Cool News
It's Friday the 13th! Isn't some film coming out today with that title? Capone thinks it's more than a coincidence!!
Hey everyone. Capone in Chicago here.
Wow, I must not have been smoking the right crack pipe when I saw this film, because I know so many people who actually liked it, but lord almighty was I bored and disappointed in this reboot of the horror movie franchise featuring the timid woodland creature known as Jason Voorhees. And in keeping with some of my fellow critics, I'll say that I've seen every single FRIDAY THE 13TH movie--most more than once--and while I don't think any of them are true classics, I do recognize some really good work in a couple of them. My heart belongs to Freddy Krueger.
And believe me, I really thought about and rehashed this movie for quite a while trying to uncover why it was so lacking. Was it that in cramming details from the first three FRIDAY THE 13TH movies into one story (not a bad idea in theory), the filmmakers basically skim right over the fun of watching Jason evolve from a freak boy to a killer with a weird mask on his head to the iconic hockey-masked killing machine? Was it that the film lacked any real tension and only one or two genuinely creative kill sequences? (I'll give points to the dude in the bear trap watching the girl in the sleeping bag go up in flames.) Is it the fact that in making a new installment of this film that borrows so heavily from previous Jason movies (both in terms of plot and atmosphere), that its very existence negates its necessity? It's probably big hunks of all of these reasons, but the one truly nagging aspect of the film is that it gives us a hero in Jared Padalecki's character Clay. I'll explain...
I have nothing against Mr. Padalecki (of HOUSE OF WAX remake and "Supernatural" fame). I met him for two seconds at Comic-Con last year, and he seemed like a decent enough bloke, and he's pretty strong in this film as an actor. The problem I have with him is that his character basically destroys the premise of this and many other horror films of this ilk. The reason Freddy and Jason were/are so popular is that the audience is rooting for them, not their victims. We can't wait to see what wild methods they'll use to slaughter those snotty, sex-crazed, drug-taking, generally deviant kids. They were the embodiment of the threat our parents and older siblings made about what happens to little boys and girls who misbehave. And even though we were scared of them, we were also very much looking forward to their next appearance.
To say that there were no heroes in any of the '80s horror films is, of course, not totally true, but it kind of was in the FRIDAY THE 13TH movies, at least the first few, which this film emulates completely. And, in fact, German-born director Marcus (Pathfinder) Nispel and writers Damian Shannon and Mark Swift (both of whom co-wrote the ridiculously fun FREDDY VS. JASON) make most of their victims highly unlikable and partially naked. But Padalecki's character and, to a degree, Danielle (MR. BROOKS, SKY HIGH) Panabaker's Jenna are built up as the heroes of the film, the ones we don't want to die. I don't support this decision; I want them all to die; I don't want to care about a single hair on their head cut off by Jason, let alone an arm or head. When a pointy object pokes out an eye, all I want to do is cheer, "Go Jason!" I don't want to even let cross my mind, "Oh, please don't let Jared get hurt. His hair is too perfect to die!"
I found the whole experience of watching this movie rather annoying. Did this movie actually try to tell me that Jason's real motivation for killing all these people is that they invade his pot-farming operation? You think I'm kidding, but watch the movie. A very strong case could be made for that being the point of this movie--"Jason Voorhees: Vigilante Pot Farmer." Now that's a FRIDAY THE 13TH movie I can get behind. I don't need a horror remake to reinvent the torture wheel or come up with elaborate backstories for its killer (thankfully, this movie avoids that tired device), but at least have a reason for existing. Be tasteless, be offensive, be creative, be wild, just be something. This film is actually worse than pointless, and this is the last time I'm talking about it. I hope it enjoys its unearned time atop the weekend box office chart.
-- Capone
capone@aintitcoolmail.com
-
+ Expand All
-
Infinitely cooler
-
Feb 13, 2009 9:27:34 AM CST
This year March is gunna have a Friday the 13th too!
by genghis von doom
Extra spooky.
-
People are gonna talk.
-
thanks for the SPOILER ALERT!
-
Sounds like the SUPERMAN RETURNS equivalent of the Friday the 13th movies.
-
I think making the killer in a slashermovie a villain again seems to be a smart idea. But of course it depends on how it is executed.
I dislike slasher movies anyway. They are pretty much the lowest form of horror. -
As a lifelong Jason fan, Massawyrm's glowing review made me psyched to see this flick, but what a disappointment it turned out to be. It had no impressive kills, and Jason had no presence at all. Even the "iconic" scene of him putting on the mask for the first time was unimaginative and mundane. By the 80-minute mark, I just wanted it to end. The only thing the movie did is prove Donahue right: The movie made me want to kill people--namely Marcus Nispel.
