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More TALES OF AN ANCIENT EMPIRE Images!! + Further Casting Tidbits!!

Merrick here...
Some people are giddy that director Albert Pyun is undertaking his long ago promised follow-up to THE SWORD AND THE SORCER, called TALES OF AN ANCIENT EMPIRE. We've recived some nice mails from people ecstatic to see photos of this long-in-coming project. And, not surprisingly, others are bitching that we're devoting too much attention/site space to TALES here on AICN. Here's how I see it: whether you love or hate TALES (or simply don't care), Pyun & Co. are doing *exactly* what I (personally) wish every film maker would do with their movies: they're providing large quantities of media (including FX previz and a look at marketing materials in progress) to sites like ours for the fans to enjoy FROM THE OUTSET. They seem to be taking us along for the production journey. No coy hinting, no slick tap dancing & innuendo, no information manipulation like we've recently seen with larger scale projects. Just plain ol' "We're making a movie, here's some stuff to look at." Is this publicizing their film? Sure. But no more so than any sanctioned material that is systematically released by studios later in production/post production process. The difference here is timing: the TALES material came to us starting from Day 1 of filming...and is still coming in. Essentially, we're wathcing it being made. Wouldn't we have been orgasmic to have seen the same kind of consideration & material coming out of projects like IRON MAN, STAR TREK, the BAT films, etc.? It's my hope that this TALES material may entice other productions to adopt approaches/tactics similar to Pyun & Co. There's been some experimentation with the notion already (Danny Boyle's SUNSHINE being an example), but it would be awesome to see the idea pushed further. With all of this in mind, here's a new wave of material from TALES OF AN ANCIENT EMPIRE. You can find our first batch (HERE). Enjoy!

Here's a bevy of character teasers/filming announcements that pretty much speak for themselves.

BELOW: an FX test for an ocean sequence featured in the film (TALES has corsairs and asian pirates). This is from a South African FX house called Suspended Animation (website HERE ).

We've also fgotten word that the great Scott Paulin will appear in TALES as a "blind beggar vampire". Paulin was Deke SLayton iun THE RIGHT STUFF so that makes him cool beyond cool in my book. Jennifer Siebel has also joined the cast.
She's married to San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom, & you can find more of her extensive credits HERE. Finally, if you're on the "many projects should never be PG-13" bandwagon (as I am), you may be happy to hear that TALES is being described as "balls out R rated film".

Readers Talkback
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  • Jan. 7, 2009, 10:15 a.m. CST

    speaking of EMPIRES


    empire magazine has a cool new Minutemen feature up, i saw it on <P>that said, the girl in the banner art, is she going to be completely CG? because that's what she looks like

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 10:15 a.m. CST

    I'm not sure

    by kwisatzhaderach

    big studio films should provide publicity material for the fans from the start of shooting. I quite like the approach that Avatar is taking, saving the surprises for the movie theater. Too often I sit down to watch a film and feel like I have already seen it, or at least, have seen too much of it.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 10:17 a.m. CST

    This looks crappy!

    by PietjePuk

    Don't think I will watch this, looks like something Uwe Boll would make.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 10:22 a.m. CST

    bloody menstral soft core porn

    by ArcadianDS

    seriously, are chicks drizzled with blood supposed to be hot or something?

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 10:23 a.m. CST

    ... but in a good way?

    by Animation

    Sometimes crappy cheeze is just what the doctor ordered. I kinda miss the guilty pleasures of cheesy low budget fantasy and sci fi movies from the 80s. Perhaps this is a return to form.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 10:25 a.m. CST

    why do they have to always CGify water now?...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...real water is cool.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 10:25 a.m. CST

    Well, those first two shots look right

    by Movietool

    They definitely remind me of some of the "one-color" lighting that made the final cave fight in TSatS so appealing (in addition, of course, to swords that spark like arc welders when they touch each other).

