Cool News
Ridley Scott To Direct MONOPOLY Movie!!
I am – Hercules!!
Ridley Scott will direct “Monopoly,” based on the Parker Bros. board game, for Universal.
Screenwriter on the project is Pamela Pettler (“Corpse Bride,” “Monster House”).
From The Hollywood Reporter:
Ridley Scott, who has been attached as a producer on "Monopoly" and has been mentioned as a possible director, is now officially attached to helm the project, with an eye toward giving it a futuristic sheen along the lines of his iconic "Blade Runner."
Find all of The Hollywood Reporter’s story on the matter here.
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...tight?
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i think we've found the running gag of this thread
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WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?
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first, it's November!second, they have legitimate quotes!third, I want to suck on a shotgun!
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.....seriously, is this a fucking joke?
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That announcement of Ridley Scott returning to SF a while back was about this? This?!
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i used to lose those balls
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but only if he can get Russel Crowe to play the shoe.
Oh, and my 3rd grade History teacher as the Monopoly Man. -
Nov 12, 2008 12:29:02 AM CST
Isn't Monopoly what everyone does when they're out of ideas?
by brandloyalist
Ridley Scott?!
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Harrison Ford is attached to play Baltic Avenue. F this in the A.
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Christ. A Monopoly movie??? Directed by Ridley Fucking Scott??? I feel like I just took a hit of mugwump jizm.
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..will write and direct Boggle
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. . . Dragging on until the winner is eventually crowned merely because he/she is the last player to give up? If not, then it simply isn't Monopoly.
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You seriously had me going there!
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Nov 12, 2008 12:32:40 AM CST
Tony Scott to Direct "BATTLESHIP" with Sean Connery and Alec Bal
by thecomedian
...Oh wait.
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..to do Jenga (from a screenplay by Charles Kaufman)
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Do Not Pass Go,motherfucker
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Damn paint-huffing done killed ma brain cells!
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That would be fucking awesome.
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Wrote that as a joke, but it actually seems real.
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enough!!
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...oh wait...
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haw haw haw
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Also, why?
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I picture myself masturbating all over the place in the theater.
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..a live action Simon film
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huh?
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Nov 12, 2008 12:41:58 AM CST
Lars Von Trier Plays Charade at a Party With Friends
by chaplinatemyshoe
...no special lighting or sets. A cute, ruddy redheaded actress as one of the charade players. She gets raped at the end. America is shown as evil. It takes home multiple awards at Cannes.
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Operation..music by John Carpenter
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You'll never guess what happens!
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Three times now. Some would say four.
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..The Game of Life..
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Just you wait and see!
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Tarantino to direct Trivial Pursuit!David Lynch to direct Cranium!Clint Eastwood to direct Settlers of Catan!John Waters to direct Hairspray: The Movie Musical Movie Boardgame Movie!Penn and Teller to direct Bullshit!!Zombie Michael Crichton to direct Operation!Friedberg and Seltzer to direct Pogs!
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Nov 12, 2008 12:47:04 AM CST
Christopher Nolan writes and directs "Risk: Roll to Arms"...
by hoorah24
...starring Christian Bale as the guilt ridden Purple Army General, who is psychologically distraught over the loss of his platoon and becomes obsessed with vanquishing the chaotic and ruthless Red Side Lieutenant responsible for the death of his men, played by Guy Pearce. Also starring Danny Devito as the emotionally complex Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte.
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"I think I'll go with Monopoly!" - Ridley Scott
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I don't think I'm ever seeing another movie ever again.
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Oh wait
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when he was attached as the producer. That said, the director/board game jokes seem to be better this time around.
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"In 2010...YOU'LL get caught up in the....
Crossfire." -
THIS IS KAMCHAKA!!!!!!!!!!!
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has a Rock 'em -Sock 'em project scheduled
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I mean I don't even know which direction anybody can take a movie based off Monopoly. This could end up being Super Mario Bros movie bad.
I'm guessing this will be a 3 hour movie with no ending because people will just get bored and put the game away. -
Operation.
"Don't touch the sides!!!" -
Kenneth Branagh to direct Battleship. The Coen Brothers to direct Loaded Questions. Zack Snyder to direct Tetris: The Movie, wherein certain parts will be sped up or slowed down as the game permits, everyone yells all the time and in the end, Dr. Manhattan is manipulated into rigging the game results so humanity hates him.
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Nov 12, 2008 12:53:57 AM CST
Alfred Hitchcock's secret lost cut of Stratego to be released
by jimmay
As well as Orson Welle's Candyland.
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The trap violently mutilates the mouse.
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i thought it was April 1st when i read that headline!! Really? A monopoly movie ? Directed by Ridley Scott? Has the world gone insane?
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The trap violently mutilates the mouse.
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You know, because he's Chinese and everything.
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In a dark house. In a dark place. A trust of silence. Tonight, brother and sister stand as one. "Let's move!" Don't Stop. Don't Look. Don't..... Wake Daddy. Film not yet rated.
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A sample of the dialogue: "You've triumphed by placing your pieces in such a way that they form an consecutive, unbroken line of four in a diagonal pattern, much like we all yearn for personal connection...pretty sneaky sis."
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Coming soon.
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Balls pop out of his mouth.
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I'd have to think that Ridley Scott probably has a ton of projects he could attach himself to and he chose this?
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Dear Lord, Ridley! WTF? You know, you can so "NO!" to a project every once in awhile, right?Boy, I sure do hope that Park Place has a "futuristic sheen"!
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The first movie in this talkback that you KNOW you actually want to see.
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Bloody typos.
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Bwa-ha-ha.
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"You remove one piece, chaos hapens. But it all will eventually fall into place, you'll see, I'll show ya."
SUMMER 2010 -
I know I have, and this seems like a fucking killer idea.
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Along with Batman suing Chris Nolan. One week with a black president and the world goes mad.
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An odyssey through a Los Angeles where no one is who they seem, and only one man has the winning hand.
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Joe Mantegna has already been cast.
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You know it makes sense.
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Sorry, just had to try one.
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That may not be far from the truth! And recent developments show that Todd Field is now writing and directing BLOOD MERIDIAN. So, Ridley is no longer involved.
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Nov 12, 2008 1:06:01 AM CST
David Cronenberg's DON'T BREAK THE ICE, starring Christopher Wal
by johnny smith
In 2011, the ice...is gonna break!
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Dammit, that would have been hilarious otherwise.
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And used the black/white motif! Argh!
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Sample Dialogue: "Wait, so the point of everything is to try to condense all of our percieved definitions of certain things into a couple of backboard marker drawings. Well, if you're going by that logic, I can define the meaning of life as a whale fucking a steamliner along the red sea. Awesome."
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Nov 12, 2008 1:08:40 AM CST
So will there be different international versions of this film,
by paul t. ryan
Just putting it out there!
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Oh right, that was Pearl Harbor.
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with whimsical, tinkling music from Dann Elfman
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Actually, two people have done that already. And this is way too much fun, and I know I should be sleeping...
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Using the same light and sound effects from IRREVERSIBLE, of course.
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is they actually made a clue the movie directed by Jonathan Lynn. Damn, I only read the TB title headings i didn't know i was 89th person to make an operation joke.
