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IF Sigourney & Ridley Made ALIEN 5 (Or Whatever It Would Be Called), Here's What They'd Like To Do...

Merrick here...
For a while now we've been hearing rumors/innuendos about the possible re-teaming of Sigourney Weaver and Ridley Scott for another Ripley/ALIEN adventure. This notion has taken an intriguing turn per an interview with Weaver over at MTV.
Weaver confirmed that she and Scott have discussed re-teaming for a fifth film, [EDIT] “We’d have to go back to the drawing board on [the alien],” she said. “Ridley said that right away when we first talked about [a fifth film].” [EDIT] “What we’re interested in is taking the character of Ripley and seeing what other science fiction story we can tell about someone who has lived several lives.”
...says Weaver in the interview, the entirety of which can be found HERE. All of this is, of course, totally inconclusive...and potentially improbable given how Fox has already managed to fuck up two franchises via the AvP films. Although, I suppose that (at least the ALIEN element of) those films would be considered "prequels" & wouldn't necessarily have to impact an ALIEN film set further forward in the timeline...

Readers Talkback
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  • Dec. 5, 2008, 9:36 p.m. CST

    the alien

    by iwontwin

    first

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 9:37 p.m. CST

    cindy mccain

    by iwontwin

    for the queen...ok elections over, no one cares

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 9:42 p.m. CST

    I would love it

    by Hikaru Ichijo

    Alien is an all time fave, and seeing these two go at it again would be great.

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 9:44 p.m. CST

    So an Alien movie without Aliens then...

    by TylerDurden3395

    Interesting. Maybe Ripley can get a job working Black Friday at the Wal-Mart of the future. "Get away from that LCD TV you bitch!"

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 9:47 p.m. CST

    Summer Glau...

    by cineninja

    ...as the new Ripley...cmon...you can see it....

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 9:48 p.m. CST

    It could be

    by Mockingbuddha

    sort of like The Life Aquatic with Steve Zisou only with Aliens. Cool.

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 9:49 p.m. CST

    Weaver still a milf??

    by Little Beavis

    approaching gilf, actually... thoughts?

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 9:50 p.m. CST

    Meh

    by Charlie_Allnut

    Everything after Aliens blew. They should never have killed off Michael Biehn. At this point I am sick of Ripley (I esp. thought it was stupid how they shoehorned her into the fourth movie) Just find another quality actor to take over and bring back the space marines. Oh and give a quality director creative control instead of micromanaging bad scripts.

  • Focus on the monster. Focus on scaring us or thrilling us, or both. But let Ripley rest in peace.

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 9:56 p.m. CST

    could work.

    by superzero

    I really think this could work on some level. Some of the novels from the late 90's were pretty damn good. I'd like to see Earth a little. Ripley Vs. Alien AND Predator might also be pretty friggin cool.

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 10:05 p.m. CST

    Let it go already and do a new story

    by bullet3

    Charlie_Allnut is right, Ripley' story really ended with Aliens, and has needlessly been drawn out ever since then. Just do a new story set in the universe, preferably with space marines.

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 10:05 p.m. CST

    ALIEN not RIPLEY

    by zom-bot.com

    yeah, i always felt past the second movie, they needed to deal with OTHER people's encounters. otherwise change the fucking name of the franchise to RIPLEY. i was really upset when they killed hicks and newt in pt 3, but was relieved when they seemingly killed her off too. as bad as alien3 is considered, it could have been a fitting end to ripley.

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 10:10 p.m. CST

    do AVP, just do it righ tthis time.....

    by j2talk

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 10:10 p.m. CST

    How about :AVP:Ripley ?

    by j2talk

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 10:11 p.m. CST

    Sluff off Alien3 and Resurrection as dreams ...

    by Undercover Fanboy

    ... and continue on as if Aliens is the only current, canonical storyline. Ripley, Hicks, Newt, and the good android made it back home. Then ... go for a futuristic, post-apocalyptic world where the aliens have reached Earth, set up hives across the globe, and the last remaining humans struggle to survive. Led by bad ass space marines. Wait, shit, that's just Terminator with aliens instead of robots. Fuck. Well ... I'd still pay to see it.

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 10:17 p.m. CST

    Alien 3 is better than Aliens

    by superunknown85

    In my opinion anyway. And they should have made Alien 5 long ago.

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 10:19 p.m. CST

    damn...please do it

    by robamenta

    holy ...i got goosebumps all over just thinking about it

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 10:22 p.m. CST

    what pissed me off

    by robamenta

    was the trailer for alien3...remember how they showed earth? it was like yes the inevitable major final confrontation was going to take place on earth...and thenn...what...its set some where else ...what was that all about?

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 10:22 p.m. CST

    IF .......... AND ONLY IF .........

    by MattHooper

    ... They can work out a story that can exist on its own without the Alien -- and then add the element of the Alien and work from there ... it (might) work. And I stress MIGHT. But I'm willing to support them with positive mojo, in anticipation of a possible wonderama of science fiction thrills as I once experienced on HBO at Midnight in 1980-whatever-it-was. Go for it, guys. Here's to ya ! *Toasts*

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 10:26 p.m. CST

    at this point i will accept cryo dreams....

    by zom-bot.com

    i will even accept a different, or dead, Newt. mike beihn is looking older, weaver only looks slightly older. henriksen is perpetually carved out of wood (has he ever done a lincoln biopic? he fucking should!) <P>but yeah, at this point i would be glad to believe that 3 and 4 were feverish fruedian cryosleep dreams. hicks was awoken early (which would explain his aged look now) but managed to rewire some shit in that escape pod to keep ripley's tube operating long enough to get her alive and back to earth. let's say there was only enough supplies to get one cryo tube all the way there, unopened. i guess he would have to be dead or insane though, as i doubt that capsule had any food- since it was made for cryosleep.- so scratch that, newt's chamber did leak and she died, hicks gave up his share of nutrients and oxygen to get ripley home, and died watching over her. ripley's sleep was longer than has ever been recorded, which plays tricks on the dreaming mind, and all the nutrient IV in the world won't keep someone from aging forever, so she looks a bit older. again, the ship is recovered by a ship or staion orbiting earth, which is now overrun by aliens.<P>okay, i think we solved the problem

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 10:36 p.m. CST

    zom-bot.com:

    by Noocyte

    Nice concept. Only I'd lose the escape pod thing altogether. The <i>Sulako</i> did malf and went off course, but was not scuttled. All three survive an unusually long cryo-sleep (unpredictable and non-linear effects on aging). Ripley unconsciously picks up the peril even in hybernation, and the last two movies are her tortured dream. Upon return to Earth...well, there are just too many possibilities (trouble is, an Earth overrun by aliens would be unlikely to give itself the luxury of retrieving derelicts). Might not suck.

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 10:37 p.m. CST

    Dead. Horse. Beaten.

    by GeorgieBoy

    They should have stopped at ALIENS... Please tell me that Alien 3 and 4 were just bad dreams?

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 10:41 p.m. CST

    The truth about Alien 3

    by MurderMostFowl

    Back in the day when asked if Alien 4 was any good, I would say "It's best feature is that it makes Alien 3 look good". But as much as I hate Alien 4, which sets the new bar for tearing down a franchise, the truth is Alien 3 isn't all that bad. <BR> Alien 3's biggest crime is that it followed Aliens. <BR> It's not a bad story per se, it's just that it wasn't written for Ripley, the character she became in Aliens. <BR> If there were no 2nd film, the 3rd film would have been much more pure in comparison to the first film in that they both are a claustrophobia/chased by the devil/fear movie. Blame James Cameron for bringing us a movie that taught you to care about the characters.<BR> His story has the audience follow Ripley through her attempt to reconcile and face her original ordeal ( which has been likened to surviving rape ) learning to trust and have hope again. In the end we have a strange family of sorts... characters we know and love Hicks, Newt, Bishop, and Ripley. Especially the relationship of Newt and Ripley... Newt learning to trust again, Ripley learning through her and becoming a mother ( become a mother *again* if you ever watched the uncut version ) to her. Her instinct to protect overrides her fear and enables her to fight and win against all odds.<BR> Though it is an action movie, there are deep elements in the story. <BR> And then there's Alien 3... that movie takes those themes and tosses them right out in the first 5 minutes of the film. It was a betrayal of the audience. All that Ripley fought for was for nothing. <BR> The story could and should have still been told. It's a great suspense phsychodrama, but it shouldn't have been Ripley. <BR><BR> ( not to mention the shitty pointless CGI... why do CGI for something you already have proven models for? Especially when it turns out so badly ) <BR>

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 10:43 p.m. CST

    Alien5: I am Alien

    by MisterE

    Ripley should fight the face huggers and chest bursters on their own home world, and realize at the end of the film that she is the alien.

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 10:51 p.m. CST

    "Aliens" is high on my list of faves.

    by kabong

    But more Colonial Marines would be a Starship Troopers kind of thing (also, for me, not a bad idea). <P> Anyway, how about a large colony-ship with about 5000 peace-loving and non-violent victims (You wanna live, then kill)for the alien recovered from a drifting derelict ship. <P> Ripley can be . . . uh, I'll fix that in editing.

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 10:55 p.m. CST

    Alien5: Born in East L. Alien

    by MisterE

    Ripley travels to Amsterdam and is mistaken for Cheech Marin.

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 10:56 p.m. CST

    station orbiting earth

    by zom-bot.com

    well, let's say weyland yutani really dropped the ball and earth got fucked. they already have operations in space and on other planets. they would not allow earth to be nuked and cleansed when they can now consider it their own petri dish to observe and sample from. earth was a terrible loss, but a tragedy we can learn from- they'd likely say. after all, the corporation is basically the government as well, not much anyone can do about it. we finally need to see some evidence that weyland yutani has actually started to use whatever it is they want so bad from alien research in applied sciences. wars are fought among planets, colonies, or even rebellious factions by dropping in xenomorphs to wipe them out, pharmecuticals or medicines derived from xenomorph biology (there were several dark horse series on that)or anything else you want to come up with. the surviving cryo-ship approaches and is brought into the weyland yutani observational station and what they learn blows their mind. the planet is overrun, and continues to spread the alien plague through W/Y's totalitarian escapades. so now, for real, ripley has to find a way to escape her human captors, bring down W/Y and cleanse or destroy the earth (and finally herself) in order to save it

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 10:57 p.m. CST

    They should do it....

    by geodesigns

    Before Ridley or Sigourney get too old. <br><br> Plot- Ripley gets the Marines to go nuke the Alien homeworld once and for all. Just as there are billions of species here on Earth, the Alien homeworld may have billions of nightmarish creatures, some worse than the Alien Queen....

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 11 p.m. CST

    oooooh

    by zom-bot.com

    i would like to see some other creatures on a gigeresque planet that would put the aliens to shame. although i do like the fact that we may never know the real origin or home planet of aliens...that they are truely a man-sized, space-born virus of sorts. or at least relize that whatever they may think is the aliens 'homeworld' ends up being just one of many that the plague has spread to and taken over.

  • Aliens was ace in it's own way though, I'll give it that -- but it was still a departure from the realistic sci-fi universe Scott made. Why keep it within another established universe? The third one was a complete mess (mostly because of producers), and the fourth one was just you know... the fourth movie in a franchise. The operative word here being "franchise". Whenever movies become franchises, you've messed up. So yeah, you can't recreate Alien, and I'm not sure you can even make a good sequel at this point (sequels to begin with was a bad idea, and the AvP-universe was the worst idea ever). If anyone can make an interesting sci-fi movie, it's Scott, though. None of the pew pew BS.

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 11:09 p.m. CST

    geodesigns

    by Staldo

    That sounds like an orgasmic film. They should get Geiger and whoever is left of Stan Winston's proteges on it immediately. A new alien, something that makes even xenomorphs and yautjas shit themselves in horror. If they needed a replacement for Weaver as Ripley, get Helena Bonham Carter. She has that weird "little mouth, big head" thing going on, she can pull off a husky voice, and she has quite a few miles left on her. Plus we know she can pull off the goth look, and Ripley's nails are now permanently black.As far as I'm concerned, Ripley could be like Dr. Who and regenerate into different actors at this point.

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 11:11 p.m. CST

    Alien 4

    by XoanonTORN

    Why all the Alien 4 hate? It wasn't THAT bad...

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 11:13 p.m. CST

    Bring it.

    by veritasses

    A Ridley Alien flick after all these years sounds good to me.

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 11:15 p.m. CST

    I still remember being a young lad in 79

    by conspiracy

    I was 11...and we snuck in to see Alien. That shit was INTENSE for a bunch of 11-13yr old young men...but what really stuck in my little head..was the shots of Sigourney, drenched in sweat, tight, young, wearing all but see through tight cotton undies..and judging my the flat crotch with barely a mound visible.. obviously waxed smooth as glass. Screw the cool Alien..HERE was a Woman! Needless to say I ran home..locked the bathroom door..and jacked loads with that vision in my head. Not sure I want to see a sweaty 60yr old Sigourney though.

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 11:17 p.m. CST

    we need Legend 2 a lot more

    by Prossor

    that fantasy movie is probably the most mindblowing visually stunning fantasy movie ever, along with conan the barbarian (thats right fuck the computer games harry potter/LOTR) physical/optical effects ftw.

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 11:19 p.m. CST

    I ENJOYED AvP:REQUIEM

    by BringingSexyBack

    It was better than I anticipated. Far from perfect, but I liked it more than Alien 3 and 4.

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 11:19 p.m. CST

    my=by

    by conspiracy

    EDIT button Harry...for Obamas sake!...if the US can elect a Black Man President...is it REALLY that difficult to image adding a simple EDIT button?!

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 11:21 p.m. CST

    no, alien 4 wasn't that bad.

    by zom-bot.com

    it had an interesting cast of characters, but did not build them they way, say ALIENS did with theirs in the same amount of time. the scenes of the imprisoned research aliens were refreshingly throwback to the true ALIEN design, and showed xenomorph behaviors we hadn't seen yet. many other nice elements in that movie, but then they had to birth that big pink whiny alien mutt puppy thing and that alone wiped out whatever good the beginning of alien resurrection had offered. i mean, how was an alien queen, capable of giving only one live birth to a large, awkward, fleshy humanoid baby the next level of xenomorph evolution? it was more like ten steps backward. the xenomorph reproduction process had been well explained and streamlined, and alien 4 basically took that and said fuck it.

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 11:22 p.m. CST

    Prossor..Agreed

    by conspiracy

    The visuals in Legend are damned cool...and no fucking CGI either. As for Conan the Barbarian...that movie stands alone..classic...especially the score.

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 11:23 p.m. CST

    Still dont get the hate for Alien 3

    by StrokerX

    saw it when i was a kid....loved the dark dungy prison...bald Ripley....dog aliens....plunging to firey death at the end....I dunno...I liked it. <p> The only cool parts of 4 were the underwater parts and the part when all the aliens rush into the escape ship...well atleast that's all i remember. Oh yeah that hybrid alien was lame.

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 11:26 p.m. CST

    Has anyone ever read Alien: Labyrinth comicbook?

    by StrokerX

    It's a mini series and it's like a sci-fi mystery horror and it's great! This nutty doctor actually lives inside an alien hive for awhile studying them...really cool stuff. <p> They should make that.

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 11:29 p.m. CST

    if fox had been smart...

    by zom-bot.com

    they should have just filmed almost any of the comic series from darkhorse, and made several fine movies...but we know fox is not that smart

  • If Alien 3 was done with a brand new set of characters it would be a pretty solid entry, but shoehorning in and killing everyone from the last movie really makes me hate it. Ripley had gone through a complete character arc and her story was finished, having everyone die renders the last movie pointless. They should have just done it with a brand new set of characters.

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 11:33 p.m. CST

    no Alien 3 or 4!

    by Le Phantom

    What are you talking about? There can be no Alien 5....there is only Alien and Aliens...Alien 3 and 4 do not exist!

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 11:37 p.m. CST

    PITCH BLACK?

    by zom-bot.com

    sometimes i like to pretend that alien 3 and 4 did not exist, and if i squint, i pretend that PITCH BLACK was alien three. new planet, new protagonist. then i pretend that the chronicles of riddick doesn't exist. i guess i admit i liked pitch black. how do you go from whedon-eque lo-tech sci-fi story to overly grand scale fantasy laden necromonger bullshit?

  • Dec. 5, 2008, 11:46 p.m. CST

    Move

    by Cobbio

    The only films in this series I can still watch are "Alien" and "Aliens". I love both those stories a whole freakin' lot.<p> "Alien 3," however, is a hissing misfire that could've been memorable, except that Fincher (or his producers) killed off Hicks and Newt in an epically braindead storytelling decision. I still ask myself: WTF?<p> The fourth film was marginal at best, and the "AVP" films were unwatchable stinking cinematic turds directed by morons. They're seriously two of the WORST films I've ever seen, period.<p> So it would be nice to see Ripley go in a different direction, far away from the now-retardedly unentertaining Xenomorph. Hell, I can come up with five alien species off the top of my head that Ellen could cross paths with. So could most of the people on this site.<p> I agree with Sigourney. Let's move the fuck on.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 12:02 a.m. CST

    Siggy has a severe case of 'Whedonitis'.

    by MaxTheSilent

    In that every time she has a new film to promote she strategically dangles the carrot of new movies in her most beloved franchises in front of the fans. With Whedon it's always new FIREFLY stuff, and with Siggy it's new ALIEN films.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 12:02 a.m. CST

    Bring back Bishop

    by mrfan

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 12:10 a.m. CST

    Jeunet

    by Larry Sellers

    Was as bad of a choice for directing as ANY of Boll's casting. Resurrection isn't horrible. I liked those characters loads more than 99% of the ones in Alien 3--which also wasn't a bad movie. This franchise is just wrought with bad decisions. But at least each movie is stylistically different from the last. P.S. could someone explain to me the implication made to Yutani at the end of AVP2? "This isn't for our world, is it?" Are fans supposed to know what that means because I am clueless. Or will it be explained in AVP 3? It will inevitably take place during a high school prom.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 12:23 a.m. CST

    Step 1: Ignore AVP

    by dragon of sorcerer

    Just forget it happened. Easy.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 12:25 a.m. CST

    Step 2: Ignore the Alien/Ripley DNA stuff

    by dragon of sorcerer

    Except some hints for continuity purposes. Maybe she can get an anti-Alien antidote or something.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 12:25 a.m. CST

    Step 3: Make this movie.

    by dragon of sorcerer

    Everyone wants to see it. Too bad James Cameron probably won't be in there.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 12:29 a.m. CST

    robamenta

    by codymr

    I think the ALIEN Quadrilogy (is that even a word?) boxed set had something to say about your question on the ALIEN3 commentary track: <P> The third installment of ALIEN was so stop and go that there was at one point a script where the xenomorphs made it to earth... I vaguely remember William Gibson was attached. A teaser was produced and released with Point Break, but then Fincher came on the project and everything changed. Someone correct me if I have some of the order or facts mixed up. Anyway, I remember as a kid not really caring a hell of a lot for PB, but all I talked about with my buddies was the ALIEN teaser for about a year. <P> BTW: Can someone explain to me how ALIEN4 went so wrong? Jeunet does Delicatessen & City of Lost Children... so you'd think that he'd be perfect for an ALIEN film - but that albino hybrid alien was AWFUL. Although, A4 gave me a knew appreciation for A3!?

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 12:35 a.m. CST

    Getting Ridley Scott to come back is a good start.

    by otm shank

    But I think the best promotion for a new Alien film would be for Tom Rothman, Paul W.S. Anderson, and the Strauss brothers to travel a world tour when the movie is released. That way when they get to your local movie house, you can throw shit at them and tell them how much they suck before you go into the theater. How cathartic would that be?

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 12:40 a.m. CST

    Forget Ridley

    by Geekgasm

    They should get JJ Abrams and Orci & What's-His-Name to do a bold re-imagining that's not a reboot, but is, and is a prequel, but isn't, and mostly just sucks.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 12:48 a.m. CST

    And Sigourney needs to move on.

    by otm shank

    They give her way to much say on how these movies are made. If I recall she's the one who wanted Hicks and Newt to be dead in the third one. And she also did not want to do a "guns in space" retread of the second movie. Which deprived us of any kick ass space marines in future Alien sequels.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 1:08 a.m. CST

    alien 3 and 4 were a dream

    by GavinVanDraven

    ive been saying this since 1994... well about alien 3 at least. then resurrection came out and i was pissed that they didnt use my dream sequence idea. no.. its just another movie about clones. fuck clones. so then i was saying it in 1997.. 11 years later, still saying it. alien 5 should be a direct sequel to aliens... and it starts with ripley waking up from a cryosleep coma with bishop hicks and newt right there with her. maybe some of the people in 3 and 4 can have cameos as the rescue crew that comes to save them... explaining the people who were in her nightmares... and yes, go to the alien homeworld and wipe them out

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 1:15 a.m. CST

    Freakin Cameron fanboys, they're not going to ignore 3 and 4

    by superunknown85

    Alien 3 brought horror and drama back to the series, things which were lacking in Aliens. It also brought back Giger's original design. Aliens turned the series into an action parody.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 1:16 a.m. CST

    Alien 3

    by Sgt.Steiner

    The problem with the whole "Alien 3 was a betrayal because they killed Hicks and Newt" line of thinking, is that suggests the desire to see a bleak, science fiction, saddled with a singularly dull nuclear family. "Alien 3" is cannon. It's how many years later? Deal.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 1:27 a.m. CST

    I have no problem with a bleak futuristic story

    by bullet3

    But killing them all off serves no freaking purpose and it does render the previous struggles pointless, which pisses me off. Don't get me wrong, I don't want any more adventures with Newt and Ripley, I'm just saying that her particular story ends perfectly with Aliens (which isn't exactly a happy feel-good movie by the way). They should have started over with some completly other storyline with new characters. FYI: I believe I recall Cameron talking about one of the initial ideas for Aliens being that Ripley's escape pod crashes back on the planet, but he thought this was extremley tacky and came up with a totally different and exciting story. He was right, and the writers of Alien 3 were wrong.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 1:43 a.m. CST

    Scratch that bad idea. Here's to Ridley doing a new scifi.

    by Se7en

    Sigourney has that movie with some Cameron dude next year. We need to see Ridley Scott doing a new sci-fi. THAT would be FANTASTIC.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 1:49 a.m. CST

    hey merrick,

    by Commander Rah

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 1:51 a.m. CST

    William Gibson's Alien 3

    by jbs0209

    Back in, mmm, 1992 I remember getting a hold of William Gibson's script for Alien 3.<p> It was back when Weaver wasn't going to do Alien 3. It had her dieing in deep-sleep, and the rest of the Aliens survivors fighting off Russians and Aliens.<p> IIRC, and it has been a long time, it had US & Russian scientists experimenting on the Aliens (in parallel stories) and everything going to Hell. Eventually, the Russian spaceship nukes the Russian site and then heads over to the US site to save our heroes and nuke that site too.<p> Truly one of the better ideas for the movie.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 1:53 a.m. CST

    hey merrick,

    by Commander Rah

    That is just hilarious that you actually care about film to film continuity and you even go so far as to include the avp 'movies' which were even more appalingly unimaginative than alien res (the only total abortion of the 4). Who the hell even acknowledges alien 3 as canon even kind of? OK, we'll kill off hicks and newt!!! I wouldn't touch that movie again with a grinch pole!

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 2:32 a.m. CST

    Alien 3

    by kwisatzhaderach

    is a beautiful piece of work, albeit compromised. Hicks and Newt's stories had been told, where else to go with the characters that wouldn't be a lame retread of Aliens? Fincher made a brave creative decision.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 2:47 a.m. CST

    Dont let them get to earth!!!

    by Wheel99

    Oh wait. The've been here two times already thanks to the shitty AVP franchise. Nevermind.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 3:02 a.m. CST

    I say go for it...

    by The Amazing G

    if Scott returned that would be cool and there's just so many great ideas for future stories (some of the ones posted here have me drooling)

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 3:13 a.m. CST

    Do an alternate reality

    by Chuck_Chuckwalla

    There's a big trend in fiction these days of alternate takes on history. I can't see why they couldn't do this with films. Make it take place years after Aliens (Aliens 3 and 4 would never have happened). It's SF, man they do it all the time.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 3:15 a.m. CST

    ALIEN³ is flawed...

    by caruso_stalker217

    ...but it's still my favorite of the series. <p>And blow it out your asses, you people who are still whining about Newt and Hicks getting killed off. It's been sixteen years for Christ's sake. Grow a pair.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 3:31 a.m. CST

    AVP dodm

    by MattmanReturns

    Alien and Predator franchises were fucked long before AvP. Alien 3 was awful and Resurrection was an abomination. Predator II, while not as huge a fuckup, wasn't very good. As far as I'm concerned, the Alien saga ends when Ripley, Hicks, and Newt go to sleep in their cryotubes. They live happily ever after. Cameron ended the Alien and Terminator franchises right where they needed to be ended, without needing to milk it.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 3:31 a.m. CST

    That was supposed to read: AVP didn't ruin these franchises

    by MattmanReturns

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 3:42 a.m. CST

    I also thought Alien 3 had more balls

    by David Cloverfield

    than the rest of the series. It showed a truly bleak and hopeless universe, where the protagonists are not immune to death. There is no magic protection shield around newt and hicks just because they were important to the last movie. In Alien 3 Ripley wakes up in hell. Literally - he's friends are dead, she can barely stand from his injuries and medication (her eye always bloody, her head bald etc.) and yet she goes on she takes care of shit, never gives up. In the end, she gives her life, the only thing she can do. Nobody survives (who does, the Company will vaporize.) but they still win, destroying the last Aliens. The most awesome sentence in the film "You've always been part of my life. I can't remember anything else." is all meta, since we've been watching Ripley for a while now, but don't know anything about her, other than she wakes up, and is surrounded by xenomorphs a lot of times. There are things to like about alien 3.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 3:44 a.m. CST

    WE WANT COLONIAL MARINES KILLING ALIENS

    by Pixelsmack

    It doesn't take rocket science Hollywood. People got in a sexy twist over the Colonial Marines throwing down with Aliens. Not Weaver in a tank top. How the studios have managed to fuck this is up for so long is beyond me. It's easy pop-corn 101. A bunch of filthy mouthed bad asses with future boom sticks taking on hordes of freaky slimy scary monsters. DONE.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 3:53 a.m. CST

    I don't get the hate for A3 and AR

    by TheHumanBeingAndFish

    I really liked A3, I thought it was a good story, well-directed, and I thought Dr. Clemens was one of the most interesting characters in the Alien universe. The first hour or so of AR is quite engaging and clever, although I do admit to disliking the human/alien hydrid thingy. Aliens, IMO, is good but overrated; its "themes" are trite and shallow, and its dialogue is cringe-inducing. Good action though.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 3:58 a.m. CST

    DAVID GILER Ruined the franchise

    by alucardvsdracula

    This moron is mainly responsible on all the poor executive decisions made on the alien franchise. 1. He fucked up Vincent Ward's Alien 3 2. He killed the idea of Hicks becoming a kick ass movie hero beyond Aliens. 3. He allowed Paul Anderson's shitty fingers to get hold of both Aliens and Predator franchises. The man is a total prick and an enemy of the creative process.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 3:59 a.m. CST

    WE'VE ALREADY SEEN COLONIAL MARINES KILLING ALIENS

    by David Cloverfield

    just sayin'. The good thing about the series, is the different direction with every episode.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 4 a.m. CST

    I loved Alien 3 too.... I don't understand the hate

    by Ray Gamma

    It was a beautifully shot film with some of the most thoroughly-realised design work in any science fiction film ever made.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 4:02 a.m. CST

    You are absolutley right MurderMostFowl

    by Huelya

    That's exactly how I felt about Alien 3 years ago. I was really mad at them for killing newt and Hicks. I took me years to appriciate Alien 3 for the movie it is. But I still can't watch Alien 4. It's been 10 (?) years since I've seen it and I still hate it.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 4:06 a.m. CST

    The next film needs Michelle Rodriguez

    by BigGuy219

    MRod is the greatest female action star of them all. Her vs. the alien would be epic.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 4:06 a.m. CST

    If I'm honest, I sort of like the directors cut of Alien 3

    by alucardvsdracula

    But still, if only Vincent Wards version could have been brought to the screen it would have been amazing. Although I did feel that some elements of Dark City 'borrowed' from that conecept of a floating and isolated world in deep space. And yes I TOO AM STILL HAUNTED BY HICKS AND NEWT BEING KILLED OFF, EVEN IF IT WAS SIXTEEN ODD YEARS AGO. That said IF Wards version of A3 had been made their deaths wouldn't have been in vain.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 4:08 a.m. CST

    Zerocorspe's head is gonna 'splode

    by buffywrestling

    Seriously, what with the Speed, Dollhouse and now Alien? He's gonna hafta continue his calculations for his "Whedonite Manifesto" on a whole other wall...

