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Hercules Walks Away From Starz’ Dopey Series CRASH!!
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A drama from writers Glen Mazzara (“Nash Bridges,” “The Shield”), Ted Mann (“Total Recall 2070,” “Skin,” “NYPD Blue,” “Deadwood”) and Randy Huggins (“The Shield,” “The Unit”), “Crash” – like the Oscar-winning movie from which it takes its name and concept (but not characters or actors)– looks into the lives of several interconnected Los Angeles residents: A record producer, his driver, a handful of bad cops, a handful of unhappy wives, a paramedic, etc. Like the movie, the series works to show the good in outwardly racist characters.
As terrible as the 2004 movie was, the pilot is worse, maxed out with extra-obnoxious, cartoonish, low-end TV-grade characters, wince-inducing dialogue, plotting that runs the gamut from amateurish to idiotic, bad acting, sloppy direction and appalling, groan-worthy stabs at comedy. Cars crash, surgeries are performed, sex is indulged, drugs are ingested, but it’s virtually impossible to care about any of the people depicted – surprising in light of the sheer number of players the project introduces.
Entertainment Weekly gives it an “D” and says:
… a swampy mess of ludicrous dialogue, disconnected characters, and offensively stupid plotting. Dennis Hopper, as a nasty, bigoted record-industry mogul who speaks in baroque Tourette's-meets-Beat-poetry paragraphs, is not even the worst of it. Frankly, no one seems to be at the wheel. …
USA Today says:
… it won't take you much longer than Dennis Hopper's opening, venomous rant to decide whether you think this Crash is a good idea. It isn't, but it can teach a few lessons to other cable networks: There's a difference between bravery and stupidity, and just because you're the only outlet brave or stupid enough to do a show doesn't mean it's worth doing.
TV Guide says:
… skitters along the surface of various racial, sexual, class and moral-ethical conflicts without immersing us fully enough in any individual story line. …
The New York Times says:
… hardly the most original depiction of Los Angeles, but “Crash” has a noirish appeal, and ambitions to tell a big story. …
The Chicago Tribune says:
… somewhat reliant on clichés. The show clearly wants to say something complicated about race and class in Los Angeles, but a number of the situations and characters on the show feel like situations and people we've seen before …
The San Francisco Chronicle says:
… neither crackles with excitement nor leaves you wanting to find out about any of the characters. … begins and ends without raising your pulse or making you think. …
The Newark Star-Ledger says:
… an hour of unpleasant yet bland people occasionally bumping into each other and saying racially provocative things. … Despite the requisite car crash, a shooting and Ben trying to start a knife fight, it's a fairly sluggish hour. Much of that again goes to the writing: if I cared more about the people involved, I wouldn't mind a slow pace … unless "Crash" the show improves rapidly, it'll just provide more fuel for the people angered that the movie beat out "Brokeback Mountain" and "Munich" for the big prize.
The Boston Herald says:
There are many bad TV shows on the air, but few genuinely disgusting ones. And then there’s “Crash,” an ungodly mash of nudity, profanity, over-the-top acting and loathsome plotting. … Imagine “Third Watch” if everyone involved were addicted to crystal meth. Oh, and insane. That’s about the only way to make sense of this show. …
The Boston Globe says:
… a show that's madly in love with its own daring and importance. … tries too hard, and fails hard too.
Variety says:
… To the extent a disclaimer is necessary, count me among the detractors in the great "Crash" debate of 2004, having found the movie heavy-handed even as a stylized rendering of Los Angeles. That's almost irrelevant, however, in evaluating this shoddy new series … Messy at best, the two-episode premiere suffers from wildly uneven performances, beginning with Dennis Hopper at his manic worst. …
The Hollywood Reporter says:
… Even more stupefying one-dimensional than the film, the series blasts out a collection of crude, disturbing images without a true unifying theme. No longer an allegory, it has devolved into an excuse to shock and repulse … Like the film that preceded it, the series wants us to believe there is race-baiting danger and mayhem lurking around every corner of our fair metropolis but lacks even the courage of these convictions. The racial fire is oddly muted, the characters disturbingly undefined, the interaction frustratingly nondescript. It's unclear what the show aims to be other than chaotic and boorish. On those counts, sadly, it succeeds brilliantly.