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It writes itself really.
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that will fuck you up
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Are you ready to go down the rabbit hole? 2010.
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Starring Shia LaBouf as the Minesweeper.
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A remake of the 80s movie based on the videogame, new property is said to be based on a harder R take from a graphic novel by Frank Miller, which update Clue with such dialogue as "The wrench. Col. Mustard. It made sense. Made sense. One swing. And it was easy. He'd never see her goddamn thighs again."
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And what about those stupid ass youtube videos all the time. Is this supposed to be funny? Does anybody ever watch one of those?
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ZOMG! It was the dud the whole time?!
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to focus on a younger, more adventurous group of Whammies.
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...oh wait...
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Yep, that one was real.
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...write the script for MASH - Mansion, Apartment, Shack, House. Starring her, and one of the following: you, Bobby, Tommy or Davey.
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I'm just sayin'.
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DRAW FOUR MOTHERFUCKER!
oh, and RED! -
Or was that made already?
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only it's an island off of New York, but it's called "New Puerto Rico"
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Nov 12, 2008 1:16:39 AM CST
Guillermo Del Toro's 3D "Pinata" - updated for the middle ages
by drturing
Where the Pinata will be full of flesh eating pixies
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It's reaaaaaallly fucked up.
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Oh shit, that's not even funny
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I've been a huge fan of Ridley Scott for years, but damn is it difficult to get excited about the man's work nowadays. I even kind of like Body of Lies, but that was mostly due to DiCaprio, Crowe, and Strong, whose performances saved the movie for me. But I'm not a big fan of American Gangster or A Good Year or Kingdom of Heaven. The problem I'm finding with his work lately is that it feels like he's phoning it in. We know he can shoot high-octane, epic action sequences in his sleep and that's nice and all, but the man who made Alien and Blade Runner feels so far away to me.As for this project, I heard him spout off about this potential project a while ago and I really hoped it would go away. Now he's directing the motherfucker?! Oh, how the great one has fallen. I still have love for Ridley and I want to see him return to form, but this project does not give me hope. Though the addition of Pettler as screenwriter might sorta help.In the end, the only good to come out of this so far is all the joke projects talkbackers have come up with. I love the crazy idea of PTA's Scrabble. At least that's worth a laugh.
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CHOKE ON 'EM! Bzzzzzzzzt
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"What is it Rachel?"
"If these figures are right, the rate in which our pants will be filled with ants is exponential."
"By God." -
this means that the returns on body of lies means ridley scott's shitty robin hood movie is on ice. who the fuck wants to see fat russell crowe as a hero any longer.
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Bryan Singer just dropped out of "Heroscape" - Brett Ratner to pick up directing duties!!!
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Dare to cross. 2010.
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Wait, that's not funny.
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Yes, another British crime caper.
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AND YOU'RE STILL NOT HAVING ANY FUN!
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Everyone starts out equal, lives and works, but in the end one person end up with all the money and everyone else is broke and driven away. Isn't that what Karl Marx claimed was the flaw with capitalism? Sort of ironic.
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He promises it to be a real "spook-a-blast."
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...mmm....wheat fields....
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Ridley Scott should have directed a 3+ hour "Twilight Imperium" film and then retired from film making.
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Obvious-but-funny! Everyone working together for a change to make a bunch of jokes. Take a bow, movie nerds.
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With an all-star cast of dice-throwers. Clooney, Pitt and Damon will star as well as exectutive-produce.
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Shit, I'm running out of good ones.
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Carcassonne, in 3D no less.
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Nov 12, 2008 1:26:58 AM CST
Peter Jackson to direct MAGIC: THE GATHERING
by second cousin of phartegod
yeah?
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Nov 12, 2008 1:27:30 AM CST
THAT WOODEN MAZE BOARD THAT YOU TILT TO KEEP THE METAL BALL FROM
by boogalooshrimp
RATED "R"
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Nov 12, 2008 1:27:34 AM CST
Some of you are being funny, but they *are* making more boardgam
by dreamwriter
"Universal is working with Hasbro on several projects as part of a long-term development deal. Platinum Dunes is producing its feature adaptation of "Ouija Board," while the maritime classic "Battleship" is also in development."
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I completely agree. In my opinion, the funny comes more from the fact that every pours in and follows the trend instantly - more so than the jokes we come up with. (Although, there are a hell of a lot of gems in this talkback) AICN memes are one of my guiltiest pleasures.
Frank Capra to direct Monopoly: Bedford Falls Edition. The board also flips over for a Pottersville version. -
David X. Cohen has decided to go hunting.
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From the acclaimed director of MEMENTO comes a puzzling tale of putting the letters together!
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to bring you Mr. Potato Head!!!!
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Now with Don Cheadle as Captain Sisko and Michael Emerson as Q.
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while film Hop Scotch 3:Battle Royal
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My brain just officially melted. I guess Clue was just ahead of it's time. Ahem.
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Starring Traci Lords
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This summer, see if you can discover the identity of the...ASSASSIN.
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with Vin Diesel as "The Slammer."
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Before The Last Wave takes you to The Far Side of the World, you must be...CALLED TO ARMS.
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...if he does 'Monopoly' instead of 'Forever War' I'm going to fly back to the US and punch his lights out.
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A dark comedy with an all-star cast playing exaggerated versions of themselves.
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was directing Million Dollar Baby 2: Rock'em Sock'em Robots?
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It'll be about globalization, and it'll probably be be a pretty brutal look at that future. Bring it!
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It doesn't matter what the movie's based on. A good movie can be made of anything.
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"Playing with clothes-pins and spare tires in my youth"...preferably more elegantly titled.
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the movie cuts to the 3 red lights of death after 80 minutes.
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Nov 12, 2008 1:44:07 AM CST
Oliver Stone directs Pin the Tail on the Donkey...while drunk.
by johnny smith
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Nov 12, 2008 1:50:05 AM CST
OK, well, assuming for a moment that this is serious ...
by thehumanbeingandfish
... I'd be seriously interested. If Ridley Scott goes back to Blade Runner-like science fiction, I'm definitely interested. Regardless of what the inspiration is. Oh well.
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After Judd Apatow's Imaginiff - in which Jason Segel, Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen, Jay Baruchel, and Jonah Hill all sit around and rip of each other.
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... Really was too much to ask for, wasn't it?
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Starring Sly Stalone
"UHEY, HOOAAALD UOOOON!!!!!! LITTLE MUOONKAAY!!!!!!"
ok I'm done. -
Has it come to this? Really? I've been busting my ass through Hollywood with a fucking script that many have considered GREAT and a completely entertaining, original, geeky, money-making fantasy for a few years now and THIS gets made?!
I'm a step away from saying "fuck you" to Hollywood at this point. It's one thing to bitch about re-makes but it's another fucking ballgame when it comes to suits (and an A-list director) saying yes to a BOARD GAME. -
WHY!?
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In all seriousness... wtf? this shit for real?
And what's with the Pacman clip? I'd rather see Scott's take on that one haha -
Seriously? Wow.
