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Mastidon From BNAT: VALKYRIE!!
Merrick here...
..with a look at VALKYRIE from my man Mastidon, who saw it last weekend at BNAT.
Here's what he had to say...
Hi Guys,
Mastidon here again. I wasn't planning on writing a review on VALKYRIE since Merritcat wrote one (HERE) from her unique point of view as the only German attending. However, I realized that I too at BNAT had a very unique point of view as the only American attending who has lived in Germany for the past 9 years.
Directed by: Bryan Singer
Written by: Christopher McQuarrie & Nathan Alexander
Starring: Tom Cruise, Kenneth Branagh, Bill Nighy, Tom Wilkinson, Eddie Izzard, and Terrance Stamp
Opens: Dec. 25 USA, Jan. 22 Germany, Jan. 23 UK
Rating: 4 1/2 stars out of 5
OK, I want to start off and get the obvious issue out of the way. I think Tom Cruise is a fucking nutbag. Need I say more? But I think on rare occasions he can act. BORN ON THE 4TH OF JULY was by far his best example of this but who among us in the geek community doesn't like RISKY BUSINESS? Or JERRY MAGUIRE? I can't imagine anyone else starring in any of those movies. Let me draw a BNAT parallel. Now by no means am I saying Tom is 1/10 as good an actor as this man as he still stands as one of the greatest actors of all time, but he was a fucking nut. And unlike Tom whose Scientology space crap dose not directly cause people sadness, this guy would come to your town and piss in your face right after the moment you lost somebody you love. Yes, this can only be Charlton Heston. I personally think he was not only a fucking nut, but a hurtful son of a bitch who hopefully is burning in hell as I type this. That said, do I not love PLANET OF THE APES or think BEN HUR was not one of the greatest movies of all time? Of course not. I could not imagine anybody else in those roles. So cut Tom a little slack. He has proven he can act sometimes. And just because he is a fucking nut that is no reason to shun this GREAT film.
So why is it great? You know the ending going in. You know they failed. Hitler lived. Big spoiler, right? It is great because Bryan Singer is the perfect director to keep up suspense combined with pulling the best performances out of people. USUAL SUSPECTS anyone? HOUSE? And maybe he did not quiet nail SUPERMAN RETURNS to your geek pleasure, but he certainly nailed this one. And in the process, he shows you key pieces of the story that I never knew about even though we were taught about this in my middle school in New Jersey. He did the research, he put in the time and fought with the German government to shoot the film where it needed to be shot and not on some soundstage with a CGI Berlin but in the real locations. Singer took every care to make sure it was historically accurate from the costumes and sets to the script. In short, he took the care that needed to be done to do this story justice.
About the accent issue, I agree with the way it is handled. Take a great distinguished Shakespearean actor like Kenneth Branagh and have him put on a fake German accent? It doesn't work. Or take the other extreme of CHE and have everything done in German with subtitles? Then the amount of people to see this film would be far less. Singer's compromise is to start off with Cruises narration in German with subtitles and slowly fade to English. This is the only way I can see doing it with still keeping the film commercial.
There are so many fascinating little bits to this story of how it all came down such as the German signaling office sending both sets of messages. It is a intriguing look at how easy it was for a small group of people who nearly brought down the Nazi regime. Imagine how many lives would have been saved or what the state of the world would have been like today? Merritcat's uncle died in the last weeks and days of the war. He would have bee alive today as he was 20 when he died. In the late '50s and early '60s a large Turkish population moved to Germany to help rebuild it as migrant workers. Most are still there today. None of this would have been necessary had Valkyrie succeeded. I can tell you from my own personal experience that Germans even today do not like to make waves. They will rarely question authority and will follow orders. This is what makes what these men did even that much more surprising and shocking. This is a story that everyone needs to know.
This film is one of Singer's best works. It shows that he has grown as a director from not only expertly telling a fictional story but to take a factual one and make it intriguing and entertaining. You will be doing yourself a disservice if you avoid it. I can only tell you from my own personal experiences that this is an important film and should be on your radar to see if not in the cinema but sometime soon.
Until the next time....
Ciao,
-Mastidon
Mastidon here again. I wasn't planning on writing a review on VALKYRIE since Merritcat wrote one (HERE) from her unique point of view as the only German attending. However, I realized that I too at BNAT had a very unique point of view as the only American attending who has lived in Germany for the past 9 years.
Directed by: Bryan Singer
Written by: Christopher McQuarrie & Nathan Alexander
Starring: Tom Cruise, Kenneth Branagh, Bill Nighy, Tom Wilkinson, Eddie Izzard, and Terrance Stamp
Opens: Dec. 25 USA, Jan. 22 Germany, Jan. 23 UK
Rating: 4 1/2 stars out of 5
OK, I want to start off and get the obvious issue out of the way. I think Tom Cruise is a fucking nutbag. Need I say more? But I think on rare occasions he can act. BORN ON THE 4TH OF JULY was by far his best example of this but who among us in the geek community doesn't like RISKY BUSINESS? Or JERRY MAGUIRE? I can't imagine anyone else starring in any of those movies. Let me draw a BNAT parallel. Now by no means am I saying Tom is 1/10 as good an actor as this man as he still stands as one of the greatest actors of all time, but he was a fucking nut. And unlike Tom whose Scientology space crap dose not directly cause people sadness, this guy would come to your town and piss in your face right after the moment you lost somebody you love. Yes, this can only be Charlton Heston. I personally think he was not only a fucking nut, but a hurtful son of a bitch who hopefully is burning in hell as I type this. That said, do I not love PLANET OF THE APES or think BEN HUR was not one of the greatest movies of all time? Of course not. I could not imagine anybody else in those roles. So cut Tom a little slack. He has proven he can act sometimes. And just because he is a fucking nut that is no reason to shun this GREAT film.
