Cool News
LA Readers! AICN's Giving Away Tix For The New Beverly's Festival Of Swords And Sorcery! Ride With Prince Talon! Soar With Yor!
Beaks here...
While many of my fellow Los Angelenos are preparing for ten straight days of quiet, sensitive, integrity-ridden independent cinema up in Park City, I'm getting psyched for ten straight hours of loud, boorish, boob-laden sword-and-sorcery flicks at The New Beverly on January 17th. And if you live in L.A., I'd like you to join me.
I mean, how can you say no to blowing a football-less Saturday on these five masterworks from the 1980s:
BARBARIAN QUEEN (starring the late Lana Clarkson!)
THE SWORD AND THE SORCERER (Horsley! MacCorkindale! Pyun!)
CONAN THE BARBARIAN (What is best in life?)
DEATHSTALKER II (Wynorski!)
...and at midnight...
YOR, THE HUNTER FROM THE FUTURE (Big Reb!)
Most of these movies are hard to find on DVD and are rarely, if ever, screened, so if this is your type of thing, you really need to be clearing your schedule and donning your loincloth.
The Festival of Swords and Sorcery begins on January 17th at 4 PM and should be getting out sometime around 2 AM Sunday morning. Admission will be a very reasonable $10, but twenty of you will be attending free of charge thanks to the generous Phil Blankenship. All you have to do is send me an email (subject header: "Crom") with your full name and the title of your favorite Jim Wynorski movie (other than DEATHSTALKER II).Deadline for entries will be Noon PST on Friday, January 16th. I will select the winners randomly.
On the fence? Here are some trailers to whet the ol' bloodlust.
THE SWORD AND THE SORCERER
DEATHSTALKER II (NSFW)
CONAN THE BARBARIAN
YOR THE HUNTER FROM THE FUTURE
See you there...
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zing
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I had forgotten how ultra-hot Monique Gabrielle was back in the 80's. DAMN.
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I just got done watching Yor like two minutes ago. I taped it off TCM Underground months ago and finally got around to watching it. It's one weird fucking movie. Goes from being a Conan rip-off to a Star Wars rip-off 3/4 of the way through. I hate the term "So bad it's good", but Yor falls into the category, "So bad you can't take your eyes off of it." Great theme song though.
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They remake every crappy 80s TV show..why not this wonderfully entertaining crappy 80s movie?
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we get bad sword and sorcery movies...what are we...troglodytes???
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There've been a ton of articles recently about the sequel to Sword and the Sorcerer. It's currently filming. (TALES OF AN ANCIENT EMPIRE.)
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I love that place. Once I was there for a screening of Bridge on the RIver Kwai b/w Guns of the Navarone, and I saw Erika Christensen there by herself. (How much hotter does that make Ms. Christensen that she would go to see a screening of Bridge on the River Kwai by herself?) In between the films there was a little intermission, and everyone moved into the packed little concessions area to stretch their legs. I was about a foot away from her--didn't say anything because I didn't want to bother her, lol--and it was funny because the crowd was so old that no one knew who she was so no one paid her any mind. It was awkward. She just stood there by herself almost like she wanted someone to speak to her. I also saw Clu Gulagher come in that same night. Both times I went to the New Beverly Mr. Gulagher was there. He snuck in about a third of the way through the film both times and sat in the front row both times. Cool fucking theater.
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That's an AMAZING line-up. Conan's a bit out of place, though, seeing as it's actually a really good movie.
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Sounds like Queen's Flash Gordon Theme if Freddy Mercury was like seven times gayer than he already was. That is to say, it fucking rocks.
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I have this on DVD. Good tongue in cheek fun...with boobs!
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Hands down the best fucking theme song EVER.
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True story: my family had a videodisc player when I was a kid and we rented Yor and The Black Hole so often that when the local video store switched over to VHS and was selling off its videodiscs the proprietor just gave us the videodiscs of those two movies.
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I remember sitting in the theater watching that when it was released. Never taken a Golan/Globus movie seriously since. Those guys' early films make the worst/campiest episodes of Herculoid or Xena look like classic Masterpiece Theater.
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Best line of YOR.
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Looks like a lot of fun.
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I may be getting the name wrong, but I think that's it. Saw it when I was a kid on the Showtime channel, and haven't heard or seen anything of it since. I remember it being a fairly low-budget sword & sorcery flick, and fairly grim, in the sense of most protagonists not making it to the end. I remember little more than that. Any obscure-fantasy-o-philes care to take a crack at it?
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"When I was a kid" isn't too informative, I guess!
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No wai.
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http://tinyurl.com/2d6v5t
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http://tinyurl.com/7udrwr
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Anyone who would go to this thing is a fucking loser! I mean I used to pick on Star Trek fans, but shit! This one takes the fucking cake! You guys make Star Trek geeks, look like Hip-Hop Gods! Or even better, you make them look cool! You guys make StarGate Nerds come across as slick! Dam! I mean really, could you guys of came up with something better to go see! Or have a film festivle for! Hell watching hours upon hours of Gay Porn would be more thrilling then having to see Conan again! Or any of these fucking throw-away movies you Losers have on this list! Here is a thought, go out in to the day light! Or here is another thought! Fuck Off & go suck on your mothers tit, because that is the only action you are ever going to get! Thanks for posting this lame ass dork festivale! You guys just made me realize how fucking awesome and cool i reallt am! So fuck off! Losers!!!!
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I can see why you bully children -- because you are the oldest and tallest student in the 8th grade.
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Hey fuck face! So what if I was off on my spelling a tad! It usually happens with anyone in here, that can type faster than it took you to come up with that remark! Go fuck your mother and father! Laraz, always has the last say! Go jerk off to Conan with all your other douchbag fuck wadS!
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Should have been Hawk The Slayer (greatest elf ever). Deathstalker 2 isn't a patch on the original.
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KRULL!
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"...then TO HELL WITH YOU!!" Say this line out loud with the best Arnie voice you can muster. The chicks will love it. ^_^
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Best fantasy movie EVER!
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It looks like it's both stranger and worse than I remembered it, but then I haven't seen or heard of it since I was 9. One word off, and Google comes up empty!Catching up with this one will be fun, no matter how cheesy it might be--thanks for solving the riddle for me!
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This town aint big enough for both of us...
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will probably end you up in jail. Don't drop the soap.Also -- the last word? Milquetoast insults are hardly getting the last word. Go get an education, first, and then come back and attempt to be clever.
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would've figured it out for you. Like all movies from your younger days, it's best to try to watch them from the perspective of the times and your age, then.
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Deathstalker 3 was da shit too. Troxartes, one night only!
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