Also, if they keep the Monopoly man's character design exactly how it is in the boardgame, I'm all for it... maybe? -
Monopoly Runner
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directed by Quinten Tarentino. Hey, if this isn't a joke at least it's original and not a remake!! Still a fucking hilarious story headline none the less.
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taboo!
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"steamier than 'lust, caution'"
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in the right hands.
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oh its true.
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To star in 'Go Fish'.
In truth, I have a lot of respect for the Great Scott, but even he has his share of stinkers. This, however, will be his greatest achievement. -
its a musical of course
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i'm cringing at my own jokes. time for bed.
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if ratners not directing this im not seeing it. *folds arms, holds breath.*
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starring Michael Jackson and Jayden Smith
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This is one of those ideas that doesn't really make any sense. I doubt this will ever see release and if it does I won't be wasting my money on it.
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again.
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chew on that
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tentative release date of 2026
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Aw, wow...this reminds me of when I was a kid and I first tuned into this on Saturday Morning. Sixty seconds later, I tuned out. "What a pandering, badly animated, retarded piece of shit," I said (or the eleven-year-old equivalent) and never watched it again.
Thanks, AICN, for that trip down memory lane! -
What a twist!
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I'm assuming this might be kinda like Jumanji... where these people are actualy playing a board game that affects real life... so basically this is going to be a docu drama on what Wall Street was really doing when the current financial crisis hit the US and subsequently the world thus opening the doors to President Obama. I say we call it 'Obamopoly.'
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AICN should consider starting a sister site, What The Fuck Are They Thinking News (WTFATTN).
Right now, some poor fuck is wasting dozens of hours of his life preparing concept art of what the little Monopoly guy might look like in real life. It makes me want to cry. -
It was just better than regular edition.
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No way he can mess that one up. Its pure gold.
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this movie going to do the same? Hours and hours of monetary hijinks? I can't contain my excitement. Oh wait...yes I can, zzzzzzzzzz.
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Sam Peckinpah's Ludo was pretty good, as far as I remember.
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Those two women were the inspiration for many a masturbatory fantasy, methinks. Sure were for me.
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This is going to be great! but I've thought of an even bigger and better idea!!! why not make a boardgame from a movie!!! you see what i did there? i switched it around! ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA gunshot
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Nov 12, 2008 3:49:03 AM CST
This better not interfere with RS's plans to do The Forever War
by midnightxpress
That is all...
(Sharon Stone as the old Boot, obvious casting I know, but...) -
One black knight will rise to overthrow his white oppressors! CHECKMATE BIIIAYYAAATCCHH!!!
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with Bruce Campbell in dual roles as the hilariously inappropriate dice - you don't wanna be around when someone rolls a double!
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Nov 12, 2008 3:51:52 AM CST
Ridley Scotts' PAPER, ROCK, SCISSORS
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
A Monopoly movie will be the same as the game. Everyone will get fucking bored and quit. Five words the will never come out of my mouth... "A ticket for Monopoly, please."
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You're giving them ideas. For real.
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as the Monopoly Guy!!!! Seriously , what the hell can you possibly do with this as a film? Only thing I can think of is like the movie Wall Street , but set in the Monopoly neigborhood or someth..... no this is fucking the moist batshit insane thing I could have ever read. Literally. The only thing crazier would be like " Martin Scorcese to direct Tele Tubbies film!" I dunno , that actually sounds more logical than Ridley Scott's Monopoly!! It just fills me with a stupid kind of glee due to it's sheer lunacy ! ( the funniest thing is , when I read the headline i thought it was gonna be a critical look at the bailout and the financial "geniuses" who screwed everything up. and the I read" based on the Parker Brothers Board game" and I just almost pooped myself!) I hope this is as goofy as it sounds !
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sound like a goofier idea than the Bullwinkle movie? I am sorry to keep rambling about this , but it is just so damn funny and bizarre!!! It's like I woke up in some kind of not quite right land of silly wackiness!!!
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write, direct and star in SOLITAIRE.
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The Federal Reserve says "Paper is paper". Lehman Brothers bought by Parker's. Ridley lets Tony shoot the dice from all conceivable angles at once. Utilities surge!
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(thisfilmisnotyetrated)
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I was hoping this project was going to get buried after the Scott anounced he was adapting the seminal 'Forever Wars'. Who the fuck want's to see a film based on Monopoly?!
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Not just a fucking word ffs.
If Ridley is going to direct this then we can assume he's gave up. -
best board game movie EVER!!!
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it would still rock
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by Iain Banks. the Steep approach to garbadale. This is the synopsis.
The Wopuld family built its fortune on a board game called Empire! - now a hugely successful computer game. So successful, the American Spraint Corp wants to buy the firm out. Young renegade Alban, who has been living wild and evading the family tentacles for years, is run to ground and persuaded to attend the forthcoming gathering - part birthday celebration, part Extraordinary General Meeting - convened by Win, the Wopuld matriarch and most powerful member of the board.
Alban, at first reluctant to involve himself in the buyout, increasingly thinks Spraint Corp and its executives, Fromlax and Feaguing, should be treated with suspicion. But he also has other things on his mind. Being drawn back into the bosom of the clan brings inevitable and disconcerting confrontation with his past. What drove his mother to take her own life? And is he yet over Sophie, his beautiful enchanting cousin and teenage love? Grandmother Win's revelations will radically alter Alban's perspective for ever.
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Seriously, the world has gone mad.
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...so there may be a chance. But it would only work as an old-fashioned comedy, maybe something a la "Ruthless People" or "Trading Places". Or "Clue". But this time, let Tim Curry win!
Scott will probably want a "Wall Street II", though, because "dark, gritty and realistic" is fashionable now, after that sixth sequel to Tim Burton's Batman.
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And..
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That would be intresting.
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as the Monopoly Man.
'Nuff said. -
Ewww...
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Hungry Hungry Hippos
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"Because the war ain't over yet" Starring Clive Owen, Vincent Cassel, Denzel Washington, Sebastian Koch, Udo Kier, with Ernest Borgnine and guest star Kirk Douglas.
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Who says originality is dead in Hollywood.
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Best talkback in months!
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MONOPOLY IN NAME ONLY!
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For an adaptation of the Hungry, hungry hippos game...
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push the button, push the button, push the button, the red one, no the other red one. why, why god, give me back my body....
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Stars in and directs Buckaroo!
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Yeah "I" Invented It. Fuck You!!!
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Whatever you do Children. Don't Drop the Koosh Ball.......
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How do ya like them marbles!!!
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Lets see what we got so far.. N, Blank, G, Blank, E, R.
Your trying to trick me!!! I won't do it!!!! -
Thats all i got
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Nov 12, 2008 6:45:04 AM CST
Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch in "Barrel Of Monkeys"
by dracula_wants_the_amulet
Yeah watch me pull down my draws to reveal my Calvins. Look at my 3rd nipple. Feel it, feel it...
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Nov 12, 2008 6:53:21 AM CST
Eddie Murphy stars in "Snake Peanut Brittle"
by dracula_wants_the_amulet
Get Da Fuck Outta Here. Ah ha ah ah ah..
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Nov 12, 2008 6:58:52 AM CST
Christopher Walken, Steve Buscemi, Steven Wright
by dracula_wants_the_amulet
and Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Hide and Go Seek"
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Oh the fucking humanity.
