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Twitch & AICN Present: International Eye Candy!! LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS, STORM WARRIORS, FIGHTER, MEAT GRINDER, And More!!
International Eye Candy
December 9, 2008
Yes, boys and girls, once again it is Todd from Twitch here to dazzle and astound with yet another collection of wonders and oddities from around the globe. Once again it is time for International Eye Candy. But before beginning with the Eye Candy proper I'm going to take a wee moment of your time to plug a little something.
Twitch is trying a little something new this weekend for three days only – December 12th, 13th and 14th – we will be streaming a complete film for free within our pages. Why mention this here? Well, let's just say I read the talkbacks and have noticed - *ahem* - a certain fondness for free movies amongst the IEC readership. It's all about you, kids, it's all about you. The film in question is Robert Pratten's MINDFLESH, a very Cronenbergian stew of sex, psychosis and alien invasion. You can find trailers for it here. So, once again, that's MINDFLESH, for free, on Twitch this coming Friday through Sunday. And there aint nothin' cheaper than free.
There, now. And to thank you for sitting through my little advertisement I now present to you the brand new poster for Phil Claydon's LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS. Life is better because this film exists. And now onwards!
We begin our trek in Hong Kong with the first teaser for STORM WARRIORS, the digital backlot sequel to hugely successful kung fu fantasy STORM RIDERS. Production on this is being handled basically in the same style as 300 by the Pang Brothers, who have a tendency to be light on story but very high on visuals and, speaking as someone who saw a good but more than is included in this teaser during AFM, this is looks absolutely gorgeous. It's a long way from being released yet – almost exactly a year – and nowhere close to being done but it's looking good so far.
Check the STORM WARRIORS teaser here
Anybody out there catch Natasha Arthy's FIGHTER when it screened at Fantastic Fest? A fantastic little film, this is, anchored by a real life national champion martial artist who also happens to be one fine actress, and the brand new UK trailer is also fantastic, though also one of the most incredibly misleading trailers I've seen in ages. This is not – I repeat not – a film about vigilante justice, though it is nice to pretend it is for the minute and a half the trailer runs. I think they stuffed clips from every action sequence in the film into there …
Check the FIGHTER trailer here
Anybody eat any sort of Asian noodle soup today? Or Thai food of any variety? You sir? You over there? Okay then, do NOT watch the trailer for upcoming Thai horror flick MEAT GRINDER. Believe me, this presents possibilities you just don't want to dwell on. I know we've all heard stories about restaurants serving cat meat but this … this one goes into the canon of squirmingly uncomfortable food films right next to Fruit Chan's so-damn-good-I-can-never-watch-it-again DUMPLINGS. Be aware: this one brings the gore.
< href=http://twitchfilm.net/site/view/thailand-lays-on-the-gore-with-meat-grinder/>Sample the MEAT GRINDER here
I know remarkably little about Russia's GENERATION P other than the fact that it's based on a popular novel and charts the life of a slacker turned petty black-marketeer turned full on gangster as the old Soviet Union shakes off it's communist ways and embraces capitalism. It manages to look hard-assed and nostalgic at the same time, such a difficult trick to pull off that I simply must see it at the earliest opportunity.
Check the GENERATION P trailer here
ICHI THE KILLER director Takashi Miike doing a goofy, physics-defying, big budget, live action adaptation of a popular anime series? Is there anything else you really need to know about YATTERMAN? I love Miike in family-friendly mode – ZEBRAMAN is a big favorite of mine – and this looks to fit the bill nicely. We've posted early teasers for this one before but those showed next to nothing. The first proper trailer has just arrived and it's much better, giving a first proper look at characters, environments, mecha, everything a growing boy needs.
Check the YATTERMAN trailers here
Forget THE 36TH CHAMBER OF SHAOLIN, the Master Killer is going to Bollywood, baby! That's right, Gordon Liu himself is playing a major role in upcoming Bollywood action comedy CHANDNI CHOWK TO CHINA and whoever realized that the old Shaw Brothers aesthetic is a perfect fit with Bollywood song and dance is absolutely brilliant. I loved the first teaser for this but a full length theatrical trailer and music video have both just arrived and the more I see the more I like. Sure, it's Bollywood so it'll be half an hour too long but tell me you're not itching to see more of Liu slinging that bowler around after checking the trailer …
Join CHANDNI CHOWK here!
I have never had a teacher like Haruka Ayase. I have never had a gym teacher that looked anywhere remotely as good as she does and I've never had a teacher who looked as good as she does agree to show me her breasts if I only go out and win a volleyball tournament. But that's what she does in OPPAI VOLLEYBALL, a film the prdocuers say is based on a true story. Given that Ayase is a pretty serious, very popular up-and-coming actress in Japan there's virtually no chance that she's actually going to flash any skin whatsoever in this film but, good lord, those marketing guys are geniuses.
OPPAI VOLLEYBALL makes sports fun again!
Hmmm … it looks as though Korea is starting to get interesting again, thanks in no small part to the slowly surging wave of young, independent film makers there. And one of the more interesting projects coming soon is WRITTEN, a surreal psychological thriller about a man who wakes up in a tub full of water missing a kidney and gradually comes to realize that he is a character in a movie still in the progress of being written. Fun concept – albeit a tough one to pull off – and a pretty gripping visual style make this one to watch.
Check the WRITTEN trailer here
Okay, that's enough Asia for a bit, we're going to France now where production is well underway for BANLIEUE 13: ULTIMATUM, the sequel to the hugely popular action flick released here as DISTRICT B13. Nope, no trailer yet but the producers have been releasing a steady stream of behind the scenes videos, a stream that arrived at number 13 last week. And what to do with your 13th peek at B13? Show off your fighting, of course, with a clip showing star/choreographer Cyril Raffaelli planning, rehearsing and then tearing through a fight at full speed. Sweet!
Answer the ULTIMATUM here
From France we hop over a border or two to Austria where we find director Andreas Prochaska back at his old, bloody tricks in the full trailer for his slasher picture DEAD IN THREE DAYS 2. Yup, the original was the first slasher ever produced in Austria and it was such a big local hit that they started immediately on the sequel. Prochaska doesn't really aim to re-create the genre with these things but he shoots lean, nasty film and that can go a looooooong way.
Get DEAD here
Need a break from all the blood and violence? How's about a bit of animation to cleanse the palette? Tom Moore's BRENDAN AND THE SECRET OF KELLS has been long in coming but it's just about done now and while the story is a bit of an odd choice for a kid's film – the Book of Kells is a famously ornate hand painted Bible from Ireland and its creation figures large in the story here – but it gives Moore a stunning visual language to muck about in and muck he does. Very, very pretty stuff.
Check the new KELLS trailer here
Looking to scratch a more abstract animation itch? Then I recommend a trip to Poland where you'll find animation house Platige Image – one of the truly great unknowns in the world of animation – and the trailer for their latest short, CHICK. Platige does simple stunning work – I've never seen anything from them that I haven't absolutely loved – and this is no exception. Simple, striking, stunning.
Take a look at CHICK here
South-west now to Spain, and the brand new trailer for RAMIREZ. The subtle serial-killer flick had it's world premiere as a work in progress at the Sitges festival in September and is now just about ready to be unleashed on the world at large. The trailer's one tight little piece of work but the real draw here has got to be the voice over guy. Seriously, this guy's brilliant.
Check the RAMIREZ trailer here
FOREVER ENTHRALLED should have been Chinese auteur Chen Kaige's triumphant return to form after the botched genre experiment that was THE PROMISE. It is, after all, the sort of film where he first made his name, a lush period drama revolving around the live of a famed opera singer, played here by Zhang Ziyi. All the early press was strong and then Kaige got swept up in the storm surrounding Edison Chen's sex photo scandal, a scandal that forced Chen's retirement from Hong Kong film. And, no, Chen's not in this film but Gillian Chung – one of his well photographed partners – is, or at least she was until the family of Mei Lanfang – the aforementioned opera star – complained that her involvement would tarnish the image of their beloved ancestor. So out Chung went, her entire part simply edited out of the film. Can it survive the hack job? Nobody knows yet but the first trailer looks awfully good.
Check the FOREVER ENTHRALLED trailer here
Sometimes stupid is fun and Danny Trejo battling evil surveillance robots definitely qualifies as both. It's EYEBORGS and it's got a brand new trailer. Whee!
Check the EYEBORGS trailer here
We're nearing the end now but before we wrap things up we head back to Japan and upcoming animated feature HELL'S ANGELS. Now, how's this for a creative team. The director drew the Japanese RETURN OF THE JEDI manga adaptation. The character designer worked on Shinichiro Watanabe's SAMURAI CHAMPLOO. Creatures? Yeah, the guy who did those also worked with Guillermo Del Toro on HELLBOY. Expectations high? Damn straight. Trailer living up to them? You betcha.
Check the HELL'S ANGELS trailer here
And, finally, we finish up back in Korea with A FROZEN FLOWER. The latest film from the director of A DIRTY CARNIVAL and ONCE UPON A TIME IN HIGH SCHOOL finds him jumping n the historical epic bandwagon. But, you know, Yu Ha wouldn't be Yu Ha if he was content with doing things the same was as everyone else and so he's gone and made his big historical epic a gay one, casting major heart throb Zo In-sung – about to go on his mandatory military service for a couple years and thus free of any backlash worries – as a gay bodyguard to the king. Gay or not, however, it all falls apart if the film isn't any good and the trailer looks fantastic.
Check the FROZEN FLOWER trailer here
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New Twitch! Finally!
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YATTA
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Dec 11, 2008 11:11:32 AM CST
This thing slides into my computer like a dream!
by franklin t marmoset
Oh, yeah... That is soooo much better.
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Danny Trejo vs. the Eyeborgs? awesome!
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Feels good. Now, must read about Twitchs latest goodies.
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I was told to talk to you about Zhura.
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Dec 11, 2008 11:17:39 AM CST
These lesbian vampire killers of which you speak
by franklin t marmoset
Are they lesbians who kill vampires?Or regular folks who have a specific interest in killing lesbian vampires?
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yea, Danny-boy gave me a heads-up. We would love to have you, but last I tried to add someone, I couldnt. Don't post your info back here, but I saw the info from before, so I'll try and add you.
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Perhaps the Lesbian Vampires are heartbreakers who seduce achick, then ditch said chick... leaving them emotionally dead?
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I get this delightful and roomy new thread to stretch out in, and it's time to go home.I ain't even mentioned Gilmore Girls today!Oh, well. Night all.
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We wouldn't do something like that. Slanderous aspersion to cast on our characters. Hmph. I feel wronged. And a bit dirty.
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Hokey smokes! That looks seriously wicked! I had to go over to the Twitch site and do a search in order to see the trailer, but damn, it is worth it! Great gore fest.
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Do not deny it.
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Dec 11, 2008 11:26:59 AM CST
I love how the Yatterman "Y" logo looks like a big jock...
by flickapoo
...strap. The cartoon ran on TV when I was a kid. Wasn't one of my favorites, but it's trippy fun to attempt it in live action...
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quaint archaic term for persons that copy and share around material such as software, films and music without purchasing it properly. Mr. Twitch seems to think we do such things. We would never, for example, illegally download a film such as Highlander: The Source from a site such as *cough* Cinemmageddan *cough*.
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What's that?
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but so does Lesbian Vampire Killers. I think it's a team of crack lesbian operatives that kill vampires and then shower together. At least I hope so. I remember watching some shady Italian film from the seventies about a female Vampire that killed men by sucking all the jism out of them. And no, it wasn't porn. It was rubbish though.
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It's something I once heard about from someone in the pub. No idea how you do it. Or even if you need any special stuff for it.
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Thought I'd get a rise out of you with the free movie crack ... sometimes I amuse myself.
And, for the record - and it's a question I myself asked many time - it is the vampires who are lesbians. And rather fetching, scantily clad ones at that. The killers are a couple of British comics from the Gavin and Stacey show. I've seen an extended promo for this and, yes, it lives up to the premise. -
Well, let's just say I read the talkbacks and have noticed - *ahem* - a certain fondness for free movies amongst the IEC readership.
I think it's that the IEC has a certain fondness for SEEING these films, not necessarily because they are free. It's all well and good to showcase these films, but outside of means other than heading out to our multiplex, some of these flicks we would never see.
But hey, we are missing the point. TWITCH just put a free film. That's really cool, and thanks for the heads-up. You rock! -
Knock off Nigel buys KNOCK OFF DVDS. Next time that advert plays, I'm going to go fucking crazy and post a video called 'Knock Off Nigel Gets All Da Loving' on Youtube just to spite those pricks who made that shitty fucking advert.
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The Lesbian Vampire Killers poster is being loaded up more than three times as often as the second most popular bit in this post. Whoever decided to build a film around that title is a genius ...
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From the director of the fucked up Ichi? Thats like Romero directing Disney. Ok.
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Dec 11, 2008 11:38:08 AM CST
Don't be a Knock off Nigel, Jarv!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
That's just wrong.
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There's a film called 'Colin' that I saw at a convention. It's a zombie film from a zombies POV set in Wales. Was proper class.
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I didn't mean much of anything by that comment Jonah, but if people want to find legal copies of the stuff I write about I can steer you to legit, subtitled DVD releases for most of them - particularly the Asian stuff. Hong Kong and Korean DVDs pretty much always include subtitles.
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Dec 11, 2008 11:40:43 AM CST
You wouldn't steal a car... you wouldn't steal a purse...
by mr. zeddemore
... you wouldn't steal a film... GAH
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Just the welsh.
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Did the latest Ultraman get a DVD release yet?
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the asian stuff, for the most part is easy enough to find in legit copies. And I own several of these legit copies. Some of the russian stuff and other european films are sometimes hard to get hands on.
I've been trying to find legit copies of Aziris Nuna for a few years now, and I'm waiting for a legit copy of Negative Happy, Chainsaw Edge as well.
Most of these films I'd gladly pick up, but it's nice to of at least seen them once before buying.
I got burned on Immortel and Natural City and Vidocq by buying somewhat pricey legit copies years ago online, only to find out the movies were AWFUL. -
that by picking up those legit copies, thats how I came across Hero, Twilight Samurai, Casshern(which I really liked, though some hated it), Ping Pong and Ong Bak significantly earlier than they were released over here.
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Dec 11, 2008 11:47:34 AM CST
I would be satisfied with a copy of Outlander Jonah
by chittychittygangbang
But I would love to see Storm Warriors (and Storm Riders) too.
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whenever it shows up. Twitch, will you be putting up an end of the year "best TWITCH films" write-up or something over at Twitch or here?
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The Good=TWITCH....The Bad=Harry always late with the DVD column....The Ugly=Script Girl AKA Worst part of AICN.
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"The 2008 films that scratched your itch: By Twitch."
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that came up with them. I am a pikey bastard, and I would rob almost everything in that stupid "Downloading is stealing" ad. Apart from the Ford POS. That car is rubbish
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See you later guys. Have a good Twitch.
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Do people who make pirate videos put the 'knock off Nigel' ad before the films for the sake of irony.
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Check this out guys:
This guy lives in the town I grew up in, and in addition to being a teacher(he headed up a nature camp sort of thing) he is also prominent in the , ahem, Sasquatch community.
http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/Bad-Santas-Wish-List-Weed-and-Shrooms.html -
Santa's on the crunk, yo?
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That Santa guy is the shit. All of his hobbies rock.
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Dec 11, 2008 12:36:09 PM CST
I would like to see that Santa's vision of Ho! Ho! Ho!
by chittychittygangbang
Kick Ass!
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Oh, man, I feel your pain on that one, Jonah. Trailers were so good but the film was so very, very bad ...
No to the Ultraman so far, to my knowledge it's not even on disc in Japan yet, but I want it bad.
I _believe_ Negative Happy has been licensed for North America, though it's with a company that tends to pay for their licenses in very small installments so it'll take a while before they can release it. I'm hoping for an HK release of that one soon. I've seen it, it's fun though much more a coming of age story than you might think.
And, yeah, I really should get around to doing a year-end wrap up ... -
Oh, man, I feel your pain on that one, Jonah. Trailers were so good but the film was so very, very bad ...
No to the Ultraman so far, to my knowledge it's not even on disc in Japan yet, but I want it bad.
I _believe_ Negative Happy has been licensed for North America, though it's with a company that tends to pay for their licenses in very small installments so it'll take a while before they can release it. I'm hoping for an HK release of that one soon. I've seen it, it's fun though much more a coming of age story than you might think.
And, yeah, I really should get around to doing a year-end wrap up ... -
I have done my damn best to spread appreciation of Asian, and as of late European, film to the masses. And I think the world is a better place as a result.Awesome selection of movies showcased this week. And as I'm taking my wife out for Thai food tonight, I think I'll hold off on watching Meat Grinder until tomorrow.Twitch, I've got Dachimawa Lee, Painted Skin, Eye For An Eye and Rough Cut sitting at home. Am I going to be pleased or disappointed?
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RICK ASTLEY FOR UK XMAS NUMBER ONE!!!!!!!!
http://www.ultimaterickroll.com
JOIN THE GLOBAL CAMPAIGN THAT EVEN MADE RICK ASTLEY'S WEBSITE
http://www.rickastley.co.uk
50,000+ SUPPORTERS IN TWO WEEKS AND COUNTING!!!!! -
That movie is 12 kinds of bad ass. I suppose I should have included that one in people's Christmas cards.Are you sure you're watching the right Korean films, Twitch? Between The Chaser, Public Enemy Returns, The Guard Post, Good Bad Weird, Action Boys and the potential of Mandate and Once Upon A Time In Seoul, it's already surpassed last year's lackluster offerings by leaps and bounds.
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and all I can say is damn.
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now to check out some of the new movies here...
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She's awfully cute, but I don't like the looks of that movie. So all the fights are in slow-mo? And it looks matrix-y. No thanks. Next..
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I swear that Lady works at our local Asian Restuarant.
Only in the Deep South could she hide from international authorities and still cook. -
Would love to know what they are saying
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I'm still fucking around over at the other one? No one said anything. Fuck.
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And Thai food... And Twitch... Toto, we're home!
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Ha ha!
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I love those overhead shots of the city and bridges and then the red amchine on the water.
Rminds me of some of the great overhead work on The Host
*eyes getting wet with precious memories* -
....but he is hung like a fucking bison.
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And to Jonah and Kungfu too I guess.*grumbles under breath*
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Could potentially be great...
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Dec 11, 2008 1:40:03 PM CST
for some reason the title THE EYE OF THE WHORE....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...just popped in my head. Could potentially be a Colin Firth starring vehicle. I'm not sure if its a jungle/adventurer film about a hidden temple or a pulpy noir detective film. Hhhhhmmmm.......
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But pirates are special. And I don't care if Kid Rock is hung like a sperm whale, his personality reeks.
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I hate that type of shit.
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You think his personality reeks? You should smell his balls after a concert in Hotlanta, Georgia.
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Dec 11, 2008 1:46:07 PM CST
Zombie Lesbians would be greater than Zombie Strippers
by just pillow talk
And perhaps Hulked out midget Lesbian women for Frankie.
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Maybe if you pepper it enough it will cover the odor.
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That lady has the crazy-killer look in the eye down perfectly, and I like gory stuff. Looks like fun!
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You are so sick.
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Mwa ha ha!
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The chaps on zhura have some interesting ideas...
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I would buy that movie, legit. I am a disgrace to real pirates. ;)
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Did you get added to our group? And FYI....don't ever say the full Z word again on here.
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The trailer for that looked faboo.
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Not yet. I'm confused. Ah, righteo. My bad.
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Apatow gets his wings. :0
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Jonah is still looking into it. You have to be invited, but for some reason its not working at the moment inviting new people...
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...Apatow grows some balls.
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No matter what you dip them in.
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I can withstand ludicrous gore like Machine Girl but when torture is involved, I need smelling salts.Twitch, any chance your year end wrap up can focus on Thai movies we might have missed? Those fine folks really seem to be coming on strong.
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Does a Kevin Smith film make a profit at the cinema?
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Dealing with this group hasn't created an immunity to that sort of stuff yet?
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Are insane. There are some decent ideas there but if you take a day or two to actually read the scripts, you realize why most fanboy's scripts don't go any further than their coffee table.
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If you say it 10 times, Jason Mewes will give you a lap dance during a Kevin Smith film while Apatow offers you a selection of sauces in shallow bowls.
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If you say it 15 times, does Seth Rogen try to get around the fact that he smokes weed?
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But ya wouldn't want us any other way.
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MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Thats funnier than anything he has written in ten years.
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That guy gets loads of pussy cause he looks like Fozzy Bear.
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If you go beyond the 10th time, you are crazier than any of us. You may need help!
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Fozzy Bear is funny.
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Does Fozzy Bear attract you more than the rankness of Rock? These are issues that should be brought up so that we know what we are really dealing with around here.
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(Dickblood backs up slowly and whistles lightly.....you can cut the tension with a knife in here)
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The forbidden fabric.
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Dec 11, 2008 2:12:33 PM CST
I can't believe we've waited two weeks for a new Twitch
by hawaiian organ donor
Only to end up discussing Kid Rock's ball sweat.Harry and his BNAT's has me thinking that I should hold an annual film festival at my place for the CoC.24 hours of drinking and chain smoking and a finger on the pause button when sweater puppies grace the screen.
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....but I'd fuck the spit out of a Fraggle.
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24 hours of drinking? Fuck, I think I would be unconscious for a week. I tend to start slow, and then about two hours in I start kicking it up a notch until I stare at my hand and start thinking about vortexes.
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They rawk. End of.
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I'd drink now if I didn't have a cold.
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Danny has revealed his secret fetish! He want to go down at Fraggle/Rock. And you call me sick?
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Hide your daughter's toys before Danny shows up. Can you imagine the cost of that cleaning bill? Yeesh!
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....to actually get us together. I suggest leaving Chitty out of it. Something would surely explode in your living room if her was involved.
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Too far....too far.
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If I've gone top far for you, then I have surpassed my expectations. The new Danny Trejo movie looks wicked! Better?
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Freakin sweet. Just what I needed for the winter break from school. I leave for Kansas Saturday so I think I'll wait until I'm there and I'm all isolated from my friends to dive into the movies. Thanks for the card too. I picked up the package from a friend at a party and everyone was amazed that you just gave people free DVDs.Ah cinema, the greatest gift of all.
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It's almost racist towards celluloid.
Anything that involves fantasy or ancient times is now "300" tinged.
Urgh! -
Did I tell you my girlfriend and I were fraggles for Christmas? Damn sexy fraggles too. She looked just like Red.
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I hate how whenever there's a gap in the schedule, they bung another period drama on TV.
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but I will be back when I'm done so I can watch all those juicy looking trailers.
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This guy doing a 'French accent' makes Steve Martin look like Gerald Depardieu.
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WITH heavy drinking? That sounds pretty damn cool. Except my pacing when I drink is horrible. I'm fine for about two hours, only to be heavily inebriated about an hour after that.
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and it's one of the smarter movies I have seen all year. I had about three shots of rum and egg nog in me and about five beers, so I think that made it extra enjoyable. But the Tom Cruise character and Jack Black freaking out without his drugs were the two best parts.I am an unapologetic fan of Jack Black, and probably won't stop being one until he releases a real turd. And I love how they didn't use him too much in this. In fact, all the characters had a nice balance in the movie. Even Alpa Chino and the straight kid had some great lines.
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...it was stuffed with a fleshlight. Now that is what I call a Memorial Day.
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but the tail gets in the way. It's fun to watch it bobbing around while you're doing the dirty though.
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I'd be totally down for that. It would be great to have a programmed film fest-especially if everyone had some hand in the choices. Brilliant.
And HOD, don't sweat Ultraman...I'm looking for it right now, out on the open waters, yo-ho.
Oh, HOD, did you watch Inhalata 1944? Im curious about your thoughts on it. -
It would've been funnier if Billy Bob made no attempt to be redeemable, but there's moments of pure 'fuck Christmas' fun.
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I'm glad the discs got to you intact.Tropic Thunder was great stuff. When the Cruiser told the key grip to punch the director, I damn near died laughing.
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Sometimes I wonder if these adverts are metaphors for homosexual sex.
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You know when he first hooked it up with Katie he said, "Oh baby....that young pussy is cruisin' for a bruisin'."
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Dec 11, 2008 3:05:37 PM CST
I think we need to have a review site we write on
by chittychittygangbang
Can you imagine the twisted prose to which eyes would be introduced to?
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Buy. More. DVD's. This fucking wait list shit sucks.
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...we need our own fucking movie site. That is an idea. Why couldn't we start our own site where CoC were the mods and we each had our own reviews and areas we cover?
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What if all of us C of C people made our own site? I think it's a possibility we could totally look into.
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Dec 11, 2008 3:10:03 PM CST
I'll tell you what, if next year is the year I'm hoping
by hawaiian organ donor
It to be, then hells ya, I'm going to host a movie weekend. It'll be the Sore Ass A-Th........wait, that don't sound right........let's just call it The Drunkening.I watched that Finnish war movie, Jonah. It was interesting. Regardless of whether the movie is bad or good, I always appreciate another country's take on war. But Assembly will blow you away. That's easily tied with Stalingrad and Tae Guk Gi as the best foreign war films these eyes have seen.
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That someone here *ahem* has a CoC movie review site where they have repeatedly invited you all to join and submit reviews?
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spanning the whole male age group that is most interested in movies. I would totally dedicate myself to that. You wouldn't see late shit coming from me, unlike SOME people who have a DVD column they need to do.
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I was suggesting this last week..and actually, back when we started Zhura. Back then, Hod mentioned he had a site space for use. Is that still true HOD?
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on every movie known to man. That shit is fascinating.
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I've seen your site, but I don't remember an invitation to write a review....
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I'll do a Bad Santa review for tomorrow.
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I didnt find it compelling as a narrative, but you know what was cool? It really felt like a document of warfare. Like that was the whole pointof the film. It was pretty interesting, but I wasn't satisfied on a narrative level. Still, thanks dude. I don't think I would have watched it without your prompting, and I cant wait to show chunks of it to my friends who are war/history buffs.
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He makes Katie dress up as every character he has had sex with onscreen in his career and they act out the scenes EXCACTLY as they did in the movies.
This includes sets being built and full film crews being on hand to film the events for record keeping and possible constructive criticing by Cruise.
Katie as hooker in train from Risky Business!
Katie as high school girlfriend in All the Right Moves!
Katie as McGillis in Top Gun!
She would finally get to the end (This would all happen in a single day of course) and collapse in a heap of sweat and smoking piss fenders.
At this point Cruise would look down and say "Guess Dawson's Creek will be dry for a little while...by the way, congratulations you're my new toy and PR instrument." -
...I think it just might work. The only problem is the technical end. The writing is no problem. HOD is familiar with that kinda shit.
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though we just got tickets to DTESS in Imax for tonight, so it might go on the backburner.
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That I have invited people to submit reviews (or anything at all) to my site. Chipps has been the only one so far to take me up on that. Think about that...Chipps saw it and he's trashed half the time when he's posting!
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I want to see Danny's reviews for every movie. His taste and what he likes and dislikes are always a toss-up. I love it! He would blow people's minds.
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I can learn. I used to do website design.
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we could write reviews for you? I would love to! I just don't know how I could get it to you, or put it on the site, or however that works. I am not very computer savvy.
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to submit reviews. She has since the site's conception. I think it would be cool to have something that was a joint effort though, with no top dog-just a group of various reviewers. We could all create (or keep our current) personas and post reviews. Like this place, but not on the take.
JK. -
There is a contact/submission form on the front page.
http://www.mymavra.com/ I would seriously love to have anything written (or even pics like the one from Chipps) at any time and you would, naturally, get full credit. -
I just havent got a chance yet...helping nurse my wife back to wellness, and taking care of the house stuff has been drawing most of my attention.
But I should have DETSS, Happy Go Lucky, Timecrimes, The Assembly, Black Balloon, Encounters at the End of the World and Frost/Nixon reviews soon.
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I've got a site I haven't updated in 3 years and yet year after year I pay the hosting fees and domain re-registration. It started off as a social awareness site but the world is such a miserable hopeless cesspool, who needs further reminding. And besides, last time I went to look at it I received a warning that the site is infected. So I'll be happy to take the whole thing down and relaunch it as a movie review site. Just give me the word folks.Just one thing. My web design skills have suffered greatly in the last three years so I'd need help from someone who knows a thing or two.
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I would even be willing to change the name of the site, if you would all be interested.
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I could suggest another person, other than Jonah, who I'm sure wold be willing to help you with web-building. And I appreciate your remembering my invite, Jonah. :)
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I agree.....it would be cool if its more a committee thing, like we discuss changes to layout and vote democratically. I think this could really work. And see how it goes for awhile and eventually start trying to get advertising revenue if its a success..
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this is getting really exciting.
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It would be neat if its not just movies, but general entertainment-- tv shows, music, comics, whatever the fuck. I know I could go one some weird rambles about some random shit and make it an interesting read.
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I didn't mean to act like I didn't know your site exists. I've been there a few times. The only reason I was suggesting my old site is the name sort of suits guys like Danny, Jarv, Node and myself and I didn't want to sully up your little slice of heaven with what will no doubt become the most foul mouthed, rage-a-holic site on the planet.If not reviews, then someone suggest something else. I blow $100 a year on that mess and I have nothing to show for it.
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It should be the home of our ramblings.......doesn't just have to be films, but all things that kick ass. Thats where each of our personas would come in-- we are all interested in different things. It could become something similar to: www.avclub.com
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Reviewed. I've seen the film before, so I just went off of memory.
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I just wanted you all to know that the offer has always been there and will continue to be there. CoC is still CoC, no matter which of us does it.
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...I think it should be at the Z-Dive.
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but the possibilities of other things to come has me really excited. I would love to make this happen. Let me know whatever I can do to help guys. Happy chatting!
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Seriously, if we do this... please let me rant about Heroes.
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This is some funny shit.
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I have experience. I've written reviews for a website before. Even got paid to do it.
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...seems funny to be discussing this and suddenly some random jack ass drops in screaming "YOUR IDEA FUCKING BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWS!!! FUCK YOU ALL"
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Still, I'll watch any war movie and I love to see how other countries portray the moral struggles soldiers have to deal with. I still need to find time to watch 9th Company, Kippur and Beaufort. And I've put in Devils on the Doorstep several times, I get a few minutes in and some damn family issue interrupts. It's like the universe is determined that I don't watch it.
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We csn still link them, right? I got first dibs on that at least.
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....and Kung, and Winston, and of course Mavra.
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Watch Casualties Of War. It makes Platoon look even better.
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Messaged you at Z
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Just about to post the review on my livejournal.
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http://tinyurl.com/5td7pw
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If Mavs wishes to have us post movie reviews on her site, then I can turn my place into a rant zone, so as Danny suggests, we can discuss stuff from why Node thinks Heroes sucks to Danny listing types of bacteria that have more talent than Apatow to the Donor's weekly shark tank candidate.The Shark Tank. I like that. That'll be my zone.
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I'm going to the other place to see the results.
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Much obliged!
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This film is fucking hilarious.
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And yet we still exist.
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You can message me in one of the other places if you don't want to say here. I got the add-ons done for there and for facebook.
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Let's get this shit started!
Also we can just send in reviews and it can be a surprise the next day when you read it, as we won't know when a review is going to pop up unless the author says they will be reviewing it soon. -
Devils on the Doorstep. I just really want to get that movie out to people.
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Dec 11, 2008 3:47:52 PM CST
I can see Danny and I sitting on a balcony reviewing movies
by hawaiian organ donor
Me: Up next, we review the new Judd Apatow movie. So Danny, what'd you think?Danny: Fuck that cunt, I couldn't bring myself to watch it. I went next door and watched Transformers 3 instead.Me: I couldn't watch it either. OK, so we agree, the new Judd Apatow movie is unwatchable. Our next movie is...
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Dec 11, 2008 3:48:02 PM CST
JR: There's something about the guy that makes me feel uneasy
by mr. zeddemore
BM: Well sure, Santa fucking someone in the ass.
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Mr. Zeddemore works.
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She looks like fucking Skeletor. http://tinyurl.com/6gozhu
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No. Neither is Alba.
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even funnier would be me and Jonah. JONAH: Well...I found In The Bedroom to be a bit dull at times. DANNY: Give me a break, it was FUCKING BORING!!
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Me and Node would be the funniest and most brutal.
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http://tinyurl.com/6jhvzk
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Did you guys hear about the actor who slit his throat after he used a real knife instead of a blunt one? It's like Diagnosis Murder come to life... only without the murder.
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OK, folks, let's do this. I'll communicate through the Z-drive going forward.
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If you want to add me, I'm listed under 'Ian Austin.'
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honestly, that could be brilliant. Never since Siskel and Ebert have I seen two people have the same sentiment on a movie, and yet still have such a vigorous debate on it.
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Fuck, I hate Kung Fu Panda.
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don't give out your name here...
and I can't add you, though I tried. Zhura is being dumb. -
have seen it three times. Ha, we are gonna have a great time!
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Too late for the name front, that bridge is long gone.
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I leave you bastards for a few hours and you run riot over the new Twitch discussing Kid Rocks sweaty balls and Fraggle fucking!*Head rotates in a clockwise then anti-clockwise direction in disgust*And Danny, what about NEW TWITCH!!!! GO GO GO!!! didn't you understand?
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Her body is okay. But she still looks sorta like a tranny. She's got that Mr. Ed face goin' on.
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if a dude named Egg Salad shows up at your door and wants to see your puppy, say no!
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Didn't see that. I just sat over there with my dick my hand like a fucking asshole.
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Dec 11, 2008 4:07:00 PM CST
At least you spent your time wisely...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
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The Day the Earth Stood Still... The original one... How I've never seen it is beyond me. But I figure I have to because Mrs Droid wants to see the Keanu shitfest, so I want to be able to say how god-awful it is compared to the original afterwards.
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WHOA
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Dec 11, 2008 4:12:15 PM CST
I like to sit on my high horse...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
and point out the inadequacies of these pointless remakes.
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...just not to the group?
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Dec 11, 2008 4:13:27 PM CST
But the only way I can do it...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
is to actually have seen the original!
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Seeing as how I hate eggs anyway, if he showed up I'd kick his ass.
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I should hate them, but The Thing was a great remake.
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I have no problem if the remake expands the story or provides a different take on the concept. It's fucking pointless remakes that bring nothing fresh that I despise.
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I think the main difference between the original and the remake is that the original was so far ahead of its time in terms of thoughts on the neglect of the environment, while the remake looks very much like a product of our current time rather than a perspective into the future.
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Fuck... there's my next review, right there. There WILL be blood!
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Isn't the original a comment on nuclear weapons, while the new one is more about the environment?
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Great job, Mr. Z. Thanks so much!
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Dec 11, 2008 4:28:05 PM CST
The best remake of recent years IMO is...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
3:10 To Yuma. Great film that expands on the original story and the original movie wasn't perfect or memorable.A justified remake.Shit like Texas Chainsaw Massacre does not require a remake.
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Suffered from the director loving it TOO much. That film needed serious trimming. At least 45 minutes chopped. At least. The whole dino stampede? Gone! And it shouldn't take a fucking hour to get to the island. That was a definite coulda been.The one time when a director has too much control over his film. Someone needed to get in his ear and tell him not to be so self-indulgent.
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Is that there's people here... and people I know in real life who would make an AWESOME Friday the 13th film if allowed.
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but I think the original is vastly superior. It's a more contained story, where every creature has a purpose, and is usually present to react to Kong. The remake has a lot of unnecessary scenes, even if they were fun. Like the bug scene.
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Just so unnecessary in a three hour film to have a dino stampede that achieves nothing but bumping off a couple of extras! Just have fewer extras and cut the scene. The movies automatically 20 minutes shorter!
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I fixed Merman.
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ALIENS? Niiiiiiiicccccce.
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yah I did the same thing earlier this week...totally surprised by how well it aged. Also the nuclear threat as opposed to environmental worked perfectly, sucks they changed that.
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Thanks for the free film, mate! I'll look forward to checking that one out. Cheers again.
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Had to update it for the An Inconvenient Truth crowd i suppose.
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That was classy of him to offer us a movie, wasn't it?
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I still don't see The Thing as a "remake." Another adaption of 'Who Goes There?', yeh - but not a remake in the true sense.
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Yeh, that's brilliant. Funnily enough I was wondering if the Twitch site was able to play some of the movies they trailer in full. I don't suppose that's possible...
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any of these films playing anywhere, or on DVD. The only one I've clocked so far was 'Baader Meinhof Complex,' at a little city centre cinema called The Cornerhouse which plays quite a few foreign language films. Unfortunately, I couldn't make the showing and the following weekend it was gone.
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#
# 19th-century New York was recreated on the lot of Cinecitta studios in Rome. When George Lucas visited the massive set, he reportedly turned to Martin Scorsese and said that sets like that can be done with computers now. Sometimes, I really dislike George Lucas. -
They got it perfect the second time. Why mess with perfection. Twitch had a link to movies not long ago, remember? Maybe the same this time. It will be appreciated anyhow. I've got to go for a bit. You'll probably be asleep before I get back, Wolf, so have a great night. Later!
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Almost asleep now. So, yeh, I will be...
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Mav, the review on your site sounds intriguing
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I took over control of the merchandising not because I thought it was going to make me rich, but because I wanted to control it. I wanted to make a stand for social, safety, and quality reasons. I didn't want someone using the name 'Star Wars' on a piece of junk.
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How are you, man?
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Or Krusty The Clown?
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I couldn't tell the difference if I tried.
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I am very well. Thank you. Watching and really good or really bad movies this weekend?
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This weekend
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Time for alcohol./
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I'll never forgive him for the 'Han Shoots First' fiasco. He fucked around with it not once but twice - and ruined the scene. He seems to have forgotten that audiences loved Star Wars the way it was. Nobody had a problem with Solo blowing away Greedo - it was kill or be killed. Plus, Solo is a pirate, that's what pirates do!
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I thought Pirates were Knock off Nigels? Has TV been lying to me again... cause if so!
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I might put a HOD movie on, I've got plenty of those he sent me to watch.Also got Hellboy 2 and The Dark Knight - but I'll save those for Christmas, I think. I've not seen Hellboy 2 so am looking forward to that. Probably check out Day The Earth Stood Still next weekend as well.What have you got lined up?
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I watched E.T. on TV, for the first time in over twenty years, and something was bugging the hell out of me about the opening scene. The gov't guys were carrying weird looking flashlights. I remembered guns. But I am old, so maybe I was mistaken. But then I checked online, and damned if the beard had not cgi'ed the guns into flashlights!
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What Han shooting first did was establish his character immediately. A ruthless SOB who will do anything to save his own skin. That made the end, when he returned and saved Luke, so good. His character had an arc (albeit a small one).By making this one change, Lucas completely fucked the Han character.
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Han Solo - a knock off Nigel! He'll never live that down.TV lies constantly. Don't believe a word. Especially on ITV.
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Yatta!
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maybe AVP:R as well! Just kidding!
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Drinking is good! Contrary to popular opinion, drinking solves all problems
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Don't you joke about that.
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I'm trying to shill Southern Comfort via strategically created Facebook photos.
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Spielberg is planning on using the latest CGI technology to make the shark toothless.The shark will now be gumming unsuspecting swimmers on the beaches of Amity Island.
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And I can't believe Lucas is happy with what he's done. How he can look at that scene and think "Perfect!" and send it out to the world? It's a joke.
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Heh heh - just kidding. Really.
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Thank you. I knew something was off in that flick though
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It is coming on cable tonight.
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There's something to be said for drinking and creating Robot Chicken style photo-albums.
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Peace be unto everybody. Have a great night.
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With a CG Hayden Christiansen appearing by the campfire with Alex Guinness and Yoda. That makes no fucking sense. So Vaders ghostly apparition appears in the form of his 20 year old self, but Yoda and Kenobi are fucking old? Absolute bullshit.Lucas is a cock who fucked his own films.
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I feel like i just missed some important business meeting!!! What the hell. Am II the only guy with a day job around here?
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Lucas... bah. I'm toasting a drink to the death of his talent.
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The question is: Did Lucas CGI his own cock to fuck his films?
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I'm an MA Student in Wales whose had most of the week off from lectures so that I can finish a 25page script assignment. I feel like a real screenwriter, in that I've had a cold... been spurned by a real cool chick... and just started drinking.
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Genius b-grade action pic. The last 20 minutes are absurdley enjoyable. Langella just hamming it up as the villian. Lots of fun if you're in a forgiving mood.
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We are all eccentric millionaires here, and one or two billionaires.
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Outstanding dumbhouse film.
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Only for his private collection, hidden in a trunk in his basement with the twinkies and vaseline.
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And if you had said Superman Returns, I would have thrown up
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But I understand the hate. Same as I understand The Hulk hate. I enjoyed them, but damned if I could articulate why... which could be the mixer talking...
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If anyone could, he would
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YATTA
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You are not baiting me into a flamewar over Superman Returns. Just hang on for a few Hours and Jarv will be happy to oblige.
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I don't love the film that much.
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You better be talking about The Incredible Hulk here, Zedd. Because I can not for a second believe you just compared the genius of Lee's Hulk to Superman Returns. That better be the mixer talking!
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Never seen it. Don't know why Renny Harlin is one of my favorite directors. Well Long Kiss Goodnight and Deep Blue Sea are probably two of the best god damn action movies ever. And his Die Hard 2: Die Harder was pretty damn good, shit I even liked Driven. I remember the first time I saw it I thought the races were amazing. Has anyone seen The Adventures of Ford Fairlane?
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I never said Lee's Hulk wasn't genius... what I said was that I can understand why people wouldn't like it, same as with Superman Returns. I'm fully aware Lee's Hulk did something new that freaked people out, and SR did the opposite
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Saw it opening night on the IMAX's and was super stoked about it. And that first plane scene then the rest of it I don't even remember. It wasn't worth remembering.
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He gets a really bad rep. I mean for fucks sake... he doesn't WRITE the scripts, ya know? If he gets a good one, he makes a damn good film.
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Freaked people out? Try to make comedian actor Eric Bana, a dramatic action star??????
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Is fucking amazing, and I saw it in theaters 8 times. I know people say that shit, but I really did (I was staying in a hotel that was above a theater for the summer and movies where free, Navy Base). That movie was just so bad ass.
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Greek tragedy, mainly. Up to then, comic-book films were hardly striving to be art.
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Genius: Cuttroat Island, Cliffhanger, Die Hard 2, The Long Kiss Goodnight.Trash: Driven, Deep Blue Sea, Ford Fairlane, The Exorcist prequel, Whichever Nightmare sequel he did, That male witch movie that Twilight has ripped off, the piece of shit fbi training flick with christian slater, val kilmer and ll fucking cool j.The crimes to cinema are winning unfortunately.
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Has anyone watched this???? I am losing a lot of DVR space getting the whole series in order off of HD Net. I've watched like 14 episodes so far, its ok. Does anyone else like or hate it? I'm not sure yet, it entertains me an holds my interests.
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I am. Guess what? Lex's Father? He's been cast in Heroes Volume IV.
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I like it. A lot don't, but I think it's capable of brilliance. Granted a lot is shit... but you get a couple of excellent eps a season.
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I thought Ford Fairlane was damned good! I liked ADC back then, before he became a schmuck of epic proportions. Hus fall was self induced, and very quick. he was outsatnding in a little known TV shpow called Crime Story, as a second tier thug of all things.
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After Chopper (drama) and Black Hawk Down (action) it's reasonable to assume Bana could be a dramatic action star.
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YATTA
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Besides Bana and Jennifer's acting? That movie was just boring. Ang Lee is not as good as a director as every likes to think how arty his movies make you feel. Brokeback mountain??? Fucking boring and lame and bad acting. The Ice Storm? Just pretentious BS followed by more flat acting.
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Dude, I'm not arguing. Too tipsy to care. I feel oddly in tune with peoples opinions, even if I don't agree with them I think they're valid. God, this is going to wind up with me regretting a LOT of posts tomorrow. But chaps... never let me forget how drunk I got.
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but Ice Storm was very good. The only Ang Lee flick I've seen that wasn't very good is the civil war era one, with Tobey Maguire and Skeet "Chill Factor" Ulrich.
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Watch any interview with Bana, and he comes off like he was pretty much planning on becoming the next Crocodile Dundee. He just happen to hit at the right time (after the world feel in love with Huge Actman) and so he just gets offered movie deals. He was a stand up comic back in his homeland, and he always sounds bewildered about becoming an action/drama star. I liked Chopper (mainly for that little poem end scene) and he was cool in Black Hawk. But everything else he's done sucks donkey balls (even Munch). But he is going to be in the new Apatow movie, so maybe will finally realize what he was built for.
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I somehow ended up renting some low budget horror movie instead of the Sam Rockwell movie. According to people on Netflicks, they say the movie is pretty nuts. Anyone heard of it?
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Fraid not.
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Crouching Tiger was fantastic. It was operatic. Perhaps not eberyone cup of tea, but I loved it. So did the misses - made her cry. The wire fu, was not meant to just be ass-kicking fights, it was part of the beauty of the overall movie. I did ont like Lee as director for Hulk when it was announced. I knew he would bring same sensibilities to the wrong genre. He wanted an operatic Hulk movie. And perhaps if he had simply stuck to that formula it would have worked, but he had a core audience of action and comic book lovers to appease as well. He made critical mistakes that undercut both his legit artistic chops, and his desire for action. It created a movie that was at war with itself. Not helped by some lame acting, and scripting. There are moments of beauty in Hulk. There is also some very good action, with unsurpassed CGI - like the desert racetrack. But it is too talky. Too introspective, too operatic. It was ambitious, but in my opinion, while I do not hate the film, and I do own the DVD, it just fails to live up to its promise.
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My head's wobbling. Lightweight-ville.
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A flawed masterpiece. It has problems, but I can't hate or dislike a film which TRIES to elevate a genre.
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I'm Australian and I remember him from his days on the skit comedy show Fast Forward. He was in my favorite aussie comedy called The Castle. Then years later he made Chopper, which got him Black Hawk Down and it was off to the races. He was the best thing in that shitfest Troy. Munich is fucking good, and he was good in it. And would you turn down Lucky You if it was directed by Curtis Hanson and co-starred Robert Duvall? Who knew it would be that shit.All in all, he's not a great actor, but far from the worst out there.
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Heard of it. Never seen it. About a Damien style kid i think.
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Almost on forth.
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Forgot the 'u' in fourth.
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You documenting your descent into liquor induced madness?
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Pretty much. I've got maybe 15% of a Southern Comfort bottle left, feels a shame NOT to finish it.
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Only if I yell 'fuck off' and start saying Lucas was right to have Han shoot first. No-one has EVER been that drunk.
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Dec 11, 2008 7:01:55 PM CST
Gotta keep the gang together...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
That 15% won't be happy until it's reunited with its chums.
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Dec 11, 2008 7:03:11 PM CST
Just up the ante on the mix...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
and start swigging from the bottle for good measure.
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Han shooting first IS logical... it's when he shoots second that isn't...
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Get that Southern Comfort, a little water and some lime! STAT!
One of my favorite ways to drink regular whiskey (Jack Daniels, Wild Turkey, Crown Royal) is a little water (Sometimes tonic), ice, lime and shake.
Mmmmm. Well played. -
It's somewhat bearable. (coughs)
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Diet Coke with Citrus Zest all the way.
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Get whiskey, water, powdered sugar (disolves better) and lemon or lime juice.
Mmmm whiskey sour. -
I'm not diluting this shit.
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That's a recipe for disaster right there. And thank christ you went for DIET coke. Nothing like watching the waistline when slugging down copious amounts of booze.
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Take mixing glasses.
Add whiskey, lime juice and powdered sugar and shake the fuck out of it like a pimp shakes a hooker holding out on him.
Get highball glass, add ice and pour mixture over it.
Then add a splash of water and enjoy. -
Truth be told, I prefer the taste of diet coke. I'm not idiotic enough to think it improves my waistline.
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I'm now drunk and feeling sad about various things that have happened since 1997.
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Drink it straight, fell the brun man, feel the burn! No pain no gain! Remember this, drink until it hurst, then keep drinking until the pain goes away!
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Less talking, more swigging.
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Doesn't the soda dilute it?
If you have good whiskey like Blantons, then it is simple...
Glass. Ice. Whiskey. Drink it while pulling from a good cigar. -
I just drunk two shots worth and almost threw up...
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Shit, knew I forgot something.
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with a splash of water.
I like to drown the burn just enough that I get that good whiskey taste. -
Be the man. That little whiskey bottle is no match for you! Feel the burn man. Feel the Burn. oh, you can fell the brun too! I gotta stop typing while watching TV. I like this cutthroat movie so far
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Those two straight shots... no shit, I had to push myself not to throw up.
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10% left.
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who said "I hate the taste of whiskey, but I love what it does to me!"
He would buy the cheapest shit he could find and mix it with coke.
By the end of the night, he would fill the glass halfway up with cheap whiskey and splash it with coke.
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No offence, but if you DON'T read the Reynard City webcomic I co-wrote that may/may not come out this year... I will make you regret you read me being drunk.
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But sometimes ya gotta just say, fuckit and drink it like a man!
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Zedd, i expect to be thoroughly entertained by some nonsensical posts when i check back here.
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I don't mind the taste of whisky, but a straight-up shot isn't me. I prefer to mix.
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You sound like a gay ewok, is that nonsenical enough.? :D
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Just take a deep breath after the next shot and breath in and out.
Try it Zed. Trust me.
Just one more.... -
No that was the movie I wanted to rent. I've already seen that and its good, I wanted to show it to my lady friend. There is another low budget horror movie with the same name.
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That was bearable. FUCK YOU. In all seriousness... I may hate you if you use this against me should I become a pro-writer (tis my aim), but I wouldn't respect you if you didn't.
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Yeah, that's funny.Are you kidding me? Were you watching the same movie I was? Heath Ledger was amazing in that movie. I normally don't like Gylenhaal, but he was great too. The apparent chemistry and passion the two characters shared was just incredible. It's one of the most romantic, sad films I have ever seen.Like the part where Ledger's character is clutching Jeke's coat and sobbing? Powerful stuff. I was crying like a bitch.Like. A. Bitch.
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That's not nonsensical, it's redundant.
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Milk and vodka. My buddy and I were making white Russians and we ran out of the other stuff and he was like well shit we still got milk and vodka, that;s close enough. No it wasn't.
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Redundant? Bah. Like I'm sober enough to know the difference.
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Your gay for liking Brokeback Mountain. Sorry you set yourself up for that.
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Scotch. Bourbon. My girlfriend got me a flask for Christmas. I can't wait to fill it with yummy alcohol, but I can't decide what kind.
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I seriously condone this... taunt me with how erratic I am. My sober self won't like it, but it's not like I didn't choose to do it.
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I see that you like the movie The Core???? Are you fucking kidding me? That was almost as good as Brokeback Mountain, luckily it had better acting. But my god was that movie awful. It reminded me of some movie you see at a museum that they make up to help kids know about the earth.
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I just stick with cheap ass beer.
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It's like Brokeback Mountain, but without the sex or drama.
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Cheap ass beer? How cheap we talking? If it's under $3, dude... it's like drinking urine.
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If you kick the bucket and croak of alcohol poisoning, can we be held responsible for encouraging you? Now, i know you are in U.K. so there would be all kinds of extradition and shit, but does U.K. have any laws about that thing. Just nod if you ae still coherent and can understand.
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Dec 11, 2008 7:23:22 PM CST
Hang on Zed, I'm printing this talkback out now...
by chittychittygangbang
You will need a little controversy to stoke the fires of interest from the general public.
All aboard! Next stop...Best seller! -
Keystone.
Around here a 30-pack cost about $12-$13 bucks.
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Dec 11, 2008 7:27:04 PM CST
Wait! The Core had deep drilling just like Brokeback
by chittychittygangbang
Although in The Core, the drilling didn't go as deep.
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Dude, I won't croak. I'm at the stage where I'm drunk, but not absolutely smashed.
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Speaking of by myself...
*unzips pants* -
I started drinking BEFORE any comments from you guys.
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Who knew?The Core was noted on my Dumbhouse classics list. Haven't seen Brokeback, but if I ask myself seriously if a stupid "save the world" flick is better than a "cowboy fucks another cowboy in the ass" flick, I'd probably err on the side of caution and go for the save the world one.Night guys.
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Damn youse for leaving, but oddly thank you for staying.
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C'mon... you have Tom Sellick's mustache and the bad guy is Gene fuckin Simmons. How can you possibly top that?
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"I didn't hear you say Neigh! Now put your mouth back in the sweet feed and get back in front of the stump..."
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Everyone is pussying out in a cool fashion, (an oxymoron, I think.)
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Set or Pirate pillows
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Sorry, I don't suck the stump of men. (I presume you are a man.)
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So many awesome woman I know on Facebook, so little charisma to incite.
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Chitty blew his own stump off in a propane tank accident. You can see it on youtube.
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Pirate pillows> Are we talking doubles?
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And you're maybe slightly homophobic. Is that why you don't like the movie? Because it's about a gay relationship? I have a girlfriend (Zed and Hawaiian can attest to that, thanks to facebook), and I am heterosexual, but that won't stop me from enjoying a film that does such a good job of portraying two people that have a real bond.
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I'm talking about the most famous talback of all time.
It was a talkback that followed a documentary about guys that had sex with horses and loved the horses as well.
Ask Toad to see if he has the link.
Dear God, I hope you get to read that.
Anyway, there was aguy named Equinus that defended the practice of horse lovemaking and when everyone knew he was serious, they jumped all over him.
It is no doubt one of the funniest talkbacks. EVER. -
He went out in a blaze of glory.
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That talkback... I laughed, cried and died a little.
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Someone told Equinus after he admitted to having sex with horses that "Neigh means Neigh!"
I think that is the hardest I have ever laughed at a talkback. -
I'm struggling with a relationship that can't take-off.
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trust me, you don't need to be hitting on girls right now. Not drunk. It never works out well. If they're also drunk, then maybe, but just you drunk on facebook? I think the cards are stacked against you on that one man.
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I just can't see how.
That talkback makes Pink Flamingos look like Walt Disney film. -
BWAH
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I hit on sober, didn't help.
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I feel like I've been mentally inspected by Nazis.
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Try the shotgun approach. Ask a bunch of girls and surely one will respond with desired results.
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Someone named Half vader, (any relation to D.vader?)came up with the immortal Neigh Means Neigh
http://www.aintitcool.com/talkback_display/33985#comment_1687934 -
and play a drinking game.Let's think up a good drinking game for Zed!
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Everytime there is a curse word, take a drink.
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First one to spot a digital enhancement yells "Cash Grab!" and then orders someone to drink.
If you are alone, still yell "Cash Grab!" and take a drink.
Have an amubulance near by. -
Everytime Nic Cage's fake Southern accent causes a kitten to die, take a drink.
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Everytime Nic Cage's fake ???? accent (I really don't know what that was supposed to be) makes you vomit a little, take a drink.
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That was a great review of Bad Santa that you posted on mymavra.com. It makes me want to go rent the movie right now. You should write more reviews, you have talent.
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Everytime you look over your shoulder to make sure no other dude is watching you watch it, take a drink.
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Thanks to whomeber praised my talent... but I'm struggling to count. FUCCCCCCCCCCCK I'm wasted!
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If one can't leave a room without collapsing!
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Be careful...we'll mistake you for Chipps if you slur your posts! ;)
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Got your message. Yay..it works (you were the first to test that out)! Thanks very much!
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Man, I have to get the internets at home.Morning, by the way. Not that anyone's here.I like this new job, but I have no interest in working today. Casual attire means casual attitude and all that. What can I ramble to myself about?
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Good review, buddy. I can't abide the kind of schmaltzy dreck that you usually get in Christmas films, so I love that film purely because it's so bitter and cynical and - in its own way - honest about the holiday season.Also, I like the site, Mavra Chang. I'm planning on wasting a nice of chunk of the morning reading it.
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...comes the next milestone in motion picture history:
AVATAR - Fucking your eyeballs in 2009!
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I admire your enthusiasm, but I don't want to be thinking about having my eyeballs fucked when I finally get to see Avatar. That's just an ugly image.Fucking my eyeballs would involve making a hole of some sort for access, presumably in my corneas, which would render me blind. Then I imagine there would be tremendous pain, not to mention quite a bit of seminal seepage. Plus, if the fucking begins when the film begins, an ambulance will be called within about ten minutes (I've estimated an approximate amount of time I'll be able to endure the eyeball-fucking) and then there'll be paramedics in the cinema - loads of paramedics, assuming I'm not the only one going through this.Really, that's just going to ruin the whole experience for me.
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I'm looking forward to Avatar as much as the next guy, but give it a rest! Every single talkback does not require an "Avatar fucking your eyeballs" comment.You are willingly aiding the anti-cameron talkbackers as well. Prior to this they only had their moronic "robodaddy" comments to fall back on. Now they have the eyeballs fucking comment.Give it a rest, at least until there is an Avatar related story to post on!
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Any thread that discusses both these guys has got to be good. Ang Lee - fuckin' top director. And how lovely to have a director who genuinely serves the story and doesn't plaster a film with his own tics. Renny - well, Cutthroat Island was everything that Pirates of the Carribean wanted to be. In my humble.
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TARANTINO! What did you START??? Just because you did a brilliant riff on the exploitation thing (that's GRINDHOUSE), it now means that every shithead with a camera thinks they can be clever and ironic in world'o'exploitation. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!!
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Seriously, thanks for the review kudos. I wish I could do more because I enjoy it, but I usually forget. And as for being drunk... my cold's still here, but not as bad as it was. YATTA.
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I refuse to watch that drunk. The best time to watch that film is while eating Fish Fingers, baked beans and wedges for breakfast.
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I don't know that I've ever eaten fish fingers, baked beans and wedges for breakfast, but I have seen Con Air a number of times (both drunk and sober - it's good either way).Does that mean I'm missing out on the full Con Air experience?Maybe I'll try it. I'm more of a bacon and scrambled eggs on toast kind of guy, but there's no reason I couldn't experiment with eating a child's dinner for breakfast if it will make watching Con Air more enjoyable.
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to watch The Big Lebowski while drinking White Russians, but I've never managed to get around to it.That could be one to do the night before the Con Air/fish fingers combo.
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to watch The Big Lebowski while smoking copious amounts of pot, but i never get around to it.
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Dec 12, 2008 5:18:53 AM CST
The more I think about it, the more I like this idea
by franklin t marmoset
Unfortunately, it would mean buying a copy of Con Air. And fish fingers. And wedges.I think I have some baked beans, though.
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is a god-awful film. A true insult to the intelligence.
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Hangover. Bah
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to watch Face/Off while eating a peach for hours.Just struggling to find a peach big enough.
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Hah ha hah.
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It's not often I enjoy having my intelligence (what there is of it) insulted, but I'm happy to let Con Air get away with it.
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But Con Air is not enjoyable, even in a bad way. It's just pure shit.
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Nicolas Cage dominates the Dumbhouse genre like no other actor. Not even Paul Walker comes close.Con Air, 8mm, Gone In Sixty Seconds, Windtalkers, National Treasure, The Wicker Man, Ghost Rider, Next. I haven't seen National Treasure 2 or Bangkok Dangerous, but I'm assuming they're also pretty fucking stupid.Is there no end to this man's ability to make dumb films?I salute you, Nicolas Cage.
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National Treasure II is great. It's so... damn... stupid, and knows it. When Nicholas Cage decides to kidnap the President, there's a few minutes of characters telling him he's an idiot before he comes up with a ludicrous plan.
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Dec 12, 2008 5:45:51 AM CST
Nic Cage and the Dumbhouse syndrome
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Dumbhouse: the last 20 minutes of Gone in 60 Seconds, National Treasure, The Rock, The Family Man, Snake Eyes, Kiss of DeathPure Shit: Con Air, 8mm, Windtalkers, The Wicker Man, Ghost Rider, Next, Captain Corelli's Mandolin, City of Angels, National Treasure 2, all of Gone in 60 Seconds except the last 20 minutes.
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Dec 12, 2008 5:47:39 AM CST
National Treasure 2 is not great
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
It's absolute shit with no redeeming features.
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Because the last 20 minutes contains the classic line for letting a multiple felon walk away scot-free... A brothers love is... a brothers love. That line is so bad it makes the film awesome.
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Me and my bro will one day record a commentary for that. And it will rock.
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Dec 12, 2008 5:50:12 AM CST
Hence why the last 20 minutes...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
is in the Dumbhouse section.
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The bad guy doesn't make any attempt to keep tabs on Nicholas Cage and his brother... they can leave at ANY time.
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Dec 12, 2008 5:54:53 AM CST
What I'm saying is that the last 20 minutes...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
are dumbhouse. Fucking stupid but enjoyable. The rest of the film is absolute shit and boring as fuck.
