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This CRANK 2 Trailer Description Is Different From The CRANK 2 Trailer They Don't Want You To See (Which Is Here, For Now...)!!
Merrick here...
Frizz sent in a message to tell us that trailer for CRANK 2: HIGH VOLTAGE are apparently going out with MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D this Friday. He provided this description of the trailer:
The trailer begins with the end of the first Crank movie with the helicopter fight and plummet to the street, and then all of a sudden a van full of Asians pull up and scoop Chev (Jason Statham) off the pavement with a snow shovel. Then it cuts to an operating room where they are implanting a mechanical heart of some sorts. Frank wakes up and knocks out everyone in the room, then calls Doc Miles (Dwight Yokam) and the doctor says he only has an hour of battery life in his heart, but if he can keep himself electrically charged then Doc might be able to operate and put his real heart back in.
Then a montage of shots ensues, including Chev rubbing up on people in the street to create static electricity (including an elderly woman), and even going to the extreme of clamping jumper cables to his chest. At the conclusion of the trailer he grabs a power transformer with great force. It looks to be as, if not more, entertaining than the first film.
Now, this differs a bit from a long form trailer (maybe it's a marketing reel?) that's been repeatedly showing up on the Net, only to be summarily disappeared by The Powers That Be.
BELOW: an embed of said material, which is grindhouseishly R rated & decidedly NOT SUITABLE FOR WORK. It'll likely be banished quickly, so see it while it lasts. It's weird.
Then a montage of shots ensues, including Chev rubbing up on people in the street to create static electricity (including an elderly woman), and even going to the extreme of clamping jumper cables to his chest. At the conclusion of the trailer he grabs a power transformer with great force. It looks to be as, if not more, entertaining than the first film.
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If you go OTT, go good OTT!
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how's this possible
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I bet I missed first because I actually watched the trailer... which was crap - just like the first movie.
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DAMN YOU MICHAEL BAY!!!
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Jason Statham busting heads at frenetic speeds? Amy Smart as a sexy stripper and public carnal action?
I want to see this movie! -
Did the 1st movie really warrant a..what looks to be at best...a direct to DVD sequel?!
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seriously...where do I sign up?
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Jan 15, 2009 11:42:35 AM CST
FUCK AVATAR!! CRANK 2 WILL FUCK YOU IN THE ASS!!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Oh shi
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Did I see Bai Ling and Jenna Haze in there? This movie is ridiculous. Ridiculously awesome.
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why not just call this movie "LOTS OF GRATUITOUS SEX"
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I don't care about this movie, I don't care if I never ever fucking see it. Fuck you people that give half a shit about this crap... and it IS crap by the way.
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You homosapiens and your GUNS!!
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thats what this trailer looks like
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Shit,fuck, that was fucking hot, you bitch
Now, honestly, I alway thought the firtst Crank, more than jut one freakishingly adrenaline-pumped movie, it was also somewhat subversive in its approach that "you have to grab the moment you're living right NOW by its fucking BALLS, and, for fuck sake, FUCK THE REST, as expressed not only throughout the whole movie, but specially in the public fornication scene ("I'm fucking alive!!!"). If they can keep the momentum in Crank 2, I´ll say right now, make Crank 3 fast, because I wanna by the deluxe trilogy DVD set...
fuck yeah... -
nice!
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Freedom is zee only way, ja?
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Bring it now!
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is a facking cant.
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Wow.
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...finally...a B movie with some fucking BALLS.
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Crank 1 was a ridiculous video game of a parody of the action genre and what it is now. Its only problem was its willingness to engage in trendy visuals. I really dig the stripped down approach to this film. As someone else said, it looks DTV, but it also looks vulgar, harsh, kinetic, and violent. If your idea of an action movie is fucking Iron Man, I guess you wouldn't dig this. If your idea of an action movie is Invasion U.S.A. or those great dirty 70's crime pics, then I think you'll get it.
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Needs more 'splosions!!
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Jan 15, 2009 12:16:25 PM CST
Not since Election Night have I felt so uplifted....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Jason Statham realizes its time to CHANGE the way we look at films. No more pussy ass big budget motherfucking CG/3D gimmick spectacle. Give me tits, pussy, violence, loud music, shaky cam, and some motherfucking balls. But those high priced cocksuckers like James Cameron out of fucking business. Make every film for less than 20 million and get fucking creative!
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Statham has talent and he wastes it on shit like this. Unreal.
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this redband trailer has been up for awhile...big deal
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He was all over this last time. He pisses on every quality piece of filmmaking that comes out these days, but then gets hyped up for this. What an unbelievable douchebag. But I guess he's 'our' unbelieveable douchebag. Like the runt of the litter who's cuter than all of the rest, and he's really your favorite. I just want to give this bastard a hug.
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& I'd be right there with them. This actor gets into some seriously goofy movies!
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Cheap to make. Makes piles of $$$. Plus it's awesome.
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Jan 15, 2009 12:25:51 PM CST
Looks as shit as the first one.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Hey, look at us! We're totally rad because we say fuck a lot. What fucking badasses we are.Quit making shit film after shit film Statham!
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Dunno about all you miserable negative arseholes, but this one looks like a right laugh...I watched the first Crank expecting it to be crap and it was a laugh, now if Tarantino was directing it, you would all be declaring it the next greatest thing since tissue paper, you wankers!
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Why wouldn't they want this on the internet? This is viral marketing.
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No thats the Tarantino school of filmmaking. The difference is these guys know they are making a fun shit movie-- Tarantino really believes he churns out masterpieces.
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This movie is going to fucking rock! Jason is the man of action right now! He is also a really great actor! Check out the bank job! Anyone who thinks this movie is going to be a pile of garbage can got eat some donkey shit! Because that is what most of the people think about your dam thoughts anyway! Crank 1 was good, this looks like it will be Great! It is not supposed to be serious, just a silly fun action movie! If all you film snobs cant hang with it, go jerk off to SlumDog Millionare! This movie will kick ass! So anyone who doubts Jason Statham can go suck a cock, because how you can you not like him! He is the best fucking action star today! So fuck off KWISATZHADERACH! Suck my left nut STARBLITZER! Suck my right nut PENCIL-MAN & the eat my shit as well! PANCOMPLEX open your mouth wide so I piss in it! Because that is about as interesting as your comment iS! BASS BASTARDSON lick my asshole and go make out with those two bitches from the 2 GIRLS ONE CUP video, because that is the only pussy your every going to get! Your mother probably fucks you out of pitty! Anyone else that has a problem with Jason Statham man suck a million cocks, then move on to drinking the cume! Then after that they can throw up in a toilet and then eat that for dinner! Then after that they can dig up there dead mothers and faters and eat the waste in there insides for breakfast! Anyone else that has shit to say about the cool movie, can jump off a building, spread there ass cheeks open, and land on the first sharp thing they see! Because that is about how much your fucking comment matters! All other nay-sayers can eat a cock! No pussy allowed for you faggots! I shit on all those who have a problem with the Statham! He is fucking cool! Crank 2 is going to be awesome! Crank 3 should be on the way! Anyone that thinks other wise, you can drink a period from you ugly over weight girlfriend and die! All of you haters FUCK OFF! The wrath of LARAZ has cometh!
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Jan 15, 2009 12:43:10 PM CST
these guys know they are making a fun shit movie
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
No, these guys are cunts who think they're awesome.Although, I won't disagree on the Tarantino thing.
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Jan 15, 2009 12:43:23 PM CST
in comparison to budget-- this will profit more than AVATAR....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
And Hollywood will begin to further realize the blockbuster is dead. Seriously-- why the fuck do films with a budget over 50 million need to exist?
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...for how much crazy shit they can get away with on this-- but I seriously doubt any of them think they are making some great film.
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Loved the frenetic video game style of the original - easily the best action film of '06. I have high hopes for this.
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...is going to LOVE this.
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it seems like the gang who brought us Crank, and haven’t even yet finished Crank 2, are going to bring us a Crank 3…IN 3-D!
According the the folks over at Collider, directors Brian Taylor and Mark Neveldine will not only be bringing us Crank 2 soon, but they will also be planning on a third Crank. This is awesome news, but the best part about this is that they are planning on shooting in 3-D. The directors told Collider, “We think it’s the way things are going. The problem for us is that the rigs are still a little too cumbersome. They’re a bit too big. We just don’t shoot that way man, We like to just pick up the camera and run and go berserk and it doesn’t really lend itself to 3D right now.”
“We’re going to be creating a ‘moving bullet camera’ that has never been done before. We’re putting about 15 cameras onto a piece of speed rail, all these super lightweight cameras that I’ll be holding on rollerblades flying around people. So you’ll have that image that you’ve seen in the Matrix, where they stop motion and the cameras spin around, except for the fact that our cameras can spin around and move while the actor moves.”
YEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!!! -
DGDB you're my bud but sometimes your taste in movies is totally baffling ...
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What the fuck? The dude really said all that? Fuuuuuuuuuck.
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ANDEATGIANTSROCKSOFCOCAINEWHILEMY15YEAROLDGIRLFRIENDSUXONMYKNOBWHILEIENJOYSEXANDTITSANDBLOODANDTITSANDGUTSANDKICKSANDPUNCHESANDFUCKSANDTITSANDBLOODANDPUNCHESANDTITSANDBLOODMaybe I am getting too for this shit...
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...I love great films too, but doesn't anyone get a little drunk, watch a movie, have sex, and pass out around here? Crank is not for critiquing.