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you know there was always something disturbing/sexual about the way the ghosts would bite him and get him weak. i'm not sure why but just the way they animated the biting, even back then as a kid i found it creepy and almost titilating. of course i'm canadian so we are weird people so maybe its just me. lol
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Nov 12, 2008 7:03:38 AM CST
Harry Knowles, Moriarty, Quint, and the Worm
by dracula_wants_the_amulet
Star in
Spin The Bottle
Just keep telling yourself..
It's Only A Movie. It's Only A Movie. It's Only A Movie.... -
Now, I can see how fun it must be to pick directors and board games and make a gag on the unlikleihood of that, so I won't bother (oh go on then: The reanimated corpse of Alfred Hitchcock directs Risk!), but it HAS been done before, with Clue, and that was ok. It might be a bit of a stretch, but a Monopoly film isn't completely absurd. What's really fucking with MY mind is this bit: 'with an eye toward giving it a futuristic sheen along the lines of his iconic "Blade Runner." 'Now, while I can conceive - just - of a Monopoly film being made by Ridley Scott, this bit just doesn't fit into my mental world without being crowbarred in! Anyone else have trouble with a distopian futuristic noir Monopoly?
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This Summer, Someones Knocking At your Door...
Fear The Thrown Phone.. -
I REFUSE to believe this
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Starring Samuel L. Jackson. "Skip me muthafucker? I'm putting a Reverse on that shit!"
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I WILL KILL YOU! My apologies, but this is the only response my brain allows.
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Robert Downey Jr. will be the iron.
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Is that it will probably go on for about 6 hours without any clear outcome and then everybody involved will just give up and call it quits.
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but the Director's Cut will be hailed as a masterpiece.
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Just like in real life!!!
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She's got the goods too.
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(Or is it Murder by Death?)
"Is strange"
"IT - IT is strange. Say your goddamn pro-nouns..." -
can anoe out there write anyhtng original with any integrity?
these movies make tons of money because tons of money is poured int making them and marketing them.
if someone just took a chance on somthng original, maybe we would start getting some modern day classics again. -
can anoe out there write anyhtng original with any integrity?
these movies make tons of money because tons of money is poured int making them and marketing them.
if someone just took a chance on somthng original, maybe we would start getting some modern day classics again. -
Or was that 'Storytelling?'
BSB - I can't wait to see ScriptGirl's report this weekend if she covers this one. -
from the director of "ripley's believe it or not..."
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Ellen Page and Don Rickles star in this timeless meditation on darkness and illumination. --Coloring your world in 2009.
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It would be better if we could cover Scriptgirl instead, knowm sayin?
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I could think of a few things that need his hand besides a "Futuristic Monopoly, along the lines of Bladerunner"
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1. You form a circle with your fingers by bringing together the tip of your thumb and index finger. You hold that circle anywhere below your waist level.
2. You try to get your intended target to look at that circle without realizing what he's doing before hand.
3. The second you see his eyes looking in the direction of your circle, you pounce and pound his groin reason. One-shot-one-kill rule in effect so make it count.
4. Fight ensues, however both parties' genital regions are now considered out of bounds.
5. Repeat as necessary.
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Robin Williams to direct a movie based on that game where.. too late, moment lost
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The project speaks or itself.
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Lynch stated to Hollywood Reporter that his work on The Elephant Man made it clear he is the obvious choice to helm Hasbro's latest Toyline to Movie franchise.
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Oh fuck yes.
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From Alien, Blade Runner and 1492 to A Good Year, American Gangster and Body of Lies. The only good film he's made recently is Kingdom of Heaven. Methinks he's been hanging around his brother too often.
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Directed by Renny Harlin.
The Waylin-Utani corp lead by Lnace Henrickson's anus explore an ancient Peruvian temple with the aid of a Peruvian flute band to discover an ancient battle ground where Connect 4 game boards battle predators.
Whom ever connects 4 - we LOSE. LOL!!! -
Disturbing film about a plastic surgeon who treats his patients faces as a sick, bloody game. Mindfuck right there.
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Nov 12, 2008 8:10:37 AM CST
Combine this with the horrible news of "The Stepfather" remake,
by stalin vs predator
...it's: John Carpenter's "Sshhh! Don't Wake The Stepfather!". And that could work.
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"Bank error in your favor card". Collect $100.
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Nov 12, 2008 8:14:31 AM CST
By the way, I'm seriously surprised there haven't yet been...
by stalin vs predator
...any movies based on those "choose as you read" book-games from the 80s. They actually had ready stories that could be easily transformed into decent scripts. "Freeway Warrior", anyone?
Well, I suppose the audience for them was too small back then, and of course the only thing teenagers read today is their Myspace login.
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...what the hell? This is wierder than remaking the Karate Kid.
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Directed by George Lucas's gobble neck
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Tom Hanks returns as Forrest Gump to battle Bob Hoskins as a steroid bloated Osama Bin Laden in the battle to save the world from terrorism. Just remember, Gnip Gnop is ping pong, spelled BACKWARDS! Rated PG:13 for gratuitous ballsmashing.
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It was called "War Games."
Maybe the Cohen Brothers could do "The Hoola Hoop?"
Damn...
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Doesn't this kind of fit with the stereotype of young guys, business people, making judgement calls without any real knowledge or understanding of film?
Just 'creatively challenged' bureaucrats making decisions influenced by financially successful pop culture ideas?
They've run out of recycled old TV shows and movies. Now they are dumbing it down more.
You can hear the tiny spinning wheels in the dull heads spinning, "...remember Jumani? We'll use a real game, a famous one. Maybe we can get Robin Williams for this to....?"
High Concept will be "Strip Poker": the 3-D IMAX thrill fest. -
"Best of seven?" ~ "Damn right!"
-
Nov 12, 2008 8:19:59 AM CST
Waiting for a movie to be made out of a box of Cheerios
by jumpinjehosaphat
That is all.
-
Starring Shia La Beef as Fish Jr.
Meghan Fox as the bitch who yells "go fish!" -
...but I'm sure that's on hold indefinitely now that Heroclix has been axed.
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Lol imagine if he made that!
-
the last time it was on AICN with the whole list of board game movie title spamming. To do so again would just prove we're like Hollywood - out of original ideas.
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...from hell, of course.
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Remember that Hitler film? No? Ok.
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Im going to hell
-
will be played by Richard Dreyfuss.
-
Between this TB and the Batman TB, you guys have just been on fire.
-
WORD!
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"Die for nothing, or play for something." BEEP, BOOP, BOOP, BEEP.
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and Uwe Boll is set to do "Fireball Island"
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Ooops, I mean Last!
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very old. why is this even here
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Nov 12, 2008 8:54:49 AM CST
This is bullshit news!! Ridley Scott is WRONG for this classic..
by flickapoo
...game. His previous films have proven that he just doesn't get the material...the ground breaking genius financial simulator that is Monopoly. A REAL Monopoly film should last all afternoon!...and STILL wouldn't be over! By the end you should wrung out, tired of life and have either estranged or come to blows with friends and family! NO way Ridley Scott or any major studio has the BALLS to make this film the way it deserves to be made. Do NOT fuck this up Riddle Man! I just lost ALL interest in this project...why does Hollywood have to fuck up every classic game like this?...I don't know man. I do not know.