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 4:09 a.m. CST

    As for Colonial Marines... don't worry...

    by alucardvsdracula

    The game looks kick ass and is comming out next year on PS3 and 360 etc. Stay Frosty.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 4:11 a.m. CST

    Ray Gamma

    by alucardvsdracula

    Please check out the documentary on Alien 3 on the DVD box set, if you haven't already.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 4:11 a.m. CST

    Caruso...

    by MattmanReturns

    We also whine about Ripley (you know... the main character) getting killed off in your favorite Alien movie. And then she came back as a half human, half alien clone that had gold fingernails, made creepy faces at the camera, and played a mean game of basketball. Brilliant!

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 4:21 a.m. CST

    In my oppinion Alien 3 is as good as the first two

    by theyreflockingthisway

    I thought it was a great end to the series. I was a bit sad they killed off Newt and Hicks but think about it, Newt's actress would have been like sixteen when they started filming Alien 3 so she'd be much too old to reprise that role. <br><br> Also each Alien sequel continues directly from the last film in Ripley's point of view (yes I know Aliens is 57 years later but she's in stasis so to her the last film just happened). That means you it'll also not work to set it five years later, travel back to LV436 with Ripley, Newt and Hicks and say "here we go again!". <br><br> Alien 3 is a brilliant addition to the series with it's amazing sets and design, fantastic music and a great story that really rounds up the series with a good end. <br><br> As for Alien Resurrection - it's the film I dislike the most in the series. To me there's not much point to it other than clone Ripley tries to escape Alien infested ship. Saying that, though, it's an absolute master piece compared to Alien Vs Predator 1 and 2. I think all Alien films should be classed as "canon" and the only ones we should disregard are the AvP movies - which truely are terrible!

  • let's get something straight. <p> Alien 4 was SIGOURNEY-POWERED and if she makes a fifth you can bet your ass they will DEFINITELY NOT be ignoring the previous instalment. Check the credits. Understand who paid for that movie. <p> I just want to know one thing - will there be PREDATORS in this movie - since, apparently, THEY are the ones responsible for engineering these superweapons? <p> That's all I need to know.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 4:26 a.m. CST

    Mattman

    by caruso_stalker217

    I don't mind Ripley being killed off. And I think RESURRECTION actually had some potential. The idea that this clone is human and alien and how she is sort of torn between the two could have been an interesting idea. But they gave it to Joss Whedon and I guess he just wanted to write a movie about sassy space pirates. <p>And her fingernails were black, man, not gold. Jeez.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 4:33 a.m. CST

    William Gibson's Alien 3

    by Wyrdy the Gerbil

    i still have the Revised first draft screenplay ...great stuff

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 4:34 a.m. CST

    I didn't care for Gibson's screenplay

    by caruso_stalker217

    Actually... which one was that again? There's like a million of the fucking things. I get confused.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 5:01 a.m. CST

    Weaver's an egomaniac.

    by DocPazuzu

    Seriously, watch the Quadrilogy extras with all the interviews and behind-the-scenes stuff. She has absolutely no interest in serving the Alien series in any way. She's only interested in one thing: creating an acting showcase for Sigourney Weaver. <p> Sure, Ripley was a compelling character, but she actually thinks fans wouldn't want to see an Alien film without her. That's how conceited she is. <p> Her snooty poo-pooing of script ideas tend to vanish once enough cash and creative control is tossed her way. She will then commit to any piece of shit script as long as she gets to turn the film into a vessel in which she can "hone her craft". <p> Chronicles of Ripley? <p> Fuck that shit, and fuck Sigourney Weaver. <p> Bring on a Chris Cunningham Alien 5 -- WITHOUT RIPLEY.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 5:25 a.m. CST

    Who cares when AVATAR fucks our eyeballs in 2009?

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    nobody

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 5:25 a.m. CST

    Aliens 5: Return of hitler and the 3 stoogies

    by kingoflight

    You heard it here first.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 5:25 a.m. CST

    What?

    by Droid

    “What we’re interested in is taking the character of Ripley and seeing what other science fiction story we can tell about someone who has lived several lives.”<p>So it wouldn't have the aliens in it?<p>So it would be called RIPLEY?

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 5:37 a.m. CST

    Leave it alone - Fox will find a way to stuff it up

    by hallmitchell

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 5:40 a.m. CST

    forever war

    by swanstep

    Didn't Scott get the rights to make a movie of Joe Haldeman's novel? Surely that's a better use of Ridley S.'s immersive world-conjuring/production designer powers than trying to bring a brain-dead franchise back to life? Plenty of roles in that for Sigourney W. (returns after time-dilated tours of duty etc.).

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 6 a.m. CST

    the alien franchise is str8 2 dvd from here.

    by dr.bulber

    weve seen em. we know what they do. we know how to kill em. we turned them into bugs. no more chills. the whole marines vs aliens thing has been done to death ffs. theres a gazillion movies now that rip that off. scott has better things to do- like the monopoly movie.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 6:03 a.m. CST

    DO IT NOW ! DO IT WELL ! JUST DO IT !

    by Keith Maniac

    The possibility of Weaver and Scott returning for a 5th Alien is as appealing as the notion of Shane Black revisiting lethal Weapon. Both franchises are neck and neck in the first two classics/last two abortions stakes (although the extended Alien 3 on dvd has raised my opinion on that one a little). Think about the people watching classics like Alien and Aliens 20 years from now and then coming to the bitter pill of Alien 4 or worse the rancid, fetid afterbirth of AVP. Its not right and the Alien film series deserves better, Alien and Aliens make todays output look like old people eating soup, one last "good" Alien movie would re-address the ratio to 3 good , 2 shite and finish the series on a high note. Rather than poorer and poorer sequels shitting all over the originals. But i'm sure FOX will violate or taste and intelligence with AVP 3, dragging a unique and (at one time) classic franchise through a pile of broken glass, used needles and horse shite

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 6:30 a.m. CST

    Ma & Pa Ripley vs Alien

    by palewook

    Opens with GrandMa Ripley sitting on front porch of an old shack in the words with a shotgun and a rocking chair. Aliens run out of the woods, get she gives the alien both barrels. <p> repeat for 75-85 minutes. <p> meh sounds a little too much like AvP III.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 6:36 a.m. CST

    IF They Did It...

    by Margot Tenenbaum

    ...could they fire those two incredibly self-impressed special effects guys who have made a career of de-Gigerifying the Alien itself?

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 6:43 a.m. CST

    AvP all of them are crap

    by DIBARAHMAN

    I hope ridley does make another Alien film. I still can't understand, how all the AvP films are completely shit though.Its still mystifies me.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 6:49 a.m. CST

    Aliens 3 & comic stuff

    by Rei-Ginsei

    I remember seeing a flow chart in an old sci-fi magazine that chronicled the problems that Aliens 3 had. They went through something like 3 directors and 5 different scripts - at one point I think it was set on a forest world where a bunch of monks lived.<p> Dark Horse Comics did a run called "Aliens: Earth War" that featured Ripley, an adult Newt and Hicks (with a nasty facial scar from the acid). It was a continuation of the 2nd movie and (in my opinion) vastly superior to what came later on film. Try to find an original copy, because I think in reprints they renamed Hicks and Newt to avoid continuation problems with Aliens 3...<p> If they wanted to do a non-Ripley movie, they should base it on the comic Aliens: Genocide. Some pharmaceutical guys get some government funding, grab some marines and head to the aliens home planet to get some royal jelly. When they get there, they find two competing hives fighting an all out war and try to sneak into one while they're busy. Who doesn't want to see a little alien-on-alien action?

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 6:51 a.m. CST

    KEEP ACTORS OUT OF THE WRITING!!!

    by Nosferatu Jones

    Once actors start to stick their noses into the storytelling, you're almost guaranteed a disaster. SUPERMAN IV and/or STAR TREK: NEMESIS, anyone?

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 6:54 a.m. CST

    Besides, FOX is simply going to remake ALIEN, anyway...

    by Nosferatu Jones

    Hell, it's 30 years old and there have been numerous sub-standard sequels... must be time for a remake! Where's Brett Ratner and Rose McGowan...?

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 7:12 a.m. CST

    Three words . . .

    by adiehardfanwithalethalweapon

    Predator Versus Ripley! PVR! lol Oh lordy no!

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 7:35 a.m. CST

    Fox own it...

    by Gabba-UK

    and Fox are incapable of organizing a blowjob orgy at a dogging site!!!!!!

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 7:40 a.m. CST

    Ridley Scott is Too Busy W/ Brilliant Monopoly Movie

    by cowboyone

    Is one my all time fave direx turning into a complete sell-out tool? Methinks yes!

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 7:41 a.m. CST

    Alien sequels.

    by JamesT

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 7:42 a.m. CST

    Post Aliens sequels = Highlander sequels

    by JamesT

    Yeah I said it.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 7:43 a.m. CST

    Alien 1 and 2 were great movies, Alien 3 sucked...

    by Leafar the Lost

    ...Alien 4 sucked...the AVP movies sucked...really, what is the point if it is going to be remade anyway? I am looking for originality in Hong Kong movies from now on...

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 7:45 a.m. CST

    Summer Glau, CinemNinja FTW

    by cowboyone

    Maybe they could both be in it? Ripley has to save her daughter who is on a ship orbiting blah, blah, blah. Could work.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 8:02 a.m. CST

    Hhhhuuuuuummm.... Summer Glau....

    by Gabba-UK

    ..... sorry. I was having a moment.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 8:12 a.m. CST

    I don't get it

    by Edward Brock

    It still amazes me that after 20 years people still think that this series is about the aliens. If the series were called like, "Adventures in Space" or some other thing without the creature's name in the title, would you still think the same thing? As much as you want to deny it, the series is about Ellen Ripley and he relationship with the creatures. In fact, if you were paying attention, you'd notice that, as the series progress, she gets closer and closer to them. In the fist one she's escaping them, in the second one she confronts them, in the third one she "gives birth" to one and in the 4th one she becomes part alien. Maybe in the end she just becomes one of them... that's why I also think it'd be a mistake to make an Alien movie without the aliens. BTW, you can't just have a talkback about this without someone telling Rothman to go fuck himself, so I'll just say it. Rothman, go fuck yourself.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 8:20 a.m. CST

    Alien 4 was pretty good, I thought.

    by johnnyangelheart

    Better than most sequels. And I liked the super Ripley with the queen alien genes. Alien 4 had some great scenes in it, like the way it set up the characters, and the big underwater escape scene. OK, the ending blew, but up to there it was pretty good.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 8:25 a.m. CST

    Pick your poison

    by Caerdwyn

    You'll get a thumbs-up from one half of the fan base if you go the "au natural" route and mimic the suspense of Alien, or a thumbs-up from the other half of the fan base if you go blasting things up with Colonial Marines. Personally I'd go with the latter. Returning to the formula of the former, you end up with Alien 3... which I enjoyed, but many, many did not.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 8:25 a.m. CST

    A bold step is called for.

    by fitzcarraldo2

    Just bite the bullet and pretend that everything after Aliens did not happen. It was all a drem, like Bobby in the shower in Dallas. Then we can have an older, wiser Hicks back and a hottie grown-up Newt and ancient Bishop, who are effectively Ripley's family now. And take them to Earth or the Alien homeworld or encounter the original giant beings who built the derelict in the first film.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 8:29 a.m. CST

    AvP

    by CaptEgo

    Let's just acknowledge that any AvP nonense was just the circlish jerking of the rightly dismissible fanboys and move on to people interested in the story that was being told for bad or good. The fact that AvP exists is simply an anomaly in space-time that we can count on someone from the future fixing when they have some spare time to correct idiotic decisions.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 8:30 a.m. CST

    Alien 3 & 4 are canon

    by Eyegore

    Of course those movies are canon, dumbshits. Hicks and Newt died for no reason, yeah, we know. Ripley knows! She reacts strongly to it in the movie. It's part of her history and her motivation to die in a fire. Sometimes you haters are just ridiculous.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 8:40 a.m. CST

    RIPLEY VS LITTLE TIGHT SPACESUIT CLOSET PANTIES!!!!!

    by alice 13

    *sigh* thats what i remember.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 8:46 a.m. CST

    DocPazuzu

    by Edward Brock

    If you get rid of Ripley, you loose the series' emotional anchor and it just becomes another Friday the 13th like series, as the AvP movies have unfortunately proven. That Chris Cunningham part made me wet though. It's a shame that Cronemberg refused to direct the 4th one when those douchebags (guess who) wouldn't give him full creative control. Oh and much as I love Gibson, that script was weak. It's pretty much a Die Hard movie with the Aliens in it and on top of that, he basically turns them into a goddamn virus. Way to stretch it, pal.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 8:46 a.m. CST

    Just combine the two projects...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...Alien VS The Shoe, The Thimble, The Iron, and The Top Hat.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 9:02 a.m. CST

    I remember Scott mentioning

    by misnomer

    that the Alien would be pretty low on the food chain on its homeworld. Thats the route they should go. At least then the fans are kept happy, we get to see the alien and a whole host of new creatures

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 9:03 a.m. CST

    and Alien 3 was better than Aliens

    by misnomer

    Aliens was far too upbeat and cheesy for my liking. Bring back the fucking gore.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 9:04 a.m. CST

    If and when Tom Rothman finally gets fired...

    by godoffireinhell

    ...this may actually get made. But even then I'd say it's unlikely to the extreme. Scott has dozens of projects lined up that will keep him busy until the day he dies and somehow I feel like he'd prefer to spend his time directing MONOPOLY: THE MOVIE than to return to the ALIEN franchise.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 9:08 a.m. CST

    it's too much of a qawinkidink that the Alien

    by DRACULA_WANTS_THE_AMULET

    Keep showing up when Ripley does. how old is Ridely now he was like 40 something when he made Aliens. Dude do you really have it in your heart to spend 2-3 years developing something like this. The series is dead. The first tow wonderful films stand tall and will last the test of time. Move on already Miss Weaver and Mr Ridley. Most of us have...

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 9:11 a.m. CST

    timeline

    by zom-bot.com

    does anyone else realize how far into time they have thrown the alien series? i mean, ALIEN was in the future, ALIENS was a lifetime or so past THAT, alien 3 was a little beynd that, and then alien res was like centuries after THAT...they've gone ridiculously far. i say there are penty of alien stories waiting to be told in between some of them, with different people.<P>and for the record, the underlying 'monster' of the alien series is not the alien, but the evil, cold corporation. if you remember even in ALIEN, 'the company's top proirity was getting ash to return a sample of one, regardless of crew expedability. so let's tell more stories with that in the background.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 9:12 a.m. CST

    AVA

    by BrainFart

    Alien vs ALF

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 9:21 a.m. CST

    misnomer

    by Edward Brock

    Dude, I know what you mean! That "Kill me!" part was hilarious! And when Drake gets his face melted by the acid and when Vasquez and Gorman commit suicide... dude, that's 80's Eddie Murphy material. Pure gold, I tellz ya.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 9:22 a.m. CST

    Oh and fuck the story and characters

    by Edward Brock

    It's all about the gore. Let Troma do it.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 9:22 a.m. CST

    Metaphors

    by DRACULA_WANTS_THE_AMULET

    Ripley gets closer to the aliens. No she does not she kills them again and again in the second one she goes full on death machine on them. Her clone got close to them it wasn't her. She killed herself in 3 to stop them and corperate assholes who wanted to use it. The evil backstabbing corperate thing is true, but honestly who cares the series is dead.. Seriously if I was 70 something years old I wouldn't waste my time with this. I'd try to make the most personal film I could because these things take several years to become something on the screen and wasting that time on a film like this is nuts...

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 9:23 a.m. CST

    In order to do this story they'd

    by kafka07

    basically have to ignore like four movies that have been made. One or two of those films I even kinda like a little (Aliens and Alien3). So I think the whole notion of any more Alien films of any kind is retarded.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 9:25 a.m. CST

    Let some pretentious asshole who

    by DRACULA_WANTS_THE_AMULET

    thinks going to 11 through a reimagined telling of the original is the answer. It's bound to happen eventually.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 9:25 a.m. CST

    Re: Alien 3 is better than Aliens

    by Stalkeye

    What some people will say for attention. SMH

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 9:31 a.m. CST

    Hicks and Newt died to save the studio $40 mil

    by BrandLoyalist

    whereas Ripley died for our sins. Come on, everyone knows the 3rd movie was supposed to be Aliens on Earth. Newt turns out to have an Alien in her after all; Earth doctors are able to extract it without killing her, but Corporation guys secretly take the thing away and nurture it into a new queen; amazingly cool movie ensues. But why shoot that when you can just shave everyone's head, head out to an abandoned steel mill, and reshoot the first movie for a fraction of the cost? Alien 4 was 2/3 pretty cool, in spite of its setup, but the "hybrid"... oh, jeez. PS, safety note: if you ever operate a spacecraft, try to keep the internal air pressure under 10,000 atmospheres.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 9:35 a.m. CST

    Instead of doing another Alien..I suggest Dead Space.

    by Stalkeye

    The game is the very reminicent of Sci Fi movies like Alien,Event Horrizon,Solaris and the Thing.<p>There's no way you can do another Ripley film as Weaver and Fox has dug the franchise in a hole starting with Alien 3. Atleast Rambo survived during the First Blood saga ergo a sequel.I like Sig, but you just don't kill off a prominent chracter/protagonist from a popular franchise the same franchise that boosted her career more than say..Ghostbusters.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 9:36 a.m. CST

    Jonesy the Adventure continues

    by DRACULA_WANTS_THE_AMULET

    It was never about Ripley or the Aliens it was about the Cat. Cameron shafted him in Aliens. He destroyed the lifeline to the real story.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 9:49 a.m. CST

    There's only one way to do this...

    by rev_skarekroe

    ...everyone knows that when you run out of ideas for a franchise, you just do the same film that you did t he first time, you just set it in the big city! See Home Alone 2, Predator 2, Short Circuit 2, Gremlins 2, Poltergeist 3, Friday the 13th VIII, etc. etc.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 9:54 a.m. CST

    DRACULA_WANTS_THE_AMULET

    by Edward Brock

    Why, thank you Capt. Obvious. Of course she would never invite a freakin' Queen for dinner. Why the fuck would any rational human accept having anything in common with those monsters? But as much as she tries to destroy them over and over, the fact is, she gets closer and closer to them after each time. And why couldn't they make it a personal movie? If Scott got his old, Kubrick style, way of filming back, I can't see why that couldn't happen. A slow pace, lots of establishing shots, personal character moments, some actual tension from the creatures and a full orchestral score (no choirs, thank you very much)... Even with all the studio interference, the Alien series has always managed to more or less stay an "auteur" series. And that's one the the reasons why I love it so goddamn much.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 10:04 a.m. CST

    I'd love to see Ridley come back to this franchise

    by rhcp2sweet

    Sure, Ridley is in a bit of a slump right now (except for the Kingdom of Heaven directors cut, which is truly one of his best works) but going back to the series that spawned what could arguably be called his best work could possibly give his career some rejuvenation. But I agree with what many talkbackers have said in that you need to avoid Alien 3 or 4 and pretend they didn't happen.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 10:08 a.m. CST

    let jj abrams have the franchise

    by johnnyangelheart

    and embrace the irrationality.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 10:32 a.m. CST

    Alien 5:I'm in love with an Alien

    by XxSoulFlyxX

    Ripley should have a love interest. Obviously in her backstory she had a daughter. Explore that or something. Maybe she goes back in time. I don't...just make it better than Alien 4 and I mean wayyyy better.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 10:37 a.m. CST

    The difference between Geek and Dork

    by RogueWarrior65

    Geek is creating Aliens from Alien and is therefore cool. Dork is creating a dumbass abomination like AVP and then making a movie out of it. Dork is creating The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lava Girl because your kid liked the idea. To that guy I say "Better spend your time reeducating your kid on the difference between the coolness of Geek and the lameassness of Dork."

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 10:43 a.m. CST

    Re: Henrickson as Lincoln.

    by Rameses

    Lance has actually played Lincoln in some Tv movie I can barely remember.Oddly he didn't use his normal gruff voice {which seems perfect} but came up with a weird sounding accent , that came across as dissapointing.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 10:44 a.m. CST

    Summer Glau rules

    by RogueWarrior65

    Mmm...She's like single-malt whiskey or Domaine Carneros Famous Gate Pinot Noir. And the DP for the TV show really knows how to make her look fabulous. But I'm worried that the show is becoming too cool and thought-provoking. Witness the plot line of the second-to-last episode of Boston Legal. Don't get me wrong, I'm loving the numerous continuously running plot lines but clearly David Kelley got screwed over by marketing flakes who don't want to put thinking-person's content on the tube.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 10:47 a.m. CST

    Like to see Ridley give it a go...

    by Rameses

    Just to find out if he's still *got it*.The guy who made Alien ,Blade Runner , Legend or Even the Duellists , seems long gone.But his recent projects make it very hard to tell if he's still capable of comming up with some of the sick , eccentric and arty stuff displayed in his early movies.I would still like to see him have go at an upmarket AVP.Giving it a bit of the chaos of Black Hawk down

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 11:02 a.m. CST

    Summer Glau could play a young Ripley.

    by Stormwatcher

    But I really want a true sequel to Aliens or at the very least Alien 3. Please no one cares about continuity the way they do for Star Trek or STar Wars. Really, no ONE CARES just give us a freaking good movie for once. Christ I really think of FOX as the Anti Christ. Like they are trying to kill us all or somethign. Frak they really do think were idiots, well I guess the fact that I don't buy or go see any of there movies is my way of telling them to frak off, I am watching Fringe though....

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 11:04 a.m. CST

    CGI in Alien 3...

    by REDD

    There was none. That was puppets and Go-Motion, utilized by Richard Edlund (and originally developed by Phil Tippett for The Empire Strikes Back).

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 11:05 a.m. CST

    How about PREDATOR 3 directed by McTIERNAN again

    by ABking

    Ridely only did one ALIEN film and McTiernan only did one PREDATOR film, so why is it fans love to hype up the retrun of Scott and Weaver to one last ALIEN film but no one really says "hey, how about JOHN McTIERNAN & SCHWARZENEGGER make PREDATOR 3 together to bring back the magic of the first film."??? Anyone?

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 11:08 a.m. CST

    Alien 4, the most misunderstood Alien movie

    by Duck of Death

    You really have to look at that movie with an open mind to appreciate what it has to offer. Each Alien movie has its own particular quality. Alien was a haunted house. Aliens was a sleek, precision-built horror machine. Alien 3 was all about grimy minimalism. And I think what Alien 4 is about is wrongness. Messy, warped, fucked-up-ness. Think about that room full of failed Ripley clones. That's where the horror comes from, but that's also what defines the storytelling. People like clean, well-defined stories. They like to be disturbed, but only within certain limits. Alien 4 went beyond those limits. But if you think about it, if you actually took a movie (or whatever equivalent still exists) from hundreds of years in the future and brought it back to the present, would it resemble any movie we're used to seeing in anything but the most basic way? That's what I liked about Alien 4 -- it was a movie about the far future that actually felt as alien and peculiar as future civilization would probably seem to us in the present.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 11:13 a.m. CST

    Do Giger Planet. Simple as.

    by L. Ron Bumquist

    and ditch Ripley.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 11:19 a.m. CST

    One of the best series of movies ever

    by CharyouTree

    even 3 and 4 are better than most other shite (maybe not the avp,s although 1 is better than Requiem)

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 11:23 a.m. CST

    Alien:Zoo

    by CharyouTree

    Aliens being interbred with other real animals, like Rhinos, Lions, etc on a giant ship with different desert like and jungle sections.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 11:30 a.m. CST

    REDD

    by CharyouTree

    There was quite a bit of cgi for the alien when it was on the roof and another when its eating one of the prisoners both near the end

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 11:32 a.m. CST

    Duck of Death is spot on and..

    by CharyouTree

    ABking, don't Fox want to do exactly that when Arnie finishes office?