-
the movie is good, maybe not great. as the other f13th. probably u are one of those liked that piece of shit of halloween remake.
-
sleeping bag-meets-tree beat down of...oh shit- which F13th was that?
the most brutal and funny thing in the entire series. -
Part 7 had the sleeping bag kill, but there was also a shout-out to it in Jason X.
-
I'd kill them too, and I don't even smoke...but I know how much that shit is worth.
-
Just back from seeing this. Fucking crap.
Gingerella of Glasgow agrees 100 percent with Capone of Chicago.
-
could of given themselves some extra post production time
-
I knew this would be crap. They hire people with NO LOVE for the sourcematerial to write these fucking scripts. And it pisses me off.
-
Feb 13, 2009 10:51:58 AM CST
I actually support the inclusion of a protagonist.
by the reluctant austinite
I haven't seen the movie yet, but the trailers got me interested in seeing a protagonist in a "Friday the 13th" film that isn't just a horny, pot smoking teen. I agree that most of the old movies were completely about cheering on Jason's creative kills on annoying characters we can't wait to see hacked appart. However, the Final Chapter included a likeable charcter that was actually hunting Jason, but the movie dropped the ball on doing anything with that. The terrible "Jason Goes to Hell" had one good idea: a serial killer bounty hunter in pursuit of Jason. But this film also failed to make that work. I've always wanted to see Jason have a Van Helsing like Michael Myers had Sam Loomis. I think, at this juncture after 11 films, it's okay to have someone to root for.
-
I'm pretty surprised at the negative reviews... I'm a long time fan of the series and I thought this one was the best since Part 6. Quint, I never got the idea that "Jason was a pothead", the weed stash was there for drug use in the film, more sin to be punished for. A lot of the things in the film that you complain about are actually things fans of the series have come to expect in these films. F13 has always had one protagonist to follow throughout each film, at least in most of them. The hero character in the "remake" is sort of a composite of a few of the hero characters in the old films. Some of the kill moments were as enjoyable as in the middle few films- you know they're coming, you're predicting what's going to happen, and when it does happen, when Jason strikes, they've managed to give me the feel of the old series. I really liked it, the things they did differently in this movie really worked for me. Filmmakers have been fooling around with this character for years, this is just another iteration and I thought a damn good one. One hell of a ride back to Crystal Lake.
-
I believe the first time this happened was in "Prophecy" with Armand Assaante and Talia Shire. the mutant bear thing grabs a camper wrapped up cozy and comfortable in his (or her, don't remember) sleeping bag and proceeds to have some batting practice against an oak tree. The trailers scared the shit out of me as a kid but the present viewing is...well, quite hilarious actually.
-
Apart from two, count 'em two, memorable death scenes, this movie will leave me rather quickly. I would have thought the gore quotient would have been much, much higher giving what Nispel did with TCM (no matter how you look at it, his remake of TCM was pretty damn disgusting).
The true stars of this movie were hands down (or on) the tits. I mourned for them and their imminent cooling.
I hope this does serious box office though, because it seems like they've left it open to truly delve into the supernatural aspects of Jason.
Besides, I want more Horror at the theaters. -
I agree with you. I'm also a fan of the series and I enjoyed the hell out of this movie. It was silly fun. I was expecting the worst and I was very pleasantly surprised!
-
Feb 13, 2009 12:03:01 PM CST
"both of whom co-wrote the ridiculously fun FREDDY VS. JASON"
by choptop
Fucking choke on your own dick. I don't care if I hate this movie or not, I'm going to tell everyone I love it now just so I'm not on the same team as someone that enjoyed Freddy Vs Jason.
-
I hadn't seen all these movies, so didn't realize it happened in one before X.I have to say though, the X version was pretty funny. "Hi, wanna have sex?" Next thing you see he's slamming the bags against the tree repeatedly.
-
As much as I normally respect Capone's writing here (consistently the best on the site, and he is the ONLY one on the site that knows how to interview) I couldn't disagree more. You should be terrified of the villain in a horror film. When you root for the villian (as in the terrible later Freddy movies, or say Hannibal) the movie quickly goes down hill. There is never any tension, or legitimate scares. I don't mind if some of characters are douches and deserve to die, however you should be genuine concerned for the well-being of some of the protagonists, and be terrified of the villain. Plain and simple. Then again, we almost never see a true horror film.
-
And filmed in roughly the same location, this remake felt exactly like that, only not nearly as scary or fun as Nispel's TCM remake (never saw Liebesman's The Beginning). A few moments in the middle were mildly funny, but that's not nearly enough. I didn't expect Sophocles' First Tome On Friday the 13th, but really, if you're going to spend even the amount of money they did here, make something of it. I have to wonder if Nispel just didn't care, which is probably true - work-for-hire director in every sense of the term.
