I am – Hercules!!
"24" is down. "Damages" is down. "Scrubs" is down. "Biggest Loser," "The Bachelor" and "The Real World" are up. How's your favorite show doing at midseason? The stats I cite below are preliminary 18-49 ratings (for non-repeats only). MONDAY 1/5 UT Vs. OS (Fox) 5.5 The Bachelor (ABC) 3.1 True Beauty (ABC) 3.1 Superstars of Dance (NBC) 2.7 Momma’s Boys (NBC) 2.0 Gossip Girl (CW) 1.4 One Tree Hill (CW) 1.2 Competition-reality dominates Monday. “True Beauty,” which roundly mocks the morals and intelligence of very good-looking people, held on to virtually all of “The Bachelor’s” strong debut demo numbers. (I believe “Beauty” is my favorite new network reality series since “Wipeout.” The contestants think they’re on a “America’s Next Top Model” ripoff, but the loser at the end of every show learns that he or she has secretly been participating in a cross between “Joe Schmo” and “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader.”) Were I running ABC, I would move “Beauty” to 9:30 to keep building on its post-“Bachelor” momentum and shove weakling returning sitcom “Samantha Who?” to 10:30; it would have been a good defensive position against the return of CBS’ comedies and “CSI Miami” tonight. Last Monday’s best reality show, Texas’ season-ending victory over Ohio, was of course the night’s – and very nearly the week’s – top draw. TUESDAY 1/6 The Biggest Loser (NBC) 4.4 The Mentalist (CBS) 3.9 Law & Order: SVU (NBC) 3.9 NCIS (CBS) 3.7 Scrubs (ABC) 3.2 Scrubs (ABC) 3.1 Without A Trace (CBS) 2.7 Primetime (ABC) 2.7 Homeland Security USA (ABC) 2.3 90210 (CW) 1.4 Privileged (CW) 0.8 Competition-reality crushes on Tuesday as well, with “Biggest Loser” garnering its biggest debut ratings ever. “Scrubs,” which no longer has top NBC sitcom “The Office” as its lead-in, saw an 18% plummet compared to its debut last year. “Scrubs” prospects should grow even grimmer with the return of world-killer “American Idol” tomorrow night. WEDNESDAY 1/7 Barbara Walters: Patrick Swayze (ABC) 3.0 Law & Order (NBC) 3.0 People’s Choice Awards (CBS) 2.9 Stylista (CW) 1.1 13: Fear Is Real (CW) 1.1 With almost all of the regular Wednesday shows dark, the floundering “Law & Order” mothership managed to match its season high. “American Idol” and “Lost” return this week and next to crush everything in their paths. THURSDAY 1/8 BCS Championship (Fox) 9.5 Grey’s Anatomy (ABC) 5.1 Private Practice (ABC) 3.3 ER (NBC) 2.6 Ugly Betty (ABC) 2.4 30 Rock (NBC) 2.3 My Name Is Earl (NBC) 2.0 Kath & Kim (NBC) 1.7 Last Thursday demonstrated how important “The Office” remains to NBC’s Thursday-night survival now that SNL Thursdays are history; with no new fresh Schrute the peacock’s otherwise non-repeat Thursday night flew apart – even with its dominant CBS competition in repeats. In its first pairing with its higher-rated sister show "Grey's Anatomy," ABC’s “Private Practice” handed the Stamos-crippled “ER” its first defeat of the season. Both “CSI” and "The Office" return this week. “Survivor” will return to crushing all comers at 8 p.m. when it returns Feb. 12. FRIDAY 1/9 Ghost Whisperer (CBS) 2.5 Numb3rs (CBS) 2.4 20/20 (ABC) 2.2 Flashpoint (CBS) 2.1 Howie Do It (NBC) 2.1 Supernanny (ABC) 1.9 Wife Swap (ABC) 1.6 Dateline (NBC) 1.3 Lipstick Jungle (NBC) 1.3 Many curious viewers with nothing better to do on a Friday night tuned in to see Howie Mandel’s horrible prank show. Because “Friday Night Lights” returns to Fridays this week, “Lipstick Jungle” went away, almost certainly forever. SUNDAY 1/11 Desperate Housewives (ABC) 5.2 Golden Globes (NBC) 4.8 24 (Fox) 4.2 60 Minutes (CBS) 4.0 Extreme Makeover (ABC) 3.4 Brothers & Sister (ABC) 3.4 Cold Case (CBS) 3.0 The Unit (CBS) 2.7 Yesterday’s “Golden Globes” was the lowest-rated since NBC started airing the show in 1996. (Perhaps the Hollywood Foreign Press Association should consider reviving its fortunes by renaming itself The Hollywood Award-Givers Association, an arguably more accurate designation.) “24,” with its best (qualitatively) two hours in years, was down 31% from its 2007 premiere. CABLE While “The Hills” and its equally craptacular spinoffs are struggling, MTV’s “The Real World: Brooklyn” was up 18% from he debut of last year’s “Real World: Hollywood.” FX’s best show, “Damages,” was sadly down 44% from its July 2007 premiere. The good news is FX has already ordered its third season, so the channel will be forced to give us great TV despite the anemic ratings. For far more thorough, in-depth and intelligent ratings analysis, I refer you to James Hibberd’s excellent Live Feed Blog.

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