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CRANK 2: HIGH VOLTAGE Teaser Is Fast, Cheap And Out Of Control!!!
Beaks here...
It's also going to re-size your browser and blister your grandmother's eardrums, so, for god's sake, don't play this thing in mixed company.
Click here for the hand-held, digitally shot mayhem.
And do it soon, because I don't know if this is an official leak. Actually, I'm pretty sure this is the footage procured by IESB.net's Robert Sanchez for this year's "Masters of the Web" panel at Comic Con.
I think I like the no-frills look of the thing. I know I don't like the stale CHAPPELLE'S SHOW reference. Either way, it's wonderfully excessive. And it's still set for release on April 19, 2009. Bring it!
And Mike Patton's scoring this fucker!?!? 2009 is already laying the lumber to 2008!
I think I like the no-frills look of the thing. I know I don't like the stale CHAPPELLE'S SHOW reference. Either way, it's wonderfully excessive. And it's still set for release on April 19, 2009. Bring it!
And Mike Patton's scoring this fucker!?!? 2009 is already laying the lumber to 2008!
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i hate crank.
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Is Statham still in this shit? That fucking guy keeps getting work and I get laid off for the rest of the week in a trade much more valuable than that motherfuckin peice of shits efforts on screen.
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floating in my toilet bowel this morning. I flushed it. I suggest you do the same, as it will just stink up the place.
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Jason Statham jumping the shark.
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Hahaha... This shaky cam is not so cool though. First movie was just good fun. Hopefully second will be the same.
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The digital handheld makes it look like the craziest skate/porn video you ever saw. I'm kind of interested.
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LY
SHIT!!!
That looks like the stupidest most awesome movie ever!!!!!!!
Statham motherfucking RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
Dec 30, 2008 11:08:59 PM CST
you guys hating on this need to grow some fucking balls....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....have fun snoring through Forrest Gump 2....I mean Benjamin Button.
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Dec 30, 2008 11:10:42 PM CST
this was shot on Canon's XH-A1. A camera that cost 3 grand!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Fuck yeah!! That bloated turd Watchmen will never hit theaters, and this low budget fuck-fest will be raking in mounds of cash.
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If this movie was a dame I'd be hitting it. The first movie was crazy goofy fun.
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Dec 30, 2008 11:18:10 PM CST
Crank 2 will destroy Will Smith Oscar Bait films forever!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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if you're going to do it, go ahead and go all out. at least you won't be forgotten.
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They could have got a far more filmic look in the same price-range shooting with an HVX200 in 1080p mode. I'm sure they had the budget for that.... I'm not digging the look of the film. Looks like fun, but the cheapness really knocks it down a few notches. The first one was shot on HD I believe, and looked infinitely better. This teaser is probably before colour timing and post processing, so the end product will probably be better..... but still, disappointing. Really disappointing.
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looked like corey haim as the trailer park trash dude with the mullet hair.
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what the fuck?!
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Fact.
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Move CRANK 2 to March 6, 2009 *now*.
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Dec 30, 2008 11:32:49 PM CST
I'm pretty sure they weren't going for the "filmic" look
by kikuchiyoboy
Cause you can get it from the Canon too. But I concur that the HVX is an awesome camera. I wonder why they chose that option?
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they could also just play Midlife Crisis and, even more appropriately, Surprise! You're Dead!
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thanks.
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you just need a break from all this AICN "how perfect or how stupid a film is" shit and just have a fucking blast at the movies. i'm there. FUCKING CHELIOS!
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Dec 30, 2008 11:49:45 PM CST
obviously that didn't get a shit about the film look....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....they just went with a compact cheap ass camera they can beat the shit out of. I like how the film look is becoming less and less of a concern. And agreed, Panasonic cameras dominate.
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I think it was a good choice to go mini cam.
Still can give two shits about this film save for Amy Smart's naked booooteh. -
Now I'm truly torn...one of my favourite and most creative musicians of all time is scoring the sequel to a movie that was complete garbage.
