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Cobra Commander From Sommers' G.I. JOE Movie Revealed, Sorta!!

Merrick here...
What's a G.I. JOE movie without action figures? Toy packaging has revealed an admittedly stylized version of Cobra Commander from G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA. To the best of my knowledge (and correct me if I'm wrong), this is our first visual sense of the character's design in the movie - although this is a mighty toyetic interpretation. And, really, I can't think of any better impression to plant in your head regarding this film than...this...
I was going to say that the 'good news' about this image is that whatever ends up on screen won't look as goofy as these toy pics. Then I remembered the epic fail of VAN HELSING's creature work, so I can't actually offer such reassurance. This image above is appearing on multiple and unrelated sites across the Internet, so apologies in advance for my not being able to identify its point of origin. I believe it may've come from, who've been leaking all the TREK movie toys we've seen over the last couple of days (HERE). Not sure, though. If you click HERE, you can find recent images of G.I. JOE figures which less stylistically represent characters from the new movie.

Readers Talkback
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  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:18 p.m. CST


    by oaser

    this doesn't really help at all, huh?

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:19 p.m. CST

    They're fucking us again!

    by scudd

    Just kidding. Might look much better in person.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:20 p.m. CST

    Looks like a mask. Check out the eyes.

    by StarWarsRedux

    So now Cobra Commander has a third mask. Apparently. Fine with me.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:22 p.m. CST


    by HapaPapa72

    He looks like...I this one of those flicks where the character only looks the way we've always seen at the end?

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:22 p.m. CST

    baroness is all i care about

    by cloudrider`

    dont expect much else from this one.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:23 p.m. CST


    by JaviT

    See how the tubes kinda form the hood of a cobra? kinda reminds me of his battle armor, too. Oh, and even as a kid, I thought his battle armor SUCKED! bring on the blue hood!

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:24 p.m. CST

    Shit, it's the DIC helmet, not the Sunbow one.

    by Shermdawg

    DAMN. DAMN. DAMN. <br><br> They nixed the hood because "it looked too much like clansmen attire", and now they nix the iconic mirrored mask? <br><br> You fucks do realize that Cobra Commander is arguably more popular than Snake Eyes right? <br><br> /endgeekrant

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:24 p.m. CST

    er, make that 5th

    by JaviT

    I liked his other mask, too, the one that was reminiscent of the drones in the Black Hole

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:24 p.m. CST

    Back in the 90's this would have starred SLY and ARNOLD!

    by ABking

    Now that would have been a G.I.JOE MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:25 p.m. CST


    by Gilkuliehe

    One would think they'd use G.I. JOE somewhere in there. And why the fuck am I here?

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:26 p.m. CST

    The 3rd Rock kid better at least pattern his voice after Latta.

    by Shermdawg

    They gotta throw Chris Latta fans a bone after what Bay did with Transformers.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:29 p.m. CST

    Why, Destro...

    by Han Cholo

    Just thinking of the Cobra Commander's voice back in the day gives me nostalgic chills. Hopefully they can re-create the voice faithfully.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:29 p.m. CST

    No hood or metal helmet = flaming nipples on Optimus Prime

    by Outlaw least Destro is confirmed as having his shiny metal head!

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:29 p.m. CST

    this looks like FAIL!!

    by Judge_Dredd

    How lame.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:29 p.m. CST


    by TheDoctor73

    Why... why can't they just adapt the movie the right way. Why can't we have a cobra commander that looks like the cobra commander of old. It's not that hard. Damn it.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:29 p.m. CST

    No Kung Fu Grip = SHIT

    by Darth Macchio

    Don't even talk to me until we get some god damned kung fu grip action in this mothergrabber.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:30 p.m. CST

    Uh, Gilkuliehe

    by rev_skarekroe

    It DOES say G.I. Joe. Right at the top of the package.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:30 p.m. CST

    I just died laughing

    by MattmanReturns

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:30 p.m. CST

    Oh yeah and by the way....

    by Han Cholo

    Isn't Destro supposed to be a nigga with a chrome head? Not once did I see that in the trailer.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:31 p.m. CST

    Are you kidding ME!

    by eric haislar

    Oh good god, thats the best they could come up with.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:33 p.m. CST

    So does destro have the mask in the fim?

    by eric haislar

    Because it's not in the trailer.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:33 p.m. CST

    Pissed Off And Bitter

    by Shermdawg

    It's the comic version of Destro. He's Scottish.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:34 p.m. CST

    Van Helsing

    by Ridcully86

    WTF is with all the Van Helsing bashing? The movie was a great summer popcorn movie. I've seen it labeled as a total crapfest. This year alone I've seen some really crappy movies muchless the year that one came out. Step Brother's was almost unwatchable. Dragon Wars was laughably on par with Bebe's Kids or Warriors of Virtue. Shit, Van Helsing was tons better than Eragon and the Narnia movies or even better than that Shoot Em Up movie that so many people liked. (Christ, that movie had to have been written by a group of 12 yr olds on a Red Bull binge)

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:35 p.m. CST

    Destro's mask will show up later on in the flick.

    by Shermdawg

    He has to have a reason to wear it y'know, and it wouldn't make sense for him to have it on when he's talking with Gen.Hawk now would it?

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:36 p.m. CST


    by Vincent Gecko

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:36 p.m. CST

    What in hell is this?

    by Pompoulus

    Toys used to be TOYS goddamn it. What are these? What are these THINGS?

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:38 p.m. CST

    SPOILER: Real Cobra Commander

    by Vincent Gecko

    It's the kid from 30 Rock. They kept running this promo at New York Comic Con. It said his character had a mysterious past and a history with Duke and it was unclear whether he was a hero or a villain. Totally reeks of when Qui Gon played "Henri Ducard"

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:38 p.m. CST


    by eric haislar

    I hope so, but looking at how close they are keeping to the look at feel of the toy's I have my doubts.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:38 p.m. CST


    by Shermdawg

    They're aimed for the tots obviously. The regular figs are way too small for the rugrats to play with.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:39 p.m. CST

    Why do Ripcord and Heavy Duty look the same??

    by Six Demon Bag

    is that wrong?

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:39 p.m. CST


    by TheJake

    ...ACK! What's so goddamn hard about just putting him in the silver faceplate/helmet costume or simply the hood w/the cobra logo?

