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Have Brian Robbins And Eddie Murphy Reversed Course And Crafted A Comedy Classic With A THOUSAND WORDS??
Beaks here...
Remember when we thought DREAMGIRLS was the beginning of the Eddie Murphy redemption tour? Remember when, during last year's press tour for MEET DAVE, he said he was ready to do stand-up again? Remember when you didn't actively dread a new movie from one of the most gifted comedic performers of the last fifty years?
I'll spare you another lament over the soul-crushing direction of Eddie Murphy's career, and hand you over to "Weapon X and a Half". From the paycheck-cashing duo that brought you NORBIT and MEET DAVE comes A THOUSAND WORDS...
Hey Harry! Longtime reader, first time writer. I'm writing because tonight at the Paramount Pictures Studio on Melrose in LA I was "fortunate" enough to attend one of the first screenings of Eddie Murphy's "A THOUSAND WORDS." The film's coming out in October, according to IMDB, so they had us check it out to see if it needs to be fixed. So does it?
Let me just say that I'm rootin for Eddie Murphy because I know he can be funny. I can still watch classics like Coming to America or the first Beverly Hills Cop and crack the hell up. But frankly the man hasn't churned out anything funny since Nutty Professor 2 back in 2000. Unless you count his vocal work in the Shrek movies, (at which, only the first two were good) so if you want to get technical, he hasn't made anything funny since 2004--5 years ago.
Unfortunately the streak continues.
This is a movie with a decent enough premise. A man finds out he only has 1000 words left before he dies. But it's completely wasted on a dumb movie with horrible characters you don't care about, and horrible direction courtesy of Brian "the hack responsible for Norbit and Meet Dave" Robbins. That man is easily killing Murphy's career. But let's not give him all the credit...Let's share some with Steve Koren, the man responsible for Click and Bruce Almighty! Those two may have been decent comedies, but the "what-if a crazy workaholic comedian ends up in a crazier unbelievable situation" formula's wearing thin buddy!
Murphy plays Jack McCall, an agent for a successful book publishing company looking to get deals with successful authors. He's so successfull that he can afford to be a douche that specializes in bullshitting people, and in the process neglects the "important things in life that matter" like "being good to others" and "being a good father/husband." His wife, played by Kerry Washington (the blind chick The Thing is taking advantage of with his rock parts in Fantastic Four 1 and 2), is--get this--frustrated because he *gasp* is always on the phone thinking about work! He mistreats his assistant (played by Clarke Duke from Sex Drive), and everyone else around him.
But one day Eddie goes to sign a book deal for his boss (Allison Janney) with some successful religious guru/yoga instructor played by Cliff Curtis. When he sees him, he ends up getting cut by some magical tree (yes you read that correctly), which all of a sudden appears in his backyard one night. He starts to notice that for every word he says, a leaf falls from the tree--which includes writing words, and giving the tree the finger, but for some inconsistant reason, NOT nodding "yes" and shaking your head "no." The Guru Pitka, or Chopra, or JoJo--whatever the fuck his name was--tells him that once all the leaves fall off the tree, and it dies, so does Murphy. So our protagonist, not being able to speak, decides to spend the rest of the movie playing charades and acting like a moron by jumping up and down, shaking, and making funny faces. This predictably ends up frustrating his wife more because she's bitching about moving into a new house, and forcing him to go to Daddy-Son classes without getting a real response from him (other than a "comedic" spasm) to the point where she, *gasp* leaves him and takes their son. He then gets fired, and in the last miraculous 10 minutes, undergoes a revelation that makes him a "better person," a transformation that comes so suddenly, it makes the Grinch's change of heart look amazingly reallistic.
Ok, now to rip this one a new asshole...What can I say. The movie's pure shit. It's completely illogical, you end up disliking most of the characters, and it's painfully unfunny.
