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The Amorphous Mass reviews THE UNDERGROUND COMEDY MOVIE
Hey folks, Harry here. I know NADA about this whole 'lawsuit' thing mentioned here in the review (the creators of this film vs. THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY's creators), but when I get a review from an Amorphous Mass... Well, I read it, and ya know... Here's a film that I had heard not a single iota of a thing about. So, without further pussyfooting around, here ya go...
Hello Harry and all who read this:
Very few things can motivate me to shape my amorphous mass into human like
appendages, but your website gets me out of my shallow pool every day.
Having been
taught that it’s rude not to give something back when someone gives you a
nice present, I
thought I’d contribute a review/backstory of a movie that will probably slip
under most
people’s radar:
The Underground Comedy Movie
Readers who are from the L.A. area may be familiar with “The Underground
Comedy
Show,” a public-access cable show. I’ve never seen it, so I can’t compare
the series to the
movie, although they do share the same producers, Vince Offer and Jeff
Jaeger.
You may have heard about this movie because of their lawsuit pending against
Ben
Stiller and the creators of “There’s Something About Mary.” The story, as I
understand it,
is this: In late ‘96/early ‘97 Jaeger and Offer went around Hollywood,
showing their
scripts to any star who’d listen, on the off-chance they’d appear. Stiller
told the two that
he’d like to keep a copy. Overjoyed, they let him. A year or so later, they
were shocked
two find that two bits had been allegedly copped and used in “...Mary”: the
homeless guy
toting around a dead body, and an extended conversation about whether
someone will or
won’t have cookies. Not exactly the lynchpins of the film, but plagiarism is
plagiarism.
I heard about the movie through the King of All Media, Howard Stern, who’d
heard
about the lawsuit and interviewed the producers on the air. Intrigued, I
moved myself into
a vaguely human shape and shambled off, with two friends, to the good ol’
Angelika
Theater to see it’s NYC debut.
Before I review the film, I’ve got to drop some of the names who attended.
Jeff Jaeger,
one of the aforementioned producers, was giving out posters and postcards
that
cheerfully advertise “From the writer who brought you ‘There’s Something
About
Mary’s’ lawsuit... now brings you the original.” The only review mentioned
is from
DETAILS magazine, proclaiming it “unbelievably offensive!” Oooooh yeah. More
on
that in a second.
Also in attendance was “Melrose” Larry Green. Stern listeners might know him
as the
weirdo (from my college, no less!) who inherited a wad of money and now
parades
through the streets of NYC with big signs bearing slogans like “Howard Stern
is King”
and “Howard for President.” Green had apparently flown to L.A. (don’t ask me
how) to
see the movie, and liked it so much that he offered to warm up the NY crowd
at the
opening. They should’ve declined. Green was terrible, dressed like a
color-blind rich
homeless guy, his jokes drowned out by microphone feedback and an air vent,
and the
laughs were at his incompetence more than his humor. But he did take the
opportunity to
wave around a contract he had just signed with Latoya Jackson’s
ex-husband/ex-manager
to make him famous. I am not f***ing joking. Folks, if he succeeds, I am
quitting my job
to go to showbiz. I can whup him any day.... But I digress.
The movie, ah the movie. How was it? Let’s start with a visualization:
Suppose movies
came with a “taste” meter, one that you could set to any level for the
desired amount of
class and good taste. “The Ten Commandments,” for example, or “Meet John
Doe”
would be 10. “The French Connection” would be an 8. The South Park movie
would
garner a 2, perhaps 3.
Imagine if you could set that dial to negative 5.
More than any film I have ever seen (and this *includes* Rocky Horror
Picture Show)
this movie goes out of it’s way to surprise, disgust, and shock the viewer.
Imagine Larry
Flynt’s version of Monty Python and you get close. It’s arranged in skits,
somewhat
inter-related, that parody superheroes, talk shows, The Godfather, beauty,
fame, and
public access cable shows such as their own.