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Glad you like the site. It should have more stuff, but I am a champion procrastinator about writing. See, that's one small reason why I need contributors....gets me off the hook (a little bit) and gives people more points of view than just mine. Plus, I am a complete newbie about review writing, so better writers are always appreciated.
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I'll try and do a review of '50 First Dates', but there's a good chance I'll turn it off in disgust and be angry with God for creating Rob Schneider.
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The absolute shit and boring as fuck sections are the best parts. Everyone's playing this incredibly convuluted idea seriously.
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I'm not crazy 'bout that dude either. Rants are as acceptable as reviews, as far as I'm concerned.
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Then, over X-Mas, Gone in Sixty Seconds. I love that shitty film.
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Forget the 50 First Dates review. Do a Rob Schneider review!
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I think Gone in Sixty Seconds would be revered as a classic if it was set over Christmas. Nothing say festivity like a criminal stealing cars from rich people to help out his 'tard of a brother.
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Rob Scheider review? There's not enough alcohol.
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The site is not given to formality or constrictions. I swiped a motto from a friend's site: Do what you want because a pirate is free. You got something you want to say, I'll post it for you. No problemo. :)
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Best part about it - you can contact creative people and tell them how awesome their work is... rather than just post it anom.
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Been a long night.
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Coming soon - 'Pieces.' I won't be able to stop laughing if I write that... it is, quite simply, the antichrist of quality.
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Almost forgot. Thanks!
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Worst part, it's the heroin to MSN's crack... and you usually wind up sending messages you'd rather not send.
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I wrote about things that eat zombies and possessive bugs....what can you do to outweird that? Go for it!
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Mavra - I've got an Iron Man review up somewhere. Probably needs some edits, but it was written in an awesome high after my first viewing. Tried to get it on AICN, but they were too busy being naff.
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Dec 12, 2008 6:13:07 AM CST
Just watch every Schneider flick back to back
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Paying particular attention to Duece Bigelow 2 and The Hot Chick.Whoa nelly. That would be excruciating. You'd have to get fitted into that Clockwork Orange machine that holds your eyes open.I want you're review to document your slip into Brando style madness.The Horror! The Horror!
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I call a duel of the crazy reviews. We'll let people vote to decide who's the top freakazoid of the writing set. There's a title you can covet!
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Only if you chaps supply the beer, and I'm allowed to take up smoking.
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Dec 12, 2008 6:16:11 AM CST
I've got a P2 review somewhere, where i...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
just rip shit through it. Anyone seen that flick? Fucking awful.
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Or something else?
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If the reviews can be little more than alcohol fueled rants then I'm sure i could pump a few out it quick succession.
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Okay ...
HOD: Of the four films you mentioned I haven't seen Eye For An Eye or Rough Cut yet but both got great press. Dachimawa Lee I had a lot of fun with but it pretty much demands you have the same library of films as the director. Painted Skin I watched last week and it did not work for me at all. Couldn't make it all the way through. Korea definitely had a better year this past year than the couple previous but it's not quite back yet ... the signs are promising, though.
Pillow Talk: Fighter's nothing like that trailer. The slomo fights are part of a dream sequence, the real tournament fighting is unaffected. Girl's a real fighter, they didn't need to doctor her up at all.
Gorilla: Lesbian Vampire Killers is NOTHING like Grindhouse at all. More Shaun of the Dead, maybe.
Anybody check out Mindflesh? We're talkign witht he company that provided it about doing some more stuff in the future ... -
a thriller set in a parking garage with the "isn't the plastic bag beautiful" guy out of American Beauty. I'll try to find it. Awful.
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It can't be worse than ROTS.
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I will probably have to wait until after I've had a nap, but I wouldn't miss it for the world. Mr. Twitchman, bless ya, man! If you hear about the Meat Grinder being sold (see, I said sold) on DVD, could you let us know. I may be the only one here who does, but I want to buy it. Thanks!
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You want to write it out, I'll put it on the site. Done deal!
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I already have Hellboy II and The Dark Knight lined up, plus my Starship Troopers 2 and 3 double whammy, but now I also want to give the Con Air/fish finger combo a try, and I've also added National Treasure II to the list!Where will I find the time?
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No idea. I'm a student so I'm made of time... hence the diet coke run.
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Dec 12, 2008 6:36:32 AM CST
so why the hell did the cut the trailer for Fighter like that?
by just pillow talk
Just going off the trailer, it does not interest me at all. However, since you have vouched for it Twitch, I would give it a shot now. That just boggles my mind that they used her entire dream sequence to fill over half the trailer then. WTF? If the girl's got it, let her flaunt it.
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The fish fingers for breakfast comment was a dead giveaway.
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I think it may top the first one because of involving the President...his desk. Great, stupid stuff.
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That movie just makes me smile while watching it. I really wish they made more of those. It still amazes me to this day the shitload of actors that were in it: Weller, Lithgow, Lloyd, Goldblum, Barkin..dude for Earth 2, Carla's hubby..."Where are we going?""To Planet Ten!""When are we going?""Real Soon!"
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I'll wire you a million internets.
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The first one is stupid as hell!Okay, well I'm really looking forward to seeing National Treasure II now.I'm going to have to write out some sort of schedule to get me through this weekend. Six films to watch, two visits to the gym, a spot of cleaning, plus I have to attend at leat one social event so I don't turn into a total hermit.It's a good job there's fuck all on the telly at the moment.
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That translates to fifty English pence!Skinflint!I reckon I'll like it, though. I do like a bit of Guillermo Del Toro. He is a talented fellow.
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Much the same as the first. Not a great film by any stretch of the imagination, but lots of fun. The market scene rivals the Star Wars cantina scene for it's inventive collection of weird creatures.The young Hellboy at the start kinda creeped me out though.
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Dec 12, 2008 6:49:09 AM CST
I'll re-iterate an earlier point...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
National Treasure 2 is shit!Frankie, lower your expectations.
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But it's fun shit because it's so dumb. The desk... kidnapping the President... the secret diary... it's ludicrously entertaining.
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Maybe I can pick up a cheap copy of Con Air.P.S. Now droid is calling me Frankie. Somehow, some day, some way, I will get you back for this, JPT.
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It's a natural progression.
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It gets worse.
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Blucher! (neigh Yup...could get worse.
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http://tinyurl.com/6rczks
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Got to get some sleep. Have a great day, guys.
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Posted my old Iron Man review to my blog. http://chilledzen.livejournal.com/
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Dec 12, 2008 7:20:43 AM CST
Later Mav. I'm outta here too.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Got a half day today. Which means... weekend!Have a good one fellas.
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That is obviously not Franklin. He wears a different shade of lipstick. Sheesh!
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Night all!
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Natty 2 will serve you well...I've come into a wealth of internets thanks to Jarv's old bear. I've contracted out the bear to do "hits"...quite lucrative actually. Lots of people want to see other people chomped in half by an angry bear.
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They had no cheap Con Airs. No Con Airs at all.Phooey!P.S. Yes, clearly that picture is me, although I am (as Mavra rightly says) trying a different shade in that one. I'm still not sure if it suits me.
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I was woken up at 4:00 in the friggin morning by the door bell ringing and some serious knocking. Apparently the cops got a call of a domestic disturbance at our address. I asked the cop what the holdup was as I had finished beating my wife hours ago.But seriously, the whole thing was creepy (especially when other police cars pulled up) and I had trouble going back to sleep.So Kungfu is the spitting image of James Franco. And Mr. Z reminds me of McLovin.
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Urggggh,
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You need to start a script with that exchange.
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Wonder what the weekend will have in store for you Hawaiian...Perhaps the fire department will bust down your doors and soak your house on Saturday, followed by the SWAT team coming in on Sunday bursting through the windows looking for Hawaiian Organ Donor.
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So maybe I was being punk'd.The FBI will be coming for me one day. My anti-government agenda hasn't gone unnoticed.
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since you have sent all of us countless movies on your own accord.Just give us a holler when the "man" comes-a-knocking...the Warciple Strike Team will be ready.
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Right in the middle of a good wife beating. Neighbors just don't understand, like parents.
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No. 2 Pencils are at the ready. I'm calling in an encircling fire mission five klicks out from your primary residence. This will create a no mans land (and no houses either) that will give us a buffer to operate. Just say the word, and I lock and load and start dropping HE rounds on 'The Man'.
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The coppers are around here all the time, and they don't care who they disturb, or when. Once, they came at 5am on a Sunday morning and spent half an hour knocking on his door. Assholes. Either kick it in or fuck off and let me sleep.The junkie may be a junkie, but at least he's quiet. It's the coppers who make all the noise.
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Dec 12, 2008 9:13:12 AM CST
Jokes about me being Franklin off Arrested Development aside
by franklin t marmoset
Is there still an actual picture of me up on Zhura?I can't remember whether I took it down or not.
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Dec 12, 2008 9:14:26 AM CST
Well, I'm not going to be able to compete with those stories
by hawaiian organ donor
It wasn't the first time the cops have knocked on my door and I suspect it won't be the last.
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That guy looks like he's developed some kind of Mr Fantastic bendy leg power.
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Leg injury I have seen in athletics. Joe Theismann, Willis Magahee, and Tim Krumrie all had horrific leg injuries. I would rate this one third
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Breaking your leg is one thing, but it looks like all the bones in his leg suddenly disappear and all that's left is a dangling sock of skin.Man, that must have hurt.
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Dec 12, 2008 9:27:28 AM CST
oh I got excited thinking you mean every SCHEIDER flick....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....that would be a fucking marathon. Non-stop Roy Scheider for 12 hours straight. French Connection, The Seven Ups, Jaws, Jaws 2, 2010, 52 Pick Up, Romeo Is Bleeding, and a lil' bit of Seaquest. Marvelous like the tits of Scarlett.
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Dec 12, 2008 9:33:04 AM CST
a friend of mine had a football injury like that...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...in High School. Except it was a little higher up on the leg between ankle and knee. He got tackled during practice by one guy on each side that just snapped his leg in two directions. He didn't realize and tried to stand up, but just fell over. I didn't see it-- but the way it was described to me was when he tried to stand up, there was basically no bone in that middle section and the bottom part started to twist around as if it was a cue ball in a tube sock. When he fell someone tried to pick up his foot and they said it was just like picking up a severed foot not attached to a leg, except for a small strip of stretched skin. Anyway....he had to have his leg up in one of those torture machine things with pins through it for 3 months. Fucking crazy.
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....but I remember Scheider being tough as fuck in it.
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http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/12/12/york.oldest.brain/index.html
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The last time I saw bones fracture in an internet video I was out cold.
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All this gruesome talk of severe body trauma has me seriously light-headed. Honest to christ, I see halos around my cubicle lights.
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Hey...I was talking to my dad about it last night. He's a higher up in another industry union and he's in with those circles. He doubts it will go to strike just because of the fact they need 75% authorization vote and the members are so split on it. I guess there have already been whispers that the studios have no problem replacing SAG with AFTRA members for television shows. And many in the SAG leadership feel that this strike could literally destroy the guild. There are already so many factions going on within it with different ideas, they think it will break off into three separate parts where members could literally choose which they wanted to be a member of.
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http://tinyurl.com/6xskst
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...you should try tickling his inner thigh. He giggles for hours.
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I am in possession of England's most useless brain - able to forget useful information in under five seconds, but still able to remember who most of the cast of Torque are.
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I figure he has pickled his brain with exotic welsh sheep based alcoholic beverages.
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And he used to take me to his autopsies to toughen me up. Never worked. Every time I'd wake up at the nurses station with smelling salts.I can handle the type of cinematic gore where Seagal brakes a guy's arm over his shoulder or Stuntman Mike's tire takes a woman's face off.But torture porn and real life body trauma do me in. I just don't have the stomach for it.
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Thats the thing. The studios could have inside word about this and want a strike to happen so they could split, and each faction could be negotiated independently. Obviously with less numbers, they have less power. The studios would love this in the long run, so it might be worth taking a hit with a strike.
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With the SEVERE bone trauma? Um yeah, that makes me dizzy. And the second act of Death Becomes Her is an olympic exercise in keeping my lunch down, even though I love the movie.
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story too. I can't take that shit either, I swear my foot feels weird now after reading that. Though I can watch Tony Jaa break a million arms and legs, that's as far as it goes with me. I can't take stories about sports injuries. Ugh!
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Dec 12, 2008 9:59:18 AM CST
what they should do is shock the hell out of the studios....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...split in their smaller groups, but sign up under IATSE. So they are protected under that massive banner of industry members. Then it would only be WGA, DGA, Teamsters, IATSE and AFTRA. I guarantee if this happened, AFTRA would be terrified of going it alone and merge with IATSE as well.
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get rolled over in football, I hate that. Why you gotta show that? I see the dude down on the ground, don't need to show it to me.
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I have no idea how people get off on watching people get shot and hit by trains. I remember years ago, in school all the kids were getting off on that video of the poor guy in Mexico blasted with a shotgun by riot cops. He screams "AYE YAY YAY" as he goes down, and fuckers would play that over and over laughing hysterically. They looked at me like I was some kind of asshole for not laughing and I said "I don't think this shit is funny at all. You're watching a guy get shot....real entertaining." I got a lot of eye-rolls and walked away. Fuckers.
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Thats it? I just saw the video where the guys hits him in the legs, but the injury is mainly blocked by another guy in the way? Thats the injury?
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I guarantee you will feel his pain. Some of it, at least.
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I believe it was originally to separate radio actors and film actors. Obviously this is outdated, but the separation remains. Being under IATSE would not be a problem, they are still individual negotiations for each group. Hairdressers are IATSE, and they're doing okay. Teamsters just signed up Casting Directors, who never had a union before this.
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http://www.manlyweb.com/sports/injuries/footballinjuries.htm
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...Its not that big of a deal. Maybe because of the pants. I just don't get that grosses out when the limbs are covered, if its a runner's leg.....eeeeeesh.
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12-year old face with a C cup ? Ick.
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....when he sets his foot down and it bends.....notice the camera cuts very quickly. Most of the videos down though.
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My dad wanted my brother and I to follow in his footsteps and become doctors. My brother tried but I wanted no part of that. When I was a teenager all I wanted to do was join the Peace Corps, not watch the top of a cadaver's melon come off with a circular saw. You remember that awesome scene in Robocop 2 with Cane in the operating room? Now imagine that where there's no director around to yell "Cut!"I think I could endlessly watch videos of NASCAR drivers crashing to their death but people getting shot is sick.
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Dec 12, 2008 10:13:53 AM CST
there was that one shot of an olympic sprinter....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....and he leg just flings forward and he nearly kicks himself in the face!! His knee bends straight up while he is running! Amazing.
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I was watching the game and saw it real time, could not believe he would ever walk again, let alaone play football. This was a kid who was a mortal lock for top two or three draft pick, and watching hisleg bend backwards 45 degrees was terrible
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HEHEHEHE.
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Dec 12, 2008 10:20:14 AM CST
that guy running into that guard rail thing...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...and his leg flies straight back and he flips over onto the other side is pretty funny I gotta say. He ran so fucking hard into that thing.
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You pricks are killing me today. Next time I send out movies, I'm wiping my ass with them first.
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My grandfather took me to a slaughterhouse when I was six years old. It is an indelible memory. I remember the cows hanging upside down, while the butcher stabs them in the neck and blood was running out, and they were screaming. The screams are what I remember the most. I remember a trip to Philly back in the mid 70's, it was an open air market, and you could buy fresh meat, very fresh. We picked out a small pig, and the farmer took a ballpeen hammer to his skull right in front of us. Then sliced him up.
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Uh oh. I'm outta here. We all have our weaknesses. The second I hear of hurting an animal or slaughterhouses, I get seriously fucking ill.
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Yeah, that would've turned me off meat entirely. Good thing I only had to witness the diatribe of a jerkoff Republican to become a vegetarian and not Babe taking one upside the head.
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Dec 12, 2008 10:36:39 AM CST
I must admit, killing animals doesn't bother me much
by franklin t marmoset
As long as it's to make me a delicious burger or a stylish pair of shoes or to find the cure for some horrible illness I might get in the future, I'm fine with it.I had no idea so many of you were so squeamish.
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About time I killed a TB. HOD, yes it was indeed very Silence of the Cows like. Ok, back to movies. I am hearing tahrible things about TDTEST, but I have to see it for myself.
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Dec 12, 2008 10:36:52 AM CST
Speaking of animals, you think Equinas senses an opening
by hawaiian organ donor
He'll pop in and talk about S&M that he's had with various barnyard animals.
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I'll fix myself a stiff rum and coke, make a big bowl of popcorn and settle in upstairs in ManLand for a night of Keanu's wooden acting and Jennifer's reduced but still lovely breasts.
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Dec 12, 2008 10:40:59 AM CST
naaaawww.....Equinas is disgusted with animal abuse.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
He is all about the animal love.
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So misguied and yet so, so, so funny.Personally, I am okay with guys who want to get fucked by horses. I have no interest in getting bu-fu'd by a horse myself, but I always enjoy reading a good story about some idiot who went and got himself killed doing something utterly idiotic.
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It's getting late and I am getting tired.Almost time to go home.
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There is a political TB over on the Will Ferrel thread
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Dec 12, 2008 10:49:11 AM CST
So who is not over on the Z-Drive that wants in on the new site?
by hawaiian organ donor
We need to start putting a list of contributors together.
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I think Equinas was the fuck-er, not the fuck-ee.
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Did you want in as a contributor?
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Man...that is a miserable existence. Seriously think about it...you've obviously arrived. Your films make money, you're in a pretty good position to pull some strings, get financing, you got Michael Bay on speed dial (whether you like him or not, that is an achievement of some sort). And these are the fucking films you have ended up devoting your life to? Really? At the end of the day, you gotta feel pretty fucking worthless. Unless you're one of those fuckers like the Weinsteins that get into filmmaking as a business and not an art. I fucking hate those Business Major turned producer pricks. Get the fuck out man.
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Wasn't Vern's article (the one that inspired the TB) about a guy who liked to get fucked by horses and ended up dying of a severely ruptured bowel?I may be wrong, but I'm sure I remember Equinas as a guy with a similar prediliction.
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Dec 12, 2008 11:04:40 AM CST
Horse fucking, animal murder, severe leg trauma...
by franklin t marmoset
Just a typical Friday afternoon at the Ain't It Cool News.
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Wait, hear me out.It seems to me that the more remakes they do, the higher the odds are that one of them might actually be good, and I like a good remake (especially The Thing and The Fly). Sooner or later, someone's got to do a really good one, with a fresh take on the material.Also, I've never been all that bothered by bad remakes - they're not connected to the original and so easy to ignore.
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Oh...you weren't around when we talked about the idea of a new site?
It was yesterday at around 3pm..... -
All this time I've been remembering him as a horse fuck-ee and it turns out he's a more socially acceptable horse fuck-er.I'm sorry, Equinas, wherever you are.
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Its eerie and haunting. A young guy is interviewed by a psychiatrist about his sexual obsession of horses. There is a lot of weird philosophical talk about horses desires to be free creatures. Its very interesting. Saw it at a college....they didn't have a real horse. The big budget ones like Harry Potter's bring out an actual horse.
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Laid into chimpy but good.
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You owe Equinas an apology. Damn, we need Chitty to put the horse love in proper perspective.
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It turns out Equinas only likes girl horses, so clearly the only chance he has of getting fucked there is when she runs up his credit card.Zing!Seriously, though, you're right, toad. When the day comes that there is another film about horse/human relations that is reviewed by Vern and Equinas turns up to defend his strange activities in the talkback, I will offer him a profuse and sincere apology.
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Dec 12, 2008 11:24:23 AM CST
they need to review the Broadway production of Equus....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....he would be all fucking over that.
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Too much INFORMATION.
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I was in the bunker and the red light started blinking...
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Too much INFORMATION.
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Have a good weekend, all.
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I knew mentioning your name and equinas at same time would conjure you up!
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Whoo!
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I used to have that clip of the guy walking out of the hostage house and getting a shotgun blast to the chest.
That same set of clips also had a guy in his tighty-whiteys get out of a car and put a shotgun under his chin and BLAM! the bottom part of his face peeled up like a flap. -
My brain is awesome.
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It's like looking in a mirror and saying Candyman three times.
Only with Equinas, just go into a horse stall and say his name three times while grabbing a horse by the tail. -
This is your ass.This is your ass with a horse cock in it.
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hows it going?
Skipped out on TDESS in Imax last night. Not really feeling like I missed anything. Massa says it's even better than the original, so that just clinches the fact it's probably a rental at best.
HOD, I'm sorry to hear about your 4 a.m. misadventure. Did the police elaborate on what they thought was going down at your place?
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Dec 12, 2008 11:32:22 AM CST
I can see Equinas getting caught the first time
by chittychittygangbang
Equinas' Dad: "What are you doing? Why are you fucking that horse?!"
Equinas: "Well...uhhh"
Equinas' Dad: "Tell me! Where did you learn this? Now!
Equinas: "You alright! I learned it by watching you!" -
Are you still here or did Toad manage to entice you over to the Will Ferrell TB for good?
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Good job.
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At 2000 years old, it would have to be!
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dont' think you will get slammed round these parts. People mostly seem to like Hook here. I know Danny gave it his "magical" seal of approval. Im not the biggest fan, but whatever. Personally, I preferred the 2003 version with Jason Isaacs as Hook.
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Somedays I wake up and think 'the only way I could be more awesome if I had flame hands.'
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You like HOOK? No fucking way....other than HOD, I think you're the only person on AICN to speak fondly of that film. It is one of my top 5 Spielberg's. I fucking adore it.
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Sounds like FF
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I wanted to like it. But Spielbergs trademark sickenly sweet, awful over-acting and mugging children - in just about every damn movie he makes, just turned me off. I did like Ruffio though.
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A feature length Pan film still needs to be made. They didn't quite get it. The kid is really fucking annoying with a horrible lisp. I want to see a film start in Kensington Gardens with baby Pan on the island of ferries.
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......comes over and starts squeezing Peter's face, and stretches it into a smile and says the, "Oh theeeeeeeere you are Peter" line. Fuck man. I tear up every damn time. Followed by the amazing original score crescendo with "You can fly, you can fight, and you can CROW!"
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Very good stuff.
Some of Williams most playful and dare I say inspired. -
I can appreciate Hook for what it is. A good man-child role for Robin Williams, Hoffman was pretty great as usual, and even Julia Roberts was alright. One of the better kid's movies at the time.
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Dec 12, 2008 11:53:24 AM CST
the happy thought being the moment he became a father.....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
.....and the Pan clothes suddenly appearing on him as he blasts out of the tree-house. Fucking amazing. How anyone can slam this movie shocks me. Thats the thing with the newer one. It was a well made film. But to me, it had little to no magic. It felt uninspired and cold. And the score sucks massive balls in comparison.
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I'm still here. Back from lunch. How's it hanging?What do you use to design Mavra's website? We're looking to do a sister site and Jonah and I need some guidance.And are there any graphic designers here? We're going to need someone to work on a logo.HOOK is aces. Watched it a few months ago. Love it. And Williams hit a home run with the score.
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Why? The Disney Peter Pan is shit, Hook is actually really good.
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Yes, Spielberg sure loves his little suburb children, doesn't he?
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Dec 12, 2008 11:58:10 AM CST
Vader-- thats another problem I had with it...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...Tinkerbell is fucking annoying as hell. I did like the mermaids though. They are eerie.
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I could do a logo...
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Sure you weren't just watching Brazil?
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Do kinda cancel each other out because it is not a sequel. It is a retelling of the same sort of story with a lot of big changes. I agree-- I think they could be morphed into one to support one another.
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Hey man. Right now it's just basic web design software but it may be changing to Wordpress soon. BTW, did you get my last email at the grumpy address?
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When the sinister music kicked in and it showed just Hook's boots and then cutting to just his hand and hook moving with the music.
Great stuff. -
....hhmmm...maybe that could work. What the hell am I saying though-- Jonah is an artist. He can do the log if he has time.
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though I haven't seen it in forever (I'm not sure how you guys remember all this older movies like it was yesterday..fuck) I do remember not being too fond of it. Perhaps it's because I generally hate everything Julia Roberts, but for whatever reason, I wasn't crazy about it. I wonder how I would rate it if I were to watch it again? But I would rather watch a zillion other movies before rewatching Hook, that's for certain.
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Two dissenting voices. I did not like it much either.
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Hahahaha.... http://tinyurl.com/6fhupz
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one of my alltime favorites is the Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
Loved that trailer, mainly for the mix of the score they used. Great stuff. -
Dec 12, 2008 12:10:50 PM CST
its weird some people say Williams is too much....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...of a man-child in Hook (he is Peter fucking Pan) and then others complain that he played the role too cold. I thought the stuff where he is a dick at the beginning was some of his best dramatic acting in his career.
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Just the one scene as he goes from nice to the picture machine tech guy to complete screaming nutcase was another of his best.
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Never post while drunk.
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...we would get Will Ferrell as Pan. Thank fuck for Robin Williams.
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I have to admit I'm very curious as to what that new Trek movie will be like.
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another try.
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Spielberg deliberately casts and directs children who over-act and mug for the camera. He makes them so treacly, it could cause The Brim to start shouting "DIE-AH-BEETUS!" I truly hate how he directs children, with perhaps one or two exceptions.
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Did anyone get to see Mr. Zeddemore's review of Bad Santa?
http://tinyurl.com/6xhbsh
Definitely one to watch during the holiday season. I want to see it right now. -
http://tinyurl.com/6mls2x The origin stories the Joker rejected.
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I liked your review style.
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Because he needs his popcorn for the Will Ferrel thread. It is still one sided, but methinks it will heat up.
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Two of the greatest trailers ever.
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I loved the trailer for that flick. I even loved the first hour or so of the movie. But the ending just sucked pigeon balls
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BTW, why haven't I ever seen you around mymavra.com?
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The music in that trailer fucking rocks. I love that great shot of LeBlanc turning just as the metallic helmet wraps around his head.
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Dec 12, 2008 12:54:42 PM CST
a fat pigeon's balls, not one of those scrawny ones
by just pillow talk
Pigeons' ball sacks just aren't mentioned enough on AICN.
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There's a flame war a-brewin'.
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You know what that Lost In Space trailer song is originally from?
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TheGhostWhoLurks...doesn't he post in the Watchmen thread? Fucking windylicker.
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This song is pretty much the whole trailer of Lost In Space that I'm talking about. Redrum-- thats the Resurrection one with those awesome hits that keep rising sharper and sharper? Who does it?
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What is immediate music? Is it one of those stock music companies that just record random shit and license it for cheap?
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This is the greatest day ever. I had no idea about these Immediate Music guys, they have created some of the best trailer music ever! The song I have been looking for forever is Code Red. But Redrum rocks as well. These guys are fucking awesome. And these other guys--
E.S. Posthumus are pretty cool as well. They make similar trailer type shit. Thanks Vader.
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Check your email and get back to me sometime. We can share information.
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Dec 12, 2008 1:52:43 PM CST
I agree Pillow. Pigeon testicles are not mentioned enough
by toadkillerdog
We will change that. HOD the diseased yak line cracked me up! Very Libearal warrior like - may his greatness always be remembered!
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....not hardcore, just looking around every once in awhile and asking on message boards once a year or so. But its always been in my head. I did a a trailer for an animated thing years ago and I wanted to use that Resurrection song. Fuck!! I've finally found you!
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Has anyone tried watching Mindflesh the free movie on Twitch but can't because the picture is hidden?
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I couldn't get the movie to work either, but I am not at home right now. I will try it again soon on my computer. Some movies stream best when you use Firefox, so I will test that and let you know if you haven't already fixed the problem by then.
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I've had a couple of goes but it's not happening. I thought it would definitely just be me!
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isn't in the streaming - it's playing fine. But I can only see a quarter of the picture and I can't scroll it any which way.
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But it hung up here and wouldn't finish loading. I should be home in less than an hour, so I can give it another shot. How are you today, Wolf?
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Rob Schneider can't act. More coming soon.
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Totally different problem. Odd!
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In what decade? Ha!
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Try tilting your head and watching it sideways. It might make the screen look longer. That was mean. Sorry. :)
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For making me feel such a luddite. Really, Mav. Thanks.I've punched in Firefox and I now have a picture central.I'm great. Feeling like an idiot, but good. How are you?
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Alfred Molina and Angela Lansbury guest star on tonights (in the UK) Law & Order SVU.
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In some countries, that's called domestic abuse.
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I'm losing it. Sorry.
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Wolf, I am also in the habit of using IE and I get razzed about it, too. I only mentioned it because that's usually my problem when a movie isn't showing properly (and the compuer I'm on right now doesn't have FF loaded...but I won't add it since it isn't mine). Mr. Z, I have seen that episode of Law and Order. It's great. People forget sometimes how great Lansbury can be in a villain's role.
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I like Lansbury. She's like Dick Van Dyke, they're dependable procedural actors but if you ask them for more they can deliver it.
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I seriously loved that movie as a kid. I think why some people don't like it is Robin Williams as Pan. He's a real asshole in the beginning, and he stays that way right up until he turns into Pan, which is a very sudden change. It just sort of happens. Still, I love the movie. I'm just trying to explain why others may dislike it. It's a valid complaint I think.Rufio could have kicked Chuck Norris' ass. Hook got a cheap kill that time.
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I feel fine except from the nose up. At least it's just in the top of my head. I don't seem to use that much anyhow. ;)
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This show has the most 'fuck you' references to Internet fandom I've ever seen. It's either characters saying 'hahah, computers for geeks' or entire episodes saying online roleplayers are sexually repressed and insane.
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That's not the first time I have been told that actually, but I don't see it. I got a James Dean a couple of times too but I don't see that either. Makes sense I guess since James Franco once played James Dean in a biography, which he was great in if I remember.I think I would be happiest if someone told me I looked like Brian Blessed. I'm working on my beard just to make sure.
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Someday, I hope to tell him he's a legend.
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She can put many other actors to shame as a baddun'.
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Fraid not, but apparantly she's a phenomenal stage actress.
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I HATE these wise kid characters. The ones who use big words and act like adults. Freaks me the fuck out.
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You use IE???? I don't think we can talk anymore.
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But there are a few of you up, especially the close ups where you're smiling a mile wide, that you are the spitting image of Franco.And that profile picture of Brian Blessed has me roaring everything I look at it. Between that and pimping in the back of the "limo" with the sammich, you've got those profile pics going on.
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That really bugs me, for some reason.
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Did he retire and just forwards all his voice request to Michael Clarke Duncan?
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I bring up greatest trailer songs a couple of days ago and mention Immediate music and no one cared then? They did that bad ass song for the Walk Hard trailer.
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Is a redo of the old song by Apollo 440.
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Duncan MacLeod and Machete battle it out agahinst eyeborgs! Thats fucking awesome. Since we all of the sudden care about Trailer music, what is that track that's played at the end of the trailer? Its like used in tons of trailers.
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Of course nothings on.
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the girl in Rambo 2 is really cute!
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I heard that somewhere. I believe it.
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Navy NCIS? As in Navy Naval Criminal Investigative Service?
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Yep. It's awful.
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In Star Wars, Flash Gordon and (I think) Doctor Who? NICCCCCCE
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....need input.
Winston.....message me on there if you can. Or my email is:
dannyglovers.dickblood@gmail.com -
I'm completely out of my depth. It's a miracle I know how to access the internet and find my way to AICN/Z-dive :(
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What are we putting in Danny?
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Angela Lansbury was the original (Tony winning, I must add) Mrs. Lovett of Sweeney Todd. Not nearly as subdued as Helena Bonham Carter. You could see her character verging on the edge of lunacy all the time. Awesomely wicked!
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Have you watched Mindflesh yet?
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Her ep just finished. Much better than Law & Order usually is. Been a good two weeks for that show, Martin Short was brilliant last week.
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More IE hate? This is browserism! Is there an Internet equivalent of the NAACP who can help me fight this slander and injustice? Power to the people!!!
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Not yet. Only been here a few minutes. How was it?
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I had forgotten about the Martin Short one. Yes...it was fantastic. Have you seen the one with Robin Williams yet? Man...they get some great guest stars/stories on there for the big episodes!
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Didn't really do the business for me. Haven't got my thoughts in order to give a decent analysis as yet.
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Not yet, but I'll keep an eye out.
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But I especially appreciated it at the time because the subject was one I was studying in my Psychology class. It was interesting to be able to see how it could be done.
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It looks like Mindflesh is going to be viewable here. Cool! I'll have to wait a bit longer, though. Trying to do several thing at once right now so I would not be able to give it full and proper attention. He said it was like Cronenburg's work, so it should be watched when I can give it undivided attention. Sounds perfect for early morning after work.
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If Cronenberg, then his earlier work. I didn't think that myself. Hasn't got a movie 'look' - more 'made for TV.' In that sense, it kept making me think of a film called 'Xtro.' Storywise, it's nothing like that.Cronenberg, and a bit of Clive Barker too.
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Bachelor Cop - a Police Officer has to juggle being a Bachelor with his cop duties. Bachelor Cop, Bachelor Cop... you may sleep, but he'll never stop!
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But I do like Clive Barker. Color me intrigued.
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If you never see it you won't have missed anything. But it does have its moments.Xtro 2 is hilarious with booze and stars Jan Michael Vincent. Terrible, but inadvertantly funny.
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On MST3K?
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From what I gather, ghostly Anakin reappeared as Hayden Christensen because that was the last time he was a 'good' Jedi and before he fell for the dark side.It's still unsatisfactory. Because the very last time he was a good Jedi WAS as the old geezer, having turned on the Emperor. Lucas was right the first time, no need to change it.
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Although I've never seen MST3K. Is that 'Mystery Theatre'?
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It was a silly, but often funny, show about a guy who was trapped in a spaceship and forced to watch B movies. The characters (the man and his puppet sidekicks) would do their own dialog while the movie played. It's kind of like watching a bad movie with friends while you yell stuff at the screen. It's fun if you are in the right mood.
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the DVD's on sale. I'd rather just watch the bad movies without somebody dicking around on-screen! Though I do see the comedy possibilities...
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Early on Saturday morning when there was not much else on (unless you wanted to watch cartoons, infomercials, or dog shows). That timing was a plus for it.
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Another attempt by me to pull a Robot Chicken with my 'action figures.'
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I wasn't sure, but did you want to put your "Iron Man" review on the mavra site, or were you going to keep it just for your blog for now?
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TV at all. Caught a chat show earlier this evening and Adam Sandler was on, being interviewed. I think I've seen the grand total of 1 of his movies! But, he seemed like an easy going guy.
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I was getting overly addicted to CNN. Also, for some reason, my Internet doesn't seem to work well when I have my cable hooked up at the same time. I'd rather have the PC than the TV. I can watch tv here if I want to. I'm waiting for Lost to return.
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Not seen a single episode. What's all the fuss about? Couple of people at work have tried to explain the series to me but it just sounds tiresome and too much like hard work!
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Dec 12, 2008 6:44:42 PM CST
I was hooked on Lost in the first 10 minutes of the pilot
by mavra chang
Some people get annoyed about the never-ending puzzle theme to the plot, but I really like. I enjoy trying to figure out what they're going to come up with next and looking for all the "Easter eggs" they plant in the show (and even in some of the commercials...they sometimes show phony commercials that tie in to events on the show). I think it's fun. I also like most of the main characters...how they are written and how the actors portray them, especially Terry O' Quinn, Jorge Garcia, and Naveen Andrews.
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Put that bad-boy up on your site, yo.
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It's an odd show. I think a lot of people stick with it merely to see how it ends, and are prepared to overlook some absolute shite because they believe the story will only really add up when it ends. Personally, I can't be doing with it. I think Abrams is a hack, and that the show holding back on rewards for watching till the end is a bad way to go about a serialistic show. Say what you will about Heroes, when a season ends there's resolution rather than 'see you in nine months.
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They showed the remnants of the plane crash and a guy got sucked into the engine. How often does regular TV show something like that? I was a goner!
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You're gonna have your own section soon. Coolness!
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Didn't mean to forget her. Rousseau is a great character.
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I watched in its entirety was Heroes Season 1, and by the last episode I'd had enough. There was no real conclusion, I didn't think.Before that, the only other complete series I've seen was Twin Peaks!
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I can point at Rousseau as summing up my key problem with Lost. She is a great character... but she exists only to further the narrative. Where does she go when not on screen? What does she do off-screen? Why does she do it? She's a great character, but only exists when they want her to.
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I thought there was a resolution to Heroes S1. People I've spoken to have disagreed, but I thought it did a good job of ending S1. Granted there was a fair amount of carry-over to S2, but 'how do you stop an exploding man?' story ended there. A new one started in S2.
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... one about monsters in the ocean but gave up after about 3 episodes. Sick of the kid with his baby monster. Bollocks.Also tried a series with William Fichtner in it, I think aliens were involved but I couldn't stay with that one either.
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Prison Break's worth watching. It's like Shawshank on crack.
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I've been hoping that they would do a backstory on her sometime. Maybe part of the problem is the size of the cast. They really have a lot to try to cover every week with all of those people. I would neve debate that the show is perfect, only that it entertains me, which few shows do.
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If it entertains you, awesome. I don't ever want to change anyone's opinion on Lost because I know how annoying that can get. All the people who mock me for liking Heroes... God, they can fuck right off. And I suspect my Iron Man review will get 'hate' too.
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Some idiot just told me that my opinion was worth less than someone whose paid to write a review of a film... so I told his dumb ass that if I got paid 50p to write a review then by his logic my opinion would be more valid than his.
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No mocking from me. I'll have to read your Iron Man review. Sounds controversial.
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It was written pre-TDK, but I prefer Iron Man.
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See you around, people.Have a better one.
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but Kate always really bothered me as a character. Is that who you guys were talking about?
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Are pathetic characters.
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Let me know if it looks ok to you.
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I was talking about Rousseau. The Kate character is not on the top of my list either. I really like Hurley though. He's my fave by far.
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That was well put together. After a shitty week, I needed something to cheer me up.
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Is the fucking shit!!! Best show ever!!
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The Star Wars Rap? Or the Alvein and the Chipmunks rap? They were done by the same people. They were cartoons and funny as a poop hole.
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I've been watching Smallville non stop. And its not that good. WHY DIDN'T ANYONE OF YOU STOP ME!!!! WHATS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!
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Said Speed Racer was one of the top ten best movies of 08 with Wall-E being number 1. I think I'm gonna start reading that guys reviews and that guys reviews only, I should figure out his name.
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How do you get his job? Kid: Hey mom I want to just make bad ass sounds the rest of my life. Mom: Ok as long as your not loitering honey.
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Anyone else find it funny that Bridget Moynahan guest starred on an episode in which some rich hot shot ladies man lawyer is having hard time trying to tell the girl he just impregnated that he really loves her. When she herself was pretty much dumped on the spot by some famous pig skin tosser the second she became all preggos with his spawn?
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I really thought that the Eli Stone chat would bring people out of the wood work.
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Nice bitch slap on Eli tonight. America you are missing out.
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And see what that religion BS is all about. I only believe in one church and that is the Church of Chan.
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Is going to suck monkey nuts. You know whats really lame, Secret Millionaire.
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And they make fun of some Extra clip and make fun of some weird guy who is a "UFO FREAK" who got to ask the Chosen One a question. Sad fact is that this guy is some low budget G-List actor that has made guest appearances on crap for E before, and he is like 80.
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Dec 13, 2008 2:21:19 AM CST
either I'm moving really fast or my interwebs is moving really s
by series7
either way I'm drunk.
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Slow. Good night.
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Smallville is patchy, but Rosenbaum, Mack and John Glover are awesome actors.
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HOD and Danny both joined the mavra site. Rockin'!!!
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A mav-triumpth. MAVSOME.
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Engaged
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be honest, i cant sleep. i'm sick of the sound of women crying themselves to sleeep
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Engaged - as in to be married?Or engaged - as in distracted by something frightfully shiny?If the former - Congratulations, man!
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but have no fear, i am very very drunk. am i'm listening to credence
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The very best to you and your lady.
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it got rocky for a while but now we are very happy
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So, what's your beer of choice for this speacial occasion?
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an me have had a go on the religious sites, but while i see myself as very catholic the rest can be dammed. i got a great missus, and we think it is between us. she is an regular aussie lass (her old man is a mover and shaker though) i have this big catholic family. she has only one cousin. here is how good she is. our plan is to have a big ass sausage sizzle. invite all the mates and the family but not make each plate expensive. big wedding, at the church where they know me. but just snags on the barbie. she thinks this is a great idea. top bird. it is gonna be one of the biggestest weddings ipswich has ever seen. i have a big family. fuck she is awesome
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(xxxx)
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in queensland, xxxx is pronounced 'forks'
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(four ex)
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That sounds like one mighty fine shindig. Methinks there won't be much of Ipswich left standing by the end of the night!
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Brilliant. When I next go in Oddbins, the beer sellers, I'm gonna ask for 'Forks' and watch confusion reign on their faces.
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she is awesome. it is gonna be a slum wedding. but a fucking big ass one. i got a lot of family. having white russian with my sister tonigh (i have now switched to beers) it is gonna be awesome. we got no money, but you, if people judge they can fuck off, my mates will sort them out. it gonna be a huge wedding, but no steaks or shit, just sausages an potataoe sald. anyone has a winge, the old man and my mates will sort them out. i wont care, i will be somewhere else, doing something else.
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Kudos on the achievement.
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Roberts and Nolte have a gaping black hole where their chemistry is meant to be.
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some of the women dont like the idea. we are gonna put up a marque on this footy oval in the middle of town. there are two big schools in the town. i went to the other one. ma teaches at the catholic school. it is a rough town. the church from that school is where i got babtised. opposite is an oval. so we are stab ma to grab the oval. but the problem is this is a rough part of oz, and the women are worried about gate crashes. the women can't be talked to, but the men who are comining could rip this town appart. one of my uncles has a military cross (second only to the vc), it is rough town, but it would be a silly cunt who took on 150 male members of my family (when they are drunk)
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So far both me and chipps have posted in this thread while drinking. That's gotta be some kinda AICN 08 record.
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Any chance of some video footage of this event! :)
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rewatched the die hard seriers. as i remembered the first one was good, the second one was good, the third one was awesome. i didn't realise, but the bad guys in the first one used styers. that is the oz rifle. it is funny to watch 'professionals' use a weapon wrong
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but truth be told, last time i set myself on fire, a half a dozen people were filming, and all i got is pitures of the roof and the ground.
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There's just something about these TB's that inspire mass drinkage.What's the weather like in Wales? It's been pissing down in the North West for nigh on 24 hours. It's absolutely shite.
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Welsh. Says it all.
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How did you manage that, mate?
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what state is that in? (end quote george bush)
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you got zhurtha?. i'm now changing my profile pitutre to the scar.
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You got well singed.
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it got me. don't do it, bad idea
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don't be insane
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(short version) don't set fire to yourself. don't throw petrol on a fire. don't try to fight some more than a foot taller than yourself, don't worry about hasseling mal meninga, he won't do shit
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Don't crawl into a glass wall. You bounce off of it.
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Sound advice. I've put all the stupid stuff behind me. I hope.Does Mal Meninga still owe you a beer?
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chase a possum up a tree the day before a pack march (you will cut your foot) dont jump off a balcony into a tree (you tend to bounce off) don't head but windows, don't open beers with your teeth, be realitivly sober if you take a nude run run down a major road.......the list goes on
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Don't run along a three foot wall, because you will slip.
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Fucking classic.
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i said, 'what will you do if i one day get mal to give me that beer' she has wized up. she made no promieses, both she and i know that mal will one day give me that beer
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that movie is as gay as aids. i am gonna finish it now.
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emma has never seen national lampoons cristmas vaction. it will be popping her vaction cherry tommorrow. it is a christmas traditon.
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First one is a classic, endlessly quotable, terrific action. The second one was fun, but I didn't get into it like the first. With A Vengeance was also a lot of fun and much better than DH2.Die Hard 4, I barely noticed it. In one eye and out the other. The weird thing is - I saw the trailer about 3 times and each time McClane took out the chopper with a car he said "I ran out of bullets" or something. Then when I saw the film he said something like "Lots of people die in car accidents..."What happened to the "bullets" line?
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Aliens... Mermaids... Gladiators. It looks fucking terrible.
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not part of the series. die hard 3, the best one, die hard one, when they fire the steyer, it does not sound like a steyer, nor do they fire it like you would. to go to burst you have to go through single shot first, so it would go burgh...pause blablablabla, rather than straight to blablabla as it would if there was only one pressure
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He was plugging that on the 'One Show' last night. To be fair, he came across as an okay guy. Only seen him in one movie though. Think it was 'Waterboy.'
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I criticise Sandler... Abrams... heck, almost anyone. In real life, they're probably great chaps. But their work bugs me. Sometimes it is difficult to separate a person from the work, but when I say 'Abrams is a hack' I mean in terms of what he creates.
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Gotta go and get some scran now.Chipps, take it easy, man.Later, Mr. Z...
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i am flagging myself. superman isn't helpoing
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Though it seems like some of his movies would have been funnier if they just filmed the making of and released that instead of the movie.
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I don't know what it is about that movie but I want to see. So help me Allah. Even if its directed by the gayest director since Bryan Singer. It looks like a good kids movie, and not in that ohhh I'm hip and like kids movies even if they are boring Elf way. But in a damn good kids movie like Monster Squad or Jingle all the Way ...way. Fuck you I liked Jingle all the way!
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Every one of them is fucking classic. Even Die Hard 4.0: Live Free or Die Hard. The best action series ever. Followed by Rambo.
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Who wants to take bets about whether or not they are going to use lazers or real guns for the movie? I bet they use guns.
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Still struggling through Smallville?
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Still not very good. You not missing much. One of the most useless documentaries in recent history spawns an almost just as useless mocking of pseudo documentary. Only good if your a big fan of Douglas Benson such as meself.
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That I am in agonising pain.
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Yeah I watched a couple more Smallville episodes last night night. But now I'm watching the best show on TV right now, Star Wars the Clone Wars. And this episode is pretty damn bad ass. Its about two lesser Jedis attacking Grivesous's secret layer.
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Thanks again for the free movie. Never connected with it, though. The characters were painted pretty flat and I didn't much care what happened to them. The sex - rightly - wasn't sexy, but ugly. Overused as well, though I get it was driving the main character, his mind hooked into some past event. But I don't get what happened in his mind to create the monster or how his friends could be affected.Some nice camera angles, good idea at the centre of it, but - not for me.Or maybe I should give it another go! I'm rubbish at picking films apart and I usually miss the screamingly obvious. Although I did spot that Bruce was dead in the 6th Sense!
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That was a weird movie! What a great soundtrack - Radiohead, REM, Sigur Ros, Jeff Buckley, Beth Orton... I lost count of all the choons!Film was okay. Thinks it's too clever when in actual fact the ending is sign-posted all the way through.
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Vanilla Sky is fucked up.
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Mavra put up an Iron Man review I did before I saw TDK. I still agree with it.
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Yeh. It is. If you're not paying attention it's a mindfuck, to be sure.
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I'm in two minds about it... the script is tremendous, but I think Diaz is fucking horrible.
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I'm not getting into it!Good review. But I do think Favreau was aiming higher than a comic - you've got the opposite view, I think.I rate TDK higher. But once I've seen both movies a second time I'll be able to judge better.
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Diaz is a hound. I'm not mad keen on Cruz, to be honest but she's easier on the eye.
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My flaw is that I don't like the Iron Man comics, but I like the film... whereas I fucking love Batman comics, so the film suffers.
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But while I adhore violence against women... really, to think you're sleeping with Cruz and then find out it's Diaz? That'd fuck a brother up.
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I don't read 'em so I don't go in with a particular mindset. I'd never heard of Iron Man before I heard about the movie. And I really enjoyed the movie. But the fight at the end - just felt I'd seen it all before.
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the free Twitch film or planning to?
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I do intend to. Hopefully tomorrow.
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God, I really hate the majority of them.
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Looks like fun! The music is from Horner's 'Aliens' score. How many times has that cue been used in a trailer? A lot, I reckon.
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Ya know, I'm getting a little annoyed with people making intentionally corny grindhouse style films. The reason most of said films work is because no-one is playing it obviously for that market. If you asked them, they'd say they tried to make a good film and failed.
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Pity there's only a poster and no footage to peruse. I didn't know twas in the 'grindhouse' stylee.
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I read an article on it, and they seem to be playing the film up as such. Which is disappointing - the best dumbhouse flicks are ones that are trying to be good and failing.
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Looks fucking terrible in an awesome 'dumbhouse' style way. Wanna know how bad? He sticks out his claws, slices through a truck, and said truck flies through the air on fire towards a helicopter.
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'Dead' looks like it might be decent.Also, 'Written' - could be interesting.'Meat Grinder' - not keen. I mean, are we talking 'Hostel' style territory? I've seen so many gore films I'm desensitised now. The new stuff doesn't interest me, that's why I don't bother seeing things like 'Hostel.'I did watch Roth's 'Cabin Fever' and it was well overrated. One magazine proclaimed it as "the second coming of horror" or some such. Erm... no.
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Oh God - search for Spoony Experiment, Cabin Fever. The rant is awesome.
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Is that the trailer on Youtube? The really shite quality one? Couldn't see a thing that was going on! Is there a better version somewhere?I can handle some more Jackman/Wolverine. Haven't got that sinking feeling yet...
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Now THAT is how you do a dumbhouse film. It looks like they tried to make a serious, weighty film... but I just get the sense it's gonna be a train wreck. Which, to be fair, owes a lot to how batshit insane Wolverine's backstory is.
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love periods.
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... the Spoony Experiment review, but I've not read it yet. It's a big review! I've had a quick scan through and I'm looking forward to reading that.
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You should. His schtick is basically reviewing terrible films.
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You're still conscious! That's impressive.Or is it the next day in Oz now? I forget how far ahead you are...
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I concur - you've got stamina, sir.
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... to have misplaced me Crunchie bar. What the fuck've I done with it? Was here a minute ago...
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Not the Gnomes again.
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I clearly had a Crunchie.It's turned into a Double Decker.Yeh, I've been tippling the vodka, but not THAT much!
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gonna give superman returns another go.
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That's suicide?
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Dear God man, how much vodka have you had?
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... to start hallucinating.
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Wait - YOU'RE GONNA BE THE THIRD DRUNK ON THIS TB? I promise not to push you into drinking straight shots.
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Not well liked around AICN it seems. I didn't mind the movie but I'd forgotten it five minutes after the credits rolled. Not a good sign.
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i went through almost a bottle of vodka and a bottle of kalua
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That's insane!
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knocking 'em back straight!Correction - I WAS. I put the bottle to bed awhile ago.I've done the drunk posting thing already but I can't recall which TB it was in. Don't think I was quite as pissed as you and Chipps though.Wouldn't be able to spell if I was steamboats.
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I was rather drunk, wasn't I? And as usual, I ended up making things difficult for myself. Why does alcohol turn me into such a little emo-bitch? Gave me Forgetting Sarah Marshall flashbacks.
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was still shit
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When I had those it was with Tia Maria, not Kahlua. Same thing I suppose.
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Night, chaps. Time to turn in.
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Best to you and your Missus-to-be! Put me down on the list of those who'd love to see pics or vids of the party. Sounds like it'll be a blast!
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Anyone got a hammer? Stop 'em before they multiply!
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I should be asleep.
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But didn't know they'd made a cartoon. Guess I missed it. Maybe next time. Am I wrong to cheer on Dracula?
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I believe it's the first time I've used the term "meh".
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I'm awake reluctantly, kept coughing when I tried to sleep.
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You'll feel better.
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Not sure what is... but got a warm Lemsip anyways.
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And honey and lemon. Supposed to help ease up coughs and aches. Even if it doesn't fix them, it will make you care less that you have them.
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Name your poison.
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of vampire superheros for a sequel.
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Can't really tell from that gibberish. But it looked pretty cool. I didn't see Deadpool, and I hope that A) He is still in it and B) if he is that Fox is smart enough to keep it a secret like Dreamworks did with Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder. I wish more movies would do something like that. Rather then always blowing there load in trailers.
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Claws against fangs. Interesting match-up.
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Newest members of my cult...I mean site. That's 4, 4 CoC Warciples! Most excellent of y'all!
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And I no longer believe in Harvey Dent. Laters y'all, sleep time
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Sounds right up my alley. Thanks!
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Almost time for me to go to work. Have a great night everyone.
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Glad I saw that before I left. Much appreciated.
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but it didnt really leave an impression on me so I never bought the sequels. If you want to read a great lil' alternate Batman book, try Gotham By Gaslight, where a 19th century Batman clashes with Jack the Ripper who just moved to Gotham. It's drawn by Hellboy creator Mike Mignola, and it's one of the first books he did that really put him on the map as more that just some quirky comic artist.
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I'm still sick, so I just skimmed the tb, and didnt even watch the Twitch trailers yet.... right now I'm just trying to catch up on what I missed the past few days.
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Batman vs. Spawn. Anyone read the new Joker book?
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Rocky Balboa had more heart than any of QT's films.
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Is that a falcon on your arm in the picture? COOL!!!
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I feel like crap. An MA is exhausting.
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Whoo, this could get ugly. They still have two minutes, but Bills are driving. WOW! Fumble, Jets score!
Fred, are your Steelers ready for some serious football. I hope Ben has his insurance pais up, cause the Ravens are gonna kill em. -
I didn't know Vanilla Sky was a remake until I had a look at the scant extras on the DVD today.Is 'Open Your Eyes' worth a watch? I like Amenabar, thought 'The Others' was very good.
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You can come in from the ledge now.
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How is life on the other side of the pond?
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Falco tinnunculus. It is a kestrel, of the falcon family. I love kestrels so I was dead chuffed to get to hold one. Mind you, I've got the hots for all birds of prey.That particular kestrel is called Colin..."Colin, this is Mavra - Mavra, Colin, how do you do, pleased to meet you."
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Ben looks off - as usual. Is he still banged up? He missed an easy out pass.
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It's wet and cold! How's things with you?
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Did you ever watch Blackadder? There wa san episode where Blackadder is running for MP, and one of his opponents is a dachsund named: Colin.
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I'm watching football. Big game tonight for my Giants.
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I saw a few of them - never saw that one though.Did you know there's also a newish zombie movie around called 'Colin' as well!
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He's yours? Fabulous! I love that photo. Btw, anyone who sees any banners on my front page for Purdue should ignore it. I hate Purdue and am NOT keeping that there. (That is a big hint for the person not responding to my email).
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Never enough Zombies I say. You will habve to excuse me Wolfie, game back on. Chat with ya later.
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... wish he was!My sister bought me half a day's falconry training at a place called Gauntlet, in Knutsford quite near to where I live. Best birthday present I've ever had.
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I fully understand the importance of football, American AND English!As Bill Shankly, ex-Liverpool manager once famously said: "Football's not about life and death; it's more important than that..."I might not have got that quote exact but it's near enough.
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Your sister must be a very cool person.
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She is.A lot of the pictures didn't come out - I was gutted! But a fair few were okay.
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13th member. Glad there's no superstition. You have the best pic, though, Wolf (seconded by the interesting Oswald one from HOD). I keep checking to see if that logo is gone yet. I'm considering putting a photo of me with IU memoribilia up if it stays for much longer.
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Can't see no irritating logo! The big 'P' thing? What's it mean?
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Means Purdue University. It's just across the river from my home. I had a discussion last night about how much I dislike it and now it is on the home page. I am annoyed. Couldn't tell, could you? :)
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Completely hypopathetically, if one wished to, say, post a review on your site - not that I do because I'm rubbish at reviewing - how would one go about it?
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... quite calm and collected about the whole logo scenario.
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You could take the route Mr. Zeddemore does, which is post it on somewhere yourself and allow me to copy/paste. You could email it to me through the Z-site, or you email through the contact form on the mavra site. The contact form does not go directly to me, btw, because I didn't set it up. I get things forwarded from that. Emailing through Z goes to me.
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HOD's picture! What's the deal behind that? Is HOD Ruby or Oswald?
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We shall have to quiz him on that. Sorry if my last post seemed a bit off. I ordered some DVD-Roms to be sent to HOD and they called me because I don't have a phone number for him. Got it fixed, but I don't talk on the phone and type at the same time very well.
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through the Z-site, do you mean your personal e-mail on your contact page?
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I already challenged you. You wouldn't force me to call a "triple-dog-dare", would you?
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I had the same problem! Amazon wouldn't let me send 'em until I got his phone number! What's that about?
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You can do it through sending a message, or use my personal email, which I also sent. Will that work?
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I gave them my number since I didn't have his, so they needed me to verify his address. No biggie.
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If I send anything for your site I'd rather it go straight to you and not the z-dive.I'm the only person in the world who uses Lotus WordPro. Would you prefer if I 'save as' a Word document, or doesn't it matter?Be aware, I haven't written anything yet!
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I don't know what that means. Sounds like a sturdy challenge. You can't frighten me!
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IF (see, I said if ;) ) you send something and it conficts with my word system, I'll let you knwo and you could try a different way then. I doubt anyone is checking up on this right now anyhow, so here's my email.
jordana1579@yahoo.com. That should simplify everything. -
Shame, shame. It is a true American Christmas classic. You really must find it, then you would understand the importance of a triple-dog-dare.
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Did you ever find root beer?
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I got your e-mail on z-dive. Any old nutjob can see that now! What if Fruit Salad is lurking? You don't want your inbox crammed with "Mmmm hmmmmms" do you!
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I can order some online, but I've been trying to find somewhere local where I can just go in and grab some. No luck so far. May have to go the online route. What was it - A&W?
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I can block anything I don't want to deal with. No worries.
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You may be right about nut jobs and email. I forgot...one time I put up my old MySpace address and I was contacted the next day by Scriptgirl. Maybe I shouldn't do those sort of reckless things.
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Scriptgirl, eh. Was she looking to be your best friend?I don't bother with her TB's, by the way.
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I get at least two e-mails trying to sell me Viagra - and there'll be one informing me that my bank transactions have been suspended and I need to send them all my bank details immediately...Do they think I was born on an idiot farm?
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When she first showed up here and I was foolishly trying to show support. I have since realized my error in jusgement. Yeah, she did want to be friends because I was one of the few standing up for her at that time. Egg Salad was tossing out all sorts of insults at me and I was making it worse by calling him things like "sweetheart" and "cutie". Boy, was he ticked! She messaged me to thank me. Whoopdy doo, huh?
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And letters from pretty Russian girls looking for American men. Eeeewwwww!
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kinda ironic that instead you ended up outing her team's fraudulent asses.
I might send a review your way eventually, I'll also have to register to your site I guess, once I'm feeling better. Still lazy from being sick all week.
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You don't have to register to send anything. Zeddemore hasn't yet. On the otherhand, signing up doesn't obligate anyone to anything either. I'd be happy to have you send in reviews, or whatever you like. My email is carelessly placed a few posts up, if you want it. I hope you feel better soon. So many people on here are sick now. Must be the season for it.
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I turned on her, in her viewpoint. I saw it the other way. I admit that a large part of what I did was a personal grudge. Jacknancerevenge was insulting me (although I had not done so to him)and everyone else on the TB and then she put up a header about spending the holiday with him. Done ticked me off. I still maintain that I did not insult her personally, just him and Chance.
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... to sleep.Have a good night, folk. And get well soon, Milf!
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When I'm getting angry about things said by people I've never even met, it's time to give it up. Silly stuff.
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Sweet dreams.
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Oh fuck.....I'm done with you.
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...I thought about it. I've forgiven you and I'm willing to take you back, Mavra.
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Your understanding may be one of the few bright spots in my night. I have done many mea culpas over my SG transgression. I was naiive. What else can I say?
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Whats popping.
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Has anyone seen this, have you heard of this?
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From IMDBEastwood: 'America Has Gone Soft'Clint Eastwood sorely misses his tough youth, insisting America has gone soft since.
The 78-year-old actor claims life was simpler and easier in his upbringing during the depression - when problems were solved using fists rather than a therapist's couch.
Eastwood tells the January edition of Esquire magazine, "Everyone's become used to saying, 'Well, how do we handle it psychologically?'
"In those days you punched the bully back and duked it out. People were tougher then.
"I was a shy kid. But a lot of my childhood was spent punching the bullies out." Amen brother, A fucking men.
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is usually the ladies' job.
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hehehehe....
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Bullies usually have low self-esteem, so they make themselves feel superior by picking on others. Eastwood 'punched bullies out', thus making them have even lower self-esteem, thus making them take it out even more on others. Presumably those others included their kids. So now these bullies' kids grew up scared of abuse and ended up having even more screwed up kids themselves, and that generation is the one that started the 'going to the therapist' trend. Therefore proving the theory that Clint Eastwood is the root of all society's problems.
I'm the milf lover, and I dont know what the hell I'm talking about. -
they actually liked it? I can't decide if Blood or Assassination of Jesse James blah blah blah was the best movie last year. I still think I'm going to go with Assassination, but it's reeeeeal close. The camera work in Blood is so subtle, beautiful with its motion, yet so concentrated with its composition, that it just blows my mind every time I notice some new little shot in the movie.And I think Daniel Day Lewis' performance will become legendary. Like Marlon Brando, Orson Welles legendary.I still can't truly pin why Assassination is the better movie to me though. I guess it's too many things to all come out of my brain at once.