For one thing, Murphy's able to show and convince his assistant about what's going on with the tree late into the movie, but apparently he doesn't think about showing it to convince his wife. I guess it just doesnt occur to him. But if he had done that about 40 mins into the movie, he'd have saved us all 50 more minutes of crap. I mean he doesn't even keep track of how many words he has left (how many leaves the tree has). And rather than using those final words constructively, he uses them acting like a moron.
It's attempts at comedy are basically Eddie Murphy trying to make rap noises during yoga chanting, or spasming while struggling to say something, or a few slapstick dumbass scenes. One scene had a blindman (John Witherspoon) asking Eddie if it's safe to cross a busy street, with Eddie unable to say anything, which predictably turns out to be nothing more than a retarded over-the-top rejected Mr. Magoo joke. Another scene had Eddie being attacked by a stuffed cat. And another had Eddie being hit by a swing that his son was on. If there was any comedy in the movie, it's all because of Clarke Duke. He's a pretty talented actor/comedian, and his career's going to take a hit because of this crapfest. His
character is someone the movie tries to get you to root for or have sympathy for, only to make him inconsistantly turn into a douche at the end, so you dislike him completely.
There's only a few decent attempts at character development, which have something to do with Murphy's character's daddy issues. Legendary actress, Ruby Dee plays his alzheimer-afflicted mother, in scenes which actually make you want to feel something for the movie, considering she believes him to be her late husband during his visits. Unfortunately there's only around 2 of those, and they don't compensate for the rest of the shitfest. The movie doesnt even attempt to connect these with Murphy's own situation with his son and wife.
The problem with these "what-if" comedies are that they're ALWAYS the same. Workaholic idiot goes through a supernatural situation that changes his life and make him realize his priorities. However, Click and Bruce Almighty regardless of how formulaic they were, were actually funnier and presented the formula in a more coherent way. The characters and their changes were more believable, and you actually ended up giving a damn about their stories and situations, rather than completely mocking and questioning them. They were definitely less flawed. And I remind you, I'm talking about CLICK and BRUCE ALMIGHTY, for god's sake--Movies that make you wish for old school Jim Carrey and Adam Sandler---they're practically Oscar worthy compared to this piece of shit! The problem is Brian Robbins. Terrible amateur director, who specializes in poor sight gags over coherent storytelling or character development. But what do you expect? The man started out doing that low-rent child's SNL, "ALL THAT," and continued with Norbit. And Eddie definitely needs to stop associating himself with this guy ASAP. His career is dying--we all know it. But we have seen what happens with he works with a capable director (just see Dreamgirls, which earned him an Oscar Nod).
Anyway, I just wanted to warn everyone before the movie comes out. They want to save this thing? Refilm everything. However, at this point, it's hardly worth it...
Anyway, thanks a lot! If you use this, call me "Weapon X and a Half"
And yet I'm holding out hope for Karey Kirkpatrick's IMAGINE THAT (formerly NOWHERELAND). He's a good man, momma, when he ain't throwing me down the stairs...
Let me just say that I'm rootin for Eddie Murphy because I know he can be funny. I can still watch classics like Coming to America or the first Beverly Hills Cop and crack the hell up. But frankly the man hasn't churned out anything funny since Nutty Professor 2 back in 2000. Unless you count his vocal work in the Shrek movies, (at which, only the first two were good) so if you want to get technical, he hasn't made anything funny since 2004--5 years ago.
Unfortunately the streak continues.
This is a movie with a decent enough premise. A man finds out he only has 1000 words left before he dies. But it's completely wasted on a dumb movie with horrible characters you don't care about, and horrible direction courtesy of Brian "the hack responsible for Norbit and Meet Dave" Robbins. That man is easily killing Murphy's career. But let's not give him all the credit...Let's share some with Steve Koren, the man responsible for Click and Bruce Almighty! Those two may have been decent comedies, but the "what-if a crazy workaholic comedian ends up in a crazier unbelievable situation" formula's wearing thin buddy!