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 10:25 a.m. CST

    Yeah this needs a sequel

    by beetlegeuse

    It's from 1982 and is about a shirtless mercenary with a threebladed sword, who discovers his royal heritage. So its like shitty ROTK. This should go straight to late night sci-fi channel.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 10:26 a.m. CST

    ...after three or four drinks I'd watch the shit...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...right out of this. I'd watch it's brains out.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 10:29 a.m. CST

    Animation gets it

    by Movietool

    We haven't had a great T&A blood soaked fantasy movie in forever. This movie will probably suck, but in the best of ways. God willing it will make a mint on DVD and we'll get two or three years of awsome R-rated sword & sorcery straight-to-video send ups. If even one of them is good it'll be worth it.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 10:29 a.m. CST

    Yep, still looks awful

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    I think it looks too shitty to merit reporting on, really.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 10:32 a.m. CST

    ...Alana Rajan look exactly the same. Exactly.

    by FlickaPoo

    ...sit back and marvel at my attention to detail.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 10:32 a.m. CST

    I really don't know what to think about this

    by slone13

    Honestly, I thought I could click on nearly any article on Ain't It Cool and have at least a remote knowledge of whatever the topic was, but I am ashamned to admit that this time I have absolutely no clue as to what any of this Sword/Sorcerer or Ancient Empire stuff is. It doesn't look particularly interesting, either.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 10:39 a.m. CST

    I keep imagining Cheech in Ghostbusters II.

    by Orionsangels

    When the ghostly Titanic arrives. "Well, better late than never."

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 10:39 a.m. CST

    I will love this movie

    by Gwlush

    Shitty movies, bad CGI with an extra topping of Kevin Sorbo makes me want to fuck a nightstand.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 10:40 a.m. CST

    Keeeeeeeviiiin Sooooorboooo

    by GetEveryone

    ...kevin sorbo, sweet.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 10:42 a.m. CST

    That is one Ancient Empire with some

    by kabong

    good-looking Sword Chicks. <P> If I ever become Lord of an Ancient Empire, I'm going to have legions of Sword Chicks like them. <P> See if I don't!

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 10:52 a.m. CST

    Never saw the original...

    by enderandrew

    ...and apparently the original never got a DVD release. It couldn't have been the big of a film.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 10:53 a.m. CST

    Is this a...

    by medicinaluser

    Dtv Movie? <BR><BR> I feel it giving of a very strong vibe, that with a little bit of Uwe Boll thrown in for good measure.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 10:54 a.m. CST

    Its safe to say

    by Movietool

    That if you don't already know The Sword and the Sorcerer, you're not going to dig this movie in the least. Pyun's track record does not inspire confidence. <p>If, however, The Sword and the Sorcerer played a significant role in defining your love of fantasy movies, as it did for me, you'll give it a chance no matter how crappy it may turn out.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 10:58 a.m. CST


    by spud mcspud

    Behold the franchise-killing power of Kevin "Connery never changes his acent so why the fuck should I?" Sorbo!<P> Marvel as this movie resembles the bag of steaming dicks that was KULL THE CONQUEROR!<P> Shatter any illusions that this will be in any way a worthy successor to the legendary, the awesome, the spectacular THE SWORD AND THE SORCEROR!<P> I'm just trying to lower my expectations. That way, no matter how shitty this turns out, I'll enjoy it a little bit. Though give me some hot woman-on-woman weapons action (see the ancient Egyptian fight between teh hotness Rachel Weisz and teh exotic hotness Patricia Velasquez in THE MUMMY RETURNS) and I'm happy, no matter how much Kevin Sorbo balls have to be rested on my metaphorical forehead.<P> Rejoice! BEHOLD!!!

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 10:59 a.m. CST

    I Love S&tS!

