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StathamTongue + Jumper Cable = The CRANK: HIGH VOLTAGE Poster!!
Merrick here...
This should've been posted yesterday...it wasn't...but here it is...so...there.
Here's the final poster from CRANK: HIGH VOLTAGE. Note that it is not longer CRANK 2: HIGH VOLTAGE.
Looking forward to this. The first one were deliriously idiotic, OTT nonsense that I had a complete blast with. I can't wait to see what's in store for us this time. Any movie which features a hero shoving a shotgun up a bad guy's ass (seen in the not officially sanctioned, soon-to-be-banished embed below) is aces as far as I'm concerned.
Here's the poster (CLICK TO EMBIGGEN)
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+ Expand All
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Have they censored out the other crocodile clip that was attached to his nipple in the trailer? It just looks like he's randomly flashing his moob now.
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Check them out at www.filmdrunk.com There are some RIDICULOUS ones. I'm pumped.
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oh wait, I'm wrong
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I like the poster for part one, that had 'Crank' written with the veins of his arm, more.
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but I guess I have my answer.
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As did the sweet sideburns
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Haha, what a ridiculously awesome tag. It sounds like the tag they would on one of the posters in the game Left 4 Dead. Just so ridiculous it couldn't be anything but a parody. What a ridiculous franchise. I respect it because it knows what it is. Unlike Bayformers, which doesn't realize its for the mentally handicapped.
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Made my day
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Has anyone actually witnessed the mess that is the trailer of this boondoggle?Oh.My.God.Are you fucking kidding me? I understand that the first film was a sarcastic look at the actioners of the 80's and 90's. I will give it that and I will also admit that I really enjoyed it! But ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!??!?!?!?!Bodies falling from helicopters without any parachutes (at what looked to be about 10,000 feet) don't have any bones left. They turn to Jell-O when they hit the fucking ground. Or when they hit a car and then bounce on to the ground. FUCK! Do we really need to suspend our disbelief so badly that we will actually watch this drivel? This crap MUST be aimed at the Brittney Spears/Lil' Wayne listening, texting-while-driving, filming people getting sucker punched and then post it to YouTube, complete and total waste of flesh - generation. I'll call them "Generation Idiot." Are these people really going to watch Jason Statham get 'shoveled' into a van and then really believe that an 'artificial heart' is implanted into his chest, and then he wakes up minutes later and commences to serious ass-kickery? FUCK! NO! Shut the FUCK-UP Bruce!!! I mean it. Seriously. Why couldn’t Shane Hurlbut have been on this film, fucking with the lights. It’s bullshit.Fucking Ass.
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did it air with the superbowl, cause I missed it and caught that shit on imdb. Cranks 2 still baffels me, a person has survived a drop like that onto sand and bush (youtube) but his bones were broken up. How is Statham unbusted up in crank 2? Why no pins and casts? Does it take place ages after he and he's all healed up with a new heart?????
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I've seen multiple ask why, exactly, Harry didn't like the Pelham poster. I don't understand, look at the fucking thing people. It looks like a mix between a DTV Seagal movie and every other Tony Scott piece of fucking shit released in the last 4 years. Forced blue tones for intensity, two bland characters staring out, absolutely no sense of place or story. If you didnt know the original Pelham, you'd NEVER guess it was a robbery/heist movie. That's the definition of a shitty fucking poster. This poster tells you this movie is gonna be absolutely ridiculous, you don't need much else. The Pelham poster tells you Denzel is in it, which fortunately for Tony Scott, is really the only thing he needs to turn a profit. I hate Tony Scott. Except True Romance. Only not piece of shit hes ever made.
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Have you seen the poster on Apple's trailer site?
http://tinyurl.com/b4alpt -
I know, right? You know what else is totally unrealistic? Fucking Bugs Bunny. I mean, have you ever shot a duck in the face? It, like, totally explodes. Its beak just doesn't swivel around to the back of its head. Can you believe people watch this crap? They must either be totally retarded or have, like, a sense of humor or something. Not like us, am I right, my man?
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Feb 11, 2009 11:00:55 AM CST
Even the posters have shaky cam now
by guy who got a headache and accidentally
If an action movie is just going to take the easy way out and be stupid at least let me get a clear look at the retard.
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but he got better.