-
"...because that's what it's all about, you know what I'm saying? Because me? I know how to make fuckin' movies with '70s music and chicks who talk a lot and shit."
- Yeah, he's been doing the Hokey-Pokey his whole career. -
are fucking hilarious and spot on. i about peed with 'wes craven presents 'don't wake daddy'
ha ha! -
It has my brother and me locked in a death grip pummeling the living shit out of each other (at least that's how it always ended at my house). Worst case scenario was some rug burns and maybe a bloody nose. But, with modern special effects, I’m looking forward to watching myself pick up my brother and execute a slow motion throw which sends his body careening through the side of a skyscraper. Bricks and galss come raining down on the street as my Mom screams, “dammit you two, knock it off!” Come to think of it, this might be the event film of the summer.
-
No Bus stops!?! I don't remember you saying no bus stops!!! What about cherry bombs???
-
involves a hooker or a prostitute...
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....from France, of course ;)
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I thought it was just a rumor last year.
-
Nov 12, 2008 9:06:03 AM CST
Michael J. Fox in... ETCH A SKETCH
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
In a post apocalyptic world. There is no clean, drinkable water. Civilisation has
descended into chaos. A scientist, locked in a lab 20 stories beneath the surface, with only his simple-minded assistant (Fox) as company, discovers the formula to the purification of human faeces into clean, drinkable water. But before he can write down the formula, he suffers a heart attack. Moments before he dies, he manages to copy the formula into the only thing available… The assistants Etch-A-Sketch. Can the assistant traverse the badlands of the "TopWorld" and deliver the Etch-A-Sketch to the government laboratories and save civilisation, all without shaking the formula clean? Find out. Next Summer. -
It's official: there are no more original movies to make.
-
Oh wait..they already did...it's called Ratatouille
-
..my friend's younger brother started lighting his farts on fire. We had always heard about lighting farts but none had ever actually tried it (turns out it really works). Anyway, we were all laughing our asses off as the kid would roll onto his back,light another one and sit back up again, hysterical with laughter. After one of these maneuvers the kid's expression slowly changes from laughter to sheer horror and he starts going "oh! oh! oh!..." and scooting his but along the carpet like a dog trying to dislodge a turd stuck to his ass. When he finally calms down and stands up (almost in tears) he has a huge charred hole in his cheap ass polyester sweatpants. Either the fart or the butane lighter he was using lit his pants on fire and burns a hole is both sweats and Fruit of the Looms. True story. One of the funniest damn things I will ever see in my life.
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Put your balls in my top, Mr. Bucket, out of my mouth they will pop.
-
they are annoying
-
...you can use my little story if you want. I swear it's true and all I ask is an "...inspired by a story by FlickaPoo" in the end credits.
-
I know it was mentioned in another post, wanted to reaffirm this great choice.
"You got second place in the diabeetus pageant!" -
That I might see. Although i guess we got that with CATCF.
-
I'm gonna wait for CHECKERS:THE MOVIE.
-
Set in the middle of Occupied France during WWII, a motley gang of French resistance fighters learn the true value of human ...BBZBZZZZTTTT Starring Bill Paxton as "Man on the Operating Table" and Leonardo DiCaprio as Jean "Shakey hands" LeRoux
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that's all i got
-
I wish I could tell you that Monopoly Man fought the good fight and the sisters left him alone, but life isn't like a fairy tale.
-
.. oh wait ...
it was weird to search for movie titles similar to my favorite obscure board game, Merchants of Venus, only to find there had been an obscure Michael York comedy named Merchants of Venus. Plot: "A Russian immigrant finds himself in bed with the mob after buying a sexual novelties shop." Weird. Anyway, I used to play the boardgame for hours. It was a space trade game. -
but seriously, didn't Oliver Stone DO Monopoly in Wall Street, or what was that Danny DeVito movie..Other People's Money?This has all the credence of the aforementioned Guitar Hero movie, Richard Donner's announcement years ago of a Crazy Taxi movie, and any other crazy mesc-fueled idea thats come down the pipeline.
-
I seriously was about to write the Ang Lee one until I checked to make sure someone else hadn't...great minds?
-
Too bad Alfred Hitchcock isn't around to direct mousetrap. I'm serious.
-
A beach, a Yakuza sit-down... BACAYERO!!!
-
A dystopian sci-fi period noir mystery thriller starring Jenna & Barbara Bush, Mary Kate and Ashley, Kevin & Cory, The Krays, Thompson Twins and many others! Produced By Alex Proyas & D. Lynch.
-
...Hungry Hungry Hippos!
-
Monopoly is gonna be next year's 'Snakes on a Plane'!
-
"It will be like Alexander, but with less incest."
-
but for the life of me I have no clue why some mastermind would risk their entire operation and get in financial trouble by looking for a payday from a film based on Monopoly. Umm, Parcheesi.
-
Yeah, that sounds about right.
-
They made a good movie based on Clue. They can do one on Monopoly.
But it HAS to be a wacky period comedy, not a futuristic sci-fi film. Monopoly is a zany, MAD MAD WORLD-esq romp with all of Atlantic City being fought over by heirs to a wealthy fortune.
Like, duh! -
Director needs work... badly.
-
...every forty five minutes or so...those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it...
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waste.
-
Race Car: Either the red lead car from "Cars" or Will Ferrell as Ricky Bobby
Dog: CGI Ol' Yeller
Cannon: Dick Cheney
Top Hat: Pierce Brosnan
Boat: DiCaprio as Jack Dawson
Horse and Rider: Daniel Radcliffe
Shoe: Michael Jordan
Thimble: Ron Jeremy
Moneybag: Bill Gates -
fuck Scott
-
Or...Oliver Stone's "Jenga"...which chronicles exactly how the WTC towers fell...and how it was all George Bush's fault.
-
Nov 12, 2008 10:28:34 AM CST
Richard Donner's "Cloverfield 2: Rise of the Cootie!"
by cletus van damme
Make it so!
-
Really good flick.
-
as an homage to Neuromancer.
-
That's the only way this film works.
-
..to direct a movie based on the Dawn of the Dead board game, which was based on the popular movie "Dawn of the Dead". It should be good.
-
WTH do they think they can do with a board game like Monopoly?? Just... NO!!
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Nov 12, 2008 10:49:34 AM CST
Ridley: "They pulled a dumptruck full of money into my front yar
by takeiteasymon
I'm guessing that's the reason for this pairing.
-
Didn't Oliver Stone just release that movie? Wasn't Monopoly the working title for W?
-
. . .Mille Bornes.
I hope I didn't get too obscure. -
Dude, I brought up Called to Arms. You're safe.
-
Johnny Depp cast as the lead prankster. Wacky fun will be had by all.
-
A family on a road trip vacation solves crimes and rights wrongs with the help of a handful of dice!