10 p.m. Friday. Starz.
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hahaha, that joke never gets old.>
despite its grating earnestness, i actually enjoyed 2004's Crash. among other things, it confirmed my long-held suspicion that most black people are carjackers. -
Too bad the series is terrible.
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No. Horrible and patronising film. And gave no indication it could work as a series.
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The level of vitriol leveled against Crash after it won best picture was like nothing I've ever seen before or since on AICN, movie-wise.
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It's the worst Best Picture winner of all time.
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The movie beat him over the head so much that he never recovered.
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Crash is probably the second worst Best Picture winner of all time. The worst has to be Bing Crosby's Going My Way, from the 1945 awards. That one was even more heavy handed than Crash.
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I've never understood the antipathy the general AICN population has toward this wonderful movie. Not enough robots I guess.
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Oct 17, 2008 12:12:57 PM CDT
Crash might not have been the best Oscar Winner of all time...
by nalapou
But it was damn sure the best in that category and way the fuck better than Faggot Mountain. Is it as good as Million Dollar Baby, Return of the King, American Beauty, Gladiator, and No Country for Old Men? No.
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when the presence of Dennis Hopper was cool and special? Now, the guy will appear at the opening of an envelope...
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Crash isn't Soap Opera soft lighting/casting and six layers of make-up. It's fucking dark and gritty. This is like basic stuff that someone just out of film school would know. Jesus.
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Classy, very classy. Fuckwit.
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Fuckwit? Classy, very classy. Fucktard.
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Gladiator was by far the worst best-picture winner. that movie straight up sucked. it was popcorn entertainment at best and it won an Oscar?? Crash had a few weak moments (a 7 minute cheesy song ending montage being its biggest misstep) but it was a solid film with some sweet performances.
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That's genius. Nothing better than some good old-fashioned homophobia.
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Are you talking about Harry's Oscar Night Coverage 2006? Type that into the search box and it comes up.
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Keep it simple when your audience is AICN readers, garbageman33. I mean look at you, your fantasy inspiration was a garbageman. You're probs smart.
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Rim me.
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I can't think of another film that so many people hyped up that did nothing for me. It should be mentioned in the same breath as the Marissa Tomei award.
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You a dude? I'm gonna pass, thanks though!
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Self-indulgent, over-the-top melodrama that tries to develop a cast of like eight characters in a hundred minutes, the result being that any character change or shift comes out of nowhere, feels incredibly forced, and you really don't give a shit.
I will suck the dick of anyone who finds ONE conversation in that movie that isn't about how racist society is. Just one. Please. -
Is that the issue of secret and not so secret racism is more prescient than ever with the current election. And yet the Crash show doesn't seem to be able to tap into that truth.
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If not, I think Crash should set the precedent.
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I didn't have the same deep hatred for Crash like some people did but I didn't really like it either, and sure as hell didn't think it deserved an oscar.
>
The show is awful though, boring, cliche, and too in love with its own feeling of importance. The characters are either repulsive or (maybe even worse) uninteresting. The worse part is the show's pedigree includes from such great character based dramas like The Wire, The Shield, and Deadwood which tackled the same subject matter that Crash (the movie and the show) in a much better manner. -
Who's involved in the aforementioned nudity? (Hopefully not Hopper).
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Is that most homophobes I know are big fat guys who can't even get a girl to look at them. And yet, their rationale for being homophobic is that they're afraid gay guys will hit on them. Here's a hint. If girls don't want to fuck you, odds are, guys don't want to fuck you either.
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jump on the bandwagon! I'm not going to watch this show, but I actually really liked the movie and was genuinely moved by it. I had no problem with it winning best picture, except for that horrible dance sequence on the Oscar telecast. I did think Heath Ledger should have won best actor, though.
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No, Crash really didn't deserve the Oscar for Best Picture, but anyone who's ever watched the Academy Awards should realize that the awards RARELY go to the films that truly deserve them. It's a fucking joke.