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:40 p.m. CST


    by hollywoodsummers

    this movie is being made for 10-14 year old kids. Count me out.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:40 p.m. CST

    I'm actually optimistic about this movie.

    by Knuckleduster

    Mainly because that teaser trailer kicked ass. And it has Snake Eyes.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:40 p.m. CST



  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:40 p.m. CST


    by Shermdawg

    I'll repeat myself without getting into spoiler territory...he needs a reason to wear a mask. He'll have that reason eventually.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:41 p.m. CST


    by eric haislar

    Also look at that packaging. The only difference between Heavy Duty and Ripchord is a mustache. I mean there is nothing there for me to tell who is who. To Summers it seems there all interchangeable characters.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:42 p.m. CST

    "this movie is being made for 10-14 year old kids."

    by rev_skarekroe

    So... it's a movie based on a toy... that's made for kids... Stop the fucking presses!

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:42 p.m. CST

    "is being made for 10-14 year old kids."

    by Shermdawg

    As opposed them targeting it to a much younger age back in the 80's?

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:43 p.m. CST


    by Shermdawg

    Trust me, Mr.Eko and Marlon look nothing alike.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:44 p.m. CST


    by eric haislar

    I do hope your right. It just seems so wrong to me and I am not even a big GI Joe Fan.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:46 p.m. CST


    by Shermdawg

    I am a big Joe fan, and trust me, I'm not happy about a lot of the stuff I've seen thus far. Especially the decision to have EVERYONE wear black leather. Is camo really that unrealistic!?

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:47 p.m. CST

    Oh . . . god . . .

    by BigDude

    This is going to be the worst trainwreck any of us has ever seen. I have a bunch of friends who were involved in this film, and I promise you all, this will be HATED far, far worse than Transformers.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:49 p.m. CST

    That cherubic smiling blonde man is holding

    by Pompoulus

    a tiny M-16, with a TEENY TINY underbarrel grenade launcher. Sometimes I wonder, that's all. I just wonder.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:52 p.m. CST

    by blindambition238

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:52 p.m. CST

    Stupid enter key

    by blindambition238

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:54 p.m. CST

    what big hands you have

    by BigDude

    Duke, why are your hands as big as your torso?

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:54 p.m. CST


    by Gilkuliehe

    When I posted that, only the second picture was up. Thanks for making me look like an idiot, Merrick.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:55 p.m. CST


    by eric haislar

    I totally agree, It just seems cheap in every way, and not even keeping in the spirit of the show or toyline.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:56 p.m. CST


    by eric haislar

    Please tell us your friends stories. They should be a big laugh.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:58 p.m. CST


    by DonnyUnitas

    These are the modern equivalent to Fisher Price people. They're target demographic is 2-5 year olds. The other toys will be released closer to the movie, and will be much more realistic.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 1:58 p.m. CST

    What is that

    by MrPopular

    I'm getting sick of Hollywood. The 2 things i need to see. SHOW ME FREAKIN' COBRA COMMANDER. he should have been at the end of the teaser screamin' Cobra.. that would be a teaser. 2nd show me freakin' Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool. This is the pic on the back of a toy box.. but RR doesn't have wolvie claws.. what gives hollywood

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:03 p.m. CST

    Make no mistake boys, this is total fucking garbage

    by IndustryKiller!

    DON"T go see this film if you are at all a fan of GI Joe or the universe in which it takes place.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:03 p.m. CST posted a headshot of Levitt in costume

    by blindambition238

    along with the plot twist behind the character (spoiler): <p> <p> (spoiler) Apparently, he only starts as a mad scientist working for Destro and responsible for creating the tech and soldiers for Destro's COBRA, then ends up taking it over from him by the end of the film and becomes Cobra Commander. <p> The pic came from the same site that Harry linked to for this post but Hasbro had the image removed. Joblo still has the capture on their site though.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:04 p.m. CST


    by DOGSOUP

    That is all that matters. NOTHING!!!! else matters.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:06 p.m. CST


    by ricarleite

    Not gonna see this film but, HOW CUTE!!!

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:10 p.m. CST

    Don't freak out yet

    by smatt584

    This is "the rise of cobra" right? More than likely this is his initial appearance throughout this film and the big reveal at the end has him in proper form setting up for a sequel. You all know they're setting this up for a franchise like transformers. And like Transformers, even if the movie sucks balls, it will make a shitload of money, get a sequel, and will be defended on this talkback with lines like: "it's a GI Joe movie, what did you expect?" and "Anybody who doesn't like this movie is a fag!". Be prepared, because this outcome is guaranteed.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:10 p.m. CST

    BTW Cobra Commander is Dukes best friend and the Baroness's brot

    by IndustryKiller!

    And also is in the role of Dr. Mindbender throughout a portion of the film. I PURPOSELY didnt put a spoiler warning on that because I want to destroy the good time of any idiot who could possibly find that entertaining, they dont deserve it.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:11 p.m. CST

    Fucking awful

    by photoboy

    It looks like the mask from Jason X.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:13 p.m. CST

    Cobra Commander is Baroness's brother that meant to say

    by IndustryKiller!

    just in case anybody didnt have that ruined for them. leave no stone unturned.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:15 p.m. CST

    IndustryKiller you FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!

    by DOGSOUP

    YOU TOTALLY RUINED MY GOOD TIME!! I SO CARED WHAT HAPPENS IN THIS MOVIE NOW FUCK IT!!!I WON'T EVEN BOTHER SEEING IT NOW NOW THAT I KNOW!!! Heh actually I don't care. I care about Sienna Miller in hot black leather and really that's it. I don't even remember what happened in either Underworld movies either, some shit about vampires and werewolves. or something. Fuck that new one too Underworld: 0% Kate Beckinsale Whatsoever. Don't worry buddy I don't have to PAY to see Sienna Miller make my Cobra Rise.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:16 p.m. CST


    by Playkins

    Well, what do you expect? It's G.I. JOE after all.<P> There, I saved you the trouble of worrying about when it's going to happen. I do not, however think someone is a fag for not liking this movie. Just realize that it is the KIDS that will make this successful, not anyone on here.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:16 p.m. CST

    not enough Serpentor, Pythona, and Cobra-La in this movie.

    by Boomers_Lips

    "Cobra-La la la la la la la!!!!"