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I agree with Danny on Tarantino...he couldn't squeeze out a classic unless it was coated in vasoline and shoved up his brown eye. His stuff is VERY overrated. But..as far as Crank 2 - I do enjoy stripped down and low budget bare-knuckles action; but the first movie kind of sucked (aside from the 'sex is keeping me going' scene)...this does sound better than the first though.
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Anyone else has anything to say what so ever I have to exhaust myself with another fucking comment! For all those losers out there that doubt CRANK 2! Uh, so here we go! Suck a cock, a horse dick, a lions pussy, your moms asshole! Your dog and cats dick! Get fucked in your ass by a horse cock, then get fucked to death by the horse! Eat more shit that you have saved for a month, then throw it up, shove it up your ass to make your ass cheeks a little wet, and get fucked by an elephants cock! Go over to Richard Gere's crib and let him stick a gerbale up your ass through a tube! Then suck off his cock and snowball him! Now for anyone who has something really cool to say about Crank 2, go smoke a blunt! Fuck your hot girlfriend, or find a hot girl to fuck! Go to the bar and have a few beers! You know why cause your cool as hell! Anyone who doesnt like Crank 2 can do this! Run down the street naked, while pissing your pants because of how small your cock is! Go jerk off to the next Kanye West album, because that is how cool you are! Go in to a bathhouse and get ass fucked by the whole church of QUEER! Then take a month to shit out all of the cum stuck up in your ass! Then take that cum and feed it to your kids, because when they grow up they are going to be lame and cum eaters just like you! After you take a few weeks of to realize how much you really do suck cock, go join the military and get shipped off to IRAQ, step on a bomb and come home with no legs! Then audition for those freaky ass pornos with guys who fuck chick with out legs! After you audition you will realize you didnt get the job because your cock was blown off! So go home and hang yourself from the toilet! All of your shit will fall out your ass including blood! Your best fucking friend will come home, who didnt like crank 2 either, beacue he is a faggot! He will see you dead and begin to eat you shit and blood! Throw up then hand himself as well! This will be a cycle for all those that doubt Jason Statham! & anyone who talks shit about Crank 2! All of the haters can fuck off! All the cool people who are down, do nothing! Cause your cool anyway! The Second Coming of Laraz has cometh! BitcheS!
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I'm all for films like Crank. While I don't hate big-budget cinema, there's something about a pedal to the metal R-Rated action film that works. It looks as nasty as Cobra.
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Ya know, I have to give it to them. Those chaps seem like they're living the dream. God bless them and their 'we're going to do this because it's fun' attitude.
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Go fuck yourself. Because nobody else will. That is all.
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as much as anybody. Just not ones with Jason Statham in them. Because he's a facking cant. Thanks a lot Guy Ritchie for inflicting Statham on us, and for your crappy filmography.
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http://www.filmschoolrejects.com/news/crank-3wait-crank-3-d.php
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I love pussy and pussy loves me, but to you its a myth! With the exception of you fucking your mom in ass! Because she wanted you to wait till marriage! As for your taste in film, your favorite movie of last year was probably BRIDESMAID REVISITED! So go jerk off to that with your dad! Because the only person who cares about you is yourself! Your taste in films is lower than shit, it is beyond decomposing! You will die a painful death! I will be there to piss in your mouth while you beg for mercy! & jason statham will write me a letter of thanks! You belong to the church of QUEER, because that is what you are! Bend over and take it like a man! Forgot your not a man, you not even a boy! You are probably a BLAH! A creature that doesnt come out during the day, who stays up all night cumming all over the TV to Tim Burton films! Go suck a cock and two balls, harry salty ones! Cause that is the only action your ever going to GET! The third coming of LARAZ has cometh!
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Jan 15, 2009 1:04:34 PM CST
"Those chaps seem like they're living the dream"
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Do people really dream of making shit films?
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To see some of the gibberish you fellas are writing about how Statham is fucking cool and everybody else is a faggot and you get a boner from the rape scene in part 1 is kind of making me worry that the world is turning into one of those '80s post apocalypse movies where the cities are populated with giggling neanderthals with mohawks and chains around their necks who ride around in Jeeps looking for people to rape. No offense.
I am happy to report though that I watched DEATH RACE and it was okay. It had a good solid b-movie structure to it and at least the camera was held steady enough that you could sometimes tell what was going on, although not always.
But I still think you guys are insulting the art of action movies by saying everybody who doesn't like CRANK or TRANSPORTER or whatever is a sissy and only likes Judi Dench movies. You can't tell me I don't love action movies, but that's why I have standards for them and when some condescending frat boy pricks throw together a pile of A.D.D. slop like CRANK, ruining a perfectly good premise and cast, it just doesn't work for me. I'm glad you can enjoy it but recognize that it is not below criticism just because of its genre. They still gotta do a good job. Or are you telling me that you enjoy ERASER exactly as much as TERMINATOR because they both have Arnold in them? -
Jan 15, 2009 1:06:23 PM CST
shit films are more fun to make than good ones....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....Oscar Baiting is nice too, but come on. Ease up a little. Fuck. Sometimes people forget film exists as a form of entertainment.
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But I enjoy Commando more than I ever will a Terminator film.
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"you've just been erased."
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In this case, yes. They're making the films they want to make.
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cough*laraz*cough...It's cool you have shit taste and want to shout that from the rooftops and feel a need to write ridiculous obscenities against people who are not interested in Crank 2 High Voltage. Oh wait, no that's not cool, the only thing I'm surprised about is that your whole post wasn't in ALL CAPS, you know to REALLY get your message across... I enjoyed the first Crank for what it was, a balls to the walls action movie, but I can see why people hate it too. So how old are you laraz? My guess is 14, over, under?
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Blow Me
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"We just don’t shoot that way man, We like to just pick up the camera and run and go berserk..." I liked it better when directors used to plan out how they were gonna shoot a scene. Those were the good old days. They would figure out the best way to shoot a scene, set up the camera, and try to do a good job. I'm getting real nostalgic thinking about it.
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What complete fuckin'hacks.
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You get the same effect.
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This is hilarious, maybe laraz is Jason S feeling a tad sensitve, that "facking cant" comment just makes me laugh out loud!
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Terminator was better than ERASER! But hell ERASER was still watchable! Action movies arent meant to be serious, they are meant to be enjoyable! They are not OSCAR contenders! As far as my comments above, I MEANT EVERY WORD OF IT! JASON STATHAM IS GOD! ANYONE WHO THINKS OTHERWISE SHOULD GO JUMP OFF A BUILDING AND DIE! JUDI DENCH WAS ONLY IN ONE GOOD MOVIE! SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE, AND THAT WAS BECAUSE SHE WAS ONLY IN IT FOR 5 MINUTES! VERN CRANK IS A AWESOME MOVIE! YOU PROBABLY ARE BEST FRIENDS WITH JUDI DENCH AND EMMA THOMPSON, THOUGH EMMA IS ALRIGHT! YOU PROBABLY THOUGHT PUPL FICTION WAS GREAT, EVEN THOUGH EVERY FRAME IN THAT FILM WAS A RIP OFF OF ANTOTHER DIRECTOR! YOU PROBABLY THOUGH KILL BILL WAS A MASTERPIECE, EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A RIP-OFF OF EVERY FUCKING KUNG-FU FILM EVER MADE, INCLUDING JAPANESE SAMURI FILMS AS WELL! SO YOU OPINON DOESNT COUNT FOR SHIT! YOU ARE A CRITIC NOT A FILM FAN! CRITICS ARE PEOPLE WHO COULDNT MAKE IT AS DIRECTORS, SO THEY CHOMP DOWN GOOD WORK BY OTHER ACTORS! DONT FUCK WITH THE STATHAM! HE IS ACTION GOD! AND CRANK TWO WILL BE BETTER THAN ANY FILM YOU CALL GREAT IN 09 VERN! SO PLEASE GO WRITE YOUR SHITTY ASS REVIEWS SOMEWERE ELSE! BECAUSE ACTION FANS AINT LISTING TO YOUR GARBAGE! THE FOURTH COMING OF LARAZ HAS COMETH!
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I liked Commando too, but I cannot watch Eraser anymore since I saw it 3 TIMES the night it opened. Call me a glutton for punishment, it was in my let watch every movie no matter how bad it is many times phase.....I think Crank 2 will be an awesome popcorn movie!
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The first Crank just wasn't a good film...people believe frenetic editing and a few interesting stunts make a good action picture; but none of Statham's action entries compare to GOOD action flicks like Die Hard (the first), Escape From New York, The French Connection etc. You simply can't re-watch films like Transporter without seeing some of the glaring cheesiness, continuity issues and half-baked plot devices. Yes...the Crank directors knew they were making crap...and guess what? They managed to set low expectations and then meet them.
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Haven't seen any of them (nor do I necessarily care to-- just not my cup of tea), but from the looks of the vid above, anybody would get a pretty good idea of what they'd be getting for their $10. I say tweak that bad boy and make it a red band trailer and be done with it.
Me-- I'll skip it. Maybe catch it eventually on Spike/FX if there's nothing else on. -
I'm also very excited about the Marvel film Paste Pot Pete.
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In his synopsis, Merrick accidentally refers to Chev as "Frank." He was undoubtedly thinking of Transporter
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What a hottie. I'd bone her against a mailbox in front of some Asians any day.
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Rambo had as much crazy gory action as that trailer but you could tell that shots and scenes were planned and staged with care by Sly. I know Sly will use Statham's talents to devastating effect in The Expendables. It's just that the Crank makers are given fois gras, and using it like Spam.