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Kenneth Turan said it better than anyone else has:"[...]the reality of this film, the reason it won the best picture Oscar, is that it is, at its core, a standard Hollywood movie, as manipulative and unrealistic as the day is long. And something more.For "Crash's" biggest asset is its ability to give people a carload of those standard Hollywood satisfactions but make them think they are seeing something groundbreaking and daring. It is, in some ways, a feel-good film about racism, a film you could see and feel like a better person, a film that could make you believe that you had done your moral duty and examined your soul when in fact you were just getting your buttons pushed and your preconceptions reconfirmed."
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But the worst Oscar ever given: Roberto Benigni. Deny it, bitches!
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...uses words like "faggot".
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At least that film was made in a heavy handed era - we're more literate in cinema nowadays, so a piece of crap like Crash stands out like a sore thumb.
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the worst thing about this, and I never saw crash and have no plans to watch the series, is that it premieres tonight at 8 our time and starz is running it on 6 CHANNELS AT THE SAME TIME!!!!
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Crash is horrible, but No Country For Old Men is a better film? If you ask me, while I consider BOTH movies "Good", I don't think that they deserved to win Best Picture. But then again, the competition was so shitty for both years so it was like choosing the lesser of two evils. Crash gets this crazy backlash and the shit people say about it is ridiculous, it's not a bad movie at all. Tell me what movie should have won? Because Brokeback Mountain was a soap opera with good acting.
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Anyone with an appreciation for real filmmaking could respect Titanic for it's technical aspects. The story may not be for everyone, but it was still a good movie with strong direction and acting.
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There Will Be Blood, Eastern Promises, Michael Clayton (to a certain extent)...shitty?? It was actually a decent year. And then you go on to praise Titanic? The movie was a hit because it managed to appeal to all demographics but it was in essence a very dumb, by-the-numbers summer movie. With such, there was nothing extraordinary about it save for the production itself. LA Confidential was a better movie in all regards, but of course the Oscars is mainly a popularity contest so no surprise who would win.
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... I really liked Crash. You guys are to cynical for your own good, and not a little up yourselves.
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is that it claims to be in the business of shattering stereotypes but is completely populated by stereotypical characters. Crash has only one trick: show a stereotype, and then unexpectedly have the character do something that you don't expect. This would be great if it meant that they fleshed out the characters to show us that people are complex, multi-faceted entities who we do a great disservice to by falsely characterizing. Instead, it just shows us that a one-dimentional character is actually a different one-dimentional character than we first thought. Which is kind of a cheap "gotcha!" move and ultimately fails to give any real perspective. Its one-two punch turnaround on ultra-stereotypical stock characters shocked a few people into thinking they learned something, but the movie actually has almost nothing to say as far as I'm concerned. The TV show version is such a profoundly bad idea that I am almost certain to watch it very soon.
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That may be the single best post about Crash I've seen on this site. See, everyone? See what you can convey without shouting?
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I'll save you two hours of shit: "Racism exists. It is bad." You're welcome.
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I had really heard next to nothing about Crash, hadn't read any talkbacks or anything, so when it won Best Picture I figured I'd check it out. I rented it expecting it to be Best Picture worthy. Turned out to be one of the very, very, very few movies I've ever actually hated. Not disliked, not "meh," hated.
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Since I've always believed that the Oscars are mostly a load of crap and that victory only affirmed it...
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Yep. Who would not watch a show called Titties and Beer.
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Yep.
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Oct 17, 2008 5:50:23 PM CDT
I think Titanic shouldn't have won either evilwizard
by blindambition238
... but that's mainly due to that year being so unusually strong. I felt L.A. Confidential, As Good as It Gets, Good Will Hunting, and Full Monty were more deserving of recognition.
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...is that the characters are SOOO spectacularly racist that it feels unrealistic.
So much so that I believe the writers to be, themselves, racist. -
was a movie that shouldn't have won. But givin some of the other movies that won, well, I guess that's not surprising.
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Traffic did not win best picture.
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Joke or not, that's a terribly fucked up thing to say, and I've seen less get people banned.