Now, let’s be clear: no one here will win an Oscar. The acting is spirited
and energetic,
but really bad. The special FX have been lifted from 50’s sci-fi flicks. I
don’t even think
the Academy could sit through this without ralphing. But that’s sort of the
appeal here:
you’ll laugh yourself silly, but you’ll also cringe at the heights (or more
appropriately, the
depths) to which they’ll go. Fake semen by the bucket. Decapitation of the
elderly.
Numerous bare bosoms. Giant penises. And the guest stars: Slash, of Guns ‘n’
Roses,
puts in a performance during which I’m sure he was drunk of his ass.
(Getting ready for
the GnR reunion, no doubt...) Joey Buttafuoco as a.... family man. And Gena
Lee Nolin
as... I can’t even describe it here. Kids could be reading.
But I oozed out of the theater, adrenaline pumping as though I’d ridden a
rollercoaster
twenty times. I made it! I withstood the relentless grossness! My apartment
now boasts
the movie poster, with a little addendum on the top that reads simply: I
SURVIVED. I
don’t care how you’ve steeled yourself, this movie will make you shudder;
half from
hysterical laughter, half from horror. (Dig the alliteration.) Those who
survive will be an
elite fraternity, who have taken the raunchiest, most disgusting comedy in
human history
and conquered it.
To make a long story short (too late), every critic across the known galaxy
will hate it.
And with good reason: it’s terrible. But the reverse view is that these guys
don’t give two
hoots about the review, or the box office: they’re out to grab you, yes YOU,
specifically,
and test your limits. I nearly peed from laughing, died of embarrassment,
and fled in
terror. Any movie that can do that to me is OK in my book.
I survived. Can you?
Phreeform the Amorphous Mass
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+ Expand All
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Wow; after that review, I have nothing to say.
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Okay, so it's a gross-out flick. Big damn deal...go rent Pink Flamingos.
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I'm in total agreement with "The Load" on this review being a plant. However, if it's outrageous movie you want go see: Pink Flamingoes, Holy Mountain, and Sweet Movie(giant penises huh? Have you ever seen a gold plated one?). There are more out there but, some cross the line over into other genres(god knows Holy Mountain does).
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Why is it that so much sketch comedy is so bad? Why do so many groups feel like they need to resort to potty humor? Where are The Kids In The Hall? SNL is falling apart (even though many of the performers are very funny and talented, the writing, to quote Mike Meyers' Scotsman character, "Is CRAP!") If someone wants to give money to a talented group of sketch comics, they should give it to a group called, THE 3RD FLOOR. They perform out of Portland, Oregon. I live in Seattle and I've made the trek to see their last several shows. They are soooo funny and very original and bizarre. I don't know if they have further ambitions, but they should. They have a website, but I don't remember the address. But I digress. Lorne Michaels please stop making bad sketch comedy movies. Please. Please. Please. I hear that there's a movie in the works based on Tim Meadows' Ladies Man character. Ugh. Enough. I thought Michaels had hit the bottom of the barrell with It's Pat! and Night At The Roxbury. Guess I'm wrong. Why not make a movie like Kids In The Hall, or Monty Python made, where they take the entire SNL cast and maybe some prominant alumni and make a movie from an original script? Alright, I'm done bitching now.
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They should give the guys from "Mr.Show" and "Upright Citizens Brigade" movie deals. Guarantee they'll do something eight hundred times smarter and funnier than most of the other crap out there today.
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For that matter, what the hell happened to The State? Why was that show black-balled out of town?