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 11:56 a.m. CST

    Anger Surives...

    by Adrian Marcato

    Irritation about Alien3 has been so sustained because so many people were gay for Aliens, even though compared to the original it is a step back. Alien is a great horror film, cold, calculating, and just creeps up on you. It is eternally quotable, and beautiful. Aliens is good, but man, it deflates alot of that tension with wild action film breakthroughs that upon viewing twenty years later seem dated. The film is good, but anyone who would claim it to be the best in the series is an action movie junkie. Opening the scope of the Alien morphology was the best thing about that film. Alien3 is again, like the original, a cold, calculating story filled with dense claustrophobia in a future prison. It is flawed, underwritten, but filled with enough panache that it is fun to watch. Especially considering all the problems leading up to its production, it's amazing that Fincher was able to craft such a good movie. Alien Resurrection...well, getting Jeunet was odd, and he, like Cameron with Michael Biehn brought in two of his go-tos, Dominique Pinon and Ron Perlman, but also brought in Brad Dourif, and all three were both interesting and distracting. It's just that Jeunet's hyper style did not mesh well with the film series, and the story was strange and underwhelming, but I don't find it unbearable. Easily the worst, but has enough Alien imagery to sustain a viewing every now and then. AVP and AVP:R are both bad films, but shouldn't be lumped into the Alien saga since Ripley has no place in them. As stated before by another TBer, Ripley's relationship with the Alien is the key to the whole film. In fact AVP is a fun diversionary flick, not up to the level of the canon films, but compared to Requiem is a fucking masterpiece. Requiem is one of the worst movies of the year, and offers nothing that I, a devoted fan to both Alien and Predator, could even find interesting. Requiem is a film for anyone who has never seen the other films, which was a colossal mistake. If Alien 5 happens, it would be amazing if Ridley Scott could come back, and would even get all the haters to at least check it out. But it won't. Nice tease though, thanks Sigourney!

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 12:04 p.m. CST

    when this one turns out to be

    by j_difool

    a steaming pile of shit, it will finally prove to people that Alien and Blade RUnner were blind luck and Ridley Scott is a commercial hack.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 12:06 p.m. CST

    Ed Brock

    by DocPazuzu

    I disagree. I think that everything interesting that had to be said about Ripley and the Aliens was completed at the end of Aliens. I can stretch it to Alien 3, because I think the film is underrated, but that film also marks the point at which Weaver's clout began turning the saga into a vanity project. <p> I think that a talented screenwriter could create characters within the alien universe which are at least as interesting as Ripley. The question is if they'll do it, since the series has been reduced to lucrative, anemic fan fiction.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 12:27 p.m. CST

    Alien 5 Here is the killer idea--pun intended

    by Ingeld

    A new bio-technology is being employed in space ship construction-modeled on the technology from the crashed ship in the first movie. As such the ship is part living entity. The alien which can evolve invades the ship itself evolves into living alien space ships with original alien creatures as crew. Rampage ensues. (Stupid, I know. That is why something like it will probably get made.)

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 12:31 p.m. CST

    There were no Alien Vs Predator films

    by Jed

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 12:31 p.m. CST

    It would have to be

    by Dazzler69

    The FULL invasion of Earth storyline we were denied. In the future not present denial shit. Hardcore tech stuff big battle stuff no pussying around with denial shit. In other words a movie that would never happen since that would be too cool.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 12:32 p.m. CST

    and

    by Dazzler69

    Ripley is set with her new abilities in her clone form to kick some ass. But she is getting way too old to pull it off now.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 12:33 p.m. CST

    Chris Cunningham directing and Alien movie...

    by ebonic_plague

    ...could be one of the coolest things that could happen in my lifetime. Be still, my beating chest burster!

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 12:58 p.m. CST

    homeworld

    by cyberskunk

    I could live without seeing another chestburster in action. I'd really like to see the civilization of the 'space jockey' though.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 1:17 p.m. CST

    I Blame 20th Century Fox!

    by Mako

    Okay... here it is. The first 2 movies "Alien" and "Aliens" were both masterpieces of Sci-Fi in their own right. I do not blame Fincher for "Alien 3". The movie on it's own is good. But it sucks when looking at it in context of the first two. As someone posted earlier... they took all of the build up and great character things that were built from the get-go and basically gave the middle finger to the audience in the first 5 min of "Alien 3". At that point - 20th Century Fox pissed off a huge group of people. Then came along "Alien: Resurrection". A movie that really didn't feel like it took itself seriously. It didn't feel grounded like the first 3. Nor did it have any characters that we even cared about. Although Whedon had some interesting concepts in his script - the execution of the movie was flat and laughable (in the wrong kind of ways). As for the AvP movies... holy crap! PG-13? WTF? The one good thing I can comment on about AvP is that at least the Aliens (especially The Queen herself) seemed kind of cool and more like they did in Cameron's version. That was pretty much it for me. AvP:R was better with the violence, but at this point - do I even care? The story was bland as were the characters. I don't think you can really bring Ripley back. Sorry Sigourney. 20th Century Fox and you allowed your character to be over-cooked in the wrong kind of way. However... I do think it could be interesting to see Ridley come back and do something that finally takes us to the Alien homeworld. That might be a cool story to see.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 1:20 p.m. CST

    Finally at the very end of this thread

    by Omegaman

    somebody mentions "the space jockey". Thats the unanswered question from the first film: What was that big fossilized alien with the hole in its chest? It was sitting in a big chair in the crashed U shaped spaceship. Its what sent the warning beacon. I cant believe Ridley Scott hasnt thought about doing a sequel about that.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 1:36 p.m. CST

    Don't Group AVP and AVP2 Together...

    by KISSman24

    AVP was an entertaining movie. AVP sucked balls.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 1:42 p.m. CST

    If she comes back thye will probably use time

    by DRACULA_WANTS_THE_AMULET

    travel. Ok Brain Cell racking time!!! She and her ship are found shortly after the end events of part 2, but get this- It's her and Jonesy and the same ship from part 1. <P> How the fuck do they explain this??? She doubled somehow in space, her ship must have encountered something that made her exist twice or something.. You don't explain it, but you say that somehow she broke the fabric of time and she is existing twice one of her is slightly ahead in time to the other one. <P> They find the other ship with her and Newt and Hicks in it they are awoken, obviously something goes wrong near the end of this 5'er and Newt and Hicks are kryostasis killed and bishops memory is tampered with, and they toss in a clone of her that has a recall limit that prevents her/the clone from knowing anything after a certain event. So then the real Ripley was never in 2 it was her futureself in the past and the original her showed up shortly after and then they found her future, futureself and Newt and Hicks and they brought them to earth and shit blows up good and Aliens and Jonesy go full retard on each other- Hiss vs Hiss

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 1:49 p.m. CST

    Well shit, I like the idea

    by Vern

    I guess I'm alone on this but I think Ripley is way more interesting than the aliens. I mean I love those movies, I actually enjoy all 4 of them on some level and the first two are pretty much perfect. Both the alien and the queen are among the all time great movie monsters, maybe even THE all time great movie monsters. But after exploring them four times and then fucking around with them two other times and after a few decades of re-watching the movies and making them into comic strips and action dolls and pajamas and shit they are robbed of their ALIEN-ness. They have no power. Now they're not ALIEN, they're an iconic design that we like. And they're not even very dangerous anymore, we've seen several movies where people plow them down a bunch at a time with no problem.<p> The alien has no power but Ripley still does. I mean which would be more exciting to you, seeing an alien on screen yet again, or seeing Ripley? I go with Ripley.<p> That said, I don't know what the story would be, and I always dug that idea of finding out what the fuck the "space jockey" was. So as long as it was a good compliment to her alien adventures I would go for it.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 1:53 p.m. CST

    it sounds cool, but they still have to do...

    by cifra

    Alien: Invasion. That meaning Aliens are set free on Earth... an apocalypse. THAT would be cool.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 1:55 p.m. CST

    In the meantime

    by cyberskunk

    I will enjoy occasionally looking at the Gigeresque art of the Space Invaders quasi ALIEN-ripoff pinball machine: http://tinyurl.com/5s5jhd

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 2 p.m. CST

    Alien 3 appreciation

    by Ivan_Mtl

    I suppose I will have to be added to the minority of people that actually enjoyed Alien 3. Despite its flaws, I think it is a worthy addition to the Alien film franchise. I agree with a previous poster who said that had Alien 3 followed the first film, it would have been much more well received. It's only real fault was having to follow James Cameron's act (like trying to be the band that followed Queen at Live Aid). I suppose had Ripley, Hicks and Newt arrived safely home on Earth at the beginning of the film, and then have Ripley carted off to prison for having destroyed the Company installation at the end of Aliens would have been an easier (and certainly more popular) solution to the problem the writer(s) may have had with what to do regarding Hicks and especially Newt. A prison setting was a great idea. I loved that you had (basically) "truckers" in the first movie, "marines" in the second and, finally, bad-ass criminals in the third. The Company could have acquired an alien egg and unleashed it on a prison populace to study its potential military application. This could have all taken place during an uprising and so the marines (with Hicks) would have been called in to restore order. The inmates and marines would eventually have to work together when they realize that they have both been setup and deemed expendable (which would explain why Hicks happened to be part of the unit called in). Of course, Ripley, with all of her past experiences fighting the Alien, would assume the leadership role in the uneasy alliance. I think this could have worked well, but I am entirely happy with Alien 3 and I admire director David Fincher for taking risks - unpopular as some of them seem to be.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 2:06 p.m. CST

    One thing you need to credit all four Alien movies for

    by Xiphos_2

    Is that each movie had its own look and tone, even if you didn't like the movie itself.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 2:20 p.m. CST

    Dear Fox

    by leemunday

    Munday here. Here’s my two pence. The best I would hope for is a carefully considered and scripted trilogy remake shot back to back with the same love, care and enthusiasm as the LOTR trilogy but with less reliance on CGI and Orlando Bloom. Alien kicks off with a not-so-derelict spacecraft coming to Earth prologue and an aged Ripley’s (Siggy) straight retelling of the original Alien and Aliens stories in uninterrupted flashback over the first two instalments, starring Summer Glau as the young Ripley. Conclude with the ALIEN III most of us wanted in the first place, ie, on Earth (as promised in the original Alien3 teaser), with the aged Ripley (Siggy from the prologue), Bishop, Hicks, a hot, busty, all growsed up Newt, Colonial marines and Joe Public simultaneously battling the aliens on Earth and the as yet unseen Alien homeworld (not LV426/Acheron. It’s a rock. No indigenous life). Absolutely no Gillis and Woodruff designs. Those fucking hacks have stripped the alien of the truly nightmarish and unworldly quality that made Giger’s (a true artist) original design so bloody terrifying in the first place. There’s nothing scary about dog legs and for the record their flappy mouthed, fat Predators were bloody awful an’ all. Get Giger or at least an artist who can do a respectful imitation of Giger (me) under Scott’s direction and Giger’s approval. Get the biomechanics and some tall, gangly peformers back in the alien suits (the xenomorphs were too small even in Aliens). It was fucking massive in the first one, made you shit your pants with limited exposure and most importantly you actually believed it could take out Yaphet Kotto. And maybe, just maybe, one single blink and you’ll miss it Predator in-joke. That'd do me. Oh and before I go for a piss, Fincher’s directors cut of Alien3 I’m a little softer on but I still would’ve preferred it and Alien Resurrection had never bloody happened. The Newborn was the dumbest screen threat realised in rubber since Louis Jourdan turned into a lizard with an afro at the end of Swamp Thing. Cheers then. Lee Munday x

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 2:31 p.m. CST

    Alien 3 was nowhere near as bad as 4

    by MontyPigeon

    And if they gave Fincher the go ahead to do what he wanted then it would have been a whole lot better.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 2:42 p.m. CST

    As long as there's no basketball scene...

    by Guy_Woodhaus

    I'm in. Actually, I don't really care much about the Alien franchise after the first sequel.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 2:47 p.m. CST

    Alien 5 story

    by Ivan_Mtl

    I think that if the studio execs do choose to green-light an Alien 5, then they should follow the continuity set up in the first 4 films. If I wrote it, I would have a military vessel (not unlike the Sulaco) being hijacked by Ripley, Vriess and Johner. Ripley would also have recruited other individuals to the cause (including inside military help from friends of Hicks and the crew from Aliens). Once the ship is seized, she sets out to destroy the Alien homeworld. It seems the knowledge of the planet's whereabouts was passed on to her genetically through the cloning process in Alien: Resurrection (like a salmon returning to the place it was spawned). Obviously, the military vessel would have planet-smashing nuclear ability which is why they hijack it in the first place. Once Ripley and her crew arrive at the homeworld, they discover that it was nothing more than a setup orchestrated by the Company to acquire aliens for their military application. The military goes down to the planet and begins to load hundreds/thousands of alien eggs. Eventually they discover a new threat (possibly a different breed of aliens like red/black ants, or another different creature that preys on the aliens themselves). When the rest of the crew see what is happening, they turn to Ripley and help overthrow their Comander/General. Ripley gives orders to destroy the planet, etc. The last scene I would like to see in the movie is that of Ripley crashlanding the military spacecraft on another planet. Before dying, she sends out a warning beacon to stay away (much like her Voice-Overs in the first three movies). She effectively becomes a "space-jockey" like we saw the crew of the Nostromo discover in the original film. I think this ending would wrap up the film series by having it come full circle. That's my idea... for what it's worth.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 2:52 p.m. CST

    CharyouTree

    by REDD

    I'm pretty sure the Alien in Alien 3 was realized through puppets and the guys in the suits. Alien 3 was shot in 91-92; this is before Jurrasic Park, yeah, there had been the Water Tentacle in The Abyss and the work in T2, but I don't think there was a CG Alien until Ressurection.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 3:01 p.m. CST

    Ridley: Please close "Alien" chapter first, and THEN move on wit

    by Space Disc Jockey

    Well, I really do think they should just go to the Alien planet and also reveal the Space Jockey species. I mean, if they want Ripley to go a "chronicles" route and tell other stories that don't involve the Alien species, then put to rest the Aliens and their mystery. Tell us their origins and everything and move on. I totally agree now that the Alien creature just isnt scary anymore...too much of it has been overexposed. The mystery of it is gone, reallly. I can understand they want to do something new and different, but I think first...end the "Alien" chapter of Ripley's life for good. Go to the source, end it and go a different direction. Ridley is fucking brilliant, we know that...Im sure that whatever he decides to do, he wont fuck things up (I hope). I would ONLY be happy if they totally close the Alien chapter and THEN tell stories of other adventures, following Ripley. Hopefully, it wont be like what they did to Riddick. I liked Pitch Black, but man did they screw up with "Chronicles of Riddick" = /

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 3:06 p.m. CST

    so I've said it before...

    by yubnubrocks

    But a huge problem is the characters depending too much on the person they cast. Imagine if instead of Indy/Crystal Skull with an old Harrison Ford, they had just continued the Indy movies taking place in the 30s with a new actor? I think it would work. It does with James Bond. Same with Riply. Why does S. Weaver have to play her? Find a new girl, act like Alien 3 never happened and make more movies.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 3:11 p.m. CST

    the space jockey

    by yubnubrocks

    yea, that would be an interesting plot line to follow but sometimes it's more fun to let the mystery be, e.g. The Force, Clone Wars, Matrix...

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 3:24 p.m. CST

    Reboot the AVP franchise.

    by otm shank

    Opening scene: A colonial space marine is sitting on a toilet in the lavatory of his Sulaco style warship. He discovers the tissue roll is empty and the only paper left in the restroom are the scripts for the first two movies. He uses said scripts to wipe his ass, and then blows them out into space. Roll opening credits.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 3:24 p.m. CST

    new show next Fall

    by yubnubrocks

    Rumor has it that since Prison Break is ending, FOX has a new show to take its place: The Ellen Ripley Chronicles. Apparently it takes place after Aliens, doing away with the other movies.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 3:40 p.m. CST

    CharyouTree

    by caruso_stalker217

    REDD is right. It's a rod puppet. Which I thought looked pretty damn good in a few scenes, like after that little fucker gets birthed (I think only in the assembly cut) and it gallops off screeching like a crazy little fucker. That looked pretty good.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 3:49 p.m. CST

    by TheHumanBeingAndFish

    As commented by others, one of the things I like about the "Alien" series is that each movie was directed by a then up-and-coming director who had only done 1 or 2 movies previously, who then went on to other great things (resp. Blade Runner, T2, Seven, Amelie - etc.). IF they'd make a fifth, I'd like them to stick to that idea (I say, get Tarsem!). BTW, Vern is spot on about Ripley. As is Duck of Death about A:R.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 3:58 p.m. CST

    I love Alien like little else on celluloid...

    by I am_NOTREAL

    So I feel compelled to weigh in, even at this late hour, and say this is a shitty idea. Let it die. Alien is a masterpiece, and Aliens is one of the best sequels ever. Let those two stand the test of time and bury the rest. Parts of 3 are fascinating but really all that needed to be said was said in the first two. Resurrection was crap and I could only bear 10 minutes of the first AvP. Graverobbers.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 4:21 p.m. CST

    The standard position

    by bellwether

    Same as everyone I know who actually has an opinion. (1) ALIEN and ALIENS were excellent. (2) ALIEN 3 has its good points, was not a bad film, but as a sequel it was badly misconceived and derailed the series. To enjoy the second one you have to forget 3 exists. (3) In an ideal world any continuation follows ALIENS and ignores later entries. (4) This will never happen. A;though it's less unlikely than it used to be. Superman Returns was described as a loose sequel to Superman 2. The Terminator TV series ignored T3 and followed T2 continuity. Trek and Terminator and getting semi-reboots. Hulk got a semi-sequel. In principle you could reboot the series, but it's been twenty years since ALIENS - you can't make a sequel, you'd have to make a standalone movie that happens to fit into the continuity, otherwise the appeal is pretty limited. It's not impossible, but I really can't see it happening. It's going to remain a sci-fi geek's ultimate wet dream, unfortunately....

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 4:24 p.m. CST

    Ripley WAS more interesting...

    by veebeeyes

    than the Aliens, but she also died in part 3. As far as I'm concerned, what we saw in Alien 4 WASN'T Ripley, it was a completely new character. I don't care about Ripley's CLONE, I care about Ripley.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 4:28 p.m. CST

    3D

    by bellwether

    From cinemablend. When asked about potential sequels that include her Ripley character, Weaver said she didn’t see any new stories to tell, but could imagine herself on the big screen in another way. “It wouldn’t surprise me if they 3D-ed the other Alien movies. Some of those shots in the first and second one would be very powerful. You could find a whole new audience. Actually that's the dream scenario. 3D the first two for cinema re-release, then make a direct 3D sequel that scares the living crap out of the audience. Still won't happen.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 4:28 p.m. CST

    You guys are nuts.

    by DocPazuzu

    Space jockey? Alien homeworld? Really? Talk about demystifying the aliens even more. We don't NEED to know more about the space jockey. All we needed to know about him was that he represents another space faring culture which has encountered the aliens. The fact that he was fossilized makes the scope of the alien spread in the galaxy over time even more dizzying and awe-inspiring. As for the homeworld, why determine once and for all that the aliens are a naturally evolved race instead of a bioengineered menace? Part of what makes/made them so frightening is the ambiguity of their origin. Finding a "homeworld" means there's a root to the threat which can be eradicated. Isn't it more horrifying that there is a parasite out there that may inhabit thousands or millions of worlds? <p> The only way to salvage the pop-cultural dignity of the aliens is to restore the mystique or at least create a NEW mystique to surround them. None of this space jockey alien homeworld horseshit. I thought you all had had enough Lucasian Bobafettism after the prequels? <p> Bring in a new visual talent, like the brilliant and frankly disturbing Chris Cunningham, dump Gillis and Woodruff, and throw a ton of money at someone like Polish surrealist Zdzislaw Beksinski (http://tinyurl.com/5uq8xz) to come up with new freaky designs for the film. <p> This isn't rocket science.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 5:07 p.m. CST

    Wow that was a dramatic u-turn...

    by emeraldboy

    from weaver. While promoting Snowcake whe was adamant that ripley was dead. and her new movie aint setting the world on fire. Girl in the park. Kate bosworth is in it. weaver must be bored. She said that she would never do another alien film.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 5:13 p.m. CST

    The best dreictor alien franchise never had..

    by emeraldboy

    was vincent ward.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 5:14 p.m. CST

    If they really want Ripley to tangle with another E.T. nasty....

    by CloneRangerUK

    ....how about Ripley vs Predator?! Apologies if someone has mentioned this above, but i couldn't be bothered to read the entire thread! I would personally prefer to see Alien 5 with Ripley on the Alien homeworld vs King Alien! Thoughts?

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 5:16 p.m. CST

    cranky middle aged woman vs. aliens

    by AhQ

    I'd pay to see that

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 5:16 p.m. CST

    in the last issue of empire magazine there was

    by emeraldboy

    an indepth piece about alien 3 and what went wrong. Vincent Wards idea is still the best. and his concept designs are all awesome.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 5:17 p.m. CST

    ZB

    by Cobbio

    Damn, DocPaz. Zdzislaw Beksinski's art is frightening and fucking cool. I'd never heard of him before your post but judging from his work on the blog, he'd make my top five to design a new alien or alien world for a film.<p> Whew. Everyone here should peruse that blog. Really good stuff.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 5:18 p.m. CST

    Weaver was asked about alien vs predator

    by emeraldboy

    and sated that she never saw it and didnt want to.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 5:21 p.m. CST

    I think it would be interesting if Ripley had entered the milita

    by rbatty024

    Maybe she can take on the role of Apone. Make it an ensemble cast in the same vein as Aliens. Ripley is one of the main characters, but not the main character. I don't think it's a terrible idea to get rid of the alien. After all, they have pretty much ruined the concept with the AvP series.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 5:27 p.m. CST

    MurderMostFowl and DocPazuzu

    by Continentalop

    You two have written what I consider the two best things regarding this series. <p> Murder, I disagree with you about Alien 3 being good but you are right on about how killing Newt and the others just basically said "fuck the series, we are just going to throw a bone to you fans as if we are pretending there is continuity before going off to do our own thing." <p> And I agree with you Doc about not wanting to see a home world. In fact, I would prefer seeing other worlds that are devastated instead of its home world. One thing I disagree with you though is that while I prefer to keep the creature’s origins ambiguous, I wouldn’t mind finding out if it was bio-engineered or not. I think the biggest mistake that they made was in 3 and 4 they just tried to recreate the basically the same premises and scenarios as the first two movies without realizing what is the genius thing about them. At its core is the fact that the Alien movies are simply one type of horror genre transported into space and with an alien monster inserted. And it is that simplicity that makes them genius, how you are really doing different sub-genres of the horror movie all tied together by this alien. Alien is mad killer and creepy of old house movie with an alien monster in place of a crazed killer and a dark, creepy spaceship in place of a dark, creepy mansion. Aliens are a 50’s style giant insect movie (think Them) with space marines filling in for the U.S. Army. <p> If you are going to do another Alien movie, you have to think of a new place to put the xenomorph that hasn’t been done before, like a disaster movie or Apocalyptic horror movie like Dawn of the Dead or 28 days later (Aliens come to earth or a large inside-out-world and take over), or bringing in another type of creature as the villain (I read an article once that stated that the xenomorph had to be bio-engineered; why not show the fucked up masterminds who created such a weapon). If you just do the same thing that did in Alien and Aliens, which is what they did in 3 and 4, it is going to be very redundant.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 5:38 p.m. CST

    Continentalop

    by DocPazuzu

    I'll try to meet you halfway there: I can accept the bio-engineered angle, but only if we NEVER find out who or what actually made them. The idea of an unknown race, somewhere out there, capable and willing to create such an abomination is almost scarier than the alien itself.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 5:39 p.m. CST

    Cobbio

    by DocPazuzu

    Beksinski's awesome, isn't he? Those pics are a bit low-rez, but a simple search will yield a ton of his stuff online.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 5:44 p.m. CST

    DocPazuzu

    by Continentalop

    I agree with you there. Although I wouldn't mind maybe someone putting up the theory or finding evidence that who ever created such a thing was probably destroyed by them as well. The idea reminds me of the those old 50's movies and comics where humans find alien worlds destroyed by atomic bombs to see what fate could happen to them. A kind of genetic version of the "Atomic Genie." <p>

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 5:45 p.m. CST

    FUCK!!!!!!

    by DocPazuzu

    http://visionaryrevue.com/webtext0/bek.death.html

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 5:47 p.m. CST

    Continentalop

    by DocPazuzu

    True, but it demystifies the alien a bit since it's explained in terms we can understand. I'm partial to its sheer "alienness" and the inscrutability of its origins.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 5:53 p.m. CST

    Aliens vs. Predator vs. Sexy Grandma

    by Flim Springfield

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 5:53 p.m. CST

    Alien 5

    by ThereWolf

    I don't know what to think. I always wanted to know about the "space jockey" species and a possible Alien homeworld but DocPazuzu puts forward a presuasive argument against.<p>I don't think Ripley's story has finished - it just hasn't been written right in the last two. By 'the last two' I don't mean the desultory AvP things.<p>I don't agree this series is about Ripley. I'm there for the Alien and getting it back to the original design. Amen to keeping Gillis & Woodruff right the fuck away, they've done nothing but disrespect Giger's work. The Beksinski link is impressive.<p>I want Ridley Scott to do this. But it's going to take some foxy writing to dance around Alien 3 and Resurrection.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 5:54 p.m. CST

    DocPazuzu

    by Continentalop

    No, I can dig what you are saying. If you are going to explain the origins, it should probably be after a long series of GOOD movies, after all other potential stories are played out. The way this series has been, you'll probably never get there. <p> Personally, I think they come from the planet Yuggoth and serve Shub-Niggaruth.<p> All Hail the Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young! Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 6:03 p.m. CST

    who care...

    by Quintus_Arrius

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 6:04 p.m. CST

    who cares that I miss spelt 'cares'...

    by Quintus_Arrius

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 6:16 p.m. CST

    Oh God. It's like beating a decayed maggot ridden horse.

    by Roketopunch

    Fuck it. Ripley is dead. Leave it alone. They are thinking about another way to bring her back. COME ON! STOP! I'm all for making another film, get somone else to star in it and make it a good script. Terminator doesn't have Arnold in all of them why would you need Weaver. It's just starting to sound retarded to have her in it again.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 6:18 p.m. CST

    Continentalop...

    by Roketopunch

    Are you trying to invocate something. Watch yer tongue.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 6:32 p.m. CST

    No Ripley? No problem! (Not really!)

    by Bramton1

    Let's be honest. This series is about a woman's struggle against the universe's ultimate threat. Her character has worked well because it's been written well and there's been different angles to explore to keep her fresh. Other characters in Alien and Aliens have been well-written and memorable, while characters in Alien3 and Alien Resurrection have not be well-written and are not memorable (although Fortune in Alien3 was done fairly well; not on a Parker, Hudson or Hicks level, but still pretty likeable and memorable). That's what you need in these kinds of movies: at least one main character that stands out as the hero or heroine against the enemy threat, a character that is memorable and able to identify with in someway. AVP tries to establish that character, but it failed badly. AVP2 did not try to establish that one character. That's not those movies' only problem, but I think that one character can hide a lot of a movie's faults. So if you make an Alien 5 without Ripley, you need a new hero or heroine, and if the audience does not connect with that character, the movie will fail. In my opinion, if you can still keep Ripley kinda fresh, then you just need better supporting characters, so why not?<p>As for Alien Resurrection and the newborn, if they had kept Whedon's original idea for it, it would have rocked. Looks just like any other alien, except it's bone-white, has a tube that protrudes from its mouth to suck blood, and you can see the blood it sucks carried throughout its body.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 6:38 p.m. CST

    ebonic_plague

    by L. Ron Bumquist

    I agree that a Chris Cunningham directed alien variation would be pretty much the best thing ever. It's kind of sad that he never capitalised on his talent.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 6:46 p.m. CST

    REDD and caruso_stalker217

    by CharyouTree

    Ill take your words for it, but do you know what part I mean where a prisoner throws his torch at it on the ceiling, it looks like terrible early CGI. Anyone else remember?

