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Gerard Butler's actioneer GAME has screened! And it doesn't sound too good...

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. Gerard Butler's GAME tested last night and we got our first reaction, which ain't pretty. From the CRANK directors this seemed like a no-brainer... Gerard Butler being badass, an avatar of video game player in the future where you don't play computer-created characters, but real, living people. Dexter's Michael C. Hall as the baddie and a kind of crazy R-rated extremely violent TRON-ish movie. Maybe Sexy Whisk, who has written in before with early reviews, is the exception to the general feeling of the flick, but I get the feeling that he wanted this movie to entertain him and was let down. As usual, keep in mind this is a very early screening and that the filmmakers are still working on getting the film ready. Now here's Sexy Whisk with his thoughts on the flick:

Greetings Harry - it's Sexy Whisk again - Back with I believe the first ever review of the action pic "Game" - Ugh what a horrible title. I would pray to god they change it before it's eventual release - but in the meanwhile GAME is what we must call this film debacle from the creators of "CRANK" and "CRANK 2". I can only imagine how this movie was born - these creators were in the movie theater watching "Death Race" and thought aloud to themselves "whoa this would be so much cooler if it was video games, instead of car racing!" The plot is as ridiculous as it sounds: in a not so distant future - video game players control REAL people, rather than computer generated characters. Has something to do with nano-technology and brain chips but who cares, sounds like it could be goofy fun action concept right? WRONG - this movie was beyond boring and the action was completely unexciting. You know these female singers who try to hit all the high notes with their "oohs" and "ahhs" all at various octaves? They do it A LOT on American Idol and well it annoys the hell out of me - just sing the damn song and stop trying to impress me with all the Mariah Carey like scatting!! Ugh! Well movies have a similar annoying fad - the jump cut. It happens a lot in action flicks - and even more often in BAD action flicks. Flicks that are trying soo hard to overdo their action sequences they intercut from 800 angles that by the end of the scene you have absolutely no idea how the character got from point A to point B. And that's no good for an action movie like this. I'm sure most of you remember "Children of Men" - whether you loved it or hated it - you must agree how amazingly chaotic and action packed it was without ever having to cut the camera! Now that is talent. GAME however is the complete opposite - it's trying sooo hard to be exciting and fresh and appeal to "gamers" - its cuts from dark to computer screens to action to more computer screens to close-ups - its unexcusable. And trust me I looked - Michael J. Fox did not edit this movie - so what other excuse is there? We "gamers" don't need you to over-edit the movie to keep us interested Mr. Crank Directors - we want to understand what we're seeing - we want to root for the good guy - and we want to have FUN. Sadly that's the main thing this picture is missing. Death Race was a shitty movie, but it was FUN. It had its tongue placed firmly in its cheek, it gave some great car chases, and it had an exciting dynamic between Jason Statham and the prickly warden played by Joan Allen. Game had nothing. What's shocking is that the cast of this flick is awesome - Gerard Butler ("300")- whom I'm a big fan of - does his best Jason Statham impression and pulls it off fine - but he deserves such better material than this confusing chaotic schlock. He deserves to be a bad ass we're rooting for, not just kicking ass completely confused the entire picture. He doesn't even open his mouth until almost 20-30 minutes in. We have no idea or care about what he's doing in this bizarre prison . Then at one point, after clearly a long, long while of being slave to this "game" his teenage player talks to him. And it's played like "who are you?", "Back off player, just let me do my thing" - it makes absolutely no sense. The villian is played by the wonderful Michael C Hall of "Dexter" fame whom I also love. But he's completely wasted here. He basically shows up twice - once in the begining with one accent, and then again in the end somehow with a seemingly different accent - but the extreme lack of inter-play between our hero and villain leaves us no suspenseful build-up, nor an exciting final showdown, merely a super boring one. GAME takes itself way too seriously. In fact the movie is filled with these super bizarre dark scenes with sweaty obese gamers, controlling real life hot women who strip, touch themselves and pee in public. Yes they really showed a woman peeing - None of it is hot or sexy in the slightest - instead it just comes off as creepy, offensive and exploitative. Were these filmmakers trying to say something here? "Oooh People are dark and gross and fat when they're left to their own devices." Whatever. It's way too weird of a message to fit into the subplot of a film with such a silly concept. We want a bad ass hero cleverly blowing shit up - rather than "running to a save point" every battle. We want a villain who torments our hero and knocks him down even lower. We want that hero to crawl through shit to finally meet his maker, and the beat the bloody hell out of him. And we want him to say some funny shit along the way. Sadly this game misses the mark in all accounts. Let's hope they completely re-edit and re-shoot this beast before its release date.

