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AICN Exclusive: Find Out Who Came Within A Hare's Breadth Of Co-Directing THE PHANTOM MENACE!

Beaks here...

I didn't walk into my interview with Sir David Hare, one of the world's greatest living playwrights (and the screenwriter of THE READER), looking for a STAR WARS scoop. But that's what I got when I decided to wrap up our chat with a seemingly innocuous question about his having directed an installment of THE YOUNG INDIANA JONES CHRONICLES ("Paris"). Okay, maybe I led him a little... Seriously, all I expected to learn was that he had been asked to do an uncredited polish on one or two of the STAR WARS prequels (as his friend Tom Stoppard reportedly did for REVENGE OF THE SITH). Here's what I got instead:

Mr. Beaks: One last thing I wanted to touch on: you directed an episode of THE YOUNG INDIANA JONES CHRONICLES.

David Hare: You're very good, aren't you? You really are good! Nobody has ever asked me this question. Ever.

Beaks: I didn't realize you'd done one until I saw it there on the IMDb. I would've never put this together otherwise. How did that opportunity come along? And did you ever... because Tom Stoppard has done some rewriting for George Lucas over the years. Did Lucas ever come to you and--

Hare: Do you want a real scoop?

Beaks: Sure! Why not?

Hare: I was asked to co-direct STAR WARS IV.

Beaks: The fourth, so that's--

Hare: The fourth STAR WARS. And I was asked to write the fifth and sixth, but I didn't.

Beaks: So you were asked to co-direct THE PHANTOM MENACE?

Hare: Whichever one got the series going again, that's the one. George said would I co-direct it with him. I would direct the actors, and he would direct the action. So you have a scoop. (Laughs) Nobody has ever asked me that question.

Beaks: Did you seriously consider it?

Hare: I didn't think it was my thing. I shot an episode for George's series, which I really did because I knew I could get some fantastic actors and thought it would be fun. I enjoyed working with him, and he asked me to work more seriously with him. But that is so not what I do. It was a lovely idea that he would be able to do all the action and the stuff that he loves. He loved the fact that the acting was so good in my episode. He said, "You really love actors. I never really feel I understand actors as well as you do, so why don't you direct the actors and I'll do the action." It was a lovely offer, and it would've made me very, very rich. I would be sailing in a yacht on the South of France. The other two I was just asked to rewrite, but I just couldn't. I just don't think they're me. I like things that, as with Stephen [Daldry]... we go through a long process together. I'm better at that stuff. I don't think I'm a very good rewriter.



Somehow, I think he could've done better than "I wish I could just wish away my feelings, but I can't."* While Tom Stoppard's deft touch wasn't enough to rescue REVENGE OF THE SITH, I'm intrigued by the idea of Hare coaxing at least semi-natural performances out of THE PHANTOM MENACE's young actors. Obviously, the Gungan problem would've remained, but a great director of actors (and Hare is certainly that) would've done wonders for the confused duo of Jake Lloyd and Natalie Portman; he would've engaged their imaginations rather than coldly walked them through their blocking. And since he was on set, Hare surely would've polished some of the dialogue, too. I know we've all moved on from the disappointment of the Prequel Trilogy. And I'm well aware that the the prequels were likely doomed on a conceptual level. But the fact that Lucas was open enough to collaboration to make a co-directing offer to a preeminent dramatist... that's significant. Turns out he wasn't a crazy control freak after all. His greatest failing? Aiming for the best when all he needed was the steady hand of an Irvin Kershner. I'd like to think the recent hiring of proficient TV director Anthony Hemingway on RED TAILS is evidence of Lucas loosening the reins a little. I'll have the rest of my David Hare interview up later this week.



*Which could be the work of ATTACK OF THE CLONES co-writer Jonathan Hales, who, coincidentally, scripted Hare's YOUNG INDIANA JONES CHRONICLES episode.

Readers Talkback
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  • Dec. 9, 2008, 2:31 a.m. CST

    Retarded like Jet Li...

    by Lord John Whorfin

    George Lucas asks you to be involved in Star Wars and you say no. Re. Tar. Ded.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 2:32 a.m. CST

    Yep, anything would have been better.

    by Aloy

    Now we'll never know.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 2:42 a.m. CST

    Getting boring now

    by Dizagaox

    AICN needs to change its tone, nobody cares anymore about Prequel bashing.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 2:43 a.m. CST

    tells you everything...

    by Fortunesfool

    You need to know about Lucas' ability to direct actors.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 2:46 a.m. CST

    Sir David Hare raped my childhood!

    by pokadoo

    ...Damn You etc!

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 2:48 a.m. CST

    So Lucas just said "Oh well, I'll do it myself"?

    by pokadoo

    Why didn't he approach someone else? It's so annoying thinking about how much better those films coulda been.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 2:55 a.m. CST

    He probably turned it down..

    by TinSpider

    ...because Lucas was such a cunt to work with first time round.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 2:55 a.m. CST

    George Lucas didn't ruin Star Wars

    by yodalovesyou

    A bunch of whiney, joyless Internet nerds and boring old farts did.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 2:56 a.m. CST

    Oh and...

    by yodalovesyou

    Fuck off and die, ya bunch o' cunts.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 3 a.m. CST

    Rejection Huh

    by medicinaluser

    Must be a bitch for someone like Lucas to take, guess that is why he went all control freakish as why risk the chance of rejection again when he could do it all himself. <BR><BR> For whats it worth nothing would have saved TPM from turning out to be the utter crap it was destined to be.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 3 a.m. CST

    So... wait, it's Sir David Hare's fault?

    by TheNorthlander

    Ok no problem. Let's just start screaming for a remake, we know Hollywood listens to that.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 3:02 a.m. CST

    medicinaluser

    by TheNorthlander

    I think you're wrong. There was a lot of promise in TPM, and it did have Darth Maul. If they hadn't killed him off until the last film that would have automatically made the other prequels twice as good.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 3:04 a.m. CST

    wow, scraping at the bottom of the barrel for news eh?

    by Mike_D

    now, who was in talks to co-direct THE MATRIX?

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 3:15 a.m. CST

    Prequels?

    by Carl XVI Gustaf

    To Star Wars? No.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 3:24 a.m. CST

    George Lucas didn't ruin Star Wars?

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    That's right. He fucked it.<p>Three times.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 3:25 a.m. CST

    Wait

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Why'd Hare say no? <p> He doesn't give a reason... at all... despite the fact that working with the actors would've probably saved the films. </p>

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 3:28 a.m. CST

    Who directed the actors in American Graffiti>

    by kwisatzhaderach

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 3:31 a.m. CST

    Probably he heard how GL abused Irvin Kershner during TESB shoot

    by ricarleite

    Screaming at him that "it was his movie" and he was ruining everything. GL has always been and is a hack, and was surrounded by the right people in the OT, and the wrong people in the PT. I don't think Hare would have helped much, I don't even think that is totally true, he doesn't even know the title, he might be a bit confused about it. But that's just another little remark that puts GL in the list of the most vile, dreadful movie diectors of all time.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 3:33 a.m. CST

    "Tom Stoppard's deft touch wasn't enough to rescue ROTS"

    by V'Shael

    Are you actually admitting that ROTS wasn't awesome? <p> Excellent. <p> Let the hatred flow through you. Your journey to Lucas-hate-dom is almost complete. <p> Anyone can hate Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones, but the amount of Star Wars fans who still praise ROTS is sickening.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 3:33 a.m. CST

    Oh Jesus, here we go...

    by deathbird

    Surprising, that Ain't It Cool News still strives to meet its "I hate Lucas" quota. It's been 10 years, folks. Time to move on. Besides, future generations of geeks aren't gonna give a fuck what you thought about the prequels.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 3:39 a.m. CST

    what youtube video were you trying to link to?

    by The Amazing G

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 3:50 a.m. CST

    He should've loosened the reins on Crystal Skull.

    by Shermdawg

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 4:08 a.m. CST

    1998 vs 2008

    by Droid

    1998: EVERYONE thinks that the upcoming Star Wars prequels are the best idea ever. EVERYONE loves George Lucas.<p>2008: EVERYONE sits on their pew of privilege viewing the past 10 years with 20/20 hindsight. EVERYONE hates George Lucas.<p>The prequels didn't work. But they needed to be made for us to realise it.<p>It's over. Move on.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 4:18 a.m. CST

    Well, shit

    by kwisatzhaderach

    I'll defend the prequels. Or some of it anyway. No, actually I can't be bothered. But the last half hour of Episode II is awesome. And as shitty as some of the acting is in the prequels is it at all possible that it's supposed to be that way? That it's actually not supposed to be naturalistic but is written in the style of the old Republic serials that Lucas based both Star Wars and Indiana Jones on? Has anyone actually gone back and watched the acting in the original Star Wars films? Harrison Ford's performance in Return of the Jedi is dreadful! And Mark Hamill? There's a lot to knock the prequels for but some of the things it's accused of are totally misguided.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 4:26 a.m. CST

    I_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looki ng_for

    by ricarleite

    The GL bashing begun during the OT, in a mild form. The 1997 special edition made it worse. He was pretty hated in 1998.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 4:30 a.m. CST

    Anyone could have done better than Lucas

    by judge dredds fresh undies

    I would have preferred Michael Bay to direct the dialogue.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 4:34 a.m. CST

    Michael Bay's Star Wars

    by kwisatzhaderach

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 4:34 a.m. CST

    Vader slaughters the Jedi Temple

    by kwisatzhaderach

    then turns to camera and says: "My bad."

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 4:37 a.m. CST

    I never do this, but

    by Lost Jarv

    how in any way, shape or form is this cool news? <P>The film was 10 years ago, and is a festering boil on the face of cinema. To be told that it could possibly have, maybe, been better, even though as you acknowledge loads of the suck remains is just painful to think about.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 4:42 a.m. CST

    ricarleite

    by Droid

    Fair play. Remove the George Lucas comment, and it's still accurate. In 1998 everyone was looking forward to prequels like they would be the greatest stories ever told, whether they disliked Lucas or not. The best thing the prequels ever did is illustrate everything that is inherently wrong with prequels.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 4:44 a.m. CST

    I almost corrected the Hare's breath

    by quentintarantado

    I didn't get it till I read the article twice. If I did, that would be pretty retarded of me, and humiliating. Lovely pun, Mr. Beaks.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 4:46 a.m. CST

    I_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for

    by kwisatzhaderach

    Its funny how we all expected Lucas to become Shakespeare and provide us with the greatest drama ever made. When something like Willow would have been nearer the mark.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 4:48 a.m. CST

    Could have, would have, should have!

    by FILMFUNK

    they really arent very good those prequels are they! sad when a CG cartoon gets more right than the actual creater of the biggest trilogy in film history!

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 4:49 a.m. CST

    The most infuriating thing about the prequels honestly:

    by TOGSolid

    Is that throughout all of them you'd get these mini-rushes of awesome little moments, and then have to slog your way through more crap, or in the case of Revenge of the Sith, get treated to an opening 15 mintues that just left you sitting there going "HOLY FUCKING SHIT" and then get slapped in the face with a giant dick for the rest of the flick.<br><br> On the plus side some of the side products to spawn out of the prequels were quite fucking awesome. Clone Wars being one of them, and I really had a blast playing Republic Commando (which funnily enough caught flak for its design, but when the same ideas were used in Rainbow Six: Vegas, they were hailed as the second coming of Christ. Go figure eh?). <br><br> As far as your comment about the old vs the new kwisatzhaderach, I think the real problem there, is while there was certainly a healthy amount of cheese whiz used in the creation of the original movies, there are two things working against the prequels. The first being just time and change in general attitude towards movie direction/quality. The second being just straight technology. This IMO is the big issue. It's ok to have a movie that's a throwback to the Republic serials, but when you dress it up with tons and tons of not very believable CGI, it develops a barrier to entry. You can't immerse yourself in it like you normally would be able to. Yes, back in the day Star Wars was a technological achievement in film making, but since it looked more tangible and real, it was easy to get sucked into it. Hell, sure Return of the Jedi may have been the weakest of the original three, but the ending epic space fight against the Death Star II is incredibly believable since it was all models and real world created effects. To this day, it is still the absolute best sci-fi action scene I have seen, and I still just sit there slack jawed and drooling slightly when I watch it.<br> When I watch the action scenes in the prequels I just feel this incredible disconnect in everything from the space battles, to the lightsaber duels. Once again Return of the Jedi had a very believable duel between Vader and Luke. In the prequels it was all this spinny, acrobatic crap that you just couldn't get into (save for Darth Maul, who really should have been made into a recurring character somehow). In the final fight between Obi and Anakin it looked more like a rave than an emotional contest.<br> These are just a few examples, but you get my drift. If you want an even better example, see: Indiana Jones 4. <br> The prequels would have worked if they weren't so over-produced.<br> [/rambling]

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 4:56 a.m. CST

    TOGSolid

    by kwisatzhaderach

    Agree with your points. The CG was horrendously overused, especially in Episode III, which does not have one exterior shot in the whole film. And you're right about the quality of the filmmaking. The action sequences in the original films are shot and edited to perfection, whereas the prequel action sequences don't have the same frisson of excitement to them. Don't get me wrong, I think the original Star Wars films are amazing. The action in Jedi is gobsmacking, the final space battle has not been equalled yet, despite all the much-vaunted shouting about how digital would improve movies. At the end of the day its all about creativity and imagination. I think what it all boils down to is a film made by a hungry 30 year old is always going to be more interesting than a film made by a 60 year old billionaire.