    by captaincosmos

    I saw Sword & the Sorcerer opening weekend with my Uncle waaaay back in 82. We fuckin' loved it! I've seen it many a time on cable over the years and love it just as much every time I've watched it. Man, what's-her-name (Katherine Beller) totally gave me wood in the scene where they're oiling her down for the evil King. And I loves me some Lee Horsely! Faithfully watched Matt Houston as a little tike and thought he was absolutely terrific in Sword, in a completely campy, B-Movie way. But let's face it, that movie was lightning in a bottle. Everyone seemed to be having tons of fun and going balls out. It was unabashedly gratuitous, both in its violence and it's nudity. It's an absolutely lecherous movie---and I love that about it. As far as Tales goes... I'm just tickled that Pyun's actually pulling it off after all these years. My first reaction to Sorbo was to cringe, but then again, he's got the same cut-rate TV pedigree that Horsely had, so why hold that against him? Although, Horsely had undeniable charisma, and Sorbo's got about as much gravitas as a pinata filled with styrafoam packing peanuts. Basically, I'm psyched it's being made, and will check it out in whatever form it materializes in (DVD, SciFi Channel or--dare we hope?--theatrical release), but I'm not gonna hold my breathe that it won't suck. I'll hope to be pleasantly surprised, but for now, just happy to hear that it's being made (I still remember seeing the teaser at the end of Sword promising this movie and at the time COULD NOT WAIT to see it). And I totallly agree with Merrick--it's awesome that Pyun & Co. are putting out all this early production stuff. Very savvy of 'em. I know I appreciate it.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 11 a.m. CST

    Oh come on.

    by Zarles

    You've gotta be kidding me with this crap. Uwe Boll himself is probably pissing his pants laughing at this bullshit.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 11:01 a.m. CST

    Kevin Sorbo= straight to DVD

    by DoctorWho?


  • Jan. 7, 2009, 11:08 a.m. CST

    How can this help but be cool in some fashion or other?

    by DrAstroZoom

    Respect the Sorbo.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 11:14 a.m. CST

    I want Lee Horsley, practical gore and boobies!!

    by Mr Nicholas

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 11:15 a.m. CST

    I loved SUNSHINE, great SF movie. Great ending

    by Stormwatcher

    Yup, not perfect but damn men what is? Love that movie.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 11:15 a.m. CST

    That effect's house's showreel looks godawful for a movie

    by bullet3

    95% of what they've done look to be cartoony cgi work in advertisements. The few full motion video compositing examples that are shown look laughable, like, something that's still previz. Suffice it to say, I'm not expecting much in the way of convincing cg work in this movie.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 11:19 a.m. CST

    God, what's up with all the pictures all of a sudden?

    by SkidMarkedUndies

    Don't have to flood all the posts with pics. too much is never a good thing.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 11:21 a.m. CST

    It'd be nice if I could watch the original film somehow

    by VAwitch

    Apparently neither Blockbuster, nor Netflix carry S&tS... and it's $44+ on<P><P> Can anyone point in the direction of an online stream? Pay-per-view is fine.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 11:25 a.m. CST

    Janelle Taylor is Rajan!! Inbar Levi is Alana!!

    by skimn

    Zack Norman as Sammy in Chief Zabu!!<p>Why do these photoshopped mock-ups look like inserts for Variety to drum up production money? And too bad Kevin Sorbo is forever pidgeonholed by Hercules. He actually is a good light comedian in some sitcom work he's done.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 11:27 a.m. CST


    by rassmguy

    I can't imagine why anyone would complain about you covering the making of a film on this site. That sort of coverage belongs here, and I'm glad you're covering it. It's the coverage of SNL, Survivor and other TV shows that doesn't belong here--that I can see people complaining about. But this? No way.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 11:27 a.m. CST

    i think they whipped these up last night


    after reading some of the few but strong positive talkbacks after the first post. so these promos are just for you hardcore geeks.<P>but seriously, this looks worse than FIRST SEASON hercules/xena action pack quality

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 11:41 a.m. CST

    Does anyone really

    by palpatinefuckedmydog

    care about this beside a handful of geeks?Come on Sword and the Sorcerer was a terrible movie...along with a slew of horrible horrible similar flicks that came out at the time. Barbarian brothers anyone?

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 11:42 a.m. CST

    Scott Paulin

    by Munro Kelly

    Scott Paulin played The Red Skull in Pyun's Captain America.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 11:43 a.m. CST

    Inbar Levi as Alana

    by kabong

    Reminds me of "Five-O" with Zulu as Kono.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 11:48 a.m. CST

    fortunately for us

    by readyoufool

    kevin sorbo virtually guarantees a quality film. I think "quality film" is actually his middle name.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 11:53 a.m. CST

    Harry, Answer Me PLEASE!

    by SamuelLappDance

    Is Lee Horsley in this movie AT ALL?!?! Do you have info whatsoever??? Thanks for posting what you have so far. The first one hit when I was 12. The hot chick getting her tongue cut out freaked me. But man did I get to see some breasts!

