line of every talkback, thread, in-joke, feud, banning and post count of the last 5 yrs not to mention intimate knowledge and opinion of every contributors quirks, lifestyle, family profile and interpersonal relationships which borderlines on obsessive.
I come here for movie news but find myself viewing it all like some anthropological study too bizzare to resist. -
if he hasn't already. Moriarty's gone, Capone's got a screenwriting gig (I think) and Vern's never here. Harry really is gonna have to get his shit together because I think people's attention is starting to stray. I've been coming here for the best part of ten years now and it's always pissed me off when people complain about the site, but I dunno... some new blood is definitely needed. Proper threaded comments would be nice too (edit buttons, are for fuckin' pussy's though).
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Then I'm sure you will agree that there was no anthropological find more entertaining than one, Jeff Albertson (aka Jar Jar 4 Prez).
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But that in no way diminishes the cast of characters here on a daily basis ;)
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Feb 25, 2009 1:28:05 PM CST
I thought everyone came her for the freak show.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
If you really do hunger for film news, and this is your only source-- than you got problems. There are half a dozen sites with better/faster scoop. Thats why I've always said....if it weren't for the freaks in the TB'S (myself included) this site would cease to exist. The so called news is a fucking joke.
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I doubt many people still use AICN as their primary new source (AICN regularly gets scooped nowadays, has become much more flinchy about pissing on non-disclosure agreements and spins way too many cum-soaked weblog cycles on shit like Inglorious Basterds)....but the talkbacks are just too rich to miss. It's like slowing down to watch a highway accident - the only difference is rather than just merely watching the carnage, we all jump straight into the flames and twisted debris with reckless abandon. Or sure as hell seems that way most of the time.
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There is no other place quite like. The people who visit this site for the film news, most probably don't bother posting in the Talkbacks because, let's face it, there is very little serious discussion taking place.AICN Talkback is the Mos Eisley of the Internet. It's a total wasteland. You will never find a larger collection of clowns, knobs, misanthropes, conspiracy nuts, n00bs, and lunatics. It's quite the slice of "humanity".That being said, AICN is not beholden to the Talkbackers as a means to survive. There are only so many active Talkbackers and they total no where near the number of independent site hits/visits this place generates per day. But it's not unusual for Talkback to try to overplay it's hand every now and again.
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by Yahoo, of all things, on a regular basis these days.
OF COURSE people come here for the talkbacks. -
But there all rather superfluous. The geek factor and unique albeit limited design of this site has it's own allure. I certainly don't miss any sleep over the fact that Latino or SHH hype gets news 2 days earlier than AICN. Harry's laziness dovetails nicely with my own apparently.
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Classic.
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...that didn't start with 19 paragraphs of the writer's history since age 12. Just saying.
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dudes that have been here forever being thrity-four. I don't understand why you left this place.
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Would LOVE it if he could just black-box in and ban some bastards now and again!
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another reason to love AICN.
when i amble over to hitfix it feels like going to a hospital or something. Or one of those "model homes" with all the furniture set up? Feel free to look around but please don't touch anything... -
Feb 25, 2009 1:53:09 PM CST
MNG....I know you've been sucking balls for a black box....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
.....but come on. If anything, I'd say AICN tries to underplay the contribution of TB'ers to this site's success. Why the fuck would anyone be dumb enough to get their scoop from here? You could find better movie news in Entertainment fucking Weekly and on Access Hollywood, which this site now links to constantly. The spies are now nothing more than reviews from test screenings. Thats about it. Thats the big inside word now-- test screenings and an occasional set visit to suck Tarantino's dick. Fascinating. Empire has more exclusive news these days. But they don't have a talkback. -
and AICN is the flashiest dealer on the block.
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it on w/ Danielle Foxxx? And about Vaniity? Or Wedndy Williams, Vicki Richter, know the ones who fucking speak english? Hell, I know you got w/ Jessie. I really like that porn transitioned into more Mature stars coming back like Amber Lynn and my favorite all time Ginger Lynn. Of course Nina, Teri Weigel, Julia Ann and Stefanie Swift is doing a bunch of stuff for Girlfriend films. She did that clip w/ Tommy on Seasoned Players 6, but for whatever reason I don't get the feeling she's into men at all anymore. Also, that Chrisian dude from TX would #%^# a snake if you held it for him. I'm surprised any chick would approve his ass after some of the stuff he's into. Like I said, this is no putdown in the slightest.
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I think there are a couple of reasons why AICN is not the site it was a number of years ago. The biggest of them being that the online movie news game has been figured out. Studios and their minions know how it's played now. As a result, exclusives are harder and harder to come by. This usually means that the operators of any particular site have to cultivate whatever connections they may have (personal and professional) in the hopes of getting an exclusive.(Don't forget, there is an abundance of entertainment sites now and they're all pretty much tapped into the same main vein.)Something I don't quite understand though - for someone who thinks that this site is a joke, you sure to spend a godawful amount of time here. Nobody seems to trash this place more openly than you do these days. Yet, you still come here. What's up with that? Curious.
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already. talkbacks!
but i don't get why anybody gives a shit about a black box. -
I'm here because the TB's and the TB'ers themselves are insanely fun. I giggle all day at work while I'm here. It has made my work day fly by for about a year now. And yeah, I trash the site. The actual stories and so called exclusives are indeed a fucking joke. Quint has always done a good job, Mori was okay, but thats about it. I suppose I should be a little more grateful that the shit stories create the structure for this thing that affords me the chance to have a laugh. I'm saying from a non-TB'er perspective-- why the fuck would anyone make this site their source of movie news? I just don't get it. It is hypocritical of me, I know. I trash this place, yet I would be sad if it was suddenly gone. I guess deep down I want them to do better. But I think Harry is making one massive fuck up after another. -
Understood.
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Your assessment?
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... guys, I love Harry and Quint and the entire Austin gang. And I think Harry's wife Yoko is awesome on top of awesome with a side order of awesome just for variety. I work at HitFix because I have a family and a mortgage and I live in a profoundly expensive city, and HitFix made me an offer I literally couldn't refuse. I really like the folks I'm working with now, and I think every day we're getting the nuts and bolts of the site to work a bit better, but AICN is my family, and Austin is still my home away from home. Looking forward to SXSW in a few weeks so I can spend some time hanging out there.
Any animosity you're reading from Harry is just him busting balls, a specialty of his dating back to pretty much the first minute I met him. Rojo Grande is consistent. -
Kurt Lockwood is a fucking psychopath stalker at this point, with his paranoid claims of alternate IDs. Dude, I will happily tell you without the need to hide behind someone else's name that you have gone from abrasive to full-blown creepy. Keep your nasty porno weiner away from me. It's an out door only, sweetheart.
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Feb 25, 2009 2:36:32 PM CST
I think Mr. Beaks tries too hard to fill Mori's shoes....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
If he relaxed a little bit and tried to not talk down to TB'ers quite as much he would be okay.
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believe me I was just asking b/c i've seen a bunch of your stuff and am familiar w/ quit a bit of your movies.
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He just always writes as if he's got PMS, or like Lou Dobbs discussing immigration.
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http://bearmythology.net/2008/03/02/devin-faraci-smart-witty-woofy-geeky-editor-of-chudcom/
Somebody's got a crush! Sorry fellas, this man only has eyes for a man whose name rhymes with Zack Snyder. -
It's shameless the way you flirt with Kurt. The two of you just need to man up and go brokeback on each other.
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Feb 25, 2009 2:44:01 PM CST
Yeah I think Mori is a lot cooler to deal with....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...than Beaks. Its like Beaks feels he has to be the amped up version of Mori. He fucking banned a guy for saying George Lucas should kill himself. And when others questioned it he said something like "Anyone who thinks suicide is a joke should have their fucking head checked" or some shit like that. Its just really fucking ridiculous. And insane coming from a guy that used to be a TB'er?! Is anyone familiar with Beaks in his TB'er days?
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why did you retire before fucking Stoya? Just asking.
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everytime it seems a new film on AEBN comes around your in the thing. Like that Brady Bunch one or do they simply keep recycling the old scenes? Also where else could you suggest a pay per view site that's comprehensive? thanks dude and also this coming from a dude thats huge fan of The Ramones. I have the dvd "End of the Century," and watch it every once in a while and Im still in awe when it shows them play live!
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.....you guys are Christian fucking Bale compared to those wankers at CHUD. Jesus Christ what an absolutely worthless site. The only think worse than the writers are the parasites that populate their message board. I'd take the worst TB'ers over those fucks any day.
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I can smell you beaks. get the fuck out my TB.
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....on that Devin Faraci circle-jerk page. What the fuck? "And with that, I’d like to embarrass him with a video he recorded live for a handful of us Chewers (term used for the CHUD.com readers/posters) during one of our daily night chat sessions. Boy, was I glad I was awake on that Thursday night."
http://tinyurl.com/649fkk -
on a mature level, however is this...
Is it possible to cover movies objectively while being someone attempting to land gigs in Hollywood?
Didn't Beatty fuck Kael over by tricking her into thinking she could be a player?
I mean this seriously and not offensively at all, nor do i mean to imply that any wrongdoing occurs. i just mean on an objective level is it possible to write about people who you may have to do business with?
The answer at AICN has always been "well we shot down Rollerball, and Rothman's Fox, and Batman and Robin"
But that's like being a Republican and saying Bobby Jindal sucks. I mean, come on, Kumar meets the Kenneth the Page from 30 rock... It's not hard to see that's an easy takedown.
Harry, what did happen to your development deals other than Princess of Mars? Are you happy to not be part of that world any more? Like is it fun to just be a fan of movies and have a tremendously successful website, enough that you don't really have the juice for it any more? I mean this seriously and fairly. -
but devin looks alot like moriarty. both of them look like my nutsack trimmed at level 2.
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Feb 25, 2009 2:55:28 PM CST
Mori looks like a guy that doesn't give a fuck....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...about his looks, especially being a Father. Devin looks like a guy that really wishes he could lose weight and sees himself as fashionable.
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since porno =/= movies, Im a little confused.
Oh sure go ahead and tell me all about your hot Fiero you're still driving from the glory (hole) days of 80's stag film, but the truth is, any fatass with an 8mm color kodak camera and a twenty dollar bill could have been in porno in the 80s.
I kid, btw. Kurt and I are balebackers from way back. In fact the only difference between Kurt and myself is, I presume, about 6 extra inches. stupid genetics. -
that can't really be devin faraci doing a jackman on bawba walters can it?
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gets them mad pussy.
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like an elephant? He's CEO and doesn't pay his contributors a thing? What a contradiction: And believe me i"m liberal as can be from OKla and I hear Harry stating his views on current events letting folks know how liberal he is. I could be wrong but he sounds like all those other Wall Street people who took the money and ran w/o helping out their contributors and workers.
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we just love how you get so pissed off at the smallest thing, you really do. it's so easy to get a rise out of you, and you'd think someone who's last name is mcweeny would probably have really thick skin. but right now it just feels like you used to eat lunch with the rest of us who played Marvel Super Heroes by TSR and read Dragonlance books and were in the model rocketry club, and then one day the kids who were into watching Beverly HIlls 90210 got you to sit at their table... i have to go now, i'm getting too emotional.
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So what happened with your other name? Was this a backup? Or should such things not be discussed? Sorry....fuck.....running....awak....jerking off....while...I....run.....
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I'm glad Moriarty's gone. Guy was a condescending and humourless douchebag. Though, like herpes, he still seems to be hanging around and just won't go away. That said, he was one of the better writers on this site (not saying much). at least he was coherent, if very pompous and long-winded, unlike Harry (who never could write for peanuts and whose infrequent sugar-fuelled ramblings resemble an opium induced fever dream from hades). When this site first started, in 96, it was a breath of fresh air; in fact, from 97 - 99 things were of a different class round here; since about 99, this site has been on a slow, imperceptible slide into the crapper. strangely (or perhaps not so strangely), this coincides with the release of The Phantom Menace. Before that, fandom was pretty much united, and the talkbacks here were pretty cordial. there were disagreements, sure, but nothing like the hellish pit of insanity which has been bubbling away for ten years. fuck, it's like the dog days of The Roman Empire here. Nevertheless, the talkbacks amuse the hell out of me, for all the wrong reasons,but they're not really a place for good discussion anymore like they were back in those halcyon days.
Harry, get your finger out or this place probably won't last another decade. Get some new writers in. Vern is good; really the only guy I like. Merrick's a prick; Quint was a bit crap and has now gone anyway; Beaks is nondescript. Ditch scriptgirl, dvd release lists that only serve to get your cut from amazon purchases, and other boring and irrelevant crap. Update the look of this place (the same puke mustard colour scheme has been used since the site began). stop using akward html coding for talkback posts, allow edit facilities for posts, better search engine, yadda yadda. stop being afraid to buck the hollywood system - you should know by now you'll never really be good enough to be a part of it (something Moriarty should also realise). Do some unique pieces. when was the last genuinely 'cool' feature on this site - Stallone's Q and A? bring back some geek cred. remember those reminisces about the summer of 82? great stuff. get Tarantino, Cameron, Sly, whoever, to maybe drop in with the occassional exclusive if they have time (you get a call/ e-mail from them on occasion, right?)Stop wining and dining the wife. Stop indulging the wife (music column?)Stop fucking the wife (at least until you've completed your lapband surgery). Clean this motherfucking house and get it back on its feet and in tip-top condition. Its a lovable, tired old whore of a website,long past its best, but it can always be good for another fuck!!! -
on moriarty's review. cyall later.
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are we the only people in hysterics over the Faraci bear nexus? let's look up his review of grizzly man... no but seriously, i have no problems with bears, i read andrew sullivan, but it's just cracking me up when i posted that link i didn't read all of it or see the video
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he didn't post a single thing in the Green Hornet / Gondry talkback, and he says he likes girls with dark curly hair and big tits, which sounds to me like your average stoned Canadian jew if I've ever heard of one. did he do any posting during the oscars?