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:17 p.m. CST

    These toys...

    by BizarroJerry

    Those are the cartoony kiddie figures of the same type that they've been making superhero versions of for years now. They're just cute little toys. They do and will make typical action figures for this movie, too. The only thing we can criticize here is the Cobra Commander design, not the toys.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:18 p.m. CST

    I warned them...

    by hillvalley

    I warned Spider-man, Jason Voorhees, and Bane not to enter the teleportation chamber at the same time. Now look at what science has done!

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:19 p.m. CST

    Cobra Commander & Dr. Mindbender are the same person.

    by Boomers_Lips

    I wonder how they're gonna explain that.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:21 p.m. CST

    No worries playkins

    by smatt584

    Like I said, it's guaranteed. That would be like worrying about the sun rising. Shit's gonna happen. (and don't fret about the lack of irrational homophobia, it's a given when the time comes)

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:22 p.m. CST

    He better have some sort of reptile dysfunction.

    by chrismata

    I'm disappointed with Hollywood. They get it wrong so many times.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:26 p.m. CST

    IndustryKiller! please post more spoilers

    by ricarleite

    Let's make sure no one pays to see this.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:34 p.m. CST

    I reeeeally hope that they include

    by Fuzzyjefe

    the greatest Cobra operative ever conceived: Trouser Snake the sniper! I almost wet myself when I saw that on Robot Chicken.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:34 p.m. CST

    i thought so


    i thought that 'doctor' picture looked like J G-L....kid has the same haircut in every fucking thing he is in.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:35 p.m. CST

    Or was it Fumbles?

    by Fuzzyjefe

    "It was always Fumbles."

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:37 p.m. CST

    TMNT 25th DVD and BLU RAY

    by eric haislar

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:38 p.m. CST

    Well Destro is sorta revealed too

    by ChezKing

    on the package.......... My expectations for this movie were never high to begin with...considering Sommers is at the helm. I imagine it will be entertaining in a stupid action movie kinda way. But forget it if you think the story is going to be good.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:40 p.m. CST



    Another franchise getting it all wrong.<p><p>Cobra Commander shouldn't have some scary mask. That is just wrong and out of character. He should have EXACTLY what was in the cartoon. A mirror mask face shield. To hide his face. Period. WTF??? Cobras face should NEVER be revealed in a GI Joe movie, not even his eyes. He wears the mask to conceal his identity. He shows up in terrorist network TV broadcast takeovers. For some reasons he doesn't even want his employees/army to know who he is the few times he is seen conversing with them.<p><p>I knew this movie was whack the minute I found out they are going to be showing cobra commander as a young child. What is it with hollywood thinking we want to see the backstories of every character? How do these writer's not realize that its the MYSTERY of these characters that got us interested in the first place? Certain characters backstory should never be revealed. <p>Boba-Fett - did I really need to see him coming out of the bathroom as a young child and hanging out with his dad in their cozy apartment? <p>Darth Vader -could lucas not have kept him interesting by not showed him as a child?? <p>and now Cobra Commander

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:40 p.m. CST


    by Zardozap2005

    IndustryKiller continues to be a colossal douchebag, the other 99% of the kiddies and fanboys who will go see this movie aren't reading this web site. So basically you're only pissing off the locals. Whatever.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:43 p.m. CST

    Um, are spoilers really that big of a dealbreaker?

    by blindambition238

    I'm pretty sure that nobody planning to see this movie are in it for the intricate plot developments. It's not the 6th Sense or Usual Suspects. It'd be like expecting people to change their mind over watching Transformers by telling them that Jazz, Megatron, and that shovel thing die. <p> Or that in Transformers 2 Optimus Prime almost certainly dies fighting that big unwieldy piece of crap: <p> <p> Sure some people probably would prefer to not know (which is why I threw a warning in my post) but you're not really ruining the movie for anyone since spectacle is the main feature here, not story.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:44 p.m. CST

    Took squid from Watchmen and shoved it on his face.

    by IAmJack'sUserID

    LOLbra Commander.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:46 p.m. CST

    HA HA HA


    "Boba-Fett - did I really need to see him coming out of the bathroom as a young child and hanging out with his dad in their cozy apartment? " i never even thought about it, but you are so right. <P>so, how are they going to tackle a realistic flexible metal head with destro?

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:46 p.m. CST

    Oh yea spoiler in that post too ^

    by blindambition238

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:51 p.m. CST

    look at the toy


    it's a clear mask. even the illustration hints at seeing some skin through it. and on the toy it looks like a big red wound behind the mask too. so i imagine something happens and 'the doctor' loses his hair and scars up his face/vocal chords even more, becoming the cobra commander with a raspy voice because he's on life support.<P>now who does that sound like?<P>darth vader, anyone?<P>also, what good does a translucent mask do to cover your damaged face?

  • Mirror mask or hood. Iconic, easily recognizable figure. a bald guy with a tech mask is... just another dude with crap on his face.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:53 p.m. CST

    Well, the lack of a hood is a deal breaker. It's the only conti

    by dr sauch

    I've supported this form the start, the trailer looked awesome. This is a fucking travesty. Cobra Commander has to have a fucking hood, or else no deal. This film is officially fucked.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:56 p.m. CST


    by Lucasblows

    That blows.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 2:56 p.m. CST

    Its Jason!!!!

    by topfivevideo

    CC Face looks like fuckin Jason from Jason X or as I like to say... Jason Goes to Space Camp.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 3:01 p.m. CST


    by the1980mutant

    I would like to be retarded now.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 3:02 p.m. CST

    Ant-Man from the silver age called

    by Deus X Meshuga

    He wants his mask back.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 3:05 p.m. CST

    Fucking Booo!!! Faux Joe!!!

    by nerosday

    I call shit-fest!!! They didn't even get Snake-Eyes mask right. Jesus what was so fucking hard with about a black balaclava and goggles? Nope lets do foam rubber with a face on it! Jesus Sommers. I get angry when I see people say, "But you haven't seen it yet. How can you say its shit?" I can say because it has no respect for the source material. And every image and poster just keeps showing how truly far they strayed with this thing. That is what is making it seem shitty and why I’m not going to see it.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 3:06 p.m. CST

    Who gives a fuck?

    by Slippy

    When the Fallen' giant moosecock will be fucking our eyeballs out in 2009!!!