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that made about as much sense as a rhino suddenly crashing through the room and punching my grandma in the face to celebrate the first day of Hanukkah.
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but WHEN THE FUCK is Red Sun getting a U.S. release date? Charles Bronson and Toshiro Mifune in the same movie? Why wasn't that a series or something?
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has anybody here ever seen this?
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http://tinyurl.com/678ugs
doesnt look like it had a big release, but apparently it exists.
I think I may have seen Red Sun when I was a kid, but I'm not sure. Looks like the kind of movie my dad would have liked. -
should've asked for this for Christmas. Guess I'll just order it online sometime.
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Alain Delon is the bad guy in that movie! And it has Ursula Andress (of Dr. No bikini fame) as the main girl.RED SUN HAS THE COOLEST CAST OF ALL TIME!
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Its the best Samurai/gunslinger team up movie in existence. Its also, I think, the only one but its frigging fun as hell. Bronson and Toshirô Mifune were great in it. If you watch it, pay particular attention to the whore house ambush scene.
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Dec 15, 2008 1:08:18 AM CST
DANIEL DAY LEWIS DON'T CARE 'BOUT BLACK PEOPLE
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Its right there side by side with BLACK RAIN in my book. Michael Douglas = PIMP MADE MUTHAFUCKA'
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...Catherine Zeta Jones had it written into their pre-nuptial agreement that if they divorced she would get $1.7 million for each infidelity she found out about.
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I'm guessing instead of $1.7 million for each infidelity, he just gets the name of the guy so he can go beat them up good.
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Yusaku Matsuda. One of the most badass Japanese actors ever. He was also the inspiration for the physical appearance of the Jubei Yagyu character in the Onimmusha 2 video game. Which is pretty cool in my opinion. He's on a very short list including Takeshi Kaneshiro and, get this, Jean Reno (apparently, Japanese people love him).
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Since we are talking samurai gunslinger movies. Has anyone checked out the dvd for it yet? Its in some cool metallic case. Why can't all dvds be in cool cases?
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SWD was pretty kickass in my opinion.
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Any fucking actor worth a nearly a billion dollars isn't a pimp. They get cooze thrown at them. Pimps are fat guys, dudes with serious burns or missing limbs banging twat way above thier level. That's big pimping. Those motherfuckers have the strong pimp hand and should be held up as role models to young pimp padawans in training.
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I have no fucking clue what the word "pimp" implies any more.
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Have you read the Marvel comic, Samurai Legend?
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I'm up to the latest issue. I think it's Issue 3? Anyway, the art in that comic is pretty amazing. I love the designs for the main samurai hero and the three evil sisters. Story's pretty run of the mill though.
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Yeah I really liked it. I was just stuck in Target today dicking around in the DVD section trying to find anything interesting. That TDK batpod looks really cheesy.
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I look like a hobo!
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The 3 issues out. Haven't gotten around to reading them. Did you read the Wolverine story from what I take it is the French arm of Marvel?
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The dvd covers to season 1 and 2 of that show are really awesome. Too bad that show isn't that good. Its kind of boring. I did however enjoyed the 2 episodes of the Xtacles, I wish they made that into the main show.
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It came out back in September. Its done by the same people that did Samurai Legend and have some some other things. They were originally French comics.
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I spend a few days ill and sulking and I miss all this action,
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that you, my poor misguided children, are making. 1)Superman Returns is inexcusably awful 2)So is Ang Lee's Hulk 3) Hot Toddy= greatest flu cure ever. To make (My Scottish Mother's recipe)- take 1 big mug, put in 2 tea spoons of runny honey, the juice of half a lemon a FUCKING HUGE shot of whisky (always whisky- never, ever brandy), and fill up with boiling water. Stir until honey is dissolved. Drink fast. I have been floored with the flu and have consumed about 800 in Since thursday. I think I may possibly still be a bit pissed.4)Hook is also dreadful. Where is this revisionism coming from? 5)Congrats Chipps. 6)Zombie Strippers= GOLD. No word of a lie. GOLD. I know this wasn't mentioned, but I thought I would. 7)Watchmen= Overrated. I read it this weekend, and it failed to change my life/ suck my cock/ open my mind etc. And the squid thing is fucking stupid. 8)Equus the play by Shaffer isn't about a horse fancier. It's about God etc. Equinas was a pervert that liked fucking horses, and the documentary that Vern reviewed was about a guy that died from being fucked in the ass by a horse. 9)England are busy losing the cricket. That shall do.
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That you did - I wrote a review saying Iron Man's my fave comic-book film.
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frankly. Iron Man would be poo without Downey. He covered a lot of mediocrity. There's a big poster for "Monkey: Journey to the west" outside my office window that's fucking with my mind. Yikes!
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it isn't. It's quite good.
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It would be nothing without Downey... but he brought the whole thing to life. The casting is a coup in the film in the same way that Heath's was for TDK... throw almost anyone else in as The Joker, and that film would lose a lot.
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Jarv approves of Hot Toddies. Nuff said.
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slightly disappointed. but i had built it up. as i think, one of my favourite carpenter moives. i still say he is a hack
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dk>iron man
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just this masochistic charles manson dude. like a dog chasing a car. you hit him and he enjoys it. but it is belivable as a character. and the way he moves, i love it. one thing i do i watch people move, i know who i'm dealing with the way a man stands. you can look at a person move and know what they are on about. and ledger just moves funny in that movie. it is increadilbe, like the girl in the ring. amazing. but we were spoilt, cause iron man was fucking awesome. plus i superman returns and it was shit
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And, I have to say, I think I was much too harsh in my criticism of it. It's a good film. Still not my cup of tea - I like my comic book films more comic book-y - but good all the same.Morning, all.
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And I thoroughly enjoyed it. That, to me, is what a comic book film should be - big, bold, colourful, imaginative, and fun.I reckon I might buy myself that one for Christmas.
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Shit.
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Not great, but one of the better direct-to-dvd sequels I've seen, and a god damn fucking masterpiece compared to 2.
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It was like someone filmed a computer game in live-action... but you couldn't join in and had to watch a simulated version.
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I would like to also buy Hellboy while I'm getting myself Hellboy II, but I'm not sure which version to get.There's a cool tin thingy with the 2 disc versions of both films available, or I can buy them separately and get the longer version of the first film. But is it worth it? If it's just three extra minutes or somesuch I think I'd rather have the cool tin thingy.
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I'm not a fan of them if I've seen the original first... I just see the extended stuff as padding.
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Off the top of my head, the only extended cuts I've enjoyed are Aliens and The Abyss.I was just wondering if any if any of the Ain't It Cool types knew which of the two versions of Hellboy was worth investing in.I get some good advice from this place.
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I'm still pumped from 'that' scene in last weeks Heroes where they remembered that Oka can do more than 'insert goofy expression' here.
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I only watched Hellboy once. And I'm still pained after watching the Donnie Darko Directors Cut, which... urgh. I respect Kelly wanted to get his vision out, but the original DD cut is so much better.
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First I liked the film, then I listened to Kelly's commentary and started to suspect the film was only good by accident, then I saw the director's cut and became convinced the original was only good by accident, and then... well, then I saw Southland Tales, and I became convinced the only way Richard Kelly ever gets his shoes tied in the morning is by accident.
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I think sometimes... people do their best work when pushed into a hole. When he was given final cut, he produced an interesting mess.
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I have milled around this one at the local Blockbuster several times. Part of me thinks, "It's called Zombie Strippers, how can it not be good?", but then there's another part of me that says, "Remember when you thought almost the same thing about Snakes On A Plane?"So, I don't know. Is Jarv's recommendation enough? Anyone else seen it?
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Blade Motherfucking II (which, I believe, should retroactively become its official title).Hellboy II had put me in the mood for some more Del Toro comic book goodness, so I dusted off Blade Motherfucking II for another go around, and it's still the best god damn comic book adaptation of all time. Just great. Great story, great characters, great visuals, great fight scenes. Great, great, great, great.Man, what I wouldn't give to see Guillermo Del Toro's version of Batman.
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I guess that's just me liking how stoic Snipes is. He grounds the crazy.
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Second...glad you liked Hellboy II Frankie. I've never seen the extended edition of the first Hellboy, so I can't weigh in on which version to buy.
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since you did enjoy TDK a lot more than your earlier delusional thoughts about it. Baby steps.
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Robert Englund is good in it, and by good I mean rather amusing performance.
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On the flip side, I've noticed people have started seeing the flaws in TDK. Hopefully we can all hit a middle ground of 'it's good, but not the best thing ever.'
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As well as all laugh at Harvey's make-up.
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I agree with your point about Downey, HOWEVER, he is in the movie and thus makes it one of the best superhero adaptions in my mind. There's no use doing the what-if-scenario. I'm just glad that for whatever reason he agreed to do it.And yes, Blade II is awesome.
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I dithered in the same way about it. Fuck you Snakes on a Plane. However, if you can accept it's obvious limitations and just enjoy shit like Nietsche quoting strippers, a novel use for snooker balls, gratuitous titties, Robert Englund, Paco (my new hero), Christian stripper who's boyfriend asks her for a Rusty Trombone or a Squelchy Chewbacca (I dread to think what that is), then it becomes genius. Satire it is not, no matter how hard it tries.
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I kid. I really can't wait to view it a second time. I don't think it will change my mind as I love Batman Begins.
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The chances of him ever playing that role again are are somewhere on a par with the chances of me ever liking Lorelai Gilmore again, but I choose to keep hope alive. In both cases.Kirk Jones did his best, I suppose, but how the hell can you replace Wesley Snipes? He IS Blade!
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but the point stands- outside of Downey it really isn't that good. I reckon I'm going to notice a lot more of its flaws this time round and that will annoy me. Intensely.
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You'll be happy to know that Paco goes out in a blaze of glory (Your The Jovi connection, thus making it impossible for you not to watch said film).
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I think I may just be more forgiving though.
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He's a man... in an iron suit who flies. Best. Movie. Ever. (Counting seconds till someone replies 'you're an idiot' and misses the tongue-in-cheek nature of this post.)
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I've seen the extended Hellboy, and there really isn't much more. I can't even remember what differences there were. Just same scenes, but longer. Nothing that changed anything.Best Extended/Directors Cut?Kingdom of Heaven. The theatrical cut was god fucking awful. I hated it when i saw it at the cinema. Orlando Bloom has only EVER been good in one role. Legolas. Anyway, I heard the raves about the directors cut so i gave it a shot. It's a great film. Bloom is still woefully miscast, but it was very good. Why the fuck Ridley bowed to studio pressure and released the shithouse 2 hour version is beyond me.Aliens and Abyss extendeds are awesome. Especially The Abyss, which makes the film great, while the theatrical was only good.
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Downey was there for months BEFORE filming started. He helped Favreau with the script... so you can't disassociate him from the movie, at all. It's not like showed up on set and read the lines... he influenced the script.
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I had no interest in Iron Man until Downey Jr was cast. He made that film better than it deserved to be.
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Preface: don't worry Frankie, I did watch a rom-com and immediately jumped in a bubble bath afterwards to savior the experience. Robocop (not the rom-com I'm talking about Frankie) - still filled with wicked awesomeness. This holds up remarkably well, and even Mrs. Pillow watched it, which surprised me to no end. A note perfect movie for me. In Bruges - I fucking love, love this movie.You've always been a cunt, you'll always be a cunt. You'll just become a bigger cunt. And you have cunt kids. (paraphrasing of course) SPOILER for those who haven't seen it......And Colin Farrell lives ya bitches, he lives!Love Actually - I never saw this and it is really quite good. Everyone pretty much rocks in this and all the stories were good. The little boy vs. airport security is a bit much, but....
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I really did love it. What a beautiful film.P.S. How the hell am I insane? I don't get it. I gave the film another chance, I realised I wasn't fair to it before, and i put my hand up and admitted I was wrong. That makes me insane?
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Fraid so. If you weren't fellating TDK when it came out, you are insane.
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Couldn't agree more with KOH extended cut. It explains her insanity much better to say the least for one...Aliens - I do not like the extended cut for the simple reason that there was no reason to actually show Newt's parents get up close and personal with one of the aliens. Rubbish. Leave it as a "discovery" for the Marines.
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But that happened before TDK, when I said I didn't like Alien... when I criticised Lost... when I enjoyed Congo, Surf Ninjas, Super Mario Bros and Streetfighter... and when I said ROTS was a piece of shit.
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Robocop - great.In Bruges - great.Love, Actually - fuck right off.
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That should have said NOT completely insane. Hey, look...Santa! *Pillow does a tuck and roll to escape situation*
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Bill Nighy's best role is in Love, Actually. Fact!
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I had to take care of it. The cream didn't seem to work, so I gave Love Actually I try.
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numero uno once again.
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Maybe I'll skip the extended cut and buy myself the fancy Hellboy I & II tin.I'll be such a happy little boy when I open that on Christmas morning."Oh... what's this... Hellboy AND Hellboy II... both together in this delightful tin! Oh, thank you, Santa!"
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Beards are itchy.
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Dec 15, 2008 7:02:25 AM CST
One thing that puts me off renting Zombie Strippers
by franklin t marmoset
I will feel like such a douche taking that up to the counter. I have no problem with people knowing I am renting/buying porn, but to have people thinking I'm renting a dopey horror film because I don't have the balls to rent proper porn... I don't know if I can take that.
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I watched it on the weekend as well. These are my conclusions...1. It's too fucking long. I paused it to go for a smoke after what felt like ages, and it was an hour in, with an hour and a half to go.2. The scene where Harvey Dent hold the press conference and declares himself "the Batman" is the worst scene in the movie. Why the fuck are journo's screaming "This is all Batmans fault!" and "He should turn himself in!"? And the extras are fucking terrible! There is one annoying bitch who is theatrically shaking her head and sporting a "smelling dogshit" expression in every shot.3. The Harvey Dent transition to Two Face should have been set up in this film and resolved in the next. Have him escape, and seek his revenge, but leave him unresolved. Still have Batman taking credit for his crimes, but they spent the whole film building him up then blew their load trying to resolve him in the last 15 minutes. It felt too rushed and truncated. And left you thinking "He can't be dead!".4. Gyllenhall was miscast. And mis-played every scene she was in. Especially the courtroom scene that introduces Harvey Dent. Her delivery of the dialogue was awful. Never before have i wished that Katie Holmes was in a film.5. Having Scarecrow in it then doing nothing with him was fucking stupid, and detracts from his character that was well played in the first film.6. Finally, when all is said and done, Heath Ledger saved the film. It would have been mediocre without him. He elevates every scene he's in to genius. Every other scene suffers in comparison (apart from the Hong Kong scene).Despite its flaws its a very good film, but there are too many problems for it to be a great one.
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Saw it yesterday and I tell you what. Great fucking film, but depressing as hell and pretty intense and brutal. Not a forgiving film. Highly recommended, but you'll need a stiff drink afterwards.
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I was disappointed they didn't release a bluray two pack in that tin. I would've bought it. It's all shiny and stuff.
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There is no disputing the transformation of Dent was too rushed a la Vader and shoehorned in like Venom.
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Mrs. Jarv called Lovefilm yesterday to try to organise 1 years subscription as a christmas present for my computer illiterate parents. While on the film she was aghast to discover that because of films like Ichi the Killer, Zombie Strippers etc Lovefilm have her on some sort of pervert list. I think this is hysterical. The guy at Lovefilm admitted that the chances of them sending me The Hulk are fucking zero, because we live in London, and can get it easily. Apparently this is their unofficial policy- if you live in a metropolitan area, then you get obscure/ old films off them and not recent Blockbusters. How fucking annoying.
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I don't get why you're still with them. I know you hate Blockbuster, but their online service is much, much better than Lovefilm.Mind you, I like the idea of being on a pervert list...
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That's fucking ridiculous. I'd be more inclined to red-flag people who rent musicals and Hannah Montana as perverts over Zombie Strippers!Fuck Lovefilm.
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Huh? That's odd. I lived near London up to September and they sent me anything I asked for. Besides... that's a contradiction. Ichi The Killer's relatively obscure so she should be allowed to get that... but she's called a pervert? If those fuckers sell it, they've got no grounds for calling anyone else perverted.
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I think he was going to be, but I bet they bring him back for another go. If Ledger hadn't croaked then he would be dead. I liked what they did with Scarecrow
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and we've raised about 7 flags so far. Fucking outrageous- the guy she spoke to said that people like us that load the list with obscure stuff and live in London basically have no chance of getting The Hulk. Cocksucker. I couldn't fucking believe it.
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And that's what I initially thought, that Dent wasn't dead either.
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fucking outrageous. Just as well I hadn't put Visitor Q on it.
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WHY ALLOW SOMETHING TO BE RENTED IF YOU'LL THEN FLAG THE PERSON WHO RENTS IT? That there's it, I'm not renewing mine.
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don't let you rent generic trash because you've rented slightly obsure films?Fuck Lovefilm!
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change. Fucking outrageous 1984 behaviour. Mrs. Jarv is fuming because it's in her name.
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How quickly life in the NFL changes...Toad, you getting a little antsy yet? They G-men have played like shit the last two weeks, and it looks like they are just going to hand over home field advantage to Hawaiian's Panthers. Yikes. I hate to admit it, but Carolina seems to have hit their stride now. All will come to fruition next week for either Carolina or the Giants.Xi...I heard Zona could use a defense? Swiss cheese 'D'. So how much they lose by in the first round?Fred, props to ya Steelers. They find a way. Ben is not a good QB...and yet he always finds a way to get that last drive down the field. Hines is a hell of a player BTW. Jets live another day until they lose it the last game against the year to Chad.
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see you soon.
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The only problem that drives me nuts, and Node has mentioned it...is THE RIDICULOUSLY LONG FUCKING TIME ONE HAS TO WAIT TO GET A NEW FILM. Asshats.
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I saw a new trailer for Defiance yesterday and it was FUCKING brilliant. I had ZERO interest in the film, and now I really want to see it. All the cockheads who market shit like Star Trek and Watchmen need to watch the Defiance trailer because thats how its done. Not just a collection of random images set to thumping music.The best trailer of the year apart from Gran Torino.
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what fucked her off was the douche's attitude which was basically "You don't like it, you can fuck off. If you were that keen to see it you could have bought it already". Prick. Why should I be lower priority than some cunt that chooses to live in the fucking outer Hebrides just because I live in civilisation?
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throwing his shoe at Bush?Bushman..."I don't think you can take one guy throwing shoes and say this represents a broad movement in Iraq," he said. "You can try to do that if you want to. I don't think it would be accurate."
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Don't forget about the Cowboys win over the Giants! Fuck the Giants!
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Me thinks you should switch to Blockbuster and shove those red flags up Lovefilms' ass.
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Well, I did indirectly as the Giants have played like shit the last two games.I hate the Cowboys though, so Owens can suck Romo's cock. Romo sucks and Owens is a complete asshole. I always wished he would run a crossing route, a high throw...and then a linebacker comes in and wallops him and breaks all his ribs. That would be great.
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That movie looks like utter shit.
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Even if he doesn't get arrested, he still has to walk home without his shoes.His socks will be ruined!
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You needn't wish that on Romo and Co. They'll find a way to lose the unloseable. No threat to the trophy.
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I've tried all three of the services that used to be available - Blockbuster, Lovefilm and Amazon (I think Lovefilm and Amazon have merged now) - and Blockbuster's was easily the best. They have a great selection, they always arrive quickly, and I never had a problem getting either mainstream stuff or the more obscure titles.Mind you, I don't live in London, although fuck knows why that would make a difference.
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'Get some sun Fatty!' was posted to me in the Heroes TB. My reply: '... Fatty? - how does that work as an insult? Even if I was overweight, it's not like I wouldn't know that and be suddenly caught off guard by you pointing it out... so you'd be telling me something I already knew, which kind of makes for a lame insult in the same way that it'd be a lame insult if you yelled 'four eyes' or 'shortie' or 'hey fanboy.' Instead of an insult, why don't you just go fuck yourself.' I love how inept the Internet has made these 'social elite' people.
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This is the first time she's had to talk to them.
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I don't get why he gets a buy for doing such an awesome job on Ironman. Ironman made for one awesome trailer. Other then that it was just kind of bland. Seriously, how did you he get such a boring performance out of Jeff Bridges when he looked that bad ass????? I mean Jeff Bridges looked eviler then Maggie Gyllenhall did as the joker. But then he comes off as this semi sleeze ball nice guy? The movie was overly long, also I've heard that a lot of the script was improvised and they didn't really have a finished script going into shooting???? Then you go and fucking loose what would've lead to the second best comic book hero casting ever after RDJ as Ironman. And fucking replace him with that bitch of an actor Don Cheedle?? Really, he's going to be WAR MACHINE? He barley looks like an Ant Man? Hard out Here for a Pimp would have made that role much much better. Don Cheedle all I'll hear coming out of his mouth is, PLEASE GIVE ME SOME SORT OF OSCAR THIS TIME!!! PLEASE!! I'M REALLY DRAMATIC!!! COME ON I'M LIKE THE 20th CENTURY Sidney Poitier!!! But then again Heath Ledger was "fearless" as Joker?
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and it's well out of order. What's the point of having "priority" if they choose what to fucking send you. I hate Blockbuster because of their attempts at corporate censorship so will not give them money ever.
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Apparently Howard was either: a) an asshole on set, b) Wanted too much money, or c) Had to have a lot of his performance edited because they weren't impressed.
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But, I must admit, most of that is based on Hustle & Flow, which I liked very much. A lot of time has gone by since then and I'm still waiting for him to do something as good.So, if they want to replace him with Cheadle for Iron Man II: The Ironing, that's alright with me.
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I hate losing him for continuity reasons, but they could do worse than Cheadle. And I think 'Roberts' can be my TB nemesis.
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Robert Downey Jnr in blackface again!Think about it, Downey was a big part of why Iron Man worked, so double the Downey should result in double the goodness. That's just simple mathematics right there.
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You don't really need Rhodes there, anyway.
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Fuck that. Seriously, who gives a fuck?
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Do any of you guys have a TB nemesis?
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Mr Z, you have inadvertantly given me a handy catchphrase to use whenever I want to wind you up for no good reason.Your skin is melanin deprived, and your caloric intake exceeds your exertion levels!
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Jarv is your man to ask about that. He has several hundred.
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That makes me laugh. If it was meant to wind me up, bad luck dude.
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if Howard, Cheedle or fucking Vanilla Ice played the part. Stop whinging.
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Dec 15, 2008 8:32:13 AM CST
Too bad the Iraqi journalist didn't throw a bag of dog crap
by hawaiian organ donor
At Bushie. He's become a national hero.I watched The Visitor over the weekend and it has moved into my top 5 best of the year. What a perfect movie.The Panthers are suspect no longer. Talk about a team coming together and getting big wins down the stretch. And no disrespect to Fred, I don't understand all the Steelers love today. They may have won two big games back to back by coming from behind in the dying minutes, but I think that's more the other team choking than Pittsburgh making big plays. Dallas and Baltimore played well for over three quarters and then played garbage when it mattered. They could easily be 9-5 right now. Once again, no offense to Fred, but if the Steelers meet a team in the playoffs who show up for all 4 quarters, I don't see them going far. Of course I say this and the Panthers will end up falling apart and making me look like an even bigger idiot than usual.I had entirely too much beer and wine yesterday. I'm going to be paying for that all day.
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Memories-of-Murder, that Paulie douche, cocococococococolopez to name but 3 of my trolls. You can borrow them if you like.
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No thanks... for some reason I think your rage towards them would be more fitting.
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is back again. Vile fascist cuntflap that he is.
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Whuh?
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I must be sick.
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AnimalStructure/ BlackCrippler/ BraneRobot/ ThunderBalls. He's reappeared as RowdyRoddyStripper and is an offensive racist scum bucket. Fucking hate him.
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I agree, if it's that bad it must therefore be hilariously awful
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Yup, The Visitor was indeed awesome. And to defend Fred's Steelers...it matters not how they looked for the first 3 quarters, but how you finish it. Good teams know how to finish.
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Nor is there any reasoning with such a piece of shit.
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Now I want to see it, too. Any film in which Eve Mendes gives the best performance has GOT to be worth a look.
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That bad, ey? Yeesh
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Mrs. Jarv refuses to have it in the flat. She thinks it looks like shit.
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I think it's because I don't take it seriously enough. Most recently, I tried to start trouble in Dark Knight thread by suggesting Joel Schumacher should take over from Nolan and Batman should fight a shark (which he should), but no one took the bait.
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Heh - want to go into The Dark Knight board and see how long we can make people think Nolan got replaced by Ratner?
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I'm not saying they don't manage to come together at the end, but when the other team gives it away, you don't have to work that hard. The Cowboys and Ravens collapsed completely in the final minutes. Last week the Cowboys defense was phenomenal up until Romo threw the interception. Once again, I'm not trying to offend Fred, but looking at Peter King and all the other analysts this morning, you'd think the Giants and Steelers games were the only ones played yesterday.Jarv, I'm getting concerned that you haven't received my package yet. I sent it two weeks ago. Even with Christmas season, this is unacceptable. And I should have thrown Speed Racer in there.
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I've just posted that the new Batman film (Batman : The Rise Of Robin) is to be directed by Ratner, but on one will go for it.I also suck at pretending to be serious, because I can never stop myself from laughing.
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I also suck at typing.
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And that's what separates good teams from bad. The Bills know what this is all about.
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I've sent some DVD-Rs your way. Should be arriving towards the end of this week. Happy Festivus indeed. :)
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Dec 15, 2008 9:44:03 AM CST
I've added to your comment Frankie in the TDK thread
by just pillow talk
I doubt anyone will even notice.
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Remember that guy who quietly implied he was George Lucas's son, and he had all the scoops about Indy 4?That was a guy who could commit. I can't do that. I start out with the best of intentions, but I always end up taking the piss too much.
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by calling the Rush Hour films "brilliant". Too much, eh?
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You're my favorite Chang.Speaking of reviews, that Spirit review sure seems to have stirred people up.And the AFI is officially worthless. Iron Man was enjoyable but a top ten contender it ain't.
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Arguments prompt discussion.
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Dec 15, 2008 10:07:08 AM CST
is it just me....or is BNAT always a shit line-up?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
I would seriously make an effort to get in and fly out there if it the line-up improved a bit. What the fuck....45 minutes of a Pixar movie, 20 minutes of Watchmen, Valkrie, and Che? Really? What the fuck would I go through the effort of getting in for? Valkrie is out in 2 weeks and the rest of the films I can give a shit about. Oh well....it just amazes me people are so desperate to get in. But I guess its more about the experience.
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I put a fake AP news article up about Ratner taking over, but I think I took it over the top at the end.We need more people to help us get this rumour up into the air.
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"“Oh, hey. You were in the Spirit...(starting to laugh)...no, no, it’s not anything you did...(laughing harder)...no, I was just thinking of something else...(bent over now with laughter, then slowly recovering themselves)...But seriously, you were awful.”"
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That part was too much, but I think up until that point you were okay.
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Dec 15, 2008 10:16:25 AM CST
Danny, why are you not helping us in the TDK thread?
by franklin t marmoset
We need you to weigh in, buddy.I don't think anyone is buying it.
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Isn't that always the way, though?
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Stay strong on your disbelief and hate of Ratner.
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I'm backing off a little for now, but I'll let the anger flow later. I find that this sort of thing works best if you lull people into thinking you've been humbled, then throw in a 'YOU'RE ALL FUCKING MADDDDDDDDDDDDDD' style post.
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hoping to goad someone that way.
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Bring me up to speed....its a fake argument? TDK TB? The top 10 one?
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Just saw Gran Torino. Fucking awesome. Eastwoods a legend.
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Not good at all.No one cares about the Batman thing, but there is some concern over how much sun and use of a treadmill Mr Z needs.
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We're trying to convince people Ratner's directing the next Batman, but it's not working so far.
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I hope they open up the registration soon, I'm gonna have to change my username after this is done.
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I almost spit up my coffee after reading Frankies' "attack" on Mr.Monkey.
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Yeah, I'm wondering about it. It's weird this now.
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You're 'insults' are classic. Hopefully I can match them.
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Get thee to the Dark Knight thread!
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and I'm engaged in a totally fruitless attempt at turd polishing. You should see this article I'm trying to pretty up. It's like written valium,
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I think that is doomed. Good try guys.
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now that I've read it. The Squid is fucking lame and Snyder is right to get rid of it.
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Because me and Pillow make convincing enemies.
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Because I am English.Stupid fucking U in colour.
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Damn net.
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The "U" pointing out bastard...
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Insult-trading is tiring.
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It's up to our American friends to keep things going.I will not be happy unless I wake up tomorrow morning, turn on my telly, and pregnant little Sian Williams is reporting the rumour that Brett Ratner is directing Batman 3 live on BBC1!You can do it!
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I don't think we have this down yet.
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Send in a tip to Chud.com
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Dec 15, 2008 11:13:23 AM CST
I just e-mailed you the customs tracking number Jarv
by hawaiian organ donor
I'm bored myself. Even for a Monday this is especially dire.
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seriously. I'm going to go and shout at customs. NOw I've finished turd polishing.
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I wonder where it is.
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very bizarre- Hmph.
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I go rub one out in the bathroom. But England probably has security cameras in the toilet bowls, don't they?
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Cocococolopez is back in The Spirit review thread. He's my favourite troll.
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But you can probably contact your postal service and have them track that number. It has got to be in England by now.A Brink's security guard was gunned down outside an Old Navy during a money transfer next door to my office. Times are desperate.
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not only would I instantly get fired, but my ass would be incarcerated for being a kiddie fiddler. I work in a school.
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So they do have security cameras in the bathroom? Otherwise you could just say you're feeling sick....which would explain your clamminess when you came back.
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"This "reviewer" only likes to hear himself talk- it takes forever for him to actually start tlking about the Spirit- and once there- instead of comparing it to Sin City which he sould have done (Miller's previous comic adaptation directorial effort and as the "reviewer" mentioned something that "looks like Sin City") he instead goes into boy-ain't-I-a-riot fantasy dialogue with the cast. This is the worst review I've seen on this site- and I see bad reviews here all the time. Also- unlike 98% of the brainwashed here- I'm not impressed when someone lists Dark Knight in their top ten as a sampling of their tastes. It was the most overrated movie of the year with an unbelievable charcater arc (Dent), a major character with no backstory or arc in general (Joker), an absurdly gruff talking Batman with no Batcave, a franchise frustrating switcheroo (Maggie for Katie), and for all its "darkness" a happy hey-everyone-is-good-after-all ending. Dark Knight was merely good- only for Ledger's performance- movie itself is a complete failure compared to Batman Begins and wasn't on the level of Iron Man." Wrong on almost every count. Huzzah, I love cocococo.
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I do not want putting in the Fraggle wing of pentonville nick. My ass would be in serious danger of a buggering. And that is not fun.
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Dec 15, 2008 11:49:04 AM CST
what I wanna know is....why is AICN desperate to save....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...THE SPIRIT?
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Call it "The Watchmen". About 5 of them have complained about that. How fucking sad.
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....or anyone who has seen MY NAME IS BRUCE with Bruce Q and A....
I think I asked before but I don't remember....can I bring a video camera in? Do I have to conceal it or are they cool with people filming his Q and A? -
Fuck knows why AICN wants to save The Spirit, and fuck knows what goes through Harry's brain in general at the moment. Seriously- Gone, Shitgirl, Twilight, his contact lenses etc. The list of weird shit that isn't cool is almost endless. Aside from Twitch, this place is pretty much a message board nowadays.
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the level of fucking attention Harry's giving fucking Twilight is ricockulous. It's for fucking mentally handicapped tween girls. There is nothing at all in it for anyone that isn't part of the seething self- lubricating hive vagina that represents the fan base of that shit.
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...sounds like shit once again. The reviewers rave "I bumped into Elijah Wood in the bathroom, and we geeked out together!!" Oh fuck off with that bullshit man. You paid like 500 bucks for this trip and had to sit through 24 hours of mediocre films that will be out in 2 weeks. You should be proud.
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see you tomorrow
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Fuck me up the arse with an epileptic hedgehog. Overpriced much?
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BNAT tickets were 90 each. I'm saying the entire trip for many-- plane, hotel, etc....would be over $500 bucks easy.
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But BNAT sounds like torture to me. I'd much rather spend a weekend with this crew watching movies we agreed on and drinking insane amounts of beer and arguing about Hook and The Dark Knight.
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I'm pretty sure I'd be miserable at BNAT. The films are 90% shit, its 24 hours long, and costs a fucking fortune at the end of the day. On Christmas morning I'd be thinking "Shit. I could have bought my family some really great presents instead of flying to Austin to see a Tom Cruise movie two weeks early. Fuck."
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The thing with the Cardinals is this, they are not ready yet, so they don't show up when it matters.For instances, the playeres were all over the media jawing about how glad they are to be in the post season. No talk of actually winning a post season game, they're just happy to be there. That's loser talk.Now, with that being said, if things break thier way they could win a couple of post season games. If they win the home game and play either a dome team or a warm weather team they might pull off two wins. Reality, probably not, but hey, hope springs eternal in the human breast.
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regarding Bruce. Yes, you can bring in a camera. However, he won't sign a single thing, or hang around later in the lobby waiting for one of the freaks to mark their territory on his leg.
Apparently, it says this on his website, which I didnt know when I camped out waiting for him to get AOD signed for HOD.
HOD, I'm glad you loved The Visitor. That's the movie Im making a personal mission to spread the word about. I think JPT saw it and loved it too. It's easily in the top five movies of the year(at least the ones I've seen).
Anyways, Im glad to see TDK seems to be a fluke, and for the most part our tastes are rather similar.
And to everyone who recommended Love Actually? Bravo! Saw it this weekend with the wife and loved it. Seriously, it's probably one of my all time fave romantic comedies. Did anyone catch all the great deleted scenes, like Emma Thompson's son writing his essay as "My christmas wish is that for one day you could actually see what people's farts would look like." -
a dome team, that's the problem. In reality, who can they beat that's playoff caliber? Eagles? Cowboys? Bucs? Falcons? Those are the teams they'll have to beat.
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Yes, The Visitor is most definitely without a doubt one of the best films I saw this year. Everyone works.It's funny you and Mrs. Echo saw Love Actually as Mrs. Pillow and I watched it last night. Great film. (Eat it Frankie!)
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that's why if we succeed in making a review site it should be called The Watchmen or something similar, and every reviewer should have some cocked up identity like one of the "team". And all of us could have costumes with one of those milk carton pics of a squid and a giant question mark underneath.
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I didn't say they would win, I just said they could win if things went there way. Without a running game it will be difficult. Look at it like this, it's the playoffs, anything can happen. There have been teams in that past that have won playoff games they had no business winning. Playoffs can be weird, its back to zero zero like a magical reset button had been hit. Do I think the Cardinals will suddenly turn into the last years Giants? no, but they could beat Tampa Bay because they are slumping or even the Falcons if the Cardinals play over their heads.I think Carolinia is starting to look like they might be the team to beat in the NFC. The Giants are showing major issues and everbody else is sort of mediocre. The interesting race is the AFC. Nobody seems to really want it too much. Jets? Tennessee? Pittsburgh? nobody seems like they want to take control.
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That should piss them off even more.
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...I fucking love that movie. Hugh Grant is a pimp and that chick with big thighs is fine. Everyone else is fucking adorable, including Alan Rickman "The classic fool." My favorite story was Collin Firth's with the Portugese chick. And Jonah, I don't want Bruce to sign shit. I just wanted to film it to show my kids.
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that's fine. I just figued I'd tell you. There was a line of people waiting for him. My buddy and I went over to the pub across the street, James Joyce, and waited to see if he would come out after the second showing. I wasn't interested in anything personal, just wanted to get something cool to give HOD, considering all he has done for us. As such, Im still trying to find a "cool" payback.
When is your showing Danny? -
I wanted to see a somewhat better resolution for he and Emma. I didnt get the impression he actually cheated, but I'm still surprised he went as far as buying the jewelry. Danny, have you seen the deleted scenes?
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I tell people that all the time.
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The stuff with him and Thompson is the best part of the film because it's left so ambiguous. You don't know whether they'll make it, but you know they'll try and make it work... which is in stark contrast to the 'love conquers all' rhetoric of the film. And Emma Thompson's break-down in the film... that's phenomenal acting.
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is a shameless, manipulative feelgoodery and I defy anyone to not find at least one story thread amusing and/or heartwarming.The two best were Nighy and his manager, and Linney and her mentally disturbed brother (even if Linney stole the part from Dawn from The Office). I also liked the Rickman/Thompson and the stand-in ones, and you have to laugh at Grant dancing around Number 10. And the "chubby" girl is gorgeous!Pure ridiculous fantasy, but a guilty pleasure nonetheless.
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Damn, she's fucking fine in Love, Actually.
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it wasn't the end of the story that I was referring to. It's that it felt like there was some extra emotional material(and perhaps even narrative) that would have been useful to the story between that evening at the play and the airport later. I wasn't even sure why he was getting off a plane a year later. The end shot was good, and it was nice to have one storyline that didnt end tied up happily.
Nighy was brilliant. Honestly though, I don't think guilty pleasure is correct, because it makes it sound like we should be ashamed of a movie that was unabashedly emotional and feel-good. It did what it did well, and it had what most of these films miss-sincerety. One of the nicest and sweetest, and emotionally true bits was that little sequence between the two people filming the porn. The culmination of their relationship was perfect. Honestly, what a terrific movie all around.
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Ah... I think with that one, you're meant to assume that Emma Thompson can't trust Rickman. He, at the least, emotionally cheated on her - and covering that up means she can't trust him, at all. So chances are they had a separation for a while... It is vague, but I think getting all the grim details would've been a little too brutal. Curtis wanted us to identify with her, and I'm sure yelling matches and fights would've backfired.
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you will see that Curtis isnt shy about following every plot thread further into itself...There are entire characters cut from the film. The one deleted scene we don't get is one regarding rickman and thompson, and I think you are right in his aim. But, at the same time, he could be just getting back from a business trip. Just a tiny bit hard to tell, and every other story was wrapped up in some kind of emotional bow, so something a little more, even if it still smacked of ambiguity would have helped them. Linney's story too, though that scene does exist on the dvd. It's a moment where the brother shows some clarity, and after asking Linney if she is fine, says "That's good. I'm in hell."
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Any of them. Maybe you're right, I'm just going by what I saw. I'm sure he could've written more and had it fall into place... but then, I tend to think Rowan Atkinson is playing some kind of Christmas Spirit trying to push people into doing the right thing.
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Dec 15, 2008 4:50:51 PM CST
I took Rickman's present for the office slut....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
......to pretty much mean it didn't matter whether or not he banged her or had physical contact. He was giving his heart to another woman, and thats all that matters. Thats enough to destroy a marriage. I really liked their ambiguous ending at the airport. Is he coming back from a business trip and its still awkward, or is he coming to pick up the kids and now lives far away, or what? And the deleted scenes are very cool. I like all that moving poster stuff with the Africans. Didn't Curtis say the first cut was over 3 hours? Fuck.
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Is the extended version out on dvd? I have a dvd of this, but not the with the extra stuff.
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Yeah you're right. Rowan was meant to be an angel. I don't remember if it is on the deleted scenes or if Curtis just talks about it, but originally he was meant to weave in and out of everyone's story and push it along. But it was just to much. I don't remember if they shot all that or not. He's still in the kid's story right.....he sorta stalls the guards.
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He's also in Rickman's story, coming up with increasingly silly things to add to the gift so that Rickman won't buy it.
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Sorry, I didn't see your post before I sent it. How ya doing?
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I didn't say "Thank you" for the mymavra welcome you left for me yesterday. Thank you!And Colin says "Thank you" too...
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You are most welcome, both of you. And thank you for listening to my little rant last night. You seem to get stuck with that a lot lately. Poor you!
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I don't remember a rant. Unless you mean the 'P' thing. Whew! That WAS a rant-a-thon ;)
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They're underrated.
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I resorted to removing the 'P' myself (which I didn't want to do at first because I usually make a mess of things like that. Today he's making a whole new banner (non-Purdue) which I think will look great.
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Dec 15, 2008 5:14:51 PM CST
I don't rant often. Wolf always seems to be around when I do
by mavra chang
He must be getting tired of it.
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I've heard little.
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... get tired of listening to you rant, Mav. Or anybody else, for that matter. Have I ranted about anything yet? Don't think I have...
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Haven't been on it yet today.
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Did anybody else watch this free movie or what?
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Mmmmmm hmmmmm.
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We'll have to fix that sometime. I completely forgot about the movie until last night. *smacks forehead*
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and collected. Heh. Only on the surface...
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How interesting! Do tell...
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I, too was let down by the "Director's Cut." Don't care if it WAS his true "vision," Kelly was right the first time. No need for a DC.From the moment INXS replaced Echo & The Bunnymen, he lost me...
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I keep my seething emotions on a tight leash nowadays.
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They should never be leashed. Where's the fun in that?
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At least for me to read, since I'm sober. You still haven't reached the Chipps zone yet. Close, but not quite.
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What can you tell me about 'Open Your Eyes' - Amenabar's original version of Vanilla Sky? Is it highly recommended?
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also has a commentary track that serves no purpose other than to allow Kevin Smith to gob off Richard Kelly for an hour and a half. Seriously, it's 90 minutes of Kelly's senseless rambling and Smith in the background slurping like it's the last cock in town.And the DC is fucking awful. But its genius compared to Southland Tales.Isn't Kelly doing some remake or some shit now? After ST, the guy would be lucky to have a job directing tampon commercials.
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Yeh, bang on, Vader. In fact the soundtrack took quite a big hit in the DC, Kelly shuffled a few songs around to the movie's detriment.Intervention plays a large role in Donnie Darko; fate intervened and Kelly gave us the superior theatrical cut. So, he kind of betrayed his own voice.I didn't explain that very well! :(
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It's a great soundtrack. Without a doubt.
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I thought he was doing a movie called 'The Box' based on a Richard Mathieson short story. I think starring Cameron Diaz (blech!). I've not heard much about that production for awhile.Plus he was threatening to do an extended(!) cut of Southland Tales.
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Dec 15, 2008 6:09:58 PM CST
Southland Tales - Extended Cut?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
For fucks sake! Making that shit longer will not help it. Its an irreparable fucking mess. Give it up and try to make a normal fucking film before your career ends up in a fucking "box" buried under eight feet of dirt! Cameron Diaz is not the way to resurrect a career.
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Yeh, but we might get another Kevin Smith co-commentary which will explain everything!
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Dec 15, 2008 6:16:59 PM CST
Thank christ Richard Kelly dropped "Knowing"
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
It looks pretty good and Proyas shits all over him. And I'm overdue a good Nic Cage movie.
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She's pretty good in Being John Malkovich.
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You're right. She is. I forgot that one.
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The second trailer kind of shocked me a bit because I wasn't expecting the film to be quite so "supernatural". When i read the synopsis a while ago and saw the whole kid foretells the future in a "time capsule" story I has in my head that it would actually be a bunch of a kids drawings illustrating events (in crayon! Ha!). Then the first trailer showed it was numbers and now the second one has these "whisper" guys.I don't know. I was thinking it would be more of a straight up thriller. But I'm still very interested.
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but she worked in that too. She can be obnoxious, but she's done some good work. I would love to see her in more indie stuff like Being John Malkovich though.
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Why? the DVD was like 19 hours long, or at least it seemed like it was nineteen hours long. I refused to turn it off. I would not let that untalented hack have the satisfaction of beating me.
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I am a tad bit worried. Jints are missing Plax more than most suspected. Hixon is dropping far too many balls. O line is looking more like Steelers O line - sorry Fred. Eli getting his manning face again. yes, I am concerned. Panthers are looking legit, I must say. The Panthers are peaking at just the right time, and Jints are looking lost. Minesota looks good, but too little too late. Panthers are now odds on favorite for NFC as far as i am concerned. props to ya HOD. Steelers are a legit threat to go all the way. Their O sucks, but as bad as Ben has been all year long, and i am sure it is because his shoulder is hurt and his O line sucks, he manages to drive them for last play in games. The Steelers D is simply the best in the league. That D keeps them in every single game they have played. They have played all of the elite teams in the league and none have really beaten them. The D kept them in the games, but the O line let them down. I suspect the Steelers can beat anyone as long as Ben does not turn it over and D keeps playing lights out. The Jets, are cooked. They will make playoffs, but unless Favre and Jets D sucks on some Ray Lewis juice, they are one and done in playoffs.
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Never heard of it.
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is that the one that looks both constipated and confused at the same time?
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I would've liked to go. Then again, its not that expensive for me to drive down there. But come on Che?? A 4 hour movie? That just seems like lazy programming. What's it going to be next year?
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next year? Berlin Alexanderplatz in its entirety? Followed by Night At the Museum 2? Seriously I bet they where allowed to show Che, because at least then Steven Schizoploiptz knew then at least some people would watch all of his movie.
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I never understand why they never put out an official list of what was shown. Because people who review it always seem to have varying memories of what they saw.
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You watch Code Monkeys? I like that show.
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Is actually set in the 80's. I didn't realize that until after a couple of episodes.
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Benicio Del Toro is a fine actor. Him and Johnny Depp were both fucking monster performers in Fear and Loathing. Their performances made that movie for me. They were just totally immersed in their characters. I can only hope he does it again in Che.
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I'd love to check out your short.
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Is how I describe how I feel about that movie. I don't understand why everyone loves that movie so hard? I need to watch it again. But I've tried twice and both times I've just fallen asleep and found the movie to just be an irritating mess. Kind of like Brothers Grimm. I know its a big hit among the druggies, kind of like how Donnie Darko is a big hit with people who think they know a lot about film, but really don't know shit. My drug film of choice is Requiem for a Dream. I know both of those are books to movies, and were probably both considered unfilmable, but at least Fear had its main source to reference. I haven't read Fear and Loathing, but I've read Requiem and it was a tough read. It was just blocks of people talking with no real breaks or acknowledge of who was talking.
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....but I think Soderbergh pretty much sucks ass, and I've read all I need to read about Che. I'd be more excited to see Carnahan's Killing Pablo. Dunno why I connect the two, just because they are South American true stories I suppose.
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....I don't really give them much credit for that. I dont know if its necessarily difficult to play a guy coked out of his mind while you are in fact coked out of your mind. Thats like Michael Douglas claiming he had to really prepare for his sex scenes.
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I don't know if that's really fair to not respect an actor's performance due to your assumption that they have may have been taking drugs during the movie.
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Anyone seen that or King of the Hill
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Anyone seen that or King of the Hill?
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Thats true. I don't know that about Fear and Loathing. But I do know that Depp did coke on the set of the first Pirates film like he was having a smoke. I have a close friend that explained he is completely open about it and walks off similar to the way people walk off to take a smoke, except he points to his nose. No joke. And this was on stage on the Universal lot. Not when they were in the Bahamas.
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are you implying that I'm a druggie and that's why I like the movie? Probably not, but allow me to defend Fear and Loathing anyway.The movie is like the book, an utterly pointless romp through Las Vegas, which also serves as an insight into veterans of a bygone era coping with said era's passing. I think it can be interpreted as an anti-drug film as well. The insanity and crazy shit the duo get into is really disturbing at times. Like Del Toro wanting to kill himself in the tub, etc. I didn't enjoy the movie because I took drugs. I enjoyed it because of the great adaptation and interpretation of the book, the surreal direction and artictic design courtesy of Terry Giliam, and the excellent performances from the two leads. I agree that the movie is getting attention for stupid reasons though. Druggies who don't understand the film and think they are sympaathizing with the characters and look up to them as idols just don't get it I think. the movie is great cinema though.I think Depp and Del Toro could not have performed so well if they were on drugs. That kind of precision, with the little twitches, and Depp's spot on impersonation of Thompson were too well timed and precise to be drug-induced if you ask me.
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and a little sad. I hate it when talented actors and performers fuck themselves up like that. It's worse when they think it enhances the art or some bull shit.
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Dec 15, 2008 10:47:37 PM CST
and I agree Kung, both Benicio and Depp are fine actors.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Ed Wood is one of my all time favorite character performances.
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Naw I wasn't implying you were a druggie. Just how like every pot head you know always loves Fear and Loathing, its just so typical. Like if you smoke weed and do drugs you have to love Fear and Loathing.
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So I finally watched Red Cliff while I was spending the night at Salt Lake City airport on Saturday because of layover, and I just wanted to let you know what I thought.I actually had low expectations for this movie. the trailers just weren't showing anything that interesting and for the highest budgeted movie in Chinese history, I couldn't see from them where all the money was going. I have never been so happy to be proven wrong. This movie was AMAZING! The best thing you have sent me so far. I loved the way all of the Shu generals were treated as these utter baddasses so fucking terribly badass that they could change the tide of a battle entirely by themselves. Every scene with Zhang Fei, Gan Ning, and especially Guan Yu and Zhao Yun were just way too fucking cool for mortal eyes. I think I told you before about my tremendous respect for the Shu General (and now Chinese deity), the great bearded Guan Yu. His introduction, and the scenes that followed were incredible. The Romance of the Three Kingdoms, like Paradise Lost or Don Quixote, seemed impossible to me to be translated to film while preserving the awe, wonder, and spirit of the books. Seeing Guan Yu on the screen tearing up the battlefield with his guandao swinging all over the place was not just a highlight of the film, but a highlight of my relationship with cinema. You will be hard-pressed to find a bigger fan of the source material than me, so seeing these events and characters onscreen was an amazing experience. Thank you so much!It just had so many memorable and fun scenes. Like I already said, every scene showcasing the fighting prowess of the many generals was really cool. But there were so many little weird, entertaining, surreal and absurd scenes to go with them, that I was never bored. The scene with the general wittling the boy's flute so it was in tune was great. The jam session between the two strategists while they were tripping off of opium or whatever was hilarious in its absurdity, and accompanying stone-faced portrayal. It was a great scene. For pete's sake, there was a fucking horse birth in this movie! and even better, they managed to turn it into a philosophical message! How cool is that?So the casting was great, the action scenes are some of the most visceral I have seen since Drunken Master 2, the many philosophical scenes, no matter how absurd, were incredibly entertaining, every facet of this movie just worked for me on sucha high level. I only have two complaints. First, I loved Tony Leung's character, but when they tried to present him as yet another badass fighter on the battlefield, I just wasn't buying it. With his big goofy ears, and his small stature, he works great as the philosophical strategist, but as a warrior on the field of battle, he was not very convincing. This was a minor gripe though, since it was still fun to see the same guy from Hard Boiled and In the Mood For Love hacking away at people. My only other complaint? I wanna see the other half of the movie RIGHT FUCKING NOW! Why the hell would they cut that in half? It's torture!Also, I watched Kung Fu Panda last night, and I really liked it. Jack Black worked great as the protagonist. The action was great too. I thought his transition from bumbling silly-panda to martial arts master was a little too fast, but it worked well with the story. Also, I thought all the big name actors (Angelina Jolie, Jackie Chan, etc.) was a little pointless since their performances really brought nothing to the roles, but I probably wouldn't have noticed they were in it if I didn't know that beforehand, so I don't know how valid of a complaint that is. Here's hoping they make a sequel with even more cool fight scenes and funny little Jack Black-as-panda moments.
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Damnit I had it on my old DVR before I moved and had to give back my DVR. Seriously giving up my DVR for when I move is like giving up a portion of a DVD collection. Right now I got Dish Network so now I can keep my DVR when I move.
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and I think that's fucking stupid. I'm in college now, so i hear that shit all the time. Everybody just says it because they think it's what they should, and it's boring. I just roll my eyes and recommend Brazil.
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I was just reading about how Delgo is the biggest bomb ever. And I saw a list of worst wide release openings ever and it turns out All Dogs Go to Heaven 2 was released in theaters. Really? First off they made a sequel? Secondly, it made it to theaters? Too bad Land Before Times 2-8 (I think there may be more) weren't so lucky. Anyone seen any of the later Land Before Times? I saw either 4 or 8 while babysitting a while back and it was fucking atrocious.
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This just in, turns out there are thirteen Land Before Times!!! Damn.
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About Brave Little Toaster. I knew there was one called Brave Little Toaster goes to Mars. Fortunately that was number 3 and the final one. I loved that first movie.
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There was ten years between Brave Little Toaster and Brave Little Toaster 2.
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Yeah man, being in college you'll find out that pretty much everyone has like the same 10-20 DVDS in their collection. Thats why I'll never buy something like TDK, or any Will Farrell movie because someone will always have a copy if I want to borrow it.
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Has Charlie Sheen taking over for Burt Reynolds. And came out seven years after the first. Though it did have Dom Deluise. I still can't believe that their are 13 (if not more) Land Before Times. Not including the updated remake Dinosaur.
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Like everybody "just loves" Snatch, Donnie Darko, Fear and Loathing, 300, a shitload of Will Ferrel movies, and just about every other supposed "cult" movie they are told to love.
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Burt Reynolds is in Delgo though. I wonder how they had enough money for him, but All Dogs Go To Heaven 2 didn't? You know I just watched the Trailer for Delgo and it doesn't look like complete crap, though it does remind me a little of Dungeon and Dragons.
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Let me see if I can mention a movie that D. Vader decided to not watch on TV today? Anyone know the release date for the DVD of Mindwarp yet?
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Cool man. I really like a video hosting site called Vimeo. There is a lot of great work on there. And you could make it private, only open for added contacts to view. The size limit is 500 MB.
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Fuck yeah. I adore that film. Everything about it kicks ass. So fucking sad he just left all his favorite appliances in that cabin all by their lonesome. Blankie....that little fucker is so cute.
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Also Phil Hartmen and Jon Lovitz voice casting. Also Fu, my comic book store package together some old series to sell off, and they got some Mr. T. comic looks pretty fucking sweet.
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Dec 16, 2008 12:14:34 AM CST
that shit was sad when Kirby was mean to Blanky....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....when Blanky was just trying to snuggle. But you could see Kirby felt bad. He had a good heart, that grouchy fuck.
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the other day. It was shockingly good. I usually hate those sentimental sports movie Remember The Titans bullshit. But this was awesome and surprisingly hardcore. All the kids that played the gangsters were great actors and The Rock was badass. Very touching film. And that means a lot from me because I can give two fucks about football or sports.
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I saw the guy who Denzel plays give a speech. And I felt bad because the guy was old and just kind of crazy and rambling, just kept mentioning how he knew Denzel and how they talk on the phone.
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Any Given Sunday. When they did that shaky camera thing when the players went down was pretty awesome.
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Saw that you mentioned earlier about that kid who acted like he was George Lucasas son. He was going to my buddies high school when he did that.
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The Gameplan and not more action movies I'll never know. I personally think he's better than either Arnold or Sly. Well at least in the acting department. I got so excited during that part in The Rundown where Arnold does a cameo and tells him good luck, like he's passing the torch to him or something. And The Rock has done like 2 action movies since then. What the fuck??
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I saw that episode of Ultimate Trailer show with Aliens the other day. That trailer was pretty awesome. They don't make good trailers any more.
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I know what you mean about that scene in the Rock. Its not like he even kids does he? I for one liked Walking Tall. I saw it in theaters, then bought it on DVD and found out that its really only about and hour 10 min long and the credits are like 15 minutes.
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Lame. Hopefully its not a new track FOR the movie.
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I love how it's kind of creepy and scary the whole time. A definitive child's movie for me as a kid.
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Time for some P Break with a guest starrring role of an old Star Trek TNG fav. Man I hope they don't kill off this show, or if they do they wrap it up. Damn Lincoln Burrows finally the first smart thing he's done in the entire shows run. He just fucking pulled out some of T-Bags teeth. Awesome.
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Rock A Doodle is the definitive kids movie for me growing up. Hahahaha naw not really. Maybe American Tale. Though Toaster and Littlefoot and All Dogs are Up there. You know how they made a Rugrats movie, Hey Arnold Movie, Doug movie and a Wild Thornberries movie. Imagine if they made a Ren and Stimpy movie?
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eeck... I could barely stand the fucking shorts, I'll pass on a movie. Who even has the rights to it now anyway? Nckelodeon who ruined it, or is it back to its creator John Kricfalusi?
It cant top the Beavis & Butthead Do America movie anyway.
"I have a question.... is this a god dam?"
Huh-huh.. -
I've never seen that one. Looking up pics and it looks kinda messed up weird... Is that what inspired Disney with all the living objects in Beauty And The Beast?
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Donnie Darko was a "big hit" with me. While I don't claim to be anybody who thinks they know about film I wouldn't go so far as to say that I "really don't know shit."Also, nobody told me it was a "cult" movie or "told" me to love it. I found the DVD in a bargain bin, thought 'Hmmm, the cover looks intriguing' and bought it with a bunch of other cheapies.Watched it. Mind got blown. Described it then and still do, as a work of genius. If that makes me some kind of Grand Idiot Of Cinema then I accept the award with great pride. I thank yow! ;)
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Love Actually sucks satan's ballsack. It's so shit it makes me angry. Fucking horrible series of totally unrelated lame sitcom pilots that are so collectively nausea inducing I had to take some fucking sea sickness pills. Fucking hate it,
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Did you mean the package HOD sent you shows "Accepted"? Cos that could mean only that Customs has allowed it into the country and it's just a case of waiting for Royal Fail to deliver the bugger.Starts to get worrying when you get a "delivered on..." message and check the electronic proof of delivery to discover a totally fake signature. Not funny.
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Did someone steal your Christmas spirit again?
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is one of 3 unadaptable books that they adapted- The other 2 being Requiem for a dream and Naked Lunch. The problem with Fear and Loathing is that the film boils down to 2 guys getting fucked up in a room, and that isn't actually that entertaining. Naked Lunch is about as good an attempt as you can make of adapting that novel, but still lacking. The only 100% good film of the 3 is Requeim. And the book is fucking unreadable, like everything else selby wrote. Try last exit to Brooklyn. The final section, the coda, is pretty much like all of Requiem. Fucking confusing and unreadable.
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Left me cold. That was another bargain bin 'cover looks interesting, I'll buy it' moment.I'll have another go at that one because most people give the movie classic status and, obviously, I know shit about film... ;)
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I'm really feeling very unfestive.
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It's a wonderful movie. that shot of the 2 old ladies crying on the bench at the end makes me well up every time. Ellen Burstyn should have won every acting award going for it.
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his fucking nauseating world. He's a fucking smug twat that needs a Kerbing.
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That really is an unfilmable book, and Cronenberg proved that by barely even bothering to film the actual story (or collection of bizarre snippets).I reckon if you did do an actual tranlation of the book, it would be the most expensive film of all time and also banned in every country in the world except possibly France (they're very liberal in France).I would watch it, though.
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I think it was the fact that the descent of those characters was so unremittingly bleak. I wasn't ready for that much bleak and hoplessness. The director doesn't let the viewer off the hook for a second.But I'm genuinely gonna have another look.
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I've put that one on a small list (next to Mysterious Skin) of very, very good films that I do not ever want to watch again.Great stuff, but - fuck me - just horribly depressing.
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Is enough to put anyone off drugs. Or should be.
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I'd seen a film where Jennifer Connelly would get her kit off - and it wouldn't be sexy. Actually made me feel sick.
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"Fear and Loathing" is a fucking great book. I read it on a bus travelling through germany and had to stifle my laughter. It's a hilarious stream of conscious that the film replicates as well as anyone could.The only other book of his I've read is Rum Punch. Which is only good.Of Selby's, I've read Requiem and Last Exit. Requiem is by far the superior book, but Last Exit is good. Not sure what you mean about the mess, Jarv. Also, I haven't seen the Last Exit film, which has been in my "too hard basket" for a long time now.
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Dec 16, 2008 3:58:25 AM CST
Not Rum Punch... Rum Diaries...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Need... Coffee...
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Dec 16, 2008 4:03:24 AM CST
The millionairre actors are calling for common sense!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Bless their hearts.http://tinyurl.com/63wbqh
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That's the only one of Thompson's books I've been able to get all the way through (maybe because it's so short). William Burroughs is about the only drug-addled rambler whose books I can stomach, and even then he's tough going at times. Everything else I've tried of Thompson is always the same - ramble, ramble, me, me, drugs, drugs, ramble, ramble, blah, blah - and it's like he's challenging me to throw the damn things out the window. So I usually do.I liked the film, too. Johnny Depp was very funny in that one.
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deliberately difficult is possibly a better way to describe it. I am feeling very uncharitable this morning so overstated myself. I admire Requiem as a work of literature, but can't honestly say I like it. Same with Last Exit. Naked Lunch- actually, lots of the book made it on to the screen- but due to the fragmented nature of Burrough's novella, it appears as monologues that Lee gives- not as plot stuff per se. The plot stuff that made it comes from things like Julian Sands as a mugwump buggering the Latin guy in death and the fact that Lee is an Exterminator. It's unfilmable and I give Cronenburg props for attempting it.
