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Twitch & AICN Present: International Eye Candy! Jeunet! Pics from Park Chan Wook's vampire movie! CHANDI CHOWK TO CHINA! & More!
Hello and good day and welcome to the first International Eye Candy column of 2009! My name is Todd Brown and I shall be your guide today to places strange and wondrous and – on occasion – filled with violence begotten upon Nordic youth by Nazi undead. It's that sort of day. But before we get to the pictures of the moving variety, how about some unmoving ones courtesy of DELICATESEN and AMELIE director Jean-Pierre Jeunet and his new film, MICMACS A TIRE LARIGOT. Yup. Nine brand new images in there and they're looking swell. And, hey, what the heck. Why not take a look at the first shots from Park Chan Wook's vampire picture THIRST, too. But now, onwards!
We begin with Bollywood kung fu musical CHANDNI CHOWK TO CHINA, a film we've written about in these pages before thanks to its brilliant blending of Bollywood and classic Shaw Brothers era kung fu aesthetics and for the casting of the legendary Gordon Liu as the villain. This is one of those rare occasions when people reading this column will actually have a chance to see the films they're reading about promptly on the big screen as this one's getting a theatrical release in major cities worldwide on January 16th and leading up to that we've got all sorts of new stuff. Trailers, music videos, scene excerpts, you name it.
Get your CHANDNI CHOWK fix here
From Bollywood we head north. Way north! All the way up to Sweden, where a sudden burst of international co-operation is seeing a mix of Danes and Swedes and probably a few other nations (just for good measure) shoot a film adaptation of hugely popular crime novel THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO, which is – admittedly – a very strange translation for a book whose original title actually means 'Men Who Hate Women'. I'm working my way through the novel right now and it's a very dark crime noir, and given the run of fantastic noir coming out of the region these days, the fact that the director is also responsible for this year's Danish Oscar submission and the fact that the trailers look amazing, my hopes are rather high for this one.
Check a trio of DRAGON TATTOO trailers here
Fans of iconic science fiction author Stanislaw Lem rejoice! It's been a while since the author of SOLARIS had any of his work adapted for the big screen but there are a pair of Lem adaptations on the go right now. The first to arrive will be Hungarian director Pater Sparrow's adaptation of 1, the story of a book shop suddenly filled with nothing but copies of a mysterious book that explains what happens to all of humanity in the space of one minute. Lem does thinking man's science fiction and there just aint enough of that out there. Doesn't hurt that Sparrow clearly knows how to shoot.
Click here for the 1 trailer
Yeah, I'll use pretty much any excuse to work the soon-at-Sundance blaxploitation throwback BLACK DYNAMITE into the mix here and the excuse this time is a pair of mock TV ads for the brand of malt liquor that features prominently into the plot. The TV ads are okay but don't be watching the trailer if you happen to be at work. Or in the same room as your mother.
Check the BLACK DYNAMITE ads and trailers here
You should all know about Nazi-zombie film DEAD SNOW – also soon to premiere at Sundance – by now. It's featured in this column before, Harry's been talking about it enthusiastically on the front page of AICN and, heck, it's got Nazi zombies. What it also has now is a ridiculously bloody and hysterically funny clip. My reaction to watching this the first time drew curious onlookers from other floors of the building I was in at the time. Seriously. This is fantatic.
Check the DEAD SNOW clip and trailers here
I now take a moment to celebrate Canada's junior hockey supremacy – like anyone anywhere else cares – with a film from my homeland. A couple years back Erik Canuel had a big time hit here with a little buddy comedy titled BON COP, BAD COP – a film that did the impossible and actually got Canadian audiences out en masse to see a Canadian film rather than simply sitting at home feeling inferior to Americans. And now Canuel is back with his latest, a darker than dark comedy titled CADAVRES. And though it's probably not really fair of me to invite this sort of comparison, I've got to say this trailer really reminds me of a lot of Jeunet's strong points. Big shoes to fill, sure, but I think Canuel just might be able to do it.
Find the CADAVRES trailer here
We head to the far side of the Commonwealth now to Australia and HIGHLANDER director Russell Mulcahey's latest, the noir action flick GIVE 'EM HELL MALONE. This is more of a sales reel than a proper trailer but it features loads of Mulcahey's uber-stylish camera work, Thomas Jane kicking ass, Ving Rhames in the credits but not on screen, and Chris (Sister of Donnie) Yen on screen but not in the credits. Don't mess with a Yen, man, she'll kick your ass.
GIVE 'EM HELL here
LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS has a teaser. That is all.
Find the LVK here
The first of two out-and-out chick fight movies featured int eh column this time out is COWEB, the directorial debut from Xiong Xin Xin, a man whose name you may not recognize but whose face you probably will since he played Clubfoot opposite Jet Li in the ONCE UPON A TIME IN CHINA films. What's to know? New Hong Kong based female fight star, all real fights, no stunt doubles, no CGI. This trailer isn't as flashy as the ones released for Thailand's CHOCOLATE last year but it also features none of the blatant film speed manipulation and trickery that mars that film so badly for me. This is the real stuff.
Find the COWEB trailer here
If you're a Japanese film fan then Masatoshi Nagase is an actor who probably makes you say "Oh, it's THAT guy," whenever he pops up on screen. He doesn't play a ton of leads but has impeccable taste in his projects and his presence can generally be taken as an instant seal of quality. If Nagase is in it, it is almost certain to be good. And GELATIN SILVER LOVE looks very, very good. The debut film from an acclaimed still photographer, GSL stars Nagase as a private eye hired to follow a beautiful woman who turns out to be a hired killer. The film is mostly observation, apparently, which would be dull if not for how expressive Nagase and his costars are (BABEL's Koji Yakusho also stars) and how stunning it is to look at. I'll never look at a boiled egg the same way again. Yes, please.
Check the GELATIN SILVER LOVE trailer here
Martial arts cannibal mystic! There. Now you already know you need to take a look at NAAN KADAVUL.
Check the NAAN KADAVUL trailer here
Director Shinpei Hayashiya would like you to know that his DEEP SEA MONSTER RAIGA is not GODZILLA. Definitely not. No GODZILLA here. This is a completely different city stomping Japanese monster. Heh. I love this trailer, and not just because RAIGA is so pleasingly old school. Pay attention to the dialogue.
Find the DEEP SEA MONSTER here
I've gotta say that I like me a good war film and Turkey's NEFES certainly looks to fir the bill. The film's first-time director built his script around the real life stories of actual Turkish soldiers used in the fight against extremists and terrorists, then hired a largely unknown cast and had them trained by retired army officers to get the sense of things just right. And if these trailers are any indication then what he's ended up with is something along the lines of Turkey's answer to PLATOON.
Find the NEFES trailers here
Our penultimate stop in the column takes us back north to Norway. No Nazi's or zombies in SKJULT (HIDDEN), but what you do get is one potent haunted house story with a good amount of psychological breakdown and survival horror thrown into the mix. Kirstoffer Joner – one of the best actors of his generation in the entire world – stars and that alone is enough to make this a must see.
Find the SKJULT trailer here
We close now with the second of our two promised chick-fight films, Japan's aptly titled HIGH KICK GIRL. Again, new star. Again, real martial artist. Again, no trickery or CGI. The teaser is pretty much a textbook example of how a single image can sell an entire film if just chosen carefully.
Find the HIGH KICK GIRL (kicking high) here
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Suck on my big kang, Mang.
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is a God.
2000 years from now, people will drink the blood and eat the body of Rourke. -
New thread.
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It's all comfy and whatnot.
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...is beat the old Twitch in the top ten.
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Looks like he just stepped out of "Quest for Fire".
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I have a vaguely spoilerly The Spirit review you can put up on your site.
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Jan 08, 2009 5:02:37 AM CST
Twitch is the best thing on AICN
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
THISSSSS CITYYYYYYY JUSSSSSST SSSHHHOWEDDDD YOOOOUUUUU THATTTT ITTSSSSS FUUUUULLLLL OFFFFF PEEEEOOOPLE READYYYYYY TOOOOOO BEEEEELIEEEEEEEVE INNNN GOOOOOOOOD!
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A noir-ish thriller with Thomas Jane and Ving Rhames? I'm definitely up for that.
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YOU EITHER DIEE A HERRRRRO OR LIVVVE LONG ENOUGGGGGGH TOO SEEEEEEEEEE YOURSELF BECOME THE VILLAAAAAIN. I CAN DOOOOOOO THOSE THINGS BECAUSE I'M NOT A HERRRRRRRRRRO, LIKE DENT. I KILLED THOSE PEEEEEEOPLE. THAT'S WHAT I CAN BEEEEE
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are these Lesbians that happen to kill vampires or people that only kill Lesbian vampires, sort of undead gay bashing? I suspect MRs. Jarv will have a richter scale sense of humour failure when I manage to get my grubby mitts on this.
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Twitch is the best thing on AICN. Easily.
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I'm looking forward to that one.
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Love to have it, of course and as always. Your reviews are da bomb!
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Looks awesome.
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I've really tried with it, but it just annoys the shit out of me. And we keep getting British Indian directors doing unspeakable things like adapting Pride and Prejudice to bollywood (I'm not joking about that) which proves to be as much fun as being a peep show cleaner.
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So, is it supposed to be horror/comedy, or are the trailers just making it look that way?
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Rhames, Jane and Mulcahy. Yep, I'll see it.
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http://tinyurl.com/8q2yjo
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Happy New Year and Happy New Twitch to all. They do go hand in hand.
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I'll get that up pronto!
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Doesn't look like Dead Snow is going to get a UK release. I'm going to have to start a campaign to make the Everyman Cinema on Haverstock Hill show it.
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Crapola. Even Lesbian Vampire Killers has a release. And the fucking release date for Let The Right One in is the fucking 19th of April. This is like the Doomsday fiasco where the rest of the fucking world got it 3 months before us. Fuck's sake.
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pah.
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I'd warn you against it, but it certainly is unforgettable.
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Thanks for sharing. It's very much appreciated. By the way, do you like the new blog format? At some point I need to get my act together and finish all of the writing I've started and paused. New year, same old procrasintations...
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Always worth seeing. And I can't look at such things at work. As I'd get sent to prison.
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I must now attend to children who are waiting for me to, as one so sweetly phrased it yesterday, "shove them out the door for school". Duty calls. Have a great day, everyone.
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It looks good. Makes everything accessible.
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Later!
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I just went into one of the Watchmen threads and all they are talking about is the fucking squid. I'm going to have to read the rest of the comic to find out what the fuck this squid is.
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Surely? If they are, are you raising them as proper changians? This is important.
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In short, the squid is a catalyst for the final confrontations. It can be removed for something else, but if Snyder is 'faithfully' adapting the comic-book it seems silly to create a new catalyst.
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They're overly obsessed with it. It's not that big a deal
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Okay. I'll read the rest so I can pass judgement. Yes, if it's completely faithful then it won't be changed. But just the idea of a squid sounds stupid to me, which is probably the reason for the change.
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It's a giant squid for fucks sake. But the way it works is that Moore throws in dozens of clues... as well as the comic-book within a comic-book that make it work more for you the more you read. The alternative just sounds like a cop-out. It works thematically, it's just not as interesting.
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It's fucking stupid and would require about 20 minutes of exposition. He's right.
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Fuck the squid. Seriously. Fuck it. What he's come up with, however, gives me a nagging feeling of wrongness. There had to be a 3rd way.
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Hey, I'm having flashbacks to yesterday.
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Although the squid is fucking stupid, if you're going to pretend that you are being 100% faithful, then you have to put it in. Removing it just makes you a lying cockbag.
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Watchmen, Star Trek, Wolverine... Anything else?There better be something else, because that's some slim pickings rght there.
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It would require a lot of exposition, but he said he was being faithful. Changing the ending ISN'T being faithful.
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That is going to SUCK.
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Oh yeah!
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Oh yeah!
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Oh yeah!
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Oh yeah! (for real)
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Oh yeah!
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Jesus Christ, you would think one of those writhing sacks of greasy vomit would be enough, but not according to Michael Bay.Also, there's McG's Terminator, Angels & Demons, another fucking Harry Potter, and Night At The Museum 2.This year is shaping up to be a proper stinker.
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Oh yeah!
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Oh yeah! (for real)
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Oh yeah!
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Oh yeah!
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Oh yeah!
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Jan 08, 2009 6:31:57 AM CST
Final Destination: Death Trip 3D
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Oh yeah!
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Oh yeah! (sort of)
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Transformers is bad enough, but GI Joe? Fuck that.
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I quite fancy that one.Raimi back to the horror stuff, and I think Alison Lohman is a good actress.That's something, I suppose.
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2 of those i'm looking forward to. The good films are later in the year. Where the Wild Things Are and yes, Avatar!
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That has some potential, but Michael Mann is very hit and miss.Could be mint, could be wank.
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And Snyder should have said "as faithful as possible" rather than banging on about 100% accuracy. As I said, he's a lying cockbag.
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The Wolfman, Fantastic Mr Fox, Sherlock Holmes, A Christmas Carol, The Lovely Bonesand...Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel OOOOHHHH YYYEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!
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Looking forward to that. We Brits get these films aeons late.
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I'm looking forward to that.
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It's return to the dark days of 2006/2007. I think in future 2008 is going to be looked at as a blip in an otherwise downward spiral of shite.
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The best you can hope for from that utterly bankrupt idea for a film is that it is so god-awful that it becomes worthy of Dumbhouse status.Films based on toys. Fuck's sake.
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Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience
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I think Peter Jackson wants an Oscar.
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It does feature Rachel Nichols, who is rather hot.
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Jan 08, 2009 6:42:16 AM CST
A few more I'm looking forward to
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Knowing, This Side of the Truth, The Brothers Bloom, Up, Edge of Darkness (the mel gibson one)
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One is hard to gage because I don't know what the hell they are talking about, but I'm always up for some sci-fi.
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Sienna Miller
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Hell yes, Brick was outstanding.
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Stephen Sommers
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You know I really fucking hate these films. Mostly because they are not as funny as everyone thinks they are but secondly because they try to put a funny spin on some of the worst people on earth. Whats next for this director who's about as useful as his daddys last film, the worst film of all time starring the one and only Donkeylips...Evolution. I hope he makes a pluky comedy about kooky Klansmen who's trying to run for sheriff of his town, just so he can be a more effective racist. He can call it, Support Your Local Raciest!
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That chainsaw bit is pretty damn funny.
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Fucking terrible film. Thank You For Smoking is okay, it's at least trying to present a balanced argument. Granted it's in an extreme way - but it's true that people should be better educated on smoking rather than patronised and regulated.
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Jan 08, 2009 6:47:56 AM CST
Thank You For Smoking and Juno
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I liked both films
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Gee, wonder how Mrs. Pillow will like that suddenly arriving at the Pillow household?
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One of the most repugnant and sexist shows of all time. Oh look, let's clap as David Duchovny plays a complete asshole. Let's laugh as he treats everyone like shit.
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not big, not clever just shit. And Repugnant shit at that. I also despised Juno, but quite like Smoking. The cutesy, quirky dialogue of Juno made me want to cut Diabolo cody.
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Never saw Juno, and frankly, never will. I got burned with that shitburger Little Miss Sunshine, not with Juno.
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it sounds like the sort of thing that would go down well. Give it a shot.
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Oh... that film bugs me. 'Look, we're all quirky.' FUCK OFF!
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You don't like Californication because Duchovny's character is a sexist asshole?Sexist assholes are funny!P.S. I just watched Bad Santa again last night.
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Jennifer's Body - 18 September 2009I also quite enjoyed Little Miss Sunshine. Geez. You guys are harsh on these types of films.
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There's levels. Sexist assholes can be funny, but not as the basis for an entire series. I'm not politically correct, I just hate it when I'm asked to relate to shit-heads.
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If it has to be 'quirky', I'd prefer something like 'As Good As It Gets' that was written coherently.
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Quirky flims that try too hard to be quirky because they think that's what everyone wants when one of those types of films works with audiences. I found all the characters uninteresting and didn't laugh once during that shitty film.
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Mrs. Jarv keeps calling me one- mostly because I say things like "where's my laundry" without showing the slightest inclination to get up off my ass and do it myself. It's that he's an sexist asshole that mopes after his ex-wife. Not to mention that his daughter is a prize cunt and it's got a comdey value of 0. Jennifer's Body- I need someone else to see that for me to report if it's full of mock-quirky "Home Skillet" garbage, because otehrwise it appeals to me.
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Jan 08, 2009 7:05:52 AM CST
The thing with these types of films is...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I couldn't tell you anything about them 5 minutes after I saw them. They are puffy entertainments to me and I treat them as such. They don't cause be to have an emotional reaction. Therefore I think they're ok, and forget them.Films that have caused a (negative) emotional reaction this year are films like Righteous Kill and Eagle Eye which are insulting to my intelligence.
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"Daybreakers" is an upcoming vampire film written and directed by Peter and Michael Spierig. The film stars Ethan Hawke, Willem Dafoe and Sam Neill.In 2017, a plague transforms the world's population into vampires. With fewer humans to provide blood, the vampires seek to farm the remaining humans and to find a way to continue their existence. A secret team of vampires uncover a way that would rescue the human race.Sounds pretty schlocky but could be fun.
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Hawke described the film as an allegory of man's pacing with natural resources, "We're eating our own resources so people are trying to come up with blood substitutes, trying to get us off of foreign humans." The actor also said that despite the allegory, the film was "low art" and "completely unpretentious and silly".
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Ethan Hawke as a vampire researcher who tries to save humanity from extinction.
Sam Neill as a vampire in charge of a corporation.Willem Dafoe as a vampire who duels with Hawke's character.Claudia Karvan as Lucy, the vampire researcher's love interest.
Vince Colosimo in an unnamed role.Isabel Lucas as the last surviving member of the human race.[ -
get Twitch 1 and 2 Talkbacks
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A new Twitch goes up and everyone here is all over it.Todd, you're not the only one interested in the Canadian junior hockey championship. Those kind of victories help console us Canucks get over the fact that we haven't brought home Lord Stanley in 16 years. Although the win over Sweden was effortless after those nailbiters against the U.S. and Russia.Deep Sea Monster Raiga and High Kick Girl have my full attention.So the CoC is really plowing through the movies in the new year. I've watched more in 2009 than I usually see in a month. Saw Slumdog Millionaire last night. Most likely top ten material. The questions were a tad ridiculous but the story itself was delightful.I have Defiance, Milk, Revolutionary Road and Benjamin Button on tap for the rest of the week.I think 2009 will be a spectacular year in film due to foreign contributions.
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this one has already fired up the charts in no time at all.
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I saw someone threw up a review here and from the title of the article, didn't like it. I haven't read their review though.
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The script was terrible. I read it before I saw the movie so I didn't have the delivery of the actors or the vision of the director to cloud my judgement and I struggled to get through each and every page.Daybreakers sounds like solid fun.
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Foriegn movies were king that year.
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Jan 08, 2009 7:29:11 AM CST
The 2nd trailer for Defiance sold me on it.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
The complaint of the review (capones i think) was that it was pandering oscar bait. Ummm.... He gave a positive review to the biggest load of shit oscar bait of the year, Seven Pounds.
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the moment. Aside from the obligatory Meadows and Leigh stories of urban deprivation, what's the rest doing? Fucking lazy tossers, this is a great chance to grab some much needed kudos.
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Not just because the film itself was so culturally and creatively bankrupt (not to mention utter shit), but because people fucking flocked to that thing. Remember all the talkbacks? All the morons blathering on about how "the story's shit, the acting's shit, it's stupid, it makes no sense, BUT IT'S GOT GIANT ROBOTS - WOO-HOO! - WHAT DO YOU EXPECT, SHAKESPEARE!" And it'll be the same when Transformers 2 comes out. People will slop that shit up in fistfuls. This is going to be a bad year for mainstream films. I have a bad feeling about it already.
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Not just because the film itself was so culturally and creatively bankrupt (not to mention utter shit), but because people fucking flocked to that thing. Remember all the talkbacks? All the morons blathering on about how "the story's shit, the acting's shit, it's stupid, it makes no sense, BUT IT'S GOT GIANT ROBOTS - WOO-HOO! - WHAT DO YOU EXPECT, SHAKESPEARE!" And it'll be the same when Transformers 2 comes out. People will slop that shit up in fistfuls. This is going to be a bad year for mainstream films. I have a bad feeling about it already.
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Not only are there usually a few spoilers, but lately I've been of the mindset that if I know nothing about a movie going into it, I'll probably enjoy it more. Sadly that didn't work for Appaloosa, but I still like being surprised when the movie begins.
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And I didn't want it posted twice!Anyway, I meant to say, in 2009 Tranfsormers will come equipped with it's extra-retarded sidekick - the Robin to its Batman - in the form of GI Joe, and people will be cramming that garbage directly into their anuses, too.That is all.
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with the likes of Johnny Vegas or Ant and Dec in them. Where's the lottery funding? Where's Neil Marshall
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Jan 08, 2009 7:34:12 AM CST
The aussies are trying too hard to be little Hollywood
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
With Australia tanking at the BO and that huge production of The Pacific mini series. Our smaller films are just getting completely fucked. Daybreakers was made in Australia and the writers/directors are aussies as well. Thats put it firmly on my radar.
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Man, I am extra crotchety today.Don't know why.
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The Descent 2. Fuck Me sideways. That's taken over the prize of most unnecessary sequel ever from 28 Weeks Later.
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Jan 08, 2009 7:37:21 AM CST
The Descent 2 comes out this year as well
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I'm cautiously optimistic about that one. The first one scared the bejeezus out of me. And I don't scare easily, because most horror films are fucking stupid and shit.
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But hopefully it will be good. It is Neil Marshall directing it isn't it?
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apparently. But it sounds awful. Drive starring Hugh Jackman as a stuntman that has a contract put out on him. Fuck's sake Neill- go back to horror.
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He's using the same 'squash two films together and call it something new' ethos he employed on Doomsday, only this time he's combining Three Men And A Baby and The Hottie And The Nottie. The current working title is:Three Men And A Talentless Whore Who Should Be Ground Up And Fed To Cats.
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film. No sequel please. Ridiculous.
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Doomsday is awesome fun. Cunt.
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Maybe that'll inmprove my mood.Bunch a cunts.
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It's a totally unrelated cash in.
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ending to The Descent: "Terror mounts and fear runs deeper in the chilling continuation to Neil Marshall's award-winning and critically acclaimed modern horror classic, The Descent. Distraught, confused and half-wild with fear, Sarah Carter (SHAUNA MACDONALD) emerges alone from the Appalachian cave system where she encountered unspeakable terrors. Unable to plausibly explain to the authorities what happened - or why she's covered in her friends' blood - Sarah is forced back to the subterranean depths to help locate her five missing companions. As the rescue party drives deeper into uncharted caverns, nightmarish visions of the recent past begin to haunt Sarah and she starts to realize the full horror and futility of the mission. Subjected to the suspicion and mistrust of the group and confronted once more by the inbred, feral and savagely ruthless Crawlers, Sarah must draw on all her inner reserves of strength and courage in a desperate final struggle for deliverance and redemption"
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Doomsday was about 8 films in one. And none of them were any good. And it doesn't qualify as dumbhouse because I was bored shitless.
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Might as well have her run into some Predators and Aliens while they are at it.
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I assumed Marshall was directing. In that case, fuck no.
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First time director, they're bringing juno back, etc. Fuck me up the arse with an epileptic hedgehog. It sounds awful.
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Search your hearts, you know this to be true. Do not debate me on this.
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Jan 08, 2009 7:48:08 AM CST
What Annie Wilkes would say about The Descent 2
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
"And there was Rocketman, trying to get out, and here comes the cliff, and just before the car went off the cliff, he jumped free! And all the kids cheered! But I didn't cheer. I stood right up and started shouting. This isn't what happened last week! Have you all got amnesia? They just cheated us! This isn't fair! HE DID'NT GET OUT OF THE COCK - A - DOODIE CAR!"
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As I am not a big horror fan, but love The Descent (even with the shitty cop-out American version), The Descent 2 does not exist nor is it happening.
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They should have done it a la Aliens- crack swat team armed to the hilt go in the cave and get slaughtered. But it still wouldn't have worked.
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and I can't be bothered debating because it's too shit to be worth it.
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I'll end up seeing it, and I'll end up paying full whack in the cinema, because I think these things should be supported.
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Granted, all it was missing was a precocious little kid with hilarious quirky attributes...
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I mean "British Film Industry not making chirpy comedy, urban misery, or period drama". We used to be the best in the fucking world at Horror. Why do we do this shit nowadays. Oh, and I think the first film from the revitalised Hammer Studio is out in 2009. Except that will be shit, because it's some sort of techno club-vampire nonsense with Sadie Frost.
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that the women made. These things should continue to exist without the knowledge of the world, not bring in a swat team to get butchered.
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Or was The Descent a fluke?
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"oh no siree, mr Cannibal, you won't be a eating me. Home Skillet"
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It sucks because whenever a Wright style director makes a good film, he's seduced by Hollywood.
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and seem to always catch it at some point in the movie on Sci-fi channel. It does have Kevin McKidd after all.
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Granted, the twist is pretty fucking obvious, and they cearly didn't have the budget to do convincing werewolves, but it's a rollicking little film full of laughs, jumps and wicked set pieces. It's good.
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That's like casting Kate Moss in... anything that requires walking and talking.
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Then they had a soldier try killing a Werewolf with boxing blows. It became awesome at that point.
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Jan 08, 2009 7:56:27 AM CST
"a rollicking little film full of laughs, jumps and wicked set p
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Sold.
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hee hee hee.
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Dog Soldiers is okay - ropey in places, but enjoyable enough for a low budget horror. The Descent is an excellent film. Doomsday is cock-awful, but don't debate Jarv on that because he'll cut you down with his world famous debating technique (ie, saying cuntflaps a lot).
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you are being an unreasonable cuntflap who is having a hard time seeing the truth.
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I would like to thank all the CoC members, and a special shoutout to cuntflaps.
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Jan 08, 2009 8:04:42 AM CST
It's a testement to the British workplace...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
that we can get away with talking absolute shit on a movie website as much as we do.
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"he's right in this case"I'm convinced!
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When their leader is yelling at a soldier to knock him out... then pops back from the first punch with 'HIT ME YOU PUSSY.'
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Cheeky monkey. And the internets has just told me that Let The Right One In is the 2nd new Hammer Co-Production, with Wake Wood as the 3rd. The first one, beyond the rave went straight-to-internet.
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"The parents of a girl who was killed by a savage dog are granted the opportunity to spend three days with their deceased daughter." Pro's- Timothy Spall. Con's- that plot sucks.
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"Hip-Hop is both good and original. Unfortunately, the good part is not original and the original part is not good."That wag could have been talking about Doomsday, except he forgot to mention the awful action editing and that laughable medieval bit.
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And you're just being silly. Seeing as you like The Gilmore Girls you have absolutely no valid opinion about post-apocalyptic silliness. Or Cannibals.
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'It takes a good man to beat him; it just doesn't take him long.'
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"A vampire story set in England's underground rave scene. The online serial follows the last hours of freedom of local soldier Ed, who is flying out to Iraq in the morning. With the help of his best friend Necro, he spends his last night in the UK tracking down his missing girlfriend Jen, last seen partying with a bizarre group of hardcore night-time ravers led by the mysterious Melech. But as he catches up with Jen at a party, Ed discovers that Melech's crowd, who are hosting the event, are looking for more than a night of fun, and that not everyone will make it through to dawn"Fuck me. That sounds rotten.
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any more? It's not 1989 for fuck's sake.
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1) Is there really a Descent 2 in the works?
2) Is that really the plot synopsis?
Christ, that's the WORST idea I've heard in ages. Aliens pulled that off because it required Ripley to GO BACK to confront the demons of her past after escaping in Alien, but NOBODY SURVIVED in The Descent!!!! -
Each of his movies are fucking incredible.
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All the debating skill of thirteen year old boy.Sure, Jarv, and my being a long time fan of Escape From New York and The Road Warrior - the films whose tombs Neil Marshall raided - doesn't have anything to do with it, either.Child.
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That's because I mentally stopped growing at 13. And seeing as it was a pastiche of those 2 films/ deliberate homage to them, then you should like it.You however, have the debating skills of a 47 year old post menopausal woman- "oh but it's niiiiiice".
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Oh God, that's terrible.
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isn't it awful- they've clearly adopted the US ending as canon (unless they find a very fucking clever way to get her out of the cave- which is beyond them), and continuity with the original be damned. Rubbish.
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It's not dumbhouse if you intentionally try and make something shit.
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I think we can all agree The Spirit is God-awful.
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Jan 08, 2009 8:26:14 AM CST
"It's not dumbhouse if you intentionally try and make something
by lost jarv
True, dat.
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he's usually fairly sunny. Why am I being positive and he's being reentlessly negative? This is the wrong way round.
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Go buy yourself a "sunny mood". It'll do ya some good.
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You're right, I'm in a foul fucking mood and I'm picking on you purely for the sake of venting.That's not cool.Let's all just agree with Mr Z that The Spirit is God-awful (not that I've seen it, but it probably is).
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I think LVK has the potential to be a brilliant dumbhouse film because they've cast two incredibly annoying TV actors in the lead roles. Those two are going to try acting, and fail - but at least they'll try. Which should be hilarious.
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Any great recent schlock you've seen that you care to share?
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Jan 08, 2009 8:35:33 AM CST
that's important...the excruciating attempt of non-actors
by just pillow talk
to act. It's the staple of dumbhouse that really seems to be missing nowadays.
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I never take offence to stuff on here. Why are you in such a shitty mood?
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Lucky for me, sunny moods only cost 125000 internets in England. I'm going to use the other half to get some breast relief.
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It'll de-gilmorize you and set you back on the path of manliness.
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it's that Matthew Horne cunt. I hate him. Paul McGann is in it- but the most important thing is: Who are the Lesbian Vampires and are they hot?
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exchange rate of internets considering the US dollar has strengthened a wee bit lately.
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that loves us.
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It is Chand"N"i Chowk to China
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It can be called 'Tom and Dick go to a Kebab Shop.' And co-star Barry off Eastenders.
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...and I've been inundated with calls from one moron, asshole or comined moron/asshole after another, and it's worn my patience down to a nub.I'm looking forward to going home and maybe getting a few chuckles from Van Wilder.
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I'm trying to get the energy to destroy another comic-book issue.
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I'm intrigued, but I can't help thinking this film is a blatant attempt by those Gavin & Stacey guys to do a Shaun Of The Dead.And will it be as good as Shaun Of The Dead?Not bloody likely. Shaun Of The Dead is mint.
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It's not going to be good because as annoying as Pegg can get, he's a decent actor. These two aren't.
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are not anywhere near as talented as Simon Pegg, Nick Frost or Edgar Wright. Gavin and Stacey is OK, but I don't get all the hoopla over it. And I feel for you frank, I get those cunts every day.
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I assume it's for the attractive blonde lass who played one of the body doubles in Love, Actually.
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There was a pussified american ending where she lives? WTF? Did they just chop the ending so she's driving away? Goddamn yanks and their happy endings.
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hate it, hate it, hate it.
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stopped after the Juno scare in the car. I'm intrigued as to how they're going to bring back Juno in the sequel. And I wanted to "test her flexibiity".
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What the fuck, maybe I will. I can add it to the pile I'm hoping will reach to 365-500 films high by the end of the year.
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I was going to make a joke that the Poms should do a Fat Slags flick, but a quick wiki check reveals one was made in 2004. Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel for creativity!
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But i was surprisingly unimpressed with Hot Fuzz. It was okay, but i expected further genius.
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Have I seen any schlock recently? I would say schlock makes up 40-70% of my entire cinematic diet depending on my mood. The most recent offenders almost crippled me. Unwisely listening to the maniacs at Cinemageddon, I procured and digested -- in almost one sitting -- Samurai Cop, Space Mutiny and Kindergarten Ninja. As if that wasn't brainmelting enough, I topped it off with Hard Rock Zombies a couple of days later.
I'm currently in therapy. -
No doubt about it. And I liked Hot Fuzz more after I saw it again. It doesn't compare to Shaun of the Dead, but I still have a soft spot for Hot Fuzz.
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So not one of them is worth it? Damn.
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Zombie Strippers was good.
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execrable comedy ever- see sex lives of the potato men for example. With a title like that it should be mint. But it does actually suck.
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"blatant film speed manipulation and trickery"? Where the hell was that in Chocolate? Did you see the trailer showing some behind the scenes footage of people getting hurt in that movie? Where's the blatant film speed manipulation and trickery in that? The jury's still out on Coweb.
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and I don't think mori leaving is a bad thing. He had a shitty sttitude towards us harmless tb'ers that I won't be sad to see the back of.
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And this is someone's 'review' of hard rock zombie:"Give this movie a wide arc. If I were to recommend this movie to anyone, deaf and blind people would be at the top of my list as well as people suffering from chronic insomnia. easy contender for the biggest waste of everyone's time and labour EVER. best part(s) the blonde hitchhiker girl in the shower......worth watching for that alone."Hmmm...
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Ever watch 'I Want Candy'? Fucking atrocious.
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...they were ALL worth it! A most delicious collection of cinematic ass. That group of films is like a 24-year-old Caol Ila of shit. Essential viewing.
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As long as it's not about Rob Zombie and his wife. That would not be great.You suck, Rob Zombie. You suck to a lesser extent, Rob Zombie's wife.
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"Give this movie a wide arc.""blonde hitchhiker girl in the shower"
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Check out the rockin' 'stache on the lead singer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUEK6FlOmkY
The movie not only has hard rock zombies, but also HITLER! And tits! -
I stumbled onto a film called Die You Zombie Bastards! (from those lovely people at Troma), and I now also want to see that one.
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Jan 08, 2009 9:16:46 AM CST
Random thought: Snakes on a Plane
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Did anyone actually like that film?It does not qualify as dumbhouse because it was intentionally dumbhouse and more importantly, fucking boring and shit.
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...check out this priceless collection of non sequiturs masquerading as dialogue in a scene from Samurai Cop:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6gk04xzN3U
GOLD!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6gk04xzN3U -
---post that link twice.
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I have to see all these. They sound great.It'll be a while though, because Mrs. Jarv is pissed at me for listing Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers.
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Sounds like you and I have a similar wife problem.
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I like it because they actually do want us to care about the main characters. I don't, at all - and so I laughed when they kept getting attacked. It is a little knowing, but I think if they'd gone full OTT it would have been too self-deprecitating.
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...The Deaths of Ian Stone last night. Nope, didn't like it. Nice-lookinig (non-nude) women, but tired hodgepodge of Matrixy and Dark Cityesque tropes and a singularly bland lead.
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Hard Rock Zombies has been added to late to the queue, as they just shipped Primer.
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...it wasn't as dire as Catacombs.
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Jan 08, 2009 9:26:35 AM CST
Ebert referred to Primer in a Timecrimes review
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Anyone seen it? Is it any good?
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You won't regret it.
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and throw up The Starter Wife season one first. That should make Mrs. Pillow content while I watch various schlock.
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but I do manage to exceed it often. I also don't do myself any favours by whinging when she lists heavy stuff like School Ties or The Magdalene Sisters. And she's also pissed at me for the fact that Lovefilm have her on a pervert list. The fact I got her an extremely expensive christmas present is the only thing that is saving my bollocks at the moment.
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didn't disappoint. I have the utmost confidence neither will Hard Rock Zombies.
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I remember being quite taken with Linnea Quigley as a younger man. She's all kinds of naked in that film.I saw that one back when they weren't allowed to call it Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers in England. The box said Hollywood, then a picture of chainsaw, then Hookers. Thank god those days are over.
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They have all of those. Result.
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Sword and The Sorcerer and Class of Nuke 'em high: the good, the bad and the subhumanoid. She described Megaforce as the worst piece of shit that I've ever bought into the house, including Dungeon Siege. I think she was being a bit harsh.
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is the brilliant facial expressions by the black cop. Brilliant!
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shit. Rule number one for a good film: Never take dialogue ideas off the morons that post here- see X3 (I'm the juggernaut, bitch) and SOAP (Get these motherfucking snakes off my motherfucking plane)The worst thing about it? It proved once and for all that geeks have no influence at all on making money at the box office- there was an element of doubt, but that killed it.
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Jan 08, 2009 9:37:32 AM CST
I was just saying exactly that to a guy at work
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I said its the last time Hollywood will listen to the geeks on the internet.
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With a little more imagination, and maybe if they'd stayed with Ronny Yu as director, it could have been some goofy fun.As it is, it's shit.
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We really are a bunch of slackers.
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tis true.
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Thats a great flick. Seed of Chucky was shit though.Are they still re-booting the fucking series?
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funnily enough, never really lived up to it's promise. Bits of it were great, but the monster looked like that thing that Bill Paxton gets turned into in Weird Science.
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Seed only for Jennifer Tilly hilariously sending herself up.I am sad.
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I spend way too much time here
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#1 with a bullet without Danny!
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I like them both, too. Jennifer Tilly is hilarious in Seed Of Chucky. Plus, that one has John Waters in it. Fuck knows why, but it does.
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rubbish.
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Jan 08, 2009 10:03:57 AM CST
Some of the reason I didn't like Seed is expectation
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I saw Bride expecting it to be shit and I loved it. Therefore I had high expectations for Seed and was very disappointed.
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Easy to get them confused, Jarv. They are the Cheech and Chong of hip hop.
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Fuck the pair of them. They should have got the corpse of 2pac.
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Bride and Seed, all the Leprechauns, and the daddy of all goofy horrors - Army Of Darkness - I love all that stuff.
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Jan 08, 2009 10:13:53 AM CST
I'm not a fan of horror films
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
So they have to be unique for me to like them. I also think that action-comedy or horror-comedy is very difficult to pull off well. Theres a lot of shit for every Bride of Chucky, Shaun of the Dead or Gremlins.
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pah. Navel Gazing rubbish. With Coldplay.
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I'll watch the really good ones - Halloween, The Thing, The Exorcist, that kind of stuff - but 99% of horror films are just shit. I'll put up with shit if it's funny, but not if it's boring, and shit horror films are usually unbearably tedious.
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is far and away the worst thing that can be shit.
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Primer is a very acquired taste kind of movie, you'll either let it wash over you and be intrigued or you'll fucking hate it.
Basically, the first two thirds is an extremly technical and brainy time-travel movie (written by Engineers), but then the last third becomes almost impossible to follow because the movie will withhold crucial information and you'll have no idea whats going on. It's kind of meant to be an interactive puzzle, in that the more times you watch it, the more you can piece together the timelines. Google "Primer Timelines" And you'll see how ridiculously complex that movie actually is. -
is far and away the worst thing that can be shit.
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Jan 08, 2009 10:26:51 AM CST
What was that horror comedy with Fillion and Banks?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Where he's the sheriff? That was ok. Rooker mutating was amusing.
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eeek! how awful. On every level. I don't mind having to use my brain, in fact, I quite like it- but that's ridiculous.
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and it was awful.
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You're not wrong, bullet3. Looks like hard work. http://tinyurl.com/2fmx5w
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I thought it was ok, in a shit/amusing way. I watched it all, which I don't always do for those flicks.
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99% of every type of film is shit. Horror has one of the best chances of being craptastic though. Action has the best chance of being dumbhouse.
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and put nubile teen in bath then I MUST see some titties. If you hide them, then that is an automatic fail.
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I've said it before, but you're a hard man to please Jarv. Unless you combine the magic elements of Zombies and Strippers that is.
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That is not sufficiently optimistic, Jarv.In good faith, I should tell you I have informed the New Year's resolution police, who will be around to sort you out forthwith.They've already done me, which is why I'm not quite sitting right today. Filthy bastards.
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Jan 08, 2009 10:39:27 AM CST
Why are all people who wear their collars up wankers?
by franklin t marmoset
That seems to be a common combination elements. Collar up/Wanker.It's similar to the BMW/Wanker dynamic.
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can lick my Tandoori flavored balls!It took a real director(Boyle) to finally make a decent Paki flick. The rest is bobble headed crap.
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I hope you get banned for that you racist fuck. Luckily for you that fucking horrible reference will zip past the mods- you dirty little cockmonkey. I hope you get savagely ass-reamed by an angry kodiak bear.