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 3:07 p.m. CST

    in a fight


    all you have to do is go up to cobra commander and yank his breathing tubes loose. major weakness. <P>same can be said if you get in a fight with a pierced dude.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 3:15 p.m. CST

    The reason for the lack of a cloth hood

    by nerosday

    The studio felt the hood would remind movie goers too much of the Ku Klux Klan I shit you not they said this. Hey, I don't know about you but I think those guys are the worst kind of fucks God ever wasted skin on, so why NOT have CC be reminiscent of them. Then again it may also mean the dumb shit who costumed this movie was too stupid to realize the hood wasn't supposed to have a point on top and there is the whole fact it was fucking blue, oh wait I mean black! The only fucking color they put on anyone’s uniform except fucking Storm Shadow. Jesus.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 3:15 p.m. CST

    good story? it's GI Joe. a toy commercial.

    by antonphd

    the tv show was a half hour commercial, the movie will be a 2 hour commercial. for kids. not adults. if you have a bit of kid in you, you can enjoy it too. the tv show stories were made for children. the movie story will be made for children. because it's about toys. got that. toys. GI Joe is not Alice in Wonderland for god's sake.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 3:21 p.m. CST

    What the FUCK is that

    by D.Vader

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 3:24 p.m. CST


    by alice 13


  • Feb. 12, 2009, 3:29 p.m. CST

    You guys realize this line of toys has been out for years?

    by D.Vader

    Right? They have this "kiddified" line of toys for Star Wars, Marvel superheroes, and Transformers.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 3:30 p.m. CST

    antonphd, you are correct sir

    by dr sauch

    I agree that there is no story whatsoever, and nothing requiring "continuity". However, it is a major disappointment that CC has no hood. That was such a silly, memorable feature of this silly, memorable show. Changing it sort of defeats the purpose of this silly movie.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 3:33 p.m. CST

    So duke is not an American

    by bigdrawz

    Whats the deal with Conrade "duke" Hauser

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 3:33 p.m. CST


    by VALENTINEproductions


  • Feb. 12, 2009, 3:38 p.m. CST

    You're right blindambition

    by IndustryKiller!

    Anyone dumb enough to WANT to see action directed that poorly probably doesn't give a shit about story....or anything really. They could probably get as much entertainment out of a shiny rock.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 3:43 p.m. CST

    The G.I JOE fans of AICN have spoken.

    by IAmMrMonkey!

    Although I suppose "have typed" would be the correct term to use.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 3:52 p.m. CST

    The Van Helsing creature work

    by NinjaRap

    Best thing about the movie. They looked perfect. But hey, I guess once you hate a movie, you have to decide that everything about it is shit, right? What's next, you gonna complain that Jackman's stubble was shitty?

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 3:57 p.m. CST

    Even as a baby toy the Baroness is hot!

    by jarjarmessiah

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4 p.m. CST

    Van Helsing Creature work "good"?!

    by D.Vader

    Those vampire harpies were fucking ugly, and not in the "they're supposed to be ugly and scary," way. I mean, those designs were horrid and executed very poorly.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:02 p.m. CST


    by lovecraftian

    There's one more childhood hope of enjoying a cool live action version of something that was near and dear to my heart dashed to pieces. It's official. This will suck. I guess I'll just have to wait unitl they ruin something like ROBOTECH or VOLTRON. Maybe GATCHAMAN will be okay.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:06 p.m. CST

    That looks...shitacular!

    by Jobacca

    Seriously...who wrote this screenplay? Orko and Col. Kurtzman? Or are all these terrible choices the directors? Either way,this film will be sure to suck on every level-the hardcore Joe fans will hate it and the general public wont give a damn. Of course it will still make 800 billion dollars and lead to even worse sequels-i.e. Transformers 2 Rise of the Electric Pissing Ghetto Robots!

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:08 p.m. CST

    Here's a better look at Cobra Commander:

    by slone13

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:13 p.m. CST


    by turketron

    HAHAHAAAAAAAHAHAAHAAH!!!!!, this is the most fail piece of shit I've ever LMFAO ahahaha!!1, I can't stop laughing at this dogshit, they can't be serious!!?!? LAWL

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:23 p.m. CST

    It really DOES look like the DIC Cobra Commander

    by Raymar

    So at least they still borrowed from canon. I had that figure so I'm a little biased. Next film he can have a different helmet.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:25 p.m. CST

    WTF IS THAT??? this is getting worse and worse.

    by FleshMachine

    cobra commander was a regular dood in a cool helmet or hood...not snake or whatever the hell darth vader thing that is.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:26 p.m. CST


    by FleshMachine


  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:27 p.m. CST

    OH For the LOVE of all that is Holy!!!!

    by Arcangel2020

    What the F@#%K!?! Why is IT that there has been this horrific "glut" if you will of Photos and links to Toys associated with the upcoming Summer Movie releases?!?! And really, really , REALLY bad links/Info at that!! Do we the AICN's fans really CARE about the toys or that they supposedly reveal somethings so amazing and "Holy stop the presses Batman" astounding concerning GI Joe or Transformers or Terminator? They are freakin' toys for god's sake! Enough is enough is ENOUGH! When you have something worthwhile? Say...or I dunno...scenes from the actual movies, trailers we have yet to see, news/info that is considered interesting and worthwhile for the fans? Then YES post it by all means!! That IS what Aint it cools news is supposed to BE about...Not, Aint It Lame Toy News Ok! I am done venting here now!!!

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:28 p.m. CST

    Fine. No hood...

    by sapno_krei

    ...but why not the helmet with the glass facemask? Come on! That's pretty iconic.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:28 p.m. CST

    basing this on the cartoon and not the MARVEL COMIC

    by FleshMachine

    is a fatal mistake.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:29 p.m. CST

    Van Helsing had shit GGI...

    by AnakinsDiapers

    ...It's true. The werewolf and vampires looked rubbery. It was just cartoonishly surreal. Remember Blade 2? remember the very end of the first fight between Blade and the neesa? That 4 seconds of rubbery CGI people fighting in front of a spotlight? That was 90% of Van Helsing right there....and the movie was boring as hell in spite of the action.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:29 p.m. CST

    (and this aint either !?!?!)

    by FleshMachine


  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:36 p.m. CST

    Personally I want a Van Helsing Sequal

    by snomusic

    Forget all the hate - I liked it - especially the soundtrack

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:36 p.m. CST


    by SkidMarkedUndies

    Damn you Steve Sommers!

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:43 p.m. CST

    also looks like


    mr. freeze but with a face piece instead of a full helmet...