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Ha! Sounds like the fabled AICN Zionist Multi-Username Conspiracy is back in action.
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don't you miss the old Transformers days? ie before dickblood? with crazy fucks and negative fucks like superninja?
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... I'll tell you exactly what I owe you: nothing. But I am pleased to see that, yes, you did indeed rise to the bait and flip out. See how it works both ways? Now get back under your bridge, PornoTroll.
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And why hasn't Kurt Russell laughed yet?
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I actually thought he was Devin Faraci for a time. And not for the reasons you might think. It had more to do with the timing of his arrival and some statements Devin made regarding AICN Talkbackers. Kind of funny now that I think about it.
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Funny you should say that, since Rogen namechecks DGDB during the Pineapple Express Blu-Ray commentary. The plot thickens....
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Oh yes, the original TRANSFORMERS TBs were some of the craziest times for AICN. Such a vitriolic quagmire. I do miss those days along with the STAR WARS and LOTR feuds.I'm willing to put down good money that AVATAR might be the next "big event" that turns Talkback into Dante's Inferno.As for superninja, I don't know what happened to her. After TRANSFORMERS, she just vanished.
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...for 5 fucking minutes. Please.
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Do you wanna?
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A guy named Drew McWeeny who wrote a draft of a Mortal Kombat sequel and a guy who actually used to have sex on camera for a living are having a nerd battle in words. Like, where can you even pay to see that shit? And no way is DGDB Devin Faraci. I like to think of DGDB as someone with actual wit instead of being the Nerd Bear Ryan Seacrest. That should be Devin Faraci's talkback name, Nerd Bear Ryan Seacrest.
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I can say that the only reason I come to AICN is for the talkbacks. The comments are usually hilarious, and every so often there is informed film discussion. I agree that if someone is looking for breaking film news, this is not the place, and hasn't been the place for a very long time. I was a fan of the Movie a Day DVD column Quint did there for a while, but that's been the only writing of substance since the 1982 tributes (when in and of themselves were either blantently or subconsiously derived from the great sci-fi/fantasy year of 1982 idea pushed by Mark Altman in the old Sci-Fi Universe magazine way back in the mid-90's).
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read his stuff on Chud. He does know his movies, but doesn't sound like a dude I'd like to hang out with.
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Affiliated with this site anymore? If you are, welcome back, it not, why the black box?
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Feb 25, 2009 3:45:50 PM CST
Devin Faraci's screenname should be "Fat Serpico"
by most excellent ninja
that is all.
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In case anyone cares.
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...only uncensored. You guys are actually making me feel embarassed for you, sniping like a bunch of chicks.
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did you ever do Melissa Lauren or Venus? If not. well suck a dick i guess? fuck i'm tired.
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and all the Talkbacks are crazy. What's going on?
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Buddy cop movie.
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A cunt! I frequented CHUD a few years ago for a short while, and it is a far bigger shithole than Ain't It Cool. Faraci was a fucking troll...a troll who was a mod. Far worse than Dickblood. I saw that fat cunt on the recent Bladerunner documentaries that came with the boxset. The fucker looks like Charles Manson...and has the personality to match. Or rather he looks more like Manson's paedophillic twin brother!
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Where's Uncle Bukkake?
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Did you work with Uncle Bukkake?
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Feb 25, 2009 3:59:15 PM CST
I think Mori is like a guest contributor now...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....and some of those people pop up from time to time with black boxes. Didn't Nordling used to have a black box? He was the guy that did the E.T. 1982 piece right? Best fucking thing on this site.....EVER. -
What?!! I watched all that shit. Where the fuck is he?
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fucking cunt
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... I'm not homophobic. I'm just scared of a barking loony like you who has become fixated on me to a disturbing degree. You're not fixated on me? Prove it. Stop stalking me with your weirdo alternate ID fantasies. Until then, I'm wearing two pair of underwear and avoiding bridges at all cost, PornoTroll.
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... actually, as the editor of 1982 series, allow me to share that the origin of the series had nothing to do with Mark Altman and everything to do with living through 1982 as a nascent film geek who remains convinced that was the best summer ever.
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I hear she has a bunch of kids, does heaps of drugs, always off her face, is dirty as shit(like std's and shit) and thinks Sinestro Corps War is the best comic ever. My type of woman.
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specifically? Sinestro Corps War didn't come out then.
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When that Chaos dude made that last house on the left rip off and he started trying to fight Herc or Quint and then fighting talkbackers. and then talkbackers would write random shit making no sense. fucking best thing ever.
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the weirdest day in talkback history. if only vern could have a discussion with roland joffe in talkback today the trifecta would be complete
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....for saying I'm NOT Devin. For one thing-- there's no way hell I could write that faggy. I really can't stand that motherfucker. I'm a cocksucker because I'm a powerless cyst of a TB'er stuck at a fucking desk all day. That motherfucker gets to suck off Zach Snyder in his hotel room and he's still disgruntled? Fuck. I have no idea why those Dick Chewers in the Chud forums take his shit. Have you ever gone in there and seen how he talks to those fucking cows? Jesus. He's like an abusive stepfather screaming at the kids for being ugly and stupid. We bitch about the higher ups here for the occasional ban-- but we pretty much do whatever the fuck we want. I take back everything I said earlier. AICN FUCKING RULES. That fat fuck Devin needs to throw himself in a vat of boiling oil and deliver a lifetime supply of Faracci Ass Chicharrones. -
Kurt vs. Drew: Bad Blood.Seriously, though. The idea that Mori has a few AICN pseudonyms to yank some chains ain't so far fetched. It's all--absolutely all of it--in good fun. Even when folks get REALLY pissed (ESPECIALLY when folks get really pissed). Flame on, fellas.And--yeah--someone needs to register as PornoTroll post haste.
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Looks like mori still wields the ban hammer. Nice knowing you krack.
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Remember his legendary 300 and Matrix Reloaded reviews? That Matrix review is still hilarious to read for the talback, so many people going "...what?". HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Mori...don't avoid bridges, bro. I live under one..complete with refrigerator box, wifi and a 72 inch concrete screen. It's fuckin' suave. Someone grafitti'd He's Just Not Into You for me the other day...wow, what a hoot.
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Nuff said.
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The end of the Dangerous Days doc, when filmmakers and critics are reminiscing about the impact of the film. He was sandwiched somewhere between Frank Darabont and Kenneth Turan if I recall correctly (though why they wanted Faraci to contribute his monotone mouth rumblings I know not).
Top Moriarty Moments of Douchebaggery:
1. Insulting Walter B (Bruce Willis)on the talkbacks, by declaring him an imposter, then refusing to admit the error of his ways with good grace when proven wrong.
2.Declaring all those who disliked the yappy female characters in Death Proof as deep-seated misogynists and woman-haters.
3. Anything Star Wars related - harboring buried resentment for Lucas because he was 'banned from the ranch'. Not only did he praise all prequels on release only later to conveniently forget and trash them all later on, his (largely positive) review of The Clone Wars cartoon had a savage and hilariously misguided attack on Lucas for clamping down on early negative reviews.
4. Going to see The Crow, then getting on his moral high horse about the filmmakers completing the movie after the death of brandon lee; apparently this was in 'bad taste' even though Moriarty went to see the film knowing this, and then having the audacity to declare he wanted his money back for witnessing such bad taste(this one is going waaayy back...was in his best and worst of the 90's lists if I recall correctly).
5. Every venom-laden and condescending response to talkbackers who have called him out (sometimes wrongly but also sometimes quite justifiably) for being a shill and a sellout...just let it go, buddy, don't bite the hand that feeds you. -
For their petty abuses vis a vis the BALE TB, I don't know if I could go to Moriarty's site, even if he followed all of DGDB's advice ... Mainly cause I think the same thing would happen, and we'd somehow be trapped. I'd turn on my computer and not be able to navigate away from hitfix, and I'd just have to be condescended to and read annoying stories about Moriarty's family all day.
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You know how it is on this site...you have to spell things out for all the twits.
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Feb 25, 2009 4:38:34 PM CST
What the fuck is up with this site's Tarantino cum swapping?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
There is a fucking embargo on mentioning Uwe Boll because you guys think he's a gimmick. Quentin Tarantino-- uhhhhh guess what? HE'S A FUCKING GIMMICK. He's just the sort of gimmick you seem to enjoy. FUCK HIM. Dear God I can't wait for Inglourious to fucking crash and burn come August. And that trailer is only helping the cause...MUAHAHAHAHAHA.
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... you know how you know you've lost at The Internets? When you start spitting at the screen and threatening bodily harm. Now leave me and my brown eye in piece. Or by all means, keep up the barking psycho act if it makes you feel all manly.
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... great name. No comment neccessary.
You've got the story absolutely wrong on "The Crow." I didn't pay to see it. I had gotten to know Brandon Lee before his death, and I was hugely excited by the prospect of the film. When he was killed on-set, I knew there was no way I could sit through it. The only reason I did was because I was invited to a test screening of a film without them saying what it was. This was before Paramount decided to dump it or not. And once I realized what it was, I debated leaving even before it started. I tried to stay, but only made it through about 15 minutes before it got to be too hard to watch. I still can't look at it. It's just too ugly.
But I'm sure you'd rather remember it your way, since that's the version that makes me look bad. So kudos and huzzah, sir! -
... just not something I can sit through.
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What an ugly talkback. Can it get any lower, seriously?
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... is the Bale TB finally locked? Before, the count was going up, though you couldn't view it. It fell of the top TB list rather precipitously, so now you can't tell. Is this the ultimate act of faith? To post in the Bale TB, never knowing if you are increasing the count? Of course the site's techs know ... Maybe all these black socks cocks know, but they're the ones playing with the godhead, so they are obviously not "cool".
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A stone-cold fucking classic. It's such a shame what happened to Brandon - that movie would have made him a superstar. Ernie Hudson is as solid as he always is, and Michael Wincott is THE MAN - pure fucking rock star from start to finish.
THE CROW is a stone-cold classic. Awesome movie. -
... Kurt, you win. You are definitely the most vile piece of garbage in the talkback. But now that you've crossed into physically threatening me in talkback after talkback, I think it's time for one last swing of the BanHammer for old time's sake. No one threatened to harm you. I just asked you not to put that nasty porno weenie on me. Or in me. I'm sorry my rejection made you crazy, but I'm afraid I'm done with your spittle-filled threats, SugarDong. Bye now.
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Not really NEW, but I've never seen it before. I don't think it's displayed before. Check it out, if you have any courage, or sense of decency.
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... Brandon and his manager were near-daily customers at Dave's Video. Brandon had just done "Showdown in Little Tokyo" when we first met him, and was gearing up on "Rapid Fire." One of the most humble, self-effacing actors I've ever met, and it was obvious from the chatter around him and the way filmmakers responded to him when they ran into him at the store that he was just getting started in what I honestly believe would have been a massive action star career.
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I prefer JanHammer.
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*That's* going out with a bang. RIP Kurt. Damn. You play +rough+, Drew.
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Samuel L. has just signed a 9-picture deal with Marvel to play Nick Fury, one that could include a S.H.I.E.L.D. flick...
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Mori left AICN? Why?
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... that's the thing, though. We're just playing. Or at least that's what people always say here if anyone takes offense at something. I'm certainly just goofing off a bit while doing work this afternoon, and there are plenty of other people who have taken their shots at me in this talkback without resorting to threats of physical violence. And look... they're all still here!
Seriously... if you're so worked up about the internet that you're claiming that you will fly to LA from another country to beat someone up, you should probably have your service turned off. For your own good. -
TO APPEAR IN 9 FILMS,SIGNS DEAL WITH MARVEL!
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but clearly, looking at his posts, the boy clearly had issues.
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What was the last GREAT story that ran on AICN? It was the stallone Q&A way back in 2006. Other than that the only reason I'll remember articles is because of epic Talkbacks, which is why I'm a Professional
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could anyone give me a brief synopsis (sans extremely vulgar shit that will get you banned) of what Kurt Lockwood said? He seemed cordial enough in the other watchmen talkback.
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Feb 25, 2009 5:37:18 PM CST
I agree. Brandon Lee was the shit and he would've been huge.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Feb 25, 2009 5:41:19 PM CST
Holy shit. Lockwood is gone? He was damn civil in the Bale TB.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
But then again, so was I. Thats what Christianity does. It exorcises the demons out of us like Bobby Jindal. RHCP....to answer your question he has been after Mori for the last few days saying he uses multiple TB Id's to stir shit up. In his last few posts, Kurt suggested he was gonna find Mori at a screening in L.A. and hurt him. I dunno if this means punches or ass fucking. Either way-- it ain't gonna smell good. Kurt Lockwood will always be a BALE BROTHER.
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Go ahead...make my day!
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And take. That. Fucker. Out!
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Mori wouldn't be able to sit down for the rest of his life.
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...you did what's best for your family in these rough economic times. Besides, most of these assholes wont be able to afford Internet in a few months anyway.
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the most interesting/engaging thing he's written since leaving AICN.
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The Baleback returns. As Brother Lockwood fell, we lost a few hundred posts. Now we're back in business and ready to get it back up to the top spot. CONQUER LIFE AND YOU SHALL CONQUER DEATH!
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...I understand this site probably doesn't pay shit. So I respect him for trying to better his family. I just wish he had developed a cooler site that wasn't so fucking slick and mainstream feeling. But....I guess thats his thing. Thats the crowd he's trying to surround himself with. Just doesn't seem like a place for most of us. But maybe he wants it that way. Mori....YOU'RE BREAKING MY FUCKING HEART!
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I'm a bit Lost. Trolls drool, Gremlins rule!
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This is a bit of a surprise, but there's nothing wrong with growing and moving on. He contributed a great deal to AICN over the years and nothing will change that.
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God, so many classic one-liners. Sucks you can't enjoy it like the rest of us Mori.
R.I.P Kurt. Seemed like a decent dude in the Oscar TB but yeah, went a bit far this time.