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funnily enough, I'm actually quite easy to please- but if you're honest then most films that come out are just awful. There's some genres that are more likely to have a hit with me, and some that have to work twice as hard (costume drama, romcom).
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It was a long time ago so I don't remember it too well, but I do remember liking it. It had this guy in it who liked to punch people a lot, and he had a bunch of big fucking rings on his fingers that left nasty imprints on the face of his punch victims.I've never seen any since then. I think I'm put off by all that singing and dancing.
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nothing short of a pink Ralph Lauren shirt with a rugby jersey says wanker like that.
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It's not that people who wear their collars up happen to be wankers. The very act of turning one's collar up MAKES you a wanker.
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??? racist? Didn't know Tandoori was a racist word. Okay, They can lick my Curry flavored balls for making cheap Paki movies...how's that?
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calling Indians "paki" is. And you fucking know it. Now piss off.
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And a fucking northern troll at that. Back under your fucking bridge.
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Jan 08, 2009 10:56:54 AM CST
Turning your collar up has a transformative effect?
by franklin t marmoset
That's interesting.Maybe that's also true for BMW drivers. Maybe perfectly nice people up and down the country have been buying BMWs and then fingind themselves - totally against their wills - being transformed into total pricks.
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They call themselves Pakis don't they? Or are they just self hating.
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and a Hedgehog?With a hedgehog, the pricks are on the outside.
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Fuck's sake. When you can't even type 'finding' properly, it is time to go home.Cheers, all. Sunny me will be back in the morning.
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and you know it. Fuck off.
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You have edjamicated me Lost Jarv.
I meant to say The East Indian Movie industry can lick my hot and spicy testicles for making crappy East Indian movies. Do I still get savagely ass-reamed by an angry kodiak bear? I like bears. -
But what if I turn up my collar on my Lacoste shirt only when I'm receiving a blowjob....still make me a prick? I just like to feel powerful-- thats all.
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Except he was funnier. Hhhhmmmm. I dunno. If that is you. Fuck off. If its not. Fuck off.
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seeing as you are clearly trolling this will be the last time I respond to you. Paki in the context you used it is a derogatory slang abbreviation for Pakistani that nasty, moronic northern racists throw at any Asian they come across. Bollywood= the Indian film industry. Do not attempt to justify it, or pretend for one fucking second that you were innocently using it. And now that I've spelt it out, I hope someone (Mr. Twitch) sees it and bans your fucking bigoted ass.
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You originally got upset at the Tandoori flavored balls line? Why is that racist?
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That's really irritated me. And I was having such a nice day.
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I got upset at calling Indians "Paki" see post above.It's the equivalent of the N word.
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In the future,I will refrain from saying things like..Are you my Paki,Can a Paki get a table dance,That Paki's wack or Paki please.
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Ohhhhhhhhh. I didn't know that. I skimmed through it thinking he was talking about a Pachycephalosaurus....which is one of my favorites non-Avian dinos before the K-T extinction. -
It's obvious. And if he walks around saying things like: "Are you my Paki,Can a Paki get a table dance,That Paki's wack or Paki please" Then he's going to get his fucking horrible tatooed NF head kicked in on a regular basis. Deservingly.
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It's like saying black people's balls taste like fried chicken.
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But that isn't what got me initially.
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Fucking Internet.
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Are you a Pakistanese or Indian? If so I can understand your anger and do appologize. Live and learn eh?
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Mr Incredible: the undercranking in Chocolate is scattered all through the movie. It probably happens in about a quarter of the fight sequences and they're not even subtle about it. There's a lot more wire work than you might expect as well. Between that and the horrible, horrible story line it doesn't hold up to repeat viewings very well at all.
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and that's neither here nor there. So it's alright to be racist provided there aren't any members of the race you are denigrating around is it? Fuck you.
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...I really really love that film.
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What about the Bear? Do I still get the Bear?
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Sir, please leave. You're trolling now, and some of us enjoy coming to these threads and not having to put up with trolls and potential lockdowns.
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I may now you've said that.
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Turd. Fucking hate racist trolls. We haven't had one in ages, but this one's a fucking prize.
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Jan 08, 2009 12:02:11 PM CST
whoa...check out that Heath Ledger TDK post!!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
That guy got it up to the Top 10?! hehehe.
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im ignoring the racist asshole. For those who think Bollywood is crap, maybe ur just watching the wrong thing. Boyle said he watched three movies in particular that inspired him for Slumdog. Satya, Company and Black Friday. All awesome movies. Check them out if u can.
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I used to say I hated Bollywood films, then I just figured the films I saw were crap. Logically, you can't hate an entire genre or countries produce of films. There's bound to be one decent one, at least.
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and I do only tend to see the ones that are on late at night on British Telly. It isn't that many. Let me rephrase it- I haven't seen one yet I've liked.
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See you tomorrow.
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I will choose to ignore Twitch's comments on it and continue to live in my oblivious world. I'll have to watch it again though.And I think I'm the only one that didn't like Mr. Socrates, though I didn't finish it. For whatever reason, I just couldn't get into it. That's one that I know I have to give another shot.
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...with wizards and shit. God Damn that was one of the worst things I've seen in my life. And the CG was worse than the new Power Rangers show. Someone let me borrow it awhile back and it starred some superstar guy from over there. Fuck that movie sucked. I felt like an abused woman afterward and screamed "NEVER AGAIN!!" out my window.
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I felt that way while watching Three Men And A Baby... like I'd lost my fucking mind.
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Even if you despise 3 Men. Come on-- its a sappy family film with some cheesy moments and bad music, but fuck no....this Bollywood thing I'm talking about was insanely bad. It was shocking how cheesy it was and people were either crying for no reason or dancing for no reason or blasting fireballs out of their asses for no reason. Damn I gotta find the name of that gem.
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Just like in his song "Cowboy," Kid Rock's only words of wisdom to the judge who sentenced him -- "Suck my d..." We're talking about the judge who told him performing for the troops in Iraq was not valid community service. The American Badass already posted the judge's name, work number and address on his website to get his fans to complain -- and now he's got a challenge for the dude: How 'bout you go to Iraq for a while if you're such a badass.
Kid has to complete 80 hours of community service by this February as part of his sentencing for that Waffle House beatdown in '07. -
Jan 08, 2009 12:39:39 PM CST
It's redundant but Kid Rocks a fuckwit
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Just quit bitching and do the community service.The judge should post Rocks details and tell everyone to they can tell him what they think of him. I'd call.
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..encouraging people to harass a fucking judge? Seriously. Fuck off you pussy. You're whining about picking up trash. Dumb fuck.
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I'm hungry
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I've seen Chocolate twice now and I still love it. Yes the story is abysmal but I ain't watching it for the story.Todd didn't like Daisy either, which is cool because we all like different things, but the general consensus around here is that the movie rocked.And as bad as Bollywood is, it's entertaining. Great stuff to drink to. When you're three sheets to the wind, the Bollywood versions of Fight Club and Oldboy are damned hysterical.I've been saying for years that Hollywood needs to make an Austin Powers-esque Bollywood farce with a Indian super spy.
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I can't believe Trejo was in town and I didn't know about it. I'd have invited him over to the house for tequila and Tecate. Ask him why he didn't look a fellow hombre up.
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Jan 08, 2009 12:47:20 PM CST
Chocolate is the one with Binoche?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
If so, I haven't seen it. It never really interested me.
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Three Men And A Baby, to me, is just mind-blowingly awful. Full of gurning and ridiculousness that makes me wonder how it was made, let alone how people enjoyed it. It's not bad in a chaotic way, but it's just such a fine example of how ridiculous Eighties cheese can be.
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Twitch has became my new fav movie website, replacing Aint-It-Cold-News. Sorry Harry, the only good thing that left in this site is the talkback. As for movie infos, AICN is no longer reliable.
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But he's an American Bad-A*s
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Chocolate is the one with a wee lass with mad skillz who throws men off building ledges.
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Never heard of it. But thats not surprising for me. I'm not really into the kungfu flicks.
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and all you guys talk about is some third rate slashers. where's the love for park chan wook? what is it with americans and gore? the best horror movies are practically bloodless.
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agreed, a lot of it is crap, and a lot of that has to do with socio-economic realities in India. But the few movies a year that are excellent never get exposed to an international audience. Bollywood is very much like the freak in the circus. no one understands it, everyone thinks its weird and people want to check it out cause its strange and laugh at it. Most bollywood you guys are seeing are prolly the cheesiest, worst products out of the Indian film industry. Theres movies like Satya and Company, Lagaan, Omkara and others that are really good though.
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This line-up looks superb. But it'll have to wait until after class for me to check it out. Damn, I'm excited though.Fuck Avatar. Black Dynamite will own us all in 2009.
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avatar will FUCK your eyeballs in 2009. everybody knows.
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And Stallone's Expendables will FUCK YOU IN THE ASS!
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...with that Twitch love or they're gonna give this article the fucking boot.
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if i recall. so i take that as a good thing. and testoterone is so 80's.
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pics on imdb and those fuckers put Jonas Brothers on the front page. Disney is paying well.
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I never said TDK would bomb. I just didn't think it would do the insane business it has. I thought it would be too dark and gloomy to stay on top for so long-- but I was wrong. Avatar on the other hand will bomb. General public doesn't give a shit about Cameron, no big leading man, mediocre sounding sci fi story, the whiz bang effects dont impress like they used to. There is no reason to think this will do incredibly well.
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SHUT UP ABOUT IT TILL WE SEE A TRAILER. Fuck SAKE!
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How the FUCK did they ever get that opening past WB? It's just amazingly macabre.
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wouldn't it make for a far more satisfying experience to go into a movie without first seeing gazillions of media publicity for it? i thought merrick's idea of wanting every movie to be revealed to us from the pre-pro stage is downright idiotic.
@DANNY - dicaprio and kate winslet were no big names either. and while the general public knows shit, cameron always know what is cool. have more faith. -
Hendrick's with cucumber will fuck your tastebuds in 2009. Ask Chitty.
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He fires a hook into a wall... lets the criminal taunt him... then rips a piece of wall out so it knocks the guy out. That's genius.
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I love that shot of Keaton sitting there in Wayne Manor looking like he's about to kill himself and the Bat-Sign blasting through his window as he stands up slowly from that low angle. Fucking miraculous. Oh yeah...thats what TDK was lacking. Where the fuck is my suit-up sequence?
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Oh I won't have faith in Avatar. Fuck that movie. Not interested in a rip-off of Stargate. And revolutionary effects don't mean shit to me. Effects have gone as far as I would ever want them to go. The 3D gimmick is a bullshit excuse to pack asses into seats for mediocre films. Fuck that.
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'Actually, it's a lot like that.' Walken is an awesome actor.
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The end of BB suggests he's going to be fighting crime indefinitely... and a year later he's ready to quit. That bugged me.
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i agree, it IS a gimmick. just as sound and color was when they were first introduced. the point is to make the fantasy becomes as real as possible, and cinema as a form will always go into that direction, whether you like it or not. but forget all that tech, forget the sfx. they are all nothing after all if not just to support the story. and cameron, more than any other A-listers in hollywood knows his story structure. and that's the sole reason i'm excited for the movie. to compare him to emmerich is like comparing a fuckfest with 10 hottest playmates and a blowjob by a toothless baboon.
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But damn... when he shows up, he makes it his movie.
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i always thought it bested the first one, and has many memorable scenes, especially the interplay between penguin and catwoman. nolan's bat films really lacks cool memorable images, like DANNY pointed out.
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This is some great dialogue.
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I haven't see it full through in ages, and I think the Nolan films take the material more seriously... but BR has a comic-book feel. 'Bottom line, she tries to blackmail me I'll drop her out a higher window. Meantime, I got better fish to fry.'
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Fucking awesome. Every minute of it makes me smile.
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"Dear Penguin. The children regret they are unable to attend - Batman."
Fucking awesome! -
... and starts the engine - if they put this film into the cinema, I'd shout 'HELL YEAH.'
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"They wouldn't put me on a pedestal, so I'm layin' 'em on a slab!"
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This little poodle waddles up to a shop, drops an object, and then waddles away before BOOM. Burton rules.
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Jan 08, 2009 2:54:57 PM CST
lets start a petition to re-release BATMAN RETURNS!!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Fuck TDK and that Oscar baiting re-release horse shit.
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'Gushing blood? I don't get it. CHOMP
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Surprisingly sharp picture.
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as a Batman movie, although of course he's in there. It's more a weird fever dream. It's all about Burton and his odd little freaklings. It is very un-Batman like in it's story, it's sympathies and it's basic ethos, but it's a great little picture nonetheless. The scene Danny mentions where he stands up is classic. Never thought he was gonna kill himself, instead got the even eerier feeling he was just sitting there in that room in the dark, waiting for it, and who knows how long it had been.
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so TDK will always be the best to me. but batman returns is way underrated in the geeks circle. it's vintage burton, a complete freak circus, while the first one is just a generic impersonal hero kills badguy story with some gothic decor.
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Brilliant!
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Jan 08, 2009 2:57:30 PM CST
I still have the 2 set of Batman and Returns...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...on VHS. One of the only VHS's I kept. That, Jurassic Park, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, and Ed Wood I believe.
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See, I think it's pretty close to the comic-book. Just with a Gothic tint. And arguably, TDK doesn't feel that Batman either - both films sideline him a fair bit, it's just that Keaton has the ability to take back the film.
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Jan 08, 2009 2:59:14 PM CST
I didn't really think he was gonna kill himself....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...he just looked damn lonely. And thats funny-- because thats how I feel about TDK. I've said it before I like it a lot, but not as a Batman film. I don't really give a shit about Bale's Batman-- its everything else I enjoy. So TDK ranks high for me as a crime/drama sort of film....Returns will always be the pinnacle Batman film for me.
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'I'm sorry, I...' THWAP Awesome.
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Jan 08, 2009 3:00:26 PM CST
yeah TDK is about as none-Batman as it can get....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...no fucking suit-up scene?!! WHAAAAAAAAT?!
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Jan 08, 2009 3:01:12 PM CST
Damn Penguin and Walken have all the lines....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
"Actually, this is all just a bad dream. You're at home, in bed, heavily sedated, resting comfortably, dying from the carcinogens you personally spewed in a lifetime of profiteering. Tragic irony or poetic justice, you tell me."
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But gun to my head, I prefer comic-book films which embrace the silliness.
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'And your the hottest person a role model could have.'
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He never once strikes me as a person that would dress up in a suit, as a Bat to fight crime. Like I said before-- the character he portrays would dress up in tactical SWAT type gear with a ninja mask thing. He would never get that theatrical. And he never once feels like he has mental/emotional problems of any kind. He just feels like a guy caught up in feeling like he should protect the city and it takes hold of his life.....thats it. Keaton actually looks and feels like he is still fucked up over his parent's death. And I totally buy him as the guy walking into the batcave to suit up. It never looks out of place to me.
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And like you said, Keaton spends hours waiting for crime. He cannot function without it. Even business wise, when he meets Max he starts on his illegitimacy. Keaton plays him the same way as the comic-book does... you can buy him going full-blown to track down Hush, and train every Robin.
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Batman is meant to be a freak. I think he is to a degree in TDK, but the flipside is he can function in society. Keaton can't, you really see Bruce Wayne being his alter ego and Batman being the real identity.
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Bale is just so ordinary as Bruce. Keaton looks out of place. He looked genuinely uncomfortable when he was in the meeting, or walking down the street, or at the party. He does some crazy shit with his eyes where he looks like he is always looking for trouble in a way. I think Keaton nailed that part of the character. He seems comfortable and himself when he is Batman.
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They want to make Batman realistic. That's admirable, but in the end it's still a guy dressed up like a bat. You have to be somewhat insane to do that.
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...I can give a shit where his gadgets come from. But I can give a shit about a guy getting so caught up in his alter ego that he feels out of place in the real world. That is interesting. And for a guy claiming its all about the characters, Nolan really failed in this respect. There is not one moment where his Bruce Wayne feels that way.
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Catwoman: Someone say fish? I haven't eaten all day. Batman: Eat floor. High in fibre.
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"I'M THE GOD DAMN BATMAN!"
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Is his Batman meant to be batshit insane?
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He's jammed The Penguin's frequency on his microphone, is using a pre-prepared CD to incriminate him... and is scratching it.
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Its fucking crazy. The actual line is:
"What are you dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think I am? I'm the God Damn Batman."
Read this shit. http://tinyurl.com/7qm54g -
Neither Bruce nor Selina are wearing masks... because 'Bruce' and 'Selina' are their masks. Man, I love this shit.
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Miller's lost it.
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Can he play a creepy bitch?
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And you know who are bigger douche bags? People who still religiously follow him.
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Screw it, this gets 5/5 from me.
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If they had Emerson quipping less on Lost, I would rank him as the joint best actor on TV. The quips piss me off.
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When Grayson's parents are shot to death by a hit man, he is escorted from the scene by several cops of the Gotham City Police Department in a threatening manner. Vicki and Alfred Pennyworth chase after them. Batman begins searching for the killer and then rescues Dick Grayson from the police, telling him that he has been drafted into a war. More police chase after the Batmobile with orders to kill Batman, during which Vicki is seriously injured. Dick is frightened by Batman's violently ramming the police vehicles during the chase. When Dick begins to cry, Batman smacks him, though he then catches himself, questioning these actions. He tells Dick he will find his parents' killer, and tells him not to trust the Gotham police.
Arriving in the Batcave, Batman drops Dick off, leaving him to his own devices. When Dick asks what he can eat Batman coldly tells Dick to eat the cave's vermin if he is hungry. Alfred informs Batman that Vicki is in critical condition, but knows a doctor in Paris who might be able to save her. Alfred contacts Superman, who is enraged to learn of Batman's kidnapping of Dick. Alfred reveals that Batman knows Superman's secret identity, thus blackmailing Superman into bringing the doctor from Gotham to Paris. Batman and Alfred get into a heated argument over Alfred's providing Dick with clean clothes, a blanket and food, and when Batman manhandles Alfred, Alfred orders him to cease, invoking a bitter reaction from Batman.
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You know the way that they close in on him near a commercial break, and he'll say 'So?' or 'Good.' That's what I meant. Those really annoying lines that Emerson is able to show without speaking.
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What possible logic does Miller have for turning Batman into a son of a bitch who smacks a little kid he's just kidnapped and then yells at his Butler for feeding said kid.
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That old television device to cut to commercial right on a slow push in and build-up on tension music and someone saying "Kill 'em all," or some shit like that. Thats why I appreciate Law and Order. They barely ever do shit like that. They'll cut to commercial with someone just walking down the street or starting up a car.
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...he loves ugly, rough, unlikable characters. He thinks it makes the world much more sexy. Something is fucked up with him. His idea of reinventing Batman's origins is to make him a complete asshole? Odd. Very odd.
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Here is a screenshot of that scene. http://tinyurl.com/7zz2s7
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A lot of people think he was pissed off to be doing Batman for some reason and just decided to fuck it up any way he could.
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and just about everything in it is creepy as fuck. I'm not big on Catwoman as portrayed in the movie, but DeVito's Penguin is an excellent villain.
A vast improvement over the first one, which was good when released but just doesnt hold up, Nicholson is awful as the Joker, he does a lot of crazy things but doesnt seem crazy himself, just more amped up from his regular gangster persona. -
Batman Forever = Perfect.
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I really think that BR had the best character development of all of the old Batman movies.
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....is that Robin that asks him? And is he driving the Batmobile when he says it? HAHAHAHa. That just makes it funnier for some reason.
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It really did have the best character development. And thinking back on it and discussing it again makes me realize it really explores the psychology of Batman more than any of the other films. Nolan thinks he's exploring the psychology but repeating FEAR and ESCALATION a thousand times just doesn't do it.
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but only for the great Jim Lee art at this point, and even that isnt really worth it since he doesnt really get to draw anything worth his talent in there. The first issue started good, but everything since has been getting worse. The first storyarc could have easily been cut down from 7 issues to 4 or 5. (Issues 2 to 4 are Batman driving back to the batcave for fuck's sake, how far does he fucking live?) There's an occasional good bit, like Robin nearly killing Green Lantern by hitting him in the throat, but overall it's awful.
And I dont think Miller is trying to fuck it up intentionally, he is just out of his goddamn mind. -
where the hell has Fred been? You heard from him?
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...that shit is over right? Its done? How many issues is it total?
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That's just... thanks for the screenshot Herb, but that's basically child abuse from Bats.
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No idea. How long has he been gone?
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There is one right now written by Kevin Smith that is pretty interesting.
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Two issues of driving? What is this, Batman: 24?
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Shit. I haven't seen him in probably about a month.
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Whats different about it?
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I'll see if I can pick up the Smith one. He wrote Guardian Devil, so I give him a pass on his crappier comic-book stuff like 'Ooh, let's retcon Black Cat.'
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Fuck, I have a lot of gripes with that.
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While Frank Miller has described the relationship between Batman and the Joker as a "homophobic nightmare",[120] he views the character as sublimating his sexual urges into crime fighting, concluding, "He'd be much healthier if he were gay"
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Hmmm. I haven't seen him over at mymavra.com either. Hope he's OK.
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That's ridiculous, and a little insulting.
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Superman: Red Son. I've heard of it but never read it. Superman crash lands in Russia and becomes a commie, right?
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Yes, they should end with a hook. But Emerson can show the emotions, he doesn't need the dialogue.
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Yep. And the funny part? HE'S THE EXACT SAME CHARACTER.
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well....I took that to mean Joker and Bats wanna fuck each other in the ass but don't know how to go about doing that. So instead they just chase each other around the city. They are like children really. You chase the one you have a crush on.
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He grows up under fucking Stalin, but remains a decent and upstanding character. If you're going to do Superman as a Commie, go all out - ya know?
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Do you mean he's not the evil version of Superman?
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If what I heard about Smith's run is true, The Joker wouldn't have any qualms about getting friendly with Bats.
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The most evil thing he does is treat Wonder Woman like shit, but even then it's more him not noticing her than anything else.
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Mark M writes him as a Martyr terrorist. Makes me cringe.
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....actually I said awhile back I thought it would be sorta cool if either Joker or Riddler was a totally freaky tranny type that wore wigs and shit.
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Although it depends on the writer. Some write him as a pedophile, some imply he likes men.
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Yeah, it's pretty amazing how often MH is portrayed as a pedophile. They do it all the time.
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...making little puzzles for the kids.
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Just like Green Goblin sleeping with underage girls.
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Where is that one from?
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But I absolutely loved that opening and to this day think it is the best opening to comic book film ever. beautiful and breathtaking. I loved the design of it. Ed wood is burtons masterpiece. But I am beginning to agree with critics on burton. Slight story wrapped around fantastic visual. I didnt like Sweeny todd at all. very cold film and couldnt see through to the end. Swenney todd was the heaviest story buron has ever done and I cant wait to see what he does with alice in wonderland.
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Anyway, was there anything decent in the Spirit at all?
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Wow. I'm speechless.
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Watched Running Wild tonight. Liked it a lot. Could've done with about 30 mins chopping out, just a general tightening up exercise. Enjoyed Mr. Socrates more, though. Couldn't get into Chocolate. Unless it's Toblerone. That's nice chocolate.Daisy - still out in front as my HODFilm favourite, so far...
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Dog Soldiers - as stated somewhere above, when Private Spoon takes on a werewolf in hand to hand combat, tis top notch. "Hope I give you the shits, you fuckin wimp."Descent - also good. Was strangely sad about Juno, but not the 'heroine.' Sequel not required.Doomsday - loved it to bits. It's mental. When 'Two Tribes' hit the soundtrack I was in Movie Heaven.
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I'm sorry I just had a vision of Bryce Dallas naked flash in my head and now I must politely tuck my away my boner. Fuck.
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if you're going with the movie actors... which personally I wouldnt want to see, I had enough of Dafoe's ass in Body Of Evidence.
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In the Name of the King only earned $4 million. Ooova wa'happened?
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This January has been such a bummer, minus the lack of a well paying job. There isn't anything great to look forward to at the end of the month. Last year we had the tickle in the back of your throat that wouldn't go away and so you had to go see it, Cloverfield. But more importantly Rambo was coming out, one of the overlooked movies at years end. Man what a fantastic experience that movie was in theaters. One of the few movies that delivered every bad ass thing it promised.
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Can you believe the clowns at the Razzie Awards named it one of the nominees for worst picture of 2008?
Idiots. -
I still have no idea if it actually came out in theaters here, but I remember seeing the posters for months in subway stations and whatnot. Almost the same thing for Never Back Down, the Bloodsports knockoff with Djimon Hansou, posters everywhere for a long time, movie was a blip in theaters.
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Is a fucking Disney movie about secret agent hamsters? Starring William Arnett? Voice starring Sir Nicolas Cage. Directed by the Oscar winning creator of the Abyss...special effects? What the fuck? Ask yourself this, how the fuck do we live in a world in which there is a Disney movie with Zach Galifianakis in it?
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CHOCOLATE still holds up for me, even after watching it three times. Although, I have to agree with Hawaiian Organ Donor: "Yes the story is abysmal, but I ain't watching it for the story."
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to be enjoyable. A bunch of fucking hamsters. Cant be any worse than those abysmal Garfield movies.
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might be good.
Until I saw it.
It was well made, but sooooooooooo lame and boring. -
I fucking hate them. Seriously they are sooo fucking stupid. Why don't they get someone who's actually funny to run them. They are like the fucking US Weekly Worst Of Awards. You think something passing themselves off as the "Oscars" of the Worst Off's Awards, they would try a little harder.
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which, while a self-humorous gesture in apparence, just shows how desperate she was to try and still be somehow relevant. Because her movies arent helping her with that lately.
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If she got some shots together, she could be the next Halle Berry.
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it should be an Halle Berry who will get naked in every role, and not for a disgusting scene like sex with Billy Bob. Hot nakedness was negated by Billy Bob.
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and nothing particularly interesting, at least for the movies that are first time posts here. Coweb looks like a nice throwback to the late 80s/early 90s action style. The High Kick Girl clip is funny, want to see more.
And am I the only one who thinks the NAAN KADAVUL guy looks like a dirty bearded George Clooney? For some reason I find he has a similar face. -
Glorious panties!
Hopefully High Kick Girl! will deliver -
while I like it as a rule, and Danny is right, that opening shot of Bruce Wayne is fucking epic, there's just too much silly horseshit in it for me to truly embrace it (Penguin's black blood leaping to mind). Burton went nuts in that film. I also think it's sad that the most interesting villain is Walken. It should be The Penguin. Catwoman is, was, and always will be a shit villain that's just an excuse for latex perverts to get their rocks off at the thought of Batman nailing her in costume.
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when Penguin is walking through the graveyard he brushes up against a tombstone and it fucking wobbles all over the place. Weak and lazy- I cannot believe they couldn't either do another take or fix it some other way.
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why do that to Batman? seriously, why the fuck would you make Batman into such an asshole. What runs through his fucking head?
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Scarlet J is a really good comic-book actress. She's got a snappy delivery.
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it didn't knock me into the middle of next week, but I quite enjoyed it. I have no particular desire to see it again.
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that shocks me.
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shot in any film. Step right up Swordfish. She just flashes them for no reason at all. Allegedly she was paid $250,000 per breast for it, and good on her. If there was any rational or narrative reason for popping them out then that would be different and she shouldn't have asked for the cash, but the scene would have been exactly the same if she had her top on.
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Yep. I'm not even a huge fan of hers acting wise - but she looks and acts like she belongs in the world. Everyone else is either over or underplaying it, she's the only one actually inhabiting the character.
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Still my favourite Batman film.I'm sorry I wasn't around to join in with the love-fest.P.S. Morning, all.
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Yeah - great fucking film.
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Too true. I think that's what I love about Batman Returns. Burton took the sequel to this colossal blockbuster and turned it into a strange gothic fantasy about freaks and weirdos.I love me some freaks and weirdos.
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I only managed one film last night - Van Wilder, which was okay but not as funny as I remembered it being.One film. Very disappointing.Still, I've got a very quiet weekend coming up, so I'll be making up for it over the next couple of days.
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Jan 09, 2009 3:28:09 AM CST
Batman Returns was always my favorite
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
But there really was only two to choose from. All the casting was spot on. And yes, it seemed Burton was allowed free reign to "go nuts". The Penguin army for example.
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It's funny, but The Penguin seems like a prototype for Nolan's Joker. The amount of anarchy he causes in Gotham is insane.
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Yeah, the story went she got a load of cash to get em out. If they were going to do that, surely they could've got more screen time! It's not like that was the only possible place in that movie for tits. Plenty of better possibilities.
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hehehehehe
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No. Fucking. Way. Totally different, on every level- Penguin had understandable motivations, even if they were twisted. Joker did not. Penguin was a freak that ate raw fish, Joker while scarred and obviously batshit insane wasn't an actual freak. Anarchy for penguin had a clear and discernable plan, albeit one on a small scale, Joker also had a plan but it was on a much larger scale. Penguin in that film was basically about revenge. Joker was way more metaphysical.
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but it is hugely flawed. Hugely. I think I prefer Dark Knight, but that's also massively flawed. I also think I prefer Bale's Wayne to Keaton's. But way prefer Keaton's Batman to Bale's. If that makes sense.
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Obviously Jaws is a bigger influence, but it seems funny that both sequels deal with an anarchic character whose the other extreme of Batman.
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I know. When I heard the story I was surprised- but expecting a load of screen time for the sweater puppies, but what we actually got was, well, shit. That fim is fucking dreadful, by the way, mostly because of Travolta and his twat beard, but Jackman also doesn't help.
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of Batman in every way. Batman parent's died, penguin parents abandoned him, Penguin works in a gang, Batman is a loner. this can go for ages. I just don't think Burton was successful.
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*yawn*. deja-fucking-vu. How anyone can defend the original turd fest is beyond me.
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No name, home made clothes, a complete disinterest in money, strong homicidal tendencies, and a fascination with chaos.Those are pretty freakish attributes.Also, wears makeup. And dresses like a nurse.
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he says so- he could be lying. He is a freak, but not like Burton's penguin. I wasn't clear.
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Jan 09, 2009 3:49:15 AM CST
I'm definitely sitting out Transformers this time
by franklin t marmoset
I'm still a little mad at Vern for convincing me to watch the first one. I'm not making that mistake again.
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This is a new side of The Joker I had not considered before.
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Just seemed like an immensely fucked up individual. When he wasn't Batman, he was essentially sitting around Wayne Manor waiting for the signal. Que the great shot Danny was talking about.Batman was his real persona and Bruce Wayne was his alter ego. He uses Wayne to go undercover.
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only reason. He says to the mob bosses at the start "This suit was very expensive. You should know. You bought it." Now granted, he could be goading the bosses, and lying out of his back teeth.
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That's the point - for all we know, he could be the richest guy in Gotham and have a family he goes home to. The character is intentionally underdeveloped.
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thread. It's brilliant and both sides are making good points. This is my favourite so far: "Doomsday was not a "Good" movie, but I thought it was pretty awesome." The argument being that you review films like doomsday twice- is it good? is it awesome? That sums up my feelings about it. And Rhona Mitra, who would look good on the end of my cock, can't act.
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I just assumed he meant it as a way of saying "Nah, nah, nah, I took your money".And then I assumed he went to a haberdashery and used the mobster's money to buy various fabrics and whatnot. He he.I must admit, as much as The Dark Knight is not for me, I really enjoyed that film's version of The Joker. I like Buton's Batman films, but I never liked Jack Nicholson as The Joker at all.
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Jan 09, 2009 3:59:01 AM CST
I can put up a meh defence of Transformers
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I had zero affinity with the toys or cartoons and saw about as good a movie you could make about giant alien robots who transform into cars and duke it out for the good of mankind.I was never bored.That's my meh defence.
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I should have said passionate advocacy. Meh is not a defence- I also had no affinity for it, but the closet racism and horrific comedy made me hate it.
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...in the Transformers thread (just for fun), but I can't think of anything to write. Those Transformers fans are pretty much bullet proof. They've convinced themselves that anything with giant robots is automatically great no matter what the film's flaws ("What do want, Shakespeare?"), so nothing really gets through to them.I'm stumped.
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That image makes me laugh for some reason.
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Transformers is the death of art.
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I cannot justify passionate advocacy. But i stand by my meh defence. I've come to expect a few things from a Michael Bay film, and one is a total lack of comedic ability. I have to say (and I may be opening myself up for an onslaught of vitriol, but...) that I like both The Rock and The Island.
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Jan 09, 2009 4:12:29 AM CST
The last three posts in the Transformers thread
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
have a word count of 6,849! For fuck sake! That film/toy/cartoon does not justify that much passion.
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and I don't know why.
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Is awesome. Not good, awesome.
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...but I like to think I'm usually pretty good humoured about it.Some of those Transformers fans are worryingly invested in a bunch of toys and cartoons they remember from their childhoods. It's actually a little creepy how serious (and knowledgeable) many of them are about it all.
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It's the only film of Bay's I can stand, despite having Sean Connery in it.
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one of those posts asked if we bothered to look up all the additional material *cough merchandise cough* that went with it. Get fucked, it was bad enough that I saw it.
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How can you expect Transformers to make sense if you don't buy the toys?
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Shame on us for not taking the time to read the comics and the tie-in novels, play the video games, wear the pyjamas, and go to our friends' houses to play with the toys in their back gardens.How will we truly understand the Transformers experience without working for it?
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He was great, but I would've much preferred it be Clint Eastwood. It would've been genius with it alluding to Escape from Alcatraz.
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I'm going to the last Woolworths in the UK at lunch and I'm going to spend my hard earned on all the Transformers underoos I can find. Maybe that will help me understand it better.
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Bloody winter stomach flu thing. I'm knackered already. Off to a meeting. See you later.
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ran up 4 flights of stairs for the fucking meeting, get there, and am asked "did you not know it was cancelled because so many people are out". No, of course I fucking didn't. How the fuck am I meant to know things like that if no cunt actually tells me? Bollocks.
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Season 2 starts out pretty slowly, but the tension builds really well throughout the year, especially all the stuff with Doakes (the most hilariously beligerent man on tell).Wait until you see the headbutt.
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Damn fingers are nearly frozen off.Stupid smoking outside in the cold.
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Jan 09, 2009 4:59:05 AM CST
Did you not know it was cancelled?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Obviously I didn't. I wouldn't be here if I did!
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Your meeting's cancelled.Just thought I'd let you know.
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WhinyNegativeBitch in the remake TB: "I've watched everything I can get my hands on. There's quite a bit out there I've missed, but I've seen some nasty shit, including horrible real life stuff like chechlear, 3 men 1 hammer and such. But for some reason Last House On The Left remains just about the only film that pissed me off and made me feel so fucking dirty I turned it off. "I hope he's fucking joking.
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Especially because I had a really good viewing night last night, Dexter and Dark City. And for the first time in ages, no insomnia. So I was in a really good mood this morning.
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I've been playing catch up and I don't know why I bother. It's shit. The first season was ok. I've got to give it up. Too much other stuff that I should watch. Might get The Wire and start watching that instead. Is Dexter good is it?
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Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
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Fuck it, I enjoy it.
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but much like Iron Man, helped greatly by the excellent central performance. I thought last night's was the best for a while.
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How cold is it out there, droid?
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if you enjoy it, great, but I gave up with it half way through season 2- Fuedal so-cal annoyed me too much. The problem with heroes is that they have too many overpowered characters and therefore have to invent reasons for them not being able to use their skills. Peter Petrelli is a case in point. He's basically god, and so they gave him Amnesia to depower him. AMNESIA for fuck's sake- the hack's tool of choice.
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But stuff like Amnesia... yeah it's an annoying storyline choice, but they have a character who can wipe memories. It's not like Peter bumped his head on a rocky.
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It makes Heroes look like The Godfather.
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It's on the dark side (what with being about a serial killer and all), but it's very well written, has a surprising amount of depth to it, the stories unfold brilliantly, and Michael C Hall is a just a great, great actor.It's definitely worth a look.
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I'm going to have to watch Notrbit one of these days, if only to find out if it really is as bad as I've heard.
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Just hop in place from one leg to another and suck down those smokes like your life depended on it. bbbbrrrrrrrrrrr
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Despite being really racist, it's just badly made. No unintentional laughs.
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Jan 09, 2009 5:34:22 AM CST
Norbit's not as bad as you've heard
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
It's worse.Not one single redeeming factor about that abomination to celluloid.
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Its like they make it up on the spot. I've just watched an episode with the eclipse where everyone loses their powers. And. I. just. don't. care.
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There's one scene with Hiro and his Mother from Volume III that maintains my faith in the show. It could be a lot better, but I still have faith.
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...that I read Mr Z and Droid's posts warning me off Norbit, and for some reason they make me want to watch it even more?
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but the problem is, there seems to be no forward planning with it- Peter is a good case in point. The thinking was clearly "wouldn't it be cool if we had a character that could absorb other powers" but they didn't consider the consequences of it- especially as they'd hopelessly overpowered Hiro and Sylar as well. Look at what he can do: Invisibility, flying, teleportation, time travel, stopping time, healing to the point of invulnerability, fusion hand thingy, telekinises, Lightening bolts, painting the future and that's just off the top of my head. The absorbtion should have been temporary or limited amount (he can only have 3 at a time). So having painted themselves into a corner with ridiculous lack of planning, they tried to get themselves out with Amnesia.
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All the characters are just annoying me now. There were always the shitty characters, like Suresh but now every character is shit. Sylar is especially shit. And the fact that they brought back Ali Larter as a different character fucking annoyed me no end because her 'Nicky' character was fucking awful. At least it doesn't have Nickys kid in it anymore.
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See, I concur with that. There should be limits.
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Don't watch Norbit. It's an insult to the medium.
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luckily for me, I only smoke little rollies, so it wasn't that painful.
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Jan 09, 2009 5:44:51 AM CST
Thats what I mean about making it up on the spot
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
There is a scene in the first series where future bad-ass Hiro visits Peter (on a train I think). I think it was the Save The Cheerleader, Save The World message. Anyway, Hiro apparently becomes a badass. At no point thus far has Hiro done anything remotely badass. No signs towards that at all. It's like they've completely forgotton about it. For fucks sake, the character thinks he's 10 fucking years old at the moment and he seems no different to normal Hiro!
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The more bad things you say about Norbit, the more I want to see it.I'm also giving serious thought to seeing The Spirit this weekend.It's some sort of sickness!
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and despised Dohinder. I'm one of the few that actually liked the series one finale, but fuedal so-cal and Amnesia (not to mention that girls dreadful oirish accent)killed it for me.
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You think I'm joking about these films? I'm not. There's no levity here, they suck. And not in an enjoyable way. Do not pay for them, do not watch them.
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So many people on the Internet have slighted me for that, but fuck em.
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but it just felt like a bit of an anti-climax.
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Because logically, Sylar - Peter - DL - Matt and Nathan should've died... Niki/Micah and Claire/Noah leave the show. S2 has Hiro and a bunch of new character. I'm pretty sure they didn't change the general finale layout at all, but just left the 'deaths' ambiguous. Much as I like the show, a bit of finality there would've been cool.
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Daphne rocks.
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Damn you, Mr Z! If you keep this up, I'll be heading over to Zavvi at lunch to buy the two-disc special director's cut edition of Norbit!And I might even get Meet Dave while I'm there!
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would have been a great way to deal with both Peter and Sylar. Peter went "bang" therefore don't have him survive, and Hiro gutted Sylar- so he's dead too. That would have dealt with 2 ridiculously overpowered characters, leaving just Hiro- who at least seems to have some limitations.
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You're striking me as sadomachistic, at this point.
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Just say he can only absorb an ability in proximity to someone. If he isn't with Claire, he can die... if he isn't with Nathan he can't fly.
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I prefer the X-Men cartoon from the 90s. Sure it's goofy, but it's awesome to see Rogue fly and Cyclops use Optic Rage.
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Your line up this weekend should be...Norbit, Meet Dave, Pluto Nash, The Klumps, Holy Man, Vampire in Brooklyn and Life.We must rid you of your evil.
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Does anyone honestly like him?
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I think he improved 150% when they took his powers away. The character sucks when all powerful, but when he's powerless he shows some intelligence and empathy.
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...and I might actually kill myself.
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Throw that in as the middle film, Franklin, and you'll go 'hey, this is a good Eddie Murphy film', and then the suck of the other films will be even more obvious.