-
Well, that doesn't convince me much. Parts 6 and 8 were the worst of the series. I am a long-time fan who has seen em all and own the DVDs of everything except those 2 and Jason X. Those 3 were all terrible, but Jason X had a few moments of fun.
Big mistake of combining the first movies. As another poster said, the first two were distinctive and it seems dumb of Platinum Dunes to sort of limit their cash flow, since they are limiting their amounts of remake-ability. After Part 4, each movie had to come up with some new direction and that resulted in highly varied quality.
Plus, Nispel is a crap director. -
...Making a total of three in 2009.
Chances are, Hollywood will already have a sequel to this ready to go by then! -
I did, however, fucking hate the complete lack of inventive kills. I've seen all of these before, and without having to pay the price of a movie ticket. Listen, if your movie shows me a goddam wood chipper and fucking skill saw, and the movie involves Jason, then your movie better fucking show me Jason putting some punk-ass through that chipper or using that skill saw. Instead, it's a bunch of weak ass kills that were better when they were first done in Eps. 1-3.
-
They should totally make a Supernatural episode/movie with Jason. It could be the finale with the death of the brothers at the hands of an unstoppable killing machine!
Ooh. Or Freddy. -
What did anyone really expect from this movie? the first 8 films are all pretty much the same..kids go to the lake and get killed by jason and thats pretty much it!! there's not much to differentiate between the first 8 movies..jason x and freddy v jason obviously bucked the trend a bit but both were esentially stalk n slash movies. I don't understand then why some people seem to be dissing the movie over originality etc! what do you fucking expect..Fucking slumdog millionaire!!?? man this movie is another pointless remake for 15 yr olds who can't be arsed to go to blockbuster to rent the originals but it is what it is and nothing they can do after 11 movies can be original anymore so just watch it as part 12 and sit back and try to enjoy it. At least its not a straight remake ala the omen,the fog and all those other shitty horror remakes that came out.
-
There is absolutely nothing wrong with attempting to be better than that which you are remaking. If that means trying to create characters the audience cares about, great! Just don't fault them for *trying*, fault them for failing. Afterall, it's only scary if you care about those in danger.
-
But I agree with the above talk backer, My Bloody Valentine was more fun. Almost every kill in F13th involved the machete... Yeah that's what Mommy used but fuck...it gets old to watch after awhile. I really, really, really don't get Harry's raving made love of it.
-
...the F13 films have been about being "scary". The first two were sort of scary, but from Part 3 on, it became all about rooting for Jason. This new movie IS better than what they were remaking, the amount of thought put into it shows. This movie works, it's a lot of fun and one hell of a ride for the fans. Plus, Capone says at the beginning that he's more of Freddy guy, I'm beginning to see that there's more of a schism there than I ever imagined.
-
As far as the F-13 movies go, it was alright... but my one complaint was how it seemed to want to go into the area of the film being in "reality" and for awhile I wasn't sure I'd like that (I was afraid of something like Zombie's original idea of killing Myers was going to happen).I must say that this was far better than Bloody Valentine, that movie was so-so for the first half hour and then it went nowhere.I'd say the ending kinda clinched it for me as being one of the better Jason movies and I hope they make more (the 13th XIII movie, or would it be 12.5 b/c of Freddy v Jason)
-
ACTUALLY CLAY IS A CLONE OF ROB'S CHARACTER FROM PART 4 BOTH ARE THERE TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THEIR SISTERS, ROB SISTER IS DEAD OF COURSE AND HE KNOWS THAT BUT HE'S AT THE CAMPGROUNDS LOOKING FOR JASON. VERY MUCH THE SAME CHARACTER TYPE. THE TEENS PARTYING IN A CABIN NEAR CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE IS ALSO PART 4. KNOW YOU FRIDAYS CRITICS.... MIXES UP ELEMENTS FROM THE FIRST 3 FILMS. HAHAHAHA, YOU MEAN THE FIRST 4..
-
Why are you guys all on this "Jason was a pot farmer" wagon? The guy he got the mask from was the pot farmer - he even offers Jared Padelecki some of the weed to make sure that even the dumbest audience member would know where the weed came from. Jesus fucking christ, this is the top movie site and at least 3 of the writers can't even follow a goddamn Friday the 13th movie.
-
I didn't realise, thanks for correcting my vision.
-
Feb 13, 2009 10:15:35 PM CST
I disagree about seeing F13th flicks just to root for the killin
by bob cryptonight
I mean, the whole point is the ATTEMPT to get away from the creep...only to be slaughtered in--hopefully--some kind of weird way. But, sorry Capone, ya gotta have some kind of tension from the IDEA that maybe someone will effectively fight back against Jason. Otherwise you might as well buy a Tom Savini "How To Do Gore FX" video and just watch that. Personally, I'd love a movie where Jason really gets his ass kicked and then has to step it up a notch to finally KILL the alleged hero.