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Dec 16, 2008 4:22:42 AM CST
I had a long weekend and saw A LOT OF MOVIES
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
The Dark Knight... Much DiscussedWall-E... Brilliant. The only issue I have is the use of real video. Frost/Nixon... Good, but felt like a very well produced and acted TV movie.Changeling... Depressing, brutal, frustrating. Brilliant.Gran Torino... Clint Eastwood is a fucking legend.One False Move... I was expecting more. Good, but not great.In Bruges... Fucking genius. Farrell is seriously great and Gleesons "cunt" rant is goddamn hilarious.
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Fuck me rigid. The only good thing about that is Norrington is directing it. Wincott for the WIN motherfuckers. "I want to light a fire so fucking big that the gods will notice us again".
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I hadn't seen it since it first came out, and I still liked it. It's pretty quiet as far as thrillers go, but I liked the way it used the tension between big city types and Bill Paxton's small town character.I agree, though, it's a good one rather than a great one.I think I'm going to check out Wall-E this weekend. I do like a bit of Pixar, and I've heard nothing but good things about it.
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Rob Zombie, apparently not satisfied that he adequately killed Halloween with his fucking awful remake, is going back to make sure; and a remake of The Crow. What the fuck is the point of a remake of The Crow?P.S. Has Norrington ever done anything else like ranks alongside Blade? The only other film of his I've seen is that LXG nonsense, and that was nonsense.
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I remember years and years ago, before Blade came out, I watched some STV Alien type rip-off that was directed by Norrington. It had Brad Dourif in it and the monster was a robot if i remember correctly. Anyway, from memory, i was impressed at how effective it was since it was a shitty STV. So after that and Blade, I thought he was going to be a great director.Then League came out.
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and my favourite of the 3 that I give Norrington a pass for the abysmal LXG. Norrington has passed on the crow, has he? I wish nothing but violent death on that fucking hack Zombie for both his shitty films and shitty music. If I see one more person try to pretend that The Devil's Rejects is more than a festering bag of violence glamorising wank then there will be blood.
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There was a point when I thought it was an okay film, but it turned out I had been tricked into thinking it was not wank. See, I had has myself a Rob Zombie double bill - House Of Excactly One Thousand Corpses and The Devil's Rejects - and after making it all the way though the amateurish dreck that was Corpses (1000, no more, no less), Rejects seemed like a pretty good film.But then I watched Rejects again (it was on ITV4, I think) and I realised it was, in fact, wank.
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Having waded through the fucking woefully amateurish dreck of House of 1000 Crapses, Rejects actually seemed like a proper film. Then I watched it on ITV4 and had to come to the conclusion that it is actually what happens when a ritalin addicted 14 year old who saw Texas Chainsaw Massacre a week ago and totally misunderstood it is given the directors job,
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I looked him up and it seems like he's had a rough time since that League Of Whatnot film. Got the boot from Ghost Rider, got the boot from Clash Of The Titans, and now it looks like he's gone back to being a special effects guy.What a shame. The guy who did Blade deserves better than that, I reckon.
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I've compiled three 2008 Top 5 lists.There are a lot of films I haven't seen such as Synecdoche and Benjamin Button, and a lot of shit as well, so its subjective.In no particular orderBest FilmWall-eIn BrugesChangelingGran TorinoW. Worst FilmEagle EyeRighteous Kill88 MinutesWhat Happens in VegasThe Love Guru Best PerformanceColin Farrell (In Bruges)Heath Ledger (The Dark Knight)Clint Eastwood (Gran Torino)Josh Brolin (W.)Frank Langella (Frost/Nixon)
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I need a smoke
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That's my Christmas haircut out of the way. Now I can safely approach the festive season comfortable in the knowledge that my hair looks exactly the same length it did when I left the house.
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The one with Brad Dourif was called Death Machine and the characters were named after movie directors. Cheap and cheerful.Blade - Outstanding. Blinding intro to a movie.LXG - I thought it was okay, nothing special.
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Fuck Christmas. Fuck it in the ass.
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and am engaging in more pointless turd polishing. I feel this is a waste of my design skills.
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Change the Dude's name to Carl and have him be more of a white trash character who says cocksucker a lot (played by William Forsyth). He could live in a trailer or somesuch, and instead of bowling he likes to shoot squirrels.His best buddy - instead of an angry Vietnam vet - would be a foul-mouthed woman of some sort, possibly a prostitute named Candy or Honey or Lucky, with lank blonde hair (to be played by Sheri Moon Zombie) and who also says cocksucker a lot.The other Lebowski (the BIG Lebowski) will be a pimp. This seems like a great part for some sort of cool cameo like Ken Foree or Tom Savini or that guy who played Leatherface. The pimp says cocksucker a lot.This seems like a natural for Zombie, as far as I'm concerned. You could still do that playful thing the original did of putting an unlikely character into a noir-ish mystery story, plus keep the same lever of swearing, but with 'cocksucker' instead of 'fuck'.Please do not hesitate to contribute if you have any further suggestions for Rob Zombie's The Big Lebowski.
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What is that?Do not press too hard on my lever of swearing! Too much swearing might come out!Fucker!
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That is a hangover cure that never fails.
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There's no way that Mr. Zombie would miss the open goal of a paedo bowler. Not like those fucking coen hacks. So he'd clearly have to add a scene where the paedo bowler anally violates a 9 year old before using his head as a ball and winging it at a collection of squirrels nailed to planks to represent pins.
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New year's resolution- To get my useless ass a job I don't hate on every level.
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That'd be brilliant. If it was adjustable you could set it for whatever social situation you were attending and never have to worry about what was coming out of your mouth ever again.
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yes but remember that with fucking great fucking powers comes a fucking great fucking level of cunting responsibility
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And who needs that kind of responsibility anyhow?
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Fucking dirty bastards!
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You can't fucking win, Darth, you tin-hatted fucknut. Even if you fucking strike me the fuck down I shall become more fucking powerful than you can ever cunting imagine. Twat.
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Milf is challenging you for cool picture status on the other site. His is very awesome, but lacks Colin. Beware...up-and-coming photoslingers lurk in the midst.
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Dec 16, 2008 6:53:43 AM CST
I also see that you have let those emotions off the leash for a
by mavra chang
Nifty. Glad I was still awake for that.
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I went too far. What else is new?
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The one thing missing from Toy Story is the word 'cunt'.Strange that they left it out, really. Pixar are normally so thorough.
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What we've cunting got here is fucking failure to bastarding communicate. Some cunts you just can't fucking reach, so you fucking get what we've fucking got here, which is the way the dirty donkey cock wants it. Well, he sure as fuck gets it.
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So many applications, and my favourite typo since Clodplay.
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I'll go and check out the Milf immediately! Can't have this...
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Dec 16, 2008 6:58:12 AM CST
The Gleeson Cunt rant from In Bruges... Genius!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Ken: Harry, let's face it. And I'm not being funny. I mean no disrespect, but you're a cunt. You're a cunt now, and you've always been a cunt. And the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids.Harry: [furious] Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done? You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids!Ken: I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids.Harry: Insult my fucking kids? That's going overboard, mate!Ken: I retracted it, didn't I?
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Frankly, my dear I don't give a red fuck. If you don't get your fucking ass on that fucking plane, you whore, then you'll fucking regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but you fucking will and for the rest of your fucking life. Cunt.
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Dec 16, 2008 7:00:43 AM CST
"We have to send you back... to the fucking future, you cunt!"
by franklin t marmoset
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Wow. Milf's got a sizeble 'fod' going on there, hasn't he!
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That's Cool Hand Luke, Gone With THe Wind and Casablanca swearified.
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The pictures there have been getting much more interesting over the past few days. Soon, the members gallery will be the showcase of the site.
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That's as high as my lever goes when I'm in neutral. Later!
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You're all the same fucking bunch of cunt filled shit stains. Always overdressing for the wrong fucking occasions you stupid drippy whores.
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throw you your pussified whip you fedora wearing asspickle.
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Night fucking night.
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You cum stain on a bed sheet, there is nothing you fucking possess which I, one crazy muthafucker, cannot fucking take away from a Allan Quartermain wanna be, bitch!
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disturbing asshole.
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I've seen things you cunts wouldn't believe. Motherfucking Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched Cunt-beams glitter in the fucking dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be fucking lost in fucking time... like tears in rain... Time to die. And no, I don't have a fucking clue what I'm rattling on about either.
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you helmeted dickhead.
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space station. We're fucked up the goat ass.
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bleed you trembling cocksucker?
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Does anyone know if it's possible to register a new ID here at AICN any more?
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I can't breathe!
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Dec 16, 2008 7:20:49 AM CST
The original LoS "Any Given Sunday" speech
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I don’t fucking know what to say, you cunts. Three fucking minutes to the biggest motherfucking battle of our professional motherfucking lives. All comes down to to-fucking-day, and either, we heal as a fucking team, or we're gonna fucking crumble. Inch by motherfucking inch, play by motherfucking play. Until we're fucking finished. We're in fucking hell right fucking now, gentlecunts. Fucking believe me.And, we can stay fucking here, get the shit fucking kicked out of us, or we can fucking fight our fucking way back into the fucking light. We can fucking climb outta fucking hell... one fucking inch at a fucking time.Now I fucking can't do it for ya, I'm too fucking old. I look around, I see these young cunt faces and I fucking think, I fucking mean, I've made every wrong motherfucking choice a middle-fucking-aged motherfucker can make. I, uh, I've fucking pissed away all my motherfucking money, believe it or fucking not. I fucking chased off any cunt who's ever fucking loved me. And lately, I can't even fucking stand the cunt of a face I see in the fucking mirror.You fucking know, when you get fucking old, in fucking life, shit gets fucking taken from you. I fucking mean, that's... that's... that's a part of motherfucking life. But, you only fucking learn that when you start fucking losin' shit. You fucking find out life's this cunting game of fucking inches, so is fucking football.Because in either fucking game – fucking life or fucking football - the fucking margin for error is so fucking small. I mean, one half a fucking step too fucking late or too fucking early and you don't quite fucking make it. One half fucking second too fucking slow, too fucking fast and you don't quite fucking catch it. The fucking inches we need are every- fucking-where around us. They're in every fucking break of the game, every fucking minute, every fucking second.On this fucking team we fight for that fucking inch. On this fucking team we fucking tear ourselves and everyone fucking else around us to pieces for that fucking inch. We fucking claw with our fucking fingernails for that fucking inch. Because we fucking know when fucking add up all those fucking inches, that's fucking gonna make the fucking difference between fucking winning and fucking losing! Between fucking living and fucking dying!I'll fucking tell you this, in any fucking fight it's the fucking guy whose willing to fucking die whose gonna win that fucking inch. And I fucking know, if I'm gonna have any fucking life anymore it's because I'm still fucking willing to fucking fight and fucking die for that fucking inch, because that's what fucking living is, the six fucking inches in front of your fucking face.Now I can't make you fucking do it. You've got to fucking look at the cunt next to you, look into his fucking eyes. Now I fucking think ya going to see a cunt who will fucking go that fucking inch with you. Your fucking gonna see a cunt who will fucking sacrifice himself for this fucking team, because he fucking knows when it comes down to it your fucking gonna do the same for him.That's a fucking team, gentlecunts, and either, we fucking heal, now, as a fucking team, or we will fucking die as fucking individuals. That's fucking football cunts, that's all it fucking is.Now, what are you cunts gonna fucking do?
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"No, Mr. Bond you prick, I expect you to fucking die"
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FREEEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOM!(Braveheart)
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one cunt ring to find them, one fucking ring to bring the cunts and in the darkness fuck them up, In the shithole mordor where the asspickles lie.
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no fucking matter how fucking far, I will fucking find you my fucking English wench.
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Dec 16, 2008 7:26:46 AM CST
Show me the motherfucking money, you cunt!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I see dead cunts!
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I'm fucking scared, George, you old impotent cunt, I am.
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AAAADRIAAN YOU FUCKING CUNT.
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fucking bombed Pearl fucking Harbor? Hell fucking no!Fucking German wankers?Fuck off and forget it, he's fucking rolling like a crazy bitch on crack.
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Dec 16, 2008 7:30:37 AM CST
I don't know anything. I swear to god!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
FFUUCCKKIINNGG SSWWEEAARR TTOO MMEE, YYOOUU FFUUCCKIINGG CCUUNNTT OORR II'LL FFUUCCKK YYOOUURR AASSSS AANNDD MMAAKKEE YYOOOUU SSQQUUEELL LLIIKKEE AA FFFUUCCKKINNGG PPIGGG!!!!
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knows no fucking bounds you big poopie heads.
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you weak minded come bucket. That's right, you're a bucket that people wank into.
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your fucking souls. And I, the badass muthafucker, fucking want them both right fucking now or I'll hold my breath and stamp my feet until I get my muthafucking way you dirty little whore bags.
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Obi shithead wan was fucking wise to hid the whore from me. Now is fucking failure is fucking complete. If the whiny bitch that is fucking you won't fucking join me in the crazy muthafucking darkside, then fucking perhaps the coked up wench will!Noooo you fucking piece of shit dad!
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no, and I don't fucking care because I don't eat that shitty fucking garbage that masquerades as food in that festoring cunt enclosure called mcfuckingdonalds. You gonad.
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Hail to the motherfucking King, slag.
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You stupid cunt. Do you think we'd be fucking dumb enough to swan into Mos Fucking Eisley with contraband fucking robots? No, of course we fucking aren't. Now fuck off.
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I've got a fucking feeling we're not in that shithole of a state Kansas any fucking more. Fuck me!
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Make my muthafucking day you fucking soon to be fucking corpse.
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fucking Obi Wan's fucking fault. That fucking twatknacker is holding me back! SWALLOW MY PIPE SAUCE OBI WAN-KER!
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the fucking mooches. Can't they fucking get their own fucking field for fucking dead fucking ball players. Can't believe I have to fucking do this shit, I'm a fucking farmer for Christ's sake. Stupid bullshit voices talking to me outta the fucking cornfield? What the fuck. I need a fucking drink.
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or I'll fucking cockdrop you.
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want it? do you want it on your fucking feet like a man or on your fucking knees like a whore preparing to suck some cock. Me, I ain't much for cocksucking.
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Dec 16, 2008 7:57:21 AM CST
Fuck! There's no fucking crying in fucking baseball!
by just pillow talk
What the fuck is wrong with you teary eyed bitches? Give me a fucking break! This is muthafucking baseball. Strap it the fuck on, get your asses out there, and fucking play ball! Except you Madonna. Put those fucking pads on your knees and get to fucking work.
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I already fucking knew that, thank fucking you for fucking letting me know right fucking before I'm gonna have my fucking ass carbonized. Fucking broads, always waiting until the fucking last minute.
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fucking try. I can't fucking believe your the last fucking jedi, well, there's a fucking other, but she's fucking always coked out. The galaxy is fucked unless you get your shit together.
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grunts, squeaks and squawks with the fucking animals, and then goes home to knock one out on the animals"
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Dec 16, 2008 8:09:19 AM CST
The greatest (actual) LoS scene
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Car Rental Agent: Welcome to Marathon, may I help you?Neal: Yes.Car Rental Agent: How may I help you?Neal: You can start by wiping that fucking dumb-ass smile off your rosey, fucking, cheeks! Then you can give me a fucking automobile: a fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick! Four fucking wheels and a seat!
Car Rental Agent: I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.Neal: And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile in my fucking face. I want a fucking car RIGHT FUCKING NOW!Car Rental Agent: May I see your rental agreement?Neal: I threw it away.Car Rental Agent: Oh boy.Neal: Oh boy, what?Car Rental Agent: You're fucked! -
The people I am talking about that like Donnie Darko to no end have never heard of this site. They are those pretencious douche bags that latch on to all things that they have been told are 'ARTY' and act like it defies them. Stewy Griffin made fun of them the best I don't remember the exact quote but its something like, 'Ohhh I want to set up a myspace account so I can list accomplishments by other people that I think define me' or something like that. You know the guy, everyone thinks knows a lot about movies and shit but you ask him one thing about an unheard of foreign film they've never heard about it because some magazine hasn't told them yet to go see it. Jarv what did you think about the Last Exit to Brooklyn movie? Ok off to work.
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Dec 16, 2008 8:16:46 AM CST
Clearly, the Lever Of Swearing is far too dangerous
by franklin t marmoset
I will lobby the government to write some sort of law to control the use of the Lever Of Swearing. Some sort of maximum level needs to be agreed, for the safety of children and good Christian family values and whatnot.Who knows what will happen if unmonitored swearing levels continue?
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No particular reason, I just never got round to it.
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Lever of Swearing. Fuck 'em!
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Honestly, I wasn't being deadly serious!
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Dec 16, 2008 8:27:44 AM CST
But we need the government to control all of our lives!
by franklin t marmoset
Without the government, who will tell us how much to drink, what to eat, where we can smoke, what kind of sex will not send us to Hell, and what we can do to help them fuck up other people's countries?The government is like the parents we never wanted, and we must demand they intervene and take a tight reign over how much swearing is allowed on the internets!Won't somebody please think of the children and whatnots!
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Equality for whatnots!
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your county can do for your whatnots but what not your whatnots can do for you.
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Show that unrestricted use of the Lever Of Swearing leads to higher crime rates, increases in teen pregnancy, the breakdown of the traditional family unit, and is a gateway to heroin addiction.You can't argue with science, people!
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Or country. But 'county' works in England.
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While another guy is at a urinal, heads into a stall, drops trou and then begins playing Beethoven's Fifth? I mean seriously, if you're going to eat something that foul that results in turning the bathroom into Dante's Hell, then have the damned decency to wait until all occupants have vacated the premises. Even public bathrooms need etiquette. We're a civil society for christ sakes.
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Dec 16, 2008 8:36:54 AM CST
A government of the whatnots...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
by the whatnots, for the whatnots.
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Our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men must not be allowed to swear too much on the internets..."You also can't argue with Lincoln, people! Lincoln!
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Dec 16, 2008 8:40:01 AM CST
All whatnots are created equal.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
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That makes Hiroshima look like Mentos and Diet Coke, the cunt has the audacity to think that a courtesy flush is going to help matters.You can put a douchebag in a suit and tie but at the end of the day he's still a cunty jizzrag.
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"No, dipshit, I am your father""Lying cunt"
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think I am relinquishing control of the LoS. Not while I'm having so much fun.
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actuall, that's not far off the real line
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No fucking thanks bitch! I don't fucking like shitty eggs!What the fuck did you see you fucking retard? Eggs are your fucking favorite dickwad!Okay, then give me fucking lots of eggs you fucking psycho babbling whore! Fuck, I'm glad I don't remember your ugly cunt of a face!
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"What the fuck are you going on about you senile old cunt?"
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That's what your fucking good at" "Cheers, fartknocker"
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You fucked my daddy in the ass, prepare to die. Cunt."
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I know nobody actually ever said that, but what the hell. "Elementary, Watson you fat useless cunt. Now suck my cock"
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Except I can't be fucking bothered. So fuck off." or:"Why so Fucking serious?"
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**Buzz snorts a line of coke**...And beyond, you cunts!"
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so I can wank myself senseless over pictures of Megan Fox's snatch found at wwww.dirtylittlebastard.com
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Dec 16, 2008 9:19:26 AM CST
"Just keep fucking swimming...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
you cunt-assed clown fish!"
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the fucking future?One pissing possible future, how the fuck should I know and if you bite my knobgargling hand again I'll crack you upside your motherfucking head, you 80's bimbo-haired, cunt-faced twat pipe.
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You greasy cunt.
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and I'll trash your fucking police station, kill that slag, assrape Kyle Reece and doom Humanity. Then I may take a shit.
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yuck.
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Dec 16, 2008 9:40:27 AM CST
Watched TDK last night. Its even better at home.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
The ferry complaint is absurd. The Joker said on the video, people leaving by tunnel will get a big surprise. Then Gordon is telling the mayor he wants to get the prisoners out too. The mayor says he doesn't give a fuck about the prisoners. Gordon says he should because chances are they have something to do with Joker's plan. And after Begins-- when lunatics and killers were running around tearing the city apart, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't want to do that all over again.
As far as Dent not being evacuated. There are two cops with him that are supposed to get him out. One of them is outside waiting for his ride, and the other one inside-- Joker kills. Whats the big deal? You really think with this much crazy shit going down-- Gotham P.D. would assign 20 cops to protect Dent? Why? He may be the star D.A. but he's not the President. If he was....Joker would just throw his shoes at him and call him a dog in Arabic. -
It's fucking coarse and fucking rough and fucking irritating and it gets fucking everywhere. I was fucking this fat, slug-like Tatooinien hooker in the ass the other night, and the fucking sand was right in its ass crack! Have you ever tried fucking a sandy ass crack? It's fucking uncomfortable! I chafed my cock! God fucking damn it! If you told me I'd fuck some Tatooinian hooker in the ass and I'd end up chafing my cock I'd have told you you were fucking crazy. It's fucking nothing like here. Here everything is fucking soft and fucking smooth. I like smooth. I can feel like a paedo without those motherfucking Jedi's looking down their nose at me!
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The action is more discernable 9particularly the bat sonar stuff) and the drama is more intimate. I think many people who hate on this movie saw it in IMAX on a fucking 3 story high screen they were 25 feet from and didn't know what was going on. Wonder why? FUCK IMAX! Fucking ruining film.
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about 10,000 mobsters at once, that he would have fucking heavy police protection. Anyway, Why so FUCKING serious?
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...but the first time I was pretty fucking close to the screen. And it was probably the loudest movie I've ever fucking heard. So it was kinda scary.
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*sniff*. He must have been on downtime in his crappy service industry job. He's one of AICN's greatest ever trolls.
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where Dent only realises the nurse is the joker AFTER he removes his mask. Um... The Jokers face was still half visible. You amazingly still have the use of both eyes, Harvey! You should be able to notice that your nurse is caked in joker-style makeup!
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And I couldn't tell what the fuck was happening, especially at the end. I can't imagine it on IMAX. It be like watching a flashing pixel. The second time I sat farther back and was actually able to follow the film.
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....and I think I might just sneak in. I'm gonna pay for Valkyrie and sneak in to Sam Jackson screaming "DON'T YOU WONDER WHY YOU CAN'T GET HURT?!!!" I wouldn't give a cent to that used condom Frank Miller.
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...I agree. That is the one big directorial fuck-up in my opinion. He is looking right at him with no reaction. It could have been easily fixed with a Dent POV completely out of focus, where Joker moves in close and comes into focus.
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Dec 16, 2008 10:02:39 AM CST
its odd how fight scenes seem so much more...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...locked down and old school at home. Like the club scene for instance. In the theater that felt pretty chaotic with the lights and music and I kinda remembered it being more hand-held. But at home its just a locked down wide that barely moves and feels like a fight scene from the 80s almost, in its framing.
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at the cinema they fucked up the sound balance. The dialogue got buried underneath the music and effects. So I'm looking forward to watching the DVD at Christmas - I've given the disc a test run and it sounds perfect.
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Dec 16, 2008 10:05:42 AM CST
My biggest complaint about TDK...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
is that some plot points are way too convenient. The cop with the wife in the hospital, for example. And why the fuck is there a cop stationed INSIDE the holding cell with the joker! There is no reason for him to be protecting the inside of the door! The only reason is for the joker to bait him into retaliating. And all the NEW Wayne Industries mobile phones were fitted with the sonar tracking equipment, why is EVERY mobile in the city now a tracking unit? I know people frequently buy new mobile phones, but an entire city in the space of a few weeks?
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Yeah, there is a lot of that. But there is a lot of that in every action film ever made. Name one that doesn't have conveniently placed details to push the story forward. Its just people freak the fuck out when TDK uses those same tools.
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Dec 16, 2008 10:12:53 AM CST
My complaint about the cop in the cell with The Joker
by franklin t marmoset
That was clearly Holtz, and we all know Holtz was killed by Justine (the wannabe vampire slayer) to frame Angel and make Connor even more of annoying than usual.Explain that one, Dark Knight fans! Fucking plot holes all over the place.
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Dent just had half his face burnt off and was in hysterical grief. So he didn't recognize Joker right away. JeeSUS!
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Thats the only thing I notice too. It was a directing thing. Nolan could have easily had Aaron put his face to the side, staring at the wall, and Joker sits down and he turns and looks at him for the first time. Its just the fact that he is staring right at him with a blank stare until Joker removes the mask that makes it feel goofy.
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Dec 16, 2008 10:18:57 AM CST
The cop with the wife in the hospital...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
felt like Nolan and Co inserting something into the story to remind us that Bruce Wayne was still a part of the story. It really served no purpose. I can accept the other things as requirements of the plot. Just not this one.
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I'll stay away from the plot holes. But after careful analysis, I came to realize the reason I despised the movie with the fire of a thousand suns was that Nolan made the cops so inept, so bungling and incompetent that it totally took me out of the movie. As David Keith David said in Armageddon, these are a bunch of boobs I wouldn't trust with a potato gun. The movie should have been called The Keystone Cops instead.Had Nolan choose a different path to tell the same story that didn't involve the cops bumbling up a half dozen times, I probably would have enjoyed the movie a whole lot more.
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Dec 16, 2008 10:24:55 AM CST
I will say this.....I thought Nolan missed a lot of....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....great editing SLAM CUTS. Fuck. I forget most of them-- but I was up to 4 possibly great cuts that he missed out on by dragging out the scene or shot too far past the cool point. I'll check again, but the only one I remember at the moment is when Joker first goes to see the gangsters and says "HERE'S MY CARD." It was a perfect moment to cut to a close-up of the Joker card as he SLAMS it on the table and SLAM CUT right to next scene. Instead, for whatever reason-- Nolan doesn't cut to the card, and uses a much weaker take than that used in the trailer. Heath says it much lighter and slowly backs up toward the door and kicks it open and spins around and walks off. I don't know why we had to see that. It was like Nolan was resisting the urge to be more stylish.
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Is Bruce Wayne actually a knight? I don't think so. As far as I'm aware, Americans are not qualified to be knighted by her majesty, no matter how much money their fathers might have left them after being murdered in an alley.Pishaw! This 'film' does not hold up to scrutiny at all.
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Dec 16, 2008 10:27:15 AM CST
After watching it for the FOURTH TIME
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
the plot holes begin to get to you.Ok, something positive. Eric Roberts was very good. And I still wince every time he gets dropped of the fire escape. But to slide back into negative territory... How on earth could he be walking around afterwards with only the aid of a cane?I like the film a lot, but I just need to not watch it for a couple of years to stop "nitpicking" and forget about the plotholes.
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but the IMAX version looks good on a home projector screen, because everything is smaller, but still has that scale. The bluray for TDK has all those expansive city shots and action scenes that the IMAX version had.
And it had to be a great film for Danny to love it, because not only did he have to sit right next to the screen he also had to contend with a certain rotund avian-looking fellow who was inebriated to the point of regurgitation. C'mon, Danny tell that story again.
And, Hod, I didn't find the cops particularly bungling. I just felt they were your usual work-a-day lot, doing the best they could against a clear mastermind. It looks to us like they are stupid, but I appreciated that we did get scenes of them constantly trying to protect people. It's not like other films, where you wonder, where the hell are the cops?
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Everyone knows bats are BROWN, not BLACK.Come on, Christopher 'Nolan', do your fucking research!
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Dec 16, 2008 10:29:43 AM CST
HOD-- see I get your complaint about the cops....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
I don't agree. But that view makes sense, and its a preference thing. But complaining about how The Joker got all the bombs in the hospital? What the fuck? Uhhhh....he has goons all over the city that work for him. How does any villain do anything? We see these same sort of things in virtually every film ever made. Isn't that the point of a villain? He is always one step ahead of us and we never really know why....thats what keeps them scary.
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Yeah because cops in real life are so good at their jobs? You're watching way too much L&O. For every McNulty there are five Barney Fifes.
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not David Kieth.
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I forgot about that story. Best movie theater story ever, courtesy of Danny.
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is after bats and rachel have exited the party, the joker is still up there in that room, and harvey still secured in one of the adjacent rooms. When rachel asks about harvey, batman tells her he's safe, but how can he be sure. What happens after that? The Joker just left, or is Wayne's party now filled with dead socialites?
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it's like the Joker says later. He thought Dent really WAS Batman, and therefore assumed he had bailed out the window for Rachel.
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The police force in the movie is so woefully inept, you do a double take so severe you wind up in traction for the next month due to spinal injuries.You know what I want the next movie to be? A prequel. And not of Batman, but of the police force in the movie when they were at the academy. These useless cunts will make Mahoney and Clouseau looks like Crockett and Tubbs.
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The cops were very working class stiff types. I liked them. I liked the guy in the cell with Joker-- he was cool. And I like the fat dude that sells out Dent and then goes and has a drink. They looked and acted like real cops.
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I gotta find the original. Those were some beautiful prose. I'm forgetting details already. But I'll never forget the sound of that splash. It sounded like he dumped a 64 oz big gulp all over the floor. Pure liquid.
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The one cop that was fucking inept is Nicky Katt. The guys in it for five minutes and bitches and moans his way through it."I didn't sign up for this!""You better be a good driver""Thats not good!"And why would you divert to a tunnel where you are "sitting ducks" when you can just drive around the obstruction, down the empty opposite lane?I know, i know. Nitpicking.
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Dec 16, 2008 10:40:21 AM CST
here it is! Thank Jesus it wasn't deleted....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Aug 19th, 2008
When we saw The Dark Knight there was this huge fat guy sitting right in front of us....about 10 minutes into the film we hear this loud liquid splash like someone just dumped their whole drink on the floor. But then I see the fat guy hunched forward and realize he just hurled.....his friend next to him is patting him on the back lovingly. And the guy stands up with puke all over his mouth and chin and starts stumbling down the aisle. This guy is like 6'2 350 lbs....no joke. So he's stumbling around in the dark and I realize he's drunk off his ass. He walked in pretty normal, but now its quite apparent. He finally makes his way through the aisle and onto the stairs of the theater and the whole place is staring at him thinking how the fuck is this guy gonna make it down the stairs? Well....he didn't...he took two steps and then just falls face first on the stairs and sorta slides down the rest of the way kinda like The Penguin when he dies in Batman Returns. The guy lays there for like 10 seconds and nobody does a thing not even his friend who is sitting enjoying the film. Finally the fat guy stands back up and instead of going out the exit on his side he has to stumble across the front of the theater toward the exit on the opposite side....mumbling to himself and holding his arms out in front of him like he's blind. He finally makes it out and we forget about him until we leave.....where we see his friend find him laying on his back in some bushes having a smoke. Fuck man....I want whatever he's drinking...... -
I hear Steve Guttenberg will play Commisioner Gordon in the third film.
Actually, I wouldn't mind at all if they just went on from TDK, and made that 40's era Batman we are always yapping for on here.
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He appears to be English, and yet he has been working in the US for quite some time.Where's the scene explaining where he got his green card from, eh?
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I've never seen an episode of L&O. Not one. I know I should as I think Jerry Orbach and Sam Waterson are gods. So go figure.And I thought it was agreed that Keith David and David Keith will forever be referred to as David Keith David as together they constitute a supreme entity.
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bollocks. The Joker just left. Maybe he stole some canapes on the way out, but he just left.
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Why was no usher called to assist or eject this drunk 'overweight' man, eh? Are we supposed to believe he was allowed to just stagger around, drunk off his ass, and not get tazed in the balls or at least escorted from the cinema?Honestly, Christopher Nolan, it's like you don't even care about establishing a logical narrative.
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hopefully he took a full glass of champagne when he left. He still looked thirsty after he drank from an empty glass.
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Dec 16, 2008 10:52:37 AM CST
And why did Robin not suffer tissue damage when he was frozen?
by franklin t marmoset
Oh, wait.That's a different film.
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Is putting me in a friendly mood.If you know what I'm saying...
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...they call him The Joker, yet he doesn't tell a single joke in the film. Maybe Nolan should read the fucking source material next time.
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That was a nice little detail I noticed when watching the film for the second time - that both Bruce Wayne and The Joker threw out the contents of their champagne glasses.I'm assuming it was deliberate, anyway. If it was, nice touch, Christoper Nolan.
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I cannot confirm whether or not Penguin Man was tazed in the balls in the lobby. I really don't know. Honestly. -
The two stories the Joker tells. The first one about his father, then the one about his wife... Which one explains how he got his scars? His father stuck the blade in his mouth and said "Why so serious? Lets put a smile on that face." So he cut him then? So why did he tell the story about his wife? Did I miss something?
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hasta manana guys.
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I think that was the closest we got to a "joking" joker. He told each person the story he probably assumed would suit them best. Like a party-trick, changing for every audience. He seems to be going for the father story(you remind me of my father, and I HATED my father) and then he goes for the other one.
He plans to tell one to Batman, and I somehow expected that one to be the real one. But he never gets the chance to tell it. -
I think the point is he's fucking nuts. He probably tells a completely different story every time.
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Dec 16, 2008 11:09:38 AM CST
awww I remembered one of the other moments....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...that bothered me because Nolan seemed to be resisting style. The entrance of the Batmobile during the transport of Dent scene. It would have been fucking sweet if the Batmobile launched up in the air to block Joker's missile and that was the first we saw of it. It would have been an awesome music cue that would have really got the audience jumpin. Instead there is no music and the Batmobile just appears on the road with no grand entrance. Its just there crusing along with the transport and its nothing to get excited about. It was oddly lacking much like the first appearance of Batman at the beginning of the film. When he is just walked through that parking structure. It felt oddly uncool.
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I thought of thatm and I can go with it.. but... he tells Michael Jai White the father story, which doesn't really fit unless his father looked like a 250 pound linebacker.NITPICKING!
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Then go with my theory. The story changes every time.
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Dec 16, 2008 11:14:08 AM CST
no, he told the father story to a bunch of low-life thugs
by jonah echo
who probably all had crappy fathers themselves. The weepy romantic one would not have had them crapping their pants. They probably pride themselves on surviving rough family lives, and this guy tells one of the most f**ed up ones they have heard.
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Dec 16, 2008 11:14:09 AM CST
there should be a backstory of Joker movie...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...where we learn Spawn is Joker's father.
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but that he pulls out a different one, depending on the audience.
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But I really wish they would have CG'd in a few frames of the pencil on top of the table before me slams guys face into it, and added a sound effect to slicing Spawn's mouth open, and also....how would that kill you?
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there isn't even a sound effect. just a very loud music cue. unless he stuck the knife through the roof of his mouth it couldn't have killed him. I always thought that got very cut to meet PG-13.Yes, the Joker is a nutcase and has an origin story for every situation. Fair enough.
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I guarantee there was a sound effect there and a different shot on the back of Spawn's head with the slice motion, and not an insert of his goon's reaction. They say you can get away with a lot with the MPAA by just lowering or removing a sound effect.
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I log for the first time in a while and get to read Danny's classic TDK story.
I wonder what that guy is doing right now. I mean RIGHT. NOW.
Me, I'm listening to Wind of Change by The Scorpions. -
Dec 16, 2008 11:32:21 AM CST
I remember Wes Craven talking about the MPAA
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
and trying to get Scream an R. He said something to the effect of the MPAA was fine with the the violence of the ending, but just wanted him to "tone down the tension"! WTF does that even mean?
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Hhhmmmmm. For some reason I see him going down to San Diego to visit a friend going to school at SDSU. At the moment he is listening to "Drive" off R.E.M.'s album, Automatic For The People.
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Is their verdicts based on member judgement?
Or do they have a checklist?
Thump on the nose? Rated G.
Punch on the nose? Rated PG
Punch on the nose with blood? Rated PG-13
Grabbing a nose and ripping it off? Rated R.
Grabbing a nose, ripping it off and shoving it up someone's ass? Rated NC-17.
Grabbing a nose, ripping it off, shoving it up an ass and making a tearing sound? Rated X
Grabbing a nose, ripping it off, shoving it up an ass with a tearing sound and showing the killer's cock with a rock-hard erection? Rated XXX
I mean what is the protocol? -
There are no formal standards because every film is different. If its a film where one guy gets stabbed and we see blood and thats the only bit of violence in the entire thing than it will most likely not get an R. But the same stabbing scene followed by a 10 minute car chase will probably get an R. I've heard you can have blood on a shirt or a face or whatever and thats fine for PG-13....you just can't see it drip. The second there is a run of blood down the mouth or a droplet off a head-- it is an R. But really they say a film could get an R one week and they resubmit it to a different group of MPAA people a month later without a single change and they give it a PG-13.
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If it was a Disney movie or R-Rated gorefest, it didn't matter.
If you were old enough to walk up and reach the window to give money, then you were in.
But they refused to show 9 1/2 Weeks, so I guess they drew the line at sex, but not gore.
I miss those days.... -
you see any good movies lately?
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Dec 16, 2008 11:47:54 AM CST
Can you imagine the Penguin Guy at Cloverfield?
by chittychittygangbang
I bet he had a white-knuckle grip on the chair in front of him just muttering "Oh God, it's coming up. Oh God, I feel it in my mouth now...RAAAAALPH!!!"
Person in front of him feels like they just got a Gatorade shower, but instead of cold thirst- quenching beverage, it is a hot, bile-based mixture of Taco Bell, McDonald's and Bicardi 151 and Hi-C drink that has been brewing for about two hours. -
http://tinyurl.com/5lomf8
After rewatching TDK last night at home, I realize he is actually in that film!! Maybe thats what made him sick. He was terrified about seeing himself on the big screen. He plays the guy with the phone inside his gut. -
I rewatched Dark Night of the Scarecrow after seeing it on Mav's site.
Great stuff.
Also caught the In The Closet episode of Tales From The Darkside the other morning.
Rewatched Dumbo after thinking about it the other day. (Like. A. Bitch.)
Watched Christmas Vacation as I decorated the other night and have been watching Cloverfield on the ipod at work.
Also have watched The Host at least 11 more times and Chocolate twice more.
I have a bad habit of getting n a groove and just rewatching movies over and over.
I have these crazy hours nowadays and sometimes get home and watch something I know I will enjoy rather than broaden my horizons.
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Dec 16, 2008 11:59:33 AM CST
did you guys see that Shining coming of age trailer?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Its awesome. Dunno why I just thought of that. Its been around for years.
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http://tinyurl.com/6de5be
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Its Keith David Keith, or David Keith David.
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Keith David Keith in: The Brothers Grinn. Directed by the late Brian Keith.
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That guy looked exactly like Ethan Suplee. What a legend.
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that DKD OR KDK memo. I havent been on as much lately. I also didnt see the second david in HOD's post the first time.
Makes sense now. -
Dec 16, 2008 12:20:15 PM CST
Dead Presidents 2: Return of the Keith fake leg beating
by stuntcock mike
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Yes Jonah, they have combined to become a supreme entity of unstoppable force. Someone needs to work on a photoshopped image of this beast for the new site.
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There's Something About Mary.
"Is it the beans or the franks?" -
No sound at all. Joker just lets go of his head and slumps over. I wonder if this was shot as two moves, like the slice of the mouth and then Joker SLAMS the knife straight up under his chin and then releases.
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in Superman.
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"Ass to ass"
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They Live.
Also, wasn't he in the running for Ghostbusters before Ernie Hudson was selected? -
...is what paralyzed Reeve. The studio just kept it under wraps until the final film was finished.
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Yeah until he found out his character had to show fear. He walked off muttering "FUCK THEM MUTHAFUCKIN' GHOST MUTHAFUCKAS."
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Dec 16, 2008 12:42:13 PM CST
Danny... The shining trailer...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
This guy didn't quite get the joke...
BODOspidey666 (4 hours ago)lol...but in this trailer , the movie looks like a comedy movie ... but its perfectly horror :)
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until you have seen Shark in Venice on Sci-Fi Channel.
Holy crap!
And yes, it has a Baldwin in it. -
"Wait, that smells like cunBOOM!"
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I know...there are a few comments like that. "WHY DON'T THEY SHOW THE SCARY PARTS?" Fucking cunts. I wish their heads would CUNBOOM like Reeve's vertebrae.
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Dec 16, 2008 12:50:23 PM CST
that is why Reeve's nose was so oddly slender....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...he had it surgically altered to block the scent of fragrant cunt. His sense of scent was so keen, he couldn't walk down the street without howling.
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Imagine if you saw this trailer in 1978. Fucking awesome.http://tinyurl.com/6o9zjjNone of this scattershot .7 of a second collection of random images.And the poster is awesome as well.
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http://tinyurl.com/6x3ozcBack when you didn't just have to have a character yell his name to explain the story of a movie.
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Just another reason to watch Lost.
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Have you seen Fahey lately. Guy looks like Kenny Rogers now.
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Just set this shit 15 years past TDK. Give me John C. McGinley as The Joker, and Michael Wincott as Bruce Wayne.
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So I'm at the gym riding the bike when on one of the tv's is the Young and the Restless or one of those soap operas. Who do I see on the screen before me? Do my very own eyes deceive me? Burt Gummer. WTF? Is this a dream? Am I exhausted and confused and mistakenly think I just saw Burt fucking Gummer on a daytime soap opera? I am deeply troubled by this, and will search for the truth with 2for2true. Please don't forsaken me in my time of need my lord! Hear my prayer! Burt's soul hangs in the balance!
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Dec 16, 2008 1:17:39 PM CST
"Broke into the wrong Goddamn rec room, didn't ya cunt?!"
by stuntcock mike
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Yep. I DVR Y&R (I know. Habit) and it is indeed Gummer. He plays an aged former hippie accused of a bombing ala Bill Ayers, only not as smart. It's pretty hilarious.
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Dec 16, 2008 1:17:48 PM CST
holy shit....Burt is indeed in Young and the Restless.....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...and look what a fucking pussy he is out of character! Pillow, you accept this guy but snub Don "The Walking Penis" Johnson? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that. Don's foreskin would break this Data lookin' muthafucka in half. http://tinyurl.com/6ycf5o
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...is there any fucking show you don't watch?
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20 plus!
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Dolly Parton's tit meat to his face.
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Why didn't you tell us? This impacts the Church of Chang, the scriptures, the warciples to the core, to the fucking core! Fuck. I wonder if Jarv has felt the ripples in the force from this....Danny - you bet fucking right Don Johnson ain't in the fucking CoC. Burt Gummer is a fucking man's man in the B movie classic Tremor series. What has Don done? Miami Vice? Fuck that. Not the same.
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Why must you torment me Jonah?This is horrible news. Horri-fucking-ble.
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can one nominate a character, and not the actor himself..cause it's quite clear michael gross doesn't deserve it, but Burt? sure!
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Again, there are no clear cut rules.
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....and no show in American history has helped men procure more cunt than Miami Vice.
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CSI: Miami.
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of course pussy is important, but not every member is required to be a pussy magnet. There's a broad spectrum covered, related to level of movie roles played by those enshrined, to kicking ass, to being a funny bastard, to getting all the pussy with their magical cocks. Warwick Davis is enshrined after all. So Tom Selleck and Don Johnson can both fuck off.
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'cause he's the fucking man.
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who killed his wife. "You wouldn't shoot an unarmed man?" "Wrong." CUNBOOOM!
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He definitely loses points. His chracter on Y&R is atrocious. Hippie characiture saying shit like "far out" and shit. He's also a former ashram guru.
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.....was Tubbs sweating his ass off in that strip club at the beginning of the pilot. Fucking awesome. The sweat is just pouring out of his hair!! Why did the 80s always look so hot? Was it the climate, or just the bitches?
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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!! The CoC list is forever tarnished.
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But Sonny Crocket and Tom Magnum aren't? Fuuuuuuuck that. Magnum's dick 'stache is more of a man than Keating.
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He is humble enough to prove that he is just like us but also powerful enough to do battle with the mighty Graboid
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Did you have the little Gummer yet?
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little Olivia was born last Wed night at 10:20. She has had to be in the NICU because she had some breathing trouble. But she should be coming home tomorrow or Thursday thank God. I love her so much already
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Oh cool, congrats dude!! Yeah...that sucks when they got stay. More precautionary most of the time I think. Hope all is well!!
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I really want her to be home but better safe than sorry that's for sure
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One month to go for me.
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MAMMA MIA has hit £69,068,073 in your country. Which makes it the highest grossing film of all time!! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeehahhhhhhhh!!!
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All the best to you and your family!
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Wow...lots of going forth and multiplying around here lately. Best to you and your family as well.
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congratulations Jarv for whatever Danny is blithering about.
Seriously, that is great to hear Kloipy, and good to hear Olivia is due to come home soon. Take care dude!
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Dec 16, 2008 3:46:25 PM CST
MAMMA MIA-- highest grossing film of all time in England!!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Jarv can never say a damn thing about American's shit taste. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
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Considered as a separate entity from Gross. His character still represents much for us. We can only assume that he was led, at the time he was "the 'stache", by a higher power. When that power leaves him, he knows not what he does. It's a spiritual/possession thing, guys. 2for2true works in mysterious ways.
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Good name you picked out for your daughter, mate. That's the only one the wife and I could agree on. My daughter was born jaundiced so I feel your pain, bro.Lot's of offspring around here. The CoC be fucking!Time to go home.
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Thanks for joining my site. I really appreciate it. Fantastic pic of you and Olivia! Thank you for sharing it with us.
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My bad.
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Dec 16, 2008 4:21:35 PM CST
Thanks guys. The hardest thing about becoming a Dad is..
by stuntcock mike
figuring out what age to let them start watching the Classics.
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Educate them before they become corrupted by their peers. You'll give them a solid standard by which to judge films that will last a lifetime.
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Congratulations, mate. Great news.
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Did you see the photo he put up? I'm off to brave the snow to watch my nephew in a school band concert. I'll see you tomorrow. Have a great night, Wolf. Take care!
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Yes I did. He got me beat, fair and square!Later, Mav. Enjoy the show!
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Dec 16, 2008 6:13:00 PM CST
never too soon to show the kids Robocop, IMHO.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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It's such an exciting time and let it is just a love I never imagined possible. I can't wait for her to grow up so I can teach her things and get her in to great film and novels and everything just like her dad. I really appreciate all the well wishes from you guys! Means a lot :)
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Dec 16, 2008 6:21:07 PM CST
Congrats Stuntcock! and I'm just glad she will grow up with Pixa
by kloipy
Seriously the moment you see them and they look into your eyes it is just the best thing in the entire world. When she came out and was crying, I went over to her and talked to her and she stopped and just looked at me. It is the biggest high you can imagine
that way i won't feel so bad going to the theater to see them haha! -
CoC be fuckin!
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I am way past through discussing that movie. The nitpicking is ridiculous. It really doesn't deserve THAT much scrutiny.
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you say my message to you up above about Red Cliff. It's kinda long so you can't miss it.
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meant to ask you:Did you see my message to you about Red Cliff?
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Going to be watching Mummy 3 tonight!! Whats that?? Moriarty on Attach? I need to expand this TB quickly.
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Dec 16, 2008 7:40:37 PM CST
JOHN WOO PACKS A POWERFUL PUNCH IN THE PANTS!!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
POW!!
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Congrats on the baby.
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Locally famous!!! There is a pick of me in the local newspaper. I'm trying to find it online but I don't think its there.
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cool name too!
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Caught the clip. Moriarty is a pretty normal looking geek.
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I saw that episode. It was probably one of the best so far. I am really liking the Clone Wars.
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As is Hardboiled.
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nothing really grabbed me this time, other than Eyeborgs which looks like a really fun one. And of course Banlieue 13 Ultimatum (Twitch site now has an actual teaser up, I'm avoiding the featurettes, I dont like seeing the making ofs before the movie)
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The Crow, Phantom, Tr2on (okay that one's a sequel), I'm waiting for a Dick Tracy remake, but a gritty Tarentino/Sin City-style one, but by someone other than Frank Miller or Tarentino, I just mean a hardcore hyperviolent gangster flick with a bunch of freaks. Say what you will about the stupid kid and Madonna, but that lame Warren Beatty Tracy movie had some great makeup job in there for the bad guys!
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lots of heatlth and happiness for your newborns!
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"LET THERE BE GAY PORN!"
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Nothing breeds like a CoC.
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His wife started pimping for him.
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But you still don't get the creme back from the Oreos. Mwa ha ha!
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Whoa whoa....no one invited me to the breast pump party?
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a sad excuse for a cookie, the cream is everything!
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No pumps, so no extra. Better luck next time.
"Tough titty", said the kitty, "but the milk's still good." -
I do like a guy with a large...forehead. :)
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my forehead is kinda like that 'objects in the mirror are bigger than they really are'.... wow I just paraphrased that all wrong
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It's what inside that matters.
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The way all the guys around here are reproducing lately. A forehead like that would be a frightening thing on a newborn.
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i was doodling on paper for a while, but once in photoshop it just became something else entirely. Other than the basic short hair/goatee/shirt, you wouldnt be able to pick me out of a police lineup with that drawing.
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I didn't realize you were the artist. Hey, just got a brand-new banner on top of the site. Want to scope it out and see what you think? It's less girly.
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the original banner was cool for your personal stuff. This reflects a bit more on the content now that you've opened it up to having contributors. What's that comic book-y one to the right from? I know I've seen it before, I just cant place it....
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Dec 17, 2008 1:56:18 AM CST
If I ever get it in gear, I'll have a review of Gran Torino
by mavra chang
I've been goofing off instead of finishing it. Shame, shame.
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Vic Rattlehead.
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vic_Rattlehead
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And I dont think much of them anyway, Eddie kicks rattlehead's ass! I mean the one after that, like 4 panels making a bigger picture.
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I didn't make the banner. I'm not that tech-savvy. I like the look of it though.
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It just looks familiar, so I'm wondering.
How is a banner tech-savvy? You just have to paste a bunch of pics together in photoshop then upload it, no? -
Anytime I try to do anyting at all intricate, the site has to be fixed...usually taking hours and much cursing from the one who has to redo it. I have messed up that site countless times just trying to post writing on there. It's awful!
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it's not like I have a website of my own. Maybe I should try to get something going. I was pretty much computer illiterate until a couple years ago. Slowly learning.
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Very slowly.
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I was just gonna add that I have to go back out looking for a job tomorrow.
goodnight!! -
See you around the funny farm. ;)
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Good for you, buddy!
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Michael Gross is clearly a seperate entity to Burt Gummer. Therefore, Burt "appropriate ammunition" gummer can be changian but gross clearly isn't. It will be over my cold, dead corpse before Tom "3 men and a twat" Selleck gets in.
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My hangover has now reached clash of the titans levels. Possibly becuase I got shitfaced yesterday as well. Although it may be too early to judge. I was 45 minutes late this morning and no cunt noticed- I didn't even try with an excuse (which is just as well because I live within walking distance).
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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAI'm having a meltdown. Cuntflaps.
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I love the smell of cunting napalm in the morning.....smells like cuntflaps.
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I love the smell of cunting napalm in the morning.....smells like cuntflaps.
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pissed from last night. Therefore, I'm going on an epic stream of consciousness posting marathon.
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Camden is such a fucking shithole. It really is. I've lived here for fuck knows how long, but occasionally something reminds me that I do actually live in a fucking shithole. By the way, I love living here, it rocks, but I'm not deluded that it's nice. If that makes sense.
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hmmmm. Pity I'm a credit risk. cunts. Boz.
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Dec 17, 2008 4:01:06 AM CST
I've come to the conclusion...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
that Jarv is a danger to the community.He's a borderline alco, is red-flagged as a possible pervert by his video store and who works in a school!Inform the authorities!
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this is surprisingly hard. I don;t know how chipps keeps it up, Fucksticks. Want to sleep. Fucking hate work.
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By using the Gonzo method of rambling on for hours on end, you will eventually (due to the law of averages) strike gold.It will be worth the wait!P.S. Who wanted Selleck included anyway? He was funny on Friends and I liked that film where Sledge Hammer sent him to jail, but he's hardly cool or badass or anything. Oh, an Magnum. I liked Magnum when I was a kid. Still not cool, though.
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Jarv's par for the course then.
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I crossed the border ages ago.
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more "turns up, surfs internet and picks up salary"
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That should add some fuel to your fire.The Welsh! They mock you and your uppity big city ways. A Welshman invented the pervert flag, which I hear you wear as a bandana!
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and it seems to be too much effort to pick up the handset and collect them. I wonder if there's anywhere I can go for a nap.
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Dec 17, 2008 4:06:27 AM CST
If Selleck is in, then you must also include...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
that midget Tattoo from Fantasy Island.
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Fuck wales. I may go for a ciggy. I wonder what everyone else is doing. BOZ. Fucking hate this fucking job, even though I've got 3 weeks off from Friday. It sucks like a tijuana hooker.
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No. 3 men and a cuntflap forever put paid to his entry. Let alone 3 men and a cuntflap 2. Huzzah!. I'm quite pissed. BTW- I'm not on the pervert list. Mrs. Jarv is. Although it is probably my fault.
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Dec 17, 2008 4:09:57 AM CST
Weren't you hung over yesterday, Jarv?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Why not make it the trifecta? Pop down the offy and grab a little nosh to top you up.
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hahahahahahahahahahahaha Why so serious?
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thought of that makes me feel sick. I think I may have done it-especially considering our xmas party is tomorrow. Oh bollox, I wonder if I( can go home,
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at the moment, and I have to say: It's better than Watchmen.Miller may be a hack nowadays, and quite possibly a cunt, but that was good.
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He's drunk, he's abusing the internet like a thirteen year old boy abuses his pee-pee, and he's wearing his wife's pervert flag in the office.It's blaze of glory time, I reckon. The only way to go.
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Dec 17, 2008 4:16:24 AM CST
It's becoming a common theme here...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
of enabling others to drink copious amounts of alcohol. Zeddermore was doing it the other night and I was advising him to "swig from the bottle". Now I'm advising Jarv to pop down the offy at 10am.And I haven't been drunk in ages!I'm an enabler.
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This I decided ages ago. He's not just a cunt, but a smug cunt. Although I do tend to like his British films, I want to damage him for being in that unholy shit fit MI3.
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I've been very slowly making my way through the book. I'm only about four chapters in and I'm not really finding it that interesting. The blue guys on mars, reflecting on his life. Hoo-fucking-ray!
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As in Former linebacker and mediocre action movie star Brian Bosworth? Or is that some sort of Britishism of which I'm unfamiliar?
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but considering I called the business manager an incompetent cunt the other day, I seem to be dangerously unfirable. Bastards. Maybe if I puke on someone.....
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is mind-numbingly boring. And he seems to wander around with his cock out for loads of it. It's a tiny cock as well. You'd think with god powers he'd have given himself a bigger piece.
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or me being too lazy to write "bolllocks". It's up to you. boz.
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cunt's overrated anyway.
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The Rocketeer and Babylon AD last night.I haven't seen The Rocketeer in probably 15 years. It's a fun, if slight, adventure film. And Dalton was good. "I do my own stunts!"Babylon AD is a mess, but wasn't completely terrible until the last 30 minutes where it fails to properly explain ANYTHING!And Gérard Depardieu with a prosthetic nose so redundant, it's an insult to prosthetics!
I hate Vin Diesel. -
and nothing happened? Fuck man you're as untochable as I am. Congrats, the freedom is liberating ain't it?
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Sold 13.5 million copies in one week. 1.7 on Blu Ray.Ridiculous!
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did not seem to change me life the way it did the other freaks and losers that slobbers on that books knob. Its just good and nothing more in my opinion.
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I always meant to watch that film, but I never could bring myself to go through with it. Part of me thought that seeing the title in the video shop, chuckling to myself for five or ten minutes, and then renting something else was probably the most entertainment I was going to get from a film called One Tough Bastard.Great title, though.
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if I didn't begrudge every second of my presence in this building. He's a proper moron. Seriously, the cunt is stupid.
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With Howie Long! Ha! That film was fucking awful!I want to see it again.
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I did not have a damascene revelation. Nor did my cock get sucked, nor did it make me re-evaluate my world view. I have come to the conclusion that Watchmen is, while quite good, the most overrated thing in the history of things that can be overrated.
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Dec 17, 2008 4:47:59 AM CST
This site sucks for news... So I'll report my own...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Gore Verbinski is planning to make a film about online role-playing, based on a Wall Street Journal article.The article by Alexandra Alter focuses on a married man who spends as many as 20 hours a day on a computer, existing through an avatar who is a thriving, musclebound entrepreneur. In reality, he is a diabetic, chain-smoking 53-year-old.Steven Knight ("Eastern Promises") will write the script.
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fucking starting to feel awful now. fuckbags.
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and it's also all of us. I'm really Simon Pegg slumming it.
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I'm actually the reanimated corpse of JOhn Belushi, Except I do more drugs because it can't kill me now
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And I'm not asking because I just finished mine. When I used to drink and was feeling shitty the next day a quick beer or two always did the job. Some times though, a couple of quick pops turned into several and then the trouble started, again.
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much as I want to. I think the school would frown on that. I miss my old music industry job.
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how does chipps keep this up? Seriously, typing is very, very fucking hard right now,
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Seriously. Fuckbags. Fucking load of horseshit. It doesn't matter how I lay this out or how many fucking pictures I put in, this shit will still be boring. I could put in a photo of PRincess Di's shattered corpse and it will still be dull as fuck. Bollocks. Fucking hate my job. Stupid cunt wants me to try to polish a turd. Except it's a turd like king kongs fingeer and there's fuck all I can do with it. It's a proper Elvis killer.
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I'm going to go and troll someone.
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I've just listened to those messages, and not one of them was remotely interesting. BOLLOCKS.
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think I'm going to be sick Hairy cuntflaps.
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this needs saying.
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Rob zombie excuses: ""Rob is a true fan of horror, give him a break" AND I AM A TRUE FAN OF BUTTERNUT SQUASH, BUT DO YOU SEE ME TRYING TO GROW THE SHIT IN MY APARTMENT? NO, BECAUSE I KNOW I CAN'T GROW VEGETABLES WORTH SHIT IN A 1-BEDROOM APT. I KNOW MY LIMITATIONS. UNLIKE ROB ZOMBIE. MOTHERFUCKERS"
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Dec 17, 2008 5:39:26 AM CST
I've never seen a Rob Zombie movie
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
The closest I've got is Turbulence, which used a White Zombie song on it's trailer!
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I don't know what an aombie is. Pah. ALL BY MYSELF. DON'T WANNA BE ALL BY MY SE-ELF-ELF.
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They all suck. 100o corpses is woefully bad. Rejects is dramatically better but still shit, and Halloween is a crime. The cunt makes Eli Roth look like Hitchcock.
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sorry, all.
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I may start reciting nursery rhymes. You think they'd just send me home.
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Dec 17, 2008 5:49:01 AM CST
Never seen an Eli Roth movie either
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
But I HAVE seen half of a Uwe Boll movie. Alone In The Dark i think it was. It has Slater in it.
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It sounds awesome. And there's a poster of it that looks like Watchmen outside of my window. I must see this.
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It's such a botched waste of time, that one. Half Rob Zombie's 're-imagining' and half an insipid re-tread of the original.If it had been fully Rob Zombie's version of Halloween, I could at least of respected the film. It would still be shit, but shit i could respect. As it stands, it starts out with the best of intentions (but still shit) and then totally cops out at the halfway point (although remaining consistently shit).Rubbish.And Jarv is right, droid. There is no need for anyone to watch any of Zombie's films.
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Dec 17, 2008 5:53:42 AM CST
I've no intention to, Franklin.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I've only ever seen the first Halloween and the H20 shitfest. That's enough for me. Zombie doesn't make films that interests me.
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I said 'could at least of', which is a cardinal grammatical sin.Hail Mary full of grace, etc. May the grammar gods forgive me.
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I own it. And it is, in fact, awful.
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which is REALLY fucking awful.
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I feel that is almost reason enough to see it. I'll just have to lie to Mrs. Jarv.
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The more I hear about how shit it is, the more I want to see it.
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Dec 17, 2008 5:58:50 AM CST
Mrs Droid wants to see The Spirit...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
because she's delusional enough to think that it will be as good as Sin City, which she loves.I've failed to convince her otherwise.
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and Mrs. Jarv likes that. So she might be cool with seeing it.
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Dec 17, 2008 6:01:12 AM CST
Mendes gets naked in every film...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
that's her signature move.
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not true. She was fully dressed at all times in Once Upon A time in mexico. She makes me happy in the pants, and should just be nekkid as a matter of course
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stupid fucking article. He doesn't seem to understand that not only does it suck, badly, but I also do not give the slightest toss about it. Wanker.
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5 years in the music industry, a fucking MA and a GDL and I'm making an article that's less interesting than TFL's newsletter look pretty. Cunts.
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Dec 17, 2008 6:11:45 AM CST
Well, she got a fingering from Joaquin Phoenix
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
and could've used a bit of a neat n tidy of the downstairs department in Training Day.What else has she been in? Hitch? If she got her tits out in that I might have given it a pass.