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:44 p.m. CST

    The GI Joe as a UN team still bugs the shit out of me

    by Continentalop

    The fuckin' term Joe is a term for an American soldier (hence in war movies prostitutes saying, "You want good time, Joe?"). The term GI was thought to mean "governement issue" (it actually referred to galvanized iron) and was used to apply to a soldier’s equipment and then the soldiers themselves. So GI Joe means “American Infantry Soldier.” <p> Why the fuck would a UN team take a term for American soldiers as its codename? That would make as much sense as giving them the code name GI Tommy or GI Jerry.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:44 p.m. CST


    by TakeItEasyMon

    Every goddamn take on a property wants to reinvent the fucking wheel. Just leave it alone for chrissake. Iconic character designs that worked fine before don't need to be 'updated.' It's not Darth Vader, it's Cobra Commander. We don't need to see his face, that's the fucking -point-.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:46 p.m. CST

    Screw this, Ima go watch the cartoon movie from the 80s.

    by TakeItEasyMon

    Cobra-La and Serpentor were 100x better than this garbage. Nemesis Enforcer!

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:48 p.m. CST

    right here:

    by TakeItEasyMon

    http:// /watch?v=CZdgIA7E1xU

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:48 p.m. CST

    This is what is under the Mask

    by DarthRazor

    I've got to believe that this is what he looks like under the mask (whether that be a hood or the mirror). This is like like Vader or Jason unmasked. I say this cause the camo costume Duke figure in the package is different than what we've seen on the posters and in the trailer so hopefully there is a progression in costumes. Starting with this and moving to a classic look. I have to beleive this is what's under the hood...right?? And he'll be in the hood by the end of the movie. Right guys....Please...

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:49 p.m. CST

    Will you all shut the fuck up please

    by slone13

    Give it a rest and grow up. You DO realize that they're not making the movie for YOU, right? They're making it for 10 year old kids.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:51 p.m. CST

    by codymr

    Too funny!

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:55 p.m. CST

    stone13, that is the mistake

    by Continentalop

    How many kids know who the hell G.I. Joe is? Very few I bet you. But ask a certain generation that grew up in the 80s and they can tell you who the fuck G.I. Joe is. The loved the toys, the cartoon and the comic. <p> And that is the studios big mistake. Make an adult G.I. Joe film. The old fans would love to see G.I. Joe taken seriously (like they did Batman in the Dark Knight). They would love to see this army task force they loved as a kid be depicted as a realistic Special Forces team now that they can appreciate it as adults. The stuff they never saw in the comics: killing, deaths, people getting wounded. That is the G.I. Joe that they should have made.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:56 p.m. CST


    by Reilly

    by the sound of it, they are 10 year old kids

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 4:58 p.m. CST


    by Chuck_Cobra

    That's why the baroness looks the way she does.....for 10 year old kids...

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 5:05 p.m. CST

    Making movies for kids...


    anyone in film who makes movies "for kids", is a hack. bottom line.<p><p> Pixar makes movies for EVERYONE. And thats what these guys should be doing.<p><p> Continentalop is exactly right. The fan base here is coming from the parents and it should be entertaining and complimentary to the original toys / cartoons while at the same time with a rating that these parents can take their kids to it.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 5:07 p.m. CST



    Its not going to be NEARLY as successful as Transformers.<p><p> Why? FOR THE VERY REASON. That everyone knows the story will suck. And there are no giant alien robots. Sorry guys, this movie is going to be a stinker both ARTISTICALLY AND FINANCIALLY. And you deserev it for not trying to atleast give it a good story that respected it's source material.<p> I knew Transformers would make above and beyond its money back but would be a shit movie. I was right. And this is my prediction for GI Joe. Crap movie, crap box-office.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 5:12 p.m. CST


    by Dingbatty

    That's why Joe fans are anticipating the G.I. Joe: Resolute toon more than the live-actioner, judging by the message boards.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 5:13 p.m. CST

    G.I. Joe Resolute bootleg footage:

    by Dingbatty

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 5:20 p.m. CST



    id love to see them do that with transformers

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 5:22 p.m. CST

    First flames on Optimus now this!

    by Orionsangels

    Why keep it the same ya know, as fans who grew up with the show remember Cobra Commander looking, no that wouldn't make sense right? WTF! I hate it! He looks like black mantis or something.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 5:25 p.m. CST


    by 11ZOMBIES

    ...that the first look at Cobra Commander we get is from these particular toys. I'm glad to see helmeted Destro represented, without the helmet he's not as cool, even if he is Christopher Eccleston. I'm still sort of shocked there's even gonna be a GI Joe live action film at all, regardless of the popularity of Transformers.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 5:27 p.m. CST

    Also, @ BRUTICUS

    by 11ZOMBIES

    Hasbro hasn't ruled that out, we may yet get a more "adult" cartoon based on Transformers. Hasbro said that if "Resolute" does well, a TF version may be in the cards.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 5:32 p.m. CST

    You're deluded if you think this is going to flop...

    by blindambition238

    It's a slick looking (and heavily marketable) sci-fi/ action movie aimed at the wide demographic Sommers has always been shooting for and hitting with all his other movies, all of which were massively profitable...

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 5:46 p.m. CST

    This Movie Is Going To Be Such A Piece Of Shit

    by LaserPants

    And its gonna make millions. At least for that week before the next piece of crap gets rolled out. Probably something based on a toy commerical from the 80s. Great.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 5:51 p.m. CST

    man that really sucks. the mask was so cool.

    by BMacSmith

    why did they fuck with it? it was iconic.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 6:10 p.m. CST

    That's not Cobra-fuuucccckkk-Commander!

    by Stalkeye

    At this point Micheal Bay is laughing at Sommers.This is not good for GIJ fans.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 6:14 p.m. CST

    It's nice to see you are advertising for Cinemax soft-core porn

    by beefywhore

    Because I friggin love that's classy.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 6:20 p.m. CST

    This movie is going to rule

    by IndyCollector

    Eat it, haters. EAT. IT.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 6:25 p.m. CST

    Tomax Xamot

    by ballsmcretard

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 6:29 p.m. CST

    Mindbender = Cobra Commander = Baroness' Brother???

    by YackBacker

    Tell me there's at least an incest subplot here.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 6:34 p.m. CST

    I dunno how you get something this wrong...

    by J.B.M.A.

    Whether by design or accident, the 80's G.I.Joe artists came up with more than a few quite brilliant costume and character concepts. A good director should be falling over himself to put such things in his movie - it's less hard work for everybody and it means you'll sell humungous amounts of action figures.<p>What will these kids collect?<p>"I got the one in black!"<p>"Me too!"<p>"And me!"

