I am – Hercules!!


Will the Hollywood Foreign Press Association's latest slate of winners, revealed tonight, mollify the legions who consider the Golden Globes bullshit awards, publicist tools bestowed mostly by cabdrivers and waiters?

I imagine the organization will pick “Slumdog Millionaire” as its best feature drama. That seems to be what most other award-givers are picking:

International Press Academy:
DRAMA: Slumdog Millionaire
COMEDY: Happy-Go-Lucky

The National Board of Review:
Slumdog Millionaire

Broadcast Film Critics:
Slumdog Millionaire

London Film Critics:
Slumdog Millionaire

Detroit Film Critics:
Slumdog Millionaire

Dallas/Fort Worth Film Critics:
Slumdog Millionaire

Florida Film Critics:
Slumdog Millionaire

D.C. Area Film Critics:
Slumdog Millionaire

Boston Film Critics:
(tie) Slumdog Millionaire & WALL-E

Los Angeles Film Critics:
WALL-E

Chicago Film Critics:
WALL-E

Utah Film Critics:
The Dark Knight

Austin Film Critics:
The Dark Knight

New York Film Critics:
Milk

San Francisco Film Critics:
Milk

Las Vegas Film Critics:
Frost/Nixon

St. Louis Film Critics:
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Toronto Film Critics:
Wendy and Lucy

National Society of Film Critics:
Waltz With Bashir

Harry Knowles' top 10, as posted in Ain't It Cool News:
1. Let The Right One In
2. The Dark Knight
3. The Wrestler
4. WALL-E
5. The Brothers Bloom
6. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
7. Milk
8. Pineapple Express
9. Slumdog Millionaire
10. Burn After Reading
(best documentary: Man on Wire)

Jay Knowles' top 10, as posted in Ain't It Cool News:
1. The Dark Knight
2. Let the Right One In
3. WALL-E
4. The Wrestler
5. Milk
6. Man on Wire
7. Burn After Reading
8. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
9. Slumdog Millionaire
10. Iron Man

"Capone's" top 10, as posted in Ain't It Cool News:
1. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
2. WALL-E
3. Let The Right One In
4. Slumdog Millionaire
5. The Wrestler
6. The Dark Knight
7. The Fall
8. Snow Angels
9. Milk
10. Tropic Thunder
(best documentary: Dear Zachary)

Roger Ebert’s top 20, as published in The Chicago Sun-Times:
Ballast
The Band’s Visit
Che
Chop Shop
The Dark Knight
Doubt
The Fall
Frost/Nixon
Frozen River
Happy-Go-Lucky
Iron Man
Milk
Rachel Getting Married
The Reader
Revolutionary Road
Shotgun Stories
Slumdog Millionaire
Synecdoche, New York
W
WALL-E

Michael Phillips' top 10, as published in the Chicago Tribune:
1. WALL-E
2. The Class
3. A Christmas Tale
4. Let The Right One In
5. The Flight of the Red Balloon
6. Alexandra
7. Man on Wire
8. Snow Angels
9. Still Life
10. The Dark Knight

Manohla Dargis’s top picks, as published in the New York Times:
Alexandra
The Dark Knight
Encounters At The End Of The World
The Flight of the Red Balloon
Happy-Go-Lucky
Milk
Silent Light
Still Life
Synecdoche, New York
Wendy and Lucy

Kenneth Turan’s top picks, as published in the Los Angeles Times:
Ballast
A Christmas Tale
The Class
Frost/Nixon
Frozen River
Gomorrah
Happy-Go-Lucky
Rachel Getting Married
Slumdog Millionaire
Tell No One
WALL-E
Waltz With Bashir
Plus four Sundance documentaries ("Man on Wire," " Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired," "Stranded" and "Trouble the Water")

Richard Corliss’ top 10, as published in Time Magazine:
1. WALL-E
2. Synecdoche, New York
3. My Winnipeg
4. 4 Months, 3 Weeks & 2 Days
5. Milk
6. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
7. Slumdog Millionaire
8. Iron Man
9. Speed Racer
10. Encounters At The End of the World