  • !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:04 a.m. CST

    ROTS

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Is pathetic. End of.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:09 a.m. CST

    kwisatzhaderach

    by TOGSolid

    Absolutely agree with your last point, but that does start to drift back to the ole tired "Lucas fucked it up" rant. You can be an old rich dude and still go after things with an incredible zeal and passion. <br> It's fun to think about what the prequels would be like if they had stuck with just polished up old technology though.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:32 a.m. CST

    The Last Word on Star Wars

    by yiannis

    Everyone should read a book called:<br><br>"The Secret History of Star Wars"<br><br>It is available for free download in PDF format and lays bare EXACTLY how Star Wars came to be. In many ways, reading it has actually INCREASED my enjoyment of the prequel trilogy. What it has also done, though, is totally shatter all my preconceptions about George Lucas the man and NOT in a good way.<br><br>Seriously, read it!

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:36 a.m. CST

    Oh someone else could have directed the Phantom Menace

    by Lightwave7871

    And that's news how? The film is over a decade old... Time to move on now don't ya think? Though I look forward to your next news item about how Alien 3 could have been directed by someone else. Or Batman or just about any film in the last 100 years. Slow news day perhaps?

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:38 a.m. CST

    Its Great! It Sucks! (Repeat)

    by LaserPants

    10,000 more posts to follow reiterating the same things we've all said about Star Wars over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.<br><br> There simply isn't anything left to say.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:39 a.m. CST

    I Like Star Wars

    by LaserPants

    And I don't care if you hate it.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:39 a.m. CST

    I Hate Star Wars

    by LaserPants

    And I don't care if you like it.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:39 a.m. CST

    Jar Jar Sucks!

    by LaserPants

    OMG! He sucks so much!

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:40 a.m. CST

    Darth Vader Is Luke Skywalker's Father?!

    by LaserPants

    Who knew?

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:40 a.m. CST

    The Acting Is Wooden

    by LaserPants

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:40 a.m. CST

    It's A Modern Myth!

    by LaserPants

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:41 a.m. CST

    Lucas Cares More About Making Money Than Telling A Good Story

    by LaserPants

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:42 a.m. CST

    Lucas Is A Storyteller! Theres Nothing Wrong With Success

    by LaserPants

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:42 a.m. CST

    Etc. Etc.

    by LaserPants

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:42 a.m. CST

    And On And On

    by LaserPants

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:42 a.m. CST

    Seemingly Forever

    by LaserPants

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:42 a.m. CST

    It wouldn't have helped if JESUS directed Episode 1!!!

    by Missing Dink

    Like I said...

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:42 a.m. CST

    The acting isn't wooden

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Because wood is usually reliable. No, it's squelchy shit; the sort you get after drinking whisky for eight hours straight. And you're begging for it to stop, but it just gets worse and more foul.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:43 a.m. CST

    Amen

    by LaserPants

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:46 a.m. CST

    I Liked ROTS

    by LaserPants

    I liked ROTS, I think it was good. Much better than the first two prequels, better than ROTJ. I'd call it the third best Star Wars movie; right behind ANH and ESB (which is clearly the best).

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:46 a.m. CST

    I'm not defending the prequels here...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...but I must take exception to the erroneous claims that the action scenes of ROTJ were "edited to perfection". When it comes to the space battle, yes, I agree wholeheartedly. However, ALL the other action scenes were poorly choreographed, shot and edited. <p> Cases in point: <p> 1) Jabba's barge: after the awesome setup with Artoo's lightsaber pass and Luke's flip, it all turns to sad shit. Luke, the last hope of the Jedi, swinging away like a flailing, hysterical schoolgirl swatting at a hornet with a rolled-up umbrella. "Eeeeek! Don't TOUCH ME!" <p> Boba Fett's moment to shine also turned into a fucking joke. And how the fuck did Han hang onto that skiff with his BOOT TIPS? Oh, that's right -- they CGI'd in tangled ropes in the special edition. Stinko! <P> 2) Stormtroopers vs Ewoks. Lithium-addled cockheads vs horde of furry Macauley Culkin clones is more like it. WTF? <p> 3) Final lightsaber duel: here comes Luke again, with the "Eeek" Get AWAY from me, you brute!" school of Jedi fencing. Sad and pathetic at a time when the whole saga is coming to its dramatic conclusion. <p> On a side note: the worst performance in all six films? Easy: Harrizzzzzon Ford in ROTJ. Awful. Simply awful. Even worse than Ian McDiarmid's orgasmic gurning while fighting Mace Windu.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:55 a.m. CST

    Laserpants

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    At least TPM and AOTC (bad as they were) weren't pandering to the fanboys. ROTS was the equivilent of Lucas buying everyone gold coins... only when you opened it up, inside was maggot-infested chocolate.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:56 a.m. CST

    Speaking of ROTS & ROTJ...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...the first time I witnessed the opening swings of the duel between Sidious and the Jedi, when Sidious dispatches Windu's comrades as if they were retarded Daleks, I immediately thought of ROTJ.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:58 a.m. CST

    Doc

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    That's funny... when Sidious dispatched Windu's comrades, I thought of the many inferior brand batteries that the Energiser bunny outlasted.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 6 a.m. CST

    Hopeless. Absolutely Hopeless

    by landrvr1

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 6:07 a.m. CST

    Does Any Of This Matter???

    by Media Messiah

    So, he would have co-directed the Phantom Menace which was a bad story and had a bad script...and this would have resulted in what kind of a dfference--yet another bad version of that horrble movie???!!! Now, what this guy should have said is that he read the script, told Lucas it was garbage, and offered to rewrite it...but he didn't, because like all people surrounding George Lucas, he is just another Yes Man!!!

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 6:13 a.m. CST

    I blame Kevin Smith.

    by OBSD

    I blame him for all the ROTJ hatred. Seriously, until Clerks came out, nobody I knew disliked Jedi one bit, but after that movie geeks everywhere were like "grumble brumble...goddamn Ewoks...grumble grumble..." Even if you think the Ewoks were an unholy abomination (I was 10 when Jedi came out, so they were fine by me), there's still the Palace Rescue bit at the beginning, which still makes ROTJ a million times better anything in the prequels. Including anything in ROTS.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 6:21 a.m. CST

    DocPazuzu

    by kwisatzhaderach

    When I was talking about the action sequences I was referring to the speeder bike chase and the final space battle.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 6:23 a.m. CST

    DocPazuzu

    by kwisatzhaderach

    Yup, Ford clearly wanted to be somewhere else during Jedi. He also looks like he's aged about ten years since The Empire Strikes Back. Must have been the Blade Runner shoot.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 6:24 a.m. CST

    kwisatzhaderach

    by DocPazuzu

    You will notice that I didn't include those scenes in my bashing of ROTJ. I would say that as soon as a scene required a special effect more complex than a lightsaber, it was considerably better than the other action scenes.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 6:31 a.m. CST

    JOHN STEVENSON IS DIRECTING WE3!!!

    by DOGSOUP

    From Kung Fu Panda to a HARD R. If it's not a Hard R it'll be shit!! What back to Star Wars wankery?

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 6:33 a.m. CST

    Oh, Puh-leze!

    by SamuelLappDance

    I get the whiny fanboy hatred for Episodes I and II. But "Revenge of the Sith" delivered the goods. The opening space battle was stunning. That long, extended opening fly-through the battle without edit totally put you into the war. Anakin vs. Dooku ending up in the scissoring of Christopher Lee's head. Anakin bristling with the Jedi Council was finally dramatized. That great opera scene. The Wookiee planet. Anakin alone in the Jedi Council chamber staring out the window across the city as Padme stands looking out at her building. Order 66. Bail Organa emerging as the first hero of the Rebel Alliance. The blockade runner. Yoda and Obi-Wan taking back the temple. The Emperor's speech to the Senate. Yoda vs. Palp. Anakin vs. Obi Wan. Vader's first breath. The final montage and image. "Sith" is a legitimately great film that should not be tarred with "the prequel brush."

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 6:33 a.m. CST

    TPM is the best prequel - fact.

    by performingmonkey

    It feels like a movie, unlike AOTC and ROTS where being shot on digital made them look way more soundstage-y. There IS some acting in TPM, unlike the others. The best duel is in TPM and also one of the greatest CG sequences of all-time in the podrace (totally overblown but it sure beats listening to more of George's bullshit dialogue). When the special edition comes out IMO everyone will be praising it a lot more.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 6:34 a.m. CST

    I liked the prequels.

    by lochkray

    I liked ROTJ. I like Star Wars. I watch them, and am entertained. I like Pod Races, duel bladed light sabers, underwater chandelier cities, arena executions, space city flying car chases, giant space battles, rain soaked fist fights, four handed light saber techniques, climactic lava duels, a spinning top with a laser blade jumping around a senate arena, and I like what George Lucas created. Sorry. I find it all entertaining. I don't know what's wrong with me. I just watch them and enjoy myself. Apparently I am "retarded", and unaware my childhood was "raped". Poor, poor, dimwitted me.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 6:34 a.m. CST

    I hereby call for the following to be banned...

    by emeraldboy

    any and all refrences to hollywood and or hollywood individuals raping talkbackers childhood. regardless of this being a satrical site. there is nothing remotely funny about rape.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 6:35 a.m. CST

    SamuelLappDance

    by kwisatzhaderach

    'Anakin alone in the Jedi Council chamber staring out the window across the city as Padme stands looking out at her building.' - That is undoubtedly a terrific scene, aided by that ominous piece of music by Williams.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 6:40 a.m. CST

    emeraldboy oh wow that's been tried before

    by DOGSOUP

    several times in fact. If you want to be the next to try by all means, just know the odds are against you. In conclusion Kung Fu We3.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 6:48 a.m. CST

    SamuelLappDance

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Sorry, no. ROTS isn't a great film, or a good one. <p> Putting aside my hatred, I can concede that people are capable of enjoying it. But great? Come on. It's got awful acting... no soul... ridiculous choreography and it doesn't even manage to kill Jar Jar. </p>

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 6:50 a.m. CST

    some people on this find it very hard to..

    by emeraldboy

    move on. A couple of years ago I turned on my tv and saw batman and robin. I have never laughed so hard in all of my life. that film is so funny. really very funny. the whole thing is a laughing stock. Studios are belt tightening. will some big budgeted movies be scrapped. What about Transformers 2 revenge of the fallen. will the credit crunch fell that film. if doesnt will we have to go through the same amount of hysteria and bay bashing all over again. i cant say. throwing mud is not movie criticism. its a lazy easy option.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 6:57 a.m. CST

    emeraldboy

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    I don't get the hate for Batman & Robin either. <p> Ahnuld gives the funniest bad performance of all time. How people can't laugh at 'this... is a cold town' I'll never know.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 7:01 a.m. CST

    Should've made sequels

    by MontyPigeon

    First scene would've been Luke on his death bed and during his last breathe, a lightsabre rolls from his hands onto the floor whilst he gasps "Jar Jar".<p>They then spend the whole movie trying to figure out why he said "Jar Jar". Once they find out, everyone in every galaxy commits suicide when they realise what he is.<p>Apart from a fat man called Lucas on a distant planet called Earth who marries him.<p>It would've been a titanic beater!!

