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Hercules Declares NBC’s KNIGHT RIDER Fall's Worst New Scripted Hourlong So Far!!
SPOILER ALERT !!
I am – Hercules!!
Last February’s horrible “Knight Rider” TV-movie has spawned an equally horrible series scripted by “Las Vegas”/”The Fast and the Furious” creator Gary Scott Thompson.
The first episode’s plot involves a nebbish who’s both smart enough to encode a digital secret into his DNA and stupid enough to encode a digital secret into his DNA (where anybody can get at it via a hair follicle, a Q-tip swab of his inner cheek, or a wholly unnecessary dismemberment).
There’s also a platoon of super-scientists and a car with a supercomputer brain. None of them can figure out that a flaming car can be extinguished by driving it into the nearest pool of water found on Google Maps.
Also, even though there’s a flaming car motoring down the highway at 300 mph, no one bothers to alert the cops (or the fire department). Mannequin-like actors rattle off lazy, clichéd dialogue and miserable excuses for quippery. It’s so relentlessly puerile 12-year-olds will dismiss it as a show for 8-year-olds.
I can't call it the worst hourlong because Fox, gods love it, already premiered "Hole in the Wall."
Those with access to the Internet have been able to watch the series’ preposterously banal first episode since last week, but now – in anticipation of the show’s official premiere tonight – the critics weigh in with their appraisals.
USA Today gives it one star (out of four) and says:
… There is much to despise in Knight Rider, a shockingly incompetent, barely coherent, ad-driven rip-off … Instead of just aiming the show at children, maybe NBC should let them write and perform it. They could hardly do worse.
The New York Times says:
… a staggering bore …
The Los Angeles Times says:
… Unlike the darkly reconceived "Battlestar Galactica" or the also darkly reconceived but ill-fated "Bionic Woman," and notwithstanding an ominously dark hole in Mike's memory, the remade "Knight Rider" is fundamentally of a piece with its predecessor. As drama and as spectacle, and with a remarkable lack of irony, it re-creates the cheesy sci-fi adventure from the 1980s. …
The Chicago Sun-Times says:
… The only thing that KITT (voiced by Val Kilmer, who delivers every line so flat, you'd swear someone hooked up the Hal 9000 from "2001: A Space Odyssey" to a morphine drip) can't do is write a better script. Like the Edsel, this "Knight Rider" remount is one heck of a lemon. … I'd be inclined to dismiss this as lighthearted children's fare, like David Hasselhoff's original "Knight Rider" from the '80s, but the violence, dialogue and skin shown on this version aren't exactly kid-friendly. Not even kids should have to suffer through this, though. Here's hoping KITT and crew get booted.
The Washington Post says:
… Zzzzzz. …
The San Francisco Chronicle says:
… heinously bad. It's the kind of bad that sells cheese or gets entertainment presidents fired - one or the other, or both. Of course, anyone who would watch "Knight Rider" anyway - given the show's history of low expectations and the NBC movie that reinvented it - probably knows what they're getting into and won't mind that it's spectacularly awful. For some people, taste is not a choice in life. … probably the dumbest show of the season …
The Salt Lake Tribune says:
… an insipid, banal and cheap-looking remake of the David Hasselhof action series that plays more like a 60-minute Ford commercial. … a car show strictly for the junk yard.
The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette says:
… Above all, the show is just sloppy. A plane lands in Washington, D.C., and there are mountains surrounding the runway. The Knight Industries team learns two members may burn to death and they respond with big smiles, saying, "This just got interesting!" … the show gives us no reason to care, in part because Bruening's performance is often tentative and borderline wooden. …
The Boston Globe says:
… a vacuous vicious circle that is almost comically nonsensical - almost. The NBC show wants to be high-octane fun, something like Matt Damon's Jason Bourne movies with a Batmobile, but it's so poorly directed and listlessly acted … Everything - the characters, the action - seems stubbornly flat. The atmosphere of "Knight Rider" is certainly artificial, but it's not very intelligent.