So why is it great? You know the ending going in. You know they failed. Hitler lived. Big spoiler, right? It is great because Bryan Singer is the perfect director to keep up suspense combined with pulling the best performances out of people. USUAL SUSPECTS anyone? HOUSE? And maybe he did not quiet nail SUPERMAN RETURNS to your geek pleasure, but he certainly nailed this one. And in the process, he shows you key pieces of the story that I never knew about even though we were taught about this in my middle school in New Jersey. He did the research, he put in the time and fought with the German government to shoot the film where it needed to be shot and not on some soundstage with a CGI Berlin but in the real locations. Singer took every care to make sure it was historically accurate from the costumes and sets to the script. In short, he took the care that needed to be done to do this story justice.
About the accent issue, I agree with the way it is handled. Take a great distinguished Shakespearean actor like Kenneth Branagh and have him put on a fake German accent? It doesn't work. Or take the other extreme of CHE and have everything done in German with subtitles? Then the amount of people to see this film would be far less. Singer's compromise is to start off with Cruises narration in German with subtitles and slowly fade to English. This is the only way I can see doing it with still keeping the film commercial.
There are so many fascinating little bits to this story of how it all came down such as the German signaling office sending both sets of messages. It is a intriguing look at how easy it was for a small group of people who nearly brought down the Nazi regime. Imagine how many lives would have been saved or what the state of the world would have been like today? Merritcat's uncle died in the last weeks and days of the war. He would have bee alive today as he was 20 when he died. In the late '50s and early '60s a large Turkish population moved to Germany to help rebuild it as migrant workers. Most are still there today. None of this would have been necessary had Valkyrie succeeded. I can tell you from my own personal experience that Germans even today do not like to make waves. They will rarely question authority and will follow orders. This is what makes what these men did even that much more surprising and shocking. This is a story that everyone needs to know.
This film is one of Singer's best works. It shows that he has grown as a director from not only expertly telling a fictional story but to take a factual one and make it intriguing and entertaining. You will be doing yourself a disservice if you avoid it. I can only tell you from my own personal experiences that this is an important film and should be on your radar to see if not in the cinema but sometime soon.
Until the next time....
Ciao,
-Mastidon
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Again?
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Merry Christmas!
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Where da Windex at? Oh...wait, you're not Scriptgirl.
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and I wasn't crazy about Risky Business, and greatly disliked Jerry Maguire. But I will still see Valkyrie.
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I fully expect Valkyrie to be a really good movie, and I love Tom Cruise's on screen persona. His point lost some steam, though, when he deputized Charlton Heston into the argument. Charlton Heston was a BIG actor. He was a LOUD actor, but I don't know anyone who'd call him one of the greatest actors of all time. Charlton Heston was fun to watch...kinda like Shatner with better opportunities. But I'd feel REAL good about suggesting that Cruise's portfolio of work already outshines Heston's.
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You obviously don't know a damn thing about Heston. He marched with MLK on several occaisssions and was one of the loudest voices in forcing hollywood to begin to do more positive depictions of other races on movies. He was a real force in the civil rights movement.
So perhaps thoughst should'st researchest a wee bit before you start just slamming someone you don't know shit about.
Guns don't kill people , assholes do. -
...If you ever see macheesmo3 enter a Indian restaurant then run. Do not stop. Do not look back. Just run.
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Heston is a hurtful son of a bitch who should burn in hell for making some gun right comments at an inappropriate time? Excuse me, but THAT comment is fucking nuts! And hurtful! I guess that means you will be roasting marshmallows in hell next to Heston then you moron!
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I expected some part of this review to have actually said something about the film. In one breath he says that we should overlook Tom Cruise's personality and background when judging a movie and then in the next breath talks about how this movie is somehow worth seeing because it shows Nazis as bad guys.
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And another thing....Tommy does much more damage being an outspoken front man for Scientology! An insidious brain washing cult that tries to rip off people's money and brings all their legal guns to bear on anyone who Publically condemns them! That is far more fucked up and hurtful then someone speaking on a Constitutional RIGHT!
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We don't know if he committed any mortal sins. If he did commit a mortal sin, then we don't know if he confessed them and asked God for forgiveness. So who are you to judge what's in a person's soul? Who are you to judge if someone is in hell or not. You just make yourself look like a loser. Have a nice day.
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was a legend. The Cruiser is a flake.
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Dec 21, 2008 5:06:54 PM CST
"I can tell you from my own personal experience that Germans eve
by crackerfarmboy
"They will rarely question authority and will follow orders."
Wow, what an ignorant statement. Ever heard of Stanley Milgram's Obedience study? ALL people follow orders. It's not just a German defect. At any rate, the move sounds great. -
None? I thought so, so shut the fuck up.
All this bad press is from the media and just shitty word of mouth from unproven sources.
Whats the point in calling him nuts outta nowhere!? Nothing to do with the movie what so ever. Crazy!
Has Tom Cruise told people outright to join the cult? Nope?
Again shut the fuck.
The guy is a happy human so until all Scientologist terrorise us or do a mass suicide or something, prove they are crazy instead of jumping on the Tom Cruise & Scientology hate wagon.
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Cruise has nothing in his past, present or future that can match Heston's work in "Ben Hur", "El Cid", "The Agony And The Ecstacy" or "Will Penny"!
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Damn You Michael Bay
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Spoken like a true Scientologist you chowder head! I am bothered by soliciting scientologists ALL of the time in LA! Anyone ever been asked to take the test to see how many little space aliens you have inside you? They solicit money under the guises of many misleading and phoney companies! Many people have been sued by the lawyers and have had their lives ruined! A little headline for you buckwheat...You don't have dead space aliens trapped in your body, there is no evil galactic overlord named Xemu! And L. Ron Hubbard was not a prophet or savior, he was a fucking lousy sc-fi writer with a fake war record!Scientology is a fucking cult that operates like a pyramid scheme...the top guys get power and make tons of money!
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Hurtful son of a bitch? To hope someone is burning in hell in a movie review sounds a lot more fucking hurtful you piece of shit.
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This review reaks of bad karma... on multiple issues.
