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5 new posters for GI JOE hit the nets!
Hey folks, Harry here with the latest GI JOE posters. I'm not really sure what they're really selling here other than how fit the actors are - and how well the costumes look in shadowy cool they look. But tonally it doesn't really tell us anything about the movie. I think that'll change this Sunday when we see what they show us during the SUPER BOWL. Till then, here's your latest glimpse, publicity fashion...
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Jan 27, 2009 5:54:25 AM CST
All they need to do to sell this flick is...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
"From the director of The Mummy Returns"That will put bums on seats.
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Why do they look like they're from the Matrix?
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is making me drunk with all that ass inside them... pants...
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I just don't like that the characters are so indistinguishable (besides Snake Eyes) other than man, woman, white or black. I get why you can't have a character like Deep Six (I know he's not in the movie) running around in scuba or diving gear but they could have done SOMETHING to highlight each character's specialty.
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Thank god the failure of The Spirit showed that you need to do more in a film than dress beautiful actresses up in tight leather/plastic costumes. Sadly I don't think Stephen Sommers got the email. This looks like ridiculous gun-happy shit, too dumb even for the 13-year-old boys they are aiming this at.
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Will there be any death in this movie? I mean these are soldiers firing automatic weapons at each other. Hasbro wants to sell toys, but I hope we get some intelligent real world military action.
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went to school with the Red Head. Who knew she'd become a version of a multi-poseable plastic action figure?
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they don't look anything remotly military. and do not connect with the words G.I.
fail. -
Hope we get a nice action film....it doesn't need to be"deep" something in tone with say Under Siege .......don't mind the costumes as they make more sense than the ridiculous GI JOE action figures ....
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Maybe a trailer will make it look like something other than people wearing black latex running around with guns and swords.
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... will make "Speed Racer" look like "The Godfather". I can smell the stink coming off this pile all the way back here in January. That is all.
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And fingers crossed
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Jan 27, 2009 6:21:27 AM CST
and how well the costumes look in shadowy cool they look
by the ringwraith
Also classic oldschool Harry
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if this is a point and pose action movie....
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Woopidy freakin doo. Anyone that thinks this movie is going to "rock!" or "kick ass!!!!" probably has a 3 3/4 inch GI Joe action figure lodged in his ass.
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It's a must.
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specialties and costumes are what made G.I. Joe so cool to me as a kid. The variety of characters are what made that show unique, rather than it just being a ton of little green plastic army men running around. Or in this case, a ton of black-clad army men running around.
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As a concerned parent, I'd like to know whether this latest adaptation of a child's toy will be suitable for my young son, Frank, Jnr, who enjoyed Bratz: The Movie but found it a little too girly.I'm assuming this GI Joe: The Movie is the same kind of thing, but aimed more at small boys than small girls.Is that correct?Perhaps someone here who knows a lot about these toy-related motion pictures can help me out with this.Thanks.
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that's just bad framing
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Sold on staying home, that is.
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y'know just to run around in.
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Much better than the Star Trek posters for the new movie...but I want to see a film trailer in order to get an idea of this film's direction and feel.
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When I saw that Duke poster on Myspace this morning, I thought it was a picture of Batman's Dark Knight costume. It just looks like Snake Eyes is wearing a latex muscle shirt. I really hope the trailer knocks my socks off, I really want to dig this flick.
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Ecks vs. Sever for some reason.
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and stole the extra suits. I love GI Joe, but this isn't right. Thief Bagginses, we hates it.
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My exact thoughts scrolling down those pics: "Please show Sienna Miller in hot black leather Please show Sienna Miller in hot black leather....awesome. The only reason to see this movie be praised. It worked just fine for Underworld:Kate Beckinsale in hot leather. What happened in that movie? I wonder if I'll remember anything coming out of Sienna Miller In Hot Leather: GIJoeandsomeshit"
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yep.
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The poster featuring Bruce Willis? You know, the one where he standing around, looking all serious and getting showered with sparks? We're talking about the same movie right?
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I would do ungodly things to The Baroness and Scarlett... there'd be an internet fad around the video we'd make, trust me.
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I must have been thinking about the Dark Knight posters. God damn sparks, they're everywhere these days.
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everyone is 100% completely fuckin black??????? WTF are they thinking.... i dont see GIJOE here, not watching this on theater, it deserves to bomb
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They're all dressed in black fetish wear? Gay. Don't know about anyone else but I've never seen any Navy Seals or Rangers running around in anything like this.
I'll be waiting for the vampires and werewolves to appear... -
to the military it looks like, and they're buying it. Way to rip off!
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Might as well just have had him put on one of those muscle t-shirts.
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...cutting off at the eyes. Nice way to steal their idea.
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When they make superhero movies, they decide that they have to make some changes to the crazy outfits they wear so as not to look silly in the real world. THEN, we have characters who all, with a few exceptions, wear actual real world clothes that one may find in the military... and they CHANGE THEM TO SUPERHERO COSTUMES. Brilliant, Hollywood, just brilliant.
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Everything I've seen so far has been so completely wrong that I'm thinking about buying tickets in advance. Do they give out preliminary Razzies?
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Jan 27, 2009 7:29:10 AM CST
love how they used MS Paint to put shades on the last one.
by knowthyself
I guess they thought it looked too much like the other nameless girl above her.
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..Mass Effect. They could steal that first poster. IT'S SHEPARD I TELL'S YA!.
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will whup the shit out of this movie:http://tinyurl.com/6cfewn
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...what if we made EVERYONE in the movie look like Snake Eyes? Genius!
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...what if we made EVERYONE in the movie look like Snake Eyes? Genius!
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Give them something from their respective comic book uniforms to help distinguish them. But no, now everyone is dressed like the baroness
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Cause they sure as hell look like it.
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Oh wait, they've done that already in the comic books. Nevermind.
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Ditto. Looks like Summers has another piece
of crap on his hands. -
my pants fit funny
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Oh wait, it's just the next Holloywood "Must See" movie of the summer, yeah right.
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Nothing can sell GI Joe like an ass shot of Baroness (assuming that's who it is).
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Jan 27, 2009 8:07:59 AM CST
did you dumb asses really want to see the cartoonish comic outfi
by j2talk
at least the black outfits makes sense for a commando strike force...the only reason the old GI JOE line had so many different costumes was to sell more toys
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Where's my Deep Rising sequel!?
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With those suits, you can't tell who the fuck is how, except for Snake Eyes and maybe Baroness, the two that most people know right off the bat.
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How will they crowbar the line "And Knowing is half the battle" into this movie?
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When is The Inside coming out on DVD?!? Awesome show.
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I think they said it was okay?
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. . .then make my judgment.
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Is this true?
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Actually, of the characters we see here, Duke wears a khaki shirt and olive drab pants. Ya know, Army clothes. Ripcord (I think he's supposed to be Stalker) wore green and brown camouflage. The Baroness wore exactly what she wears in this movie. Snake-Eyes is based off one of his various looks. Scarlett was admittedly dressed a bit silly, but still wearing gray and khaki.So, in other words, the silliest looking characters got to keep their silly outfits, while the characters with the realistic military outfits got new Batman Begins armor. Ya know, sort of the opposite of what makes sense.
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I'm as much for nostalgia as the next guy, but it can't be nostalgia if its revamped for today. That's why I think Transformers, GI Joe, Care Bears, etc. should all stay in the eighties. The only exception is Exo Squad. Bring that show out of the nineties, please. Most underrated cartoon. Ever.