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 7:08 a.m. CST

    Biggest FU from Uncle George...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...to the fans is at the close of the ROTJ special edition when they show a clip of Naboo and clearly hear Jar Jar saying "Weesa free!" <p> That drooling bastard survived the Empire!

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 7:08 a.m. CST

    Emeraldboy

    by Lost Jarv

    although that phrase needs to be put into retirement, it's quite obviously a joke. <P>Please remove your head from your arse.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 7:16 a.m. CST

    Disagree

    by Lost Jarv

    although that's a big Fuck You, the biggest is CGI-ing EMO ghosty douche Anakin Skywalker in at the Funeral Pyre scene. That makes me want to feed Lucas his own gizzards. <P>ROTS was fucking dire, by the way.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 7:16 a.m. CST

    Uncle George

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Don't give these guys any ideas. We'll have Police Officers asking: Where did Uncle George touch you, lad?

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 7:20 a.m. CST

    You think anything could've improved Jake Lloyd or Ahmed Best?

    by JackPumpkinhead

    Meesa theenk you cray-zee!

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 7:22 a.m. CST

    Oh, and if you can't laugh at Batman & Robin...

    by JackPumpkinhead

    ...zen you'hre an icehole und you'hre just iceking to be kicked in ze ice.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 7:23 a.m. CST

    "show me using the dolly and the gungan

    by Lost Jarv

    where Uncle George touched your childhood"

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 7:27 a.m. CST

    I object to "Whiny Fanboy Hatred"

    by Lost Jarv

    there is nothing Whiny and Fanboyish about my hatred for those 2 shitfests. <p>You can despise them for being tedious, appalingly acted, crappily written borefests without even going into whinges about the Star Wars universe.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 7:47 a.m. CST

    I've always said Lucas used Kersh and Marquand as co-directors..

    by StarWarsRedux

    ...and it seems with David Hare, he was going to be honest with everybody about it. And that's perfectly fine. Lucas is a great visual filmmaker, a cameraman and editor at heart, a cinematic director-- not a dramatic one. Which is cool. Plenty of other directors needed to be in a team to make things work-- the Coens, Powell and Pressburger, etc. <p>I wish that people would now recognize how much Lucas co-directed ESB-- everybody admits ROTJ, sure, but ESB is as much Lucas', if not more, than Kersh's. Though if it hadn't been for Irving, the acting wouldn't have been as good. Whatever. Lucas works best in a team, rather than alone.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 7:50 a.m. CST

    THE SINGLE BIGGEST MISTAKE IN THE PREQUELS

    by Ray Gamma

    ...was casting Natalie "I don't even like Star Wars" Portman.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 7:53 a.m. CST

    StarWarsRedux

    by kwisatzhaderach

    You should read 'Once Upon A Galaxy: A Journal of the Making of The Empire Strikes Back'. Lucas was hardly on set for Empire. He mostly stayed in California and supervised the ILM work.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 8:04 a.m. CST

    Kwisatz

    by StarWarsRedux

    Still, he was perfectly capable of shaping the visuals of the film as he saw fit from his visits to the set and behind-the-scenes work. ESB, like any Star Wars film, was a heavily storyboarded affair, so he and Joe Johnston were essentially picking all the camera angles ahead of time before any film was shot. Lucas' limited time on the sets pretty much indicates he was there to check out the progress on the areas of the film that he cared most about-- the visuals-- and left the rest to Kersh. And it has been documented that he spent more time on certain sets than others-- lots during the Dagobah and Bespin scenes, especially the duel, not so much on Hoth or in the Falcon. <p>But the most interesting tidbit for me is this-- Lucas chose a cinematographer for ESB before a director. Peter Suschitzky, one of the best directors of photography in the biz, and frequent collaborator of David Cronenberg, was hired before Irving Kershner was even considered for his position. Lucas wanted Suschitzky for ANH originally, and finally got him for ESB. And I've always felt that's the main difference for the quality between the two films-- honestly, who cares how much better the acting is when the movie LOOKS that good? <p>By the way, in the future, can anti-Lucas people please stop reccomending books like "Once Upon a Galaxy"? It's all well and good to have your own opinion, but if you're going to reference a text as proof against somebody else's opinions, pick a text that isn't out of print. Either that or start copying it online somewhere so we can all read it and debate its validity.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 8:06 a.m. CST

    StarWarsRedux

    by kwisatzhaderach

    I'm not anti-Lucas at all. In fact i'm probably one of his biggest defenders on here.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 8:07 a.m. CST

    StarWarsRedux

    by kwisatzhaderach

    You can pick up that book on ebay easy enough. It's a must read.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 8:10 a.m. CST

    It's all Obi Wan's Fault. He's holding me back!!!

    by most excellent ninja

    amazing how people can remember bad dialogue and delivery.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 8:19 a.m. CST

    Kwisatz

    by StarWarsRedux

    The anti-Lucas comment wasn't so much directed at you, as to the argument. Sorry for the confusion, but still. <p>I'm sure the book is interesting, but I'm not sure how much stock I'd place in a marketing paperback from 1980. Yes, it might be one of the only pieces of documentation we have right now, but I really hope that a full, proper book is done on the making of ESB (and ROTJ, for that matter) so we can finally rest the argument. I've read persuasive pieces claiming to have proof that Lucas was on-set for the filming of essential scenes-- the lightsaber duel, the Yoda training, various Vader scenes in general, etc.-- and it'd be nice if we actually had the call-sheets from the sets on the days in question. Everybody admits that Lucas did second-unit directing work on ESB, and while even I don't think it was necessarily as extensive as ROTJ (where Marquand was basically a director in name only), I do think that it's likely he at the very least co-directed the pivotal moments. <p>Oh, and one more technical thing-- practically half the money-shots in ESB were done with matte-paintings, so Lucas had a very good reason to spend time in California overseeing ILM. My favorite shots in the movie involve matte-paintings, like the overhead portions in the last moments of Luke and Vader's duel, and Lucas would've had to monitor the painting himself in California to make sure those images were being done the way he wanted. So partly, the time apart from set was due to how the technology was limiting his role as a filmmaker-- in order to perform his primary role as director in a visual sense, he had to be away from the set, and hand over the reins to somebody else in order to act as director in a performative sense. <p>Besides, Kersh's other films- they kinda look like crap. I just don't see how he had anything to do with the visuals of ESB.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 8:29 a.m. CST

    When someone asks is you want to direct Star Wars...

    by rev_skarekroe

    ...you say YES!!

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 8:55 a.m. CST

    The prequles are maybe the biggest disappointments

    by FleshMachine

    in my life...which may indicate how good my life has been so far (knock wood)...but as a kid i lived and breathed SW...these last 3 films...to quote terry gilliam "i cant watch them, theyre dead things".

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 8:55 a.m. CST

    emeraldboy, I second your proposal about the ban...

    by 1FearlessJay

    However, as has already been demostrated, I think it falls on deaf ears.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 8:56 a.m. CST

    yodalovesyou speaks true.

    by NinjaRap

    and wins topic.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 9 a.m. CST

    Mr. Beaks: Shut up.

    by Cotton McKnight

    I was going to say fuck you but someone said something about a ban and I got scared. Star Wars Episode 3 was a good movie on the whole, in my opinion. And really, the only things wrong with the entire franchise are what this guy was asked to work on. The story, mythology, what have you is very sound and goes way beyond what most people have even thought to consider.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 9:03 a.m. CST

    Please...

    by dcut75

    Stop defending the shitty writing, terrible acting and hamfisted direction by suggesting it was shitty, terrible and hamfisted on purpose. I don't care what the influences were, GL didn't sit down and say "Gee, maybe to pay proper homage to the serials I loved as a child I should make terrible films." And one more thing, Star Wars was not a homage, it was a ripoff of Forbiden Fortress. Only now in the age of DVD and the internet does GL admit to "being inspired" by it. He stole the entire thing. End of story. Fucking hack.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 9:08 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv

    by yiannis

    So you think that rape is a joke, do you?<br><br>You think Emeraldboy has his "head up his arse" for thinking that use of the most sickening crime one human being can commit against another to justify criticism of a fucking MOVIE is totally wrong?<br><br>Try having to council one of your best friends, someone you love very much, through the aftermath of a rape. Try having to sit by, powerless to do anything, as their life falls apart in front of your eyes. Try having to live with the fact that this person you love is gone forever, replaced by bitterness, self-loathing and self-destruction, all born out of this one grotesque crime.<br><br>Then try to justify sick, stupid people who make a joke about rape.<br><br>I have been through that experience. For real. No internet bullshit. No talking crap to make myself look like clever shit. I have been through that. My best friend at university was drugged at a nightclub, taken back to an apartment and repeatedly raped. They never caught the guy who did it. It makes me physically sick to see stupid little 14 year olds joke about it on these boards and if you tried to defend this behaviour in person while I was there I would have killed you where you stood, you stupid little fuck! Grow up and learn to respect the real feelings of other people!

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 9:12 a.m. CST

    StarWarsRedux

    by kwisatzhaderach

    It's a reliable book, a day by day account of the making of the film by a writer who was on set every day, from beginning to end. I take your point about Lucas being behind the visuals though.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 9:14 a.m. CST

    indian jones was raped

    by THE_ONE_MAN_GANG

    and i did nothing to stop it... i couldve done something...

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 9:16 a.m. CST

    dcut75

    by kwisatzhaderach

    Lucas lifted about three or four elements from Hidden Fortress (not Forbidden). As he lifted from just about every other adventure film, mythic story or archetype. He may have disappointed in the last 10 years but the guy still created Star Wars and Indiana Jones. Give me a buzz when Whedon, Abrams and co do anything comparable.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 9:21 a.m. CST

    Um, don't blame Kevin Smith

    by Frankenbastard

    OBSD I’m not sure how old you are but I saw Return of the Jedi when it was originally released and my friends and I all hated it. It was just the Ewoks it was all the stupid burping and farting monsters and then the capper was turning Boba Fett into an idiot. It was hard to get behind Jedi after coming off the high of Empire. It was almost like Lucas wanted to dismantle everything that people liked about Empire out of spite and he’s been doing it ever since. So don’t blame Kevin Smith for or people like myself for having free will.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 9:22 a.m. CST

    It should say

    by Frankenbastard

    "It wasn't just the Ewoks"

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 9:27 a.m. CST

    How much prequel bashing is enough?

    by Jodet

    Bring it on, I'll never get tired of it.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 9:28 a.m. CST

    yiannis

    by Lost Jarv

    If you think the phrase "raped my childhood" is anything other than a joke, then you really need to remove your head from your arse. <P>Of course I don't think rape is a joke, but seeing as it is a)ludicrous hyperbole, b)my fucking childhood and c)impossible, then yes, I would say the phrase "raped my childhood" is a joke. <P>If you are so po-faced that you equate a phrase as obviously ridiculous as that with the actual crime then you are a pompous, censoring tool. <p>This has nothing to do with any actual rape experiences. <P>Now fuck off.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 9:35 a.m. CST

    dcut75

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    kwisatzhaderach is correct. The whole Star Wars is nothing but a ripoff/homage to The Hidden Fortress is overemphasized. There's just as much E.E. "Doc " Smith, Frank Herbert and Dan Barry's 50's tenure on Flash Gordon and as anything else. It just sounds more impressive to reference Kurosawa.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 9:38 a.m. CST

    In fact.

    by Lost Jarv

    Now I think about it, instead of going after me with your shit, you should be going after all the fanboy losers that say that and actually mean it- seeing as they are making watching a shitty movie analogous with your friend's dreadful experience. <P>That is demeaning and sordid. Not the joke. <P>Not that I think it's a good joke, and it is certainly tired, but that's not the point.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 9:51 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv

    by yiannis

    What planet are you on?<br><br>Do you think for a second ANYONE actually believes that comment is meant to be literally true? It's not a question of wanting to censor anything either. I am totally anti-censorship in every form, but I also expect people to censor THEMSELVES when what they say or what they do is very obviously causing distress to others. If you, or anyone else, genuinely can't see that using that comment can cause hurt to people - precisely because THEY relate it to the real crimes - then you are a worthless piece of shit.<br><br>You wouldn't say an offensive racist joke to a black man, would you?<br><br>You wouldn't make a Holocaust joke to a Jewish person, would you?<br><br>You wouldn't make a "flood" joke to someone who lost loved ones in New Orleans, would you?<br><br>Now, would you defend anybody who DID say these jokes in these situations?<br><br>My attack against you was NOT because you use that phrase. It was because you agressively DEFENDED use of that phrase.<br><br>If you consider it acceptable to use the word "rape" in a joking manner, then that is up to you. However, if someone has made it clear that they find it offensive, I don't consider it unreasonable for you to be expected to stop, at least around them.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 9:56 a.m. CST

    I will never voluntarily watch the prequels again.