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Jan 09, 2009 6:04:29 AM CST
Heroes would've been better...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
if it were a stand alone series. End it with Peter blowing up and Sylar dying.No more series.
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You complain about rubbishness, yet you haven't listed the absolute abomination that is Dolittle 3. It doesn't even have Eddie Murphy in it. Frank's line up should be: Doolittle 3, Beethoven's Third, Look who's Talking Now, The Klumps, The Pink Panther (steve martin version), Jack, Father's Day, 3 Men and a Little Lady. That's a suicide inducing line up.
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Most stuff would be better as one series. Lost would - if they went The Watchmen route and had a single season of really focused eps, it'd be the best thing ever.
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I tried to watch it. Got about 15 minutes in and turned it off. I think it's the quickest abject rejection of a film in my history. Except maybe Hannibal, which was about 7 minutes in but i watched it all because I'd paid for a ticket.
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seeing as Kring only likes origin stories, they could have started again with a completely new cast for the second series. If they'd done that, the horrible mexican twins would still have been annoying but nowhere near as annoying.
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How could you?
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I lasted six minutes and got a refund.
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Be back in a bit, chaps.
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Jan 09, 2009 6:10:00 AM CST
A fitting finale for Frankies tour of duty would be...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
the deuce of 'Daddy Day Care' and 'Daddy Day Camp'.Whoa Momma!
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the other thing that is monumentally annoying is the absence of character development. If anything they've regressed because it seems that each series is effectively an origin story. By now they should be comfortable and effective with their powers. Hiro was my favourite for a long time, because he was the only one of them that had what I'd consider to be a sensible reaction to discovering what he can do: he was fucking ecstatic. Shit, If I could stop time, I'd have a fucking ball.
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if anyone can make it through those 2 back to back without crying then they deserve some kind of award.
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Jan 09, 2009 6:15:15 AM CST
Hiro also had the benefit of having a cool power
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
So he had a reason to be excited.I hate Lost. I watched the first 9 or 10 episodes and it was plainly obvious it was going nowhere and Abrams knew it.I've decided it's all about The Wire and 24 for me in the next few months.
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I have a weakness for bad films and stupidity, and here you have skillfully managed to combine the two. And the weekend is almost here! I have nothing to do this weekend, so who knows...
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Jan 09, 2009 6:20:51 AM CST
I was thinking about Trading Places the other night
by franklin t marmoset
While I was watching Bad Santa, I thought to myself:"Self, do you know who was also a great drunk Santa? Dan Aykroyd in Trading Places!"Trading Places is mint.
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Unfortunately, I'll be relying heavily on my DVR for films this weekend.Waiting to be watched are Finding Neverland, Seabiscuit, The Alamo, The World's Fastest Indian, Murder At 1600, Bowfinger (Eddie Murphy!), The Descent, and Thank You For Smoking.Trouble is, I don't see how I can get a solid theme going there, other than the theme of 'Films Off Frank's DVR'.
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that is just don't like. I really should as it ticks a lot of my boxes.
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But I think I'm done with it finally. Season 4 was just dreadful - the show at its most wheel-spinning and pointless - and I've had enough.There's still a part of me that wants to know what happens in the end, but I reckon I'll make do with reading it off Wikipedia in a couple of years.
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Mrs. Jarv saw it's trailler and really wanted it. I'm not hopeful.
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Seabiscuit is great. It poses the important question. What if Rocky was a horse?Haven't seen neverland, fastest indian or alamo. Not sure why they've slipped past me. Weird. The only bomb there is Murder at 1600. It does have the bald guy who was on the genius first season of Murder One though.
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Jan 09, 2009 6:44:30 AM CST
I've got quite a few to watch...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
and I might go to the cinema as well. I'm considering either Australia, The Spirit or Role Models. Or I might just say What The Fuck and see all three. I'm a glutton for punishment.
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Jan 09, 2009 6:48:44 AM CST
"Seabiscuit is great. It poses the important question. What if R
by lost jarv
Funny. I like to think that Rocky would have punched out Tobey Macguire.
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Jan 09, 2009 6:49:34 AM CST
"It poses the important question. What if Rocky was a horse?"
by franklin t marmoset
Jesus, Droid. You just made me laugh out loud in the office.And I suppose the answer to that question is: "He would have trampled Appollo Creed to death with his hooves."
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All in sync and whatnot. That's adorable.
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but I may go on "student tuesday" when it's a fiver.
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It's a long time since I've seen that one, so I remember nothing about it.But it has Wesley Snipes, so I'm prepaired to give it another go, and I need it to make up the numbers. I have to make it to at least 365 films by the end of the year. I HAVE TO.
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I haven't been to the cinema in a while, so it would be good to see something, but it's between The Spirit, Sex Drive, Bride Wars, and Twilight.Not much of a choice there. The Eddie Murphy weekend doesn't seem so bad compared to that lot.
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Jan 09, 2009 6:58:32 AM CST
You should deuce it up with Art of War
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
And try to find the point where it becomes blatantly obvious that Biehn is the villian. I'm sure its no more than the first 5 or 6 minutes. That film woud've qualified for dumbhouse for me if Snipes' characters name was actually Art.
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saddle up the bear, come to bristol and drive you across the bridge into sheep land.
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Chop Shop, per the recommendation of Jonah. It was a nice little movie, nothing spectacular, but a nice little piece on this brother and sister trying to get a better life in Queens. The kid is excellent in it. From Hawaiian's batch: The Restless. It was an okay fantasy, not too crazy about the action sequences. I much preferred Shinobi's action sequences if I am comparing fantasy martial arts films. The Restless was more of course about his lost love, and what he would still do for her while she's just a spirit and he's still human.
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at what point is Gary Sinese obviously the villain. About 3 seconds after first appearing.
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Jan 09, 2009 7:10:19 AM CST
The worst villian giveaway in history is...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Bone Collector. I saw the trailer, and they featured the killers voice on it. I remembered it, and when I saw the film and the character I knew. Seriously, how hard is it to get a different actor for the trailer? It was a shit film, but even worse because of that spectacular blunder.
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as soon as you see him in what is the most minor of roles you know whodunnit.
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the guy in Sword and the Sorcerer. I didn't realise he was the evil sorcerer in disguise right until the end. Course, I was 7 when I saw it.
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Jan 09, 2009 7:18:49 AM CST
Another shit one is Righteous Kill
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
But thats just an atrocious piece of shit.
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the franchise killing movie X-Files: I Want To Heave
Why this steamer isn't on the worst movie list is beyond me -
...The Prestige, where it turned out that the guy who looked exectly like Christian Bale with glasses and a fake beard turned out to be - TADA! - Christian Bale with glasses and a fake beard.
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It was much shorter than the other seasons, and as a result I think, much more enjoyable. The momentum of episode after the episode was really incredible. The only bad episode was the one about Kate. I do not give a shit about Kate. NO MORE KATE.I have a feeling if the show ever gets around to answering everything, some of the explanations are gonna be CRAZY. But I'm looking forward to it. Just two more seasons and then hopefully I will have a clue what the hell has been going on. With all that being said, if it's aliens, I will be severely pissed off.
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I haven't seen that one in years. Looking forward to giving it another go.
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...that JPT's two films were called 'Bitches' and 'Cunts', because I would totally watch both of those.
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And I haven't seen it for ages. Whens it on, Frankie?
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Typing "bitches and cunts" in the search engine in netflix gives me these top results:Counts and the Countess (bingo!), Mini Anden, Pride and Glory, Kingdom of Crystal Skull. I think the haters will find that last one quite amusing.
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Bitches and Beauty Queens: The Making of Miss India.I think that's a suitable replacement for Gilmore Girls for you.
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I double checked, and Tremors is on ITV4 next Wednesday at 11.30pm.Damn, I was looking forward to that.
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Goddamn it. Maybe I'll just go buy it. It's probably 3 quid at HMV.
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I'm in serious Gilmore Girls withdrawal at the moment, which may explain the crab that was up my ass yesterday.This is worse than giving up smoking!
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All 4 films for only £11.87!I must admit, I am tempted...Jesus, DVDs are stupidly cheap at the moment.
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Jan 09, 2009 8:03:33 AM CST
While searching for 'Bitches and Cunts' on Play.com
by franklin t marmoset
I came across an album called Cunt Kicker by a band called Ladyscraper.Sounds good.
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If I want to watch two guys sleepwalking for two hours, I'll visit the noctural research department down at the university.You're burning through the movies now, JPT. Yeah, about The Restless. It wasn't so great of a movie but I thought it had some amazing visuals. I really liked the city in purgatory. But as usual, the story was convoluted.I started watching season 2 of Heroes this week, got about 5 minutes in and turned it off. My interest was dead. So I went with season 2 of Mad Men instead.I'm hoping to watch Defiance, Frost/Nixon, Vicky Christina Barcelona, Milk, Let The Right One In and Max Payne this weekend.Of course I have a lot of football to watch as well so I'll be lucky to watch more than one film.
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Jan 09, 2009 8:06:32 AM CST
I did the search on Amazon and got...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Bitch, Slut, Whore, Cunt by Hotbox. .79p for a digital download. Bargain.
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how else will you witness the glories of the ass-blaster?
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Jan 09, 2009 8:12:05 AM CST
"Who even watches Righteous Kill?"
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
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I'm having a splendid argument with some sanctimonious Guardian types about the England Cricket Fiasco (3 most common words in the English Sporting Lexicon). KP was right and the stuffed shirts at the ECB can all eat a dick. They keep deleting my posts, even one I didn't swear in.
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I bought Kindergarten Cop. One of the most quotable films ever. It's not a toooooooooooooomurrrrrr
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Which I refuse to do so, because I think it will be pish. Hilariously, the dude that plays Pinhead was originally cast as "piano mover number 2"
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Nice chap. Very humble, and quite humourous about his thoughts on some of the Horror remakes.
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who made the mistake of thinking he'd be able to orchestrate events to his liking. He's a shit captain as well. Granted he's a good batsmen. And thats where he should stay. Unfortunately English cricket is rampant with mediocrity.
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although he is a tool, he's spot fucking on in this case. The side is rampant with underachieving fucknuts that need dropping, but seem to be inexplicably bomb proof (Ian Bell, Steve Harmison, I am looking at you), and I bet it was one of them that leaked it.
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he's only 3 tests in- won 1 drawn 1 lost 1, and the loss they should have won if Monty hadn't bowled like such a cunt- nobody beats India in India.
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there's a load of sanctimonious cocksuckers on those boards (one of them in the cinema page has stolen MY AICN log in for his ID. The cunt) and it's great fun to take the contrary side to them.
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Jan 09, 2009 8:33:00 AM CST
OK. Shit captain may be a bit much...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
since he was basically shunted into the job. But he still apparently went to the ECB and gave them an ultimatum without enough support from the players and also was trying to woo Warnie and co when Moores was just offered a contract extension. This is just what I've heard. Anyway, it's a shambles. They need to find a team and settle it. Let them play and they should start to perform better. There are way too many changes made, but as you say, there are certain "marquee" players that never lose their place in the team unless there's a pedalo involved.
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He's got the most punchable face in world cricket, apart from Harbhajan Singh.
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Worst film of the year so far.
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Jan 09, 2009 8:44:08 AM CST
Some guy in the Transformers thread has posted...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
his opinion in 11,265 words. Fuucking ridiculous.
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There are some prime cunts playing cricket. Shoab Akhtar, Matt Prior, Jacques Kallis, Andrew Symonds, Every nation has them, petulant tossers.
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apparently he tried to sort out the moores mess in private, but teh ECB offered the 2 year extension despite knowing that moores isn't rated by half the dressing room and that his performance didn't warrant it. If I was as shit at my job as that complete fuckhead Moores is, I'd expect a P45 not a fucking raise.
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Jan 09, 2009 8:50:36 AM CST
Graeme Smith is a massive cunt
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
as is Jayasuriya.
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I've written scripts with less words.
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He's good, as proven with the Lankans.
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but I sort of like Chris Gayle. He's pleasingly insane. Moody won't come.
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See also Dhoni. Boucher. Ponting.
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You have reduced me to trolling the Transformers thread!
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Knocked Up hasn't aged well.
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It isn't so much the Cricket that I'm finding so interesting (although I do like it), it's the fiasco.
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Jan 09, 2009 9:19:26 AM CST
I love cricket, but it's especially amusing...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
to see english cricket in a constant state of uproar.
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Wasn't it only released in 2007? I thought it was ok but I have no intention of watching it again.
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Exactly - two years later, and the film went from 'awesome' to 'good' to 'this is pretty mediocre.'
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you just wait till an enraged KP twats your piss poor bowling attack all over the country this summer. That'll teach you to gloat. Apparently it was Vaughn that leaked it.
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and not even a good one.
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What? Give me a fucking break. I'm tired of all this "Nolan is so psychological" talk. Its really turning me off to the film now. I enjoyed it-- but I'm sick of hearing Nolan hailed as some master of psychology. The more I think about it-- Returns was much deeper. TDK is just more serious.
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Yeah, that's right. You have no one that's worth fuck all. And our 'piss poor' bowlers shit all over your pathetic excuse for bowlers.aaaah... the age-old ashes banter. Good for the soul.
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like eating a cheeseburger and punching some commies.AMURRICUHHH!!!
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I gave TDK 4/5, and BR 5/5.
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No, I don't actually have a son. And I'm not entirely sure what Ben 10 is, either, but my nephew got a bunch of Ben 10 shit for Christmas, so I assume kids love it.
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Monty>whoever is masquerading as a spinner now that Warne has retired. Anderson=Johnson Clarke lilkely to be injured and siddle blows so Broad wins that one. Lee>Harmison, but Lee returning from injury and Jones>pair of them.
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....I'd watch out.
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and revealing the inner shittiness in people. It's not psychological just larger than The Penguin's revenge shit.
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I have lots of time off in the school holidays and had to choose between watching it or Trisha because the TV aerial was being a slag.
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Not really. The Joker is an Agent of Anarchy, that's all the depth and psychology he has. Which is the point.
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is larger and less tangible than Penguin in BR.
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was when he was trying to explain his state of mind to Dent. I can't remember his exact words, but it went something like, "I'm like a dog chasing a car in the street. I wouldn't know what to do if I caught it!" I don;t know why that stuck with me so much, but it just felt to me like this almost poetic simile the Joker was painting of himself, and Ledger's delivery was perfect.Plus, the first time I heard the line, I pictured a pit bull running down a street, tongue trailing behind him, with Joker face paint on his face, scurrying up to one of those kick-ass 40s Tucker sedans and just ripping one of the doors off its hinges. That was just a really cool image to me.Danny, I don't think Nolan's a master of psychology by any means. Your comment just made me think of that part.
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Siddle doesn't blow. He's played 4 tests and taken 17 wickets. Kresja took 8 for a million against india in india. Monty just went for a million. Both Anderson and Johnson are wildly inconsistent. They can be great, such as Johnson taking 5 for 2 in the last test, but they can be horseshit as well. Jones is not the bowler he used to be.You do have shit, dead pitches and tiny grounds going for you though.
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Worked for me because he's an Anarchist... someone who only exists when on-screen. There's no backstory in TDK, no reason for what he does... he just does. His plan to bring Harvey down seems improvised on the spot, The Joker is just fucking things up because he feels like it.
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I think I have actually caught a fish in Transformers.Hooray for me!
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slanted bouncers sideways and he took out the tale. He's also never bowled in English conditions. Jones is the shit, but in and out of injury. If he's injury free, then he's the fastest and nastiest on both sides- and he's got the knack of cleaning out wickets just when needed. Monty isn't as good now as he was a few years ago, but he's light years better than any aussie- and he's cleaned up the best players of spin in the world. Freddie is one of the world's best fast bowlers- up there with the South Africans.It ain't our bowling that's fucking shite.
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of retirement. Then we'll get thrashed.
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That's the point. The Penguin had a motive. The Joker does not. He's got a much grander (and more crazy) plan than the penguin. Maybe metaphysical was the wrong word, but I couldn't think of another one for "chaos for chaos sake"
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Jan 09, 2009 9:56:44 AM CST
The english pitch will be your greatest advantage.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
It's fucking slow and dead. Yeah, Jones was great 4 years ago. Now? Monty was, is and always will be shit. If Siddle can take out the tail in every innings I can live with that. Johnson, Lee or Clarke can do the job on your rubbish top order. Just need to get KP out and its a house of cards. One moment Freddie is awesome, next he's shit. So who knows with that one. We also can bat down to 11. They may not be huge runs but they can hang around and make a handy 20 or 30.
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But BR gets into The Penguin's head. We understand him. Now I agree we're not meant to understand The Joker, but psychologically we get more from the first than the latter. The first case is a specific case study, the second is Nolan taking the trait of Anarchy and not exploring it. Which is good. He didn't need exploring. It was basically just Nolan doing a Bond villain in a realistic way.
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...Joker's motives are much more abstract. Doesn't mean its grander. Penguin would do everything he did in TDK if given the chance. But he would know exactly why he is doing it, and he would never destroy the cash.
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That is a good way to describe it. My point is-- people take Joker's abstract intentions and equate that with genius writing. Its not necessarily genius to write vague.
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Jan 09, 2009 9:59:35 AM CST
I wouldn't be surprised if Warnie did.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I'd be glued to the tv if he did. The 2005 series was brilliant (even if we did lose). 2006 was a joke. You guys capitulated like little bitches.
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Better than the awful QoS villain. I'm hoping the Bond series start having someone charismatic as the villain next time - note, not goofy... charismatic and interesting.
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.....Quantum of Solace has a villain with vague intentions and little to no back story and people call it lazy, TDK does the same and people call it genius. Fuck that.
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Jan 09, 2009 10:00:59 AM CST
But Bond villians always have a motive
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
To take over the world and whatnot. Nolans Joker just liked chaos.
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Jan 09, 2009 10:02:08 AM CST
QoS villian had about 5 minutes of screen time
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
The Joker had about an hour.
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...to be one of the most interesting villains yet in a Bond film.
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Hussey is in a desperate slump- which was well overdue, aside from Lords our pitches swing like a motherfucker, which your vaunted top order can't deal with. Clarke blows hot and cold. Get Ponting and we're into you. However, there's no disguising the absolute suck of Bell, Collingwood, and Prior. With Cook and Strauss likely to score at a snails pace and fuck knows what Freddie will get. I don't think he knows. Anderson and Monty can't bat, neither can Harmison. Broad to be top English scorer
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Hussey is in a desperate slump- which was well overdue, aside from Lords our pitches swing like a motherfucker, which your vaunted top order can't deal with. Clarke blows hot and cold. Get Ponting and we're into you. However, there's no disguising the absolute suck of Bell, Collingwood, and Prior. With Cook and Strauss likely to score at a snails pace and fuck knows what Freddie will get. I don't think he knows. Anderson and Monty can't bat, neither can Harmison. Broad to be top English scorer
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Hussey is in a desperate slump- which was well overdue, aside from Lords our pitches swing like a motherfucker, which your vaunted top order can't deal with. Clarke blows hot and cold. Get Ponting and we're into you. However, there's no disguising the absolute suck of Bell, Collingwood, and Prior. With Cook and Strauss likely to score at a snails pace and fuck knows what Freddie will get. I don't think he knows. Anderson and Monty can't bat, neither can Harmison. Broad to be top English scorer
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Jan 09, 2009 10:03:50 AM CST
I bet screen time is about equal between them....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...it just seems that way because QoS is very short and TDK is very long. I think its about a half hour for both.
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sorry guys.
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Jan 09, 2009 10:03:57 AM CST
And the QoS villian had a motive...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
To control Bolivian water. Take that Bond! Mucho agua!
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I see the hypocricy, but The Joker was played be a phenomenal actor. If the Quantum chap was played by something better, it could work. Good actors can make a role better than it's written.
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Jan 09, 2009 10:06:27 AM CST
I'm hoping its a series to rival 2005
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Just with the result swinging our way. The second test of 2005 was the deal breaker. If we'd pulled that off we would've taken the series. Damn umpire. Technically he wasn't out!
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And he did very well in that role. Especially when he is wildly swinging that axe and screaming.
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the joker was partially based on Burton's penguin. Which he doesn't seem to believe now. I maintain that they are totally different.
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Didn't see it, all I saw was some boring guy struggling to hold the frame.
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Do you know what Flintoff really said to Lee when he was crouching down next to him? It's bloody funny.
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I went round in a circle and ended up with a differing opinion.
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....but I watched TDK again for the second time at home. And Joker is really not holding up for me at all. His shtick is getting rather old and I find myself getting bored during his scenes. He's good-- he's just exactly the fucking same in every scene of the film. And what felt so real and raw in the theater (his performance) now feels very acted. That sounds odd but before when I first saw it I couldnt imagine Heath just stepping out of that role and being normal. Now I can totally see it. It feels more like line reading the more I watch it.
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Is Mathieu Amalric from that Butterfly and Diving Bell flick? I still have to see it.
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Because I read a review that said you had to have Casino Royale fresh in your mind and that put me right off. It's Bond not Bourne.
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What did he say?
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...the idea of just creating chaos and destruction with no demands is the similarity. He wants to infiltrate the Gotham government just to fuck things up. The difference is in the motive. But I see the similarity.
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Jan 09, 2009 10:12:02 AM CST
Frankie has successfully got the...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Transformers crowd riled up. Well played.
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See, I like the performance more 2nd time. But I never had this 'oh my god it's The Joker realised' reaction. It was always Heath acting, ya know? He did a great job, but I never stopped thinking he was acting.
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Jan 09, 2009 10:13:20 AM CST
you don't have to have Casino fresh in your mind....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
It actually works incredibly well as a standalone film. Sure-- he is getting revenge for Vesper and its a continuation of the story-- but a friend of mine saw it with me having never seen Casino, and loved it. He said it felt cool to not know what came before. Its sorta like a serial type feel where you start in the middle of the past adventure. It can still work as its own film. Its not like there are details from Casino you NEED to remember.
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I nearly died when I read "as a concerned parent".
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Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader are mugging up a treat in Knocked Up.
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and this is the photo that the press labelled as iconic, great sportsmanship. Incidentally, I think it's going to be tight, because Australia aren't a fraction of their former selves and we suck but have home advantage.
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Neither is funny, and they're making me dislike the film even more.
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And now someone is accusing me of being DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD!I reckon that's enough for today, though.
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"I am just a concerned parent and not well informed about these things."Fucking gold. 2nd prize goes to pillows for the squid question.
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I've always thought he's a cunt. This confirms it.
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Not cricket, I hope.Is it cricket?
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You have to know what a crumpet is to understand cricket!
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Jan 09, 2009 10:29:02 AM CST
It's funny because of the picture, and all the "Great Sportsmans
by lost jarv
bollocks, when it's obvious he's a stroppy chav.
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If he reads those 2 posts I've just put up then he'll shit. I'm half Scottish, and like the place, but he'll explode.
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But am incredibly bored by cricket.And I haven't seen Knocked Up. Is it not good? In haven't seen 40 Year Old Virgin, either. Superbad was good, though.
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I like 40 Yr Old Virgin. It's fun.
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40 Year Old Virgin was good.Superbad was shit.
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It's most definitely not worth it. And since there's been all this cricket talk, let's pepper it with some football talk. No surprise that Florida beat Oklahoma. Superior defenses will always win. I also think that will quiet down talk about Texas being a factor as #1. Their conference is very overrated, and clearly the argument would be USC vs. Florida. THAT would have had me pumped up to watch a championship game.
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I laughed my ass off for that entire film, although it's possible I'm slightly retarded.
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It's funny, but could be a lot better. Jonah Hill, when ranting, can be hilarious.
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Now I'm not sure whether I conned him or he conned me.No one is really that daft and unpleasant, are they?
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I've got a bad feeling about it. Without Boldin...man, I don't think they'll score enough. I'm not a big Panther believer, but this ain't looking good, especially if there's shitty weather too. Could be a blood bath Xi.
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I prefer 40 year old Virgin.
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the Guardian tried to explain it but I was even more confused.
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I'm slapping him around for kicks. He'll give up.
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Jan 09, 2009 10:53:42 AM CST
Okay, I'll see if I can get 40 YOV for this weekend
by franklin t marmoset
It's a hermits weekend for me, and I'm off up Blockbuster tonight to get Eastern Promises anyway, so I might as well get that one, too.I'm aiming for 8 films this weekend, which will take my total up to 13 for the year.
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Hated Knocked up.
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It's all about the passion. When one goes to a certain college, it means more when that college team does well than say a professional sporting team, where you don't have that "identity" with them. I love the college atmosphere much better.Off to the gym now.
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I found Superbad too juvenile. I think if I was 18 I would've loved it.
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I'm on my 13th film.
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the uni is in that didn't go to the university. Is this because you don't have clubs per se- rather it's franchise based so can in theory move around? It isn't a permanent fixture of the community so you transfer loyalty on to the college side?
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Some of us have to pretend to be working for eight hours a day.Eight fucking hours!
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I'm on my 14th.
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He keeps accusing people of being Yanks, but most of the people winding him up have been English.
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Jan 09, 2009 11:02:23 AM CST
I don't get the attachment to college sports at all...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
They're breeding Ivy League graduates that can barely spell!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!
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And I know he has a job.What's my excuse?
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If I could find some way to watch a film at the gym, that would be another one a day, easy.Plus, I waste two hours a day walking to and from work. If I mounted some sort of portable DVD player to my head, that's another one a day right there!
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You keep stopping your kids from seeing anything adult.
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You can fit a DVD player to the harness and watch while being carried to work.
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Every time I staple his eyelids to his forehead and force him to watch The Thing, he just cries and cries and cries.What's a concerned parent like me to do?
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Ask him if he's retarded, then tell him you're the God-damn Franklin. That'll put him in his place.
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The CoC has worn him down.
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He tried to change the subject back to Transformers.It's like when Gerald McClellan took a knee in the ninth round against Nigel Benn.He's got nothing left!
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For the record, didn't find Batman Returns deep at all. The characters are almost purposefully archetypes, and while some think the idea is Penguin and Catwoman are the split sides of Batman, I think it's more likely that Burton was shaving off pieces of himself and juxtaposing them onto Batman characters. Dark Knight, love it or hate it's approach, worked to make them distinct characters and people. I'm glad you like BR and it worked for you Danny, but I don't think it's deeper than DK. Also, I think Jarv is right about the metaphysical bit without it being pompous.
I also think people jumping on the hate train is no different than people hopping on the love train if it's just because everyone is there. HOD disliked DK when everyone was still singing it's praises. That made sense. Danny you loved DK, and I've also seen the movie a few times since on DVD and I don't find myself finding it "nothing special." The thing that I appreciate about both BR and DK is that they don't feel similar at all. I'm happy to have different takes that are also successful. Now, Schumacher's movies are also different, but not in a good way.
Enough of that though. I saw Bolt 3-D and Fears of the Dark over the past two days. Bolt is actually quite good, and I can see why many animated films are choosing the 3D as their mode of presentation. In Bolt it really seemed to deepen the experience and wasn't just a gimmick. Disney did a really fine job with that film, IMO.
Fears of the Dark is a completely different animated film-an anthology of horror stories, and it will be desired viewing for fans of graphic novels. Kung-fu, get to it. It's overall success? I dunno. I didn't get into it that much. It was cool to see though. The watch-a-thon continues. -
That was a fun day today. I liked it.Good weekends to all. See you next week.
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It's just slowly creeping down the ranks of my list. And I'm liking it less and less as a Batman film and more as a crime/drama sort of film. I think Eckhart is my favorite person in it. Bale just really bores the shit out of me as Bruce Wayne.
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I really do. I think he's been the best Bruce Wayne so far. His Batman isn't great though.
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Jan 09, 2009 11:37:56 AM CST
I think he could have done the Frank Miller Batman....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....because Bale seems like a fucking prick.
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I don't think he was a prick. At all.
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Probably because in other films, when Bale gets mad it's somewhat scary. In Batman, it isn't. And he does do the 'cocky-prick' thing well.
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I'm up to 18 films. Hope to get to some this weekend. Any recommendations anyone?
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Not even the moments when Bruce is meant to be cocky. I dunno what it is. Bale just can't play a nice guy. I never once believe he is truly concerned about the city even though he says it 5,000 times. I don't buy Bale's Bruce caring about anyone other than himself. And that clashes with the selfless Batman they are trying portray there.
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are when he's interacting with Alfred.
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Jan 09, 2009 11:47:03 AM CST
he was his same prickish self in Rescue Dawn.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
That was a big problem with that film for me. I didn't give a fuck what happened to the guy. You wanna beat him to death? Whatever....just let Zahn live!!
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Daddy Day Camp
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have you seen Mandy Lane? I'll let you know what it's like.
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Jan 09, 2009 11:50:16 AM CST
that line "In the middle of the day Alfred....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....not very subtle." Rachel is dead at that point, right? Am i mistaken?
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I think she is.
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But that's neither here nor there, and it's a writing flaw not an acting one. Once she died, Bruce and Alfred barely mention her- he hardly seems cut up. In fact, the only person that seems to care is Dent.
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Jarv, I didn't care for it all that much. It's not terrible. I just didnt find it very special. It takes alot with those sorts of things though. Did you see Spiral(not the Japanese film) Jarv? I think that's worth seeing.
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so it's a bit meh? Hmmm, well, Mrs. Jarv really wanted to see it, so I suppose it will have to do.
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.....in my 3rd viewing. Because the story is so cluttered-- there is no time to let Bruce grieve other than for a minute when he first comes back to his place and Alfred comforts him. Moments like that "Not very subtle," are odd because it feels like the next day Bruce is completely fine and back to his cocky self. It also feels like there is not enough relationship between Bruce and Harvey. I thought that would have felt very cool if Bruce went to Harvey's bedside and talked to him. Its like they are linked now forever through Rachel in an odd way. That would have actually been a cool way to end it-- to leave Harvey as the villain for a 3rd film and develop his transition better. They could have not had Joker come to the hospital and had the entire climax play out ass is-- but Bruce takes Harvey to his place to protect him. So they final scene is Bruce at Harvey's side after he brings down Joker. -
I think BB would've been better if Harvey was used instead of Rachel. Play up that friendship. Then in TDK, you do Danny's stuff.
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That is a writing flaw from a script weakened by covering too much, I agree. But Bale brags about how tight he is with Nolan and how they think the story is what matters most and all that. Wouldn't Bale as an actor, bring that up as an issue. "Why isn't Bruce more fucked up for the rest of the movie over Rachel?" You could have easily made him more fucked up looking in later scenes and adjusted a few lines. Maybe a quick scene at her graveside-- as cliché as that is, it needed something.
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You mean setup Harvey in Begins instead of Bruce's romance with Rachel? That is interesting. I thought it would have worked well to have Harvey and Rachel working together in Begins. Maybe back then the 3 of them were pretty right. It would have made the whole thing all the more tragic. -
the character was woefully underwritten from the start- and TDK just continued on from this. The relationship consistently felt false. I think you really dislike Bale (the way I dislike Hanks and Cruise) and are attributing flaws to him that aren't actually his.To be honest, I'd like to see NO love interest in Batman 3.
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I think showing Harvey as one of the guys in BB inspired by Batman would've been great. Batman creates Harvey like Batman creates The Joker. Then in TDK, Joker breaks Harvey. It hurts more because Batman knows he's responsible for Harvey. So at the end, you have Batman dealing with the fact that his bringing hope to people means they fall harder.
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...I read my post and realized it made no sense. I meant NOT had Joker come to the hospital. Gotten rid of that whole bit. Instead have Bruce go to hospital and sneak Harvey out of there when all hells breaks loose. And then the ferry climax as-is and end it with Bruce and Harvey together.
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I think we can all agree with that. Batman should be beyond a love interest at this point.
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I wish that studios would realise that Batman etc doesn't need a love interest. Women don't go to action movies for romance. Anyhoo. On that note, I'm off.
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Thats an excellent idea-- to have Harvey inspire Bruce to do more to help the city when he first comes back in Begins. That would be cool if they were old friends and he sees him give a speech and sees the newspaper headlines where they call him THE WHITE KNIGHT and Bruce is sorta jealous that Rachel is so smitten with him. All that leads to Bruce wanting to do something with his life. It could have been one massive arc of the rise and fall of Bruce and Harvey's relationship.
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Like Danny's, Bruce and Harvey meet in the hospital. But it flips. You show Harvey flipping a coin... then Bruce in the Batcave. Alfred arrives. He asks Bruce what he's doing... Bruce, sad and resigned, says he's waiting for Harvey to strike.
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That would work. And end it in the fucking BATCAVE!! With a lot of Harvey stuff cut and saved for the third film, they could have used some of that time to see Alfred and Bruce working on the cave. By the end, its ready and we see it for the first time since Begins. If Batman is waiting for Harvey to strike-- I want the last few shots to be A FUCKING SUIT-UP SEQUENCE!!
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There was NO BATCAVE in TDK. Urgh.
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Too much TB time today. I need to go write that damn article. Laters.
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Jan 09, 2009 12:15:02 PM CST
and now Nolan's written himself into a wall....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....by wasting Two-Face in the second film. Joker's story feels complete-- I don't really want to see more of him. And they say Two-Face is done, but even if he came back it would feel forced and cheesy the way they closed it. So what....introduce a new villain? So you have to set it up and close it out in one film again? Fuck that. Why don't they realize that is their greatest weakness-- introducing and killing a villain in one film is too difficult to pull off well. I want an arc that spans several films and makes me care about this person. It felt like there should be so much more to TDK story, like the things we're talking about here. But instead we'll get a new random villain for the 3rd film, having nothing to do with the previous film, and if they do connect it somehow it will feel tacked on like connecting Sandman to Peter's uncle. Stupid.
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and the fourth film. Two-face is alive, but being kept somewhere that they deem safe, out of the public eye. Batman is on the run, more criminals are on the loose because Batman is spending too much time avoiding the cops, that crime fighting is suffering. One of the villains finds out about two-face and at the end of the movie springs him free. This leads to the fourth movie.
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200 will still be pushing it for me this year.
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Hhhhmmmm......so what would be the events that make up the film? And the problem with the "Batman on the run" and crime in Gotham getting out of control because of it (which they'll probably do) doesn't really make sense. For one thing he has proven he is quite capable of fucking up the cops and the bad guys, so he wouldn't necessarily need to stop crime-fighting, he just wouldn't have the cops help. Except Gordon would still be feeding him info on the down low. It just doesn't sound exciting. Its like every time Bond is fired and Q takes away his Double-O status. Its just predictable and we always know by the end they're gonna bring him back. I wish Harvey wasn't dead. But bringing him back would be very soap-operaish desperation, like surprise!! We realized we needed him, so he didn't really die. He's just been hiding!
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Just comes across as a less threatening version of Patrick Bateman and the dude he played in Shaft.Also, there was a Batcave, but it just wasn't literally a cave.
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Realistically, you have no proof that he is dead. I realize he wasn't wearing protective armor like Batman, but what's to say he just didn't have a bunch of broken bones, perhaps a concussion? And I beg to differ, as a "cop-killer", the cops would be coming at him much harder than at any time before. It's a whole new ballgame, plus the public would have turned against him one can presume. I would insert a so-called anti-Batman swat team a la Blade II. These guys were trained to take Batman down. We can also witness the rise of some villains (I don't know his gallery, but there's got to be some other good villains) who Batman also tries to battle while trying not to get caught by the cops. It's these villains that breakout Two Face.
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Jan 09, 2009 12:46:49 PM CST
I'm still at zero movies this year...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
But I did watch all of Band of Brothers so thats an accomplishment. I'll break my movie drought this weekend.
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Jan 09, 2009 12:49:14 PM CST
This is a random Spiderman question
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
But what happened to Peters parents? How'd they die?
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So what was your overall opinion on it droid?
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I'm not sure. I used to read the comic a long time ago, but I don't remember ever reading how they died. I think things ended up getting silly with some clone business or something like that.
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that's my answer to the Spidey question.
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In a word... Brilliant. A couple of the episodes were amazing, like the second last one where they come across the labour camp. I'm really looking forward to The Pacific now.
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I like that idea. It would look cool visually. But the issue becomes......if there is a team of guys capable of roughing up Batman (obviously they won't defeat him, but they'll fuck him up good) then why the fuck doesn't Gotham PD just use those guys to fight crime? If you have a force of good that can rival Batman, he starts to lose his purpose of existing.
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It is a superb mini-series in which all the praise that is heaped upon it is completely justified.
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I would say some time has passed between the 2nd and 3rd films, to finish this special anti-crusader SWAT team. Hence the reason why they haven't been unveiled yet to fight crime. Cop killers are #1 priority right now, aka Batman. Perhaps they have some success against Batman and knock him out of commission just long enough for them to basically take over his crime fighting duties. They enjoy some success in cleaning up Gotham, public support is behind this special ops group. Batman begins to seriously doubt himself...losing his purpose for existing since Batman has come to define him. He's lost himself in the Batman persona since Rachel has died and Harvey became Two Face.
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It's finally something thats lived up to the praise.I just watched the Last House on the Left trailer. Looks pretty fucked up, actually in a good way. Goldwyns great. I haven't seen the original one so I was surprised that the story goes that way.
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but maybe that special ops group has a link to the Joker somehow. I'm just trying to think of a way to 'turn' them to bad guys so that Batman is needed to save Gotham from them. I don't know...
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No shit. I totally agree with all the people who say that this can never feel like a complete trilogy if Two Face is allowed to die like that, and then just introduce some random villain.
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....that is interesting, but difficult to pull off without feeling forced.
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...and screaming at his poor wife "I FUCKING TOLD YOU I SHOULD SAVE TWO-FACE FOR PART 3!! I FUCKING TOLD YOU!! YOU SAID (in mocking female tone) TODAY'S AUDIENCES WANT TWO VILLAINS-- FUCK YOU!! FUCK YOU!! FUCK YOU, YOU DUMB BITCH!! I TOLD YOU I SHOULDN'T DO IT!! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!! YOU RUINED.......EVERYTHING!! GET MY GUY ON THE PHONE. GET HIM ON THE FUCKING PHONE!! TELL HIM I NEED SOME HEAVY SHIT TONIGHT. SOMETHING TO HELP ME SLEEP. JUST FUCKING DO IT!!"
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Naw, we've already seen the SWAT team going after Batman and it's arguably the worst part in the movie. I think they really need to do a smaller, more personal story for the third.
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Jan 09, 2009 1:15:34 PM CST
Why Nolan killed off Two Face....
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Because he wanted a bargaining chip. If he leaves Two Face set up for a third he's basically saying he wants to come back for the third film. Now he can play hardball and get that second truckload of cash backed up onto his front lawn.He business savvy ol' Nolan is.
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Oh so good......he fucked up the story and strength of a trilogy in favor of mounds of cash. Fucking asshole. He already proved what kind of person he is by giving Heath that tiny fucking dedication at the ass end of the credits. Uhhhhh hello....asshole-- the only reason people cared about your fucking movie was because of Heath. Be thankful.
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I really didn't want to see it. I was tore because the idea really seemed like these two boners I could see myself in, but I didn't think that little Hill Troll had any relationship to funny. But dag nabit if that little ball of fat didn't having me chuckling like is was Chuckle Fest 06 all over again. I liked that movie, its DTF.
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Thomas Jane lite is a pooper scoop of an actor and has made one awesome movie to Thomas Jane's amazing collection of cinematic history, In the Company of Men.
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Your friends and neighbours and Nurse Betty (to a lesser extent. He was good in it). The Core is one of my fav dumbhouse flicks.
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That movie is going to RUWL!!!
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You liked the Core??? I can't stand that movie, its like one of those lame ass amusement park movies, the ones where you sit in a chair that jerks around. You know like Star Tours.
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Okay it's time to turn up the heat on Transformers - Revenge of the Fallen. We've waited low in the weeds letting all the summer movies get their stuff out. We've seen the great year end movies, and watched the upcoming clips of the upcoming summer fare. We've seen certain movies coming out even try to duplicate Transformer size robots in their ads. Please, come on.
Well, I promise you we will rock your world with Transformers 2. The fans wanted ROBOTS KICKING ASS - well we got it. Today we are releasing the teaser poster and soon the onslaught will continue with a steady drum beat until June 26th.
I'll keep you informed.