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 11:55 a.m. CST

    Yeah, I dont know if I can share Harry's enthusiasm...

    by m_reporter

    ... this still looks like a Hallmark production to me.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 11:57 a.m. CST


    by skimn

    Ex-fucking-actly!! This is like tossing airline bottles of vodka out at an AA meeting. I would estimate that 98.93% of the movie going public have never heard of The Sword And The Sorcerer.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 12:10 p.m. CST

    The Bat Films are a different story

    by most excellent ninja

    Nolan doesn't like showing anyone anything and I get it. I don't think it should be for every movie, but for the Bat Films, the less you know the better, the more blown away you are when they come out.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 12:13 p.m. CST


    by Movietool

    Aren't there any movies you love based mostly on the fact that you saw them when you were really young and loved them then? TS&tS is no Citizen Kane, granted, but it's still a hell of a fun movie.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 12:22 p.m. CST

    I hope it's not "balls out"

    by DarthChimay

    I'd much prefer it to be "tits out."

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 12:28 p.m. CST

    Movietool - Bad movie we loved from childhood

    by spud mcspud

    I could fill a UK mid-to-late-80s video shop with the Crap Movies I Loved From My Childhood. Problem is, currently, I'm filling up my spare room and attic with said collection. Need bigger house, pronto...

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 12:32 p.m. CST

    Let me get this straight...

    by Blue_Demon

    some of you geniuses can tell this movie sucks just by a few stills, most of them just shots of the actors? Get real.<p>Movietool is right. There are some movies that just hit you at the right time. Are they great? No, but they are fun.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 12:32 p.m. CST


    by Kaiser Soze

    I rented it from Hollywood Video last night because of all this talk about it on AICN, and I only vaguely remembered it. It had some nice moments, and lots of gratuitously topless chicks and hilariously bad "my sword rises to greet you, fair maiden" innuendo, but also some very bad special effects whenever that three bladed sword would fire. It was okay for an old school cheesefest, but I'm surprised that someone in Hollywood greenlit a sequel. But you can probably find it in most rental stores. Lee Horsley was cool as Talon, though, but definitely a B (or C) movie if I ever saw one.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 12:36 p.m. CST

    Bad movie I absolutely adore:

    by Blue_Demon

    Beastmaster!<p>That sword! The black tiger! Tanya Roberts! I still remember her Playboy layout from that film from back in the day. Ah...youth.<p>Something about movies with more imagination than cash that really hits home with me.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 12:38 p.m. CST


    by neoaddix

    Is this piece of trash being pimped so much on AICN?

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 12:50 p.m. CST


    by Le Phantom

    If Kevin Sorbo is in it, it will be a made for DVD piece of shit! Come on...Why not get Hasslehoff to be in it to give the project gravitas!

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 12:55 p.m. CST

    Here's What I Don't Get...

    by Brians Life

    ....we shit on Uwe Boll, and Anderson, and McG and even Bay (and right fully so).<br><br>How does this hack Pyun get a pass? They ALL make bad movies!?!<br><br>When was the last time you watched Sword and the Sorcerer? It's crap when you're not 9 years old.<br><br>I've worked for most of the directors I've listed above at some point and they ALL want to be respected and famous.<br><br>Pyun is not some special exception because he KNOWS he makes horrible movies.<br><br>If you make bad movies, you're a bad director. Period.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 12:58 p.m. CST

    This movie WILL go Direct To DVD

    by Brians Life

    that's Pyun's deal now. Get an Israeli investor who knows he'll make a few points.<br><br>Spend a bit of money on talent and pay your crew absolutely dick!<br><br>In the end, everybody's happy EXCEPT for the idealistic group that thought "we were all in this together".<br><br>I'd be very surprised if this saw ANY theatrical release.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 12:58 p.m. CST

    Always surprising...

    by GoDFaDDa42

    It's always suprising to me that so many fantasy kingdoms set in an ancient time had plenty of giant fake plastic tits. I know it was said on the other thread, but most of those girls look like gonzo-level porn stars.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 1:10 p.m. CST

    Kevin Sorbo in Indiana...