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I never understood the Mike Patton love, he's generally been the worst part of everything he's been a part of ( from Faith No More to Tomahawk) He can't sing , his lyrics are trite , juvenile single entendre... i just don't get it !
This look like more cornball fun that will go good with bean dip I think. I guess they will say he survived because he was so juiced out of his mind when he hit the ground?
Not that logic matters in something like this. -
I loved every stupid, implausible, idiotic and immoral moment of that terrible, terrible movie. And it was a terrible movie. I'll check this one out too in hopes that it's just as terrible.
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It was different and went for it like no film has in quite some time. Those dudes said, fuck it, lets roll the dice and go balls to the wall w/ the pedal. Plus, Amy Smart is one fine piece of ass!
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Because making various zombie noises in Left 4 Dead don't pay too good. BTW, he came up with some sick nosies for them.
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Never a bad thing.
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He'll be the worst part of this "movie", too.
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You're only allowed to mention former Faith No More members in the Script Girl posts aka The Unofficial Faith No More Talkback.
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Go listen to the soundtrack for A Perfect Place.
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...For the best film of the year and the worst film of the year. Can't wait.
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Fuck Heat. I'll pick unrealistic mayhem every time.
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...Needs to listen to the EP he did with Dillinger Escape Plan. His vocals and lyrics on that are genius, and he really showcases his range. That, and he put out a record by one of my favorite bands, The Locust.
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I do Mark Kermode's impression in my head. Funny how he's the guy to have made it big from the Guy Ritchie set. Everyone thought Vinnie Jones was going to be the star at the time. Not only that, but Statham was banging Kelly Brook during her prime years. You have to respect that.
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You certainly fucking do! Lol.Why do I continue to both watch and enjoy Jason Stratham movies? I'm sure it must be a character flaw that I need to sort out. I even enjoyed "Death Race". My brain was screaming 'This is shit! It doesn't even make sense! What are you doing watching this?' whilst my eyes were screaming 'Jason Stratham in a big car blowing things up! Yaaaaay!'
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This is not necessarily a bad thing. Every day he wakes up, bangs a hot chick, compares said bang of said hot chick to the first time Kelly Brook sat on his face and wiggled like a spastic cobra, then he goes to work. Work, for Mr Statham largely consisting of swearing, roundhousing badasses, firing large guns, topless karate, movie-fucking starlets, diving in slow-motion from ridiculous explosions, and then going back to his trailer to take calls from Luc Besson, Sly Stallone, and that needy Bitch brook who keeps asking to come back to the Stathiverse. All while thumbing through his annotated and signed copy of SEAGALOGY by Vern. Frankly, long may Mr Statham continue to get away with it.
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jarek- the hvx is decent at best. the lcds on the monitor and the viewfinder are severely underpowered for the resolution its capable of. i'd rather shoot on something i can actually focus
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I am there.
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Dec 31, 2008 7:16:04 AM CST
I hope they can top the GUN-UP-THE-ASS scene from BAISE-MOI...
by godoffireinhell
...because, seriously, a gun discharged in a man's bowels should be SPECTACULAR. I find the scene in BAISE-MOI (and a similar scene in that BIBLE BLACK hentai anime porn) pretty goddamn anticlimaxtic.
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The Good, The Bad, The Weird already has topped that.
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yeah i'm a movie fan, and while i can exjy an oscer worthy film, i also look forward to just plain cheap entertainment..this looks like statham will make up for the less then steller transporter 3 (please if you make a T4, make it more like the second one and don't try to add a plot to a film that doesn't require one)
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This will be the official "best movie since crankk"!
Where is the Marley and Me review fatso? -
WOW LOVED IT!!!!!!! Total Troma love! Madness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Can "Lock, Stock & 3 Smoking Barrels" be too far behind? Statham and Vinnie Jones are a "gotcha asses planted" dynamic duo if ever there was one. Please, Guy... you have all that unfulfilled promise, absent for so long. Please do for gunfights & badass mayhem what Malick once did for nature shot-ridden, poorly-narrated tone poem pseudo art films. We shall all be the more fortunate.