Mori, take another stab at that MK3 script and get that shit made!!!!
FIRE IT UP! FIRE IT UP! FIRE IT UP! -
Never been much of a comic guy. I'm more into mangas. But all the talks about the film have made me interested. I read the first 5 books. It's awesome.
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that fucking Kurtlockwood was a tool of massive proportions s.
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David Hayter: It wasn't in my first script. That came together at Paramount, so about 2004 or so is when that became the ending. I was working with Paul Greengrass at the time. He was the director and we were living in London and doing that particular version of the movie. Paul said a great thing about it. He said, "What this ending does is if Dr. Manhattan had never existed, if he had never been brought into existence, Adrian would be the most powerful man in the world. Once Dr. Manhattan comes along, everybody else, it's like he's the most powerful insect in the world. There's no comparison." So what Paul loved was the idea that Adrian, by using Dr. Manhattan as his weapon, puts himself back on top again. That really appealed to me because what Watchmen is about is it's about powerful people imposing their own moral codes on the world. Yet they're not purely moral people. They're intensely flawed people with these huge egos. It's really acting out of ego to impose your will on the world, so I felt that that all sort of tied together. Like I said, the most important thing was that it brings you to the same sequence of events and sets off the same character responses as in the book.
Again, I wish for all its changes that I'd seen Paul Greengrass' Watchmen. I never thought of it that way, but that makes much better sense. -
Really? Seriously? No way. I always thought he had to be the one person getting paid.
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a shirtless kurt lockwood trying to beat up a reporter on the internet somewhere, i understand why Moriarty acted the way he did. But if you ask me, "I didn't see it happen!"
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... I didn't create HitFix, though. It's not about who I'm "trying to surround myself with." They made me an offer, and they're decent folks, and I saw a chance to (A) help my family and (B) have some fun trying to figure out what a personal blog can be. We're still technically in Beta, so there's plenty of growing left to do, sir.
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is that this clip did not end up on it, i tried around post 10025 or so...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_59pP_Xcw0g
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Given the amount of us who are using twitter and facebook and our attentions are divided even more and more, my advice on hitfix would be to make it less of a personal blog then a compendium of cool links chosen by you with minimal reportage, and then reviews and the big stories every so often when you visit a set. That stuff is your strength. The one thing everyone at AICN has complained about over the years is how we have to skip the first eighteen paragraphs of reviews that discuss bowel movements, etc. Your content is good, just, brevity soul of wit, you know?
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... definitely trying to strike that balance. I do think my work has become more concise over there, and I don't really use it as a "personal" blog. Rather, it's just a space where I'm the only one making editorial choices, so it tends to reflect what I am personally interested in.
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Watchmen and write about it now, that would definitely be a traffic getter. What do you remember? What would've been different? How would it have compared? If you ask me it's one of the great lost movies of all time. Greengrasss is Michael Mann without the love of postmodern architecture and melodrama, and for that I worship him.
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As opposed to an entertainment section of a site? Hhhhmmmm.....thats interesting. How much pull do you have with layout and such?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfO9InoTjUQ
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Feb 25, 2009 6:46:00 PM CST
I agree. That sort of comparitive "What If" shit is interesting.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
As opposed to just straight movie/dvd reviews. I think AVCLUB puts out a lot of great material with their features like Primer, The New Cult Canon, Films That Time Forget, etc. All that shit is interesting. Revisiting old films, watching cult films for the first time, comparing two films with similar themes. It makes for a much more interesting read than just standard new movie reviews.
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you do bear some culpability for the big freak-out earlier. From my perspective, the flaming was pretty run-of-the-mill, garden variety stuff till you started throwing out undeniably homophobic insults at Kurt. Now that doesn't excuse threats of physical violence, but from my POV you were baiting Kurt--actively TRYING to get him to become enraged. And you apparently pushed the right button. I think Kurt was out of line. And you were as well.I wouldn't be belaboring this point if Kurt was a trollish, worthless piece of shit that contributed nothing to AICN. A careful read of TBs the last couple of days verifies that his comments--when not instigating or being instigated by some good, clean flaming--are well informed, insightful, creative minded and--at times--delightful. Again, I'm not condoning serious, personal threats in TB (nor do I excuse them in this case), but I do think you are in part to blame for the whole debacle.My 2 cents, soberly submitted.
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... perhaps. I guess he can dish out the abuse, though, and if someone dares talk back, he goes nutzoid. And I maintain... it ain't homophobic. It was specific to him. I find the whole sort of "obsess on personal details" thing a little freaky and stalkery, and he's the one who insisted on talking about his porno life. All I did was poke him with a personal detail, same as he kept trying to do to me.
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Feb 25, 2009 7:01:42 PM CST
Be serious Mori....no guy's ass is outdoor only.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Both straight and gay dudes alike enjoy having their asshole gently fingered while receiving a sloppy blowjob.
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dont feed ze trolls, fraulein mori.
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Feb 25, 2009 7:05:36 PM CST
Mori, have you thought of "stealing" from Quint so to speak
by rhcp2sweet
and doing AMAD for yourself over at hitfix? That was definitely my favorite article on this site for quite some time, and could be something else you could do instead of strictly reviews. Or, since your busy with a wife, kids and what have you, you could do A Movie A Week
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From my perspective, you two simply rubbed each other the wrong way. Any time I felt like you were attempting to be light and humorous, Kurt took serious offense. Any time I felt like Kurt was attempting to be light and humorous, you took serious offense. There was an inevitable escalation of tempers between you, and a line was crossed. I just regret it ended with a banning. Changing the subject, I'm very curious to know how you think the WATCHMEN film's climax-change worked or didn't work. I know you think it's been talked to death, but I sincerely respect your opinion on film matters. So... what gives?
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It looks like a website from E entertainment or some bullshit like that.
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... if the film was literally panel-for-panel with the exception of the ending, I think it would be an issue. But they've made sure to finesse the material throughout so that when the new ending plays, it seems to be thematically of a piece with the rest of the film. I think that's why it doesn't bother me. Yes, it is a radical change in terms of the specifics, but it does the same general thing and IN THE FILM, it actually works to tie things up in a neater way that it would have if they'd just dropped the squid in with no preamble. It's a strong choice. Won't be the most popular one, but it's strong.
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... I've got a column starting next week that's going to allow me to indulge my own desire to write about something other than just new films, and, yes, Quint's spectacular effort on AMAD was a definite influence.
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That was gonna be my next gig. I'm developing a site.....BUT FUCK IT. I guess I'm done with that bullshit now. FUCK.
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... no, I'm not literally doing his column. I found my own way to dig into writing about vintage films, and I'll be doing that. Please... feel free to steal from Quint as much as you'd like. I'll give you his home address if you like.
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Email me his home address at:DANNYGLOVERS.DICKBLOOD@GMAIL.COM
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How many Watchmen books are there? I just looked it up on amazon, and saw they had one that was 400 or so pages. Is that the entire story, or are there more?
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1. Alejandro Jodorowsky's Dune with Salvador Dali and music by Pink Floyd
2. Stanley Kubrick's The Aryan Papers
3. Stanley Kubrick's AI
4 Stanley Kubrick's Napoleon
5. Paul Greengrass' Watchmen
6. David Cronenberg's Top Gun (no shit, Bruckheimer even asked him about Flashdance)
7. David Lynch's Return of the Jedi (he was offered!) -
...and Ridley Scott's I Am Legend.
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Feb 25, 2009 7:28:44 PM CST
what about Scorsese/Spielberg Schindlers/Cape Fear switch?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Can somebody please give me the URL to the Christian Bale talkback everybody is talking about? DGDB, Kurt, Mori, Dr Turing and all made me look really bad at work today, randomly laughing out loud. I'm at home now, hooked up to tha TB like never and looks like the fun here is getting over. Anyway looks like the Bale TB was one of the classics and I don't wanna miss it. Any help?
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I'll never forget my mental image of Schwarzenegger spitting out the leatherman to save his life. It felt far less alone than Lawrence's movie. Which I thought was on all cylinders until the woman and kid eats breakfast with the fresh prince.
Didn't the ideas in Night Skies get recycled though? -
Night Skies got recycled into Poltergeist. Which was directed by.... Tobe Hooper.. Yeah that's the ticket.
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That was precisely the clear and concise analysis I was hoping for. Very heartening.
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http://tinyurl.com/ddkatf Now mind you this is missing about 1,000 posts from the original text. The fuckers deleted 700 due to bandwith and we have since lost two Professionals, whose posts were deleted. Enjoy.
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Feb 25, 2009 7:47:35 PM CST
Night Skies was loosely recycled into E.T. and Poltergest
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Its about aliens that terrorize a family in the country. Sounds like a crazy fucking story. All I know is Rick Baker was designing the puppets for the aliens and supposedly early designs of his were later altered into E.T. by Rambaldi.
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Just wanted to say I truly miss your presence here on AICN, which was by far the most articulate and interesting to read, with Quint following closely behind (and of course, Vern being the most fun).
I've checked in on HitFlix from time to time, but feel it's a bit of a jumbled mess that I typically don't have the urge to wade through... As far as the Watchmen review goes, I have to be honest and agree with someone above to an extent -- the bold face "tag line" really jumped out at me as all wrong. I mean, it's a minor thing, but it bothered me for whatever reason... I do have to say, however, that I enjoyed the use of links within the review once again to jump back to the past. Regardless of whether these were AICN links or not, I always love the option, and whether the link is worth it or not, it gives perspective... and just might be the method to the madness of warding off those who think you are a bit too wordy in the future (which has never bothered me).
But before I get too wordy myself and actually engage in the talkback with the many utterly profound and completely useless things I could say (as well as apparently needing to go on about the four meals I had just before posting this), let it be said I hope the best for you... oh, and truly truly enjoyed the THERE WILL BE BLOOD write up. Thanks. -
I didn't know all your previus posts got deleted if you got banned. Anyway, if it's half as funny as todays tb it'll be worth my time. This stuff made me loose half an evening of work today, gotta be carefull. It could be like some crazy butterfly effect, a guy writes a joke in the States and some random architect looses his job in Argentina...
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Just don't drink before reading the Baleback. I pissed myself twice. TWICE!!
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This has been one of the most entertaining talk backs ever. Of course, I've only been around for like, a year and a half....
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Normally i read all the talkbacks before commenting, and i expect this has disappeared into it's own flame war, but that was a stunningly good review. I'm not often persuaded to enter the AICN talkback zone, but that review was worth it. I hope the movie is as good.
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I see arguments from one side but looks like KurtLockwood got banned. It makes Mori look like he's continuing a windy speech every now and then condemning some guy who isn't even here. Kind of weird.
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and its kind of a guessing game on what Kurt said.
Really hope it was worth a banning, and no one was being too sensitive. -
Feb 25, 2009 10:26:40 PM CST
What the hell did this Lockwood character say about Mori?
by soylentmean
It appears he has been, dunh dunh dunh, BANNED! Damn, one can miss a lot of shit on this site when one has to go to work. Fuck you work, slavery proper that is.
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each comment on Hitfix? They need to change their whole comment thingy to be more like AICN or it ain't going to last. Preach it from on high, from a mountain even, but they have got to change that up right nows!
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I guess we are all just going to skip Street Fighter? Is there really no leakage out there? The lack of ANYTHING for this film makes me interested, though it probably not good. Micheal Clarke Duncan was on a late show with a clip.
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Feb 25, 2009 10:49:31 PM CST
I'm gonna pay for Street Fighter. Sneak into Watchmen.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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I'd rather play the new game than watch the new movie. And I'm not really a big gamer. It's glandular.
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Pretty dramatic. You need to show up here more often Mori...it really riles up the inmates!
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Feb 25, 2009 11:56:54 PM CST
LET'S JUST SAY THAT KURT LOCKWOOD RECEIVED
by total fucking destruction
TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION.
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Feb 26, 2009 12:12:27 AM CST
Spielberg's Return of the Jedi is the movie I want to see
by most excellent ninja
Goddamn if seeing 80's Spielberg tackle Return of the Jedi isn't my most wanted movie of all time. Fuck. Then they get that pedastrian Richard Marquand to do it.
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my favorite poster.
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His DOTD was barely passable and unremarkable filmmaking, but it wasn't the massive turd we expected so people called it "good."
300 was all action and no story, so he got away with it.
Watchmen is different and I think this will be a huge, loud, beautiful failing void of a film. The question is how long it will take to admit this. I hope I am wrong.
Also, it will not be a box office smash. Get over it. -
I always wanted to see him and the original Total Fucking Destruction duel. Such a fight would would be......................
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I just want to see you eat pussy man....that would be....well you know...
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just kidding And thank god TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION is back. But where has Bringingsexyback been all day? The mind wonders...
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... it's Snyder's birthday in early March. It's his lucky date. Worked for "Dawn". Worked bigtime for "300." And he pushed for it on "Watchmen."
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... that's what they don't understand. I'm not locked up here in talkback with them. They're locked up here in talkback with ME!
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at:
http://www.absoluteradio.co.uk/player/shows/adrian_hieatt/6641/zack_snyder__director_of_watchmen.html:sd -
True, its only based on 12 reviews, but, of those 12, 10 are glowingly positive. Odds are, this trend will continue. Reckon it will settle around 75-80%. I can not fucking wait to see this movie. Poor haters; maybe there is something else you can hate? Yourselves? Since thats what your commitment to misery and hating EVERYTHING, even things you haven't even seen, amounts to -- a deflection and overcompensation for your own self-loathing.
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http://tinyurl.com/c7z6hw
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...And Mori will say,
"EAT A BAG OF DICKS!"
I gotta give it to you, Mori - you did just make fruit juice shoot down my noise. So which Talkbacker did you just throw the boiling fat over, then? ;D -
Glad to be rid of that pervert
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What's going on here? K-Wood got banned? How did this happen? He always seemed like a really nice guy. On top of that he actually discussed movies more often than getting into flame wars. In fact, I can't remember him fighting with anybody before. I also remember a rather impassioned defense of Harry & Co. when virtually the entire talkback was screaming for the blood of Knowles.