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In his synopsis, Frizz accidentally refers to Chev as "Frank." He was undoubtedly thinking of Transporter
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You two must be the silliest wankers to every make a comment! If your going to comment at the great LARAZ make sure you having something funny or relevent to say! You two douchbags are worse then VERN, I can respect Vern, but you two have no argument what so ever! You two need to meet up and go on a hike in the woods, then get gang raped by a bunch of hill folk! You two should shit in each others mouths and video tape it, post it on the net, become ashamed and then blow your brains out! The sad thing is if you two died today no one on earth would care! You are what we call a wasted life! The FIFTH coming of LARAZ has cometh!
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Jan 15, 2009 1:24:44 PM CST
well Crank is a prequel to the Transporter....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Chev is his real name. Frank Martin is a British Secret Service codename much like James Bond. It is passed down from agent to agent. Crank films are meant to showcase the insane life of crime Frank once led, before he settled down in Europe and began a life of PG-13.
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but still enjoyed it immensely, sue me.
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...together. Transporter was just barely OK, and Death Race sucked. Crank is a case apart...it was silly beyond belief, but is had giant solid balls, and for once showed you something you hadn't seen one hundred times before...and just when it was getting old, that crazy cell phone call while falling to your death from a plane ending redeemed the whole thing. B movie?...you bet, but a B movie with man parts.
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"JUDI DENCH WAS ONLY IN ONE GOOD MOVIE! SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE"In a Crank 2 TB.There is a certain demented genius to it.
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To see this! FUCK YES!
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You missed all the cleverness that was unapparent in the trailer. Greatly amusing music cues, inspired direction that included surreal visual effects, back Google Maps transitions, trippy subtitles, on-screen graphics, splitscreens and tons of old-school Atari references, etc. and a game cast, especially Statham, whose concluding speech in Crank is actually kinda nice. It was greatly amusing and I don't feel I have to make excuses for liking it. Crank 2 might not be as inspired, but I have faith that some of it will be, including the weird caricature-head Godzilla sized fight that must be at the end -- there are pics of it online but no hint of it in this trailer.
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The FIFTH coming of LARAZ??, I get it.. you just popped ur cherry with ur Mum today, lost ur virginity with her and you have come five times so far,no wonder u are so jazzed, u utter fucking muppet!!
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I bet yes.. Just a hunch.
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http://photos.latimes.com/backlot/page/7
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Your screen name sounds like something out of a bad lifetime movie! Like the husband who beats his wife! Are you a wife beater, no im sorry your a shit eater! Because every comment you make sounds like a big pile of donkey shit! Go watch you SEX, LIES, & VIDEOTAPE! Your favorite director is probably STEVEN SODENBERGH you communist! You can have TRAFFIC ill take crank any day of the week! As far as Jason Statham, he is god! Yet there was one bad movie he did do which I forgot to mention! It was called REVOLVER! & it like horvak is a pile of shit! & Judi Dench was in one good movie I forgot about! Casino Royale, and that was because she was only in it for 15 minutes!
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Your like one of those people who would buy a jigsaw, get it home, open the box, look in horror, take it back to the shop and rant at the staff complaining that it was broken!! u knob head
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what the fuck is that? It looks insanely cool. The surrealism of these weird ass movies continues. Its like an amped up Pee Wee's Big Adventure. -
just like I said, ur a knob but funny 'cos my post said, this movie looks like a laugh and then on my second post I thought the phrase "facking cant" was hilarious...cos it is, u facking cant!!
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Laraz going into caps lock mode...this is too easy. You didn't answer my question, how old are you? Was I close with 14? I'm serious here.
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Is that the best you can come up with you donkey fucking shit eater! You have to do better than that when it comes to talking shit, you uncle fucker! So log off the computer and go watch HOWARDS END, because that is the only movie that fits your rants! Dont forget to go to the CHURCH OF QUEER this sunday either!
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That I'll at least download.
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I'll be the first to admit I'm an intellectual, elitist, New York City residing, tweed-jacket-with-elbow-patches wearing, wine-and-cheese-literary-scene making complete and utter snob, but I really liked the first Crank movie and so did my "only obscure European experimental movie fare for me, thanks" girlfriend. Of all the wink/nudge action movies of recent note, [Wanted, Shoot 'Em Up, Smokin' Aces (gag,) et al.] Crank was easily the best, funnest, and most entertaining. Vern either didn't watch the movie or doesn't know what he's talking about.
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Although it did not contain Judi Dench & Amy Smart muffing around in the sack together, 'Smokin Aces' is the Godfather of todays hyper-kinetic raw meat entertainment movement.
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My IQ is higher than your college education, if you have one! The way you talk your favorite film is probably GLITTER! So go jerk off to your favorite Maria Carey album! Jizz in a cup and swallow it! Because that is how intresting your talk backs are!
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Jan 15, 2009 1:48:01 PM CST
I would have no problem jerking off to Glitter.....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...was that meant to be an insult?
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...are you really Persian or from the Middle East somewhere? Your insults have a Long Bearded Old Testament sort of thing going on. Very interesting. Also noteworthy is your preoccupation with virginity, shame, and incest. Fascinating.
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If your favourite film IS Glitter, how would it be an insult if someone told you that it was Glitter? Cretin.
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Jan 15, 2009 1:52:43 PM CST
Laraz, Jason was also in "In the name of the King" by Dr. Boll
by mike_d
that movie was shit, and I didnt even see it. just watched it get flushed.
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Jan 15, 2009 1:52:45 PM CST
I'm just saying Mariah is fine as fuck in Glitter....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....whether you like the movie or not, skins be skins.
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You are good for a laugh at least, I suppose my jigsaw jibe went over your head? Hey rimmer, I am looking forwards to this movie, get with the program retard, go back to my first post and read it out loud very SLOWLY so that it sinks in, then go to your Mum & Dad and ask them to read it all back and explain it to you, just in case you are still struggling, unless of course they are brother and sister and their parents were brother and sister which would explain what a moron you are.. but keep going! But then you may not have parents as say they saw what a retarded monstrosity they had created and gave you up for adoption to a pack of roaming retards from the plains of retardia from the planet...wait for it... RETARD
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Hey guess what your three also belong to the church of QUEER! All three of your names are fucking lame! Couldnt come up with anything more creative or better! You three probably suck VERNS cock on the weekends, when he writes back reviews for great action films! You three should just go jump off a building, jerk each others cocks off on the way down! Fall on the ground, let your family eat your remains, let them shit it in the toliet and flush! Because that is how intresting your comments were flowerboys!
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YES!! Finally someone mentions me in a post! I've been waiting for this day!
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Does not matter if you are looking forward to the movie! Once you cross the line of LARAZ, you have crossed it for good! Yeah I got your jigsaw bit, but I only laugh at jokes that are funny! So please Horvak, go jump on VERNS cock, mine is not available! & if I am a retard, why do you keep responding to my post! Who is the fool, the fool himself or the one who follows him! The great OBI_WAN said that fuck face! Think about it, and eat shit while you watch THE LOVE GURU!
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Now that's some funny.
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Jan 15, 2009 1:58:58 PM CST
laraz...don't you worry your pretty little head about it...
by flickapoo
...and work on your reading and comprehension skills. I liked CRANK...was just curious where you picked up your "MAY THE FLEAS OF A THOUSAND CAMELS INFEST YOUR ARMPITS!!" Old Testamenty insult style. Carry on little man, carry on.
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I will call a truce with horvak, you were right! You are on the Crank 2, cool list! So everything I said about you is done and gone! Unite the clans! For everyone else though that I mentioned, Fuck off!
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I'm all for low budget filmmaking, but this looks retarded! And (no surprise there) misogynistic to boot. I suspect though, that this just LOOKS low budget because shit like framing and composition (and taking the time to come up with an even marginally plausible extension of the original plot/concept) falls by the wayside when confronted with jocko pseudo-witty asides, exploding this or that, anti-erotic fuck scenes, and the ol' shotgun up the ass trick. Show some imagination, for fuck's sake, the filmmakers are INSULTING you. And seriously, "grindhouseishly"??? C'mon...
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Moses says that you do not obey thy commandments! Thou must pay!
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Go watch your fucking SPEILBERG movies, and grow some balls! This is a kick ass action film, no ladies allowed anyway! Which you are!
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If you have seen the "Shotgun up the ass" trick in other films, please point me in their direction. P.S. Your name is sorta like mine. But nobody gets the joke. Awwww well.
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It was in a movie that i seen once! Forgot the name, but it was a french movie about two outlaw chicks! It was a film but borderline porno as well! It was called RapeME, i think! Yet it was spelled in French! Real movie, real scene, and it was fucking sick!
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Shoot Em Up and Crank, cuz deep down they wish they were 1/10th as cool as Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Laraz, don't stop. Your sputtering non stop insults are hilarious.
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Pick a name by an actor who's only past time is not making bob marley songs in to movies! & when you say a joke! About me, please make sure it is funny fuckwade!
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based on their trailers...guys, check this site out...trailers from hell...http://tinyurl.com/5d3k4l
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was the hole fucking movie shot with a wide lens? it looks like a fucking hidden camera
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Doesnt matter what lens it was shot with! It will still equal greatness! What are you in fucking film school or something! You ones of those people who watched a movie for its art instead of its entertainment value! What a shame! The day I watch a movie to study the way it was made, is the day I admit that I enjoy Seth Rogen movie!
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entertainment value had to be mutually exclusive. now i do. laraz, preach on, good sir... preach on.
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i rather spend my time in film school than watching crank films or even worse sucking statham´s dick as much as you do
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has forced me to accelerate my purchase. Hope it's as good as Seagalogy. But I disagree with you on Crank. I think there's room for all of it. Rambo proved there is still an audience for the excellent old-school stuff as well as the goofy craziness of Crank. I love both equally.