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 6:48 p.m. CST

    And the Basketball shot in 4 was real

    by CharyouTree

    to CGI or to not CGI? where is the line?

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 7 p.m. CST

    Alien 3 CGI

    by ThereWolf

    To my knowledge, there were some shots done with rod puppets that didn't work and were replaced with CGI. The 'torch' sequence certainly looks like CGI.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 7:06 p.m. CST

    "Lucasian Bobafettism"

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    The lamest of all possible Bobafettishes.<p>No. Alien. Homeworld.</p>

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 7:27 p.m. CST

    Maybe no Alien Homeworld

    by Continentalop

    But I would have no problem with an alien world over-run with Aliens. Imagine colonist and explorers (including maybe Ripley) land on a world populated by huge, empty cities and impressive ruins. And then night comes, and that is when they mostly come out. <p> Mostly.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 7:37 p.m. CST

    Alien Planet

    by Edward Brock

    Well, last time I posted this link, Mori pretty much wanted to kick my ass, but I'll just take that risk once again. http://alienv.blogspot.com This guy wrote a script a while ago and while the script itself is not available online, I've always been impressed with his ideas, which pretty much go with what I've always wanted for a 5th movie. In it you'll find character descriptions, some designs and a cool animated storyboard for one of the initial scenes. Cool stuff.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 7:50 p.m. CST

    Vern, you're right

    by Teddy Artery

    Ripley is the most interesting thing about Alien. The whole thing falls apart without her interaction with the alien anyway. I'd love to see her set in a different direction with NO alien for once also. Her character is strong enough to carry a film. She is the more intelligent version of Riddick (only in the sense of going in a new direction in a sequel). I'd really like to see her as part of joining an insurrectionist group that fights back against the Weyland-Yutani Corporation... or something. I'm sure they can come up with a few things.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 7:55 p.m. CST

    Follow Sarah Connor Chronicles footsteps

    by bishopfan85

    The Alien (and Predator) franchise have a home as a serial. I think Alien especially could do great things on the small screen with a weekly show that would in large part involve the "Aliens finally invade earth" storyline that's been hinted at for decades. It can pretend that Alien 3 and 4 were cryo chamber nightmares (which they were for some) and pick up right after "Aliens" leaves off with Ripley, Newt and Hicks all surviving the trip home. We see a new team of soldiers assembled, a bigger look at the evil corporation/military and a much larger playing field for the Aliens to hunt.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 7:57 p.m. CST

    Call it... ELLEN RIPLEY a la Rocky Balboa

    by TylerDurden3395

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 8:05 p.m. CST

    Oh yeah and Alien 3 is mostly shit.

    by TylerDurden3395

    It's only after Fincher vindicated himself with the likes of Seven, Fight Club and Zodiac that people say Alien 3 is any good. The only GREAT things about Alien 3 is Charles Dance, Charles Dutton, and Weaver. After Dance dies, so does the movie. A movie filled with irritating, bald-headed Limey fuck heads? No thanks. Oh and the alien looked like utter shit. Don't try to lay that "Oh it looked different because it came out of a dog" crap on me either. Yeah it looked like something that came out of a dog all right... out of a dog's asshole.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 8:30 p.m. CST

    hmmmm

    by slkboxrman

    dont get the "avp ruined 2 franchises" thing ...thought they were perfect prequels to the alien movies....maybe not so much the predator films.....the first one introduced weyland and the 2nd introduced yutani at the end....weyland/yutani was the company that ripley worked for that sent them to the planet in the first movie where they first encountered the alien....it also helps explain how they knew of their existence and why it was such a huge priority for the ship to make the detour..... so the movies make sense to me.....and an alien 5 will obvioulsy be a sequel to resurrection.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 8:45 p.m. CST

    Sigourney Weaver: Franchise Hugger

    by Laserbrain

    Blow her off. She's a parasite on the series. And blow off Ridley Bleedin' Scott while you're at it. Call Cunningham instead.<p> Or maybe bring Fincher back.<p>Oh, fuck it, let's just call the whole thing off.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 8:53 p.m. CST

    No Alien origins

    by jackofhearts29

    btw, Cunningham WOULD be good.... But one area they should stay away from is "origins". I know, there's a certain tribe of geekdom that worships "origin stories," and against them is set the tribe that defends GOOD stories. In the case of Aliens, the best possible backstory is NO backstory. They derive their fear and power from the very fact that we don't know where the f**k they CAME from. This is also why AvP started to kill the franchise - because it turned them into just another "species." They should be kept an unknowable, dark, threatening force that will kick all of our technological and scientific asses... even of the people who want to dissect and observe them. That's a huge theme going through the first 3 movies at least. In other words, leave the Aliens a MYSTERY (to a certain extent).

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 9:01 p.m. CST

    Call the next Predator... PREDATOR 3: THE RETURN OF DUTCH

    by ABking

    Sounds like a real fight, not AVP shit!

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 9:09 p.m. CST

    PLEASE ANSWER THIS

    by Fish Tank

    Sorry to yell guys, but speaking of hybrids - what happened to that movie that (I believe) was gonna star Adrienne Brody? It was basically Species, and involved splitting human genes with animal genes to produce a freaky (kinda sexily kinky hot) girl that wigs out. Concept picks were posted here, but I've seen no follow ups. Anyone? Was it Splice or something like that? Thanks in advance...

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 9:22 p.m. CST

    caruso

    by MattmanReturns

    Nope, her fingernails were gold. Watch it again.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 9:25 p.m. CST

    Gold fingers

    by MattmanReturns

    Here's the proof: http://www.movieweb.com /features/pop.php? p=PHz0pBAA4q1qCB

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 9:34 p.m. CST

    Needs a reboot BAD...

    by BurnHollywood

    "Reboot" isn't strong enough..."Cinematic Enema" is closer to the mark.<p> Do a SUPERMAN and restart things from the end of ALIENS. ALIEN3 and RESURRECTION were hypersleep dreams by Ripley, whose experienced complications and wakes up (coincidentally enough) the same age as Sigourney Weaver now, with Newt and Cpl. Hicks their present age.<p> Oh, and if you fucking 20th Century Fox douchbag suits are listening: IT TAKES PLACE ON A FUTURE EARTH, TAKEN OVER BY FUCKING ALIENS, not some sorry-ass 21st Century hillbilly town. GET IT RIGHT FOR THE FANS, FUCKHEADS.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 9:36 p.m. CST

    The torch scene...

    by REDD

    Not CGI, just a crappy matte shot.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 10:14 p.m. CST

    "BurnHollywood' is right....

    by mediamole

    Everything else is getting a reboot these days - hell, HULK gotta a 'reboot' within a couple of years and no-one lost their rag over the fact that it didn't line up with the previous film. If fox do this for the fans they will likely GET the fans AND as a bonus, they will probably get the younger demograph who lapped up AVP because all a lot of that age group want to see is a monster movie of some description. Sigourney's keen, Michael Biehn doesn't seem too busy these days but Carrie Henn is 32 and apparently has no plans to return to acting. Reading this story today was very interesting as in recent years Sigourney has expressed her hatred of the AVP films and it seemed she was moving further away from the idea of Alien 5 the more she was asked about it, maybe her work on Avatar has helped re-ignite an interest in a 5th film?

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 10:19 p.m. CST

    WILL NEVER FORGIVE KILLING NEWT !!!

    by Bill Clay

    What a fucking kick in the balls it was to see Alien 3 start with Newt and Hicks being dead. Fuck the Alien franchise! It ended at #2 AFAIC.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 10:31 p.m. CST

    hey I got an idea, how about a Alien/Blade Runner crossover?

    by The Amazing G

    the aliens have overrun the blade runner city and Deckard and Ripley team up to kick some ass (let me tell you about my mother BITCH!) and at the end VALIS could everything all better....(I'm only kidding by the way)

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 10:32 p.m. CST

    but one thing's for sure though...

    by The Amazing G

    if another Alien is made it defiantly needs more space panties!

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 10:33 p.m. CST

    VALIS could MAKE everything all better

    by The Amazing G

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 10:33 p.m. CST

    I still want a good AVP

    by Adelai Niska

    My idea: Start a movie on an alien world with Predators making aliens out of all kinds of crazy extraterrestial species. It'd be like the dog alien only it'd be fucking nuts. Then the Predators fight them. After like half an hour (with zero humans, english, or subtitles), the Predators try to escape the planet but there are aliens on their ship. They eventually steer their way into human shipping lanes and dock with a human ship, and fight there. It's be like WALL-E but with xenomorphs instead of a robot.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 10:43 p.m. CST

    fun fact: I first saw Alien when I was like 5

    by The Amazing G

    now granted it was the tv version, but needless to say I found the space panties pretty awesome!

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 11:15 p.m. CST

    It's very simple!

    by zinc_chameleon

    SUMMER GLAU as NEWT! Ripley can be old and ornery, and all will be well. P.S. I just watched the latest SCC and Summer looks amazing in jeans.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 11:29 p.m. CST

    I think they have one more good story

    by deanbarry

    They need to redeem the alien creature from the toilet floater that is the AVP "franchise". If the storey is right, then hell yeah, i'll put me bum in seat.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 11:31 p.m. CST

    Keep Fox away from this!!

    by mrplowking

    I love the first two Alien films more than I love breathing. Everything after those two has been downhill and a complete disappointment. Now here's a crazy thought: let another studio make the film. I beg you 20th Century Fox, sell the film rights to someone else and let them have a stab at a good Alien flick. You obviously have NO IDEA what made "Alien" and "Aliens" the classics that they are. (I'm not an idiot. I know Fox would never relinquish the rights to this cash cow).

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 11:38 p.m. CST

    Why an Aliens reboot is ridiculous

    by Sgt.Steiner

    For one, anyone who has read the William Gibson script with its dated Cold War shenanigans, knows that a Newt, Hicks, Ripley pairing would be boring as hell. Homeworld could be an excellent concept, if there was a balance struck between maintaining the mystery, and blowing our mind with Giger goodness. And the Space Jockeys should not be explained, but perhaps have some sort of cameo. Also, create a new protagonist, who is not dull. Only Ridley Scott can make this happen. Anyone else would lack the vision, and would be just flogging a dead horse. Cough, "Crystal Skull", Cough.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 11:40 p.m. CST

    Hey, Assholes: Weaver is NOT too old.

    by uberman

    She was always more cerebral anyway. Will she do summersaults? No. And neither would her character at her age. But she still could get caught up in some vast space conspiracy involving Aliens. Remember, they never did explain the dead mummified giant 'martians' in the first one. They could go there. Get off the 'shes too old' crap. I know people in their 70's who could hand 90% of you fat, pasty candy asses your head on a platter. Remember, when your over 50, you'll be a overweight, balding, arthritis bent loser parking in the handicapped space at Wal-Mart. That has not been the case for everyone.

  • Dec. 6, 2008, 11:56 p.m. CST

    Alien 3 is for Masochists; Alien 4 for Sadists

    by Wonderthump

    That is all.

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 12:20 a.m. CST

    Alien 5 = KOTCS

    by SomaShine

    Just sayin

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 12:56 a.m. CST

    AVP movies were such a wasted opportunity.

    by otm shank

    What we could of had was some great hardcore space marines on aliens on predator action that would not have intruded on Ripley's story. Instead we got PG-13 present day half-assed crap with these iconic creatures in Antarctica and Big 5 sporting goods. GODDAMMIT!

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 1:21 a.m. CST

    About "demystifying" the Aliens.

    by veebeeyes

    You know, I wouldn't mind seeing the Alien Homeworld or learning that the Aliens were bioengineered. And I would like to see more about the Space Jockeys. I really don't think that knowing any of this would necessarily make the Aliens less scary. Hell, I STILL don't know any definitive answers about these questions, and yet the Aliens have still ceased to be scary. If we find out that the Aliens are natural organisms from some far-off planet, it doesn't diminish the possibility that they are a plague which have infested possibly hundreds of worlds. In the long term, finding the Alien homeworld and destroying it wouldn't necessarily mean **** as far as diminsishing the Aliens as a threat, since there could still be hundreds of worlds overrun with Aliens. To me, the scariest thing about Alien wasn't that we didn't know much about them. Hell, part of the fun about Alien was LEARNING about them. A very large portion of that movie was devoted to learning about the Alien. Albeit, learning through gruesome firsthand accounts rather than simple explanation, but a lot of the cool shit about Alien was how the learning tied together with the mysterious. From the moment that the derelict spacecraft is discovered, we set out on a long string of discoveries. We actually learn a LOT in the first Alien movie. And even though a lot of questions aren't directly answered, the little bit that we DO learn is half of the fun. Moments that foreshadow later scenes of "discovery" end up being cool as hell. A similar thing happened in Aliens, albeit to a lesser extent. We learned more about the Aliens, and that was part of the fun. And the payoff was good, when what we learned ended up with a truly epic one-on-one battle. If anything, I think that one of the problems with later Alien-related material is that we had nothing left to learn. None of the later movies actually REVEALED anything about the Aliens. That is, except for the fact that they take on properties of the hosts that they parasitize. That's pretty much it. And I always thought that was a dumb-as-fuck idea anyway. I was willing to forgive that in Alien 3, because the changes to the Alien were actually pretty mild. The Alien was different, but it was still recognizably an Alien. Sure, it looked a LITTLE bit different, and moved a LITTLE bit differently, but it didn't look like a dog or act like a dog, despite having come from a dog. It din't have a fucking shaggy hairy tail, it still pretty much looked like an Alien, aside from not having those weird little "chimneys" on its back. It was faster, more inclined to run on ceilings and shit, but it was really James Cameron who started that trend. In Aliens, when an upside-down Alien runs into the elevator at lightning speed, I can buy that. Alien 3's Alien was a LOT like an Alien from Cameron's Aliens, with minor changes. What I CANNOT buy into is the notion of a ****ing Predalien. WHY would any Alien get dreadlocks when it parasitizes a Predator? If an Alien parastizes a blonde woman, does the resulting Aliens have blonde hair? If an Alien parasitizes a black dude, does the resulting Alien look extraordinarily black? If an Alien gets its host's DENTAL FEATURES, what the FUCK kind of sense does that make? "Oh, I'm an Alien and I was host to an animal with crab mandibles, so that means that I must have crab mandibles too." Fuck that, that's the dumbest shit I've ever seen. Does anyone have any idea what that implies? Aliens EAT PEOPLE. That's non-negotiable. I can see them being a little bit faster or bigger depending on which host they come from, but they should always be ALIENS. Because if an obligate carnivore changes its freaking DENTAL STRUCTURE depending on what hosts it parasitizes, isn't that ****ed up? If an Alien parasitizes a COW, and it gets a COW mouth, what's it gonna do, eat grass all day long? If an Alien parasitizes some kind of animal WITH NO TEETH OR HANDS, how the fuck is it gonna drag people back to the nest, and how the fuck is it gonna eat the shit out of a dead dude? Anyway, I've digressed. I think that the problem isn't that the Aliens have become too "demystified". I think that one of the biggest problems is that we've no longer really learned anything about them, and the little bit that we did learn about them is fucking stupid as fuck. So that's how you do any future Alien sequel. Don't expalin EVERYTHING about the Aliens, or you don't have anything left to discover in future Alien movies. But each additional Alien movie should reveal SOMETHING new about the Aliens, and something BIG about the Aliens. And not something fucking stupid about the Aliens, because then that'll just be fucking stupid. The first two movies, which are almost unanimously agreed upon as being by far the best Alien movies, were largely processes of discovery. Some of the coolest moments of those films involved learning new things about the Aliens. Once we know about them, I agree that they are no longer scary. But a big part of the fun is LEARNING about them. And with each new discovery, we see something truly horrific. Personally, to me, the scariest thing about Alien wasn't the fact that we didn't know a whole lot about the Alien. The scariest thing to ME was the lack of control. The knowledge that we can go anywhere and everywhere in the cosmos, but that we'rewgonna find some fucked up shit. THAT was the scariest thing to me. The scariest thing to me was that we all like to discover stuff. But that when you venture too far into the unknown, what you find may be the scariest fucking shit you've ever seen. It didn't have anything to do with not knowing about the Alien. Hell, half the horror came from LEARNING about the Alien. So I think that future movies should follow that example. Have us learn stuff about the Alien, and have what we learn be truly terrifying. We could resort to making the enemy a new Alien, but the Alien Homeworld would be a great placve to accomplish that, and "reboot" the Alien series while still maintaining continuity with all of the previously released films. Tie all of the existing films to the Alien homeworld. Go to the Alien Homeworld in order to destroy the Aliens. Go through a process of horrific discovery, in which we discovery that the Aliens are small potatoes compared to what other horrors reside on the Alien homeworld. We then start over with a new species, and can go through the same process of discovery that we encountered in Alien. It's simple. If this series needs a "reboot", tie it in with the previous movie. We get to not have pretend that stuff that happened in the previous movies never happened. We get to see the Alien homeworld. We get to larn more about the aliens and the space Jockeys. And we get to have the focus shifted to a new more horrifying alien so that we can go through the same horrifying discovery that we got in the first movie. Do it. This is one of the rare cases in which it's possible to "reboot" a franchise without having to ignore continuity. If you want to give fresh life to the Batman movie franchise after it became a joke, you have to start all over and pretend that the previous movies never happened. We don't have to do that with Alien. It's still salvageable, it's possible to give the series new life without ignoring the previous movies, so long as they shift the focus to a new Alien or expand the scope of what we can learn about the Alien. And I really do believe that the Alien Homeworld is a good way to accomplish this. It's not like we didn't know anything about the Alien in Alien. We actually learned quite a bit about it. Hell, learning about it was at least half of what was scary.

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 1:21 a.m. CST

    Ugh.

    by Dr. Chim Richalds

    I don't see what the point of more sequels would be. Alien 3 was a bad sequel, in my mind - not so much because of what was done to the other survivors of Aliens, which was annoying, but because it simply was not a scary movie and none of the new characters other than Charles S. Dutton's were remotely memorable. Alien: Resurrection had a ridiculous premise, even for this cinematic universe. And, obviously, the AvP movies are best forgotten completely. I don't see what point there would be in adding to the existing storyline rather than rebooting the entire franchise.

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 1:30 a.m. CST

    Ripley's story was finished...

    by veebeeyes

    In Alien 3. Like the conclusion or not, Alien, Aliens, and Alien 3 show the beginning and end of Ripley's role in the Alien films. That was her character arc, and as far as I'm concerned, it's over. I'd rather see the filmmakers start with fresh new protagonist rather than trying to squueze more mileage out of a dead character. Watching Alien Ressurection was like watching Weekend At Bernie's. For god's sake, she's DEAD! Why won't they just leave her alone? Ripley's clone is NOT Ripley. Ripley is dead, and is never going to come back. Ripley's clone is a completely different person. If you're gonna make an Alien movie with a different protagonist, then go all the way with that and get rid of Sigourney Weaver and Ripley enbtirely. Though, I do sort of like someone's idea of using "Ripley" as a supporting character such as Apone. "Ripley" could "be there", in order to shift the focus to a new protagonist while still maintaining continuity by Ripley having some kind of small role.

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 1:37 a.m. CST

    I liked Alien 3 when it was first released.

    by veebeeyes

    But I was also a child who couldn't tell the difference between my dick and a lump of shit, so take that for what it's worth. I still like Alien 3, but it's hard to tell how much of that is due to nolstagia, and how much of that is due to me REALLY liking Alien 3.

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 2:43 a.m. CST

    Mattman

    by caruso_stalker217

    Looks more brown than gold, but you've got me. Not black. Guess I have to turn in my "ALIEN RESURRECTION FAN CLUB" membership card.

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 2:45 a.m. CST

    As for CGI in ALIEN³...

    by caruso_stalker217

    ...there is one shot in the movie where it is used. The cracks in the alien's head at the end are CGI. Good to know I still have a place in the "ALIEN³ FAN CLUB."

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 2:54 a.m. CST

    And come on, guys

    by caruso_stalker217

    ALIEN³ has some of the best acting out of the series. Weaver, Dance, Dutton, Brian motherfucking Glover. The scene where Ripley wants Dillon to kill her, Andrews chewing out Clemens, the fucking Lance Henriksen puppet. It's all good, you motherfuckers. So there are some gigantic fucking plot holes. So the third act is mostly a bunch of guys running through some tunnels. Spare parts for 25 years. Who CARES it worked or not! You clowns can whine and moan and pretend Ripley went back to Earth with Hicks and Newt and everybody lived happily ever after or they fought more aliens in ALIENS 2 or God knows what you people wanted out of a third film. I'm a man, though, and I'm not gonna lose any fucking sleep over Newt's dead ass. I saw ALIEN³ when I was seven goddamn years old and I didn't shed one tear for the motherfucker. You can keep your colonial marines, though God knows why you'd want to. Even Renny "DEEP BLUE SEA" Harlin knew you couldn't rehash ALIENS, so I don't know why people keep crying about that shit. Even fucking Renny knows, man. Renny "EXORCIST: THE BEGINNING" Harlin.

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 3:23 a.m. CST

    Alien 5: So Very Tired

    by Heckles

    Chalk it up to good ideas that became great but were run into the ground thanks to shitty writing and studio influence... <br><br> The Matrix<br> Star Wars<br> Star Trek<br> ...plenty more, better things to do.

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 5:19 a.m. CST

    The Alien homeworld would only work IF

    by theyreflockingthisway

    it's a dead world - not unlike the bone ship from the first Alien film. An entire Gigeresque planet covered with bizaare looking crap everywhere, strange faces in walls, creepy fossilised humanoids and alien shaped faces everywhere - yet no sign of the aliens themselves or any clue of what this planet was actually like when it was alive. Basically when Ripley sees it, after battling the Aliens four times, she has no idea what she's looking at and finds out she really doesn't understand this creature at all. <br><br> I've seen lots of Giger drawings and they all creep the hell out of me. They need to go back to this weirdness - not explain it, just show it and creep us all out again.

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 6:07 a.m. CST

    Alien 3 deserves credit... and here's why...

    by Droid

    Alien 3 had the balls bring the trilogy to a natural conclusion. As far as Ripley is concerned, she has defeated the species.<p>For them to do this, the best way was to kill off Newt and Hicks immediately. They represented hope and a future, and with them dead, she had nothing left, and her only purpose was to rid the universe of the alien species.<p>Despite it's flaws, and it's well documented production problems (studio interference!) it was a satisfying conclusion.<p>Although it's not in the same league as the originals, it must be said that it didn't try to mimic either Alien or Aliens. It was a different approach to a series that already had two very different films. It very easily could have been been a carbon copy of either preceding film, or try to combine elements of them, like Resurrection did.<p>The biggest problem with the franchise as a whole, is that Fox care only about the almighty dollar and devised a way to bring Ripley back. Originally we could feel satisfied that although Ripley died, she took the aliens with her. When they brought her and the aliens back, through Resurrection and the putrid AvP films, it casted a shadow not only over Alien 3 but the entire series.<p>For me, the series ended with Alien 3.

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 6:43 a.m. CST

    Alien 5 with no alien? So it would be...

    by Droid

    The Chronicles of Ripley<p>My stepmother is a half-human/half-alien clone<p>Ripley Clone 3 and Ripley Clone 7 go to White Castle<p>Ripley Clone 3 and Ripley Clone 7 escape from USM Auriga<p>Stop, or my half-human/half-alien mom will shoot<p>Multiplicity 2: Resurrection<p>Don't tell mom the half-human/half-alien clone is dead<p>The Nutty half-human/half-alien clone 2: The Ripleys<p>OK, I'm over it.

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 7:28 a.m. CST

    let mel gibson direct . . .

    by fireclown

    The movie happens on a future earth taken over by aliens. No human languages used during the film.

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 8:37 a.m. CST

    Geekdom Holds Collective Breath...

    by LaserPants

    Passes out. Wakes up. Realizes it is never going to happen. Moves on.

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 9:02 a.m. CST

    The franchise is dead, I suppose.

    by rbatty024

    But it sure is fun to speculate. I'm not sure I would want Ridley Scott back in the directors chair for another Alien/Ripley film. He hasn't exactly been wowing me recently, and these lame duck directors who return to their old franchises to reclaim a former glory are kind of sad. I mean, does anyone really want Brian DePalma to do an Untouchables prequel? That being said, after AvP it's tough to find a way to make the franchise any worse.