The Associated Press says:
… lots of cartoony gunplay, explosions and turbocharged computer effects. Bad guys who go, "We can do this the easy way, or the very, very hard way." And a missing data "package" that (as we are repeatedly told) is "vital to national security." … the real inspiration is the product-placement deal struck with a major auto maker. "Knight Rider" isn't so much an action-adventure show as a high-octane commercial. …
Variety says:
The "Knight Rider" revival movie set the bar low in terms of expectations, and damned if the series premiere still doesn't go skidding under it. Frankly, this convoluted hour sent me scurrying to NBC's website looking for clarification about the plot, but -- whew, what a relief -- there really isn't much of one. … NBC got lucky once, but even with marginal competition it's hard to imagine there's much left in the tank for this as a series -- unless, perhaps, gas shoots back above $4 a gallon and people yearn for the cheap, vicarious thrill of watching somebody else waste fuel.
The Hollywood Reporter says:
… Of course, everything that made the original fun and unique has effectively been scrubbed away from this new edition that's all about high-tech gadgetry, speed and sex and only the tiniest shred about story and personality. The gambit surrounding KITT the talking car is no longer a gimmick so much as a device to attach a James Bond-ish edge to an hour devoid of soul. …
8 p.m. Wednesday. NBC.
The Complete (Earlier) Series!!
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they lost me when they replaced Will Arnett with Val Kilmer. I would have loved to her KITT say "Really... her? C'mon!"
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Thieves!
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Though I think that cool whip commercial is more interesting than this show.
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Sep 24, 2008 2:14:33 PM CDT
What would people say if the first knight rider debuted now?
by cotton mcknight
Of course it was ridiculous but it was popular with my generation. I don't really know where I am going with this other than to say that it seems that critics and "grown ups" look at these things with jerk colored glasses. As for me, if the original kitt came back with William Daniels, I would watch it. Naysayers be damned.
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SERIOUSLY.
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Dude...the Knight Foundation base has a basketball court. I almost turned it off when the crew chuckled (YES CHUCKLED) when they found out KIT and Michael and his ex-girlfriend/scientist(Forget her name on purpose)where going to burn alive. The only thing that woke me up from this was when the hotty from the Shield showed up. But then she even participates in the stupidity. Michael lets her(SOMEONE HE DOESN'T KNOW DURING HIS RETRIEVAL MISSION) walk up to him, kick him in the balls and kidnap the DNA guy. Wow, amazingly cool strategy. All the while kit just sits there as this all happens and lets her drive away. There are just some many things WRONG with this thing it makes my head heart...the transforming isn't cool its incredibly fake and unnecessary...this isn't Transformers the TV Show(Though that might be cool) This is fucking Knight Rider. Magnum P.I. if Magnum's Ferrari could talk. This guy is as cool as the center of the earth. Sci Fi channel wouldn't air this. What the hell is NBC airing it for???
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It's not like we didn't know it going in. The movie was terrible, and, inevitably, the show would be too.
NBC, you should have stuck with the Bionic Woman and Journeyman. BIG MISTAKE. -
Sure it was pretty bad, but it was sooo much stupid fun. Maybe its because I loved the original despite it being pretty bad too (hey, I was 12, target audience!). I think they did a very good job of making it an updated version of a very very cheesy show. Not everything needs to be another Shield or Mad Men or even BSG.
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so it's bad?
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We need Michael to disappear...again...show lets just risk the mission and shoot him and let the girl who works for an organization trying to fuck up the planet just casually board a train and get away...ON A TRAIN TRACK KIT IS STILL BLOCKING!!!!!!
I repeat...this show sucks. Thank God for Life, SVU, House, The Shield, Always Sunny, Fringe, Lost, Burn Notice, Psych, The Unit, Family Guy, Venture Brothers, and the BILLIONS of other shows better than this. -
Shakycam, a 9/11 topic that never mentions 9/11 because it's science fiction and an episode where one of the main character dies from cancer, but got just in time cured from it, because they find out that KITTs fuel can cure cancer.
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it's not like the original was deep, this show is shallow but fun... i can't imagine knight rider going the BSG route... haha
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Lets just drive straight. Sure...wait what did you say...perfect time to use the turbo boost?...the COOLEST thing about K.I.T.T.? Naw...lets just drive regular speed. Besides...the turbo boost makes K.I.T.T. just jump up not forward...COMPLETELY DEFYING THE LAWS OF PHYSICS....I smell something is...is it Emmy? Wait no...its Shit. Grade A, penut filled gorilla shit.