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or have you just chosen to ignore the evil that the org has done?? fuck scientology and that crazy dead bastard l ron hubbard
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How is that any different than how christians act???
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Dec 21, 2008 5:54:23 PM CST
get the fuck out of here with your anti scie bullshit, faggots
by stengah
this isnt a blog, this is a fucking cinema website. if some dude jacks off to intergalactic space porn, then fuck, hook me up with that shit. Who gives a fuck what the dude does aslong as he doesn't cum on me like hannibal lecter's next door prisonmate.
Get your anti religion propaganda the fuck out of here and kill yourself faggotfucks. -
Dec 21, 2008 5:54:56 PM CST
"It's rough and tumble, it's wild and woolly and it's a blast!"
by jackpumpkinhead
Here's your quote for the posters. Remember the source?
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I remember about two of his reviews, and they, along with this one, were as informative, entertaining and well-composed as Jondough's...
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I was waiting for someone to bring up Christianity! Why didn't you bring up that wonderfully loving and benign religion Islam! To be honest, on some level you are right...they are all fucking nuts! Extremists usually are! Whether it is religion, Star Trek fans, Ain't it cool bloggers, you name it! Regardless, Tom is still a marginally talented nut, Scientology is a dangerous cult and Mastidon started it by wearing his emotions on his sleeves rather that do a straight review! and Stengah...your writing and thought are a credit to our fine public school edukation!
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I can't think of anything hurtful Heston did, and bringing him up added nothing to this review. Mastidon has a serious axe to grind, and the PTB here gave him a bully pulpit from which to grind it. Boo! Hiss!
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...is an ass. Please don't publish anything he writes ever again.
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I don't know if Mastidon was being deliberately "controversial" but the Cruise/Heston comparison was...well...in word, stupid. Heston was a legend for his time who had as much an interest in standing for what he believed in as much as he was an "actor's actor" if I may use a term. Cruise by contrast is a pretty boy associated with a questionable-at-best cult, whose best work would be better appreciated if he would mute his offscreen persona, which never fails to generate controversy at seemingly the exactly wrong time. Lose the chip on your choulder and let's stick to reviewing films on their respective artistic merit.
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Hasn't enough time passed for us to ease up on what was a pretty exaggerated and ridiculous pretense to begin with. The dude jumped on a couch and acted like a rude arrogant prick in one interview. Wow, what a maniac! I think we can pick a better pariah.
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Dec 21, 2008 6:45:06 PM CST
Wow. Another writer on AICN pushing their agenda for the world.
by retroactive
What's the difference between you and Cruise again? Or telling us what to think about Heston's post-mortem status? Or how all German's think? Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't you guys just talk about the movies you watched instead of your narrow-minded b.s. about the state of the world and its citizens? Considering you watch movies for a living, which is pretty cool but not that challenging of a job, why are you lecturing us on world affairs? Try to enjoy life a little bit. And the next time you review a movie, an actual review would be appreciated. Thanks!
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Actually I was being deliberately controversial because if you read the talkbacks in Merritcat's review, all they talk about is what a wacko Tom is. And that is not an issue as to whever this movie is any good or not so I drew upon my BNAT example as I knew the reaction it would have. The issue is did Tom do a good job in this movie? And the answer to that is yes.
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Because he owned a rifle and was head of NRA? Really? What a moron this reviewer is. He is right about one thing--Heston was an awesome actor. See his portrayal of The Player King in Branaugh's "Hamlet". He is masterful. As for Mastidon--fuck off.
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I wish I wrote about movies for a living, instead I am an IT guy who happens to live in Germany. For your reference, I am not spreading my "narrow-minded BS" but simply expressing my experience from living in the country in question for the past 9 years. Once you venture outside of your birth country and move somewhere else, then talk to me.
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So, people call Tom a nut so you decide to ratfuck Heston? Makes as much sense as Scientology! Heston should burn in hell, but no mention of the wackos who dressed up like Matrix characters and shot up a school! Tom Cruise does a good job in some movies...so what? He still is not worthy to carry Heston's Planet Of Tge Apes loin cloth!
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Pretty sad review from a sad person. He should stay in Germany.PS. Cruise is a wacko. I enjoy some of his movies but the man is still a nutcase.
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its a mad gnorglynizer!!!!!!!
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No matter what you think of Cruise, the movie was pretty dang good. Cruise was good (not great) in this film, but he was definitely elevated by the fact that everyone else around him was absolutely superb. Eddie Izzard has shot to the top of the list of my favorite actors in the past few years, and certainly didn't let me down with this performance. Even if this review wasn't well put together, the film is worth checking out.
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He was superb as Heydrich in Conspiracy. A very disturbing movie featuring Nazis sitting around talking and eating. It was the essential beginning of the Final Solution.
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for Tom Cruise, he could have used Hitler himself. After all, we all know Hitler was a fantastic painter. "He could paint an entire apartment in one afternoon! Two coats!"
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of Heston, who by any definition was a real man. Read his autobiograhy, or read a biography on him if you think his own story is so slanted. Here's a guy who worked hard, got a few good breaks, and the rest is history. But, he also was a generous, kind, and loving man who marched for ending segreation long before it was fashionable.
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Who of us doesn't like it? I'm guessing just about everyone.
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Now that is one movie I wish would have been made before the man passed away. Opportunity lost. He would have grabbed the devil by the horns and kicked his face in.
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...we are judged IN THIS life for what we do IN THIS life...we dont know shit one way or another what happens after..most likely nothing.
Either way Cruise, Heston..whatever - people are not all ONE thing or ANOTHER. just like most of the assholes here are not necessarily ALL BAD or ALL GOOD. -
I live in Dresden and I'm really curious to see how the movie sounds dubbed in German. Hmm see it in English first or in German?
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I hate these guys.
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...APE HEAVEN!
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You damn dirty ape! Heston rules. Fuck you , Mastidork.