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 10:47 a.m. CST

    Get back to basics...

    by Ivor Heath

    What I love about the first film is how all these disparate elements came together to make it all work so beautifully. It's still my favourite film I think. The Star Wars crossed with 2001 spaceship aesthetic. The decision to bring in a totally left-field, difficult artist like Giger which I think would never even be considered nowadays. The beautiful casting, no stars just wonderful, understated, solid character actors. The almost documentary feel of it at times. Just the detached, unfeeling pov of the whole thing, which at the time was criticised for being too cold but in hindsight seems so perfect. Aliens was pretty much the same story structure but opened up in terms of scale and action, a variation on Scott's initial theme, but still beautifully done, and the Queen at the end was an absolute triumph. Had the studio left Fincher to make the film he wanted to make and actually supported rather than hindered him throughout the process, Alien³ would have been the first two film's equal I'm sure. As it is you see some wonderful flashes of what it could have been, but you can also really tell at times that it was all a bit rushed, a bit ill-conceived, a bit "made by committee". However it is a masterpiece compared to those that came after, and the less said about those the better. I think if they do ever return to it it should be a real back to basics thing. Really cheap, fucked up, documentary-like, grungy, violent, low-tech and frightening. Like a Blair Witch in space only more extreme and out-there. Not sure if Cunningham would be interested any more, but definitely the kind of feeling he brings to his projects. Like you honestly didn't know what the fuck was going to happen next, and would you even be able to handle what you saw if you did. Bring back to it that feeling of true horror, dread and suspense.

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 11:04 a.m. CST

    Fincher

    by ThereWolf

    With Alien 3, he basically made a sequel to Alien and did his damndest to ignore Aliens altogether. Not just removing Newt & Hicks, but by replaying Ripley's "last surviving member of the Nostromo..." shuttle transmission at the end of Alien 3.<p>Maybe Alien 5 can do the same thing and ignore 3 and 4. Nuke the movies from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 12:09 p.m. CST

    Vern, the problem with the the Space Jockey is that...

    by JohnNadaUK

    ...despite how awesome Aliens was to us as kids Cameron totally fucked up that concept. Scott had it so that these monsters were engineered by another alien race, just another weapon. Cameron came along and turned them into dumb animals that were created by a Queen like some insect, no great mystery. I love that movie but I'm very regretful about where it could've gone had Scott stuck with that concept. I mean seriously, where in that original ship do you even think of a Queen? It's alien created eggs with weapons inside. I guess we'll never get to the bottom of it now as that concept has been completely destroyed after three sequels.

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 12:16 p.m. CST

    Alien never said that they were weapons.

    by veebeeyes

    There was nothing in Alien that definitively pointed to them being products of bioengineering, and there was nothing in Aliens that eliminates the possibility of them being products of bioengineering. Whether or not they are artificial weapons or natural organisms, both possibilities are still equally valid and equally compatible with all of the Alien movies.

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 12:17 p.m. CST

    I Grew To Appreciate Aliens 3

    by LaserPants

    I HATED it when it first came out; especially because of how it wiped out Hicks and Newt off camera. After that, it was all down hill. <br><br>With time, however, I grew to like it for what it was -- a kind of sci-fi gothic horror more in line with the first film than the second. That said, its NOWHERE NEAR AS GOOD as ALIENS, which is, hands down, the best of the series, and the best thing James "Underwater Fetish" Cameron has ever done. Don't even mention T2 because it SUCKS and someday, someway, the lot of you will accept this and move on.

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 1:55 p.m. CST

    NEW MONSTER WANTED

    by jah_kingdom

    Right off the bat, there is no Earth left. I dunno, a meteor hit it. Ripley is living in seclusion on a space station. Other worlds are being terra-formed and new even more sinister monsters are having to be dealt with. An escape pod from one of these worlds sends an SOS and Ripley replies. The captain of the escape ship has Ripley's sir name. Curious but with reservations, Ripley helps.

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 2:36 p.m. CST

    caruso_stalker217

    by REDD

    Yep, the cracks in the Aliens head are CG. The shadows cast by the Alien in the hallway shots are CG also (with some rotoscoping). I just watched the visual effects portion of the Alien 3 disc (from the Quadrilogy Set).

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 4:24 p.m. CST

    Re: Robomenta

    by kenmc71

    That was more or less the original idea for Alien 3 (the Aliens taking over Earth). In fact, you can find an earlier script draft online in which the "showdown" is set up with Hicks as the main character(although there was so much behind-the-scenes drama that Alien 3 ended up as the mess as it did). I think that the sequels that we should have seen are only going to be visible in the world of books and comics.

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 4:41 p.m. CST

    ALIEN3's inmate Morse deserves a sequel trilogy.

    by Koborover

    That guy survived ALIEN³ and is responsible for the greatest F-bomb in cinema history (after the alien kills warden Andrews).

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 6:03 p.m. CST

    If only the Alien 3 DVD extended version....

    by CloneRangerUK

    ...was released originally instead of the theatrical cut, I think a lot of people would have appriciatd it a lot more, as it made a lot more sense, for example with the McGann character (golic?)releasing it from the toxic waste chamber etc. I hated it at the time when i won a ticket to a preview press screening, to the point I could'nt bear to pay the ticket money for it theatrically (& I am a hardcore alien/predator fan), but over time I had a masochistic liking for the film on VHS/DVD. Each time I saw it, I think finchers camerstyle & lighting gradually seduced me & it just started to win me over, but I do champion the DVD cut. Is definately better than Ressurection, makes that sort of redundant. The problem with Ressurection is the first half/setup is pretty good, but when the aliens start to break out it all goes to sh*t!

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 6:15 p.m. CST

    Why should Alien3 not be ignored?

    by a rolling stone

    Charles S. Dutton.

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 7:19 p.m. CST

    My GRAND-mother Is An Alien

    by pokadoo

    ...hybrid/clone thingy.

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 7:35 p.m. CST

    Has anyone read the original script for Alien 3?

    by MattmanReturns

    The one that stars Hicks and has Ripley in a coma? That was cool.

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 9:31 p.m. CST

    A:R

    by Staldo

    say what you will about Alien:Resurrection, that scene where she goes into that room with all the malformed Ripley clones really sticks with you. It makes you realize that, at that point in the future, humanity really has come close to losing its soul completely. Maybe it's part of that "memorable scene, bad movie" thing, like the Thunderdome sequence in Mad Max:BTD

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 11:04 p.m. CST

    I AGREE WITH VERN...

    by The Bandit

    that the Ripley is more interesting aspect of the films. I mean in Alien, the creature is the star in a way, it was so fucking bizare and just down right scary and real it was the stuff of nightmares come to life. But its Ripley who provides the framework for the story and is why we care at all, I mean if it wasnt developed as it was it wouldnt have been scary in the least. It wouldve just been something in the vien of your standard gore fest with one contrived set up after another just so we can watch people meet some overly bloodly and over the top death. Over the course of Aliens she really becomes who she is, and the focus is no longer on the creature per se, its more on her. In fact Aliens is where they really started to stop being as scary also, by the end we're seeing hordes of them get blasted left and right and they're no longer unstopable nightmare beings, just bugs. and bugs are there to get squashed. (dont get me wrong folks, I LOVE Aliens more than anything -I'm just saying.) Alien3 gets a bumb rap, its not a bad movie at all, it just seemed almost like a stand alone story, or maybe it shouldve come before Aliens or something. But as somebody put it best, its only major sins were coming after Aliens and using un-needed CGI. The fourth was retarded in every way. As for Alien5 I really think it could be good if done right and focused on the characters and really got in your head. Focus on Ripley, Hicks, Newt,(not sure they should live though, or at least for very long. thats part of Ripleys curse, if she love it it dies.) and Bishop. I also agree that 3 and 4 should be cryosleep nightmares on the longest space travel ever undertaken by our remaining crew -but not to Earth (oh and somebody please tell me why there is such a hard on for some 'show down on earth'?! I mean honestly, even if its some future earth, its earth, its not interesting. I for one dont want to Aliens crawling down main street or through office buildings. Its forced, and kinda cheesy. Its not like Predator, theres no reason for them to be on earth. some of the exoticsm and fear of Alien is the simple fact that they seemingly exist in nothingness and thats where they belong. Not getting people jogging in the park.If they get to earth we know by the end Ripley would win and theres no point. I'd only want to see Aliens on earth if they win, and consume the planet leaving it dead and bare.) they should be going to the Alien homeworld. Either knowingly or unknowingly but thats where the end will come for Ripley, theres no other way it could go down, thats the tragic curse of this character, she can not escape them or forget them and the only thing to do would be to just accept the madness, take the path as far as it will go full circle. It could make for a very disturbing fucked up scifi as we just watch her slowly lose her mind as she travels through space watching everything that is important to her die/get taken from her as she goes to her inevitable death by an evil she never asked for and can not seperate herself from. Theres a lot to work with here really, heres hoping.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 1 a.m. CST

    STFU, LaserPants.

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    You and your constant bitching about T2.<p>Why don't you tell us how much you liked SPEED RACER, you moron?

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 3:01 a.m. CST

    Natural course for Alien 3?

    by spudwas

    Both movies (1 and 2) hinted that the U.S. or Earth government, wanted to capture and bring back the aliens to use for warfare. I thought after watching "Aliens", Wow! what a great concept, can't wait to see that film. Imagine the aliens brought back to Earth and used for some kind of warfare...on Earth or some other planet...then all of a sudden things go terribly wrong..of course. Well now "Stargate Atlantis" sort of took advantage of the story since. Well..too bad 20th century fox.The next film story was dangling in front of your face....and you blew it!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 3:26 a.m. CST

    They'll reboot it. Mark my words.

    by ricarleite

    And it shall have Shia and Will.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 3:27 a.m. CST

    BSB- I may have to hurt you for that

    by Lost Jarv

    AvP:R was a steaming load of shite. <P>Alien 3 is underrated, and the first 2/3 of Alien 4 weren't bad.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 3:36 a.m. CST

    Neil Marshall.

    by Lost Jarv

    The only choice. Search your hearts, you know this to be true.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 3:40 a.m. CST

    Alien 5....

    by ReZourceman

    Alien Harder.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 3:50 a.m. CST

    Why Explaining the Alien is a bad idea

    by Lost Jarv

    for those in the cheap seats, or that are a bit slow: <P>Halloween. <P>Oh, you want me to elaborate? well, look at it like this- you have a freudian nightmare of a killing machine that has popped out of the ether and is slaughtering the characters with no motive. It is impossible to understand and as a result is all the more frighteneing. As soon as you demistify the monster it becomes mundane. When it becomes mundane you have to find the source of fear elsewhere- which in the case of AvP:Rectum was extreme gore. Don't do it. Keep the mystery. <P>I'll end with was Halloween more frightening before you knew about all the sister killing shit? Anyone that thinks Myers was more frightening after 2 needs his head examining. <P>This is also why The Thing prequel is a bad idea.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 3:51 a.m. CST

    first draft of first alien movie=horrible

    by wbrownley

    at least cracked.com thought so, read it and weep: http://tinyurl.com/6hqal5

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 3:53 a.m. CST

    Best Way to do it:

    by Lost Jarv

    Follow straight on from Resurrection- an Egg survived impact, Aliens get free and slaughter people in a cyberpunk environment. Ripley is suffering from accelerated aging due to the Alien DNA scorching her metabolism, and dies early in the film. Call is torn in half early on, and Summer Glau (storming idea) takes over as ALien killer in chief. <P>Neil Marshall directs, I watch many times, world becomes better place.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 4:40 a.m. CST

    Vincent Ward's Alien 3

    by Lost Jarv

    lots of that was horrid- and stop bitching about it, lots of it made it to the screen.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 4:44 a.m. CST

    My Summer Glau idea...

    by cineninja

    ...was to have ripley clone seriously injured and cacoon HERSELF and then when the chrysalis opens a rejeuvenated younger Ripley Clone (Glau) pops out to mop up/kick ass continue the franchise. Hell,m they could make a new TV series about younger Ripley Clone set in the Aliens verse and would give a chance to extrapolate on more aboiut space jockeys, aliens, preds and whatever else on a weekly format.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 4:47 a.m. CST

    Fuck Newt and Hicks

    by Lost Jarv

    killing them off camera was exactly the right thing to do. The only reason Hicks doesn't appear as a corpse in Alien 3 is that Biehn got pissy over them using his image without him being in it.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 4:50 a.m. CST

    "TV series about younger Ripley Clone set in the Aliens verse "

    by Lost Jarv

    No. Horrid idea. <P>That shit never works (SCC, Clone Wars etc)

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:02 a.m. CST

    You're wrong, Jarv

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    At this point, the best route for a new Alien film is clearly a romantic comedy, possibly starring Kate Hudson.<p>In the film, 50 Ways To Love An Alien, Ms Hudson falls for a charming rogue who she discovers, late in the second act, is actually a murderous alien, with a second row of teeth and acid for blood and whatnot.<p>Will they work out their differences? Will love save the day?

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:04 a.m. CST

    Another possibility...

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Alien For Justice, in which Steven Seagal teams up with an Alien (who is also a rapper) to shoot a gang of anonymous Hungarian henchman whose international drug cartel was responsible for the death of Seagal's neice, for some reason.<p>There will also be an ecological message. Something about recycling, maybe.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:07 a.m. CST

    Alien 4 Justice

    by Lost Jarv

    I'd watch that.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:08 a.m. CST

    rom-com Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    I'd only watch that if Hudson got eviscerated. Painfully and for real.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:20 a.m. CST

    Evisceration is a possibliity

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    It would be an unconventional move for romantic comedy - Sandra Bullock, for example, would probably not be onboard for a rom-com where her guts are ripped out at the end - but it would certainly be original.<p>It could be a metaphor, perhaps, for the way we all feel when we discover that the one we love is, in actual fact, a cold, remorseless, blood-thirsty xenomorph.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:23 a.m. CST

    ALIEN!!!

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    This would be a remake, by Michael Bay. There's no story as such - not one that makes sense, anyway - but many, many explosions, plus a shitload of low-angled shots of people getting out of cars.<p>Starring Shia LaBeouf, as Lt. Alan Ripley.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:27 a.m. CST

    Franklin

    by Droid

    It would only be a Bay movie if there is a scene where heavy shit rolls off the back of a truck into oncoming traffic.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:33 a.m. CST

    Alien School Musical

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Don't lie. All of you out there in Ain't It Cool land can pretend you don't want to see a bunch of teenage Aliens dancing and singing in a school cafeteria or gymnasium, but you know you want to. You would pretend you hated it, but secretly it would your most favouritest film of all time.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:36 a.m. CST

    Alien Academy

    by Lost Jarv

    group of misfit Aliens get sent to space cop academy. Hilarity and hijinks ensue. Soundtrack by Weezer.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:38 a.m. CST

    That's a good note, droid

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    But this is a Bay film, so you know that heavy shit they're rolling off the back of the truck would have to be actual shit. Alien shit. That has come out of an Alien's ass.<p>Michael Bay would find that hilarious.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:42 a.m. CST

    Michael Bay's Aliens

    by Lost Jarv

    Fuck Space Marines. We need real US marines. And fuck setting it in the future. Set it in the middle east. Slo-mo (lots of it), drecky soft rock soundtrack. Shia Lebeuf and inappropriate Alien wank joke. <P>PG13

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:43 a.m. CST

    Citizen Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    Black and white. Alien dies hissing the name of it's space sled.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:46 a.m. CST

    The Maltese Alien

    by Droid

    Bogey and the alien queen as the ultimate femme fatal.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:46 a.m. CST

    The Alien Identity

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    A man wakes up with a severe case of amnesia, but it turns out - holy shitballs! - he was a heartless alien killing machine in a previous life.<p>Shaky cam action and sex with some European bird ensues.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:46 a.m. CST

    Twilight Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    EMO teen twat falls in love with "perfect" Alien that glitters in the sun. Alien eviscerates her.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:48 a.m. CST

    Gone with the Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    Angsty overrated Deep south melodrama about One woman's struggle to hold on to her plantation in the civil war. Unfortunately she doesn't know about an Alien Colony in her slave quarters.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:49 a.m. CST

    The Passion Of The Alien

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Alien hears voices. Declares himself 'King Of The Jews'. Gets the living shit beaten out of him.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:49 a.m. CST

    An Alien less ordinary

    by Lost Jarv

    Incomprehensible rubbish about 2 Angels trying to induce love between Janitor and spoilt Alien. Bizarre.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:50 a.m. CST

    Steel Aliens

    by Lost Jarv

    dreadful melodrama about family of aliens that cry a lot. Julia roberts in lead due to resemblance to xenomorph without makeup.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:52 a.m. CST

    Pretty Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    aging perv picks up Alien prostitute. Gets shredded and fails to learn anything about himself or his values.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:53 a.m. CST

    Things to do in LV-426 when you're dead

    by Droid

    An overly convoluted plot involving aliens hissing quasi-cool, imitation Tarantino dialogue.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:54 a.m. CST

    Fried green Aliens at the Whiste Stop Spaceport

    by Lost Jarv

    Angsty cry fest about 2 middle aged women that try to supplement the income in their failing restaurant by serving dead Aliens. <P>Needless to say, this plan is not successful.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:56 a.m. CST

    She's the Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    Freddy Pinze Junior makes bet promising that he can make the Alien into Prom Queen. All ends in tears, but not before there has been a heartwarming lesson learnt by all. <P>Soundtrack by Miley Cyrus

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:56 a.m. CST

    The Alien Suicides

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    This is a quiet drama about five young aliens who take their first faltering steps into adulthood and find they are unable to cope with the loss of their innocence.<p>Very moving.<p>Also, one of the aliens fucks Josh Hartnett on a football field.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:58 a.m. CST

    LOL

    by Lost Jarv

    That was good frank.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:01 a.m. CST

    Driving Miss Alien

    by Droid

    A overly sentimental journey of self-discovery sees the tender relationship between a black man and the alien queen who learns to shed her bigoted beliefs towards "dark meat". It ends with her eating him.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:02 a.m. CST

    A*L*I*E*N*S

    by Lost Jarv

    Sitcom featuring 6 impossibly annoying manhatten Aliens that live in apartments that they wouldn't be able to afford ever, and annoy everyone with their incessant "will they/ won't they" bitching about which pair is going to hook up in this series. <P>Despite running for over 10 years completely fails to develop any character, and the irritating hippy one is still not killed by the end. <P>Theme tune by The White Stripes.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:04 a.m. CST

    Ang Lee's ALien

    by Lost Jarv

    Revolting, pretentious, angsty shite about Alien with father issues and a filthy temper. Film features loads of migraine inducing split screens, and the final battle is Alien v Crap CG Water bubble that vaguely looks like a green mushroom cloud but you can't really tell, and by then have lost the will to live anyway.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:07 a.m. CST

    Brokeback Alien

    by Droid

    Essentially the story of one alien trying to fuck another alien in the ass. With added melodrama.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:08 a.m. CST

    droid

    by Lost Jarv

    and lots of shots of scenery.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:08 a.m. CST

    A*L*I*E*N*S

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    That's funny - the best suggestion so far, I reckon.<p>I would totally watch A*L*I*E*N*S, particularly seasons two and three, when the alien named Rachel will be almost constantly wearing tiny skirts and really tight tops.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:11 a.m. CST

    Debbie Does Aliens

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    The film Eli Roth would love to make - hardcore pornography combined with shocking, bloody, outrageous violence.<p>Watch in horror as an Alien takes that tongue/teeth thing it has and makes Debbie REALLY regret dropping out of beauty school and getting involved in the adult film industry.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:11 a.m. CST

    Would the Rachel A*L*I*E*N...

    by Droid

    have a hairdo that becomes a worldwide phenomenon?

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:11 a.m. CST

    Fear and Loathing in LV-426

    by Lost Jarv

    Literally. And without drugs.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:13 a.m. CST

    Rachel Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    disturbing. But bizarrely the writers seem to think that there is something inherently funny in "Monica Alien used to be fat". So overuse joke beyond the point of irritation.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:14 a.m. CST

    Grosse Point Alien

    by Droid

    The alien goes back to his home town for a high school reunion, and hooks up with his old flame. Ends on the feelgood note of the alien devouring Mini Driver.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:20 a.m. CST

    Aliens Of Space: Dead Alien's Acid Chest

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Starring Orlando Bloom as Hicks, Keira Knightley as Ripley, Jonathan Pryce as Bishop, Keira Knightley as Newt and Johnny Depp as The Alien.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:22 a.m. CST

    I will politely disagree with that

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    I know it's not very sophisticated, but I ALWAYS laugh when the Monica alien is wearing the fat suit, so they should keep going with that.<p>The one change I would make for A*L*I*E*N*S - I would like to see the Monica alien brutally dismember and eat the Chandler alien when he starts getting cringe-inducingly cheesy during the last few years of the show.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:22 a.m. CST

    Alien Begins:

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    The story of how John Doe became what he was destined to be, and avenge the death of his Alien Queen at the hands of Ripley.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:24 a.m. CST

    Alien: The Quantum Of Solace

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Directed by Marc Foster. <p> Says it all. </p>

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:25 a.m. CST

    To Wong Fu, Thanks For Everything, Alien

    by Droid

    Three aliens dress in drag. Hilarity ensues.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:26 a.m. CST

    Regarding Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    Loathsome oscar bait about Alien that is forced to re-evaluate it's life after receiving gun shot wound to the head.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:26 a.m. CST

    ALIEN

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    A group of Aliens are trapped on a planet, and relive their most boring moments in flashback, not realising that this uninhabited planet contains more Aliens on it than anywhere else in the Universe. <p> Created by JJ Abrams, with an up it's own ass amount of existential angst </p>

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:26 a.m. CST

    Alien: Queen of the Desert

    by Droid

    The original australian version that To Wong Fu rips off.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:27 a.m. CST

    The adventures of Alien, Queen of The Desert

    by Lost Jarv

    Guy richie in drag tries to ride Alien across Australia. Ends badly.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:27 a.m. CST

    Alien: Alien Slayer

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Because nothing says sexy like a blond Alien wearing a wig who only puts out to a human who ages three years between scenes.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:27 a.m. CST

    Alien, Alien and Two Smoking Aliens

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Directed by Guy Ritchie.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:28 a.m. CST

    Alien: Portrait of a Serial Killer

    by Droid

    Fascinating portrayal of the mass murderer known only as 'alien'.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:28 a.m. CST

    Survivior: Acheron

    by cineninja

    nuff said

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:29 a.m. CST

    ALIENS

    by Lost Jarv

    Scattered group of Aliens realise that they are actually armour plated killing machines and must come together to save planet. <P>First series is OK, but after taht nosedives horribly.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:29 a.m. CST

    The Dark Alien

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Because nothing says an Alien flick like having Harvey Alien, Bruce Alien and The Alien represent various forms of ID. <p> Includes a scene where Commissionier James Alien has a beer and cheets on his wife. </p>

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:30 a.m. CST

    "Egg In Your Face"

    by cineninja

    A Japanese style game show with Aliens that ends badly, much to the enjoyment of its audience, for the competitors

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:30 a.m. CST

    Jarv

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Man, such hate for Heroes.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:30 a.m. CST

    Ailen Brockovich

    by Lost Jarv

    Company chooses to settle rather than facing death. Alien cast due to uncanny resemblance to Julia Roberts.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:30 a.m. CST

    In Acid Blood

    by Droid

    The story of the two aliens who murdered a family in a rural town in the 60's. The is told by a "reporter" who obviously wants to suck one of the aliens cock.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:31 a.m. CST

    Aliens In The Dark

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Why? Fuck you, that's why.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:31 a.m. CST

    nah- I don't hate heroes Season 1

    by Lost Jarv

    I actually liked it, and even liked the last episode. Season 2 lost me completely and Season 3 kept me lost with that horrible premiere show.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:32 a.m. CST

    Alienville

    by cineninja

    Kansas couple finds egg in a cornfield in Kansas after a spaceship crashes. Facehugger gets Pa. Ma raises Alien to adulthood as a 'human'. Nobody in Kansas notices the difference. Alien gets job at major Metropolitan Newspaper. Shows penchant for chicks with initials LL (and one bald guy). Ends up fighting crime at night...mostly

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:32 a.m. CST

    Alien and Alien

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Two pseudo-Lesbian Aliens decide to kill men, shag Brad Pitt and then fly an open-roof spaceship into space.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:32 a.m. CST

    Forrest Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    Sightly retarded but still functional Alien eats people at a bust stop.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:33 a.m. CST

    Alien Files

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Aliens wonder how fucked up humanity is.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:33 a.m. CST

    Alien: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

    by Droid

    Endless riffing and an unlikely scene where the alien dances on tabletops while playing the jazz flute.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:33 a.m. CST

    The Alien redemption

    by Lost Jarv

    Alien spends 50 years in prison for a murder that it quite obviously did do. <P>It tunnels out eventually. Heartwarming.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:34 a.m. CST

    Alien Trek

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    JJ Abrams is back. In this reimagining, reboot, retcon, revisionistic film he opts to tell the tale of James Tiberius Kirk, a renegade Alien who doesn't know his place, but wants to belong.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:35 a.m. CST

    Alien Nights

    by Lost Jarv

    biopic of well endowed Alien and his rise and fall in the Adult Entertainment industry.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:35 a.m. CST

    Alien

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    JJ Abrams is BACK again, with this show that is like the Alien Files... only with 150% more JJ. <p> Co-Created by the chaps behind Alien Formers, The Alien Island, The Mark of Alien. </p>

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:35 a.m. CST

    Old Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    3 Horney pervs start a frat house to drink beer, meet women, and relive their late teens. <P>Hilarity singularly fails to ensue.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:36 a.m. CST

    Alien Light

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    What happens when an Alien falls in love with a human who can sparkle in the sunlight? <p> No-one cares. </p>

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:36 a.m. CST

    Aienfield

    by Lost Jarv

    3 latte drinking cocksuckers make totally illogical trip across an Alien ravaged New York. Shot in vomit-inducing shakeycam.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:37 a.m. CST

    Alien Weapon

    by Droid

    A black cop on the verge of retirement is partnered with a suicidal alien.<p>By the third movie the alien is doing three stooges imitations.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:37 a.m. CST

    Alien Impossible

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Tom Cruise stars as himself.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:37 a.m. CST

    damnit. Alienfield

    by Lost Jarv

    curse my broken keyboard.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:37 a.m. CST

    An ALIEN and a Gentleman

    by cineninja

    Rebellious Alien for some reason decides the military is a good place for his free wheeling ways. Lou Gosset Jr kicks his ass and shows him how to be a mensch. Ends with him carrying off Deborah Winger and cacooning her.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:37 a.m. CST

    Well, if we're doing telly

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    The one I want to see is Alien, the ongoing story of an Alien who works for the Miami police department and only brutally murders other Aliens.<p>There is also quite a bit of dark comedy as our hero expends enormous amounts of energy trying to convince everyone around him that he's just a normal guy who's into bowling and whatnot and not actually a vicious killing machine from space.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:38 a.m. CST

    AI:3

    by Lost Jarv

    Alien impossible 3. JJ returns and makes fucking terrible (but inexplicably liked by geek hordes) flashback mess. <P>Alien promises to fuck him up if he doesn't learn a new gimmick

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:38 a.m. CST

    Escape From Aliens New York

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Aliens: New York is ours. <br>Kurt: I'd like to test that theory. </br>

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:39 a.m. CST

    Alien Break

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    A bunch of Aliens try and break out of a prison. They do so, and then go on the run... but wind up back inside a prison... only to break out of that prison.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:40 a.m. CST

    Jarv

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    I love how many times we write 'JJ is back' and 'JJ returns', when the sad truth is he doesn't go anywhere.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:41 a.m. CST

    The Bad News Aliens

    by cineninja

    Walter Matthau puts down the bottle long enough to take a young group of misfit aliens and turn them in to a contender for a Little League Championship headed up by a training bra wearing young Alien Queen. Lupus the chestburster however gets all the good scenes

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:41 a.m. CST

    Last Alien in Paris

    by Lost Jarv

    Terribly depressing story about an obsessive relationship between an older man and Alien. Features vomit inducing scene where Alien lubes up Marlon Brando with butter and then savagely cornholes him on the sitting room floor.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:42 a.m. CST

    Big Trouble in Little LV-426

    by Droid

    The remake we want.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:42 a.m. CST

    Big Alien in Little China

    by Lost Jarv

    Alien runs rampage in chinatown. Kurt kicks his ass, because it's all in the reflexes.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:43 a.m. CST

    Mr. Z

    by Lost Jarv

    I know, but he seems to pop up, do something terrible (MI3) and then fuck off for a while- probably spending the time picking what geek property to destroy next time.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:44 a.m. CST

    That's Shitgirl disposed of

    by Lost Jarv

    and now we're after Twilight.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:44 a.m. CST

    Alien Under Siege

    by cineninja

    A former Alien Drone, now working as a cook in the galley of a Naval Battleship, must liberate his ship from Tommy Lee Jones and that other crazy guy from Dr Drews Alien Rehab....