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Please?
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sigh...a fucking basketball court man. What the fuck is next, t-shirts? Foam fucking fingers? Coffee mugs?
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Herc, I disagreed with you on the Andy Richter comedy last year, but I couldn't agree more with you here. What I find absolutely stunning about the first episode of the Thompson retooled Knight Rider was a statement he made awhile back when announced as showrunner. I won't quote because I can't remember exactly how he phrased it, but it was something to the tune of 'the pilot movie was so bad, I'm really going to make this much better'. Now, I didn't like the pilot movie in February when it aired, but this new "Fast and Furious" Knight Rider makes that pilot movie look like the John Adams miniseries. It is truly a colossal failure on every level one might use to measure quality. Dialogue, acting, direction, characters, story, set design...it's all extraordinarily bad. This will be the first show of the new season that is cancelled. If Silverman doesn't lose his job over allowing this to see the light of day, then there is no justice.
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Watch this and then watch like House.
Its the equivalent of watching a scientist recreate the big bang with a supercollider four foot ball fields long in an attempt to discover the origins of matter and then watching a drooling retard realize that he's the one making the room go bright and dark when he flips the light switch on the wall.
You go ahead and figure out which show is the retard. -
Sep 24, 2008 2:45:17 PM CDT
I am a Knight Rider fan and I think this show sucks balls.
by namasteandgoodluck
I loved the original. Yeah, it was cheesy and maybe it was a commercial for Pontiac but there was still something good about it. The intro always got me pumped...even today I wish I could be that guy who stands up for "the helpless, the powerless in a world of criminals that operate above the law". I really believed that"one man can make a difference". I found the storylines that stuck in my head from that show "epic"; Garthe Knight (Hasselhoff with the Mirror Universe Spock goatee), KARR...okay, basically that was everything worth taking from that series. But it was good. This current crapfest is Team Knight Rider, or (since it's riding coattails) Nut Rider...cuz it's surely on Knight Riders nuts!
Everything about this show is terrible. What they've done to the car is crap. The whole low budget Transformers bit is the worst thing I've ever seen. The attack mode from the pilot looked great, why they changed it is beyond me; the fake engine mods, the stupid blue lights...whoever redesigned the car is a fucking idiot. The dialogue was fucking terrible. The sets look like shit. EVERYTHING about this show is worthless. Banal. Idiotic. Not even being a child with a total suspension of disbelief could keep me watching this drivel.
My advice to all who may potentially lose their jobs because of this travesty (Particularly the showrunner who already got canned once this year for the equally bad Vegas show): Get your heads out of your asses. Seriously. Absolutely nothing about this first episode has been good. Not the cast. Not the car. Not the effects. Nothing. NBC will terminate this project after just a few episodes. The economic climate for the industry does not allow for money to be wasted on poor production.
Gary Scott Thompson, pay attention because you are seriously fucking off your career. You already have one huge fuck up under your belt; if you fuck up what could be a huge franchise for NBC you will be black listed in this industry. I promise. Take heed. -
Because I've never heard of the show until the Emmys and I feel a little bit betrayed that nobody told me about a show by Vince Gilligan, in which Malcolm's Dad plays a wannabe-Drugdealer.
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my first rule with movie and tv critics is: If a critic hates it, its probably very good. movie and TV critics generally hate anything that doesnt stimulate the brain..they underestimate that the viewing public, especially internet nerds that just watch shows for hot girls..**cough**CHUCK**cough** will watch for hot sexy girls and explosions....its nice that one of the critics mentioned BSG...a show that is great , but if an episode did not have a space battle of some sort, was called "filler" and cries of boredom crossed the internet.... i will watch the show bias free and probably like it...my DVR is packed this season, good shows pressing at the seams, should be a good year
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"Its best sequence? There’s a moment when K.I.T.T. attempts to console someone who has lost her father. It’s a machine…an AI…and doesn’t know how to relate to raw emotions, so all it can do is try to be there for her by using (literally) textbook examples and research materials. K.I.T.T. feels very much like vintage Spock in this script. There’s a coldness to it, but also a sweet charm."
aintitcool.com/node/34497 -
You know the guy who did FTF...all you fuckers will bow down to my genius once KN is a runaway success.