Oh, well...
Good to see you back, Mori, even if it's only temporary. AICN is definitely poorer now that you've gone. I've discussed this with several other talkbackers and we all agree that when you left there was a palpable feeling of AICN taking a huge lurch towards its inevitable demise. If it was ten to midnight before, it's three to midnight now.
I've been coming here since 2001 and have loved talkback dearly. I went from lurking to sporadic posting to being a full-fledged crackbacker in a fairly short period of time, but have lately felt the first serious pangs of weariness and disinterest regarding this bizarre and outrageous online community. One of the problems is the attempt to carve out some kind of signature presence within the talkbacks themselves. I’m not talking about the CoC, because they actually post great stuff most of the time. I’m talking about the career title-spammers who do virtually nothing but jump into talkbacks and post dozens of jokey thread-killing movie titles. I’m also talking about people taking what started out as hilarious talkbacks and turning them into utterly pointless “record breakers”.
Another problem is the embargo on talkbacker registration. Sure, I can see the attraction in once and for all getting rid of repeat offenders, but in the long run this has resulted in the remaining trolls learning how to stay just within the boundaries of banning offenses, learning how to eat with a knife and fork despite hairy knuckles and beetling brows, if you will. No new blood flows into talkback, meaning the waters are stagnant with semi-trolls and decent folks in what passes for an uneasy truce on AICN.
With the former influx of new talkbackers, yes, there would be a torrent of fucktards, but also of new, fresh geeks spoiling for both discussion and battle. I know several talkbackers who read articles on AICN but after seeing one or more of the regular trolls patrolling the talkback simply can’t be bothered to post any comments or views there believing that there’s simply no use in doing so. The older breed of troll would burn brightly and finally implode from lack of energy or from the constant beating at the hands of other talkbackers (or, indeed, banning), but this new breed is an entirely different matter. It’s trolling by attrition, simply wearing down all resistance by posting in virtually every talkback, and doing so with the most OT shit imaginable, constantly, almost daring anyone to disagree so that they can once more wave their miniscule and leaky prehensile dicks around and Be All They Can Be. It’s so tiresome. I’m not afraid to trade blows with other talkbackers, but even I can’t muster the energy if I know the same dickheads are going to be infesting almost every talkback on the horizon for God knows how long.
I truly believe AICN’s days are numbered. At this point I wouldn’t blame Harry for selling it off while he still can. I’d prefer of course that its downward trajectory could be reversed but I just don’t know how this could be accomplished. It’s a shame. I used to love this place.
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Well spoken, my friend.
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I assumed that this was the case since Harry wrote columns for this magazine back in the late 90's, and Altman would always (and by always I mean almost every issue he worked on Sci-Fi Universe) say how great a genre year 1982 was and that the industry needed to try to have another year like that where they took genre films seriously (unlike say 1995 where we got Waterworld, Casper, Congo, etc). Regardless of the origins of your column, I enjoyed it, especially the fact that you guys wrote about not just the big films of the year, but stuff like Creepshow.
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Aren't you the "FUCKING OUR EYEBALLS" guy?
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Feb 26, 2009 9:27:22 AM CST
DocP....why the fuck would the Bale TB bother you?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
I don't get it. A small group of TB'ers having fun, trying to set a record, and thats the fucking downfall of AICN? You weren't in there. Just ignore it. Go about your business elsewhere. I don't get why you would have such an issue with it.
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Its just like the old days again!
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I actually enjoyed them quite a bit. Which draft were you reading about "Spitting out a leatherman"? The drafts I read were dated up to 2004, so Ridley was no longer attached, but the scripts were still being written.
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And I believe we all know the wearisome fuckers of which you speak.
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The draft your read was still set in Los Angeles, right? And he had his fortress in the Hollywood Hills? I really love the idea Ridley had that they would be bandaged up. And there would be swarms of flies around them at all times-- thats how you know they are there, you hear the flies. I remember reading Ridley wanted the style of photography to look like a Gothic Italian painting, very very dark with shafts of light. He claims he ended using most of the approaches they were testing on Hannibal. Whether you like the film or not, that movie's photography is fucking beautiful.
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Still set in LA, he had his fortress, the vampires knew where he lived and came to his house every night, just like in the book. He had his garlic garden and the dog was still a player, his car was armored and had camera and uv-lights all over it. I got to see lots of concept art while I was there for I Am Legend, and some of the ideas tossed around was that they had developed their own caste system of sorts. But yeah, they had tattered clothes and bandages. Maybe some facial and body tattoo designs. Course the girl and boy are still in it to, though handled much much differently. I've still got a copy of that script back in my library too. Along with early drafts of Aronofsky's "The Fountain", a superior script for "Fantastic Four" and some ridiculous scripts for "Jurassic Park IV" and "Gladiator 2" where Maximus is brought back to life by the gods. Also an early draft for "Gladiator", which is very interesting to compare to the finished product.
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Ridley studies a lot of art before shooting a picture. Hannibal was like this gran guignol opera.
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ever on the net.
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10k posts of brotherhood and solidarity and TB'ers in every other TB are whining about us as they claw at each other's balls over last night's Lost episode.
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I assume it finally wouldn't load due to the length and veiny breadth of it?
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At least a dozen professional talkbackers converged there, several times a day, for the last month and posted some of the funniest, wittiest shit I've EVER read here. Sure, we got hung up on breaking a record. But by the time a record even occurred to us, we were already over 7,000 posts. And if you scroll through it, there are very few instances of spam. We even policed each other about it--the majority of posts were indeed original and brilliant.
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confirm that the sound snycing Night Owl/SS II fight sequence doing the rounds on the net is NOT how the actual movie is gonna end up? Is there a link that's properly synced, with the proper sound effects? If the clip we've all been seen really is accurate soundwise, I know it might seem such a small thing, but I'm afraid it's everything, and will render the film to most people as an EPIC SNYDERFAIL!
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That weird scifi synth sound as he flies out from his Owlship. I actually really dig it, though I'm not gonna cry to the heavens about it like Harry will.
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The Statham thing bugs me. But he's got Spartan and Redbelt in his Badass 100, and that spells Sainthood in my books.
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Yell it while youre fucking!
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Jesus Christ....who fucking cares. He's going for an 80s synth feel. I have no problem with that sound. That could really make or break a movie for you? Damn. -
Feb 26, 2009 11:19:20 AM CST
Harry mentioned a trip to Vegas in the orignal post.....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Feb 26, 2009 11:19:44 AM CST
Harry + Vegas Buffet = TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Feb 26, 2009 11:20:06 AM CST
STATHAM AS CHRISTIAN BALE IN WRATHRANT: THE QUICKENING
by stuntcock mike
IT'S LIGHTS OUT FOR THE UNIVERSE.
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the crap punch and kicking sound effects - completely tinny and out of sync
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Oh then what you saw was fucked up. I didn't see any punches out of sync.
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that it looks like this Watchmen film pretty well matches the tone and form of the comic? I mean, little differences aside it looks like they're really trying to be faithful with this one. And the squid thing - I understand people being bothered by that change but y'know, some things work better on the page than on the screen. The space squid thing always seemed a little too comic book-y to me - the one kinda sour note to an amazing story. The change they made seems like it could work a little better on the screen. But fuck it, really - I think we're getting treated to a pretty faithful, loving adaptation. And if you don't like it, well, it doesn't retroactively change the comics. You still have those.
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Manhattan: STATHAM
Night Owl: BALE
Rorschach: MICHAEL WINCOTT
Night Owl: F. MURRAY ABRAHAM
Silk Spectre II: ANNE HATHAWAY -
Who fucking cares? SEAN ASTIN.....there ya' go.
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Manhattan: SEAGAL
Night Owl: CHOW YUN FAT
Rorschach: WOODY ALLEN
Night Owl: SEAN CONNERY
Silk Spectre II: LESLEY ANNE WARREN -
...how many of these fuckers are there again? Salieri....you gotta go. Alright-- F. Murray for THE COMEDIAN. Or maybe...Michael Rooker.
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As long as she spends at least an hour of the film buck naked on all fours with her asshole and cooter facing the camera. That's what I'm talking about.
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at least I dont think. The day after the big baleback was first locked (intentionally prior to 10k. dont let them snowjob you on that), I loaded the page and was logged out of aicn. click the login button (my password was still saved in the form) and it wouldn't log in.
I dont think I was banned because all my posts are still on the site. Anyway, this account was actually my FIRST one, but I had lost the password and had to create ArcadianDS. When that one mysteriously stopped working, I was able to figure out my password for this one.
Lot of folks were puzzled - just setting it straight. I dont believe I was banned. -
they're bull baiting one another with one off comments about Obama and Sarah Palin.
Sarah Palin, guys? Seriously, she's still around?!?
They're so butthurt over the baleback that theyre trying ANYTHING to make a new lostback.
Reps for Bale said that when we get our season ending lost talkback, we are to initiate Operation "some other talkback" and race them to 10k.
Im willing to bet cash that BalebackII will outpace LostBackII. -
Jesus Christ, Pazuzu look at the size of that post!
Dude is so angry about the deposing of the LostBack that he's now trying to earn the title of 'biggest single post in the history of AICN'. -
That show is un-fucking-watchable. While the first season was fun because the flashback conceit was new, the second season congealed into a puddle of bloody jizz and subsequent seasons haven't been much better. Does anyone even write the show anymore?
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about this particular talkback here: I have consulted with the Book of Bale, and have determined that this talkback shows great promise.
what say you? -
we could fuck this shit up royale
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Kurt_Lockwood died so he could take Christian's place.
Now we need Moriarty to be a substitute for Kate and we're in the air. -
well, it might not be in Watchmen, but I hear that Kurt has something in the works that DOES feature a squid - with all kinds of inputs.
where's Harry's spies when you need em? -
Feb 26, 2009 11:56:17 AM CST
Well, I watched Lost last night for the first time in a while
by stuntcock mike
It was a recap episode. Christ, they have pop-ups at the bottom of the fucking screen to explain to you what your watching?! Fell asleep before the end. Had an excellent saurkraut dump first. Pretty good night, all in all.
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looked like a pussy with an eye in it and an asshole below it. So fucking weird and gross.
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not quite as much of a ringstinger as habanero shits
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Lee Marvin and Norris. Motorcycles with rockets on the handlebars. Now your talking my language.
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take that!
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Try MEGAFORCE if you want some awesome Bostwick-in-tights and motorcycle action. That shit will seriously make your precum rise.
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You cocksucking nonbeliever! Nah, just playin'.
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You were watching last week's episode of LOST, and it wasn't a recap. The new one came up after. What ABC does now is play last week's ep at 8 with popups for all the pple that missed it or don't get it. And trust me, there's a lot of them out there that need it. Like my mom.
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Feb 26, 2009 12:18:58 PM CST
Stuntcock + Vader's Mom = TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Blood and piss everywhere.
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Feb 26, 2009 12:23:19 PM CST
My poor Dad's still recovering from a slit throat Danny....
by stuntcock mike
That shit is professional.
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and bulges
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The slit throat is one thing, but the 8 story fall? While on fucking fire?!! FUCK. Only in South Africa could someone survive shit like that.
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The cunt was pissing blood for 3 months.
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Ah...here we are.
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Delta Force was good...but Megaforce is the flying warcycle movie you want to see. There has never been a hero like ACE HUNTER, don't you know. Deeds not words. Just like professionals.
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anybody seen the moon-head guy?
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in a fight between Megaforce and Delta Force. Oh wait, I know.
Bale. -
I'm still in the process of reading that story. THAT'S what fucking happen?!?
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and that movie was made for TV and its name was 'Galatica 1980'
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Feb 26, 2009 12:34:24 PM CST
When the force was with them, NO-ONE stood a chance!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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before entering her peach pie from behind. News at 11:00.
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I actually OWN Megaforce on VHS. Few people know this. My Dad knew, but Danny took care of that.
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Kiss fights their evil robot dopplegangers.
Bale triumphs. -
forget where from. Just a copy. I never watch it anymore. I just kind of look at it, and marvel at the sleeve art with Bostwick and Khambatti.
I did however see the original theatrical run at the movies when I was a wee professional of what, maybe 11 or 12? -
Feb 26, 2009 12:38:10 PM CST
Stroker Ace and The Raiders of The Stretched Shithole
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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I mean, about Javier playing Comedian. I don't think that's true, Friend-O.
Heads or tails. Call it. -
http://tinyurl.com/d4ur3v
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so says imdb.
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Feb 26, 2009 12:40:44 PM CST
DocP is gonna fucking piss when he sees us here.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Lost Legend of the Amazon. Both to be remade into one film. Starring Christian Bale as everyone.
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Well...ok. Can't read what he said but who here is unaware of how these things boil down to bare anonymous wish fulfillment of kicking everyone's ass on the planet. Most of you have traversed the political TB's and those are even worse altho there is no catharsis of humor typically. But, no coming in late and reading half arguments due to the banhammer. I don't even recall my first post (started as 'Cellar Door' back in the day) and even before that I was reading tb's. I don't even like my current incarnation but don't feel like being unrecognizeable by the few who might actually recognize me from other tb's.I've had a convo or 2 with Kurt and it was very interesting to hear his behind the scenes take on the set of "Home for the Holidays" (where I expressed my lifelong puppy dog crush on Holly Hunter, etc) and he mentioned Downey's work, etc. Very very interesting stuff.I also miss Mori's reviews and agree with the consensus on HF and hope all goes well for them and for Mori.That said, keep the glass half full folks! You may have your contentions with Harry or whomever...you're faith that we're in the decline of AICN but outside of the Ginger one bale-ing on us, I do not see how the sight is circling the drain. Yes, there hasn't been those purely kick ass events like Stallone and WalterB showing up to defend the diaper wearing DieHard 4. Sure, DocP, the Bale TB might be a slight personification of lunacy but what lunacy no? Over 10000 god damn posts! (pre-ban and pre-bandwidth cleaning)...No matter whatchu might say bout that, we're ALL participating, we ALL care about film/comics/geekverse, we ALL are very passionate if not remotely eloquent in our writings...and it could only happen here.Can you imagine all of us in a single room discussing this shit? People would be bleeding from the ass and there would be eyeballs all over the fucking place. And it's very likely they would only have orange juice with pulp in it and I can't stand pulp. Seriously, pulp = soup, not juice.