-
Nov 12, 2008 11:14:20 AM CST
Monopoly is a board game published by Parker Brothers, a subsidi
by leafar the lost
From Wkipedia, "Monopoly is a board game published by Parker Brothers, a subsidiary of Hasbro. Players compete to acquire wealth through stylized economic activity involving the buying, renting, and trading of properties using play money, as players take turns moving around the board according to the roll of the dice. The object of the game is to bankrupt the other players. The game is named after the economic concept of monopoly, the domination of a market by a single entity.
Monopoly is the most commercially-successful board game in United States history, with 480 million players worldwide.[1]
According to Hasbro, since Charles Darrow patented the game in 1935, approximately 750 million people have played the game, making it "the most played (commercial) board game in the world."[2] The 1999 Guinness Book of Records cited Hasbro's previous statistic of 500 million people having played Monopoly.[3] Games Magazine has inducted Monopoly into its Hall of Fame.[4]
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Starring Barack Obama. On stage, he's white. In bed ... all black baby.
-
Russ Meyer's Strip Poker
Adam West's Find the Tea Cup in the Bedsheet -
Each of 4 houses belongs to a different sister-wife!!!
Fifth wife wants to buy a hotel!!!
Monopolygamy!!!! -
...Hungry Hungry Hippos!
-
OPERATION!
-
Good lord my stomach hurts from laughing so hard... well done all...
-
Owning 4 houses doesn't seem so great anymore ...
-
Wait, er...
How about Crossbows and Catapults? Anyone doing that one yet? -
Directed by Larry Clark.
-
"I'll be back."
"Make sure you bring cash." -
BODY PARTS WILL GET TANGLED!!!!!
-
trust me on that one, i have a source
-
Because nobody else does:
http://www.whoreoftheday.com/wp-content/uploads/whores/jenna_jameson/jenna_jameson_ugly/jenna_jameson_ugly_3.jpg
-
Rated G for Gross.
-
This time, Jaguar Paw runs from the Catholics.
Just when you thought it was safe to enter the jungle ... -
Worst idea ever.
-
this is gunna be a shit-fest
-
Hopscotch,
I Spy (twice)
Guess Who
leapfrog
gi joe
pop up pirate (of the caribbean)
&
even bloody 'Snap!'
..hollywood will never run out of ideas unless toys 'r us goes bust! -
They're devouring your equity!!! Use the bailout force, Luke!!!
Starring Henry Paulson as Darth Billions and Neel Kashkari as Darth Rape. -
Monopoly is already a documentary about a one legged parrot.
-
guillermo del torro rumored to direct "Chess".
last but not least, gary beusy signs on for the lead role in "Don't Wake Daddy!" -
because when Hollywood runs out of boardgames, there are a million videogames to make movies from. Call of Duty, Oblivion, Grand Theft Auto...
-
"Dr. Jones! Dr. Jones! Is it time for love?"
"Yes Shorty, break out the Twister!" -
This is gong to be a NC-17 Total Penetration porn film starring Heather Matazarro and Michelle Williams as "the Princesses"
-
"I'd like to solve the puzzle."
"Go ahead, Doctor Jones."
"Nurhaci, remains of the first Emperor of Manchu Dynasty."
"You are right!" -
Really, just what the Blue Hell are they planning here? A futuristic movie based on Monopoly? That makes ABSOLUETLY NO BLOODY SENSE!!! Sorry, normally I would give Ridley the benefit of the doubt, but I really need more info here. There is nothing about Monopoly that even remotely loan itself to a "futuristic" story. I thought Ridley's big return to Sci-Fi was going to be Forever War or Brave New World. Please tell me this is just some kind of miscommunication!
-
It's all in the wrist action.
-
I told myself I wouldn't get sucked into this. No willpower, I guess...
-
Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson as Lt. Chute and Sgt. Ladder!
-
Johnny Depp plays the board, Helena Bonham Carter is the bean bag.
-
He's jealous that Tony Scott got to direct Domino.
-
Nov 12, 2008 12:30:02 PM CST
Michael Bay presents Transformers 3:Rockem Sockem Robots
by shepard wong
Awesome!!!!
-
BAWWWWWWW THERE'S NO RED ROBOT AND BLUE ROBOT! BAY RAPED MY CHILDHOOD!!!!!!!!!!111111
-
He loses his a-peel and gets fried!
-
I definitely remember seeing it on Joblo.com then, and think it was here too. Whatever. This is a weird news week so it fits.
-
While casting is in the preliminary stages, rumor has it that they are looking for 2-8 Actors for principal roles.
-
...starring Samuel L. Jackson. "I've had it with these muthafuckin' snakes on these muthafuckin' ladders!!!"
-
What's next Hungry Hungry Hippos with Robert Zemeckis at the helm? Wait, that actually might work, but I wonder who would do the motion capture.
-
Jesus, and to think I came to this site for stock tips.
-
"We're going to play a game"
-
Nov 12, 2008 12:44:44 PM CST
What the hell did Ridley Scott do to the Monopoly guy?!
by mr slippy fist
He put flames and nipples on him!!! That is BULLSHIT!!!
-
Only thebreakout movie could be more ridicoulous. Congrrats Sir Ridley, you've outdone everyone with this.
-
Nov 12, 2008 12:54:25 PM CST
Trey Parker and Matt Stone to direct Ants in The Pants
by ashesofdonnie
-
Has gone on record as saying ripley is dead. and she will never ever be playing the character again. Said so while promoting Snowcake.
-
things you people wouldn't believe.
Little pewter dogs on fire off the shoulder of the Reading Railroad.
I've watched the Community Chest glitter in the dark near Marvin Gardens.
All those ... moments will be lost in time, like a second prize of $10 in a beauty contest.
Time to die. -
"He's palling around with terrorists!!"
"What terrorists? They're bankers!"
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Nov 12, 2008 1:08:32 PM CST
DAMN--I seriously just wrote a brilliant treatment for Monopoly
by sixtyhurts
Oh, man. Our script is good. REAL good.
Two words: Alec Baldwin
Ridley--contact me. Seriously.
-
I am serious, Mr. Scott. You have to read it, if you're actually going to do this film. Our script is better than, whatever you've got. Desperation, I know--but we JUST finished ours, and then I read this announcement.
-
Nov 12, 2008 1:11:50 PM CST
I am sure there are better quality scripts Ridley can direct
by charlie_allnut
This is just dumb.
-
With an option to direct the sequel Beer Bong.
-
inevitable dtv
-
Monopoly is back at McDonald's and play to win a free chance to attend the premiere of MONOPOLY:THE MOVIE with four of your friends! You'll get the all-star Hollywood VIP treatment with a chance to hang out with the cast and crew! So come to McDonald's! Play to win!
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When the cowboy and horse land in jail, love finds a way!!!
-
Coming Soon from Happy Madison Productions....i've got nothing
-
Remember when the rumor was that Ratner was going to get his hands on this beloved film franchise? I just kept worrying that he might kill off baltic ave too early.
-
The board game or the game show? Chuck Woolery = THE NEXT ACTION HERO!
FEAR THE STOPPERS! -
Then 9/11 happened and...you know.
-
"The password is...PAIN!"
-
28 days later, you're still playing...
-
Starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Amanda Bynes!
-
suck my fucking cock you boring old russell crowe obsessed only ever made 3 decent films in your whole career fuuuuckin heeeeeeeeeeell!!!!