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best one-word review
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He was talking about the SCRIPT for the pilot and this wouldn't be the first time that something looks much, much better on paper.
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Dumb
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Such high expectations for a redo of a 80's show that features, wait for it, a talking car. I think KITT should become a crime scene investigator to give the show some merit.
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That was Merrick, not Herc... please read your own link
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Does anyone care what newspapers say about anything anymore? Even you lefty loons who run this site have to agree that its a dead medium.
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at 4-8 year old demographic...
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The tv 'special' was abysmal and even with a revamp this was always going to be putting lipstick on a pig, to use the current idiom.
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It took its plots and characters serious enough to focus the story on them. The gimmicks of the car were the added bonus to hook the audience in. Yeah, it wasn't high-brow or always great TV, but it made for a fun series and indelible pop-cultural icons. This new series is solely focused on the horrendously bad gimmicks of the car with little regard to the characters. The original wasn't Shakespeare, but this remake ain't even Harlequin novel.
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The two hour movie was the biggest piece of crap I've ever seen on TV. I can't believe someone read it and said "This is great! Let's make it!" That person needs a big dope slap. There was nothing redeeming about Knight Rider, so wow golly gee, you make a hour-long show from the premier of a 2-hour made for TV movie that completely sucked... hmmm. One definition of insanity is doing the same exact thing twice expecting a different result.
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That show is so fucking bad. I tried my best to like it, and stuck it out for 2 seasons, but finally turned it off halfway through this season's premiere. I won't turn it back on. Garbage writing, worse acting. And Ando can't even speak Japanese right.
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I just have to laugh at the misplaced brio, the sheer, unadulterated braggadocio with which Gary Scott Thompson lashed out at the quality of the TV movie and then proceeded to guarantee he would make a better show, just short of the maniacal laugh. That thud wasn't you dropping your big nuts on the table, Gary. That was the shit that is this show so heavy it plummets straight to bottom of the bowl.
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So Knight Rider can still win!
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GST said "I have a mantra that's in the writers' room which is "Fast, Furious, Fun." And the other one is "Embrace your inner twelve-year-old." Twelve-year-olds are extremely sophisticated now. They all have cel phones, they all run computers, they all have seen Transformers and all these movies that we're going to emulate. If someone starts going down a path, they go "embrace your inner twelve-year-old". Or don't foget "fast, furious, fun." That's what we want to do. We want to have fun with this. And still have a mythology, and still have really cool characters and a great dynamic between them." So he was certainly going for the 12 year old demographic and has still mangaed to screw things up? I also like the when he said the following about himself
aintitcool.com/?q=node/36660 "I'm the guy who wrote The Fast and the Furious, I have a reputation, and that reputation's going to be on this show so I need to make it cool." Really you have to wonder what NBC are upto the last good show from them was Journeyman and they fucking cancelled it, assholes deserve all the shitty show curse for at least another few years for pulling a stupid stunt like that. -
...nobody likes the new Knight Rider.
I did. I thought it was a fun show about a talking car. Just like I remember when I was a kid. I hope it lasts longer than 1 season.... -
is $23.00 Babylon 5 season sets. That's cheap.
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This is a show about a talking car. What could anyone possibly expect? They keep crap like this on, and cancel "Firefly?"
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I mean, besides the Germans, of course. Stunning!
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"Shit sandwich"
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I seriously don't know what the hell NBC was thinking when they gave the greenlight on this show. Who the fuck are the targeting here? Definitely not fans of the original show. Action fans? No. little kids? doubt it. Now women. A Knight Rider show just can't work in today's age. and this steaming pile of shit...it's hitting the can after one season, if that. Just wait.
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And Jason Bateman. And Portia DeRossi. With Michael Cera as a teenage sidekick.
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But I enjoyed the stupid movie last year. I have no way to back it up, I just liked it so what.
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Sep 24, 2008 4:40:12 PM CDT
At least they didn't reinvent Michael or the car as a female.
by wintocha67
Stardoe anyone?