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Feb 26, 2009 12:42:37 PM CST
Same fucking guy-- I'm not asking...I'm TELLING YOU!!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
http://tinyurl.com/bgglgc
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They DO look alike.
I still plan on seeing Watchmen sometime next week. And although I read the graphic novel as a teen and have respect for that source material, I'm going to shout bale-isms at the screen. -
Well put, professional. Your secret decoder pin is in the mail. Remember to drink your Bal-O-Tine.
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And thats right....I do remember Kurt talking about Holly Hunter. He did stand-in work for mainstream films-- didn't he? I remember that TB. Lockwood was indeed a nice guy, but he fucking lost it in on Mori.
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Phantom Menace is going to rock faces in May.
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If you know what I'm saying. Give. It. She was the voice of Elastigirl, right? I'd give it to her for that alone, if you catch my drift. Give. It.
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Brother Lockwood will be missed. But he was fucking pissed and flung handfuls of pornstar wad at Mori for about an hour before he really reacted.
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Feb 26, 2009 12:47:55 PM CST
You know that weird lisp thing Holly Hunter has?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Yeah I gave her that.....by knocking her fucking teeth in with my dick. She now wears front dentures, which cause that whistle/lisp thing. Its sorta annoying....but it always reminds me of the good times. AWWWWW PARIS. The city of lights!!
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I saw Megaforce at the Drive in with my parents. Made 'em by me all the stupid toys. No Barry Bostwick doll though, I would've snapped up that piece of gay immediatly.
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Which would you rather double-team with? And keep in mind...balls will touch. Choose wisely.
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Curious.
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Feb 26, 2009 12:54:47 PM CST
"Can you imagine all of us in a single room discussing this shit
by d.vader
Truer words were never spoken.
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If you get my meaning. And by that I mean for a long time. I love "The Piano" too, by the way.
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Jesus....thats like saying you'd fuck the spit out of Jodie Foster in Nell.
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pulls his nad hairs tight when they do that.
I'll tell you the REAL story of how Holly Hunter got her fake caps that make her lisp. She wanted to do some research for her upcoming role in Crash, and asked if I could drive her around town, T-bone another car, and then a few days later make out with her in the wreckage.
everything went great but she knocked her teeth out on the dashboard.
it was still hot, tho. -
more like cell to cell using shaving mirrors extended through the bars to see each other's faces.
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More like "intense burning groin which can only be slaked by running crotch first into a wall of flaming cement." And I'm naked.
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whereas, DocP would stand on top of a pinball machines shouting "YEAH SHOW THAT COLLEGE BITCH YEAH YEAH DANNY GO YEAH" like a fag douchebag.
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Feb 26, 2009 1:02:50 PM CST
Michael Pere of course Danny. Only if he was singing though.
by stuntcock mike
"On the dark side.....ohhhh yeah!"
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Wait...I WOULD fuck the spit out of Jodie Foster in Nell. I'd be like a tay in da ween.
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But you do get more Holly Hunter skin in that flick than in any other. I mean, I really DO enjoy The Piano as a film. Its one of those that when its on, I can't help but watch it. The music is fucking beautiful. And I've never seen Nell.
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"hey Danny - whatchu think bout dat Holly Hunta honkey bitch, yo?" *holds out shaving mirror*
"She ah-eet I guess. Your cellmate is hot tho. Whuts his name?"
"Kurt Lockwood. But he all crazy yo. What about your new cellmate? Anything hot over there?"
Name's Earnest. Keeps standing in front of the damn mirror talking ta himself like Jimmy Cagney. Keeps callin me Vern and all."
"sheeeeet."
"word, yo." -
And not just the gay scene.
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All you CoCers, Balebackers, Professionals and what-not...you should take your crew to The Zone. Seriously. The Zone is more of your standard message board (avatars, sigs, and such). But more importantly, it is ripe for the taking. Believe me, if you guys rally there and take that place over, those Zoners won't stand a chance. Oh, they'll try to put up a fight, but they'll never see you coming. It could be the online coup of the century!
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Its the only time she ever makes any noise. That's pretty erotic.
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...well said, sir.
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and I dont mean that horrible horrible hip-hop flavo flav Spike Lee wannabe movie. I mean that horrible horrible yuppie jackson browne Stanley Kubrick wannabe movie.
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with Kurt Lockwood in a remake of Total Pinksock.
I dunno - I say its too soon. -
Feb 26, 2009 1:06:26 PM CST
Arcadian Del Sol, it's kinda like taht cell to cell thing now
by stuntcock mike
Without the mirrors. I could see all of us sitting in a room blabbing. 3 ounces of the purest White Vader. Drunk. Babbling. Happy.
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Something about that idea is very funny.
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but only because we can make Beverly Hills Ninja references when he walks by in his robes.
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Shit I didn't realize she was in that. I always thought Deborah Kara Unger was the big name female in that.
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Did you try writing TPTB about your locked-out account? Give it a shot. Your problem has been reported by several other Talkbackers. Give it a shot - the IT guys are responsive.Don't ever say that I didn't try and help you.
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With the power of Bale, there is nothing we cannot accomplish.
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I'm tell you, it will be money. Think about it. Get back to me.
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...I can't type today. Bloody typos.
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I've been in The Zone for just about a year now. Check out the OLEG thread. You guys should check it out.
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with your hosts: Danny Glovers Dick Blood and Arcadian Del Sol. Here's today's film list:
Mr Not-So-Nice-Gaius: The Kurt Lockwood Story - a movie about a struggling *ahem* member *ahem* of the movie industry and how he meets his end with an overly enthusaistic and closeted Lost fan from the internets
URP - the latest from Pixar, its the animated story of Harold Knowles, whose seemingly ordinary lap band turns out to be a time machine. Laugh till you cry while wondering where in time Harry's poop will appear next.
Then we have a fifty-seven hour Q+A with Sly Stallone where he answers every question you've ever asked in your whole life. Briefly followed by a single question with no answer and an abrupt departure via the fire exit door by Bruce Willis. -
first, please know that in talkbacks, Im only goofing. Like someone says earlier to Mori (and to which Mori totally missed the point), this is fun and games in here. I got no beef with you
As for IT guys, Im actually happy to have my original account back, so in the end, its all good for me. -
I've never been able to log in there. I think someone took my name or some shit.
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What a kind suggestion to silence us and shove us in the backroom.Again...what the fuck is the issue? You don't like the content of our conversations...so move on. We're not on the front page-- we're in one fucking TB.
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If you think talkbacks are out of step with internet tech, the zone wont be much better. Its just like talkbacks but with avatars and signatures.
I never saw where you could create threads there - just type into the ones that were created. and also, its so OVERLY DEPARTMENTALIZED. There are, just an off hand count, about sixty-four different individual forums there, each with two or three threads in them. Its just horrible. -
Several dozen actually. She spends about 40% of Crash bare ass nekkid.
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You mean, the Phantom Zone? How dare you make such a suggestion. KNEEL before Zod.
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Does your message in the BALE TB mean you're done with it? Because I don't know that I'll ever be able to do that.
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until you see her face. If I ever meet her, Im totally clawing that mask off and showing her lizard face to everyone in the room.
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Hhhmmmm....I've never understood the love for that chick. To me she looks like that Cat Lady with all the fucked up plastic surgery. A cross between her and Ron Perlman's Beast.
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I'm gonna make a song called "Fuck the zone". It's gonna go: "Fuck the zone / Fuck / the ZONE"; repeat
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A mac screen pops out with the face of your choice. Who the fuck am I kidding, her face is choice.
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except that time you wanted to make out. I was pretty damned agreeable then.
She's totally the daughter of Cat Lady. -
Yes. I think it does mean I'm done with it. There's not enough people in there. And I don't think there is anyway in hell we can get back onto the Top 10. So.....I think the war is finally over. Now we migrate.
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i.e. keep it in a big burlap sack.
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we haven't given up on Baleback. That mission is accomplished. Its now time to push onward to Berlin.
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I bet that pussy purrrs, hisses, and spits all over the fucking place when it gets excited. Its the only sex organ on the planet that can compete with Bale's Sizzling Cobra Cock. They were made for each other.
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Way to miss the point of my post. Talkback ain't about you Danny. So, quit taking everything as if it was directed as such.Look, the Zoners tend to think they are above AICN's regular Talkbackers. So, the idea of a fully committed onslaught in their home territory...well, just think of the possibilities.
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Asses will stretch.
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No worries. Cheers.
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I'll still visit now and then to lay flowers on the grave. But if we can't be in the top 10, life aint worth living.The only caveat is everyone has to acknowledge it as #1 FOREVER.
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just sayin - dude has posted porn and scat about 8 times now using tinyurl. I emailed the webmaster to no avail. Maybe its a job for the professionals.
make sure the webmaster(s) know that enderandrew is not welcome in this, or ANY dojo. -
No better place for unabashed madness.
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I just like to beat the living shit out of a dead horse. It's my creed; it's my way. I still feel like it was forcibly removed from the top 10 cause it was #2 then I woke up and it was gone. But fuck it. We won, then won again. Then won AGAIN.
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everyone on the couch while we electro shock our blood samples. We'll find the Zoner.
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Feb 26, 2009 1:33:06 PM CST
Listen, Nigella needs to be in that Total Recall remake
by stuntcock mike
6 of those tits would kill us all. Happily.
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Feb 26, 2009 1:34:23 PM CST
Secret Porn & Scat Links > Intercontinental Fisticuffs Threats
by thunderbolt ross
Or not? Personally I like to see Moriarty banning people on a site he doesn't write for anymore, cause it makes me more confident in my opinion that he's a dickhead. I need to feel confident - that's why I take drugs all night and day.
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Feb 26, 2009 1:34:24 PM CST
Yet I manage to spend 93% of my work day with youse guys
by stuntcock mike
Best job ever.
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did you know that you could stack bowling pins on one end, and drop a bowling ball on the other end, and the pins wouldn't fall over?
Nigellamams are awesome win. -
What's funny about the Zoners is that they will sometimes "descend" upon Talkback en masse just to start some random shite. I always thought it would be funny to see some Talkbackers return the favor.
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Zoloft + Talkbacks.
God help us all. -
lets not start a war that they can't finish.
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When the fuck did I try to make it just about me? I said quit trying to silence "US," as in you suggesting we should all just disappear into that black shithole "The Zone" and be forgotten. And you are posting here as a follow-up to Doc P's rant where he said, "I’m also talking about people taking what started out as hilarious talkbacks and turning them into utterly pointless “record breakers”." Describing something we do for shits and giggles as if its the downfall of this fucking site. Fuck that. We are pretty much the only thing interesting around here at the moment. And no-- NOT ME. All Professionals have solid fucking material. Its ridiculous we have to justify our fucking existence just because you two assholes need something new to cry about because no one gives either of you any attention these days and you pretty much bounce TB to TB in search of moderator's balls to suck. FUCK OFF WITH THAT BULLSHIT and pass the peach pie....beeeyatch. -
we should totally crash the gaybar that is AICN IRC. Not like we'd attract any attention - there's what - TWO GUYS in there at the most?
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I bet DannyGlovers would be a nominee for Captain Professional. Me? Im just glad to be a part of history.
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seriously - anyone else ever been in there? There's like 150 names signed in and nobody ever says a word.
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When I say drugs all day I mean illegal drugs. For instance, PCP makes you reallllllly confident.
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Holy shit is this bad.
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seen it in a movie.
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Feb 26, 2009 1:59:55 PM CST
I prefer White Vader(crystal meth) with a little Blow to cut the
by stuntcock mike
Makes you feel like Staven Seagal in Witness remake. Throw cunts through windows and build a barn single-handedly in between. Take a time out in between to furiously jack off to Kelly McGillis' bare Amish side-tit.
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This is nothing new. I'd wager most of us were "geeks" before being a geek was considered kewl. It doesn't matter where you go, people are filled with angst over their choices and thus must artificially validate themselves by attacking the choices of others. Dime story psych 101 bullshit.But that's one of the things I love about AICN...the delightful ability for someone to call someone else stupid while simultaneously misspelling the word "stupid".
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Whether it be stay here, migrate as necessary to other TBs, or stay on Node39976 and guard it with my life. *takes whiff of panties*
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Greatest fucking movie of ALL TIME. "Remember! KISS tonight. KISS tonight." Awesome.
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He keeps the gash's wet and prepped, and the bread box of White Vader stocked.....AND he cleans my pool.
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for pussyfarts. Are there any good terms for cockfarts? Other than "knowles?"
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for typing 'fuxxored' lol
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my favorite was when some douchebag here called me a moron
and DOUBLE POSTED IT.
We packed and boxed him and shipped him right to failtown. -
Kills him with single punch. Credits roll to Air Supply song. Men and women weep openly.
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http://tinyurl.com/b7td53
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This is a tough call, who is more cheesy, the phantom and his robots--or Ace Hunter with his gold lame and pastel purple headband? The only winner can be Bale.
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How did I try to "silence" you? Show me how my post implies that. My agreement with Doc's post has nothing to do with my suggested cource of action. But you just had to read whatever you felt like into it, didn't ya?Dude, you really need to quit tickling my balls. It's getting old and quick. One minute, you and I can address each other straight. The next minute, you jump down my throat. I guess that since I'm not on your current bandwagon, I must be slamming you. Is that it?Well, if you really want me to slam you, I will. Otherwise, grow the fuck up and try keeping your schizo shit straight.