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The rest look like a PVC gimp squad.
How exactly are we supposed to tell one person from the other? Look at their weapons rather than them? -
that Transformers and G.I. Joe have been around since the 80s and have existed in various forms pretty much for all these years. Though, I at least agree that keeping these things away from being live-action hollywood films, and letting them remain cartoons and toys for kids may be a better way to go.Except for "Frank Miller's Care Bears", coming soon to a theater near you.
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Jan 27, 2009 8:34:31 AM CST
When will there be a live action Sailor Moon movie?
by spifftacular squirrel girl
With black body armor and according to most talkbackers... starring Will Smith. Wooo.
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Sorry, can't cap on this. No major live motion picture attempt. No major attempt to revive the series until now. We need this. It will rock. Like Transformers before it. Viva La Hasbro!
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Johnny Cash called from Heaven and said "Too black."
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Jan 27, 2009 8:41:48 AM CST
Granted, I never kept up with the GI Joe or Transfomers comics..
by rbatty024
but as people have mentioned on this site before, both films are obviously based on the cartoons. If they chose to base these off of better source material maybe the films would be interesting, but as much as I like revisiting my childhood now and again, I can't convince myself that those cartoons were actually good.
Although, the thing I'm looking forward to the most in Frank Miller's "Care Bears" is Scarlett Johansen as Cheer Bear. It's gonna be a furry's wet dream. -
Seriously, torsos? How creative..I will reserve judgement on this also until the trailer. Sommers has said he wants this to be like old school Bond, I'm assuming Roger Moore/Moonraker, knowing Sommers. Lets hope his practical effects versus CGI ratio is heavy on the practical side.
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way to go Shithead Sommers and retards at the studio. Can't wait to see Cobra Commanders mask..I'm sure it'll look like Darth Vader. Black is a pussy way out of costume design. Going with the original costumes woulda saved alot of money and would've worked. You can't even tell any of these assholes apart besides Snake Eyes. He and the Baroness are the only ones that should be in black.
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The copyright lawsuit has been filed.
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I just did a spit-take laughing at your post. And the sad thing is, I think I'd be first in line to see "Frank Miller's Care Bears." That would be HILARIOUS.
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Great posters. I'd download them if I didn't hate the way most of the characters look. And how the hell is Marlon Wayans up there trying to look hard?
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Yet another kids movie based on toys and cartoons that 40 year old men will complain about.
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I don't give a dirty rats ass.
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ALL LOOK SAME.
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"as a concerned alien hunter and not too knowledgeable about ancient and violent squabblings between races"Funny
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Generic, but probrably dumb fun if SS gets it right (after his last two efforts I'm not so sure)
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...when the film is being marketed by shots of the characters with their heads cut off. Nice.Having said that, if this is going to be two hours of automatic gunfire, Sienna Miller's ass in leather and a scene of Snake Eyes patching up Scarlett as she strips out of her leather (you KNOW that's in there) then I'm in 100%. Now, if they could just put in Lady Jaye and Cover Girl I'd be a happy camper. Actually, if they can make the sequel (assuming this makes some cash) the Ripcord/Zartan story from the comics I'd be a VERY happy man.
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...need to put their Kung-Fu grip on my johnson, posthaste!
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pure genius.
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A property that has the convenience to deck out it's baddies in bright primary shades,and the heroes in varying degrees of self customized combat gear, all reduced to generic 'tits on Batman' fetish wear without a hint of individualism. What exactly is the point of including a charcter like the Baroness if EVERYONE is going to dress the same way? Whoever costume designed this should be blacklisted for life.
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What do they think its the late 90's and everyone is excited about people wearing black and carrying guns? Three words for them, Matrix abortion sequels, boring.
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has more Junk in the Trunk!
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GI Joe is a Real AMERICAN Hero!! you dont see James Bond all Globalized!
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Jan 27, 2009 9:39:28 AM CST
I would rather give money to this than TINTIN.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Actually, yes--either live action or CGI, I would prefer a Joe movie where the people wear their respective "costumes" from the comic, unless a given situation or weather called for something else (eg Deep Six would not wear his suit on land, etc). That's part of what made this Joe thing cool. Sure, you sacrifice a little realism by doing that. But who among us ever thought Joe was realistic? We're talking about a supposed elite military force that shoots blue lasers at the bad guys going "BE-YEW! BE-YEW! BE-YEW!" without ever hitting anyone
I do recall one comic early on that was fantastic because it was sort of realistic. Firefly and Destro were sent to the woods to ambush Snake-Eyes at his woodland retreat. They strafe his cabin and grenade it, but Snake Eyes escapes through a floor hatch -
At Joe headquarters, instead of a photo of the president on the wall, there will be a photo of Robert Smith from the Cure or Al Jorgensen from Ministry
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in the G.I. Emo mess hall at night, they all sit down together and share cornbread while discussing their FEELINGS of isolation, detachment and alienation, and they do so in hushed, low tones and minimal eye contact. Later, in their own bunks, each cries himself softly to sleep and wakes up ashamed and angry for it
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are we sure those are GI Joe characters and not images of Marilyn Manson and his last touring band?
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Jan 27, 2009 9:45:51 AM CST
ah yes, generic film posters I pass by without glancing.
by gungan slayer
all it says to me
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apparently he must have splendid, high cheekbones and a well manicured goatee. Just because
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Jan 27, 2009 9:51:15 AM CST
Definitely a mix of DARK KNIGHT armor & METALGEAR SOLID
by george newman
Those are Batman's abs. The close clinging suit also looks like Snake's and Raiden's in the Metal Gear games.
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Chili for lunch.
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...and bauled him out: "So YOU'RE the bloody wanker who stole all our extra Bat-Suits!!!"
I can smell the stink of this movie here in January 27, 2009, sort of like Smell-O-Vision time travel. -
Jan 27, 2009 10:03:29 AM CST
there was nothing wrong with the old uniforms
by itto ogami loses daigoro
why do Cobra and the Joes have the same outfits?
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sounds brilliant. Where can I get one, and how much?
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Find these all on your own? Or were the emailed to you? Thanks for giving credit. Oh wait, you didn't.
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Jan 27, 2009 10:23:54 AM CST
Why does everybody have Batman's body armour?
by the reluctant austinite
This ain't the G.I. Joe I remember. Needs more white man's afros and kung fu grip.
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Couldn't help myself... mostly because of how completely ridiculous this project looks.
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Baroness look fine, but when the Joes are dressed just like her and you can't tell the difference between them and the baddies, that's bad.
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I bet if they knew Obama would be president, they wouldn't have so much trepidation over the whole "Real American Hero" angle. AND YES, WHY THE HELL DO THE JOES AND THE FREAKIN COBRAS HAVE THE SAME DAMNED COSTUMES???
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Jan 27, 2009 10:48:12 AM CST
We've done black leather since about David Lynch's DUNE
by yotzvonfrelnik
I'm sorry but I've really had my fill of black leather body armor. Sure I don't have an idea right away on what would be better, but I can't help wishing they'd evolve the whole style into something else. Any time I hear about soldiers, commandoes, special super agents, future warriors or modern heroes, it's like OH! what a surprise... black body armor. Won't prevent me from seeing the film though.