Readers Talkback
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  • Oct. 23, 2008, 3:10 a.m. CST

    Sexy Whisk?

    by masteryoda007

    I am still going to see this. Crankl was too good to dismiss this already. Let me guess is Sexy Whisk a lady? If not it sure sounds like it.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 3:11 a.m. CST

    Shit Review

    by masteryoda007

    This very well could be the worst review I have ever read on this site.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 3:13 a.m. CST

    The Makers of Crank Made a Bad Movie?

    by sloanist


  • Oct. 23, 2008, 3:14 a.m. CST

    BTW, If You Liked Crank...

    by sloanist're a baby and your mom is about to lose the VP

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 3:19 a.m. CST

    Great Review

    by D o o d

    I totally agree about this new "jump cut" fad. Any director that uses it just means that they lack the talent to do an action scene properly. I went to see Eagle Eye last night and came home with a headache. I don't go to the movies for that, I stay at home and listen to my girlfriend..!

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 3:23 a.m. CST

    I stopped reading that the Michael J. Fox joke.

    by s0nicdeathmonkey

    ill-conceived and offensive. This is not an opinion I need to trust.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 3:37 a.m. CST

    They Should Change The Title To "Game Over"!!!

    by Media Messiah

    I'm not being sarcastic, it just sounds better.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 3:55 a.m. CST

    why the Michael J Fox comment !!!? idiot

    by hesky75

    and its not big or clever....

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 4:10 a.m. CST

    The Makers of Crank Made a Bad Movie?

    by Carl XVI Gustaf

    Yes, Crank.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 4:16 a.m. CST

    Sexy Whisk

    by deanbarry

    I stopped reading that review the moment you mentioned Michael J. Fox. That's fucked up. I idolise that man, grew up watching Family Ties and his movies, and you say that shit. Game might actually be a decent movie. Not going to trust the review of a dipshit like you.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 4:18 a.m. CST

    Now that you mention the Fox joke...

    by DerLanghaarige

    The reviewer makes fun of Parkinson but feels offended by a peeing woman?

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 4:21 a.m. CST

    I'm sorry but this is not a review

    by Aeghast

    This is more like a talkback comment

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 4:43 a.m. CST


    by rost

    that thing about Michael J. Fox was unnecessary and this so so-called review might be one of the worst i have ever read!!!

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 4:46 a.m. CST

    Michael J.. Fox is a geat guy

    by ranma627

    what the fuck is your problem dude?

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 4:46 a.m. CST

    This movie is going to be even worse than they say

    by blindambition238

    Based on the fact that they noted PWA's Death Race had redemming qualities and that they watched American Idol.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 4:47 a.m. CST


    by ranma627

    i meant great. you're such a douchebag. AICN, what were you thinking posting this prick's review?

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 4:51 a.m. CST

    fuck u, Michael J. Fox is a cool guy

    by dioxholster

    i hate u for saying that. and i like jump cuts. and yes they should change the title to something cool like 'Remote Control' or something like that.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 4:55 a.m. CST

    Skipping all Hollywood movies until 'Avatar'

    by kwisatzhaderach

    Sick of this junk.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 4:58 a.m. CST

    by barrignite

    Agreed. MJF comment was a poor attempt at humour and this guy cant write for shit. If i was to guess, id say he was a 16 year old kid or a 30 year old retard.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 5:44 a.m. CST

    Michael J. Fox joke...

    by davebaxter1989

    ...was not needed. Neither was the review frankly - badly written and jumbled.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 5:56 a.m. CST

    Hey Quint, wake the fuck up!!!

    by ugh

    You're letting the inmates run the asylum again. And would someone please get Sexy Whisk a douche!?