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You are one step away from becoming a douchbag film critic! & I do not suck Stathams cocks, I just admire a man who can entertain the public as well as he does! He doesnt care about reviews, he cares about his audience! Which he has never sold-out! If you ever do make it as anything, your face will by soldout in the dictionary! You are a ass licking uncle fucker! Go study your dam Tim burton films, you emo fucking slime! Your comment has not merit as to us true movie fans!
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This one is a little bit difficult to judge, because I can see how someone would be offended by it and call it a rape scene, but I can also see how someone thinks different. I mean, it's not that she is yelling "No, please stop!" while she get "raped" and she even doesn't complain afterwards about it. In fact, she says 'no' AT FIRST, but even before he puts her male organ into her female organ, she starts to kinda like the idea and even obviously enjoys it.
So one can say: "It's the typical rape fantasy of 'yes means no', which leads to a victimisation of women in general, but on the other hand it's not more "rape" than the millions of movies (Bond movies come to my mind) where there hero goes to a woman and she is mad at him (for shooting her lover or something else) and she goes: "No, I hate you, I hate you!", slaps him hard in the face, then looks into his eyes, they start kissing and then we see a hot, steamy sex scene or at least the aftermath of it, with them lying in bed together.
About Crank: I try to stay diplomatic, because it's a totally fucked up scene in a totally fucked up movie. -
Perromaldito, if you know anything about an audience like Jason Statham man does! You will know that Hitchcock, one of the best directors did just that! He never liked critics, he cared for his audience! Something you do not understand the defenition of! Go to the Church of Queer, and get ass-fucked!
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Well, there was the shooting a guy up the ass trick in Things to do in Denver When Your Dead.BUCKWHEATS!
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Who said it was a rape scene? Anyway, I thought he was fucking his girlfriend!
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Rated PG-13
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YOU JOYLESS MOTHERFUCKERS!!!
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What would give you the fucking impression that it would be pg-13! By the preview it looks like it should be NC-17, which would rock more!
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excuse me, i though i was talking with normal people i should´ve read the whole talkback to know where you´re coming from, my bad.
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maybe someday i´ll make a film about an internet troll
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If you hate ADD editing, fine. If you hate ultra-violence in movies, fine (but don't ever watch a Paul Verhoeven movie). If you hate Jason Statham - not fine, you facking cant.
But you can't call CRANK a shit movie.
Why not? It was at least fucking INVENTIVE - when's the last time you could say that about Quentin "back to the fucking well AGAIN" Tarantino? The idea of a movie that moved like a video game - hey, why not? CRANK is GTA come to life - so fucking what?
That movie had an awareness of its own silliness (a quality that held SHOOT EM UP back from CRANK levels of greatness - SHOOT EM UP took itself too seriously). The way it was made may have been gimmicky, but since when the fuck have movies NOT been gimmicky? Calling CRANK a shit movie because it uses camera tricks to keep audiences interested is like saying SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE wasn't trying because it shoved Dame Judi Dench in there. Yeah, I went there, bitches. Action movies that are FUN can do whatever the hell they want to - that's what makes them FUN. And if a costume drama wants to add talent, gravitas and Oscar nods by hiring Dame Judi, what the hell. Even Vin Diesel recognises the genius that is Dame Judi Dench.
And for fuck's sake, how can you POSSIBLY mistake CRANK as a movie that SHOULD be taken seriously? Fuck off back to film school and leave these immature video-game style action masterpieces to those of us who remember what it was like TO JUST FUCKING ENJOY A MOVIE!!!
I'm not going to rag on other movies for being stylish in their own right - so why the fuck would you hate CRANK for the same reason? If you think it's shit, walk away and leave it for those of us who enjoy an immature yet spectacularly funny action movie.
MOVIES ARE MEANT TO BE FUN, YOU JOYLESS MOTHERFUCKERS!!! -
hilarious!! but humour us all and answer the question raised a couple of times. What age are you???
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MRS SPUD-TO-BE has two things to say --
(1) CRANK is JACKASS-meets-THE BOURNE IDENTITY. If you don't like that idea, you probably won't enjoy these movies...
(2) She has a few ideas on how to keep Statham's heart pumping ;p
Doc Spud may haveta choke a bitch after all... -
How can you beat that? It was good for what it was, a Jason Statham action movie where he has to keep his adrenaline up while trying to solve the reason why he's been injected and get revenge on those who did it.This isn't exactly Billy Shakespeare here, but what were you expecting? Honestly?
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Couldn´t agree with you more, despite what cockless there says i very much enjoy mindless action films, hell anyone born in the 80s should have them burnt on their DNA, i dont thing action and dumb should be the same thing though, and i dont think the crank director sets out to do a piece of shit film either
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(a) a son or nephew of President Ahmadinejad with a secret predilection for Western movies... (b) Kim Jong Il, who has a well known secret predilection for Western movies...(c) A home schooled Mormon kid from Utah online for the first time...or(d) That guy CHHHRRRRSSSMMMM or whatever his name was...who after John McCain's defeat has evidently decided to carry water for Jason Statham.
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Perromaldito! When you speak of my name, you better come with something that is not corny! Everything you say sounds like something my grandmother would say! You are the biggest douchbag on the comment space thus far! & the dudes before you were all major cockfucks, yet you take the cake for being the most cum eating douchbag in the history of cum eating! Do yourself a favor and go audition for a snuff film, because the way you talk that is the only work you will ever get! As far as my age! Well can't adult's act like children every once in awhile!
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That does sound foreign. Maybe this is MoM.
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Bukake me up!!!! ím waiting for it
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A mormon! Ha! My idenity is kicking ass and taking names asslicker! You y far have the screen name of a ten year old! Go eat your moms pussy out for dinner, the go jerk off to your golden girl pictures! Cause that is the only Pussy your ever going to geT!
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This guy needs to star in a COD4 film ASAP. as Gaz
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This is still going on, I forgot how much fun talkbacks were!!! and in all this doom and gloom a simple little forum chases the blues....it's poetic
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You realize that no one cares what you or any of your other douchbag cockfucking posse thinks right! Go make out with Janet Reno you limesuckers! Your street creed in film is ZERO! Your brain waves are about the size of my balls!
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First of all, nothing about the first Crank felt like it wasn't planned. We're still talking about film with a budget in the millions of dollars, they didn't just go out and film whatever they thought of at the time. This is the influence Blair Witch had on film. Watch The Bourne Supremacy, the action is so shaky and nuts, but I have trouble following everything. I can follow the action in Crank far easier so I prefer the way it is staged.
Secondly, it is very unfair of you to characterize people who love to love Crank as being jibbering idiots. These are the people who hated Live Free Or Die Hard and Terminator 3 for not being hardcore like the original. Crank stands and falls on its sky high concept and as such needs to indulge in bizarre experimental filmmaking to keep itself fresh and hardcore. Do you remember the days when the studio wouldn't be cracking down on films trying to get PG-13 on everything? Seriously John Mclane is not John Mclane when he's stepping around cuss words. Crank is fine filmmaking. The people who go wild about it are just so excited to have an action franchise that feels like it is made for hardcore action fans as opposed to attempting to reach the youngest demographic. Crank is an action film those who are nostalgic for the action icons, off the wall nutty choreography and x rated content of the best of the 80's and 90's.
I wanna hear your response to this Vern
Oh yeah, CRANK IS THE SHIT -
Why would you want Vern to respond! With the remarks he already made, he has showed that he knows little about film! Besides those that suck!
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..as long as i get a chance to see her cork-sized nipples, i'm so there.
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Jan 15, 2009 3:35:21 PM CST
THE ONLY THING MORE FUN THAN READING LARAZ'S POSTS ...
by bringingsexyback
Looking at a plane floating on the Hudson. I think I see Cloverfield moving into Jersey ...
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NUFF SAID
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says it well - Crank is nowhere in the same calibre of filmaking as the original Die Hard or such like, but in a period where the latest Die Hard feels restrained and geared towards a tween audience it feels great to laugh at the ridiculousness OTT feel of it all.
Statham rampaging through a city in an orgy of sex, violence and enough tongue in cheek humour (stood next to a guy watching a TV mugshot of him whilst sporting a massive erection, standing on a bike drugged to the nines to the tune of Everybodys Talkin' - c'mon!) It may be directed by a couple of ADD freaks, but they seem to be having a ball and it recreates the 'anything goes' mentality of the 70's/80's B-Movie heyday pretty well. -
Well said.
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it's not fun, or funny, or original. it's just a bunch of exaggerated cliches and masturbation.
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I will return, maybe not later! Or tomorrow, but I will come-back when all those Statham haters arent looking! & revenge will be mine!
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Maluquiro, suck a fucking cock! After that go jerk off to your family photos, then afer that, go to hell! Cause someone like you who doesnt like crank! They are people that have no idea what fun is! I bet last friday night you went to a fucking smurf convention you fucking cum eater! Log off your computer and die!
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Como se llama usted?
I is confused, hombre... -
Statham has never sold out...? He was in The Fucking Pink Panther remake...and the french movie you were thinking of with the gun to the ass scene is called Baise Moi...
And why are you repeating insults from 10 fucking years ago...? And macho catchphrases like "my identity is kicking ass and taking names...?" Seriously, take a breather from your attention whoring and come up with something original minge face...
You were entertaining for a moment or two...than you just started repeating yourself with bad grammer, horrible spelling, and overused sandbox vulgarities...