Bay -
I'm not fucking kidding...hehehehe. http://tinyurl.com/9bgsnp
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I was more talking about a SWAT team within a SWAT team specifically formed to take out Batman, but maybe it wouldn't work.
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I mean we are talking like MAJOR MAJOR KICK ASS!!! There are at least 4 to 5 fight scenes in which Shia LaBute and Man Women Fox stand there (BOTH IN HALTER TOPS!) disscussing the awesomeness of the fight thats happening just to the left of the screen. AND OH man that fight was amazing. YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT!
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Jan 09, 2009 1:37:42 PM CST
I enjoyed the hell out of The Core
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Its completely ridiculous and knows it. I would almost call it a spoof of disaster flicks.
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is called stuffblowsup.jpg!
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And then we got this one scene where Johnathan Taturo, Jon Voigt, Megatron and Optimus are all surrounded by all the other Transformers like...well I don't really know their names. And its the final battle scene AND ITS A YO MAMMA CONTEST! Oh its so funny, just wait to you hear the Megatron rip Opitumus's mom apart with a fat joke. Its probably the coolest ending "battle" you have ever seen.
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Yeah, I knew what you meant. Just sayin.
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That must have been a glitch.
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OH Yeah yes yes yes, of course there will be many explosions. Every scene has at least 4-5 explosions just happening just because. In fact here is a explosion happening during a lunch meeting between Bumble Bee and Optimus where they talk about Bumble's low performance as of late. And it turns out that Bumble is having issues at home and Optimus helps him realize that he needs to work through it and the he will never give Bumble's wife any reason to worry for Bumble's life. Its a really touching point in the film. http://tinyurl.com/9bgsnp
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...SWAT is just the wrong way to say it. They are like covert assasins in tactical suits. They are what I think Bale's Bruce Wayne would really become instead of Batman.
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Isn't that the one where the hacker kid hacks the planet? Hee hee.
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From the transformers tb..."Um, he did turn into a big gun. Twice. Watch it again. This time use pause and slow it down like I did. He turns into, basically, a giant artilary canon and his entire frame is used in the transformation. He is not remotely "holding" a gun in that sequence."
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...in response to me pointing out how greased up all the actors always are in Michael Bay films.
"Strange how DICKBLOOD manages to conjur up the same ideas as Memories-Of-Murder. M-O-M used to complain that Bay filmed Megan Fox in such a way so as to make her look like she had been covered with 10 gallons of semen. Apparently, the cinematic result of hi-def close-ups of a person filmed outdoors, sweating in the California heat were lost on him." -
That Last House On the Left remake looks pretty sweet.
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About Computer Animation on right now. Its pretty awesome.
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Even though we have reason to believe that this will be a much better movie than the first, I still can't bring myself to give a shit about it. Does anyone else here feel like that or have I just become cynical?
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Have you seen any of Michele Bay's sequels? Cough Cough Bad Boys 2? All Transformers 2: Die Harder is going to be is just fucking ludicrous speed of nonsense.
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I'm looking forward to Transformers 3. Because then they'll have 'gone to plaid'!
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Jan 09, 2009 2:18:52 PM CST
What's the matter Colonel Sandurz?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Chicken?
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There's only one man who would dare give me the raspberry!LONE STAR!
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WE AIN'T FOUND SHIT!
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...that movie was fun as hell and Henry Rollins is in it. That being said....I can give two fucks about Transformers. I was absolutely bored with the first one and I don't find that greasy whore attractive. She's stripper/suck my dick for $100 bucks hot....but thats about it.
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I wouldn't.
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Jan 09, 2009 2:24:10 PM CST
How many assholes we got on this ship?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
YO!!!
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Jan 09, 2009 2:24:16 PM CST
You guys want to know my thoughts on the next Batman?
by hawaiian organ donor
LET ME WRITE IT! People's heads will be spinning when they walk out of the theater from overexposure to AWESOMENESS.Love interest? Gone.A convoluted story and plot holes a-plenty? Gone.Wall to wall action with campy villians, a suit up sequence and epic Bat Signal reveals? You betcha!And it warms my heart that Danny is finally starting to see some chinks in the armor. He'll never hate it like I do, but it's nice to see someone start to come around. In fact, I see more and more people here seeing the flaws in the writing. It warms the cockles of my cholesterol filled heart.I wonder what would happen if I remained drunk the entire weekend. I need a beer stat.
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I think it was hot pockets? that the kid wanted?
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Jan 09, 2009 2:25:12 PM CST
I see your schwartz is as big as mine!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
May the schwartz be with you!
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You don't have to bring race into it.
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Because Pillow continues to love it!You're all dirty little billie bastards.
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How are you doing?
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1,2,3,4,5? Thats the comination an idiot has on his luggage!Whats the combination?1,2,3,4,5 sir.Really? Thats the combination on my luggage!
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Like i said, a spoof. Lots of ridiculous tongue-in-cheek fun.
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Jan 09, 2009 2:29:57 PM CST
and my problems with TDK are different than most......
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....I don't have any of those "Why didn't they check the ferry for bombs" gripes about it. I just accept that as a device for movie tension that everyone uses. My problems have always been with Bale. When I first saw it I was raving about it on here but saying Returns is still the supreme Batman film. And on repeat viewings its just become less and less enjoyable because it is so damn heavy and gloomy. I dunno....somehow Returns was gloomy as well, but Burton was able to maintain a sense of fun and adventure at the same time. Maybe thats his real talent.
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Great freakin YG reference! I'll bet most people don't even understand it.
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That is the worst fucking movie ever made. I've had visits to the DMV that were funnier.
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where he's rich and becomes homeless for a day or something? I've seen one with Brooks about 15 years ago that went like that. It was shit.
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Probably that one. Haven't seen it.
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Did you ever notice that part in The Core when the birds are flying against the windows and they put a fish in there with all the birds? It was just an in joke by the special effects guys.
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Genius. I love that film. It's definitely a dumbhouse fav. Whats the metal called? Unobtanium? So stupid.How could you not love a flick where the earths core stops spinning because of "Project DESTINI" and the only way to restart it is to nuke it.I want to watch it again now.
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Yeah, no shit. You just have to pause it during the bird scene to see it. It's so stupid to see a fish bouncing off the window of a skyscraper with a bunch of birds.
Here's what IMDb says about it.
"Incorrectly regarded as goofs: At about 9 minutes into the film, when the pigeons are all dying, the people run from Trafalgar Square into a building with large windows at the front. Moments later, we see several birds striking and breaking the windows. If you watch carefully, you will see that at least two of the birds that hit the window are, in fact, fish. This was deliberately put in by filmmakers as an inside joke." -
YG II, and I use it all the time but I think you're the only one who has picked up on it. Muchas gracias.I'd rather drink terpentine and piss on a brush fire...I ain't touching that one.
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Its fucking horrible. I swear it seems like a half hour goes by with not one joke. And Mel Brooks plays the main character and he is fucking annoying. -
and I missed the flying fish.When you think about it, not enough movies have flying fish in them.
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I'd say goodluck to ya Hawaiian, but I'm hoping for the very improbable upset by the Cards. I just don't want to see the Ravens win, because they play so fucking ugly I can't stand watching their games.
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This issue of Captain America I'm reviewing... it is amazingly repugnant.
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Fucking pathetic.
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Which issue? Spill.
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Jan 09, 2009 3:02:56 PM CST
An upset by the Cards? Is that the treatment I get?
by hawaiian organ donor
Damn. I give you movies, you give me grief. You cut me, Pillow. You cut me deep.It goes OK, Herb. I need heavy doses of booze though.Mel Brooks is touch and go. Last movie he made that was funny is Spaceballs. Before that it was Blazing Saddles I believe.The best part of Spaceballs is when they put in the tape of the actual movie and are watching themselves. Genius.
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#367. I'm reviewing it for Monday. Up for 4pgs, and the end rant may be a page in itself.
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I don't find any of that Star Wars parody shit funny. Its just so fucking easy. I think the Brooks film I most enjoyed was Robin Hood.
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DocP is about to have a coronary in the Transformers TB.
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But the braille Playboy bit was genius.
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What's that, for school or what?
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For personal amusement, and anyone else's. I saw there were few people on the Net doing in-depth rants on these ridiculous comic-books, and I wanted to go back to doing pseudo-articles.
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I meant to tell you, we've been checking out your stats over at mymavra.com and your reviews seem to be pretty popular with our readers. Do you plan on submitting more?
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Sure. When I get around to reviewing, I usually submit them.
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Look, I've talked to all the other partners and we are prepared to offer you some profit sharing if you want to continue to contribute. If you're interested, contact me here. http://tinyurl.com/a8zcp7
Call me Herb. -
Did he desert us for the Transformers TB?
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What the hell happened to everyone else? Winston read so many comics his head exploded.
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Just watching (and being completely baffled by) Max Payne.
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...I'm the only person on the planet that thought so. It looks well shot and entertaining and the trailer felt like a video game. I like Marky Mark. The only shit side was it wasn't R. But I haven't seen it. Its shit?
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I gave Captain America #367 a 1 out of five. Fuck that repugnant piece of shit.
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Haven't seen it, but Christ... the only fun part of the game was the slow-motion gun-fights. It's hardly a great story. So long as the film has fun action scenes, I'll dig it.
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I'm nearing the end and the story line makes little to no sense thus far. Something about military experiments and drugs. The look of the film is actually very good. I've played the games (which I enjoyed) and they were incredibly violent for the time. The aim of the games is to shoot every single person you encounter. This needed to be R. It's not nearly violent enough. Not enough action. And if you want to know where Chris O'Donnell has gone, he has a shit, blink and you'll miss it role.
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The best film starring Ahnuld as a suicidal cop who can stop the Apocalypse. YOOOO ARE A FUCKING CHOOOOOOOOIRRRRRRRRRR BOYYYY COMPARED TOOOOOOOO MEEEEEEEEEEE!
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Jan 09, 2009 4:14:29 PM CST
"if you want to know where Chris O'Donnell has gone"
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Why would you though?
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Are you kidding? He was the Goddamn Robin, yo.
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Jan 09, 2009 4:21:16 PM CST
Also, the Max Payne villian...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
is the most obvious villian I've seen in a while. And he has a Bond villian style explanation thats ludicrous. The villian leaves Payne for dead saying "Screw him. He'll freeze to death." Yeah. Right.Fittingly, Ludacris is in it as a cop!
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Sorry had to go get my car registered. BABYLON AD TIME MOTHER FUCKERS!!! I have a feeling I'm gonna like it.
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How old is it? Which part of the storyline does it fall in?
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Oh, I'm game. Bring it on!
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No idea, but Magneto fights the Red Skull. And they start discussing The Holocaust. Fucking awful.
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I've seen it. It's shit. Please explain the ending to me if you somehow break the encryption.
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I got a box set of his for Christmas. Its got High Aniexity in it. I think my favorite of his is History of the World part 1. It's good to be the king. Shit no one told me my homeboy from The Protector RZA did the Babylon A.D. Sound track. FUCKING TIGHT!
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Looked pretty funny, but then I remembered how cool Hitman looked at first and that movie sucked balls. Also Max Payne is directed by Harry Knowles.
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About all I remember of that movie now is Kevin Pollack on fire, but still doing shtick. Pretty funny
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Drunken, suicidal Ahnuld is hilarious.
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Cheers for the e-mail, Herb. I'd stay and watch the rest of End of Days, but I figure an X-Men cartoon before bed makes more sense.
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"And they start discussing The Holocaust." That sounds freakin awesome. How could that possibly be bad?
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And why is it showing in a theater down the street from me?
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they started killing a bunch of people after the fight instead of just talking about it. Sure, Cap could come in and bust up their good time, like the boy scout he is, but "discussing the holocaust" sounds about as action packed as constipation.
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Thats weird the trailer says that its only showing from Jan 9-15. It a serial killer story now done by After Dark films? Trailer here http://www.shockya.com/news/2008/12/29/butterfly-effect-3-revelation-movie-trailer/
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Okay. The last 20 minutes delivers some decent action, but it's not nearly enough to redeem it. A movie like this requires an R/18, and constant gratuitous action for its entirety. It takes an hour to get going. And it's an hour of incomprehensible "plot" and turgid dialogue. I did like the look of the film though. And Mila Kunis' new found hotness is completely wasted.
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Death Race tonight as well. And Milk. Now that's a MANs MAN Film double feature. Triple if you count Babylon AD which I'll finish later.
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Jan 09, 2009 4:45:43 PM CST
Ha! They're kidding themselves!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
There's a mid-credits sequence that sets up a sequel. Dickheads.
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An absolute piece of shit. Joan Allen should be embarrased. That is all.
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They actually look like they have some interesting films this year. The new one from the guy that did Cashback.
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I didn't see a single annoying trailer this time around for Horrorfest? Weird, usually they pollute everything.
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It actually looks alright. I would like to see a BE movie do well. It's a great concept if someone could do it right.
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both Doomsday and Death race are fucking awesomely schlocktacular. Joan Allen should probably be embarrassed, I'll give you that.
Meanwhile, I finally saw Crank today. Brainless fun, but that ending is beyond ridiculous. He just bounces off a car after seemingly falling from orbit? How high was that fucking chopper? He should have atomised in a crater! -
Just watched this one from HOD's batch. Good. The cop was too sensible to get suckered by the girl, though, knowing who she was and what she was into. Having said that, she's well tidy, so I'll let him off. Can't believe his Mum would go back into pocket picking. Not after eating a razor blade!Out of this week's movies, Mr. Socrates is the one my mind keeps returning to. Very cool.
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Yeah, I hated them. They were shit. I do enjoy schlock on occasion. Those were just too shit for me. Enjoy all you want.
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Took a second run at this over Christmas. Not got a problem with Bale or the bat voice. Not got a problem with the writing. Good movie. Haven't seen an arguement to convince me otherwise. That's as deep as I'm dipping my toe into that discussion.
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will i be able to fly?
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Jan 09, 2009 5:23:02 PM CST
Ludacris as a cop?!! AWWWWW HELL NAAAWWWWW....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....he stole that fuckin' role right out Xzibit's hands. That's food outta his shorty's mouth!! FUCK THAT. Someone needs ta' drop that fool.
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Think it's top! The bit where Eckhart gives it the full "I was screaming for you!" at the Swank is golden.
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And Eckhart yelling for Tcheky Karyo is a complete pisstake of Armageddon. I was totally expecting him to yell out "Harry, I love you!"
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you never now when ur next move might be ur last
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and all we are doing is talking about movies? its all fucked up
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its dark here and i cant see keyboard. expect bad results
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You are right, it is incredibly fucked up.
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I go away to watch some trailers and it got serious.I come here to talk movies and it gets me away from the TV news. But I take your point. It is fucked up."As a species we're fundamentally insane."
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Haven't talked to you all year. How goes it?
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Looks like it could be fairly cool. And I like the look of Skjult. The music cue on Coweb is off Matrix 2, only slowed down - pretty sure of that. Dead Snow is a must.
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is it really you?It goes swimmingly. How's yourself? You've been strangely quiet of late.
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I'm accusing you of being quiet and I've hardly been on meself!
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I've popped in a few times, but was not timing it well, I guess. Holiday's being all over means things should get back to normal. Also, I am not much in the know on all of the big superhero debates going on around here lately, so I've tried to avoid them. Better to keep silent and be thought a fool... ;)
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They should be appreciated while they last.
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you'd be spending more time on your own site anyway.
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written the review I was threatening to do for you. Was thinking about it but got distracted, probably by something shiny.
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I've been watching some movies but I haven't written much. I'm such a slacker. I have a review of "Mum and Dad" that's been halfway done for over a week. Just terrible!
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Can I see?
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Did not like the look of that movie, not one bit. But, it got a good review in DVD Review magazine over here. Is it decent?
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DO NOT, and I will repeat this, DO NOT under any circumstances land in Germany during it's worst cold spell in about a million years while wearing light weight tropical utility uniforms and no cold weather gear. To say it's colder then a witches tit is insult to both breasts and witches. I just had to drop over 400 bucks at base exchange to outfit myself and a corporal because we got here late(thanks US Fucking Navy) and missed our flight to the states. Now it's so fucking cold, aircraft travel is suspended temporarily because they ran out of deicing shit for the wings of planes.
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With our respective reviews... once we get tired of looking st shiny things. Just send it along whenever. It would always be welcome.
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Instant distraction. Must have been a magpie in a previous life. Magpies like shiny things too. Actually, I think it was twinkly lights that did it.
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It was on e of the weirdest movies I've ever seen. Torture porn is the only way to properly descibe it. Winter in Germany sounds overly frigid, and frigid is never a good thing, so I've heard.
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Welcome to Europe On Ice!
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Going bedways now.Goodnight, folk.
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Question to both of you. We're expecting a storm later tonight, but it probably isn't anything compared to Europe. Just a few inches of snow.
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And Fuck it's cold. Where the hell is all the BS global warming at?
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Stay warm.
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It's currently -14 degrees celcius which is I think 5 or six degrees fahrenheight. However you convert it is cold.
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It will eventually be carried to us by mosquitos, then we will all have it.
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I suddenly feel much warmer than I did.
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if we weren't carring weapons I would buy us tickets on a civilian airline, but the Navy, in all it's wisdom screwed up on the weapon transport schedule and we have to do it ourselves. I'm sure the airlines would balk at us and the crap we are hauling.
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What do they want you to carry....snakes?
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at least when there is no wind. When it gets really cold in the middle of winter, it can drop in the -30s and 40s with the windchill. Windchill is a major bitch. And why wouldnt a commercial flight let you in with your army stuff? They let Uma Thurman bring her stupid sword on board in Kill Bill.
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The way it was suppossed to work was that when we got to Krautland we were going to go civilian airlines. Since we are now hauling weapons we have to stay with the military transport and the weather wiped that out. So here we are freezing our asses off.
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I've been in Africa for six months and when I left on Thrusday, it was like 74 degrees. Nearly zero is painful my man.
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yeah but Uma is a reasonably attractive broad. Me and the corporal are not. That's how she got away with it.
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It must be a major adjustment considering you've been in warmer areas for so long.
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drastic changes in temperature like that are usually how it happens. I caught another nasty one this week, after finally being rid of the one I got just before the holidays.
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Okey dokey. If y'all say so....
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That Xiphos and crew are not doing the "Some Like it Hot" routine to get a warmer ride. You are muy macho!
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something about her square face just isnt right. I've never been a fan of her acting either.
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But never really been a fan of hers.
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The sudden change of countries is because we're going home but there was no straight way of doing it so we had to go through Germany.I find Uma Thurman oddly attractive for some reason but I can't explain why I do. Is she hot? no not really, it's just that she has something going on. I think it's because she's tall maybe.
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That must be at least a little bit worth the bad weather. Are you going back to Arizona? That should get you warmed back up pdq.
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yeah I have 10 days off, well now I guess it's like 9 days now, so I'm spending a couple of days in Phoenix and I'm also going sking in Colorado. Ironic eh?
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How are you and Dirk doing this fine new year?
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At least you'll have some non-tropical duds to wear now. You won't look like a tourist...a frigid tourist! ;)
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Fred first became, um, aware of Uma when she wore the skin tight outfit in Batman movie. Very memorable. She has a great body.
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Fred hoping for stem cell breakthrough to help in that department. Hee Hee.
Dirk is same ol Dirk. On the run - or slither, from the Russian mob - they NEVER forget. -
Big football weekend , for you Hawaiian Organ Donor, Toadkillerdog and humble Fred!
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He thinks you are MIA.
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Have you ever considered liquid cement or gorilla glue? Might want to remove the jar. Could get heavy. Dirk should watch "Defiance". Might help him with hiding tips.
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Jan 09, 2009 8:26:36 PM CST
Fred not MIA, Fred Pit - hee hee. Airport humor
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Fred got re-orged at work, and had to relocate to a new cubicle, it has waaay less privacy. Much more difficult to chat during work hours, and Fred has been busy with family, friends, girlfriend, dog, amoeba, during evening. Tonight, we are expecting snow storm, so Fred is hunkered down at home
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I'll be at work when it arrives. Lucky you! Still, it won't be as cold as Germany (or probably Canada).
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Might get a tad uncomfortable in the nethers.
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Stem cell would sting too, I would imagine. Do the Russians have any good new technology that Dirk could swipe while he's running amuck?
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Jan 09, 2009 8:31:48 PM CST
No, it is not really that cold here, about 22 degrees
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
But no wind! That really makes a difference. Storm supposed to hit late tonight and last until late saturday. Fred was hoping for snow during Steeler game. Nothing like watching a football on TV during snow storm at night!
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What's up buddy?
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They are good at reverse engineering and weapons tech though. Dirk could probably get some great ground to air missiles, but unless you are Xiphos - or Chitty Chitty (and want to just blow stuff up), that is not very practical.
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but i'll probably miss saturdays games and judging by me lame ass travel arrangements so far probably Sundays games also.
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Jan 09, 2009 8:36:31 PM CST
Just hunkered down waiting for snow and football, Xiphos
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Fred anxiously optimistic about Steelers
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Perhaps the Navy guys read AICN and have come across some of your, er, more colorful critiques of them, and are getting even?
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Yeah the Steelers should be alright. The weather will be a big plus in the steel curtains favor.
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Thank you for thinking about humble Fred! Fred will try and sneak some time during daytime to get on and chat, but new cube makes it difficult.
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It could be, but the Navy could find better ways to mess with me I think. Or maybe not they're losers and none to bright.
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Fred knows almost everuone is writing them off, but as a certain man said, 'that is why they play the game'. You just can not say for sure what will happen unless you play the game.
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Stuck in winter hell, using up his vacation time. Things must improve around here pretty soon.
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I hope you have a great evening Mavra Chang. Stay warm. Fred has missed chatting with you and Therewolf.
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Jan 09, 2009 8:50:22 PM CST
Fred needs more popcorn to employ Ninja Powers
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Ninja skillz fading
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About an hour before the snow is due. It's not bad out now. It might be when I'm coming home. Xiphos, can I borrow your skis?
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Some metal groups I haven't heard before. Trying to expand my horizons.
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Last time the Cards played the Panthers they did a good job on them in the first half, went up by 21, on the road. Unfortunantly, the second half came around and the Cards lost thier shit bad. I think the weather might be the undoing of both teams so the score will probably end up like 9-6. Who has 9? Don't know, I'm not sold on either team.
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Jan 09, 2009 8:55:59 PM CST
Xiphos did you see gator chomp last night!
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Fred stayed up and watched. Good game. Tebow is great, but Fred not too sure if he can do that in NFL
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Every time one of the 'best of metal' shows are on VHS, he perks up and pays attention.
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Sure you can borrow the skis but they're downhill not cross country. Might be a bit hard to get around on those. I have some snow shoes though, they might be better.The vacation days i lost is only on the front side. I have to go over to teh Army Parachute facility in Yuma and get my jump pay back. Then I have some more time coming.
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http://tinyurl.com/9k5mdb
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Jan 09, 2009 9:01:49 PM CST
I've never been on skis at all. Better take the snowshoes!
by mavra chang
I'm listening to a group called Sonata Artica. I think I like them.
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I've been reading about though. tebow should probably stay another year maybe try and win another heisman and/or national Championship.I'm reading that Tebow is only a second round choice now and at tight end. I say stay in college and be king og Gainsville next year.
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We have two great ski resorts near the burgh.
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If he like to bang his head.Mavra, The Artica group is metal? Never heard of 'em but since you recommend them I need to give them a go.Well It's been nice kiddies but I'm going to grab some sleep for a few hours, good night.
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Corn stalks get in the way. haha
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Hope you weather the storm well. See you on the other side.
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The song I just heard is called "I Want Out". Appropriate much? I thought it was good. I'm new to the metal music scene, so take my choices with caution.
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He is big and strong and fast, but not a very accurate passer. He will not be able to run people over in NFL like he does in college. Tight end makes sense though, maybe a halfback as well. If the 'wild cat' offense gets copied, he could be effective for short periods of time. Sort of a Slash for new era. But Fred does not believe he can be a great starting QB in NFL. Fred has been wrong before and will be again though! Tebow is really a very nice person, and Fred wishes him all the best.
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Metal must be going to my head! Goodnight Xiphos. Safe journey!
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Jan 09, 2009 9:14:32 PM CST
Mavra Chang - is Indiana, Mountain Challenged?
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Skiing is great fun.
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Hope work is fun, or at least not boring.
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Just lots of trees. Those don't work well with skiing either. I'd better get a move one, skis or no skis. See you later! Goodnight.
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Good night Xiphos.
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is there a topic right now?
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It's gettin a little ridiculous how bad my timing is for these TBs. Damn.
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Was really good.
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I just drank a nice fresh glass of milk, and it is good!
oh, you're talking about that movie? never mind... -
Two ways to do that. Either play it so hammily it's hilariously, or play it with pathos. They tried the second route, and it failed because it was written by a sub-par writer.
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kermit the frog here with sesame street news
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i wish youse all well. a tip for punters: elope. i have been flat out like a lizard drinking working on 'offical party business' tonight a good mate came back from down south so i got a night off. i got myself too wasted to go to bed so i sat up for a bit drinking water (getting old) watched some movies lately, saw 'day the earth stood still' don't know what to make of it but on balace liked it.
catch you round, reddy to crash. night all -
I actually enjoyed it. Going back now to watch the last 20 minutes of the theatrical cut. Christopher Columbus had a nice cameo. Though I think a few more name actors would have helped.
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yo, bro. instead of getting married and all that BS, just live in sin. That way if you break up, you don't owe her half your shit.
Problem solved crisis averted. -
I thought he died in 1506. How does he look? What about the Nina, The Pinta and The Santa Maria? They have a cameo also?
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So the Air Force tells me that we will get out tomorrow. The day and half of backed up flight operations is working itself out and they will get us on the first thing smoking tomorrow. It's still fucking cold as hell. I'm going to support efforts on behalf of global warming from now on.
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I don't like Babylon A.D. Seriously after seeing the original thetrical cut ending of the movie. I can see why people hated it, it didn't make sense. There was a nonsense chase seen. It was so weird how fast I went from really enjoying the film to just flat out hating it and wanting to ask Netflixs for my money back.
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Gérard Depardieu even though he retired from film like a year or two ago.
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A smoking hot German chick blew me on a beach in Barcelona a few years back.I like Germany.
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The most redundant use of prosthetics in the history of cinema.
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I had a smoking hot Spanish chick from Bacelona blow me on a river bank on the Rhine. I like Spain.Actually, I like Germany usually. It's just this time around, because of the bitter fucking cold and the travel problems, I'm not to fond of the place at the moment.
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Germany.Home of great beer and sex fiends.Me likey.You just gotta get through the frosty exterior.
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Was actually dubbed. Hahahahaha.
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Thanks. I just had it stuffed.Just wanted to bring up 1000 posts in style.God bless Frank Drebin.
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Jan 10, 2009 2:35:03 PM CST
A Watchmen thread is beating Twitch
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Fuck Watchmen
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Jan 10, 2009 2:36:31 PM CST
And a fucking T4 score thread as well!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Fuck McG
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Jan 10, 2009 2:38:10 PM CST
I'm going to take it upon myself...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
to take this fucker to numero uno.
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Here's a fewFrank: It's true what they say: Cops and women don't mix. It's like eating a spoonful of Drano; sure, it'll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow inside.Mayor: Now Drebin, I don't want any trouble like you had on the South Side last year, that's my policy.
Frank: Well, when I see five weirdos, dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in full view of a hundred people, I shoot the bastards, that's *my* policy!
Mayor: That was a Shakespeare-In-The-Park production of 'Julius Caesar,' you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!Vincent Ludwig: Cuban?
Frank: No, Dutch-Irish. My father was from Wales.
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a plenty
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Genius.
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No, i took care of that at the press conference.
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Jan 10, 2009 2:42:17 PM CST
Mrs Nordberg, I think we can save your husbands arm...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Where would you like it sent?
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Jan 10, 2009 2:44:04 PM CST
Jane: I've heard police work is dangerous.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Frank: It is. That's why I carry a big gun.
Jane: Aren't you afraid it might go off accidentally?Frank: I used to have that problem.Jane: What did you do about it?Frank: I just think about baseball. -
Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.
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No, the worst.
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I might have stirred up some Nerd anger on the watchmen TB because I said thier silly boycott talk was D-U-M-B. The nerds will probably get on thier high horses and come after me now. Oh well, I guess I'll get hemeroids on my hemeroids worrying about that!
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Jan 10, 2009 2:47:30 PM CST
Well, when I see five weirdos...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in full view of a hundred people, I shoot the bastards, that's my policy!That was a Shakespeare-In-The-Park production of 'Julius Caesar,' you moron! You killed five actors!
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Ed: Doctors say that Nordberg has a 50/50 chance of living, though there's only a 10 percent chance of that.
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Jan 10, 2009 2:50:03 PM CST
Its amazing how much vitriol you can garner...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
when you pose the possibility that Watchmen isn't as infallible as its made out to be.
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Mrs. Nordberg: Oh, my poor Nordberg! He was such a good man, Frank. He never wanted to hurt anyone. Who would do such a thing?
Frank: It's hard to tell. A gang of thugs, a blackmailer, an angry husband, a gay lover -
Whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute until he's behind bars.Now, let's grab a bite to eat.
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Enrico Palazzo! Enrico Palazzo! Enrico Palazzo! Enrico Palazzo!
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No, thank you, I don't wear them.
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I'm all for bitching about something, AFTER, seeing it. Bitching about law suits and movie stills, not so much.I'll express my distaste with scripts and ideas but to get all bent out of shape over something that has not really been seen is sort of dopey in my opinion.
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Jan 10, 2009 2:56:24 PM CST
That's no way for a man to die.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
No... you're right, Ed. A parachute not opening... that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go!
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Protecting the Queen's safety is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans, we must be gracious and considerate hosts
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I'm the first guy to state an idea is stupid, but i won't begrudge them for making it. I'll just rip into it if its shit. I like all kinds of shit flicks if they're entertaining. But the Watchmen obsession is bordering on cult.
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Your husband is going to be alright. Don't you worry about anything. Just think positive. Never let a doubt enter your mind. But I wouldn't wait until the last minute to fill out those organ donor cards.
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As soon as Nordberg is better, he's welcome back at Police Squad.Unless he's a drooling vegetable. But I think that's only common sense.
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Well, let's just stick to dinner.
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Yeah, that's a good way to put it. The fucking obsession over teh squid is to say the least odd.The last few years I've enjoyed more "shit" films then I have the suppossedly well made studio movies. At least the shit movies had something fun going on.
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Entering without a search warrant, destroying property, arson, sexual assault with a concrete dildo...?
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Jan 10, 2009 3:07:42 PM CST
I'm reading Watchmen at the mo...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
And quite frankly, I'm underwhelmed. It's ok. But i don't understand the pedestal it's been put up on.
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Almost as interesting as the photographs I saw today.I was young! I needed the work!
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And you're looking at a full-court press.
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The pedestal is because it's old, you know from teh 80's.Actually, I think it was among the first of the funny book deconstruction(fuck I hate myself for using that word) to come out and make it big. butr i agree it's mearly good not great in my opinin.
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I've noticed things that I never knew were there before...Birds singingDew glistening on a newly formed leafStoplights.
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about 7 or 8 chapters in... but its not wowing me or redifining comics or any shit like that. And I'm still yet to encounter "the squid". And that will be shit, I'm sure.I just think this particular comic has been caught up in a mob mentality, and has been glorified.
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Watchmen still numero uno.
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Where in Germania are you at?
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It's underwhelming the first time - was for me, anyway. But I reread it a few times, and eventually you do see the pattern behind the lines.
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How many flicks you up to? I've watched one... Max Payne of all flicks. I need to redeem my 2009 quick smart.
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American Pie 2 is on TV. What a piece of shit this flick is.
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Jan 10, 2009 3:44:18 PM CST
Well that was easier than expected...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Twitch is number one. Booya.
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Can't wait for some slo-mo padded tits bouncing.
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Can't wait for Angels and Demons! The go-to villians for hack writers.
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Jan 10, 2009 3:56:02 PM CST
Jolie looks fucking hot in this...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
This is a dumbhouse flick, but i would propose Tomb Raider 2 as a dumbhouse classic.
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You're breaking my balls, Hans! You're breaking my balls!
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14. I watched 4 yesterday. Would try and watch 1 today, but I have no energy.
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15 then.
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I can review the Brosnan ones after two minutes,
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For anyone who thought the card game in CR lacked tension, watch this one. It's ridiculous - like one big jolly boys outing.
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PG-13 sex. Because it's not like a Secret Agent has to, ya know, ever be anything less than tender.
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Shoot Begbie in the head. Sure he's too drunk to notice, but when he sobers up... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOCLAW
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Ramstein AFB.
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D.Vader I'm from Arizona.
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Hee hee
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Long time no see, sir
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need a movie reccomendation for tonight guys
Benjamin Button
Valkyrie
Wrestler
or Gonzo
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Haven't seen any... but Benjamin Button seems the least suicidal.
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might just get minged and watch Gonzo, and wish I led a life as interesting as Hunter S Thompson
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I know it goes against the majority, but I thought the two main characters were selfish and obnoxious, which didn't endear them to me. If I don't like the characters, I can't enjoy the film.
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Anybody here ever read Warren Ellis' comic Transmetropolitan?It's got to be one of the coolest, funniest books I have ever seen. The main character is this Gonzo journalist (and an homage to Hunter S. Thompson) in the future with all these corrupt governments and aliens and drugs and robots. It's ridiculous, and hilarious, and one of the smartest pieces of homage I have ever seen. The entire series is about ten trade paperbacks long, but any one story is worth it. They're all great.
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i was gonna post a review on here, but then I decided I didn't care that much. I thought the lead was too much of a shallow, icy jackass. I liked some of the other characters he met (like the captain and the woman who swam that channel) but the romance just wasn't there for me. I'm glad someone else agrees. It was just okay. Like a six or seven out of ten.
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If I were you, I would go with either Gonzo or the Wrestler.
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I was expecting a few flames over that one, since there seems to be such a public lovefest for it. Also, was it just me or did the style seem somewhat reminiscent of "Big Fish"? I actually liked "Big Fish" though.
-
Someone submitted a very well-written piece of Star Wars fan fiction to the mymavra site. If AnakinsRant is out here anywhere reading this, thanks! Nice work.
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Wasn't meaning to leave that out. Zed is da bomb.
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www.mymavra.com
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towards a more fantasy or tall-tale style. Button seemed a lot more grounded in reality, except for the whole him aging in reverse thing. I got the point of the movie, but the story just suffered a lot from the romance, which is a shame because with a more likable love interest, it could have done much better. I still don't really understand why he liked her. they seemed to just drift in and out of each other's lives, with no chemistry at all. Big Fish was much better, but it had a whole other feel to it.
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Heard to many mediocre things about Button too and just didn't fancy the others, glad I did, great movie/docu some brilliant quotes
Hunters Landlord "He was my friend, my neighbour, the man who never paid his rent, broke up my marriage and got my children to smoke dope"
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dammit!
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so I havent got anything to talk about, since I just stayed quiet and lazy today.
-
if that Star Wars fan fic was from good ol' Dickblood? hahaha
-
A 33-13 victory, at home, over the much overhyped Carolina Panthers is what the kids like to call a BEAT DOWN! So what is it that I'm suppossed to be sorry about?
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I would not worry about the SG TB. They really don't have staying power anymore.
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FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! None of you yapping losers gave the Cards a chance. Feel stupid now you bunch of asshats? How does that giant heaping plate of crow taste?
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The Sports media, especially The Fox pregame show and ESPN, and not anybody here that likes sports.Upon further review I thought I should clear that up in case anybody thought I was talking about them.
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Writing outlines for scripts can be tiring.
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Didn't really like it. I guess I just don't really like Hunter.
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Past two weeks. This show is awesome. It doesn't make up for 1-3 but its pretty good. Even Jar Jar is tolerable in it, but then again I never really disliked Jar Jar.
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Jan 11, 2009 5:33:17 AM CST
I found this post on Rotten tomatoes about Danny Boyles fav fil
by series7
Sunshine, Requiem for a Dream and the latest movie Slumdog? I like Danny Boyle Idiot.
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Is Twitter? And why does every web site have a thing that says, FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER! Seriously as much as I like the internet, its all getting a little much.
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Ben Mancowitz said Babylon A.D. was one of the worst films. I guess he didn't see the directors cut. Even in the directors cut it ends with a little coy joke from xXx and then it says 'For my daughters' in the corner of the screen. I guess he didn't want that theatrical filth to be dedicated to his daughters. I think this is the first time I've ever been really effected by the difference between the directors and original cut. I need to see Kingdom of Heaven, but I'm not a big Scott fan and like all of his films have directors cuts.
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Like I really liked the directors cut of it. It was a stupid fun sci-fi action movie. Granted it was a lot like COM, but at least Vin kicked some ass while Clive just kept showing me that he is delivering on the bad ass promise that he made with the Driver series.
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he is NOT delivering.
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Watching its coverage on G4 right now and realizing how poor I am and how far behind I am on everything. Fuck I don't want to be that old man when I get older.
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Anyone know anything about this movie? Looks cool, its old.
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Good movie. Do you have it or were you going to rent it? It is online at http://tinyurl.com/6tqs5a.
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Oddly, I'm stoked. Bogart is a legend!
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That would be hilarious! I have no clue who wrote that, but it was very good. Brilliant idea for any creative types...how about fanfic ABOUT Danny, since he's the notorious one amongst us? Any takers? Maybe Danny will write one about himself.
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The amount of method writing one would have to do to get inside Danny's mind would be excruciating.
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Great film, of course. Have you seen it before? My fave Bogart movies are "The Maltese Falcon","Sabrina", and "The African Queen". Funny how he was always pretty much the same character, just in different settings. Still fantastic in all.
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But it gets universal raves for the writing, which is cool.
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Add any names of females he considers hot and add gravy. Instant story.
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She was as great as Bogey. I still like "Gaslight" best of her films, though.
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Gotta love that.
-
Who knows how to do the Bristol Stomp?
-
Cool thanks for the link. No I just came across the movie on IMDB it doesn't seem available to rent on the DVDs yet.
-
Enjoying the shit out of Death Race right now? I think its Paul's best work.
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Heard it was kind of like "Escape From New York" on wheels. That anywhere close to accurate? I'd be interested in that.
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I think not. If the site has gone to Hell, at least we have the good seat section.
-
Or is Jason Statham just kind of a dumb guy, because they had to give him the name of Frank for this driving movie, since that was his name in Transporter.
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Is pretty awesome. I don't know who these people were complaining about not wanting a remake of the original. I mean Roger Cormen co produced this. Its almost like getting mad that they made a Little Shop of Horrors remake.
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Technology is evil. I use it, but I accept my evil./
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RHPS remake, yes. I haven't seen either Death Race, so I have no comparison. Corman is very cool. I will check them out. Thanks!
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Of said Hell. We might even get Fred to bring popcorn. We will make Hell cool (which would go without saying if this is the frozen over version).
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Evil rocks. Wear it with pride.
-
Or was, damn England.
-
Just a light dusting rather than the 4-8 inches predicted. It's very icy. Enough for me. My evil needs sleep/recharging. See you all later. Stay in with good movies and stay warm.
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But I'm always proud of the fact that all of us and Mr. Twitch are some of the few good things going on around here.
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That is why they play the game!
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Fred can not stick around long today, but wanted to say hi.
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Fuck this. Swayze kicked fucking ass.
-
He is just in the hospital for pneumonia. Sheeesh. Sorry Patrick.
-
Miss you around here. Busy with work?
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Jan 11, 2009 12:21:37 PM CST
Fred was re-orged - Not as much fun as it sounds
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Now, Freds cube has little privacy, makes it very difficult to goof off at work. Fred greatly misses coming here during daytime.
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Promotion time - I rant on another crappy comic-book here: http://tinyurl.com/8qud9z
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Sucks that his health is failing. He made Ghost, Roadhouse, Point Break, Donnie Darko AND Dirty Dancing. You may not like them, but those films are iconic. Some of todays actors WISH they were that recognisable.
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Running Man, The Condemned, Death Race.
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And nobody mentioned The Treasure of Sierra Madre! Somebody said something about Bograt playing the same guy, and for the first half of the movie he does just that. But then he starts getting all greedy with the gold they find and starts going crazy, and it's unlike anything I've seen Bogart do before. Casablanca is some great writing, and with great performances from the whole cast, but if you wanna see Bogart really tearing up the scene, you have got to check out The Treasure of Sierra Madre.