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:45 a.m. CST

    on that note:

    by Lost Jarv

    Scriptalien: <P>Alien reasds variety wearing low cut top. Can of red bull prominently placed- as it tastes slightly more like acid than Alien's blood.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:46 a.m. CST

    VAn Alien: PArty Liason

    by Lost Jarv

    Alien stars as slacker that throws parties. Hit and miss comedy that comes with laxatives, dog semen and bone crunching finale.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:46 a.m. CST

    To Catch an Alien

    by Droid

    Cary Grant as a master catburglar on the french riviera partakes in a witty dalliance with an alien, who may be more than she seems.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:48 a.m. CST

    Sisterhood of the Traveling Aliens

    by just pillow talk

    Four Aliens who have been best buds for like forever, pass around the corpse of Ripley to stay connected with each other as their lives continue to change....

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:48 a.m. CST

    Alien Proof

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Kurt Russell drives a car really fast.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:48 a.m. CST

    Alien Deepthroat

    by cineninja

    yup

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:49 a.m. CST

    Reservoir Aliens

    by Lost Jarv

    Bloody Heist movie. Which one of the criminals is an armour plated killing machine from outer space?

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:49 a.m. CST

    Pretty Alien

    by just pillow talk

    That flip-flopping in your stomach that you feel Richard, it's not love...it's an alien! <p>*cue chest busting alien...roll credits*

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:49 a.m. CST

    Kill Bill Alien

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Quentin Tarantino makes a 90 minute film two films of nearly 4hr length... and forgets that the final climax should be the most exciting moment of the entire film.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:50 a.m. CST

    Alienz in the Hood

    by just pillow talk

    This is how we roll Ice Cube, by chopping your ass in half.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:50 a.m. CST

    Kill Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    Self indulgent tosh that is split into 2 films as it has run on so long. Audience seriously underwhelmed when Xenomorph kills bad guy with 5 touches. <P>Also contains inexplicable Superman monologue from David Carradine to sedated Alien.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:51 a.m. CST

    The Alien Wears Prada

    by just pillow talk

    Bailing on your boyfriend turns out to be the WRONG move!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:51 a.m. CST

    Interview With an Alien

    by cineninja

    Brad Pitt plays an angst ridden human converted to an Alien by Tom Cruise...hold it...I think that actually happened....

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:52 a.m. CST

    Frost/Alien

    by Droid

    The interview which lasted 19 seconds when Frost asked the wrong question and the alien ate him.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:52 a.m. CST

    Pulp Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    3 interlinked stories about small time crook Aliens in LA. Soundtrack is awesome, and contains groundbreaking scene where guy called Z fucks Alien in the ass

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:52 a.m. CST

    The Usual Aliens

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Marvin the Martian, Chewbacca, ALF, Gort, and Kang are stood in a line-up. One of them is Keyser Soze Alien.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:52 a.m. CST

    The Good, The Bad and The Xenomorph

    by Lost Jarv

    ha!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:52 a.m. CST

    Pretty Alien 2

    by cineninja

    Thats not a gerbil you feel, Richard....

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:53 a.m. CST

    Mo Better Aliens

    by just pillow talk

    Always shunned by the other kids, Bleek the Alien grows much more rapidly than the other kids. Fuck playing in the band, it's time to kick some little kids' asses!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:53 a.m. CST

    Xenomorph-Men: United

    by Lost Jarv

    overrated angst fest with spectacular opening as self-harming xenomorph ricochets off every fucking wall in the white house. <P>Rest of movie totally fails to live up to start

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:54 a.m. CST

    Gilmore Aliens

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    A delightful and charming mother and daughter alien enjoy their consistantly delightful and charming lives in a delightful and charming small town on the Alien home planet. The older of the two spends four years clearly being in love with the Alien who runs the local diner, then acts like a total dick once they get together.<p>I think this is a sign that I have run out of ideas for the Alien game. I'm off to lunch.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:54 a.m. CST

    Inglorious Aliens

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Tarantino writes a script about Inglorious Aliens... and then casts Eli Roth.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:55 a.m. CST

    Three Aliens and a Baby

    by cineninja

    It is a very short film....

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:55 a.m. CST

    DareAlien

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    An underrated comic-book film about a blind Alien who dresses up like a superhero and fights crime because of an accident with a vat of Stan Lee brand toxic waste.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:55 a.m. CST

    The Alien Code

    by Droid

    Tom Hanks sporting a Nic Cage hairdo unlocks the ancient mystery to the secret of Jesus' bloodline, hidden in the art of the Alien. The terribly written book is made into a god awful film that makes loads of money, warranting the sequel...

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:56 a.m. CST

    Angels and Aliens

    by Droid

    More crap from Hanks and Howard.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:56 a.m. CST

    Franklin

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    The final three Gilmore Girl scenes are amazing.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:57 a.m. CST

    *shudder* Gilmore Aliens.....

    by Lost Jarv

    Pervert. <P>3 men and a xenomorph <P>3 achingy hip, but possibly homosexual, 80's new york flatmates live in gharish flat in Manhatten. Their lives are changed when unconvincing ex-girlfriend (as if) of one of them leaves newly hatched Chestburster on their doorstep. <P>Hilarity and heartwarming scenes ensue. Especailly when Tom Selleck loses fingers trying to change the chestbursters diaper

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:57 a.m. CST

    YATTA

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    We are now first.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:58 a.m. CST

    An Alien In the Outfield

    by Droid

    A little boys favorite baseball team is visited by an alien who helps them win the pennant by eating all the opposing teams outfielders.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:59 a.m. CST

    Alien: PI

    by Lost Jarv

    Alien in bad Tache drives ferrari.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7 a.m. CST

    The silence of the xenomorph

    by Lost Jarv

    Trainee FBI agent struggles to get insights into serial killer out of caged xenomorph. Caged xenomorph eventually escapes and eats former gaoler.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:01 a.m. CST

    Alien Dragon

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Esteemed FBI agent struggles to get insights into serial killer out of caged xenomorph. <p> HEY WAIT A SECOND... </p>

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:01 a.m. CST

    The Runaway Alien

    by Droid

    An alien who repeatedly jilts the groom at the altar falls in love with a big city reporter who comes to town to cover her latest wedding.<p>First! Yes! On that note... Lunch time!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:08 a.m. CST

    Take that Twilight

    by Lost Jarv

    hehehe <P>We haven't done this in ages.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:12 a.m. CST

    Alien Hour

    by Lost Jarv

    bizarre buddy cop comedy between aging martial arts actor and screechingly unfunny xenomorph. <P>A film to loathe as not only was it successful enough to spawn to even more unfunny sequels, but inflicted Ratner on us,

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:16 a.m. CST

    Alien Hour II

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Like the first one, but set in Japan and without any laughs.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:17 a.m. CST

    Bah

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Rush Hour II was set in China. That film is so bad it's forcing me to make ridiculous errors.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:18 a.m. CST

    Eight Aliens Out

    by just pillow talk

    Clearly the best team due to killing the other teams, hence forcing forfeits, they decide to throw the series. <p>Which comes as a great puzzlement considering Aliens don't use our currency and generally just want to kill humans when they aren't swing the bats.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:19 a.m. CST

    My Best Friend's Alien

    by just pillow talk

    Wedding rehearsal cut short after tragic "accident".

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:21 a.m. CST

    Clone Ripley vs Jason X vs Predator

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    in a triple threat steel cage match.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:26 a.m. CST

    Aliens Like Us

    by just pillow talk

    Two aliens who are sharp as marbles, think they are spies for the U.S. government, only to discover that they are decoys. Hilarity (and gruesome deaths) ensue.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:26 a.m. CST

    Alienatouie

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Alien harbours all-consuming passion to become top chef, but is denied access to the culinary world on account of his penchant for biting holes in the customers' heads.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:26 a.m. CST

    Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

    by Lost Jarv

    I didn't change the title, because it's basically the same except at the end the Aliens are a load of Acid for blood killing machines and they wreak bloody vengeance on everybody involved with that childhood rape. Especially George Lucas, because he's a repeat offender and clearly won't stop before every fond memory of his work is soiled.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:27 a.m. CST

    Alien City

    by Lost Jarv

    beautifully shot green screen ultraviolence fest. Except in my version Alba has to take her clothes of. <P>Mickey Rourke headbutts Alien. Gets chomped.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:29 a.m. CST

    The Fast And The Xenomorph

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Pretty boy alien goes undercover in the world of garish car racing and forms an unlikely bond with shaven-headed anti-hero alien (and also fucks his hot alien sister).<p>This one has often been accused of ripping off Alien Break, which starred Keanu Alien and Alien Swayze.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:30 a.m. CST

    Motoko Kusangi Hasn't Quite Figured Out...

    by LaserPants

    that the movies he likes are not the same as the self. He honestly feels, as many obese virgins do, that the films he likes ARE ACTUALLY HIM, and thus feels threatened and attacked when the films he likes are bashed like the aforementioned T2: WE WUB WOO ROBODADDY / OLD ROBOYELLER.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:31 a.m. CST

    hmmm, Laserpants, a good point

    by Lost Jarv

    but how is it relevant to the current remake with Alien discussion.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:32 a.m. CST

    T2 isn't actually that bad, you know.

    by Lost Jarv

    Would have been better with Xenomorphs.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:32 a.m. CST

    How Is The Gender Reassignment Coming Along, Motoko?

    by LaserPants

    Will you purchase new boobs, or will your current manboobs suffice for the illusion?

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:33 a.m. CST

    Damn it Laserpants

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    STAY ON TOPIC.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:33 a.m. CST

    Showaliens

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    A hateful, ultra-ambitious alien back-stabs her way to the top in the competative field of alien stripping.<p>Has hilarious swimming pool sex with agent Cooper out of Twin peaks, and shows her hideous alien pooter in an attempt to throw off her image as the star of Saved By The Alien.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:33 a.m. CST

    The Alien Mile

    by Droid

    Mystical alien gets charged with murder and affects the lives of the prison guards on his cell block.<p>The scene where he cures the main guards urinary infection is particularly gruesome.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:38 a.m. CST

    Stripalien

    by Lost Jarv

    one Alien queen is so desperate to hang on to her eggs that she takes dubious job getting naked at strip bar. <P>There's a cop, a sleazy senator and some other shit, but (lets face it) you don't care as the only reason anyone saw it was because they wanted to see the Queen Alien's norks.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:38 a.m. CST

    March Of The Aliens

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Schmaltzy, gag-inducing documentary - narrated by Morgan Freealien - about the travails of a bunch of anthropomorphised aliens.<p>Everyone thinks they're soooooooo cute.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:38 a.m. CST

    Laserpants gets old very quickly.

    by Droid

    His sole response is "movies are not the same as the self", and couples it with an insult referring to obesity, virginity or dwelling in a mothers basement.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:39 a.m. CST

    St. Alien's fire

    by Lost Jarv

    angsty coming of age shit which I can barely remeber. Had sax playing Alien though. Or at least, I think it did.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:39 a.m. CST

    Bonfire of the Alien

    by just pillow talk

    What happens when a Wall Street dude, a whore, a reported, and an Alien get stuck together?<p>Dinner for one, that's what.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:40 a.m. CST

    Touching the Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    not recommended. <P>Documentary about 2 climbers. One climber touches alien in his naughty place and gets savaged. Other climber runs for it, but comes back to worldwide scorn for leaving his mate on the mountain.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:41 a.m. CST

    Brotherhood of the Alien

    by just pillow talk

    The ONLY thing that is important is that Monica still gets nekkid in this version.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:42 a.m. CST

    Laserpants

    by Lost Jarv

    has terrible taste. Honestly, he thinks Hostel is cutting edge satire. Who cares though, really? and I happen to agree with him about Robodaddy. When I was 13, I loved it, now it makes me cringe. Luckily there is more than enough goodness in T2 to make up.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:42 a.m. CST

    Alien 'em up

    by Lost Jarv

    suprisingly less of a mess than the clive owen original. But again, as Pillows said, all that matters is that Monica gets naked again.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:42 a.m. CST

    Regarding Alien

    by just pillow talk

    Alien loses memory, but it still doesn't stop the killing.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:43 a.m. CST

    Spider-Alien

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Alien is bitten by a genetically modified spider and takes to fighting crime in a fancy red and blue outfit.<p>Has the hots for the ginger alien who lives next door.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:44 a.m. CST

    Aliens Inc.

    by Droid

    The aliens have doorways into kids bedrooms, which they use to jump out and eat the scared kids. But one alien becomes friendly with a kid, which disrupts the alien way of life.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:44 a.m. CST

    Also-

    by Lost Jarv

    Aliens is NOT the best of the series. Alien is a masterpiece, Aliens is good, but not as good.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:45 a.m. CST

    Spider-Alien 2

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Much like the first one but better, especially the bit where he fights Dr Octo-alien on a train.<p>Still has the hots for the ginger alien who lives next door.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:45 a.m. CST

    One flew over the Alien's nest

    by Lost Jarv

    Alien in Loony bin eats tyrannical head nurse, before being smothered by schizophrenic indian dude.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:46 a.m. CST

    Spider-Alien3

    by Lost Jarv

    incomprehensible, horrible, appaling, underthought, rushed mess. Crime fighting Alien gets magic black suit and struts his funky stuff to prove how bad ass he is, yet stacks it when ginger dog sings TWICE and he doesn't eat her.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:46 a.m. CST

    Spider-Alien 3

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Much like the first two but messier, and with an hilarious dancing scene that everyone hates except me.<p>That damn ginger alien next door is pretty fucking annoying in this one.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:48 a.m. CST

    GoodAliens

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    A bunch of wiseguys rock out to some Cream music.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:48 a.m. CST

    The Revenge of the Aliens

    by Droid

    The aliens head to university where they are picked on by the cool kids and are denied frat membership. They devise a plan to get back at the cool kids by eating them. Cue alien panty raids.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:48 a.m. CST

    Jarv stepped on my punchline

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Bastard.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:48 a.m. CST

    Alien Returns

    by Lost Jarv

    Alien returns to LV426 after absense. Spends time stalking ex, and masturbating in her shrubbery. There's some bullshit real estate plot that audience swears it's seen before and a completely needless kid in it.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:49 a.m. CST

    sorry Frank

    by Lost Jarv

    but I knew you were going to try to paint emo-spidey in a non sucky light and had to get in first.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:49 a.m. CST

    Now THAT'S...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...what I call good title-spamming. Nice work, fellas. <p> And yes, Laserpants has awful taste. The only humanoid in the solar system who has worse taste in movies is DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:50 a.m. CST

    Fantastic Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    Alien family get hit by space rays and nothing much happens. <P>Not that I could make out anyway.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:51 a.m. CST

    The Departed Alien

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    A critically acclaimed film about Alien Gangsters that is lauded because people are idiots. Jack Nicholson Alien stars.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:52 a.m. CST

    Fantastic Alien II: Rise of the Silver Alien

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Urgh.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:52 a.m. CST

    Alien vs Alien

    by Droid

    A fed up queen alien leaves home, and the father must deal with getting to know his son and prioritising family and work. Queen alien returns at the end to seek custody, and wins in court. There is a completely unrealistic scene at the end when queen alien relinquishes custody.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:56 a.m. CST

    Mr & Mrs. Alien

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    A trainwreck of a film in which we're meant to sympathise with two Aliens who're having marriage problems... and who both happen to be cold-blooded assassins. <p> Fuck that noise. </p>

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:58 a.m. CST

    Beverly Hills Alien

    by Droid

    An alien from detroit travels to Beverly Hills to track down the killer of a childhood friend.<p>The sequel has one good scene where the alien refers to himself as psychic Johnny Wishbone.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:02 a.m. CST

    Beverley Hills Alien

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    I am surprised no one has actually made that film, droid.<p>When you think about it, it's no less asinine than Beverley Hills Chiuaua (which I can't wait to see, by the way).

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:07 a.m. CST

    The Alien Game

    by Droid

    An ex-IRA man has a relationship with an alien queen, only to find out that the alien "queen" has a dong.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:08 a.m. CST

    Aliens on a Plane

    by Droid

    Sam Jackson stars. "Get these MFing aliens off this MFing plane!"

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:09 a.m. CST

    Aliens 11

    by Lost Jarv

    Alien recruits 10 other Aliens for heist. Lord alone knows why, because what the fuck is a xenomorph going to do with $1 billion?

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:10 a.m. CST

    Aliens 12

    by Lost Jarv

    just as shit as ALiens 11, but made worse by dancing Vincent Cassel. <P>Not to mention niggling doubts about why they need to do another heist anyway

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:10 a.m. CST

    Aliens 13

    by Lost Jarv

    Not seen it. Wouldn't be surprised to find out it sucks something fierce. I learnt my lesson after Aliens 12.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:11 a.m. CST

    Aliens 12

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Because nothing says a sexy ensemble flick like migrating to Paris and having everyone be smug for two hours.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:11 a.m. CST

    Jarv

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    DAMN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:13 a.m. CST

    ALien Runner

    by Lost Jarv

    Alien hired to hunt down Replicants in neon lit dystopian hell. Alien could also possibly be replicant himself, despite everyone in the universe aside from the director knowing that idea is bollocks.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:20 a.m. CST

    Aliens 12

    by Droid

    Also has the insult to the intelligence, up its own ass, look how clever I am audacity to try to hinge the big caper on a alien queen character pretends to be real life actress contrivance.<p>Audience says fuck you to all involved and filmmakers retreat to Aliens 13, which is a less self-congratulatory retread of Aliens 11.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:21 a.m. CST

    so it's a sci-fi with...

    by FILMFUNK

    Sigourney directed by Scott. Fine by me don't see where the ALIEN angle comes in just do another Sci-Fi Movie together god knows I'm gagging for Ridley to return to sPace because he is fricking Master!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:21 a.m. CST

    Alien Solaris

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    I'm sorry, Soderbergh (?) rocks, but that was a self-indulgent and incredibly bad film. But hey, at least he went down making something that tried to say something about the human psyche.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:29 a.m. CST

    The Assasination of Jesse James by the Coward

    by just pillow talk

    Alien.<p>Always wanting to be part of the gang, the Alien doesn't know if it wants to be like Jesse or not. Quietly the Alien waits, brooding, waiting for it's opportunity. However, after 2 hours of waiting, the Alien decides to kill Jesse. <p>The audience rejoices as this cuts down the running time dramatically to 16 minutes.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:30 a.m. CST

    Pillow

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Fuck me, that was funny. Excellent pastiche.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:31 a.m. CST

    The Alien Redemption

    by chetedawg

    I'd Like to say andy fought the good fight and kept the chest busters away....

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:32 a.m. CST

    The Good Alien

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    A bored, somewhat lonely female alien exorcises her frustrations by fucking the shit out of Jake Gylenhaal.<p>Gylenhaal does not survive.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:34 a.m. CST

    Gone, Alien Gone.

    by Droid

    The story of the mystery surrounding the kidnapping of a young alien and it's effects on the close-knit neighbourhood.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:35 a.m. CST

    Where The Wild Aliens Are

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    A small boy travels to a wondrous and mysterious island... where he is horribly mutilated by aliens dressed in crazy monster costumes.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:37 a.m. CST

    Alien Autopsy

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Ant and Dec are creating a fake Alien video... only for a real Alien to eat them.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:37 a.m. CST

    Bringing up Alien

    by just pillow talk

    Hilarity quickly turns deadly when

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:38 a.m. CST

    fuck me, let's try that again...

    by just pillow talk

    Bringing up Alien: Hilarity quickly turns deadly when

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:38 a.m. CST

    okay, I'll stop now

    by just pillow talk

    Alien is gonna chomp me next me thinks...

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:38 a.m. CST

    Saving Private Alien

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Turns out to be a bad idea because he's a FUCKING Alien, and he'll eat you.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:39 a.m. CST

    White Chicks, Alien Dicks

    by chetedawg

    "its a period piece..."

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:39 a.m. CST

    Alien Suspicion SPOILERS

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    A woman suspects that Cary Grant, her husband, is an Alien. All logic points to him being one, only for the studio to rework the ending so he isn't one. <p> Toss-pots </p>

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:40 a.m. CST

    The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill & Came Down...

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Horribly Mutilated By An Alien.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:40 a.m. CST

    Aliens

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    They weren't suppossed to be here today, and if you enter their store they'll eat you.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:41 a.m. CST

    An Alien to Remember

    by just pillow talk

    When a Man and an Alien meet on board a cruise ship, they quickly fall for each other. Alas, they are both with someone else. When they agree to meet at the Empire State Building, the Alien fails to show up. The man is distraught, little realizing that the hunger within the Alien has risen up again, and the Alien has gone on the rampage, killing half of NYC and impregnating countless others.<p>When the man finally catches up with the Alien, he only sees the love of his life before him. Alas, that's the last thing he sees before getting ripped in half by his Alien lover.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:43 a.m. CST

    Notting Alien

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Hugh Grant spills a substance on the Alien, and for the next 90 minutes is horribly savaged by said Alien.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:43 a.m. CST

    Colonial marines v. aliens

    by EyeofPolyphemus

    As an old school comic book fan, that is what I want to see. a cross between 300 and Band of Brothers.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:43 a.m. CST

    Four Aliens and a Funeral

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Directed by Warwick Davies.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:44 a.m. CST

    The Alien Around the Corner

    by just pillow talk

    When the Alien comes to work at the little shop, Jimmy immediately falls for the Queen. <p>Love is fleeting as the Queen uses the holidays to feast on wave upon wave of customers, impregnating Jimmy with an egg. <p>Happy Holidays.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:44 a.m. CST

    My Stepmother is an Alien

    by Droid

    Daughter is angry with her father's new relationship and sets out to break it up. Through a wacky series of adventures, the girl and alien bond. The father and alien marry, stepmother moves in, and slaughters family. The End.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:45 a.m. CST

    My Blueberry Alien

    by just pillow talk

    Alien goes on roadtrip, killing hundreds, finds itself, goes back to NYC. Kills Jude Law.<p>The End.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:45 a.m. CST

    Four Aliens and a Funeral

    by Lost Jarv

    natch.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:45 a.m. CST

    Closer

    by just pillow talk

    Stupid, stupid, stupid idea to do that with an Alien.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:46 a.m. CST

    Alien Rider

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    When his Father dies after being tricked by the Devil (Peter Fonda), a cocky Alien (Nicholas Cage) decides to gain the ability to spout flames from his head and ride a motorcycle. <p> Along the way he eats sweets from a wine-glass, uses a chain, and takes on the hounds of Hell </p> <p> Rated PG-13 </p>

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:46 a.m. CST

    NOOOOOO!

    by Lost Jarv

    Beaten at my own game. Curse you Mr. Z

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:46 a.m. CST

    Runaway Jury

    by just pillow talk

    What else do you expect the Jury to do when there's an Alien in the courtroom?<p>RUN!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:47 a.m. CST

    Reservoir Alien

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    When Mr. Orange is shot, he bleeds acid all over the bank... the street... a car... and a warehouse... killing millions.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:47 a.m. CST

    Alien, Actually

    by Lost Jarv

    despite being an incomprehensible mish-mash of failed sitcom ideas, and also being quite unbearably smug, there's some laughs to be had from all the Xenophiles out there being gruesomely chomped in their quest for extraterristrial poon. <P>They should have kept cornholing Alf.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:47 a.m. CST

    Chasing Alien

    by Droid

    A comic book artist falls in love with the forbidden fruit... An Alien! Although she only likes alien on alien action, she starts to fall for him. Hilarious complications and a journey of self discovery ensue.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:47 a.m. CST

    Jarv

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    HAH.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:48 a.m. CST

    A time to kill

    by Lost Jarv

    Of course, if you have to rape a facehugger, then you're really going to have to reap the consequences. And as if an Alien gives a shit about legal representation.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:48 a.m. CST

    Alien-teen

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Because nothing says cutting edge like two teenage Aliens being all rebellious and shit.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:49 a.m. CST

    The Other Boylean Alien

    by just pillow talk

    One Alien in court means mayhem and death. Does the King learn anything? Noooooo, he invites a second Alien. Good luck King, since you're the one sexually violated in this one. Twice. Ouch.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:49 a.m. CST

    Alien Wars: A New Hope

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    A Cracker farmboy Alien decides to take on a Nubian God, unleashing a civil war.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:50 a.m. CST

    Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    12 year old loser finds magic wish machine and says "I wish I were an Alien". Moves to New York and gets job with toy company. Eats people, finds girlfriend, and eventually learns that he should stay a kid in this heartwarming coming of age story.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:50 a.m. CST

    Pillow

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    BWAH - awesome!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:50 a.m. CST

    Charlie Wilson's Alien

    by just pillow talk

    So that's the real problem in Afghanistan: Aliens!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:51 a.m. CST

    Alien in Real Life

    by just pillow talk

    The meeting in the library is short-lived...for one of them.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:51 a.m. CST

    Videoalien

    by Lost Jarv

    frustrated perv finds dodgy video of S&M Alien (mostly S, to be honest). Gets obsessed with it and eventually turns into half alien himself.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:52 a.m. CST

    About an Alien

    by Droid

    Hugh Grant plays a stuttering cad who befriends a young troubled alien who's queen mother has recently attempted suicide. Although he buys alien new shoes and watches quiz shows with him, the film ends with alien taking a chunk out of Hughs noggin.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:53 a.m. CST

    The Heartbreak Alien

    by just pillow talk

    Roles are reversed as the wife finds out her husband is really a killing machine. <p>Ben Stiller guests as the very first victim.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:53 a.m. CST

    The Alien candidate

    by Lost Jarv

    China is looking to control the west by substituting xenomorph for presidential candidate. <P>Shortest presidential race in history as all the others are mutilated at the debates. Alien somehow loses to Republican party.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:54 a.m. CST

    The Lives of Aliens

    by just pillow talk

    Communist oppression does not sit well with Aliens.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:54 a.m. CST

    City of Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    coming of age tale featuring one XEnomorph's struggle to raise himself in the Favellas of Rio. Basically, just like living in a big McDonald's carton.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:54 a.m. CST

    The Alien Series

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Alien - Rocky Balboa Alien is working as a low-level enforcer, but manages to snag a fight with a man Apollo Creed. Luckily, if you make Rocky bleed he'll cover you with acid. <br> Alien II - Rocky Balboa Alien is living his life the way he wants, until a horribly scarred Apollo Creed wants a rematch. This time, he hits Rocky so hard that Apollo is blinded by acid and loses the fight.</br> <br> Rocky III - Rocky Balboa Alien is losing sight of the prize, and gets beaten by a fellow Alien named Clubber Lang. Luckily, a still horribly scarred Apollo is going to train Rocky for the big fight. </br> <br> Rocky IV - A new Alien arrives, this one from the Repbulic of Russia-topia. He beats Apollo and Rocky to a pulp, but meets his match when Rocky decides he's going to embrace his inner Alien. </br>

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:55 a.m. CST

    Sexy Alien

    by just pillow talk

    Ben is in a battle of wits, or so he thinks. Too bad the Alien doesn't have a funny bone in it's body. But it's got plenty of acid!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:55 a.m. CST

    Pan's Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    Young Alien retreats into dreamworld to escape horrors of Franco's spain. <P>Clobbers stupid eye in hand thing and completely shreds the faun.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:57 a.m. CST

    Alien Boy II

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    It couldn't be anymore indulgent.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:58 a.m. CST

    Run Fat Alien, Run!

    by just pillow talk

    Alien decides to change the path of its life, and compete in a marathon. Two things happen: one, Alien eats everyone as this is its "meals on wheels" equivalent, and two, Alien wins in record time as those joggers have never run so fast in their lives in sheer terror. BTW, the Alien was never really fat, so the title is a bit off in this version as well.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:58 a.m. CST

    It's a wonderful Alien!

    by Lost Jarv

    Hearwarming story about suicide (to be honest, I've never really understood why it's so heartwarming- it just is). Except in this one his method is to spill Xenomorphs pint. And once started he has to go through with it. <P>"Every time a bell rings, another Alien gets it's strange second mouth".