David Ansen's top 10, as published in Newsweek:
1. Let the Right One In
2. Encounters at the End of the World
3. Wendy and Lucy
4. Frost/Nixon
5. Man on Wire
6. Silent Light
7. The Wrestler
8. Tropic Thunder
9. (tie) Wall-e and Waltz With Bashir

Stephen King's top 10, as published in Entertainment Weekly:
1. The Dark Knight
2. Slumdog Millionaire
3. WALL-E
4. Tropic Thunder
5. Funny Games
6. The Bank Job
7. Lakeview Terrace
8. The Ruins
9. Redbelt
10. Death Race

Lisa Schwarzbaum's Top 10, as published in Entertainment Weekly:
1. WALL-E
2. Milk
3. The Dark Knight
4. Waltz With Bashir
5. Gomorra
6. Wendy and Lucy
7. Trouble The Water
8. Happy-Go-Lucky
9. Man On Wire
10. Tropic Thunder

Owen Glieberman’s Top 10, as published in Entertainment Weekly:
1. The Wrestler
2. The Dark Knight
3. Rachel Getting Married
4. WALL-E
5. Momma’s Man
6. The Edge of Heaven
7. Burn After Reading
8. The Class
9. Milk
10. Tell No One

Drew McWeeny’s Top 10, as posted on hitfix.com:
1. The Wrestler
2. The Good The Bad And The Weird
3. Man On Wire
4. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
5. Let The Right One In
6. Vicky Cristina Barcelona
7. Ex-Drummer
8. The Dark Knight
9. WALL-E
10. Pineapple Express

The American Film Institute's picks:
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
Frost/Nixon
Frozen River
Gran Torino
Iron Man
Milk
WALL-E
Wendy and Lucy
The Wrestler

The People’s Choice Award pick:
The Dark Knight

Members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (HFPA), which bestows the Golden Globes, don't typically write for Der Spiegel or Le Monde or The Guardian or Premiere or Empire or The Times of India or The Toronto Star or The Manila Times.

Some HFPA members claim to work for outlets like "Action Press," "BR International," "Cosas Magazine," "Curentul," "Gioia," "Hot Spots," "International Media Agency," "Lady International," "Novosti," "PWA International," "Dolphin Press" and "Rex Features." Stick some of those names in your favorite search engine and see what comes up. Then try to fathom the sizes of their readerships.

How do those in the know appraise the Globes’ importance?

“Never mind that the [Golden Globe] is considered a joke, given the dubious credentials of the 90-odd foreign journalists who pick the winners.”
-- Peter Travers, Rolling Stone

“Respect? Not much, especially from other journalists, who have publicly called [the Golden Globes voters] moochers, boneheads and bottom-feeders.”
-- Andy Seiler, USA Today

“[The Golden Globe voters are] freeloaders who would sell their votes for a vodka tonic and cross the Alps for a hot dog.”
-- Film historian Aljean Harmetz

“[The Golden Globe voters are] essentially just bottom-feeders around the industry, who've somehow been inflated to this point where their judgment is supposed to be very, very important.”
-- John Powers, L.A. Weekly

“[The Golden Globes represent a case of] let's sell the public a lie."
-- Producer Michael Phillips

"The Globes have long been the entertainment industry’s dirty little secret. At the heart of the con is the Hollywood Foreign Press Assn., the tiny, cliquish group of foreign entertainment journalists – and I use each of those terms liberally – whose votes determine the winners.

The members of the association are not, generally speaking, film experts (like the people who judge the National Society of Film Critics awards) nor are they members of the creative community (like those who give out the Oscars). They’re not even representatives of prominent foreign publications, like Le Monde or the Guardian or Haaretz.

Only a handful are full-time journalists; the rest are freelancers for mostly obscure publications, and some are simply hanging on for the parties and movie stars. To maintain their status in the organization, they need only write four articles a year."
-- Sharon Waxman, The Los Angeles Times

Read the rest of Waxman's illuminating 2008 piece on the Globes here.

If you still care what the HFPA thinks, have a gander at the Globes' nominees, 100%-free of a best-picture nomination for "The Dark Knight":

FILM

BEST FEATURE - DRAMA
"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" - Warner Bros. Pictures and Paramount Pictures; Warner Bros. Pictures and Paramount Pictures
"Frost/Nixon" - Imagine Entertainment, Working Title, Studio Canal; Universal Pictures
"The Reader" - Mirage Enterprises; The Weinstein Company
"Revolutionary Road" - An Evamere Entertainment BBC Films Neal Street Production; DreamWorks Pictures in Association with BBC Films and Paramount Vantage
"Slumdog Millionaire" -Fox Searchlight Pictures and Warner Bros.; Fox Searchlight Pictures and Warner Bros.