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who the fuck watches this steaming pile of shit? Seriously. The first CRANK movie already was an insult to every action cinema lover.
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As shitty and silly as the first one was, you kinda got the feeling that somewhere deep down inside the director's black and poisoned heart that he believed he was making some shred of a serious action movie.
It looks like that has gone completely out the window.
Bring it on bitches. I'm marking it on my calendar. -
You know like an old camcorder, it always says it's like 1989 because you could never figure out how to set the clock.
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It seems like there could be some option other than "Oscar bait snoozefest" and incompetent horseshit made by moronic giggling fratboy pricks. The first one had such potential and some good ideas here and there but I had a big problem with the idiotic approach to filming and editing and for this one clearly they tried to take it to the next level of senseless unwatchability.
Don't get me wrong, I like the stupid premise and I think some day Jason Statham will be in a good movie. But I think it would be possible to make a movie like this and actually include something that passes for well crafted action sequences, etc. So fuck anybody (Danny Dickblood I'm looking at you) who thinks just making a movie that's not pretentious counts as doing a good job. I think the "choke a bitch" line combined with the shot of the directors saying "OOOOOOOOOHHHH THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!" pretty much says everything you need to know about these geniuses. -
I like that they had him survive the ten thousand mile plummet from the sky
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I, too, kinda liked the dumb premise of the first flick - but it was so horribly filmed and edited that I constantly felt like being kicked in the nuts for 85 minutes...
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this is the way to utilize Stathams best qualities!
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Is Pricey gonna have to choke a bitch?
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...STARSHIP TROOPERS!In every age...there is a cause worth fighting for.......but in the future......the greatest threat to our survival......will not be men at all!
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but the first crank was a fun ride, and if i'm entertained, i'm happy.
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It was different and went for it like no film has in quite some time. Those dudes said, fuck it, let's roll the dice and go balls to the wall w/ the pedal to the metal. Plus, Monica Bellucci is one fine piece of ass!
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and it looks REALLY BAD when put in that context. pays to proofread, boys and girls. think i'll go grab my wife and find my way to chinatown and have 'er up on a newspaper vending machine.
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Now THAT movie kicked all kinds of ass. All the audacious gunplay, massive doses of hate-everything from Clive Owen, and the sex scene with Bellucci... ooh yeah, gonna go get the wife and some guns and thugs and $#!# and go ape$#!#!!AND THUS, I LEAVE YOU NOW TO GET CAFFEIENE AND SEX! DATOMAN, THE WIRED GEEK! Happy New Year, y'all.
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But this looks frakin amazing! I can't wait!
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Both a fun, but Crank just "got" it better.
Oh and Jenna Haze is in this one too. -
I don't like all shit movies. I'm actually very particular with the shit I consume. I never acted like anything not pretentious and Oscar-Baiting is automatically good shit. But I will say I'm 98.9423424% sure that anything involving action with Jason Statham is automatically some pretty tasty shit no matter how outlandish. And the insane video look really has me jazzed for some reason. Its no more of a cheap gimmick than Snyder's "Everything meaningful happens slowly" bullshit. -
I do agree with the "Choke a bitch" line. That was the dumbest shit I've ever heard. I can't fucking stand dumb fucks dropping quotes from that show and thinking it automatically makes it work just well as the original usage. But I liked the directors cheering. It sorta reminded me of that Indiana Jones Last Crusade teaser with Harrison stapling the hat on his head and Spielberg clapping and saying that take was great! Awwwww those were the days. Before the mention of Indiana Jones made me feel uncomfortable.
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Seriously, it does. The women get treated like shit in this. I bet Amy Smart is a giant crackhead.
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Dec 31, 2008 12:10:08 PM CST
Obviously you've never seen a film by Dr. Boll....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....it looks nothing fucking like anything he would shoot. Does it also look just like a Hitchcock film? Because he treated women like shit in almost everything he did as well.
