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‘I Hear They, Like, Spray Diarrhea Everywhere!!’ SURVIVOR Tonight Makes Its 2-Hour HD Debut !!
SPOILER ALERT !!
I am – Hercules!!
Holy possible kill-screen! “Surivor: Gabon,” the first edition of the pioneering reality show to be shot and broadcast in HD, will see track star and 2004 Olympic gold medalist Crystal Cox pitted against current international champion of Nintendo's Super Smash Brothers Melee video game Ken Hoang!
Why is track part of the Olympics but not Nintendo's Super Smash Brothers Melee?
This season we also get two female medical sales reps (a job rapidly replacing bartending as the hottest of all reality-show contestant occupations) as well as two lawyers, an M.D., a model and a pro trainer.
13 of the 18 contestants are 29 or younger.
14 of the 18 contestants are 32 or younger.
One-third of the contestants make their homes in Southern California.
At least one-third of the 18 contestants look really good in bikinis:
Kelly Czarnecki, 22, salesgirl, Buffalo Grove, Ill.
Michelle Chase, 24, production assistant, Los Angeles.
(Michelle provides the title of this post.)
Paloma Soto-Castillo, 24, student, Downey, Calif.
Jacque Berg, 25, medical sales, Santa Barbara, Calif.
Corinne Kaplan, 29, pharmaceutical sales, Los Angeles.
(Emmy-winner Jeff Probst says: “not likeable.”)
Jessica Kiper, 29, model, Brooklyn, N.Y.
There's also:
Ken Hoang, 22, pro gamer, Westminster, Calif.
Danny Brown, 26, maintenance man, Portland, Ore.
Ace Gordon, 27, salesman, Naples, Fla.
Marcus Lehman, 28, doctor, Atlanta.
Crystal Cox, 29, Olympic gold medalist, Durham, N.C.
Charlie Herschel, 29, lawyer, New York, N.Y.
Matty Whitmore, 29, pro trainer, Pacific Palisades, Calif.
Dan Kay, 32, lawyer, Boston.
Susie Smith, 47, hairdresser, Charles City, Iowa
Randy Bailey, 49, viedeographer, Eagle Rock, Mo.
Robert Crowley, 58, physics teacher, Portland, Maine.
Gillian Larson, 61, retired nurse, Temecula, Calif.
Judge the bikini-worthiness of the other 12 contestants here.
The season’s first three minutes:
8 p.m. Thursday. CBS.
Judge the bikini-worthiness of Colleen Haskell, Elisabeth Filarski, Jenna Morasca:
Clark Kent: The Early Years!!
The Best Superman Stories In Decades!!
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Chicks in bikinis with The Scoots? Oddly enough, I'd probably watch that. Nothing like a bit of Trouser Chili to liven up a night of television.
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what a waste
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I don't give a shit if Herc doesn't watch it; it's super popular!
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Gordon Ramsay is a FAR better fit for the AICN format than fucking Ugly Betty!
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Biggest show on TV! I want a Grey's talkback every week or I swear to Christ I'll start reading Grey's Anatomy websites for my Grey's Anatomy news. In addition to Herc's column, of course.
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Stupid fucking show, but I'd rather talk about that every week than Ugly Betty and Grey's Anatomy.
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Herc, could you please clog up your column with every shitty show on TV? That way people will stop reading your column in a big hot hurry.
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Keep those bikinis coming!!
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Our long national standard-definition nightmare is over. This and Amazing Race are the two shows I've longed to see get the upgrade.
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MTV's The Island is even better. If you like Survivor, you should give definitely give it a look.
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Except The Island has twice as many crazy hot swimsuit girls - and a big zero on the crone/codger index. Love both shows though.
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makes me think dark thoughts
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I'm guessig likeability is not a huge priority. Nor should it be.
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This is the show for which the format should have been invented! Go Donkey-Kong Nerd!
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"Why is track part of the Olympics but not Nintendo's Super Smash Brothers Melee?"Ummm, because Smash Brothers is a fighting game and not based on the Olympics in any way? Mario was in one Olympics based game, Smash Brothers isn't the same game!!
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you all can go home now
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this is what a TB full of fucking losers looks like...
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this is what a fucking loser looks like that calls TB'ers losers.
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I mean photos.
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Only "reality" show I watch. I did watch the Amazing Race the season my Production Assistant won though. Lucky bastard.
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people here constantly whine about how terrible network tv is and yet all this praise for this shit? interesting. granted the talkback is still a newborn so the hate might be coming later.
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Occasionally they cast a few too many flakes, but overall it's a great game and a real test of strength, smarts and social skills.
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Zzzzz. Yes, I'm apparently one of those 'trolls' who have nothing better to do than clog up talkbacks with complaints about shows I have absolutely no interested in. Vote me out, bitches.
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Sep 25, 2008 2:26:31 PM CDT
where are the Big Brother, Dancing With the Stars, The Hills
by turketron
talkbacks and every other talkback about vapid shows that really don't warrant discussion of any kind? Please give us those and never one for Dexter or Supernatural. I don't care if reality tv shows are guilty pleasures, can they really generate much constructive discussion?
BTW, the smash bros melee champ? WTF? I love that fucking game, wasted many hours playing it and owning my roomates in college... but why the hell is he on this show. I almost have to watch just to see this guy... and the bikini clad women. Please feel free to attack my hypocrisy. -
...were such articulate, thoughtful and genuinely likable people?