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Really fucking terrible. Hopefully these suits appear at the end of the film. God, who am I kidding? After Van Helsing I really don't know how Sommers is being allowed to make another movie. Why do studios and these fucktard hack directors always insist on stripping the soul away from EVERY property they get their filthy soul-less hands on?
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Where did that come from?! It was amazing!!! Even with shitty video it look awesome. Thanks for sharing. It's great to see something like that. What Gi joe is supposed to be instead of this piece of shit live action movie. I will be looking out for Gi Joe resolute. I didn't realize something like what i saw could exist in this day an age but Now I know! And knowing is half the battle!
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Where the hell are my brightly colored camouflage uniforms? The blue and orange fatigues? The bright red Cobra mook outfits? Why the hell has everything gone black leather? Didn't you read Astonishing X-Men? Didn't you hear that black armor is officially played out (Batman excepted)? GEEZ!! Even Snake Eyes knew to wear PURPLE ninja clothes. And what's with his pants? The fuck is he wearing? Dockers?! YEESH!!
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A yuppie ninja. Fucking great.
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Reluctant Austinite, I refuse to admit defeat.
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that'd be cool.
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So the tagline for GI Joe has always been "A Real AMERICAN Hero"...Soooo by that slogan I would assume they would use American military weapons. So why are they all using Bullpup style rifles? I know that sounds really minor and it is really, but jesus christ does ANYBODY who works on these films do any research of any kind? As far as I know, no branch of the US military uses a rear loading rifle... sigh.. I give up guys, I really do.
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Nevermind the fact that the character's race was white in the cartoons. And the Baroness looks retarded. Should have got Evangeline Lily for that role. And Joesph Gordon Levitt as Cobra Commander? Should have got Hugo Weaving.
Ok, we know this movie already looks derivative. Who wants to bet we'll get an ending similar to Revenge of the Sith where we see Cobra Commander's mask being lowered onto his disfigured face? -
Last I heard, G.I. Joe in the movie is now GIJOE, an international-UN like- terrorist reaction force based in Brussels. So no 'Real American Hero' tag line. The movie sounds like politically correct ASS.
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Aint it cool news should be covering this! I have to get my news from talkback messages? Come on!
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The American military uses Italian Beretta 92Fs as the issue sidearm. Also, the military is looking at several foreign arms manufacturers in order to replace the M16, including the German company H&K and the Belgian company FN.
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Is he wearing a sneaking suit from Metal Gear?
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Costumes look like leftovers from BATMAN BEGINS.
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http://tinyurl.com/246bab
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If you only see 185 movies this year, make sure GI Joe is somewhere in the 170s on your list!
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This is GI Joe, its a movie based on a cartoon that was made to sell TOYS. OF COURSE IT IS GOING TO BE A STUPID MOVIE. Just get that in your heads right off the bat. Of course they have to update the characters and take away any qualities that made the characters distinguishable from one another in the silly cartoon. Like Transformers, look how well that movie did in the box office! It was an AMAZING movie! Yes, G.I.Joe the movie is going to suck but it will be a fun movie. You will see some nice asses (albeit nice clothed asses). You'll see some awesome special effects. Sit back, turn your brain off and enjoy the ride!!!!!!!!!
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This is what they don't understand. By making ALL the characters wear black, you TAKE AWAY from the ones who wear black normally. Snake eyes is just another black uniform wearing guy, only difference is his mask now.MOUTH ON SNAKE EYES. WTF. Is this to express emotion? Is this so he can talk? Eat? WTF? They gave Optimus Prime a mouth so that he could be "more emotive" WTF. We don't want MORE emotive, more emotive is less bad ass. Wake up hollywood!!!!!!!!!!
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This isn't X-Men or some other case where the director would assume the comic book costumes would look embarrassing on film. They're in the military. They could have just dressed them in military fatigues and gear and just called it a day. Cobra should look stylized but not the Joes. Stupid hack costume designers and art department. They're saving Destro and I bet he looks like shit on a stick.
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Or is it that my slight hangover has hampered me from seeing the satire in your first post?
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snake eyes does look rad though...i'll give them that. i hope this is good- because gi joe is hard to fuck up, dammit.
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If the idea is still to sell toys, then I believe that the generic uniforms will hurt toy sales. These characters all look the same. With no differentiation among the characters/toys, what is the big incentive to get multiple toys?
As an audience, why should we care if "generic black-leather guy #5" lives or dies? Transformers can be kind of cool in themselves because they are something you don't see every day. Commandos in black suits shooting guns? People can think of dozens of such movies without much effort.
As a nostalgia trip, taking away the distinct personae/outfits of the characters pretty much nullifies any relation to GI JOE in the first place. So the old-school fans don't have any basis to latch onto this "re-imagining."
Granted, this film reeked of suck from day one, but I am just not seeing the potential draw for ANY demographic and on ANY level.
PS - Stephen Sommers, your cover is blown. -
... where everyone wears black leather. Enjoy your Generic Global Military movie, guys & gals, I'm sure it's right up the alley of those that like that Big Robots Fighting Incoherently movie. No real fan of either franchise can be onboard with this shit.
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Oh, there certainly is a market for this crap -- it's called most of the film-going American public. You've already got name/brand recognition and it will probably be marketed the fuck out of. Mix that with the big budget action film nature of this movie and you will probably have a nice box office performance, unfortunately.
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the rest of the costumes/uniforms are generic black X-men/Batman Knock offs.The cool thing about GIJ was each team member had their own look and color scheme..in other words; they stood out among themselves!! Black uniforms in comic cinema is a tired trend.You can thank X-Men movies for that.
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No, forgot to mention my second post was the NON-sarcastic one.
Transformers the movie sucked. I think being as obvious as that is and being I said Transformers was an "amazing movie" the sarcasm probably won't be lost too much.
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Everything we've seen from this movie so far is bland, common and boring. Can't help but think this movie will be a box-office disaster.
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thats why you all are working for the movie industry..oh wait..your not are you? douche bags
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Well, there is quite a rabid fanbase for Transformers, especially on this site. So sometimes it's hard to detect sarcasm when referring to it.
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I am...
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Seriously...where the fuck is he? Is he even in the goddamn movie?
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..just wait till you see what Storm Shadow looks like..UGH!!Can you say "Emo prom date Ninja"??This project is doomed and will suck just like Bay's Transformers.Damn you Paramount.
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many of us are...
most people in the industry visit the site.
no its not my job to turn cartoons into live action movies but thats not to say anyone on this site couldn't do it better than this shit. at least by means of envisioning it. this is looking horrid. -
they look like starship trooper...what happened to the characters individuality????
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Jan 27, 2009 12:18:31 PM CST
This movie better be based on the comics..not the cartoon.
by fleshmachine
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its actually the same thing that made Transformers great. And the jumbled mess of tiny metal shards in the movie just made them all look the same...
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the cartoon was a secondary kiddie thing.
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The film to this link is good for a low budget fan flick. It screams a hell of a lot more like G.I. Joe than the craptistical coming this summer.
http://www.gijoefilm.com/ -
G.I. Joe is supposed to be fueled on nostalgia (retro Marvel). This generic shit looks like the dancing overture to a Victoria's Secret commercial. Just remake BUCK PRIVATES and be done with it (at least some dignity would be intact).