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and will come back as garthe knight and destroy this puny remake with lazors from his moustache of evilness!!! JUST YOU WAIT AND SEE!!!
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Does the car go back in time?
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the new 'attack kitt' DID NOT ATTACK ANYTHING.
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and can drive itself... why does he take the when when he gets in the car??
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wheel...not when...
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mindless fun. too many supporting characters but the scientist chick stripping was much appreciated. better than THE TIME GUARDIAN which is on MGM downstairs.
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massacred Heroes over there. was that bad feelings left over from season two or does season 3 smell of shit already? won't air this side vof the pond until next week
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Kidding!
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no shit
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Hard to believe.
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i said this over in a previous talkback... if they just wanted to recapture a bit of the old 'Hoff' vibe with bad dialogue, soap actors, and lame plots designed just to show off the 'actors' skin - then why dont they just bring back Baywatch? The Hoff's kid as a grown up police forensic beach detective lifeguard. CSI:Baywatch. i cant believe they havent tried it yet.
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It sucks? Hmmm. Didn't see that one coming
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it got huge ratings because NBC advertised the shit out of it. People watched it because of the curiousity factor. Because the pilot, crappy though it was, got huge ratings; NBC naturally assumed that a series would also be a big hit. Most definetly not.
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Best post ever. No, actually, best Babylon 5 ad posted ever.
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"It’s so relentlessly puerile 12-year-olds will dismiss it as a show for 8-year-olds." is my favorite line from any of your reviews. Well played Madam...well played.
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*explodes*
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Watched it on Hulu yesterday and was thoroughly entertained. Cool visuals, transforming KITT, and a hot chick. Have you people forgotten the 80's version? It was never a superbly written and acted show. It is what it is... a show about a talking car. Anyone trying to make it more is wasting their time. Shut off your brain and watch a car talk.
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..the original version is far better. The more Hoff you have, the better off you are. This show will learn that, don't worry.
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to completely re-imagine the series along the lines of BSG or Bond. So many possibilities to make it something cool and more importantly, unique.
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The original show was typical cheesy 80s sci-fi action. This new update is just a reinvention of that sci-fi action cheese. It's not supposed to be thought-provoking. It's supposed to be brainless fun. The special effects may not be the best but what do you expect from a TV series? You're not going to get the same big budget effects as you do when you're at the movies. Even some of those effects are bad. Bottom line is...if you don't like it, don't watch it.
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Funny: all those negative reviews, and then Yahoo does the positive spin.
http://www.tv.yahoo.com/blog/the-comeback-kitt-a-knight-rider-makeover--13
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zero contest
Although I should buy a dvr
But not for this fucktard show -
Hopefully jobs will be loss over this
Because I don't want to be subjected to whatever these retards come up with next -
I hate the icky moments in Bones
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FUCK YOU NBC!
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As bad as the tv movie did (review-wise), why did NBC decide to pick up the series? The ratings may have been high b/c people were curious (as well as skeptical) about the revival of this classic favorite, but couldn't they hear the loud outcry of "BULLSHIT!"? Why waste the money? Someone needs to be fired...
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Egads...
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...But we also have our own version of Hole In The Wall, and KR surely can't be worse than that.
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Just sayin'.
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I thought is was ok. Certainly not great, but neither is Fringe and I don't seem to mind that either.
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What the hell man!
Since when do we hate the Aussies?
Don't make them watch this shit -
oh wait of course I would have, this show blows as much as the Hoff has surely had to in order to maintain some minor and fleeting fame. The old one sucked too. I mean come on this is put on and other shows are gone? Jericho, Shark, hell I could go on and on. I pray all the douche bags who watch crap like this don't prolong the agony of people who like actual quality tv.
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2008/09 season promises shows like Mad Men, Lost, and BSG but also the return of shows like 90210 and Knight Rider.
truly the best of times and the worst of times. -
We're just one big happy economic family!
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Apparently the nu metal soundtrack is more important than the dialogue. Not that the dialogue is important at all...
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Nice touch. NOT.
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every episode should be the wonder woman episode
Excelsior!
(yeah I know WW is a DC product) -
Goddamn that was the most unbelievable thing I've ever seen.