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Should have run the table, as Gloria Stuart and Kate Winslet were seriously hosed. Winslet in particular was on the wrong end of a little nationalism, IMO. Helen Hunt was the only American nominee in best actress that year. The other four were British. Hose job.
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People that like the movie Crash are fucking idiots (and probably Scientologists as well).
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Due to it's strong competition, I can't really say I think it deserved to win Best Picture, but it certainly deserved many of its Oscars and was actually a great movie. Crash on the other hand? The most insulting type of Oscar-bait there is. Titanic was leagues ahead of that garbage.Titanic backlash: undeserved. Crash backlash: Right fucking ON.
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Didnt she lose to Basinger for LA confidential? Winslet deserves every award she gets thrown at her and them some.
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Its just that I feel that the films it had to compete with that year happened to be a lot better.
I can, and often do go back to watch it sometimes, but not as often as LA Confidential, Good Will Hunting, Full Monty, and As Good as It Gets.
But still a hell of a lot better than Crash, Chicago, Beautiful Mind, and Shakespeare in Love. All of which I totally forgot about until I looked them up. -
Anyone who actually thinks "Crash" worthy of something other than outright derision should be forced to watch that episode of South Park 100 times. That 20 minutes of animated commentary does a better job of getting to the heart of U.S. race relations than Haggis' bloated can't-we-all-just-get-along kumbayah claptrap.
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why is L.A. singled out? this while country is a "racial powder-keg" if you ask me
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You can all take your self righteous "I am better than you because I didn't like it" attitudes and cram them.
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Oh... Naggers... Of course, Naggers... right...
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LA also gets nuked to kingdom come every other year...
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I don't know Herc, maybe you prefer Brokeback Mountain instead.
It's no Do the right thing by any means, but most of the situations are very credible indeed. And yes, LA is racist not as racist as PA however. -
...you say the movies terrible which I disagree with so I don't know if I can get on board with your review. Probably is shit but I'll decide for myself.
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I didn't think it was best picture-worthy... but also didn't think it was universal hate-worthy. I just thought it was a better than average time-killer.
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I didn't think it was best picture-worthy... but also didn't think it was universal hate-worthy. I just thought it was a better than average time-killer....But I do think that a TV show with the same concept is a bad idea...the "crosses" worked in the movie, but in a TV show that is on every week...they'd start to get stupid.
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Oct 18, 2008 9:44:33 AM CDT
Maybe you should watch this before you say it's overblown
by garbageman33
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRqcfqiXCX0
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The level of vitriol for the movie seemingly comes from two things: (1) the fact it actually dealt with racism in a way that differed from the usual Hollywood "Afterschool Special" manner; (2) the fact that a lot of people were waaay too invested in "Brokeback Mountain" winning to send some sort of "message". This isn't to say "Brokeback" was a bad movie but the people taking personal umbrage at its' failure to win are really just the "gay rights" version of Star Wars nerds who think they can't like LOTR or Star Trek too.
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if you like the film, and you can pretend it actually has something meaningful to say, instead of just a bunch of manipulative scenes, then fine.but you can't deny that it stole the Oscar, buy wielding Scientology influence. and before you argue, look into it a little. google is your friend.
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Brokeback was robbed.
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was that everybody in the movie was a racist, which differed from the following Hollywood norms: racists are evil and uncomplicated, they're just angry white hillbillies; black people aren't racist, and if they are its because the white man has been bringing them down their whole life; racism is blatant and outward, and cannot quietly develop subconciously and express itself backhandedly. In these ways, i thought the movie was well-done. However, I agree that it was at times pretty melodramatic, a little after-school special-y, and most of all, a hour and a half long guilt trip about how we're racist if we assume a guy dressed like a thug might have criminal tendencies. Brokeback Mountain was a much better film.
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they was not ready to make a movie about gay cowboys best picture
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turned into a shittier TV show. I guess that's news in as much as it didn't seem possible to make something shittier than Crash, using that same premise, and yet Starz did. Huzzah and kudos to the folks over at Starz, for making the movie Crash worse than it already was.