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Jan 27, 2009 12:27:44 PM CST
a GIJOE movie has such huge potential...so far this looks halfas
by fleshmachine
snakes eyes' back story...cobra cmdrs rise to power...such great material (the marvel comic that is, NOT THE CARTOON!!!) is it true that somewhere they say "knowing is half the battle"?>>>NOOOO!!!!! thats awful and a pretty good sign that this movie will completely miss the serious tone that it should have.
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The first poster ... what a fuckin ripoff! Oh, and nice tits on Scarlett. I'd bury my face in that.
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the plots and pathos in the Marvel series (to a point) was very SHAKESPEARE! sure it was fantastic...but there was a real sense of emotion and drama. has anyone here actually read the books??
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G.I. JOE (and TRANSFORMERS and HE-MAN) have fantastic character designs. If you can't get that part right, the movies are doomed from the start. It's a legitimate grip to not be able to tell one character from another, when they were so distinct and memorable in their original designs (that goes for the Transformers movie, too). Stop accepting the shit already and grow up. I'd imagine that if better movies were made of either franchise, the defenders of both would abandon them pretty quickly and not settle.
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Maybe it was created as a toy-selling promo, but the cartoon and the comic books went beyond that. That's why it's remained popular. The comic, in particular was mostly pretty good. If we can have a Batman movie considered for an Oscar, why can't we have a non-stupid G.I. Joe movie? It's my opinion that if a film maker/screen writer approaches a movie thinking, "it's just a fun popcorn movie. No need to take any of it seriously" then he is a poor excuse for either. Nothing says that you can't make a fun movie and still have some seriousness. If you look at something you're adapting and don't try to take the best of it while still making something new, you're a hack.
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Jan 27, 2009 12:33:57 PM CST
Rex Carsalot - Fucking classic! re: Frank Miller's Care Bears
by lamerz
Good shit,
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...that Cobra Commander will wear a "new mask" because the old one looked "too much like the Ku Klux Klan."
So what? Who fucking cares if it does? It was cool as fuckin hell.
I thought the bad guy was SUPPOSED to look like a bad guy.
Politically correct Hollywood bullshit if you ask me. -
If not, then suck-dom abounds.
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It's nice to see Snipes in this. Or not.
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if you're gonna rip something off DO IT RIGHT!
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Wikipedia is an authoritative source on movie news now? Oh, and I don't recall the Klan wearing anything remotely like Cobra Commander. Didn't he wear some mirrored (metal?) face mask with a helmet on the top.
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Jan 27, 2009 12:38:19 PM CST
So I'm an "idiot" for thinking Transformers was a fun movie?
by fleshmachine
I assure you I am not. But by all means continue spewing your holier-than-thou hyperbole & elitist bullshit.
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The one that was actually part snake or something. Fuck that guy.
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Maybe Baroness can lather her up.
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movie? seriously...
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Where are the interviews saying that the writers or director were big fans when they were a kid? They've already done their fan service by making Snake-Eyes look accurate and having Larry Hama as a consultant... Over the years, G.I. Joe and Transformers were always connected somehow. Out around the same time. Same people making the cartoons, same companies making the comics. Why not make the same mistakes in the G.I. Joe movie that they made with Transformers. They will also both have greenlit sequels because the large box office will assure the film makers that they did a great job...
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then you don't know GIJOE at all...the cartoon was a fun/silly kids show made to sell toys (rad toys)...but GIJOE IS FUNDAMENTALLY A MATURE COMIC BOOK SERIES. that IS Gijoe...all the other stuff is ancillary.
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Destro was the shit. You know he was hittin the Baroness.
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It looks like they just stole the costumes from Blade 2. I guess I don't care though, because I will be avoiding this like I avoided Transformers.
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Ohhhhhhhhh! No? Come on, you it had to be done!
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G.I.JINO!G.I.JINO!G.I.JINO! hehehehe!
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Nor will Roadblock or Gung-Ho, so lose the black spandex now
That said, this summer millions of 11-12 year old boys will "become men" by working it to images (mental or otherwise) of the baroness and scarlet. We know this, because that's essentially what we did -
Damn.
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At least one the first couple...
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This looks worse everytime something new comes out. Can't wait to see this shit. It's going to be hysterically bad.
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Who am I kidding?
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You know it.
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"He'll fight for tolerance where ever there's misunderstanding, GI JOE is there!!! GI JOE !!! A real global boarderless, racial diverse, sexually ambiguous, HERO, YEAH!!!! GI JOE IS THERE!!!! GI JOE!!!!!
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not Damon as some one mentioned above. Damon is worth watching(not in GI Joe), Marlon is a douche.
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What the fuck has that guy EVER done that was worthwhile??
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"...and how well the costumes look in shadowy cool they look."
Keats couldn't have said it better. -
THE ENTIRE concept around the classic 80's G.I Joe toys & comics that attracted most of us when we were kids was that each "soldier" had his or her own identity. The bad-ass thing about Snake Eyes was that he was the ONLY one dressed in an all black outfit with those mysterious visors. The cool thing about Gung-Ho was that he was a Marine Grunt, dressed in his green fatigues that didn't give a shit about covering his arms to expose his Semper Fi tattoo. Even William 'The Fridge" Perry had his basic military garb BUT had his own metal football as a weapon. Everyone was unique in one way or another - first and foremost starting with their uniform!! The problem I see already in selling US this movie is EVERYONE LOOKS LIKE A FUCKIN SNAKE EYES CLONE! Stephen Sommers, you piece of shit!!! You missed the point! THAT bad ass Snake Eyes outfit IS what made him almost everyone's favorite character. Making everyone look like Snake Eyes in the film will only detract people from seeing another one of your stupid movies because then all your characters loose their individuality, their identity. Don't you see...their unique clothing/outits IS what gave them that and what made the G.I Joe concept work and ALREADY you fucked THAT up! Some may argue that the Original G.I Joes (the 12 inch Dolls) were all dressed alike. And although true, I'm speaking of the 80's G.I Joe's which because of the aforementioned, made them even more successful on their second run. Stephen, you royally screwed up the Universal Monsters franchise by pretty much doing the same thing - making each monster cookie cutter and overwhelming the film with too many monsters on the screen at one time. I was never impressed by your lame Mummy movies either. Now, you're going to fuck up another potential franchise. Give up directing and leave the "classics" alone....please!!!
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Why fuckin bother if you ain't gonna do it right? *Cough* Knight Rider
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Not even a fucking patch with say an American, Canadian, French, Israeli, Britsh and Japanese mini flags on it?? GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!!! This Ameri-selfloathing bullshit has gotta stop. I hope this hunk of shit tanks fast!! After a string of America is such a big bad evil place films failing, they decide to make the most harmlessly patriotic escapist kid fare, GI FUCKING JOE, into another shame on being American film, complete with the gay muscle suits. Fuck this shit
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Which is still ten times better than what this piece of shit will actually be. Fucking WB stars and leftover batsuits.
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I can't deny that. That and the nostalgia factor... although as a fan I can still recognize that the cartoon sucked. Even as a kid it pissed me off that every time a plane blew up, the asshole pilot always parachuted miraculously out of the explosion.
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He deserved an Oscar for his part in Requiem for a Dream.
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red & blue lasers right? Oh and Snake Eyes is THE Boba Fett of GI Joe!
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FUCK YEAH THIS MOVIE IS GONNA FUCK OUR FACES!!!