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..evar
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period.
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i don't care who hates this movie, i'm going to see it, so feel free to hate on me. that was a 100-can red bull enema with a jolt cola chaser while standing in a tub of electric eels in a lightning storm! it's so over the top, i don't care how bad anyone thinks it is!
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All Statham. All the time.
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Nearly got fired just now. Thanks a lot, AICN.
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Dec 31, 2008 1:56:52 PM CST
Stuntcock is the only one round these parts....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....with taste anymore.
Cunts. -
It states right at the beginning of the article that it's not fit for mixed company. How much of a warning do you need. You need to change your screen name. You're obviously not the smartest man in the world.
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hehehe. I LOVE THE SURPRISE!
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Dec 31, 2008 2:58:36 PM CST
Statham and Seagal in 7Fast 7Furious: Antarctica Drift
by stuntcock mike
Fucking your eyeballs and soul in 2010!
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That Clip F'n Rocks. I cant wait...
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So yes, it does.
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That movie was one of the most insulting things I've ever seen. It's smug, condescending and arrogant. It's trying to out-transport The Transporter and Crank while at the same time sneering and saying "we're really way too good for shit like this".
Fuck Shoot 'Em Up with a rubber dick. -
High voltage rock 'n roll, baby.
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Wich isn't saying much
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Frank fucking Martin is the man.
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Dec 31, 2008 6:58:41 PM CST
Any movie with Staham and any combination of cars/explosions
by stuntcock mike
gets my dough.
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seriously. It was called "The Bank Job". He actually ACTED in it, believe it or not!
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Dec 31, 2008 7:25:51 PM CST
Statham was good in SNATCH....and its an actual good movie.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
And I remember people raving about London. Anyone see it?
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Yes to this movie. If people are hating on this... Come on really? Can you not have a good time? And whoever asked for Tits warning that shit is hilarious.
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after what they did to punisher and the spirit...looks like fun though...and what tits? they were covered
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That was a great trailer you gave me VHS flashback syndrome. Friday The 13th Part VIII Jason Takes Manhattan one of the other greatest trailers ever made
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Dec 31, 2008 10:03:48 PM CST
there are tits right after the old lady says "hot little whore"
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Its very quick though. Not nearly enough frames to get fired over in my opinion.
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ain't life all about fun? Geez in the world we live something dumb, silly and fun is what we need to takeour minds off all the bullshit. People on here gotta chill and relax and be able to pull stick (or shotgun) outta ass and just enjoy some fun....a movie can be cheap and dum and still fun...ya can't always get the classy whore sometime you gotta settle for the 10 dollar BJ cause a BJ is fun no matter what.
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that just because it's cheap and dumb doesn't mean it's automatically fun. You gotta earn it. To me, some assholes with implied backwards hats and soul patches pushing all the buttons on their editing equipment while Jason Statham rapes his girlfriend in front of a crowd is not necessarily fun. Don't pull that "you don't want to have fun" shit on me, some of my favorite movies include Blade, Stone Cold and Action Jackson. I wrote a whole book about the films of Steven Seagal. I even like Transporter 2. (Although the other two not so much.)
What I am proposing is that even the lowbrow arts can be held to standards of quality and non-shittiness. A movie like this could be done with skill and intelligence and still be "dumb." Or if not it should be more accidentally shitty like Dolemite. To claim that just ANY movie like this must be enjoyed is to insult the genre and all those who died for it. Or, you know, worked hard for it or whatever.
I think most of us agree on that though since some people have drawn the line at Shoot 'em Up and since a bunch of you gave me shit for liking Transporter 2.
anyway happy new year -
the naked chick with the sweaty back. man that will never make the cut, the MPAA will fall off their chairs!
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Come on, if that wasn´t called "CRANK 2" nobody would give a shit about that flic. It looks painfully awful and everyone cursing the whole hole "shakycam-style" will surely throw up watching that crap.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZQqIIK1THE&feature=related
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