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    I think the STAR WARS prequels are, quite possibly, the single most disappointing cinematic experience of a generation. If they're not, then INDY 4 has got to be right up there.<P>I've said this in Talkback before but I'll say it again: STAR WARS and I quit dating at somepoint during the middle of AOTC. I realized that the relationship was over and that there was no hope to rekindle the fire that was once shared between us. And I do not buy the forgiving attitude expressed towards ROTS. To me, that film is every bit as wooden, dopey, and eye-roll inducing as the other two. George Lucas turned his STAR WARS story into a long video game cut-scene; one that is so devoid of life that I don't think any director (short of COMPLETE creative control) could have saved it (see Spielberg/INDY 4).

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 9:58 a.m. CST

    What the hell are you talking about you toolbox

    by Lost Jarv

    if you think the phrase is remotely analogous to the real event then your fucking nuts, and also far too thin skinned to be on here. <P>Christ, are you for real?

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:02 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    Despite your using the word misogyny in your posts at every opportunity, your response to the rape comment prove yet again what a total dickhead you are. I love how say that you want to feed Lucas his gizzards implying a threat yet you cried foul when I said that I wanted to cave your skull in. You claim to be a university graduate working in an office job that you loathe so you steal time from your employer by constantly posting on this site instead of doing your job. Here's a novel idea: Since your so brilliant why don't you use those great brains and that extensive vocabulary of your's and find another gig instead of festering in your current position and taking your frustrations out here. You're big on the using the tired old fanboy-still-living-at-mommy's basement insult but I bet you can still be found every night sitting between mum and dad watching the telly since the English never seem to want to leave the nest. Let's be real here. you've never won any kind of battle in your life other than on these talkbacks where you always have to have the last word.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:02 a.m. CST

    and I didn't "aggresively" defend it.

    by Lost Jarv

    I have come to the conclusion that English is your second language.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:05 a.m. CST

    yiannnis

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    He wouldn't say any of those things to anybody's face. He's a spindly little keyboard coward who's only outlet to compensate for his pantywaistness is to fuck with people here.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:07 a.m. CST

    ...vomit in the punchbowl....

    by redhankyspanky

    "So don’t blame Kevin Smith for or people like myself for having free will. " <p> as if "silent jay" having the same opinion gives yours any more weight. No, Im not blaming you for "having free will", Im blaming you for being an unoriginal, bandwagon-riding cockstain. <p> Lucas didnt ruin Star Wars, netnerds like you did. RotJ (or any of SW) wasnt made for any of us personally. Like it or dont. If you dont, find something you do like. Move on. Are you seriously going to bitch about how Lucas raped your childhood until you draw your last breath?<p> Man, thats just fucking sad. <p> "Bring it on, I'll never get tired of it." <p> Loud and clear, W. Just fucking pathetic. Its like somone being proud of being the guy at the party that vomits in the punchbowl. <p> since when did elitism become some sort of virtue? Oh honey, the ewoks made you sad? Why dont you put on a dress and swish around for us? You big pussy.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:12 a.m. CST

    Paulie, paulie, paulie

    by Lost Jarv

    Now, asshole. From the top- <P>Feeding Lucas his gizzards is hyperbole. Much as "rape my childhood" is. <P>There is an obvious difference between me making an, admittedly stupid, threat that can never be carried out when the person isn't here, to you failing utterly at debate and resorting to threats of violence when other people (not just me, I've seen you do it a lot) utterly demolish your feeble straw men (like this one). The fact that you can't see that difference is just indicative of what a feeble minded troll-let you are. <P>Thanks for the life lecture. Appreciated. Really. <P>Find one example of me using that insult. One. <P>Find one example of me being misogynistic. One. <P>You, on the other hand, are, as DocP says, an uber-agressive verbal punchbag with a lengthy track record of making a right twat of himself. And I notice that you can't keep away- good to see you can stick to your word. I was ignoring you, despite seeing your usual "I'm going to beat you up" posts aimed at other users, but you've seen fit to irritate me by getting involved in something that had nothing to do with you. <P>Kindly fuck off.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:13 a.m. CST

    by Paul Bucciarelli

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:14 a.m. CST

    redhankyspanky

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Quote: "Why dont you put on a dress and swish around for us?"<P>Listen to Bill Hicks much?

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:14 a.m. CST

    Get rid of talkbalk

    by masteryoda007

    I like movie news and all but I think it is time for the Talkback section to go bye bye. The amount of cheeky cunts on here is un-fuckin-believable.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:15 a.m. CST

    this is news?

    by j_difool

    god this site is boring.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:18 a.m. CST

    and you're next post offering

    by Lost Jarv

    solidarity (or at least a handjob) to yiannis shows what a little twat you are. This is an anonymous internet forum. There is nothing to do with the physical world here, nothing written here reflects or makes the sightest difference to real life. Therefore, there is no physical relevance here. How stupid are you?<P>I think you're projecting your obvious inadaquecies onto me again. So you weigh 8 stone, do you? How exactly are you going to beat anyone up then? come on tough guy, give me an answer.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:19 a.m. CST

    yoda-

    by Lost Jarv

    Look at the state of the articles here. Talkback is this sites reason for being.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:21 a.m. CST

    The original script for ROTS must've been atrocious!

    by blackmantis

    If Tom Stoppard "improved" it, imagine how bad it was before.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:24 a.m. CST

    Hey Paulie...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...the difference, you pussy-fisted fuckspoon, is that Jarv is using hyperbole whereas you actually invite people to come to your hometown -- for real -- to be beaten to a pulp by you. I knew you're about as sharp as a bag of wet hair, but I'm still surprised that you couldn't grasp that difference. <p> Rule number one of the Internets: anyone actually resorting to the threat of physical violence online is in all liklihood incapable of defeating anyone with more advanced kung-fu skills than Stephen Hawking's.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:30 a.m. CST

    "pussy-fisted fuckspoon"

    by Lost Jarv

    I'm totally stealing that.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:31 a.m. CST

    Boys, boys, stop fighting

    by ledbetter51

    You can both marry me!

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:37 a.m. CST

    WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT STOP

    by ArcadianDS

    You mean to tell me, that the Phantom Menace movie we saw - in the theaters - was a script that MULTIPLE PROFESSIONAL WRITERS all 'punched-up'?<p> Because that thing watched like a first draft screenplay if ever there was such a thing.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:37 a.m. CST

    lost Jarv

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    Hyperbole again? Did you just learn that word too? You also seem to be in love with strawmen. Show me my "lengthy record" where I've threatened a lot. I could be wrong (I'm sure those words are foreign to you) but I really have not posted on here very much. I love how you have to bring your fellow douchebag DocPazuzu into this. Feel free to pull up all my posts for evidence. I'll bet the threat count is around three. I'm sure that it will help eat up a few more minutes and help the time go by your in your torturous, dead-end loser job. As far as winning/losing debates, you do not debate civilly. Seriously, you're obviously an intelligent person so why resort to the constantly insulting people that disagree with you? Does it really make your long, dreary work day go by that much faster?

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:39 a.m. CST

    shit.

    by Lost Jarv

    I forgot to point out the massive stupidity and hypocrisy of criticising someone for using an insult and then using it IN THE SAME FUCKING SENTENCE. <P>D'oh.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:40 a.m. CST

    Ok back up here!

    by yiannis

    First of all, I am not "thin skinned". You can hurl any kind of abuse you want at me and it washes off my back. However, the experience I related was the lowest point of my life and something that still burns me up 10 years on.<br><br>Secondly, I realise that it is just a joke told by stupid little 14 year olds, but that is not why I attacked you. I attacked you because you said someone had their head up their arse for thinking the joke was in poor taste and that REALLY burned me. That might not be what you meant, and you have subsequently made your position a bit more clear, but how am I to know what you mean if you do not express yourself clearly?<br><br>Thirdly, my last post was typed before I saw your "In fact" post, which actually explained your opinion on the subject rather than just pointing out the features of the joke itself. If I had seen it, my response would have been different. At that point, all I knew was that your response to me objecting to the joke was to point out the seperate elements of the joke in detail and say that it had nothing to do with real life after I had clearly relayed a real life experience. In my state of mind at the time, that just seemed like rubbing salt in the wounds. Again, if you do not make your opinion clear, all I have to go on are the actual words you type.<br><br>Fourthly, we both spelled "aggressively" wrong, so English must be the second language for both of us...<br><br>Fifthly, thank you for your comment Paulie, but if you really do offer to beat people up as regularly as these other users claim I don't want your support. This was not about macho violence or posturing. This was about an emotional reaction.<br><br>Lost Jarv, you have now made your opinion clear and it would appear my attack on you was misplaced. Although I obviously stand by my opinion, I apologise for attacking you. I am going to leave this discussion here, as quite frankly it is putting me in a mindset I don't want to be in.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:41 a.m. CST

    In retrospect-The Prequels PM is the best

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Phantom Menace is the most entertaining, Attack of the Clones is just plain awful on all levels, and Revenge of the Sith is over rated. I now like Phantom Menace the best out of the prequels because: It's got the best John Williams score of the prequels, It has the best lightsaber duel (Obi/Qui-Gon/Maul), it had the least predictable story, it had the best beggining, it had the best chase/race sequence, it had the best new alien design (Sebulba), it had the best cinematography, and it had the most iconic prequel character-Darth Maul. Sure it is more flawed than ROTS, but I still enjoy watching it more, and Attack of the Clones is much bigger mess (other than the Obi/Jango fight is the only real worthwile scene). I do think that that the only part of Phantom Menace that I absolutely can't stand is that whole 10-15 minute stretch when they find Annakin, they go to his home.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:42 a.m. CST

    Doc Pazuzu

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    Rule number two: sometimes, as in this case, rule number one does not apply. It's a shame we'll both never find out. Not unless I offer a nice cash reward for your personal contact info. Any takers? I know times are tough and Christmas shopping can be so draining on a wallet.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:46 a.m. CST

    Jebus...

    by ledbetter51

    Maybe we should just jettison this talkback and start over. So much bile already. <p> If you're going to scream at each other here, could you at least make it about Star Wars? It's less entertaining for the rest of us when you get into off-topic hating.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:46 a.m. CST

    Again, paulie

    by Lost Jarv

    I frequently debate civilly, and I also admit when I'm wrong. <P>I didn't bring DocP "into it". I quoted him. A difference that you seem to be unable to understand. Another one. <P>Re Threat Count: Since you are uber-agressive banned troll Wanananahara7, you know damned well that I can't (even if I had the inclintation to) cite every instance of agression. Feel free to deny your previous identity. We'll let this one go. <P>Regarding your question: Yes- feel better now?

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:46 a.m. CST

    Each and every one of you...

    by DoctorWho?

    ...is a loser.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:47 a.m. CST

    Just kidding

    by Paul Bucciarelli

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:51 a.m. CST

    Of course, you speak for yourself, Beaks...

    by Atticus Finch

    ...as there are many who don't think the prequels needed rescuing or are disappointing at all. Ass.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:54 a.m. CST

    Fair 'nuff, Yiannis.

    by Lost Jarv

    I type fast, so frequently forget to put things in and have to come back- it leads to breakdowns in communication not to mention some truly dreadful typos. The only reason I thought English may be your second language was that I thought maybe you were missing some nuance and I wasn't being clear. Me? I've no excuse.<P>Done with now. You're really one of the more reasonable users on here, so I don't want to flame war with you- that is for mouthbreathers (Paulie)and trolls (Paulie).

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:56 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    Why do you and Doc keep insisiting that I'm the troll (I guess that am. I'll take the hit) that changed their name? I've only ever posted on this site under my real name. I've even gone so far as to reference my city. Why would I go from a fake name to my using my real one? It really doesn't make sense does it?