BEST FEATURE - COMEDY
"Burn After Reading" - Working Title/Releasing Company; Focus Features in association with Studio Canal
"Happy-Go-Lucky" - Summit Entertainment, Film4, Ingenious Film Partners, Miramax Films; Miramax Films
"In Bruges" - Blueprint Pictures; Focus Features
"Mamma Mia!" - Relativity Media, Playtone, Littlestar; Universal Pictures
"Vicky Cristina Barcelona" - Mediapro; The Weinstein Company

ACTOR - DRAMA
Leonardo DiCaprio - "Revolutionary Road"
Frank Langella - "Frost/Nixon"
Sean Penn - "Milk"
Brad Pitt - "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"
Mickey Rouke - "The Wrestler"

ACTRESS - DRAMA
Anne Hathaway - "Rachel Getting Married"
Angelina Jolie - "Changeling"
Meryl Streep - "Doubt"
Kristin Scott Thomas - "I've Loved You So Long"
Kate Winslet - "Revolutionary Road"

ACTOR - COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Javier Bardem - "Vicky Cristina Barcelona"
Colin Farrell - "In Bruges"
James Franco - "Pineapple Express"
Brendan Gleeson - "In Bruges"
Dustin Hoffman - "Last Chance Harvey"

ACTRESS - COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Rebecca Hall - "Vicky Cristina Barcelona"
Sally Hawkins - "Happy-Go-Lucky"
Frances McDormand - "Burn After Reading"
Meryl Streep - "Mamma Mia!"
Emma Thompson - "Last Chance Harvey"

DIRECTOR – MOTION PICTURE
Danny Boyle - "Slumdog Millionaire"
Stephen Daldry -"The Reader"
David Fincher -"The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button"
Ron Howard - "Frost/Nixon"
Sam Mendes -"Revolutionary Road"

SUPPORTING ACTOR
Tom Cruise - "Tropic Thunder"
Robert Downey Jr. - "Tropic Thunder"
Ralph Fiennes - "The Duchess"
Philip Seymour Hoffman - "Doubt"
Heath Ledger - "The Dark Knight"

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Amy Adams - "Doubt"
Penelope Cruz - "Vicky Cristina Barcelona"
Viola Davis - "Doubt"
Marisa Tomei - "The Wrestler"
Kate Winslet - "The Reader"

SCREENPLAY - MOTION PICTURE
Simon Beaufoy - "Slumdog Millionaire"
David Hare - "The Reader"
Peter Morgan - "Frost/Nixon"
Eric Roth - "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"
John Patrick Shanley - "Doubt"

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
"The Baader Meinhof Complex" ("Der Baader Meinhof Komplex")(Germany) - Constantin Film Produktion GmbH; Summit Entertainment, LLC
"Everlasting Moments" ("Maria larssons eviga ögonblick") (Sweden) - Final Cut Productions Aps; IFC Films
"Gomorrah" ("Gomorra") (Italy) - Fandango; IFC Films
"I've Loved You So Long" ("Il y a longtemps que je t’aime") (France) - UGC YM/UGC Images/France 3 Cinema/Integral Film; Sony Pictures Classics
"Waltz with Bashir" (Israel) - Bridgit Folman Film Gang/Les Films D'Ici/Razor Films/Arte France/ITVS International; Sony Pictures

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
"Bolt" - Walt Disney Pictures; Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
"Kung Fu Panda" - DreamWorks Animation SKG; Paramount Pictures
"Wall-E" - Walt Disney Pictures and Pixar Animation Studios; Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

BEST SCORE
Alexandre Desplat - "The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button"
Clint Eastwood - "Changeling"
James Newton Howard - "Defiance"
A. R. Rahman - "Slumdog Millionaire"
Hans Zimmer - "Frost/Nixon"