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So, you´re an IT guy working in Germany. In what kind of one-horse town exactly? Man, you need to get out more. Seriously.
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Those guys have gotten a free pass for far too long. They're like the cazy rabid homeless person of religions... they're so wacky that most people just walk away and try to avoid them, but if you get too close they might bite and then you have to get the painful shots in the stomach.
OK so maybe it's not exactly like that, but it's close. Fucking alien energy signatures stuck to your body, and nuclear bombs dropped from jet planes into volcanos. That's a religion I can BELIEVE IN! (TM)
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It's actually not even worth being called a review. Not only does this tell me nothing about the movie other than Singer did a great job directing and "this is a story that everyone needs to know", but it also manages to shit on its star actor Tom Cruise, and more randomly and needlessly insult Charlton Heston too. I wouldnt mind it so much if the rest of the review was worth reading.
What's with this site lately? It's like Harry's new mandate is to have contributors stir shit up any way they can, because nobody working here can be bothered with trying to come up with anything intelligent to say. -
I'm not american, and I was not raised in the US. This is the Internet, where grammar can kiss my fat fucking cock. Coherent statements in comments is for fucking pussies.
If I ever cross paths with you, I would love to smash your fucking skull in with a rusty lead pipe. -
Must have struck a nerve my foreign uneducated friend! I served 12 years as a Navy SEAL, fought in 2 wars and was shot at in 5 countries! Finer degenerates than you have tried to kill me and failed...Any time you want to have a go at me with a rusty pipe, feel free...I need a good workout!...PS - That's Mr Pussy to you!
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We must be ever viligant against their propaganda
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see what their cult did! It made me mispell a word
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but i agree accents in movies set in other countries is pretty stupid. i doubt shakespeare bothered with it much in his plays. Either go all the way with subtitles, or let th actors speak normally. accents are dumb.
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Dec 21, 2008 10:54:42 PM CST
Don't tell merritcat they taught you about this in middle school
by thebearovingian
Her brain might explode. "What?! You can't be fucking serious! US schools don't teach this shit! And if they did they probably said that it was a group of American spies and not actual German Nazis who tried to kill Teh Fuhrer!"And why the digs at T. Mapother Cruise? It's not the elephant in the room. We don't give a shit. We did, however, want to read an actual review of the movie.And what the hell is the Charlton Heston stuff?! Seriously? Really? Seriously? LAME-O.
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Who doesn't love Jerry Maguire?
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Heil!!!!
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Dec 21, 2008 11:03:09 PM CST
MAMMA MIA MADE ME SMILE THE WHOLE TIME. CAN VALKYRIE DO SAME?
by bringingsexyback
And I could go on without ever watching a Heston movie again. His acting is on par with The Shat.
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"That's it? That's how you're gonna bring down Hitler? Mail fraud?"
"You got any better ideas?" -
Rot in hell you heartless fuck.
(Now what did he do that was so bad?) -
...gets what they deserve. I mean, really. Unless you are a child, theres just no excuse. Its not tom cruises fault, its not scientologys fault, its your fault if you get fucked over.
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Dec 21, 2008 11:14:59 PM CST
A FRIEND OF MINE HAS BEEN PURSUED BY THE SCIENTOLOGISTS FOR YEAR
by bringingsexyback
She signed up for something somewhere and they haven't relented since. They're a pretty determined cult. Scary.
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Anyone got status on that cocksucker?
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...to get much-needed human attention, just like BSB in every single talkback. Poor kid.
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Dec 22, 2008 12:17:32 AM CST
I'D RATHER BE A SCIENTOLOGIST THAN A FUCKING MORMON!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Thats all I gotsta say.
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....he had a great cock and he knew how to fuck. What the fucks the problem....ladies?
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Heston was a real man who stood up for his beliefs while you liberal pansies just hold out your hands or turn your heads including on civil rights. Heston actually put his money where his mouth was and marched for civil rights. Eat shit, you spineless bitch.
As for Cruise... Who cares about Scientology? I think what rubs people the wrong way is his arrogance, not his religion. He's a pretty boy and not even worthy of mentioning in the same review as Heston. Though I do think that occasionally he can act. -
that never gets old.
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uhm that really isn't a very unique perspective. musn't have realized that was a lame angle.
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Tom Cruise sat on Harry's face at the premiere and Harry went to town on him like the Sizzler salad bar.
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Dec 22, 2008 12:51:30 AM CST
Sizzlers too healthy. I'd say like the Hometown Buffet.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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"For your reference, I am not spreading my "narrow-minded BS" but simply expressing my experience from living in the country in question for the past 9 years. Once you venture outside of your birth country and move somewhere else, then talk to me."
Well, how about me? I lived in England for eight years! So I qualify, don't I, to criticize your vitriolic diarrhea of the mouth about one of the greatest actors of our time?? That you are a total jackass and just want to hate on Heston? What happened, Heston got more babes in the flicks that you'll ever even talk to in your whole life? Thought so. Oh, by the way, I have friends all over Germany who would cringe at the thought that you live in the same country as they do. -
Is it me?
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And then goes on an insane rant about Heston. Seems Mastidon is more zealous about his politics than Cruise is about Scientology. The irony is that Mastidon proves Cruise is wrong about one thing. Some people really do need psychotherapy.As for the actual bit about the movie, I don't see anything new or insightful here. In fact, I see very little that can actually be called a "review" of the "movie". Mastidon likes the movie and is okay with the way the transition from German to English is done... and that's pretty much it. Golly, geepers. AICN has really dropped their standards. Anyone remember Hunt for Red October? Remember how they started off speaking Russian and then shifted to everyone speaking English? I guess Mastidon doesn't.Pffft... whatever. I'll dig around for reviews with a little more substance and a little less hard-core political tangents. Shouldn't be that difficult.
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this looks good
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find and kill mastidon. eradicate the desease that is mastidon. remember, these are very clear instructions so i have no doubt they will be carried out...what a turdburglar...
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I'd say you are more of a scrotum than a nutbag.
