It's 9:00 PM on a Tuesday evening, and there's a party going on at the Hollywood nightclub Element. It's in honor of the bells-and-whistles-laden Blu-ray release of HELLBOY II. People are having a good time. Jeffrey Tambor is there. But the film's director isn't celebrating. No, he's hunkered down like a mob capo in a harshly-lit back room, graciously talking to journalists who're on a fishing expedition for HOBBIT news (when everyone knows there's precious little to report).

This is what Guillermo del Toro does better than any other director working today. Whereas most filmmakers would probably sequester themselves in a VIP area and prod The Tambor for MR. MOM anecdotes, del Toro would rather sit in an uncomfortable metal folding chair in a storage room and talk to internet journalists? Why? Because they're the link to his fan base, and the fans are a huge part of the reason he's directing THE HOBBIT (well, that and the fact that he's a fucking visionary). Not that del Toro needs a link: he was a steady presence on the official HELLBOY II message board all the way up to the release of the movie, and he'll be participating in a BD-Live chat on November 23rd (more on that here). Sometimes, I feel like we're just getting in the way. But until del Toro cuts out the middle man and becomes his own press agent, we'll be there to pester him about the fifty-seven projects he has in development (e.g. FRANKENSTEIN, DR. JEKYLL & MR. HYDE, SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVE, DROOD, HELLBOY III and AT THE MOUNTAINS OF MADNESS).

Before I got my audience with del Toro, I spent a little time chatting up the always pleasant Doug Jones, who reiterated that he will not be King Thranduil in THE HOBBIT. Obviously, there will be a role for him in the film, but, in his words, you can definitely cross Thranduil off the list. As for whether he'll be del Toro's Frankenstein, Jones is keeping that possibility on the "happy shelf" for now (though he's very excited about bringing to life the Bernie Wrightson rendering that is del Toro's inspiration for this project).

A few minutes later, I was ushered into del Toro's extravagant, 6x8 quarters. We started talking right away, so I missed the opening thirty seconds or so, which was mostly del Toro raving about the HELLBOY II Blu-ray (he'd presided over a demonstration of the special features earlier, and was justifiably proud of what they'd accomplished). From there, we got right into his upcoming projects, how he's going to fit them in with his obligations to Cha Cha Cha (the production shingle he recently formed with buddies Alfonso Cuaron and Alejandro González Iñárritu), and the likelihood of AT THE MOUNTAINS OF MADNESS (have no doubt: he's firmly committed to making a huge-scale Lovecraft movie).

And I guess we talked about THE HOBBIT, too.

Guillermo del Toro: Did you have a chance to play with the Blu-ray?

Mr. Beaks: Not yet. Truth be told, I don't have a Blu-ray player yet. I'll get a Playstation 3 one of these days.

Del Toro: You *have* to.

Beaks: But I'm afraid to. I'm already busy enough.

Del Toro: The Playstation 3 is, in my mind, a cornerstone to the future of entertainment. I'm a huge fan.

How do you have time for Playstation 3?

Del Toro: Because I have a twelve-year-old daughter. (Laughs) And she's a massive Sonic the Hedgehog fan. She loves all of the platforms: she loves Wii. It's a great advantage. She doesn't play the hard-core horror stuff, but I do.

Now that it's really happening for you, what with THE HOBBIT coming along, you've taken the opportunity to map out this plan, this master list of projects that you want to make. It's very ambitious and, seemingly, very time consuming. How will you be able to integrate all of this work with whatever it is you're going to do for Cha Cha Cha?

Del Toro: That's a very good question, and the reality is very different than the theory. In theory, all of these things are happening at the same time. When you announce them, people say, "Oh, my god, he is doing all of these things!" But in reality, they're not all happening at the same time. In Cha Cha Cha, we are launching our first production in December in Mexico. It's going to open theatrically. And at the same time, two weeks ago, Alejandro [González Iñárritu] started shooting his new feature [BIUTIFUL], which we are producing. Alfonso [Cuaron] is writing his feature for Cha Cha Cha. He's going to start shooting soon enough, but I can't announce it until he allows me. And I have my own feature for Cha Cha Cha, which I cannot announce until they allow me to.