I'm a pretty staunch liberal with a fair amount of white liberal guilt but even I shuddered when Hollywood's white liberal's gave this steaming pile of shit an Academy Award for best picture. Jesus Christ. -
thanks pal! For the record, I am all for films which explore the complexities of race relations (hell, its the subject of my thesis and a significant part of my work). 'Crash', though, just strikes me as manipulative rather than thoughtful. It wants to challenge your preconceptions by making you think one thing, then turning it around. Which is a great lesson in the way we stereotype as a matter of course without even realizing it. Unfortunately, it turns out to be the only thing the movie is capable of doing; by the 5th or 6th time this happens, there's nothing much left to say. The real stake in the heart of the flick is that once it's pulled its bait-and-switch trick, it has nothing more to say about the characters. They just become different stock characters than we first thought they were. Using the characters as archetypes in this way certainly doesn't help race relations any; you're just substituting one stereotype for another. In my book, "Brokeback" is the superior film because it humanizes its characters rather than just using them as props to deliver a sermon. "Brokeback" SHOWS us why we should care about these people and treat them humanely -- because they are people, just like us. "Crash" uses ten times the plot of "Brokeback" but in the end is all bluster, with no humanity. It TELLS us what it thinks, rather than simply laying out the story and letting the audience come to the conclusion naturally. Which is a far inferior method of communication, in my book.
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Except that it also had it's "over the top lesson" moments including, of course, the whole ending where Jack gets gay bashed to death. Again, this doesn't mean that BM was not a good movie. But let's not pretend it wasn't also manipulative in its own way.
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After reading the description followed by many people's reviews reinforcing what I suspected from it, I could never bring myself to watch the movie. I get curious from time to time since it has been at the top of the netflix list for so long now, but it just sounds so bad. Here's a clue, anyone who obsesses on race is a racist, including your PC types and the people who are behind this film. And anyone who thinks everyone is just seething with racist thoughts just below the surface is plain paranoid and they need to get a hobby. Either way, fuck the movie and fuck the show. The best way to defeat racism is to move on and stop dwelling on the past.
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Geez. It's one thing to say "from the reviews it doesn't sound like my type of film." It's quite another to describe exactly why you hate a movie, what the movie is about and the motivations of the people you made it as if you've actually seen the thing.
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I couldn't believe that was true, so I looked it up, and I guess it is. that is sad.hilarious, thoguh, were some of the comments on the article listing Crash as #1. here's my favorite:
"Seeing as anything Paul Haggis touches is bloated, forced, and just plain trite, and given recent news that 25% of Americans haven't read a book in the past year, I would be surprised if Crash and Million Dollar Baby weren't in the top 10."priceless! -
oh, certainly. It's not that "Brokeback" doesn't have a message to get across. It just feels much more earned to me than "Crash" does because by the time the end comes, th echaracters have been pretty carefully developed and humanized. They're not just counting on out repulsion of violence on a philosophical level; they know its upsetting because its violence directed at a specific person we feel like we've known and have come to care about. But you're right, I hope no one would deny that "Brokeback" is also in the business of trying to manipulate you. But then again, I think all great movies have a point to make; its just that some make it more gracefully than others. I can definitely see someone feeling like "Brokeback" is overly manipulative, (although to me, it feels pretty legitimate, in terms of direction, story, and character) but surely whatever you feel about "Brokeback" it pales in comparison to the absolutely shameless "Crash." Thats all I'm trying to say.
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Perhaps it is a good movie. I'm just saying that I have no interest in watching it based on the description and user reviews. It just sounded so bad, that I couldn't believe it (or any other movie for that matter) could be #1 for so long on Netflix. Especially since I don't know anybody who thought this movie was anything better than ok. If I want to watch a good movie on racism, I'll rewatch American History X.
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its getting hard out there for a pimp
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Oct 20, 2008 10:58:50 AM CDT
Crash is a weak film but worst best pic ever? Please.
by jackrabbitslim
Try watching films pre 1970 and you have Oliver (1968 was it?) and worst imo Greatest Show On Earth in 1951 or so. Seriously - suggesting Gladiator or even Crash is worse than that Cecil B DeMille cheeesefest is silly.
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