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:56 a.m. CST

    "Just Kidding"

    by Lost Jarv

    No you weren't. <P>There's never been the slightest sign of a sense of humour about anything you've ever written. You meant every fucking word of that original post.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:58 a.m. CST

    I meant

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    just kidding about the cash bounty. He's not worth it.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:59 a.m. CST

    Why?

    by Lost Jarv

    Because of your threat about me coming to "The Burgh" for a kicking (which begs 3 questions: 1)Why would I do this, I can't fight sleep, 2) How stupid do you think I am that I would do this, and 3)What would me getting beaten up prove anyway?.) This is the exact terminology that Wananahara7 used. To the letter.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:04 a.m. CST

    Sorry to burst your bubble Lost Jarv

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    but this time your are most definitley wrong. Repeat these words: I AM WRONG THIS TIME. PAUL BUCCIARELLI AND WANANAHARA7 ARE NOT THE SAME PERSON.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:07 a.m. CST

    you da man Paul!

    by just pillow talk

    thread 38122...<p>I just love how people by Paul Bucciarelli Aug 30th, 2008 10:04:01 AM<p> using aliases throw the words coward and pussy around. I'm lancearmstrongsothernut and I declare HBO to be spineless weaklings. WTF? It's kind of like Bush's cabinet questioning Kerry's military service.<p>thread 39216...<p> Lost Jarv by Paul Bucciarelli Nov 25th, 2008 08:25:40 AM pussy

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:09 a.m. CST

    You are not a geek if you can't love the Prequels

    by Lukecash

    Revenge of the Sith is easily the second best Star Wars film. Or at lease ties with Empire.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:12 a.m. CST

    I would like to see Lucas to a low budget sci fi film

    by Charlie_Allnut

    that would be completely original ala THX 1138 just to see how it would turn out. But honestly fuck Lucas (after 1990). Talk about buying your own hype.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:12 a.m. CST

    Paulie...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...was also known as LambLion and even under that name he threatened people with violence in "The Burgh". No coincidence here unless every citizen of that city is a po-faced, faux-violent, troglodytic fucktard who habitually threatens film geeks online.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:13 a.m. CST

    Did some dickhead really threaten physical violence?

    by toadkillerdog

    On the internets? I mean, really, did some supreme motarded piece of twice fucked baboon shit really threaten someone here, on an anonymous online board, with physical violence, in a non-joking -albeit making them a total joke, manner? I refuse to believe it. Flat out refuse.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:13 a.m. CST

    just pillow talk

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    Are you being nice or sarcastic? It's hard to tell sometimes.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:13 a.m. CST

    JPT

    by DocPazuzu

    Nice one.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:17 a.m. CST

    Fred's from "The Burgh"

    by Lost Jarv

    and has never threatened anyone. So I think it's just WanaPaulLion. But everything else about that post is accurate.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:17 a.m. CST

    Sorry Paulie.

    by DocPazuzu

    I know it must suck to have run out of self-mutilating German cannibals to enter culinary suicide pacts with, pacts which you unfortunatly haven't honored your end of, but stooping to offering bounties for the personal info of online geeks for God knows what perverted purposes? Man, that's just CREEPY.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:18 a.m. CST

    I randomly googled "Paul Bucciarelli"

    by Droid

    Is this you?<p>http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0117904/<p>If so, no wonder you're threatening to cave someones head in. This losers been a Prop Assistant for 20 years!<p>Description of a Props Assistant. "The Props Assistant is the junior member of the props crew who look after the props during filming."<p>Translation: The Props Assistant carries a "prop" from the truck to the soundstage, then carries the "prop" from the soundstage to the truck. Repeat as needed.<p>Fuck, I'd be angry if I spent 20 years of my life carrying shit from one place to another.<p>If this is not you, then there is another Paul Bucciarelli out there who is also a sad cunt.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:19 a.m. CST

    Hey BEAKS

    by timmer33

    The youtube video url is wrong. Take the quotation mark off the end. It's pretty good stuff ... why the prequels were conceptually wrong. Good comedy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDCjIjsZp_Y

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:20 a.m. CST

    I guess now...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...we know what he'd be caving our skulls in with: glistening, used dildos from gay porn sets.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:25 a.m. CST

    Doc Pazuzu

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    as opposed to whatever slice of heaven you live in? Where is that again? Now it's your turn douchebag. Repeat these words: PAUL BUCCIARELLI AND LAMBLION ARE NOT THE SAME PERSON. If this LambLion did threaten you, I wish I knew who they were so I could buy them a drink. You're one of the biggest tools on this site. Most peole hate you. Congratulations. You, Lost Jarv and Dannyglover'sdickhead (I love how that loser's only claim to fame is having somebody on a commentary track assume that he's some kid) can have this place. Have fun ruling the roost on these talkbacks. To me that's kind of like being the smartest kid on the short bus.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:26 a.m. CST

    I am not the droid

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    Try reading the whole IMDB page next dickhead.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:27 a.m. CST

    The prequels are all "coulda been" flicks

    by alienindisguise

    there is so much lost potential in all 3 of them. for every cool sene there's 20 that suck ass but that's the way it goes.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:28 a.m. CST

    "Now this is podracing"

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Indeed it is.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:29 a.m. CST

    So long Paulie.

    by DocPazuzu

    A friendly word of advice to speed you on your way: <p> When you inevitably come back under a new username, try to actually seem like someone else to avoid getting clobbered like you were today when your history is brought up. Also, you may want to consider, upon your NEXT departure, not to say the equivalent of "so long, losers, you can keep AICN" because that's exactly what Whananahara7 and LambLion both said. Repeatedly.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:31 a.m. CST

    Woah

    by Lost Jarv

    Keep DGDB out of this. We're civilised compared. <P>This is hysterical. Are you proud of putting the ass in assistant?

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:33 a.m. CST

    Doc Pazuzu

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    Prove that we're the same person. Saying the same thing over and over again does not automatically make it true. I bet you agreed with Bush about the WMDs didn't you?

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:34 a.m. CST

    Paul

    by Droid

    I read it all<p>You're still a loser.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:35 a.m. CST

    Paul

    by Droid

    I read it again just to make sure.<p>Yep. Loser.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:37 a.m. CST

    I've always loved all six films. I guess I'm lucky.

    by TheLastCleric

    I think the films on the whole are pretty remarkable despite so many people claiming to the contrary. The acting has always been the weakest part of the films, the original trilogy included, but Lucas' attempt to write the dialogue in the prequels as some sort of educated high speech certainly made the acting in the prequels seem much more stiff. That said, there are many things that the prequels do better, such as vastly superior lightsaber duels. That Maul vs. Jedi dual in TPM is still one of the best fight sequences ever put to film. There are cringe-worthy moments in all of the SW films, Empire included, but I feel that when taken as a whole, the sheer spectacle and dense, compelling mythology makes a few uneven segments easier to swallow. I grew up with the originals and loved the prequels just as much and personally, I'm leaning towards ROTS as my favorite. I'll also never understand all the hate for Jedi, which despite the Ewoks had some of the most emotional and profound scenes in the entire saga. I guess some people would rather focus on the negative, but SW fandom for me has never let up and I'm even enjoying the Clone Wars cartoon, which has become a pretty good little show.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:37 a.m. CST

    And Doc...

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    you seem to think that being "clobbered" (not that I was) on an internet talkback really amounts to something? Wow. This place must really mean something to you. Sad.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:38 a.m. CST

    Not the droids

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    No. You're lying. What do you do ?

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:40 a.m. CST

    Paul. You seem to be missing the point

    by Lost Jarv

    We think you're this cretinous knuckle dragging inbred with a class A history of trolling because you constantly use the same phrases and have the same stylistic ticks. Not just one or two that anyone could take off/ use as a conicidence, but all of them. <P>And if Paulwhatever is your real name and you really do live in "The Burgh" (Where happy dreams go to die)then you are even more of a tool than previously thought.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:42 a.m. CST

    hahahaha

    by DocPazuzu

    "Being clobbered online means nothing to me, NOTHING! (but I wasn't...)"

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:42 a.m. CST

    and no-one thinks winning a row on here

    by Lost Jarv

    is important. <P>Except, I'd argue, you. My reason for thinking this? You're the only one that comes back with threats of violence.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:45 a.m. CST

    Paul

    by Droid

    I'm an aspiring Prop Assistant. It's been a life long dream to carry shit from one place to another. Since you've been doing it for so long, could you impart a little of your wisdom? I know, I know, I must bend my legs at the knees when I lift something heavy, but what do I do when I want to put it down again? It just seems too complicated. What's your secret?

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:48 a.m. CST

    Fred is a proud 'burgher(?) not sure if that is what they are ca

    by toadkillerdog

    But Fred is a proud Steelers fan and Pittsburgh native, and he is probably the sweetest person on the internets. So, it must only be this Paulie person who is a bit tetched in the head.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:48 a.m. CST

    Paul

    by just pillow talk

    Sarcasm this time.<p>Cheers.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:49 a.m. CST

    Who cares when Motoko Kusanagi is saying our eyes are fucked

    by Se7en

    big time in 2009 ?!

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:51 a.m. CST

    Paul Bucciarelli

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    You know whats even more pathetic than my shitty claim to fame? The cum receptacle (thats you) that name drops me to ensure his post gets read. I fell for it, you got my attention. I'm here telling you to go fuck yourself, get violently raped with a shotgun and all that fun stuff. You happy? Does it make you feel warm and loved inside now that I responded? Good. Now try being original you stupid twat. You're boring. I've wasted enough time on you. In a week you'll be forgotten. Go the fuck away.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:52 a.m. CST

    I'd better stop being rude

    by Lost Jarv

    because if he's spent 20 yeasr carrying shit from one place to the next he could be built like a brick shithouse. <P>In which case, my pathetic ass could be in for the biggest kicking since Agincourt. <P>What's really hilarious, is that Yiannis, who he mistook for a damsel in distress, told him to fuck off and that he didn't want or need his help. <P>This makes me wonder if Paul hadn't been hiding in the woodwork waiting for someone else to have a go at me and then steamed back in at the first sign of someone else starting. <P>Which, ironically, makes him a pussy and a bully.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:53 a.m. CST

    Re: blackmantis - ROTS 1st draft

    by ricarleite

    It was bad. I mean, not as "I love the powerglove it's so bad" kinda bad. I really meant BAD as in opposed to good. Real bad.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:55 a.m. CST

    Paulie - word of advice

    by toadkillerdog

    Since you are using your real name, it must mean that you are trying to get some free self-promotion. Not an unheard of strategy for someone in the biz or trying to get or stay on the biz. But, this is an anonymous site. That means, you have little or no idea who it is you are confronting. So, when you start throwing around such utter nonsense as threatening someone with violence on ths site, and using your real name, perhaps someone who might have been in position to help your career along, will rememeber when your resume crosses their desk, that 'hey wasn't that dude the nutjob who threatened to beat people up on AICN?' <p> Not a good strategy, unless you are not really Paul, and you are trying to sabotage him. Now THAT would be a good strategy!.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:59 a.m. CST

    not the droids/Lost Jarv

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    Good way to avoid a direct question. I'll ask again: What do you do (for a living)? Yannis didn't tell me to fuck off. He was very cool about not wanting support from me and I respect his reason. I was on his side because I hate that expression and have had several female friends unfortunately go through the same experience.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, noon CST

    DocP

    by Lost Jarv

    Yeuch- I hope he washes them first. Or at least doesn't carry them to Europe "internally" to cave our skulls in with.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 12:04 p.m. CST

    I suggest you drop 2for2true

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    and begin worshiping the skull crusher, pronto.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 12:08 p.m. CST

    toadkillerdog

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    You realize don't you that people that work on movies don't even know or care about these sites? I constantly get "What's Ain't It Cool?" (or Joblo, etc.) whenever I ask if they go on this site. Thanks for the strategy tip though!

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 12:17 p.m. CST

    this Paul Bucciarelli cunt is not the real guy...

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    ...no way in hell. I see the real Paul Bucciarelli does a lot of Kevin Smith's shit. I bet Paul The Anal Rape Victim was cruising around the IMDB page of his favorite director, and grabbed a random name off the crew list.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 12:20 p.m. CST

    Paul

    by toadkillerdog

    That may or may not be the case (and I suspect you are talking to an insular group. But it is still no excuse for you to act like a childish jackass and threaten people with violence on an anonymous site, big man.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 12:23 p.m. CST

    Toad

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    Here is what Paul's response to you will look like: <p> "Yeah?!! Well........I'll KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT!!"

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 12:27 p.m. CST

    This site has been so boring as of late...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...that I'm half tempted to join in on Paul Bucciarelli's side.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 12:28 p.m. CST

    You know, just to make it interesting.