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To remind me to stay on target.
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Who'd rip off our talismans?
Someone who wants power and wants to deny us ours. -
with all your yelling and bitching.
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Feb 26, 2009 2:20:34 PM CST
I will destroy you! All of you... and you, you KISS wil lbe my i
by stuntcock mike
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its fantastic! made of plastic!
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We don't work with a second act, Deveroux, besides, Armageddon is a lame group.
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DGDB was using hyperbole throughout his post, so the idea of you trying to silence us would fall in that category. If you read a few of Mr. Dickblood's pieces, you'll see his deconstructivist relativism often is expressed through hyperbole. This message is not approved by DGDB but IS approved by Christian Bale.
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confused
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Just mention a once-cool movie like Kiss Meets the Phantom, and it becomes the next flames on Optimus. Bale be praised.
Kiss Meets the X-Men and the Phantom of the Vengeful, Fallen Crystal Skull. -
He is the Bale of AICN, for sure. "You want me to go ban your fuckin' talkbackers? You want me to FUCKIN' BAN 'EM???" And then he bans them. Which is really one step further, since Bale never did trash those lights. So fuck me, Moriarty is now King Shit. The ultimate badass. Congrats. Now I see his shiny face walking around all da da da da, wielding a Banhammer, intimidating everyone at hitfix. It's like Chris Bale on the set of Batman 3: Batman Freaks The Fuck Out And He's A Movie Nerd.
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Haven't you read the Baleback pdf? It will calm your soul gently, the way a mother comforts a newborn. I read passages from it to my children when I tuck them in at night, Bale be praised.
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"Hitfix you got something to say to this prick?""010101011111000011110001"
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is as comforting as the scent of Andie McDowall's panties, or the milk of Holly Hunter's swollen bosom. Bale be praised.
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KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park is available in its totality on YouTube. I think you have to watch it in 10 minute chunks but it's so worth it. "STAR CHILD!"
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holy pdf file you speak of?
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reading of Baleback. It's the only stimulus package any economy needs. Bale be praised.
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"Uhhh, you don't fucking understand what it's like working with movie reviewers. You're banned, professionally."
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The blessed tome be here:
http://tinyurl.com/d8nlha
The password is the opposite of "amateur." Bale be praised, and may he bless you during this period of enlightenment. -
I mean, dude... I'm just saying. That's a rabbit hole you don't want to fall into.
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Arnold was costarring in The Expendables with Stallone AND Bale, my penis might spontaneously combust.
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I'm going to buy the Moriarty Criterion Collection. Sweet.
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It can burn you up like Belloq if you're not prepared. "IT'S BEEEEYOOOTEEFULLLLLLL!"
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and use it to ward off amateur spirits.
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http://tinyurl.com/bzc7gs
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no words can express..
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Don't Google that shit at work.
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should be followed by a a revisit of the classic, "Runaway" starring Tom Selleck as a robot-savvy cop up against Gene Simmons as a psychotic robot-tinkerer who develops a heat-seeking bullet and sends robot spiders after people. Bale be praised! Oh, and the girl cop in it is HOT.
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http://tinyurl.com/bagwlq
In other news, I'd like to bust a nut on Taylor Swift. Bale be praised. -
That movie fucking rocks. "SHEEEE-TARRRR"
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Check out "Saturn 3" with Harvey Keitel and Kirk Douglas, and Farrah Fawcett's chest.
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looks like they stole all of the props and setpieces from the first "Alien." Study these. Discuss. Bale be praised. Mandatory scifi for me includes Alien, Silent Running, Logan's Run, 2001 / 2010, the original SW trilogy, and Star Treks 1-4. And Matrix and Equilibrium, with Christian Bale.
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http://tinyurl.com/c7zfyf
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I watch Runaway and Wanted: Dead or Alive at least once a year. Gene Double Bill!
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what was that shitty robot's name? God that movie is so horrible. Yet wonderful. Not as good as the Black Hole but close.
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Check out Silent Running. So frakkin good. The Joan Baez music comes blaring out every so often and is really jarring. Very good.
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I cried at the end of that movie when I saw it as a kid. Poor robot.
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Yeah I cried too.
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kurt lockwood is (self-defined as) sympatico, spiritual, loquacious, megamerican AND patriotic. also edgy.
I haven't made it past the first page...too engulfed in adjectival, cognitive dissonance-induced awe.
oh yeah, don't think I'm qualified to point this out, but it also says he's PROFESSIONAL. -
and god DAMN is she amazing. Fuuuuhhh.
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Feb 26, 2009 3:14:45 PM CST
Little fairy looking dish that sings country....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....and stomps my fucking balls until I pop.
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with my frank and beans in her mouth
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the hilariously amazing country song about being 'so much cooler on myspace'
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wandering the talkbacks, trying to find a home.
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Feb 26, 2009 3:28:14 PM CST
You guys are so nasty you make me uncomfortable.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Feb 26, 2009 3:28:28 PM CST
There are those who believe that life here in these TBs
by klytus_i.m_bored
Began out THERE in the BALE TB.
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...becomes my home for no less than a week.
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Feb 26, 2009 3:32:14 PM CST
There are few things so nasty as the term "cream-pie"
by klytus_i.m_bored
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Which to us mere mortals means 12 guys popping on a female's face.
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The term "cream" makes me a bit queasy. As in "I creamed my jeans."
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What can I say? And a nice load on a good pair of tits is a turnon too. But the idea of jizz oozing out of the cootch - feh.
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In memoriam Valentine
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I don't like gravy.I remember I was watching a porn scene once where the chick started screaming "Blast that dick gravy all over my face!" And I nearly lost my erection. No joke. I could just visualize little bits of sausage in a dude's load.
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SILENT RUNNING, LOGAN'S RUN and THE BLACK HOLE. The Holy Trinity of so-bad-they're-fucking-AWESOME sci-fi flicks from back in the day. I love them all as if they were my children.
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Why don't you do the right thing for a brother and donate your other TB Handle to Kurzinski Valentine?
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That Tom Byron cat has sure got his priorities straight.
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It's just a tad bit easier to admit it to people now.
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Not joking - I'm tearing down the road, hearing an unfamiliar knocking noise in my engine, and suddenly there's a great big BANG, white smoke, and my engine block is a distant memory due to the huge hole at the front of it. Apparently losing a cam rod (is that right?) through a hole that should not be there is a BAD THING.
Naturally I pull the thing over and summon rescue, remaining cool throughout, as I am a Professional. (I did squeal, but only once, and it was very brief).
The most exciting things to happen to me since the Baleback. Me and that fucking car? WE ARE DONE PROFESSIONALLY!
Oh, and now I have to get a new car. And as the old one was a banger, so too will the new one be... -
In situations like that, always remember that you as a Baleback Christian are THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF HANDLING THAT SITUATION. There is no one else. Conquer life, and you shall conquer death.
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we are fast approaching top of the list once more. We've overtaken LostBack FailSauce Jr in total posts.
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LOSTBACK SHALL ALWAYS BE = BITCH MADE
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And have been for quite awhile.
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But you must realize those snakes that populate them parts are slippery. -
I came away with some batteries and DV cassettes. Fuckin' ass.
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but I realize the limitations of a Lost TB. First of all: No Bale. (Yet?)
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Wha happened?
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Have you ever had that thought, where you wondered if in life, a man ejaculated one sperm the size of say a catfish? I am haunted by this thought.
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Another one bites the dust?
I been away a few days and I come back to this shit.
Kurt Lockwood RIP - the motherfucker made it to the top of Baleback hill and now he's buried under it.
Why? Bale? Why take one of your own?
He's gone to a better place. Probably fucking Marilyn Monroe on a cloud right now while JFK cheers him on.
But damn, it's not right. I can't even read the comments that got him banned.
Why? WHYYYYYYYYY??????!! -
Stop implying that Kurt Lockwood is gay by saying that he'd be having sex with a man? Just because there are actual photos of him on the Internet with a man fucking him in the ass, that does not mean whatsoever that he's gay. I mean seriously, just because a man lets other people photograph him being fucked in the ass by another man's penis, and signs a contract which allows that photography to be shared with the entire world, that does not mean whatsoever that person is gay, right? I mean seriously guys it's so homophobic. Everyone knows that the only thing that clearly makes a man a gay is liking the movie 300. Thank you for your time.
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What's weird is, I don't even consider those movies to be so bad they're good. I simply consider them good. They're all sci-fi, which is right up my alley, plus each of the three you named have a menace about them--something sinister and creepy. Black hole for example, I saw that when I was like 8 at the movies and had nightmares for weeks. And it was a DISNEY movie!! About a mad scientist who MURDERED people and turned them into zombie-bots! Then of course you get the end with Reinhardt being merged with Maximillian. FUCKING CREEPY!
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But holyshit, the New Death Race 2000 is the best 1$ Blu-Ray Rental ever! Eventhough the plot is thinner then a Vivid Video production, this movie delivers the mindless goods to the highest attainable popcorn levels. Now back to my movie. "The 3rd stage is about to begin. Everyone subscribe now, only 99$, watch the race through the webcam of your favorite driver, and experience the action however you prefer it" AHAHAHAHA!
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Give me the original with a female-punching Stallone anyday! God I wish I grabbed that DVD when I had the chance, before I realized they were a small printing.
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Is it your site?
If so- nice. And good job on not hosting it on a Sega Saturn like AICN! -
KurtLockWood got banned? You serious? Man, I have been working my ass off this week and I come back to find we broke 10,000, that BALEBACK is locked and now KurtLockWood is banned. What else did I miss?
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I told you there could be reprocussions, though.
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You'll be very surpised. I rented it just for fuck of it, since Stephen King said it was one of his favorite movies of 2008. And it definitely entertained. A good bang for your buck! Redbox it ASAP!
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You aren't real talkbackers, you are just a bunch (=two or three) of annoying kids.1. The LOST talkback hit >10,000 posts ONE YEAR AGO -- and had actual content2. You losers, on the other hand, destroyed a mildly entertaining tb about Bale with absolut pointless nonsense.3. About KurtLockwood being banned: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!4. I hope DGDB follows soon.
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Motoko Kusanagi: "you arent real talkbackers"
And in other news, the pot was overheard calling the kettle black. -
Conti - aint work a bitch, always getting in the way of the more important things in life!
Yes, we crept the Baleback up to 10,000 - rather fittingly Abom's Profes1000nal post was the 10,000 but then it locked again.
However it did still allow you to post, although the comments didn't appear.
If you want to see some of the discussion that happened around then , then look through this talkback and also 'Harry's Gagged about Watchmen' talkback.
When Kurt Lockwood got banned (apparently for arguing with Mori) all his posts were deleted, and as happened with Kurzi it freed up some space and node 39976 was recussitated. So you can now see most of the posts that were 'invisible' before.
So there you go... mission accomplished. I think you and Abom put more into that than any of us.
A letter from the President, a knighthood from the Queen, and a pair of Andie's panties are in the post. Well done sir. -
"The LOST talkback hit >10,000 posts ONE YEAR AGO...." Babe Ruth held the home run record 37 years before Roger Maris - just like Lost holding the record, both are moot points.
"...and had actual content." Yes, because everyone knows that spamming "Doing it for Locke" is both insightful and creative.
As for "destroying a mildly entertaining tb about Bale with abosul (sic) pointless nonesense," I think of that when I read your post here. -
Thank you for the praise, but I did no more than any other professional, and probably did less. I was a Johnny-Come-Lately compared to some. But that was the beauty of the BALEBACK - all was accepted.
The other great thing is that it looked upon a man with limited imagination and understanding of spelling and grammar, and allowed him to write ridiculous stories about the PROFESSIONALS and consider it high art. One of these days I am going to upload all of them for my fellow PROFESSIONALS so they may enjoy the sweet memories of when Abominable Snowcone had his legs blown off in front of the Brains, trucker Cobra--Kai racing his rig against that no-good smokey Sheriff Bale, and the adventures of the late Kurzinski Valentine, Agent of B.A.LE.
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"you're not real takbackers"
Aaaaaaaas opposed to the twat who posted the same lame AVATAR "joke" so fucking often that even James Cameron is sick of hearing about that fucking movie.
You wrote the book on spamming, fucknugget. Piss off back to the fetid pool you slithered from and leave this Talkback to the REAL PROFESSIONALS!!! -
I LOVED that movie! Yeah, maybe I was a bit young to understand how bad the acting is (I was 9 when I saw it) but I DID see the B.O.B. and V.I.N.CENT robots in some mag like LOOK-IN, and loved the look of them. Then I watched the movie, amd yes - that fucking weird ending scared the daylights out of me! I also like that Disney have (so far) resisted the idea of doing a THE BLACK HOLE prequel where we discover Maximillian was in fact a whiny, sulky food blender that had the power of the Force before he got turned into the biggest villain in the movie. Honestly, I think Maximillian is so under-rated as a villain, I'd have to put him up there with Darth Vader as one of the most nightmarish figures of my childhood. What an iconic design, as well.
We need to give Maximillian the props he deserved!!!
Oh, and LOGAN'S RUN? To ANYONE who'd say that's not a classic movie, I say three words:
JENNY AGUTTER'S BREASTS.
Yeah. Spud wins. -
Yeah, I cried when one of the robots got it. And I cried at the end too. What a wuss. What a fucking awesome movie.
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Like so many tears in the rain, then poof...they've gone again. And HA DE HA HA on the Lostback being anything as original as the Baleback of awsomeness (to give it its full name). It took you months and months to get any serious numbers on there. The Professionals trashed the fuck out of our TB in 3 weeks.
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Feb 27, 2009 6:13:48 AM CST
The Triumverte of Silent Running, Black Hole, and Logans Run
by col. tigh-fighter
Should be required geek watching. And Jenny Agatuer in skimpy outfit was most lush indeed.
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Hey, you Cylon bastard! How you doing?