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 6:13 a.m. CST

    Quint... Harry...

    by ColloquiallyBorn

    Seriously, why the hell would you post a review that bashes Michael J. Fox like that.<p>The guy is hit by a something that will kill him and makes it hard for him to go out in public on an everyday basis.<P>Now you get this clown that sends you a very bad joke about him not being the editor and instead of flushing it, or removing the line, you post it.<P>C'mon guys, show some class and respect to a great man.<P>

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 6:13 a.m. CST

    Michael J. Fox joke was utterly tasteless.

    by heyscot

    I hope nobody you ever respect or care about gets a debilitating disease and then someone else jokes about it.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 6:53 a.m. CST

    this is one of those dumb reviews

    by the new transported man


  • Oct. 23, 2008, 7:03 a.m. CST

    The Michael J. Fox jab...

    by O_Goncho

    ...I lol'd. What's so bad about this guys review? At least it's intelligible, unlike a certain Beaked reviewer who frequents this site, and it's completely diluted any hope I had for Game. Bravo.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 7:31 a.m. CST

    Michael J. Fox is a national treasure;

    by comedian_x

    Sexy Wisk is just some asshole. How would having Parkinson's make someone put in jump cuts in a movie? If you were talking about a scribbled drawing I could see the joke -- not here though. <p> If you have disdain for jump cuts, just call them Avid Farts™ like Vern does.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 7:56 a.m. CST



    The Fox joke was the highlight of the review....quit your cryin

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 8:10 a.m. CST

    MJF joke

    by Currencyboy

    Not cool at all. Also, this is probably the first time I've read a talkback that everyone is in agreement with something!

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 8:28 a.m. CST

    I think you're all taking it too seriously

    by O_Goncho


  • Oct. 23, 2008, 8:34 a.m. CST

    Michael J

    by TheBlackKnight

    In theory the joke could be funny. I've heard good Parkinson's-related humor, but that was just dumb. It doesn't even make sense. <p>Also, stop all the defense of Michael J. Fox. Let him know about this asshole reviewer and he can come to the boards to defend himself, as long as he gets someone to type for him. Just because he IS a great guy doesn't mean there aren't some jokes to be had. I suppose people will be okay making comments on people's "shakiness" and referring to MJF only 20 years after he's dead. THEN it will be okay. But because the man is still alive? HEAVEN FORBID!!!

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 8:36 a.m. CST

    I have to nit-pick this part -

    by The Handsome 12th Doctor

    "I can only imagine how this movie was born - these creators were in the movie theater watching "Death Race" and thought aloud to themselves "whoa this would be so much cooler if it was video games, instead of car racing!"<p>Ummm, didn't 'Death Race' only come out a couple of months ago? How fast does this person think films get made? Not even the 'Saw' films get produced that fast.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 8:38 a.m. CST

    I thought the review sucked

    by Purgatori

    I still didn't really get a clear picture of the movie and he spent half of it talking about jump cuts. The truth of the matter is...if we had the ability to do this sort of shit in the real world right now, you know pervie gamers would be out doing that sort of crap with the chick players. I mean come on...let's be realisitc here. Also, fuck you and your Michael J Fox comment. It was lame and stupid. And if that's your sense of humor God help you.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 8:45 a.m. CST

    TheBlackKnight / Michael J. Fox

    by Conans Sword

    stop with the defense of M.J.F why? so you can take the moral high ground on the internt?. the joke should be left in cause freedom of speach should be defended everywhere. but as someone who watched someone else struggle with Parkinsons for years i reserve the right to get on my soap box and say i hope you get raped in the mouth by horse Sexy Whisk.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 8:47 a.m. CST

    by A horse.i left out the a in my hulk like rage

    by Conans Sword

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 8:52 a.m. CST

    i actually thought the michael j. fox

    by vaudeville villain

    joke was pretty funny. oh well...