Murphy plays Jack McCall, an agent for a successful book publishing company looking to get deals with successful authors. He's so successfull that he can afford to be a douche that specializes in bullshitting people, and in the process neglects the "important things in life that matter" like "being good to others" and "being a good father/husband." His wife, played by Kerry Washington (the blind chick The Thing is taking advantage of with his rock parts in Fantastic Four 1 and 2), is--get this--frustrated because he *gasp* is always on the phone thinking about work! He mistreats his assistant (played by Clarke Duke from Sex Drive), and everyone else around him.
But one day Eddie goes to sign a book deal for his boss (Allison Janney) with some successful religious guru/yoga instructor played by Cliff Curtis. When he sees him, he ends up getting cut by some magical tree (yes you read that correctly), which all of a sudden appears in his backyard one night. He starts to notice that for every word he says, a leaf falls from the tree--which includes writing words, and giving the tree the finger, but for some inconsistant reason, NOT nodding "yes" and shaking your head "no." The Guru Pitka, or Chopra, or JoJo--whatever the fuck his name was--tells him that once all the leaves fall off the tree, and it dies, so does Murphy. So our protagonist, not being able to speak, decides to spend the rest of the movie playing charades and acting like a moron by jumping up and down, shaking, and making funny faces. This predictably ends up frustrating his wife more because she's bitching about moving into a new house, and forcing him to go to Daddy-Son classes without getting a real response from him (other than a "comedic" spasm) to the point where she, *gasp* leaves him and takes their son. He then gets fired, and in the last miraculous 10 minutes, undergoes a revelation that makes him a "better person," a transformation that comes so suddenly, it makes the Grinch's change of heart look amazingly reallistic.
Ok, now to rip this one a new asshole...What can I say. The movie's pure shit. It's completely illogical, you end up disliking most of the characters, and it's painfully unfunny.
For one thing, Murphy's able to show and convince his assistant about what's going on with the tree late into the movie, but apparently he doesn't think about showing it to convince his wife. I guess it just doesnt occur to him. But if he had done that about 40 mins into the movie, he'd have saved us all 50 more minutes of crap. I mean he doesn't even keep track of how many words he has left (how many leaves the tree has). And rather than using those final words constructively, he uses them acting like a moron.
It's attempts at comedy are basically Eddie Murphy trying to make rap noises during yoga chanting, or spasming while struggling to say something, or a few slapstick dumbass scenes. One scene had a blindman (John Witherspoon) asking Eddie if it's safe to cross a busy street, with Eddie unable to say anything, which predictably turns out to be nothing more than a retarded over-the-top rejected Mr. Magoo joke. Another scene had Eddie being attacked by a stuffed cat. And another had Eddie being hit by a swing that his son was on. If there was any comedy in the movie, it's all because of Clarke Duke. He's a pretty talented actor/comedian, and his career's going to take a hit because of this crapfest. His
character is someone the movie tries to get you to root for or have sympathy for, only to make him inconsistantly turn into a douche at the end, so you dislike him completely.
There's only a few decent attempts at character development, which have something to do with Murphy's character's daddy issues. Legendary actress, Ruby Dee plays his alzheimer-afflicted mother, in scenes which actually make you want to feel something for the movie, considering she believes him to be her late husband during his visits. Unfortunately there's only around 2 of those, and they don't compensate for the rest of the shitfest. The movie doesnt even attempt to connect these with Murphy's own situation with his son and wife.