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Any opportunity he had for an Oscar was immediately negated by starring in Dungeons and Dragons.
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What I just typed is the closest he'll ever get to it.
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Out of ideas. GI Joe USED to be about real soldiers and real gear, not Matrix style sci fi gym boy wanna be outfits. Count this one D.O.A.
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WAKE UP. Seriously. IT WAS A CARTOON. Of course the people are going to jump out of the planes at the last minute. OF COURSE noone expects that in a fucking live action movie. They expect: Unique characters, true to their original designs and character traits intact. ITS ABOUT THE CHARACTERS.
Noone expects there to be PSA at the end of the movie, noone expects that everytime a character shoots, he misses. Noone expects the story to be self contained in the one episode. Just as noone expected the guns to just appear in the ands of transformers. etc...etc...etc.. And you weren't a smart kid for recognizing that. You were a dumb kid for NOT REALIZING the only reason these things happened in the cartoon was because it was illegal for it to be more realistic in children's programming. -
Gayer than Shipwreck. Gayer than Gung Ho.
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Learn to spell before you insult my intelligence, faggot. Also, it wasn't 'illegal' for the show to kill people, because Robotech did it all the time. Stupid fuck.
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12" tall. Beard. Scar. Gay.
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I loved GI Joe as a kid but this movie looks bad and really all kinds of gayed up.
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spelling corrections... the rebuttal of a true simpleton.
Let's put it this way. the writers were NOT ALLOWED to kill people or they would be fired.
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What? It's not X-men? G.I. Joe?wow.
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Whatever the reason for people somehow surviving massive explosions, it sucks. I liked G.I. Joe, btw, but I hated that aspect of it, and I still do. I was SMART enough as a kid to recognize that people die in war. And I don't care if it was illegal or people would be fired, there were other cartoons that killed people.
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STOP MAKING THE SAME FILM OVER AND OVER AGAIN, HOLLYWOOD. WHAT'S NEXT? A "CITIZEN KANE" RE-BOOT WITH SOME HOT GIRLS IN TIGHT LYCRA BODYSUITS, HOLDING LARGE GUNS?
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Before GI Joe went all rainbow brite silly, everybody was green or brown -- pretty much military colors. I don't see why they couldn't have gone this route with their costumes/uniforms. All in black, everyone looks like Snake Eyes! *Yawn*
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...but the publicity for the film so far has been PANTS.
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epic fail... same goes for whomever the hell marlon wayans is supposed to be.
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Jan 27, 2009 2:09:10 PM CST
if i can't tell what the character's name/profession
by vaudeville villain
is simply by looking at them, then the studio has already ruined one of the greatest things about the toon. and i'm almost afraid to see what the other characters will look like. "so you say your name is alpine? hmmm... why do they call you that? i mean, you're not *wearing* goggles, a backpack w/ rope, etc. you're wearing all black... like every. one. else."
flames on optimus = fall '09 gap pants on snake eyes. -
just saying. looks like a stupid abercrombie + finch ski-wear catalog shoot. wtf is sienna miller doing in this pos.
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Stupid stupid stupid
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and he's a character people actually care about
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Because I remember there being a tapestry of colors in the TV show. Shit ever Transformers where coherent enough to get most of the colors right.
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Jan 27, 2009 2:26:56 PM CST
The more I think about this I fear it will be Team America World
by roborob
In the UK GI Joe was called Action Force and instead of all american good guys the team was multinational not this film is coming and the more I hear about it it looks and feels more like Team America 2. Lets us just hope they change the title before it goes straight to DVD everywhere outside the USA.
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Even the girls were unsexy in those posters. Jeez this is going to be a total dumpster fire..
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VV, I like the sound of that.
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The uniforms were less campy, but they had little things to let you know who each character was and their accessories coincided with their codename.
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I won't be holding my breath for this one. Even the posters look a bit silly. I can understand the idea of not wanting to use the original costume designs in a live action movie. They would look ridiculous. But they've ditched them in favor of costumes that are ridiculous for different reasons, which makes no sense. If they are a military organization, then have them wear military uniforms/costumes. But for cryin' out loud, don't give them hand me downs from X-Men 3. :|
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Jan 27, 2009 2:35:48 PM CST
Dull black GI JOE costumes= Flames on Optimus Prime= Nipples on
by outlaw
Just sayin'...
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http://movies.myspace.com/ along with the others
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Don't Make You Stronger. Latex can't stop bullets. Always aim for the head, anyways. Ray Parks= The Only Good Thing In This Movie. Yo Joe!
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In The Movie. Black Leather and Latex is The New Gay White.
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Jan 27, 2009 2:53:59 PM CST
You people think Wolverine looks like shit and THIS IS GOOD?!!!
by tallboy66
I officially don't understand any of you people. This. Looks. Like. Ass. (I may watch this film so I can pleasure myself to Rachel Nichols.)
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gi joe article
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That was a heap of shit. This looks like another heap of shit.
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"He'll fight for tolerance where ever there's misunderstanding, GI JOE is there!!! GI JOE !!! A real global boarderless, racial diverse, sexually ambiguous, HERO, YEAH!!!! GI JOE IS THERE!!!! GI JOE!!!!!
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Nobody in here said it looks good. It looks like shit covered in burnt hair.
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Or should I say another teen comedy with the funny secret agent, a little action here and there and a whole lot of stupid.
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I always thought GI Joe was lame.
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about its character integrity, Hugh Jackman would've made a brilliant Tomax/Xamot.
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but they don't have the proper UN mandate so the just WATCH when kids are raped and shot - just like the real thing.
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but the rest suck butthole.
i bet they won't even have Destro have a black-guy's voice.
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Jan 27, 2009 4:25:22 PM CST
So this is what Bruce & Lucius do with all the spare BatSuits
by brianinsider
What's unique about the Baroness when every one of the JOE's dresses like her?
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I was-sss once-sss a man...
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That's right, boys. Sienna Miller AKA Baroness totally, totally nude from every angle.
http://tinyurl.com/dl6p4j -
"7/8 of a Poster, 100% Suck"
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Because Avatar is actually an ORIGINAL FUCKING IDEA!!!It's not based on a toy, a comic book, a novel or a tv show and is not a remake, reimagining, refitting of or sequel to another movie.Unfortunately, this will still make a truck load of money at the cinema, because it will be on multiple screens in every multiplex and have a nice fat summer weekend all to itself. The idiots who run the show will see a big long number in the "profit" column for this film and immediately make a sequel, so that'll be another $100 million taken out of the hands of intelligent, creative filmmakers and into the hands of an obnoxious hack to churn out more shit we've seen before.Not that I am against adaptations as a whole, as we all know there have been plenty of very good ones (No Country, There Will Be Blood and Jesse James were all adaptations of books and let's not forget TDK!). However, let's not kid ourselves that a film based on a toy from the director of the Mummy films is going to be anything special.To anyone who says something like "But it'll be a fun film!", yes it will, but if your standards were set a bit higher then Hollywood would have no choice but to raise its standards in response.Even ignoring other worthy causes outside of the cinema (let's face it, there are simply too many), $100 million could be spent on a work of cinematic art that would stand the test of time for decades, maybe even centuries. Instead $100 million will be spent on a forgettable piece of shit, because people are happy to have shit forced down their throat.Sorry to rant, but sometimes these things need to be said
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...after the Super Bowl. But if this is any indication, I'd just assume save my cash.