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 12:31 p.m. CST

    toadkillerdog

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    An insular group? What, like every dept. on the crew? Like on every show that I work on? Kevin Smith (I've only worked on two of his movies Danny but thanks for beefing up my resume) and some of the young fanboy PAs are the only people that I can think of offhand that would even know what AICN is.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 12:36 p.m. CST

    Paul Bucciarelli is a fucking liar.

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    Now he's trying to get everyone to swallow the handfuls of shit he is shoving in your mouth. <p>Okay great dude...you're a Property Master....oooooohhhh I'm impressed. Do you like get to see the movie stars?!! In person?!! Oh my God....have you ever met Tom Selleck?!! Does everyone in Hollywood really drive a Porsche?!

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 12:37 p.m. CST

    Mr. Nice Gaius

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    Please do. I'm sure people are tired of reading these asinine posts by myself and the douchebag brothers.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 12:42 p.m. CST

    Danny

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    No but I had to pull Robert Conrad out of your wife's asshole once. Not just his dick. The whole actor. He's was really small in stature. but she still was moaning to beat the band.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 12:43 p.m. CST

    Paul Bucciarelli

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Well, if you're a relative newcomer to AICN, then the shitload of irony contained in my previous post is probably lost on you. But don't worry, folks here never really get tired of a flame war. Asinine or otherwise.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 12:46 p.m. CST

    Mr. Nice Gaius

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    No, it wasn't lost on me. I've read your posts. I'm just really surprised that you didn't pile on too.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 12:47 p.m. CST

    REV_SKAREKROE

    by J-Dizzle

    "I couldn't help it... it just popped in there..."<p> "*What?* *What* just popped in there??"

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 12:53 p.m. CST

    Three things that would have made the prequels better -

    by performingmonkey

    1) Made Anakin a young teenager in TPM, not a little kid, with him best friends with Owen Lars and they argue when Anakin decides to leave with the Jedi. Owen resents him for leaving the farm and his mother behind. This makes his attitude in ANH much more realistic. Going off the prequels Owen and Beru hardly even knew Anakin. 2) Make it LESS about Anakin's destiny to 'bring balance' to the Force and more about his own personal decision to get involved with Qui-Gon. The whole thing with him having a higher midichlorian count than Yoda is fucking ridiculous. 3) Showed us more of Palpatine turning Anakin. He should have been directly involved in Anakin's mother's capture and death. The bullshit about him possibly creating Anakin by 'manipulating' the midichlorians to create life should also have been completely obliterated from any script. Utter bullshit. Should have been more about character's motivations than bullshit destiny and balance.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 12:54 p.m. CST

    TOADKILLERDOG....

    by J-Dizzle

    People can help you're career here?? This is fucking AICN! It ain't exactly a bastion for making movie deals!

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 1:01 p.m. CST

    IS THIS THE REAL PAUL BUCCIARELLI?

    by BringingSexyBack

    Do mine eyes deceive me!??!

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 1:03 p.m. CST

    I HAVE DOCPAZUZU'S PERSONAL CONTACT INFO

    by BringingSexyBack

    But it'll cost ya. Yeah. It'll cost ya big time.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 1:06 p.m. CST

    BringingSexyBack

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    (sigh) If only you were serious and had a PayPal account.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 1:06 p.m. CST

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    and a shovel and some lime.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 1:24 p.m. CST

    The line is actually quite thick...

    by Darth Macchio

    ...between "suck" and "doesn't suck" when it comes to movies. The prequels all sucked in ascending order. Been there, done that of course. Old news. And sorry, opinion or not, the first act of RotJ is better than the entire RotS movie. The intro action scene? Try the same thing in Jedi only without the bullshit weightless look of cgi! (I'm really really sick of cgi, instantly distracting if done at all badly, as most of it is). Of course, the rest of Jedi is on par with the better parts of the prequels but only slightly better. Outside of the Emperor/Vader/Luke scenes, which I thought were excellent. I actually believed it when Vader, the unseen Prowse acting behind a mask mind you, is obviously struggling with watching his son die and obeying his master. You can see his resolve grow and then force him into action...a great scene. All by itself, that final scene is better than the entire representation of Palpatine's screen time in all of the prequels. I would never argue opinion (no accounting for taste, etc) but I think even empirically, the prequels are obviously inferior works of art when compared to the original trilogy (again, been there, done that).<p>Lucas is a brilliant story-teller and a great second-unit director and nothing more...for the most part, anyway.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 1:33 p.m. CST

    Me thinks it's about time for a REMAKE!!!

    by alucardvsdracula

    1. It ain't called "Phantom Menace". 2. It ain't written by Lucas. 3. It ain't directed by Lucas. 4. It don't have "wittle Annie" in the fucker. 5. It don't have Jar Jar. 6. It has an engaging story. 7. It has cool designs on enemy robots and environments. 8. It has REAL sets and not blue and greenscreen soundstages. 9. I could go on. 10. But I won't. 11. Yeah a time machine would have been good. 12. Lucas is a cunt.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 1:42 p.m. CST

    Dark Knight is sooo overrated compared to SW

    by darthwaz1

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 1:49 p.m. CST

    For fuck sake...

    by Racer Z

    Let it go AICN!! It's been almost ten years! How long are all you whiney bitches going to cry?

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 2:05 p.m. CST

    And you Darth Macchio...

    by Racer Z

    being the master artist/craftsman/technician that you are, no doubt are the definitive authority on CGI. I love it when internet morons speak on the merits of an art form for which they obviously have no knowledge of or what it takes to make it happen. I guess I just don't have the patience for a bunch of witless tirades today.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 2:56 p.m. CST

    should i be surprised none of you imbeciles give no kind of shit

    by duanejones

    excuse me -- SIR FUCKING DAVID HARE?!?!?! i mean, i realize he only won BAFTAs, Oliviers, New York Drama Critics Circles, &c., &c. -- you know, snooze factors where CGI expertise and Paul Pazuzu and fuck all else is concerned. but i sort of hoped ONE of you sad, pimply, culture-deficient dipshits might wonder what else the author of _plenty_, _map of the world_, _stuff happens_, writer/performer of _via dolorosa_ (yo, quint, put the dvd of his performance of that in your queue and smoke it!) &fuckingc. might have to say beyond whether or not he might have coaxed a BAFTA award out of jar-jar...oh, but wait, now i'm showing how little CGI expertise i have. what right could i possibly have to complain?<P>request: could one of you pathetic motherfuckers kindly get a life? thanks in advance as i don't hold my breath...meantime, beaks, post that bad boy ASAP, and good looking out on paying attention to some REAL talent!!!

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 2:56 p.m. CST

    Heh heh - Michael Bay's STAR WARS

    by spud mcspud

    Obi-Wan turns to Luke as he face Vader in the Death Star Hangar:<P> "Shit just got real, y'all."<P> The lightsaber duel is unwatchable; everyone in the audience dies of Bayhem-induced epilepsy.<P> Han and Luke high-five each other in the Temple on Massassi at the end of A NEW HOPE. The only redeeming feature? Leia is played by Scarlet Johannsen or Megan Fox, and the Falcon has flames. And Vader has nipples on the Sith-suit.<P> Michael Bay is the sexiest tomboy beanpole director EVER. Fact...

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 2:57 p.m. CST

    ...about an interview with DAVID HARE???

    by duanejones

    ...went the rest of my original title...

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 2:59 p.m. CST

    Dickblood's back in full effect

    by spud mcspud

    Eviscerate that bitch, Danny. My man.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 3:06 p.m. CST

    Wait, so ROTS sucks now?

    by deathbird

    Seemed like damn near every critic and moviegoer ate that movie up at the time of release. (Don't believe me? Check Metacritic.) "Best one since Empire" was the consensus.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 3:08 p.m. CST

    duanejones

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    Sorry. I was too busy being a troll to address the subject at hand. I've seen two of Hare's plays: The Judas Kiss (really liked) and Stuff Happens (not so much) and would love to see more. Great writer.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 3:25 p.m. CST

    deathbird...everything sucks now. Didn't you know that?

    by skycrapper

    talkbackers are like those kids at school that would borrow you nintendo games and tell you everyone of them sucked. Even when you let them borrow Legend of Zelda , Blaster Master, and Mike Tyson's Punchout they would give them back to you and say "Those were awsome!, but they kind of sucked."

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 3:35 p.m. CST

    Paul B.

    by duanejones

    thank you for restoring my faith in fanboy humanity...you're no troll, though i urge you in the strongest possible terms to put robert conrad back where you found him. then wash your hands...

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 3:42 p.m. CST

    duanejones

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    Already done. Now if only I can get her to quit using Danny DeVito to peg her pathetic husband.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 3:45 p.m. CST

    Lucas Raped my childhood

    by Dan Halen

    Does anyone know who coined this phrase? Where did it first appear? Someone run a lexis search on this. or something...

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 3:47 p.m. CST

    Lucas Rot...

    by Dan Halen

    I remember suffering through The Fifth Element and seeing the ILM effects in that film and thinking, oh no, this is what the prequels will look like. This is not good. Lucas just lifted one shitty sci fi city and used it for corscucucucucant. He even lifted that scene where joan of arc from resident evil falls into the flying cadilac

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 3:48 p.m. CST

    Jimmy Smitts

    by Dan Halen

    Now that guy was a funny Star Wars character. The poofy seinfield pirate shirt? That awful chill inducing line, "and so it ends..." and then busting out of there in a pink cadilac?!!?! wtf. Amazing. Great comedy.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 3:58 p.m. CST

    Oh my...Racer Z...say it isn't so!

    by Darth Macchio

    Hehehe....ok, I'll bite. I'm quite familiar with the technology thank you (moreso than I care to go into here, altho feel free to prognosticate and presume as you need to). But I wasn't even ragging on the technology itself per se, but moreso ragging on the tendency to half-ass it or simply rely on it or to use it in a manner which puts far too much emphasis on the design, style, and movement and not enough on the seamless insertion into live action (altho I was not that specific, admittedly).<p>if it's more expensive than practical effects but yet typically looks worse than practical effects then why the fuck is everyone using it?<p>the movies that do it best are the ones where cgi effects are easiest to miss, no? sorry if you work in the cgi industry and take personal offense on things like this. I didn't mean to be a meanie or (gasp) an internet moron! as if! You related to Lucas? You're dad a CGI creation? If I rag a photo does that mean I hate photography? Ragging on the prequels is ancient and old but still fun, natch!<p>We'll count you as one of 8 people (at last count) who actually think the cgi vampires in 'I Am Legend' are excellent and represent a little known "art form" (read: which movie has it been used as an art form instead of a tool? cgi-movies don't count but i'm sure there's at least a few movies where its actually used as an art form but that's not what we're talking about).<p>But of course, you're right and everybody else is wrong. All cgi is seamless and is never obvious. And if anyone says it is it's simply because they're internet morons who do not understand the technology. Just like they didn't like RotS cause they didn't understand it. Same for Transformers and I am legend. Hell, I haven't seen Watchmen yet but already I don't understand the movie or the story or algebra either! cause I want the squid and other people don't!<p>Sure thing, yup. I'm sure you're absolutely correct.<p>On planet Ass, maybe.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 4:01 p.m. CST

    I refuse to watch any SW movie...

    by darthwaz1

    until Lucas is finally "finished" and releases his "final versions" but who the fuck knows when that will be. Until then I'm really enjoying the clone wars show.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 4:16 p.m. CST

    is Lucas rot kinda like Dick Rot?