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For picking againts the Cards. They domintaed. Damn, but my G-Men came up small against the Eagles. I obviously have no prognostication abilities. I just do not fucking get why the decided to run against the Eagles down by 9 points. What the fuck were they trying to prove? So they picked up a few yards, and ran down the clock in the process, then got stuffed repeatedly on fourth and short. Fuck! Anyway, I really am glad for the Ctds and their very, very long suffering fans. Larry Fitzgerald is the most awesome receiver in the game today.
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Jan 11, 2009 6:46:34 PM CST
Fred very happy with Steelers beatdown of Chargers
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Ravens will be tough to beat three times in one year. Will be rock em sock em game. Toadkillerdog, Fred sorry about your Giants. Xiphos, like Fred said, that is why they play the game!
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Jan 11, 2009 6:47:48 PM CST
Fred also sorry for Hawaiian Organ Donors Panthers
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Not a good birthday for Delhomme.
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But I would have listed it as 4th in my fave Bogart films. Meant no dissing of that, because it is classic. Sorry, but must be the chick thing that makes me prefer "Sabrina" just slightly. What can I say? :)
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I actually haven't seen that one so I'll have to check it out.
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Is the gayest TB I think I've seen on AICN since the last Golden globes TB. It's fabu!
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It's spreading. Get a dose.
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Spiderman 3 tonight. I know I'm behind the times a bit. I have to say, it's not a very good movie. In fact it's bordering on M. Night Shamalan territory of suck.
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Xiphos wants to congradulate Freds favorite football team, the Pittsburgh Steelers, in thier crushing victory over the San Diego Norv Turners.Xiphos would like Fred to note that the Steelers were the only home team to survive this round of the playoffs. Good job Freds Steelers.
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Has anyone seen this? Is it worth tracking down?
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just thought I'd ask before I go to bed... Are you over the Gilmore Girls whitdrawals yet?
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No-one can ever get over the Gilmore Girls.
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Hope everybody had a good weekend It has been -12 here recently which is far too cold for my blood.
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This is the one Comic book thing I know for an absolute fact: Peter Parker's parents were spies and were killed by The Red Skull
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and my christ what a shitty weekend it was: American Pie 2 (which I enjoyed), Mission Impossible 2, Beethoven's 4th (I hate myself), All the boys love Mandy lane, Empire Strikes back.
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Kind of sucks. Sorry- if anyone has been raving about it, then they can fuck off. It's a shame, because the opening is fucking superb. However, as soon as the cannon fodder teenagers are introduced it fucking plummets. And I spotted the "twist" early- it's a fucking obvious lazy assed hack horror twist. 4/10 and I'm being nice- most of that is down to the soundtrack.
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inflicted both Mandy Lane and MI2 on me I'm getting Hard Rock ZOmbies.
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can I post 350 times on my tod to overtake The Golden Globes?
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conversation 100,000,000,000. It's good but overrated.
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Fuck's sake. What's wrong with people? as if any of you would kick her out of bed.
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but he has fucking shit taste in movies- Titanic is a "damned good movie" apparently. I think he saw a different film to the insipid load of toss I saw, and Altmann named it "worst movie ever to win an Oscar".
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and I may have to hand in My Geek Card, but Annie Hall is a better movie than Star Wars. Pennsy, sick pervert that he is, keeps bleating on about "most popular". Forgetting that most popular does not equal best.
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I'm struggling on. Thanks for asking, mate.I went to the doctor to see if there was a patch or some gum that would help relieve my craving for charming and witty blue-eyed brunettes who live in a small town, but he told me to fuck off. Apparently there are people with real illnesses in the world or somesuch.
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It's hard to choose (since they're such different films), but I also reckon Annie Hall is better than Star Wars.
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Bowfinger (hilarious), Seabiscuit (Oscar bait, but not bad for a film about a horse), Thank You For Smoking (very good), Shoot 'Em Up (may prove to be the worst film I see in 2009), Eastern Promises (very good), Small Time Crooks (not one of Woody's better ones), Sicko (very interesting), Street Kings (not bad, but could have made the jump to good with a better lead actor).It was hard work. By Sunday afternoon I was a bit sick of watching films, so I frittered away a few hours shooting stuff on the X-Box instead.Total for 2009 so far: 13.
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Sorry to hear about that, Jarv. MI2 alone is already as bad as two bad films, so to add Beethoven's 4th on top can't be good.Still, I saw Shoot 'Em Up, which was at least as bad as four bad films. Fucking awful.
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the first 2/3 of it weren't that bad. It's all the slow mo birds and jousting motorbikes are what ruin it.
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sucked a fat one.
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the batteries failed on the remote and I couldn't change the fucking channel. It was most upsetting.
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The argument is that Annie Hall is arguably one of the finest comedies ever made, whereas Star Wars, while an enjoyable romp, is badly scripted, badly acted etc. It's not a fair comparison
-
I quite liked it, but I'm biased to anything that has Monica Belucci as a lactating hooker. As a film? poor.
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And they both do what they set out to do very, very well, so how do you decide which is best?I suppose it comes down to taste in the end, and my taste leans more toward Woody than George.Of course, it helps that Woody never smeared poop all over Annie Hall by making a god-awful prequel. That was a good move on Woody's part.
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That's also why I've seen Fantastic Four so many times. Because the batteries in the remote ran out.Honest.
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Max Payne.I have watched Band of Brothers, started the new season of 24, and watched the first episode of The Wire though.
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Pull your finger out!
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Read the comic. Life remains unchanged.And I'm completely baffled by Squidgate. I was expecting a major plot point which hinged on a squid. What I got is a major plot point that hinged on a device that is interchangable with any other inanimate object. Seriously, it could've been a pineapple that was sent through, and earth would've just thought that interdimensions must have really big fruit.I'm on Snyders side, that shit needed to be changed. It would be fucking laughable in the film.
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then you'd be very hard pressed to argue for Star Wars. If you're talking entertainment, then Star Wars would be my pick.
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that is my exact reaction to Watchmen. I'm with snyder as well, the squid is fucking stupid and I don't want to watch that prick give a 20 minute speech explaing the fucker. Good call. Au revoir calamari.
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There are not enough good films on the telly to keep the numbers up, and I can't afford to keep going up Blockbusters all the time.I'm actually considering watching The Saint tonight, just so I can have at least one film for today. The Saint!
-
and looking at Lovefilm has just reminded me. I watched Conan The Destroyer when it was on telly. That takes me to 20. What a load of shit that was.
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The kids I send off to school belong to my sister and brother-in-law. This is my final week (hoorah!) as my sister will soon be returning to night shift work. I actually have influenced them somewhat towards Changian philosophies, at least in the case of the boys. They are definite fans of Kurt Russell, The Chin, and The Stache. I even obliged the request of the youngest to create a "Tremors" cake for his last birthday and have replaced the middle boy's dvd of "Army of Darkness" 3 times (his mother tries to thwart us by hiding it from him). I have not yet been able to guide my niece onto the proper path. She shows a disturbing fascination for "High School Musical" and the Jonas Brothers, but she is only 7, so it may not be too late.
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Loved, loved, loved your "Captain America" review! You have seriously mad writing skills, man.
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That's some fine work.
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is it shaped like a graboid? That's too awesome for words. Pity my birthday isn't until later this year. Have you shown them the AoD "Hail to The King" ending? And how old are they?
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A horrible performance. Now, while I was never a big Carolina fan and thought they were overrated, but still. Fuck.
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Eli Manny blows. Not as bad as Carolina's Jake though. Damn.
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Jan 12, 2009 6:36:30 AM CST
that is one of the most awesomeness things I've heard
by just pillow talk
A Tremors cake. Genius.
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Mongol - solid movie, I'd give it 3 stars. I really liked the dude who played Mongol. Navy Seals - While Jarv hates this, I still enjoyed it. The cheesy scenes like the golf cart scene, showing how they were all 'tight' so that when they lose President Palmer, it hurts that much more! The bad dialog, bad performance by Mikey Biehn. Primer - yeah, I would have to watch them again, which I probably wouldn't. The talking over each other drove me crazy. I thought it was okay. And on tv, Empire and Jedi.
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Superbowl. A Ravens-whomever...ugh!
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but I've got a sneaking feeling that part 2 (if they do it) will be better.
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It was for his 11th birthday The other boys are 16 and 13). I shaped it to look like a graboid emerging from the ground. I had a plastic policman on a motorcycle in it's mouth. Totally grossed out all of the adults at the party as I made the inside of the cake a red velvet lava cake (it oozed red when cut). My nephew loved it. They have seen both endings to AoD. They are pretty well-versed in all of the Evil Dead movies. My niece even liked Ash before she was tainted by Zack Efron.
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The rest of the trilogy will be the "meat" so to speak. They had to get out of the way his earlier life, before he became Khaaaaaaaaaaan!
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has young recruits in the wings.I think next year you should make a Book of the Dead cake Mavra.
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I want one. That is the shiznit.
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The other 2 are fair enough for young 'uns but I don't know about the first one.
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What's most crazy about all of this is that the Cardinals will have a HOME NFC championship game.WTF?
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I didn't realize Scriptgirl is ahead of us. That's not right.
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week and a half. Got several inches of snow/ice yesterday. Sweet.
-
Gotta love old buildings and their oh-so-reliable heating/cooling systems.
-
They'll be shipping that bad boy today. I believe I've bought the necessary time to watch that masterpiece and the other recommendations DocP shared with us with the Starter Wife season one crap. Wa-hoo!
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is a short wait! Fuck!
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I read the TB, and the Transformers one, to see Danny in a pugnacious mood with DocP and MNG. Very bizarre.
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and Xi, I like the name you've given the redhead FBI agent: Chesty Freckles.
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Harry, stop posting that shit.
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are tonight. It seems like they are actually setting things up.What happened to you Tony?Well, my wicked hot bitch got blown up.
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The kids do watch horror movies, but so did their mother and I when we were kids. I turned out fine. :) A Book of the Dead cake would be pretty fantastic (and easier to shape than a graboid). His birthday is next month, so I may suggest that. I made the Tremors cake before I even knew about the CoC. Must've been fate. Time to grab some Zzzs. Have a great day!
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It seems MNG and Danny won't be doing secret Santa next Christmas.
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Yes indeed, that was a wretched game for Panthers fans. I know a lot of people are saying the team sucks but let's face it, that loss came on the shoulders of the coaching staff and Delhomme. Considering Jake turned the ball over six times, I think the defense did an admirable job of holding the Cards to only 33 points. And the offense was never given a chance to handle the ball.But I have to say, I'm glad it happened. People have been in love with Delhomme and John Fox for too long and that disgraceful performance should be the last for either of them for Carolina. If that debacle is what is takes for the team to realize they need a better QB and coach, then so be it. It was worth it.Congrats Xiphos, and Fred. Your boys played the way teams should in the playoffs. I'm going to have to back the Cards going forward as it would be sweet to see those long suffering fans finally able to celebrate.I spent way too much time this weekend doing the stupid video game thing so I only had time for one movie. Vicky Christina Barcelona entertained me greatly. One of Woody's best in a while.Unfortunately I've had explicit fantasies about a four way with Penelope, Scarlett and the other chick all weekend.Last I heard part 2 of Mongol is in production. And I agree, I think the trilogy will only get better.For all it's brainiac techno-babble, Primer was a steaming turd. Who uses a time machine to play the stock market? Powerball lottery numbers makes much more sense. Every copy of that movie should be sent back in time to before the universe was even born.
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Jan 12, 2009 7:35:21 AM CST
The Stache communicates to us all in mysterious ways
by just pillow talk
So it comes as no suprise that you made a graboid cake.
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Jan 12, 2009 7:37:31 AM CST
I hear Brett Farve maybe available for ya Hawaiian..
by just pillow talk
That was one of the worst performances by a QB in the playoffs I've ever seen, if not THE worst.
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our papers seem to think so.
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Isn't he good? Anyway, my misreable football team only managed to draw which does us no good whatsoever for the playoffs.
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the whole lot of them had an average age of 17. That's no good for our tier- too young. We may not be top flight, but we're aspiring to be, and no top filght side has so little experience. Mind you, we're also on the edge of receivership.
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and they weren't good this year, up until the playoffs. Now they are playing some pretty good ball, especially their defense which is quite the surprise.
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His time has passed. Time to retire. For good. And stay retired.
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It sounds like he has sporting vanity syndrome and will keep trying forever.
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Jan 12, 2009 7:55:39 AM CST
I don't know what Carolina is going to do about a QB
by hawaiian organ donor
I haven't heard about any being on the market and we gave up our first round draft pick to get our D-Line. That said, a toaster would probably drop the ball less and have better accuracy than Delhomme so I'll take whoever I can. And the guy is about as stable as an elephant on a surfboard but if the Titans decide to release Vince Young, I'll take him over Jake any day. That was without a doubt the worst performance by a QB I have ever seen. I know it's happened, but I personally have never seen a QB turn over the ball six times.
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Probably land a better QB in the second round than trying to get Vince.
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Is Kurt Russell in the Cardinals?Does Bruce Campbell play for the Jets?Will Warwick Davis ever become quarterback for the Iowa Fiddlesticks?Fuck no, fuck no, and... probably not, but that would be hilarious.Where have all the film geeks gone?
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You lost me with and Maggie Gylenhall IS attractive. I don't know what you've been smoking, or how ugly the girls are in the part of England you live in. But sir, in America if you said that you would have been beaten and dragged behind the back of a true beauty the Ford F-150. Also when you said that Shoot'em Up Was good? I never took you for a crack addict.
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Except if you'd been stupid enough to inflict Beethoven 3 and 4, Dr Dolittle 3 and MI2 on yourself then you'd be depressed about movies too.
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I realise this is not an American football-related question, but maybe one of you kind people could imagine the pineapple in the title is a football (on account of the similar shape) and offer up an opinion.Also, imagine that humorous chubby fellow is a running receiver or whatever those douchebags are called.Thanks.
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anyway. You can never argue about 2 things: what makes someone laugh. Shoot Em Up is shit, no doubt, but I perversely enjoyed it. THe fact I was completely arseholed may have something to do with it, and I haven't yet had the nerve to watch it sober.
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17. Take that, Mister Scientist!
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My problem is they set out to make something ridiculous. So it wasn't fun. But with Gone In 60 Seconds, I do not believe for a second that they weren't taking it seriously.
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Sacked as in fired, not sacked as in tackled during my duties as a quarterback.I was having a nostalgic look at my Amazon page, and I was shocked and slightly appalled to see I had posted over 200 reviews during 2007, and I know full well I wrote them all at work. It's a wonder I ever did anything at that place, what with all the reviews and the talking about crap on AICN.. Thank fuck I don't work there anymore.At least I am the 231st most popular reviewer on Amazon. In your face, #232 and below!
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Thanks for the props. Sadly, I think I
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... write best when angry. And that made me angry. Also - I'm still mulling over Herb's e-mail.
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You can never argue about 2 things: what makes someone laugh and what gets them hard.
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That's not bad for me, considering I have a job and stuff.
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I'm off to have an argument about why we don't use the internet properly for marketing purposes, where once again my wealth of experience will be ignored by a know it all fuckbag with the IQ of a tapeworm.
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Need. New. Job.
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Very true, sir. Comedy and sex, interesting bedfellows.
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You can never catch me up, I watch films as part of my degree.
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is when Cage puts on his motivational music and you expect it to be something pumping and it's that Turn on, Tune in, Drop Out garbage and he stands there shaking his hands like he's got parkinsons. Oh deary, deary me.
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I watched Demons at the weekend again and can now say with authority that it's fucking dreadful and makes Dr. Who look like Alien
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That bit is hilarious.
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At least they had the decency to tell me before I went upstairs. Thank the lord.
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The "gobbledeegoodk" is the playoffs right now, and four of the CoC had teams that were playing. Surely you can forgive all this football talk for one measly day? Cunt.
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with 12 to reach my goal of 200. Tonight is shot as 24 is on again with another two hours.
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Sir, I don't know whether to salute you or be concerned. Ah Hell, I'll do both.
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It's all in good humour.
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Americans, Mr Z. Language is hard for them, so you have to cut them some slack.
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I should have put one of those emoti-thingys on that last, so jpt knows I'm only playing.I feel uncomfortable using those emoti-thingys, but they are useful sometimes.
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I'm averaging 10 per week and have serious holidays and insomnia
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I'll probably watch a one a day, then watch four on Friday or something stupid.
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sometimes hard for the English to grasp. Poor scotsman, so misunderstood by you folk.
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I'll be pleased if I can make 365. That seems like a good number to aim for, but it'll still be hard.Apart from time constraints, I'm not sure I could come up with 365 films I WANT to watch in a year, and if I start watching any old crap to make up the numbers, I'll end up giving up films altogether.Although that could be a good thing. I really should read more.
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Anyone know where I can get copies of the original Fantastic Four and Captain America flicks?
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is impossible. I would think the most one can view during that time of staying up 11 days in a row is between 132 - 180 movies.
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I'll watch 4 or 5 that I actually want to see and then whatever old bollocks is on in the weeknights, and If I have serious insomnia so I'll watch whatever is on late at night.
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Perhaps if you have one on the laptop, and one on the TV at the same time.
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Impossible for me. And the more I think about it, the more I probably need to load up the first half of the year with movies. Once the second little pillow arrives, movie watching will be taking a hit me thinks.
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Because if it's a horrendous movie, your attention must be on the turd, even if it burns your eyeballs out.
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Jan 12, 2009 9:38:12 AM CST
I fucking new the Raiders would take it!! L.A. BABY!!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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If you have a look, you might find another copy.I'd send you mine, but it got thrown out during the great pre-moving-house purge of last year.It's pretty funny, though. Worth a watch if you can find a cheap copy. Dr Doom's wiggling fingers are the highlight.
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Sleepless nights= lots of movie watching.
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...you fucking retard.
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Jan 12, 2009 9:40:32 AM CST
the original Captain America was bad fucking ass......
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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but I think 500 is pretty ambitious. I love movies, but I don't think I could schedule it out. When there are other things to do, I do other things. If my insomnia ever dissipates, I'm done.
Over the weekend I saw Vicky Christina Barcelona, Tokyo Gore Police, Ip Man and The Unborn.
And as a resident of Baltimore, I was quite pleased to see the Ravens will be going up against the Stealers.
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Wow. It looks terrible.
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how was Mandy Lane?
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so you don't wake the little 'un
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Jan 12, 2009 9:45:48 AM CST
I saw Gran Turino. Didn't expect it to be so quirky.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
I thought it was gonna be dead serious. The audience laughed more than they do at a full on comedy. Its sorta weird to hear an entire audience roaring when an old man asks "YOU GOT ANY MORE OF THAT GOOK FOOD?" For a second there I thought I was watching a John McCain Biopic.
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The opening was magnificent. Then it sort of slid into the crapper. They made 3 fundamental mistakes: 1)The killer was revealed far too early. 2)I didn't love Mandy Lane, ergo I wanted her to die 3)The twist ending was lame and obvious.
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it's putting me off movies.
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you are right. Very black humor in places. I was still in shock from "We used to stack swamp rats like you four-high back in Korea!"
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you seem to have felt the same way I did about it. Bleh.
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Jan 12, 2009 9:54:36 AM CST
I really liked how he didn't villanize the sons......
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....he could have easily gone that way to really push the idea that he has no one. It seems a little tricky to convince the audience that the guy is all alone and needs a friend when he has a caring son that calls and checks up on him. But it worked. The idea that just because your kids are decent people, it doesn't mean you really know them necessarily.
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it's not so much scheduling it out- if I manage it, it'll be because I haven't alterered my patterns at all. Some movies get regular spins, but 4-500 different films should not be unrealistic.
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All that's required for 500 in a year is 1 film per day and an additional 2.6 films per weekend. That's only 1 film per school night and 4.6 films each weekend, which sounds pretty doable when you put it like that.Of course, if you start dropping behind, it'll be a bitch to catch up.
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Damn you, Mr Z!
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the other problem, was that ALL the characters were unlikable. The only genuine moment of emotion was when the stoner got off with the nasty bitch. But even that was only done for cheap manipulation.
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While he didnt "completely" villianize the sons, he certainly captured them as somewhat the awkward, stereotypical estranged kids. They didnt come off as villains, but they definitely felt like the stereotypical kids. I kept thinking we would get a better picture of them, like that moment that lingers after the phonecall and you see the son dealing with the awkwardness between he and his father.
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For instance, for me, 24 was on last night and will be on tonight. That two hours each night. Plus I put my daughter to bed, so that ties me up till 8 or 8:30. Though I usually will throw in a movie at 10, so I guess what I just said are not viable excuses.
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I really liked the way he handled it. It felt very real. And I don't think they were typical estranged character types. In most films they would nudge it into the asshole direction a bit more with the kids, like we would find out they are trying to get him to leave them the house or something. The only selfish sort of thing we saw was the granddaughter wanting the car, but thats pretty normal. They felt like ordinary people, and I liked that.
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I don't often watch films during the week. By the time I've been to work and then the gym (and squeezed the odd bit of social activity), all I have time for in the evenings is an hour or two of telly, and I like to watch telly then, not films.I could try doing it all at the weekend, but that's 9.6 films per weekend, and it was hard enough watching 8, especially when one of them was Shoot 'Em Up.
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If they'd played it as a straight, albeit predictable horror, I think I'd be talking about it more fondly. The Shayalaman twist pissed me off: it totaly rewrote the first half of the movie- and not in a good way, it was pretty fucking obvious that it was coming, and it was horribly executed.
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With Big turd polluting the airwaves, I find it easy to watch one a night. And ITV have that "action movie at 10ish" thing going. After Friday night's drunkening, I always tend to put one on when I get home, so that's covered as well. Mostly, I watch so many because of insomnia- when I'm sleeping properly the rate will drop off.
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Jan 12, 2009 10:29:10 AM CST
yeah..there are times when I just want to flip through
by just pillow talk
the channels, and not devote myself to a movie. And I get around the whole gym thing by going during lunchtime.
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when I will be sitting on my ass, either watching movies or playing some sily game and generally doing nothing.
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Very glad to have gotten rid of that, but that's another strike against me and this 365-500 thing - I usually get a decent night's sleep.
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that it's totally different for me- anyway, I get home at about 5.05 and Mrs. Jarv doesn't get in till roughly 7 so a lot of the time I watch one then. Have you not seen the state of telly at that time? it's fucking dire.
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Makes me want to go find a hatchet.
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http://tinyurl.com/8zmye9
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I imagine that would make a significant dent into my movie watching schedule. And if I actually still read a few books like I used to, forget it.
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than when I was a kid. It's fucking painful to watch. Even the cartoons suck, we had shit like Thundercats and He-Man and they have fucking Yu-gi-oh or pokemon. Shit, I forgot Krull yesterday afternoon. How could I forget Krull. 21, huzzah.
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But I tend to keep a box set handy in case there's nothing on.I might even make a start on season 4 of The Wire tonight. There's a gaping hole in my 'just got home from the gym and now I want to veg out' hour, which used to be filled by you know what.
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I've been wanting to watch Krull again like something fierce. I keep meaning to bump it up on the queue, but Doc's recommendations will get first crack.After that, Krull!
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Just doesn't seem right.
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and I can't believe I'm about to say this- if you get a serious amount of holiday time (I had something like 12 Weeks last year), you get bored. It kind of saps you of the will to do anything more arduous than change the DVD. I even watched whatever drivel was on channel 5 (I remember some painful one with David Spade and some French chick) because I was that demotivated.
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And now there's complete shit for cartoons. Sad, really.Though I guess kids have had Batman, which I guess is supposed to be good.
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is just brilliant, but the end sort of sucks. When he's using his magic shuriken thingy to fight the giant demon ape it's 7 shades of awesome, but after he loses it and they have the dialogue about how the demon cannot defeat "them" and he uses her magic fire it's a bit poo.
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is quite good. Mrs Jarv hated Krull- she thought it was "fucking lame, even by the standards of this shit"
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...and an hour of GG fits in perfectly with that particular state of mind.I'm not sure how The Wire will work in GG's old timeslot. It's a great show, but not especially mellow.
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Hate the gym. It bores me. Luckily I'm a skinny bastard with a rapid metabolism so I don't have to.
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...it is indeed awesome. That main dude is the baddest redhead motherfucker on the planet after David Caruso.
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But it doesn't matter because of what preceded it. All this Krull talk has me rethinking my queue.
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Gets me the fuck out of the office and I feel better when I get back for the afternoon.
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It's just good. I think Mrs. Jarv was being unreasonable. Possibly suikng after Mandy Lane let her down.
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It's completely pointless, but I like how angry some of the Star Wars fans get. Funny buggers.
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To quote our English friends, "I'm on holiday".So who's on the Big red band wagon now? Everybody getting behind the lowly AZ Cardinals now?I just want to rub it in to everbody living in the ice age areas(like Germania, where I was over the weekend)I'm sitting on my porch this morning, in a T shirt and sweat pants, eating frsh fruit from my citrus trees. Have fun in the fucking cold.24 was pretty darn good good, it might possibly be back. JPT, Chesty Freckles is quite the piece. Surprisingly enough she's from a soap opera.Could somebody explain this problem I had with The Dark Knight? Why was Bruce Wayne so hot and bothered to date his Grand Mother?
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....with the kid and The Seer. Very cool atmosphere. And the spider lady scene is also very good.
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Annie Hall is a legitimately good film, Star Wars is just fast-paced enough so that no-one cares how inept it can get. Not that Star Wars is bad, but even back then Ford was straining to make the dialogue sound halfway decent.
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hah! I'll accept that I'm the only person in the world that finds Maggie G attractive.
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1991, starring Richard Belzer and scored by Danny Elfman. This is the 'holy grail' of potentially awful comic-book films, and one day I will rant on it.
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She just has very Bad posture.
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you know it.
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Annie and Star Wars don't fit together at all, but people argue over them because of the Oscar.I'll never understand why people get so angry about that stuff. Who cares who won an Oscar?
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Maggie G is attractive, just not in TDK. She's fugly, and I blame Nolan and his make-up/costume department.
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He can turn his sideways.
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Jan 12, 2009 11:03:21 AM CST
Primer sucked....and Thank You For Smoking is good?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Fuck. I knew it should never read earlier posts I'm not involved in. It just makes me sad.
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I'm tired. Headed back to Uni today, coming off a week in which I
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Done too much writing and watched too many JC flicks.
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You fools are ruining Rickey's preconceptions! Everyone's a portly landmonster at AICN, yes?
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Has an odd attractivness to her but not in TDK. Snikes she looked bad, like really bad.Now in Secratery she looked good. Of course that had more to do with the full frontal and the movie itself but she looked good.
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...she already looks sorta old ladyish, so why the fuck would you put her in that hideous lace evening dress from 1942 at the party at Bruce's penthouse. What the fuck were they thinking? Maybe this proves Nolan has a serious fantasy that involves fucking his Grandmother.
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The only exercise I get is sex, and lifting my arm to light a cigarette.
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Sorry to blow your preconcieved notions out of the water.Of course for the majority of the TBers you would be correct sir.
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That's a stereotype, you're pushing a stereotype along. Dat's wrong!
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Oh yeah, I loves me some Krull. Watched it again recently. It's got some fantastic behind the scenes stuff and you see a time when they actually built huge sets. And it has multiple commentaries that are also awesome. All in all I think it's aged well for an early 80s fantasy film.I'm on the Cardinals bandwagon Xi. Nice to see a fresh face in the Super Bowl, assuming they can get past the Eagles.Because of Art Model, Baltimore can go suck it and nothing personally against the Steelers but they won it recently so nuts to them as well.Jonah, no comments on the movies you watched? Leave us high and dry?I enjoyed Gran Torino. The acting aside, I thought the slow burn of Eastwood bonding with his neighbors was very well done. And the ending threw me for a loop and in a good way so it gets added props for that.
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Maggie's only hot in that movie because of James Spader's presence. Any movie starring him is by default, an EROTIC THRILLER of some sort and everyone brings their A-game.
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Jan 12, 2009 11:15:37 AM CST
I liked the naturalistic acting in Turino....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...the girl was a little distracting for her first few scenes, but she got much better. It just felt like these people are really a family and they really live in that house. I'll take casting inexperienced unknowns over casting Harold from Harold and Kumar as one of the Asian gangsters. It was actually a delight to see a major Hollywood film populated with unknowns.
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I exercise but that's only to work off last night's beers. I still have 18 years worth of beers built up in my gut and they don't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon.
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Rickey's a gym rat too. Three miles on the treadmill followed by some weights and core strengthening does fucking wonders for Rickey's ability to get a good night's sleep. Also, lets not forget the #1 reason to join a gym: hot chicks in spandex.
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The more I want to sing show tunes and wear a featherd boa. Je-sus, is that thing fruity. Do people really care THAT much? especially when they could have been watching the heaving cans FBI Agent Chesty Freckles on 24 last night.
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and she's also quite hot in that oestrogen fest Mona LIsa Smile. Which is dreadful.
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Eastwood looks over in the neighbor's yard as they are about to cut the head off a chicken and growls, "SAVAGES...."
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Jan 12, 2009 11:21:28 AM CST
I wouldn't watch 24 is if it was a gang-bang webcast....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...I saw one episode years ago and it was the gayest shit I've ever sat through.
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The Cardinals playing a home game in the space aged toilet bowl in the cotton field, have a good chance of winning. They play tough at home, real tough. On the other hand the Cards played tough on the road so maybe they're over that hump now. We'll see next year, that's where the real change will be seen or not, If they can buld on this seasons success.
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through the first series of 24 and will never watch another episode. I just got bored.
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Not Nadia levels of hotness, but damned hot nonetheless. Kind of annoying that not that much happened in those two hours last night. Here's hoping that tonight's is better...
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you would not watch 24 even if it broadcast that 10 man all gay gang bang movie you were pushing last week? Jeez your fickle.
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Watching Predator later on. VHS style.
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If I could watch Kiefer get violated by the entire UFC crew. I might tune in for a few minutes. I wouldn't get sexual pleasure out of it....but it would put a smile on my face to see Kiefer put in his place.
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It's a good thing you missed last seasons 24. It sucked goats ass. I wasn't planning on watching it this year, but damn it, I'm immature and the the well endowed in the juggs area, freckly redheaded FBI agnet drew me in. Yep, hot broads will get me to watch things, I'm that shallow.If it turns into last seasons ungodly mess I'll bail, cans only work thier magic for a short time.
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It seems like your not down with the Keifer. I can understand that, I've only liked him in 24 and Lost Boys. Other then that, he's seems like a drunken douche trading on his last name.
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didnt have time when I posted that.
The quick rundown.
Vicky Christina Barcelona was watchable to me, but I didn't really connect with it at any point. The acting was all great, and I actually think Allen's direction was noteworthy as well. I can admire it, but I'm not sure I like it. Similar to the way I felt about Benjamin Button(whch I recently realized with horror I had listed as my best movie of the year on the last TB, due to being exhausted, delirious and tipsy when I posted the list).
Tokyo Gore Police. Everyone here will love it. It's pure fevered, go for broke schlock and it's got waaaay more style than Machine Girl. TGP isn't as good as Dead Alive, but it totally sacks that movie for inspired insanity and surreal entertainment.
The Unborn. We went to see this at a late show, and well, it could have been worse. It isn't exactly good but I had a good time with it. It has some neat monster fx, and a decent concept, but it's just not constructed all that well, and the only definition they give Odette's character is her tight white panties that outline every detail of...well, you get the picture.
The swivel-head dog with human mask was used to good effect, as was the innummerable creepy kid moments but Gary Oldman was wasted. The movie should have followed him and developed the Dibbyk storyline more. As it is, it's more of a fun, pick it apart with freinds kind of movie. Wait for rental for sure.And then wash it down with beer.
Best bit of the weekend was Ip Man. Those were some awesome fights and Donnie was great. This is Donnie Yen's Fearless. I'm definitely in love with this movie as a rocking martial arts flick and as a showcase for Yen. The structure and story of the movie are also stronger than most of the stuff Yen is involved in, so that makes this one a little miracle of sorts.
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and all the other MMA aired events are the GAYEST thing ever aired. Its more gay then the Golden Globe TB and Gay Porn.
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See thats what I'm saying man.....these Oscar bait movies get hammed into your head and you just subconsciously list them on your best of the year list whether you like 'em or not. FUCK!!
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...he was good in Lost Boys and Young Guns. Thats it.
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If I pay for a Box Office event, the Main Event's not going to end in twenty seconds.
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Hehehehe. Thats funny. But I think MMA could quite possibly be more gay than Gay Porn considering the fact that most Gay Porn actors aren't gay!! They just need the cash, and they're good with their dicks! If the MMA guys were more manly they would be doing gay porn! Instead they are being paid to roll around on the floor soaked in another man's blood, piss, and sweat.
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Mrs. Jarv is making threatening noises about it.
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there's 2 keifers. There's one that makes good films. And there's another one that is just a complete cunt. Good Keifer= Young Guns, Phone Booth, Lost Boys, Dark City, Freeway.But he's a rare beast.
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Jan 12, 2009 11:48:24 AM CST
I've just discovered he was in a version of LA Confidential
by lost jarv
want to bet that sucks goat nob.
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But still. They're overwhelmed by the suck
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He's acting like he's in a fey version of West Side Story.
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Jan 12, 2009 11:52:30 AM CST
what the fuck? He did the voice of the Nutcracker.....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....in a cartoon called The Nutcracker Prince?!! Why would The Nutcracker have the phlegmy growl of a chain-smoker? Awwwww fuck. Thats funny.
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Okay Keifer was good in that one also.Danny are you familiar with the gay comidian named Ant? if so, then MMA makes Ant seem like a combinaton of John Wayne, Kurt Russell and Bruce Campbell's chin. MMA is THAT gay. Why don't the "fighters" just admit that they like to "grapple" with other sweaty dudes?
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there can be no denying this. On this note- This weekend I watched the Special Edition of ESB- I was given the box set by my fat sister for Christmas, and it's been a while since I've seen it. Is the scene where Darth talks to the Emporer on the big screen new? I can't remember and don't want to sit through it again. Either way, it shows what a complete hack cunt lucas is- at one point the emporer says to vader "Search your heart, you know this to be true"- almost the exact same FUCKING line that Vader gives to luke later.
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I forgot about Dark City, Freeway and Phone Booth. Okay I just realized I'm dumber then I thought.Screw this, I need to go shovel my first pizza in 6 months down my pie hole. Then I'm going to crush a double double from In-N-Out Burger.
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Isn't that the point?
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Is that the TV one? That I think never aired?
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Saw it yesterday instead of watching the Shittsburgh Cunts win again. Another disappointment for me. It was GOOD, but again it didn't really wow me. If it wasn't for the TDK and In Bruges this has to been one of the worst years in film in a LONG time.
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Jan 12, 2009 12:02:45 PM CST
I wonder if that MMA guy that blew his head off....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....right before Christmas had just been outed. If they just admitted that it was a homosexual sport, no one would care. They would still get the ratings. We are a tolerant nation. "TAP OUT" would just be known as code-talk for "SWALLOW MY SEMEN" from here on in. Thats the way it should be. -
LOL! WTF man?
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....because I'm interested to see many of the top contenders. This is the first year EVER that I've actually wanted to see the Best Picture nominees before the awards. I've got Turino and The Wrestler down....I'm gonna try and catch Slumdog and Milk. I dunno about Benjamin. It looks good but I just sort of want Brad Pitt to go the fuck away. Oh and Revolutionary Road....another one I wanna see. -
I just heard that "The Rickey Henderson" is a first ballot lock for the Baseball Hall Of Fame. Sweet He should be with all the records he's put up. I can't wait for the press conference and all the third person talk. It will be gold I tell ya gold.
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"Johnny’s total recall puts Ann’s clairvoyance to shame and marks him out like a pervy Rain Man with his amazing memory for B&W nudie pics."
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I think it's hackery and Lucas couldn't think of another line.
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I missed that one. you're probably right Danny, he got scared about being the first of many to get outed and offed himself.
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.....any of the Empires. Empire Strikes Back, Empire Records, Empire of the Sun.....fuck, I'll even defend Empire starring the late, great John Leguizamo.
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http://tinyurl.com/95yyss
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Ill of Lucas's half-witted meddling. And I'll speak no ill of Empire Records or Empire of the sun either.
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He's not dead. Just his career is.
And I had such high hopes for him after The Pest. -
this year DESTROYED 2007 and 2006. I couldn't disagree with you more.
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see you tomorrow.
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Other than me trying anal for the first time.
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but Button is TOO LONG. Jesus.
Older Cate Blanchett is unintelligable throughout. Lose the cotton balls.
The cinematography was flat. Somebody turn on a damn light already. I squinted threw the whole fucking thing.
Cate Blanchett's character was effing annoying.
The Katrina backdrop is seemingly without purpose other than to pander to audiences.
They left out one of the ways the old man was struck by lightning which just pissed me off. It was a nearly three hour film. They couldn't have thrown in the final one and extend the film's length by 10 more seconds?
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Because I did enjoy it, but it's the first time I've seen the special edition. There was nothing as annoying in it as dinosaurs in Mos Eisley, though.
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....the MMA fighter I will refer to as "Jeremy" has not spoken to me since. -
really off now.
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....I'm no purist. Give me the Special Editions. The additions in Empire were marvelous. And I'm young so this was the way I first saw them in the theater.
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2006 was the best year for movies in about a decade.
Children of Fucking Men, Babel, Pan's Labyrinth, The Departed, Casino Royale, Letters from Iwo Jima, United 93, Borat, The Fountain, Brick, Superman Returns (suck it), V for Vendetta, Miami Vice, Beerfest, The Descent, Apocalypto, Clerks II, Little children, The Queen, The Last King of Scotland, The Road to Guantanamo.
Every single one of those films kicks everything's ass I've seen this year so far aside from TDK. -
Jan 12, 2009 12:25:26 PM CST
"I was given the box set by my fat sister for Christmas"
by just pillow talk
I almost choked on my lunch....
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While unnecessary, nothing in the first two did anything to take away from the original releases I think. It's in Jedi where the band and putting in whiny Anakin were stupid additions.Check that. I forgot about in Star Wars with the Han/Jabba scene, and Han stepping on his tail. Dumb.
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Not to mention Greedo shooting first. the horror.
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Children of Men = great physical effect/stunt demonstration, but I can give a fuck about anyone in this movie living or dying.
Babel = the only story that is interesting is the Asian chick that can't keep her panties on. Brad Pitt put me to sleep when he pretended to cry.
Pan's Labyrinth = I hated the girl, she deserved everything she got cause she is a fucking idiot. Frog part was cool but pointless. Mr. Guillermo "Gratuitous Violence Makes My Films Seem Important" Del Toro. The ending in the throne room looked worse than that scene in Dungeons and Dragons.
The Departed = Worst music editing I've ever heard in my life. Leo is playing the same character he plays in every film which is basically just Leo about to cry and jabbing his index finger in the air to look older. Matt Damon is good at being a prick, we know that. The last 20 minutes are boring, predictable, horrible squib effects. Photography in the whole thing is atrocious.
United 93 = Glorified made for TV movie. Okay story, but no reason this needed to be a theatrical release. -
Jan 12, 2009 12:32:44 PM CST
Star Wars SE.....I agree those moments sucked.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
But the good far outweighs the bad.
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You jumping on the Cards band wagon now? There's still some room left. Although the shitbirds on the radio and ESPN are trying to take all the available seats that before Saturdays game, they were pissing on.
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If you're just looking at pure Hollywood, then OK, it was mediocre. But the independent studios knocked it out of the park. And the foreign market was never better.Bunch of damn Keifer haters on here. Oh well, screws youse all. A Canadian is the hottest property on TV and that's all that matters.
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I just thought it was okay. And I definitely wasn't crazy about The Departed, which seemed to me like a comedy. I really hate Jack in that.No comment on Superman Returns.I wasn't enthused with Miami Vice, but I did promise Danny one of these days I would revisit it.I never saw Clerks II, but I didn't like the first one, so pass. Likewise I didn't see Little Children or Road to Guantanamo. I did not really care for the Queen, I found it quite boring.But I love Children of Men, Pan's, Casino Royale, Letters from Iwo Jima, Beerfest, The Descent, and Apocalypto. I also liked Jet Li's Fearless, The Protector, Zodica, Eight Below, Perfume, The Prestige, Rocky Balboa, Who Killed the Electric Car?, The Proposition, Stranger than Fiction. '06 was a good year for me.