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http://www.veidt.com/?p=334
Also, Crank is the best superhero origin movie ever shot. Can't wait for Crank 2. -
You had it going on with your first few posts, people were diggin' it and giggling at you, but then you stuck around too long and got desperate. Now you'll be forgotten by tomorrow. You could have done it man. You were close. Now you're just another fucking scab like twat.
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I'm looking at a pic of Stanton and Lasseter. Jesus Christ they are multiplying every time I see them. Fucking slobs on a computer all day like me.
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So now that it's gone from here, is it anywhere else?
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http://tinyurl.com/7ewlyt
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I see I step out for a few moments then people have the balls to start talking shit again! Pussy's!Spud Mcspud, this is america. Here we speak english, go jump across the fucking border back to mexico were you belong hombre! FlickApoo, I wont diss you because you have become sad beyond repair! HavocSchultz, you sound like a Jew! & the best place for a JEW is in A Oven Screaming! DannyGlover, come on dude! Give up, your diss is like an hour to late! Go blow your brains out, and let your mother find your body! It will probably be the miracle she has been waiting for all year! Fuck all you Jason Statham haters! Laraz always gets the last word bitches!
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Thats not fucking funny dude. My Mom is dead. And I was the one that found her body with Han Solo stuffed inside her carcass in the middle of a snow storm.
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I hope she is dead! Anyone that had to bare you as a son and live to tell about it should of commited suicide along time ago!
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What the fuck? Are you serious Mr. Spud? The motherfucker shoots a baby's umbilical cord off to pry it off its mother in the first 10 minutes of the movie. You either didn't see Shoot Em Up, or every movie that isn't Crank takes itself too seriously.
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I'm a jew with Schultz in my name you daft twunt...do you even think about your insults before you spew them forth...?
This talkback is in desperate need of some gorgonzola right about now... -
Using the word queer as an insult? Fuck you. There's nothing wrong with being queer.
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Because I think you should be getting ready to go inside it about now! I dont hate jews, just jews that hate Statham! You are one Jew that should of got gased!
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Well tell everyone at THE CHURCH OF THE QUEER this sunday I said hi!
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I like the premise of CRANK, and some of the individual scenes. But that random A.D.D. piling on of split screens, switching to different formats, zooming into an x-ray of his heart and Michael Bay editing shit just ruined it for me. I felt like they took a premise that was inherently exciting (guy has to keep his heart rate up or he'll die) and then tried to force it to be exciting through cheap visual gimmicks, which kills the whole thing. It's not nearly as bad as DOMINO but it's a similar feeling of just being hit over the head with a pan for 90 minutes straight. Don't get me wrong, I'm fine with gimmicks, but for me that kind of spazziness usually ruins action scenes and pacing. The new one looks like it could be more of a problem since it was entirely shot on handheld camcorders.
I am the first to rail against the PG-13izing of everything but honestly if I have to choose between restrained violence and quality filmmaking I'm gonna have to take the PG-13. Motherfuckers don't know how to direct anymore and it's a shame.
I don't really see it as nostalgic either, I think they're trying to be hip and modern and shit. The classic action movies weren't so sarcastic or cartoony. Which is fine, but I just think it could be done better.
I might try to watch it again some day soon and see if it grows on me, but after seeing some interviews with the dudes who made it I kind of get the feeling they're more obnoxious than the movie even lets on, so I'm not sure if there's more there. But I'll give it a shot. -
No, I saw SHOOT EM UP, and genuinely enjoyed it - but towards the end it kind of became one self-consciously-hip monologue after another between Paul Giamatti and Clive Owen, both of whom seemed to realise how dumb this concept was at the beginning of the film, but seemed to think they were thesping in a DIE HARD movie at the end. I dunno - a few more laughs towards the back end of the movie would've helped, that's all. I still think it's an awesome movie, but I think CRANK pipped it on every level.
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COMMANDO is one of the most cartoony action movies ever made.
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If you have mod powers, can you shit-can Laraz. He's making cracks about 'queers' and gassing jews.
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so that's kinda like the anti-jew...but I'm sure your insult still makes you proud...and seriously, holocaust jokes...? Now you're just stretching...
I actually like Statham...and didn't mind Crank...you remind me of swiss cheese laraz...full of holes...for my penis...and the oven's fine...there's room enough in here for the both of us... -
Seriously do you listen to yourself talk before you type! Or is your mind just made out of bullshit!
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Just read your last post - and you accuse ME of not speaking English? You sound like a drunken henchman from the first xXx, but without the whip-smart intellect, the exceptional insight or the simmering charisma.
DannyGloversDickBlood will wear you as a rubber and fuck you to death. He will wear sandpaper gloves and masturbate you into a human inferno. Then I shall piss on your mouldering ashes and curse you as you pass into Hell, you spectacular cocksucker you. Verne Troyer naughs as he fucks your mother! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!! -
Laraz is the latest in a long line of incredulous trolls.
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If you seriously take anything I say seriously Schultz or Zedd, then the both of you need to be placed in a chamber and choked to death! Stop being babys! As far as being a jew and a german, you must have a love hate relationship with your self every day! Wake up speaking pig latin, go to sleep speaking yidish! As for Zedd, dont you have a cock you need to sucking right about now!
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And Laraz is King Cheesedick.
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And he does that baby-chuckle thing as he fucks her, too. and your mom LIKES it!
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Gotta love your comment about how people used to plan shots before getting the camera on location. Nice one, totally agree. I don't know how many more ADD running around movies I can sit through.
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DDB speaks the truth. You were pretty funny earlier in the thread, but you didn't know when to stop, you facking cant.
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cheddar/mozza blends...
And laraz uses a cheese grater to pleasure his mom...by her request of course... -
Don't even lose sleep over this cocksucker. We need Lost Jarv on here to tear him a new asshole.
Do we think this is what happened to CHHHHHRRIIISSSSWHOFUCKINGCARESWHATHISNAMEIS? Can't be M-O-M, M-O-M is at least intelligent. This Laraz is as cogent and grammatically correct as the humungous dump I left during my morning ablutions this AM. -
Come one you cant out talk the trash talker! Dont you got an over-weight girl friend to be eating out or something! Or maybe you and DannyGlover got a schedule to keep! You guys should fuck each other in the ass till the cum comes out your ears, because that is how much your last statement meant to anyone here!
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No, not just a great name for a band. But Laraz's personal mantra.
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You killed Christ!
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Again, if I were gay - how would that be an insult? The only thing your pathetically homophobic posts do is point you out to be a complete moron.
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You sound and talk like you belong in a bad fucking russian cover band of Journey, you silly pussyfart!
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Though I don't mind a bit of mindless troll destroying on these boards. I think the Jew bashing is a bit much, though I think anyone who tries queer-bashing on these TBs is going to find themselves slammed straight out again.
Nope, Laraz will be toast as soon as Vern (or someone else on the AICN staff) gets on the case.
Oh, and to Motoko Kusanagi:
CRANK 2 WILL BE FUCKING AVATAR NEXT YEAR! AND AVATAR WILL LIKE IT! AHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! -
Zedds dead baby, Zedds dead!
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No, I'm playing Marvel Ultimate Alliance and laughing at how he digs a deeper hole for himself.
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If they kick me off for making a few jabs at a couple of losers, then fuck them! Vern is shit anyway, and everyone knows it!
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Drop the fucking Mozzerella stick. It doesn't go in your ass... NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
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I hear Jim Cameron is pretty impressed with Crank 2 director Brian Taylor's work, especially his credit as 'extreme visual sequences creator' on Biker Boyz.
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A few jabs? You're making holocaust jokes, you fucking prat!
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Your also a tool!
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I'm too busy eating out YOUR over-weight girlfriend, while you spend your time on your moma's computer replying to this shit! I am gobbling on your woman right now - and she LOOOOOOOVES it!
You are an explosion of shit wrapped in cum wrapped in the dumbest motherfucker who ever lived! I wank on you! I wank on your ridiculous lack of ability to speak clearly in the English language! Your mother was a hamster and your father smells of elderberries! I fuck you! I fuck you mightily and just when you want more, I leave you there, panting and wanting MORE!
Then I beat you to death with my tumescent member and watch your worthless life dribble into the gutter as the light goes out in your eyes, you spectacularly vulgar son of a bitch! You base whore! THE ARSEHOLE OF HELL AWAITS YOU, YOU HERETIC FUCKER!!! -
Leave Biker Boyz alone. Those hogs are wild, yo.
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No, because I know how to spell you're properly. And you don't. You cant.
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Oh come on! It was a funny joke! Why cant it be funny just because it is a toucy subject! You guys need to take the dicks out your asses! Besides the only person on here that i can give to shits about is HARRY, it is his website!
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Havarti or Cream Havarti (Fløde Havarti in Danish) is semi-soft Danish cow's milk cheese. It was initially created on an experimental farm in the mid nineteenth century. Havarti is made like most cheeses, by introducing rennet to milk to cause curdling. The curds are pressed into cheese molds which are drained, and then the cheese is aged. Havarti is a washed curd cheese, which contributes to the subtle flavor of the cheese...on a related note, semi-soft Danish cow's milk cheese is what laraz' father shot into laraz' mom...9 months later, laraz curdled forth...
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Ah, that's low. You're defeating me with actual statistics. That ain't how we spar on these Talkbacks!
I actually AM looking forward to CRANK 2 as much as AVATAR, though. I daren't even think about what that says about me... -
on this gouda dick!
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Havoc is a master at making tasteless things funny. You, are not.
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Don't worry. I won't tell anyone.
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You are a dumbass! How long did it take you to come up with that reply! You are the lowest of the low! You would suck your own cock if you could, and eat the cum! You are a black sheep to your whole family, they point and laugh at he mistake you are in life! Get over yourself!