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    I used to get it when I jerked off with shampoo and let it dry out too much. Fuck that shit.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:03 p.m. CST

    Frankenbastard

    by OBSD

    Well, if I was 10 when I saw Jedi in the theaters, then get a calculator and figure out how old I am now, you asshat. Also, there's no fucking way you were a kid when you saw Jedi "in theaters". Nobody I knew who is my age who saw it when it opened felt "It was hard to get behind Jedi after coming off the high of Empire." First of all, what "high" took you three years to come off of? Even if you're talking about the "high" of the 1982 re-release, that's still a year. So you must have been in your twenties, at the earliest when you saw Jedi when it was "first released". You certainly weren't around my age. If you were you must have been the biggest douchebag kid who ever walked the earth. Or, maybe when you say "first released" you meant when it was re-released in 1997, which is probably more accurate. Also, I don't remember "all the burping and farting monsters". I remember one monster that burped. Once. As for the Boba Fett thing? Please. He could have slipped on a million banana peels and done an infinite mount of prattfalls and it would still be better that Lucas (re)writing his origin in Episode 2: "Oh, yeah. He's a clone" So in summation: I'm sticking with both theories: One, that Kevin Smith started the ROTJ hate (or at least made it okay in the minds of other fanboys to hate on it as well), and that two, you are a grade "A" douchenozzle.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:09 p.m. CST

    Cause ROTS Is The Best Star Wars Movie Since ESB

    by LaserPants

    But I remember lots of people at AICN "hating" it after seeing it 500 times in the theatre that summer. "Hating" it more and more each time they saw it.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:10 p.m. CST

    Kevin Smith started the ROTJ hate? Say what?

    by deathbird

    Return of the Jedi got the same lukewarm reviews as TPM and AOTC. The hate was inevitable once nerds hit mid-to-late adolescence.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:28 p.m. CST

    Return of the Jedi

    by kwisatzhaderach

    was the greatest film my 9 year old self had ever seen. That's all that really matters, despite what I say about it now.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:29 p.m. CST

    Mid-to late adolescence?

    by OBSD

    So that would put the kids who saw ROTJ in the theaters between 15-20 or so when Clerks came out. Which is technically mid to late adolescence. And also the perfect age for the viewers of Clerks when it came out, if I'm not mistaken. Point mine.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:38 p.m. CST

    The Parts With Vader And Luke In ROTJ Are Gold

    by LaserPants

    The rest of it... not so much. Although the final space battle is pretty cool too.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:51 p.m. CST

    To clarify...

    by OBSD

    I don't think that EVERYBODY who doesn't like ROTJ is under the thrall of the Kevin Smith. That's retarded. But I do feel that the meme of "ROTJ=Ewoks=teh suck" was spread (but not started) widely by Clerks. Everyone around my age in the 80's loved ROTJ and even watched both Ewok movies. Up until the early 90's I could not name one person who didn't like ROTJ. Then, about 6 months after I first saw Clerks in 1994, I started hearing grumblings about how ROTJ sucked, and now it's a full fledged roar and my only clue as to where it came from is Clerks. So there's my reasoning. Make of it what you will.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:53 p.m. CST

    by OBSD

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:53 p.m. CST

    by OBSD

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:53 p.m. CST

    I didn't need Clerks to detect ROTJ's rotten stench

    by deathbird

    When I was 8, ROTJ was my favorite movie. At 13, I thought to myself, "Something ain't right here, and it's not just the Ewoks." By the time I was 16, I was desperate for a proper follow-up to EMPIRE. And I didn't see Clerks until I was in college.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:54 p.m. CST

    It makes sense,

    by OBSD

    from a certain point of view.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:59 p.m. CST

    Also,

    by OBSD

    ROTS sucks balls. It did when I stole it off the internets opening weekend. And it still sucks now.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 6:03 p.m. CST

    Kwisatz

    by StarWarsRedux

    Well, we agree on what's important, then. Granted, if I were able to spare some money, I'd snatch up the ESB book in a heartbeat. But it's a bear market, so I have to prioritize. Just out of curiosity, what does it say about the whole Lucas-Kersh feud that people always talk about?

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 6:10 p.m. CST

    Also, also,

    by OBSD

    Just because YOU weren't influenced by the Clerks Meme (as I shall call it from now on) doesn't mean that you can prove that NOBODY was. Seeing as a meme is essentially an "idea virus", many people who pick up on a meme wouldn't even know they had been influenced by it in the first place.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 6:11 p.m. CST

    Wow

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    This went pear-shaped real quick. <p> Paul, taking on The TB regulars isn't a good idea. </p>

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 6:50 p.m. CST

    make it stop! make it stop!

    by The Amazing G

    YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGH! mentioning the prequels should be BANNED on this site, no good can come of it

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 6:51 p.m. CST

    *bursts out a Wilhelm*

    by The Amazing G

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 8:06 p.m. CST

    Star Wars: The Remake Edition!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    by geodesigns

    If you’re one of the many who 1) made Lucas rich by buying every single media format of Star Wars (laserdisc, Beta, VHS, DVD and Blu Ray), bought the special Editions because Lucas wanted to remake the effects, then why not demand that Lucas hires accomplished screenwriters and directors, get the actors back to either re-act their scenes out again (or motion capture if one day the CG is so real that it is indistinguishable from real) and release a version called Star Wars: The Remake Edition. <br> <br> If you can start and sign a petition for things to be remade, what would you like to have happen? For me, I would like: <br> <br> Episode I: The Clone Mars- forget Phantom Menace lame storyline dragged on as a full length movie. You can summarize that in 5 minutes, tops, either as a flashback, or a prelude. Move right into The Goddamned Clone Wars. If Lucas really wanted the very young Anakin adventures, he could have made them into animated adventures for Cartoon Network, but not a boring feature length movie. <br> <br> NO JAR-JAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!- Y’all want him gone. <br> <br> More Darth Maul: Remake his first appearance, significant battles and demise. Maul was so underused-- he could have come back in Episode III, like in a Lucasfilm art department illustration showed Maul back with mechanical Terminator-like legs, but they even messed that possible reappearance too. We got a coughing, Robotussin - deficient alien robot with a thick accent like General Greivous. <br> <br> Which reminds me- Count Dooku- villain in Episode II- I can just imagine Christopher Lee’s dilemma before accepting the lucrative paycheck: “Why George have to make me a Count? I know why, I know why- because I’m typecast, that’s it-- right? He see Hammer films, he looks at me and says, oh, it’s Count Dracula, so now he wants a Count Jedi. I’ll be damned if I play a Count ever again----- wait, he said he pay me how much for the role?????!!??? Really? Well that’s great, sign me UP! I’ll take the money!!!!!!!! Count Dooku it is!!!! <br> <br> Dooku was a lame villain. Maybe place General Robotussin in Episode II and Maul in Episode III- it is after all, Revenge of the Sith. <br> <br> Script: better dialogue, better film direction for drama scenes. Get Lucas away from the actors so actors can do their job. Hire a director that can brig out the drama that resonates with audiences. <br> <br> I’m sure I can think of a few others but I’m interested to see what the TalkBack crew thinks of a Remake Edition, and what you would like to see with this. He can rebuild it. he has the technology. And it will make him even more rich than before by just listening to the fans, for once.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 8:31 p.m. CST

    Isn't this mentioned in

    by j_ky2002

    "The Secret History of Star Wars?" I deleted it off my 'puter, since it was a 500+ page pdf file, but I'm pretty sure this is talked about in there.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 9 p.m. CST

    If it is mentioned

    by j_ky2002

    in "TSHSW", then AICN just got their "Exclusive" scooped by about 2 and a half years.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 9:50 p.m. CST

    Performingmonkey

    by VoldemortWearsPrada

    One single thing, and I know it's not an original thought - but make Jar-Jar a silent character. Think about it. Jar-Jar was a nice piece of animation - it was the idiotic things that came out of his mouth that made you want to punch him. And think of Threepio - a million times the charisma and character of Jar-Jar, and he just goes beep beep (who else thought the most tragic moment in Phantom Menace was the other R2 unit getting blasted?) Kevin Smith - take note for the next director's cut.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 11:49 p.m. CST

    Geo with you on most of that

    by Miyamoto_Musashi

    1) The Clone Wars should have been stretched over all three films, we really didnt need to see Anakin as a child for a whole movie, we didnt need to see pod racing. <p> What we needed to see was more Clone Wars (and not just in animation) to show how devestating it was, to show the effect it really had on Anakin, and more time on Anakin turning to the dark side becoming closer with Palpatine before his eventual turn to the dark side. More time of early Darth Vader, Order 66 etc. More time on the challenges facing the Jedi to hold the Republic together which eventually saw the rise of the Empire. Then also more time on the beginnings of the rebellion. <p> 2) With you big time on Maul, one of the most underused characters in the Prequels. For all the faults that Phantom had, the fighting scenes with Maul were some of the best in the Star Wars Saga. Maul for me was the guy Anakin should have killed instead of Dooku. Dooku was defintely not needed, with Palpatine we already had a manipulative old Sith. 3) think its a given, there needed to be re writes and proper direction on the dramatic scenes and in particular the interaction between Anakin and Padme. Havent seen a lot of Hayden's work, so not sure he is such a terrible actor, or it was just the script and poor direction, or maybe its both. <p>

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 12:06 a.m. CST

    eat this PT haters, OT lovers

    by GavinVanDraven

    EMPIRE STRIKES BACK has the biggest plothole in the entire saga. yes, your perfect movie has a huge flaw. how long is luke on degobah? how long does it take for the falcon to make it from hoth to bespin? if you said says for both answers, then luke left after an afternoon of training (that he bitched about) and got his ass handed to him, only to return a few months later (ROTJ happens very shortly after after ESB luke tells Lando "i will meet you at the rendezvous point on tatooine", meaning we are going to rescue han right fucking now.) as soon as luke comes back to "keep a promise, to an old friend". ("already know you, that which you need") if your answer was weeks or even months to both questions, then han and leia never changed their clothes once... and most likely thought about eating chewbacca. could they possibly run for months from the empire? no. is there a logical answer here? no there isnt. obviously luke trained for a few months, and han and leia ran away for a few days. they both left hoth at the same damn time, and luke shows up on bespin shortly after they do. your precious OT has a huge flaw.

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 12:07 a.m. CST

    days not says...

    by GavinVanDraven

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 12:08 a.m. CST

    can we get with the times?

    by GavinVanDraven

    and get an edit feature on this site?

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 12:27 a.m. CST

    Revenge of the Sith

    by elvenblade

    Wasn't perfect, but damn it wasn't for lack of trying. It at least redeemed the other two and made a perfect bridge to the EU. I feel sorry for anyone who grudging hates on RotS out of bitterness and anger. Nothing will top the original Star Wars and ESB, but Sith was a damn good love letter to those films. I don't understand why anyone would profit from hating on it. Star Wars as we know it is over - the TV shows are just an extended farewell. Just let the bad taste from Episodes I and II go. They're done. You never have to willingly see anything Star Wars again. I mean, who here actually watched the Clone Wars movie in theaters?

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 12:50 a.m. CST

    GavinVan

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    An edit feature isn't with the times. An edit feature is for fucking pussies. Grow a pair of testicles and live with your typos and your smart ass shit you want to later deny saying.

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 2:38 a.m. CST

    Amen, elvenblade

    by deathbird

    ROTS/ANH/TESB...the real Holy Trilogy.

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 2:50 a.m. CST

    who gives a fuck

    by Lost Jarv

    aside from fanboy nerds that dress up like fucking ewok's "in the bedroom" about the EU? <P>That's actually one of the worst things about ROTS. Why not just bridge to the fucking Christmas special?

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 3:14 a.m. CST

    Paul

    by Lost Jarv

    You lying sack of shit. That is truly, truly fucking despicable. Yiannis is obviously telling the truth, and to belittle his fucking tale with the throwaway "have had several female friends unfortunately go through the same experience" is low, vile, odious, evil, reprehensible, (running out of adjectives) downright CUNTISH behaviour. The chances of you knowing one person unfortunate enough to have gone through an experience as horrific as the one outlined above is fucking tiny, but knowing several? not a hope. You low down dirty arsepickle. You fucking skidmark on the undies of humanity. <p>Unless you make a habit of stalking crisis centres. Which is even worse. <P>Man up and fucking apologise. You monobrowed cromagnon. You cretinous, fossilised lump of a neanderthal with a fuckin simian streak the size of route 66.

