Beaks here...

Look, I haven't watched a televised professional wrestling event since the WWF unceremoniously retired Uncle Elmer (technically, the most skilled grappler the sport has ever seen), but you don't have to be a die-hard to appreciate the potential splendor of an Academy Award-winning actor parlaying his Oscar into a top-of-the-marquee showdown at Wrestlemania. If only Fredric March had been so forward-thinking...

There will be (probably already are) those who claim that Mickey Rourke has irreparably harmed his Best Actor campaign by revealing at Sunday's SAG Awards that he has accepted Vince McMahon's offer to get it on in the squared circle with former WWE Champion Chris Jehricho (see the video embedded below). While these people are entitled to their opinions, it is important to note that they are morons, and that I would like to body slam all of them.

First question: Would Rourke be appearing as Rourke or as Randy "The Ram" Robinson? Second question: Shouldn't an offer also be extended to the eventual Best Actress winner (especially since it looks like it'll be Anne Hathaway)? Finally: If Rourke wins and proceeds to trash-talk Jericho from the stage of the Kodak Theater, wouldn't that make up for THE DARK KNIGHT's Best Picture snub?

Of course it would. And if we could get Al Pacino throwing down with Lord Littlebrook...?

The 81st Academy Awards will be held on February 22nd. Wrestlemania 25 happens on April 5, 2009.