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 8:56 a.m. CST

    Sexy Whisk vs. Michael J. Fox

    by cowboyone

    Finally, the AICN community is taking the high ground collectively! Michael J. Fox is a great actor and performer who brought joy to millions. Sexy whisk is a douche.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 9:10 a.m. CST

    Conans Sword

    by TheBlackKnight

    I'm all for your right to talk about Sexy Whisk getting mouth-raped by a horse (perhaps we can get that set-up somewhere in Mexico?). Humor is a fascinating thing like that, however. It's very relative. Some is more specifically relative than the rest. Most people in life don't know anyone with Parkinson's. The people that do, especially those close to them, will probably not laugh. Black people probably don't respond well to black jokes, Pollacks to Pollack jokes, so on and and so forth. <p>I'm not equating debilitating diseases with race here, but Michael J. Fox didn't choose Parkinson's and black people would probably rather not CHOOSE to be black (ZING! It's all relative!. Anyway, where was I? I don't know. I think I made a point, maybe not.<p>By the way, see a show called Avenue Q. Brilliant song about everyone being a little bit racist. It's very true.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 9:25 a.m. CST

    Crank was a colossal piece of shit.

    by thedarklinglord

    This was destined to suck.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 9:26 a.m. CST

    It's funny

    by toxicbuddha

    How all these talkbackers come out to take up the mantle for MJF like he shows up at their family reunions or gives them sponge baths on weekends. Last I checked just about everything gets skewered eventually on this site and they are based in the U.S., so the follow the whole Freedom of Speech thing. If it's any consolation to your outraged sensibilities, I'll wager your sensitive hearts on the fact that a: MJF has never heard of Sexy Whisk and b:)what Sexy eats don't make MJF shit. Maybe all of you crying about the comment should take a break from AICN and come back when your balls drop. As for the review, isn't a bit of a waste of all our time to review anything made by the guys that made "Crank'? They make what they make and it appeals to a certain demographic. Like doing a review of crystal meth: doesn't matter what I say, either u snort that shit or you don't.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 9:43 a.m. CST

    This Talkback could be a milestone in AICN history!

    by DerLanghaarige

    October 23 2008 - The day when we found out that you seriously cross a line if you make fun of Michael J. Fox' Parkinson desease!

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 9:45 a.m. CST

    before the MJF joke...


    this review was already crap. i know nothing about the movie other than this kid didn't like it.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 10:04 a.m. CST

    someone joking about "DADDY SHAKES" ?


  • Oct. 23, 2008, 10:10 a.m. CST

    whisk doesn't regret the joke


    i'm sure he chuckled at his hip-retro-yet-taboo pop culture reference. 'toonight, we play vidja HELL!'

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 10:13 a.m. CST

    If you make fun of someone who has a terminal condition

    by Drunken Rage

    simply because he has a terminal condition, you are a fucking piece of shit.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 10:26 a.m. CST

    Michael J Fox as national treasure? You kidding me?

    by JackRabbitSlim

    Michael J Fox is was and always will be nothing more than Pat Sajak with luckier career breaks. Had .. whatever the hell the name of that inane show he was on ... Family Ties been discoed after 6 episodes, he woulda been vying with Wink Martindale for hosting the All New Tic Tac Dough! or changing his name to Dick Winter and done weather reports for 20 years on NewsChannel Nine, doing live remotes at the Animal Shelter of the week 'Here in sunny Tuscon!' and had a legion of housewife fans because hes just so darn boyishly cute. You know this to be true.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 10:29 a.m. CST

    BTW - Life in general is a terminal condition

    by JackRabbitSlim

    Sweet Jesus - there's an eight year old dying of childhood leukemia within 30 miles of whereever you live. Lets keep the "tragedy" of Michael J Fox in perspective.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 10:32 a.m. CST

    My Only Regret...

    by SexyWhisk

    ...Is not throwing in more offensive connections - God you are all the biggest babies in the world - I think MJF (whom I love) can even admit, manually cutting and splicing film might not be the best gig for him right now. Doesn't mean I wish him dead! And way to use that to distract from the fact that the movie clearly sucked - instead this talkback sounds like a bunch of McCain supporters shouting "Muslim! Terrorist!" - stick to the real issue! This movie sucked! Also to clarify one comment - how does jump cutting compare to gamers - its because games and content to gamers (ex: G4 Network) fill up the screen with so many graphics and scrolls that take up more of more of our attention - our heads are always focusing on more than one thing - and since we can't control movies, this filmmaker's way of appealing to our large multi-tasked gaming brains is by over cutting. Look I didn't realize so many of you had a hard on for Crank - but Crank deserves an oscar of this. The movie is slow, the action is over edited - yes there are plenty of heads blowing up - but its not exciting, its impossible to care for our hero, and its not original, its just a bad movie. I thought that was all pretty clear in the review. But what's beautiful about this country - is all you whining cry babies can ignore me and waste your 10 bucks to find this out for yourself when it opens. Enjoy!!! :)