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Zombies attack a Mentally and Psychically challenged group home. Retards and Psychically Incapable fighting of the undead and Undead Retarded and Challenged! Yes Please! Make it so!
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I want that movie. Sounds hilarious. Will the retardation carry over into death, and the zombies will somehow display retarded functions also? Would that explain why they walk like retarded people? (slow, crippled, zombies you know?) Hilarious. What other retarded traits could the zombie exhibit?
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Thank you Patton for that excellent saying!
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"You're not a newt."
"I got better." -
that rocks
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You beat me to it!
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Thought maybe you'd cut the bottom off this one to make your point too..oh wait you only do that to posters you don't like.
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Tard 1: who'd we call.
Tard 2: Ghostbusters!
Tard 1: No da police you dumby..
Tard 3: What's nine look like.
Tard 1: Nine?
Tard 2: Yeah nine one one.
Tard 1: Nines a six without a stiffy... Thats what my uncle says.
Tard 2: Your uncle has a stiffy
Tard 3: Thats what she said.
Tard 1: Wait I seen this in a movie once. You shoot them with a silver bullet.
Tard 2: If we stay in here long enough the sun will kill em.
Tard 3: That's Frankenstien...
Tard 1: Cell Phones Dead...
Tard 3: Did you Turn It On?
Tard 1: Oh..
Tard 1: What does a 9 look like again????
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seriously, looks like stupid fun, meaningless violence and boobies for 90 minswho wouldn't look forward to that?
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Fuck YES.
Gah, what a fucking blast of a guilty pleasure -
Statham staring at the camera looking pissed and a little constipated, like Name Of The King and Death Race.
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Put Amy Smart on the poster, not just her name.
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seeing as this was made for like 200 bucks and will obviously make a profit, where will they go for a third one perhaps a third one will inolve him having to be repeadetly punched in the nuts in order to stop a bomb or something...ijust hope they make it to a fourth one so it can be called "Cr4nk"
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...we saw before The Tale of Despereaux. I think Tyler Durden was in the booth. And Bill Brasky, that is exactly who it's aimed at. Kids so cranked out on Red Bull and Wannabe Rockstar drinks, Brittney and (insert 15-minute-of-fame-rapper-with-stupid-ass-oh-excuse-me-AZZ-name-destined-for-more-jail-time)listening teens and twentysomethings. SO I'll wait and enjoy this mindless no-brainer at home!
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that looks beyond retarded. Count me out.
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that looks beyond retarded. Count me IN. Amy Smart´s tits,
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I love that the filmmakers went ahead with this sequel, and chose to just sidestep the 800 pound gorilla in the room. It reminds me of the days when people didn't worry so much about "realism" in their genre flicks and weren't afraid to just have fun. One precedent here would be "Black Caesar", in which the main character dies at the end...yet still returns for the sequel, "Hell Up In Harlem".
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crank is a superb movie to find on cable at like 2am when you're high as hell. does that mean it get's the palm d'or? no. they took a ridiculous senseless movie, changed the mechanic a little bit, and made it a little more ridiculous and senseless.
at least its not a fucking remake. -
but Statham makes it look cool.
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who the fuck writes this shit
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Well, I don't think that the Pelham poster is that great too, but isn't it a little bit hypocritical to slam one poster and don't slam a shittier one? I mean Pelham told you that it was Denzel Vs Travolta and a train is somehow involved in the movie. Crank 2 is just a slightly photoshopped still from the movie. Both are disappointing, but where are Harry & Co. to tell us how bad the poster is? I mean, this one here looks even MORE like Seagal DTV than Pelham!
And Chairman: Fuck yeah, that's what I'm talking about! I hope they will use this for the DVD! -
He's indestructable basically. I don't get it.
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thought youd be all over this
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It's a sick cartoon made for marooooons! Humanity is dead. Human reality has been replaced by a Roadrunner/Wile E. Coyote sense of destruction (which works fine in a cartoon world) only with all the nastiest and most vile human traits. Meanwhile X Games Motocross Winner Jeremy Lusk died from massive head injuries...
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you are thinking of monsters vs aliens in 3-d. all these movies these year look from badass to just plain fucking stupid.
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Feb 11, 2009 1:52:20 PM CST
is this the only site that uses the term "embiggen"?
by jack_effing_bauer
you guys use that term more than a five dollar whore.
great poster though. -
I want the one with battery clamps on Amy Smarts nips.