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If I was a betting man, I would still go with the superior defense of Philly. I seriously hope the Cards can keep them off balance with some sort of running game. James better get his fucking act together and think that he's still with the Colts.
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That didn't bother me if it didn't look so shitty in execution.
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...the tone of that film is fucking ridiculous. I can't take any of it seriously. I like Wahlberg in it-- but I found myself laughing every time he spoke just because the entire premise was so corny, and his stone faced bad ass feels like a character out of a Deuce Bigelow movie.
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a whole bunch of them.The beginning of the fall of the house of Lucas began with The Return of the Jedi, sped up through the roughly 1.5 million versions of the orginal trilogy, reached terminal velocity with the prequals and he hit the ground like the coyote in the road runner cartoon with Crystal Skull.It's sad to watch the trajectory that Lucas burned onto the big and small screen. He was good once. Hey, James Cameron, you might want to take some notes here. Keep in mind a 10 plus year hiatus does not bode well.
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since I haven't seen a shitload of movies from '08.
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Alec Baldwin and Wahlberg are good in it, but not in a serious way in which the nature of this movie should have been.
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The Departed, Babel, Letters From Iwo Jima, Little Miss Sunshine, The Queen.
If this years nominees are from this list is The Wrestler, Frost/Nixon, Revolutionary Road, Slumdog, Dark Knight, Milk, Gran Turino, Benjamin Button-- than that is already far more interesting. -
Children of Men is the best fucking movie in 10 years.
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I guess you like movies jam packed with visual flare and little to no story. I mean its nice to have a 5 minute uncut shot of explosions and gunshots and practical effects, I like that shit as much as the next guy-- but a great movie that does not make. The trailers were far better for the film because the trailers suggested there was some kind of soul to the film.
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Except for Babel and Letters. the others were good but shouldn't have been nominated. Slumdog is some seriously overated maudlin tripe. It IS this year's Juno/Little Miss Sunshine. Gran Torino is a lock for best film nomination becasue the Academy can't get their mouthes off Eastwood's cock and they are in the same demographic. You can almost see the old as dirt voters sitting on their porches pointing their fingers at the gooks and darkies. GT is good but top five film? Shit no. Frost/Nixon is hateable and nearly a compelte failure except for Langella's performance. the others i haven't seen.
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...a damn fine film. Acting, writing, photography, music....across the board it kills.
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Jesus you must not have one then. watch it again man.
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The acting was good I'll give you that but it more contrived nonsense with no footing in the real world.
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Lovewd her. Fucking damn sight better than Little Miss Mumbles from The Fall.
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.......the character was just horribly fucking written. There is a problem with that hideous Man-Beast Ron Perlman, under pounds of red prosthetics, can still be more likable than this young girl. -
It seems that all I've gotten to. Yay me.10,000 BC, 27 Dresses, Baby Mama, Hancock, Made of Honor, What Happens in Vegas.
Good - Bank Job, Chop Shop, Cloverfield, The Dark Knight, Doomsday, Hellboy II, In Bruges, Iron Man, Mongol, Son of Rambow, The Spiderwick Chronicles, The Visitor.
Mixed - Be Kind Rewind, Flashpoint, Definitely Maybe, Get Smart, Incredible Hulk, Indy 4, Kung Fu Panda, Leatherheads, Mummy 3, My Blueberry Nights, Run Fat Boy Run, Street Kings, Vantage Point, Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show, X-Files 2, Zombie Strippers.Hmm...the mixed category will probably always dominate every year, which isn't a surprise. Granted, I haven't seen all the late release stuff and some of the other mainstream ones, but that's what I got so far. -
...starring the Asian chick from Gran Turino. I thought that girl was kinda fine. For an Asian girl, she had back.
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Yep, Rickey's on the ballot. His imminent induction into the HOF should be announced today as a matter of fact. Would've been the first unanimous induction if not for some fuckwit voter in Arizona.
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and I still have loads of movies to get to. I feel much better now.
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Do you know who the Arizona fuckwit is? Is it the retarded baseball writer from the Arizona Republic, because that I could believe.
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Rickey would have been really great then.
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That will be intertaining as all hell.
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The Spirit is the first 'oh my God that is fucking terrible' film out of the gates, and we're 12 days into the year.
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Watchmen is going to be slow-motion Hell... Star Trek is going to try to be a reboot, within continuity, an origin story and a time-travel wank fest... Wolverine, nuff said... Avatar is being promoted as the equivilient of a serial rapist... where's the gold at the end of the rainbow?
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You'll probably be watching a lot of those shitfests to get to your magic number.
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Jan 12, 2009 1:46:59 PM CST
it would be great if Rickey tears the top of the podium
by just pillow talk
and takes it with him.
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nonsense! Rickey poured his heart out for every one of the 18 teams he played for!
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Nope, I refuse to go and see Star Trek on principle. And Avatar can go book it as well. If it means I end the year with 363 or 498, so be it.
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I think you're right, it was 18 teams.
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Since the last 3 movies blew Federation ball sacks, this one can't be any worse.
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‘Joe the Plumber’ Wurzelbacher told a group of journalists covering the conflict in Israel and Gaza that he didn’t think the media should be allowed to report on war.
“I think media should be abolished from, you know, reporting,” Wurzelbacher said. “You know, war is hell. And if you’re gonna sit there and say, ‘well, look at this atrocity,’ well you don’t know the whole story behind it half the time, so I think the media should have no business in it.”
Wurzelbacher arrived in Israel on Sunday to start a 10-day assignment for pjtv.com, a Web site run by the conservative media outlet Pajamas Media. The plumber-turned-foreign correspondent said he wanted to cover Israel’s side of the conflict, because he thought the media was slanting the story to make it look like “Israel’s being bad.”
In his first day as a reporter, Wurzelbacher described the hardships of daily life in the southern Israeli town of Sderot.
“I’m sure they’re taking quick showers, I know I would,” Wurzelbacher said. “So you can’t plan your day, you can’t take a picnic.“Why not just send Pillow the Accountant to Pakistan and I'll report on their nuclear security. -
What a dunce.
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"When someone hits me, I'm going to unload on the boy."
--Joe the Plumber in Israel -
If it bleeds, kill it.
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Jan 12, 2009 2:51:06 PM CST
Joe probably can negotiate the Israel/Palestine conflict.....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Joe will hold both of them by the ear and scream "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" -
"...the Republicans didn't put out a candidate for us to really vote for. It's the lesser of two evils. When you get to that level, you've compromised your principles, you've compromised your values so often and you owe your soul to whatever special interest group or lobbyist has padded your campaign finances and everything else that you no longer are your own man. So you can no longer stand on your own feet because they've been cut out from underneath you years ago."
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I recently just purchased that masterpiece, so I may have to throw it in after 24 tonight. Have to play it by ear...
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He's a badass mofo.
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Everyone have a downright peachy night. That's right. A fucking peachy night.
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Jan 12, 2009 2:55:44 PM CST
Joe does commercials for digital TV conversion?!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
http://tinyurl.com/5uyejm
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Carl Weathers liked making films with homosexual subtext in the 80s. Whether it's Rocky and Apollo splashing each other with water, or holding Ahnuld's hand tight as he can in Predator.
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Carl Weathers as Bishop... Michael Biehn as Cyclops... Lance Henriksen as Magneto... Mel Gibson as Wolverine... Dolph L as Sabretooth... Donald Pleasence as Xavier... Elizabeth Perkins as Jean...
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Pimps exploit the hole. No matter what hole.
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Grace Jones = Storm
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Fucking Hell, that's genius. Grace Jones as Storm would've been awesome because no-one fucks with the Jones. Christopher Walken as Beast.
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Touche. Michael Keaton as Sinister.
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Jan 12, 2009 3:08:19 PM CST
X Men (80s style) Directed By: William Friedkin
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Cable.
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That was the worst knife throwing effect I have ever seen. Awesome
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The battle of the McFly's rages on.
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Extra special cameo.
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Imagine the magnitude of destruction after that brawl!
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He doesn't need any make-up.
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He can bring his own eye-patch.
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...at least Stoltz can say his feet are in one of the greatest films of all time. I can't say that. :(
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Man, that would have been amazing.
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...I'll do a stop motion film about this on day. Hehehe.
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But you were never fired from one of the greatest films of all time.
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Just recycle old dialogue they use. Every line Biehn has ever spoke could work for Cyclops.
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Oh shit...that would be fucking awesome. Use all existing lines from these actors!! You could totally put a story together. It would take forever, but you could do it. I'm trying to figure out the execution though. Maybe South Park type animation with head cut outs of the real actors, where you just use different eyes and mouths for expressions and talking.
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Or you could do what they did for Watchmen - where DC used the comic-book panels but just did voices over the top. I'm sure there's someone here who can draw.
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They have South Park character generators online. Make a bunch of those, then just see if you can put those into a comic-book like background.
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...hehehe. Its gotta look cheesy. I was also thinking of that old Nickelodeon show Action League Now!! which was shot using action figures with this method:
Chuckimation is a type of animation created by the makers of the show Action League Now in which characters/props are thrown, or chucked from off camera or wiggled around to simulate talking by unseen hands, combined with traditional stop motion animation.
An animation style similar to chuckimation is used in the show, "A Town Called Panic", where clay figures are posed and moved by a strange force. Every time they talk they move a little, and their mouths don't move.
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This using action figures... it could work. Just stick sunglasses on Kyle Reese... paint Rambo silver... not sure how Perkins would work, but the others would.
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They spent a minute having fire men fire randomly into the Jungle... and then switch to a poignant burial scene. Genius.
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How many people were raped by that picture?
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I almost choked on some water, I was laughing so hard at that post.
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Predator is brilliant1
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Hope you are all well Changiens! Miss you all
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How goes, yo?
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with the white costume from the comics, and the little skull on the forehead.
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how about yourself?
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Netflixs is finally sending Hellboy 2. Is there anymore night crew?
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The 80s X-men is probably one of the coolest ideas ever. Lloy's voice for Beast would be genius.But I suggest Lundgren for Colossus and Sly for...I don't know, Cable?And I really like the idea of Rutger Hauer as Magneto. Just because the actual movies cast him as Ian McKellan doesn't mean he has to be an old fart. Don't get me wrong though, he was still great in the role. Hauer would just be way, way cooler.
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but Leanoard Nimoy as Charles Xavier. Has anybody ever seen that guy bald?
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I don't know what the fuck happened
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FUCK!
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Jean Claude as Wolverine and Sly as Cyclops, but Cyclops doesn't have to wear the eye thing.
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I'm pretty sure I disagree on all counts, but then I'm pretty sure you were joking anyway.
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Charlie Sheen as Wolverine.
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You reading No More Heroes?
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....what about Patrick Swayze as Cyclops? Remember this is casting these people circa 1985.
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like Bishop, Cable or that Gambit pansy. Since wrestlers were getting in movies even back then, cast King Kong Bundy as the Blob.
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I have heard of No More Heroes, but have yet to read it. Is it good?
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Fred is so bummed for not being able to participate.
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okay no Cable, no Bishop.
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back in 85, he would have been absolutely perfect.
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although, I hate Matthew Broderick.
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another cool possible Professor X
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as Cyclops? Too young?
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Marlon Brando as Apokalips.
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the mutant Apocalypse. Seriously, I want to hear some opinions on this one.
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so Brando could actually be good casting, how fat was he in the 80s?
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Crenna just might lend some credibility to the stupid space pirate character.
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I just figured the names were the other way around since Apocalypse has those weird lips that practically wrap around his face.Any ideas for a good Sebastian Shaw? I've always thought an X men movie where they fight the Hellfire Club would be cool.
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Jan 13, 2009 12:11:47 AM CST
GOOOOOOOOOOOD BLEEEESS AMEEEEEEEEEEERICAAAAA!!!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Going from Node's list: Children of Fucking Men (meh- OK but overrated), Babel (dull), Pan's Labyrinth (Great, but not Hollywood), The Departed (Shit. Like, really shit), Casino Royale (OK), Letters from Iwo Jima (Not seen), United 93 (Danny's right. A TV Movie), Borat (Shit. Old as hell.), The Fountain (Good), Brick (Not seen), Superman Returns (not doing this again, but the worst Superhero movie since Superman 4. Just a colossal failure), V for Vendetta (meh), Miami Vice (didn't like), Beerfest (dogshit), The Descent (2005), Apocalypto(meh), Clerks II (not seen), Little children (crap), The Queen (crap and overrated), The Last King of Scotland (2007), The Road to Guantanamo (not seen). That is not a good list.
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I watched Sin City for the first time since 2009 and enjoyed it. Course, I was pissed.
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and so far, for us we had No Country and There Will be Blood in January, so they count as 2008. It's better than 2006 on almost every level.
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I know that we'll never agree, but the additions in Empire (aside from that supreme bit of hackery discussed above) don't hurt it. In some cases they improve it. The really offensive ones are the dinosaurs in Mos Eisley, Han shooting first, Jabba, That muppet band and the biggest crime of all: CGI-ing that little prick into Jedi. I've no problem with cleaning up special effects, but the additions feel like deeted scenes and were deleted for a reason.
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the actual story is fascinating, and it was a great play, but I don't think it's particularly cinematic. Frost is seriously underrated. At the time he was a force to be reckoned with, and he's one of the most important people in British TV ever. The state of him now is actually quite sad.
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as opposed to my other sister that's thin. hmph.
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If this cartoon pirate says AAARGH, one more time, I'm throwing the TV out the window.
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An adult woman dressed up like a little kid with pink hair. I HATE TV.
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Still freezing your asses off?
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which was shit when I was a kid.
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It is a little damp, though.Stupid England. Stupid rain.
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I hate the cold. Despite being Celtic, the cold makes me unhappy. I think I must have some spanish in my DNA.
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Couldn't be bothered.I did watch two episodes of The Wire, though, both of which were very good.Jaws is on tonight. I've seen it a gazillion times, but I can always stand to watch it again.
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I'm watching this great movie from 1985 right now because I'm fucked up from travelling. Je-sus H. Kee-ryst this is one fucked up magnificent movie. I never get tired of it.
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I shall requet it from Lovefilm.
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Bruce Lee Roy? The Shogun of Harlem, SHO'NUFF? none of that rings a bell? I'm shocked because it's a schlocktacular epic and I would figure you would be all over it.For your own personal safety I would recommend hiding the rental from Mrs Jarv. I don't think most women can appreciate the sublime sillines of the Last Dragon.Oh yeah it also has William H. Macy in it. He looks the same in 1985 as he does now. No kidding.
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Jan 13, 2009 3:44:14 AM CST
2009 = 4 Films, a shitload of TV & an overrated comic
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Watched...X Files: I Want to Believe which was mildly disappointing as I liked the series and the first movie. Paedophile humor? C'mon! That being said, it was good to see Mulder and Scully on screen again.Lakeview Terrace - Good. Sam Jacksons best role for a while (since The Spirit?). A good thriller that ends in predictable fashion but is well made and acted. Just not a patch on Unlawful Entry.Pineapple Express - It's ok. One or two laughs in between a string of mild chuckles. Franco was pretty good. Too little script, too much obvious self congratulatory riffing.
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...was on a beta video.I just had a quick nose at the Wikipedia page about it, and apparently they're doing a remake with Samuel L Jackson.
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They will remove all the things that made the orginal Last Dragon good. Bad acting, a horrible 80's synth/pop score, suprisingly ok fight scenes, a massive case of the sillys and the very unPC depiction of everbody and everything. Oh yeah and the pop singer vanity. She can't act or sing but she's oh so very easy on the eyesThe remake will probably have SLJ growling his way through the remake for a paycheck and the new movie will probably be all serious and shit.If ya'll can get a hold of the orginal across the pond get it and be prepared to have some fun. Some alcohol will also help, but for this crew that doesn't seem to be a problem.
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I'm sick of the sight of SLJ nowadays.
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and sounds wonderful. I think Mrs. Jarv is going to be pissed at me for Hard Rock Zombie.
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I think I need to slide on over to IMDB and check that one out. Is it about zombies that rock or is zombies at the Hard Rock Hotel? Ah who cares? I should get that on the strength of the name alone.
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That'll be a fun Thursday eve.
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DocP has called out Danny on that Avatar thread. Shitstorm ahoy!
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Jan 13, 2009 4:57:26 AM CST
DocP certainly has a think for Danny
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
It's very amusing. I'm looking forward to seeing his reaction.
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but it doesn't look like it ever got a UK release and Amazon deny knowledge of it
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After all the talk of MMA, I'm disturbed.
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Jan 13, 2009 5:18:09 AM CST
Danny's anti-Cameron stubbornness is very entertaining
by franklin t marmoset
I don't agree with him at all, but I'm happy to read him going on and on and winding up all those angry AICN types.Very funny.
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Heh - how long do you think we can make people think you've seen footage from Avatar?
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That's a good idea, but I've scuppered that by pretending to be a concerned parent again.I don't know why, but it's fun pretending to be so well intentioned and yet deeply ignorant.
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...to anyone who says I don't need to pretend to be ignorant.I know stuff!
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Cameron has not done anything good in a hell of a long time (Titanic is fucking dreadful. I don't care how much money it made)and this furious masturbation over Avatar (when we know fuck all) is just plain daft.
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I don't get that, but then I don't spend enough time in the regular talkbacks anymore.I'm looking forward to Avatar, purely because I've liked a lot of Cameron's films in the past and I'm keen to see this new one. It could turn out to be shit, I don't know, but I'm still looking forward to it.No masturbation. Well, not over this, anyway.
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but my eyeballs are feeling very unmolested at the moment. The hype for it here is off the scale. Cameron- I like Terminator, Aliens, T2, True Lies and The Abyss and my only real hatred is Titanic, so I think it will be good.
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Jan 13, 2009 5:50:12 AM CST
The last time it felt like my eyeballs were being fucked...
by franklin t marmoset
...I had a horrible hangover, and the lights here at work are damn harsh when you're hungover.I hope Avatar is better than that.
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This is very tiresome.
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and the fact that it's from the guy who directed 300, I would consider that the most over-hyped film of 2009. That's also due to the fact that every second story nowadays is Watchmen related. I'm sure once the Avatar poster/teaser/trailer appears it will be getting hyped like no other film.I'm really looking forward to it though. And Where the Wild Things Are. Those two above all else this year.
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Watchmen, overhyped overrated and over soon.Free GIANT BLUE cock for anyone that buys 2 tickets.
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If I was him, I would've chucked on some tighty whities and stuffed a sock down there.
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Don't forget he did triplicate himself so he could do some work while spit roasting silk spectre.
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is a thoroughly sensible use of cosmic powers.
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If he just packed a bit more in the meat n' potatoes department, maybe he wouldn't feel inadequate enough to offer the double team.
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Jan 13, 2009 6:38:13 AM CST
Dr. Manhattan... Expert on the ladies...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Nothing a chick likes more than the surprise double stuff.
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yes, nasty little pervert that he is. Don't blame her for shagging the fat guy with the power of impotence.
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That movie fucking rules. Simple as that."sexual tyrannosaurus".'Nuff said.
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Yeah, I watched it over the christmas break."He didn't disappear. He was skinned alive!""What's the matter, Dillon? The CIA got you pushing too many pencils?"Genius
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Saw it for the first time yesterday. Excellent film. And an awesome cast - Duke, Ahnuld, Weathers, Governor Ventura, Shane-O.
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What cave did you crawl out of?I hadn't seen it for ages, and the thing I was impressed by is how well paced the film is. Theres not one moment where I was bored or I thought it dragged. It motors along, introduces the characters, shows how much of a bunch of bad-asses they are, then brings the Predator on centre stage and it's on for young and old.Great flick.
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The cave that saw how hyped it was, and shied away from it.
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Top fucking film. I've not seen it for ages either.
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It just chuggs along. That's a nasty habit you got there.
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Predator is required viewing. Damn Mr. Z, you shy away from the Godfather and Jaws too?Ain't no man out there. We're all gonna die.
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Yes. Until I could judge them without hype or bias. I did, they rocked.
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As big as a house!
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even if I haven't seen it.
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That's funny. Your analogies are pretty much spot on.Awful film.
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"horrible anime garbage". Stubborn woman.
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Like Priscilla, Queen of the Desert got to make a film.All those colours just... look... fabulous, darling.
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they had a category where you had the name the actor's whose resume had the things listed in the answer. It went like this:
Answer: Running Man. Predator. Governor of California.
Question: Who is Arnold Schwarzeneggar?
Answer: Running Man. Predator. Governor of Minnesota.
Question: Who is Jesse Ventura?
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I'm as passionate as anyone about movies, but I don't really care that there are people out there (I'm looking at you, Jarv) who think that Children of Men and Apocalypto are crap while for me they are two of the finest action movies of the decade.There are people right this moment on the planet listening to, and enjoying a Kanye West album and yet it doesn't bother me in the slightest even though I want to stuff Kanye into a circus cannon and fire him into the anus of an elephant.People actually exist who don't like Predator and The Godfather. So go figure.You got time to duck?
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Some people think X-Men III is better than X-Men II. I don't understand how you can think that, but God bless you if you do.
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I think they're quite good. Just a bit overrated. Children of Men's action sequences don't hold a candle to T2's. Laserpants is just being silly
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And I agree with what Danny said about COM, none of the characters with slight possible exception of the pregnant girl, are worth caring about. I found the action sequences to be ok, but nothing memorable. All in all, I thought COM was vastly overrated. Not a bad flick, but not one I will watch repeatedly.
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course I've got a great affection for the book which is a minor masterpiece, and it filleted the novel. And I can't stand whatshername. Ginger chick that wails on camera
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It has been a while. Smite any shitheels lately?
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I saw it once, and I thought it was good, but honestly, it has not left any lasting impression. I will buy it one day though.
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I'd sit down and cry into an Arrogant B Ale with you if I could.I thought Clive became quite noble when he went above and beyond to save the girl and the baby. I could watch that movie once a month.What da hell are you?
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Get this this...
I was flicking channels and stopped at this kid's program talking about farm animals.
All of the sudden the narrator says "The horse goes neigh!"
My wife cocked her head like the RCA dog as I laughed my ass off.
Precious memories, how they linger.... -
I post a blog, and some guy tells me that my blog has nothing to do with anything. Why would he say that?
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I like it. I would say I like it a lot. When Julianne got her head blown off, that did catch me off guard. And I agree with Hawaiian, Clive certainly got out of the funk he was in and decided to do something about the current fucked up world the best way he knew how: save the girl, save the baby.
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Neigh means Neigh!!!!! Whoo!
HOD, I took on new responsibilities at work, so I have been unable to log on here as often as I would like. Today I have a breather, but it might be a few months before I really am able to settle down and get back to posting during daytime. -
I share Toad's sentiment on it. I enjoyed it when I watched it, but it's not a memorable movie for me. I'm not sure why, though thinking back on it, it was pretty cool how he took out the 'main' bad guy.
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have posted at the same time.
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Clive did a good job, but I just do not feel the love for that movie that some folks do.
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it's ok. Julianne Moore- that's the wailing bint I can't stand.
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But it isn't something I will purchase anytime soon.
Come to think of it, I'm trying to remember the last movie that blew my socks off.... -
Its like an adventure ride. Children of Men is a demonstration of technical rigs and physical effects. I cared for the family in Apocalypto. Someone could have walked up to Clive Owen and shot him in the face 20 minutes in and it would have been fine.
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I understand what you are saying. I'm sure a lot of people had a hard time relating or getting behind Clive's character. I think he ended up doing something heroic, something necessary, but he wasn't your typical hero. He wasn't a fighter or anything like that. Just some guy trying to get a girl with the only known baby in the world to safety against impossible odds.
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That's because you are irrational and wish death upon someone everyday! heh-heh-heh...
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Someone had said something about his bad guy roles.
I want to throw Eye for and Eye in there.
Jesus, he played a viscious cunt in that role very well. When he poured the hot coffee on the dog and grinned....fuck. -
Did you finally taste some HOD? Hardcore shit! Chitty have you blowed anything up recently?
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I could deal with that fine. It was Julianne Moore that annoyed me. It was OK, I just wouldn't rush to watch it again, but the way it's talked about here is amazing.
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...I liked her far more. When I first saw it I was thinking it would have been better if the roles were switched and she was the lead character.
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Wrapped up a bunch of sparklers in layers of duct tape and set it off.
Shattered an old toilet to itty-bitty pieces. Forgot how bad flying ceramic shrapnel can be.... -
I had not seen Chitty in quite a while. Nor, Jonah or Fred or Mavra. This madness must end! I say thee Neigh!!!!!!
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but of blown up shit in 2009. Me thinks that list will rival Zed's movie one.
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to be annoying, nor was she in it that long.
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...thats the problem. I couldn't relate to him. He just seems like some snobby prick. Thats why he was so good in Closer. He should stick to roles where he calls himself the "SULTAN OF TWAT."
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When she told Wahlberg to leave it in...Cool.
I just wish she was Angie Everheart-level as far as hot red heads, so I could have enjoyed Boogie Nights a little more. -
I think getting him out of CTU opens up a lot of possibilities. Chitty, ya know they make portable nuclear reactors now, just think what you could do with one'a them babies!
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Hated her in boogie nights, hated her in magnolia, hated her in Hannibal, She just fucking wails at the camera, I can't stand her.
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and what happened to their kid, I think he probably was an everyman.
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She be fine.
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Jan 13, 2009 10:07:50 AM CST
My two favorite characters ever are in one book
by chittychittygangbang
Fist was The Trashcan Man. Think of how cool that would be to ramble across an empty America just setting shit off.
Also loved The Kid. You believe that Happy Crappy? -
....but to me I just can't see him like that. He can't play a different character to save his life. That works in some films and doesn't in others for me. I wish it was someone more ordinary looking that didn't look like James Fucking Bond.
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Chesty Freckles is awesome. It would be nice if she could run around naked a bit with just her FBI badge.
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I found a grocery store that sells all the Stone Brewery stuff. The Arrogant stuff is expensive but it's worth it.I'm not even going to try to explain why I love CoM and Apocalypto. It's rare that a movie nowadays holds me by the throat for two hours and has me so immersed in it's world that I forget there's a pause button on the remote, but those two movies did exactly that. For me the two most visceral movie experiences in years.As much as I'll stand by 2008 as an amazing year in film, I have yet to see a 2008 movie that had the same effect.So watching Mad Men has me thinking we need to bring back the days of drinking and smoking at the office. A little less of me would die at this place if I could drink scotch and smoke Macanudos at my desk.
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...the guy in COM. And he should have talked and walked like Capote.
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1) TDK - flaws and all, it was the best movie I saw last year. 2) Iron Man - it rocked all the way up to the damn ugly ending. 3) Speed Racer - like Node would say (suck it) 4) too many left for me to think about
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I think there are very few guys that look like Clive Owen around.
Most guys his age have let themselves go to a degree and are shorter and balding more.
Maybe Paul Giamani. He looks like an ordinary guy to me and is a good actor.
When he told Julia Roberts in My Best Friend's Wedding that "This too shall pass" and took a drag from her cigarette. I swooned as pre-ejac fluid wetted my underwear. -
Lets make it happen!
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Now, HOD you just need to get some Fat Tire
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Jan 13, 2009 10:16:40 AM CST
Chesty Freckles with fbi badge in place of nipple ring
by chittychittygangbang
Make it so Fox!
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Getting closer, ever so closer.....
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Jan 13, 2009 10:19:38 AM CST
I don't know if this is true....but its funny....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Judy Wallman, a professional genealogy researcher here in southern California , was doing some personal work on her own family tree. She discovered that Harry Reid's great-great uncle, Remus Reid, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. Both Judy and Harry Reid share this common ancestor.
The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows in Montana territory.
On the back of the picture Judy obtained during her research is this inscription:
'Remus Reid, horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889.'
So Judy recently e-mailed Congressman Harry Reid for information about their great-great uncle. Believe it or not, Harry Reid's staff sent back the following biographical sketch for her genealogy research:
'Remus Reid was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory . His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montanarailroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to government service, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed.'
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It cured my Anemia.
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fuck me. I think it would be cool to have an outlaw in my geneaology
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but its amusing anyway.
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Jan 13, 2009 10:26:19 AM CST
I wonder if Equinas had a famous horse-fucking outlaw ancestor
by chittychittygangbang
I bet in a clever bit of irony, they tied four horse to his arms and legs and watched as he squealed in orgasmic glee as sockets popped and skin audibly ripped...
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Without question.
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Nice brestises too, as she showed in Dirk Diggler movie.
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her horrible wailing is like fingers on a blackboard for me.
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She's a bit of alright.Just sayin'.
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with some cretin in that other thread. For about the millionth time. Like Danny and DocP fighting.
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See Steel Magnolias funeral scene.
See Eye for an Eye in the opening minutes.
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I fucking loathe that film.
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Try Julianne Moore in Magnolia. Try Julianne Moore in Hannibal. Anyway, I refuse to watch Steel Magnolias.
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Jan 13, 2009 10:49:32 AM CST
I went to the theater to see it on a date Droid
by chittychittygangbang
Paint by the numbers revenge movie, but Keifer played the baddie very well.
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I think that may be a result.
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...and I remember Eye For An Eye. Thats Keifer as that skinhead sorta guy that rapes the girl on the table right? Sally's daughter? That movie is fucked up.
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Jan 13, 2009 10:53:12 AM CST
Eye for an Eye is despicable filmmaking
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Everyone involved should be ashamed of themselves.Not many films cause me to have such a strong negative reaction to it. That one did.
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I thought she was fucking abominably bad. In a bad filmNope, don't like her.
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Once to see what the fuss was about and another time I was trying to get laid after a night out at the bars.
Chick wanted watch Steel Magnolias, so I sat through it and ended up getting laid.
It was a fair trade as she had amazingly huge natural tits, but was a bit dry around the piss fenders. Made the condoms wrinkle -
Very enjoyable.
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Uni canteen food is putrid.
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Mandy Lane in his MBV review: "When they finally get around to taking the mask off, the revelation is not only unsatisfying, but truly obnoxious"
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I watched the Korean version of The Italian Job last night and it was called.....Eye For An Eye.What movie would everyone like to se remade with an all nude cast?
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Ba-dum... TISH!And that's a good night from me, I reckon. Cheers, all.
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Seven Bitches for Seven Brothers
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I think that was around same time as the other tear jerker with Shirley Maclaine - Terms of Endearment. Yep, been there donw that Chittty. In the name of getting some. Two words I lived by before settling down Chitlins: Lubricated Spermicidal. Otherwise could be hearing another two words: I'm late.
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I'd want something outrageously high-brow. Pride and Prejudice: "Why Mr. Darcy, I can see that you're pleased to see me"
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....watch that fucking loser DocP post that quote any second now. What a worthless existence.
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Top Gun
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What's that one with Hopkins and Thompson? Really high-brow and stilted unspoken love... that would be awesome if they played it straight, but were naked.
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I'd go The Wizard of Oz. All the munchkins with their dongs out. Genius.
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That'd be even more disgusting if all the zombies had really mashed up bodies.
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Genius. I wish I'd thought of that.
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Oh man...the basketball scene would be a classic!!
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horrible idea.
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in the buff. Eeeeeeeeeeeek!
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Interesting. But then the scarecrow might not be worried about his brain anymore and would be singing "If I Only Had a Dong."
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Yippee-Kai-Ay motherfucker.
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hehehehehe.
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The "sheist en fenster" scene is going to look uuuuuugly. Not to mention even more painful.
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that gives a new meaning to saddle sore.
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Annie in the nude. Want to bet that's a catholic orphanage? "TOMORROW, TOMORROW, THE POLICE COME ROUND TOMORROW, TOMORROW IT'S ONLY A DAY AWAY"
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my vote is for About Schmidt.
TheBates scarred me for life -
Seriously, you couldn't down that fucker with an elephant gun.
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pitcher would have two catcher's mitts to throw to.
That would be a trade-off as the hot beauty queen player from Georgia's naked glory would clash with glimpses of Rosie's hairy inflatible kayak as it rapidily squishes and queefs down the base path. -
Jan 13, 2009 12:10:53 PM CST
what if TheBates ravenous beaver crashed Burt Gummer's basement
by chittychittygangbang
That little pop you heard was your mind being TOTALLY FUCKING BLOWN!!!
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It's wrath is something not even a food bailout of imaginable magnitude could not appease.
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End of the Universe.
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wa-hoo!
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"Hey Billy! My cock's as big as a house! Get it? Big as a house..."
"Hahahahahahahaha" -
Its gonna be a bumpy ride!
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Jan 13, 2009 12:47:33 PM CST
Danny, seabiscuit WAS nekkid. Equinas was all over that
by toadkillerdog
Neigh!!!
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Seabiscuit didn't have pants on, did he? You know Tobey was loving that shit. He probably sprayed him down with Axe Body Spray-- chocolate scent every morning. He would whisper into Biscuit's ear "FEEL AS GOOD AS YOU SMELL," right before sliding a heavily greased up latex finger in his arsehole. -
Any weekend predictions? Since I went 1-3, mine are for shit
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God awful movie.
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His dancing in Spider-Man III... wars have started over things less horrifying.
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....in Seabiscuit. Probably the most realistic casting of all time. The guy had money. And she had a mouth, that needed to be both fed and pulverized with penis. -
He's the dude. End of.
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The man's pimp hand is strong. Of course he's the Dude so it's understandable.
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It was feeding her baby-bird style-- chewing up food and spitting it in her mouth. I sorta see Bridges' penis as the worm in James and the Giant Peach-- always nervous, and wearing Ray Bans. -
Life is good -but we will not talk about a certain football game
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What up homes? I am not on Cards bandwagon, I do hope they take out the iggles, but the Steelers are my second favorite team, so if not G-Men, then I back Men of Steel!
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How many people on this awful show have kids?
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One of those banal shows.
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What's up? Well i'm packing out my gear and preping my skis and snowboard to head up to Breckenridge Colorado and have some snow fun, that's about it. What about you? New job responsibilities going well?
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Jan 13, 2009 2:44:21 PM CST
Sea Biscuit sounds like a name for a mermaid's muff
by chittychittygangbang
Pass the butter and oyster shuckers!
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Imagine choopy muff diving a mermaid!
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I'd be fraked out if the Mermaid had a human bottom half and a fish top-hafl.
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I am still getting up tp speed, and the transition is still ongoing from old position, but I am enjoying it. Today I finally had most of day to just close the door - partway, and post.
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Jan 13, 2009 2:52:29 PM CST
Pirates talk about Sea Biscuits from the spank bank
by chittychittygangbang
"Arrr what a tight'n'tasty sea biscuit she did have!!!"
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Jan 13, 2009 2:54:06 PM CST
Mermaid trimming it up brazilian-style=fish scaler and a long af
by chittychittygangbang
better bring a shop vac for the clean up as well.
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Madison from Splash.
Also props to the secretary that got struck by lightning and wore her bra on the outside.
Also to dropping change and going beaver-shooting. -
Time for more Ultimate Alliance.
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"The wench had a pussy like a walrus!! Slobberin' an hollerin' ma name!"
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and knew what I know now.
Good gosh, I would make a killing betting on sports. -
Just double bag that bogie and get to rippin!
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"Before me knew it, in and out my wodden leg was goin'!"
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Makes you wonder, is bopping a Mermaid bestiality?
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...girl needs to condition them short hairs.
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Wow. I can not even remember 24. I was in Marines either yelling at someone or being yelled at.
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Because your cock would be going into a fish vagina, albiet a very large one.
It would smell the same as human vagina though. And tuna vagina of course.
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I say no, because beastiality infers that the uh, beast in question is non-sentient. A mermaid should be highly intelligent, albeit non-human. So, alien sex really.
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Cause when I'm smackin' them gills, I'm looking into her beautiful green eyes and making out with a woman!! Not a fucking fish!
The question is....if you fuck Condaleeza Rice, then is THAT beastiality?!! -
in Enemy Mine.
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Maybe that's why they have so many lives.
You know, maybe God saw how fast they were dying off and gave them a buffer zone. -
Jan 13, 2009 3:18:32 PM CST
We are treading on hallowed ground with this discussion
by chittychittygangbang
Equinas rears his head in 3...2...1...
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Do not invoke the name of the BEAST!!!!
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http://tinyurl.com/7yaefp
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If tuna is the chicken of the sea, then what the hell does tuna kitty taste like?
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I don't think any of us need to relive that again.
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Yet another hot teacher accused of having sex with a student. Where the fuck where these women when I was in school? Where?
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Jan 13, 2009 3:38:56 PM CST
is that the one that literally nailed him 300 times?!!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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The only teacher that ever tried to fuck me was Ms. Silsbee. She looked like Don Knotts in drag. Nasty old hag.
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That reminds me of the 'oh, you're a lucky boy' ep of South Park.
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i mean, WTF? it's like the last ten or twelve years all the freaks have become teachers! Where the fuck where they when I needed them? And you damn sure better believe i would not have been scarred for life!
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....reminds me of the Russian girls.
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I would like to commend you on the good job you're doing with regards to making the Cameron kool-aid drinkers go nuts. you and Laserpants are doing yeoman's work.I'd join in if I was still overseas but I have more important things to do right now like eat pizza, double doubles and hit the slopes.Keep up the good work even if I disagree with your take on Aliens. I'll file that under to each thier own lable and leave it there. I agree that Cameron is semi over rated and absolutely NO director, let alone Cameron, with his wildly uneven resume deserves the ass licking he's getting on AICN. Kudos sir.
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which is why we Jews are verbotten to have sex with mermaids. But apparently none are verbotten to have sex with their teachers. Just vice versa.
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http://latinoreview.com/news/outlander-final-poster-5977 New Outlander Poster, says that it will be out this month? REALLY?
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Outlander is actually getting theatrical release. Hey good job letting every one know.
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so someone finally smartened up and realized that since they spent all that money making the movie, they might as well release it in theatres and see if they can make some of it back?
Except from what I see, it's being released same weekend as the new Underworld, not sure if two medieval-themed action movies at the same time is a good idea. -
Sweet!
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this is fact,
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I have to see this. More than Nazi Snow Zombies
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Tomb Raider: Crade of Life- which stank, and wasn't even entertaining and Some Kind of Monster, which despite me not being a Metallica fan was hysterical. Group Therapy? what the fuck?
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Another tremendous morninbg
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Damn, knew I forgot something.
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a UK release? Pretty fucking low, I'd imagine.
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Not high, sadly.
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Damn funny movie but shit did it ever ruin Metallica for me.
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I'm having an overwhelming attack of "meh" about this, even though it was part made by Hammer.
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and the amount of time they wasted fucking about on that album is criminal. Fools.
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this is impressive/ TV has been very kind with it's scheduling to allow me to watch 2 last night.
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Was how bad it sucked and like you said, look how much time they wasted on suckage.
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I'm on 20.
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that delay- not to mention the studio time. As a Billion dollar industry, Metallica do have different rules, but from my time in the industry, I can see A&R fucking screaming at them,
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so I don't rewatch films.
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...is turning out to be my favourite part of this 365-500 business. I'm looking forward to perusing my list at the end of this year, seeing all the crap I've seen, possibly crying a little bit over how much time I've wasted. It should be good.Mind you, I saw no films again last night, so I'm still at 13. I've got a four day weekend coming up (birthday next week), so I should get time to catch up a a bit.
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Just as I am latently learning to appreciate their music? I'mnotlistening.I'mnotlistening! ;)
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but Children of Men is a fucking incredible movie. I loved Michael Caine's character. I loved Clive Owen's character's determination to save the girl and her baby, and the lengths he went to just because he had this hope that his actions would actually accomplish something. It has a powerful message of hope and sacrifice. I don't really think it hurt that he was handsome either. There's about a hundred other movies where the leads are slightly too pretty. That's Hollywood. Not everybody can be Lee Marvin or Paul Giamatti. And yeah, it had some wicked long single shots, but that shit's cool! It was so intense and well shot, I didn't notice it until I saw it for a second time. The long takes and shots aren't just there to "show off" or some bull shit. If the director was looking for spectacle, there were about a hundred other possibilities of angles and cuts he could have used. They were for effect, and they worked beautifully. The artistic design was perfect, I loved all the little characters that pop up as the story progressed, I loved the way it ended with that little spark of hope, I loved the simple, evocative story. The critical point I have noticed others make about the movie are just plain superficial, and if THAT's really what you can't get past with this movie, then just stay the hell away.