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*courtesy of the great Patton Oswald
http://tinyurl.com/7tvvwe -
is an anagram of Jason Statham.
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Leyden is pressed for about 3 hours, then it is redressed, inverted, and again pressed overnight. Come to think of it, sounds like your mom and I last night.
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I DO suck my own cock! And I looooove it! I can get myself off seventeen times in between the beats of a hummingbird's wings!
You yearn for the tender touch of FUCKING CHELIOS! You wank over the TRANSPORTER movies, dreaming of what the Stath would do to you! But he WILL NEVER do these things to you - because you are an unintelligible SHITEHAWK who has no idea of the greatness that is Jason Statham! CANT! FACKING CANT!
I don't give a cow's bastard what you think, Laraz. FUCK YE!!! -
also has milk rubbed on its surface. Like I rubbed my man-milk on your mother's surface after I was done with her.
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I had some Brie last night that had been chilled too long and it began to smell like cabbage. Was that anything like Laraz's mom?
AHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! -
Havarti is an interior-ripened cheese that is rindless, smooth and slightly bright-surfaced with a cream to yellow color depending on type. It has very small and irregular openings ("eyes") distributed in the mass. The texture (also depending on type) can be supple and flexible...just like your daddy's quim laraz...
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don't let that twat Laraz get to you. Join the Zone, have a nice bite of cheese, relax, and have a wonderful day.
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but this time I have to disagree. Crank was insane. It was ridiculous. It was all over the place. And I laughed my fucking arse off whilst watching it. Sure it isn't GREAT, sure I could have well done without a sequel - but it was relentlessly inventive and moreover ENTERTAINING. For me that overode all the bad stuff - for you perhaps it didn't. You still rule though Vern. Fuck the Vern haterz (its spelt with a z right??)
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Inventive action scenes that felt like they'd been planned out.
Crank, in its attempts to be "non stop" action ended up having very little action. There were no action scenes, no memorable set ups. Just stantham running around a lot. There was no sense of build up in the action. -
I see there are more here who appreciate a good cheese. Did you know Leyden cheese can be blue in color? Like my balls used to be before I splooged in Laraz's mom's ass.
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Because (unlike other less revered movie news websites) the reviewers on AICN can actually deal with people disagreeing with them!
Mentioning no names, Devin and the Nunz... -
There is butt one cheese, and Fremunda is its name.
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It's funny you should say that - Mrs-Spud-To-Be and I actually had about 4 cheeseboards given us this Christmas, so we've spent the last week recovering from the flu by eating cheese with EVERYTHING and watching Coolio and Verne Troyer make asses of themselves for our amusement on Celebrity Big Brother here in the UK. I must admit, this was the most chilled Christmas I've had in years :D
But right back atcha Nachoooooo, have a wonderful day :D -
nothing wrong with some good cheese...I did not know that about Leyden cheese...did you also know that Havarti has a buttery aroma and can be somewhat sharp in the stronger varieties, much like Swiss cheese. The taste is buttery, and from somewhat sweet to very sweet, and it is slightly acidic. It is typically aged about three months, though when the cheese is older it becomes more salty and tastes like hazelnut. When left at room temperature the cheese tends to soften quickly...like laraz' cock after being gummed by his mommy...
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Cheese made from buffalo milk, though quite hard and crumbly, can be extremely tasty (recommended melted on steak, or as cheese-on-toast). Half the fat, twice the calcium and protein (as normal cow's milk cheese) and quite strong flavoured. Lovely stuff.
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Liking the sound of the Havarti...
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Films are made at least six times: concept, script, casting, shooting, editing, viewing. Each time they change. Sometimes the movie (or 'text' if you want to go all academic on this) is cohesive, sometimes bits of it work and bits of it don't. Take CRANK as an example. It works on these levels: concept (SPEED with a man instead of a bus), casting (Statham, who at least plays this loony shit with some respect and is never self-consciously wacky about it PLUS Dwight Yoakam, who is sleazy perfection), shooting (I'll give them that) and viewing (it's a fun movie, taken as a whole). On the level of script and editing, it sucks. As for CRANK 2; never judge a movie by the trailer. Sure, they're aiming squarely for some kinda mutant JACKASS-junior crowd with the trailer, which indicates some kind of insecurity about the movie they're promoting. Here's how we do things though: better a ten million dollar idiot movie than a hundred million dollar idiot movie. Better than that, though, is a movie which tells a story and tells it on its own terms, rather than a movie which does sound and fury and signals nothing more than redundancy.
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Gouda...it is made from cow's milk that is cultured and heated until the curd is separate from the whey. Some of the whey is then drained, and water is added. This is called "washing the curd", and creates a sweeter cheese, as the washing removes some of the lactic acid. About ten percent of the mixture is curd which are pressed into circular moulds for several hours. These molds are the essential reason behind its traditional, characteristic shape. The cheese is then soaked in a brine solution which gives the cheese its rind and distinctive taste. The cheese is then dried for a couple of days before being coated to prevent it from drying out, then it is aged. Depending on age classification, it can be everything between a number of weeks to over 7 years before it is ready to be eaten. As it ages it develops a caramel sweetness and sometimes has a slight crunchiness from salt-like calcium lactate or tyrosine crystals that form in older cheeses...mmmm...reminds me of laraz' mum's taint the other night...caramel sweetness and a slight crunchiness...with a rind to die for...
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and make them re-watch movies like SOUTHERN COMFORT.
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Many times, the cheese is spiced with cloves, caraway seeds, and cumin. That's CUMIN. Not to be confused with me CUMMING all over Laraz's mother.
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Goes well with small salty cheese crackers or Hovis biscuits.
Insert Laraz's mom joke here... ;D -
Are these differences in opinion about CRANK really just about personal taste though? As much as I can appreciate the slow-burn style of some older classic action movies - I fucking LOVE DIRTY HARRY, and to see the effect that movie had on stuff like the first LETHAL WEAPON... Move on to DIE HARD, LAST BOY SCOUT, the styles change, the characters change, but they're all valid and enjoyable in their own way. I do enjoy and understand the differences between these types of movie, but I still enjoy CRANK - it's the newest form of action movie, that's all. Does it have merit? Of course - it's doing something different with the art-form of movie making. Whether or not you think it rocks is just your taste in movies - but it's still a well-made movie.
Or are you all going to start bitching about the fact Michael Mann made COLLATERAL and MIAMI VICE on HD DVD, and it affects the quality of THOSE movies? I wouldn't... -
Goat's milk cheese, goats' cheese, goat cheese or chèvre (French for goat) is cheese made from goat milk. In regions where domesticated goats are kept, many kinds of goat's milk cheeses are produced.
Although cow's milk and goat's milk have similar overall fat contents, the higher proportion of medium-chain fatty acids such as caproic, caprylic and capric acid in goat's milk contributes to the characteristic tart flavor of goat's milk cheese. (These fatty acids take their name from the Latin for goat, capra.)
When chèvre is served hot, it is known as chèvre chaud.
When chèvre is fucked in the ass, it is known as laraz... -
Look at all you pathetic shit talkers! You talk some much garbage, it comes out your mouth! Spud you trying to flip what I say like eminem in 8mile! Aint going to work, you do not have the style or the grace! You are a corn fucker, who belongs in an asylum for rejected groupies of marilyn manson!Nachokoolaid, you come across as one of the fat kids in desperate housewives! The more you speak the more the world dies! Bang your head against a fucking wall and become a full on retard twat like you are! Go eat your wifes period and die! Go to a fucking bath-house and get aids and pill over like Tom Hanks did! Anyone who doubts Jason Statham and his films needto fuck off and die like the cowards that they are! Schultz I dont have a problem with jews, just you! You are one who's grand parents should of died in the ghettos, your a waste of life, and a waste of air! Die mother fucker die! Like my homie Scarface would say! As far as your chesse love, why dont all of you eat that chesse, stick it up each others asses! Fuck each other till your assholes are nice and tight! & wait for Zedd to show up and the real gay orgy can begin! You all belong to the Church of Queer! As far as Vern, he is silly, goofy, and dumb! He is the only critic on here that will slam a movie for its genre and not what it is for! So for that i say he is a piece of shit critic who doesnt know a good movie in the wall when he sees one! Harry is the only person on this website that knows what he is talking about half of the fucking time! So Laraz is back, and for all you Jason Statham haters, suck a cock! Bend over and take it like the whores you are! It's 09 bitches, better know that!
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Now you've got the gist of it. You should join the Zone. Right now, all entries are free of charge.
http://zone.aintitcool.com/
Oh, and Laraz sucks. -
PantiesGone is laraz' mom as soon as he gets home from school... -
I just like wide women. Like Laraz's mother.
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..wouldn't have died in the ghettos, they would have died in a brothel.
Fact. -
How can someone become a full retard if they already are one?
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Smegma is the actual name for fremunda cheese. It spreads finely on crackers.
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they did die in a brothel...laraz' mom's vag of horrors swallowed them both up...two for the price of one...like the monterey jack sale I hit up at the store yesterday...
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You fucking wannabe-gangsta-white-middle-class-post-imperialist-guilt-Scarface-wannabe wigger! You bitch-ass fake-ass-handgun-carrying Eminem wannabe sonofabitch! Now I know EVERYTHING I need to know about you! You lie on your bed masturbating to Al Pacino chomping on a Cuban stogie going "FOCKfockfockfockfockfockFOCKfockfockfockFOCKCHOO!FOCKCHOO!!!". You gangsta wannabe bitch. I piss on you, you shadow of a half-human being, you mutant wank-slap, you shitehawk.