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 6:34 p.m. CST

    they took the idea for GI Joe cartoon from Nick Fury comics anyw

    by Groothewarrior

    Hasbro wanted Shield-ish look and style for the Joes and Hydra-ish look for Cobra...doesnt Destro remind you of Baron Strucker, or Baroness of Viper...Cobra Commander of Baron Zemo?

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 6:35 p.m. CST

    by Groothewarrior

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 6:40 p.m. CST

    if you watch the intro for the animated GI Joe movie,

    by Groothewarrior

    Cobra attacks the Statue of Liberty in a fucking helicarrier identical to Fury's HQ!!!

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 6:48 p.m. CST

    um. why not just have the shiny face shield?

    by Cotton McKnight

    I am no GI Joe expert but I do remember what he looked like. He had this silver face shield with a helmet. This guy looks like Darth Vader mid-operation.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 6:55 p.m. CST

    Actually Groothewarrior

    by Continentalop

    Larry Hama had presented an idea to Marvel called "Fury Force" (or "The New Howling Commandos") about a team of SHIELD special forces operators lead by Fury's illegitimate son who take on Hydra around the world. <p> When Hasbro approached Marvel about teaming up for a G.I. Joe comic, Larry Hama dusted off his idea and presented it to Hasbro. Cobra Commander was kind of like a new Supreme Hydra. <p> Think - Snake-eyes could have been in Marvel continuity teaming up with Captain America and Wolverine.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 7:04 p.m. CST

    Did G.I. Joe make Reviewer's Cobra Rise???

    by Larry Sellers

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 7:05 p.m. CST

    Does anyone really have any hope of this

    by Series7

    Being worth a damn? Really?

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 7:42 p.m. CST

    Is TOYETIC a real word?

    by TheThinker

    ...just wondering...

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 7:43 p.m. CST

    maybe TOY-LIKE is a better phrase...

    by TheThinker

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 7:44 p.m. CST

    It's like Bossk, Zuckuss, and Walrus Man all in one!

    by kevred

    Destro's smirk says, "At least they didn't screw me up that bad!"

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 7:44 p.m. CST

    ...or TOYISH even

    by TheThinker

    ...jus sayin

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 7:48 p.m. CST

    but, if you're gonna make up words...TOYERRIFIC!

    by TheThinker

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 7:56 p.m. CST

    Porkchop Sandwhiches!!!

    by Orionsangels

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 8:06 p.m. CST


    by cyberskunk

    I almost never watched Freakazoid, but I seem to remember someone saying Toyetic in part of an episode I did watch. It was to describe how easily a property would lend itself to a line of toys, I think.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 8:15 p.m. CST


    by NubtheSquirrel

    I am accepting of the look. I will be curious to see how he looks non cartoony. Could be a cool look. I am a hardcore G.I.Joe nut and I question the decisions with this movie but I'm going in expecting something fun. If I have fun with it, I will be satisfied.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 8:22 p.m. CST

    Nice attitude NubtheSquirrel...

    by 11ZOMBIES

    ...that was my opinion going in to Tranformers...

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 8:23 p.m. CST

    that "Resolute" footage was pretty kick ass

    by vaudeville villain

    guess i'll have to settle for that, because nothing i've seen thus far surrounding this project has given me hope for anything other than fail. i mean, really... how do you go from an iconic hood (or helmet/shield combo) to Jason X in Spidey's shirt with a dinner jacket? so fucking weak.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 8:30 p.m. CST

    and what the fuck is up with the Baroness wearing those

    by vaudeville villain

    Bret "the Hitman" Hart shades? get that bitch some black rimmed specs and call it a day.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 9:06 p.m. CST

    Can't wait for the porn spoof of this one:

    by kirttrik

    Rise of the Cobra. That's almost as good as WATCHMEN.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 9:08 p.m. CST


    by Gus Van Rant

    Why is my childhood raped repetedly? First TINO, then TINO2, and now GI "FUCKIN" JINO!!!!

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 9:15 p.m. CST

    by MikeTheSpike

    "Epic fail"? Even for Merrick, that's lame.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 9:26 p.m. CST

    All I want is ONE Fenslerfilm reference in this move.

    by Clavius

    Then I can die happy.<br> <br>PORKCHOP SANDWICHES!<br> <br>Who wants a body massage?<br? <br>Don't look at me when I'm fucking talking to you!<br> <br>Jamaican man farts, me nearly dead wit laugh I watchin' people rush te door like a rush hour So come! Fun time de yah, time fe deh bus ride-ah Sunshine de yah, a-time fe deh bus ride-ah Sunshine de yah, a-time fe deh bus ride-ah Fun time de yah, a-time fe deh bus ride-oh!<br> <br>If they can work that last one in somehow, it will be undeniable proof of the existence of God.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 9:30 p.m. CST


    by BicNowler

    I've been looking forward to somebody creating this flick since '86 and now feel as if I've been touched in my no-no spot by some creepy uncle.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 9:31 p.m. CST

    It's funny they thought Snake Eyes was the best character

    by IndustryKiller!

    When it was easily, as ANY true Joe fan will tell you, Cobra Commander. That character was hilarious, awesome, and bad ass all at the same time and part of what makes it great is the mystery of him. it does not need a background and if you HAD to write one it doesn't get any worse than this. A mainstream audience does not need a hackneyed background. They need flashing lights and popcorn to shove in their stupid faces. Other than that you have carte blanche with their tiny brains. Jesus, its like clone Boba Fett all over again.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 9:49 p.m. CST


    by Mullah Omar

    ... = Flames on Optimus, or whatever else counts as the interpretative desecration du jour.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 9:59 p.m. CST


    by CloneWars

    Can you say...

