Dark ones that live in the shadows and that I capture the souls of children to appease, bless you for delivering unto me, Harry Knowles, the first review of a Sam Raimi horror film that seems to officially rock the balls off of the following geek! For those of you reading, realize that the following has spoilers, but there is a bit of pre-spoiler stuff that MiscalledHobos writes that just makes me extremely happy. I can't wait.. This movie needs to hit my eyes NOW!

Greetings!

I just got home from the AMC Burbank screening of the new Sam Raimi movie DRAG ME TO HELL. Hoo boy, super fun stuff.

Music and special effects weren't quite reablahblahblah.

This movie...oh man. I didn't realize how much I missed having this living piss scared out of me.

So, Christine (Alison Lohman) pisses off the nastiest gypsy woman I've ever seen on film, Mrs. Ganush (Lorna Raver). Ganush places a curse on Christine, which means she's going to be physically and mentally tormented by a demon for three days, and on the fourth day it is going to literally drag her to hell.

That's the most basic synopsis I can give without spoilers. If you wish to stop reading then just know that this is balls-out Raimi. Tons of gore, suspense and laughs. Go see it.

DRAG ME TO SPOILERS

Movie starts with a prologue. Family comes to a Womans' mansion begging her for help. Their child says that demons are chasing him. They bring the kid inside, but before She can do anything, invisible forces attack everyone and drag the kid into, presumably, hell.

Title card.

Christie works as a loan officer at a bank with, among others, David Paymer and Reggie Lee. Paymer is sweet, as usual, but I have to mention what a fantastic worm Reggie Lee plays. It would have been great to see Ted Raimi play this role too, but Lee slams it. I loved hating this guy.

Anyways, Mrs. Ganush comes in and asks Christie for some more time to pay back a loan, however, Christie is vying for a promotion so she turns it down.

THEN...

Holy fuck. My favorite scene in the movie is what happens next. The Classic, a flying handkerchief, a slow pan to the right, a stapler, a set of gums, a brick and a button. It doesn't make sense, but I can't in good conscience give this scene away. Suffice to say, in perfect Sam Raimi style, the guy made me laugh and want to tear my skin off in the same SECOND! Lorna Raver is such a great body for Raimi. Did the flying lady-ghoul in EVIL DEAD freak you out?

Christie is cursed, she's fucked, who's going to help her? Justin Long? As much as I love that guy (and he's very funny in this) I just don't see it happening. First, she goes to Dileep Rao (never seen the man before, but I look forward to whatever he's doing in AVATAR). He plays a fortune teller and explains to her exactly what this curse entails. That night, Christie is visited for the first time by the demon Lymen (I honestly don't remember its name, but it started with an L).

Dileep can't help Christie so he takes her to the one person he knows who might be able to help her, the woman from the beginning of the film, Shaun San Dena (played by ...uh, terribly sorry, but I don't know the actresses name). The seance scene that follows is, once again filled with scares and giggles and a talking goat.

The movie doesn't end there, but I really feel bad giving away plot here. This movie was sincerely fantastic. I love Sam Raimi and, after being turned off by Spiderman 3, I was immensely stoked to see a horror film from him. I can't recommend it enough.

Sorry for the briefness and unprofessional nature of this review, but it's my first and I'm just so fucking excited after seeing this movie.

If you use this, please give the name MiscalledHobos.

Thanks!