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...But people get upset when you start talking about condemning their favourite actors to hell cos apparently they haven't heard of dinosaurs and evolution. People don't kill with cake, they kill with guns, so let's have more cake and less guns. I definitely view Heston in the same light as Cruise. Both very talented, iconic actors, in incredible films who ruined their own legacies by making their bizarre and harmful beliefs public. Can you imagine the partner you love suffering postnatal depression making anti-depressants and then having to watch an overpaid Hollywood nutsack on the television jumping up and down on a sofa telling her she was an irresponsible mother for trying to help herself and should come off her meds and join Scientology instead? So you can't really watch their films without thinking of their flaws and the many others who may have been hurt by their ignorance. Ben Hur is still an awesome film and Cruise has many great films to be proud of; Eyes Wide Shut, Magnolia, Minority Report, Jerry Maguire, Vanilla Sky, Goldmember, Last Samurai, Collateral, Interview With A Vampire, Mission Impossible, Born On The Fourth Of July, Rain Man Legend, Top Gun, The Color Of Money etc... And I'm sure Valkyrie will be amazing [trailer looks amazing] but I'm also sure my money will go straight into Scientology's pockets. So I'm going to pirate this and encourage others to do the same.
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I say mastidon comment about living in Germany is about as important to a movie review as my being in Africa. That is, it's not important at all. As a matter of fact its about as useful as a tits on a boar hog.
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he can be a great film maker or keep making shitty comic movies, and as a film maker he only lacks the ability to inject humor in the films he makes. In Usual Suspects & Valkyrie he dose not need it, in Superman & X-Men he dose. He should stick to dramas and thrillers, I'd turn up for those.
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The guy is quite simply a great movie star. And yes, he can definitely act. Magnolia, Interview with a Vampire, Eyes Wide Shut, Collateral, and all the other movies Mastidon mentioned. He knows how to entertain an audience. Also, I think his nose is sexy. That mole on his cheek bothers me a bit, but I won't let that stop me from enjoying one of his movies.
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Dec 22, 2008 6:22:44 AM CST
AS AN AMERICAN LIVING IN AMERICA I ENJOY PISSING OFF SIR LOSER
by bringingsexyback
In Germany you can get stoned for caps abuse.
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Scientology blows ass. Tom Cruise blows ass. Hitler blew ass. That abouot cover it?
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The guy was an asshole LONG after he was making good movies. Deal with it.
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FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!
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and without our guns protecting you pussies, you'd be typing this shit in German right now, or not at all.
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and yet i keep an open-mind about everything else and never hate someone based on their beliefs or comments as long as they don't interfere with my life. Mastidon, maybe you should stop living half of you life inside your head, get out more and meet real people.
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And how the FUCK do you draw a comparison between Chuck Heston and Tom Cruise? That's quite a reach.Heston, the epitome of a manly man, and if not a remarkable actor... a remarkable screen presence over 5 decades.Cruise, an aging prettyboy buttpirate with all the acting substance of cotton candy.Forgive me if I fail to see the common ground there. Here's my one Xmas wish, Santa: that Mastidon never, ever again post a movie review here or anyplace else on the Internet. Thanks, big guy.
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For scottishnutjob. Stupid finger slips and you have premature posting!
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focus on his "religion" instead of his movies? This is getting old, old, old.
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It felt like an essay that effectively said "I liked this film" but was padded out with pointless guff. (Charlton Heston? WTF??)
I've learned nothing about the actual film here.
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Dec 22, 2008 8:29:16 AM CST
We all know Hilter wasn't assassinated, so there's no suspense
by speed fricassee
It was well made, but it was the wrong story to make. It failed, as movies go.
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because we know almost everyone dies.
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Most hated reviewers ever?
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I'll try harder next time to be your sole choice.
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...who the hell is going to go see a movie about Nazi Germany around the holidays? Even if it is a good suspense thriller, is anyone seriously going to take the wife and/or kids to the multiplex around Christmas, to watch a drama about Hitler's attempted assassination? If this movie tanks, Cruise can blame the wrong-headed release date.
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I agree 100% with you. Not my idea of an XMAS movie. Bu then again, HELLRAISER 2 HELLBOUND opened on XMAS and I paid to see it on that day. So you never know how audiences will react.
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...you can make the argument that the Hellraiser movies are over the top escapist entertainment for teenagers and college students who like a good scare. Valkyrie is selling itself, via Cruise on talk shows, as a historically-sort of-accurate thriller/drama about Nazi Germany.
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Thank you for giving yourself to public service to protect us. As for guns, look at Canada. Everybody has one. Nobody said guns are bad. IMO what is bad is the way Heston and the NRA would show up to hold conventions right after a tragedy would happen in the very place it happened, thus causing those people more pain. That is why I think he should be burning in hell.
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I don't know if the studios were thinking about this, but remember Hannukah is a major Jewis holiday. So maybe they're hoping that along with rest of the crowd this movie might have some impact with the Jewish community. A movie about an assasination attempt on Hitler, the man with only one ball who tried to exterminate an ethnic group. If I were Jewish I'd be all over this.
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...but as a studio, would you risk your tens of millions of dollars of investment, possibly $100 Million, on a historical drama with unappealing subject matter and plan to turn a healthy profit just off the returns from one religious group attending your movie? Seems a huge risk to me. Now, if Valkyrie were a much smaller budget character drama affair like Doubt that's based on a prize winning play with a built in audience and opening in selected theaters, Valkyrie may have made back its money.
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Dec 22, 2008 9:14:22 AM CST
I didn't know the price tag was that high, but
by grammaton cleric binks
when I look at the list of great actors in this I can see why. Singer, plus the cast, I think it's a risk I'd be willing to take, but then I've never had $100 million to play with.
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event with Brad Davis? I was young, but have only seen it in bits and pieces. I don't remember any of it.