But they're not happening at the same time. I don't want to shoot my feature until after THE HOBBIT. Alejandro will be in postproduction when I'm doing preproduction on THE HOBBIT. But I will still have time to go to his opening. So all of these things can be concurrent and be manageable as long as you work ten hours a day. (Laughs) Which I do.

Beaks: So it's compartmentalization? And a realization that "I'm only going around once, so I'm going to make sure that I get to as many of these as possible"?

Del Toro: It is. I made these a long time ago with the realization that, like everyone else, even if I get to be an obsessive workaholic, I will be able to achieve only a third of what I wanted to. I know that. That's a fact. But the other fact is that if you are organized, if you are... I don't want to say "disciplined" because I don't think I'm disciplined. I'm "obsessive". And if you are obsessive and you are dedicated to it, you can achieve a lot of stuff faster than you think. I mean, there are big gaps in my life. Between CRONOS and MIMIC, there are six years. Between MIMIC and THE DEVIL'S BACKBONE, there are four years. It's not like I've been working all the time. And I really think that I've found a way to get two or three things going at the same time early on. Because I realized if you don't, those gaps happen. People think, "Oh, if you have four things going, only one will happen. If you're lucky."

Beaks: But THE HOBBIT is such a huge undertaking. It's going to consume several years of your career--

Del Toro: But I know directorially, while I'm doing THE HOBBIT, that I will not take anything else. I will not hurry up and shoot a pilot. I will not hurry up and shoot a Spanish-language movie. It's going to be three-and-a-half or four solid years dedicated to THE HOBBIT.

Beaks: But when you come out on the end, maybe you'll need some time off? Perhaps you'll need to recharge your batteries?

Del Toro: I don't need time off. I don't need to recharge. I'm a perpetual working mold. I have a hard time resting. I really do. I don't like time down. Time down is hard work. Work is fun. I think Robert Rodriguez said it well. They asked him, "When are you going to rest?" And he said, "This is how I rest: making movies."

Beaks: Further to that, I think James Cameron once said, "Sleep is a waste of time."

Del Toro: (Laughs) I believe it of him. But it's the same thing with me: hard work is when you don't have that horizon. I think that would be hard; that's what I find frustrating. When you have a horizon, it's great.

Beaks: So once you do come through on the other side of THE HOBBIT, is AT THE MOUNTAINS OF MADNESS still a priority?

Del Toro: One hundred percent. We are developing actively the maquettes, the puppets and the R&D for the digital effects. Part of my deal with Universal is that I will be there somewhat permanently for the live-action, but in exchange I would love to get R&D money to solve the technical problems on AT THE MOUNTAINS OF MADNESS. We are developing tools that are going to be very unprecedented.

Beaks: And then you'll have made so much money with THE HOBBIT that they won't be able to fuck with you. You'll be able to make an H.P. Lovecraft movie on a massive scale.

Del Toro: I must tell you, there wouldn't be a better [outcome] than that. If it happens that way, I will be a very happy man. I think that Lovecraft needs to be given the A-plus treatment. What he is in fiction in my mind... he's the highest caliber of fiction. And he needs to be on film. And so far the only properties that are... not Lovecraft but Lovecraftian and A-plus movies are ALIEN by Ridley Scott and THE THING by John Carpenter. Even though those aren't Lovecraft, they're very Lovecraftian.

Beaks: Hey, I love DIE, MONSTER, DIE.

Del Toro: That is a great "B" movie. And I'm a massive fan of RE-ANIMATOR. But the cosmic side of Lovecraft needs a big budget.

And that's eight minutes with Guillermo del Toro.

If you've got one of them Blu-ray gizmos, I'd highly recommend picking up HELLBOY II. A great deal of thought and care has gone into the special features. This isn't just a crude agglomeration of EPK footage, production sketches and unmoderated commentaries; instead, it feels like it's been put together by a fan for fans. I think you'll dig it.

Faithfully submitted,

Mr. Beaks

P.S. Though I had to fight my way through a five-deep ring of supermodels to get to him, I did speak to Jeffrey Tambor briefly, and he did confirm that Mitchell Hurwitz is definitely making ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT: THE MOTION PICTURE (Collider got him on video). But you already knew that, right?