And learn to spell "homey", bitch. Represent THAT, homes. -
PantiesGone sounds like a cheese I might enjoy. But I'm such a huge fan of Leyden cheese. It reminds me SO MUCH of Laraz's mother. Especially when she asks me to LEYDEN on top of her.
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Please go drink the cum out of your boyfriends mouth and stop making comments! Havoc hope you go visit isreal and get hit by a bomb via hamas! fievel? Who the fuck are you! Shut up and go lick you dad asshole!
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Cheers for that! Now I feel like I've been invited to the cool club that no-one else knows exists.
Well, now they do. Erm... -
You couldn't be more of an attention-seeking toddler if you wrote FUCK THE WORLD on your monitor in your own faeces, you fucking waste of oxygen. Are you just randomly hitting up Yahoo News in a lame attempt to find stuff in the world we might all be offended by? You may have picked the wrong forum to post on if that's the case, yo. DannyGlover'sDickBlood will tell you to do thing with your dick that even a cumgargling wanksplat such as yourself might blanche at. Do you have any fucking ideas at all about the subject at hand - ie CRANK 2 - or are you just going to sit there wiggling your impotent length at the screen while pissing yourself laughing at your own inane, unintelligible drivel?
Wow. You FACKING CAAAAAAANT. -
You must be from TEXAS because the more you comment back, the more stupid you sound in the world of ACIN!
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It's funny, you seem to be both homophobic and also, at the same time, trying to live vicariously (in a needy way) through other people.
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& it is common knowledge of the isreal palastine conflict! You would have to be living under a rock not to realize this spud!
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I don't say this often. But I would really enjoy having the pleasure of turning you into a light Leyden cheese. Perhaps spreading you over a craker. Maybe as a compliment to a brisk salad. Regardless, I say this because it would, in the end, give me infinite happiness watching you drain down the toilet after I shit out something so ignorant. Cheers.
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Took you awhile to respond back, how was that cum!
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Same as your humour, non-existent.
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If you like cheese so much, go to your frig, place sume in your mouth! Swallow, dont chew, and choke! Cause no one cares what you have to say!
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Though I would not actually mess with TEXAS, unfortunately, you ignorant jizz-swigging fuckmonkey, you've not even got the correct country! AHAHAHAHAAAA!
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Please stop talking, i will be here all night!
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I always saw Laraz as being one of those own-brand cheeses you get at a supermarket. Where it looks horrible enough on sight, but when you sniff the air around it you become violently ill because it stinks of faeces and that odd combination of flop-sweat and blood passed through the penis.
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I won't - I have a life.
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Texas is not a country it is a state!
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Laraz, you care. You really do.
"Swallow, dont chew, and choke!"
Funny you should say those exact words. Your mother heard them last night. -
You think Laraz is one person! Hahahahahahahaha! We do have lifes!
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Everything that you guys say to me, i have already said, way before you though of making it a punch! That is why you guys suck as enemies of LARAZ!
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All of you lame ass monkey fuckers! Jason Statham still rocks, while all you hates suck cocks!
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Transporter vs. Crank
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You forgot the 'r'. It's 'haters', not 'hates' - idiot.
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Zeddmore dont you got an hiv orgy to attend!
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Obviously so fucking dumb he doesn't realise I actually think Statham rocks.
and regardless of what Texas is, I was referring to the fact that Texas is in the USA. I am not in fact in the USA - which makes you a fuckmonkey.
Go, Laraz, go! EAT SHIT AND DIIIIIIIIEEE!!! -
That movie will own. I'm first in line.
Good night, all. See ya in the Zone... -
Sitting in a tree. Why are they fucking when they could be eating brie?
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Fraid not, sir. I'm an abstintant straight guy... so now you can make jokes about that.
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I am laughing at the thought that all of you tools still keep responding to me! It goes to show that you all are really are douchbag life-less smurf fucking losers! HA! Spud I know statham rocks! Yet I do not think he would want a cum eating uncle fucker of a fan like you!
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And wierdly, so did my 50 year old mother...she had a fucking great time with that flick.
Is Vern the one who likes Seagal movies?? If so, he really should be careful when discussing matters of taste. Even if he isn't, just because the pace is lightning quick doesn't mean there was no thought behind it - in fact there was probably more.
As a previous TB'er mentioned, you could see everything you needed to in every frame of Crank...you telling me that happened by accident? Bullshit Vern!
Laraz?? Just fuck off yeah? No long and funny sex laced insults hurled at your unfortunate mother, just fuck off and never come back.
You are a waste......of skin, time, air, whatever. Just go away. -
Statham can do better.
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Is a great drink! Being abstintant! Well glad you said that! You admit you have blue-ball everyday! How low can you go!
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Go take a running leap off a rolling doughnut, you troll-posting sack of garbage. Yeah, most of us are posting online - but we're not practicing the contradictory concept of acting like we're 'above' posting online while continually posting. You're a pathetic sycophantic loser whose every post suggests self-hatred that you manifest in making jokes about the 'queers' who are happier than you are.
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I bet your 50 year old mother would love your cock in her mouth! Or mine, wouldnt bother me none, as long as she has a hole that is wet!
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I admitted it ages ago, dickhead.
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Laraz, you're pathetic. End of.
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It's Israel and Palestine. Learn to spell before you start hitting keys like a monkey.
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Just so you know, your not getting laid ass will not get the last word! You are a good foe, but you have already lost the war!
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Shut the fuck up! no one cares what you have to say! alot of people miss spell when typing fast! go write in your emo fucking journal and eat an apple queer!
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Congrats on the flowery and awesome use of joining swears....wanksplat in particular was a favourite.
Where are you in Blighty?? I'm in Blackpool. -
My mother would break you in half you pimply little fuck. Did you learn all these big, nasty words while your Dad was probing your little cornhole? Enjoy your 5 seconds of fame dipshit, you will be forgotten by all at the end of this sentence.
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Keep fighting the good fight.
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if you have anything to say about the film, then say it. If not, take your insults and please fuck off to somewhere else. I actually checked out this TB to find readers with opinions on the film, and all I find are a bunch of people calling eachother names. It's Not Cool, not Cool.
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See what i did? Forgot to honour my own plea in the first post.
I don't even think the premise of the film is cool. It's like SPEED. It's like a Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock movie.. -
Thanks for responding. When you mentioned the zooming into the heart thing I immediately thought of how well it was employed in Three Kings and countless films that have squeezed poignancy out of split screen. I think this might be one of the problems for you being in a position where you follow these films from conception, way before the general public. Another good example would be this sites coverage of Soldier and how disappointing it was compared to what it could have been. I'm not saying Soldier is good but when your waiting for a film to gestate for as long as you do based on a premise like Crank I can see how you would consider the end product to feel 'cheap'.
I remember first reading about Crank in its Empire review. They gave it 4 stars and warned the viewer about this completely bugnuts cartoonish action film that stands out as an original among so many generic, high budget, bloodless action movies in recent years. I can see how a premise which could have given us another SPEED, would have pissed you off at how cheap looking it ended up.
In my opinion, having just gone through film school, I can say that the most likeable and enjoyable student films were the ones where none of the key production departments vastly overreached the others. I'm so sick to death of films with slim plot and characterization and production values that are through the roof. Its disjointed in its ambition.
With the cheap production value of Crank, it felt honest in its ambition and I feel like these paper thin characters and its ridiculously cartoonish, tongue in cheek premise would have fallen flat if its production had greater depth then the script. Whether or not these guys are shitheads, it feels like a great marriage of style and material. You can hate Brett Ratner but love Rush Hour 2 know what I mean. You can hate Michael Bay but have a soft spot for The Rock (which is Criterion!!). As long as its not Pearl Harbor and the style doesn't clash with the weighty material.
Hope to hear more from you. -
It was fun once. But on second viewing it was just lame.
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The production values on this look awesome. Its Dolph Lundgren as a drummer doing die hard at a rock concert: http://twitchfilm.net/site/view/20916/
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Cheese and Laraz = Fine reading
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Hey! I thought I'd be in bed by now, but fuck it, BSG's on Sky2 so here I am.
I'm actually in the Midlands, down the A52 from Nottingham. We have a long and proud history of joining swears to make nonsensical yet strangely lyrical new insults, and I'm trying to keep alive the particular "shitehawk" (no idea what one is, but it works as a noun - "You fucking shitehawk!". Sounds like a rejected X-Men name). And then there's "cow's bastard", as in "I don't give a cow's bastard what you think!". More evocative yet abjectly stupid swear-words have never been spoken. Laraz dreams of having a vocabulary this expansive - he's still struggling with basic English. -
I'm just having Lincolnshire Poacher's cheese, made from Holstein cows' milk. It's hard, quite bitter, with a creamy aftertaste that's particularly good melted over bacon and splashed with woodsmoke marbecue sauce on a ciabatta roll. Which, coincidentally, is what I'm having right now.
Oh, and Starbuck's going apeshit on this episode, which is either 1 or 2 of Season 4. -
But you culinary enthusiasts have already guessed that, haven't you?
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I've been visiting this site for around five or six years and this has got to be the single worst talkback i've ever read... This is a movie news site - come on guys - get with the program or don't post!
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It's late at night (in the UK at least), there's a particularly obnoxious troll around these parts, and we're talking about a film that really can't be discussed because it's such a polarising, singular style movie. CRANK 2 - you love it or you hate it. It's the US Marmite of the silver screen. And unlike my feelings toward Marmite in real life, I LOVE the look and feel of CRANK 2. Juice me up, baby!
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Holy shit! Where did that guy come from?! Did he sneak in before Talkback registration was freezed?Quote: "Your brain waves are about the size of my balls!"HA! Pwned himself.