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My dad and I have not seen a movie together since the entire family saw Raiders of the Lost Ark when I was five years old. He asked me the other day to figure out a good time for he and I to see this together. So I think that's pretty cool.
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Sorry but that rant about Cruise and Heston are the words of a moron
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...I would have asked Bryan Singer to add another big action set piece to the movie, and release it in 2009 as a late Summer, August, serious minded action thriller. Think, The Fugitive or Eastwood's In The Line of Fire. It would probably have raked in major bucks, likely more than it would now.
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Bad movie than may only be topped by the worst and most hateful review in the history of movies and the internet. May this reviewer not only never post another review but may his keyboard burst into flames and his bags of cheetos become infested with flesh eating maggots. What a total moron.
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Spend more time shit talking the review or the reviewer than the actual movie? Waste.
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Dec 22, 2008 10:39:46 AM CST
But In the Line of Fire, a great Eastwood flick
by grammaton cleric binks
didn't have any big battle scenes. There were a few gunfights, but it was mostly the suspense of the game is afoot that made it a great flick
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What have you been soming and where can I get some?
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You guys sure are drunk on your own rhetoric. This is a relatively innocuous review, but one remark about Charlton Heston turns you all into a hissing lynch mob. It's just, like, his opinion, man! And one I happen to agree with.
El Cid, Touch of Evil, POTA and The Big Country are all some of my favourite movies, but it can't be denied Chuck was a bit of a wanker. It's easy to say that it's the people behind the guns who are the problem, not the guns themselves, but the statistics (European gun deaths in comparison to American gun deaths) show that up as empty, home-spun nonsense. Fuck your atavistic second amendment up its stupid ass. Charlton was a badass, but also a stubborn, immoral swine for so religiously advocating something that causes so many deaths a year, simply because of pigheadedness.
Anyway, that's not the point. The point is y'all need to gain a little perspective here. Stop egging each other on like a bunch of chinless yokels. -
Ban people.
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In the trailers when other actors are using accents, good o'l Tom didn't even try? If this was a comedy that would work, but umm... Ok. Instant second rate.
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Some actors pull unbelievably crazy characters out of themselves. For Cruise, it seems he's gone the opposite way. He's the wacky job, who plays characters quite different from himself - but the characters are more "real" than he is.
Either way, I'll agree he can be a good actor. But I'll pass on about anything to do w/ his real life. -
Please do not make it sound as if it was even close to being a good movie..
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What the hell does that have to do with the movie?? If Harry or the others had any ethics, they'd delete this review and associated talkback because it DOES NOT MEET THE BAR of being a review. I want to know if the movie is worth seeing. I want to know what makes the movie work. I want to know what problems the movie may have. I want to know who the target audience of the movie is. I want to be warned if the movie fails. I want to know ahead of time if my money should be spent elsewhere.
What I don't want is someone taking their five minutes of fame to rant about how they hate this person or that person because of their political views or associations. Cruise's involvement with Scientology won't stop me from seeing a film he's in. The film being a piece of crap will. Heston being a force in Hollywood won't make me shell out my hard earned cash. Reviews telling my why the movie is worth my time very well might. Your opinion of Heston, Obama, Bush, Martin Luthor King Jr, or the Pope isn't relevant to any review of any film, so keep that garbage to yourself or take it to a polysci forum where they like that shit.
Here's a tip... nobody cares who you like or who you hate, WRITE ABOUT THE FUCKING MOVIE AND STOP WASTING OUR TIME. -
Sorry folks (I love the X-men) but those movies even sucked. Only reason they did good.... Ready for it... Because the fans waited for SO long to see them on the screen, thats it! Superman R was disgusting!
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Evidently they do care, otherwise this talkback would have the same amount of posts as the other BNAT articles right now.
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Most of his movies were of a grand epic style, before the subtlety of modern performances. If Heston acted like the Shat nowadays, you could call it 'overacting'. But back then it wasn't.Also, I think the problem most are having with the comment is that you're equating a factually dubious cult created by a scifi writer 40 years ago with the SECOND AMMENDMENT OF THE UNITED STATE CONSTITUTION! All Heston was doing was asserting his constitutional rights! My gosh! Oh, and next time you spout bilge like that, have some actual facts and examples to back up. Then we can have an intelligent debate instead of me instantly jumping to the conclusion that you're a dullard of the first order.
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Scientology has gotten people killed. Not in a 'I am willing to die for this cause' kind of way. Lisa McPherson died in a 'kept against her will by Scientologist doctors, starved, dehydrated, covered with roachbites' kind of way. All because she was planning on leaving Scientology. She was taken to a hospital for 'observation', but not the nearest one. She was taken miles and miles out of the way to where a Scientologist doctor could keep her for as long as he deemed it necessary. These people are monsters, no better than the Mafia. Don't you dare let Scientology off the hook with that 'freedom of religion' hook they use.
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After suffering Jondough's SPIRIT non-review last week, not we're faced with this non-review of VALKYRIE. I read this site to get the skinny on movies im potentially interested in seeing not to endure a paragraph on why Heston is hellbound... Harry and the boys needs to get the quality control back in check.
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I hope this is a good movie for a couple of reasons neither have all that much to do with Tom..1) I love good movies 2) IMHO its good for Americans/everyone else in the world to remember ALL Germans weren't completely nuts..but Mastidon if Charlton Heston caused you personal pain and you think that Tom's religion is completely harmless..stay in Germany PLEASE..we have enough deluded whiners here as is...thanks for the review but the Lord weeps at your sense of logic...
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Hey ACIN, wow about not accepting submissions from middle school student in NJ? Seems like it dims your credibility just a bit...
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Really? You think so? Try this... if he hadn't brought up his opinions on Cruise and Heston, would anyone here have asked? The answer is, no.
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I had German potato salad with my turkey club today....
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzk6h7qUUCA&feature=related
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I remember when X-Men 2 came out and everybody here and everywhere else was falling over each other to say how great it was. Understandably as it is great. Of course now everyone can't wait to have that film buried.