-
Dumbest. Idea. Ever. I don't care who is directing. Stupid. And Ridley Scott is overrated anyways. His director cuts are fucking awful 9 out of 10 times.
-
Not feeling in a very tolerant mood this evening.
-
Granted, the common response is a "WTF?" but the fact that there is so much emotion attached with MONOPOLY means that we have something. a nugget. Yep, it all depends on the story and it could be aweful. But I feel we got a good team. Wait and see.
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At least then I'd feel like I accomplished something. Monopoly? What's next, Scrabble? Why not tap the unrealized drama of a rousing game of UNO?
-
Starring Russell Crowe as the Top Hat and Leonard Di Caprio as The Iron!
-
It's just too strange not to be...
-
Featuring George Clooney as the white tile and Brad Pitt as the dice...
-
i'm getting lots of xmas gift ideas.
-
Ridley confirms, the movie will have "free parking"
-
Directed by Terrence Malik starring Sean Connery and Shia THE BEEF.
-
Thanks for that man, my belly is still achin' from your post.
-
your welcome
-
you beat me you SOB. I really thought i was the only one who would remeber that game...... well played
-
the scary thing is Jackie might actually make something halfway decent of the mess
-
limited release with an R rating, followed by the Special 4 disc Unrated DVD. Two of the discs are "free" digital copies, but to 2 of 64 completely different movies, hand picked by Rob Zombie and randomly inserted into each set.
-
Kinda fitting, isn't it?
-
Nov 12, 2008 3:02:59 PM CST
have any of you guys ever farted while getting a BJ?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Seriously. It happened to me the other night. Right when I was about to pop I pushed so hard I let out this massive wet fart with the female's face right between my legs. She gave me the oddest look. Not angry, just sort of confused and somber.
-
..time for bedlam, g'nite!
-
Scott told the LA Times that it “ought to be humorous and for the family”. Scott explained that the humor will come out of the drastic changes in economic class, “particularly when your uncle suddenly gets [Park Place]” … “You watch people change. You’re witness to Jekyll and Hyde. Somewhere in that is a hysterically amusing and I think rather exciting film.”
-
...Okay, maybe not. But it was pretty funny.
-
Haven't movies based on board games been a continual joke, like, forever?
-
I was thinking Richard Dreyfuss but after this guy wraps a movie, he does the talk show circuit and crabs about the director, the script, etc. Who'd want to hire this guy?
-
Nov 12, 2008 3:43:38 PM CST
I love this board game....so the movie will be good!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
-
I love the smell of wealth redistribution in the morning ... smells like ... victory.
-
and then every studio jumping on the bandwagon with board game licences.
-
Ged doo dah dimble!! Doo eed neeowwww!!!!
-
It was called There Will Be Blood.
-
Nov 12, 2008 4:25:09 PM CST
this concept is fucking insane and ridiculous....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...yet awesomely fucked up!! I love it. Its like a chick I used to date. Fine ass red head but crazy as shit.
-
"The hotel is on fire!!!"
"Forget the hotel, the whole board is on fire!!!!!" -
Wins every AICN talkback forever. He should be given the crown.
-
Wins every AICN talkback forever. He should be given the crown.
-
they use the line "Monopolize this bitch!" at least once.If this makes money, I bet George Lucas will greenlight the movie version of the Monopoly - Star Wars Edition.
-
Wasn't the scene in CEOT3K with the music just an elaborate game of SIMON with the aliens?
-
On May 27...Life gets fucked up.
-
as the racecar. It was one of the coveted roles in movie history, with Hopkins, Connery, Cruise, Pitt, Clooney, Affleck, Damon, Pearce, and 25,000 other actors vying for the role.
-
The one he knocks out and uses as a human puppet. "Do not pass go!" "Do not collect 200 dollars"
-
"Rob! I saw it! It's huge!! It's an iron!!!"
-
When a CGI explosion occurs with every YAHTZEE! Starring Megan Fox and Shia the beef
-
Simply horrible.
-
Ha! Well played.
-
but he is dead,
so it makes sense...
but it's so wordy and mean, everyone misunderstands it...
probably suits him. -
I know i'm not.
Shit I don't even want to waste 2 minutes watching the trailer. -
they realize the hype created for Transformers and think any of their dumb toys can create a perpetual money tree. Yes Monopoly boards might sell a bit more, heck the movie will just be one big commercial for their board games. All they needed to do was find a studio dumb enough to make the movie.
-
Or perhaps, Strip...THEN Poke Her?
-
The guy has been in an Uwe Boll movie so this is definately a step up.
-
...Wizkids to un-fold!
-
See what I did there?
-
I'm tired of Hollywood making movies of landlords sending people to jail for trespassing on their land without enough in the bank.
-
When I first heard about this, Iwas like, maybe he'll do it in the early 20th century around like 1920-1930s when the game was first created, and give it a a somewhat satirical "Rat Race" like feel, with Moneybags orcheststraing the whole thing . Who knows what the fuck he has in mind for it.
-
What in the hell is this all about? My God! Ridley Scott hasn't made a good movie in ages. He could use a return to form, and this sure as shit ain't gonna be it!
-
It must be a joke. Ridley Scott. MONOPOLY. THE MOVIE. I'm not even going to follow the Hollywood Reporter’s link. It's just to ridiculous. Ridley is more of a Mouse Trap kind of director.
-
Starring Chris Tucker and Flavor Flav
-
but just how the hell does a shitty article subject like this get 500+ posts to begin with? It it really just board game jokes on here? damn...
-
You'll rue the day you crossed me, Trebek.
-
"Does he look like a bitch?"
-
lolz
-
Get caught in it. 2010.
-
Not the whole game, just the moustrap part, which was the only part of the game worth playing with.
-
Nov 12, 2008 8:15:07 PM CST
Clive Barker Presents Clive Barker's Yahtzee by Clive Barker
by grandlarseny
At some point, we all have to roll the dice...
-
I mean, it seems pretty obvious to me...
-
Just had to jump on the bandwagon.
-
If any board game could be turned into a kick-ass movie, that would be it.
-
OK, I'm done.
-
Kramer got royalties from selling the rights to his coffee table book about coffee tables to a movie studio.
George: "How could someone make a movie about that?"
Kramer: "Remember that book about the toy ray gun?.....Independence Day."
-
What?
-
to do anymore of leobloom's cereal jokes.
-
RIDLEY SCOTT RAPED MY CHILDHOOD!
-
MONOPOLY IS RUINED FOREVER!
-
Duh, brother!
-
What about "Mr. Clean"? Who's reppin him?
-
That would be weird.
-
It really, really wouldn't surprise me at all if this were true.Great movie/board game jokes! Personal faves are Peter Jackson/Munchkin and Gilliam/LARP, even if it was a little generic - Of course they've already made a movie based on one LARP... it was called Underworld ;)
-
And Victor Salva can make Trouble
-
"They're coming to get you" in 2010.
-
A Martin Scorsese film
-
A Steven Seagal film
-
A Christopher Nolan film
-
I needed this thread.
-
Nun Shall Survive
-
I rememebr when this movie was first announced, but Ridley Scott? Monopoly = Blade Runner? Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200 for killing the replicant.