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Jan 15, 2009 7:39:20 PM CST
LIVE LINK HERE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GX8-OXdoixk
by zipperhead
Was he really about to shove a shotgun up someone's ass?
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He actually had all of us picturing his balls and contemplating their size. At least I did.
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"Laraz, you care. You really do."
"Swallow, dont chew, and choke!"
"Funny you should say those exact words. Your mother heard them last night."
His mom would be the type to talk with her full, wouldn't she.
All this piece of comedy gold needs to be perfect is some nice Colby-Jack. Melted.
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MaguasSynfield & Nice Gaius+Spud+Everyone that likes to talk back to the Mighty LARAZ=Can suck a Cock! Your all a bunch of lion rapers! You like to vomit in each others assholes! Jason Statham is king! You all suck cocks! & you all can die! Laraz always has the last word you fucking harry potter loving pedophiles!
-
Here is a BIO of the great Jason Statham from wikipedia! Enjoy you cock-smokers!
Statham was born in Sydenham, south-east London. He was the second son of a lounge singer and dressmaker-turned-dancer. He grew up initially following in his parents' footsteps to master the art of street theatre. He also played football for the local grammar school (1978-83), but his real passion was diving -- in particular, he finished 12th in the World Championships in 1992. He was also a member of Britain's National Diving Squad for twelve years.
Statham's life in media began when he was spotted by a talent agent specializing in athletes while training at London's Crystal Palace National Sports Centre. Afterwards, he became a model for the clothing brand French Connection where he was introduced to fledgling British director Guy Ritchie. Ritchie was working on a film project and needed to fill the role of a street-wise con artist. After learning about Statham's past, Ritchie cast him to play the role of "Bacon" in Ritchie's breakout 1998 hit, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. The movie was well received by both critics and audiences, which helped catapult the unknown actor into the public eye. Statham's second collaboration with Ritchie came in the 2000 film Snatch. Cast alongside popular actors Brad Pitt, Dennis Farina and Benicio del Toro, and with the movie earning more than $80 million in box-office revenues, Statham was able to break into Hollywood and appeared in two movies in 2001: Ghosts of Mars and The One.
Statham was offered more film roles, and in 2002 was cast as the lead role of driver Frank Martin in the action movie The Transporter, in which his background in martial arts enabled him to do most of his own stunts. A sequel, Transporter 2, followed in 2005. A third Transporter film was released in 2008, with Jason reprising his previous role again. He also appeared in supporting roles in The Italian Job (2003) (in which he also played a driver)[5] and Cellular (2004), and had a cameo in Collateral before taking the lead role in Crank (2006). Statham compares his role in Crank to his real life in the September 2006 issue of Maxim Magazine In 2005, Statham was once again cast by Ritchie to star in his new project, Revolver, and also starred in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, which was released in the U.S. in 2008. His most recent releases were the action films Death Race and Transporter 3. Statham's upcoming releases include Crank 2: High Voltage.
Statham is currently developing a film written by David Peoples and Janet Peoples (Twelve Monkeys). Titled The Grabbers, the film (according to Statham) will be in the same vein as Humphrey Bogart’s classic The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. Statham said “We’ve got a movie we’re trying to do, written by David Peoples and Janet Peoples, in the vein of an old film, The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. It’s not a remake or anything, but it’s a little bit like that, about relationships and how greed contaminates the relationships these three people have. The working title is The Grabbers."
Statham dated English model and actress Kelly Brook for seven years but the couple split when she met actor Billy Zane on the set of Survival Island, also known as Three. In 2005, Statham dated former Bardot singer Sophie Monk but they are no longer together. Statham has also played soccer with Hollywood United F.C., a star-studded amateur team
(This man is greatness!) -
The trailer rules. http://tinyurl.com/8k57vp
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...last word.
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Laraz always has the last word, and so shall I know! Because I am THE TRANSPORTER!
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But he doesn't.
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fuck you aicheliosn
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I want the last piece of cheese...
Fuck knows there's no piece of Laraz' mom left...
And Statham will fuck our ear holes in The Expendables...
All he needs is one BIG hit...he's had some modest successes...but he needs one major film and he'll be good to go...
I don't think Crank 2 will be that film...
But I think he's got it in him...which is the same thing Laraz' dad said when Laraz' mom asked him where Laraz left their copy of Transporter 2... -
this is a guilty pleasure sorta flick, I guess. Loves me some Tasty Coma Wife
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Dannyglovers-dickblood. I notice he goes silent whenever Laraz is posting. Also, some of the verbage/vile imagery & putdowns sound vaugly simular. Just a hunch...
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...it looked like Jason Statham might be a really neat actor. You know, after Lock, Stock and Snatch. Ah, the memories...
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Since a few days. And why the fuck is this rated R? Because of the few "fucks"? Or because you can see half a tit for half a second?It looked even shittier in HD. Crank 2 my ass.
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I had some HD cheese the other day. It was off da hook! Smelled like sweat. Tasted like heaven.
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Watched the trailer in HD on IGN. It's fucking amazing.
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I missed the cheese war.Oh hell,one last parting shot couldn't hurt.Laraz does so love his cheese, after all.Head cheese in particular.Not the boiled down pig's skull kind either.The type he gratefully pumps out of his father's member using only his mouth.Though if he's been bad, he's sent to bed without a helping,and cries himself to sleep.I imagine he'll be sorely disappointed tonight.Naughty naughty, young man.
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the more i want to see it. like i said before, if it entertains, even as audacious as it is, i'm there.
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statham probably doesnt give a shit
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Depending on what word you apply to this, that's where the debate begins and ends. It's all a matter of taste! (I think it's less audacious and more obnoxious, but I don't care if nobody here agrees with me). Good day, sirs!
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we're in the Caligula stage, fellas.
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I liked the first one. But really, once is enough. I really don't know what else to say.
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If you think CRANK 2 is representative of the Caligula stage of the declining Western civilisation...
You should watc some of the reality shit we have on in the UK these days. All CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER is missing are chainsaws, a crowd chanting "Two go in! One comes out!" and a thunderdome. You could have Vern on Tina Malone's back, vs Coolio as the new Mad Max.
I'd buy THAT for a dollar! -
Not me. Sadly I don't have another username. I used to-- but they got the boot. And you still can't add new ones yet. Why does he sound like me? Because he says CUM and CUNT a lot?
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...I want to know is THAT character Frank Martin?!
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That's what I'd like to think anyway.
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It may just be that this Talkback was subject to a raid (aka laraz) by certain members of The Zone.Just a theory...
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Nothing makes me smell more. Well.....except for hot chicks squatting right over my face and farting. I like the wet bubbling sound of a chick's asshole after you've spit on it for 20 minutes. It sounds like when you stick a straw in a bowl of jello and blow.For some reason this all brings me back to Crank 2 excitement. Maybe its something to do with Jenna Haze.
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Is DocP down with the Crank?
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Jan 16, 2009 10:56:06 AM CST
DGDB - THANKS FOR THAT VIVID DESCRIPTION. RIGHT BEFORE LUNCH.
by bringingsexyback
Christ, man.
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I meant to say SMILE more.....but either way works.
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this looks to be so retarded that it might just cross over into awesome & hilarious. in that smacking-yourself-in-the-forehead sort of way where you can almost read it as a parody (by the way, has anyone seen the trailer for "The Soloist"? That's gotta be a joke...) Or when you get home, wasted, and it's on tv a la Hardbodies (but w/explosions) or the Surreal Life (but w/ more fucking and explosions) or Leprechaun in Space.
Or maybe I'm just feeling charitable? It IS bsg day after all. Happy BSG Day! Jason Statham sucks! -
Not sure but I think DocPaz has stated many times that he's a big fan of "The Stath".Regarding your post at 10:53:49 AM......seriously, WTF.
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Loved the first film, this looks excellent.
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There is no cure.
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Eh....I was fucking around. Though my feelings on that matter were genuine.
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Hhhhmmmmm........I might have to rethink my hatred for him and focus full strength on all things Will Ferrell.
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You need a Crank 2, and I need a crank, too. For pulling core samples out of aging cheeses, of course. You crank the rod in the middle of the cheese and pull out a plug for sampling. This is, coincidntally, very similar to what I did with laraz's mom last night.
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Considering how it was that you two somehow got off on the wrong foot, that might not be a bad idea.
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Okay. I call a truce. As long as he doesn't come at me like a scolding Den-Mother every time he disagrees with me....I won't seek him out for punishment.
I HAVE NO QUARREL WITH YOU DOC! -
I like cheddar.
It's pretty much the only cheese I eat. I should try more types of cheese.
I feel like I've let the zone down... -
....I've really gotten into these past few years. Its sorta like a provolone with a little bit of a kick.
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Just flaunt your superior cheese knowledge right after I open my heart and admit my lack of cheese experience.
Bastard!! -
Nothing better than Mootzarelle.
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....fuck that pasteurized cum of Satan.
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does this seem significantly lower budgeted than the first?
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Jan 16, 2009 3:34:15 PM CST
its just you man..... STATHAM = JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Seriously, it should help with those anger issues and your impotence problems. Poor cheeseless douchewhistle...
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You can't get that around here.
Knuckle walking primates.... -
If you do like Crank you're a frat boy.
I like a film that's this polarizing. -
"I'm Chev Chelios and today I lost my body. I need to find my body before it's too late!" (Rolling Head down the street) "Ahhh! I'm gonna bite ya ankle!" Rated R!
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I know I'm late to the party, but if you're going to criticize someone for their bad spelling and 'grammer,' you may want to spell it right :P
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