Hola all. Massawyrm here.

To say that Underworld: Rise of the Lycans is a GOOD movie would be a misstatement. Let’s just get that out of the way right now. It is not a very good movie at all, actually. What would be true however is to say that I kind of liked it anyway. Despite itself. You see, I loathe the previous Underworld films. It is a series that borrows HEAVILY from other works and gives absolutely nothing back to the mythos or the genre. What neat ideas it has were stolen whole heartedly from the White Wolf series of games The World of Darkness without seeming to understand for a minute what any of it was about. The movies slapped “vampires” and “werewolves” together like an 8 year old slamming two GI Joes in their backyard – but it never once felt like either a vampire or a werewolf film.

They are comic book movies. And bad ones at that.

The Vampires were merely really pretension, power hungry assholes who could jump off of buildings REEEEEEEAAAAAALLLLLYYYYY SLLLLLlllooooooowwww and hang out on the ceiling and the werewolves were bare chested euro-trash who would occasionally turn big and furry. And while the second film tried desperately to repair the ills of the first film, neither possessed a plot that was even remotely interesting. But this film, the third in the series, is actually so radically different from the first two that it is easy to detach yourself from your dislike of them and see it as its own, distinct beast.

First, and most important to the film, is that Len Wiseman didn’t direct it. And while director Patrick Tatopoulos seems to be trying desperately to ape Wiseman’s soulless, listless style – he can’t. And soul shows through. This film, while looking as drab and dismal as the previous efforts, actually has a beating heart that lets you care about its characters and situations…for the most part. Secondly, this is a prequel, populated by returning minor characters or villains. Normally this kind of thing bugs the shit out of me, except that the two major players returning for the film are Michael Sheen and Bill Nighy. Finally, it takes place in the dark ages – making this less a modern horror superhero film and more of a low rent fantasy film. And all of these elements work together in one way or another to improve the series beyond the limitations of its predecessors.

While the film isn’t really anything very new or original, setting this story in a castle what appears to be almost a millennia ago really works. It’s a cheap, easy fantasy film with the vampiric powers and curse of lycanthropy taking the place of magic. And what feels terribly out of place in our world isn’t so out of place in a medieval setting. There’s still the same problem of almost every being appearing in the films actually being either supernatural with not a normal person in sight (most of the time) but in an era where it was very easy to be isolated and shroud yourself in mystery, it becomes a tad bid less obnoxious.

But the film rests almost entirely upon the shoulders of Rhona Mitra, Michael Sheen and Bill Nighy, all of whom are incredibly talented and work very well together. Each of these folks are more than capable of handling the cheesy, often pompous dialog given them and turning it into something believable. And while I will never say it is emotionally gripping enough to pull you all the way in, it is enough to keep your interest despite the glaring, occasionally distracting flaws with the film.

The film’s biggest crutch is its adherence to the look of Len Wiseman’s style-over-substance approach to parts 1 and 2. Almost every color in this film is ridiculously some shade of blue. Drenched in some unnatural form of permanent twilight, the blues get really old really quick. Add to that the stunningly awful cinematography that consists of switching between close ups and medium shots, and you end up with a dull claustrophobic palate that never lets you really look at any one thing long enough to make out what it is. This unfortunately carries over to the action scenes, many of which become confusing cluster fucks of editing that seem to be trying to conceal either too low a budget or the lack of training on the part of the combatants. This isn’t that quick cut JASON BOURNE style of fight. This is that made for television “kung fu without actually knowing kung fu” style.

But it’s the story that keeps letting you get past all that. Essentially it is the origin of the Lycans as a free race. Lucian (Michael Sheen) is the most gifted and the talented of the slave race lycans and the personal favorite and protector of the eldest vampire, Viktor (Bill Nighy.) However, Viktor’s daughter (Rhona Mitra) is in love with the cursed being. Lucian slowly gains followers working as a slave, finally has enough of the vampires shit and decides to revolt, becoming the Spartacus/William Wallace/Maximus of the werewolves. That builds to a giant third act fight which is actually pretty cool, with hordes of werewolves swarming a castle full of vampires.

While it is still not much of a vampire movie, the elements they introduce work very well as cheesy fantasy and can easily be enjoyed on that level. It reminded me of scads of 80’s fantasy films that I loved as a kid and enjoy for their camp value now. High art this isn’t, but the high grade actors spin gold out of shit and make what I consider to be easily the most enjoyable of a fairly miserable series. I in no way truly endorse seeing this, as the flaws it has are pretty rough and are only modestly trumped by what the movie has going for it – but if you’re a fan of the series or have relations with someone who is, then you could do a lot worse right now that seeing this. There’s even a great flashback (forward) to the first film, tying this entire film into that one, a scene I think fans will really dig the shit out of.

I’ll give the creators credit for one thing – their mythology seems to hold up. They went back to the previous stories and show us things that were only mentioned previously. Then they wrap it all back around, encouraging you to revisit the previous films for a better understanding of them. I have a strong inclination that I won’t be doing that any time soon. But fans might, and they might be getting more out of it. It would appear they’ve made a movie that improves the series, however slight that improvement might be. And that’s something.

Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em.

Massawyrm

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