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 3:25 a.m. CST

    i dont deny saying anything dick blood

    by GavinVanDraven

    just dont like not being able to fix a typo. i stand by the shit i say

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 3:58 a.m. CST

    I just saw Let the Right One In yesterday :

    by PTSDPete

    I'm tellin' ya, that's a dark horse for Oscar Best Picture right there. It should be. Beyond exceeded expectations. Masterful. Impeccable. Focused. Extremely brilliant. That film and The Dark Knight probably represents this year what both There Will Be Blood and No Country For Old Men were in 2007 - spectacular marksmanship that's brought film back into the level of cinematically classic, into moving that foward . It's also the first one that's made me completely like ' the vampire movie ', cut out from the accumulating dreck that's mangled the genre for years. Especially that gothic Interview With The Vampire / Bram Stoker's Dracula shit. </p> Twilight is just plain fucking inept . </p>

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 4:19 a.m. CST

    Damn

    by PTSDPete

    ' Coz Let The Right One In ' is that fucking great. Man, I like how these filmmakers and such are slowly coming in their senses from self-absorbed pretentious art film mendicancy into taking a stab at the great larger narratives. It's always what I've been wishing in my mind, suffering through these dull, yet otherwise expertly crafted movies . Thinking, ' why won't they do them rock and sock 'em robot things ' ? Now they're finally coming around, and what results. Superhero movies being evolved into a certain level. French people redefining slasher. Now , this. To not say they ought to stick with the ' genre ', perse - an upcoming ' Lars Von Trier ' ' Antichrist ' would be welcome here and there. But it's great thing, that world cinema does not solely depend on Hollywood machinery alone anymore for their fill of classic tropes. They now make that stuff for them and in their OWN way, just like Tartan Asian cinema's been doing; putting THEIR built up level of skill, and approach, and education into such a work. THIS, to me is the level of maturity, shedding the previous post-New Wave ' anti-populist ' snobbery, into finally being assured enough to confront any other types of stories and not be afraid of them. </P> So, where is your zombie flick, Jean Luc Goddard ? I'm waiting . </P>

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 4:25 a.m. CST

    And for the record :

    by PTSDPete

    Revenge of the Sith DOESN'T suck. Some faulty dialogue aside ( where most of the flaws have really come down to ), it's pretty solid, scathing morality tale at it's core where the Emperor finally becomes the total bastard . Brought the Star Wars mythology to a new level. So, no, it doesn't suck. Nope. Never in a million years. Don't think so. No.

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 4:30 a.m. CST

    Oh, and...

    by PTSDPete

    Let The Right One In's got the most awesome movie kill sequence this year ( that I saw ) along with the Joker's pencil trick. So watch it. </p> I really like Let the Right One in.

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 7:13 a.m. CST

    PTSDPete

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    I've seen ROTS four times. <p> The first time was a Russian screener copy a mate found. It was terrible, but I rationalised that I had to see it on a cinema screen. </p> <p> On the cinema screen, it was even worse. Just absolute noise and poor acting. </p> <p> Then me and some mates saw another copy... and it was even worse. </p> <p> Finally, months later, I watched it on DVD to see if I was wrong... and it was even worse. I've never seen a film get worse the more I watch it like ROTS does. </p>

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 8:26 a.m. CST

    Mr. Zeddemore/PTSDPete

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    I'll have to go with Mr. Z. here. I watched it again last week for the third time and it really does get worse. There are some elements to it that I greatly enjoy but overall it's pretty bad and definitely the worst of the six. That having been said. it would be a pretty dull world if we all loved the same things. Enjoy away PTSDPete.

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 9:49 a.m. CST

    And I have to agree with Paul

    by Lost Jarv

    yuk. I feel dirty now.

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 10:08 a.m. CST

    Wow, Star Wars sure is irrelevant

    by I am_NOTREAL

    judging by the hundreds of Talkback posts for this article concerning something that DIDN'T EVEN HAPPEN a decade ago now...once Lucas kicks off, whoever the rights pass to will wait a respectable period and then announce new movies, just watch. Star Wars will never go away.

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 10:14 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    In the spirit of Christmas (or the Saturnalia in my case) I hereby extend my hand in peace. There's too much real world shit to be dealing with to waste time sniping at each other when we should be talking movies. What say you?

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 10:25 a.m. CST

    TPM was only bad because of Ahmed Best's voice-over.

    by ZeroCorpse

    If they had made Jar-Jar with a low, bass-rumble voice speaking an alien language, with subtitles, you'd all of loved him. It was that they let Ahmed Best do that silly cartoony voice for Jar-Jar that made TPM hard to swallow for a lot of fanboys. <p. That said, The Phantom Edit *is* a better cut of the movie, and anybody who hasn't seen it would be smart to give it a shot. It cleans up your memories of the movie and makes it a lot more palatable. <p> I still think Lucas could have told the whole TPM story in about 20 minutes, and then gone on to the rest of the tale of Anakin Skywalker. He lingered too long in the past, and that's why TPM just doesn't seem to "fit" with the rest. <p> Personally, though, I liked AOTC and ROTS. I like The Clone Wars series, too. I'm miffed at AICN for not covering it at all, since it's developing into an excellent serial with some better stories and moments than the entire prequel trilogy. <p> Yes, Ziro was a silly character (actually, the character was fine. It was Lucas' insistence to make him sound like Truman Capote that was sort of stupid). . . But the Clone Wars version of Anakin is a lot better than the one in the prequels, and without Lucas guiding every moment, the series has a chance to be a little more dire, a little more interesting, and a lot better scripted in terms of dialogue than the prequels. <p> Even the recent Jar-Jar/Padme/C-3PO episode of The Clone Wars was good, but there were some truly stand-out episodes so far, and they've only done half a season! <p> If you're burned out on Star Wars, or just stuck in your past and can't move away from the original trilogy, then that's cool. Stop watching Star Wars, because it's apparently not what you thought it was. For those of us who enjoy the whole Adventure Serial idea, and understand that Space Opera is not the same as Science Fiction, Star Wars remains entertaining and fun. I feel sorry for people who expect it to be all badass and grim, or "more serious"... You clearly don't get it, and never did. You need to be watching Battlestar Galactica instead. (Also an awesome series)

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 10:26 a.m. CST

    TPM was only bad... (second take. AICN cut it off!)

    by ZeroCorpse

    If they had made Jar-Jar with a low, bass-rumble voice speaking an alien language, with subtitles, you'd all of loved him. It was that they let Ahmed Best do that silly cartoony voice for Jar-Jar that made TPM hard to swallow for a lot of fanboys. <p> That said, The Phantom Edit *is* a better cut of the movie, and anybody who hasn't seen it would be smart to give it a shot. It cleans up your memories of the movie and makes it a lot more palatable. <p> I still think Lucas could have told the whole TPM story in about 20 minutes, and then gone on to the rest of the tale of Anakin Skywalker. He lingered too long in the past, and that's why TPM just doesn't seem to "fit" with the rest. <p> Personally, though, I liked AOTC and ROTS. I like The Clone Wars series, too. I'm miffed at AICN for not covering it at all, since it's developing into an excellent serial with some better stories and moments than the entire prequel trilogy. <p> Yes, Ziro was a silly character (actually, the character was fine. It was Lucas' insistence to make him sound like Truman Capote that was sort of stupid). . . But the Clone Wars version of Anakin is a lot better than the one in the prequels, and without Lucas guiding every moment, the series has a chance to be a little more dire, a little more interesting, and a lot better scripted in terms of dialogue than the prequels. <p> Even the recent Jar-Jar/Padme/C-3PO episode of The Clone Wars was good, but there were some truly stand-out episodes so far, and they've only done half a season! <p> If you're burned out on Star Wars, or just stuck in your past and can't move away from the original trilogy, then that's cool. Stop watching Star Wars, because it's apparently not what you thought it was. For those of us who enjoy the whole Adventure Serial idea, and understand that Space Opera is not the same as Science Fiction, Star Wars remains entertaining and fun. I feel sorry for people who expect it to be all badass and grim, or "more serious"... You clearly don't get it, and never did. You need to be watching Battlestar Galactica instead. (Also an awesome series)

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 10:32 a.m. CST

    What's shockin is that Tom Stoppard did touch ups on ROTS...

    by Pdorwick

    ...maybe he was drunk.

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 10:33 a.m. CST

    ZeroCorpse

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    Space Opera. That's a term you seldom here these days but your'e absolutely right. I remeber talk to a friend of mine's kid a few years back. He was really into Star Wars and thought that it was the most original creators ever. I then told him about Kimball Kinnison...

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 10:34 a.m. CST

    TPM was only bad...

    by Pdorwick

    ...because of the writing, directing, acting and overall execution.<br><br>...other than that it was excellant!

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 10:34 a.m. CST

    ZeroCorpse

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    Please excuse mi bad speling

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 11:02 a.m. CST

    No, Zerocorpse. Just no

    by Lost Jarv

    TPM is a bad movie full stop. I've used this before but I like it, so I'll use it again- right from the opening, I fucking new that the film would spiral into a pit of suckitude- it was such a load of crap. The lights dim the music starts the scrolling writing starts moving and it's about a fucking tax dispute in the outer rim. Oh. My. God. It was like buying porn and finding some bastard had slipped the Financial times in it. <P>And that's before you get on to Liam Neeson's complete failure to act, Jake Lloyd, Jar Jar, Gungans in general, Horribly edited battle, Portman, Waste of Darth Maul, horrificly boring climax (vote of no confidence? YAWN). <P>TPM is my biggest film disappointment and is likely to remain so for a long time.

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 11:03 a.m. CST

    and spelling is also not my strong suit either

    by Lost Jarv

    clearly

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 11:09 a.m. CST

    "Anyone can hate Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones, but th

    by Royston Lodge

    Hey, AOTC is the one I liked!

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 11:43 a.m. CST

    OH yeah I remember this flick

    by Klytus_I.m_Bored

    was it any good?

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 12:23 p.m. CST

    GEORGE LUCAS's GRAVESTONE WILL READ....

    by JaPra

    You Ruined EVERYTHING!

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 1:10 p.m. CST

    SITH didn't need rescuing

    by darthvedder81

    It's the 2nd best of the saga (after the revelation that was the original). SITH is the only Star Wars movie with any balls and is GL's best directorial effort. Even elitists like AO Scott of the NYTimes agree with me.

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 1:19 p.m. CST

    Kershner

    by darthvedder81

    While I appreciate his contribution to the saga I'll never understand why people act as though Kershner was some directorial genius. Did he actually make anything else before or after ESB that anyone cared about? Other than "Robocop 2" and shitty episode of "Amazing Stories" about an anthropomorphic wig I don't know.

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 2:59 p.m. CST

    TPM

    by TheHumanBeingAndFish

    I liked it. I didn't like Jar Jar all that much either, but on the other hand I haven't met a child below 12 who didn't like him. So at least he worked for that demographic. Loved AotC and RotS, especially the scale of those stories. Question for the Star Wars geeks: how did the Millennium Falcon make it from the Hoth system to the Anoat system to the Bespin system without a functioning hyperdrive?

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 3:18 p.m. CST

    TheHumanBeingAndFish: Here's your answer...

    by Royston Lodge

    The Force.

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 6:57 p.m. CST

    What an entertaining talkback

    by Chuck_Chuckwalla

    I've been reading Lost Jarv's post out loud as Stewie from the Family Guy. It's cracked up everybody here at my office.

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 8:11 p.m. CST

    darthvedder81

    by Paul Bucciarelli

    As far as anyone on this site caring about Kershner's oeuvre, I would say that Eyes of Laura Mars (written by some guy named John Carpenter) and Never Say Never Again were of some interest to this demographic.

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 10:15 p.m. CST

    For me, the worst part of the prequels...

    by Happyfat73

    ... comes during the opening battle of ROTS. The bit where the buzz droids attack Obi Wan's fighter. I felt like taking Obi Wan by his well-coiffed head, shaking him and shouting, "Use the fucking force, you pansy fucking retard!" Of course, he didn't use the force. Maybe his midichlorians were in a funk. I dunno.

  • Dec. 11, 2008, 9:16 a.m. CST

    I love AICN's rewriting of history, so now ROTS is shit too?

    by Razorback

    ROTS was and is one of the best Star Wars movies, period. I would put it right next to, if not behind, Empire.

  • Dec. 11, 2008, 11:44 a.m. CST

    Razorback: There's no rewriting going on, ROTS is pure shit...

    by Pdorwick

    ...it might even be the worst of all the prequels: terrible acting, nonsensical plot, utterly illogical SPFX and horrible, horrible writing and directing.<br><br>No rewriting necessary: ROTS was shit, is shit and will continue to be shit.

  • Dec. 11, 2008, 1:30 p.m. CST

    The whole PT would have played better as a..

    by orcus

    silent movie. Just subtitle everything and have the music going and it would be a vast improvement. The sad thing about the PT is that the ideas behind it were great, but the execution was flawed. Orcus liked the idea or Palpatine creating a crisis only he could solve to achieve power in Ep1. Then creating the separatist threat with dooku and creation the clone army as the miracle saviors to help out the jedi giving them an offer they can't refuse. Whittle down the jedi's numbers through attrition with the separatists and the clones whittling down the separatists. Make the jedi's the fall guys for a political coup and give the clone orders to get rid of the jedi. Friggin brilliant on paper. It would have made a better political drama with the rise and fall of Anakin being the side story instead.