The problem with these "what-if" comedies are that they're ALWAYS the same. Workaholic idiot goes through a supernatural situation that changes his life and make him realize his priorities. However, Click and Bruce Almighty regardless of how formulaic they were, were actually funnier and presented the formula in a more coherent way. The characters and their changes were more believable, and you actually ended up giving a damn about their stories and situations, rather than completely mocking and questioning them. They were definitely less flawed. And I remind you, I'm talking about CLICK and BRUCE ALMIGHTY, for god's sake--Movies that make you wish for old school Jim Carrey and Adam Sandler---they're practically Oscar worthy compared to this piece of shit! The problem is Brian Robbins. Terrible amateur director, who specializes in poor sight gags over coherent storytelling or character development. But what do you expect? The man started out doing that low-rent child's SNL, "ALL THAT," and continued with Norbit. And Eddie definitely needs to stop associating himself with this guy ASAP. His career is dying--we all know it. But we have seen what happens with he works with a capable director (just see Dreamgirls, which earned him an Oscar Nod).
Anyway, I just wanted to warn everyone before the movie comes out. They want to save this thing? Refilm everything. However, at this point, it's hardly worth it...
Anyway, thanks a lot! If you use this, call me "Weapon X and a Half"
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Is anyone surprised? Eddie Murphy is finished.
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His Oscar nomination was based solely on the fact that he actually didn't suck. Like his Bowfinger co-star Steve Martin, he needs to retire. I give Rick Moranis credit. At least when started getting cast in family friendly crap like Big Bully and Honey we Shrunk Ourselves he relized that he'd made enough money and was done with the crap films.
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Would be a pseudo-documentary where he comes clean about giving a ride to a Tranny prostitute.
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lets do it again NO I DONT NEED TO TAKE A MINUTE LETS DOIDDAGENNNN! and lets not have Eddie Murphy WALKIN AROUND.
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Charlie should be the New Beverly Hills cop. He could play Axel Foley's brother who comes to LA in order to investigate Axel's murder.
Your'e Welcome. -
The Alex P. Keaton clone from Head of the Class?
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Where the problem is a guy is a lazy dofus, causing him all sorts of problems with his wife and kids. His character arc is that he learns to work hard, put in 50+ hours at the office, and provide a nice life for his family.
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Ignorant twat.
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He is the same Brian Robbins from Head of the Class. I actually got his autograph at a car show about 20 years ago, pretty lame I know.
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is the only thing Brian Robbins needs to concentrate on right now. The public DEMANDS it.
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Bedtime Stories, which was warmed over Sandler to begin with. So he has two major releases coming out in the same year? I realize Norbit was an unexpected hit (Oh thats right FAT is FUNNY:See Blart), but how does Murphy continue to get movie deals??? Thats a LOT of past good will.
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He was on Head of the Class, but wasn't he more of a Vinnie Barbarino clone than an Alex Keaton clone? My memory is fuzzy...
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He was more like a Barbarino/Fonzi character that wore leather jackets and such except he was really smart. I forget who the Alex Keaton clone but there was one.
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It's not that bad! Sure it's not great. It's no where near Axel F/King Jaffi-Jaffa territory, it's probably not even as good as Golden Child (a movie I have fond memories of from childhood so I can't tell if it's still actually good or not). But it's easily the best lead role he's had in years. erm, not that that's hard.
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Eddie Murphy can make you laugh HARD if he's in the right movie. if people would stop going to the crapfests he makes, he'd have no reason to make them.
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I'd buy that for a dollar
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One of my favourite comedies which is just a pure pleasure to watch. Up there with Galaxy Quest for me.
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It's Eddie Murphy's career going straight down the toilet. Hard to make sense of the horrid choices he's made in the last few years. Bowfinger was probably the last really good comedy role he's had. Norbit was was astonishingly bad.
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His twilight years are long gone. Yes, he's still got plenty of money, so Eddie can ride out into the sunset or go on a comedy tour and take one last bow. But if you truly want to re-kindle your film career but you have get back to the roots of what made you famous which was edgy-adult comedy, and screw political correctness and family friendly crap. Don't worry Eddie, your kids are grown up now and they probably curse more than you did in your early stand-up. When you did the "Gay Honeymooners" routine, we all laughed our asses off. When you talked about Captain Kirk fucking the Green Bitch, we pissed in our pants. Go back to what made you a star. Keep up this crap-film cycle and you'll be as successful as the man who used to drive you home from Comedy Clubs on Long Island, and his name is...Jackie "The Jokeman" Martling. Haw! Haw!