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I'm obviously pissed. So therefore am not remotely capable of any work.
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that she got fingered by Joaguin Phoenix? This has just jumped up my must see list.
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do not want to be fucking here. This sucks very, very fucking hard and I am not fucking happy at all. BALLSACKS.
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Which was an ok film, but it had one of the best car chases I've seen in many, many years.
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I'm here until Christmas fucking Eve. They asked me when I started if I wanted to book time off for Christmas, and I'm all, "No, that's fine, new job and whatnot, I just want to get on with it."Jesus, what an idiot.
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then i have the following week off.Cannot... Fucking... Wait!!!
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pros- walk to work (that's about £700 saved at least per year). Free Lunch. Great Holidays. Cons- fucking hate it and it's way beneath me. To quote the DOnor- every time I step inside I die a little bit inside.
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I'm off from midday tomorrow until 8th Jan.
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Want pub. Guinness, a kebab of some description and sleep. And maybe some sex.
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Two words: FUCKING PIGEONS!They like caused as much destruction as the Cloverfield monster. Pigeons are bad ass, unlike Tom Selleck or Don Johnson.I was quite surprised to see so many 'name' actors in this sci-fi turd. I just love the "foreshadowing" done when Bruce Greenwood tells Hillary she's not a leader until making a bad decision, and lo and behold, Greenwood, dead! Hillary, make the tough decision.......now! And Stanley Tucci's "meltdown" was priceless. But it pales in comparison to At the Earth's Core with Doug muthafucking McClure.
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That's it.Christmas day, Boxing day, New Year's day.Bollocks.I am bitterly regretting not booking off the week after Christmas. That was just stupid. Now I'm going to be stuck in the office, with hardly anyone here, and no one even on the internets to talk to.Bollocks!
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I'll be off from Christmas Eve till Jan. 2, when my sorry ass will have to be at work due to year-end bullshit. Yay...fucking accounting.
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Ghostrider. No ta-ta's out for a breath of fresh air there.
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They'll nick your sandwich right out of your hand.Although, they are not nearly as bad ass as seaguls. Seaguls fuck pidgeons up. Seriously, I once saw a seagul swoop onto a pidgeon - in mid-fucking-air - and rip it's guts out right there.Don't fuck with the seaguls.
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Bollocks!
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that's why they used pigeons. Pigeons are dumber and aren't part of the bird union.
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Is gloriously B-Grade, and every person involved knows it. I like it.
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The Core also knows the bird union is closely affiliated with the bird mafia, which is almost entirely run by the seaguls.
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seriously. Flying fucking rats. Blimp like American tourists feed the cunts in trafalgar aquare. Fuck tourists with a dead pigeon.
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Dec 17, 2008 7:05:52 AM CST
All you need to control seagulls are...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
a greasy bag of hot chips. They'll act like lemmings to get a piece of that shit.
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and lets face it, you don't do it for her acting "talent" then you have to make sure she's naked. Otherwise your just a cunt.
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She knows they'll lick the grease right off that talentless face of hers.Seaguls love face grease.
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and by good I mean- really fucking bad as it mwkes them explode- or that could be an urban myth.
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They sell bread crumbs for triple the price on the street.
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Dec 17, 2008 7:11:32 AM CST
Venice is the worst city for pigeons.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I fucking hate pigeons and stupid american tourists are taking fucking photos of their kids with the dirty, disease ridden fuckers shitting all over them.
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in Zombie Strippers. If a movie was made for her, that was it.
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They were deeply offended by the concept of The Crow, knowing, as they did, that Crows are pussies compared to seaguls.It was a seagul, disguised as a prop handler, who tampered with that gun, you know.
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Steven Seagal has the seaguls' number.He'll chop those bastards in the neck, and then throw them either into a table or through a window. Then he will lecture tham about recycling.It's the only known method for dealing with seaguls.
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A lot of typos today, and I'm not even drunk.
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and their quest to dominate the bird world by running into stuff headfirst.
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Dec 17, 2008 7:41:59 AM CST
I always thought Ryan Seacrest
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
was a bit egotistical to name that DSV show after himself.But then again, I sometimes pronounce R's as W's. So I'm not one to talk.
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And feel a bit less like mildly warmed up death. Need another one.
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now I'm more awake I've realised that I'm still at work. How shit.
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Dec 17, 2008 7:58:12 AM CST
Hooray, I have bought meself a Christmas present!
by franklin t marmoset
Hellboy and Hellboy II in a cool tin thingy.Now I know I will have at least one thing for Christmas that I actually want.P.S. I highly recommend everyone buys themselves a Christmas present. It's nice.
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Do it just to cheer yourself up, mate.
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Woo-hoo! Christmas and that."It's Christmas, Theo. It's the time for miracles."Sorry. I am filled with the Christmas spirit this afternoon for some reason, just like Hans Gruber.
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mostly alcohol. Big advantage of working in education.
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bah, humbug.
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It is his favourite time to steal bearer bonds from office buildings and then fall out of office buildings.Christmas!
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he was an asshole that got thrown out of a window by a dumb Irish Flatfoot. I know, because that's what his brother said.
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Why would the US government extradite a South American dictator on Christmas Eve?And how could the same shit happen to the same guy twice?
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Dec 17, 2008 8:26:18 AM CST
"Why would the US government extradite a South American dictator
by lost jarv
shits and giggles. Only explanation.
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"What set's off the metal detector first - the lead in your ass or the shit in your brains!"You know, that makes no sense, now I think about it. If shit could set off metal detectors, they'd be going off all the time. John McClane did not think that particular quip through.
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I usually get those after a dodgy curry.
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My only objection to Die Hard 2 is...it is unnecessarily crass. The LoS is set to overdrive! Like Dennis Franz's brother. It's fuck this and fuck that! Too much!Merry Fuckin' Christmas.
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Don't invoke the unholy power of the LoS again.The internets are already buckling under the weight of Jarv's hangover-fueled invective. Any more swearing and the entire collection of tubes will collapse in on itself!What will we do then? Work?
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look inside yourself, you know this to be true. And on an actual critical note- reusing Yippee-Kay-Ay Motherfucker was wrong, crass and unnecessary. In Die Hard it made sense, given the Western conversations, but the only reason it is used in 2 is so that McClaine can have a pay off because he's so bad ass. WANK. Harlin is a wanker and a hack that should stick to fucking his ginger wife in the pooper and not directing anything more complicated than his piss into a toilet bowl.
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Hells yeah. Pillows "FUCKING FREEDOM" post was genius,
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Dec 17, 2008 8:48:04 AM CST
Ginger wife? Isn't he divorced from Davis?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Harlin has made some of celluloids greatest examples of stupidity, both good and bad.
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get it? get it?
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That earns him a lifetime pass, as far as I'm concerned. Deep Blue Sea (aka LL Cool J Vs The Shark Monsters) is a masterpiece of big, dumb cinema.
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Dec 17, 2008 8:57:41 AM CST
No, Deep Blue Sea is a steaming pile of shit.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Just goddamn awful, and not in a good way. Well, the shark leaping out of the water to get a ranting Samuel L. Jackson was amusing.
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Dec 17, 2008 8:59:39 AM CST
Harlins lifetime pass is close to getting revoked...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
For every Cuttroat Island there's a Mindhunters waiting in the wings.
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mitigates everything shit that he has done. Shark Wrangling, Samuel L Jackson getting chomped mid inspiring speech, LL Cool J as the badass chef.But not quite,
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but then there's Die Shit 2.
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But no film where LL fights a shark can be shit
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just hate pretty much everything else he has done. And I'm semi disgusted at myself for liking DBS. Even if it's partially because I want to hook Saffron Burrows legs behind her ears (you know where this is going). LL Cool J= Worst actor ever- DBS, H20, Rollerball. The man sucks balls.
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and not one of Bob Marley's backing singers. Hehehehehe
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should never have had sequels/ prequels etc. No. Bad. Exorcist 3, however, is quite good.
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Deep Blue Sea gets a pass, because you can never have too many shark movies on the big screen.
Now where is my MEG movie for fuck's sake? -
Jarv, did you just refer to that infant star of the 1987 film as a twat? Just remember MAMA MIA -- Highest grossing film in England's history!!
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just not a good cook.
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Also, his hat is like a shark's fin.
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95 percent of audience shat themselves when nurse walked by and killer walked up behind her with the head scissors.
Every movie needs head scissors, including an Edward Scissorhands sequel. -
Love when Stallone bench presses the dude in the cave and impales him.
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Cliffhanger, Cutthroat Island, Deep Blue Sea. The dude has put out so much entertainment, he can shit on Meg Ryan's face and project it onto Mt. Rushmore for the rest of his career and I'll pay to see it.
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to shit heels.
Also Leon's line before he died was great. "It's amazing in this day and age what a man will do for his bitch."
Now that is some great scriptwriting. -
That's greatest of all time, Jarv. The greatest of all time does not suck balls. Not unless he wants to.
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See, that was always going to be England's highest grossing film ever. We have an inexplicable attachment to Abba and the fucking musical has been selling out in London for about 10 fucking years. I am deeply ashamed of our little Island, but then I remember that we gave the world civilisation ("A bit more than a fucking hot dog"- chocolate sweetie whoever can name where that came from) so I think we can be excused things like this. And yes, I did refer to the utterly meritless drivel of 3 closet benders and a not quite dead abortion as 3 men and a twat. In fairness, it wasn't the baby's fault.
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Dec 17, 2008 9:25:51 AM CST
Dennis Franz was pretty much all Die Hard 2 had....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....he was bad ass in that role. And I never thought of it as bad. But thinking back, I would rewatch Die Hard Len Wiseman Strikes Back! again over DH2.....so thats saying something. Its just not very entertaining for some odd reason. How the fuck can that be?!
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Harlin is not.
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Have a remix and call it Deep Blue Cliffhanger Island.
Stallone tries to climb out of the Marianas Trench while battling Megalodons to retrieve the pirate's treasure, as they have his bitch as a hostage.
That movie would write itself. -
Either Alan Rickman or Jeremy Irons.
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it's a sequel so unworthy McTiernan tied himself in knots finding a title that could get around owning up to it existing. It's fucking terrible on every level.
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Warwick Davis springing out of a suitcase to battle McClain.
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ruined by Harlin's hackitude. (I like that film)I find that so annoying, because it started with the unpolished gold of a shane black script and he nearly fucked it up. Everything good in that movie can be put to Shane Black and everything bad to Harlin,
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Dec 17, 2008 9:33:35 AM CST
its interesting Renny was attached to Alien 3....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
A very early script treatment was written by science fiction author William Gibson (writer of the cult classic Neuromancer). At the time of his involvement, Sigourney Weaver "seemed doggedly unwilling to participate", so the main narrative focus became Hicks and Bishop. The version available on the Internet is, according to Gibson, "about thirty pages shorter than the version I turned in. It became the first of some thirty drafts, by a great many screenwriters, and none of mine was used (except for the idea, perhaps, of a bar-code tattoo)."[6]
In copies of Gibson's treatment, "chestbursters" erupt out of human hosts as in previous installments, and turn into "bigger, meaner, faster" Alien Warriors. However due to initial genetic modification experiments undertaken by the Biological Warfare division on the spacestation (Anchorpoint), the Aliens additionally exhibit a close proximity airborne virulent contagion. When exposed at close range, the victim, after a variable amount of time goes through "the Change" as Gibson calls it, and becomes a form of alien warrior. The suspense here being that the team does not know if anyone is infected until they find out when it is least expected. The process imagined by Gibson can be summarised as an involuntary change in the human's skeletal and muscular makeup below the skin, concluding with the newly formed Alien graphically tearing the flesh husk off of its body. The storyline for the film picked up after Aliens, as the Sulaco drifts into an area of space claimed by the "Union of Progressive People", due to a navigational error. The ship is boarded by people from the U.P.P, who are attacked by a facehugger, hiding in the entrails of Bishop's mangled body. The soldiers blast the facehugger into space and take Bishop with them for further study. The Sulaco then arrives at Anchorpoint a Company run spacestation/mall. A fire on the ship caused by remaining Aliens, puts Ripley into a coma. Hicks is left to investigate if the rumors are true that Weyland-Yutani are developing alien warriors, which they are. The U.P.P. is also doing the same thanks to Bishop. Eventually Anchorpoint and the U.P.P stations are overrun with the parasite and Hicks must team up with the survivors to destroy the aliens. The film ends with a teaser for Alien 4 in which Bishop suggest to Hicks that humans are united against a common enemy and they must track the aliens to their source and destroy them. The screenplay was very action oriented, containing 8 marine vs alien battle scenes whereas its predecessor James Cameron's contained only 2 such scenes. It also featured an extended cast with new characters and has a considerable following on the Internet. The producers, while liking certain parts, were unhappy with the screenplay. Gibson was asked to make rewrites with their new director, Renny Harlin, but declined citing various other commitments and "foot dragging on the producers part."[4] -
I know I'm going to get flamed for this but I watch Chuck (yes that too, Danny) and they had the guy who played Sgt. Powell playing the character Sgt. Powell this week during a hostage situation. And yes my friends, he was eating a fucking Twinkie. I nearly blew my load.
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I would much rather those two be making action films today, then the hacks we're stuck with. There are no fucking new action directors with balls anymore.
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I haven't seen that one in years, and I can hardly remember anything about it.Should I give it another go?
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Sheeeeeeeeet negro, thats all you had to say.
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If you liked it originally, you'll still like it. It hasn't lost much power. Its just as bad ass as it always was.
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Fucking Stallone in a muscle shirt on top of a mountain the whole time and never once has to worry about hypothermia? Sheeeeeeeeit.
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You don't get cold when you have a constant erection, don't you know that?
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For exactly the reason that node just used,
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was famously fucking awful. Fox were right to throw it out,
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Dec 17, 2008 9:45:19 AM CST
Cliffhanger's opening scene beats most entire movies
by chittychittygangbang
Yes, Franklin I would recommend watching it again.
The one thing that bothered me about Cliffhanger though..watch in the opening scene when they are trying to get a girl across a zip line to helicopter.
It looks like the old guy is laughing. I shit you not. -
which was also a stinking idea. Fox got a lot right with Alien 3.
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thingy. That's a top drawer stunt- and I don't think it was CGI,
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actually falls through ice into a frozen lake and two seconds later after warming his hands on his balls he's fine. Gotchya.
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Dec 17, 2008 9:50:46 AM CST
plane transit was totally practical....I remember that.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
And I'm a big fan of the Wood Planet, and the monks, and the lack of technology, and the fire in the corn-fields and all that shit. Alien 3 was great-- but that film would have been amazing as well. Probably a very similar tone to what we got with 3. People complain about the wood planet, but they accept the plastic planet Cameron gave us?
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Yep, that took big brass balls to do that stunt.
I wish I had the dvd to listen to commentary during some of the stunt work.
I also like when Travers got about an inch from Stallone's face and screamed "Fetch!!!!"
I wish he would have screamed "Felch!!!" instead and let it be in the dvd extras as a prank. -
Don't you know we are not allowed to question Him.
Blasphemy! -
Have you ever felt Stallone's balls? They are like a black-smiths's fucking forge. All the props for LOTR were tempered on those very testicles.
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Maybe I'll give Cliffhanger another go. It's on ITV2 about once a fortnight, so I shouldn't have to wait too long.
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just awful. They took the good bits of it- the fire, lack of weapons, monks but removed a lot of the stupidity.
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And I have to admit I have watched it twice.
Way better than MI:2 and it also has the same score during tense scenes as an episode of Lost.
Never realized that before.
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Nightmare on Elm Street 4 VS. Piranha 2 = Freddy wins!
Cliffhanger VS. Aliens = Stallone wins!
Long Kiss Goodnight VS. True Lies = Gina wins!
Cutthroat Island VS. T2 = Modine wins!
Deep Blue Sea VS. The Abyss = LL wins with a shark fin!
Concept art for Alien 3 VS. Titanic = Renny wins!
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The piranha's had motherfucking wings! Genius!
Maybe the sharks in Deep Blue Sea 2: Getting Deeper will have wings.
Sharks + wings = $$$ -
Nightmare > Piranha
Aliens > CliffhangerTerminator> Cutthroat Island Abyss>>>>>DBS LKG>Titanic Overall- cameron wins 3:2. -
Damn that is a tough one.
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Follows the adventures of Jack Brodie, a London thief with a temper and attitude, who possesses the power to steal a person's thoughts and physically takeover their identity before returning it tainted with his own evil deeds. But when Brodie is framed for a murder he did not commit and his son is kidnapped, he has to use all his powers in a revenge mission.
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...Stallone or Biehn? Lithgow or Resier? Hot ass dark haired honey in Cliffhanger or fake ass dyke trying to be tough?
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I forget her name, but she had that smoking-hot short hair look down.
If I was Stallone, I would have pressured scriptwriters and producers for her to be completely nude for the entire movie.
Including the outdoor in the snow and ice scenes. -
Dec 17, 2008 10:11:28 AM CST
I admire Danny's commitment to his Cameron hatred
by franklin t marmoset
He's nuts, clearly, but you have to respect a man with such a firm stance.
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I remember watching it in the cinema and the audience cheering when Sly clean and jerk'd the black guy into the stalactite. It was a good, ultra-violent moment.And Rooker was bad-ass in it as well."You want to kill me don't you? Well take a number and get in line!"
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Last night was the first time I really realized just how close the music was.
I am listening to ROAR! right now in his honor. -
I love Giacchino's new score for the Freighter folk. Great stuff. I can't believe some assfuck in the Lost TB tried to say giacchino lost score had slipped into self-parody. Bullshit. It gets better, more varied, and stranger every season. Just like the rest of the show.
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Dec 17, 2008 10:13:09 AM CST
What happened to Harlin's film about werewolves on the moon?
by franklin t marmoset
That seemed like it had the potential for much dumb fun, but nothing seems to have come of it.
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Strange, Harlin is a fraction of the director Cameron is.
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Dec 17, 2008 10:15:58 AM CST
I liked the soccer hooligan villian in Cliffhanger
by chittychittygangbang
You had the smart, sexy female villian.
Soccer hooligan villian.
Badass black villian.
Traitor villian turning against goverment villian.
Sneering traitor pilot villian.
Mastermind villian.
Gravity villian. -
If Harlin fucks that up I'm going to feed him his own kneecaps. Cuntflap.
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I amplify my hatred for your viewing pleasure. I don't really hate him that much. I just Aliens mainly. And the rest of his stuff is moderately good. I just don't think he deserves the accolades or dripping pre-cum off the head of ever TB'ers penis in anticipation of AVATAR. If True Lies were the exact same film, directed by D.J. Caruso-- it would not get the love.
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Ha! Genius!Harlins a spicy curry inspired stain on Camerons budgie smugglers.
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And he was in Eastenders for years. Which is prime cunty behaviour.
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On the moon?Where?
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I care for you guys, so I'll come clean right here-- this one time only. I do believe Cameron is a better director than Harlin. He showed that with The Abyss. Does that mean I want to watch that movie again? Fuck no. Unless I want to fall into a 6 month coma, I'll stay away. Cameron is more mature, and can handle actors. But that doesn't mean I think his body of films is better. I've had a hell of a lot more fun with Renny.
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I can't wait for Avatar.
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DJ Caruso would not make True Lies. Because it does not look exactly the same as another popular movie.
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I'm not a big fan of true lies. Bits of it are great, but all the shit with Jamie Lee Curtis as a stripper/ hooker/ whatever drag. Arnold rocks, though.
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While I do enjoy most of Cameron's work, I DO NOT give free passes to a movie just because a certian director helmed it.
I fucking hate when a trailer has "From the director of..." Just those few words will add a few million to the bottom line of movie.
Think of how many people were duped into Da Vinci Code just because Ron Howard directed it. -
Okay. I'm saying if you literally just replaced Cameron's title card with D.J. Caruso or Len Wiseman or McG, one of those guys for a social experiment. I guarantee the films would not get the love.
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Dec 17, 2008 10:23:24 AM CST
People were duped by the da vinci code...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
because people are fucking braindead retards.
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Think about it.
Lithgow would tell Stallone to do something and one of them would grab him, put a knife to his throat and repeat the order.
Then another would scream the same order at him again.
It was the villian order version of when people were lining up to slap that hysterical woman in Airplane! the movie. -
A person is smart. People are lemmings. Fucking lemmings!
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You can say that about a lot of films. If Die Hard 4 was directed by McTiernan, people wouldn't hate it so much. If X Men 3 was directed by Singer, people would still have been a bit disappointed, but they wouldn't HATE it.
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....that looked like Emma Thompson's wicked sister. She scared the fuck out of me. -
Dec 17, 2008 10:28:59 AM CST
See, everyone wants to see werewolves on the moon
by franklin t marmoset
I don't even understand how the concept would work - Are they werewolves all the time on the moon? And who would they attack? And how did they get to the moon in the first place? There are so many questions that we desperately need answered.Harlin should get his ass in gear and get on with this werewolves on the moon business right away. It is clearly a classic waiting to happen.
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I suppose there are plenty of people lining up to disagree with you about Cameron already, so I'll give it a miss.I hate queues.P.S. James Cameron is great.
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On the moon?So, would they be affected by the phases of the Earth - howl at a Full Earth?
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Would be like me on a planet composed of a giant breast.
Constant howling and panting while at full attention. -
but there werewolves, maybe they could be alien werewolves who crash land on the moon and change to alien werewolves once they left their ship. Something like this should have been made in the 70's with Doug McClure.
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Most directors don't have that power, and audiences love to say FUCK OFF to someone's string of success. Look how quick they said fuck off to McTiernan. If he did Die Hard 4, people may have hated it even more-- considering his work on 1 and 3. Same goes with Singer. People licked his balls for the X-Men films, and were quick to piss in his face with Superman Returns.
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Engquiring minds want to know the answers to these questions.Also, we demand to see werewolves fighting each other in low gravity.
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"That's one small step for man... One giant leap for... Wait... What's that? It looks like... Oh, shit... its a fucking werewolf! A werewolf on the moon! Houston, we have a fucking problem... Buzz! Get the fucking lunar module running! It's werewolves! What? How the fuck should i know? I don't know why there on the moon! Just get the fucking thing running, there's fucking werewolves on the moon!""aaaaaah!!!!"Opening credits role...
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Enquiring minds want to know the answers to these questions.Also, we demand to see werewolves fighting each other in low gravity.
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Danny is right, it's quite believable what Stallone goes through in the freezing temps. He's impervious. His balls have been known to stop speeding trains. Why one would require Stallone to whip out his twig and berries to stop a train is unknown, but well, there it is. Stallone's balls = train stoppers.
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make it happen!
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I feel there would ample opportunity for the sexy lesbian NASA crew who stumble upon the Moonwolves to be nekkid.
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Surely, that is just a film about dogs in space, which is not that interesting. Unless they are funny dogs.And if it's a werewolf film, there has to be a transformation. When do they transform? When it's a full Earth?
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This movie must be made immediately. Never mind bloody Avatar!
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The teaser could be exactly like that first Transformers teaser with the Mars rover video footage, just make it the moon. Its the jumpy video quality panning around the moonscape, and suddenly you hear a howl-- camera pans just as we spot a few quick frames of a wolf tearing the fuck out of the camera, and then BOOM!! SLAM CUT TO TITLE: LUNAR ....... FROM THE DIRECTOR OF DEEP BLUE SEA.......
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Dec 17, 2008 10:42:18 AM CST
Didn't they do a robot werewolf on mars flick...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
with Val Kilmer and Tom Sizemore?
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They happen to bring a silver-plated dildo, which proves handy as they battle horny werewolves.
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... in the style of 'Lifeforce.' In fact, Steve Railsback can be an alien werewolf, struggling with his humanity.
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but I'll gladly piss on Cameron for Titanic (which was dreadful), and Superman returns was so fucking awful that singer deserves the full Golden Shower treatment. Yuck.
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Steve's not got that much humanity because he's an alien werewolf...Should've thought that through...
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Perfect.
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Dec 17, 2008 10:45:56 AM CST
We're offering our services for free, Renny Harlin
by franklin t marmoset
(I assume Renny Harlin is reading this thread)JPT has offered up the perfectly good suggestion of naked astro-lesbians, so you had better be writing this shit down. get to work on that script, Renny Harlin!Also, please have this film out for next year, because I don't give a fuck about Watchmen.Thanks, Renny Harlin.Best wishes,Frank.
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on this on the other site. And I don't just want a summary, I want a couple of scenes thrown in there. I need to hear the cheesy dialog...
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there is a real demand for quality cinema like this.
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with a cast of nobodies and then like a WTF actor thrown in like Dustin Hoffman.
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as lesbiasn sneaks up behind werewolf and slams dildo up his ass.
At which point he throws his head back and howls...then dies of course. -
There could be like Moon Sharks. Deep Blue Crater.
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Hahahahaha...
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If I rent Werewolves on the moon, do I get red-flagged as a pervert? It would have lesbians, silver dildos and gore. A perfect candidate for perverts!
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Dec 17, 2008 10:51:27 AM CST
with the lesbian yelling "I wanna hear you bark like a dog!"
by just pillow talk
And then ramming the Coors Lite Can (Silver bullet) up the Moonwolve's ass.
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silver plated dildo? we're not making porn here. Fuck's sake. Insulting the integrity of shoddy cinema.
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Dustin Hoffman do a dramatic scene with a naked astro-lesbian, some kind of lunar werewolf, and Casper Van Dien.Come on, Renny Harlin! You can do it!
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A moon-based scientist has got to look suitably perplexed and say: "But we still don't know what we're dealing with here..."
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Dec 17, 2008 10:54:31 AM CST
this thing needs Lance Hendricks as KING OF THE WOLVES!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Doesn't that make it all nice-nice?Yes, there must be a vacated base where a crazy old scientist played by Dustin Hoffman has been hiding from the Moonwolves. Luckily the showers work so the Astro-lesbos can take a shower and do some "bonding" before investigating further.
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Make it so.
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It is time for me to go home and resist the urge to watch my Christmas present I bought for myself.If you could have the werewolves on the moon script finished by the time I come in for work tomorrow morning, that would be great.Cheers!
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Although I'm generally very grateful to Lance, I'm currently in a pisser with him for being in Alien V Predator. Therefore he's not allowed in such high quality stuff as Astrodykes v Werewolves on Moon.
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Awwwwww fuck. I can't touch that one man. I got priors.
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along with Jolene Blalock. Neither of them can act, but they look nice and have no qualmes about getting them out for the camera
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Fucking rotten day. Want booze.
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Christmas booze buying day today. Back at work tomorrow - ballsacks. Then I've only got 25th, 26th & 1st off, in work for the rest. Double ballsacks.
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Yeah-- she weirds me out. Her face is very fucked up. Someone put it best recently and said it looks like some quack surgeon used the leftover meat from Dolly Parton's tits and staple-gunned it to Jolene's face. She sorta looks like Bruce Campbell in Escape From L.A.
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Naaaw....the wolves just wear those compact oxygen systems in their nostrils with a convenient back-pack tank like the old folks who smoke too much.
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Star Trek TNG is blowin up on the tubes. First P Break now Heroes!!!! Hopefully someone will give the Captain a game show to host.
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Dec 17, 2008 11:37:15 AM CST
Renny Harlin -- Knee-deep in pussy since 1959.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
http://tinyurl.com/5nga45
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I like it. We're steering away from Alien Werewolves now, but I'm digging this new direction.
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...someone takes it up with them. Thats fucking awesome.
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WereMoon. Lunar Lycan..."Houston, we have a lycan..."
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A quiet POV inside the astronaut helmet where all we can hear is heavy breathing (like Sunshine) as he steps out onto the surface of the moon. We are slowly moving forward toward the line where the sun ends and the light turns to darkness. We hear a loud as howl and something comes charging straight at us on all fours, lunging on the front of the helmet and tearing the glass open like a rabid dog. This is all seen from an insane POV.
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Dec 17, 2008 11:51:50 AM CST
This could work folks! But only with the following..
by chittychittygangbang
Have Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward reprise their roles and have weregrabiods patroling the sandy moon surface.
Things look bleak as the last of the silver dildos has been used (both on a girl and a weregraboid), but just as Fred, Kevin and lesbians are about to be toast, a Chevy-powered lunar mobile comes flying over a jump and lands on top of one of the weregraboids.
The next is of the ground as a graboid-skin boot hits the surface.
The camera pans up to a mirrored helmet that slowly opens up to Burt Fucking Gummer as he says "Picked the wrong fucking moon to land on didn't ya!" -
what I wanted to see in Alien. The facehugger jumps onto Kane's faceplate - and that's fine. But I always want to see an astronaut POV as the fugger burns through the helmet.
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That close to the moon would make them invicible.
They wouldn't need oxygen or food. Just blood. Lesbian astronaut blood. -
Listen to the score in Confirmed Dead. The freighty score is prevalent throughout that episode. It's cool.
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Cool site.
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I suppose Ron Perlman has already been tapped to play the moon wolf who fights for the good guys?
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http://tinyurl.com/5fz4ps
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Broderick will fuck up a movie like he fucks up people with his car.
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when this lot started writing an alternate script for 2012.
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A fucking sequel!
At least they recast it. -
Dec 17, 2008 12:38:19 PM CST
Inspector Gadget vs the MoonWolves!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Directed by Renny Fuckin' Harlin!Make it happen.
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I think this is a much better subject to work with though.
I mean, werewolves on the moon! Brilliant! -
as the camera pans up to hairy Michael J Fox trying to slam-dunk a basketball through a hoop in a low grav environ.
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Thats fucked up yo.
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Dec 17, 2008 12:42:58 PM CST
Michael J. Fox vs. Jason Bateman for Teen Wolf title
by chittychittygangbang
Let them duke it out on the moon. Last one howling wins.
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Dec 17, 2008 12:44:19 PM CST
And it can end with a white suit clad J. Fox...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
doing a very slow motion "wolf dance" at the prom.
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is Gary Busey reprising his role from Silver Bullet as the crazy-ass uncle. He and Corey Haim together again. The plot centers arounds aa futuristic rehab clinic on the surface of the moon.
HOWLERS: CURSE OF THE MOON WOLF. -
That was a little harsh.
My bad. -
Dec 17, 2008 12:45:46 PM CST
uhhh yeah....recast Broderick with French Stewart?!!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Fuck that. I'll take Ferris.
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In fact, reprise his entire crew from Alien:Resurrection and let them stumble upon werewolves on their way to earth.
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Dec 17, 2008 12:48:31 PM CST
I've read about Broderick talking about that crash...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...he said it fucked him up for a long time. Poor Ferris. He shouldn't have let that monkey from Project X drive man. Never take a chimp to Ireland!
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Dec 17, 2008 12:49:20 PM CST
There would have to be a scene...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
where j. Fox surfs the roof of a lunar module to the tune of the beach boys..."Give me... a keg... of tang."
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Just make this thing a fucking prequel to Resurrection. The same crew, Winona, Michael fucking Wincott, Perlman, and that bad ass black dude that pimps it on CSI. Fuck yes!!
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Dec 17, 2008 12:49:57 PM CST
More annoying? French Stewart or Fran Dreshcer?
by chittychittygangbang
Dear God, imagine being trapped in an elevator with them as they started getting nervous and blabbing with coniptions.
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Dec 17, 2008 12:53:18 PM CST
Broderick... I didn't even know this happened...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Broderick told authorities he had no recollection of the crash and did not know why he was in the wrong lane. "I don't remember the day. I don't remember even getting up in the morning. I don't remember making my bed. What I first remember is waking up in the hospital, with a very strange feeling going on in my leg," he said at the time.Broderick was charged with causing death by dangerous driving and faced a prison term of up to five years. He was later convicted of the lesser charge of careless driving and fined £175. The victims' family called the case "a travesty of justice."Broderick agreed to meet with the family of the two women in the Spring of 2003 so that the family could gain some sense of closure on the accident. The Gallagher family say they host no hostile feelings toward Broderick anymore.
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By far the best part.
I lost interest when they killed the leader of the crew so early.
Ripley being in it ruined the movie for me as well. Who did she piss of at the studio for them to greenlight such a butcher job to her character.
Also don't get me started on that hunchback hybrid at the end of the movie. -
Thats true, I think the same movie minus Ripley would have rocked serious ass. I still like it....but it could have been better. A lot better.
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Dec 17, 2008 12:56:41 PM CST
I swear that thing at the end screeches "Mommy!"...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
as its getting sucked out of the window.
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...the look on the baby's face is so damn sad when it looks at Ripley expecting help, but realizing his mother is going to let him die. Amazing I can feel so bad for a hideous killing machine.
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Dec 17, 2008 1:03:15 PM CST
they got a lot of emotions out of those animatronic eyes...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...thinking back on it. That thing was able to show more emotion than most CG bullshit.
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How did you get involved with Iron Man 2?Cheadle: I got a phone call from my agent saying they were offering me the part. That was kind of it. It happened very fast, and I had a very short time to answer. Literally, overnight. I was unaware of what was happening with Terrence. And when they called me I asked what was going on with Terrence. I've worked with Terrence, I've known Terrence for a long time. And they said they were moving away from him. So it's not like I was taking Terrence's job, because the job was already gone. Someone else was going to do the part. I don't know who the next person in line was, but that's who they were going to. And I literally had a few hours to accept the job or not.
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Dec 17, 2008 1:08:06 PM CST
He'd probably prefer not to remember getting married
by rickey henderson
But that shit happened too. Dude married a horse.
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..not only is it hideous and bizarre-- but you're right, the eyes are indeed the gateway to the soul and they realized this. They made a creature we could feel for (some of us). Imagine that, after the first 3 films, after these things have been portrayed as mindless killing machines, they are able to make and alien/human hybrid that captures a little bit of humanity and emotion like yearning for acceptance from your mother. This was actually very well done.
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in the movie Bram Stoker's Dracula.
When the wolf was fucking that smoking hot redhead outside. That surprisingly erotic and one of the more lasting images I have of the movie. -
So underappreciated.
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At the same time I was thinking 'What the fuck' and 'Holy shit, why is this so arousing?'
Dear goodness I would have pile-driven that redhead until my penis glowed like the river of Mt. Doom. -
As a kid I remember seeing the scene where you can see Winona's tits through her nightgown and almost having a brain haemorrhage from the amount of information my poor little brain was trying to process.
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There are a lot of quick "What the fuck was that?" sort of images in that film. I felt the same way when the Vampire-Bitches have the baby. I saw it clearly.....but was sort of confused a second later. "Was that a baby?"
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Dec 17, 2008 1:19:16 PM CST
Big Vagina with a weiner laid in the middle of it
by chittychittygangbang
Hahahahahahahaha!
Reminds me of my prom night! -
Dec 17, 2008 1:19:39 PM CST
The redhead is Jude Laws ex-wife...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
then he moved onto Sienna Miller, then the nanny.
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After all, once you go Lycan, you'll always be likin'
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....especially when the pussy lips are smoking cigarettes.
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"Quick, Jude put on this bear suit and paint your dick red!"
I assume werewolf dick is like our dog's red rocket. -
Dec 17, 2008 1:24:35 PM CST
Big Vagina with a weiner laid in the middle of it
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Chitty's prom night? Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn. Thats how they roll in the dirty South.
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Rickey wasn't a fan. Pearlman and the rest of the gang form the ship were good, but Winona Ryder killed the movie for Rickey. Why was she even in the movie? The less said about the basketball scene the better. Why couldn't they just take a cue from Fincher's movie and just let the who series die off? What a total waste of talent (Joss Whedon's writing and Jean-Pierre Jeunet's directorial skills).
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http://tinyurl.com/6bnca9
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I can see it trying to run off from silver bullets while female is still hanging by the end of his dick.
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The decision was made to use CGI Aliens rather than puppets or suited actors whenever the creatures' legs were in frame, as Jeunet felt that a man in a suit is easy to distinguish when the full body is seen.
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either use one or the other.
When you use CGI and live action back-to-back it becomes easier to spot the difference.
Jurrasic Park III did do a good job with the Raptor transistion though. -
That was a guy in a suit and the effects hold up well to this very fucking day.
I read somewhere that Pumpkinhead wore tennis shoes for much of the movie. -
Teen Wolf doing the cheerleader in the locler room?
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Frizzel spent seven months writing and recording the score, which Jeunet requested to be very different and unique from the previous films in the series. This included themes of romance and eroticism, incorporating sound effects such as a gong and rub rod.
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....fine, see if you can seamlessly mix CG and practical. But if you're going for a lesser known company-- fuck no. Don't try it. If it is necessary, then make sure there is a large gap between approaches. Its deadly to cut straight from practical to weak CG and back to practical. At least put an insert reaction shot to mask it a bit.
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Now THAT sounds like my prom night!!
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I was gonna comment on The Dark Knight Returns comment Jarv made waaay up above, but i don't think I wanna follow the current conversation.
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DVD and turns out there is going to be a Wanted video game. Too bad its not for the Wii. Looks pretty bad ass. But what I really wanted to talk about was the preview for the new Beethoven movie. And how it looks like a complete remake of the first movie. I mean it has all the same gags, even the exact same shot. The scene where Charles Grodin walks into his bed room and sees Beethoven on the bed all nasty and muddy right before he shakes himself, same fucking scene except replace Charles with Jonathan Silverman. And the scene where David Duchovny is having lunch with someone and Beethoven is attached to the table and runs off. Same fucking shot in the new movie. Really why did they bother trying to pretend that after 6 fucking movies that they had something new? Why didn't they just say it was a reboot/re imagining of the series? Fucking Beethoven purest are going to be pissed about this.
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You ever read the early script of Alien 4? It got leaked and i bet I still have a copy somewhere, and there was a lot more crazier stuff. Like a scene where they are in some crazy ass field of giant Sunflowers with Aliens coming out of them as they are trying to drive away in a jeep. Plus the ending was much better, like they had to hunt the Alien down on Earth, and I think it got away. Which would have lead to an almost seemless transition to AVP. They could have set it up that Predators have made it their goal to hunt and kill Aliens and when they get notice that Aliens are on Earth they got to destroy them.
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DVD there is a long featurette about Caroline which is looking really bad ass. But then again Mirror Mask looked really cool till I saw it and realized that it was terrible. I hope its good. I am worried that after the previews I've just seen the best part of Mummy 3. Man I hope I enjoy this movie like I did the second one. The crazier the better.
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Joss Whedon helped with the Alien 4: Live Free or Die Hard script. Also with the Toy Story script?
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It looks like a weird hybrid. What the fuck is up with that? I hate that shit. Part of the magic of stop motion is the jerkiness. Corpse Bride fucking sucked balls partially because it looked like texture less CG as opposed to stop motion. Well....that was probably the least damaging thing about that turd.
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Meh. Too formulaic. It was like watching Mongolheart.
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Inspector Gadget, the dumbest youngest son from Arrested Development, who is also in Chuck. If he changed his voice around a little he would be a good Gadget. I can't believe I missed a Gadget conversation that is my all time favorite cartoon. Followed by Samurai Pizza Cats.
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Dec 17, 2008 2:15:40 PM CST
I read an early Whedon draft...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
that had a huge plantation field on the spaceship (I can't remember what it was a field of...) and also ended on earth. The baby was a huge spidery fucking thing and Ripley and Co killed it with a harvester. I read it about a year before Resurrection came out. It's very similar to the finished film, at least the first 2/3rds, including the underwater scene which read much better than it played.
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Really did suck balls. It was a poor mans anti Selick stop motion movie. I hated that movie, even some of the songs and characters looked like they were the Dreamworks version of a Pixar movie copy. But Caroline in all stop motion.
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yeah thats the same one I read, it was very close to the movie.
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Who was the killer in that movie? What actor I can't remember. That was a good Jolie serial killer movie unlike Taking Lives that movie sucked.
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It looks like cheap CG. I read an interview with Wes Anderson about the sea-creature work Sellick did for Life Aquatic. Wes was saying Sellick came back with this amazing footage that moved and looked totally real. He couldn't believe it was stop motion. So he told him to shoot it at a different frame rate or some shit to make it look jerkier. He understood that its not magical if its not old school. No one wants smooth realistic moving clay. We understand its not real life. What the fuck?
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http://tinyurl.com/3mts94Damn, you can anything on the internet!
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I know why I wanted to see that movie because I liked D.J. Caruso's the Salton Sea. Then I saw Taking Lives and Two For the Money and I was like, well Sea was a fluke. I've yet to see Rear Window 2 and Eagle Eye though. I know he is going to do Y: The Last Man, I want to read that comic.
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Dec 17, 2008 2:23:02 PM CST
oh cool. Thanks. I'll save it and read it in a few years.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Hellzzzzzzzzz yeah!!
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the main difference is the end, so just read that
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I knew who it was because as soon as i saw him i remembered his voice from the trailer.How fucked up is that?
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Seeing that that is pretty much the only script I've ever read. Well that and Pulp fiction. In England they have a movie section that is just the script in book form at most book stores.
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Dec 17, 2008 2:32:28 PM CST
DJ Caruso has never made his own film
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Every film is a pastiche of much better films.He's the ultimate homage artist.Pity he's fucking shit at it. Salton Sea was the only semi-interesting one he's done.
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That guy was crazy in Alien 4. What happen to that guy, he's been in a few other things. And yes that scene in Talking Lives is probatly the only good part.
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Dec 17, 2008 2:35:28 PM CST
Slow motion scenes of dogs shaking dry= doggy money shot
by chittychittygangbang
That is the dog-movie money shot right there.
Think about it. -
Only one I've ever read start to finish.
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Only one I've ever read start to finish.
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Dec 17, 2008 2:45:01 PM CST
Big Trouble in Little China 2 script?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
http://tinyurl.com/47nbku
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Hmmmm. I don't know how I should feel about that.
Just make sure to bring back Russell and everyone except Catrell (sp?) -
And I don't mean side-boob or glimpses of her ass.
I mean full nudity in all her glory. -
I'm watching Doomsday and, an hour in, it's fucking shit so far.
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Dec 17, 2008 2:58:20 PM CST
Original Sin is only watchable
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
because Jolie's naked half the time she's onscreen. I think that was her peak of hotness as well. I just saw Changeling and theres a scene where she gets hosed down in the shower of a nut house and she's fucking skin and bones.
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Dec 17, 2008 2:59:59 PM CST
Taking Lives was the most drunk I've been at a movie....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
.....I was at the Arclight here in L.A. which has a massive bar upstairs. We got completely shit-faced and wandered into the movie, sneaking in a few glasses of jack and coke, which you're not supposed to do. Anyway-- I don't remember a fucking thing except for laughing at inappropriate moments and screaming "RAIL THAT BITCH!!" often. Somewhere along the line I stood up and knocked over my glass, which shattered all over the floor. I turn to look at the audience and the movie just so happens to be nearly silent at that point and no one is even looking at me! What the fuck?! Anyway. Fun times. Its fun because everyone always raves about how great Arclight is because they'll throw you out if you're causing trouble. Bullshit. A person was standing in the theater the entire time just staring at me, not quite knowing how to approach a violent drunk. So from what I remember....the movie was amazing!!
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Thats right thats what I'm remembering him from. Where he is like, FUCK I FUCKING KILLED HER! I FUCKED HER. And he is just screaming fuck a lot.
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and that fucking thing would roll all the way to the front row.
We also went to the bait shop and bought a shitload of crickets and turned them loose in theater (and school classroom) as well. -
That movie is awesome!!! I'm 30 minutes into the Mummy three and nothing has happened and Encino Man has only been in like 5 minutes of it.
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...he was equally intense in Alien, screaming "GET THIS FUCKING THING OUT OF ME!!! GET THIS FUCKING THING OUT OF MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" Now THAT sounds like PROM NIGHT!!
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I can see the girl jerking her pelvis back and screaming "Wait a minute! That's what sex is?"
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Dec 17, 2008 3:08:08 PM CST
Maybe I'm not in the right mood for Doomsday.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Its just so stupid. I expected more after The Descent.The Mummy 3 is so badly directed it ruins any fun to be had.
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The mummy 3 seems like, Young Indiana Jones the movie, with the budget of the TV show. Though the tounge and cheek in the begining was funny especially how they introduced the Maggie Gyllenhaal character change. I'm just glad they didn't get a guy to play the role like they did in the Dark Knight. Though they could've gotten some British actress, seriously they are all over American TV???
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The difference is you were a kid I'm assuming. I was shattering whiskey tumblers up until I turned 25. But only in Ethan Hawke movies.
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Is number 4 in IMDB's greatest 250 movies of all time???? Really. Fucking gay.
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No no...it was me screaming "GET THIS FUCKING THING OUT OF MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"
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Sheesh. Well, I guess that stands to reason as it's one of my favorite movies of the year and how I continue to tear TDK a new one.I recommend reading scripts of movies you love. If you're able to remove all the images from the film as you read it, you sometimes come to the sad realization that the script sucks and the movie was only good because the crew was able to polish a turd.
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Yeah IMDB is like the retard lounge of the internet. I don't approve either. I would put it in the Top 50 of all time. But no number fucking 4!!
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But we really raised some hell.
I mean we would have honest-to-god brainstorming sessions on what shit we could pull and how to make it work.
It would make you shit if I told you some of the stunts we pulled. -
...thats as far as TDK gets. Maybe a strong #93.
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no fucking way.
I mean it was great movie in my opinion, but not top five of alltime.
Not even top five in crime drama or comicbook action. -
I will give it that.
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The Mummy 3 is a lot of retarded fun. Just need to lubricate your insides properly first.
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Dec 17, 2008 3:20:31 PM CST
oh I put it in Top 5 of both Crime/Drama and Comic films...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....but I put it way back overall.
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Maybe a Hydra movie would be cool.
Or that thing from Shogun Warriors that was shaped like a hand, but had dragon heads for fingers. -
Now THAT sounds like my PROM NIGHT!
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Dec 17, 2008 3:22:29 PM CST
I begged my prom date to lubricate my insides....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....I said, "Even doctors use lube, you heartless bitch."
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SAY WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I think I'm going to be ill.So who's doing what for Christmas?
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with KY jelly and placed it right over my anal canal.
Fire in the hole! -
Dec 17, 2008 3:25:14 PM CST
I like TDK better as a crime/drame than a comic film...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...I don't even think it had to be Batman. It could have been a generic masked vigilante. Would have been just as good.
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having a short memory. For some, every new movie they love becomes the BEST MOVIE EVER MADE. I have a friend who has relatively good taste, but after seeing Iron Man, he deemed it "one of my all time faves." I'm not sure how there is anything in IM(a good movie)that brings it to that status. TDK isn't even the best movie of the year IMO, but I can understand if someone feels that way. Overall, I wish the year had been stronger. I'm more interested in the new stuff I've yet to see.
I did just see Gran Torino, and let me just say, it's quite awesome. I'm not a huge fan of Clint's directorial work all the time, but he hit it home with this one. He's a grumpy, racist old Vet who really does goes full Dirty Harry in the film. It's alot more nuanced than it looks from the trailer, and actually alot more powerful too. It's the best acting work he's done in awhile. Really strong stuff. Probably make my top ten, but I'm still seeing stuff.
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Dec 17, 2008 3:26:12 PM CST
I also have Miami Vice in my Top 10 of all time...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...so my list is a little unique.
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Doomsday just went all Timeline on me! What the fuck is going on with this piece of shit!?
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I just fucking love that movie so much.
"What are you going to do with a tree that big?"
"Bend over and I will show you" -
and you have to take it as such. It is dumb, but I was never not entertained. I will say the medieval knight bit, while conceptually cool, sort of stalls the movie.
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I've seen Gran Torino and it's on my Top 5 of 2008 posted somewhere on this thread. It's a great film and Eastwood is really bloody good.
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I knew if i ranked TDK as MY # 4 all time film someone would make some snide comment about short term memory or "I guess you haven't seen that many films."
No. I'm 33 y.o. and i've seen probably 3 times as many films as a regular person my age and YES I would rank TDK as my fourth favorite film of all time. FAVORITE does not mean BEST. But i nthis case I think they're probably not mutually exclusive. that's how much I loved TDK.
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...but I think the fact that they marketed it as some seriously bad ass apocalyptic movie really hurt it. Everyone I know outside of AICN fucking despised it and said it wasn't fun at all-- just lame. I'll see it one day. If its anything like No Escape, I'll like it.
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Ha! I'm beginning to enjoy it now that they've found a fucking bentley and a box full of gps systems! So fucking dumb!"Nice colour!"
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I wasn't being snide. Calm down. I wasn't referring to you thinking it's #4. I'm fine with that. I saw The Fall recently and Wall-E and while they arent quite that high, they are among some of my favorite films, and they will no doubt continue to be. What I meant is that on a list like IMDB, as a group phenomena, it's being identified as "best movie ever" when Im not sure it's been around enough. I guess I confused the argument by bringing up my friend, but I used him as an example because he does that every year-always exclaims some movie his personal best, and a year later, it's "just ok."
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The Yeti scene and avalanche was pretty awesome. Much better then the xXx avalanche scene. I hope those Yeti's get there own spin off movie are sitcom.
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When Batman went bananas and kicked the shit out of a bunch of Jews, then teamed up with his sidekick Stalin Boy and rescued Chairman Mao from The Capitalist and Uncle Sam. Well, that was his fan edit.
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and that's exactly what I said to my wife when we saw the preview. "I wonder if it ends with Eastwood on the porch cleaning his gun and saying "Hello there, if you'd like to learn more about the Hmong people, visit your local Korea."
And it does go those places, but it gives the stereotype a full bodied character, and he really doesnt stop being racist. He keeps calling them swamp monkeys and stuff until the very end. It's really one more story about a man setting out to protect the community around him, and by extension find a purpose for himself. It's nice work. It really is. -
Sorta like DINOSAURS, except with people in Yeti suits. I can't wait for the episode when the older daughter Colleen goes to her Senior Prom. Comedy and sexual tensions ensue!!
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But i get it now. Doomsday is a spoof. It's so tongue-in-cheek its ridiculous.
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Means it's ahead of at least one of the following:Jaws, Raiders, Empire, Godfather 2, or Alien.Very interesting.
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That little guy we've been talking about from Seven and Alien Resurrection playing the guy in the holding cell that Joker puts the bomb inside. Imagine him rolling around on the floor screaming "GET THIS FUCKING THING OUT OF MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" KABOOOOM!!
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Add Big Trouble In Little China to that list as well.
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Will be two of my favorite movies of all times. Having seen TDK again on DVD when it came out, making that twice I'm pretty sure I can go a good 10 years without seeing it again. Also the Fall is one of my favorites, and will probably one of my favorites of all time. I saw it in theaters and rented it and watched it 3 times when I rented it. Oh and Wall-E is #34 of all time greatest movies on IMDB.
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It throws every imaginable racial slur at you. It really should be incredibly offensive, but the way the characters react and interact is really unique. Its a brilliant film.
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The hype will die down and the movie will slip a bit in the lists.
It's that fresh hype that rockets it up, but the truly great movies will stay there.
Rewatched Drving Miss Daisy not too long ago and it still blows me away.
Will rewatch TDK very soon and see how a repeat viewing goes. -
Dec 17, 2008 3:43:00 PM CST
is Doomsday really a spoof or is that just a way...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...to justify its existence? Because it looked pretty fucking serious in the trailers. Which is it?
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I have my own troll. Neat.
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Thank you for the Christmas card. I have been on in a long time during the same time as you.
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I dont think it evens make my top 10 of 2008, and if it does Joker is what squeeses it in.
IMDB is only good for getting cast info and such about movies and actors, and good quotes. Anything else on that site I never even bother to read. -
Jaws - it's ok. maybe top 20
Raiders - It's in my top ten Empire - top 5
Godfather 2 - overrated. 1st in top ten
Alien - top 15 -
No Country is #89, Iron Man is not on the list. Overall I would say that list is pretty decent. Minus the occasional brand new movie that gets a lot of hype. I mean City of God is in like the top 20. Fargo is #115.
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as an angry, bitter man who has is just latently racist Eastwood doesn't make it so schmaltzy. What happens between he and the family next door is what is likely to happen anytime someone finds themselves in someone else's orbit, and begins to be comforted by that presence. If anything it's more about Eastwood teaching the Hmong teens things, than the asians teaching him about his racism. They don't condone it, but they have long since moved beyond it because they see beyond his exterior and percieve something else is going on in there.
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he has a backstory that makes him different, but yes, it's very easy to pretend he's Harry. He is the logical extension of what Harry would be when got old, the result of living his life as he did. It's really a way for Eastwood to give us one more badass role. And I honestly think it was well worth it. It's a surprise to me, as I thought Eastwood had been softpeddling most of his work to us in recent years. Iwo Jima aside. That was brilliant.
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Dec 17, 2008 3:50:14 PM CST
the only Coen Bros film to get anywhere near my list....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....would be Hudsucker Proxy. The rest-- fuck off. DGDB hops in his 67 Plymouth Fury and tears ass outta here.
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Where is this troll?
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pulling up that tired anti-semite rant or whatever. He's no EggSalad that's for sure.
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MMMMMMMMMMM....HMMMMMMMMMMM......
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That movie is amazing. Its not a propaganda movie. Its just a movie. I feel that any hate towards pixar is almost just jealousy. If you remember the teaser for Wall-E, it was one of the original story ideas with Toy Story, Nemo and Monsters. To have been working on something close to 10 years or more and have it turn out so perfectly is amazing. Plus now it seems like the tide has turned on Pixar and now people want them to fail. I hope pixar never fails, all their movies are amazing. Hate Nemo for being annoying but the animation of it is quite amazing. And hate Cars for being boring, but the detail and history they put into that simple story is impressive as well. Do you think that the makers of Will Smith's fish movie went inside a dead whale to see what it really looked like?
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See Changeling and you won't think he's softpeddling. It's bleak, depressing and brutal. And brilliant.
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can't even remember the name of it.
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He's the only other person on this site that brings up that Holocaust TB from way back.....
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The Yetis rock. Great scene. Even the field goal.Node, if it's your #4 that's cool. I'm just razzing you over your rant the other day saying that I deserve every piece of garbage Rob Schneider movie the studios throw at me because I thought The Dark Knight was the worst written movie I've seen in a while. While I was entertained by stuff like Wanted and Iron Man, they stand no chance in hell of making my year end list. That's reserved for stuff of substance like The Visitor, Man on Wire, Slumdog Millionaire and In Bruges and The Fall. So I want quality movies as much as the next guy.Has Eastwood made a movie in the past two decades that wasn't a two hour stereotype? But aside from that Million Dollar Baby crap, he does cliche better than anyone.Doomsday is retarded crap but it is a ton of fun. Loved every insane minute of it.
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and kung-fu saw it and said it was good. I'll see it soon, and let you know.
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Dec 17, 2008 3:58:11 PM CST
"I feel that any hate towards pixar is almost just jealousy."
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Oh come on...what kind of blanket statement is that? If you DON'T like every Pixar movie, you're jealous? Really?
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When? Currently Slumdog is #1 for me.
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And praise actors for gaining weight for a role, or learning kung fu, that is the equivalent to what the animators at Pixar do. They are like character animators (like character actors not that they animate characters). For Ratatouille some of them worked in a french resturante in order to really get the feel down. And for the Incredibles some of them where actually given super powers by the government to see what it looked like. For Wall-E John Lasseter and Andrew Stanton actually made a time machine and traveled to the future to see what it would look like. Toy Story # 176 on IMDB, but number 1 in your hearts.
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Dec 17, 2008 4:01:19 PM CST
Coen Bros films are about as fun as marriage counseling
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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pretty much proves the newness of Dark Knight is what's ranking it so high.
I find the Bottom 100 much more interesting. There's a movie called Die hard Dracula? Sounds like a lot of real shit fun right there! -
I was being VERY general, but I really don't get how you can hate a Pixar movie. I just physically can't see it, I can see where you wouldn't like it that much. I mean even I left the theaters not thinking much about Finding Nemo (same with every other movie that came out that summer, what a bad year, but Huge hits?).
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Dec 17, 2008 4:04:51 PM CST
Series, I hope that fat ass Lasseter is paying you.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
You are the best P.R. guy they've got. And if they really said they went to French restaurants to research Ratatouille, thats sad. If those visits inspired the movie, then I never want to eat there-- because it is most likely a dull and uninspiring establishment.
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But CockSpaz makes more sense.
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I've been pausing Mummy 3 to suck off Pixar and read, so when I go to unpause all of the sudden there is a Three Headed Dragon and Encino Man has his shirt off? Was Rob trying to relive his gloryhole days of Dragon Heart? Does Brandon Frazer even realize he is doing a sequel to the Mummy? Because his character in Journey to the Center seemed more like his Mummy character then this guy. Also where'd the Yeti's go? They were getting close to having more screen time then Encino man.
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Nemo is the only Pixar film I actually "HATE." The other dull ones, like Ratatouille are just that...dull and pointless for me. I don't HATE them though. Albert Brooks and Ellen, and a script made up with the line "NEEEEEEEEEEEEMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" 745 times just puts me over the edge.
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Realize who he is? Why the fuck would you cast Jet Li in a movie where he is never umm a ass kicking person? Why didn't they just have the guy from the first one (don't remmeber his name, something with an A. He is going to be in G.I. Joe and was in one of the worst movies of all time Highlander Endgame) and say that some how some ancient Chinese guy resurrected the Mummy in China?
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
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While I wish I was getting paid because I'm fucking broke. But no. Though I did however in a bored quest for jobs went to their careers website and they have an opening that would totally work for me. It pisses me off, because while I'm here I just read about job after job that requires more experience then what I got. While there was a job over in CA at Pixar that was one I could actually do.
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Dec 17, 2008 4:13:31 PM CST
The best thing in Doomsday was Rhona Mitra's buttery ass.
by stuntcock mike
I could almost taste it.
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It's the only decent film Pixar has made.
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How is Jet Li's army going to rule the world? Wouldn't America just nuke there asses.
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Gran Torino was great. "We stacked fucks like you five feet high in Korea. Used you as sandbags." Jesus.
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Are those movies good?
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Fuck that. Lasseter can sacrifice half his weekly shipment of potato sald to pay you a decent wage. You NEED IN!!
Maybe they are like ILM was back in the day. In the 80s Lucas wanted to make sure none of the people coming in were Star Wars fans. He only wanted employees that didn't give a shit about him or the film themselves so they would leave him the fuck alone. -
it looked absolutely gorgeous but I fell asleep thru it. Twice. Still have to see Ratatouille, the 'rat wants to be a chef' story doesnt inspire me but some friends (ok they're both girls) just rave about it so much I'll have to give it a look. But I'm a little scared because the last thing one of them made me watch is the Spongebob Squarepants movie.....
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You liked it Hobo? Jesus Christ. Maybe you were tripping out after a 12 hour marathon of Young and the Restless episodes when you saw it. Its like an uncircumcised cock in Pixar's library. Snip that shit, throw it away, forget about it. It has no purpose.
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Dec 17, 2008 4:22:33 PM CST
I dont get why Ratatouille needed to be fully CG...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...it could have easily been like a Stuart Little with an animated mouse only. But going back to my James Cameron theory from earlier-- if it was a Stuart approach and the exact script were made by a different company, people would say it was fucking trash. Its that Pixar lamp that gets everyone horny. They are blinded from then on.
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You didn't like the Spongebob movie? I liked that to. Spongebob is the closest we'll get to Ren and Stimpy or Beavis and Butthead. Its essentially the trip to too stoners, or one stoner and he's overly nerdy friend.
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Ratatouille is the only pixar film that I would actually call a FILM and not insipid "family values" drivel.
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coming straight to dvd, that totally flew under the radar, I only know because I saw the poster in a videostore window earlier today, took me by complete surprise!
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but I had never seen an actual episode, so I wasnt prepared for the sheer level of craziness waiting for me, I kept going WTF?? I can totally admire the creativity involved there, but they kinda ruined it with the Hoff and the bastardization of the Twisted Sister classic I Wanna Rock.
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"That old bitch hates my ass!"And he says calls them fish heads! Seriously, it's amazing that he came off sympathetic.
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I fucking love when they cut to shots of real shit. Bizarre show, but great.
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So I'll give Rob Cohen one thing. He is the master of making bad ass end credits. How every he gets to do his credits are amazing. They are better then the movie. The end credits in xXx where amazing! These in the mummy where pretty good too. Overall I'm sorry the tounge and cheek they tried to add to this movie just didn't work for some reason. Made it feel lame, minus the goal sign the Yetis made to each other.
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When they show like a real sponge. That was great. Ok off to the mail box to give this back to netflicks.
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it's on youtube if anyone's interested, not that I think anyone should bother.... The first one was alright, saw it with my nieces last christmas vacation.
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That movie had a lot of heart
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she was probably nagging that she wanted him to finger her good!
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That's harsh. I thought it was a great movie right up until they went to the Axiom. When the people were introduced, they lost me.I love SpongeBob. I can watch it all day.
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Once Upon A Time In China 1 and 2 are fucking classics.The Jet Li vs. Donnie Yen fight in part 2 is one for the books. They're worth buying if you are a kung fu movie fa like me.