BEST ORIGINAL SONG

"Down To Earth" from "Wall-E" - Music By: Peter Gabriel, Thomas Newman; Lyrics By: Peter Gabriel
"Gran Torino" from "Gran Torino" - Music By: Clint Eastwood, Jamie Cullum, Kyle Eastwood, Michael Stevens; Lyrics By: Kyle Eastwood, Michael Stevens
"I Thought I Lost You" from "Bolt" - Music & Lyrics By: Miley Cyrus, Jeffrey Steele
"Once In A Lifetime" from "Cadillac Records"
Music & Lyrics By: Beyoncé Knowles, Amanda Ghost, Scott Mcfarnon, Ian Dench, James Dring, Jody Street
"The Wrestler" from "The Wrestler" - Music & Lyrics By: Bruce Springsteen

TELEVISION

TELEVISION SERIES - DRAMA
"Dexter" (Showtime) - Showtime/John Goldwyn Productions/The Colleton Company/Clyde Phillips Productions
"House" (Fox) - Universal Media Studios In Association With Heel And Toe Films, Shore Z Productions And Bad Hat Harry Productions
"In Treatment" (HBO) - Sheleg, Closest To The Hole Productions In Association With Hbo Entertainment
"Mad Men" (AMC) - Lionsgate Television
"True Blood" (HBO) - Your Face Goes Here Productions In Association With Hbo Entertainment

TELEVISION SERIES - COMEDY OR MUSICAL
"30 Rock" - Universal Media Studios in association with Broadway Video and Little

Stranger Inc.
"Californication" - Showtime Presents in association with Aggressive Mediocrity, And Then...
"Entourage" - Leverage and Closest to the Hole Productions in association with HBO Entertainment
"The Office" - Deedle Dee Productions, Reveille LLC, Universal Media Studios
"Weeds" - Lionsgate Television

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES - DRAMA
Gabriel Byrne - "In Treatment
Michael C. Hall - "Dexter
Jon Hamm - "Mad Men
Hugh Laurie - "House
Jonathan Rhys Meyers - "The Tudors

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES - DRAMA
Sally Field - "Brothers And Sisters"
Mariska Hargitay - "Law And Order: Special Victims Unit"
January Jones - "Mad Men"
Anna Paquin - "True Blood"
Kyra Sedgwick - "The Closer"

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES -COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Christina Applegate - "Samantha Who?"
America Ferrera - "Ugly Betty"
Tina Fey - "30 Rock"
Debra Messing - "The Starter Wife"
Mary-Louise Parker - "Weeds"

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES - COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Alec Baldwin - "30 Rock"
Steve Carell - "The Office"
Kevin Connelly - "Entourage"
David Duchovny - "Californication"
Tony Shalhoub - "Monk"

MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
"A Raisin in the Sun" - Sony Pictures Television, Storyline Entertainment and Bad Boy Worldwide Entertainment
"Bernard and Doris" - Trigger Street Independent Productions in association with Little Bird and Chicago Films and HBO Films
"Cranford" - A Co-Production of BBC and WGBH Boston.
"John Adams" - Playtone in association with HBO Films
"Recount" - Spring Creek/Mirage Productions in association with Trigger Street Productions, Everyman Pictures and HBO Films

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Ralph Fiennes - "Bernard and Doris"
Paul Giamatti - "John Adams"
Kevin Spacey - " Recount"
Kiefer Sutherland - "24: Redemption"
Tom Wilkinson - "Recount"

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Judi Dench - "Cranford"
Catherine Keener - "An American Crime"
Laura Linney - "John Adams"
Shirley Maclaine - "Coco Chanel"
Susan Sarandon - "Bernard And Doris"

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Eileen Atkins - "Cranford"
Laura Dern - "Recount"
Melissa George - "In Treatment"
Rachel Griffiths - "Brothers And Sisters"
Dianne Wiest - "In Treatment"

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Neil Patrick Harris - "How I Met Your Mother"
Denis Leary - "Recount"
Jeremy Piven - "Entourage"
Blair Underwood - "In Treatment"
Tom Wilkinson - "John Adams"

8 p.m. Sunday. NBC.

"I love love love DR. HORRIBLE’S SING-ALONG BLOG as much or more than just about anything I’ve seen this year." -- Harry Knowles