Hope you're stil tapping that sweeeeeet Caprican ass... -
There'd be no movie. Bale would gun-kata the entire Sandman squad in one deft, spectacular action sequence. The remaining hour and twenty minutes would be Bale single-handedly repopulating the entire surface world, starting with Jenny Agutter and Farrah Fawcett.
SILENT RUNNING: Bale takes the VALLEY FORGE back to Earth, replants the trees BY HAND, then gun-katas to death all who decided to jettisons the tree domes in deep space. Then he takes the Emperor of Earth seat for himself and declares the world BALE'S WORLD. NO-ONE dares to oppose this.
THE BLACK HOLE? Easy. BALE IS MAXIMILLIAN. -
Have to go earn me a crust. Especially after the whole "old battered car exploding on me" thing from yesterday. But I shall be thinking of you all.
Nah, that's a lie. I'm thinking about Jenny Agutter's sweeeeeeet boobies in that ice corridor sequence.
Have at it, Professionals. TAKE THIS TB FOR BALE!!! -
Feb 27, 2009 6:30:34 AM CST
Spud, my man, Ive been tapping the Six all week long
by col. tigh-fighter
Certainly did my head anyway....... Over the admirals desk seems favourite ;)
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What is "pointless" is subjective. It's nice that the Lost TB hit 10K over a year ago. The Bale TB hit well over 10K, probably closer to 13K because they kept deleting posts. We have the record now. Deal.
But the important thing is, for those who contributed, it was anything but pointless. Sure, there was a lot of humor in it, some of it juvenile, some puerile. But it was all very fun and kept us coming back and feeding off each other. If it didn't interest you or some others, that's cool. The post was originally about Terminator, which stars Bale, and after the release of his "rant," that's what the TB became about--and it did so rather naturally, without us forcing it there.
I guess what I'm saying is, it's not really for anyone to police a TB and say "this is dumb" or "all this is nonsense." To each his own. Unless of course someone is spamming. That's a no-no. But the Baleback actually contained very very little spam. It's mostly original, and brilliant, content.
Bale be praised. -
In a way, Equilibrium IS Bale as a Sandman. It's the same story--a guy in a dystopia whose job it is to enforce the status-quo, and he comes to learn that what he was raised to believe is either wrong, or doesn't have value, or that there is simply MORE to life. And he finds only he has the power to change things and catalyze a revolution.
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Jenny Agutter was masturbatory fodder for all boys in 1976-77. They should sell those powder blue togas.
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Her mouth is full. Of me.
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won't be back to campaign for Bale until this afternoon. But his teachings shall be in my spirit. I'll show those pricks.
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If Motoko Kusanagi is a real talkbacker, I'd rather not be anyway. Actually I'd rather not be either way.The Bale TB was a mildly entertaining TB because of the ARTISTS who then took it to the next level. Yes that's right - the first instance of serious TB ART.And also took it to the NUMBER ONE TALKBACK OF ALL TIME. RECOGNIZE THIS AND WE MAY LET YOU CONTINUE TO POST IN OUR MORIARTY TALKBACK.Fuckin' ass.
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Very eloquently put :) Professionals rule. The only group of TB'ers with their very own gif! http://i43.tinypic.com/oedee.gif
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is that .gif safe for work?
Professionals take over other talkbacks when they feel they are becoming "amateur" -
LOL....yeah,sure...amidst the dick jokes and jizz references.
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We're here to help
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Somebody is missing from your otherwise professional gif.
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It may have been Conti or Ironic_name who did it. We need a new gif for the final tally of Professionals, including fallen comrades.
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There will not be internecine professional warfare, no sir.
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At least that was until AICN did that great server migration that wiped out many a classic TB (i.e. Vern vs. Demon Dave, etc.) along with nearly every post on AQU@FAG.
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Thats fucking righteous man!! Did that come up before or is this the first time? First time I experienced it. And yes.....my viewing ended with a nice meaty POP!
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http://tinyurl.com/ao6ln8
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Feb 27, 2009 9:49:22 AM CST
Danny - It got posted on the Baleback a while back lol
by col. tigh-fighter
I bookmarked it due to its immense coolness :)
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....he looks like some fucking kingpin from Vice City.
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Thanks for the laugh fucker.
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I don't really recall. It may actually be the latter.
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And I just made the mistake of googling Lockwood. Yeah...I feel more than a little gay right now.
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Lockwood was all man baby. Just because he fucks dudes in the asshole doesn't mean he's not craving the twat when he does so. Its all to make that paper.
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A couple of seasons ago on Entourage they did a episode where Vince went to Comic-Con in order to pimp the fact that he was playing Aquaman. The writers of the story decided to include a character based on Harry Knowels played by Rainn Wilson who plays Dwight from the Office.If I remember correctly the Harry character didn't like Vince to begin with and then Vince blew off an interview to pour the pork to Mandy Moore his Costar on Aquaman. That made the Harry character lose his shit, rant like crazy about his power in the industry and vow to ruin the movie and called it Aquafag.The best part was how they made it up to him. They sent three porn stars with strap ons to his room. Viola, good review from the Harry character.
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This time without hitting the enter button.So in true TB fashion the Tbers latched onto the Auquafag phrase and rode it up to 13,ooo= posts. The replacement of the a with the ampersand was because somebody complained loudly about teh term Auquafag. It have been one of teh mods or a Tber i don't remember that part of teh story. So, there you go, the down and dirty history of Aquafag.
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I thought it sounded familiar. I remember watching that episode. Thanks for clearing that up. And Danny I actually didnt see that. I just went on his myspace and saw a bunch of shirtless pics of him. That was enough to do it.
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Good to see you, sir. Great job on the Aquafag recap, too.One of the funniest things I remember about that Talkback was there was a segment where guys were talking about what kind of socks they wear and why they prefered certain cotton meshes over others. Totally random and hilarious.The beauty of that TB was that nothing like it had occurred on AICN before.
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Feb 27, 2009 10:25:49 AM CST
Please excuse the mispelling and bad grammer in my last post
by xiphos_2
I'm fucking illiterate.
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The bandwidth must have been much more leniant back then with a much smaller archive and less of drain. There's no doubt we could have taken the Baleback to 15k eventually if we were allowed. Oh well......at least AQUAF@G is #1 and we are #2. Lostback.....suck my balls.
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Orcus answers the clarion call
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In my heart we are #1. 20k would not have been out of the questions, seeing as how HIS power was driving us. All other TB's feel so empty
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Yeah I think it got close if not passing over the 13G mark. I was good for like 1000 post myself in that one, of course then I got bannd, and they disappeared. like Mr. Nice Gaius( Hello) pointed out, when they migrated servers most of it disappeared.The silliest part of the whole Auquafag thing was that it was dying off when whoever it was complained about the fact that Aqufag was in the story headline on the main page, so they changed it to Auqquaf@g, which then reignited the whole thread and lifted it to it's lofty post count.ORCUS! What's up homeboy! Been a long while.
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Hail! We haven't seen you in awhile.Do you recall if Aquaf@g was archived after that huge server debacle? How much of the original post was left?
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was how Harry was so sure that this was all because someone at Entourage liked the site and was a big fan.uh no, dude. It was so not that at all. Its like the unpopular weird kid who thinks he's part of the fun when everyone is making fun of him, laughing along and saying "you guyyyyys haha" when in reality, he's not actually part of the fun at all.
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Did the posts stay consistent? Was every post published as an offering?
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Yes Orcus is alive, but has been spending a butload of time plaing online games on Facebook. Getting back to Aquaf@g, what remains is but a pale comparison to it's former glory. Admiral Kirk and a few others kept the flame alight on that thread until a few bannings seriously deflated it
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13000 is for aquaf@gs. Fuckin' ass.
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Fuck no.
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Feb 27, 2009 11:29:55 AM CST
The Baleback had sonnets, Hiako's, a graphic novel, gif's, and s
by col. tigh-fighter
All original un-scripted talkback fried gold from the Professionals! All hail the Baleback. WHAT DONT YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?
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Feb 27, 2009 11:30:56 AM CST
Moriarty is a non-believer now. But its not too late.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
EVEN HE CAN BE TORN FROM HIS FOUNDATION WITH THE POWER OF CHRISTIANITY!! LONG LIVE LORD BALE!
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That TB is fucking amateur.
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Except I'm not in it :( sniff, sob. At least Klytus was a poodle, Bale be praised.
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I'm not in it either, so don't sweat it. Though I daresay you are in the running for Baleback MVP. I dare fucking say.
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and a novella. It had artwork (like a drawing of Iron Captain Spider-Bat) and poetry. It had Andie McDowall's panties and Aunt Beru's sweet downhome country peach pie. It had white vaders, red yodas, and purple chewies. It had blue Landos and otter-juggling. In short, it became a repository for intellectual property and enriched us all with aesthetic goodness.
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It doesn't bother me--I'm sure that gif was a "found" sort of thing, and there's at least a dozen professionals, so it's not like everyone could be represented. I like it though, especially how it coalesces into an image of Lord Bale.
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I posited last night that he was the new Bale. Since then I've taken the whip to my own back every other hour on the hour. Self-flagellation > Self-fellation. Fuckin' ass.
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http://tinyurl.com/cacfvc
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to send a copy of Node39976 on the next rocket or shuttle that doesn't explode.
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It sort of broke out along the following lines. About a third of the comments were railing on Harry for being a sell out, taking a shot in the can from strap on sporting porno chicks and making fun of Comic Con. The next third was making fun of the mods for changing the name of the TB from AquaFag to Aquaf@g.The last third was wildly random posts about anything and everything so it did lack the focus of the Baleback. I also think it was among the first TB with multipal bannings. The ban hammer seemed to fall fast and frequently in that TB, at least that's how I remember it. I could be wrong though.
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....a man without a God to worship is like a man with a gift, but no dream.
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was a little more Rambo:
http://tinyurl.com/2q8okk -
in the event of an emergency or near-fatal crash, I can reach in the glove box and read soothing passages as I leave this earth.
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Between the post above about God and the post about Don Johnson in the Green lantern TB. For those who missed this vital piece of insight from Mr.Dickblood I will take it upon muself to cut and past it here. I cried when I read it. Yeah I'm secure enough to say I cried, deal with it.Mr. Don Johnson didnt have time.........to make it on the big screen. A faceful a cunt and a fistful of ass were occupying most of his time for about 12 years. That's fucking beautiful man. Somewhere Christian Bale is sporting massive wood because of that slice of poetry.
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While I would love to take credit for that, it was all the brainchild of the talented ironic_name, who also put one of my professionals stories to comic book form.
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Feb 27, 2009 12:05:00 PM CST
Brother Xiphos-- ever wonder how Bale maintains that physique?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
The might answer your question. This is a photo of the actual framed portrait nailed to the ceiling in Bale's home gym.
http://tinyurl.com/d4tr7c
Even God's need a spotter. -
I guess I have to see it again. I just remember thinking it was pretty damn good. I felt so sorry for that one lone robot (but not for the double amputee inside him).
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Don Johnson was like the crazy monk that paved the way for The Bale. That is if monks got more ass then a toilet seat.
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that I personally thought Silent Running was just plain good. I thought Bruce Dern was good, but felt the idea of a botanist-dude who decides to kill his crewmates was a little farfetched ONLY because someone with those convictions should have, and WOULD have made clear to everyone from the get-go that "Hey, if you mess with the plants, I'm going to protect them at all costs, because once they're gone, they're gone."
Bale be praised. -
Dont matter who 70's they looked, the story was brillaint in both. Now Black Hole, that ones so cheesy that it became good lol. I had the picture book of the movie when I was a kid. I know these things :)
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never before or again will you see a Disney film in which a selfish fat guy gets blown up in a spaceship, a scientist gets murdered by a robot's hand propellor, or a psychotic astromer makes an army of clones out of a former-human crew that he murdered. What a creep-fest.
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It's a Cuban refugee named Fernando. He uses an antique copper spyglass and rides a Vespa. He has a bit of a drinking problem but he usually can resist until after sunset. Never ask him about Rosa Maria and and the last time he celebrated Dia De Los Muertos.
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I had one just like it, only it got spunked up from jerking off too many times on it.
Bale be praised. -
that Outland wash the besht schience fiction shtory evah.
If he were in front of me, I would agree with him, for fear he'd hand me my own ass in a basket. -
with Christian Bale. It could just be the two of them in a cockpit for ninety minutes, pushing buttons, pulling levels and throttles, and saying scientific shit.
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Does Moonraker qualify as a "science-fiction" movie? Does "Airplane II?" I left a message on Bale's machine asking him these questions, but he must be busy relieving third world debt because he hasn't gotten back.
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Two days ago was ash wednesday. She asked me, "Daddy, what is Lent all about?"
I said, "Christian Bale." Then I showed her this photo:
http://tinyurl.com/bagwlq -
And Outland was was corker of a film, mish moneypenny, Even if it is a direct rip of High Noon in space ;)
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Feb 27, 2009 12:58:46 PM CST
Awwwwwww FUCK.....that pic of Jesus Bale man.....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
.....I've never seen such an insanely funny horrible image like that.
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.....just hoping "Oh please let this link be Jesus Bale....please let it be Jesus Bale," and I click it-- and BAM, its like a shower of vaginal fluid spraying all over my face mixed with sausage weiner gravy and tart peach pie fallopian tube bile.
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Feb 27, 2009 1:01:05 PM CST
the creepiest part about The Black Hole: its marketing
by arcadian del sol
they raffled off Robbie The Robot toys on Saturday morning kid's cartoon shows. they ran ads for the movie during Speed Racer and Blue Falcon.
Then parents took their 6 year olds to see a cool Disney movie that they assumed was going to be another Star Wars, and instead, they got a Hitchcock film on a space station.
I remember being absolutely terrified by it, and traumatized to no small degree by the ending. -
I think that's a scene from Evil Dead II, as I recall.