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With the top of the heads cut off and everything.
Oh, last poster...tits and ass galore. WTF? How cheezy and gaudy can it get? -
so many are bashing this based simply on the costumes, but had they been wearing similar or exact stuff then their cartoon counterparts, every one would be like "oh i have faith" or "i'll give it a shot" or the most typical "that's spot on". maybe the trailers will show that it truly is a terrible movie but its just funny seeing opinions formed on what they wear. kinda reminds of me x-men and apparently those first two movies turned out fine despite the costume changes.
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I'm telling you, they gave him fuckin lips and you're going to be pissed when you see them.
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And this does nothing for me. It's not raping my childhood or any of that. It's simply not GI Joe. It's a bland, black-and-white action movie, probably with lots of slo-mo wire-fu, that has some GI Joe names for the characters.
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...I'd like to see more of Destro, and Disney almost ruined, er made "Sailor Moon". I was against it as they were going to set it in Cali. I know there's a Jp. district in L.A., but I don't think that there'd be a shinto shrine for Raye to live in.
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but odds are the movie will blow
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Anything that keeps Marlon away from doing another special effects abusing movie is 100% okay with me.
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poster 1: Splinter Cell. poster 2: Iron Monkey 2010. poster 3: Blood Rayne:The non-Uwe Boll Edition. poster 4: Blade's Gonna Git U Sucka. poster 5: Entrapment 2:The Man Stealing Nanny
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those posters look like something out of a Victoria's Secret catalogue. they look uber-gay.
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I'm pretty sure that a Victoria Secrets catalog could be considered many things BUT 'gay'. Unless you're a chick.
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and knowing is half the battle
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it should appear as manly army stuff not american idol, pop star awards crap, best dancer fag shit
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Storm Shadow because the know how gay he looks> If you guys haven't seen him he has the tuxedo like flaps on the back. He looks like he lost his job at Cobra and he had to get a job as a bathroom attendant and he turns around so the fellas can dry their hands on his flaps. You have to see the pick and you'll know what i mean.
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animated reboot -- G.I. Joe: Resolute -- is where it's at. And I'm surprised, as I'd thought Ellis would've turned his nose up at the property.Interesting that the new Joe and Transformer 'toons are superior to their live-action counterparts.
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Characters bodies dressed in same costumes standing with their heads cut off. What a waste of paper and ink!
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bad bad bad and gay
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Not a Special NEEDs Team, do don't make them look so fucking retarded.
Ever since Matrix, everyone has said "black leather = cool." This proves otherwise.
The are a military special forces team, like Delta Force or DEVGRU or SAS, make them at least look like soldiers and not backup dancers from a Britney Spears concert. -
till we get an image of Cobra Commander. That'll be a geeky trip...although I just don't see this movie being cool with the current fashion direction.
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Is he truly going to be Gung Ho? I have got to see that. I like the guy, but how the fuck is he gonna pull off a cajun marine? I hope it's as amusing as it sounds.
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how can the producers of this film miss the mark so incredibly much when it comes to design. 80's G.I. Joe was so much an assemble-the-team type of show, and it would never have worked if the whole team was comprised of black spandex clad soldiers with swords and guns. It was the colorful costumes and personalities and unique assortments of weapons and gear that made the characters interesting. Those posters sap all the fun out of it. I know they can't have characters fighting battles wearing the bright outlandish costumes from the cartoon, but at least you could use them as some kind of inspiration for something more exciting than black spandex.
Which, btw, was one of the huge strikes against Transformers. The movie executed the basic premise well enough (transforming robots fighting each other), but zapped the characters of any visual distinctiveness or personality. -
Sienna's ass is the only selling point however.
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She wore what looked like black leather or something. Fuckin get them some military uniforms or something at least. This shit looks fuckin stupid except for the TITS AND ASS.
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Fuck the rest of the movie. They shoulda got BAY for this shit.
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That bitch was right up in his wheel-house. Fuckin Stephen Sommers? What the fuck has that guy ever done?
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Thought I read soemthing about that. Now that would be a flick worth seeing. DAAAAMN
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too big im afraid and dont u hate it when they do that. when they photo a chick from behind like that while shes looking backwards with a gun or something, its so bad. its like trying to say "hey im badass girl who also happens to have a big ass; my gun is for killing but my ass of for playin"
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what arent they americans? i thought GIJOE was about america?
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I know he was hired on as an advisor, but did they LISTEN to him? Because I can't see him suggesting this shit.
As others have mentioned, the Joes are a team of individuals with their own MOS and each wore a distinctive uniform (although camouflage was a common element). -
PC bullshit. Americans aren't allowed to be heros. We are the fuckin villians now.
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the one where Snake Eyes, near death, got lost in the blizzardy mountains and was saved by a wolf who took him to a blind Mountain Man with magical healing powers. The best part of that was when the Magical Mountain Man made some reference to Snake Eyes being terribly hurt, scarred, and unable to speak (hence wearing the mask). Then the blind Magical Mountain Man said some kind of profound wise old man shit at him and sent him on his way. I loved that when I was a kid.
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Oh, wait ...
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Bush/Cheney made it so. But, thankfully, Obama is setting us back on track. The world already loves us because of him; at least the symbol he represents; a World Symbol. Bush was only a symbol of ignorant, incompetent redneck fascists; which, of course, his administration turned out to be.
Oh, and, btw, international cooperation is the way to go, and where we're headed. No more unilateralism. Its what the vast majority of EVERYONE ON EARTH wants. Hence it is no longer about American heroes only; rather, Global Heroes.
Finally, they also have to sell the thing to other countries that, *gasp* AREN'T AMERICAN! (It's true! Theres a TON of 'em!) Why are all you psycho Uber NeoCons so friggin' sensitive about this shit? Man up. -
But you still can have them be part of the American Armed Forces. I mean, I don't care about jingoism, but I do like to see them depicted as they were in the comic: as an American Special Forces Team even more elite than Delta Force or SEAL Team 6.
And maybe have them meet a new October Guard. That would be cool! -
because you brought Resolute to my attention, I found a blog post by Ellis and it sounded like he almost did thumb his nose. Funny how he admitted not having any love or knowledge of the property, yet this hour long micro series looks fantastic and more "loyal" then what Hollywood can come up with. Cause you just know all these hack Directors are just huge "Fans" of everything they adapt.
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wish there was more color though.
I hope STAR TREK makes using color cool again. -
Where's the individuality?? Everyone looks the same. The added coolness factor of the original GI Joe cartoon/toys was the range in their outfits. Everything I've heard about this movie blows ass
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This is NOT G.I. JOE!!!
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Is King Cobra!
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Except for Bazooka with his football jersey, and Chuckles, the undercover guy who looked like David Coulier in a Hawaiian shirt. They wore a variety of outfits, but all drab military colors.
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When Cobra made him think he'd lost his memory and he had captured Cobra Commander and was married to the mermaid chick, then all the other Joes started melting. LOL @ Roadblock coming out of the carwash: "Sure was toasty in there!" Blorp!
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it seemed like they thought people outside of the US would be so enraged and disgusted by a stephen sommer's action movie.
Its not like politics would be a relevant topic with this movie one way or another. -
I like the leather-covered tits however. I mean, that is one sweet shot.
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...have 6 Action Force posters. Fuck yeah, Action Force!