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Dot! Dot! Dot!
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If hell is where they send people for standing up for what they believe in, regardless the personal cost, then please reserve a seat for me next to Charlton Heston. Civil rights was his cause, both for racial equality and the right to defend yourself. He was a rare individual who took a stand, even protesting in front of a segregated cinema showing one of HIS films. Also true family man who was married to the same woman for over 50 years, which is an amazing achievement by Hollywood standards. Research is a key component of journalism lost on morons who mistake their ham-fisted banging on a keyboard with actual writing. Please find a day job and spare us any further torture. Dark Knight OUT.
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And after watching a movie umpteen times on DVD and TV you kinda see all the faults more clearly. I didn't like X2 from the beginning. What Singer did to Cyclops is unforgivable. He was the bestest X-Man.
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Why should I care if this fool liked the film or not? Keep up the great work, imbecile.
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The reason the NRA would show up after a shooting is to point out that the fault of the catastrophe lies with the PERSON behind the gun, not the gun itself. That should in no way cause further grief to anyone who lost a loved one. I am sure they help out in ways which you have no knowledge of. The NRA is against having guns in the hands of people who should not have them, such as Criminals and people with mental problems. Show me proof of the NRA doing anything hurtful after a gun related catastrophe, or apologize for your remarks about Charlton Heston, a great American patriot.
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after some kid has just OD'd. Have some respect.
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C'mon Harry clean house already and get some new blood to write for the site.
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I agree with you it is the wacko that killed the person who is at fault. However, if for one minute you don't think holding a pro-gun rally just after such a tragedy happened, then you simply have no sympathy for others anymore. It is too bad that was the price you had to pay for serving this country. And for that, I feel sorry for you.
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The film opens Thursday. I'm sure Merrick would be happy to publish your review of it or Benjamin Button.
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I didn't see the point in forever hammering that religion. Or any religion for that matter. You should be free to join any or not.
Personally I'm Agnostic.
Besides word of mouth and unproven propaganda BS I've not seen anything bad about Scientology.
Put it this way if Scientology was the dominant religion from day one and Catholicism was the new kid people would be condemning that!
I'm not a Tom defender either, I just don't like it when people get jip just because they spazzed out for once. Anyway most of all it had nothing to do with this site!
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When did those start?
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Seriously. Ignoring the whole Heston/Cruise ranting, ignoring the brick-stupid comments about being a American living in Germany having any relevance to this so-called review, ignoring the fact that there's virtually nothing to really indicate much about the quality of the movie itself beyond some vague comments, this guy can't even get through a sentence without major typos and terribly mis-spelled words.
Just get Happy Jack to take this dope's place, Harry. -
that or the worship of food that have religious images hidden in it.
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End of story.
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If that is why you think Heston should be in hell.""At Denver, the NRA cancelled all events (normally several days of committee meetings, sporting events, dinners, and rallies) save the annual members' voting meeting -- that could not be cancelled because the state law governing nonprofits required that it be held. [No way to change location, since under NY law you have to give 10 days' advance notice of that to the members, there were upwards of 4,000,000 members -- and Columbine happened 11 days before the scheduled meeting.] As a newspaper reported:
In a letter to NRA members Wednesday, President Charlton Heston and the group's executive vice president, Wayne LaPierre, said all seminars, workshops, luncheons, exhibits by gun makers and other vendors, and festivities are canceled.
All that's left is a members' reception with Rep. J.C. Watts, R-Okla., and the annual meeting, set for 10 a.m. May 1 in the Colorado Convention Center.
Under its bylaws and New York state law, the NRA must hold an annual meeting.
The NRA convention April 30-May 2 was expected to draw 22,000 members and give the city a $17.9 million economic boost.
"But the tragedy in Littleton last Tuesday calls upon us to take steps, along with dozens of other planned public events, to modify our schedule to show our profound sympathy and respect for the families and communities in the Denver area in their time of great loss," Heston and LaPierre wrote.""
according to http://www.hardylaw.net/Truth_About_Bowling.html (remove spaces to access) -
I wish that was the only example. For a transcript of what Heston said in Denver, check out http://www.freedaily.com/articles/990504n1.html
However, there have been many cases of similiar events. For example this one - http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/10/28/national/main527187.shtml
Once again, I have no issue with the right to bear arms. It is the Second Amendment to the United States Constitution after all. What I take offense to is showing up after a tragedy and trying to use that to your advantage while causing pain to others in the process. What Tom does is jump up and down on sofa and makes himself look like an ass. At least that doesn't cause anybody pain except from maybe laughing too hard. -
Tpyos ar mi frend. Just my last response I meant to say "on a sofa". But allas, I have a shitty keybrd on the ntbk.
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Yeah, Mastidon, Tom Cruise may jump up and down on the sofa to look like an ass, all you have to do is comment here and you look like one. And with each new comment, you look more stupid. Heston did not try to use that NRA convention to his advantage - but you sure try to use a poorly-written film review to spew hate on people.
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He was in love. And it was with Katie Holmes. Did you see The Gift? I rest my case.
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Dec 22, 2008 7:51:50 PM CST
XIPHOS - MERRY CHRISTMAS, I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY
by bringingsexyback
Bullet-free Yuletide greetings!
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Talkbackers actually defending and supporting someone is a very rare thing. Go, Heston go!
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Could the next person who reviews this film please just let us know if it is a well made thriller? I don't mean that as a slight towards this reviewer but I see the commercials and it makes me think it might be a movie in the vein of 'The Day Of The Jackal' or 'Executive Action'. I already know the true history/story behind the film, Cruise's personal beliefs and actions, Mr. Singer's history, etc. I just want to know if the movie succeeds as a suspenseful thriller. Thanks.
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(and to be clear I may have missed something in this talkback) but you wrote "As for guns look at Canada. Everybody has one." Who keeps a gun? Out of everyone we know only one person has a gun (a rifle - which they keep in their country home). I genuinely know more people who own curling stones than own guns (which is really sad for me if you think about it). Not trying to start an argument, we all have different experiences, know different people, the statement just struck me as odd.