    by EriamJH

    ...cheapo budget shlockfest filmed in a cave. A real cave, no ST:OS styrofoam rocks mind you... but he would do anything for a check.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 1:21 p.m. CST

    This is completely unrelated, but did anybody went to...

    by DerLanghaarige and read anything else than Mori's new column? Damn, that's one boring ass news site. But it's new, so I won't be too harsh on it yet.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 1:24 p.m. CST

    We had better see penile vaginal penetration in this

    by Damien Chowder

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 1:35 p.m. CST

    I don't get it...

    by Circean6

    S&S was about a mercenary band worthy of Tarantino's id. Yet all I am seeing here are posters of marginal D&D booth babes..Where are the goddam shooting swords and demonic wizards who can make beating hearts fly across the room??

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 1:49 p.m. CST

    Does anyone really want to see this trash?

    by ScottinDC

    It stars Kevin Sorbo for the love of God! It's going to be a direct-to-DVD disaster clearly. The guy can't act and this film is filled with nobodies. I'm not sure how this is even news.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 1:52 p.m. CST

    Seriously people.. this has to be a porn movie.

    by StarQrtrs

    How can it not be porn... if you took Kevin Sorbo of the pics then maybe it would be a for sure thing.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 1:55 p.m. CST

    Gonzo Porn Stars ...

    by Animation

    GoDFaDDa42,<br /><br /> "most of those girls look like gonzo-level porn stars."<br /><br /> Hence the appeal!

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 2:16 p.m. CST

    Americans are such morons

    by Ray Gamma

    I always laugh at these horribly cheap American TV series' where attractive blonde d-list 'actors' and 'actresses' with modern Californian hairstyles (and costumes that look like they were stolen from an eighties pop video) stand around a Hollywood warehouse backlot that has been dressed to resemble a Mediaeval village somewhere in Europe, whilst flexing their fake-tanned muscles, and through their perfect white veneered teeth they utter classic bogus-middle-ages lines such as "we are but a simple people", spoken in a clear Los Angeles accent.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 2:24 p.m. CST

    Anyone remember Deathstalker?...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...filmed in someones back yard with rubber masks?...and the hero gets to rescue washed up and tied up topless ex Playboy Bunnies from a cardboard dungeon?!!.....pre-internet twelve year old boys everywhere made some hay with that one I tell you.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 2:28 p.m. CST

    Sunshine most underrated sci-fi movie of all time

    by MattmanReturns

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 2:31 p.m. CST

    Ray Gamma

    by MattmanReturns

    Americans aren't the only morons. Have you seen BBC's Robin Hood? Where the main character wears a hoodie? And here's a newsflash for you, people in the middle ages didn't speak with modern british accents. They spoke Old English, which no one today would understand.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 2:41 p.m. CST

    I thought SUNSHINE fell apart at the end...

    by Brians Life

    I loved the first hour of the film. You could say I was even awe stricken at moments.<br><br>I felt like the movie quickly de-evolved into a B-slasher on a spaceship movie. The big ideas tanked and the entire notion of the sun as an anology for God quickly vanished in the face of this very un-dramatic killer. Meh.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 2:54 p.m. CST

    Don't know why we're talking about SUNSHINE, but...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...that movie left me in a melancholy but pleasant existential trance for it.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 3:02 p.m. CST

    I second the call for no fake boobs,

    by Movietool

    but where the hell would you get the women nowadays? In LA the women with real boobs are the EXCEPTION. You'd have to cast this thing in Topeka - and even then I'm not so sure . . .

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 3:17 p.m. CST

    reminds me of something i saw on MST3000


    maybe it was deathstalker...or cavepeople, or was so bad that one of the medieval baddies in the background forgot to take off his sunglasses in a few shots, and whenever the 'hero' was riding his horse in the hills you could totally see car/fourwheeler paths cut into the landscape

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 3:19 p.m. CST

    know what i want to see?


    a movie of the NES games wizards and warriors 2: IRONSWORD- that had a pre-fame FABIO on the box. <P>

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 3:44 p.m. CST

    Sorbo should have kept Andromeda going

    by the milf lover

    Best sci-fi show ever. I miss my weekly dose of Lexa Doig...