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people don't want a bunch of homosexual initiation loving, credit for WW2 taking, torturing for fun cuntflaps to be the main attraction.
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I'll go see this. Of course I will.
But that doesn't stop my sphincter from pinching closed. Tighter, tighter, wriggling away from this horrible cock that just seems to get bigger and uglier the closer it comes, and no matter how hard I constrict, it's going to fuck me in the ass. This big ugly cock of a movie is going to rip me open and rape my childhood.
But of course I'll go see it. Can I call it rape if I lay my money down? That makes me the whore who was askin' for it.
I agree completely with other posters. THIS looks amazing:
http://tinyurl.com/6c fewn -
Do movies based on comics or cartoons feel they have to strip all the color out of the outfits or costumes? MAKE IT BLACK. That's the answer every time.
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that doesn't suck llama cock?
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These costumes make no sense. They don't line up w/ the show at all, they don't look cool, and they are very unrealistic. GI Joe is supposed to be a tactical counter terrorism team...I am in the military on a tactical team and what they are wearing makes no sense at all. This movie should be an easy hole in one... Super badass Spec Ops team. Crazy sci fi ish terrorist org. It writes itself almost. And Duke is too young, he should be mid 30's. He's supposed to be an E-8 experienced operator who runs the whole team. i.e. not 27 years old. sigh.
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This is one of funniest talkbacks ever! I can't top the comments so won't try. This movies is going to be so bad it may well go full circle and be hilarious and worth $9.
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BECAUSE I DON'T THINK ANYONE HAS MADE SUCH HONEST AND PERTINENT REMARKS ON THIS FORUM IN THE PAST FEW WEEKS:
QUOTE: "Because Avatar is actually an ORIGINAL FUCKING IDEA!!!
It's not based on a toy, a comic book, a novel or a tv show and is not a remake, reimagining, refitting of or sequel to another movie.
Unfortunately, this will still make a truck load of money at the cinema, because it will be on multiple screens in every multiplex and have a nice fat summer weekend all to itself. The idiots who run the show will see a big long number in the "profit" column for this film and immediately make a sequel, so that'll be another $100 million taken out of the hands of intelligent, creative filmmakers and into the hands of an obnoxious hack to churn out more shit we've seen before.
Not that I am against adaptations as a whole, as we all know there have been plenty of very good ones (No Country, There Will Be Blood and Jesse James were all adaptations of books and let's not forget TDK!). However, let's not kid ourselves that a film based on a toy from the director of the Mummy films is going to be anything special.
To anyone who says something like "But it'll be a fun film!", yes it will, but if your standards were set a bit higher then Hollywood would have no choice but to raise its standards in response.
Even ignoring other worthy causes outside of the cinema (let's face it, there are simply too many), $100 million could be spent on a work of cinematic art that would stand the test of time for decades, maybe even centuries. Instead $100 million will be spent on a forgettable piece of shit, because people are happy to have shit forced down their throat.
Sorry to rant, but sometimes these things need to be said" -
going to the optometrist cosplay: http://tinyurl.com/3fffg8
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I'm just not into teenie PG-13 bullshit.
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Really.
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1.Blade2.Neo3.Pinhead (from the Hellraiser Movies)4.Batmanand of course....5.Darth-Fucking-Vader!Suck it Sommers!
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"Kiss my Black ass"!:P
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(Sorry, her mouth is full now, she'll let you know later.)
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That is all.
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http://handofmessi.blogspot.com/
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Yeah, like an original piece is automatically better than an adaptation.
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" Aw, hell JOE ! "
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Did you just mock one of the Bad Boys for lifes?
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Cause if you did... AW HEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLL NAWWWWWWWWWWW
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Martin Lawrence will be ringing your doorbell any second. Ignore the racial slurs, he's harmless.
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I mean asking for a bottle of water. Don't give him any.
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Valid points raised above. To newcomers, you wouldn't know which of these characters is on whose side but for the goofy little eagle and snake logos at the bottom. Because they're all wearing stuff from Baroness' closet
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Wow, that's a lotta suck
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http://tinyurl.com/crqqqf
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sauce.
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...that embodies the highest skill, most technological weapons, and the spirit of american perserverance...THIS is the movie poster for THAT movie...deeds not words, bitches!
http://tinyurl.com/cldnvw -
if they were adverts for a softcore porn about a military strike force where everyone like, DOES each other
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G.I. Joe versus Cum Squad?
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"Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, JOE!!"
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defeat Cobtra in those outfits anyway? Make 'em cringe to death?
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What's he doing in GIJOE? I believe it's called, "cashing a big check". I wouldn't doubt he has a house in mind, and this flick probably pays for it. Besides, all the super good reviews coming in for 500 DAYS OF SUMMER, which is also coming out during the Summer season, indicates he'll be washing away the smell of a paycheck movie with a good flick. I wouldn't be surprised if SUMMER is a huge hit for him as well. It could be another When Harry Met Sally.
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Many thanks for the quoting.I get the impression that not too many of these talkbackers are actually going to watch this nonsense, so the words have fallen on mostly receptive ears, but it's always nice to have someone agree with you
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I don't mind Flint wearing the Batman armor, but Lady Jane lost her brazen redheaded appeal, Baronness lost her dominant mistress appeal, and I never knew Snake Eyes to be topless.
I mean, yeah, it wasn't a great cartoon and I'm not expecting much, but they could've at least looked the part... -
Moe: That is the stupidest name I ever heard. Man cries. Runs out of Moe's Tarvern. Barney: JOEY JOE JOE?
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Whoever said that an original piece is "automatically" better than an adaptation? Don't read into the words meanings that aren't there, especially when they're my words being quoted by somebody else!Please note the four films quoted. Possibly the four best films released in the last few years and ALL adaptations of one kind or another. Ask anyone to compile their personal top ten and half - if not more - would be adaptations.However, there HAS to be a line drawn somewhere. Adapting a novel full of richly drawn characters and suspenseful plot twists is one thing. Adapting a line of children's toys into a summer action movie is something totally different. It's not like there was a well defined and compelling story within the GI Joe universe that needed telling. It's just using the name (but not even the look!) of GI Joe to sell a bunch of tickets to people who will watch it JUST BECAUSE IT'S GI JOE, therefore putting more money into the coffers of people who are already rich beyond measure.In the meantime, Terry Gilliam's adaptation of Don Quixote - one of the greatest novels of all time - falls apart because he can't get any money. Why? Because it's being spent on crap like this.
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For the sake of argument Let's pretend these costumes are cool. Ok maybe. But they aren't gi joe worthy. Get creative. Show some color. Iron man did it so can you.
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Yes, because crap like this sells. Adaptations... originals... it is irrelevent. If people want Don Quixote to be made, they have to let the studios know that they would watch it in bulk. But the honest truth is that a film like that - regardless of quality - would hit a roadblock at $10 domestic. I'm paraphrasing William Goldman here, but he raised the good point that independant films can be made by anyone... just don't throw in a car chase and action scenes because no-one will give you that kind of money.
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Making an adaptation of an admittedly crummy toy line is not the first thing I'd stand in line to see, but that's no excuse for a director or studio not to put in effort and make a GOOD movie. Want the biggest example? I give you the first PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN. The public had zero expectation for a movie based on a friggin' theme park ride. And yet, between the script, the brisk direction and Depp's iconic performance as Jack Sparrow, the public went back to see it again and again, recommending it to friends and family.