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(the 6th one I believe?)is my favorite, although I'll admit I remember very little about the other movies. But seeing Jet Li fight a bunch of natives was awesome.
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Never seen it. Looked really really bad. Is it Dreamworks? I did like Brother Bear though.
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Murphy And Labeouf For Batman
Eddie Murphy and Shia Labeouf have been lined up to star in the next Batman movie, according to reports.
The Beverly Hills Cop actor will star as The Riddler and Labeouf will play the caped crusader's sidekick Robin in the next instalment, tentatively titled Gotham.
Actress Rachel Weisz is reportedly in the frame to play Catwoman. Christian Bale will return as Bruce Wayne and Michael Caine will again play his assistant Alfred, according to British newspaper The Sun.
The movie, which is slated for a 2010 release, will be directed by Christopher Nolan, who made The Dark Knight such a huge success when it was released this year.
A source says, Chris wasn't sure if he wanted to do another movie but as soon as he decided to, he got the wheels in motion. Eddie's a fantastic addition. Everyone's excited to see what he does as the Riddler..
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I am still wiping tears from my eyes over that t shirt launcher crack.
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total Bullshit just meant to rile fanboys up and get hit counts.
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...finally they admit he is not a fucking butler in the Nolan films. Sorry but butlers don't fly around the fucking world pimpin' it in a private jet to pick fools up.
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....he acts like other websites are shit for posting false rumors for the purpose of traffic, yet he posts the false rumors for the purpose of traffic....but thats cool? And snide little remarks like "SEE WHAT I JUST DID THERE? I MADE SHIT UP." Uhhhh yeah. You're just coming off like a cocksucker. And name dropping Mickey Rourke for Batman just to sound like you know what the fuck you're talking about and jump on The Wrestler hype machine? Please stop posting.
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that the other sites put up, except he usually does it two days later. Maybe he's just having a cuntrash over not being the fastest rumor breaker around the internet anymore.
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I actually thought the headline was a joke. But he is doing the same thing Mori did. Complaining about fake news, then supporting it - and benefitting from it, in next breath.
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AICN EXCLUSIVES! Which is usually a lobby card for a movie you have never heard of and will never see. Look guys the first 9 chapters of some tween novel! Look a dumb girl talking about scripts that you could just find on youtube! Oh well, my baby comes home tomorrow, so pooh on Harry for his feigned outrage, and same to Mori for his talkback hatred. Good luck on DixFlix
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but he'll sure feign love for something, no matter how much of a piece of shit it is, if it means his wife and advertisers will lick his balls.
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How is your wife?
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The story did seem like BS but since TDK is on a permanant loop discussion around here, I thought I'd throw that artical up. I did not know about Harry's post.I figured since THE BEEF was mentioned I figured it would rile up people. I sort of like like the Eddie Murphy idea, it sounds like it could be an interesting casting choice.Rachel Weize can't be in the next flying rodent hero movie because she is currently starring in my special "private time" movies.It does seem a little strange that Harry is getting up in arms over the flying rodent movie rumors since AICN has posted reams of discredited rumors over the years.
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It is a a tad bit hypocritical. And you are right, Dark Knight is a permanent discussion point 'round these here parts. I outta here for the night. Y'all take care hoss.
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His young'uns name is Olivia Rose. That's a very nice name if you ask me. Kloipy, I know I already emailed you when you announced the birth, but again, congradulations.
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Thanks again man!
Toad, the wife is doing good, she's just ready to have the baby home too. It's been a long week for the both of us so it will be a good day tomorrow and we will finally feel like we can breath again -
It's nice to hear that Olivia is coming home today and that things are well for everbody.
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If you went to the TWBB web site, one of the first three critical postings is one from a Harry review. So maybe the best movie of last year didn't win the Oscar, but it at least was recognized. I've seen more and more AICN quotes recently.
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cited as being created by Harry Knowles. I think he is thanked in the credits, and Eli Roth was hitting the geek shows telling everyone that Harry pretty much created the idea. Though Harry down played his involvement.
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I believe
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Anyone watch that show? Much better then Heroes. Though Heroes is having its best season ever. On Chuck Monday, they had Henry (Michael Rooker) the nerdy Alien from Galaxy Quest and Sergeant Al from Die Hard (Reginald VelJohnson) AS AS!!! a cop. Seriously is Die Hard not the best movie ever (#121 on IMDB's perfect list of best movies ever) and it was fucking nominated for 4 Oscars? Got its ass kicked by Who Framed Roger Rabbit though.
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I figured it out because he was one of those guys that only cared about movies that EW or Rotten Tomatoes told him were good, and thought that AICN was just some nerd geek website that no real movies actually care about. So I saw the TWBB web site and then he realized that more people care about this web site then he realized.
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Dec 18, 2008 12:14:29 AM CST
AV CLUB TOP 10 Films of the year.....most interesting list i've
by dannyglovers_dickblood
1. WALL-E (dir. Andrew Stanton)
2. Rachel Getting Married (dir. Jonathan Demme)
3. Synecdoche, New York (dir. Charlie Kaufman)
4. The Dark Knight (dir. Christopher Nolan)
5. Milk (dir. Gus Van Sant)
6. Paranoid Park (dir. Gus Van Sant)
7. 4 Months, 3 Weeks And 2 Days (dir. Cristian Mungiu)
8. Man On Wire (dir. James Marsh)
9. Wendy And Lucy (dir. Kelly Reichardt)
10. Surfwise (dir. Doug Pray) -
Anyone else seen that? I saw it, it was ok but I didn't think it was the greatest movie ever? I thought Bigger Faster Stronger was a better documentary. Like I get that they wanted to talk about how they did it and that they did it, but shit was just WAY glossed over and it wasn't always clear who was doing what and who was involved.
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an 80s movie, more of a 90s one. And I keep thinking that Roger Rabbit is older than it is. Memory can be a very stupid thing sometimes.
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it's a nice stunt and everything, but I absolutely dont care about what went on in making it happen.
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"Harry, I know why you are so overweight: you are soooo full of shit! How about you stop treating us like shit and do your job? We want the dvd section every week and on time, get it!? Enough of your bullshit!"
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Good one, is that from the Batman rumors thread? A lot of people are calling Harry out on his bullshit over there...
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...The Father Geek BNAT review.
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The DVD section is probably the most useful section on the site right now. Save for IEC.
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It's not in the top 10, and I dont read any of the BNAT crap, so I didnt notice the Father Geek title. Like I give a damn what they all did in his little useless festival of crap 20 minute movie previews.
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then we'll talk about 'most bizarre' movie. Well maybe not bizarre, but creepy fucked up piece of shit movie.
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for not having the dvd article, and his 'might be out for a week and a half' sounds more like he's just taking the holidays off from making any effort to write.
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a movie I'd enjoy watching in any way, if everything I keep hearing about it is any indication.
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Dec 18, 2008 1:07:05 AM CST
HOLY FUCK-- KEITH DAVID KEITH voices THE CAT in CORALINE!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
I just watched trailer. That movie looks pretty cool. It looks like a better version of Pan's Labrynth. I just want Sellick to give the fucking finger to Burton with that Corpse Bride bullshit. Fuck that.
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There was no reason to do Corpse Bride without Selick. I wonder if he was even asked and he didn't want to do it because it sucked, or Burton thought that he was good enough to do it himself?
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I think I found out about this somewhere on here or another thread. But just watch this short film by the guy who made Kung Fu Panda. The movie is called More, its pretty cool check it out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8aFxk0aUuU
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Having seen the glory of Blade II at the weekend, there was this nagging itch in my brain saying, "Why don't you try Blade 3 again? Why don't you try Blade 3 again?"So I tried Blade 3 again, and... well... I have to admit... it's still a piece of shit.It actually starts out pretty well, but as soon as the coppers catch Blade the whole thing falls apart. And those fucking Nightstalkers, Jesus Christ. I have nothing against Reynolds or Biel, but I come to a Blade film to watch Blade, not a muscular funny guy and a muscular hot bird. They may be funny and hot, but they are not Blade. They have no opinions on motherfuckers always trying to ice skate uphill.Stupid.Anyway, good morning to anyone who is here.
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Am I going to have to have one of those mornings where I ramble on and on to myself about a bunch of garbage?
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So I'll ramble about Blade.I read somewhere David Goyer's original idea for Blade 3 was to set it in the near future, with nothing but vampires and Blade left on Earth. How cool would that have been (assuming the vampires in the near future are not Parker Posey or Triple H)? It could have been like I Am Legend, but instead of an asshole (like in the book) or Vincent Price or Charlton Heston or Fresh Prince (like in the films), it would have been Blade. And Blade beats all those other options because A) Blade is cool, and B) Blade has a sword. And a spinny knife thingy. And a cool car.I wish they had made that version of Blade 3.Here is an idea: Barrack Obama, as his first order of business on 20 January 2009, decides to sort out this whole mess with Wesley Snipes not paying his taxes. President Obama's solution? he issues a Presidential mandate commanding Wesley Snipes to make Blade Motherfucking 4, and it has to be the I Am Legend version, and David Goyer can be involved with the writing but is not allowed to direct. Ideally, Obama would demand that Guillermo Del Toro returns, but he's busy with that Hobbit thing and there'll be a geek uprising if he meeses with that. Instead, maybe he gets Stephen Norrington back, or, in a pinch, Alex Proyas could do it.This is a perfectly reasonable solution, I reckon, and would save Snipes from prison time or having to pay back a whole shitload of money.Come on, President Obama, don't let us down!
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So his first act as Commander in Chief is to throw a washed up actor and a never was director a lifeline?I watched Doomsday last night and I made my feelings known above. It's about three films in one, and none of them go together. It's a mess. And I'm assuming it's a spoof, because Neil Marshall could not be insane enough to think it would work as a straight action thriller.And I tried to redeem my viewing night by chucking on The Shadow, but fell asleep half way through! It was after midnight though and I needed my beauty sleep.
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Dropped you an email, but we got everything! I watched the Hulk last night, and it destroys Ang Lee's piss poor version, and Wall-E. I stand corrected about Wall-E: It's delightful. Really, really nice.
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and don't get me started on the fucking lame ass villain. And no, Reynolds is not allowed any opinion whatsoever on motherfucker's ice skating abilities. Nor is biel.
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Although I am a little disappointed, because I had other Blade-related stuff to go on about.And yes, droid, that seems like worthy work for a President.And yes, New Hulk tastes much better than Classic Hulk.
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It's Hulk for morons.Fuck Letterier.Fuck NortonFuck RothFuck TylerFuck Everyone involved in that piece of shit.And FUCK Banner abstaining from nailing Tyler for to provide the film with a shitty little comedic moment.FUCK THE INCREDIBLE HULK!
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Dec 18, 2008 4:02:48 AM CST
Addendum to Presidential Mandate 1 (Operation Blade Motherfuckin
by franklin t marmoset
If at all possible, I would like President Obama to insist that Goyer write the hot brunette from Blade: The Series into Blade Motherfucking 4. It could be the same character or a different character, I don't mind. It is mostly her tits I am interested in.Great tits.
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Dec 18, 2008 4:04:06 AM CST
Presidential Mandate 1 (Operation Blade Motherfucking 4)
by franklin t marmoset
Bollocks.
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No, not really, I am too Christmassy to argue, but I liked The Incredible Hulk and I like Louis Leterrier.The former was the kind of good clean dumb fun I wanted from a Hulk film, and the latter is one of the few directors these days who does well with unselfconscious, fun for fun's sake action films. Not enough people do those any more.
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Wow. I am definitely watching Wall E this weekend. If it is able to make even Jarv use a word like delightful to describe it (rather than fuck or cunt or fuckcunt), then it must be pretty fuckcunting delightful.
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Dec 18, 2008 4:38:25 AM CST
Has the definition of delightful changed?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Does it now mean cuntflaps? I'm going to look it up in the dictionary.
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You can have fun action films, but TIH wasn't fun. It was stupid and boring.
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Dec 18, 2008 4:45:34 AM CST
Dictionary definition of "Delightful"
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
de·light·ful (d-ltfl)
adj.
1. Anatomy
a. The passage leading from the opening of the vulva to the cervix of the uterus in female mammals.
b. A similar part in some invertebrates.
2. Botany A sheathlike structure, such as the leaf of a grass that surrounds a stem. -
If you're using Jarv's dictionary, pretty much everything means cuntflaps.
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I don't LOL very often, but that is LOLworthy, droid.
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It's not up there with his best, but a new Vern review is always a treat, so check it out.
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Dec 18, 2008 5:12:12 AM CST
Seagal vs Vampires, yes. But where is....
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Werewolves on the moon!?And Seagal shoehorned into a space suit battling moon wolves is a film I want to see!I bet even while wearing a space suit in a zero gravity environment, his forearms would still flurry about at lighting speed.
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Diff between lesbian sex and werewolf sex is that a werewolf would cause full-body rug burns. ;p
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It was okay. My whole problem was that I found Carradine uninteresting and Harvey was a non-entity. Nothing in their lives interested me. Ah well.
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Jarv liked both The Incredible Hulk AND Wall*E? Can somebody sitting by a window check to see if the shy is dripping blood or zombies are walking the earth.Glad to be of service, Jarv. Nice to have you in a position to join our Hulk and Wall*E conversations now.
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And I loved Doomsday. My hopes were raised when she took her eyeball out and rolled it down the hall in the beginning.
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If Jarv is the one saying 'delightful' today, someone clearly needs to pick up the cuntflap slack.Jesus, what a foul image. Picking up the cuntflap slack. Ew.
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Much more so than Valkyrie.
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Thank Christ. It's been too quiet in here today.
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Sleep is overrated ya cunts!
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There is nothing redeeming about that movie.
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But Blade II is blessed with awesome super powers, one of which is to make you think maybe Blade III is worth another look.But it's not. It's not worth another look.Also, there was bugger all on the telly last night, and it at least helped me not watch Hellboy and Hellboy II, which I am saving for a double feature when I'm hungover and can't be assed to get out of bed on New Year's Day.
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Dec 18, 2008 7:43:38 AM CST
Blade II is indeed magical, but it's not a miracle worker
by just pillow talk
I'm quite giddy to rewatch TDK after Christmas, along with the "delightful" Incredible Hulk. I know Jarv used it to describe Wall-E, but hence forth every positive reviewed movie by Jarv will be know simply as "delightful". In Bruges was a delightful movie with a racist dwarf and a delightful cunt filled conversation with Harry and Ken.
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Dec 18, 2008 7:45:16 AM CST
Astro-lesbians vs. Moon Werewolves would be a delight
by just pillow talk
One that gives you a slap and a tickle and does not require a dinner.
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He came in for a bit and nicked off again.Finally fired for his foul-mouthed, perpetually hungover and/or sick, internet-abusing ways?I hope not. That would not make for a very delightful Christmas at the Jarv family household.
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Dec 18, 2008 8:13:04 AM CST
I wish I could call my boss a "Delight"...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
and get away with it!
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Hey Boss, you're a mutha-fucking delight!
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Early knock-off on account of office Christmas doo and whatnot.See you tomorrow, when I will be the one with the hangover. I'm interested to see how my LoS will be affected by the hangover. There's a chance I may say cuntflaps a lot.
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Later Frankie.
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That TIH rant made me tear up a bit. (sniff)
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I love The Onion but those guys are pretentious assholes. Wall-E? Fuck off. Now I have to see the shit. nice to see 4 months getting recognized. That's the abortion film right? Fuck me that was good. I thought that came out last year though.
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Sorry, mate. It was this mornings pre-coffee rant (along with one on the Batman rumour TB). It may be a bit harsh, but I think Lee's Hulk is a very good movie, and i thought the new one wasn't very good in comparison.
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I really like that site. Its probably my favorite entertainment sort of site other than this and dark horizons. But this is just for TB, DH is for actual scoop and AV is for good commentary. They have great write ups on music. And their special features are very fun. They have really cool feature pieces like THE NEW CULT CANON, Or BETTER LATE THEN NEVER-- which Quint sort of ripped off with his Movie A Day thing to fill in gaps in his film knowledge. I like they how approach films from a more ordinary viewer sort of way. I get so fucking sick of this GEEK shit here. "WE'RE ALL GEEKS, JON FAVREAU IS AMAZING CAUSE HE IS A GEEK, JOHN LASSETER IS A TOTAL GEEK!! WE ALL GEEKED OUT TOGETHER OVER OLD KING KONG POSTERS!! BLA BLA BLA BLA...." Oh fuck yourself. Talk about the fucking film. Jesus Christ. And AV Club doesn't have any industry connections or claim to be in the know or name drop personal calls from James Cameron. They just talk about fucking films. No bullshit.
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Frenchie Hulk = Fun, stupid movie Tim Roth should try acting next time. Tony Scott pissed his fucking pants when he saw the Man On Fire opening. He screamed "FUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOU SARKOZY!!!"
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I'm off for until the 8thwill finish thing for z-drive, and catch up on other writing.May check in tomorrow.Have a great chirstmas etc.Ciao.
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I know you jest, but please, no mas.
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Aronofsky's answer to whether Robocop is his next film: I hope so. I keep getting close, but then I get the opportunity to make something I can pretty much be in complete control of. So it’s a hard opportunity to pass up, and that right big film hasn’t been there at the right time. I enjoyed my collaboration in Hollywood with The Fountain. You’ve got a lot of really smart people there that have a lot of experience in film, you can get a lot out of that, so I’m still looking for the chance to do it. Robocop’s not a script yet; hopefully it’ll be a great script and we’ll go make it.
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De-fucking-lightful!
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I just want to prepare myself for what I'm in store for....
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Seems to me he's trying to get out of it. At the very least, he's waiting until they have a good script which is good.
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Ya lucky delight!
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Dec 18, 2008 9:41:58 AM CST
I think its more preposterous to have Steve Keaton...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...on your list of all time bad asses, than it is to say Ang Hulk is a masterpiece. Should we also include Alan Alda? He was pretty ruthless in The Aviator.
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Its shit. It took me two go's to watch it. It's shit and boring. And it's so falsely "bad-ass" it's embarrassing.
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the same as saying Lee's Hulk is a masterpiece. Four movies of slaying graboids puts him firmly in the CoC.
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Dec 18, 2008 9:44:59 AM CST
Instead of Street Kings... re-watch...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Colors or Dark Blue. IMHO.
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But if I can sit through Pistol Whipped, I'm sure I can sit through this. I hope.
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...doesn't Keanu say "Yo homies!" or some shit when he confronts some thugs?
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I shouldn't discourage you from watching it... Street Kings does serve a purpose and that is to allow us to better appreciate other, similar films.
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Dec 18, 2008 9:53:27 AM CST
whats funny is I've never told someone to stop with their opinio
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....on a film. Yet I get I get labeled the one who shits on everyone's taste. I'll argue a movie for hours, but I would never tell someone to stop liking something.
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Regardless, since it's coming via netflix, I'll still give it a whirl.
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It had one interesting scene with Keanu in a room full of worthless rappers and comedians passing themselves off as drug dealers and Cedric gets capped. Common or Ludacris or Nelly or some other worthless bum gets whacked too. It's an intense scene with some nice brain splatter. Sadly, it's the only scene worth a damn in the entire movie. Avoid, avoid, avoid.
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I told you to stop proclaiming it a masterpiece, which is hogwash, and clearly meant to get the anti-Lee group going yet again, which I admit I fell for. It is merely an average movie for which somethings work, but most did not.
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.....to get someone to say "No its not-- mutant dogs suck!! Fuck Ang-Ree!!" I've heard that same shit a thousand times. Its not fun anymore. The argument has been beat to death. I would have been perfectly content with not a single response. But since this site exists soley for people to be vocal about their opinions, thats what I do. Hulk was brought up and I posted my opinion. It is a masterpiece of the comic genre in my opinion. Norton Hulk was made for 10 year olds and they loved it. I like both films.
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THE SHADOW KNOWS!!!MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!
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I think it's a pretty cool concept and that scene was awesome. Hulk. Bashes. One's. Testicles. To Goo. It's awesome.
But the fucking dickheads on this site act like seeing them was akin to having their mother raped before their eyes. -
It's pretty brutal. And I liked stinky, greasy Nolte sending the dogs after them.
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...and why I can like it so much but not really as a Batman film. I think the reason for that is because I don't believe a guy would dress up like a bat in the world Nolan created. For me, it just doesn't mesh well. I think it has to do with the real world approach to the technology and functionality of the suit and all that. In that sort of world-- a guy would just dress up in tactical SWAT gear and look like a ninja. I don't believe he would wear a mask with horns and a cape. And TDK made me realize this more because The Joker fits in that world. I believe some nutcase would dye his hair green and smear make-up on his face. That fits. There is just no reason for Bruce to have horns and a cape. Of course-- if they went with that approach, they wouldn't have any asses in seats.
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The big pit bull was one thing, but that monster poodle freaked me out.
I met a girl one time that told me she had a poodle. That was fine I thought, a little ankle biter to pet.
But no, she had a Standard Poodle.
That fucker was huge. Nice, but just really fucking big. I didn't realize they got that big and had readjust my poodle perception. -
...giant mutant dogs are probably the scariest beast that can exist. Dogs can get fucking crazy.
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Get a house cat revved up and you better get ready for some flesh wounds and stitches.
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Dec 18, 2008 12:17:52 PM CST
this seals it...I'm seeing Punisher tomorrow night!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Comedian Patton Oswalt's review...
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PUNISHER: WAR ZONE is THE BEST time I've had at the movies this year. I've seen better films. MUCH better films. SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE, THE DARK KNIGHT, LET THE RIGHT ONE IN and RACHEL GETTING MARRIED I'm sure, someday, will influence my work and make me think twice before I let slide something hack-y and un-original.
But I didn't ever feel like standing up on my chair and cheering. None of them made me cackle like a railyard hobo who's found half a cigar and a can of beans. And none of them had a scene where Dominic West, in Frankenstein makeup, convinces black, Chinese and Irish gangs to put aside their differences and act as cannon-fodder in his hissy fit vengeance scheme against Frank Castle, aka The Punisher.
People are not shot in this film. They have holes blasted through them or are turned into sticky mist.
People are not punched in this film. They have their faces pummeled off.
Children are not threatened. They are un-fixably scarred for life.
The film does not contain a hero. It does not contain an anti-hero. It contains a glowering Brit who huffs around in a bullet-proof body canister like he's searching for the perfect toilet to unleash a ten burrito dump. He's just as awful as the villains he dispatches and, unlike scores of other action heroes, does not utter a single clever or ironic quip. He'll plug someone and already be turning away, scanning the horizon for something else to kill. He's played by Ray Stevenson, but could have easily been played by Ray Stevens. He's more a force of destruction than Jason Vorhees or Michael Meyers could ever dream on.
Keep in mind, all of this mayhem, insanity and just-plain bugfuckedness is contained in one of the most beautifully shot films I've seen this year. It's almost distracting, how gorgeous cinematographer Steve Gainer's palette is. It's like he studied BLACK NARCISSUS and THE RED SHOES right before shooting a snuff film.
And director Lexi Alexander, a former stunt woman and kick boxing champion, has just groin-punched her way to the front of the line in the Nutball Director's Pantheon. Make room, Miike! Step aside, Kounen!
PUNISHER: WAR ZONE is still in theaters. Barely. It took ten days for it to body-crawl past 7 million dollars.
Won't you make a pasty shut-ins Christmas dreams come true? Won't you call up an old friend, perhaps an unhinged asshole you've been avoiding , and take them to see PUNISHER: WAR ZONE? Or maybe the whole family, while you're still digesting Christmas dinner? How amazing would it be if PUNISHER: WAR ZONE rallied, and beat MARLEY AND ME and BENJAMIN BUTTON on Christmas Day?
It'd help an angel get his wings, I bet. -
Spitting and cussing like Christian Bale as it rides me!!
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Crazy silly shit. And fun.
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...but I've been meaning to. I gotta catch it before its out of the fucking theater.
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Not that they were dogs per se, but more the choice of a poodle, which looked like crap to me, and that scene went on way too long. I know Lee wanted to change it up a bit, but I think he did a much better job with the helicopter scene in the desert. Though I'm sure if The Incredible Hulk had Hulk dogs you wouldn't think it was for ten year olds. But enough of the Hulk, here's a real Hulk snowdog...(long video, but you'll get the idea right away)http://www.dogwork.com/dogsnow/
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and our astro-lesbians will come across a hidden moon cave where there's a 1979 VW beetle.
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What do you mean by that? I do think IH is for 10 year olds. Wouldn't Hulk fighting dogs make it even more childish? So then it would be for 9 year olds? I don't get that statement.
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I thought one of the main problems with street Kings was that Neo was real inconsisitant with playing the lead character. That being said, I recently rewatched Street Kings again, and damn it, The movie sort of grew on me. Even though I'm pissed that there was a great crooked cop movie in that flick that they missed putting out.
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Dec 18, 2008 12:50:29 PM CST
"Norton Hulk was made for 10 year olds and they loved it."
by just pillow talk
So by that statement it seems like you think Lee's Hulk is a more mature movie, even with the Hulk dogs, that's all. Me, I didn't see a more mature take on the Hulk with Lee's, having daddy issues doesn't make it more mature. Especially with Nolte's performance, which I found laughable. Not that I'm trying to defend The Incredible Hulk, so I guess I should just shut up now. I haven't seen it yet, so I really can't compare the two. Who knows, I may actually prefer Lee's over Norton's. *shudder*
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Well, I think Street Kings will only have one shot with me. I just hope it's not horrible. Like in an excruciating way, but your post gives me the slight hope that I'll make it through the movie.
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I watched Machine Girl drunk and had a great time.
If it approches that level of silly fun, then sign me up. -
I hope you got his mailing address Danny, he deserves at least two Christmas cards....
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AAAWWWWWW FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!! Daddy issues don't make the film more mature. But a back-story where the root of a comic character's insanity is a memory of watching a butcher knife go through his mom's chest does. And that amazes me when people complain about Nolte. I just don't get it. He should have been nominated for that role. It was raw, heartbreaking, and you were literally watching someone with a serious drug problem just crumble on screen.
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...I love it when people tell me I've been annoying them for years. And I'm like uhhhh...I've only had this handle for 11 months.
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Heartbreaking in the sense that I used to like Nolte, but I definitely didn't like him in that role. Thinking about it....Josh Lucas annoyed the fuck out of me too. Dude gets tossed around by the Hulk and lives.
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and they seem to be quite easily annoyed. (funny books, and I laughed out loud when you wrote "The Watchmen", hoping to spur him on more)
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...he needs to go back to selling used cars. And I love that comic book guy sentiment that unless you've read the comics-- you have no fucking right to say a damn thing about a film based on a comic.
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...right fucking now. Give him some random broke down detective role and he'll nail it. Fuck Eastwood for casting himself in Gran Turino-- he should have done the right thing and hired Nolte.
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Dec 18, 2008 1:14:31 PM CST
holy shit...Nolte's new film sounds like Mortal Kombat!!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
DEATH WARRIOR
Five of the best mixed martial arts champions from around the world are forced to play a deadly game, a game to the death. --------- Hehehehe. Does Nolte fight in this or is he the Shang Tsung type who yells "FINISH HIM!!" -
away the mat clean from blood.
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consecutive movies put out as an actor?I was thinking about this, and I had to double check to make sure they all came out one right after another, but Harrison Ford:1980 - Empire1981 - Raider1982 - Blade Runner1983 - Jedi1984 - Temple 1985 - WitnessVarying degrees of box office success, but fuck, that's a nice little string he put together. Someone else must have some sort of similar streak...
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I know Harrison is the #1 grossing actor of all time. But fuck...what about Tom Hanks? in order... SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE
PHILADELPHIA
FORREST GUMP
APOLLO 13 TOY STORY SAVING PRIVATE RYAN -
From IMDb. My man enjoy this:Indiana Jones Comeback Tops Blunders PollIndiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull has topped a new poll of this year's most gaffe-prone movies - with a staggering 64 continuity blunders.
Harrison Ford's whip-cracking return to his hit adventurer franchise came first in a new survey by film website moviemistakes.com.
Fans spotted a huge number of mistakes in the Steven Spielberg movie - including the use of a Harley Davidson motorbike from 2000, despite the fact the film is set in 1957.
Other blunder-filled films include box office smash Mamma Mia! and Heath Ledger's last full acting role as The Joker in Batman movie The Dark Knight - with 44 and 43 mistakes respectively.
Jon Sandys, Moviemistakes editor, says, "With the budget of many movies, you'd think they could avoid mistakes like this, or at least use computers to cover them up, but they keep cropping up, and eagle-eyed movie fans keep spotting them."
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and Saving Private Ryan though, but you're onto something with Hanks. Was Sleepless in Seattle that successful? You could even do A League of their Own, Sleepless, Philly, Gump, Apollo 13, Toy Story. But that still pales in comparison to Ford's run.
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Of James Ellroys White Jazz. He was made to be Detective Liuetenant Dave "the Enforcer" Klien. That is if they made that movie eight or ten years ago like they should have.
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was just a cameo and he directed. Doesn't count really.
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Dec 18, 2008 1:37:04 PM CST
well...not cameo....but featured co-star or some shit...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Dec 18, 2008 1:44:07 PM CST
Sleepless in Seattle made $227,799,884 worldwide!!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Fuck me. 126 million domestic, with a budget of 21 million.
With Hanks, you can seriously start with A League of Their Own and go all the way up to Catch Me If You Can. Ladykillers finished him.
Catch Me If You Can ----$164,615,351
Road to Perdition ---- $104,454,762
Cast Away --- $233,632,142
The Green Mile ---- $136,801,374
Toy Story 2 --- $245,852,179
You've Got Mail ---$115,821,495
Saving Private Ryan ---$216,540,909
Toy Story ---$191,796,233
Apollo 13 ---$173,837,933
Forrest Gump ---$329,694,499
Philadelphia ----$77,446,440
Sleepless in Seattle ---$126,680,884
A League of Their Own ----$107,533,928 -
Triple what Philadelphia made. Fucking A. I didn't even like that movie.
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48 Hrs., Trading Places, Beverly Hills Cop, The Golden Child, BHC II, Coming to America.There was, however, a movie called Best Defense which came out between Trading Places and BHC with Dudley Moore. I have never heard of this movie.
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The top number is total grossing for all of their films.
Harrison Ford
$3,411,875,342
Average: $113,729,178
---------------
Tom Hanks
$3,395,313,612
Average: $102,888,291
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Tom Cruise
$2,712,341,218
Average: $96,869,329
------------------
Mel Gibson
$2,022,242,408
Average: $67,408,080
--------------
Wesley Snipes
$907,384,594
Average: $32,406,593
--------------- -
He had an 80's streak..
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$2,361,018,264 total?!! Fuck. That shouldn't count. Half of that is Jurassic Park money.
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What the fuck? According to boxofficemojo, Eddie is above Harrison? I had always heard Harrison was #1 -- but maybe that changed after THE KLUMPS!
Lifetime Gross Total $3,459,065,221 -
..thats all I remember.
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Coughlin's Laws may be reading.
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Who here suggested that stuff? I saw it at the grocery store today. Going to pick it up for the game on Sunday.Danny, did you ever watch The Road To Perdition? I sent you that bad boy, right?Think of Jeff Goldblum's luck: Juarassic Park, ID4 and The Lost World.
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The George W Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages and accepting donations. The Library will include:The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won't be able to remember anything.The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't even have to show up.The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in.The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out.The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one has been able to find.The National Debt Room, which is huge and has no ceiling.The Tax Cut Room, with entry only to the wealthy.
The Economy Room, which is in the toilet.The Iraq War Room. (After you complete your first visit, they make you to go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth visit.)The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location, complete with shotgun gallery.The Environmental Conservation Room, still empty.The Supreme Gift Shop, where you can buy an election.The Airport Men's Room, where you can meet some of your favorite Republican Senators.The Decider Room, complete with dart board, magic 8-ball, Ouija board, dice, coins, and straws. -
....and the W. library would be a hell of a good time. Sign me up for the room where you get to do railroads of the ass of the Yale Cheer Squad. Yummy!!
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He can put out a Nutty Professor, Dr. DoLittle, or Daddy Day Care sequel right now and easily top 100 million.
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Dec 18, 2008 2:47:15 PM CST
someone explain why the fuck CAROLINE KENNEDY....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....feels she deserves to be handed Hillary's fucking Senate seat? Why....because of her last name or because she licked Obama's balls on stage 15 times? Which is it? Stupid whore.
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Dec 18, 2008 2:49:47 PM CST
motherfucker Al Sharpton saying she's qualified....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...well what the fuck do you know about qualifications for public office motherfucker?!! You'll suck anyone's dick on stage if they win-- don't matter if it white, black, or purple. Al-- you're like Don King, he doesn't see the world as white or black, he only sees the motherfuckin' GREEN! ..........motherfucker....
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When you watch a movie I send you, we need some feedback. That's all I ask in return. Hanks, Law, Craig, Newman and Mendes is an all day conversation.
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Thanks! You UNICEF supportin' muthafucka!
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Perdition was fucking awesome. The music and the photography sold that shit. And icing Newman in the rain-- I've had dreams of doing that for years. Sucking the life out of those cold blue eyes. I really like the ending as well. The one single thing I didn't fancy too much was the actor that played the kid....he was okay-- but I just didn't like his look for some reason. Maybe too modern?
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That scene in the rain was brilliant. The spurting gunfire from the shadows gave me goosebumps.I'd have preferred Daniel Craig getting shot while he was on the crapper though. The ultimate indignity for that cold-blooded badass.
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Jude Law was fucking scary in that shit.
I noticed on IMDB that Daniel Craig was in it but haven't seen the movie since it came out so don't remember. -
I know oyu like that, so I wrote a great big list of comments on red Cliff up above. didja see it yet?
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Mother NightFucking genius.And the dvd has the original trailer that the studio wouldn't run with that just had Nolte preaching Nazi propoganda straight into the camera. Such a great film, and Nolte is amazing in it.Also, Nolte kind of did a White Jazz type character in Mulholland Falls.
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Dec 18, 2008 3:53:08 PM CST
I need to watch Perdition again...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I remember it being great, but fucking bleak. Other than Gattaca, it's the only film I've liked Jude Law in. Maybe that WWII one with Harris. About the snipers.
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....he is Nemman's cocksucker son. But he does an impressive American accent.
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But I love that Gattaca bit -- "WHAT'S YOUR FUCKING NUMBA'?!!"
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Didn't even show up to the premiere of Meet Dave. What a douche.
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He was probably just mortified by the thought of watching it.
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but he usually annoys me a lot. Especially in Sky Captain and his sobbing bitch in The Holiday. I will say he does look pretty bad-ass as Watson.
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Dec 18, 2008 4:03:50 PM CST
Like Afflecks comment on Paycheck...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
"I was going to walk out until I realised I was in it!"
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Dec 18, 2008 4:05:38 PM CST
For Fucks Sake some people are wankers!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
by TheLastCleric"As standalone films Burton’s Batman flicks have their charm but they have no relevance or respect to the Batman mythology."
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....was "HARRY KNOWLES' ASSHOLE FOR THE BATCAVE IN PART 3!!"
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Just watched this 'un from HOD's batch. Initial thoughts... It's a ninja Romeo & Juliet!Though the fighting was spectacular, I never really got behind any of the characters - I thought they were a bit weak, no story behind them. I didn't worry about any of them getting killed, I just counted off how many were left on each side as the movie went along. Neither did I feel much of a wrench when the villages were being attacked.The finale was effective, with 'Juliet's' selfless decision. Cinematography, good. Not a huge fan of perfect fight choreography but I accept that's the style here.Did the 'Elektra' film rip off 'Shinobi' - with the poisonous female character and the forest fighting? And what was up with that wild bloke with the 'Wolverine' fingers? He was virtually useless - how did he get picked for the mission!Be aware, I'm not experienced in watching Asian movies...
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... really Jarv up there? That sounded more like an alien Pod Jarv. He's never used the word "delightful" for anything. I'm suspicious.If it was you, the real Jarv signing off for Christmas - all the best, mate!
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Tut. If it's not Hulk, it's TDK. I bought myself TDK for Christmas, the amazon exclusive 'bat mask' case. Looks all right, but they could've designed the packaging better, actually had the bat mask set against a piece of art work at least instead of just plain grey card. Poor.
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Doesn't like anything, especially if its British.
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Unless Jarv has suddenly become infested with the spirit of Christmas - bit like Scrooge. Perhaps even as we speak he is cavorting amongst tramps, chucking frozen turkeys at them.
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Have a good night, folk.
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HOD - I recommended that fine beverage.
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my favorite ninja was the really traditional one that took out the guy with the sleeves. I appreciated the more traditional ninja, and his fight scene with Big-sleeves-dude was fucking rad.
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Do I have to lie and say I did? Because I thought that movie was dull, not well made, badly cast and unbelievable on almost every level. Jude Law was okay.Seriously, Hollywood, stop trying to cast Hanks as a tough guy, or even a mildly flinty guy, it failed both times, miserably.
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In Mulholland Falls(debateable in my opinion)but he he did not play Dave Klien.
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Fuck Avatar. Seriously, fuck it. What have we been shown that makes people think it can be good? Nothing. SO STOP SAYING IT'LL RAPE OUR EYEBALLS.
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Just saw it for the first time yesterday. It's a great movie. The way the whole thing was so self aware and the actual guy the movie is based on is integrated into the movie was really clever. And Paul Giamatti is once again a great a character actor as ever. He totally immersed himself in the role.
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Are you drinking again?
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Yeah, good movie.
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No, I'm just sick of the 'it'll rape your eyeballs' style posts. That are in every talkback. I like Cameron pre-Titanic, but I'm hardly going to be pumped for a film that hasn't actually been really promoted.
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Excellent movie.
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The worst film I've seen this decade. Just completely repugnant.
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That's one of may favourites with Paul Giamatti. You have to love a guy who can get angry about Revenge Of The Nerds.
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Yeah, I know. I've appealed to that Motoko guys better judgement, but he soldiers on with the "fucking your eyeballs" comments. It's annoying because I really am excited about Avatar.And I don't want to start a "flame war" with you, but I like Titanic. It's not a great film, but its very well made. You have to at least appreciate it on a technical level.Haven't seen Run Fatboy Run. Simon Pegg has started getting on my nerves the last year or so.
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is not just a bad movie- it's one of the worst film watching experiences of my life. I swear that you lot must have seen something different to me. Because what I saw was fucking awful.
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cheeky bastards. I even used the word "delightful" to describe Wall-E. Just because I hate the likes of Curtis, and Ang Lee's Hulk doesn't mean I hate everything. So fuck off.
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Stupid office Christmas doo on a Thursday.
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smashes stupid chinamans hulk. Stupid Chinaman thought he was making some sort of Greek Tragedy. Chinaman deserve smashing.
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and resenting the fact that I was told at the office Christmas thing that I have to be in today. Cunts.
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It was a very bad day yesterday
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Dec 19, 2008 4:08:21 AM CST
Jarv, ya holidaying "delight"!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
The Incredible Hulk was shit, and was directed by a two-bit French "delight".I'm starting to believe Lovefilm may be right!
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and maintain that loads of those Hanks films are fucking dreadful.
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I don't want to get into Ang Lee's Hulk discussion #497, but fuck Ang Lee. I don't like that guy at all.The world did not need a dull, pretentious western; or a dull, pretentious kung fu film; and it certainly didn't need a dull, pretentious Hulk film.As long as he sticks to his dreary little arthouse films, that's fine, but please, please, please don't let Ang Lee loose on any more genre films.Stupid Chinaman deserve smashing.
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Frenchies Hulk was stupid enjoyable shit. Wall-E was delightful. Hmph.
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Some us are so dumb we only have 3 piddling days off over Christmas and New Year's.Jesus, I'm dumb.
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Dec 19, 2008 4:17:03 AM CST
Michael J Fox had a great 80's run...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Granted three of those were BTTF's...Back to the FutureTeen WolfThe Secret of My SuccessBright Lights, Big CityCasualties of WarBack to the Future IIBack to the Future Part IIIThe Hard Way
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Hey, no hate here. It's the trolls that bug me.
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I liked them both.
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Dec 19, 2008 4:25:31 AM CST
If you guys want your moronic HULK SMASH
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Served up by a cheese eating surrender monkey, then you are welcome to it. It's shit. Not fun shit. Just boring shit.Charlie Chans Hulk went for something a little more than idiotic studio backlot royal rumbles. TIH sucked and everyone in it was shit in comparison to Lee's Hulk.The only good shot in the entire film was the shot of Rio de Janeiro at the start.
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Dec 19, 2008 4:29:35 AM CST
Is someone going to work on the ...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Werewolves on the moon screenplay over christmas?Now THAT'S a flick right up Letteriers alley. If Harlin isn't available of course.
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W. Mark Felt, Watergate Deep Throat, Dies at 95.
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Dec 19, 2008 4:46:08 AM CST
How Gilmore Girls must end (AVERT YOUR EYES, JARV!)
by franklin t marmoset
Christopher - finally realising that Lorelai is a vacillating, self-absorbed cunt - takes his daughter and heads off to Paris to be reuinited with his wife (that one off Twin Peaks who was married to Leo). Before he leaves, he burns Lorelai's house to the gound and strangles Paul Anka with his bare hands.Lorelai, overcome with grief and finally realising what a vacillating, self-absorbed cunt she has been, goes to Luke's Diner and begs him to take her back. Unfortunately, Luke is already well aware of what a vacillating, self-absorbed cunt Lorelai is, so he spits in her face, ties her to the gazebo in Stars Hollow's town square, then fucks Sherilyn Fenn right in front of her while Kirk does a dance of some sort.Fade out - THE END.Coda: Rory and Logan live happily ever after, since Logan is not quite such a douche any more.P.S. Mr Z - If you could confirm this is actually what happens, I'd be very grateful. Cheers, mate.
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Nope. It's cooler.
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Dec 19, 2008 4:56:56 AM CST
HA! Never in my life did i imagine...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
a discussion between two AICN fanboys involving Gilmore Girls and the phrase "Nope. It's cooler."Very amusing. BTW, I'm not judging! There's probably plenty of shit I like that is pretty gay as well.
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I can only assume you mean chainsaws are involved somehow.I suppose Luke could be torturing Lorelai with the chainsaw while he is also fucking Sherilyn Fenn, but, I don't know, that's stretching credibility a little. It would be very awkward to fuck Sherilyn Fenn while also torturing Lorelai Gilmore with a chainsaw, I reckon.
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Patrick Bateman is a guy who could combine sex and chainsaws quite successfully, but Luke Danes does not have patrick Bateman's murdering skills. Essentially, he would be doing it because it's what's best for Lorelai, not because he is a psychopath and is getting off on it.
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Is shit. Frank is right. The world did not need a painfully pretentious, wannabe greek tragedy Hulk. Props for aiming high, but kick in the bollocks for missing by so far. Awful, awful shite and I don't understand the love for it. It is certainly not delightful. Neither was Frenchies Hulk. But at least Frenchies Hulk said "HULK SMASH". Ang lee's up it's own arse hulk couldn't do something as cool as thit. I was grinning from ear to ear. The definitive hulk is still the one from the 70's with THor in it. "Summon your troll so we may battle again"
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I want to be sick. I am severely ill. Cursed alcohol.
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The fucking awful actors studio bit with Nolte and Bana. AAAAARGH YUCK. Mrs Jarv maintains that Ang Lee's Hulk is one of the biggest pieces of shite that I've ever inflicted on her and borderline grounds for divorce. I've thought about this and have to say that she'd right.
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Buyer beware and whatnot.
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Dec 19, 2008 5:53:07 AM CST
Worst piece of shite I've ever inflicted on a girlfriend?
by franklin t marmoset
Spawn. No doubt about it.I took my girlfriend of the time to see it at the fucking cinema, and I spent the whole film sinking into my seat with embarrassment. No one deserves Spawn on the big screen.I complain from time to time about some of the awful crap I've had to watch with Sandra Bullock or Kate Hudson in it, but nothing compares to me making a woman I actually cared about suffer through Spawn.
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HUZZAH! Want to go home and watch frenchie's hulk.
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Dec 19, 2008 5:55:55 AM CST
Yes, but Mrs Jarv is a red-flagged pervert!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
According to certain sources. You could always use that in your defence.The HULK SMASH bit made me simultaneously roll my eyes and groan in disgust. That's not easy! It's like patting your head and rubbing your stomach! By the end of TIH i was an expert of the groan/roll.Anyway, as you said, for the millionth time, we shall agree to disagree.
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Dec 19, 2008 5:58:23 AM CST
Ha! I sabotaged a burgeoning relationship...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
by dragging some poor chick to League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. I sat there in complete disbelief, and couldn't look her in the eye afterwards. Needless to say i never heard from her again.
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and then I'm off to the pub for lunch.Ciao motherfuckers.
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Drunk = Insane desire to re-watch The Incredible Hulk.I want to be drunk right now and piss off and go play the new Call of Duty game all afternoon. Fuck work!
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Have a couple for me.
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I have that Christmassy, end-of-term feel I used to get at school, when everyone would bring in games and sausage rolls and whatnot and nobody had to do any work.I don't know what it is about Christmas, but it always brings out those kiddy feelings.Now, I am feeling like I want to buy a games console of some sort and spend the next couple of weeks sitting around in my shorts shooting stuff and eating sandwiches.
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I just bought myself three new ps3 games for christmas, because well... three is better than one! Christmas will be one long booze and games session i foresee.
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I haven't had a console in a few years and I'm thinking about getting another one. Is the PS3 worth the extortionate price Sony are charging for it?
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Honestly, fuck it. Most of the TV shows I like are criticised by the 'geek' majority (Heroes, Smallville) and I get sick of defending them. The Internet is full of pricks who beat one off every time they can 'win' an argument by trashing someone else's opinion.
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I still enjoy the hell out of that film. I also like painted sword girl's tongue. Total Recall was on sci-fi channel last night, so I caught the rest of that after Doomsday. "See ya at the party Richter." *tosses arms over the side*
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So I'll have to get my ass to Mars and hightail it from work at some point.
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The Justice League episode of that show is fucking awesome.
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I like it a lot, but i was given it by Mrs Droid so I can't really say if its worth the money. It is good, and I have a LCD tv so I've got a couple of blu rays which look great. I think if you're a serious gamer go for the PS3, but a casual gamer can go for a cheaper xbox which essentially does the same thing for half the price.
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The true purpose of pricks on the internet is not to make you all angry - no, they exist purely so we can make fun of them.What would we do without angry assholes to mock?Chances are, we'd be alright, but we would having just a little bit less fun.P.S. Get some sun, fatty!
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I seriously wasn't judging, mate. Just thought the "No. Much cooler." comment was funny in relation to GG. I watch Heroes, but honestly say that it hasn't been good since season one. Don't watch Smallville, so can't really comment on that.
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I seriously wasn't judging, mate. Just thought the "No. Much cooler." comment was funny in relation to GG. I watch Heroes, but honestly say that it hasn't been good since season one. Don't watch Smallville, so can't really comment on that.
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I seriously wasn't judging, mate. Just thought the "No. Much cooler." comment was funny in relation to GG. I watch Heroes, but honestly say that it hasn't been good since season one. Don't watch Smallville, so can't really comment on that.
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I wanted to like it - I really did - but I thought it was abysmal. Messy, asinine, boring, and Rhona Mitra didn't even look that hot. What's the point of having Rhona Mitra if she's not going to look hot? To appreciate her acting ability? Fuck right off.Ah, well. Never mind.
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Wasn't referring you as a 'prick', just making a generalised statement about how annoying the Internet can be with people saying 'Avatar rocks' before they've seen a second of it and 'Lost is the best show ever and nothing else can ever match it.'
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I'm a very (very) casual gamer, so the PS3 just seems like way too much money to blow on something I'm only going to use once in a blue moon.I like the look of the X Box 360 Arcade, which is cheap as chips at only £130. Bargain. I reckon I might get me one of those and spend the weekend doing that shooting/sandwich thing I mentioned earlier. Childish, but what the fuck. It's Christmas and whatnot.
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I have a cold that made me hallucinate I was taking over the world.
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Doomsday was a fucking mess. Apocolyptic shit, Reaper virus shit, Medievil shit and a shit Bowie style pop-montage all adds up to a huge steaming pile of shit.
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come to bring upon the Apocalypse. "Thank 2for2true I'm only thinking that, and not writing it" pillow thinks to himself....
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A work colleague just got an xbox 360 for under £100 at Zavvi. Bargain.
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I just wish Neil went further with it. Maybe had like the Redcoats or some shit like that in it as another faction with muskets and wigs.
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Not seen it, but I always figure that if you're going to make a fucking mess of a film then don't half-ass it.
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but I can't believe how fucking much money they fucking charge for a fucking game console. Fuck.
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Dec 19, 2008 7:07:02 AM CST
NY Times Review of "Seven Pounds"
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
“Seven Pounds” may be among the most transcendently, eye-poppingly, crazily awful motion pictures ever made.
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that I only get interested in a film when it gets completely ripped to shreds? I now want to see Seven Pounds and The Spirit!I feel dirty.
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Hours later, and I'm STILL harbouring anger towards that garbage.
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Not even close to being absolute dreck like Baby Mama and What Happens in Vegas. I defy you Zed to watch those two festering sores on the ass of a dead camel and not think Run Fatboy Run is rousing success compared to them.
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Thanks for the tip, droid.
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I watched What Happens In Vegas, but as awful as that was it didn't feature a protagonist I was meant to like who LEFT HIS PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND ON THEIR WEDDING DAY. No amount of 'but he was scared' rhetoric can make me think that's a likeable character.
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I think I've gone off Simon Pegg, but I don't know why. I used to think he was great.
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I like Christmas and all that, but must we be assaulted by the same fucking cunting songs every fucking cunting year?That Slade one, the Paul McCartney one, that insipid John Lennon one, Mistletoe and fucking Wine, Band bastarding Aid, and fucking, fucking, motherfucking Wham.Every year, it's like fucking Groundhog day with the music.Can we please have some new Christmas songs?
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and consequently feel much better. Anyway, Mrs. Jarv's pervert status is totally my fault. I have to go to dinner tonight and make nice. I think this may be beyond me.
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What an amazing X-Mas film.
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Dec 19, 2008 8:07:10 AM CST
Would it kill Tom Waits to make a Christmas album?
by franklin t marmoset
Come on, Tom Waits. I have been a fan of yours for twenty one years now. In that time, I have not met one single other fan, so I am assuming I am the only one. Me - your only fan. I have been paying your way for over two decades, and I demand a fucking Christmas album!Please, Tom Waits. Save me from Now That's What I Call Christmas.
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is a great version of the tale. I'm interested in the Zemekis one. Hopefully he'll keep Carrey on a short leash. Imagine being the poor fucking animator that has to animate Carrey, watching and re-watching his fucking schtick.
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I think it was that How to Lose Friends... flick that did it for me. I haven't even seen it but I for some reason I believe he's a cock in real life, and not far removed from that particular character. That being said, Spaced and Shaun of the Dead are great.
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In all seriousness, he could have raped a camel and mutilated an old lady and it still would have been better than Baby Mama and What Happens in Vegas.
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only acceptable one is Fairytale in New York. You know this to be true.
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I'm sure you will all be excited to know I just passed my two month probation at my new job with flying colours.A-woo and, indeed, a-hoo!Now I am definitely treating meself to one a them X Box gizmos. I would be wrong not to, really.
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Fairytale In New York is mint.I also like Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow, but mostly for the Die Hard connection.Yippe-ki-yay and whatnot.
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So they forgot to check your internet usage first, eh?
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in my office. Just thought I'd share that. He's whinging about typesetting
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Dec 19, 2008 9:24:00 AM CST
Lucky for me, they do not pay too much attention to that
by franklin t marmoset
When I started here, they told me it was virtually impossible for anyone to access the internet, but it turns out it was as easy as typing www.aintitcool.com in Explorer.Which is good for me, because I do like to talk about crap on the AICN now and then. Where else can I ramble on about the stupid shit we talk about here?
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stuck in his neck.
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Dec 19, 2008 9:26:23 AM CST
you should treat yourself to a hulked out lesbo midget
by just pillow talk
Christmas is, after all, once a year.
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but anyone see Traitor with The Cheadle?
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I also work with the world's biggest nobhead. He only has three things to say and he says them every fucking day!This is a fucking big office we're working in, Jarv, spreading all the way across the country from Bristol to London. Huge.
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...are going to be huddled up together playing Halo 3 all weekend.It's party time at the Marmoset bunker!
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....but saying Crouching Tiger is dull and pretentious? Oh fuck. Now your taste is officially crap.
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Dec 19, 2008 9:34:15 AM CST
the midget chick from total recall popped into my head
by just pillow talk
I'm thinking of her in green, but instead of stabbing that dude in total recall, putting her fist through his stomach. After a long day of puncturing guards from Mars, it's time to kick back and play Halo 3.
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Not really - even if I find Simon Pegg annoying, he can be funny. So when there's not one laugh in a 'comedy' he co-wrote... that to me is worse than What Happens In Vegas which was never going to not suck. That and Thandie Newton is amazingly awful.
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Dec 19, 2008 9:39:06 AM CST
Jarv-- its amazing you can get behind French Hulk....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....if you have a personal vendetta against Ang, I understand. But seriously-- praising French Hulk? It makes sense from Frank, because he enjoys the lighter kiddie shit like Fantastic Four. But you're the one always screaming about how retarded that sort of shit is, and how it caters to people with the brain capacity of Sarah Palin's kids. French Hulk is on the exact same level of sophistication as a Fantastic Four film. There is nothing wrong with that-- I like both. But your views just seem inconsistent. I think its something deeper. I think you need to come clean about yours and John McCain's common hatred of all things yellow.
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He would be wearing a beret of course, and definitely have one of those funny french moustaches, which would be green of course.
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I'm anti all wire fu bullshit. I don't care how "beautiful" you tell me the story is supposed to be. Give me fucking Warlords.
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Sorry, no - French Hulk has consequences. Nether Fantastic Four film did. They get happy endings, Banner is forced to constantly go on the run because a moment of joy or anger causes him to turn into an angry Green man.
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That's fucked up.
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....but that was the only time its been used well IMO. And it was probably the only movie with wire-fu and a solid script, ever shot. Thats the only movie like that I've ever liked. Fuck all those Jet Li wire movies. FUUUUUUUUUUCK THAT.
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Ang Lee and that fucking film are personally responsible for the recent wave of dull, artsy kung fu films. What an asshole.Armour Of God, Enter The Dragon, Drunken Master, Once Upon A Time In China, Iron Monkey - those are good martial arts films. Crouching Tiger is tedious art house crap for people who would never lower themselves to watch a Donnie Yen film.Bah, as Mr Z would say.
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...that Jarv is a lot less hideous.
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French Hulk in a beret. That is funny as hell, JPT. If you don't mind, I'm going to be chuckling about that all weekend.Also, I have added a brown paper bag full of baguettes under his arm, just to complete the look. Later, he will smash the baguettes.
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....there are the Crouching Tiger people (wires and story) and the Iron Monkey people (wires and a waste of my fucking time)
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I don't watch those. Still didn't like Crouching Tiger. Like Frankie said, Donnie Yen is the man. Kill Zone baby, Kill Zone.
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I have to concur. I fucking hate wire-work for the most part. There has to be a sense that it CAN happen in our world, making it look obviously fake and insane pisses me off.
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...wearing one of those skin tight striped shirts French people wear in cartoons.
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Though they have the stupid smoking ban too, so maybe french hulk is wearing the patch?
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....that fight scene in Tom Jane's Punisher with Kevin Nash looked more brutal.
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I think that completes the picture.
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That was an awesome fight.
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Ang Lee keeps opening his mouth and saying something like "I'm not making a sueprhero movie, I'm making greek tragedy" or "this is Jane Austen meets kung fu". I FUCKING HATE Jane Austen. Bollocks.
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Fucking awesome martial artists like Yen, Jaa...vs. Crouching Tiger make-believe kung fu. Again, the two fights at the end of Kill Zone for fucking great, and the fight at the end of Flash point was good. And no matter if Tony Jaa is a fruit loop, The Protector is out of control awesomeness.
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Never saw it.
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This is that baton scene everyone is always raving about. http://tinyurl.com/4ytryy I don't get it. How does this look hardcore to you? It looks like a choreographed dance to me. Swinging sticks at each other does not make something tough. I've heard people describe this scene as "BRUTAL." Whaaaaaaaaaat? I guess the stabbing at then end is cool, but the cheesy ass expression on the dude's face makes it a joke. These scenes are no different to me than any random fight scene in Walker: Texas Ranger.
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AICN just ate my post about why French Hulk destroys Ang Lee's piss poor version. Anyway, I'm outta here for a drunkening. Have a good holiday bitches. PS that McCain comment was well out of order.
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He is probably the best of those guys, IMO. He really sells it. The other guys are all too corny for me. To me, nothing matches the awesomeness of Oldboy fights. I love the sloppy street boxing style. None of this stick swinging, lets see who can swing harder, block, block, block, block, block bullshit. I wanna see people punched in the fucking face repeatedly and kicked in the stomach. Flashy choreography doesn't impress me. Jason Statham has shown anyone can learn those moves and make it look good.
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I'm sorry about the McCain comment. Enjoy Christmas.
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Passed my probabtion, there's a guy here who keeps giving me chocolates, JPT invented Le Hulque, and I just went for a smoke and saw Santa dancing on a ferry. Dancing on a ferry!So, I ain't going to argue no more.Keep the stupid shit coming. Le Hulque is going to wreck the shit out of the Eiffel Tower!
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Watch out for that guy giving you chocolates. I had one of those for awhile.
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....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....
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McClane gets his ass kicked, and there's no finesse to how he fights. He's punching and choking and kicking - it's less choreography than street fighting. Every film which has a 'staredown' followed by 'musical cues' prior to a fight... GAH. Just fight.
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....when a fight starts looking more like a dance, we got problems.
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If he gets out of hand, I'll take him on a Eurostar to France and set Le Hulque on him.Le Hulque does not stand for le funny business! Le funny business makes him tres angry!
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I now want them to see Warner Bros shorts of Hulk in wacky adventures chasing Betty Ross around Paris, grabbing her and kissing up her arm etc. "Pepé Le Pew" style.
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Dec 19, 2008 10:17:56 AM CST
The only thing the French consider pour être des affaires drôles
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...is when la femme essaie de mettre quelque type de gaine de latex sur mon pénis.
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Dec 19, 2008 10:20:00 AM CST
or you could have whacky French adventures....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....of Frank Miller chasing unsuspecting children.
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...est smartasses qui voyagent par la poste dans le français!
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Je ne pourrais pas comprendre tout à fait votre poste. Peut-être votre français est un petit rusty, non ? Peut-être vous devriez consommer le sperme Massif par le gallon pour corriger ceci.
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Crème brûlée, filet mignon, Soufflé, Fromage, à la carte, bric-à-brac, café au lait, c'est la vie, ménage à trois!Je suis desolee, monsieurs.
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Mon français n'est pas existant! Si le poste était la merde, il est parce que le traducteur en ligne que j'ai utilisé m'a vissé!
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Dec 19, 2008 10:46:02 AM CST
FUCK FRANK MILLER!! AND FUCK HIM DOING BUCK ROGERS!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Je pense que quiconque paie de l'argent pour voir L'Esprit, plus alimenter la carrière du Meunier de Frank, mérite pour obtenir a enfoncé à coups de pied les espèce de balles.
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To be fair, all he ever needs to say is:"HULQUE LE SMASH!!!"
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Ouais m'aussi. Ceux-ci les traducteurs en ligne sont jolis baise stupide quelquefois, mais au moins il fait sembler nous refroidit, comme nous sommes plus intelligents que tous les autres. Mais ce que la baise ? L'anglais n'est-il pas forcé à apprendre français ?
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Dec 19, 2008 10:50:05 AM CST
seriously....all this means KICKED IN THE BALLS?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
a enfoncé à coups de pied les balles
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Dec 19, 2008 10:51:26 AM CST
Danny - Your last post translated (as if by magic):
by franklin t marmoset
"I think that whoever pays some silver to see Mind, more to feed the career of the miller de Frank, deserves to acquire plants kind of bullets in kicks."
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Dec 19, 2008 10:51:37 AM CST
maybe thats just the French way of saying it....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....they hardly ever talk about someone getting kicked in the balls without also describing the guy falling on the floor and pissing on himself in great detail. I guess thats all in there.
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Really?! Thats what it said?
I tried to say:
ANYONE PAYING TO SEE THE SPIRIT DESERVES TO BE KICKED IN THE FUCKING BALLS. -
"These the online translators are pretty kiss stupid sometimes, but at least it makes seem cool us down, as us are more clever than all the others. But what what kisses it? Is not English forced to learn French?"You get some pretty funny shit when you feed stuff into the translator a few times. Now I have something else to do when I'm bored.