What rotten bitches. I swear, I suspect the real reason I watch this show is to see them starve, suffer and ultimately get kicked off and have to return to their superficial little lives (unless CBS cheats and keeps them on so the hot dumb chicks win again like last season). -
Make it about Supernatural. 9:00 ET, CW. Watch it.
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Trolling and posting off-topic are against the site rules!
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Out of control. Ban their asses, Harry!
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shows on TV. I'm down with the whole banning the asshole troll idea!
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I read Herc's (excellent) column every day, but is it the only part of AICN you guys read?
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Well overdue, if you're to ask me.
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Make it happen, Herc or Harry!
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Most people would say M2K is the current Melee champ. And don't even bring up this Mango bullshit. anybody know what I'm talking about?
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... the hell ... ???
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Hmmm.
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Do Not Disturb on Fox; three episodes and done. http://tinyurl.com/426kmj
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Possibly the dumbest tribe in Survivor history? Besides picking moms first (mo's before bro's) they apparently have never watched the show before and don't know that you keep the strong, young people around to win challenges! So we get an extra episode of annoying cheerleader grandma and the smoking hot chick whose crotch had to be blurred is out first!
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Sep 25, 2008 9:29:48 PM CDT
Just when I was getting used to her acne in HD, too.
by flim springfield
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I was totally smitten with that girl, why'd she have to go first?!?
Guh, why do they keep picking these people who make stupid strategic choices? When are they going to learn that what's interesting about the show isn't the "odd couple" element, but when people actually make strategies - I mean, if you had two tribes made up of Ozzies and Rob "the smartest player to have never won Survivor" Cesterninos, it would make the most compelling fucking show on television..
But no, the pick idiots who vote out a strong player because she's annoying after losing two physical challenges out of the gate.
And she was the cutest girl in the whole damn game - for the first time in HD!
Burnett!!!!!! -
Because she practically had a checklist of things to say to insult everyone on the tribe and alienate them right before voting? I know they already planned to vote her out, but she made sure none of them second guessed the decision.
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The FANG tribe is the biggest group of idiots I've seen on this show. Crystal doesn't look or perform (so far) like anything resembling an Olympic track star. KOTA should just cream these folks. Professor Bob is cool and smart...like Yuo Ming. Looks great in HD...about time, CBS!
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Chet? Ice cream boy? That guy who gave his idol away to the girls who voted him out? The fans from fans vs favorites were by far the dumbest tribe ever. This new tribe is only kinda dumb by comparison.
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What's that....wrong Survivor, you say?
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She was cute but didn't seem to do anything to get on anyone's good side (except for Ken). Maybe we just didn't see it but she could have tried to work a few people to get them on her side. Maybe they thought she wasn't tough enough to hack it. But Courtney the Stick was twice as skinny and lasted right to the end; if she can do it, anyone can.Glad to see Fang wised up and got rid of Gillian on their second vote.
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is me plowing Amber's ass while she chowed down on Colleen Haskell while Jenna Morasca and Elisabeth Filarski 69'd in the background.
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i laughed when the olympic track star couldnt get up a hill....and then blamed it on her heavy shoes..lmao.....and they vote out the hot chick that was the first female up the hill....that track star reminds me of the female wrestler that was supposed to dominate that one season and was the first one out , i think.
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glad they got rid of gillian, after a while every time she spoke i thought "mrs doubtfire" and i think robin williams was a bettr version....and can they get anyone gayer than that lawyer....at least in previous seasons, u knew a guy was gay but not that outwardly gay in voice and how he carries himself....at least they balanced out the old and gay with a nice bevy of hot girls, love corrine, and sugar(from NY, yay)actually looks better than how she looked in her pre-game interview...that ACE guy is annoying as hell....cocky fucks annoy me
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like Johnny Fairplay
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...is a stone idiot.
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:P This show still holds up and it always will. So hey, christian66, GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!! ☺
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may be the worst ever assembled on Survivor. The minute Crystal (The tall, black Olympian runner who couldn't run) picked the old-bag housewife as her pick when there sidelines were loaded with tall, athletic guys, I knew they were dead. It's as if these people have never watched the show before they get there .... always go strength for the first half season. Worry about the politics after youre sure you'll have the numbers at merge.
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The runner is still going to wind up in some girl vs girl wrestling type competition where she will kick the shit out of the other team, even if she obvioulsy spent the years since winning the Olympics eating donuts on the couch.Was it just me, or did the gay lawyer seem completely straight when they started and then snapped and turned into a flamboyant gay stalker when he got alone with his alliance guy? Perhaps he was planing on a strategy where he wouldn't come off as gay, but he simply can't control his mannerisms around his dreamy man? I'm not knocking him for being gay, just observing what seemed like a massive change in his manner during the show. Did I just overlook it during intros?
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I am convinced that this is faked to a major degree. They sprayed a large area with insecticide so there are no bugs to bite the contestants. All the shots are of animals hundreds of miles away. After all we don't want them scratching all the time or to catch something nasty do we? Then they made an artificial pond, stocked it with safe fish and probably added some iodine or something so it's safe to swim in. No way do you swim in anything in Gabon that is safe! I am tired of all the stupid puzzles, for which they have an army of workers hidden somewhere.
Also getting the senior contestants, who then are asked to hustle in demanding physical challenges, so they are playing with a possible stroke. There is more, but this is enough. Fake, Fake, Fake!
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