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 3:46 p.m. CST

    the movie's title


    i'm sorry but doesn't it just REEK of the boll masterpiece <P>in the name of the king:a dungeon siege tale?

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 4 p.m. CST

    If those chicks

    by Abominable Snowcone

    started making out with each other and getting into some heavy petting, I might rent it.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 4:12 p.m. CST

    B movies these days try to be all classy and presentable...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...sadly, there's no way this will go for gore and booby broke as nature intended. Society is supposedly on a one way strap-on ride to hell but I can't see how that's possible with the tame and flaccid state of B movies these days...

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 4:23 p.m. CST

    Oh! Hercules is doing another movie

    by Datascream

    playing as Hercules with a different name. Hurry for the Australian Fabio! God I can't stand this guy. Seriously who gives this guy movies anymore? Were they just trying to go cheap on talent to afford cheap women?

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 4:45 p.m. CST

    To really screw this movie, they should

    by kabong

    shoot it in Italian, then get a drunk to dub it. <P> Go for the midnight cult circuit.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 5:19 p.m. CST

    I'd rather just watch Deathstalker II again.

    by Flim Springfield

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 5:37 p.m. CST

    is it DTV?

    by Power_Girl

    Looks it.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 6:47 p.m. CST

    This movie isn't going to theaters...

    by Gungan Slayer

    This is straight to Sci-Fi Channel material in the making. Every aspect of this production hints towards this skipping theaters. I don't see how people are getting excited about this project, it just looks like another generic fantasy film that plays Saturday nights on Sci-Fi. Not that that's a bad thing, lol

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 8:49 p.m. CST

    Sometimes you want Resturant Food

    by ComputerwizardPK

    And sometimes you want Burger King. Their is plenty of room for dumb Sword and Sorcery flicks along side Citizen Kane, the Godfather and the Titanic. So hell yeah, I'm keen to see this (I'll even Pay to go the cinema). Then I'll buy on Dvd.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 9:10 p.m. CST

    Kevin Sorbo?! I'm there!

    by The Grug

    Hercules was awesome.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 9:22 p.m. CST

    Gungan Slayer nailed it...

    by MonkeyLord

    Kevin Sorbo in a highly anticipated theatrical release can only happen in a crazy, mirror universe where everyone has evil goatees, and dogs have humans for pets or something. I think I'll pass on this one...

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 11:17 p.m. CST

    I'M ALL FOR...

    by BurgerTime

    ...the odd leaked photo and tidbit of information, but this whole blog-the-shit out of a production giving everything away nonsense is sad. By the time you sit in the theatre, there's no mystery left. It's like going to a pick-up bar where all the girls are already naked. It's no fun taking one home and undressing her slowly 'cause you've already seen the show.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 11:17 p.m. CST

    I'M ALL FOR...

    by BurgerTime

    ...the odd leaked photo and tidbit of information, but this whole blog-the-shit out of a production giving everything away nonsense is sad. By the time you sit in the theatre, there's no mystery left. It's like going to a pick-up bar where all the girls are already naked. It's no fun taking one home and undressing her slowly 'cause you've already seen the show.

  • Jan. 8, 2009, 2:57 a.m. CST


    by Lost Jarv

    is fucking marvellous. <p>It's all so po-faced. It's fucking hysterical.

  • Jan. 8, 2009, 6:19 a.m. CST

    Sorbo's Kull...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...truly is awful. No weight whatsoever. While watching his scenes with Thomas Ian Griffith I can't escape the feeling that the latter is secretly thinking: "You stole my role, you fucking milksop. I hate your weak ass so much."

  • Jan. 8, 2009, 8:48 a.m. CST

    As suggested by earlier posters

    by skimn

    I found a copy of Sword at my local Blockbuster last night and thought "What the hell"..its been at least 25 years since seeing it last on cable.<p>And I found it almost just as enjoyable, as I did long ago. Yes it screamed low budget, and had grainy photography, but the key is Lee Horsley as Talon, played with just the right amount of Errol Flynn-like swagger, and a twinkle in his eye. The supporting cast is fun also. Hey look, there's '80s villian icon Richard Lynch. George Mathias plays the snake-in-the-grass so oily he shines, with the gayest Prince Valiant style wig. The balding guy from Murphy Brown is a comrade of Talon's, because you know, I'm sure the Middle Ages had room for a guy that looked like a low level office manager. Kathleen Beller had the prerequisite doe eyed/large bust/petite frame that dominated the '80s. And of course, Richard Moll under some decent latex work.<p>The plot had the standard elements of rebellion, a kingdom twarted, a forced marriage, an assasination plot, blah blah blah. The main thing again was Horsley. His light touch held the thing together.