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American Splendor was an amazing movie. The directing team followed it up with another masterpiece.....The Nanny Diaries wah wah wahahahahaha.
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Is not English forced to learn French?These are important questions, you know.
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Dec 19, 2008 10:56:57 AM CST
I've never been kicked in the balls, but...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I've had a few close calls and pissing is the last thing my body wanted to do.
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The funny thing is, that really does sound like someone not very good at speaking a foreign language-- trying to get by with one of those LEARN SIMPLE FRENCH TO GET BY books. Hahaha.
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Someone must know.Is it you?
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Slumdog or Milk? I can't convince my lady friend to do a double feature. And the theater showing them is a bit of a drive. OR OR $1 theater showing Punisher and Transporter? or bolt 3-D
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Thats weird. I said "BUT WHAT THE FUCK, AREN'T ALL ENGLISH FORCED TO LEARN FRENCH?"
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Dec 19, 2008 10:59:35 AM CST
HA! Ebert's Showgirls review is comedy gold
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
"A sleazefest like "Showgirls" promises the inside dope on Las Vegas, stripping, hooking and all that stuff. What "Showgirls" delivers, however, seems basically to be Joe Eszterhas' masturbatory fantasies."And it continues like that. He can sometimes be very funny.
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I demand that someone give Le Hulque his own television programme.I would totally watch at least two episodes.
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Go with $1 theater double feature Punisher and Transporter.
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I went and pleeded to my teacher for a D. She was an easy enough teacher so she gave me a D.
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If you didn't watch that show, then consider yourself a silly nanny.
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Did you plead in french? Or at least, a french accent?
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....on your face with a marker and pleaded in a French accent. AWWWWW those silly French. They sure do love to smoke and fuck.
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Frank Miller, a man with no directing experience whatsoever (apart from the courtesy credit he got for Sin City), gets to write and direct a reasonably big budget film. By all accounts, it's a fucking catastrophe. Then, he gets signed up for another reasonably big budget film?What the fuck is that about? In any other industry, incompetance gets you sacked, not promoted.I demand Le Hulque be flown in on Concord (which they will take out of retirement and paint green for the occasion) to wreck the shit out of the whole place. All of Hollywood! And Frank Miller (and whoever thought it was a good idea to let Frank Miller be a director) will get kicked into trees.
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HBO has just picked up the comedy Hung starring Thomas Jane.
The network has picked up 10 episodes, with the series debuting in June of '09.
Thomas plays a "well-endowed" high school basketball coach who's struggling with his life and finances but "figures out a way to use his best asset."
The show's creators say Hung "has its sexual moments, but the show is very much about what's happening in the country, how people are trying to survive using what God had given them."
The show is set in Michigan, which the creators say was picked before the economic crisis of the state became so devastating due to the struggling automakers.
The series is set to begin production early next year. -
"I have a Jager machine in my bus and one in the dressing room. I also have a new dressing-room rule, which I started over the summer: You must remove one article of clothing- your pants, your top- ore else you are not allowed in my dressing room. So in order to come back and dance and party you gotta take off some clothing. That gets the fucking party started so quick. Everyone’s walking around topless, and shit’s going, music’s bumping, girls are dancing on the table, and you’re like, Okay this is perfect."
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No my teacher was really easy. She just didn't teach us shit or give us homework and then just gave us random ass test that I always failed. I stayed after class and was like, can I have a D? And she said Ok. Maybe I should have asked for a B?
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Jesus Christmas. Wire-fu looks fake and unrealistic in our world so it's crap? Yeah, all that corny, fake looking shit in Big Trouble in Little China is sooooooo much better. If you want to talk about inconsistent, talk about how a group of guys can like the worst B-movies on the planet but call guys dancing with batons and looking cheeky into the camera as they slap each other silly nonsense, now that's inconsistent.I understand that Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan didn't use wires, but they also didn't use stunt doubles which guys like Seagal did even when he WAS in shape, and every guy on here gives the pony tailed one a pass.I don't get. An ass kicking is an ass kicking. Who gives a fat flying festering fuck if wires are involved. Stallone used wires in Cliffhanger and just how awesome did those views with him on the side of a cliff look?Bunch of damn haters around here. Bah humbug.
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A very merry Christmas to all the AICN types lucky enough to be off next week.Good weekends to all the chumps (me included) who are working next week.Now, if you'll excuse me, my hulked lesbo midget is expecting me to come home with an X Box, and she right wrecks up the place if she doesn't get what she wants. Petulant cow.
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We're gonna need a bigger talkback.
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Been giving to Slumdog and Wall-E is awesome. Finally an awards season I can get behind. Unlike last year where no one even knew Danny Boyle made a movie.
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How is it nonsense? Personally, when I see an action film I want to see pain. Not ballet. If the characters are doing impossible things in an otherwise realistic world, it bugs me. Big time. But Big Trouble In Little China doesn't strive for any realism.
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It has nothing to do with the idea of using wires for stuntwork, or using doubles. Its the finished product that counts. If it looks floaty and magical, that is in no fucking way tough at all. I like fight scenes to be violent and tough. I just don't think weightlessness can ever look violent or tough. And there aren't many movies that come close to the ass kicking going down in Above The Law.
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Hahahahahha for a minute there I was thinking Tommy Lee Jones.
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Dec 19, 2008 11:34:02 AM CST
Big Trouble in Little China was a goofy movie....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....but the fight scenes are honestly more tough than any of that flying Jet Li shit. The fight in the alley has some bad ass, brutal looking hits.
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Tommy Lee's rules for his trailer! No ho enters without dropping the panties. Now get some of that plumbers putty and start filling the ravines in my face bitches!
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Then you should check out the Korean movies I sent you. Those fights always involve people falling down when they try to kick a guy and punches missing the mark completely. I've never witnessed a street fight in real life, but I imagine they mostly look like that, where there's fewer fist/foot connections and guys doing more damage to themselves than the other guy.And bats. Every fight in a Korean movie involves baseball bats. And sashimi knives.
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I saw the Protector with my buddy on one weekend and then the next weekend we caught Fearless. The connection being Nathan Jones and we both though that Fearless was just soooo fucking boring and the fight scenes so lame. Though we laugh at the story for the Protector but we loved the shit out of the action. While we laughed at everything in Fearless. Fucking Jet Li, pulling a Jay-Z how lame.
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...thats the kinda shit I like. Its why I always praise the Oldboy style of fighting. Just nasty, sloppy, brawling where no one is anticipating the other guy's next 5 hits, and there are no pretty capes in the wind.
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You guys need to embrace all forms of ass kicking.And everyone knows that Marked For Death was more brutal than Above the Law. What Seagal does to Screwface is a masterpiece.
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Paint bucket and fire hose fight scene from Transporter 2? That was very rehearsed, but very awesome. Also very Jackie Chanish.
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In my world.And for whatever reason Korean films have refused to use wires. Those fights are always so ugly.I know a lot of guys here thought the City of Violence was awful, but that fight at the end is more brutal than anything Seagal or Van Damme ever did. I don't think you'd like the movie Danny, but you'd love that final fight.
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Y'all are saying you like brutal, nasty, ugly, sloppy fisticuffs and yet in The Transporter, Bourne, Batman, Snipes, etc. movies, those fights are brutal but sloppy they ain't. Seriously, go revisit Blade and TDK and The Transporter and you'll see that those fights are choreographed to perfection. There's ZERO that's sloppy about them. A guy getting picked up and tossed through a french door doesn't make it ugly. Just because the room gets trashed doesn't mean it's sloppy. They use quick cuts for a reason. And it's called choreographing the perfect looking fight.Anyway, I'm done. Someone can have my soapbox.
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Dec 19, 2008 12:13:19 PM CST
the brutality of Seagal films has a lot to do with dialogue..
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....like in Out For Justice when he goes into that pool hall and puts his badge on the table. "Here's my gun, here's my badge (points to his face) and here's your trophy....now fucking take it!"
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Pretty funny. I was slightly disappointed because a lot of the best parts were killed by the trailer but overall it was good. Some classic stuff. SPOILER: When the director stepped on the landmine I almost lost my shit. And Stiller's "son" on his back stabbing him and getting flinged off at the end was hysterical. Tom Cruise's performance is completely OVERRATED though.
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........the idea is to make it appear realistically brutal, which those films succeed in doing. A 90 pound guy floating around on wires and kicking off walls with a flowy gown is just lame to me. Its not a fight, its a ballet. And stick fighting is almost always lame looking. I used to do the same shit fucking around in 5th grade, I didn't think I looked bad ass doing it and they shouldn't either. It has a lot to do with the actor as well. The look on his face, that intensity in his eyes-- he/she really has to sell the brutality.
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Too many guys that hate Stiller will avoid it which is a shame because it's one of the best satires ever. Jack Black's rant as he's tied up is brilliant. And no one talks about it but my favorite scenes were between Nolte and the F/X guy.Back in 90s Seagal consistently put out the most brutal fights. They weren't realistic by any means but they were damned hardcore.
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Dec 19, 2008 12:30:54 PM CST
I dunno...I think compared to most action films...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...of the 80s and 90s-- Seagal's were always pretty realistic. He wasn't doing shit like jumping off a skyscraper with a fire house tied around his waist or anything. He was just cracking fools in the head with cue balls.
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...out to you guys now.Danny should write a script for "Brutality: The Movie".
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Dec 19, 2008 12:39:33 PM CST
Jack Blacks "I will suck your dick" rant...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
is the best thing in Tropic Thunder. TT wasn't as good as I thought it would be. If I'd gone in cold, I would've like it much more, but the trailers did give too much stuff away. Cruise was great but maybe a bit too much of him in it. Downey Jr was good, but he was too overexposed in the press. His "full retard" bit was genius. Stiller should've directed, and had Keanu star in his role.
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This is a cool fight scene. I might be on board with this movie. http://tinyurl.com/44vuo2 This is the movie that had that really bad ass marketing style on their posters and shit isn't it? I thought the look would be more stylistic with built sets. Its funny when the posters look all far out and the movie is just shot on the same Korean streets as every other one. Hehehe. -
Starring George Lucas, Shia LaBeouf, and the painfully stretched anuses of millions and millions of Indiana Jones fans around the world.
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Dec 19, 2008 12:48:21 PM CST
I'm just going by the rules of realism that you guys...
by hawaiian organ donor
...set down. Seagal never threw a punch that missed. He never kicked a guy and then fell over because his center of gravity was off. When fighting in the pool hall, every instrument of pain he uses is conveniently placed around the room. When fighting several guys at once, each waits his turn to get bludgeoned. Save for Tommy Lee Jones getting his token "Luke catches Vader in the shoulder on Bespin" moment, I don't think Seagal ever took a punch or kick or knife slash from any combatant.In truth, there are very few realistic fights. It's rare you'll see a guy like Thomas Jane get the snot beat out of him like he did in The Punisher. And they got the Die Hard movies right. At the end of every one, McClane's face is beat to hell and he leaves a trail of blood.
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....because no way in hell would his wife not suck him dry every night for the rest of his life after he saved her ass at Nakatomi Towers.
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Dec 19, 2008 12:54:23 PM CST
Korean crime movies are definitely for you, Danny
by hawaiian organ donor
Dirty, gritty, ugly, sloppy, bloody, nasty.......wait, that sound like your prom night.Unless you want to watch the entire movie, check out the final fight of CoV on YouTube as well. That should make your day.
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Dec 19, 2008 12:57:14 PM CST
I really like the naturalistic photography....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...they do as well. Its nice looking. Have you ever seen a straight up Korean drama or romantic film? Does romance exist in Korea?
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Love that movie because Gibson looks like hamburger by the end. I must admit, I love to see the hero bleed.
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He took in 33 million domestic. Brit Punisher is at 7 mill, and about to be out of the theater next week. FUCK ME. That sucks.
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Oh yeah, those are HUGE over there. Koreans don't do comedy/drama/romance very well but that probably has more to do with the culture differences. But I've seen a few of each that I thought were as good as anything Hollywood pumps out.You saw Mr. Socrates right? I mean, there was nothing pretty about that movie. If I had known that was more your style back when, I would have made your kits nothing but nasty looking crime movies.
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It puts them against the odds when they barely make it to the head bad dude in one piece, and barely manage to pull a victory even though they're all cut up and barely standing. I love that shit. Who the fuck wants a clean perfectly manicured hero to swing in on a fucking rope with a big cod-piece like Douglas fucking Fairbanks? Not me.
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Thats totally my style.
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That movie indulged my dark side. I'd love to own the director's cut.War Zone looks like it will be everything I want in an uber violent movie. I'll be squealing the whole time.
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Laws that land your ass in jail if you cheat on your spouse. It's like the worst offense imaginable over there.
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Did you read the Patton Oswalt review of Punisher War Zone? And I too liked Jane's version. Its oddly cheap feeling -- like Cinemax late 90s action movie. But its fucking fun as hell and pretty damn funny.
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...your wife screaming at you she's gonna have your ass thrown in jail for a year just because you fingered the chick in human resources? Hell no. Never moving to Korea.
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Was the bomb! It was sooo funny. I don't think the trailers ruined shit. They amazingly kept Cruises face out of everything which was pretty amazing. One of the funniest movies ever.
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Holy crap.
We had a guy in my town sue another guy for banging his wife. It was alienation of affection and he won six-figures in the judges settlement.
My best friend from high school also had a wife that was nurse and she started banging a doctor. So my friend sued and got a check, although he couldn't tell anybody how much he got.
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???? What the fucking fuck? I hate everyone that drives an F-150. Here in Americas heartland they are known as Mustang of trucks. Also throughout the bible belt it is a law that F-150's do not have to follow any traffic laws. I read on Yahoo that some guy said that people buy what they need, and people need big pick up trucks??? Really? What the fuck do people need with big pick up trucks? 99.9% of all trucks I see aren't carrying anything? I guess dudes who drive trucks just like to sit close to other dudes? Seriously I move more shit in my hatchback then most trucks.
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Those things are everywhere and they are required by law to have the following on them: Mud, offroad tires (oversized of course) and loud pipes (exhaust). Also Mustangs and Nissan Xterras.
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Its totally true. For work purposes I get it. But thats not the majority of big truck owners. I own a Scion XB, and I have a much larger interior space than most large trucks. FUCK 'EM!!
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All they haul is ass. Up and down my street. You would think $5 diesel would deter them, but hell no.
I have a friend that is an independent farmer. Does all his own work and he told me a 3/4 pick up was too much for him, so he easily makes do with a half-ton truck to haul and drag all his equipment around.
My point is, if a honest-to-God farmer can't justify a 3/4 diesel pickup, then how in the hell can a teenager? -
I want realistic fight scenes that are brutal... or the other example, which is OTT ludicrous. That's what Die Hard IV didn't realise - if they made the whole film John surviving ridiculous stunts, by the plane hitting the highway we would've been too numb to care.
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The rest of you guys have no fucking clue what you're talking about. If you're going to limit yourself to one type of ass-kicking, then you are a lesser man than HOD and I and you need to have your balls checked.Fearless had some GREAT fights. And they were brutal. The duel with the bald guy in the abandoned restaurant? That got pretty brutal if you ask me.I think most of you are just missing the point. Fights should be taken within the context of the film. Big Trouble in Little China has goofy fights, because it's a goofy movie And sorry Danny, i just checked on that alley fight and that is some lame-ass choreography at best. I'm not in that good shape, but even I feel like I could have kicked half of those guys' asses. Now taking other movies into account, let's use Hero as an example. Hero is wire-fu central. But that's because most of the fight scenes aren't the real fights at all. They're allegories and they serve as studies of the characters. They are there to represent certain facets or emotions they are going through, and they are being expressed through the movement. Yes, you can call it dancing. In a way, most fights are. There's a distinction between dance and fighting that can be made, but both are expressions of the body. Fights can have different purposes in a movie than to just entertain. The very best action movies usually use the action to also drive the story, or at least share something about the characters. So try taking the fights in the film within the individual context and maybe you will get something else out of them.There. I made a better argument for different kinds of fights than some dull, ignorant shit like "It's not that tough! Waaaahh!"
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when it's not a tough movie is like being mad at a musical for not being gritty enough. It's just not respecting the movie for what it is.
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You guys listen to his latest stand up CD? He has a bit on there comparing Bush and Cheney to the Dukes of Hazard and it is priceless.When I put the seats down in the Prius, I can haul around anything. Even The Bates. All these a-holes who claim that they have to have trucks and SUVs to haul stuff around disgust me.My best friend's wife was banging a fellow teacher for a couple years before he found out. That vile cunt is tops on my Would Kill With My Bare Hands List. Think about that. All those CEOs and politicians that are on my list yet she's at the top.
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Dec 19, 2008 2:10:32 PM CST
Hero is a piece of shit. You disappoint me Kung.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Sorry I don't give a fuck about the complexity of Jet's character as he floats around with MC Hammer pants.
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And no one was saying anything about limiting your enjoyment to one kind of fight scene. Zeddemore and Pillow both agreed with me that ballet wire-fu sucks massive balls and there is nothing tough about it. There are still 84 other styles of fight scenes that rock. The only thing I limit with my opinions is the weak ass shit my eyes have to experience. If I wanted to watch something as pussy as a Hero fight scene, I'd turn on Golden Girls. -
is probably one of my favorite stand up albums I have heard since high school. Patton Oswalt is so damn funny, and it's just all the more hilarious because of how relatable he is as this sort of nerdy, comic book fan that just loves Star Wars and movies. I'll never forget when he makes the joke about his jock son growing up to throw his "Blade Runner replica gun" on the roof, and my first thought was, "Damn, a Blade Runner replica gun would be sweet."
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She was ALWAYS on top.
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Yeah, I don't understand their reasoning either but it's a done deal. I've moved on. If someone doesn't like wire-fu, then there's nothing else to say.It's like me and movie violence. I can watch heads explode and limbs ripped apart in Rambo but that stuff just disgusts me in torture porn. So I need to have my violence and gore in a certain context to enjoy it. I realize that Danny and Mr. Z need their fights a certain way as well.And a lot of those fights from 80s movies probably aren't as tough as we remember them but we still see them through the eyes of a 10-12 year old so we cut them slack. I've been working my way through the James Bond collection and I remembered the fights being a lot tougher as a kid. By contrast to the Bourne movies, they actually have very little brutality, but I still love the movies because of the charm.Thanks for having my back though. I thought some of the fights in Fearless, while unrealistic, were brutal as hell.
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limit-(verb)to restrict by or as if establishing limits, like, oh I dunno, not watching a movie because you don't think a fight is "tough"You are limiting yourself. There's really nothing wrong with that. I personally watch very little romantic comedies or contemporary holiday movies.But when it comes to ass-kicking, I accept all types and colors. If you wanna limit your action movies to just 84 kinds of ass-kicking, suit yourself. HOD and I can just sit in our corner and enjoying the sweet pleasure of 100%, completely un-LIMITed asskickery.I love Seagal, but he's not believable, especially in his later stuff. It's hard to think someone's tough if you don't believe them as a character. My money's on Estelle Getty any day of the week.
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I think that's what set me off. It really deserves a lot more credit. Even if it had a couple of wire-stunts, Jet Li was believable. The fights had impact and they worked really well for me, especially the one in the restaurant. And I loved the Japanese guy at the end. It was cool seeing him in Red Cliff too. I fucking love that actor in everything he's in and I have no clue who he is.
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Dec 19, 2008 2:27:07 PM CST
I'm the first to admit that Hero disappointed me
by hawaiian organ donor
I had trouble getting through that one.And I'm willing to admit I'd rather see Jet Li in something like The Warlords where there's no wire-fu and it's just straight out battlefield violence.
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was the message at the end. The movie is definitely not an action movie perse, but the Jet li vs. Donnie at the beginning is still pretty cool.
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regardless of the "sacrifices made for communism" message at the end, it represents the beginning of the Jet Li acting renaissance in China. Since I saw that movie, Jet Li has been coming out with some great Chinese movies where his acting is just as good as his fighting. Hero, Fearless, Warlords. It's a great thing. Too bad Jackie never caught on to that part. He came close with he first Police Story with the trial. scenes.
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All my friends and family thought it was superb. So it got plenty of love.The Japanese guy is Nakamura Shido and he was excellent in Letters From Iwo Jima and Yamato as well.
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Ok. I liked Crouching Tigers FLAMWING DRWAGON! I really did some of the stuff was silly. But I really did like some of the fights and thought they were bad ass. My problem with Fearless was that it was suppose to be a bio film on some level so I thought they would go for more realism. And Hero and Shanobi I just didn't care about the fights because I was bored with the movie, and Shanobi killed off like half the cast before the big brawl at the end making it very lacking. Plus Shanobi had very short fights. Another wire fu I really like because I the shit Fu said earlier is that one I can't remember the name. one sec BRB.
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Dec 19, 2008 2:43:18 PM CST
The fight in Eastern Promises...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
was pretty brutal and realistic.By brutal I mean Viggo stabbed a dude in the eye and by realistic I mean Viggo's dong was flopping about.
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That was the movie. I even bought it, I like Yimou Zhangs work. I need to see Curse of the Golden Flower. I really liked Red Sorghum as well. Just thought Hero was really lame, and the million arrrow attack was really stupid, but the final shot were you saw the outlines of the bodies was pretty amazing.
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I even thought Eastern Promises was lame. I didn't find it brutal at all, nor did I liked History of Violence.
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Is working with John Cusack again. God is 1408 wasn't bad enough. Now they are making a movie called Shanghai set in the 40s. Go back to Sweden and bring the invasion guy and wanted guy back to Europe with you.
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I thought both were great. I'm not really a huge fan of stylized kung-fu and all that. I'd much rather a meat n' potatoes throw down. In the case of Eastern Promises, I could've done with the actual meat n' potatoes though.
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Dec 19, 2008 2:54:03 PM CST
What happened to that Cusack/De Bont flick?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
That promised to be the stupidest film of the year!
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Movies both seem like they were really good pilots for an HBO show. I fished them went to the special features and looked to see if they had the second episode on the disc. Then when it didn't I went to my netflicks account to make sure I had added the whole series to my queue. Then when I realized that it was just a movie not a TV show, I throw up green shit, just like Jeff Goldblum did in the Fly and wished David would make good movies again.
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where is De Bont's movie version of Meg?
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Joshua with my lady friend last night and at first she was like. Meh it was ok, then she had a bad nightmare! And I was like yes! It worked, then she realized how good that movie really is, how it stays with you and is very haunting. If you haven't seen it, the movie Joshua about the evil kid is very good. Yeah its been done a million times before but this is a very good version of it. Now I am watching a low budget movie called Joshua that is not very good nor very scary.
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Is it quitting time already?
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Sucked fucking balls. I went through a very horrible stage where I was weak minded enough to rent both Hero and Flying Daggers in the same week. Dear god that was the worst week of my fucking life. Don't those people get bored doing the same shit over and over? Imagine how fucking dull that would be to be a camera operator on that shit. Jesus.
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Dec 19, 2008 3:10:45 PM CST
Flying Daggers is the one with that love story...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...we're supposed to give a fuck about, right? Where they show the different perspectives?
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Flying Daggers on UMD!!! Hahahaha i should really sell my PSP to someone I need the money and needs attention. Why oh why do I have that and a Wii. I never play video games anymore.
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now that is a weak wire-fu movie. that ending where you find out all the different little conspiracies. Oh man, so bad.
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that one bothered me a lot too. The costumes and cinematography were beautiful, but the characters had no humanity and the whole thing was way too soap opera-ish to get into at all.
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but if the story is good, and the movie has some integrity, meaning if it's dumb fun it's dumb fun, and if it's drama, it's drama, then I can enjoy it. Most of the time I think it's just lazy. When it's used to elevate the story, like in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, it can make for really good cinema.
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Except for Crouching Tiger and Hero (which was pretty shit). Subtitles I can handle. Subtitles and backflips? Not so much.
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hahaha Series bought a PSP. Remember when Harry kept trying to sell that shit to everybody, talking about how cool it was. So did he just lose interest?
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a folk tale with a philosphical message. A fairy take with a spill about communism at the end. I don't know what else to say. You like it or you don't. I still remember seeing it for the first time and just being blown away. The use of colors and the way the story is presented and changes as the plot progresses blew me away. At the very least, it's unique film making. I wish it could get more credit with you guys. Ah well, win some, lose some.
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Dec 19, 2008 3:50:15 PM CST
I got a free PSP when I got a phone...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
and sometime in the year 2006 it got stolen. I have no idea when. That's how much I used it.
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As a story I was bored.
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Liked the few games I have for the PSP. But after buying it my circumstances changed and I was at home all the time, not traveling. So I found it furstrating to wait for load times. I keep telling myself I'll play it more, but I never do I just keep watching TV. Seriously in like 5-10 years DVR/TiVo addiction will be a real thing.
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you didn't like how the Emperor and the hero were having conversations and the story kept changing? what about the evolution of Broken Sword's character?
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and Wii has Zelda, so I can't really slight either of the two that much. I have had the same ps2 since before high school.
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Did anyone mention, as well as the stripey shirt and beret, he should also have a string of onions around his neck and ride a bicycle?And speak like this: "Hoh-hee-hoh-hee-hoh."That sounds better than it spells out.
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I'm sick of that silly twat flying out of his advert and deliberately slowing this page down. Very close to putting me boot through the monitor.
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I quite liked CTHD but I was more in tune with the dramatic content, not the fighting. The rooftop chase and the balancing on branches stuff didn't work for me. It may be that I don't get the Asian style because I haven't seen enough of it.But I really liked the end when Yun Fat is poisoned and Yeoh is sat watching him while Ziyi is off looking for the antidote. Powerful. In fact there's such a powerful longing between Yeoh and Yun Fat throughout the whole film.I just need to get over my aversion to wire-fu.
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Till I'm all caught up on my Smallville. Why am I watching this show. I already went through High School, and it was more exciting then this. Ohhhhh I've wasted my life.
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both bored the hell out of me. I liked the Zhang Ziyi vs Michelle Yeoh fights and Ziyi beating everyone up in the restaurant, but other than that I didnt give a crap, the skipping around on treetops was so fucking lame. And Hero was a bit more interesting story wise, but I barely remember anything except the too brief Jet Li vs Donnie Yen fight. So needless to say I didnt bother with Flying Daggers. If I want cool wire-fu in a great action movie, I'll watch Tai Chi Master or something like that.
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Désolé, mais c'est vraiment pitoyable!
Those online translator are good enough to give you the gist of some text, but they translate everything to the direct definition, so slang is lost along the way and makes little sense.'p"
for exemple, Danny's "kicked in the fucking balls" would be translated as "botter dans les putains d'couilles" and not whatever the machine said. You could also say "latter les couilles" like on the french version of South Park. Swear words are tricky because they're not always the same from one language to the other, so sometimes a direct translation doesnt have the same meaning. The usual 'fuck you' or 'go fuck yourself' arent really used in french, it would instead be 'va chier' (go shit) and 'va te faire enculer' (go get fucked up the ass) And that shall do for today's lesson. -
You slimy french scum Milf, you.
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merely french-canadian, and we hate the France french as much as everyone else, and they hate us right back.
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Even worse French Canadian. May as well said that your where the guy who decided that the McRib would not be a part of the everyday menu at McDs.
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That the werewolf of Pairs is in Son of Anarchy. As a Lawyer. Anyone remember that movie?
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Tom Everett Scott. At least its not on his IMDbizzle list. Though one episode was directed by Bad Assss him self Mario Van Peebles.
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how quickly his career did go nowhere after That Thing You Do!
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there's a talkbacker who keeps posting stuff about Paul Blart: Mall Cop in every tb... he must have a serious mancrush on Kevin James.
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To his defense. Does have probably one of the best PG rated stand ups ever. Its on Comedy Central every couple of months, check it out. Its something you can show your mum.
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I actually watched the King of Queens for a while back when I was watching a lot of crap, and I saw bits of his stand up too, he's a funny guy. I didnt see Chuck and Larry, and I dont really plan to either, it looked awful.
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If they cut out the nonsense, dumb shit and goofy crap from both attempts at making a Hulk movie, slam them together, you'll have a great Hulk movie. Instead of what we have now, one that's rather uneven and not all that good and one that is somewhat OK.
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Yea, I like most of it. I love the older stuff, and I found CTHD to be great when it came out, but what makes that movie great has little to do with the stunts when it's all said and done. Of course, I liked Hero and Flying Daggers, and Curse of the Golden Flowers and Fearless and Jade Warrior and Ashes of Time. I guess I have wuxia films, and Danny has Martin Lawrence movies. It's all good.
:)
But enough of this silly banter. I just saw The Good, the Bad and the Weird and despite it being insanely entertaining, and probably the best action film I've seen all year, it has an action scene that feels like an extension of that great attack on the convoy scene at the end of Road Warrior. Seriously. -
Lambasted with Smallville all night. Capping the night off with Louis C. K.'s new stand up special. Finally something funny that's suppose to be funny.
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Dec 20, 2008 2:01:06 AM CST
Martin Lawrence? When the fuck did I say I liked him?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Dec 20, 2008 2:03:53 AM CST
I think I mentioned enjoying Black Knight, and his show.....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....now I LOVE HIM!! hehehe. Thats like the Regarding Henry thing. I say its a good movie once and then it becomes my favorite film of all time. HELL YEAH! Harrison Ford = PUSSY MAGNET Oh the orgies he would have on Air Force One.
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being a pussy magnet is that he ends up with Calista Flockart. He needs to recalibrate that magnet.
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that was me being tongue in cheek(but not your cheek I swear). It's what happens here. You pop and declare Jarv like McCain for liking Frenchie Hulk, and then we call you out for inexplicable things you said three months ago.
It's the talkback afterall. It' all in good film.
Now write me a disertation on why Blue Streak is a modern masterpiece. -
anyone here see Christmas Evil? Saw it last night for the first time. Brilliantly wierd.
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Yatta!
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Never heard of it?
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Just watched that new Louise C. K. stand up. And its got Patton beat, so does his last one. He is the king of stand up and funny as shit. Shameless and Chewed Up, great shit.
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Has anyone seen this yet? Its fucking nuts. http://tinyurl.com/a352tf Its a fucking triceratops you ride.
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That is all.
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dammit, why am I too old for something cool like this?
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Rain, rain, effing rain. That's all it ever effing does. It doesn't look Christmassy and I don't feel Christmassy.Watched 'Tears Of The Sun.' It was all right, I suppose. Would've improved had a Predator turned up midway through. Then Bruce could've said something along the lines of "You lose it out here, you're in a world of hurt..."My football team lost. Again. I'm drinking tequila.
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Fan-fucking-tastic movie, and probably Bogart's best acting.
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Have you seen 'The Caine Mutiny'? I'm gonna hold to that one as his best. But you're right, 'The Treasure Of Sierra Madre' is pretty good.
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We're due a new Twitch TB on Christmas Day. Don't think checking AICN on the 25th will be a high priority - I'll be drunk as a skunk.
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I've never seen a drunk skunk. Where did that saying come from?
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"Pissed as a fart." What the fuck does that mean? A fart's a fart, there's nothing "pissed" about it.
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This is top.http://tinyurl.com/93obf2Dean Martin v Foster Brooks. Absolute genius!
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I was completely wankered, sat at a table with a couple of mates. I swear this is true. I'm sat there, right, all of sudden I get a touch of the old Space 1999's, the room starts tilting and I'm thinking 'Whoo I'm really hammered...'Then a bloke standing at the bar beside me fell over!You'll love this, I said to him "Sorry mate, that was my fault!" Then I promptly fucked off in a state of addled confusion! My two mates were pissing themselves at my expense, apparently. Twats.
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... in that Scriptgirl Tb? Tis most irritating. I can't catch the buggers up!
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The men in white coats will come to take me away in a minute.
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It's bed time.Goodnight.
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I wish the fucking holidays were over already. I'm not feeling festive at all this year.
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When you can't get the watchmen nerds to go nuts in a TB by posting stupid things about the funny book? It's not a world I want to live in that's for sure. The nerds are eating themselves in that TB.Maybe I can piss off some Cameron people in that TB?
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How goes party peeps?
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*Fred cracking knuckles*
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Dec 21, 2008 11:53:37 AM CST
Ninja Fred on top secret mission to recusi...resusce...pump up
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
This TB
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Dec 21, 2008 11:54:21 AM CST
This will have to be a rapid Ninja Fred job
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Steelers game coming on soon
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Dec 21, 2008 11:56:10 AM CST
Toadkillerdog's Giants vs Hawaiian Organ Donor's Panthers
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Should be a great game. Fred has been absent so missed any possible smack talk between those two.
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Dec 21, 2008 11:57:33 AM CST
Fred hopes Just Pillow Talk's J-E-T-S win
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Fred would not like to see a grown man cry
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Dec 21, 2008 11:58:37 AM CST
Few more posts and we will be back in top five
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Fred must type faster
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Typing as fast as he can
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But game almost starting
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Fred will try and check in later
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Your boys are not playing too well today.
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Planet B-Boy. Pretty good little documentary. Didn't realize that it was made back in 05. If you like break dancing then its a most watch. Otherwise not a must see doc.
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Steelers stunk out the joint. Fred is distraught.
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and the two I'm most looking forward to are Yatta and Written.Eyeborgs could be cool, but the trailer was already boring me. Trejo needs to fuck off on all projects until he finally makes Machete.
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It is down again
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*Fred rolling up sleeves*
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Fred III - the revenge!
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Perhaps Toadkillerdogs pain too! Giants are getting beaten off the ball. Hawaiian Organ Donor is all smiles now
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Dec 21, 2008 8:28:02 PM CST
Fred has question - but afraid to post it in scriptgirl TB
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Why do people go into the scriptgirl TB to complain about the scriptgirl TB? Why not simply avoid it if it upsets folks so much?
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Dec 21, 2008 8:28:58 PM CST
Just a few more posts and we should be comfy until
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Morning crew shows up
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So Fred will just give it anyway *pthhhppp*
Dirk made a killing in the stock market while everyone else was losing, by selling short. But typical of Dirk, he got greedy, and lost it all betting on dung beetle futures. Or was that beetle dung futures? Either way, he is broke and once again hiding out from investors that he bilked out of billions. -
Dec 21, 2008 8:38:03 PM CST
Well, Fred had better go before he gets banned
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Ooo, Giants just broke big run!
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Dec 21, 2008 8:42:36 PM CST
Fred was at Circuit City and saw a Blu Ray
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Dark Knight on a Sony LCD. Fred fell in love. There is a definite difference in quality and picture sharpness between the Sony brand and everyone else. Ok, Fred is done plugging Sony and Blu Ray. Fred not want to start a flame war!
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Dec 21, 2008 9:28:25 PM CST
FIGHT DAMN YOU!!!!! FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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I never bet the Fett man. http://www.amazon.com/Star-Wars-Potato-Disney-Exclusive/dp/B000Y1IJX0/ref=pd_sim_t_4
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What fucking Circuit City were you at? I was at a CC today and it was like vultures, they were selling the phones from the building and the product stands. I was surprised that there wasn't a price tag attached to the big circular logo on the facade on the front. Also this store is less then a year old. I bet the land lord is pissed.
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Dec 21, 2008 10:53:06 PM CST
my Circuit City is rockin this Christmas as well...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....they're doing just fine. And they got a couple of fine ass females in the car stereo department. Latinas with some serious fucking ass.
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has already descended into an argument over Superman Returns?I'm not even gonna check. Though I do want to see that movie.
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Where people are taking shots at 300 for being the film it was always advertised as.
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Dec 22, 2008 3:33:50 AM CST
What are the chances of me ressurrecting this TB?
by franklin t marmoset
Slim, I reckon. Slim.Christmas week and whatnot. Only the prize chumps are at work this week. That is me, by the way. I am the prize chump.
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Fuck Monday mornings. I can't be expected to spell stuff on Monday mornings.
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of course I also live at my work so what kind of chump does that make me? I'll tell you what kind, I'm the idjit that lives and works 7000 miles from home. Chumps? I'm the fucking lord and master of chumps.
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This should be the time of staying at home, eating twiglets and mini cheddars and small, mint-flavoured chocolates, and watching some kind of crappy film about Christmas.
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I saw in the paper this morning there's one on Channel 5 this afternoon starring the ginger lawyer out of The Practice. She gets a boyfriend for Christmas or somesuch.I should be watching that!
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By the way I've got a bone to pick with the British. Specifically the British army field rations. Do you people still use left over rations from WW1? because I've been out in the field with the Brits quite a bit lately and your rations stink, literally they reek.
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That's not the fat one is it? Please tell me it's the super hot one named Kelly something? She was smoking hot on a two episode stint of Scrubs.
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The one who had about three different serial killer stalkers.I'm not sure what's more embarrassing - my ongoing Gilmore Girls fandom, or my previous life as a closet fan of The Practice...
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Dec 22, 2008 5:19:38 AM CST
Fuck I ate logging in with this handle!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
What the fuck was I thinking!?
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Hard to describe. Fuck knows what they're made of, but they taste of Marmite, and it is impossible to eat just one. You really have to have at least a million.Sorry, Xiphos. Given the time of day, I just assumed you were English.
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...that makes me want to cram a never-ending stream of snack foods into my mouth?I'm going to be fat as fuck by this time next week.
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I'd advise you to re-register, but I'm not sure if you can any more.At least, I tried to re-register as Frank Marmoset a week or so back and I couldn't find anywhere on the sire that would let me do it. That could be because I'm an idiot, though.You do seem to have some kind of record for underscores.
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Dec 22, 2008 5:34:34 AM CST
Most Christmas films are fucking awful!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Treacly shit that slaps you around with it's bullshit "message".The only good christmas films are the ones SET at christmas, but not specifically ABOUT christmas. Flicks like Bad Santa, Die Hard, The Ref.Ok, a classic tale like "A Christmas Carol" is acceptable.The motherfuckers who make those bullshit TV movies about a down on her luck fucking orphan who regains her christmas spirit and finds a new mummy and daddy should be shot and buried in a shallow grave.Did I mention Bah Humbug? No?BAH FUCKING HUMBUG!
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I did look for it once, and couldn't find it. I can think of 10 way better, simpler handles than this fucking one. Rookie mistake.Oh, and if you re-register you need to register as Frankie Marmoset. Realise your potential, buddy!
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Now that is an acceptable christmas movie. Set at christmas, but not about christmas. It's pretty bloody dark, has a good "message" and only gets treacly at the end, by which time it's earned it.
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But I'd rather be at home watching some garbage TV movie and stuffing sausage rolls into my face until it becomes uncomfortable to maintain a sitting position and I have to lie down.That is what Christmas is all about.P.S. Balls to you, Droidie.
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Bad Santa, Die Hard, Gremlins, Lethal Weapon, and Batman Returns (still the best Batman film).I used to like Nightmare Before Christmas, but the emo kids have ruined that one for me.
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Disgusting in theory, delicious in reality.
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set around christmas?
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Jesus Christ, people here at work really love that X-Factor version of Hallelujah. They're all nuts for it, and when I say my favourite version is Jeff Buckley's they look at me like I'm nuts. I'm the crazy one because I like the version by the guy who sounds like he's singing from his heart, not belting out some anonymous cod R&B crap?At what point did people start demanding that all their music be plastic and shallow and bellowed by bland members of the public?I don't get it.
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Dec 22, 2008 6:38:40 AM CST
There is only one version of Hallelujah.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Written by Leonard Cohen. Performed by Jeff Buckley.No other versions exist.And Frankie, I'm in danger of mass generalising here, but...People are fucking idiots.
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They serve up the same anodyne garbage year after year, and they actually have the audacity to make a virtue out of slapping this phoney music together while people watch for entertainment!And people suck that shit up! They can't get enough! "Give us more, Simon Cowell! Give us more crap, but could you possibly make it little more bland?"Shit, I'm losing my Christmas spirit here.
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Dec 22, 2008 6:43:15 AM CST
Oh, and I agree. Fuck X Factor!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
The amount of absolute horseshit "water-cooler" chat about fucking X factor at my work is disgusting. I've never watched one show. I have no idea who the fuck people are talking about. It pisses me off! How do so many people have so little to do on saturday night? Get a life you fuckheads! Fuck them all!HA! I'm saying fuck a lot today!
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Thanks, droid.It's lunch in a minute. I'm going to put all this fucking X-Factor business aside and get back into Christmas mode, but it's going to be hard. If only there was some way for me to watch Die Hard. Or maybe Gremlins. Either of those two should do the trick.
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It was just okay, and Keanu REALLY didn't want to be there. No great acting on his part like firing a gun in the air yelling AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH! That was what the film was missing. I did enjoy the death by shovel scene however.Hawaiian, I watched Shinobi as well, and once I realized it was like a superhero type movie, at least all the Shinobi had special powers, it was pretty cool.
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Each week, I will take various poops. A panel of celebrities - such as Jodie Marsh, Christopher Biggins, and that twat out of East 17 who ran himself over - will offer their opinions on the different poops based on size, consistency, etc. The public then vote for which poop will go through to the next round.The final will be when the most popular of the poops (ie, the poop that is most bland and inoffensive and reminiscent of some other poops people are already familiar with) will be turned into a sandwich that the public can buy from up Tescos.Guaranteed hit, I reckon.
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Fucking Brett fucking Favre, you dirty mutha fucker. You fucking blow. Fucker.Eric fucking Mangini. You fucking need to have your fucking ass fucking fired. I'm fucking holding you fucking personally fucking responsible for the fucking atrocious fucking playcalling. Second fucking series of the fucking game, the fucking Jets are fucking driving, 2nd and fucking 5, and you call a fucking pass play?? Fucking run the fucking ball! What the fuck happens? Three fucking penalties in a fucking row. Momentum fucking dead. Never get a fucking good drive going until the fucking end of the fucking game. Fuck ya all.
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The NFL blows in general. Cut the playoffs back down to only eight teams. Shitloads of teams get in that got no fucking right to even be considered: Jets, Cardinals, Broncos, Chargers, Cowboys, Eagles. Bah!
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I don't need to add anything. You guys have said it already and said it very well.
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That's what they should call your idea, Franklin.My work PC will conk, any second now. 1:30pm, the internet disappears...
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Dec 22, 2008 7:36:09 AM CST
I feel this thread is full of fucking Christmas cheer
by just pillow talk
Fucking ho-ho-ho!
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To much crotchetyness this morning, not enough Christmassyness.I blame X-Factor and the lack of any diet Pepsi in the vending machine. But that is all going to change this afternoon. For some reason.
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I can least take solace in the fact that Hawaiian's Panthers chooooooooked big time. Eleven point lead...poof! Did the Bucs' D switch with Carolina's? Yikes.
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It was only $4 at Target. Bah, my stupidity!
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HOHOHO
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I know bugger all about your American football, but I am also a little bummed that Evander Holyfield lost at the weekend. This could finally be the end of the road for the Real Deal.Mind you, since he appeared to be fighting that troll out of Lord Of The Rings, a loss was to be expected.Seriously, the WBA, what the hell are you doing letting enormous mythical creatures hold your world title belt? That is not fair.
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Dec 22, 2008 7:47:23 AM CST
So ToadKillerDog is the only one who walked away happy
by hawaiian organ donor
Man, yesterday stunk. I like watching Tampa Bay implode at the end of the season but all these other teams falling apart in the final weeks, WTF is up with that?And John Fox is an idiot. The Panthers defense was shaky and allowed Ward to run the ball up and down the field, but who goes with running play after running play when you have the best receiver in the league?I watched The Good The Bad The Weird and it was everything I hoped it would be. Just a brilliantly made movie with some of the most ingenious action set pieces you'll ever see. So copies are going out to all you bums this week.
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I got back from Uni and had an awful cold that stopped me from having fun... but now I'm back, and am kicking ass with the writing. That, and digging on the GNN spoofs I found
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Let's get 'em! Winning bastard...
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I'm by no means a boxing fan, but I read up on his fight (can't believe he's fucking 46, crazy fucker). The mutant who holds the belt is apparently a big pussy as he has not fought the other two dudes who hold the other two belts. Boxing is very strange. Heavyweight should have one belt. WTF?
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Muy mal.
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Dec 22, 2008 7:58:24 AM CST
Yeah, I agree JPT. My team is the cowboys...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
and they're shit and don't deserve to still be in with a chance of the playoffs.
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is what the NFL wants of course. If everyone finished 8-8, it would be the NFL's wet dream, think of all the tie-breaking games to be played. Oh, what fun to have a league filled with shit teams. Bah, humbug!
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Dec 22, 2008 8:01:53 AM CST
Best line from a christmas film...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
and sums up my attitude toward christmas..."I'm on my fucking lunch break!"
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I'd like to know how much that fuck Wimmer changed from Ellroys original drafts.
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Once upon a time, there was one world title belt. Then, in the late sixties, it split into two; and in the early eighties, into three. After that, a whole bunch of greedy fuckers jumped onto the bandwagon and boxing's been an unholy mess ever since.And although Valuev is pretty much a novelty act who won't fight the other champions, fights between champions are rarities anyway. There's too much money to be made as a world champion, so most of them won't risk fighting each other unless there's a HUGE fucking pile of cash on offer.
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The Good, the Bad, the Weird is indeed a great action film. Not too silly, but with a sense of irreverence and energy that pays off. It has a tone similar to the early Indy pictures or the first Pirates of the Caribbean. It’s a western, sort of, but it’s done with the same sense of purpose that the original Leone film had. Yes, that movie is better, but they aren’t going for the same exact thing. This was top notch though, with some great fight scenes and the shaggy dog actor who plays the dimwitted father in The Host was excellent as “the weird”. The scene that has four armies being chased by one man while chasing another man as all parties converge on the location of the treasure is brilliant. And the film’s oddball score is also part of it’s charm. It snatches away best asian film of the year away from The Chaser and Red Cliff by just a hair, but snatches it away nonetheless.
Speaking of Christmas movies, has anyone seen Christmas Evil/You Better Watch Out? My wife and I were spending time with the in-laws when we came across it on On Demand(the free movies they don’t charge you for) and punched it up just for the heck of it. It was made in the early 80s and the central figure looked like Dave Thomas crossed with Bill Murray. The story you see, involves a kid coming downstairs on Christmas eve to witness Santa kissing mommy…on her thigh! Yes, it’s his dad, and apparently mommy likes it when he wears the suit and jr. sees it and it traumatizes him for life. When he grows up, he becomes this stunted man-child who wears a santa costume to bed, poses with a fake stomach in front of the mirror, and here’s the weirdest: keeps large ledgers of information on all the children in his town. These books are of course labeled Naughty and Nice. He works at a toy company where he is constantly picked on and derided. And of course he plans for Christmas eve, where he dons the outfit, the beard, packs up his “sleigh”(a white van with a sleigh painted on the side) and sets out to deliver Christmas cheer. The odd part is this isn’t a horror movie. Not one bad thing happened 40 minutes into the movie. He delivers a cache of toys he stole from his work to a hospital for special needs kids. He cheers up the hospital workers and gives the kids their toys and away he goes. Even the bad kid(who reads Penthouse) only gets a giant bag of dirt and fertilizer delivered to his doorstep. But it’s the adult haters who scorn Christmas or revel in it’s crass commerciality that get things like lead soldier lances to the eyes, or Christmas stars to the throat. And then, when the townspeople chase him with torches, and his own brother turns against him, he sets out on one final sleigh ride, the results of which baffled us as we watched it.
Best line in the movie, as he speaks to a group of children, his beard mussed, his suit sooted and his eyes leering wildly:
“Be good, mind your parents and teachers, tell the truth, and next year I’ll bring you something better than this year. But if you are bad…I’ll bring you something…HORRIBLE!!”
If you can find it, check it out guys!
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I like David Ayer very much - Training Day, Dark Blue, Harsh Times, all good films - but I don't think he wrote this one so I'm not sure whether to give it a go.Also, he's getting very repetative. Enough with the corrupt copper stories. Would it kill him to make a film about naked lesbonauts fighting werewolves on the moon?
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We've had quite the shitty weather since Friday. Almost a foot of snow on Friday, took me four fucking hours to get home (Usually about 40 minutes), got another four inches or so yesterday, and now it's 12 fucking degrees (-11 celsius). Damn!
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I watched Swing Vote the other day. It was ok, but could've easily been a sequel to Tin Cup. Costner essentially plays the same character. A bit preachy about "the importance of voting", and very unrealistic in its depiction of the presidential nominees.Funnily enough, I watched an episode of South Park afterwards that had Obama and McCain as Clooney and Pitt in a Oceans 11 style jewel heist, with the election the con. Pretty funny.
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Dec 22, 2008 8:16:23 AM CST
I'm thinking Paul Verhoeven for astro-lesbos vs. moonwolves
by just pillow talk
I haven't seen Harsh Times, any good Frankie?
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It's got a similar feel to Training Day and Dark Blue, but the lead character (Christian Bale) is a drunk, violent douche rather than a copper.It's one of Bale's best performances, I think, so if you like him it's worth a look.
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There's a guy who could go to town on a concept like lesbians Vs werewolves.Also, I reckon he'd find a way to put in some kind of inter-species lesbo on wolf sex scene. In zero gravity!
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Dec 22, 2008 8:26:56 AM CST
I do, so I think I will throw it up on the 'ol queue
by just pillow talk
And that's what I would be counting on: a big astro-lesbo wolf orgy scene at the end. Because really, how else would you end such an epic film?
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Dec 22, 2008 8:28:11 AM CST
I'm thinking I may have to bolt outta here early today
by just pillow talk
And maybe just take tomorrow off. There is absolutely no need for me to be here at any point this week. I mean, besides posting here, there's no other purpose to be at work.
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Werewolves on the Moon, there is no director better suited than Renny.If its Lesbianauts vs Werewolves, then Verhoeven is the go to guy.Personally, I'd like to see both versions.
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much like Deep Impact and Armegeddon. In fact, Deep Impact can be the working title for Astro-lesbians vs. Moonwolves.
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Just like Exorcist: The Beginning and Dominion, Verhoeven could just come in and sex it up with an alternate lesbo cut.
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If I had the option to leave early, I wouldn't have come in to work in the first place.I would still be at home! In bed!! Playing on my shiny new X Box gizmo!!!Fucking work.
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I blame work. I should really be at home watching the crappy Christmas film with the hot ginger lawyer out of The Practice.
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How's that working out for ya? I just wouldn't be able to use one of those gizmos enough to justify the cash outflow.
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It's odd that the film truest to the Stan Lee comics is such a ridiculously silly film. Great ideas, lousy execution.
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It's a tad chilly here today but not a flake of snow in sight. I put up with the blizzards and the freezing rain and the bone chilling winds and the power outages for 15 years in Nova Scotia. Never again.I feel like a chump for having to work this week.I enjoyed Harsh Times. I thought Bale and Rodríguez were excellent.
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We could go over the "physical" inventory one on one....If that doesn't define what Christmas spirit is, I don't know what does.
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The bone chilling winds blew it down to the snow covered ground and froze the bitch.
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So does your life.Fuck you Walmart.
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Viva la twitch!
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and I'll get to watch TDK again...wa-hoo! And also The Incredible Hulk and Hellboy II.
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Dec 22, 2008 8:55:04 AM CST
I just went into HMV on lunch and FUCK ME!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
A million and one motherfuckers lining up to buy the same shit you could buy last week at the exact same fucking price.Frankie, I recommend getting Call of Duty for your xbox. It's the essential game (at least on my PS3), especially if you're going to go online.
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Also, that new will smith movie 7 pounds is way weirder than I would have thought.
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I went into HMV to buy a gift card, and the amount of 'air-breathers' there was shocking. I had an excuse for leaving it late, a really bad cold... they had no excuse.
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So is it worth a look Jonah?
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Damn you Valkyrie! Damn you to hell!
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Nice little comeback win over a good team.
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Are we first again?
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Your man crush can continue with Chris Evans.
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Dec 22, 2008 9:05:33 AM CST
That Christmas Evil sounds like the....
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
perfect set up for a slasher flick.Hush now... Michael Bay may be listening.
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And my hulked out lesbian midget fucking loves it. She especially enjoys the part in Halo 3 when she gets to drive a tank around and blow the shit out of everything in her angry, angry path.You should hear her laugh when she takes out a group of aliens with one shot. It's quite scary, really
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Mephisto doesn't endorse bailouts. Thought I'd share.
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It's fun to man-crush on Chris Evans, but I always end up feeling like I'm cheating on Ryan Reynolds...
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drives up your food bill. Let's hope she doesn't SMASH your game console and tv in a fit of anger over the game.
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and he doesn't run like the pony tailed fat bastard one, so that's a plus in his corner.
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it's worth seeing, but less surprising than it thinks it is, and far more of a downer than any christmas release should be. An odd pic, but better than the last few Smith films-i.e. I Am Legend and Hancock.
It adds a new death to our repertoire of deaths. I won't mention it here for fear or ruining the film, but you see it coming from far away, and when it comes it's just as nasty as you imagined. -
I thought ahead on Saturday and got to Morrisons at five minutes after they opened so I could have a nice quiet time of it, getting all my stuff for Christmas and whatnot.But I was not as clever as I thought - the whole fucking place was stuffed to bursting with other similarly-minded early bird shoppers. It was like that scene in Aliens ("They're comin' out of the goddamn walls!") but instead of murderous xenomorphs it was people with trolleys.
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Dec 22, 2008 9:16:40 AM CST
I'd rather the murderous xenomorphs.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
At least you could shoot them.
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Since I did like most of I am Legend, even with the horrific infected, I'll give this a shot.
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Just to pick up a few last minute things. I don't know if it will be packed or not, but up until last week malls were not packed at all. Stores are hurting, to say the least here.
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Dec 22, 2008 9:42:12 AM CST
I tried to watch V For Vendetta again at the weekend
by franklin t marmoset
I remember thinking it was alright the first time I saw it, but this time I had to turn it off after twenty minutes. Awful. So heavy-handed and wory, which seems to be the Wachowski way these days.Also, fuck off, Natalie Portman, and take your English accent with you.
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Wordy.
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I am right crotchety.Fucking working at Christmas.
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That was fucking wickety-whack, yo!
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I won't stand for people being drunk while I'm stuck here at work for another hour.That is not acceptable. Not acceptable at all.
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Dec 22, 2008 10:03:56 AM CST
No, Frankie, if you were being Jarvian...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
you'd call V for Vendetta "delightful" and Natalie Portman a fucking "delight".One question for the Brits... Do americans fake english accents rile you as much as their fake Aussie accents rile me? I think Meryl Streep is a great actress, but her australian accent can fuck right off!Here's an example for you Brits... Gwyneth Paltrow.
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But Americans doing good English accents are very rare. James Marsters on Buffy (the guy who played Spike) did a very respectable accent, to the point that I find it strange to hear him speak with an American accent.As for Gwynneth Paltrow, her accent is okay. Not great, but not offensively bad like Don Cheadle in Oceans 11 or Keanu Reeves in Dracula or Christian Slater in that Robin Hood film.
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I'm not drunk... I just think the V For Vendetta GN is insane. Absolutely insane. Interesting, but crazy and barely coherent.
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Dec 22, 2008 10:17:12 AM CST
Nicole Kidman doesn't sound Australian.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
She has a bullshit international accent that borders on sounding like the fucking queen at times. I can't stand Nicole Kidman.
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All you ever hear American actors do is a vague, plummy home counties type of accent, or the ever reliable Dickvandykeian cockerny.It's like they think everyone in England is either frightfully posh or Ray Winstone.
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I don't give a shit about them. At all. I'm more annoyed by you bloody Yanks portraying us as stiff, uptight crumpet eaters.
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Niles the Butler from The Nanny?
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I don't believe you. All English folk are either like Ray Winstone or like anyone in Love Actually. No matter what you say, I will take it as false if you try and dissuade me of this thought.
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Dec 22, 2008 10:22:02 AM CST
Would you rather stiff, uptight crumpet eaters or...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Drunken, slovenly, moronic, ugly, chanting soccor thugs? Because there are a shitload of english like that.
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Perhaps if you got some sun you wouldn't be such an uptight crumpet eater...fatty!
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But more because of her face than her accent.What the hell has she done to her face?She was quite attractive when she was younger, but now she looks like her face would shatter into a million pieces if you tapped her on the forehead.
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because she does a shitty job cleaning up my place. WTF Nicole? We you come over for a little slap and tickle, I expect you to clean the pillow household. Not that difficult a concept to grasp honey.
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I think it's almost time to bail...
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Oh, go fellate TDK.
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Dec 22, 2008 10:28:33 AM CST
I like Kidman....I can't think of one bad performance.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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It's funny, I was wondering earlier what Americans thought of all the Brits pretending to be Americans.Hugh Laurie, for example, seems to do a pitch-perfect accent on House, but do Americans hear him speak and feel the same way we did every time that blonde with the great tits (forgotten her name, for some reason) spoke in From Hell?
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Batman Forever.
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How can you act when your face is a porcelain mask that never shows any expression?She used to be good, though. I like her in To Die For very much.
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I'm even going to take a bubble bath after the "deed".
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........and it fucking sucks. If anyone claims that movie is good, they are a damn liar. Its another one of those "Not so bad its funny-- almost a real movie, just not good enough to deserve viewing" movies. -
Touche.
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...she did exactly what was asked of her.
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I'm done. Kaput. Finished. No mas. Time to go home. All you bitches and hos have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I may or may not post before then, but if not, I'll see you chaps on the other side.
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Dec 22, 2008 10:33:43 AM CST
One of the stupidest things I saw in america...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
is walking through the carpark of Dolphins stadium on my way to a game and seeing it filled with generators pumping copious amounts of electricity into lcd tvs, stereo systems, fridges, bbqs etc. What the fuck is up with "tailgate parties"?Hey, I can't afford to pay for the ridiculously expensive ticket prices, but I want to be close to the action. I know, I'll drive my stupidly oversized truck to the stadium, and sit in the parking lot and watch it on my 40 inch LCD TV! Because thats much more exciting and convenient than hosting a bbq at my own house!WTF!?
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Let me guess, you saw it solo? Try seeing it with a bunch of Bruce Campbell fans.
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That witch movie with Bullock.The InvasionStepford WivesInterpreterBewitched
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No. His accent is very good. I totally buy it. Unlike Hugh Jackman's and Jude Law's. Fucking horrible. I think the best American accent I've ever heard was from Minnie Driver in Grosse Point Blank.
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To Die For Dead Calm The Others
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No. I went to the screening and Q & A here in L.A. There are probably 10 total minutes of funny. And the laughs were clearly pity laughs-- like at a cast and crew screening when its so obvious people are laughing at every single joke just to be polite.
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Dec 22, 2008 10:43:12 AM CST
Worst actor for accents is Di Caprio
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
He can't even do a fucking regional accent. Don't get me started on how shit his accent in Blood Diamond is.
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Dec 22, 2008 10:43:44 AM CST
...and I have been a massive Bruce fan since childhood.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
I've read both his books and own Man With The Screaming Brain. My Name Is Bruce just fucking sucked. -
Dec 22, 2008 10:46:35 AM CST
Although Leo is the only actor other than Tom Hulce...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
to go full 'tard an come out unscathed.Dominick and Eugene. See it if you haven't. Great film and Liotta gives his best performace (other than Goodfellas of course).
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Dec 22, 2008 10:48:24 AM CST
Bruce Campbell has become a self-parody.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Or has he always been like that?
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I was amused by the movie, but it does suck. It isn't campy enough in the right ways, but I was amused a bit. Did you say anything to Campbell after the screening, Danny?
It was crap, but it's not quite as unwatchable as Danny makes out. Man with the Screaming Brain however, is. -
he actually gave a real performance in Bubba Hotep, and here he was just scraping the last bits of fan good-will off the floor and throwing them out there, hoping they would be lapped up once more.
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The blonde with the great tits in From Hell was Heather Graham.Phew. That was really bugging me.
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Hence the red hair?
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I actually find Man With The Screaming Brain a lot more entertaining. That film is in the "So unbelievable bad its hilarious" boat. My Name is not. Its just so fucking made for TV movie feeling. At times it seriously feels like a Lifetime channel movie with a few F-bombs sprinkled in. And the gore is lame and disappointing and there is not one single moment where Bruce kicks ass and you root for him. Thats the big problem. He thought it was would funnier to make him a coward. Its not. Its just annoying and boring.
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but the movie sucked.
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I was entertained by Bruce, but honestly cannot even watch Man with the Screaming Brain without feeling sort of ill about the whole thing. Either way, the guy should be doing much better.
So what constituted funny for you Danny?
And how was Campbell after the screening? -
with each review:
"Every office has a Xerox machine, apparently so Miller could invent a scene in which Eva Mendes decides to photocopy her butt. I’m pretty sure butt Xeroxing wasn’t possible until the 60s, when Xerox actually invented the machine. In Miller’s world though, the machine must exist so that the photocopying of Eva’s butt eventually can lead to a cheesy, poorly chosen double entendre. Frank just can’t help himself" -
Most of the stuff with Bruce and his dog-- especially pouring him whiskey in his bowl. When he runs away and starts blasting townspeople...That line to the nurse hooker "Don't blow anybody till I get back." Probably funniest moment for me was Ted Raimi struggling to put the zero on the population as he slowly dies. Oh, and the song is pretty funny.