-
If you've ever played that board game, you KNOW he's more than suited for that...or at least someone needs to bring it to the screen.
-
oy shit, i liked that one
-
She's got the pie you're looking for. (?)
-
hell would be watching someone try to solve that damn thing for two hours.... then in the final minute pinhead shows up with chains and hooks and bodyparts go flying.
-
Now that would RULE! http://wizwar.com/
-
Tony Jaa directs and stars in "Schoolyard Bloody Knuckles"
And the Parkour guy stars in Skip-It. -
"John Buckaroo was an ordinary cop, until he accidentally uncovered a drugs ring run by his corrupt superiors. Now, hunted by his former allies, on the run as they try to take everything from him, they push him as far as a man can be pushed until....He Bucks."
-
Nov 13, 2008 2:32:29 AM CST
Who cares when AVATAR is fucking our eyeballs in 2009?
by motoko kusanagi
nobody
-
It's about a bunch of folks who show up to a party and start playing Monopoly, see? And there's that tedious, hypercompetitive fucker who always wrecks everything by insisting that the game be played until the bitter end, even if that means staying up until 3am.
Except this asshole's REALLY obsessed, and he starts killing everybody he bankrupts in increasingly violent ways, because they're trapped in the house with him. Winner gets to go home.
Absolute dynamite, baby...it's like SAW with dice and little green houses... -
It's fun getting into trouble.
-
Grazie!
-
Does he use the playcards as ninja stars, slicing throats?
-
...The red piece cheats on his wife, then has a beer...
-
Nov 13, 2008 7:35:16 AM CST
Bruce Willis - Johnny Depp - Anthony Hopkins: MAGNA DOODLE!
by cletus van damme
Summer 2009!
-
Nov 13, 2008 7:40:08 AM CST
I had a board game with an electronic part called...
by cletus van damme
..."Stop Thief." That was kinda cool, I could see that working as a crime drama of some sort.Anyone else remember Stop Thief?
-
I remember that game, you were a detective and you had to catch a robber by listening to the sound effect clues the electronic thing gave you.
-
OK, here's my synopsis for Monopoly:
2035...a Dystopian future like you've never seen. One man has an iron grip on the city. Its Banks. Its Utilities. Its Railroads. Its Hotels and its Apartments. All is owned and surveyed by one man...Rich "Uncle" Pennybags, or as the town calls him "Mr. Monopoly". (played by Anthony Hopkins)
Mr. Monopoly has had a grip on Monopoly City for a while now...but his embezzling accountant, Danny "the Wheelbarrel" Morgan (played by Ashton Kutcher) has just sold him out on an attempted murder of hot new singing sensation "Shoe" (played by Miley Cyrus) to D.A. Thimble (played by John C. McGinley). However, Thimble's hands are tied, thanks to sleazy defense attorney Jonathan "Top Hat" Banks (played by Colin Hanks) and his ability to get Mr. Monopoly off on a technicality.
Justice has long forsaken the streets of Monopoly...until two cops decided to beat the system at its own game. Lt. Barry "Battleship" Parker (Gary Busey) and Det. Scottie "Dog" Parker (Michael Chiklis) are two brothers who have their own sense of justice...street justice. With the help of The Wheelbarrel, DA Thimble, and the new rookie on the Force, Patrolman "Moneysack" (Haley Joel Osment); the Parker Brothers are going to take justice to the steps of Park Place, and make Mr. Monopoly pay for what he's done...WITH INTEREST!
With thrilling chases, sex and danger at every turn, and Free Parking sometimes doubling as a Stock Market, no one is getting out of jail for free! Coming in 2012, Monopoly...because in this game...there's no such thing as Sorry! -
Movie practically writes itself...
-
the starting front line of the wnba's la sparxx
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starring Bruce Campbell, with Ted Raimi playing 6 different parts.
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while I'm on the subject of Cheapass games..... the project was originally attached to Quentin Tarantino, then offered to John Woo before ending up with Guy Ritchie, who was reported to have to make the movie because 1) he is forced to pay for Kaballah school for his kids, and 2) he starts playing Texas Hold'em constantly after learning the game from Jason "I did that Uwe Boll movie because I kept drawing to inside straights" Statham.
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Nov 13, 2008 2:06:15 PM CST
Meanwhile, back at Monopoly, in a major cast announcement...
by doctortom
director Scott announces that Jenna Jameson will play the part of Community Chest
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Michael Larson faked his death and now he wants to RULE THE WORLD! Now humanity must trust the villainous Whammies to save all mankind!
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Fear Michael Reilly, BABY! "M-OH!-N-OH!-P-O-L-Y! If you fail, you go to jail! (But I'm just a visitor!)" Sung by Britney Spears of course.
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This can only be like Monopoly G1 or it'll be an EPIC FAIL.
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I know, I'm going to hell...
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MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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Oh wait, that was Batman Forever.
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She's about the same width sideways as one.
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Nov 13, 2008 2:32:24 PM CST
Nicole Richie and the girls of the new 90210 in Pick-Up Sticks
by jmfabianorpl
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In an attempt to make it more personal, she'll have the Ants be threatened by a Crab Invasion.
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They should've made it pewter, like the game!!! ARRGH, so ticked off right now...
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Nov 13, 2008 2:37:16 PM CST
Joel Schumacher's STRATEGO starring Ahnuld Schwarzenegger
by jmfabianorpl
"You're not FLAGGING me down!"
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Damn you Hunter for holding down the marbles. If it wasn't for the glass ceiling they'd all be WWE champion.
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I'm sending death threats to Ridley Scott's house, stat.
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Of course.
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Can the wacky, HIGH-larious stoner finally get the girl?
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Would probably have to be indie, it sounds too pretentious to me.
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Nov 13, 2008 2:41:52 PM CST
I'd rather a film version of Operation personally or Kerplunk
by alucardvsdracula
Ridley Scott has offically lost it.
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"What are you dense? Are you retarded or something? I'm the GODDAMN POP-O-MATIC BUBBLE!"
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"why do I gotta be the THIMBLE??!"
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Nov 13, 2008 2:55:43 PM CST
Kewpie Dolls starring Hayden Christensen and Keanu Reeves
by jmfabianorpl
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All the female characters are turned into foul-mouth whores, and there's a lot more blood and guts. Cause it's DARK AND EDGIER.
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Huh? Huh?
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The water is the monster. WHATTA TWEEST!
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He's everywhere these days
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The footstep noise was my favorite, lol.
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Hahaha, suck it Internet Nerds, you can't do anything about THIS. They're SUPPOSED to go from white to black in this game!!! Hahahaha! We know what you like, take it like men!!!!!!!
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"It's your love that makes me more beautiful!"
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She has an OSCAR, after all. Who cares if she came up with stupid lines like the "What happens to a thimble that gets sent to jail?" bit.
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Nov 13, 2008 4:48:06 PM CST
All of the "Desperate Housewives" vying to star in OLD MAID
by jmfabianorpl
Did you change the channel? Don't they look so old and creepy?
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Who would be stupid enough to greenlight this? Come on, Hollywood! Let us off the hook! This is not real. It's like a story from the Onion!
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