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 10:01 p.m. CST

    Seriously this movie peaked with Snake Eyes

    by CloneWars

    Every single pic of look has flaming shit pie written all over it... Except Sienna of course

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 10:38 p.m. CST

    fucking old news

    by ironic_name

    the images of cobra g levitt were been leaked 2 weeks ago. <P> this is just a figure and you're acting like its news.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 10:43 p.m. CST

    so, you're wrong merrick. corrected.

    by ironic_name <P> as boomers lips said, dr and cc are the same.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 11:11 p.m. CST

    your childhood deserved it.

    by ironic_name

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 11:14 p.m. CST

    and yes, deadpool does have claws

    by ironic_name

    see how that pic says deadpool? and he has claws? <P> that means precious lil deadpool has claws. idiots.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 11:18 p.m. CST


    by ironic_name

    those tourist fatties are lol worthy.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 11:22 p.m. CST

    My Ass

    by HyphenatedWords

    Fucking stings. You know when jizz hits a wound and it stings? This happens when, like I've said before, a huge fucking Hollycock rams it up your childhood. Sorry can't use the word "hood" because it evokes the Klan.<br> <br> What they don't understand is that the Commander is SUPPOSED to evoke the Klan. He is supposed to be Hitler, Mussolini, and Pol Pot all wrapped up into one. He's a vile, ruthless man "without scruples." Read the file card. The most dangerous man alive!<br> <br> Which leads me to my old gripe about his portrayal in the cartoon. Sure it's nostalgic as heck, but I always HATED his voice and the character in the cartoon deep down inside. It was nothing like the character imagined in the comic book, but hey... they also were shooting bright, seemingly harmless lasers from their M-16s and AK-47s.<br> <br> Was he the best commander? No. He was crazy. That's why Serpentor was created out of "the most brilliant strategic minds" of the past. A cool idea that ended up falling flat.<br> <br> I don't know... Just why are all of the figures in more traditional attire? God I don't want to spend money on this if it sucks, but knowing is the whole battle when it comes to film. Word of mouth and reviews give an outside opinion, but ultimately I'll need to see for myself. pleaseohplease don't suck.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 11:23 p.m. CST

    Sommers remaking Vader's helmet cuz it reminds him of nazis!

    by BMacSmith

    seriously, what a pussy. oh no! Cobra Commander looks too much like a klansman(it doesn't). thank go this douche wasn't around when they bas Vader's hlmet on ss troops.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 11:33 p.m. CST

    by BMacSmith

    seriously, what a pussy. oh no! Cobra Commander looks too much like a klansman(it doesn't). thank god this douche wasn't around when they based Vader's helmet on ss troops.

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 11:39 p.m. CST


    by rodneyfaile

    I understand some changes must be made. But why change the most iconinc parts? Why add flames to Optimus Prime and remove Cobra Commander's face shield? Whats next? Thundercats movie where the Eye of Thundera is a beeper?

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 11:48 p.m. CST

    Looks like an acceptable Cobra Commander to me

    by bravogolfhotel

    He's got some kind of Del Toro breathing mask instead of a placemat with eyeholes. Sure, why not? What bewilders me is that this appears to be a G.I. JOE movie without ANY of my boyhood favorites. Whither Flint? Whither Roadblock? Whither Airtight? Whither Alpine? Whither Shipwreck?

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 12:09 a.m. CST

    Cobra Commander is a Reptile Man.

    by mistergreen

    According to the GI JOE cartoon movie.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 12:11 a.m. CST

    How about making Cobra look the way he did in the cartoon

    by Arghh

    I know this is a stylized version but still I don't understand why they had to redesign cobra, when millions of people remember and like him the way he was in the cartoon.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 12:25 a.m. CST

    GI Joe wasn't as big as Transformers and

    by most excellent ninja

    didn't have the same cultural impact, there's the difference. More people know who optimus prime is than say Snake Eyes, and this was way before the Bayhem movie came out.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 12:32 a.m. CST

    And why the fuck does Zartan look like Frank Langella??

    by IndustryKiller!

    Is he even going to be Australian? My God, John Lennon dies at 40, Stephen Summers? Still directing 100+ million dollar movies....

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 1:11 a.m. CST

    Duke look like the son of Cap'n Crunch

    by Heckles

    I'm sure the movie will be better. Those toys look gay.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 1:35 a.m. CST

    Cobra Commander = Gay Darth Vader ?

    by GornPirate

    Damn. I really loved GI Joe as a kid but this one should have been easy to keep close to the original. This film is not giving me good vibes at all. I don't mind cheesy popcorn flicks. I liked Bayformers. But this film is just is not sitting well with me at all the more I see of it.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 2:38 a.m. CST

    Not only should Cobra Commander's hood

    by Dingbatty

    remind you of the Klan, but it should also bring to mind images of a COBRA, which has a body feature known as a HOOD. Get that, Sommers? A cobra's hood. Cobra. Hood. Cobra? KKK? Bad guys? Hello? McFly?

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 2:41 a.m. CST

    most excellent ninja

    by Dingbatty

    I'm not so sure about that. I was the target age for the Hama Joe when it first debuted. My girlfriend is a Gen Y'er, and she knows what Cobra Commander looks like, even if she is clueless about G.I. Joe.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 2:43 a.m. CST

    On the Joe fan forums, they call these

    by Dingbatty

    versions of the characters "peg warmers," as the toys fashioned after them will be keeping the pegs warm at the toy store.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 3:25 a.m. CST

    Sommers could fuck up a wet dream.

    by BMacSmith

    how do you fuck up a movie based on an 80s toy line? sounds impossible, but you did it. change the one iconic image in the whole damn toon.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 3:53 a.m. CST

    Cobra Commander's mask

    by Continentalop

    It looks to much like a Klan hood? I always thought it looked like the Zodiac Killer's mask.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 3:54 a.m. CST

    How the fuck did this guy get another job after VAN HELSING?

    by Motoko Kusanagi


  • Feb. 13, 2009, 4:20 a.m. CST

    unvamp the revamp

    by a rolling stone

    I'm with the hood-tribe. It's not tiger-striped yellow spandex. It's a hood. A hood. They can't make a hood look cool? Or is this a room full of guys who never got into the GI JOE genre making all the decisions? "Instead of various military uniforms, let's go all black, but we'll take the black face-paint off Zartan, we'll hold off on Destro's silver mask, and Cobra Commander's hood...screw it, we'll make it out of plastic." If Snake Eyes says one word in this film, I will walk out screaming.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 4:22 a.m. CST

    centurions the movie! 3 men with mo's livin together!

    by ironic_name

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 5:21 a.m. CST

    Van Hesling was great.

    by scottishnutjob

    How's the film career going Harry, any better than Sommers? Thought not. Leave it to the pros eh?