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And I say that as a long time Metallica fan. What a bunch of colossal idiots.
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That movie is a great ride, and jut has hundreds of startling, exciting, breathtaking moments. I remember re-watching it again with my dad this summer too, and just being floored by all the stuff I missed before (being so tied up in the action). The commentary on these ideas of Empire, the clashings of cultures, questions of faith and family, the eclipse of the sun, and the arrival of the conquistadors at the end. The entire movie is really building to that moment (and yeah duh, not just because the movie ends there, but because of the implications of such an event).
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I'm keeping a list with mini-reviews, going to upload it as a PDF on 010110
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It didn't lose anything to me on subsequent viewings.
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Metallica new Album is pretty good.if you you want to really appreciate Metallica listen to the S&M album. The S stands for Symphony. The San Francisco philharmonic orchestra backs up Metallica. If you can locate the DVD of the concert or maybe something on youtube watch it. It's pretty funny seeing Metallica fans and symphony fans in the same venue.
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ITV4 have Tremors on tonight. That is definitely one to watch or, if you like a good night's sleep, record to watch at the weekend.I was sort of hoping they'd do a little Tremors season, but it looks like it's just the first one.
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I just bought the download of "Death Magnetic" off of Amazon last week (for $5...good price!), if that's the new one you meant. Is there something newer? I have heard "No Leaf Clover" from the S&M album. I will definitely check out the rest of the songs from there and the YouTube videos. Thanks!
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It's easily Metallica's worst album, but I can't find it in my heart to hate it. The trouble with that album is it just wears you down - it's essentially a grinding variation on the same churning rifforama business over and over and over again. I can usually listen to three, maybe four, songs on that album and I have to stop and take a break.I do like the pingy drums, though, which no one else seems to like. PING!Thank god for Death Magnetic, though. That is a much, much, much better album. I've had some trouble not listening to that one - it's currently my favourite to have on at the gym.
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CoM is not flawless- it pales in comparison to the book, I can't stand whatshernane and I think it's overrated. I feel no need to see either of them again
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Having been through the old TB, I've actually seen 25 films this year so far. Impressive.
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I don't have freeview, blargh.
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but Some Kind of Monster is required viewing- if only to show how fucking spot on Spinal Tap was.
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yep Mavra that's the new album. You are curent and now with Metallica.If you get a hold of S&M they do a great cover of Ennio Morricones "The Ecstasy of Gold" from the Good, the Bad and the ugly. Great intro to the Album.
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Required watching. There is many a sacred message contained in this film.
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most of my work out/non work related running music is either hard rock or metal. It keeps things humming while working out.
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I have a 2GB Walkman specifically for gym use, and it's crammed with as much noisy guitar music as it can take.I don't know why, but the noisier the music, the better the training goes. Plus, I fucking hate that techno/dance crap most gyms always have playing (they even pipe it into the toilets at my gym!), so the riffs and shouting help to block it out.
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but only from before 1997. 1997 onwards was when Europe got hold of it and ruined it. My i-pod has an eclectic mix of Brazilian music, House, Death Row stuff, Trip Hop, Classical, Bowie, Stones, Gorillaz and all sorts of other stuff that I listen to depending on my mood.
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It's mostly various types of rock from the sixties up until now, but also a lot of hip hop, blues, everything Tom Waits has ever done, and some vaguely dance-ish stuff (Massive Attack, Tricky, Gorillaz, Bjork).But the Walkman is only for they gym, which means on tonne of Metallica, Danzig, System Of A Down, Soundgarden, Rocket From The Crypt, Rancid - anything noisy.
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Really cannot bear it,
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I can't listen to them a lot of the time - too abrasive - but they work great at the gym.Along somewhat similar lines, Rage Against The Machine are another great gym band. Big riffs and angry shouting, that's what you need.
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Why would you do that?
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It's the role he was born to play!
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why? cocksuckers, why? and are they still doing it with Will Smith's odious kid?
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child. It's almost at the stage where I see his name on something and don't want to see it.
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They shouldn't do it at all. Karate Kid is like Rocky, it's a film that works because of the casting... through sheer fluke. You can't have Rocky played by someone else, same with Myagi and Daniel-San.
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They probably will. Those Hollywood types do seem intent on remaking everything they can get htheir hands on these days.If they do remake it, I demand that they cast Will Smith's son as Rocky. Or maybe Shia.
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Will be played by Suri Cruise.
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I think I'm just going to argue with people in the Karate Kid thread.That seems like a useful thing for a grown-up to do.
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I suppose we (if we live that long) will all be watching Suri Cruise in films at some point in the future.I wonder what Kal El Cage's first film will be? Something awesome, no doubt. With explosions.
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I demand to see Kal El Cage in a remake of Con Air!Somebody find out if John Malkovich has a kid who can play the villain.
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Did Cage really call his son Kal El? That's up there with Moon Unit as totally inappropriate name for a kid.
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It's the Mal-Catraz.
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Both his names come from comic book characters. Nicolas Coppola took the stage name 'Cage' from the Luke Cage comic, and then he saddles his son with Superman's Kryptonian name.That really ought to be classed as child abuse.
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Kal El Ghost Rider Cage.Who wouldn't want to see all that guy's films?
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First, before I begin my review, I would like DocP for this jewel.Now then...The setup: 2 guys driving in a convertible down the highway where they spot a blonde looking for a ride. They naturally pick her up and off they go to a pond. Skinny dipping is the order of the day. While swimming with one of the guys (not sure where the other dude is at this point), she drowns the first dude. While this is going on, on the other side of the bank is this other dude taking pictures with a camera. And along side of him? None other than two midgets! One midget wears a patch. The other is a deformed ghoulish type midget.But back to the pond! After killing the first dude, the blonde is trending water when finally the second dude appears. He's swimming backwards to her (ah-ah! so that's why he didn't see his friend drown!) and then turns around and sees her. She proceeds to drown him as well.All the while they keep flashing back to the bank with the dude snapping away pics and the two midgets bouncing around.They take the bodies out of the water and chop one of the dude's hands off. The blonde grabs it and sings something like "take my hand" or something like that.This is the type of epic you will witness, along with dialog like "You're neat." and "You're weird."I will not spoil anything else.
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Jan 14, 2009 6:45:53 AM CST
I would very much like to see this Hard Rock Zombies
by franklin t marmoset
From the blurb at Play.com:"When Hitler comes out of hiding and his minions start sacrificing local townspeople to satisfy their lustful desires, the band rises from the dead to stop the murder and put the living dead to rest by rocking one more time."Who wouldn't want to see that?
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and Lovefilm sent it to me yesterday. Hah! I'm saving this for when my equally shlock loving mate isn't working. I suspect that Mrs. Jarv will not appreciate the awesomeness of it.
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that is beyond awesome. That's nearly as awesome as enslaved Zombie ho's in Lep in Da Hood.
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the other night. Not only was it the laziest thing I've ever seen (They literally read out sections from If Chins Could Kill- and even used some of the illustrations), but it introduced me to a work of genius called Rhino Bitch. Where a demented moster Rhino in women's clothing runs around rural England killing people.
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What a bunch of lazy toffs. 5,000 words essay... GAH
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because that was a nice surprise for me. Plus the Grandma in a wheelchair who turns into a werewolf (I think).
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try to get free by using, er, heads.
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to Mrs. Jarv, but she is treating me the way you treat slightly retarded children that have been smearing poo in their own hair. This is what I've got so far: "You are so wrong. A good "bad" movie should be craptastically awesome. You review these films in 2 stages- for example Doomsday-
1)Is it good? in the case of Doomsday, that's quite clearly no. Rhona Mitra can't act, it's a dreadfully confused pastiche of other movies and bits of it are frankly demented
2)Is it Awesome? In the case of Doomsday? YES!!!!! Cannibals in glasgow, using a bently in a High speed chase, detachable eyeball that can see round corners, zombies, swordfights, excellent use of music and bits of it are frankly demented.
A good "bad" movie, must, therefore, fail on question 1 but pass on question 2.
Mandy Lane had pretensions at being a good movie, and it is well made. It just fails. However, no-one could ever describe it as Awesome.
Zombie Strippers is also clearly not a good movie, but hits 7 shades of Awesome.
There are other caveats with it- if it takes itself far too seriously and is intergalactically rubbish (Deathstalker) then that counts as awesome. If it is deliberately tongue in cheek, then it is aiming at good, so must be judged by a higher standard.
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and I'm jazzed to see that bad boy.
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I took that from a blurb on a website and did not realise it was a spoiler.It will not happen again.
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They're definitely an acquired taste, and it possibly helps to be slightly retarded and/or high to enjoy them.You know, you've been making want to see Doomsday again. Maybe I judged it unfairly. I do that sometimes.Zombie Strippers is on the list for this weekend, but I wish I could make it a double feature with Hard Rock Zombies. Trouble is, I don't think the Blockbuster up my way is likely to have it.
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I cancelled my old one when I moved last year (on account of the outdoor post box/many theft-happy junkies in the area combination), but you get a much better choice of films from those places.Not Lovefilm, though. Lovefilm is shit.
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Death by weedwacker.
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Sounds good, but I don't know that anything can ever replace my favourite goofy death of all time: Death By Pogo Stick!Bounce, Leprechaun! Bounce!
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I get the affection for that film - I liked it when I was younger, too, and it has a cheesy charm to it - but it's not a fucking classic or anything.There are people over there complaining that Jackie Chan doesn't have the acting skills to play Mr fucking Miyagi!
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apart from craptastic films which I apparantly under-analyse, because (and I quote) I'm "a fucking child"
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Your wife's alright, Jarv.
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Anyway she LIKED Mandy Lane.
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I made my girlfriend of the time sit through Evil Bong with me and she didn't get it all.I tried to explain the appeal thusly: "But don't you see? It's Tommy Chong! And he's fighting a bong with a chainsaw!"But she looked at me (to steal a quote from Bill Hicks) like a dog who's been shown a card trick.I think you either get that stuff or you don't. No amount of explaining helps.
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and the deformed ghoulish midget, when converted to a zombie, eats himself.
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The originals are films that shouldn't work, but do. As I said, you cannot intentionally replicate that with a remake.
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You would think Brett Ratner had suggested remaking Blue Velvet with Chris Tucker in the Kyle McLachlan role the way people are carrying on.It's The Karate Kid, for fuck's sake. It's a cheap and cheerful, slightly silly little film that somehow manages to be enjoyable. Does it really matter if some studio decides to do it again with Jackie Chan and Will Smith's son?
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Yes, it does. Because they were a happy mistake. You can't repeat a mistake, ya know? Why not just make a new film with Jackie Chan playing a mentor to an inner-city kid?
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Thank you for the kind words. Its nice to hear someone supports my mission other than my Mother.
Enjoy your time here. When do you go back? -
that's getting to people. It isn't a sacred cow. Jackie Chan would be tops as Miyagi.
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The strong reaction is appropriate. Karate Kid is not just a silly kid's film. I don't even know if it is a kid's film. It is a damn fine movie. The relationship between Miyagi and Daniel-Saaawn is perfectly executed and paced. Ralph, Pat, and Elizabeth are all great in their roles. Its a fucking 80s classic. Though I don't want them to fuck with it, I actually hope they continue. That garbage will be laughably bad and people will look back and realize how solid a film the original is. Little punk ass motherrfuckin' Will Smith Jr. DOES NOT EXIST IN THIS DOJO!
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That shit is fucking nauseating when they say "He came in and auditioned like everyone else!!" Like that story recently of Cruise's kid playing young Will Smith in that Seven Pounds trainwreck. Cruise was saying he wanted him to earn it, so he made him read for the part. Of course he was sitting in the fucking room next to Will Smith, his closet Scientologist buddy. What the fuck?! If you hand a role to your kid whatever, but don't try to tell me they fucking earned it. I remember Aaron Spelling claiming Tori came and auditioned for 90210 without him knowing. Once he found out they reviewed her tapes with everyone else's and decided she had the strongest audition. My fucking ass!! FUCK YOU!! ALL OF YOU PRICKS!! How fucking stupid do you think your audience is?
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There's no guarantee that any remake can recapture the magic of the original. Remakes are not really any different from new ideas in that sense. It's always going to be a crapshoot.And the reason they're using the Karate Kid name (instead of doing a new film with Jackie Chan as a mentor) is because they think there's some marketing value in recycling a name and concept people are familiar with - same is with most of these remakes.You should hold tight, too, because there's going to be a fucking shitstorm of Eighties nostalgia crap heading this way, whether you want it or not.
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Loads of actors are from Hollywood families. Why is Will Smith's kid any different? If he wants to be an actor, let him be an actor.
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Gremlins, Karate Kid, EFNY, Big Trouble and Die Hard better not get remade.
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Thats why its different. Douglas Fairbanks and his kid were bad ass. Will Smith is garbage and he is shoving this little fucker down our throats, so even when Will is gone-- I'll have to sit through a trailer for MIB 8 starring his little punk ass motherfucking kid.
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Jan 14, 2009 9:35:31 AM CST
I don't remember saying anything about it being for kids
by franklin t marmoset
Shit, I'm not going to win this one, am I?It's not even like I hate Karate Kid. I really liked it back when I was a teenager. I just don't see why there's such a fuss over remaking it.
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Really, Danny?He's been in two films.
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Jackie Chan would suck as Myagi, unless they rewrote Myagi... in which case he wouldn't be Myagi. For one thing, Chan has energy. Lots of it. Myagi is calm, Jackie bounces all over the place. For another, Myagi was never about dynamic fights - he was about strategy, taking down the enemy with minimum effort.
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...he is being shoved down my throat. Fuck him and his clean rappin' Daddy.
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....I remember when he won a shitload of stupid awards-- People's Choice, MTV, etc. for Pursuit of Hapyness (however the fuck they spell it) and every single fucking time he had to go up on stage with his stupid fucking kid and have him say some cute shit, or dance, or wear sunglasses. Its beyond nauseating. His stupid fucking tactics of getting America to "Fall in Love" with this little punk.
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...not what Miyagi teaches Daniel about fighting, but what he teaches him about becoming a man. The scene with Daniel on the beach, standing on the pole while he practices -- fucking legendary. Great original score too.
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Is I don't really care about remakes. They've always been around, they'll always be around. I agree there are too many lately, but I still don't understand where the anger over it comes from.Is it honestly a surprise to anyone that Hollywood studios are culturally bankrupt?Maybe that's why I'm stumped by the Karate Kid thing. Some studio douchebag could take five of my favourite films - let's say The Big Lebowski, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, Annie Hall, Big Trouble In Little China, and Die Hard - and remake them all with Paul Walker in the lead and I wouldn't care. They have no effect on the originals. They're still there for me to watch whenever I want to.
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I'm sorry. For some reason I read KIDS in between "Slightly silly" and "film" in your original post. Don't know why. I guess I replaced LITTLE with KIDS. Because I refer to kids as Little's sometimes. Weird.
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They fucking should re-write Miyagi. If all you want is to see the same damn thing again, I will politely point you in the direction of Zavvi, where you can buy the original film on DVD (maybe BluRay, too, I don't know).A remake SHOULD put a different spin on the story.
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It's not a surprise that they're bankrupt, it's a surprise that they're remaking a sweet little film with such a cynical intent. And Pursuit of Happyness was fucking terrible.
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It's available at Zavvi, until they go belly-up.
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Jan 14, 2009 10:00:20 AM CST
the thing is...Hollywood is NOT out of ideas.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
They have thousands of great spec scripts sitting on their desks that will never be read. I have read some amazing scripts that can't get through level one. Its not the the ideas are not coming in by the boatload-- its just that they refuse to take a chance on anything worthwhile so they continue to play it safe and use familiar names and franchises.
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I have not seen either of the films Jaden Smith has been in. Maybe he really is that bad, I don't know, but I do know it's hard to find any kid actor who's not annoying on some level. That's just what kid actors do.
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The boy and girl in Bridge to Terabithia. They were very likable, ordinary seeming kids and they never overacted or played too cute. They just spoke regular. And the boy can show some great emotional range.
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With Wiseman directing and Gerard Butler as snake. It was stalled in development hell.
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because hollywood does have a tendency to shove "rising stars" into every fucking role no matter how inappropriate (Lohan, Shia) people automatically get defensive about it- especially if it's something that a lot of people hold great affection for. Remakes do afffect the existance of the original- of course they do- by eventually superceding it. Who's seen the original Scarface, for example? However, the reason they really suck is that they are purely cynical marketing exercises with the artistic merit of a photocopier.
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I don't give a toss if they remake it, but I have clearly underestimated the affection people have for Karate Kid, as well as the anger people have over remakes. Anyone would think they were melting down the original for guitar picks or something.But we're all different, I suppose. I love the original Halloween, couldn't stand Rob Zombie's remake, and I STILL love the original Halloween. It's the same great film to me. No change.
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There's a pretty good chance time has had more to do with it's slide away from the public consciousness than the existence of a remake.
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There have been other films where the remake has pretty much replaced the original, I just can't think of what. There is a good chance the new Zombie Halloween films will be all young people think of when it comes to that character in 20 years. Stuff like that just bothers me.
Oh-- another example is Poseidon Adventure. I was actually speaking to my nephew the other day on the phone and he called (he is 15) and asked what I was doing and I said I'm watching that kick-ass movie Poseidon Adventure....Gene Hackman rocks!! And he asked "Gene Hackman is in that Kurt Russell movie?" FAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWK!!! Even the shitty remakes are more known to a younger generation. -
The one constant in the universe. Sooner or later, everything fades away, crumbles and dies. One day, not only will no one remember the original Karate Kid, no one will remember the remake of the Karate Kid, either. And with that cheery thought, I bid you all a good goodnight! Cheers, all!
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I've seen the original scarface and it's a bona fides classic. Gone with the wind is from the same era, don't forget.
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Jan 14, 2009 11:06:22 AM CST
the two Scarface's have nothing to do with eachother....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Hawkes' version was loosely based on Al Capone. i don't know why anyone would consider it a remake other than that its a gangster movie that inspired Stone to write the 80s movie and name it the same thing.
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no- Depalma's is a remake. It's a fact. Stone stole quite a lot from the original. He admits it. I like Depalma's, but there's no denying it's a remake.
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I'm with Franklin on this. I could give a toss what movies get made anymore. I don't care that The Love Guru was made. Other than the 60 minutes of my life it wasted, it means nothing to me. But it did put food on the table for the crew so that's a good thing.The Poseidon Adventure is classic stuff, but I'm the one guy in America who actually enjoyed the remake. It had Kurt Russell, some mighty impressive physical sets and at 88 minutes was the most no-nonsense, cut to the chase adventure movie I've ever seen.You've Got Mail was a remake and Danny seems to like it.Rollerball and Death Race 2000 weren't good movies to begin with.And as great as The Karate Kid is, it was never going to have an infinite shelf life. Believe it or not, every 20-30 years, it'll be remade again and again, to the point where this one with Jaden Smith will be all but forgotten.Does anyone here ever think about the culture of cinema and fanboys 100 years from now? Will our great great grandchildren even know of Star Wars and Citizen Kane or will the AFIs list of 100 greatest movies have changed to the point where the number 1 hasn't even been made yet?
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were good films- sure the social satire was a bit cack handed, but they were good. Anyway- I give you TCM, Halloween, The Fog, Amityville, Ring, Grudge, Journey to the centre of the earth, and so on. There's at least 2 bad remakes for every 1 good one.
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There have been a few. Sabrina was another good one. Maybe only good remakes are romantic films? Hhhhhmmmmmmmm......interesting.
And Poseidan?!! Really HOD? Fuck. That movie was unbelievably bad. Josh Lucas, Fergie on stage, horribly written characters, a shitty looking digital tidle wave. What practical sets are you talking about? That shit looked 80% green screen to me. Josh Lucas diving 10 stories down into the flaming water....what the fuck? It was shocking how much they made Kurt Russell suck balls. They didn't realize what made the original work so well were the back stories of each character. They all had different reasons to fight for survival and you felt like you got to know them quite well. This one jumped right past all that and slammed the boat with a fucking tidal wave in 10 minutes so we can an hour of running and jumping but don't give a fuck who lives or dies.
Wolfgang Peterson is a fucking expensive hack. He should go back to Europe. Neverending Story and Enemy Mine are all he will ever have. -
God no.Das Boot was Peterson as well, and that was good.
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Jan 14, 2009 11:37:49 AM CST
I will submit that 90% of all remakes are garbage
by hawaiian organ donor
But they'll keep coming. Here's a little something to blow your mind. In 2100 when nobody on the planet knows what Star Wars or Indiana Jones are and Lucas' estate doesn't care about any protection clauses George may have put in his will, even those trilogies will be remade for the ADD audiences that are lapping up whatever 4-D, virtual reality junk San Angeles studios are pumping out.Sometimes I wonder if even Mozart and Shakespeare have a shelf life.
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if a remake is a reinterpretation of source material, then it stands a better chance of being good (The Thing, Scarface, The Fly) than if it is a "straight" remake. There's a balance to be found- if you are just cashing on on the name (Death Race, Rollerball), and are not including a single recognisable thing from the original, then don't call it by the same name- but at the same time you can be too slavish (psycho). Really, though, the turd ratio is fucking high.
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because they'll be on special edition cash grab wallet rape version #967. Arguably, everything Shakespeare wrote was sourced elsewhere- adaptations are fine, remakes are likely to suck.
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because of the fucking enormous contribution that he made to the English language. Hamlet is the most unintentionally quoted thing ever.
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I admit, it's a once and done movie. Entertained me for one afternoon and a week later quickly forgotten. Much like an expensive meal with good company.At this point I don't even remember specifics or the cast. Much like most movies after enough time has passed. I know I liked them, but for the life of me I can no longer tell you why.
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Ciao guys
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....the low point of his entire life. Even worse than groping a nun when he was 14.
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I don't think I'm being overly dramatic when i say that kids today, and their idiot parents for that matter, don't have a clue about anything that requires their attention for more than 30 seconds.Man I got old fast. Texting, American Idol, spinning rims, 3/4 pound bacon and swiss Thickburgers, pants hanging down, skirts yanked up............it's ironic they call it culture because this new crowd doesn't have any.
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And worse, I don't remember who lives and dies.We'll have to diagree on Peterson though. I love that guy. Das Boot, Troy, Perfect Storm and Enemy Mine are all aces in my book.
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Troy and Perfect Storm are asshole in my opinion. Clooney standing on a boat, screaming into a title wave "GIVE ME A FUCKING OSCAAAAAAAAAAR!!!" is just not exciting.
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fucking idiot.
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at a card with the title "Giant Wave".I didn't like that movie.The second Sabrina is not any good, original loads better. Much like The Shop Around the Corner > You've Got Mail. I love both versions of The Thing, and since they were different enough, it's all good. I really wanted to like Troy, but I don't know. It's a very mixed bag for me. A giant title wave needed to smash Bloom into oblivion.
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You hate George Clooney AND think Peterson's a hack but you watch their movie. Then Brad Pitt, another guy you want dead, comes along in yet another Peterson vehicle and you watch that too. And once again, here comes a Josh Lucas/Peterson movie and you sign up a third time.Jeez dude, that's needlessly torturing yourself.I love movies more than most people but if I don't like a director I don't keep going back. Which explains why I gave up on M. Night after The Village and don't plan on ever going back.
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...but I'll give anything a chance. I honestly will.
And Brad gave me Legends of The Fall, and River Runs Through It-- so I'll always give that guy a chance. But Clooney.....fuck. Has he ever done anything good in his life other than that cocktail waitress from Vegas? He was funny on a few episodes of Facts of Life. I think thats his high point. -
Jan 14, 2009 1:04:53 PM CST
John Scalzi hired as Creative Consultant for Universe!!!!
by dioxholster
John Scalzi hired as Creative Consultant for Universe
!!!! -
Pitt is a pussy and I don't believe him as the character of Achilles for one fucking second. I've been in two fights in my life, and they were both in 9th grade. I'm out of shape, I smoke like a train, and I'm lazy. But I'm confident I could tear Pitt's fucking face off no problem. I accept him as the free-spirited romantic, but not as some fucking bad ass. Pitt in Fight Club is equivalent to Shia in Fight Club. He has a six pack now too.
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Because the conditions here are great. Fucking cold as hell but the snow rocks.Danny, I will be state side for awhile. I have a couple weeks off but broken up in the middle so I can get my jump pay back. Then I attened a couple of schools and after that, I report to my new unit.Danny, you forgot about Clooneys star making turn on the first couple of seasons of the Roseanne Show. He played Booker.I'm glad to see somebody else likes A River Runs Through It(The short story is one of my favorites) and Legends of The Fall. Both are tremendous movies in my book. Absolutely georgeous looking.
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And like I need to fly-fish right fucking now!
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Is that good or bad? Good to have a change? Different group of guys? You gonna be located somewhere lese in the world? Is it all very hush hush, like you don't know until you get there? -
Did three kings and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes 2. Soooooo hes a douche. Troy sucked.
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I thought it was a well made, epic battle movie, even tho it was a severely pussified version of the original story that completely ignored all the great mythological elements in it. But then I saw it again on tv a few years later and could barely believe how bad it really was. Other than some of the fights, it doesnt hold up well on the small screen, it lacks the awe of seeing the fleet of boats on a big screen, and most of the acting is plain bad. The design of the horse is still one of my favorite bits in it.
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I saw Troy on the small screen.
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HEY! I had asked about that film a week or two ago. I guess someone has seen it. SOOO has anyone seen The Escapist???
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and I thought casting Pitt as Achilles made sense. He's not a scrapper or anything. His godlike arrogance and cunning were a big influence on the way he fought. I was watching something about the fight between Achilles and Hector in Troy, and they were talking about how Achilles did fight in a much less conventional manner, but made up for it with the more godlike attributes as a result of his heritage. So if that helps explain Pitt's fighting a little more, it may help you to get the fights a little better. Or maybe it's just stupid.
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...I see what you're saying in regards to Achilles. And that may have worked if they had gone with a more fanciful film with actual Gods and shit. Instead, they went with a real world approach-- so that is how I judged the fight. And seeing Bana go up against Pitt makes me roll my eyes. Bana would tear that assholes head off and fuck his bubbling neck hole. Bana is a mean motherfucker.
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I missed you asking about "Mum & Dad". The only other person I've heard mention it is ThereWolf, who wasn't planning on watching it. Hope you enjoyed the review. I haven't seen "The Escapist". What is it about?
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Is about a Prison escape. Its British and has Brain Cox.
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How'd you catch Mum and Dad? Is it in theaters?
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Also has the dude from that bad show Life and the other Fiennes brother who promised great dramatic offerings after Shakespeare in Love and has only given us another Heather Graham flick.
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Top five Prison films or things: 1. Lock Up 2. Prison Break Season 1 3. Murder in the First 4. No Escape 5. Fortress
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I found it on movie-forumz.org. I just checked and the link is not on there now. When I find it again, I'll post it for you.
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Hhhhmmmmm.... #1) American Me 2 #2) Blood In, Blood Out #3) No Escape (this counts?) #4) The Hurricane #5) Alien 3 (if No Escape counts than so does this!) Best Anal Rape Scene goes to American Me
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Oz is one of my favorite tv shows ever, and easily takes the top spot in any kind of prison rankings. Thanks to JK Simmons' role as Aryan leader Vern Schillinger, every time I'd see Mr Jameson yelling at Parker in the Spider-Man movies, all I could think about is Jameson bending Parker over the desk and assraping him.
As far as prison movies, I'd have to include Hong-Kong classic The Story of Ricky, just for the sheer insanity of it all. -
1. Escape From ALcatraz 2. OZ (I loved that show!) 3. The Shawshank Redemption 4. The Great Escape (different type of prison, but should still count) 5. The Green Mile
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It isn't on the front page blog yet...we are having a few blog issues. The link is listed on the side of the front page, though.
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1) Escape from New York
2) White Heat
3) Shawshank
4) The Great Escape - I agree Mav.
5)American Me -
But I think he's hedging on the number of years!
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Clever Toad!
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G'nite!
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In no particular order
1) Papillon
2) Shawshank Redemption
3) Escape from Alcatraz
4) Cool Hand Luke
5) In the Name of the Father
6) Count of Monte Cristo
7) The Great Escape -
Good choice Danny. Tu Pac would be proud.
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Would be my sixth spot.
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Man I've been meaning to watch that for forever. I also would include Takashi Miike's Big Bang Love, Juvenile A if I had understood any of it. I still need to see Felon. But Animal Factory is a good direct to dvd prison movie, if only for classic Tom Arnold line, "I'm gonna loosen you up before I give you the jackpot."
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of those exploitation, women in prison films. Anybody ever seen one of those?
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Harry has all of them somewhere?
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What the fuck happened to the Twelve? It doesn't look like there is a new issue coming out until after March at least. You read anything good lately?
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people, please. The absolute daddy of prison movies is Cool Hand Luke. Mad props to terry for being the only one of you to mention it. In no particular order: Alien 3, Papillon, Scum, EFNY, Cool Hand Luke. In the Name of THe father is dreadful IRA promoting, Noraid fellating, history bending horseshit and needs to be kicked off this planet fast.
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Hilariously awful. Special prizes go to Lance for gross overacting and the scriptwriter. Fortress, just awful. It would have been better if they hadn't been attacked by the truck after they got out. American History X has a fucking terrifying rape scene in it.
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great fucking question. I loved that series, and it wasn't even getting delayed that much. Guess it had to happen sometime. It said on marvel.com that issue 9 (with the Blue Blade on the cover) was supposed to have come out last week (or was it the week before that? I fucking hate books with long delays. Kick Ass was definitely not worth the wait either.
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I saw the guy who's life that movie is loosen based off of give a lecture once. Cool Hand Luke is too easy. I'm saying personal favorites, not critical best's.
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Now on Marvel is says issues 6 and 7 are coming out the same day. I don't get the big deal about that comic, I mean the whole thing is about the length of one actual comic. I think this last issue was the only one that was more then 3 pages long. Plus the whole idea behind Kick Ass is WAAAAYYYY too easy. Its like Wanted minus anything cool. I mean the shit seriously has to write itself, I bet its getting delayed because of the movie shit. Like I read the praises for Kick Ass they have every where and I am like.... really? I mean its ok, but nothing special, and they should have made issues 1-4 like 1 maybe two comics. I DO however like Old Man Logan and really want it to hurry up so I can see where they are going with it. Have you read No Hero?
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Of No Escape when they are marching and he walks out of step and up to the head guy and just shoot him in the head. And its this overhead shot, that was awesome. The Condemned is another good Prison movie. Also does The Rock count as a Prison Movie?
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In the Coraline banner ad? Anyone remember the Harry Knowles cameo in that film?
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my schlock loving mate is coming round. We have mucho cerveza and I can't fucking wait.
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Well, following R.I.P. (which I actually liked while reading, but now dislike after glancing through, not buying Final crisis 6), Morrison wrote a two parter follow-up called Last Rites, that was a great little wrap-up of some of the highs and lows of the Batman mythos, while still telling a cohesive, compelling story. When Morrison gets it right, he really gets it right.The Garth Ennis Punisher MAX series is exactly how I thought it would be, and I'm enjoying it immensely. Danny, if I had to recommend one comic to you, it would be the latest Punisher Max arc, or Criminal.The checked out the first two issues of the Ender's Game book and was pleasantly surprised. They captured the tone of the book perfectly, and it has some great art.But the best surprise I have been enjoying hot off the stands is Guardians of the Galaxy. I had the first seven issues in my pull box for over a month, and finally got to buying and reading them a few nights ago, and I love it. I picked up the next issue the same day. It's a pretty zany sci-fi story, but it works. I don't even know much Marvel alien background stuff (all that Kree, Skrull, Phalanx bullshit) but I was able to jump right in and have a great time reading it. Along the same lines, the War of Kings one-shot was pretty spectacular, and the free War of Kings cath-up book was incredibly helpful for all the aforementioned sci-fi shit I had no clue about. I'm more of a city-hero type. My three favorite Marvel books are Captain America, Iron Fist, and Daredevil.Oh, and on a whim I have been rereading the Transmetropolitan series by Warren Eliis, and I gotta say, it has got to be my favorite comic book of all time. If you can find it, buy the whole damn series. Worth every penny. The only thing that comes close to me is the Alan Moore run of Swamp thing.
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my interest in that plummeted into the floor when I discovered that that fat, unfunny, lisping, prank call making, overpaid turd Jonathan Ross was advising Vaughan on it.
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since I made that statement about Tran, I figured, why not share the rest of the top picks?10. Batman: Long Halloween9. Silver Surfer: Requiem8. Batman: Year One7. Watchmen6. Neil Gaiman's Sandman Series5. Mike Mignola's Hellboy4. Eerie (multiple authors)3. Creepy (multiple authors)2. Alan Moore's run of Swamp Thing1.Warren Ellis' TransmetropolitanWhat're your favorites Series?
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that Long Halloween is moronic pish. Is this because of the backlash against whatshisname for writing garbage on Heroes?
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sort of weird bad movie thing and has a craving to see Troll 2. This is good news.
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I can tell you why I loved it, if you're interested.It's a pretty clear, concise Batman story, that still manages to delve into the complexitites of true "justice" through its characterizations of the triumviarate of Commisioner Gordon, Harvey Dent, and Batman. Sound familiar? The art in this manages to be both hauntingly gothic and industrially stoic urban, with my only complaint art-wise concerning the size of Joker's teeth (which are enormous). The comic is just a good ol' murder mystery with some striking art, a great whodunit plot, incredibly deep, while also extremely subtle characterizations, not to mention about a hundred great moments with all kinds of Batman's freaks and villains. This is one of the few comics in which I actually enjoy the presence of Solomon Grundy.Killing Joke is definitely a superior story (it would be my number 11), but I favor Long Halloween more for its continuation of Batman:Yeah One (to me THE definitive Batman graphic novel), its juxtaposition of the many ideals of justice, sanity, order, and morals, as well as its clever, noir-ish artistic leanings.
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I have never watched that show, nor am I really interested.
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but one of them said that it devalued batman as "the worlds greatest detective", stole from much better things left, right and centre, and had atrocious mock harc-boiled dialogue. Not having read it, I don't have a clue- but I find it interesting that it seems to polarise people so much. No one ever says it's OK- it's always either magnificent or crap.
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That's his name. And he was recently fired for writing complete crap. I think that Heroes season 2 was so poor (in my comic-loving friends eyes) that they are retroactively reevaluating everything Loeb has done and are coming down hard on it. Bear in mind that one of them is an absolute Batman fanatic and even rates stuff like Venom (I think it's called)and that other one with the disease wheel thingy that I can't remember the name of,
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other than some of the stuff Batman says, but he talks like that all the time. I wasn't able to spot anything really stolen from something else while recently re-reading it, but I would argue that the number of true original works anyway are severely low, especially when it comes to comics. It's either something people accept, or they start grinding HARD on their brains to come up with a new concept. I'm not talking all comics here either, but when a writer is plotting a story around a character with a previously established mythos, it's difficult to not borrow from other ideas without resorting to total reinvention (hence all the Elseworlds stuff, etc.) While I could understand someone not liking Long Halloween for this reason or that, I love it. I'm a huge noir fan, and the immersion of Batman so fully into the genre while never sacrificing his comic bookyness, to me, is a sign of real writerly power. Especially after following Batman: Year One, which is some of the best work Frank Miller has ever done.
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is he has written some truly great stuff, but then he has also crafted some of the crappiest, most nonsensical, awful stories I have ever met. For example, I loved Millar's Ultimates series (a contemporary take on the original Avengers), but when Loeb took over, I dumped it after the first two issues. Of all the comic books I own, those two issues are the most embarassing/hated in my entire library. Never have I regretted spending six dollars so much. To think how much I could have helped the world with that money.Ah well. So it goes.
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we talked over tea. So sue me.
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after a little bedtime reading of the shenanigans of Spider Jerusalem.
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so am just going on what's been said to me. It does seem though that their dislike of the man's body of work is actually making them undervalue LH. Dunno, I'll have to read it.
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Jan 15, 2009 4:10:05 AM CST
"To think how much I could have helped the world with that money
by lost jarv
Funny.
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Fuck I'm bored. And I'm sulking about England's piss poor Rugby side. That shit is severely trying my optimism
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where are you motherfuckers?
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Hmph? Where the fuck is everybody. Not Working surely? Pah.
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and opened an obit TB. The worst bottom feeding morons of AICN always populate those things.
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one makes your day, the other makes your whole fucking week. I just thought I'd share that with you. Or seeing as there's no-one here, myself.
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one makes your day, the other makes your whole fucking week. I just thought I'd share that with you. Or seeing as there's no-one here, myself.
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stupid double post.
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Just got fuck all to say.
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Jan 15, 2009 5:31:41 AM CST
Troy DC is just as godawful as theatrical.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Just a fucking shit film. Bana was the only decent performance. Pitt was fucking awful. And don't get me started on Bloom. What a fucking homo that cunt is. There is one good scene and that was the Pitt/Bana fight.There was no Kingdom of Heaven style DC redemption with that one.
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has the worst fucking taste in movies, and he's an obnoxious fucking cretin. I'm going to use him as a canary in a mine- if he likes something, I can pretty much guarantee that I'm going to hate it.
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awful bollocks. Couldn't agree more about Bloom.
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is far and away the best prison flick. Murder in the First and Hurricane are fucking shit. Bad Boys with Penn is brilliant. Shawshank and Escape from Alcatraz as well.
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which I think is truly, truly dreadful and one of Spielberg's worst efforts.
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Jan 15, 2009 5:50:52 AM CST
Laserpants is a one-note troll
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
And a dumb cunt as well.
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But Hook and JP2 are Spielbergs worst.
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I hate that film in so many different ways. It's fucking PWSAndersen bad.
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For when you wake up. That Transmetrolitan series looks pretty cool, didn't they talk about it a while back in AICN Comics? I wanna read the series The Filth and Raising Stars. I need to read a lot more before I can give you a best of all time list. Also have you read the Invisible?
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to slobber on what passes for Laserpants' cock. Where do these assholes come from?
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Jan 15, 2009 6:30:16 AM CST
I actually think Laserpants has multiple log-in id's
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Because i've 'debated' him before and all of a sudden other tb'ers would chime in for unwarrented Laserpants support.
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that way fiskian madness lies.
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Now I have free-time!
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Watched this gem last night.Our hero - yells at least half his lines, even when the person he's yelling at is like five feet away. He also does a hysterical "yeeeaaarrggggh" yell a few times during "battle" that nearly made me fall off the couch in laughter. The bad guy - never heard an "evil mastermind" do some much evil laughter. Seriously, it's like the dude had a bunch of keebler elves underneath his shirt tickling him.There's LOTS of running. A lot more running than one would expect in a space ship.The small fighters are blatant rip-offs of Battlestar Galactica. It must have been hard for them to come up with something original. There's an epic "chase" scene in these little enforcer golf cart thingies that rivals anything you've ever seen on the big screen.It's amazing how little damage firing a mini rocket launcher inside the space ship does. Also, if you are bad guys, never stand and shoot together in pairs. You're sure to both to blown up into the air from said rocket launcher.Again, we have a clear winner. The only downside is no nudity whatsoever.
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is "firing up" some of the good guys, along with one of his patented "yeeeaaarrggggh" yells, one of the bad guys, who they don't know about yet, is in the crowd. His only comment: "asshole."Just like there's a scene where the main bad guy is in his golf cart thingie and he's talking on the radio to some of this henchmen. When they inform him that the girl got away, they flash back to him. He mutters "idiots." Then drives away in his golf cart thingie. It was classic.
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sigh.
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it's only £3. But I don't want to wait however long for it.
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Pair of cunts. I think you may be right and they are the same person.
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Fun times?
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Haven't seen that dude in ages.Anyone check to see if the obits are keeping respectful?Cool Hand Luke, Papillion, Shawshank and (if we're including POW movies as well) Stalag 17 and Bridge on the River Kwai are my 5 prison faves...."has the worst fucking taste in movies, and he's an obnoxious fucking cretin." Sounds like me you're describing, Jarv.