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Or even that Australian dude who'd say "oi" who was on the show about the semi truck that could spit out a helicopter. The lead of this show comes across like a chubby Casper Van Dien with less charsima.
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Sep 24, 2008 8:44:22 PM CDT
re: Holy shit that car just transformed into another car!
by melvin_pelvis
deeeewd!
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This show is acutally worse than you make it out to be.. I'm one of the biggest original Knight Rider fans and as a child I always wanted to buy a Pontiac Trans Am. this show is a disgrace. It can't even be aimed at kids since they have them stripping in the car into their underwear..The first pilot had blatant lesbianism and multiple woman naked in bed with the star... The writing is so bad, when I was 8, I could have written a better plot..I will watch the show regardles, however it is so bad they can't really fix it.. KITT transforming into a truck.. Why not a giant robot as well.. That is next..
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The original KITT artificial intelligence seemed much more lifelike and advanced than the current KITT AI does. What happened in the intervening 20 years? Seems like they've not only NOT made any progress, but have taken a step BACKWARD.
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The orginal series was a lame snooze-fest, too.
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I don't even know how this show exists. If I were NBC I would have been too embarrassed to put it on the air.
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My jaw was literally hanging in shock at just how bad that was and I was one of the few who didn't think the pilot was that bad. So he's a quantum physicist army model now? Yeah, ok. This might very well be the worst piece of fiction I've ever encountered. In fact, if they could keep up this level of suckage, if might just have a Plan 9 quality. But just like our banking system, some things have no alternative but to fail because they are so fundamentally flawed. Whomever is in charge of this show must give the best blowjob in Hollywood. After this week, I'm thinking we just need to get rid of New York, Washington and Hollywood and just start over with what's left. I am in total awe of the incompetence of this country these days.
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How much money is 700 billion? Let me put it into perspective. If you were to divide that pie amongst all the men and women in the United States of America above the age of 18 they would each receive $300,000 dollars each, from the lowliest bus boy in Manhattan to the highest paid celebrity in Hollywood. Do you think that might stimulate the economy?
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Damn you NBC
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first clay gaykin, now this.
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...a FBI Bi chick, some mysterious government supervisor, someone who claims to have built and designed the original K2000, a ton of extra redshirt techs, and the professor and mary ann...here on Kitt's Island!
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... why didn't the showrunner tag these dudes and get them on the show? They for sure know everything one would want, and they could have come up with something much much much better than this!
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My wife gave up after about 20 minutes. Between the horrible CGI and the new "personality" of KITT, she said she just couldn't take it anymore. I stuck it out as I imagine the Hoff would want me to. If it gets cancelled he cannot make his cameos dammit! They need to cut the CGI because the Mustang looks horrible. They need to make KITT(Val Kilmer) more like the original KITT. It just isn't working in it's present incarnation. The new guy isn't Hoff by any means. It just seems like he is acting. I had my '84 Firebird and it felt more like Knight Rider than this show did. On a side note, there aren't California mountains in Washington D.C.! Dammit Hoff, Knight Rider needs you!!!!
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make more money in a season than you'll see in your entire life
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Cue the locust swarms and raining frogs... I can honestly say I would rather watch my 4-year-old daughter's Strawberry Shortcake video for the 1 millionth time than watch another episode of this FORD commercial.
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"You don't need to yell, Michael, I'm all around you."
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It was actually somewhat good. I was laughing my butt off the entire time. I can't believe I sat and watched the entire thing. Wow. That was not good. The chicks were hot though...
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So fricking awful: it's clichéd and dumb and formulaic. It's insulting to my intelligence to watch. Someone should be fired for this. I could write something better, and I'm no engrish major ;)
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The show is way better than the pilot
positives of the today's show
1. It is none-stop action. Compared to any other show on tv this had more action.
2. That one chick stripping down to her panties was cool. But, if they wanted to be edgy for 2008 than she would have been in a thong. What she did was edgy for the early 90's.
What they did wrong:
1. I was expecting the opening theme to be closer to the original. You don't mess with a song that has been adapted by modern day rappers and etc. It is a cool song. Did Lucas decide to redo the Indiana Jones theme. Hell no!