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Oh that Miller...
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....that Bruce says he pulled out of Bubba-Nosferatu because the script wasn't good enough and he's all about the script these days. What the fuck was he thinking when he signed on to this crap? Seriously...thats the best they could do involving the real Bruce Campbell fighting monsters? Fuck me. Thats horrid. If you think of the possibilities it just makes you want to weep. I just kep thinking of the end S-Mart scene in Army of Darkness. Bruce needs to get the fuck out of the director's chair. He's not fooling anyone.
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Dec 22, 2008 11:24:51 AM CST
oddly, I saw The Tale of Devereaux last night...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....and loved it. That is a very well done animated film.
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If you're cold come on over here to Africa, its 8:30 at night and like 75 degrees. You'll warm right up.
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I just hadn't heard much good on it.
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Just kidding.Soooooooooo, what's happening around these parts this wintry day?JPT, your wife may ask you to add The Women to the list. I beg you man, don't. What a bunch of self-absorbed twaddle that crapfest is.Oh, poor me. My millionaire husband is slamming the arse off Eva Mendes because I stopped blowing him years ago. Boo hoo!Oh, I'm a millionaire editor of a high profile fashion rag but I'm not hip enough and may lose my job and have to find real work. Boo hoo!Oh look, it's 4 women driving around in a Benz with a trunk full of designer crap going to a lesbo bar because we have a token lesbo in the group and we're going to suck back $50 martinis and cackle and talk about how much our lives suck because we're richer than God but our life plan isn't going according to schedule.And look, here comes the Hollywood version of a delivery room where there's no blood, everything is covered up, non-family is allowed in the room and the baby pops out after 3 pushes.Who comes up with this shit?Fake/poor accents don't bother me at all. I don't know what the problem is. So long as the dialogue is good, who cares how it sounds coming out?
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That's the frustrating thing about the movie. It had the potential to be a great movie. Neo had a couple of good moments in it but mostly, like noted above, he was picking up a paycheck.
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Yeah I really liked it. I've been so burned out on animated films lately all seeming so damn formulaic and quirky and cute. This is not that. its a pretty bizarre movie with a ton of characters and some weird fanciful elements. I thought the human animation was great, much better than anything Pixar has done as far as human design goes. And the photography was some of the best I've seen in a CG film. Great dull desatured hues and some sweeping crane shots. The action is surprisingly tense. There is no cute shit. Death is an actual threat. The rats are awesome! The Rat World has a great Mad Max wasteland sort of feel and the head rat guy voiced by Frank Langells is sort of a Deacon of the Deez. The movie kicks real ass. And its not surprise it wouldn't get glowing reviews. Its not cute and cuddly, and I have no fucking clue what the theme or message is. It really is just about a mouse with a lot of courage that wants to be a hero one day and he gets the opportunity and takes it. Oh yeah...and there is a moment when the kingdom banishes the rats and start sealing up their holes and force them into the sewers that is really fucking sad. Its raining and you get these holocaust sort of images of lines of families with a hobo bag of possessions going into the holes and being sealed up. Pretty cool.
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There is no stupid comical/cute moment when a mouse or rat first speaks and someone screams "YOU CAN TALK!!" and bumps their head and a falls over or some shit. I'm tired of that bullshit. From the beginning rats/mice/humans all co-exist and speak to one another.
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it's like Danny's declaration of Despereaux as good haulted us all. I'm lookin' forward to it. I'd love to see someone do a big-budget Redwall film though. That would be fantastic.
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I thought it was coming out on Christmas day. hmmm... that's a dilemma, I want to see it, but I've also yet to see Bolt in 3D. Maybe I'll just make a day of both sometimes this week.
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Yeah....my declaration rocked the pillars of heaven, just like the announcement of Guy Ritchie and Madonna's divorce caused in earthquake in L.A. some months back.
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Dec 22, 2008 4:15:52 PM CST
The Tale of Despereaux -- DGDB'S BEST FILM OF 2008
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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http://vimeo.com/2539762
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RUN! DESPEREAUX RUN!
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Of course Xiphos hasn't seen very many movies that came out after June of 08.Xiphos did finaly see the Dark Knight. Xiphos will state for the record that TDK was catigorically better then Batman Begins, but that movie sucked harder then a tranny hooker on rent day.As far as TDK, there was all to much geek ball slathering going on with the Dark Knight, it was decently okayish. TDK really should have been called Joker, in smaller lettering, guest staring that goofy voiced guy that is overwhelmed by his fetishes and goes out in public dressed like a filthy flying rodent.
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don't bother me either. But if an actor is trying to essay a particular accent I'll focus on it a bit more.DiCaprio started all right in 'Blood Diamond' with his 'Sith Ifri-car' accent, but wound up all over the place. Good effort, though. But someone should've stopped Heather Graham in 'From Hell.' That was distracting.I think Angelina Jolie does a decent English accent.
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I guarantee a few weeks into production someone told him seth effrekens pronounce ABOUT as A BOOT and refer to each other as Bru. Because a boot 20 minutes into the fucking film, out comes the Bru this and Bru that. Everyone all of a sudden is his fucking Bru. One of the many reasons why I hate that film.
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I on the other hand found that amusing and started calling my friends brew instead of bro, it stuck and now we all do it from time to time...carry on
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hammered shite. Fuckin bad cold, just in time for Christmas. Shitbox ballsacks.
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Dec 22, 2008 5:01:04 PM CST
what the fuck is Leo's new movie a boot anyway?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
It looks boring as shit. Two people sitting on a bed crying the whole fucking time? I don't wanna relive the night I lost my virginity. Fuck that.
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At first, I didn't realise "brew" was Leo's version of "bro." Didn't know what that was about at all. I thought he was offering to make everyone a nice cup of tea.I thought the movie was okay.
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Dec 22, 2008 5:05:18 PM CST
When you meet enough cockhead Saffa's...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
the term gets very irritating very quickly. My old boss was a saffa and he used it in every second sentence. I think it grinds me like no other term. It's like nails on a chalkboard.
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I watched the trailer and all it showed was Leo chain smoking and looking like he was trying on daddys clothes.He was trying to pull off middle aged, but he just looked like he should be smoking behind the bike sheds with the other greasers.
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Droid-- you're English too? And the odd thing about Leo is he still looks miscast in his fucking roles like he's too young! The guy is gonna be 50 fucking years old and he'll still look weird playing a grown up.
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And Revolutionary Road is the send off movie?
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A collection of Charles Bukowski's poetry. This guy is like the manliest poet ever, and I'm sure most of you guys would love his stuff as much as I do. He's a bit sexist at times, but he loves booze and redheads, a man after my own heart.Also I got Robocop and Memento for under 15 dollars total. Great fucking finds. I still can't decide which one to watch tonight.
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Yes, it felt good watching my Jints finally play like they should. I am still dreaming of a Manning vs Manning SuperBowl. The hype alone will cause the Earth to heat up my about ten degrees, melting polar ice caps and bringing on doomsday! heh heh heheh. I am unable to join youse guys during daylight fr a few more weeks. Extremely busy these days with newer responsibilities. hey Fred, keep your head up dude. The Titans will get whats coming to them for stomping on the Terrible Towel. That is mucho bad juju. Remember T.J. Houshmanzadeh when he disssed the Towel? The Bengals have not won a game since (weill almost) The Steelers shall return.
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at least the Steelers and Titans are in the playoffs.
Fucking Saints are the worst team to root for.
Oh wait, I forgot I get to root for Brees to beat Marino's single season passing record. Yeahhh! That makes everything aaalllll better.
Fucking shit-filled titties!!!! -
Yeah de Saints be bad dis year mon. No way Carolina gives up 402 yards in the air. He might get 3 fitty 360. But 402? No, I want Marinos record to mean something, if it is broken let ot be broken by a winning team's QB
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I want him to fall one-yard shy of the record.
I want them to trade Reggie Bush while he still has some value, as McCallister is on the downside of his career. -
But he is a damn good punt returner! Still, they need accept what he can and can not do. Sort of like Herschel Walker. Herschel was the second or third greatest college back I ever saw. Behind Dorsett and maybe Bo. But he never really established himslef in NFL as a runner. But he was awesome as a multipurpose back. That is what Bush is. But because so much money is invested in a number one pick, they refuse to accept it.
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He is an explosive return guy, but so is Devin Hester.
But the difference is that Hester can do other things, Bush is just not an every down back like they want him to be. -
There are players in the NFL or coming who can not be slotted into stereotypical roles. Vick was one. Perhaps VY is another (jury still way put on him) Bush is another. Tebow will really put a strain on talent evaluators. I love Tebows game. he is simply an awesome athlete. But not a great throwing QB. But he is such a talent that someone must find a way for him to make an impact.
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I never heard of it.
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How are you dong dude? Finally saw TDK, huh? You seemed a bit underwhelmed.
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Dec 22, 2008 9:20:31 PM CST
It is a South Korean version of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
by chittychittygangbang
Supposed to be very good. I watched the trailer and it is fucking amazing.
Guy walks in and shoots a pair of guys and then says "No one move!" so some guy is getting up and gets blown away. Fucking hell yeah.
Also, some guy says another is the best fighter in all of Manchuria and the other guy says "Just Manchuria?"
Check out the camera work in the trailer as it draws you tighter into the action. The location shots look impressive too. -
I want to see The Punisher - I hope it is still out.
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Dec 22, 2008 9:27:26 PM CST
I will have to wait for Punisher:War Zone on dvd
by chittychittygangbang
I don't think it was out around here for very long.
We only get wide release movies and I have to drive 25 minutes to see them.
So fuck, I wait for dvd like Equinas waits for new horses to enter the stall. -
I wonder if he realizes the legend he has become. NEIGH!!!!! How is the job Chitty? Have you had a hot dog launcher aimed at your glory hole recently?
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You seen that Matt Dillion movie? It was pretty good, nothing that memorable.
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Yeah Death Race just came out on DVD, and it didn't go right to Long wait on Netflixs. So it should be an easy to rent, so Trainsporter 3 and War Zone should be coming out soon in a cheapie two pack.
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Have to work friday nights and all day Saturday right now.
I started an 18-up basketball league to give the young adults something to do on friday nights and saturdays.
It will be over in january, but we will start the kid's league up then.
It really isn't too hard of a job, but it is long hours and I hate it when I have to schedule a nine-team division instead of an even number. Makes things so unbalanced. -
A must see. Surprised that it has not recieved more love by CoC
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Should be good beer-drinking doubleheader.
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You are doing very good work. Work that leaves a lasting impact on young adults. That is fantastic Damn I think I am starting to suffer from early nset of alzheimers. Can't even spell 'hear' correctly (talking about prior post). Anyway aboot time I hit the sack. Chat with youse later
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Dec 22, 2008 10:05:27 PM CST
Toad...I was trying to get everyone pumped for Punisher...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....nobody bit. Not even me. Hehehe. I wanted to see it, just haven't gotten around to it. Sadly its out of the theater here already. Fuck.
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Dec 22, 2008 10:08:25 PM CST
I second that. Chitty-- you're doing great work...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...and you should be happy you have a job that actually has positive effects on others. Thats great. And Transporter 3 -- FUCKING ROCKED!! Waaay better than 2, though not as good as 1 of course.
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I wanted to go, but same as for a few other things my wallet said no. Here it's getting bumped off, from it's last few showings at late hours, for the new movies on xmas. The Wrestler is coming out so I'll definitely see that one sometime next week!
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what movie are you talking about? and what does it have to do with Charles Bukowski?
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I'm fine and yourself? Seem like the Giants are somewhat back on track.The thing with TDK was that as much as I tried to avoid the overwhelming hype, it still seeped in around the edges. For me it was mearly good not great.I am willing to stipulate that I probably need to watch TDK again. I was watching it on a TV that is on its last legs and I kept getting interupted by people and thier silly work stuff. Aren't they re-releasing it again sometime next month? I'll be back stateside by then so I'll see it in the theaters and maybe that might help.
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Factotum is the movie. And for the life of me I can't really remember. Its kind of about how Charlie can't keep a job or a girl down. Its based on his book.
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Street Kings was pretty lame. Terrible casting to begin with. Hugh Lorry playing House again. Typical cop drama. Guys really undercover cops, some of the fights are pretty brutal but nothing special.
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But the man has done a huge turnaround this year. He's been one of the best guest on all the late show circuits. Looks like we got our Tom back. Mission accomplished.
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You ever heard of a band called Fuck Buttons?
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He was a terrible, terrible choice to play Henry Chinaski.Anyone looking for a good Charles Bukowski film should check out Barfly, which Bukowski wrote himself. It's got Mickey Rourke, back before he went nuts and mashed in his own face, as Henry Chinaski, and he's very good.
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and said this about Cruise"Tom Cruise is perfectly satisfactory, if not electrifying, in the leading role. I'm at a loss to explain the blizzard of negative advance buzz fired at him for the effrontery of playing a half-blind, one-armed Nazi hero. Two factors may be to blame: (a) Cruise has attracted so much publicity by some of his own behavior (using Oprah's couch as a trampoline) that anything he does sincerely seems fair game for mockery, and (b) movie publicity is now driven by gossip, scandal and the eagerness of fanboys and girls to attract attention by posing as critics of movies they've almost certainly not seen. Now that the movie is here, the buzz is irrelevant, but may do residual damage."
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or just fuck dillon in that role?
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I'm australian. Living in London.
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He's a good actor and I've liked him in other stuff, but he was a bad choice for Henry Chinaski.Mickey Rourke uglified himself and actually made you believe he was the character (ie, a guy who spends all his time drinking and fighting and fucking), whereas Dillion was just as pretty as he always is.
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That's a good one with Matt Dillon.And To Die For, also by Gus Van Sant.Grace Of My Heart, the Allison Anders film, is another good one with Matt Dillon.
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Dec 23, 2008 3:59:33 AM CST
Jesus, why the hell am I rambling about Matt Dillon?
by franklin t marmoset
That's enough of that, I reckon.
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Dec 23, 2008 4:07:40 AM CST
Dillons two best roles are... wait for it...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Theres something about MaryWild Things
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I'm sure you will all be interested to know she is now making googly eyes at Luke again. Yes, after she dumped Luke and then immediately fucked Christopher, then ran off to Paris to marry Christopher (without telling her daughter or her parents), now she is deciding maybe she wants Luke again.What a cunt.Never before have I seen a television programme make me love a character and then, just as the series is heading toward the end, turn around and make me want to see her thrown into some sort of giant blender and turned into a mulched mess of blood and bone fragments and liquified flesh. Possibly, there will also be snot.Mr Zeddemore has promised me a cool ending, but how can a show that is broadcast on daytime television deliver the level of violence, torture and human degradation that I now demand to bring the story of Lorelai Gilmore to a satisfying conclusion? The series finale of Gilmore Girls needs to be like The Passion Of The Christ but without the restraint or I will not be happy.
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Dec 23, 2008 4:55:38 AM CST
The telly is talking about who should be the new Dr Who
by franklin t marmoset
On the one hand, I don't watch Dr Who so I don't care. But on the other hand, it should really be Wesley Snipes.Wesley Snipes should play Dr Who, but with a long leather coat and sunglasses and a sword he wears on his back and a deep understanding of how some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill. He would use the Tardis to travel around killing vampires, but the Tardis would look like an American muscle car or sometimes a motorbike. And instead of being called Dr Who, he would be called, let's say, Dr Blade.This seems like a surefire winner to me, and I can guarantee the BBC will have at least one new viewer if they take this Wesley Snipes route.
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Never seen and have zero interest in Gilmore Girls and Dr Who.
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Dec 23, 2008 5:07:59 AM CST
I just got all the Terminator tv show episodes...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
i-Sméagol-y of course. I watched a few of the first season episodes. As soon as I saw Brian Austin Fucking Green as John Connors brother, I stopped watching in disgust. I'll have to forgive it that, as supposedly it's gotten better. Well... I'll be the judge of that!
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I have successfully stopped watching that one recently.It's really bad, and it doesn't get any better.
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This is a new film about a guy - let's call him Frederick C Monkeytrousers - who goes to work during the Christmas period and finds he is bored off his ass and wishes he was at home watching some crap about a bin man who becomes Santa or a supermodel who is secretly an elf or a workaholic dad who gets cancer and learns the true spirit of Christmas.Anyway, our hero (who prefers to be called Fred, although some douches call him Freddie) ends up rambling on and on about whatever stupid crap is rolling around in his head. Really, it's just garbage on top top of garbage, all over a totally fictional website called Isn't It Great News dot com. No one cares, but he keeps rambling and rambling and rambling.The film is quite boring. Not much happens. It's a low key kind of thing, like that Gus Van Sant film which was not really about Kurt Cobain but was actually about Kurt Cobain. Then, at the end, Fred meets a hot brunette who has no interest in X-Factor, and they fuck in a scene that will go down in history as the most explicit sex scene ever filmed for a mainstream Hollywood film.Also, he kills some vampires with a sword.
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Dec 23, 2008 5:27:56 AM CST
The problem with something like the terminator...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
is it hinges on production values. While the tv show has "ok" production values, it looks cheap compared to the films. 24 has the best produciton values on tv.
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Dec 23, 2008 5:32:05 AM CST
It's a believeable tale, Frankie... Until...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
The hero actually has sex with the co-worker. It'd be more believable if he masturbated under the desk while he leered at her across the room.
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the sex scene can be included, but he would have to fork over 150 quid afterwards.
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Thats a movie I haven't seen in about 20 years! The one with Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez where they are garbo's.
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The part with the vampires is okay, but the sex scene stretches credibility.I'll have to do a third act re-think.
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It's called Wanted. It was shite.But would Vampires improve it? Quite possibly.
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I have decided they are now robot vampires.
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I have decided they are now robot vampires.
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Act I: The boring Gus Van Sant thing with Frederick C Monkeytrousers rambling away and whatnot, but without droid's suggested masturbation scene. That's just creepy.Act II - Frederick C Monkeytrousers snaps, steals the money from the office swear jar and legs it out of the building and into his time machine, which he uses to travel back to 11 February 1990 and place a bet on Buster Douglas to knock out Mike Tyson in round 10. Now fabulously wealthy, Fred travels back to December 2008 only to find the world has been overrun by robot vampires (for some reason).Act III: Armed with the fully working replica of the loader suit from Aliens he bought with some of his fabulous wealth, Fred fights and eventually defeats the robot vampires. At that point, since he is now the saviour of the world and also still quite fabulously wealthy, Fred has the sex scene mentioned earlier.That, I think, is much more believable.
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The robot vampires as products of the NHS sent out to collect blood from unsuspecting 'donors'.Freddie the office worker gets drawn into the scheme when the co-worker/hooker gets "transfused" after their night of intimacy and is framed for murder.Freddie sets out to clear his name and take down the establishment.
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My idea would be directed by Hitchcock.Your idea would be directed by Renny Harlin.
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Not that Hitchcock is not great (he is), but for some reason (dropped on head as baby, maybe) I prefer the goofy trash.P.S. Is Wanted really that bad? Part of me wants to check it out, but it keeps getting overruled by the other part of me (the one who saw Nightwatch and hated every single second of it).
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This is still the #1 talkback, even though there's only been two of us here all morning.I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
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Dec 23, 2008 6:40:05 AM CST
I didn't mean that as a bad thing.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
The artistry of Renny has its merits.Well, the thing about Wanted is that it so desperately tries to be an 80's style action movie, but also an ultra-hip action movie as well. And I found it ridiculously violent. I like violence most of the time. But this violence jsut grated me. The tone of the violence was all wrong. Like the violence in Bad Boys 2. Just unnecessarily nasty. Morgan Freeman was miscast. Jolie was fairly wasted. The only half decent thing was McAvoy.
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and we are the only two suckers working up to Eve it seems.
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I'm not making this mistake again next year.BOOK THE TIME OFF!Working at Christmas is ass.
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Wasn't that a show on telly with Vic Reeves, among others?I'm on till the Eve as well. I can't post at work and only for half an hour of lunch before the connection crashes!You guys are lucky being able to post away nilly-willy. I'm jealous. If I did it, I'd be sacked!
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those two went out for lunch. Hopefully to the boozer as a reward for their sterling turn keeping this TB going.Well played, sirs!
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I've just been given a bottle of Jack Daniels!Now that was worth coming to work for.
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... but I don't think it'll go well with the Lemsip cold capsules
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Free booze is always the best tasting booze.
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There's nothing like unexpected booze.Oh, wait, there is - DRINKING unexpected booze. Unfortunately I'm stuck here till 5:30 :(
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Blech!Later...
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I don't know. I think I'm being all colourful and original, and it turns out I'm just ripping someone off without realising it.This one time (not at band camp), we had a pub quiz team which I named 'Monkeytown Philharmonic'. I was pretty pleased with that name, but my friend insisted I had stolen it from The Simpsons (I insisted that I had not). Then, about two months later, I was watching The Simpsons and... there's Krusty the clown with an all monkey orchestra called Monkeytown Philharmonic.D'Oh!
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Just as long as it's not Monkeybone! Whoa momma! Terrible!
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Since I'm spending a week after christmas in the Spanish countryside with Mrs Droid, I've just printed out (courtesy of the work printer) the Darabont Indy 4 script and the original Tonight, He Comes script. Plus I'm reading the shining and have Suttree by Cormac McCarthy to read. And The Hobbit and LOTR. And Les Miserables. Should keep me going until NEXT christmas!
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....slaving today and tomorrow. FUCK! And I've never really seen him in much-- but for some reason I want to beat McAvoy in the face with an umbrella.
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You should have printed Indy Vs. Flying Saucer Men. Its far more entertaining. Darabont's script really isn't that different than what we saw. He's full of shit for claiming his script was so superior.
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Dec 23, 2008 9:48:46 AM CST
It's a different script? Shit!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I thought the saucer men one was the only one, so i assumed it was the same. I can't really justify printing out a whole new one!Or can i?
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Dec 23, 2008 9:52:05 AM CST
isn't the Jeb Stuart one the saucer men one?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
have you read that one?
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I must admit, I wasn't planning on reading much beyond the telly guide and the backs of beer bottles over Christmas.Reading unproduced scripts is fun, though. Anyone read Kevin Smith's Superman? It was pretty bad, but at least it wasn't a retread of the old Christopher Reeve Superman.
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Fucking hell.They better give us the afternoon off.
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But i haven't read a script for ages. I'd like to read the Kevin Smith one and the JJ Fuckhead one. I prefer to read the unproduced scripts so I can pass judgement on the finished product. It's good for my self esteem.I swear someone needs to write Werewolves on the moon though. That's one of the great unwritten scripts.
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Dec 23, 2008 10:12:29 AM CST
heres the AICN story on WOOM.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
http://www.aintitcool.com/?q=node/18947Check out what Quint says. They don't really talk like that about movies anymore. They're much more... diplomatic (is the nicest way to say it).
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I'm trying to find it right now. Fuck. I read it a year or so ago. Its actually very fun. Its nothing like an Indy movie because its Indy and some chick running around in small town 1950's being chased by aliens and Russians, but its pretty fucking cool. And for me, it actually has more Indy spirit than the Indy IV film we got, which is weird. still looking....
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Well....here is the site I got it off.
http://tinyurl.com/7hhzhk
But its not working today. The host Indiana Jones Experience seems to be down. Maybe everyone in the world had the urge to read this script over their holiday break. -
Whatever happened to Jeb Stuart? He wrote a couple of decent flicks (The Fugitive!) and the one he directed with Quaid and your namesake wasn't too bad.
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I totally forgot that movie existed. I remember it being pretty hardcore and creepy. That was his last project...in 1997!!
He's got a new one for 2009. Check out the description: -------
Tells the true story of the the 1970 murder of Henry Marrow in a rural North Carolina town by Robert Teel and his sons, the aftermath of the murder and the eventual acquittal of the Teels by an all white jury, in spite of multiple eye witnesses to the murder. -
It's not anywhere on IMDB anymore. Harlin is just finishing some film with that wrestler John Cena, and it has nothing to do with werewolves on the moon.That is destined to be one of the great lost films, I reckon.
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Dec 23, 2008 10:54:03 AM CST
Sounds like it could be good, but 1997? WTF?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
What has he been doing since then?
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Dec 23, 2008 10:54:15 AM CST
Sounds like it could be good, but 1997? WTF?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
What has he been doing since then?
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Dec 23, 2008 10:56:19 AM CST
Harlin saw our TB discussions and got pissed....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
He called up imdb, and screamed "TAKE IT DOWN!! BURN IT!! BURN IT ALL!!"
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oh, you magnificent bastard, when do we pop the lid on that bad boy? Have you ever had Gentlemen Jack? it's the black lable Jack even smoother older brother. Man do I like the old number 7 mellow Tennessee sipping whiskey.
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....maybe he's just living the sweet life off that Die Hard, Another 48 Hours, and Fugitive money.
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Dec 23, 2008 10:59:26 AM CST
Yeah, the guy who made The Covenant...
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
doesn't want his name associated with Werewolves on the Moon.
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But Maker's Mark is my preferred whiskey. Mmmmmmmm.....so damn sweet.
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...I didn't mean he said "TAKE IT DOWN" out of embarrassment. He was actually heart-broken seeing our interest in the project and the fact that he couldn't get it together. It was his last chance at greatness.
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smooth with a great mellow after taste, and I drank the hell out of it back in the day. All in all, if I still drank I got to give the nod to the Jack Daniels. That stuff is the prefered lubricant of the Gods. Oh man do I miss it.
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...with that red wax. Hehehe. You can't drink out there Xiphos?
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Can't stand sour mash whiskey.
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I don't drink anymore. In the early mid 90's on went on an epic two week bender across Europe and since then almost no booze has crossed my lips. like I said, I still miss it. This joint is awash in booze. Mostly the English detachment is the main bootleggers. They got a deal worked with the English Navy to smuggle in the hootch.
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I like my liver.
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I'd feel like a pimp of Bogie proportions.
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Dec 23, 2008 12:16:56 PM CST
Makers Mark is indeed some good shit
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I've now set myself up for a booze filled christmas with a case of Coopers (the best Aussie beer), a bottle of 12 year Glenlivet and a bottle of Bombay Sapphire Gin for a few late evening G&T's.At some stage I'll eat something.
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Go with Hendricks. Dear LORD that is good gin!
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Duly noted Hobo.If a Hobo recommends you alcohol, you take it as gospel.
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I want it to stick its dick in ME.
Seriously though you will thank me. It makes Sapphire look like kerosene and I like Sapphire.
Hendrick's & tonic garnished with a thin slice of cucumber. It will fuck your tastebuds. -
Dec 23, 2008 12:37:07 PM CST
Hobo says "AVATAR.....It will fuck your tastebuds."
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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and now your making me consider dropping more coin on this Hendricks you speak of!Damn you, Hobo! How many "gifts" can I buy for myself this christmas!
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You work for the Sunday Times don't you?“Going up in 2005, gins such as Hendrick’s with a slice of cucumber”Sunday Times Newspaper, January 2005
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Actually I hadn't seen that. I saw some dude order once at a restaurant and asked the waiter and she gave me one. Hendrick's with cucumber has been fucking my tonsils ever since.
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is making me think that I need to have a drink tomorrow night after the big Chirstmas eve poker tournement.
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with cucumber. Sounds pretty fucking good. I will report once consumed.
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From a Drudge Report provided link :
Actor Donates $100K to Phoenix Police
Valley native David Spade helps out with department's goal to provide 300 high-powered rifles to patrol officers.
Hollywood actor David Spade has given a $100,000 check to the Phoenix Police Foundation. He contacted Chief Jack Harris' office after seeing a story on Fox News Channel recently that the department was trying to find money to provide 300 rifles to patrol officers, to combat the increasingly heavily-armed gang members that they deal with.
Spade wanted to avoid the glare of the media spotlight, so he arranged to hand over the check to Mayor Gordon, Police Chief Jack Harris, Phoenix Law Enforcement Association (PLEA) president Mark Spencer, and Phoenix Police Foundation board president Marc Cavness at the Desert Horizon precinct, before media were notified. A few hours later, police held a news conference at police headquarters to announce the gift.
Chief Harris said he's been working with PLEA for several months to try and buy the rifles, but the city's budget crisis has prevented the department from reaching that goal. The AR-15 rifles the department is seeking cost over $2,000 each; Spade's gift will allow the purchase of more than 40 of the guns.
Mayor Gordon thanked Spade for his donation, and Harris commented, "Mr. Spade has stepped forward and given a gift to our officers of increased safety, is what he has really given." The chief noted that while rifles are usually issued for use by SWAT teams and other special operations, it's the patrol officers who are usually the first on the scene of a major crime, which may involve confronting heavily-armed gang members.Apparently the Phx PD wants to get gold plated rifles, over 2 large each? Screw that, you can get a basic AR-15 for about $900 each and spend about maybe another 2-400 hundred dollars in after market parts, depending on how you configure it, and turn out a great sevice carbine. It would take about about an hour and half each to slap on the after market parts.
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Yeh - a fuckin Jack Daniels! What a result. Tomorrow night is the official bottle opening, to accompany my first viewing of Hellboy 2.Not had Gentleman Jack, though - I'll keep both eyes out for that.I'm a relative newbie to JD, first had some a couple of years ago. I was expecting it to be horrible - next thing, I was transported to Sour Mash Heaven. Stayed there for quite awhile too!
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Blends? Eeuugh! That's fuckin heresy! Single malts are the one true way. Get some Ardbeg down your neck! Your liver will thank you...
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Can't find you any clips of Vic Reeves doing his "Monkey Trousers" sketch. And that's basically the sketch - he's a retard, goes round making silly noises and blurting out "Monkey Trousers!" at random intervals.Also, Bob Mortimer did a sketch as 'Croc Botherer' where he'd jump on various animals saying something like "Come on, let's dive on the twat!" It's a spoof on Steve Irwin I guess (he was alive at the time...)Anyhoo, the series wasn't all that good but it did have one or two moments. It was no Fast Show, that's for sure...
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Hahahah told you Defiance was garbage. God that movie looks like a director sucking the balls of the Oscar statue.
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Fantastic movie. Had to explain it to my Dad though. Ah well.
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Uh, hmmm. Maybe not. Dang alzheimers kickin in again.
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HODJONAHTOAD CHITTY PILLOW XIPHOS KUNG FU MILF HOBO FRANKLIN MAVRA FRED SERIES DROID WOLF CHIPPS JARV AND WINSTON IF I DON'T SEE YOU AGAIN, HAVE A GREAT CHRISTMAS/ HOLIDAY DOING WHATEVER IT IS YOU DO......ITS BEEN A LOT OF FUN THESE PAST FEW MONTHS GUYS. HAVE FUN WITH YOUR FAMILIES/FRIENDS. PEACE
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I knew someone was missing. Sorry about that. You too.
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and to everybody else too, CoC or not! May everyone have a safe and happy holiday season, much love and joyfulness!!
Except Coughlin'sLaw, he can go fuck himself and choke on it and die. haha -
...is that where we first started talking-- the political TB's?
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Memento. Did you get the DVD of it where you can watch the movie in order? Anyone seen that?
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And I hope you have a happy Hanukkah yourself. Make sure to put the candles out before you go to DickBlood sleep.
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His Law and Order appearance is on this weekend on the TNT's, around 9/10 Central. Set them Tivos.
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It might have been one previous to the Outlander tb, but I believe that's the first one that really made me pay attention to and join in an actual ongoing conversation with all you guys. Before that I would just post some random comments in various tbs and not really come back to it.
I didnt get involved in the political tbs that much, since I know shit about politics, except to follow the big discussions/wars going on (that was fun to read) and throw in an occasional insult to Coughlin. -
Welcome aboard the the Jack Daniels wagon. It's a great fog to be under ain't it?
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A merry Christmas to you and yours sir.
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I'm bored so I'll keep it going
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Kevin smith was on Law and Order? Why?Is Thrusday when the new Twitch colum is suppossed to hit?
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If anyone is around. The chat back I remember the most that started it for me. Was a thing about Rambo directors cut DVD. Outlander 2012 came shortly afterward.
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WAS THE BOMB IN SOMETHING ABOUT MARY!!! That movie is still funny as shit. I don't know? About a deuce, deuce and a half.
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I'm gonna be watching Burn After Reading, which seems no one saw. And American Teen, and possible Bolt 3-D, Slumdog or Milk. OHH and if it gets here before I leave What Ever Happen to Baby Jane. OK back to clearing up DVR space before I leave tomorrow.
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Where are all the other working stiffs at?
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trying to beat a fucking Tron or t2ron or whatever teh hell it's called.
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oh, I see it's a screen writer that has the same name.
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no topic
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Where are all the complainers at who had to work today? Help me out here.
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The orginal wasn't any good and I snuck into it as a kid and felt cheated and I didn't lay out any gelt for it.The one thing the new Tron has going for it is Olivia Wilde. God Damn she has a million dollar get away face.
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Not for too long, hopefully, but at least for the morning.Merry Christmas Eve to all the working chumps!
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Not that he's going to read this, but it's the thought that counts.
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pillow, jarv, droid, mr z, xiphos, therewolf, series, toad, hawaiian, mavra, and anyone else whose name I can't currently remember on account of a hangover/Christmas excitement combo that is clouding my tiny brain.Woo-hoo! Christmas and whatnot!
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Clearly, the Ain't It Cool servers have packed up early for Christmas.
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Fuck knows why. Miserable bastards. So I will ramble for a bit here instead.
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Everyone is sitting around bitching or that everybody is a chick?
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Everyone is sitting around moaning, mostly about a guy (the boss's son) who didn't show up for work today.To quote Bill Hicks:Yeah? And? So? What?It's Christmas, for crying out loud, let's just leave the bitching about stuff we have no control over until next year (and maybe let's not do it then, either).
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I spent fifteen minutes on that post, rambling about what Blade might do at Christmas, and the Ain't It Cool has swallowed it!Oh, well.I concluded that Whistler probably bought Blade useful stuff for Christmas like socks and shower gel and the like - the type of stuff Blade cannot buy for himself because, come on, can you imagine Blade standing in line at the supermarket with a basket of toiletries?
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A Merry Christmas to you my good man. I see you offered up well wishes above.
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Bah Fucking Humbug! Working is for chumps!
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A certain amount of bitching is useful it helps. The problem is when miserable motherfuckers do it all the time, then you have to step in and step on the dumbass doing all bitching. It usually boils down to one asshat everytime. That guy is like teh monkey in outbreak, the infection can be traced back to him.
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Let the airing of grievances commence!After dinner, we will gather around the Festivus pole for the feats of strength!
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There is nothing she will not moan about (always starting with "I'm sorry, but...") even, it turns out, at Christmas.I am choosing to ignore her today.
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Or at least teh top 5. I love Frank Costanza outburst over the end credits, It cracks me up every time I hear it.
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Dec 24, 2008 4:18:16 AM CST
I tend to celebrate Festivus every day.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
I'm always airing grievances.
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Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.Cosmo Kramer: What happened to the doll?Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born: a Festivus for the rest of us!
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Dec 24, 2008 4:22:40 AM CST
Kramer: Must've been some doll!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Frank: It was!
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"No, instead, there's a pole. It requires no decoration. I find tinsel distracting. It's made from aluminum. Very high strength-to-weight ratio."
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I SENT 10 MEN TO THE LATRINES THAT NIGHT!
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Christsmas? Wait let me guess, the holiday season is too "stressfull" right?
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Gather around the pole for the airing of grievences. Let me tell you, I've got a LOT of problems with you people!
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might have slipped by ya'll over the pond because they had to do with shots they took at George Steinbrenner and the New York Yankees.
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While I usually welcome the radio at work, the fucking radio station is having a christmas song day. My fucking god. I've decided the 80's is the most fucked decade of them all. Some cock warbling about driving home for christmas, and Boy "Of course i'll let you out of the handcuffs" George crapping on about whether or not "they know it's christmas". Of course they fucking know! They just don't give a shit! Even Bruce Fucking Springsteen is in on it! The Fucking Boss! Whats the world coming to?
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There was one about trading a pitcher that I recall. I knew what they were referring to, just not the details. It's still amusing because of Stillers delivery.
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Dec 24, 2008 4:49:09 AM CST
No, she's moaning because someone didn't come to work today
by franklin t marmoset
And he's the boss's son, so he'll get away with it.She has a point, but what the fuck does she gain by moaning about it? Let it go and enjoy your life, woman.Someone else was moaning about Christmas, though. I was just trying to enjoy a quiet Christmas smoke and this guy is going on and on about how 'it's all so commercialised' and whatnot. I can't stand that stuff. Christmas can be whatever you want it to be, as far as I'm concerned, and if you can't find something about it to enjoy - whether that's spending time with friends and family, drinking too much, eating too much, watching Die Hard, giving and receiving presents, or even going to church if that's your bag - you're a joyless asshole.
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It's on here, too. Currently playing: Simply having a wonderful Christmas time, by Paul fucking McCartney.Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong.
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I'm looking forward to the day when all telly is online and we can download whatever episode of whatever show we like.If we had that now, I would totally download the Festivus episode.
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I might watch that one tomorrow. In the spirit of festivus.
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Good deal.I reckon I might head over to Zavvi at lunch (since the boss still won't let us know if we can finish early today) and get the season 9 box set. I demand some Festivus laughs.
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Dec 24, 2008 5:16:26 AM CST
It would be better for me if Zavvi weren't so close to work
by franklin t marmoset
It's far too easy for me to talk about something here, then go and impulsively buy a bunch of DVDs at lunch or after work.
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Dec 24, 2008 5:16:37 AM CST
Yeah, Seinfelds one of my favorite shows.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
And I never get sick of watching them, so its a good purchase. The radio is saying Zavvi has officially gone into administration.
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Dec 24, 2008 5:21:37 AM CST
The Marble Rye episode is one of the best
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
And the episode they did in reverse, Memento style."You can stuff your sorry's in a sack!"
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But where will I go to spend money I shouldn't be spending?I'll have to get a drug habit. Or maybe go to HMV instead.
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Dec 24, 2008 7:07:16 AM CST
If it's just me, I'll bow out now - with one last thought:
by franklin t marmoset
It was December 24th on Hollis Ave in the darkWhen I seen a man chilling with his dog in the parkI approached very slowly with my heart full of fearLooked at his dog, Oh my God, an ill reindeer!But then I was illin because the man had a beardAnd a bag full of goodies, 12 o'clock had nearedSo I turned my head a second and the man had goneBut he left his driver's wallet smack dead on the lawnI picket the wallet up then I took a pauseTook out the license and it cold said Santa Claus!A million dollars in it, cold hundreds of G'sEnough to buy a boat and matching car with easeBut I'd never steal from Santa, cause that ain't rightSo I'm going home to mail it back to him that nightBut when I got home I bugged, cause under the tree
Was a letter from Santa and all the dough was for me!It's Christmas time in Hollis Queens
Mom's cooking chicken and collard greensRice and stuffing, macaroni and cheeseAnd Santa put gifts under Christmas treesDecorate the house with lights at nightSnow's on the ground, snow white so brightIn the fireplace is the yule logBeneath the mistletoe as we drink egg nogThe rhymes you hear are the rhymes of Darryl'sBut each and every year we bust Chrsitmas carrols!Rhymes so loud and proud you hear itIt's Christmas time and we got the spiritJack Frost chillin, the orchestra's outAnd that's what Christmas is all about!The time is now, the place is hereAnd the whole wide world is filled with cheerMy name's DMC with the mic in my handAnd I'm chilling and coolin just like a snowmanSo open your eyes, lend us an earWe want to say:Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
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So we're on to Seinfeld now? Yeah, I think I have the complete series on DVD. My mom gave me the sets over the past several Christmases. I can watch that show whenever it's on.And if we're talking about Frank Costanza's finest moments, let's not forget when he was trying to get George a job at the brassiere company and giving him pointers.
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I'll be back with more thoughts later. Happy holidays guys!
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No. It's the BRO!
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90 minutes to go till I'm off! C'mon!
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Dec 24, 2008 8:35:25 AM CST
These pretzels are making me thirsty!
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Gotta do my bit for the twitch.
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George: I was free and clear. I was living the dream. I was stripped to the waist eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery.Jerry: Before we go any further, I'd just like to point out how disturbing it is that you equate eating a block of cheese with some sort of bachelor paradise.
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Dec 24, 2008 8:42:21 AM CST
Jerry, just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
That's true.
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Not that there's anything wrong with that.
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NEXT!!!!
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Dec 24, 2008 8:45:39 AM CST
George: I'll sniff out a deal. I have a sixth sense.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Jerry: Cheapness is not a sense.
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whenever a lesbian looks at me they think "That's why I'm not a heterosexual."
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Dec 24, 2008 8:48:05 AM CST
You can't break up with me, I've got Hand.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
And you're going to need it...
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Dec 24, 2008 8:49:04 AM CST
People don't just bump into each other and have sex.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
This isn't Cinemax.
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Dec 24, 2008 8:49:56 AM CST
You have the rooster, the hen, and the chicken.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
The rooster goes with the chicken... So who's having sex with the hen?
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Dec 24, 2008 8:50:36 AM CST
You're killing independent George.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
Giddyup!
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We are 2nd. A lot of work to do to get to first!
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Thanks for the laughs, droid.Tonight, when I get back from the pub, I am going to strip to the waist and eat a block of cheese the size of a car battery in George Costanza's honour. While watching the Festivus episode!And with that, I am definitely out. Work is finally over.I hope everybody has a great holiday and whatnot. See some of you next week.
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Dec 24, 2008 8:56:53 AM CST
Have a good festivus, Frankie.
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
All the best. Talk to you next year!
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A very happy holidays to everyone from Rickey! We're all bitter twisted pricks here at AICN, but we're good natured ones too.
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T-minus 60 minutes and counting!
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There are nightclubs full of drunk sluts who will have sex with some guy who is cute, funny, and smells nice. It happens every night somewhere. Life can be like Cinemax...
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Dec 24, 2008 9:47:16 AM CST
So am I like the only prick thats gonna be here...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...for the next SIX AND A HALF FUCKING HOURS?!!!!! AWWWWWWWWWWW. Wish I didn't work for Ebenezer fucking Scrooge.
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To Frankie, Jarv, Danny, Zedd, JPT, HOD, Hobo, Vader, Chitty, Jonah, TKD, Mav, Kungfu, Xiphos, Series7 and Fred,Here’s wishing you and yours all the best over Christmas and New Years. I look forward to crapping on about stuff with you all in 2009.Cheers,DroidPS. Apologies if I missed anyone.
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For Christmas, I want a new Twitch TB when I get back on Monday.
Thanks,
Danny -
I'll keep you company.I work for a heartless bunch of corksoakers too. The drive in this morning was like I Am Legend. Why am I here?At least I have Christmas dinner at my mom's place tonight after work to look forward to. And this is the first Christmas that my daughter understands the concept of Christmas and opening presents so late tonight in front of a roaring fire I'll get to sip from a glass of scotch and watch her tear into stuff with unfettered glee, and that's sure to make me feel like Robin Williams in Hook.
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Just in case I don't get on later - Everybody have a smashing Christmas.I'm not brave enough to try a list of names cos I'll forget somebody and then I'll be chased through cobbled streets by an enraged mob with pitchforks shouting "Burn the beast!"Don't need that on a Christmas Eve...Seriously, y'all have a great time. Drink and be merry!
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Sorry I had to bow out for awhile I was involved win a Poker tourney since 15:30hrs my time. My Christmas came early in the form of dumbfucks who can't play poker.Like everbody else has done I would like to wish everbody a merry Christmas and a happy and health new years. Everbody with families and children I would just like to say that this year I will work harder to make sure your families are even safer.
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Thanks dude.
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How much longer you got? A few hours? Fuck this. I'm not doing shit but drinking tea all day.
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And Wolf and Droid and any other pathetic schlub that is still lingering.Danny, I'm stuck here for another couple hours. And I'm actually doing work today. Miracle of miracles. Although I'll be hanging that up to see what's happening around the world soon.
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I haven't paid any attention to the news around here lately but I just took a peek and now AICN is schlepping lasers?Script Girl, lasers, retinas, gastric bypasses and Gone. David Keith David would have something to say about this.
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Uhhhh seriously. What the cunt flaps is wrong with that fucking guy?
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Dec 24, 2008 12:35:42 PM CST
Unless a laser is attached to a frickin sharks frickin head
by xiphos_2
Who cares? Why is getting a laser cool? I read the artical and can't figure that out. So you have a green tinted laser beam that can burn your leg and see dust floating through the field? Wow! where can I get one?
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Thats the moral of the story.
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...becomes one of those people obsessed with losing weight, and ends up a meth addict?
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Dec 24, 2008 1:11:07 PM CST
Thinking about my mom's cooking has me salivating...
by hawaiian organ donor
...on the keyboard. Green beans, mashed potatoes, tuna, butterfly shrimp, steamed broccoli, spring rolls and a big glass of merlot.Harry may already be a meth addict. He's definitely gotta be on something to allow this site to post some of the articles it does. And he's the only person on the interwebs that would give Script Girl a spotlight.
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I'm glad you felt almost the same way I did about TDK. I was beginning to think I was nuts being the only guy here who was underwhelmed by it. For your sake I hope a second viewing makes the movie more enjoyable because it actually pains me not to like it. I really wanted to love the hell out of it.This damn frog in my throat is really pissing me off. He could at least have the courtesy to sing show tunes.
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She lets it simmer in it's own natural gravy for a while and manages to keep it perfectly moist so that the stuff just melts in your mouth. I still prefer my tuna on the grill sprinkled with a little soy ginger sauce but damn if my mom can't work magic with tuna in the oven.
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That does sound good. Never had oven cooked tuna.
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That's the one thing this city doesn't have. A Jamaican restaurant. We've got plenty of Thai, Indian, Vietnamese, Filipino and Brazilian joints, but not one Jamaican.
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That's the one luxury I would have if I was wealthy. An international staff of chefs. I don't think I'd eat the same thing in a month.How's the east African food treating you, Xi? Choking back lots of halal?
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Thats all I gotsta say.
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Dec 24, 2008 3:19:20 PM CST
here is something funny to read if anyone pops in....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...a highlight of Moriarty's Fellowship of the Ring review from 2001.
"
So this morning I saw New Line's highly-anticipated LORD OF THE RINGS: FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING, right?
I cannot stress this strongly enough: do not see this movie.
If you do, it will ruin you for everything else.
Films you've seen before, films you're waiting to see, films you have on DVD... it doesn't matter. All will pale by comparison after you finally lay eyes on Peter Jackson's visionary masterpiece.
As the credits rolled sometime around 2:00 this afternoon, I sat motionless, shell-shocked. There were about ten or twelve other people in the Chaplin Theater, but I couldn't tell you what they looked like or what reactions they had. It feels like my eyes have been seared by three hours worth of raw imagination somehow burned into the emulsion by the sheer force of Peter Jackson's will, like there are images etched there now that I cannot shake, that I do not want to shake. I close my eyes and I see a rush of moments, little details that pulled me into Middle-Earth with an intensity of belief I haven't felt since I was seven years old. I have called friends up out of the blue, emotional today, dying to tell them about the movie. I feel like Jimmy Stewart at the end of IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE running down the streets of Bedford Falls, screaming and hollering like a crazy man because of the joy that fills me up. I am spilling over, drunk and delirious because my faith has been restored. FELLOWSHIP OF THE RINGS isn't just as good as you've heard; it's not just as good as the hype says; it's not just a brilliant movie.
With utter confidence, I can say that FELLOWSHIP OF THE RINGS is one of the ten finest motion pictures it has ever been my pleasure to see." -
and to all, shut the hell up.
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fuck Harry's dumbass laser.
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but I remember seeing that back when I lived in Germany. I was only about eleven or twelve years old, and it's still probably the greatest film-going experiences of my life. Jackson did create a whole world, and I was immersed in it. I was also at just the right age to want to believe and to buy into it completely, while still being old enough to really understand and enjoy every moment.Moriarty was a grown man with much more theatre experience, but if he really thought that great. I personally enjoyed it much more in the theatre than either of the other two movies. Two Towers comes a little closer, but I got the feeling earlier that nobody really cared for that one for some reason.
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TT and ROTK feel much more fake. The CG is shitty in a lot of parts and the sets look like crap. And I think what really sold the world in FOTR was all that great work of scaling down the hobbits with various trickery. There wasn't much interaction in the other films with regular sized people. And if there was it looked like total shit (like that shot of Frodo and Sam standing in the cave with Faramir's goons). FOTR had the great sense of wonder. The music was the best, the villains were the best, the fellowship was all together (which I prefer) and it seemed everything worked nicely. There are a lot of pacing issues with the other two that feel very half assed as well.
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$786,558,759
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I know a lot of people prefer FOTR because it's magical... but I like how fucked up TTT is. It feels like that point in the journey where the stakes are raised and we see how depraved the human characters can get in the film. Not to mention it has Gandalf's return, which is just brilliant. The Extended Edition is even better, there's a flashback section with Boromir that's really sets up Gondor a lot better than the film does. And to top it all off, it ends on a reasonably happy note while still showing that the journey is destroying all of these happy people. I think what really bugs me about FOTR is how nauesatingly happy and false everyone feels. It's all a jolly adventure, and there's few moments where they really embrace how bad it is. You could point to Gandalf biting it, but that's a heroic sacrifice - it's not like he got stabbed in the fucking eye, and then bled to death while Aragorn held Frodo back.
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Yes sir, I was underwhelmed by TDK. Maybe I'll change my tune when I see it on the big screen with an audience, but the change, in opinion, will only be in a matter of a few degrees and not a wholesale awakening.The food in Dijibouti is interesting because up until 1992 Dijibouti was a French protecturate and they still heavily identify with France. The food can be straight up French or a fusion of French, Somali and Ethiopian.
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Hope you all have great ones!
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Tis 20 past 12 here so officially Christmas Day. So I can say MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY again. There, I said it.And also, TDK's a fantastic film. So there.The Jack Daniels is open. Xiphos, I piured one out for you as well. It's going down the hatch any second! Stay safe, mate.Peace.
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It's 0430 hrs and I'm doing fill in duty for people making video phone calls home. I'm going to go ahead and gloss myself the biggest chump here, mark it down.
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Thanks for the drink pally!
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And to all - a good night!
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Dec 24, 2008 7:00:12 PM CST
Fred wishes everyone a Very Merry Christmas
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
And a happy new year!
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He has given us all the gift that keeps on giving!
Neigh means Neigh!
Actually that was Half Vader that gave the quote, but anyway Merry Christmas to all! -
On DVD, the collective presents were: Mamma Mia, The Dark Knight, Wall-E and An American Werewolf In London. Wall-E is by far the best film of that bunch.
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Fuck YES!! I got the Coppola Edition Godfather Trilogy!! YEEEEEEEEEEHAHHHHH!!
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I have a lot, and I think it's time I destroy them in print.
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That sucks! Well, if you liked it, more power to you. My mom got it. I hated it. Pierce Brosnan should never be allowed to sing again. Ever.
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But I enjoyed it. I think expecting a good musical is a bit much, it's a trainwreck of a film. God-awful in every way... but eventually I just shrugged it off and enjoyed it. It circled from bad to so bad it's good...
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And, if so, by 'we' do I really mean 'me'?No one else is dumb enough to come to work today.
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This is depressing.I should not have to work when I'm this hungover.
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Let's get rambling!
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A bit of an odd one, but not in a good way.It was like they took the first half of one film (Hancock A) and awkwardly bolted it to the second half of another film (Hancock B). Neither Hancock A nor Hancock B were particularly bad, but I did spend all of the Hancock B section of the film annoyed because I was never going to know how Hancock A ended.All in all, a missed opportunity, I reckon. Could have been the Bad Santa of superhero films, if only they had more balls.
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Jarv was right about that one.Delightful.
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That is a film in dire need of some Jar Jar Binks. If you're going to do some kind of massive computer animated battle where you don't give a tinker's poop about anything that's happening, it is your responsibility as a film maker to go the whole hog and stick some Jar Jar in there. Crappy, over-produced CGI yawn-fests need Jar Jar to wander around, stepping in poop, being all clumsy and whatnot, to perk things up.Also, I believe Jar Jar's experience as a bombad general would have come in very handy.
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Oh, well.And what was up with Brendon Fraser's kid in The Mummy 3? How the hell did him and his wife have a kid who grew into his twenties while neither of them aged at all, unless turning into Maria Bello with a really fucking annoying accent counts as ageing.Really, that was a terrible, terrible film. I did enjoy the cameo by the Yeti from Monsters, Inc., but it was a pretty poor showing not getting John Ratzenberger back to do the voice again.
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Mike Wazowski should be one of the criminal gang (I'm assuming there's going to be a criminal gang) in Fast & Furious (which should be titled Furiously Fast, I rckon, or possibly Fastly Furious).Buzz Lightyear, clearly, is the only man fit to be picked as the next XXX (XXX III: To Infinity And Beyond).McG should be able to find a place for Denis Leary's angry ladybug from A Bug's Life in Terminator 4, most likely as a Terminator (A murderous animated robot ladybug - no one would see it coming).Paul Walker could team up with the Ellen Degeneres fish in Into The Blue Too: Back Into The Blue.
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Dec 29, 2008 6:13:10 AM CST
I will damn well lift this bastard into the top 10!
by franklin t marmoset
All by myself!
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It made me respect The Dark Knight a bit more. TDK might not be my cup of tea, but at least it's not another of these fucking awful cartoony CGI nightmare clusterfucks we keep getting as summer blockbusters these days.
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I liked the bit where he shoved the guy's head up another guy's ass.
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It was delightful.
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My favourite is probably Hellboy II. I was confident it would be Iron Man, but Hellboy II ended up being everything I like in a comic book film - big, bold, imaginative, colourful, fun, good characters, great action and effects, and a little old Scottish lady getting punched in the face.It improves on the first Hellboy, too, because this time they had a slightly better story and a much better villain.Who knew I would one day like not one but two films with a member of Bros in them?
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I hope so. I want to know what happens now they're a bunch of rogue misfits.Also, I was looking forward to seeing what kids who are half skinny Hollywood lollypop and half giant red demon look like.
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You would think Selma Blair would be badly damaged by sex with Hellboy.I could be wrong, but Hellboy looks like he has a pretty big cock, and there's a good chance it's made out of stone.Surely that thing would make mincemeat out of Selma's tiny little pooter.
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But apparently it's shit, which is a shame.I'm a gamer now. I own one game.
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Phew, this is hard work.
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I would like to see Hellboy fight Santa, and possibly punch the occasional elf.
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I don't know about anyone else, but I am actually sick of eating at the moment. I can't cram another sausage roll into my mouth and I think I have finally reached that mythical, rarely explored place where I can honestly say I have had enough Pringles.Now begins the long, laborious process of running off whatever weight I've put on over the past week.Fat bastard.
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I realise there are always going to be cunts in the world, but can't we all agree that this is a time of year when cunts should take a couple of weeks off and, you know, not be such cunts?Fucking cunts.
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Operation: Resurrection will continue when I get back.
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I will lift this talkback like Superman lifting the Kryptonite continent, while suffering from the Kryptonite-like handicap of a spiteful, vodka-induced headache!People will remember this day!
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Dec 29, 2008 7:35:27 AM CST
You would think I would have something better to do
by franklin t marmoset
No. I don't.
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Brown falvoured Hula Hoops.Always works.
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I have no interest in His music, but it's nice to know he's watching over me at work today.It would be nice if He could use His powers to send me home early or something, but you shouldn't ask too much of your deities or they may become angry and vengeful.
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I watched the Festivus episode on Christmas eve, and a couple of others since then. I had forgotten how funny that show was. The Costanza family, especially, are fucking hilarious.
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Dec 29, 2008 7:56:02 AM CST
It was a mistake to mention my X-Factor hatred at work
by franklin t marmoset
Now they all think it's funny to wind up me up about the god-awful music they like and send me off on a rant.Damn. I'm going to end up being the funny office crank.
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They are brownly delicious and they also possess miraculous curative properties.Hangover... begone!
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Which is also the name of a Buffy episode.The one after Willow killed Warren.
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Is this it?
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Not yet.It's hard to come up with stuff to ramble on about.
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We're back, baby!The CoC, which today consists entirely of me, is back in the top ten.In your face, other talkbacks!
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Fuck that.
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Dec 29, 2008 8:14:41 AM CST
have you seen that trailer for the Street Fighter movie?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
I think it looks kinda cool in a shitty 80s action movie sort of way.
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Thank fuck for that. Really, it was starting get a little weird, me rambling on and on by myself.
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Don't tell me these lucky pricks have another few days off.....FUCK. ME!!
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Sequel? Reboot?Can it possibly be as jaw-droppingly awful as the Van Damme/Minogue version?
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...I was playing Turok all through Christmas. Its fun as hell to skewer dinosaurs in the neck with a bowie knife.
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It looks a little more serious than the previous film, which probably means it won't be nearly as fun. I don't really know why its called Street Fighter other than to cash in on the name. Its just some chick beating the shit out people somewhere in Asia with that pasty albino looking muthafucka' from Band of Brothers as the main bad guy. But something about that trailer looks very 80s to me. I think its the bad guys and the lighting.
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It's got that hateful little cow off Smallville in it, plus Chris Klein.Surely, putting the two of them together in one film could create some kind of bad acting vortex that could sweallow the entire world?When will these people ever learn...P.S> Yes, I splashed out on an X Box 360 just before Christmas. I only have Halo 3, but it's pretty good. I had forgotten how much fun it is to run about shooting stuff. Also, how worryingly satisfying it is to get a nice, clean head shot with a sniper rifle.
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I am currently applying for a patent on the word SWEALLOW (TM - Marmoset Industries, 2008), which is defined as 'What happens to the world when two bad actors collide'.
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Rent Turok one day. Its incredibly fun. And Chris Klein? The American Pie guy? The guy that rocked ass on roller skates side by side with LL COOL J in Rollerball? He is a God. What the fuck role does he play?
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...thats weird. I don't think he looks anything like Don Johnson. And the Johnson is most certainly still available, so what the fuck? Stupid ass Hollywood going for the Dawson's Creek crowd again. Fuck.
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I can't tell if you're joking, Danny. Do you really like Chris Klein?He's one of those guys who're like tinfoil on the teeth to me. Guys like Paul Walker and Freddie Prinze Jnr are bad actors, but at least there's something funny about watching them struggle to make facial expressions. Klein is just bad, and he always comes across as such an empty-headed douche.The only film I ever liked him in was Election, and then only because he was supposed to be an empty-headed douche.
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What the hell kind of man needs to have his stubble painted on!
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I don't really like him, but he doesn't make me want to puke and cut my throat like he does some people. He was okay in American Pie. And Rollerball is one of the weirdest, most horrifically bizarre forms of entertainment I've ever sat through. Its not even a movie. Its like watching a large donut pile of human shit bubble in a toaster oven while Motley Crue rehearses in the next room.
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How the hell do you take John McTiernan, LL Cool J AND a bit of Rebecca Romijn boob and still manage to turn in such a shitty excuse for a film.
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...I have watched it (Rollerball) 3 times. Once in the theater, once on tv, and once as a rental. What the fuck is up with that nightvision sequence? Whose POV is that? McTiernan's?
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Dec 29, 2008 9:43:16 AM CST
BOING sound effect in Rollerball -- WATCH THIS!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
http://tinyurl.com/9p5e56
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Dec 29, 2008 9:46:05 AM CST
I thought it was bad enough that I'd seen it twice
by franklin t marmoset
Once on DVD, then once again with the alternative commentary by the guys at DVD Podblast.The funniest part of that commentary is when one of them goes apoplectic with rage over that nightvision sequence.
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http://tinyurl.com/7f2vtc
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So you just start up the commentary with the film? Hehehehe. Thats funny. Never heard of these douche bags before.
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If you have a shitty film you want to squeeze some extra entertainment from, the DVD Podblast commentaries are worth a listen. They're very funny, and they've done 300 of them (all free to download).I've done it properly and listend to them while watching the film a few times, but more often than not I listen to them while I'm walking to work. It's nice to have a few laughs while you're walking to work.
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We're up over 3000 posts and this thing is starting to groan under the pressure.
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I should check my facts first.100 Podblasts.
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And might I also make a request that you give a special thanks to the CoC for the first 2009 Twitch article?
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A friend of mine keeps trying to get me to watch this. The trailer is fucking kick ass. http://tinyurl.com/6udoj4
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When there's a new Twitch that went up on Christmas Eve? Come on over fellas.
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Okay I just tried to post this but it didn't work. Here's the link to the new Twitch from Christmas Eve:http://tinyurl.com/8apn2s
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There's a new Twitch?I did all that Hurculean lifting for nothing??Oh, well. Over to the new place, then.
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Happy anniversary to the beginning of our CoC spin-off sites.
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