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... in hell. FUCK YOU and your agenda. Heston did more than you ever will. Oh, and I'm glad you cut Tom a little slack. The guy, while obviously a little different, is clearly very talented. He obviously doesn't need some fucking tool that writes shit reviews for a po-dunk site like this. The guy makes more in one film than you will in your entire life. I'm not saying the dude is the greatest thing ever, but he doesn't need your slack.
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Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Glock 9mm with 15 round clip.
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Wishing that somebody should rot in hell because they "weren't sympathetic"? Do you even see how hypocritical you are being?
What a terrible review. I'm glad to see the talkbackers are (rightly) castigating you. -
Charlton Heston, from all I've been able to glean, was a good man and(indisputably)a brilliant actor. And Cruise, despite his wacko beliefs, is generally quite good in most of his roles. I'll be seeing Valkyrie. Now Tom, how about that MI:4?
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...well said. fuck all else.
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...after several readings is that this Mastidon person is a douchebag.
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That is unequivocally the worst piece of writing I have seen on this site. I am honestly in shock, and you should really think hard about putting this stuff online in future. It cannot be a coincidence that people on this thread are more engaged in what a dreadful piece of prose that was rather than your opinion of the film. It really does make you sound like a dreadful human being too. You write like the most boring man at the party.
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Dec 23, 2008 4:04:20 AM CST
I'd love to see Heston in Hell!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
As a one man army armed to the teeth battling the devils minions!And it ends with Heston duking it out with Satan himself! Mano a Mano!HELLS YEAH!
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I hope you have a nice holiday whereever you are. Go see some great films like this one and enjoy the holiday.
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Different experiences I guess. I have severala friends in the Ottawa area as well as another good friend in Whistler and they all have shotguns. They all hunt. I realie not all Canadians have guns but a large percentage does and gun crime there is all but non-existant comared to the US.
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My honest opinion aside, no hard feelings at this special time of year x
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No scientology in it, enjoy is like a regular movie starring Tom Cruise.
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Brilliant idea. As Chuck dies in real life we see him go to heaven, but God gives him one last task. He is given back hi Ben Hur body, and goes to hell to take care of unfinished business. He almost dies, again, but then we hear the voice like in The Ten Commandments "Charlton...Charlton." This reminds me I need to watch the Oscars this year for the montage of all the great ones we lost this year especially.
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Indy 4 was great
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Dec 23, 2008 8:33:36 AM CST
THIS MOVIE IS GETTING HAMMERED IN THE MAINSTREAM REVIEWS
by bringingsexyback
You would think an attempt to take out Hitler would engender some good will ...
Anyway, watch Mamma Mia! instead, if you already haven't. It's the best movie of 2008. -
Hitler did more than Mastidon will ever do as well. Doesn't mean we glorify the guy. Geez.
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... are you saying Heston = Hitler? Come on, that is a terrible argument and you know it.
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Devil's advocate
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A Merry Christmas to you and your newly bound up old lady. Big plans for the firstCchristmas together as Prop 8 as man and wife, besides trying to avoid the new ice age in NYC? At least that's what it looks like in pictures.By the way, the best movie of 2008 is the Hammer with Adam Corolla. I havn't seen a lot of 2008 movies, but out of the ones I've seen, The Hammer is tops. If you haven't seen it give it a go, it's a nice little movie that way over achieved.
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The glock doesn't have a fifteen round "clip". It does have though, a fifteen round magazine. a clip and a magazine are two different things.Hear that siren going off? That's the sweet sounds of pendantisim.
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Small plans for Christmas - we are keeping it on the DL this year due to the economy. Apparently the only people giving/getting nice presents this holiday season are the shoplifters (see yesterday's Times article).
I haven't seen The Hammer - I'll check it out, but I don't think he'll stir my heart or my loins quite like Amanda Seyfried can.
I highly recommend you watch Mamma Mia with any Jihadhists you might come across. That'll have them joing the infidels by the time the credits start rolling (and even the credits are a lot o' fun). -
sooooooooo...is Heston digitally placed in this movie. ONLY reason he should be mentioned in a review like this.
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you suck. professionally and personally. your a fuckhead
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Have we met? As far as I know, not. So I doubt you can talk about me in either case. Anyway, I don't know who you are but wish you a nice holiday just the same.
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come on over here to Africa. it's 1 am and its like 80 degrees.
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I think I'll wait for you to review Benjamin Button. If its anything like your Valkyrie review, I'll be laughing well into the new year.
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It was posted just after BNAT. Enjoy - http://www.aintitcool.com/node/39479
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You hope that Charleston Heston is burning in hell?
You do realize that you are talking about a man who, as an ultimate A-list actor in a much less tolerant time, risked everything - career, money, maybe even his life - to march with Martin Luther King at a time when good white actors simply did not do that sort of thing.
Don't like his gun stance? Fine. I won't argue the morality of gun ownership with you. Suffice to say that it has been an American right for 200 years, one that our founding fathers specifically spoke of, and one that tens of millions of your fellow citizens cherish. The demonization of guns has only occurred in the last 40 years or so. So, when you are talking about something that is viewed as a fundamental right by millions of Americans, it behooves you to recognize that there just MIGHT be some merit to their position, and that even though you may like it, they are still Americans and worthy of respect - or at least civility. To say that someone should go to hell because of a political belief that up to 50 years ago wasn't even in question shows an appalling ignorance and also horrifying intolerance.
Old man Heston stood for what he believed in. You may not like some of what he believed in - but you should at least show respect. -
My mom believes in gun rights. Does Mastidon want her to rot in Hell? Along with millions of other Americans who feel similarly?
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Obviously you haven't read what I wrote. If you had, you would have seen that I am a firm believer in gun rights. What I am opposed to is some wacko showing up to protest for gun rights immediately after a tragedy. Have some respect for the dead and their families.
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