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opening night of The Phantom Menace these two guys (producers)were walking up and down the line outside of mann's with a mini-player system getting people to watch their trailer. While the trailer looked more retarded than Corky in a McDonalds outfit, the guys showing it had that really cool LA hair. Now heres an interesting point-- their approach to get us to watch the trailer and their reaction to our viewing told me ten-fold more about what the movie was going to be like than the trailer did. First of all they are walking down the line "Scouting" which people look cool enough to show the thing to. So here they slide on up, full on jet-rag vintage leather jacket on one with the longer "Leo" hair who is hanging back smoking-- probabley a dunlap or those wack-ass too short Canadian imports-- and the "more charming" of the two, wearing a sweater from Politix and bitting the hair from several guest stars on Melrose Place...well he trys turning on the charm-- "Hey, you guys want to see a crazy fucking comedy coming out soon? Man this movie is out of control!!!" It was like watching some fucking jack-ass jock who's too dumb to know he's a moron, try out for MTV's ROAD RULES. So me and my girl say yes-- although she seemed more enthused than I (probabley falling victim to the charisma of his hair-- which coincidentaly I believer super cuts now offcially lists on its menu at all their LA locations. It's horriying when Grips and electrictions start having the same hair cut as lead actors...BRING BACK THE MULLETS!!!!) And as the trailer is playing this fucking Hollywood Athletic club yahoo is gushing over the thing saying "Yeah, man Slash is in it and he's fucking CRAZY!" Meanwhile its a shot of slash sitting there like he's waiting for the bus. "And Joey Buttafuco MAN!" God this guy was pleased with his little creation. At this point you recognized the star of the movie was the guy hanging back with the Leo haircut. Who the whole time had been discreetly checking out our reactions with feigned indifference. the next group that watched the trailer commented on that, and the guy did his patented head nod. But my girl and I were cool enough to recognize his obvious need for self affirmation so we just stared blankly at the crap in front of us. I've been more entertained walking down the wallpaper section at walmart. But man this little bastard is selling it hard and he ends it with "So its totally underground and there's a screening this weekend that you guys should check out!!!" And my girl and I are like "Uh...No!" And so then his attitude totally shifts and he slaps pulls the view screen from our eyes and moves down the line to a group of girls who fawn over his folicals. So anyways the point of this is at that moment I really wanted to say to the guy-- "Listen you fucking Yard-Ape-- that slick-rick "I'm gonna Sex you up" shit might fly over a couple of Cosmopolitans and Ruffies at Dublins on Friday night, and it may get you laid by strippers from the Body Shop in between their shifts and checking in on their three year kids...And hell yeah you were smooth enough to 'schmooze" Joey Buttafuco...but you appear to have ab-so-fucking-lute-ly no talent at all and I resent you trying to suck up to me because I look part of the clique. I don't care how many biotchees you got swinging from your sack-- that does not mean you are cool, or funny or worth a moment of my time. I hope you and your CRAZY fucking film destroy your carefully constructed ego and leads down a path that ends up with you delivering chinese food during the week and a little gay porn on the weekend to pay the bills for fluff and fold. You got no skills-- no steilz-- no game. All you got are my nutz on your chin telling you to shave next time. Now get the fuck out of here..." So I didn't say that and I wish I had and so now that they have tried to drum up a little attention here, I thought I 'd take the opportunity to respond. On a postive note-- I did like their hair.
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Pardon my French, but this movie sounds fucking lame. South Park was tasteless, but the good kind of tasteless, like Mel-Brooks-on-a-good-day tasteless. It contained a bracing amount of pointed satire, for one thing--even the Saddam-Satan relationship, while obviously played for cheap laughs, seemed to be a riff on new-age psychobabble (Satan reading the Mars/Venus book, for example). I have virtually no problem with South Park (I laughed my ass off and immediately ran out and bought the soundtrack), except the possibility that it will inspire imitators like these retards who have not even the small amount of wit that Parker and Stone have. BTW, what *did* happen to The State? Hands down the best sketch comedy since Python, next to Kids in the Hall. Why did the show get cancelled?? Why???