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 5:22 a.m. CST

    What's so sacred about this property?

    by Davidia

    It's fucking GI Joe, it's lucking it's even getting a movie.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 5:25 a.m. CST

    I actually hate that they went with

    by Dingbatty

    the second version of Snake Eyes with the visor. The character's name is Snake EyeS, plural, not Snake Eye, or One-Eyed Snake. The original goggle version made him look like a commando. The people who prefer the goofy looking second version are the younger kids who didn't get the first wave of figures when they were sold.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 5:33 a.m. CST


    by Dingbatty

    Aintitcool is the place for bitching about minutia. Get with the program.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 7:19 a.m. CST

    Okay, I'll play along...

    by Davidia

    I may be a smidgen late, but did any of you guys catch The Empire SUCKS Back at the multiplex? I couldn't believe mine eyes! They totally had to throw a black dude in there so George could be all like "I'm not racist". I forget his name, I think it was General Duke or something lame like that. That bounty hunter too, Bulbos whatever, what a useless minor character. Why not just write in cardboard cut-outs, George? He had like TWO FUCKING LINES! Also, making Vader Luke's fucking FATHER! What a cop-out! Useless character arch that adds NOTHING to the plot! Just a useless twist for the sake of it. George Lucas has officially RAPED my prior experiences with his films hardcore. What's next? A fucking plunky jamaican side-kick and koala bears with tribal outfits? Talk about a hack.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 8:09 a.m. CST


    by BizarroJerry

    It deserves as much "sacred" treatment as any other geeky cartoon/comic book property. G.I. Joe is as important to many people's childhood as Batman or Superman is to many others on here. Don't really see much of a difference here.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 8:16 a.m. CST

    Okay I'll concede...

    by Davidia

    I guess my bias of never being into it led to that comment. But it's obvious Joe doesn't have the mass appeal of Spidey or Bats, hence it should be no surprise this isn't getting the same royal treatment. I'm gonna go see it, but Joe to me was always just a buncha action figures and a cartoon I'd never watch.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 8:36 a.m. CST

    When you rip off the Star Wars prequals you know your in trouble

    by Smashing

    This dude was in Attack of the Clones towards the end in the catacombs with Dooku, epic fail.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 8:54 a.m. CST

    bullshit bullshit bullshit

    by Stugart

    I'll take the flames on Optimus over this crap any day of the week. Cobra Commander looks like a fucking retarded scuba diving reject. Just give him the fucking blue cloth mask and call it a day. Why go through the trouble of making snake eyes look fairly close to what we remember, and then just go way off the deep end with the rest. To be fair though, storm shadow might actually look worse based on what we've seen.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 9:39 a.m. CST


    by lynxpro

    Let me get this straight...Cobra Commander starts out as a villain called "The Doctor" in the same film that Christopher Eccleston stars in? Are they trying to be ironic? When I read there was such a character with that name in the film, I thought it might be Dr. Mindbender but I guess that was not meant to be.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 10:08 a.m. CST

    This is what happens

    by El Gooche

    when stupid fucking studios pick directors who are NOT fans of the source material or have no fucking clue what they are working on! Sommers has access to an unlimited amount of material the he can research, and he goes off and does this shit? How about picking up a fucking comic book or watch an episode of the cartoon and get your inspiration from that you fucking hack! I don't know why but for some reason this is pissing me off more than the mistakes in TINO. Maybe it's because G.I. Joe was part of the reason I joined the Marine Corps. Gung-ho was the shit! I'm so pissed off right now I think I'll go and give some of my students detention for no reason! They are the ones that are going to watch this crap and allow it to make the money it will. The same idiots that go and watch crap like Step Up and Never Back Down, etc.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 10:40 a.m. CST

    What was the name .....

    by jarjarmessiah

    ..of the cobra guy that had a pet alligator?

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 10:42 a.m. CST

    I have very low expectations for this.....

    by jarjarmessiah

    Sommers has made only two good movies: The first Mummy and the Live action Jungle Book. He's one of those directors that lost his creativity as soon as he got a budget to use SFX as a crutch. (Lucas).

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 11:29 a.m. CST


    by Le Chevalier Noir

    B-DDD Well... at least the Baroness looks like someone that all the little girls whose biggest problem in life is mirror-related could look up to (if they steered their face away from that pop bimbo shit for a minute).

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 11:49 a.m. CST

    How are Sienna Miller's Tits so big in this?

    by most excellent ninja

    I don't remember her having such big tits.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 12:08 p.m. CST


    by jsm1978

    That's Duke's name, Conrad Hauser. Hence "Conrad 'Duke' Hauser".

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 12:09 p.m. CST


    by jsm1978

    I can understand the use of identical looking uniforms. I mean, it IS a military group. However... it would be nice if there was at least SOMETHING to visually differentiate the characters from each other. Once you get a group of people in motion, wearing identical looking outfits, it's going to be difficult to tell who is who.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 1:07 p.m. CST

    Who the hell decided to combine Playmobil

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    with my GI Joe. Jerks.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 1:16 p.m. CST


    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    I'm pretty sure he was just called Croc Master.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 2:44 p.m. CST

    So Jason X is in this?

    by alienindisguise

    That is fucking terrible!!!!But too bad the studio pussies thought the hood had overtones of the KKK or elese we'd be getting a proper Cobra Commander. Fuck all involved in ruining this move.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 3:53 p.m. CST



  • Feb. 13, 2009, 4:38 p.m. CST

    Beyond good, Beyond evil

    by Get_Me_An_18-Man_Fire_Team_In_12_Hours

    Beyond your childhood taking it right in the ass. AND FIRST!

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 4:45 p.m. CST

    Yes, the threads are now one clusterfuck

    by Get_Me_An_18-Man_Fire_Team_In_12_Hours

    You're welcome.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 10:40 p.m. CST


    by Bob Cryptonight

    And their cool "walking" moon vehicle and that nifty multi-level moonbase!!!! And jet packs and rocket sleds!!!!! MAKE THAT HOLLYWOOD!!!!! Sorry.

  • Feb. 13, 2009, 11:35 p.m. CST


    by Orionsangels


  • Feb. 18, 2009, 5:04 p.m. CST

    Pics of Park as Snake Eyes on set:

    by Dingbatty <p> <p> <p> Yikes!

  • April 1, 2009, 4:14 p.m. CST

    The console game for the movie looks

    by Dingbatty

    silly, and poorly done, as well:

  • April 2, 2009, 1:02 p.m. CST

    Back again eh?

    by orcus

  • Feb. 12, 2010, 7:13 a.m. CST


    by orcus