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You should just buy in Jarv. Think of it as a nice surprise once you finally get it.
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I would love that... if I could read the captions for Bruce. They're in this ridiculous squiggly font that means I can't figure out what he's on about.
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and you're not a cretin. Danny has totally different taste to me, but also isn't a cretin. It's the combination of gross cuntishness and horrific critical faculties that's so irritating. Not to mention the fact that he's a one-note troll of the lowest order, and only a complete dipshit would call hostel satire. OR even make any claim that it is intelligent.
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There's really some obnoxious idiots here. I disagree with Node all the time, but I don't intentionally act like a twallop to him.
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cockbags as well.
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Jan 15, 2009 8:54:40 AM CST
Since it's dead quiet, here's a question...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
What film (if any) could do with a remake?I don't like the idea of remakes, but some, like 3:10 to Yuma, benefit from it. What film had a great concept, but failed to fulfil it's potential?
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Salems Lot.
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Let me think about it.....
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Jan 15, 2009 9:01:53 AM CST
Zedd... I was going to add a disclaimer...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Stephen King adaptations don't count! He's been poorly adapted way too many times.
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to be remade. I, Robot leaps to mind. And make it into a film this time, fuckheads, not a fucking converse ad.
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I was going to suggest Hancock. It's a good idea, but neither the original script or film is any good. Plus it would've been better if the film was made 10 years ago, before the glut of superhero films came out.I know I'll get a tirade of shit for this, but i quite enjoyed I, Robot in a guilty pleasure kind of way. Chuck Taylors aside.
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but it's not what it should have been- shia, horrific product placement, crap dailogue and dreadful acting saw to that. If you ever doubt that I, Robot is a bad film: "Nice Shoes".
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knock them into 1 film that doesn't blow septic donkey cock.
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This was on Film Cock two days ago!Harry is fat!You suck!No, you suck!You're all a bunch of fat virgins living in your mothers' basements!Too Venomy!Bruce Campbell should play this role!Phew. Sorry about that. Not enough time for the Ain't It Cool today, so I needed to vent in a non-sequitur-ular fashion.How is everyone doing today?P.S. No films again last night, for which I blame The Wire. The Wire is too good. I cannot bring myself to watch films while there are still episodes of The Wire left to watch.Frank's total for 2009 so far: Still fucking 13.
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I handed in an essay, and didn't watch any films because I'm playing Marvel Ultimate Alliance and not getting enough sunlight.
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So no movies either. Videodrome and Tremors tonight
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Great set-up then uber-pretentious sequels featuring a 20 minute monologue by Colonel Sanders.eg. "I am the Architect. I created the Matrix. I've been waiting for you. You have many questions, and although the process has altered your consciousness, you remain irrevocably human. Ergo, some of my answers you will understand, and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realize it is also the most irrelevant."
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That trilogy makes me sad since I loved the first one.
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a question be both pertinent and irrelevant. What a load of pretentious cod philosophy bollocks.
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Rollerball. The original was great, but it has aged badly, and the remake is beyond awful. Remake it, update it (but keep the games as they are), and do it fucking properly.
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WNB pwned Herc in that Blunt thread. That was really funny.
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I agree. What an absolute load of shit the remake was. The night vision sequence was embarrasing.
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That there is a damn fine film. Is it on the telly? I haven't seen it in ages, and I've had a good run of Cronenbergs lately (A History Of Violence and Eastern Promises), so a little bit more of his Canadian goodness wouldn't go a miss.For some reason, my magical DVR decided not to record the first 15 minutes of Tremors last night, so I am trying to record it again tonight. Bad DVR, that's a bad DVR! It better work tonight or there'll be trouble.
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could do with it. The problem is them doing it properly and not thinking that they know better than the original creators.
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There isn't a prayer that Videodrome will ever get on British Telly. Not when you can show Tomb Raider 9million times.
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For shame.I'll have to have another binge this weekend (FOUR DAYS! IN YOUR FACE, PEOPLE WHO ARE ONLY HAVING A TWO DAY WEEKEND!) to make up for this terrible film-slacking.
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Jan 15, 2009 9:55:17 AM CST
Whats the difference between Eastwood and Ricardo Montalban?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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"Where films put their cock in you"
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Eastwood played Dirty Harry and Ricardo is fucking dead.
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...seems to be having a mini Tomb Raider festival lately, but there's only two films so they just show them over and over again. For your enjoyment (apparently).You didn't watch them did you, Jarv?
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....Rollerball shit. An interview with Chris whatever his name is priceless!
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You're sad devotion to that ancient religion of video game play has not helped you conjure up a lead in the movie watching department or given you clairvoyance enough to find the missing 15 minutes of Tremors.
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League of Extraordinary GentlemenThe film sucks.
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http://tinyurl.com/9p5e56
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only the second one. And I regret it. I've seen some proper shite this year.
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...no one could do it better. I challenge anyone to find a director that could handle the material better!
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http://tinyurl.com/a9d3cp
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because that sucks septic donkey cock as well.
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Jan 15, 2009 10:07:05 AM CST
Mr. Hyde in LXG blows away any Hulk effect....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...thus far.
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could do with it. It should be unfuckupable- it's Indiana Jones with tits for fuck's sake. Ways to make LXG better: Remove Tom Sawyer. Obvious but shit, that would improve it beyond recognition. Actually use Moores plot- don't make up shitty villains for no real reason. Think long and hard about Jekyll and Hyde, specifically the Hyde Makeup.
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Herc says he considers the casting of Jackie Chan as Miyagi a "MASTERSTROKE" because it will feel far more authentic.
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Not even my fancy new X-Box gizmo can compete with The Wire at the moment. I am The Wire's bitch for the time being.The rest of your post is pretty spot on, though. I would very much like to find the missing 15 minutes of Tremors (they better not have stolen by any gay robots!). And you've all known I'm a dirty slacker cunt for a while now. Nothing I can do about that.
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Coaxial may as well be Amazon.
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It was so unreasonably boring I spent much of it re-playing the South Park episode Marjorine in my head. That's the one where Butters fakes his own death so he can pretend to be a girl.I genuinely believe no human will ever invent anything quite so tedious as an office meeting. It will take some kind of super-advanced alien technology to cook up something more boring than sitting in an airless room while a charisma-free middle manager drones on and on and on and on...
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The first one, sure. He looked like a giant green constipated marshmallow. The second one wasn't great either. Why can't they get transformations right- An American Werewolf in London managed a perfect transformation from a man into a fucking animal and that was AGES ago. With Hulk they've just got to transform a man into a bigger green man. It must be easier for fuck's sake.
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Nope, they've already managed it- Any training involving a database. Sitting in an airless room? check Pointy headed charisma free gimboid droning on in a stereotype nerd voice? check LIttle interest in the subject being trained in? check Never use the thing being trained in? check Thing piss easy to use anyway thereby making training redundant? check Break only allowed every few hours? check.
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Nope, they've already managed it- Any training involving a database. Sitting in an airless room? check Pointy headed charisma free gimboid droning on in a stereotype nerd voice? check LIttle interest in the subject being trained in? check Never use the thing being trained in? check Thing piss easy to use anyway thereby making training redundant? check Break only allowed every few hours? check.
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I'm in double post hell today
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Thats something that really stood out as being much better with Hyde. I like those fast violent, under-cranked slam cuts as he rattling his chains. Its an old school approach where a little more and more make-up is added each time. I think mixing practical and CG is always a solid approach. Don't know why anyone wouldn't support this over full CG bullshit.
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...was that scene when he is strapped down on the examination table and his shoulder starts to bulge all lumpy looking. It looked so fucking cheap, like those photo morph programs everyone thought were really cool in the early 90s. There was no texture to his skin. I can't fucking believe they showed that shot a thousand times in the trailer.
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if I had to guess. There seems to be a beilef that CGI automatically= good, when all evidence points to this being bollocks,
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The Hulk is, clearly, awesome.I think I might buy The Incredible Hulk after work and stick it on my pile of films to watch this weekend, lumpy arm bulge or not.Maybe I don't pay enough attention to those details because when I watch that film I sit their and think: HULK! AWESOME! STUFF GETTING WRECKED! POLICE CAR BOXING GLOVES! AWESOME! and then a small amount of wee comes out.It's possible that affects my critical faculties.
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Bana. Any of them. That one you mention was shit, but it was like fucking poetry compared. Really, though, this is hair splitting as they've all been terrible.
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That's 'there' not 'their', idiot.
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APPARENTLY!!Fuck me, is it time to go home yet?
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No way......Norton transformations and the CG in general were far worse. They were done by a shit effects house-- Bana was done by ILM. Bana on the floor being held down by Josh Lucas, when his face goes green and throat starts bulging, that moment looked far better and had more detail than anything in Norton's.
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Hulk = AwesomeIncredible Hulk = Boring shite.
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....WILL IT EVER DIE?!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
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The Hulk, as a character, is awesome.That is all I have to add to this discussion.Awesome.
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Ang Lee Hulk= Pretentious boring shite French Hulk= entertaining shite.
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Everyone have a good evening.
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Hulk says "Hulk Smash" in French hulk. Nothing else is needed,
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Chinese people may smell like dead dog. But French people smell like dead dog pussy.
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French Hulk speaks. Chinese Hulk is inarticulate and shite. French Hulk FTW.
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a giant green constipated marshmallow.
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ciao motherfuckers. I will find us a new home tomorrow as this thread will have bombed through the 2K mark when it becomes unweildy. See you later.
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Jan 15, 2009 12:04:49 PM CST
Outlander poster misspells Jim Caviezel's name!!!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
http://tinyurl.com/7j8cga
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Jan 15, 2009 12:18:35 PM CST
Thats one big fucking typo... dumb cunts
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Vin DesielFast & Furious
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Jan 15, 2009 12:23:04 PM CST
Its okay. They fixed it and put out a new one!!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
OUTLANDER LIVES IN US ALL!!
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Jan 15, 2009 12:29:41 PM CST
Interesting tidbit from the Outlander wiki
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Karl Urban was originally attached to star. He left, Caviezel came on board. Urban then starred in a vikings flick after that didn't he?
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Bad ass movie with 2% talking and 98% ass kicking.
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It would have been better if Nic Cage played the Viking.
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That sucks.Doomsday all over again Jarv!
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Yeah, Ztracynzki and Morrison are two of my favorite authors. I have not read the Invisibles, or Filth, but they sound right up my alley. The thing about Morrison is that when he gets it right, he really nails it. Just look at All Star Superman.
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MAN that guy has a weird name
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but a really good Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde movie would be perfect. They could really sink into the Victorian era of London, and look a lot at the British understanding of mental illness, and things like bipolarity. I don't know why, but I really really want to see a really good contemporary version (by that I mean made today; the silent era one I saw once was brilliant too) of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The idea just gets me really pumped.
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Granted, a midget Hyde probably wouldn't terrify the masses, but it would be pretty funny.
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but I will be watching cyclops goodness this weekend. Maybe he won't get crushed this time.
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Space Mutiny should have had at least one. Clearly Hard Rock Zombies benefited from the little peoples.
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it's fucking cold too. Though I can't complain too much, I guess the midwest is really getting up the ass with the cold dick of mother nature.
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"This movie is going to fucking rock! Jason is the man of action right now! He is also a really great actor! Check out the bank job! Anyone who thinks this movie is going to be a pile of garbage can got eat some donkey shit! Because that is what most of the people think about your dam thoughts anyway! Crank 1 was good, this looks like it will be Great! It is not supposed to be serious, just a silly fun action movie! If all you film snobs cant hang with it, go jerk off to SlumDog Millionare! This movie will kick ass! So anyone who doubts Jason Statham can go suck a cock, because how you can you not like him! He is the best fucking action star today! So fuck off KWISATZHADERACH! Suck my left nut STARBLITZER! Suck my right nut PENCIL-MAN & the eat my shit as well! PANCOMPLEX open your mouth wide so I piss in it! Because that is about as interesting as your comment iS! BASS BASTARDSON lick my asshole and go make out with those two bitches from the 2 GIRLS ONE CUP video, because that is the only pussy your every going to get! Your mother probably fucks you out of pitty! Anyone else that has a problem with Jason Statham man suck a million cocks, then move on to drinking the cume! Then after that they can throw up in a toilet and then eat that for dinner! Then after that they can dig up there dead mothers and faters and eat the waste in there insides for breakfast! Anyone else that has shit to say about the cool movie, can jump off a building, spread there ass cheeks open, and land on the first sharp thing they see! Because that is about how much your fucking comment matters! All other nay-sayers can eat a cock! No pussy allowed for you faggots! I shit on all those who have a problem with the Statham! He is fucking cool! Crank 2 is going to be awesome! Crank 3 should be on the way! Anyone that thinks other wise, you can drink a period from you ugly over weight girlfriend and die! All of you haters FUCK OFF! The wrath of LARAZ has cometh!"
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http://tinyurl.com/7ewlyt
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What a twat!
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Because I refuse to accept that a girl would make so many queer jokes and holocaust cracks.
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Kung Fu Panda and Hellboy. And Little Britain in America. Holla at your boi.
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He also accuses Moore of misrepresenting the image, and claims the filmmaker has failed to respond to Yon's repeated attempts to contact him. I love how the fat bastard won't even do what all of his movies are about, getting people to interview and how they won't interview with him. What a douche.
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because in that Crank TB, it's like we've got a Tide-like "new and improved EggSalad, now with even more douche"!
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so was Egg Salad.
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If you haven't, you need to.
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and why do I need to see it?
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The new Watchmen thread is primed for an explosion. I've manged to really rile up a super nerd. Have fun, I'll check back later today and see if I can't force another geek to the edge of a cerebral hemmorage.
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having some of that
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Marketing should be shot for that. Doomsday was a British film, with very British sensibilities (much as Frank doesn't like it), and if they had released it here first it would have built up a better word of mouth. Except everywhere in the fucking world got it 3 months before we did. Stupid bastards.
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huzzah
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What's the deal today?Are we still hanging out here, or off somewhere new?
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It's a feel-good Japanese comedy with some surreal, and quiet sensibilities. It's an acquired taste for some, but it's worth checking out, if only to fall in love with the grandfather character. Watching it is like meditating and doing yoga with a bunch of mental patients. Yes, that is the analogy I chose to describe the film. so if that sounds fun to you, check it out.
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That dudes a complete twat, but there was an insane genius to his posts. But after about "The Fifth Coming of Laraz has cometh!" you could see he was struggling. To his detriment he soldiered on. He is now just a complete twat.Insane genius is fleeting.
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I plan to drink a couple of beers and watch Doomsday again this weekend. It's the sort of film I really should like, so maybe I was having a bad day and judged it too harshly.I'll report back next week and either: A) grudgingly admit I was wrong; or B) stubbornly insist it's crap.On a vaguely related note, have you been invaded by the new Underworld posters up London way? They're all over Bristol. Anyway, I thought Rhona Mitra had taken over the lead in that film, but it looks a HELL of a lot like Kate Beckinsale.
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But then I thought better of it. It's casual Friday, so I can't be assed to argue today, and am I really going to get anything other than 'You suck!' or 'You're Teh Ghey!' in response?My opinion on Crank is pretty much identical to Vern's, so I'll let him take the flack.
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Is it really worth a second chance?My bus stop has the Underworld poster, but i haven't really had a good look at it because i those flicks are shit.I keep seeing the poster for Sex Drive on buses. It's annoying that piece of shit gets loads of marketing yet The Wrestler opens today and I haven't seen one piece of fucking marketing anywhere.
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Jan 16, 2009 3:33:35 AM CST
I posted my dislike for Crank and Statham..
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
but laraz seemed to ignore me. Probably because I didn't direct it at him.
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I just didn't like Crank. Wanted to like it, but didn't. The guys who made that film are either severely emotionally stunted or horribly cynical - either way, I don't like them.I saw them interviewed once and they seemed like a couple of empty-headed frat boy douchebags, so it may be that they're both cynical AND borderline retarded.
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That squid flick looks genius. For some reason I reckon Jarv has seen it. http://tinyurl.com/8a66ll
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Jan 16, 2009 3:47:15 AM CST
To clarify, I don't dislike Statham...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I just dislike most of the films he's been in.
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I hope the film will measure up.I'm out on the first drunkening of my weekend of birthday celebrations tonight, so the DVR better record it properly. I have some very specific requirements for this evening planned, and one of those requirements is me coming back from the pub and watching Dawson fight a squid while I am drunk off my face.
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You should proposition the ladies with something along the lines of "How'd you like to come back to my place and experience the squid?"Any chick that takes up that offer would be a keeper.
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It's my dream to meet a woman who understands the allure of Dawson Vs Squid. Most of the women I've been involved with just look at me like I'm an idiot (which I may well be) when I suggest those kind of films, then they demand to watch something with Sandra Bullock or Kate Hudson.P.S. Thanks for the birthday wishes, Droid. It's not until next Tuesday, but I plan on celebrating (or blocking out my pain at becoming so fucking old) from 5pm tonight until then.
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Jan 16, 2009 4:29:33 AM CST
I need a lost weekend as well...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Been an incredibly shit fucking week. How old you turning?
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...but next Tuesday I turn thirty fucking six.Getting old sucks, hence the need for booze and whatnot.
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It's casual Friday - I can't be expected to do actual work today!
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I have to watch this, but it never got a UK release. Is it on telly?
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I'm thirty. Sucks.Jarv has gone AWOL.
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Many happy returns. You old cunt. Anyhoo, we've got bugger all staff in here, because of allegedly flu (although I suspect that they went on a midweek drunkening) so I'm dropping in and out.
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It's on Sky 3 tonight, around 9 I think. I plan to record it and enjoy it in a post-pub stupor.Will it still count on my list if I can hardly remember anything about it the next day?
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I'm just buried under work> Sort of want to cry.
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Jan 16, 2009 5:04:28 AM CST
One thing i'm watching this weekend...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Night TrainStarring Leelee Sobieski, Steve Zahn, and Danny Glover.Two Passengers(Sobieski and Zahn) and the conductor(Glover), discovered that a person has passed away on their Night Train cabin. They come across valuable diamonds on his person, that they wish to keep for themselves. So, to make it look like the man never boarded the train, they conspire to dump his body in a river that the train passes. Their scheme to get rid of the corpse escalates to the point where they have to chop up his body just to fit him into a small trunk. They then become paranoid, as they might turn on each other.I'm hoping for it to be appropriately shit. Or maybe I'll be surprised and it'll be good, like Joy Ride.
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...I got 2 more tonight, bringing my total to a slightly less pitiful 15.The Incredible Hulk, which I still like. Not great cinema, but exactly the sort of big dumb fun I wanted from a Hulk film.Black Snake Moan, which was just okay, and not nearly as good as Hustle & Flow. It was nice see Samuel L Jackson doing some proper acting for a change, though.
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is that the one on freeview? This is REQUIRED watching. Dawson v giant squid?
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Jan 16, 2009 5:08:33 AM CST
Haven't seen Black Snake Moan or Hustle & Flow
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
But SLJ was good in Lakeview Terrace. The best performance of his I've seen in a long long time.
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unapolagetically. It also had the WORST marketing campaign ever. Totally misleading.
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They mostly show nothing but garbage, but they have the odd cheap and cheesy horror film now and then.Not too long back, they had Blood Monkey starring F Murray Abraham, which I wanted to see purely because Blood Monkey is such a great title, but I somehow missed it. I will not make the same mistake with Dawson Vs Squid.
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But that puts me on 26, with Videodrome, Dawson v Squid, Hard Rock Zombies and whatever shit is on TV on sunday, because I have to work tomorrow.
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Definitely not a bad film, but I liked Hustle & Flow so much my expectations for Craig Brewer's follow-up were probably a little too high.
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Jan 16, 2009 5:18:03 AM CST
Following that line of thinking...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
You guys ever seen the Romero flick Monkey Shines? About a quad who develops a telepathic relationship with his monkey and has it act out his psychotic wishes. I haven't seen that in probably 15 years. I might track that one down for this weekend as well.
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Not seen it since then, and I don't remember too much about it.Doesn't the guy end up fighting the monkey by biting it and swinging his head about? That is the one vague memory I have of Monkey Shines.
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There really should be more films where people fight monkeys.
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Jan 16, 2009 5:30:48 AM CST
I remember very little from it.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Time for a refresher
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The Faeces will fly!Summer 2010
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Jan 16, 2009 5:38:55 AM CST
It's Friday, so I demand a film about Hulk Monkeys!
by franklin t marmoset
Think about it - monkeys are funny, but they are also unreasonably vicious little buggers. If the army or possibly some sort of crazy scientist were to take an angry, finger-biting Macaque and give it Hulk powers, it would wreck the shit out of everything in its path. Hulk monkey could destroy the world!Not even Dawson would dare take on Hulk Monkey.
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Jan 16, 2009 5:43:09 AM CST
Hyde in League of Extraordinary Gentlemen...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
looked like a Hulk monkey. We all know how that turned out.
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Only just woke up.
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I've successfully blocked that film from my mind. I can't remember a thing about it, and I'm pretty confident that's a good thing.
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Some of us were up at 6 this morning so we could come into work and piss about on the internets!
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I'll have to do it again. Knackers.
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Hey, I sat through a bloody awful Italian film last night. I needed sleep.
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size of my Temp internet file. So I've deleted that as well.
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Get a job, sponging off us hard working types
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Somewhere where we can all see each others' lists and whatnot, keep track of who's winning and suchlike.I don't know if such a place exists, though.
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Fucking hell. Too much coffee and cake today.Getting all jittery.
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I can't even comment on my typos without making other typos.I need a break.
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Please, if I got a job I'd spend more time here than you guys do.
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That's probably true. Jobs are great for pissing away the time on AICN boards. Unfortunately my fucking job is not cooperating right now.
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I've come to the conclusion that Nic just wasn't out there enough. Mrs. Pillow, how hadn't seen it, found it enjoyable enough for what is was: silly ridiculousness. The best was when they had to "crack" the code from the back of the declaration of independence and then paid the little kid to run back and forth and give them the letters. Then Boromir just types the word "stow" and walla....in 3 seconds he knows the location. Doh!
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it's a cunt. Found that list. Feel much better.
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Wolverine? Seriously, I don't know anyone that's interested in it.
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Tsotsi was fucking great, so.....
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I am. It looks terrible.
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The sequel is better and much more insane.
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Can't really top kidnapping the president. Plus it involves the whole family in the lunacy.
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Absolutely boring shite populated by 'WTF am i doing in this piece of shit?' actors.The first one was watchable at best.
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Dawson versus Squid terrible
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USA USA USA!!! In your face Frankie, ya old bitch! Though let it be known that I'll be turning that same very age next month. Contrary to you feeling old, I feel pretty much the same. That may change after kid #2, which appears to be yet another girl.I'm slowly feeling like Custard as quickly I'm getting outnumbered.
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That's it, LEAVES the internets.
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Not sure I follow you since don't you love The Core? I mean, that was pretty boring if you think about it. Though I enjoyed that silliness as well.
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But Zed, which Internets must I leave?
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ALL OF THEM
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Jan 16, 2009 7:22:15 AM CST
I love the shit out of The Core
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
But liking one moronic movie (which IMO was a spoof of disaster films) doesn't mean you should like all moronic movies.eg. The Day After Tomorrow = Entertaining shit.10,000 BC = Boring shit.
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Jan 16, 2009 7:24:10 AM CST
I've been dismissed from the internets...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
because I think the National Treasure flicks are shit.Who woulda thunk it?
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as I'm a sprightly 30 I feel positively teenage compared to you fogies. Go stand next to some greenary and stop stealing our air. Fecking dinosaurs.
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I didn't really find The Day after Tomorrow entertaining, but it was less boring than 10,000 BC, which just baffles me. To this day, I don't know how he fucked that up. It was prime material to make a great goofy as shit movie, but nah, he had to try and go serious or whatever the fuck he was aiming for. Ridiculous.
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COME BACK TO THE INTERNETS.
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One. That's -17 degrees celsius for you English folk.
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loathe it. Complete rubbish. The only thing that could slightly save it would be snow zombies.
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I think it was the 'outrunning the freeze' bit that elevated it to entertaining. And Quaid.
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I agree. Baffling film. I fully expected the tiger to talk. And giant ostriches? Aliens building pyramids?It's stupifyingly awful and you actually feel dumber for watching it.
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This means that at least I'll have the decency to die young rather than sit pissing my last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats I spawned to replace myself. Choose Nicotine.
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it would be better if they were midget snow zombies.
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35 seemed alright to me, for some reason, but 36? 36 feels like I'm starting on the slippery slope toward incontinence, hairy ears, then death.I will be needing significantly more booze from here on out, I reckon. Time to get fat and possibly grow a beard.
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At least I don't have a fat sister. And I hope you freeze your left testicle today whilst going out for a smoke since you won't be needing it for brat spawning.
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I just recently grew a go-tee. I haven't gone the fat route, but perhaps I should.
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I want so badly to see it, by which I mean I want so badly for it to be a gloriously enjoyable pile of nonsense, but everyone keeps saying it doesn't even work on that level.How do you fuck that up? Pretty cave people fighting tigers and ostriches and suchlike? That should be brilliant.
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I don't know why I thought of it, but i'm going to add it to my list of movies to watch this weekend. Genius.I'm in for a weekend of entertainingly stupid films!
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It's a massive disappointment. Seriously, that still would be a bigger disappointment to me than if I felt The Dark Knight fell short of my expectations. I was expecting great enjoyable dumbness from 10,000 BC.That's prime for a remake with midgets and lots of nakedness.
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But I would consider it only a stepping stone toward full beard-hood. I think I would prefer to go the whole hairy-faced hog - something like Kurt Russell's magnificent beard in The Thing would be good. If it works out, I may also get a hat like his to go with it.It's all or nothing when it comes to beards for me.
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Jan 16, 2009 7:52:31 AM CST
I have a beard that looks a little like this one...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
http://tinyurl.com/8ryyap
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Who lets Droids backs ontos thes Internets?!?
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just go for a mustache, and it'll look like this...http://scifipedia.scifi.com/images/thumb/a/a1/Wilford-brimley.jpg/270px-Wilford-brimley.jpg
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How is everyone? Happy Birthday Frankie!
Actually, we can track our movies at IMDB. Just sign up over there and create a movies Ive seen 2009 list and there you go. Mori used to post his last on here last year, but I've never bothered doing it. I'm up to 27 movies, and the last two I watched were fantastic. My wife and I had a Peter Weir night and watched The Picnic at Hanging Rock and The Last Wave. Anyone here see those?
This weekend is bringing one of the largest film batches in awhile, but Ive got four days off so that will help.
The roster includes:
Night Train-the same one droid was talking about above. The positive upside is it seems to have been written and directed by the guy who wrote Cypher, a cool little sci-fi/hitchcockian film from 2002.
So, I'll hold out hope.
The Haunting of Molly Hartley-see last weekend's Unborn to know Im a sucker for horror films, especially the supernatural variety. Expect me to complain about this tuesday, but hope against hope is that it will be good.
The Red Baron-Yes, Im highly anticipating this one. Actually it's on the roster for today. Can't wait.
The Escapist-heist-esque thriller with Brian Cox in the lead and a nice supporting cast around him? Yes, please.
Adrift in Tokyo-I know very little about it now, but it looks interesting and potentially substantive. I'll get back to you on it afterwards.
Aliens- because it's been awhile, and if Im ever gonna get excited about what Cameron is doing with Avatar, I need to go back and look at the film I think is his top achievement. Cue Danny's moaning.
Chandni Chouk Goes to China-Im guessing it's either gonna totally rock, or just be unwatchable. Fingers are crossed.
Waltz with Bashir-expecting something solid. Guess we will see.
John Adams-gonna try to tackle the whole miniseries but don't know if I'll get through it. Really want to see this.
The Rocker-why not? I like Rain Wilson. And as you can see, this list lacks comedy.
The Wave-a german film about a professor that starts a social experiment within his students, and the results get out of hand. Don't rightly know what to expect.
Reflecting Skin-who has seen this? It's an older film, from 90s that I found after researching films similar in tone to Spirit of the Beehive and Picnic at Hanging Rock. It has a very bizarre synopsis and stars a young Viggo. I guess we will see. Anyone know of it?
We are having a dessert and movie night tommorrow night but no movies have been set in stone yet, so I'll have those as well. All of this among 4 days that will see my wife and I gone completely from the house and away from film altogether for most of 2 days. -
and I'm surprised that no-one commented on the brilliantly worked trainspotting reference. Also, I grew a mighty stache in november and looked like a complete bell-end. Anyway, it isn't my fault that my sister's fat.
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But I would prefer to have the type of beard that would ensure I'm properly equipped to fight shape-shifting aliens.You have to be prepared and whatnot.
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and become a trucker like Jack Burton. You'll be Jack Burton with a beard. You can call your truck the Gilmore Pussy Express.
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And I like that IMDB idea, too. I'm off over there now to try it out.
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I got some catching up to do. I've watched 4.
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good idea, Jonah. I should pass 30 by Monday.
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I'll have to try the IMDB thing another time. You need to acces your e-mail to sign up, and Yahoo Mail is blocked at work.Stupid work, interfering with me pissing about on the internets.
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I'll upload the list when I watch Zack and Miri...
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Jan 16, 2009 8:28:59 AM CST
Most anticipated movie of the year
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
The Ghosts of Girlfriends PastA womanizer (Matthew McConaughey) is haunted by the ghosts of his former girlfriends at his younger brother's (Breckin Meyer) wedding. The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (Emma Stone), Present (Noureen DeWulf), and Future take him on a journey through his romantic history (à la Ebenezer Scrooge) to help him come to a realization about his ways with women.Booyah!
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that they might be able to save me from, or perhaps suggest better alternatives?
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I'm just going to keep a list. I started, but it's a pain to search them all and add 1 by 1
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Jan 16, 2009 8:41:28 AM CST
I thought we could have put something on The Zone
by franklin t marmoset
But The Zone is a fucking nightmare. It makes these uber-long Twitch threads look lightweight and fast loading by comparison.Why the fuck do people feel the need to stuff their posts in places like that with endless fancy avatars and animated doohickeys and whatnot? It looks like the internet has vomited on your computer and it takes a fucking age to load.
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but me thinks it will not be updated again by pillow. Pillow has a list here at work, so pillow thinks he'll just keep adding to that list.
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Man, that sounds hilariously bad.
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am I being stupid? but I can't find a way to just upload a list. Fuck that.
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Hate it.
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...that on a Friday, a day when talking crap on the internets is especially important, a day that should really belong to the Changian ideology, we are losing to a fucking Crank 2 thread.Crank 2!If we were losing to Transformers fans, I would understand. Those fuckers are nuts. But Crank fucking 2?What in blue blazes is happening?
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Jan 16, 2009 9:01:23 AM CST
The wrath of Laroz did cometh.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
That's the answer/
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That is exactly the kind of mind I imagine is behind Crank. In fact, I would not be surprised if Laraz is actually those Neveldine and Taylor guys.Also, the part where he suggested Vern was best friends with Judy Dench and Emma Thompson was very funny. Or, at least, me imagining what an evening with those three might be like is very funny. Are Judy Dench and Emma Thompson Steven Seagal fans?
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there it is. I suppose for all who are on z-dive, we could just start a thread there and pst them?
http://www.imdb.com/mymovies/list -
Yeah I called him on that. He was giving shit to anyone who doesn't like Crank, calling them pussies and queers, then pulls out the "Shakespeare in Love is a good film" line. I laughed out loud at that. He got quote of the day.
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fuck IMDB. Fuck it in the ass. And I can't get on zhura again, I seem to go months without being able to get on, which is pissing me off, because I made progress over the 3 weeks I had off.
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is a good film. It's full of nice touches like Webster torturing rats.
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(even that name makes me want to flush his head in the loo), thinks that AICN makes a difference to Hollywood. What a conceited fool
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Jan 16, 2009 9:33:46 AM CST
Shakespeare in Love is fucking awful
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
A smarmy love-letter to its own cleverness.I'd like to punch all involved in their respective genitals.
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have led to more midgets getting work.And until Astro-lesbos vs. Werewolves on the Moon gets made, I have my doubts that Hollywood listens to these boards.
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but there's still some fucking great touches in it.
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I asked for that Hulk Monkeys film several hours ago and I've yet to read anywhere that Kurt Russell has been cast in an important role. Kurt Russel is a natural choice to play 'guy who fights Hulk Monkeys'.It's like they don't even care what I want!
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as mad scientist that commands the huked ut simians. Hollywood- make it happen!
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they are working on samurai monkeys vs. zombie midgets for me.
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and we'll go a totally different route, and have Ang Lee direct! It'll be great.
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must happen. Obviously this is the most awesomest thing ever. Talking about sky 3 movies, I saw a dreadful one with Jason Mewes v Werewolves ages ago that made me want to kill him
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No. Nolte. No. Bad pillows.
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Jan 16, 2009 10:01:38 AM CST
The ultimate flick would be called...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Hulk Monkeys vs. Zombie Midgets vs Astro-lesbos vs. Werewolves on the MoonThink of the possibilities!
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the best thing in Ang Lee's Hulk? I think with his guidance, something 'magical' would occur in a hulked out monkey movie.
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and Lee. Fuck, that movie sucks.I must apologize Jarv, for even in jest that's a despicable thing to say.
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performing some sort of shoddy Actor's studio bilge. That's too horrifying for words. "BUT YOU WERE MY PET! NOW SHOOOOOOW ME YOUR RAGE"
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Ang Lee would find a way to turn a solid gold concept like angry, muscular, super-powered apes into a dreary bucket of slop that is only appealing to the intellectually insecure.No, Ang Lee, that's a bad Ang Lee!Once again, this is obviously a job for Renny Harlin. Renny Harlin would never watch three episodes of Dr Phil and then try to stuff Hulk Monkeys with a bunch of trite daddy issues-related guff! Renny Harlin would never do that.
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CHANDI CHOWK TO CHINA??? Its actually showing here this weekend. You think AICN will give any mention to Outlander coming out?
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"dreary bucket of slop that is only appealing to the intellectually insecure." Fantastic. That's so apt. I wish I'd thought of it.
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I tried to look at Jonah's list and it brought me to my own list which for some reason has Stella and Jingle All the Way on it????? WTF?
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we need to make the lists public, and then post the link. Let me try that.
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I asked Ask.com this very simple question: "Where on the internets can the Church Of Chang keep a list of all the films they've seen in 2009?" and it offered no useful suggestions whatsoever.Weird.If this internet cannot even answer an easy question like that, maybe it's not as great as it's cracked up to be.
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Oh fuck this.
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...the Church Of Spiritual Humanism (which sounds entirely legitimate) is offering free online ordination.Maybe the clergy have access to some sort of site for lists of stupid shit and whatnot, I don't know.
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we're taking avbout Hulked out monkeys and Nolte ruining it
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we're taking about Hulked out monkeys and Nolte ruining it
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we're talking about Hulked out monkeys and Nolte ruining it
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I tried to find a new way of bashing Ang Lee's Hulk, but - you're right - it's still the same old argument.Next up, a discussion about whether Kenneth Branagh will be any good as Ben Kenobi in Star Wars Episode I.
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I kept trying to correct typo's and look what happened
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make the list, make it public, and then you will be given a link. Lets try this and see what happens. Check it out guys.
http://www.imdb.com/mymovies/list?l=40311996 -
but I'm in tomorrow so see you then
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...credit card verification horse shit to make a login for IMDB?
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Adrift in Tokyo. It's quite a good little film, and a real surprise. A no account college student has a debt he can't pay, and when the debt collector comes for the money, the collector offers him a million yen if he will walk with him to a specific destination. No other details are really provided, and the reason isn't given, nor is the specificity of how long it will take. What follows is a really nice, beautifully photographed quirky little journey through the city. I daresay, though, that this is good quirky and not bad quirky. It's not pushing too hard, and the whole thing unfolds very organically. I am thinking this is another film that will grow in light of subsequent viewings. Quite a good way to start out the weekend movie fest. HOD, if you are reading, add this to your must see list, if you haven't already.
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I'm off to celebrate my birthday with a four day drunkening that will include my bearing witness to a magnificient, Vanderbeekian squid-fighting beard.Can't be bad.See you next Wednesday.
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I'm off to celebrate my birthday with a four day drunkening that will include my bearing witness to a magnificent, Vanderbeekian squid-fighting beard.Can't be bad.See you next Wednesday.
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Score!
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That last post with the beard in the squid? Does that mean you haven't shaved in awhile and you're going down on a chick with a big pussy?
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The Avengers has little chance of being better.
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How's it going?
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Was it something I said? Hee hee.
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If you catch Chandni Chowk to China before me let me know if its good. And vice versa, but I'm sure if I got money to see it this weekend.
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I quite liked it. Very funny and thought it had some nice tension. Plus I really really hated Renee Zelwigger. Don't know why that was such a plus for me, but I got sick pleasure out of hating her.
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It's the annoying squinty eyes and reedy sounding voice, that's why you took pleasure in hating her. I know that's why I dislike her.As far as Appaloosa goes, I don't know I haven't seen it.
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How goes it? I'm taking off for work now but I wanted to make sure you got my message.
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"I'd take pleasure in gutting you...boy"
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It was more Rene Zellwigger's character that bothered me than her acting.
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Unforgiven?
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What a gem that was. But how much better would it have been if Clint Eastwood had said that line.
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I wasn't a big fan. That movie annoyed me to no end.
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Actually, it's from The Rock. Con Air had the much better line "Put... the bunny... down."
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That line was NOT from that video I made that really wild weekend way back when. Honestly, it wasn't...
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Tired from writing a script, but trying to write a Zack and Miri review. Long and short, it's just good enough that I didn't demand a refund.
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For the second time. Me lady friend kept falling asleep!!! Same thing happened for The Fall? I don't get it sometimes. But anyways, besides being the best film of summer (not my favorite) the elemental scene should have been the ending to the Happening. And if the worst movie probably ever The Golden Coke Cola Commercial Compass can beat Transformers for best special effects, Hellboy should take away a bunch of Oscars. Come on it needs the love a lot more then TDK, and the costumes, make up and special effects are unbelievable. Let TDK get sound effects and sound effects editing crap. The fucking attention to detail in that movie is ridiculous. Also I am willing to put the final sword fight above most of the stuff I've seen coming out of Asia. I'm sorry the a chubby geeky Mexican can stage and film a much better sword fight then people who've spent their entire lives staging sword fights. I think the main reason that it was such a good fight was that it was not entirely too long and that there wasn't like 200 sword fights wearing you down before the final.
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The Prince Nuada guy is going to be Steve Fox in the Tekken movie.
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It also got Shang Tsung, Gary Daniels and GoGo Yubari. The rest of the cast is mostly unknown. I'm just wondering who will play Kuma the bear and the boxing kangaroo, they absolutely need those in the movie.
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yeah, I know I'm the only one who liked that movie and I accept it. But it was visually great in every way. Transformers had was a bunch of robot that were well designed but looked like blurry shit during the battles. Fighting Polar Bears > Peeing Bumblebee.
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Whose playing that Lion looking motherfucker?
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Were amazing back in the early 90's when they were perfected by Coke Cola.
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Xiphos has let me put me post one of his stories up at www.mymavra.com For anyone who hasn't seen it before (those not on the other group site), this is a really excellent story. Check it out!
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Your watching the Escapist and Die Welle this weekend!!!! SOME of us around here having been sitting on their hands patiently awaiting them to come out on the DVDs (namely meself). So you better give us the Echo Tuesday Morning Roundup. Sorry I woke up to find a big ass spider crawling on me and the other day I had all this weird shit happen to my body so I trying to find out what kind of spider it was.
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Now I really want to read Transmetropolitan and Freak Angles, but aint got no money to buy them. Again I ask are you reading No Heroes? Same guy.
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this TB is a pain in the fucking ass so I am locating another one until we get a new Twitch. I think the Dead Snow at Sundance one sounds likely, but I will drop in with the one I am lurking in as soon as I find it.
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Yup, Dead Snow it is. That's the only one with Changian potential.
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TDK>>>>>>Hellboy 2. Sorry.
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Fucking bunch of delusion geeks "fox are nervous" "boycott, we have the poweeeer". Madness.
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