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Oh well Harry, guess you don't get people to click on a story by putting in "Eddie Murphy blows goats again"
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anyone remember when Eddie Murphy was ha ha funny?
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Kenan is on SNL, but I haven't seen Kel in anything since Mystery Men.
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Well he was the "Invisible Kid" in Mystery Men who couldn't use his power unless nobody looked at him. I guess he got real good at utilizing his powers after the film, since nobody has seen him since.
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Get your edge back. If you can find it.
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Demanding that brian robbins stay at least 5000 feet from eddie murphy at all times. Mr. Robbins is also not to have any verbal, written or signaled communication with Mr. Murphy.
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Demanding that brian robbins stay at least 5000 feet from eddie murphy at all times. Mr. Robbins is also not to have any verbal, written or signaled communication with Mr. Murphy.
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...in the battle to see who has strayed further from their glory days of coolness and quality work.
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Eddie Murphy was one of the funniest people to ever walk the planet. His 80's movies, stand up and SNL work are among the best work ever done in comedy. He hasn't done anything quality since around 89 though. He needs some serious career advice. Get together w/ Bill Murray. Bill hasn't exactly torn thing up lately, but at least he has expanded his horizons and made a handful of great movies... Eddie what happened? 83 Eddie would have ripped on you relentlessly!
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I consider Coming to America, Trading Places to be among the top comedies of ALL time...Up there w/ Stripes, Animal House, Ghostbusters etc.
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Which part? I must have blinked
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Feb 07, 2009 4:38:43 AM CST
Here's a 'high concept' comedy premise Hollywood: a character ca
by spacesheik
before he dies - so he spends the rest of the movie in a haze of constipated bliss unable to effectively move and talk - a comedy classic in the making, in the tradition of LIAR LIAR, YES MAN, BRUCE ALMIGHTY..
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We wouldn't have Keenan and his Bill Cosby impression on SNL if it wasn't for that show.
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Feb 07, 2009 11:55:42 AM CST
"This is a movie with a decent enough premise. A man finds out h
by xoanontorn
"This is a movie with a decent enough premise. A man finds out he only has 1000 words left before he dies. "
I stopped reading right there..THAT is a decent premise? -
It was all based on homo jokes and funny voices, neither of which are funny any more.
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...they get really good make-up and do stand-up WITHOUT the audience knowing who they are. Just let their skill as comedians do the work. We, as the movie audience, could see the behind the sceens of both talking about how liberating it is to just tell funny material w/out the pressure of being Eddie or Martin. At the end of the tour (yeah, maybe it could be a tour) they would reveal to the concert audience who they really are. I think if they wrote great enough material, it would work...what do ya'll think?
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It's a bit shit! Eddie is great. But the movie is a lame treacly fairy tale with patronising clichés galore. Which breaks my heart because I love John Landis. That one was the beginning of the end though. Oscar, Beverly Hills Cop 3 and Blues Bros 2000 followed. Watch it again and see how there actually aren't that many genuinely funny bits. I guess it's sweet and all, and I love James Earl Jones, but...
The reasons why Coming to America, Nutty Professor and Norbit actually made money are twofold. Eddie Murphy and Rick Baker. I fight myself because I don't want to buy Norbit, but there's no-one who can touch Baker's stuff. The effects whore in me just wants to study it. He actually topped the Jewish Guy by doing the Asian guy, both as a younger AND older man. Holy fuck that guy's a genius. But cursed with the same luck as Phil Tippet in doing the best work on movies that are not worthy of them.
And yeah The Thinker, that'd be cool. Like a Richard Bachman sorta thing. Get Rick Baker to do the makeup. Eddie can be white and Steve can be black! -
fund it
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