It sucks that Gilliam can't get Quixote made; but that's the business he chose to be in. The market will rule out and determine the subjects of movies. But it's incumbent on people like Gilliam to make an entertaining but GOOD movie, no matter the source material. -
Be-yew! Be-yew! Buh-beyew! Be-yew! Be-yew!
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OLEG!
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Jan 28, 2009 10:51:29 AM CST
I'm surprised nobody has mentioned G.I. Jane yet....
by motoko kusanagi
But then again, hopefully nobody watched that crap.
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Is it AVATAR, fucking his eyeball?
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I'm guessing it's because of the new Friday the 13th, comes out next month
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or bloody valentine which ever it was he has geek love for
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I've never heard of the fucking thing. Sounds shit.
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ah, I didn't know they had changed the team to an international hybrid...which is just insulting, but so are the costumes, casting and director so its no surprise to hear that. Thanks for clearing it up.
Too bad man. GI Joe could have beena really cool an fun movie instead of some generic money grab. Expect lots of military mumbojumbo talk between on men in a pathetic attempt to dramatize everything. Also, i keep hearing TDK score in my head when I look at these posters... must be the gray backgrounds and embers.
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yeah i know of the 92F being used but I was refering to the rifles. I'm certainly not beating my chest saying the US military SHOULD use some wacky "Made in USA" gun. I couldn't care less either way. Shit, I'll be the first to tell you the M16 is one of the cheapest and most problematic rifles ever, I'm just saying that the lack of detail is astonishing. But thanks for addressing the problem. And yeah, the US should switch to H&K.
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what black widow should look like in avengers
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It works.
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more like COBRA LOLOLOLOL
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Bomb, Dud, Failure, Flop, Stinker
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thought maybe it would reach Transformer TB like proportions...oh well, like Johnny said "Flame On!"
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Mr ZeddemoreYou raise the most valid of all points, that crap like this sells. This is as much (if not more) an indictment of the movie-going public as it is of the moviemakers themselves. Unfortunately we all know that there's nothing the humble geek with a brain can really do about this, so our only recourse is the anonymous bitching of a talkback.Orbots CommanderPOTC is, of course, the exception that proves the rule and a wonderful film. However, can you HONESTLY look me in the eyes (metaphorically, of course) and say that you expect the same kind of experience out of THIS movie?Gore Verbinski had never made a major summer film prior to POTC, making his name with smaller, more character based films, so it was really his first chance to show what he was capable of. Johnny Depp, meanwhile, had always been a quality character actor who was finally given a major, high profile role and siezed it with both hands.Stephen Sommers, on the other hand, has made several summer action movies in his career, all with broadly the same qualities (decent-ish FX, some nice set pieces, light, vaguely comedic touch) and problems (one-note characters, almost caricatures, plots that are both basic and unnecessarily convoluted, little or no genuine emotional investment), and I have yet to see a reason to expect anything except more of the same. As far as the cast goes, there is no name there that really leaps out as being able to make a Depp-in-POTC type impact, nor really a part in which such impact could be made.I would also argue that POTC was utterly unique in the adaptation stakes, as it is basically an adaptation of a NAME. Let's face it, there are no characters in the ride, nor is there any story, just a series of comedic vignettes detailing pirate life. Therefore the filmmakers had almost total freedom to make up any story they wanted, based on hundreds of years of pirate folklore. The fact that a supernatural element was then added further increased their storytelling possibilities.GI Joe, on the other hand, has a number of serious limitations to an adaptation. First of all, the premise is pretty much set in stone (special force of military types battle evil criminal mastermind with his own henchmen) and is severely limiting in terms of what can be done. Let's face it, you know the bad guy will hatch a diabolical plan, get almost to the brink of victory then the good guys will win, while the bad guy himself survives for another adventure next time. It's as basic as storytelling can get!Secondly, the filmmakers are stuck with a series of recognisable characters they have to use or else it's not GI Joe and, let's face it, we're not talking about richly drawn and deep bits of characterisation here, we're talking about TOYS. Little plastic men with their entire backstory - and in fact entire character - contained in one small paragraph on the back of the original packaging. They are at best archetypes and at worst utterly one-dimensional cardboard cut-outs.The difference is nobody knew what to expect from POTC, which is why everyone (myself included) was so pleasantly surprised. This, on the other hand, we know EXACTLY what to expect. Big explosions, sexy ladies and cackling villans. All well and good, but the problem is we've seen it all before, literally hundreds of times. A movie like POTC raises the bar. This sort of movie refuses to even acknowledge that there IS a bar and doesn't even try to jump. It merely strolls merrily under it.
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The source material for GIJOE is pop culture junk: a Hasbro toy line and poorly animated cartoon. Agreed.
Where I disagree is that I think Sommers is/was as free to riff on this property as Verbinski was with POTC. There aren't any dedicated fans, serious minded ones anyway, who'd object to the filmmakers diverging from JOE 'canon' (LOL!!!) and creating a totally new storyline with unique characters. Due to the source material, Sommers could have made a gee-whiz entertaining Raiders-like modern day swashbuckler, just as fun PIRATES. Of course, I'm guessing the final result is ass, as evidenced with the casting (Marlon Wayans???). The only hope for any kind of screen presence or for an actual performance is likely to come from the kid...Levitt as Cobra Commander. The guy's talented and he'll likely be a huge Tom Hanks-like movie star someday. -
He's one of my favorite characters in anything ANYWHERE. They better give him a ruined face...destroyed vocal chords...and make him the BADASS THAT HE IS.
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comic book written by Larry Hama, who did a bang up job considering Hasbro screwed his original engaging tales later by flooding the line with too many, and too ridiculous characters.
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If you are refering to the 2nd season of the animated series, you're dead on. (The shitty 1990 DIC series does not count.)However the Miniseries and even the Movie had good to decent animation which was handled by Japanese animators..you know, the guys that were responsible for Mighty Orbots. :P
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I know this might sound weird, but I disagree with you when you say that you disagree with me! You recognise that the licence is "junk" and certainly have low expectations for this film. Your one positive comment seems to be that it MIGHT be good.Well, that's my whole point! The entire choice of GI sodding Joe as your starting point for a $100 million movie can only EVER be dictated by financial reasons. There was no story that needed to be told, no captivating and complex characters waiting to be explored. It is simply a case of the studio hoping that brand recognition will give them that all important opening weekend, make some profit and lead to that money-making francise. It's only saving grace is that somehow the filmmakers MIGHT make a good movie from all of this, but we both seem to agree that's a long shot.
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Is it just me or do the choices of actors and actresses suck. especially Sienna 'plain as f**k' Miller as the baroness... poor choice IMO
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You know Disney was praying for that shit to hit big, and when it did, they made sure to milk it with merchandising on par with their original Disney characters.
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No, I did not know that. Very interesting about the animation company. Anyway, my sig is just a tip of the hat, tongue-firmly-in-cheek nostalgia for something from my childhood TV watching. It doesn't mean I'm breathlessly waiting for an adaptation of Mighty Orbots. In fact, I'd dread it. It would make a terrible movie. The premise was just as junky as anything else from Saturday Morning. Though I did enjoy those mornings around the TV with a giant bowl of Lucky Charms or Fruit Loops, waiting for Thundarr the Barbarian or Spider-man and His Amazing Friends to come on.
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This I command!
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