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If you want to hear the whole sad David-Vs-Goliath-except-that-David-gets-cancelled story, check out this website. It's kept up by members of The State and will give you the lowdown on what they're all doing. http://members.aol.com/thestate/index.htm --- and, if you're interesting in learning more about the Portland sketch group I mentioned before, The 3rd Floor, I found their website address. Easily enough it is: www.the3rdfloor.com
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I live in LA and saw this movie. First I need to say I'm surprised by all the people who hate this movie already without seeing it. This movie was playing in LA during the weekend at midnight showings so me and a director went to see it because we were curious about the project such as to how these guys came up with the money to make it and what kind of quality the film was. I can not even begin to tell you what a lame piece of shit this was. There were about twenty people in the audience of which ten walked out within the first thirty minutes. I forced myself to watch it. No matter what the director tries to tell you this is not a movie that is "so bad it's good" The director (yes the one with the long hair) stars in almost every skit as a different character and is so bad, unfunny, untalented and clueless you want to hurt him. This is nothing but an ego trip for the director who somehow got some money to rent a camera and put this crap up. Imagine giving a camcorder to some loser who thinks he is the life of the party and telling him to film some skits and that is this movie. Yes it is vulgar, offensive, and disgusting but not in a funny way. The first thirty minutes was a skit to spoof Batman except this superhero was dressed like a baseball player and hit people with his bat. Instead of the joker the vilain was the rhymer. The director thinks by just showing you sperm, shit or a dead body that you will either be shocked or die laughing. This was the level of the writing throughout the whole film. Joey Buttafuco was in the movie for five minutes and didn't do anything, Gena Lee Nolin dressed up like Marilyn Monroe for nothing. Slash did seem drunk (which was kind of funny)as he hosted a lame sketch about the Miss Homeless Pagent. I've never written to this site before but felt the need to tell you to keep away from this film. I sincerely believe the initial posting by amaphous mass is a plant by these guys. And as far as them getting ripped off by There's Something About Mary, there is no way anyone would steal any idea from these hollywood wannabees. They are just trying to drum up interest in their stupid movie.
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Hey, when is this movie coming to L.A.? What channel is the show on? Sounds like a possible neo-cult movie, huh? Anyway, anyone know if there is any truth to the rumor going around that the Upright Citizens Brigade (from Comedy Central) are going to make a indie movie? That would be as fun as a Lynard Skynard 3rd Reunion concert!!!
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While I have no interest in writing about this film, I noticed a few people asking what happened to The State. Well, the reason it left MTV's roster was that it had been picked up by one of the networks, (CBS I believe but don't quote me on that.) Well, the network bigwigs in their infinite wisdom decided to fund a huge pilot to grab all the old fans a make some new ones. Oops, I guess they forgot to advertise it, because no I've ever heard of knew it was on. I myself found out about it the next damn day. And of course if no one watches a pilot, a show doesn't get picked up and the cast goes and does Viva Variety.
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I was going to comment on the film, but Nestle did it for me, hit it right on the nose. I saw this "film" at the IFFM in New York, and met the "film" makers. Already they were ranting how they had been ripped off by Something About Mary. Shortly after I returned to L.A. I read where they had filed suit because Ben Stiller had their script, therefore, in their minds, they had been ripped off. Note to the young wannabes: Ben Stiller did not write the movie. He did not direct the movie. He was hired as an actor. You have no case. You now have no career, assuming you would have had one before filing this ridiculous lawsuit, which, of course, you wouldn't, so you may was well go out in a blaze of glory, at least in your own minds.
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yeah, this was written by someone involved. proof is in the fact that he mentioned that he heard about the movie on Howard Stern..well not really...i heard the show when they were talking about this..and they called up the show and all howard had to talk about was how incredibly bad the movie must be from the reviews..not just bad reviews, but horrible, horrible, horrible reviews about how this movie lacked any redeeming qualities. now i can see how that might make someone interested (i must admit, i curious to see how bad this movie really is...but i wont go see it) but one would think they might have mentioned that if they really "heard about this movie on Howard Stern".
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