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 10:35 a.m. CST

    Leonidus and Maximus are dead both deseved sequels

    by picardsucks

    How about Maximus Versus Leonidus in the afterlife??? Both commanding legions of their fallen soldiers. Gerard is only awesome when he wears a brass Corinthian helmet otherwise he's english Michael Beihn

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 10:39 a.m. CST

    hypocracy much?


    i don't mean to be ubermoral either, but i do think it's funny (and no ne else has mentioned) sloanist can make fun of a down syndrome baby but we can't say that it may be difficult for MJF to edit a film well.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 10:43 a.m. CST

    oooohhh a Michael J. Fox joke

    by fartedinthefaceofhollywood

    oh god...get over it, worse shit can/will/is happening. like MJF gives a shit anyway.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 10:44 a.m. CST

    Pull this review and future reviews

    by Zombieflicker

    I think I have a sense of humor, but you fucked with Marty McFly, which doesn't fly. What an asshole.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 10:47 a.m. CST


    by Theta

    Well, I can't say this review actually lowered my expectations for this movie. "Crank" was shit, but it knew it was shit, and you have to love a movie that literally starts with the premise and then just starts sprinting. It sounds like they do the same here, so I'm inclined to give it a shot.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 10:50 a.m. CST

    I'll go on the record...

    by Knugen

    saying CRANK was a lot of fun and this review, while in poor taste was adequate in giving me pause in regards to the film in question, namely Game. The concept is ludicrous and it seems like the execution is amateurish. CRANK worked because everything was over the top. This film just seems out of touch and trying too hard, doing something that nobody in the whole chain of production has a clue about.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 10:51 a.m. CST

    Marty McFly rules.......

    by tristeele

    No one is trying to distract from the movie being good or not. We just think your a fucking idiot for bringing up MJF.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 11:05 a.m. CST

    Someone get these fuckers off Jonah Hex.

    by Knuckleduster

    It seems to be a recurring trend these days. We get shitty DTV movies appearing on the big screen. Surely these Crank guys should be directing the next Steven Seagal hackjob, not films that actually get shown in theatres.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 11:11 a.m. CST

    Moral High Ground Nonesense....

    by D o o d

    I didn't like the MJF joke but I didn't linger on it either. I'm sure the reviewer used it unwisely and that's all. The review itself is pretty good.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 11:17 a.m. CST


    by dr sauch

    True story.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 11:18 a.m. CST

    that michael j fox joke

    by Holodigm

    has me shaking with rage

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 11:40 a.m. CST

    It was funnier than that "Family Guy" gag.

    by Darkman

    I'll say that for him. <br><br> GAME OVER (that *is* a good title) sounds like a waste of a...I don't quite want to throw around the word 'good' to describe the premise, but it is interesting.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 11:42 a.m. CST

    Gerald Butler, fire your agent and manager.

    by Orbots Commander

    Never has a possible rising star gambled his career on so many subsequent crappy movies. After 300, from what I've read, scripts were coming Butler's way furiously. Unfortunately either he or his agent have horrible taste in screenplays. The dude should have been developing something different after an action part, like playing an attorney in a John Grisham adaptation or taking a smaller part in an ensemble cast in an Oscar bait movie. Once you type yourself in action movies, that's all you'll be doing.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, noon CST

    Orbots Commander

    by D o o d

    Well said. He does seem to be doing shitty movies! Guess it's hard to find and spot a good screenplay!