-
I enjoyed the movie, I was disapointed they only used Nana Visitor as Mrs Vorhees for only a few fleeting moments on screen, but at the same time because of the way they opened the film, it really isnt so much a remake of part one as it is a remake of the next 3 chapters (parts 2 through4)
that opening scene even takes place in the 1980 the same year part one took place. i agree with the pilgrim about the elements of part 4 that are seen in this new movie as well. I hope the series does well the next few weeks and we get new installments. in fact i hope we see a reintroduction of Tommy Jarvis in a upcomming film.
-
also wouldnt mind them attempting a new one for next year, like the origiaals comming out like one every year to year and a half.
-
Jason is gonna stab yo ass.
-
This film broke the "chekov's gun" rule several times. Chekov's gun states that if you show the audience an item prominently, it must be used later; a rule the original movies adhered to very closely. This movie seemed to intentionally swerve from it. I kept thinking: "Death by Bug Zapper!", "Death by Hockey Stick!" , "Death by Skill Saw!", "Death by Giant Bong!", "Death by Deer Head!" All of these would have been made more interesting kill scenes, but we didn't get any of them. I really wanted to see the bug zapper.
-
the girl really did have stupendous tits.
-
...I think the problem with these horror remakes is that we tend to build-up the source material in our minds until it becomes something it never was in the first place. NONE of the F13 movies were really "good." That's kind of the point. The only real problem I had with this one was the "modern" feel to it. Had they done more of a throwback to the 70-80's style or "look" I would've been happier. Anyway, good thoughful review as always!
-
I've never subscribed to this idea.
-
I think Jason was just growing it to attract the kinds of people that he wants to kill. The motivation was established during the opening credits-- the same motivation he's had for all these years. I think he was just jacking with people =p
-
he's be using the meachet to cut down his trees and the mask as a clipping bowl.
-
42 million first three days, now the highest grossing of any of the fridays.(not counting Freddy vs jason) hope they fast track a sequal and we get part 2 or part 12 or whatever they want to call it next year.
-
Feb 15, 2009 5:56:59 PM CST
Why is it so fucking hard to just put Jason in the environment h
by odinfire
As a total Friday geek, yeah, I know...
Why cant they just make a new fucking Friday the 13th with Jason killing counselors at Crystal Lake while it is open?
Friday the 13th is about going to camp, being alone, getting killed because you are an asshole.
Why is it so fucking hard to just make a move with Jason killing teenagers at Crystal Lake while it is open?
Thats it. Thats the plot. Stick to that and they got a winner. I dont wanna see Crystal Lake torn down and abandoned. Its lame. -
complaining that it had actual protagonists seems a bit weird to me...
-
movie (one of the most dreadful in the pathetic franchise) but one of the worst films ever made. Part 6 was almost a dark comedy but the producers muted the punch lines ("More gore!") in post-production; assholes. The FRIDAYs are the horror genre's equivalent of watching a Whoopi Goldberg film on an airplane (Goldberg's unreleased movies are always unloaded on unwary plane passengers). You instantly forget the movie--or maybe you think something like, "I wish a hostile UFO would put this plane in their cross hairs." That bad, yes.
Readers Talkback
User Login
Top Talkbacks
- Whitney Houston 1963 - 2012 -- 171 total posts 169 posts
- AVENGERS enemy revealed as pink boardgame pieces... You might suffer some form of elation... SPOILERS!!! -- 157 total posts 111 posts
- There's a STAR TREK video game that is going to lead into JJ's STAR TREK 2 apparently... -- 138 total posts 75 posts
- Here's The Red Band Trailer For Drafthouse Films' THE FP! -- 67 total posts 67 posts
- To Commemorate The 3D Release Of STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE, George Lucas Wants You To Know...Greedo Shoots First!! -- 479 total posts 62 posts
- New JUDGE DREDD post production footage pops up -- 59 total posts 59 posts
- Does ‘SNL’ Rhyme With ‘Deschanel’?? Learn Which SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE Vet Hosts After Sexy Zooey!! -- 62 total posts 59 posts
- HANNA's Saoirse Ronan to boss around seven little people -- 48 total posts 45 posts
- Friday Brings SWEEPS DAY NINE!! Gab Here About Tonight’s FRINGE!! Plus Einstein on TIM, Wiig On PORTLANDIA, MAHER, CLONE, GIFTED, GRIMM, SPARTACUS, SUPERNATURAL, GOLD RUSH And More!! -- 116 total posts 32 posts
- SPACE 2099!! -- 181 total posts 30 posts