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:58 a.m. CST

    Jersey Alien

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    When Ben Affleck is forced to raise an Alien kid alone, he goes back to New Jersey... only to be brutally ravaged and impregnated himself.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:59 a.m. CST

    WatchAliens

    by Lost Jarv

    Group of failed superheros discover about Alien thread. No squid to be seen. Just load of fucked off xenomorphs that turn them into confetti.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:59 a.m. CST

    or even Alien Threat.

    by Lost Jarv

    Curse sloppy

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:59 a.m. CST

    I Am Alien

    by Droid

    The alien is the sole survivor of a virus that has turned all other aliens into scientologists hell bent on brainwashing said alien into "donating" funds to the church. Can the alien find the cure, and memorize Shrek 2 before it's too late?

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9 a.m. CST

    The Alien Diaries

    by just pillow talk

    Alien connects with a young four year, who tastes a lot like chicken. Alien then eats the parents who never even realized the boy was eaten. <p>Suffice to say, the Alien can no longer get nanny work in the area.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9 a.m. CST

    Wild Wild West Aliens

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Will Smith and Kevin Kline mug for the camera as they are ripped apart by a xenomorph.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9 a.m. CST

    dagnamit

    by Lost Jarv

    curse my sloppy typing. <P>It wasn't even that funny to begin with.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:01 a.m. CST

    Alien Hostel

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Because American frat boys would be dumb enough to be surprised that having sex with Aliens was a bad idea.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:01 a.m. CST

    The Alien Man

    by Lost Jarv

    hideously disfigured freak show inhabitant is rescued by kindly doctor. Except it turns out he isn't disfigured. He's an Alien. <P>Carnage ensues.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:02 a.m. CST

    Alien and Alien

    by just pillow talk

    Two different perspectives of the same story: one a funny version where the Alien kills everyone involved, particularly Will Ferrell. <p>The second story is more tragic in that Will is not killed in this version, but others are.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:02 a.m. CST

    Yay

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    We've almost twice the Twilight posts.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:02 a.m. CST

    Inland Empire

    by Lost Jarv

    Fuck knows what's going on. Except I think I saw a xenomorph with a rabbit's head.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:03 a.m. CST

    Mulholland Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    Again, fuck knows' what's going on. Except this time there was some Alien on Alien action to keep me interested

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:03 a.m. CST

    Alien Hall

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Lasts thirty-one seconds.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:03 a.m. CST

    Alien X

    by Droid

    Spike Lee's biography of the militant alien leader Alien X, who was assassinated because of his political beliefs.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:04 a.m. CST

    Fuck

    by Lost Jarv

    That first one should have been "INLAND ALIEN" <P>Not sure it makes that much difference.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:04 a.m. CST

    The Alien Story

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    A senile old Alien rides across America on a lawnmower, and when he reaches his destination decides to turn around and go home. <p> Billions die </p>

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:05 a.m. CST

    Manhatten Murder Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    No mystery here. The 8 foot, acid for blood, steel toothed killing machine did it.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:05 a.m. CST

    Alienhead

    by Lost Jarv

    something to do with mutants and sex. Features xenomorph. Fuck knows why.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:06 a.m. CST

    This is a masterclass in

    by Lost Jarv

    changian TB ethics. I'm very proud of our work

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:06 a.m. CST

    Perfume: Story of an Alien

    by just pillow talk

    The Alien is drawn to smell...bad news for the 18th century.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:07 a.m. CST

    Can Sigourney be dressed like she was in Galaxy Quest?

    by Snake Foreskin

    I'd go see it then.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:07 a.m. CST

    Farewell, my Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    hard boiled story featuring Alien PI, big guy and Nightclub singer. May be a touch confusing, but at the end of the day, if you can't work out that the Alien killed everybody then you're pretty dumb.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:08 a.m. CST

    Alien Hollow

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    The heads being cut off is bad enough, but when they belong to Aliens then the resulting acidic spray is going to wipe out the quiet town of Alien Hollow.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:08 a.m. CST

    Alien Grafitti

    by Droid

    A love letter to the 50's where young aliens would cruise main street, eat diner patrons and drag their T-Birds for pinks.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:08 a.m. CST

    Alien Camp

    by just pillow talk

    Jesus can't save you....

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:08 a.m. CST

    Snake

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Damnit sir, stay on topic.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:08 a.m. CST

    Who Killed the Electric Car?

    by just pillow talk

    Simple: Aliens.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:08 a.m. CST

    Whoa there snake....

    by Lost Jarv

    How is that relevant?

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:09 a.m. CST

    Alien School Musical

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    An Alien spends sixty minutes watching metrosexual teenagers bop around... and then goes fucking crazy, maiming and ravaging and eating and fucking disemboweling. <p> Rated PG-13 </p>

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:09 a.m. CST

    An Inconvenient Alien

    by just pillow talk

    Gore's presentation cut short when Alien storms the stage. His charts didn't predict THIS.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:10 a.m. CST

    Scream

    by Lost Jarv

    not so postmodern this version, no cape, no mask, no references to 80's slasher films. Just 1 xenomorph with an attitude problem, and lots and lots of dead high school students. <P>Heroine does the nasty with the Alien. And very nasty it is indeed.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:10 a.m. CST

    Alien Runner

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Least in this version, there's no ambiguity. HE IS A FUCKING ALIEN.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:10 a.m. CST

    Alien-In-Law

    by just pillow talk

    Kills entire cast, thus preventing one painful movie watching experience for hundreds. <p>Thank you Alien.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:11 a.m. CST

    Fucking hell

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    This TB has just run and run.<p>Is there no end of films that Aliens can be inappropriately shoe-horned into?<p>Probably not.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:11 a.m. CST

    Deliveralien

    by Lost Jarv

    Fat yuppies go on ill-advised canoing trip. Run into Aliens. Get fucked (one literally).

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:11 a.m. CST

    A for Alien

    by just pillow talk

    Sorry, even shaved heads are food for the Aliens.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:12 a.m. CST

    Jarv

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Neve Campbell banging an Alien... man, that would fuck her up for life. <p> What if the Alien wanted to cuddle afterwards </p>

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:12 a.m. CST

    Alien Instinct

    by Droid

    Michael Douglas is uncontrollably attracted to the sci-fi horror author Queen Alien, who's under suspicion because of the series of gruesome murders that are remarkably similar to those described in her book.<p>The leg crossing scene is infamous.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:12 a.m. CST

    I know what the Alien did last summer.

    by Lost Jarv

    It's pretty fucking obvious: killed lots of people.<P>Really, people....

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:12 a.m. CST

    Dial M For Alien

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    If you want to DIE.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:12 a.m. CST

    Cinderella Alien

    by just pillow talk

    Alien comes from nowhere and kills all its boxing competition. Think anyone is gonna disqualify the Alien?

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:13 a.m. CST

    Charlie's Aliens

    by just pillow talk

    These sexy Aliens know how to get the job done.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:13 a.m. CST

    American Alien

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    You can take your pick with this one:<p>Horny teen aliens try to lose their virginity.<p>Buttoned down Wall Street alien is actually a serial killer. Or is he?<p>Middle aged alien has mid-life crisis.<p>Mid-Western alien attampts to make low budget horror film with his possibly retarded friend.<p>There are probably more. You Americans certainly like films named American Somethingorother.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:13 a.m. CST

    Alien Movie

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    A parody only works when the lead actor isn't ripping the director's neck off.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:14 a.m. CST

    Turner and Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    mismatched cop comedy with 1 lovable grouch and 1 untamable xenomorph partner. And no, he does not complain when it eats his shoes.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:14 a.m. CST

    The OH in Alien

    by just pillow talk

    As in "Oh my fucking God, there's fucking Aliens here! Run for your fucking...oohhhhhh aaarrrrgghhh!!!!"

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:15 a.m. CST

    Total Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    Alien may or may not have gone to mars and saved the planet.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:15 a.m. CST

    My Super Ex-Alien

    by just pillow talk

    Reconciliation is a bitch with an Alien.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:15 a.m. CST

    Rules Of Alien Attraction

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    1) When you slit a characters wrists in a bath-tub as a cheap way for us to empathise with the heroine, it's best if said character isn't an Alien because the acid will sink through the bath-tub, the floor, and kill anyone below.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:16 a.m. CST

    Sex and The Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    misguided. Frankly.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:16 a.m. CST

    Alien Vice

    by just pillow talk

    Even with graphic kills, there's still a drab story and drab love story thrown in.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:17 a.m. CST

    Family Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    shitey comdey show with lame as fuck pop culture references only enlivened by occasional appearance of xenomorph.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:17 a.m. CST

    DreamAliens

    by just pillow talk

    Three sexy, dazzling Aliens make it to the top of the song charts by killing off all of their competition. The Record deals keep coming due to the bone chilling terror that the record industry is under with these three killing machines.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:18 a.m. CST

    Alien Driver

    by Lost Jarv

    vietnam veteran Alien takes job driving. Goes badly for passenger and New York in general.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:18 a.m. CST

    Alien Almighty

    by just pillow talk

    God may have made a big boo boo by giving a FUCKING ALIEN the power of God!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:19 a.m. CST

    Alien & I

    by Lost Jarv

    1 out of work actor who shares a flat with an Alien goes on disastrous trip to Wales. Well, disastrous for him and Wales.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:19 a.m. CST

    Jane Austens Alien and Alienability

    by Droid

    The charming, victorian era adventures of the alien sisters looking for love and/or suitable husbands.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:20 a.m. CST

    Life of Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    apparently it's not satire of Christianity. It's satire of all organised religion, but with extra killings.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:20 a.m. CST

    Conan the Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    Oiled up Loincloth clad xenomorph kills guy that can turn into snake. <P>Actually, that's not out of the question.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:20 a.m. CST

    The Banger Aliens

    by Droid

    Goldie Hawn and Susan Sarandon star. No make up required.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:23 a.m. CST

    Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Aliens

    by toadkillerdog

    The adventures of two smokin hot Alien babes abandoned on Earth, and forced into a life of lawlessness, stripping, drugs, prostitution, and bloody revenge! <p> A love story.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:24 a.m. CST

    Alienville

    by Droid

    Tobey Maguire and Reese Witherspoon get transported into the movie Aliens and help the aliens of LV-426 learn about love and life.<p>The scene where Queen Alien fingers herself to orgasm is more disturbing than erotic.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:24 a.m. CST

    Iron Alien

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Not sure why you'd put an Alien in a fucking iron suit, but there you go.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:25 a.m. CST

    A Streetcar Named Alien

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    There's something odd about Blanche...

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:26 a.m. CST

    What's Eating Gilbert Grape?

    by just pillow talk

    An Alien of course.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:26 a.m. CST

    Sigourney was hot in Galaxy Quest! If she gets all nasty

    by Snake Foreskin

    like she did in Ghostbusters, I'd see that. Oh wait. She tried that in Alien: Resurrection. That was just creepy. Does the design of the "hybrid" alien haunt your nightmares as it does mine? Not because it is scary. Just because it was such an incredibly shitty design!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:26 a.m. CST

    Guess who's coming to Dinner?

    by just pillow talk

    An Alien of course.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:27 a.m. CST

    Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Alien

    by just pillow talk

    Butch chose very poorly with his partner.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:28 a.m. CST

    The Basketball Diaries

    by Droid

    A young alien gets mixed up in the world of drugs. Set on the Alien 4 ship.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:28 a.m. CST

    Kelly's Aliens

    by just pillow talk

    Fuck the gold, these Aliens just want to kill everyone.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:28 a.m. CST

    I, Alien. Starring Will Smiff as everybody.

    by Snake Foreskin

    Aw, Hell Naw! Ker-Splat!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:28 a.m. CST

    Chitty Chitty Alien Bang

    by toadkillerdog

    Alien comes to earth, gets banged by Chitty and Choopy (The Chupacabra). <p> A love story

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:30 a.m. CST

    The Third Alien

    by Snake Foreskin

    Harry Lime is actually a Xenomorph. Poor Joseph Cotten.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:30 a.m. CST

    When Harry met an Alien

    by just pillow talk

    Humans and Aliens cannot be friends, let alone lovers. <p>Diner fake orgasm scene remains a truly disturbing piece of cinema to this day.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:31 a.m. CST

    Deep Throat. Gives it a whole new meaning, doesn't it?

    by Snake Foreskin

    Ker-Splat!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:31 a.m. CST

    28 Alien Days later

    by toadkillerdog

    Aliens come to Earth, get bitten by rabid prostitute zombies, become alien zombie prostitutes. <p> A love story.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:32 a.m. CST

    Ridley Needs a Hit

    by FlyingToupee

    His last couple of films were disappointments at the boxoffice. A return to the ALIEN universe would be a surefire way to make himself bankable again.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:32 a.m. CST

    My Left Foot

    by Droid

    The fucking alien ate the right one!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:33 a.m. CST

    Hey, how about a remake of Marty, but instead of Ernest Borgnine

    by Snake Foreskin

    it's an Alien? Better yet, a remake of Harvey. But instead of a Man-Sized Rabbit, harvey is a Xenomorph. Poor Jimmy Stewart. He never knew what hit hi Ker-Splat!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:33 a.m. CST

    Driving Miss Alien

    by just pillow talk

    Worst career choice ever.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:33 a.m. CST

    Rain Alien

    by Droid

    Tom Cruise learns to love his autistic alien brother.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:34 a.m. CST

    Dances with Aliens

    by just pillow talk

    Kevin learned a wee bit too much of alien culture...

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:35 a.m. CST

    Alien vs King Kong

    by Snake Foreskin

    Alien vs Godzilla. Alien vs King Kong vs Godzilla.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:36 a.m. CST

    Alien without a cause

    by Droid

    What are you alienating against?<p>What you got?

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:37 a.m. CST

    Alien on a hot tin roof

    by Droid

    He'd be a loud fucker!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:37 a.m. CST

    Cool Hand Alien

    by Droid

    No one can eat 50 heads!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:39 a.m. CST

    The Alien of Oz

    by Droid

    There's no place like LV-426.<p>There's no place like LV-426.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:41 a.m. CST

    I'll watch this is Sigourney looks like she did in Heartbreakers

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:41 a.m. CST

    Who's afraid of Alien Woolf?

    by Lost Jarv

    I am, george, I am.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:41 a.m. CST

    Million Dollar Alien

    by Droid

    An cranky old boxing trainer reluctantly takes on a young, brash alien.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:42 a.m. CST

    Metalienica: Some Kind Of Alien

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Three aging metal-head aliens find themselves adrift and squabbling after accidentally (yet savagely) killing their bassist.<p>They fight, they moan, they ponder the killing of their original bassist, they try to make nice with the ginger alien they tried to kill, and one of them strops off to alien rehab.<p>Eventually, our alien heroes reform, release a wildly unpopular album, and recruit a brand new bassist who, so far, they have yet to kill.<p>That's it. I'm out. I have to stop or I'm going to start inserting the word alien into my letters.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:42 a.m. CST

    That reminds me Danny

    by Lost Jarv

    I've worked out what Selleck is in the general scheme of things: Cut-price Reynolds.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:43 a.m. CST

    Sorry, meant this reminds me

    by Lost Jarv

    Smokey and The Alien <P>Space cop chases Alien bootlegger across 5 galaxies. Hilarity and hijinks ensue.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:45 a.m. CST

    Alienspotting

    by Lost Jarv

    more hazardous to your health than heroin.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:46 a.m. CST

    what does that mean?

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:47 a.m. CST

    so seriously....where all the bitches at?

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    I got half a bottle a Malibu Rum and a pack of Ultra Thins.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:48 a.m. CST

    I AM ALIEN -- starring Will Smith

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    A film that combines the best elements of Men In Black and Six Degrees of Separation.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:49 a.m. CST

    Aliens on 34th Street

    by just pillow talk

    Macy's makes a critical error hiring Aliens to play Santas. A buffet line of children going to see Alien Santas...not good.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:50 a.m. CST

    EMMA WATSON IS WILLING TO DO NUDITY!

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    Harry Potter star Emma Watson is willing to strip naked on the big screen - as long as she is directed by acclaimed Italian filmmaker Bernardo Bertolucci. <P> The young actress, who stars as Hermione Granger in the box office blockbuster franchise, is on the lookout for new movie parts.<P> And Watson would be happy to bare all on screen for any roles offered her way - but would prefer Stealing Beauty director Bertolucci to be behind the camera. <P> Asked if she would be happy to reveal all she says, "Yes - for him. It depends. I'm not getting my kit off any time soon, but it is part of my job." <P>

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:51 a.m. CST

    12 Angry Aliens

    by Lost Jarv

    not so much courtroom drama as slaughterfest.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:52 a.m. CST

    The Alien's Advocate

    by just pillow talk

    Finally, Keanu emotes emotion, granted it's one of terror as he learns the law firm is populated by Aliens.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:52 a.m. CST

    Star Wars: Return of the Xenomorph

    by Lost Jarv

    Xenomorph let lose on Endor. It goes extremely badly for Ewoks. <P>Which, lets face, it is quite probably a good thing,

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:53 a.m. CST

    Bubba Ho-Alien

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    Bruce fights aliens, and fucks aliens. The result is a hideous child that resembles Adrien Brody.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:56 a.m. CST

    Hermione

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Uwe Boll will be ringing her in 3... 2...

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Jurassic Alien

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    A T-Rex/Xenomorph hybrid genetically bred by the devilish John Hammond to be used as foot soldiers during the inevitable invasion of New Zealand in 2012. We got Sam Neill, kickin' ass and screaming "BABIES SMELL" at inappropriate times, and Jeff "The Rod" Goldblum spending most of the film in a Maori brothel and reciting Matthew McConaughey's dialogue from A Time To Kill, "Now...now....imagine she's whiiiiite."

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 9:59 a.m. CST

    Ebert's 20 best films of the year is interesting...

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    Ballast, The Band’s Visit, Che, Chop Shop, The Dark Knight, Doubt, The Fall, Frost/Nixon, Frozen River, Happy-Go-Lucky, Iron Man, Milk, Rachel Getting Married, The Reader, Revolutionary Road, Shotgun Stories, Slumdog Millionaire, Synecdoche New York, W. and Wall-E.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:01 a.m. CST

    Aliendoche, New York

    by The Atomic Worm

    The Alien, having achieved sentience, is disappointed with his depiction in recent alien films. He finds his way to earth, where, much to everyone's surprise, instead of wreaking the usual death and mayhem, he takes over a major studio. . . there, he begins writing and directing a film. After a series of horrifically bloody and gruesome scenes where he haggles with agents, he gets Sigourney Weaver for Ripley, Michael Biehn for Hicks, Charles S. Dutton for Charles S. Dutton (because he's so damn cool), Michael Clarke Duncan for Newt, and Bruce Villanch for Jonesy. Tony Danza plays the Alien. It's all very meta, and soon Tony is mackin' on the Alien's girlfriend, Weaver is kicking ass, wielding a flame thrower, demanding higher pay and a better bald cap, and Michael Biehn has morphed into the mannequin from Alien 3. After a heart-rending scene where the Alien declares himself "King of the ALIEN WORLD !!!!," he rips off his mask, revealing James Cameron. In the final scene, David Fincher boots him out of the airlock. Roll credits.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:03 a.m. CST

    Eberts 20

    by Droid

    I was going to make a point of trying to catch all those films. Especially interested in Ballast for some unknown reason. Black people on the delta ain't exactly my demographic.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:04 a.m. CST

    Alien-Go-Lucky

    by Lost Jarv

    story of one revoltingly chirpy xenomorph, who always looks on the bright side despite the fact that her life is obviously shit.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:07 a.m. CST

    Slumdog Alienaire

    by Droid

    The story of a plucky young alien who appears on Who Wants To Be Millionaire, promptly eats the presenter and wins universal acclaim.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:08 a.m. CST

    An Alien Less Ordinary

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    A chain-smoking alien named Victor is a janitor that just got fired. Ewan McGregor is a spoiled hotel heiress in drag. Fate brings them together and they take a road-trip across America. Fast cars, fast women, road-head from a chain-smoking alien. <p>Soundtrack by Tangerine Dream <p>Directed by: Danny Boyle

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:11 a.m. CST

    Zack and Alien Make a Porno

    by Droid

    Rent must be paid!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:15 a.m. CST

    Alien Terminal

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    Boris is a young Xenomorph trying to get into New York. He has just learned his nation Plathuka K, no longer exists following years of nuclear warfare during his long voyage to Earth. He is a citizen of no planet, therefore he cannot be allowed entry into America. He meets Linda, a foxy flight attendant just passing through. Boris asks Linda if she would like to join him in the bathroom. She says "Sure thing sweet cakes." In stall #5, Linda proceeds to suck Boris off for a good hour until his Xenomorph wad bursts through the back of her skull. Now Linda is fucking dead, and Boris is still without a home. <P> <p> Original Score by Hans Zimmer <p> <p>Cinematography by Jan De Bont <p> Directed by Steven Spielberg

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:19 a.m. CST

    The Dark Alien

    by toadkillerdog

    Alien comes to earth, falls in love with Jakes ugly brother. Fights crime as a mask wearing prostitute. A love story

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:20 a.m. CST

    A clockwork Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    social comment? scathing dystopian satire?or the story of one Alien with a thing for Classical music and his rampages around his town, prison etc. THere's no singing in the rain scene, because Xenomorphs can't sing. That would be foolish.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:22 a.m. CST

    Catch me if you can. Starring Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    Fat wisecracking con artist goads alien. Needless to say, Alien catches him and fucks him up.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:24 a.m. CST

    alien again

    by Moshi

    did I really read here that someone liked alien predator reqiem!!? That movie is about as bad as it gets. How those directors managed to make such an awful film when given such jewels to work with is one of histories most bizarre events. Alien is well & truly milked, but Ridley may create something interesting. Legend deserves a sequel, though I get nervous about revisiting such perfection.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:25 a.m. CST

    Alien Begins

    by toadkillerdog

    Alien comes to earth, has a gravelly voice, pisses off DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD, grills, and eats DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD after he mouths off one time too many. Becomes a mask wearing , gravelly voiced vigilante prostitute. <p> A love story

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:29 a.m. CST

    Uncle Alien

    by Droid

    When an emergency calls the parents away, the lovable Uncle Alien reluctantly agrees to take care of the kids. He immediately connects with the tykes, but the oldest is giving him a hard time. She comes around when he eats Bug in retaliation for him getting a bit handsy. He also eats the mole off the principles face, the slutty neighbour and serves up the biggest pancakes you've ever seen.<p>A family film.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:30 a.m. CST

    DannyGloversAlienDickblood

    by toadkillerdog

    Heh heh

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:30 a.m. CST

    Legend deserves a sequel?

    by Lost Jarv

    Legend is perfection? <P>I presume your not talking about Will Smith's butchering of Matheson there.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:31 a.m. CST

    Alien Organ Donor

    by toadkillerdog

    In Hawaii

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:31 a.m. CST

    Alien Story

    by Lost Jarv

    heartwrenching tale about young woman that falls in love with Xenomorph and discovers that she has terminal disease. <P>Stupidity. Xenomorph punches hole through her head when they're on the job.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:32 a.m. CST

    Jonah Alien

    by toadkillerdog

    And the search for the miniphant

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:32 a.m. CST

    Freds Alien Balls in a Mason Jar

    by toadkillerdog

    A love story

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:33 a.m. CST

    The Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    offensive, yet hilarious, comedy about misfit Alien and his struggle to be accepted without butchering all and sundry. Includes nob joke and shit joke.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:33 a.m. CST

    ToadKillerAlien

    by toadkillerdog

    Amphibian eating xenomorph

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:33 a.m. CST

    Alien Gangbang....starring Chitty Chitty...