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 12:40 p.m. CST

    From the creators of CRANK and CRANK 2?

    by uberman

    Wow. Thats like having a disease that was spawned by the makers of anal warts and penis rot.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 12:43 p.m. CST

    Don't fuck with Fox!

    by DerLanghaarige


  • Oct. 23, 2008, 1:15 p.m. CST

    i dont get it at all

    by dioxholster

    whats the story about....people controlling each other? why on earth would anyone allow this? this is not a game...this is absurd. video games are supposed to be virtual but this sounds like Yuri going postal.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 1:41 p.m. CST

    Oh well

    by Cobbio

    I wasn't expecting much from this film, and that's apparently what we got. Not much.<p> As a fan of thought-provoking, ass-kicking science fiction, I'll admit "Game" sounded paper thin from the beginning. Video gamers likely dream about this shit as they waste their lives away doing nothing. And *nothing* here means: playing WOW six to ten hours a day, every day, until they're not doing anything except playing WOW. Which is why the premise for this movie is so silly. It's gamer-fantasy spooge splattering the screen.<p> Seriously... fucking yuck.<p> I agree with others: what the hell were you thinking, Michael C. Hall and Gerard Butler? Grab your paychecks, sure, but you can't ignore the fact you're both slumming in teenage-fantasy gamer-porn. It's not even science fiction, really, since good science fiction wouldn't stoop to such a silly, obvious, and contrived idea.<p> Can I make another point? Gaming, as a fad, sucks. I know it allows people to explore fictional heroics in a non-violent way, but when those brainfart impulses infuse artforms that require drama, the result is always faddish and forgettable. Whether it's an Xbox-inspired film or a film like "Game" that pushes to explore gamer fantasy, the result tastes like day-old fast food.<p> Butler will likely put a few people in the seats, but a dramatic, original, well-written, ass-kicking science fiction story would've made a lot more money. Short term profit wins. Oh well.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 1:42 p.m. CST

    Wait a minute...

    by IndyAbbey Jones

    Micheal J Fox isn't even an editor, that joke made no sense<P>i call shenanagens on that reviewer

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 1:57 p.m. CST


    by Cobbio

    I'd urge people to stop focusing on the Michael J. Fox editing comment. Yes, Fox has Parkinson's Disease. So did my uncle. It's pretty much what you think it is: shivery, increasingly uncontrollable movements that make life very difficult for the sufferer. Despite better and more powerful medical treatments for the affliction, augmented by yoga and meditation, there's still no cure.<p> Having held the hand of my uncle on numerous occasions when I was younger, I know he would've laughed pretty damn hard at the Michael J. Fox editing analogy.<p> So please get over it, people. Bring something less politically correct to table here. Because that shit's boring.<p> Thanks.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 2:02 p.m. CST

    I liked Crank

    by Dominic-Vobiscum

    It was exactly what it was trying to be, a big dumb loud action movie. It's not meant to be high art, it's high grade cheese. I stopped reading this review when she said something about Children of Men not needing to cut. Anyone with even a passing interest in that film knows that effect was achieved by editing together multiple takes and clever use of CGI.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 2:11 p.m. CST

    I stopped reading when he said

    by kuryakin

    That Mariah Carey likes scatting <b> THE MAN'S A MONSTER

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 2:18 p.m. CST

    Sexy WHisk

    by kuryakin

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 2:24 p.m. CST

    Sexy Whisk

    by kuryakin

    haha <p> Whoops! <p> What I was trying to say was that you have successfully united the talkbackers and deserve congratulations. <p> Except they are united in thinking you're a tit. <p> But you really can't expect anything other than derision for a 'review' that explained nothing about the film and was full of garbled English, spelling mistakes, the constant use of the word 'shit' to mean 15 different things, as well as the obvious fact that you don't understand the difference between 'who' and 'whom'. In fact, you even make this mistake in your talkback post. <p> I don't expect poetry in a review of what is clearly a cheap and nasty film, but for fuck's sake man, this was shit. <p> Meaning shit