2. They really need to work on the green screen effects when the car is in motion. You can tell the car is not moving since it looks so fake. I have seen Indie films that have more realism in there effects.
3. It is obviouse that they were going for cool lines but, those lines like "awesome" "interesting" were delivered in a childish way. The show does NOT have to be darker but, it does need a better Director who knows about drama.
4. Val Kilmer is to blank. Kitt is not a blank robot. He had personality in the original show and he was a smart ass.
Overall, the original pilot for the original Knight Rider still has more cool effects, Kitt did way more like jumping over Trucks to crashing through a plane to crashing through a wall.
I am going to be optimistic and hope the producers grow some common sense. It could have been way worse a show on today so, I am happy.
It just needs more edyness. -
the crime SOLVING boat. wouldve been better idea.
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1st Place still goes to the original Hasslehoff pilot. Which was more realistic in the drama depeartment and still had kitt doing a whole lot more.
2nd place goes to today's first episode which surprisingly had a lot of action which I was happy to see.
99th Place goes to the pilot that aired a few months ago. That was a cheese fest that I care not remembering. -
Sep 25, 2008 12:05:53 AM CDT
OMFG What a pile of shit! and not even a good shit its a sloppy
by kingoflight
Not that i want to waste internet trees but i have to say it again OMFG what a pile of shit.
What were they thinking, did no one test screen this or even ask the question is this any good at any point during production? -
YeeeHaw
Gonna git me som fiddles
Make some music
Then break them fiddles
YeeeHaw
Ah gots me ah red whites and blues neck
YeeeHaw!
Mah shows on tonights!
YeeeHaw! -
that you can put napalm out with water. Especially not some pseudo-sci-fi super-napalm variant. And if you did drive the car underwater long enough to extinguish the jellied gas combustion, well, wouldn't the occupants of the vehicle, you know, drown?I watched this on Hulu expecting to hate it and it was a fast paced non stop thrill ride of lightweight entertainment. sure, plot holws you could drive a customized ford Mustang through. Like a supposedly smart scientist who thinks that by shaving his eyebrows and plucking his nose hairs he can prevent anyone from getting a sample of his DNA.I watched this back to back with next Mondays episode of Chuck. So Chuck has a female partner named Sarah. Michael Traceur/Knight has a female partner named Sarah. John McCain has a female partner named Sarah. Isn't this getting old? Shelley's a good name. How about Delores? Esther?
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Otherwise, why would he be involved with this POS? Why do they need four people standing around the command center acting stupid? Too much crap to list. The only reason to watch more of it would be Officer Tina in her civies.
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The guy is better than that. I wonder why he agreed to be the voice. Doesn't he have some good movie to star in ? His Felon was awesome.
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Because of the fact that it's absolute shit.
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and you kno-ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
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Fringe, Terminator, and Heroes all dumbfounded me with some pretty bad lines so far. What's up with the writing this season? I'm starting to wonder if we weren't better off DURING the writers strike.
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Do you reckon Kilmer does a Krusty the Klown in the recording booth .
"Hey Hey , I'm Kitt . HEY HEY , I'M KITT . Badda Bing Badda Boom , I'm done . Learn from a professional kid . " then goes and cashes his cheque -
I watched the first 15 minutes out of curiosity, then gave up to watch The Shield on DVR. Horrible show. Terrible acting, dialogue, special effects, camera technique, the whole thing was just awful. The kind of thing USA Up-All-Night would be ashamed to put on at 2am back in the 90's. I know lowest common denominator viewing has it's fans but this is just unwatchable.
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Sep 25, 2008 8:53:57 AM CDT
It's actually amazing that a show this bad was on network TV...
by leafar the lost
This hour long episode was bad at every level. Bad writing, bad acting, bad special effects, bad sets, bad costumes, etc. Even Val Kilmer's voice over work at KITT was bad. The only bright spot in a sea of badness was when the more attractive women on the show took off their clothes, but even that was done poorly. "Knight-Rider" does not work at any level, and it is a wonder how this pile of shit made it on TV.
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Sep 25, 2008 9:34:12 AM CDT
"It's actually amazing that a show this bad was on network TV"
by spamgelus
Really? I think you've got your standards set a little lower than you think, my man.