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    Directed by Milos Forman

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:34 a.m. CST

    Alien Pillow Talk

    by toadkillerdog

    Morning chat show

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:35 a.m. CST

    Lost Alien

    by toadkillerdog

    Welsh hating xenomorph

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:35 a.m. CST

    Dances With Aliens

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    Kevin Costner, the western frontier, and one of those hot blue chicks from Jabba's Palace-- fucking on camera for 3 and a half hours inside the carcass of a buffalo. <p>Directed by Breck Eisner

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:36 a.m. CST

    Franklin T Alien

    by toadkillerdog

    Green skinned xenomorph whose motto is, 'you wouldn't like me if i'm angry'

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:37 a.m. CST

    Alien Foreskin

    by toadkillerdog

    Rightwing nutjob xenomorph

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:38 a.m. CST

    Coughlins Alien

    by toadkillerdog

    Rightwing nutjob xenomorph

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:39 a.m. CST

    HoboAlien

    by toadkillerdog

    Alien Smash!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:40 a.m. CST

    One Flew Over The Alien's Nest

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    Upon arrival at an insane asylum, Jack Nicholson meets Chief Will Sampson, who tells him of old Sioux legend of the white man who fucked an alien in the carcass of a buffalo for three and a half hours. Overwhelmed with a sense of love and sexual frustration, Jack stabs himself in the forehead with a fork causing permanent brain damage. <p>Dances With Aliens can either be intercut as Chief Sampson tells of the legend, or it can be a stand alone prequel. <p>Directed by Jonathan Demme

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:41 a.m. CST

    Seven Brides For Seven Aliens

    by Droid

    The honeymoon will be murder!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:47 a.m. CST

    The Last Temptation of Ripley

    by Jonah Echo

    at the end, it will be symbolic when she has to sacrifice herself, and falls, with her arms spread wide like Christ, and for extra effect, so no one misses the symbolism, she will grab the baby chestburster like mary with baby jesus in those old paintings, yo! It will be box-office/arthouse magic.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:47 a.m. CST

    I am not the Alien you are looking for

    by toadkillerdog

    Alien comes to earth, becomes a prostitute, gets 'discovered' by(blackmails) Lucas, gets into trashy movie.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:53 a.m. CST

    Visitor Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    vastly better than Miike's original. Alien pitches up in fucked up family's house and kills them all. No incest, no necrophilia and no exploding lactation.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:53 a.m. CST

    Dirty Rotten Aliens

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    Aliens arrive on earth wearing body-suits that resemble actors Steve Martin and Michael Caine. They were dispatched to the French Riviera to assassinate Jacques Chirac, who is vacationing there with his mistress. Upon arrival the aliens learn that French women drop to their knees instantly when international sensations Steve and Michael enter a room. So there is change of plan, instead of assassinating Chirac themselves, they shall impregnate as many French women as they can in 48 hours, creating an army of human/alien hybrids which will overthrow the French government in 20 years time. In the meantime, Steve and Michael shall lay low in Cannes, and become honorary judges for the esteemed film festival, where they will give the Palm D'Or to Bryan Singer every year, regardless if he has a film in the competition or not.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 11 a.m. CST

    The Alien Job

    by Lost Jarv

    Alien robs italian bank. No mini needed.<p> "We're the self preservation soo-sy-it-ee"

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 11 a.m. CST

    Dawn of the Dead Aliens

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Brett Ratner's remake of 'Dawn Of The Dead', but with Aliens who infect people by ravaging them through the space between their toes.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 11:06 a.m. CST

    From Dusk Till Alien

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    <p> All right, Alien, Alien, Alien! Come on in Alien lovers! Here at the Boll Pit we're slashing Alien in half! Give us an offer on our vast selection of Alien, this is a Alien blow out! All right, we got white Alien, black Alien, Spanish Alien, yellow Alien, we got hot Alien, cold Alien, we got wet Alien, we got Chet Alien: smelly Alien, we got hairy Alien, bloody Alien, we got snappin' Alien, we got silk Alien, velvet Alien, Naugahyde Alien, we even got horse Alien, dog Alien, chicken Alien! Come on, you want Alien, come on in, Alien lovers! If we don't got it, you don't want it! Come on in, Alien lovers!</p>

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 11:16 a.m. CST

    The Dead Aliens Society

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    Robin Williams is an esteemed college professor with a little bit of a drug problem. After a weekend binge of snorting ungodly amounts of cocaine and industrial strength cleanser, he runs around campus screaming "I'M MORE MOTHERFUCKERS!! O' CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN.....SUCK MA' DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!"

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 11:17 a.m. CST

    "I'M MORK MOTHERFUCKERS...." not MORE

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    get it?

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 11:26 a.m. CST

    Ripley is DEAD

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Ripley 8 is just a clone. Even if she has Ellen Ripley's memories, she's a different woman. Half-alien, too.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 11:37 a.m. CST

    Hey, Abom

    by toadkillerdog

    How have you een?

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 12:12 p.m. CST

    Vern...

    by 420 Boylston St

    Ripley became interesting because of James Cameron's take on the character. Every other film garnered on the first film's interpretation of the charcter: A wise cracking heartless bitch. Cameron gave Ripley a soul and earn her an Oscar nomination. In return of this Weaver and other producers decided to shit all over the character, and kill all those great characters Cameron introduced. Honestly Weaver doesn't have a fucking clue how Ripley should be handled and I'm not keen on giving Ridley Scott a knight's hand on this hypothesize, fantasy project--which would be shit. Ripley is NOT an interesting character without Newt; I love the lost of a mother concept. Now where can they possible go with this sci-fi hyperbole of bullshit? I think the reason why the Alien hasn't been appealing is because they've been done by Alec Gillis and Tom Woodruff Jr. Their take of the Alien has been more cartoony--more assessible than the creatures done by Stan Winston and HR Giger. Where are the sexual innuendoes? Where are the disgusting subtext for human sexual bodily functions that creeped audiences out in the 80's? My opinion is the wrong people have been involved with these films and it's time to give Ripley and Sigourney's BIG FAT EGO a rest. Ripley will never be bigger than Alien or the likes of a good, well-written script.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 12:20 p.m. CST

    chronicles of ripley

    by ironic_name

    cool.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 12:21 p.m. CST

    as a joke trailer ...

    by durhay

    in a post-apolyptic world, have someone encounter a facehugger. Suddenly, the facehugger is ripped off, taking the face with it. It's dropped to the ground. Slowly pan up until you see the face - a T-100's.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 12:30 p.m. CST

    Only in Hollywood

    by indyjonez100

    Well, we would have to have something else besides the Alien in an aliens sequel. Truly not unbelievable.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 1:06 p.m. CST

    TKD

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Fine, just working, hangin'. Ya know.<br> The only sequel that might work for me here would be a prequel. I wouldn't mind seeing Ellen Ripley as a young woman prior to the events in Alien, but then you'd need a compelling story. And I can't imagine anything so horrific happening to her pre-Alien that would result in Alien being all that traumatic for her, which it clearly was.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 1:29 p.m. CST

    I agree with VERN

    by angelopoulos

    This sounds great. Siggy is what these movies are about. Now that she's an alien she could be the bridge that gaps two worlds, prophecy, some intelligent aliens, space jockeys, excellent!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 1:42 p.m. CST

    when the world needed her she was there

    by ArcadianDS

    and then she was there again<p> and again<p> and again<p> but this time<p> Its different.<p> ALIENS 5: THERMAL MELTDOWN coming soon.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 2:15 p.m. CST

    The Alienator

    by TheHumanBeingAndFish

    An Alien is sent back in time. Slaughters people, alienating the rest of us. Gropes women, gets elected Governor of California. Carnage ensues.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 2:20 p.m. CST

    Moulin Alien

    by TheHumanBeingAndFish

    An outrageous costume musical spectacle taking place in turn-of-the-century Paris. An alien slaughters lots of people dressed in beautiful costumes, while people around sing '80s tunes.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 2:35 p.m. CST

    The Human being and Fish

    by 420 Boylston St

    Now that's more like it! Fuck Chronicles of Ripley. DIE EGO'S DIE!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 2:44 p.m. CST

    Alien 5/Aliens 2

    by GQSioux

    Actually, there IS a way to make an Alien 5 that follows the events of the previous 4 films, yet it can also act as a direct sequel to Aliens. Why don't they pull a Terminator and create a second timeline. Why not? It'll work. In the distant future, after the events of Alien 4, "the company" begans experimenting with time travel after the failure on the Auriga. After a few failed attempts, they manage to send someone back in time, on to the Sulaco, moments before the fire that ejects the cryotubes of Ripley and the rest. His mission? collect that Alien egg and assassinate Ripley. Of course, his being onboard alters the timeline, stops the fire from happening. They can make Hicks awaken just in time to prevent Ripley's assassination. Of course, they interrogate the guy and find out who he is, how he is a company man from the future, what his mission is. This company man explains to Ripley the events of Alien 3-4, what she was supposed to have done and why they sent him back to kill her. The rest writes itself, and all the fanboys get their way. No stupid "it was a dream" write off AND you get a direct sequel to Aliens.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 3:07 p.m. CST

    From LV-426 With Love

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    starring a CGI'd Connery going all romantic on Sigourney.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 3:22 p.m. CST

    Alien Pure Breed

    by giger167

    I would stick with the Ripley/Alien concept for one last film in an ideal world. Working on the concept that the alien species in it's home setting is unspoiled and more dangerous in it's untainted pure breed form, this would provide the movie with more of an edge than the cross bred alien/human/dog/predator whatever species lol. Would also provide the chance for some tasty new Geiger designs and planet settings. Bringing back Scott and Weaver would give the movie a much needed budget boost and maybe set up the idea of franchise following Ripley adventures in other areas as the movie could provide much need quality closure to the Alien species. I really think the Alien concept deserves a proper send off other than the shockingly inept Alien Requiem. But they must get Geiger back in a full capacity, hire Weta to do the effects (match made in heaven methinks, love the sideshow alien head they did together it was stunning) So we need Geiger, Weta, Scott and Weaver together, on the alien home planet, finish the alien story, then they can go off on whatever Science Fiction tangent they want with the Ripley character :)

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 3:24 p.m. CST

    Alien 3. Feh

    by orcus

    So who does Orcus root for? The murderer or the rapist?

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 3:26 p.m. CST

    Alien the Professional

    by TheHumanBeingAndFish

    An alien who's an expert at slaughtering people becomes the reluctant guardian over a young facehugger, when her alien queen is murdered by corrupt NYPD officers led by Gary Oldman. She wants to et back at Gary, so he teaches her the fine tricks of the trade. In the epic finale, the two are up against the entire NYDP. Carnage ensues.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 3:29 p.m. CST

    The Name of the Alien

    by TheHumanBeingAndFish

    Someone - or something - is killing monks in a medieval monastery! The monks believe it's the devil's work, but Sean Connery knows better: one of the monks is an alien! (Oh wait, wasn't that Vincent Ward's original screenplay for Alien3?)

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 3:33 p.m. CST

    Alien Pure Breed part two lol

    by giger167

    Actually while I was thinking about it had a million ideas lol, why has the Alien homeworld thing been so hard to write a script for lol. They find the Space Jockey homeworld, discover they were a warring planet that did experiments with Alien war soldiers to perfect the perfect killing species. It all went wrong and their world was infested by the species, they try to escape and unkowingly take the species with them. The world is discovered by the company,they send a army/scientist team to get the alien dna. It all goes tits up lol. Ripley clone has been kept in a prison on earth for ten years, they take her back with a tracked out army detail to save the mission/ steal the dna and Ripley goes with the purpose of blowing up the planet, but rediscovers her humanity and tries to save the survivors, get off the planet, blow it up etc lol. The aliens should be white like worms in their pure form, and other crazy shit. That's the movie people :)

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 3:35 p.m. CST

    The did the space jockey thing with Dark Horse Comics

    by orcus

    Friggin like 10+ years ago

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 3:41 p.m. CST

    Alien 5: An Alien Harder

    by TheHumanBeingAndFish

    Following Resurrection, Ripley and Cal have arrived on Earth. They decide to have hot steamy lesbian sex. An alien joins for a threesome. The end.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 3:55 p.m. CST

    THE BEST LITTLE ALIEN HOUSE ON LV-426

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Denny Crane!!!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 4:21 p.m. CST

    In space, no one can tell you're post-menopause

    by Kankennon

    Maybe if the story is about Ripley spinning a yarn to her great-great grandchildren before sending them off on their own Aliens adventure, but certainly not one with her in the drivers seat the whole way. She needs to think of her role in the way of a brief Nemoy cameo.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 4:22 p.m. CST

    And Now for Something Completely Alien:

    by TheHumanBeingAndFish

    ... a man with an alien up his brother's nose.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 4:30 p.m. CST

    Alien3

    by Klytus_I.m_Bored

    was the first movie I saw wherein I got a blowjob in the theater. I really like that movie.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 4:31 p.m. CST

    Klytus_I.m_Bored

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    Have you heard from your Uncle Marv since?

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 4:35 p.m. CST

    Dude don't bag on my uncle

    by Klytus_I.m_Bored

    Until you've been hoovered by him. It's the sweetest taboo.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 4:36 p.m. CST

    Quit apologizing for Alien Resurrection (4)

    by ScottinDC

    How can ANYONE defend this film? This was an absolutely terrible movie...cheesy CGI, poor continuity and the worst acting in a long time (plus a retarded ending). Alien remains my favorite film of all time...but to all apologizing for Alien Rez (or saying 'it wasn't that bad'), go back to enjoying your rerun episodes of Stargate Atlantis...cuz your taste absolutely sucks.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:13 p.m. CST

    When The Hell Did I Ever Say HOSTEL Was Cutting Edge Satire?

    by LaserPants

    I said I liked it, it scared me, and that its smarter than its given credit for (especially in terms of social commentary -- the entitlement of young americans being hammered, the commodification of the human body taken to its most extreme point, capitalism gone way out of control); and I stand by these claims. You just looked over these elements, Lost_Jarv, because you didn't care for the violent exploitation elements; it sickened you so you didn't like it. Totally understandable, but I think you've dismissed it out of hand without giving it the credit it deserves. Its not a great work of art by any stretch of the imagination, but as a genre exploitation movie its really good and a lot smarter than its given credit for.<br><br>T2, on the other hand, is just a big dumb explosion of cash on the screen; indistinguishable from any Michael Bay movie.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:26 p.m. CST

    Field Of Aliens

    by ThereWolf

    Man digs up his corn and plants a crop of alien eggs.<p>If you build it, you will get cocooned.<p>Oh, well...

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:34 p.m. CST

    ScottinDC

    by caruso_stalker217

    I enjoy ALIEN RESURRECTION, though it is a shitty ALIEN movie. I don't watch those "Stargate" programs. I think some a youse have trouble with these sorts of movies. Y'all get hung up on "this movie is pissing on my blah blah" and "piss in your ear, you cunt" and the "blah blah all these guys are bald I can't tell them apart" and you can't like shut your ass for a few minutes and maybe watch a movie. <p>Not really you specifically, Mr. inDC. But there's a general whiny bitchy tone around here that gets sickening after a while. It's like some of you cocksuckers forgot how to sit down and watch a movie or something. Yeah, RESURRECTION is shit. Doesn't mean it doesn't entertain me. There's lots of good shit in there. <p>So stick THAT in your ear and piss in it.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:50 p.m. CST

    Alien IV

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    It's bad, but fun. Unlike Alien III which is just bad. <p> And I expect people to go 'oh, you're wrong', but really... no. I believe it's God-awful. And I'll continue to do so. </p>

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:52 p.m. CST

    Laserpants

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    T2 may be style over substance, but it's still a tremendous action film. <p> And Hostel was laughably bad for me. The snag with that film is we're meant to identify eventually with the Americans, but they're so fucking repugnant that you feel nothing for them. I didn't want them to get hurt, because it meant I'd have to endure them on screen. But it was on C5 late at night, so I forced myself to watch all of it. </p>

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:53 p.m. CST

    Alien In Manhattan

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    The same as Maid In Manhattan, only Ralph Fiennes gets eaten the wrong way.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 5:58 p.m. CST

    Resurrection

    by ThereWolf

    Three aliens are going stir crazy in their little cell. Two of them turn on their mate in order to spill acid on the floor and escape. Aliens aren't supposed to "fuck each other over" but fair enough, like Ripley with Alien dna, they've got a splash of human dna. Lovely, very cynical.<p>The thing is, a bit later on we've got an Alien spitting a stream of acid. I'm sure if all 3 of them had pooled their resources and spat acid at the floor it wouldn't have been necessary to 'sacrifice' one of their number.<p>And what's with Geddiman referring to "Fury 16"? Wasn't it Fury 161?

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:09 p.m. CST

    Mr. Z

    by ThereWolf

    I'm entirely the opposite. While Alien 3 has gone up slightly in my estimation over the years - particularly with the emergence of the extended cut, I still have nothing but hatred for Resurrection.<p>Michael Wincott, I like. Brad Dourif licking the glass, I like. The mutant Ripley's, I like.<p>That fucking Hybrid thing... Red Dwarf's Vindaloo Monster is more believable.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:15 p.m. CST

    Alien IV

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    Heh. Touche, sir. <p> Alien III was just... DAYUM. Bug-nasty </p>

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:18 p.m. CST

    Alien Nation

    by vaudeville villain

    ripley has to work with the newly promoted alien detective.<p> police chief played by sam jackson.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:26 p.m. CST

    Next Alien movie should be simple to make and cheap

    by andrew coleman

    Ripley much older sadly has to survive the end of an Alien invasion. Stuck in a ship or building she faces off with an Alien one on one once again. Easy, could be cheap, no crappy CGI needed.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 6:51 p.m. CST

    I Feel Ya Zeddemore

    by LaserPants

    I think HOSTEL is a "love it" (or, okay, "really like it") or "hate it"; and I understand why people hate it. I disagree, but I understand your reasoning.<br><br> But, yeah, okay, I know I'm unduly harsh on T2 (mostly because I think its funny how upset the obese virgin / geek schizophrenic set get), but I really don't think its a very good movie. Even as a turn-your-brain-off action movie, its pretty boring, and the set-pieces are super-fakey and overblown like a Michael Bay movie. Of course, T3 was like that too, but the set pieces are so nuts and overblown, and the mood so fetish-y and exploitative (hot chick robot with resizable roboboobs!) that it almost goes grindhouse; its trash, knows its trash, and has fun with it (culminating in a darker ending). T2 has pretensions of greatness going for the corny Robodaddy theme that derails any chance of taking it seriously, and then drapes this curtain of forced gravitas (especially from Butch Lesbo Mom), and deeply irritating whiny teen angst on top of that culminating in a kinda bland, but ludicrously expensive looking action movie that ruins everything awesome that the first one set up. T1, being low budget, had to work harder, had to rely much more on a good story, and is ultimately much more satisfying. It also manages to work in some great action set-pieces even with the low budget.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 7:45 p.m. CST

    Apologeez NOT ACCEPTED

    by 420 Boylston St

    How can ANYONE defend this film? This was an absolutely terrible movie...cheesy CGI, poor continuity and the worst acting in a long time (plus a retarded ending). Alien remains my favorite film of all time...but to all apologizing for Alien Rez (or saying 'it wasn't that bad'), go back to enjoying your rerun episodes of Stargate Atlantis...cuz your taste absolutely sucks. **** There should be a huge apology for Alien 3. Still the title makes zero sense which kind of explains the film itself!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 8:51 p.m. CST

    Orcus!

    by toadkillerdog

    The time traveller returns!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 11:21 p.m. CST

    VADER......WE ARE FUCKING EVERYWHERE!!

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 11:28 p.m. CST

    ALIEN 5: NUCLEAR BOOGALOO

    by BringingSexyBack

    It's the only way to be sure!!!!!!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 11:30 p.m. CST

    ALIEN VS. TERMINATOR

    by BringingSexyBack

    "ARRGH RRRAWGHHH HUURRRGGGHHHH" <p> (Translation: "I'll be back.")

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 11:31 p.m. CST

    THERE WILL BE ACID FOR BLOOD

    by BringingSexyBack

    I drink your milkshake!!! With my extending second mouth!!!!

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 11:40 p.m. CST

    "Aliens is a remake of Alien" - is it too late for this?

    by finky089

    Don't we need a M-o-M in here to start this wonderful strain of logic about how Aliens is a blatant re-tread of Alien. Come on, what's AICN without a little M-o-M inanity?

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 12:44 a.m. CST

    BOYCOTT AVATAR!! FUCK MEDIOCRITY!!

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 12:54 a.m. CST

    IRON MAIDEN IS GOD :

    by PTSDPete

    Just so it ain't clear enough yet.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 12:55 a.m. CST

    ALIEN 5 : IRON MAIDEN IS DA SHIT !

    by PTSDPete

    Iron Maiden is da shit !

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 2:24 a.m. CST

    get out Laserpants

    by Lost Jarv

    that is an outright lie. If I could be arsed I would dig out your original lengthy posts about how it was social commentary and really intelligent. But I can't. <P>And I don't hate it because of the gore, I like gore as a rule. I hate it because if you remove the torture from the film it has no reason to exist. It is pornographic, tedious, stacked full of unlikable characters, shoddy, moronic garbage. And to pretend anything else is deluded.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 2:25 a.m. CST

    finky- that wasn't M-o-M

    by Lost Jarv

    it was Nodiggity.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 3:25 a.m. CST

    AVATAR - FUCKING YOUR EYEBALLS IN 2009!!!

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    Nothing else matters!

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 3:36 a.m. CST

    ALIENS isn't a remake of ALIEN

    by caruso_stalker217

    It's a remake of THEM!

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 4:47 a.m. CST

    Motoko

    by Lost Jarv

    I actually want to slap you for this fucking annoying phrase. Not to mention the fact that you plaster it across every TB. Although Laserpants has shocking taste in film, and talks out of his arse about lots of things, I'm starting to think that he's right about you being an attention-starved, 40 year old morbidly obese, basement-dwelling virgin.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:05 a.m. CST

    furthermore,

    by Lost Jarv

    at the moment we don't know if Avatar will be fucking anything.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 5:53 a.m. CST

    No, No Jarv, Sorry, You're Wrong

    by LaserPants

    Feel free to dig it up if you must, I don't care. For the record, I said I liked it, it scared me, and that it was smarter than its given credit for; that the social commentary is there, and thats its smart, not genius, but smart enough to elevate the exploitation to some level of respectability. For some insane reason you translated this as my saying it was the greatest, most intelligent work of satire ever made. I never EVER said that. Never even came close to saying that. Truth be told, I'm sorta creeped-out by your stubborn insistence that I said things I never said. Kinda weird, man.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 6:25 a.m. CST

    Someone REALLY Wants Their Eyeballs Fucked

    by LaserPants

    That is seriously fucking weird. Oh, but for visual insanity, for "getting your eyeballs fucked", I direct you to watch any/all of Jodorowsky's, Lynch's, or, especially, Kubrick's films. In addition to having freshly fucked eyeballs, your brain will achieve mindgasm.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 6:55 a.m. CST

    Talk about putting words in mouths

    by Lost Jarv

    I said you think it's "cutting edge satire". <P>Nothing at all about it being the greatest, most intelligent work ever. The very fact that you think that exists in a film as shoddy as Hostel is the point.<P>Hostel is arguably the dumbest, least intelligent work ever, with less incisive social commentary than you find scrawled on a toilet wall is not the point. I've seen smarter social commentary in Leprechaun in Da Hood.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 6:59 a.m. CST

    Hahahahaha

    by Lost Jarv

    And I'm the dumbest poster ever. <P>That should read: <P>Hostel is arguably the dumbest, least intelligent work in the history of cinema, with less incisive social commentary than you find scrawled on a toilet wall. I've seen smarter social commentary in Leprechaun in Da Hood.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 7:15 a.m. CST

    Well, LostJarv

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    I deeply apologize for my dumb, annoying, infantile and stubborn postings about AVATAR. Right now I'm thinking of posting old dumb phrases like "denis", "tomboy beanpole", "bugnuts", "too soon" or "is cooking the books".<p>AVATAR will penetrate some seeing organs in a way that no movie ever before did.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 7:21 a.m. CST

    And I completely agree with your remarks about HOSTEL.

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    Eli Roth is a fracking hack.

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 7:29 a.m. CST

    Ridley vs Ripley

    by dj_bollocks

    meh...

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 7:54 a.m. CST

    TKD! Yes Orcus has returned

    by orcus

    But briefly. Orcus has been keeping an eye on the archives but after that last incident, Orcus is keeping his pointy eared head down, lest it gets shot off again. Or they fire up that GODDAMN hadron collider and ruin Orcus' tidy time-space continuum again :)

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 8 a.m. CST

    Orcus!

    by just pillow talk

    "The Man" just trying to keep ya down brother. Fight the power!

  • BONK BONK on the head. But really, Orcus has been wasting time playing those bullshit web games on Facebook. One Funny thing though, Harry signed Orcus on as a friend. Under Orcus' human guise of course, don't want to scare the locals

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 9:34 a.m. CST

    Ripleys panty bulge

    by pumaman

    was the best thing about the original Alien movie

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 10:36 a.m. CST

    Orcus!

    by toadkillerdog

    You have been missed my time travelling friend. I know you have evolved far beyond the needs of mere mortals, and thus your connection to this timeline is tenuous, but stay in touch 'o timeless one. And keep the pointy ears down!

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Alien: The Rob Zombie Remake ! ! !

    by The Atomic Worm

    Featuring the GOTTA-KILL-AN-ALIEN-IN-MY-PANTIES Mask !!!!

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 2:39 p.m. CST

    TKD, JPT

    by orcus

    Orcus was just saying Hola to his peeps in the Zone, just to make sure they don't think Orcus is dead and moldering somewhere. And remember there is PM..

  • Dec. 9, 2008, 2:44 p.m. CST

    Conspiracy

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Raise your (free) hand if you ever jacked it to Sigourney

  • Dec. 15, 2008, 11:11 a.m. CST

    Well if Orcus had a free hand

    by orcus

    he would raise it