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 2:33 p.m. CST

    MJF joke

    by subtlety

    I love that every time some jerkoff reviewer takes a cheap shot like that and people start posting angry responses, a certain percentage of people leap forward shouting about freedom of speech. Look, for all you constitutional lawyers out there, its not a free speech issue because NO ONE IS SAYING THEY'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DO IT. It's perfectly legal and absolutely within their rights, and frankly I wouldn't want to live in a country where people were not free to reveal what assholes they are by making fun of a terminal cancer patients or hate crime victims or whatever. But that doesn't mean that no one is allowed to respond in kind -- even if you feel like they're wrong. Free speech works both ways... you can't use it to silence critics or tell them they're out of line for responding. Or actually, you can, since that's freedom of speech too. It's just not a valid argument.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 2:58 p.m. CST


    by Cobbio

    Written like a person who's had no experience whatsoever caring for Parkinson's Disease patients, Subtlety. I thought Whisk's analogy was apt, descriptive, and quite funny. It wasn't putting down Parkinson's Disease patients, it was simply describing the visual feel of the film.<p> I don't think Michael J. Fox would give a shit about this particular comment, so why should you?

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 3:09 p.m. CST

    Back to the film...

    by TELF

    The Crank boys and GB have been failing upwards their entire careers. <p>Who has been given more chances than Butler? Then, when he finally gets a hit with 300, he pisses it away with crap like this and Butterfly On A Wheel (straight to fucking cable). I'm, not a fan of his really (he seems to have a distracting speech impediment that affects his sibilants and he's a rather limited actor) but I can totally understand his appeal and it's nice to see a convincingly tough looking guy after years of Farrel, Marky Mark, Jude Law and Bloom getting to do action flicks. I think it's clear, though, that the man is either a dim bulb or has awful, awful taste.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 3:19 p.m. CST

    shit review

    by ragingdrunklove

    totally shit review but i mean..come on...even within the shitty review you can still pick up that there's no way this movie would be any good. it's from the makers of CRANK. CRANK. did anybody see that? it was awful.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 3:23 p.m. CST

    The premise of this movie is fucking stupid

    by Bass Bastardson

    And Crank was a big, steaming, pile of SHIT!

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 3:27 p.m. CST

    Also, I'll bet that all the whiners crying about the Fox joke

    by Bass Bastardson

    Were busy telling the retard coalition to get a sense of humor when Tropic Thunder was under attack. Or go in the Scriptgirl talkbacks every week and talk about wanting to fuck her tits and tape her mouth shut. Now I'm not saying that the joke was funny or in good taste, but what I am saying is that you are all a bunch of fucking hypocrites and need to quit whining like babies.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 4:32 p.m. CST

    Sex is on fire!

    by IndyAbbey Jones

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 5:01 p.m. CST

    Michael J. Fox joke?

    by odo19

    I did'nt know Rush reviewed movies on his spare time.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 6:29 p.m. CST


    by subtlety

    Actually, I would think a shakycam joke would make more sense. What, being jerky made him cut the film too fast and chaotically? Meh.

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 7:16 p.m. CST

    "Actioneer" WTF does that mean?

    by I Dunno

    what is Variety writing for this fucking site now?

  • Oct. 23, 2008, 8:50 p.m. CST

    This is how much attention I'm going to give it:

    by kabong

  • Oct. 24, 2008, 12:20 p.m. CST

    Good times...

    by Mr.FTW

    Someone can post a review of a movie that really doesn't tell you much more that the review just didn't like it but can include a remark that was intented to be funny, whether you find it funny or not is completely subjective, but was regaurless an inflamatory statement. People can jump on the bandwagon of jokes with low brow humor and the review can even come back and say that they wish they had been more inflamatory and bitch out the people whom they offened for being offened and it's all well and good. Over in the coax section if you don't openly state a supposed source to Herc on a site fueled by rumors and clandestine sources you get banned. Nice continuity of what is acceptable they have here. I'm just saying...

  • Sept. 3, 2009, 11:20 a.m. CST

    Sounds good to me.

    by Archive

    So it has the reprehensibility of Crank, but is focused on something? Crank 2 basically ensured I would see this - but this review is cementing it. Winking doesn't make a joke funnier - the best jokes are the ones that take themselves totally seriously. Seems like that's Gamer to a T! Could be, the reviewer is just upset that the cultural elements being satirized hit so close to home... which I can understand. Still, movies like this can inspire geekdom to become more than it is, and to grow out of the most stagnant pools in which our psyches dwell... I'm blathering. Anyway, obese dorks making girls pee is funny.