  • Jan. 8, 2009, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Tales of Ancient Typecasting

    by mos6507

    Sorbo obviously knows what Hollywood thinks he's good for and is sticking by it.

  • Jan. 8, 2009, 2:55 p.m. CST

    Admittedly - Sorbo is no Horsley

    by Movietool

    Skimn, you nailed it - the original succeeds entirely due to Horsley's performance, which drips of "swagger" as you put it. Very few actors can pull it off. <p>Another problem is finding a guy who can not only walk balls-first into every room, but has a physique that looks realistic. Horsley was perfect - he was by no means buff, but he had heft, you know? You felt like if he punched you it would take your freaking head off. <p>Truthfully, Russel Crowe is the only modern actor who comes to mind who has both Gravitas and a real-man physique like Horsley. I wonder if he's ever do a fantasy flick.

  • Jan. 8, 2009, 9:04 p.m. CST


    by spud mcspud

    TALES OF AN ANCIENT VAMPIRE - THE RETURN OF JERRY DANDRIDGE!<P> You have to have faith for this sequel to work...

  • Jan. 8, 2009, 9:05 p.m. CST


    by spud mcspud

    The Life And Times Of Dickie Bird...<P> starring Lee Horsley :D

  • Jan. 8, 2009, 9:09 p.m. CST


    by spud mcspud

    Sorbo's KULL sucked donkey balls. Even that ending, which was word-for-word the ending to Kull's most famous short story (forgot the name of it) where it ends thus:<P> TU: But the Law!<P> KULL: I AM THE LAW!!! (Takes axe, shatters the stone tablets that contain the Law) By this axe I rule!!!<P> Did that iconic line "I am the Law!", which by the way was written back in the 19-fucking-20s!!!, get left out because some clueless studio fuckwit thought it was ripping off Judge Dredd or something?<P> Everyone involved in that movie just seemed to have no fucking clue what they were working on. Could have been the best barbarian movie since CONAN... especially if they'd got TIG to play Kull - he was at least fifty times more Howard's character than that fucking Californian Hercules twat will EVER be.<P> What a goddamned shame...

  • Jan. 8, 2009, 9:13 p.m. CST

    Lost Jarv

    by spud mcspud

    DEATHSTALKER and its sequel are in my MUST WATCH list, along with DOOMSDAY and DRAGON WARS, which the wonderful Mrs Spud got me (amongst tons of others) for Christmas. I haven't actually got round to watching THE DESCENT yet either. Is it me, or do I need a few beer-and-pizza weekends in catching up on my so-shit-it's-GREAT pile?<P> Any so-shit-it's-great recommendations from last year I ought to be considering? You do seem to be the authority on those movies thus far in this short-but-distinguished TB...

  • Jan. 9, 2009, 4:13 a.m. CST

    I happen to think that showing too much spoils a movie.

    by Knuckleduster

    This amount of exposure would have completely ruined The Dark Knight for me. I prefer not knowing until I see the film. But clearly these guys need the publicity and this is a good way of getting it. Good luck to them. Hope their movie's a good one.

  • Jan. 9, 2009, 8:49 a.m. CST

    Who's TIG?

    by Movietool


  • Jan. 9, 2009, 11:39 a.m. CST

    Thomas Ian Griffith perhaps

    by skimn


  • Jan. 9, 2009, 1:10 p.m. CST


    by brandon11

    this is not sarcastic. what is the appeal to this movie? i dont know anything of this project. is it some sort of cult thing involving sorbo? am i missing something or does it seem kind of cheesy/low budget?

  • Jan. 9, 2009, 1:58 p.m. CST

    TIG = Thomas Ian Griffith

    by spud mcspud

    So great a B-movie actor that he gets his own acronym