-
Feb 27, 2009 1:05:11 PM CST
Whatever happened to I LOVE A GOOD COCK TEASE?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Remember that guy? He was constantly horny and grinding against the foundation of every TB. Pretty hilarious. I don't think he got banned. He never really targeted anyone, just said he wanted to fuck anything in sight.
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"Daddy--why is that man inside the robot now? What is all the fire?"
"Well darling, they're inside the black hole now, and the fire is allegorical of HELL and because Dr. Reinhardt MURDERED ALL THOSE FUCKING PEOPLE and turned them into ZOMBIES, he's in HELL inside Maximillian for his FUCKING SINS.
"Oh." -
When I show them the holiday classic SANTA'S SLAY -- starring Bill Goldberg. http://tinyurl.com/cmy4mv
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Feb 27, 2009 1:19:14 PM CST
Jesus Christ...The Black Hole sounds fucking awesome.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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It's worth renting, or DLing, or whatever, for shits 'n giggles. Made in 1979, it has several scientific inaccuracies (like people breathing when they've been exposed to the vaccuum of space) but it's fun because it's a VIOLENT METAPHYSICAL SCHLOCKY movie from DISNEY Of all places. In which people get FRICKIN MURDERED and DESCEND into HELL.
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So is Anthony Perkins, and Maximillian Schell as THE FUCKING EVIL SCIENTIST who KILLS PEOPLE in a DISNEY movie.
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Its voice, anyway. I mean, that's FUCKING CAESAR and CORNELIUS from Planet of the Fucking Apes right there, man. Bale gives thumbs-up on Roddy.
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That's Santa! That's Santa! I KNOW HIM!! SANTA!!
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Irwin Allen = PIMP MADE Here's proof!! http://tinyurl.com/chk4hm
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That Borgnine and McDowell were in both Poseidon Adventure and The Black Hole? No, Bale must have decreed it for some reason.
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I think I saw it when I was realllly little, and I remember it being freaky. However the descriptions here sound much better than it probably is. Maybe better just to imagine it based on those. Mmmmmm
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New York, Aug 14 (ANI): Hollywood legend Ernest Borgnine has revealed that he used to visit whorehouse once a month, during his days in navy.
During an interview on ABC News Radio, the 90-year-old veteran actor recalled his navy days when they used to eat Chinese food and go to a whorehouse once a month, for just 2 dollars.
“Listen, I was an ordinary fella, y”know . . . but in those days you only paid two dollars, the New York Post quoted him as saying.
When asked about whether those two dollars were for whorehouse or Chinese food, he said, “Oh, for the whorehouses. But first of all, we”d go get a bowl of Chinese, y”know, shrimp, shrimp and fried rice that was my favorite . . .
It’’s one of those things that men have to do and, uh, and in those days I wasn”t responsible to anybody, except myself and to the Navy of course,” he added. (ANI)
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getting some shrimp-stank on his hang-low.
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It is freaky. It's zombies in space.
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Feb 27, 2009 1:47:33 PM CST
A Man's Man devours shrimp and Asian cunt.....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....in one sitting....without wiping his mouth in between.
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Feb 27, 2009 1:48:37 PM CST
vaginal fluid spraying all over my face mixed with sausage weine
by stuntcock mike
Danny, this is why you are my hero.
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vs. Henry Winkler vs. Mario Kassar (just because)
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Fucking L button, Bale damns thee.
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did he use chopsticks, or a spoon, or just hand-feed himself?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEhKZNQlJrY
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Feb 27, 2009 1:58:28 PM CST
Jesus guys, I just had the most fucked up lunch of my life
by stuntcock mike
Fries. Chili. Gravy. Cheese. Ketchup. Death.
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but you will THANK me for that youtube clip. You'll be showing it to your grandkids one day.
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I like the hot blonde on the couch in red. She's like, "I want him inside me. NOW." And last I checked, Ernie is still alive. Because he jacks off.
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VS. PAUL ALLEN****"Why are their copies of the style section all over the place, d-do you have a dog? A little chow or something? "
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How do you kill Ernest Borgnine?
There are only two ways: Either chop off his hands, or have Christian Bale murder him. Other than that, he is completely invulnerable and immortal. -
on the Tonight Show. 15 years of movies and tv and radio and Art Donovan on the tonight show was the king of soundbytes, and then in one fell swoop - whoooosh, Ernest Borgnine takes the crown.
They should create a bronze statue of all four of them in that studio, and stick it on Beverly Hills Blvd. -
Do you like Huey Lewis and the News? In 1987 they released their greatest album, FORE. The songs are optimistic and feature a professional sheen and confidence, possibly inspired by the success of 1983s Sports. Try getting a reservation at Dorcia's now, Paul YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE
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Feb 27, 2009 2:04:41 PM CST
I'm trying to listen to the new Robert Palmer tape
by abominable snowcone
But Evelyn keeps buzzing in my ear.
-
Feb 27, 2009 2:06:57 PM CST
I shall go home and dream of Kay Parker's melons tonight
by stuntcock mike
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Feb 27, 2009 2:08:26 PM CST
I semm to be on a huge tit crusade in the last few weeks
by stuntcock mike
more than usual
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You say that like it's a problem or something.
Bale be praised. -
Bale be praised some more.
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You can start by wiping that fucking dumb-ass smile off your rosey, fucking, cheeks! Then you can give me a fucking automobile: a fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick! Four fucking wheels and a seat!
And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile in my fucking face. I want a fucking car RIGHT FUCKING NOW! -
....and in sashays Paula Dean with sausage gravy leaking out of her gaping nipple holes.
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Feb 27, 2009 2:27:07 PM CST
I've always been believed you should FEAR THE TITS.....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
.....to respect the tits.
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that girl gots some sweatermeat.
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studio insisted on a title change. Sorry, bro.
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for the night job. May Bale smile upon the professionals this weekend
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So says Bale, so say we all. Unless you are Harry - the only thing he leaves on Friday is bed. Its Bath Night.
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for you to be played by Bale, rocking faces in May 2009.
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but the Baleback does not leave me. Node 40229 is the new nexis.
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You fueled the fires of Hell and fanned them with the time of day. And this is your WATCHMEN talkback. I'll not say 'shame on you' because that would suggest that I'm an asshole, which I'm not. Nor am I a porno stalker. What I will say is I'm a bit disappointed with your review of WATCHMEN and Harry's. It's not as critical as I was hoping but at the same time, it's not as forgiving as well. Does that make sense? Which is appropriate! Because no matter what you wrote about WATCHMEN, it's not going to please people. Your review was, to an extent, great, as was Harry's. But lacking as well! However, this film isn't 'critic proof' like a STAR WARS film, for example. So you do need to review this film only as a film which you didn't do. Nor did Harry. Yes, source material is relevant but IS able to be separated from a review of a film - something you and Harry and a host of others failed to achieve at at all. You both littered your review with 'personal memories and history' and all that which is not what WATCHMEN is about at all. I'm not saying I could do better. I just thought you two would have erred on the side of objectivity instead of subjectivity. That's all I was asking. And you both blew it.
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what happened dude? you fall asleep for 4 days or what?
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Hey, the gangs back together!
And talking about vaginal fluid spraying over Ernest Borgnine's face. Nice! -
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/08/14/ernest-borgnine-i-masturb_n_118938.html
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dude, we posted links to the video like, this morning. Huffingtonpost sucks.
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Haven't you learned anything :)
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Feb 27, 2009 3:28:05 PM CST
It seems the Green Lantern TB adopted our style.....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....instead of discussing the actual topic-- they are discussing penises and cum shots. Nice.
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The Watchmen are an elite group of men and women employed by Christian Bale to prevent amateurs from distracting him. That's the plain and simple truth.
Now... BRING ME BORGNIIIIIINE!!! -
...so that I may use the scent of cheap Chinese pussy to track down the fucker that killed my Father.
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i just got this message (?) from Taylor Swift and friends wishing you all triumphant fucking weekends, etc etc http://tinyurl.com/btg6eg Later gents
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He's tight with Borgnine. So don't fuckin insult him.
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who do you think ordered the shrimp fried rice?
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Taylor Swift photo... two out of three aint bad.
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lets watch now long until AICN notices.
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Orcus just came back from hanging with Earnie. Let the ho's and fried rice flow!
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SO THAT I MAY FUCK IT.
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Monsters Inc 2 rated 18. Starring Ernest Borgnine as 'The Sushi Slurper'.
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Monsters Inc 2 - where'd you hear about that Arc? (not that im a particular fan of the first, but as you say it'll be fun to see how quick AICN are).
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Trust him.
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How many more fucking times must I put you right! NIGELLA LAWSON IS MINE AND MINE ALONE!
Obviously Lord Bale may intervene whenever and however he chooses.
You're a nice guy, Stuntcock, you're a nice guy - BUT THAT DON'T CUT IT WHEN YOU'RE MOVING IN ON MY NIGELLA DOWNHOME COUNTRY PEACH PIE!
Fuckin' ass... -
Saw that for the first time on New Year's Eve this year. Funniest fucking movie I've seen in a while. Not brilliant production values, downright stupid story, but that scene with James Caan at the beginning...
"I don't wanna fuck the bird, I wanna eat it."
Well worth a Netflix. -
When I said that LOGAN'S RUN, SILENT RUNNING and THE BLACK HOLE are so-bad-it's-good movies... I'm actually more referring to the way the critics received them than what I actually think. I've read the first two of the three LOGAN books, and though it's remarkably different, I think LOGAN'S RUN is very intelligently written and quite ahead of its time (and yep, Abom, I see how much EQUILIBRIUM ripped from LOGAN'S RUN and 1984 - but what a movie!). I think SILENT RUNNING is one of the most eloquent statements about environmentalism that has ever been put on film - if that movie came out today, it's be fucking HUGE. (It's probably also be made by Rolan Emmerich, so - swings and roundabouts, really. Let's leave it in 1973 where it belongs). The only really bad movie was THE BLACK HOLE, which is still good enough for a 9 year old - droids, spaceships, a fucked up ending! Perfect!
Anyway, they're all great in the book of Spud. As are TERROR VISION, KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE, and the first TROLL... my favourite REALLY so-bad-they're-awesome movies! -
THat happened to me yesterday. I just stood in the corner spinning around, saying "da da da da" over and over, and everyone soon came back. Try that next time you're in need.
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If you're still watchin... I'm pretty sure it was "AQUAF@G", but check Blackjack x 1,000 for yourself.
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would appear to be having the mods jump in and chastise the talk-backers for bad behavior. See above posts about Aquf@g and Harry's defense of Sir Bale in the Baleback.
Come on Harry, Quint somebody tell us what naughty, naughty boys we are. -
Feb 27, 2009 10:49:02 PM CST
THE WATCHMEN is about a group that Spud Mcspud belongs too
by continentalop
Spud, Stuntcock Mike and the rest of that group get to WATCH as I have a taste of NIGELLA LAWSON'S peach pie.
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God, it is a professionals reunion here.
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Just wondering
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definetely in the so bad it's funny category
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definetely would love to see her full of cock
oh yeah looking forward to Watchmen -
You are talking about that yummy mummy from England who can cook ?
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I'm going to pretend that anal story is true. And I'll pretend Christian Bale is the one who leaked it. Cause He WOULD do something like that.
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And I mean a 10.
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It aint working, Thunderbolt Ross!
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To a Volkswagen commercial.
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Thought a few of you might appreciate it.
http://tinyurl.com/aldug2 -
http://tinyurl.com/d3km4u
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But did you REALLY stand in the corner? Shit.Chris Bale got eliminated from American Idol the other night, I don't know if anyone saw that. When informed of this fact, Bale leapt off the stage toward the judges, scissor-kicked Simon Cowell, poked Randy Jackson in the eye, pulled Paula Abdul's hair and called the new lady a "fuckin' ass" ... Of course, he also trashed the lights.
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I just wish she would get a smaller strap-on.
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No more echelon conspiracy flash video!
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I've been coming here daily since like 95-96 when pretty much the only places on the world wide web for film news was here and Coming Attractions and this is my first ever Talkback post.
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...I'd get the personal story that nobody gives a shit about out of the way first like I was one of the editors.
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I was just like you, em tee em. Thinking about Corona is like a time warp to 12 years ago. I'm glad to see the site is still up and running (in a new way too), but I wish it still had all those old pages with all the crazy rumors and ideas that used to go with each movie. I remember being hyped up for the Jurassic Park sequel with the tantalizing hint that a T-Rex might step on a human its chasing down a hill.
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I hated when it changed. So sad.
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em_tee_em congrats on breaking your cherry with post one.
Congrats on using a swear word in post two - you're a fast learner. I think you're gonna do just fine at AICN... -
Why now? And the fact that your post is completely self-referential is interesting as well. It's not as if some crazy argument drew you in. Seems random.
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I seem to recall that I finally did have something to say like two months ago, but registration was closed so my brilliant comment had to go unheard. When I saw registrations were open again I jumped on it because it wasn't fair to you to deprive you of me. Who knows... I might well have a second thing to say ten years from now.
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...where's the damned edit button?
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The only problem is that it's WAY too short. I can tell that alot of scenes with dialogue, and the side characters was taken out. Like the newstand scenes with the two Bernards, some of Malcolm's scenes might of been taken out, and so forth. Rorshach's back story wasn't as poetic as it was in the GN, even though it still captured that disturbing and fucked up tone that was apparent during that chapter. The characterizations of the characters were very well established, and gave the film some real depth. The technical qualities of this film is vastly superior to "The Dark Knight", "Iron Man", and even "Hellboy 2." I don't think it's as great as "The Dark Knight", but the film isn't complete yet in my opinion. I hope those extended cuts will show this films greatness. Because it has already captured the essence, tone, and depth of the GN. It might of emphathized a bit much on the sex, and violence. But it also served a big purpose for the characters, and the violence was surprisingly disturbing, intense. Not entertaining, and funny like "300."
So my rating for "Watchmen" is an 8.5/10. It ain't the graphic novel(aka comic book), but the film isn't even finished yet.
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