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Am I just missing something, and all of you people who are going 'Yeah!' about this thing are really just being ironic or something? I mean seriously, this trailer looks like poo, and I don't mean the good kind of poo. Now I never saw the first one, so maybe it is all just more of the same, but still.. it reminds me of the line in a movie: 'The top-grossing movie that year, which won like 20 Academy Awards, was a movie called 'Ass'. It was just two hours of some guys ass.' We are almost there people. Yayhoo.
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Sheer genius.
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TOO SOON!!
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Inglourious Basterds teaser up on yahoo!
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Whens the water-boarding poster hit?
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unlike that shitty Taking of Pelham one.... not that this sequel will be amazing or anything, but it'll be fun like it's predecessor. And a better use of Statham is in a half-way decent retarded movie like Crank, instead of a completely retarded one like that Dungeon Siege Tale shite.
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There will be unicorns pissing rainbows over Detroit.
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Do you like Flash Gordon? IF you do, this has the same level of camp, updated for modern audiences. It's obviously not high art like Kiss Kiss Bang Bang or the Last Boyscout, just something you rent with your friends while getting hammered.
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this poster is so much better ?????
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could you milk me?"
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...something a bunch of coked-up, highly caffeinated teenagers would dream up. Awful trailer. His movies usually hit around the 30-ish mil mark domestically don't they? He's o.k. for an action "star" but has a funny voice and has NO charisma.
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starring Xzibit
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It's a perfectly cromulent word.
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that's pretty funny
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But I agree,at least it's not a remake. Well, maybe a remake of the first Crank. Oh well. You don't wanna go see it, don't see it. You do, go for it. Why is everyone so damn serious now? Ever since....late January...hmm.
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Where is Harry to shit all over this poster, which is a damn sight worse then the he and Merrick teabagged all over for Pelham. That's just plain dopey, like a weak MADTV skit.
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--I might need to shock my heart back to life too.
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I don't understand a couple things-- 1, why is there so much hatred towards michael bay? What are you people expecting when you see one of his movies? he's never going to come close to getting an award, but the guy knows how to make a blockbuster, and the thing about blockbusters is that the geek population doesn't have the tiniest bit of effect on the sucess of a movie... i really don't know... if you people hate him so much, DON'T SEE HIS FUCKIN MOVIES. That's like some douche on imdb complaining about 'all these comic book movies.' What? 2-3 comic movies a year? pretend they don't exist for fucks sake. The second thing is related to bay-- this is motherfucking crank and statham... you know what you're going to get. Transporter 2 pushed the limit as far as obserdity goes, and Transporter 3 was A COMPLETE AND TOTAL FAILURE because of the horrible directing and quick cut action scenes. What hack did that movie? YOu have FUCKING STATHAM! let the guy do his thing and just stay back so I can watch one of the few true 'martial arts' experts left who can act AND do insane action... Transporter 3 pissed me off with its terrible, terrible directing, editing and overall misuse of a guy with so much potential. This isn't about supension of disbelief... its about insanity and the 'awesome' factor: "Wait, what just happened? That would never happen in a million years! Why would they put that in the movie!?!?!" answer: "because its AWESOME, that's fucking why."
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Feb 12, 2009 12:51:21 AM CST
Fuck this stupid boring shit, made for 13 year olds!
by motoko kusanagi
A V A T A R - FUCKING YOUR EYEBALLS IN 2009!!!!!!!!!
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"...Zombies attack a Mentally and Psychically challenged group home. Retards and Psychically Incapable fighting of the undead and Undead Retarded and Challenged!..."
Get hold of 'Special Dead'. Wish granted. You're welcome. -
That's what directors Neveldine/Taylor said if this one makes money. Thusly, I plan to pay to see this as many times as I possibly can.
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AND ITS AS FAKE AS TRANSFORMERS! Fuck man...just because it isn't on MTV and projected as your favorite alleged "reality" show doesn't mean it should meet the criteria. This movie is going to be unbelievably bad ass...emphasis on the word unbelievable. It's a movie that takes the term action movie to the extreme. I suppose you whiney pansies would be satisfied if there was 20 minutes of shitty dialouge between a few action scenes...you know...like most shitty action movies. For a REAL action movie buff, Crank set the standard. As rediculous as part one was, you have to be a complete douche to have been bored at any point in the movie.
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