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I was very disappointed with last night's Knight Rider. It was truly awful and disappointing. I did, however, enjoy the TV Movie that came out in Jan or Feb.
What needs to be done is this. First, the Mustang needs to be destroyed. I don't know how, but it needs to get hit by a nuclear bomb or something. The Mustang is gay and needs to go away (hey, that kinda rhymed!). Anyway, Mike Traceur should also die, or at least be hospitalized (pending acting lessons). Then the REAL Michael Knight (David SchmasselSchmoff) needs to come back with the OLD KITT for a season or so, and then they rebuild a new car that isn't gay. Maybe a 2010 Remake of the Pontiac Firebird??
Another thing. MORPHING CARS SUCK UNWIPED BUTTHOLES!!! As much as the OLD Knight Rider used fiction to support its special effects, the new Knight Rider's Morphing card is completely unbelievable, and in my opinion, not even cool. Get rid of the morphing car lameness. Make the car at least somewhat believable, and it won't be so bad.
Do this and then we might have something successful! -
I watched it last night .... and I liked it! Yes, bad acting, forgettable SFX and other miscues were abound. But, you know what, it can/could only get better. I loved 'Knight Rider' when I was young and I have some hopes for this series. What I cannot understand is why everyone with a keyboard and a PC are calling for its cancellation after ONE show?! You didn't like the TV movie? Cool, that's okay. But can't people give "Knight Rider '08' (or ANY new show) 2-3 episodes before they call for the hangman? Huh, can't you?
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Cant believe i wasted space on my DVR, what a piece of dog shit. ONLY good thing was the lead actress was smoking, but sadly i'll never see her again since i will never watch this crap again and I dont expect her in much after this. So far new season of shows have been bad, except Heroes, first episode was the shizznit
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doesn't get enough respect. Sure, he had a couple piece-of-poop movies over the last decade, but he's done some good stuff as well. The Doors and Heat stick out.
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I had hoped that they would have changed some things about the show from that horrid movie. But they didn’t, they just added more crap.
Please stop with that idiotic “transforming” . It’s lame. As well as with the opening theme music. It’s so bad. What the hell was wrong with using the old classic one??
And yeah, I agree, the Mustang must now go away, blow it up or something, it sucks. As well as Val Kilmer’s voice for Kitt. It’s not witty and nearly puts me to sleep.
Screw you NBC, no wonder your number 4!
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Really glad I was out celebrating Oktoberfest by getting drunk on boots of beer.
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What was so cool about the original Knight Rider was the concept of this lone wolf type character, a mysterious man fighting crime across the country in the name of good. Like a true Knight. KNIGHT RIDER. Plus he had a cool car as a friend and weapon.
“Knight Rider, a shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist. Michael Knight, a young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the powerless in a world of criminal that operate above the law.”
I hate this new show. It blows.
They couldn’t even have the semi-truck, replaced now with a giant green plane?
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I was still thinking about how bad the new Knight Rider was when I askd myself a question: what if Ron Moore, who has just wrapped up Battlestar Galactic (the best show on TV) had written this episode of Knight Ridger. He took a campy show from the 70's and remade it into one of the best television shows of all time.
With Knight Rider, you have a very cool premise; a man with a mysterious past works for a secret organization, and he drives a talking car.
Ron Moore would have taken that concept and written a story that would have kicked ass. Gary "Scott" Thompson took that story and made it into the worst pile of shit since the original "Galactica" series. The new Knight Rider series, if NBC actually keeps it on for a few more episodes, will go down as the worst sci-fi show of all fucking time. FUCK YOU GARY "FUCKING" THOMPSON!!!! -
...we'd eventually come to find out that Michael is a car and that there's really no difference between cars and people.
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The Cable-Only network smash hit about a paper airplane that fights crime!
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The Sci-Fi network show about a ghost in the machine that fights crime!
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Ah, Too easy.
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The Nickelodeon show about a shit-scared toddler that fights crime!
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The Cinemax series about a stripper that's good enough for the likes of me.
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writes itself.
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i was right, it was awesome, perfect ? no...but what premiere episode is ? they used turbo boost within the first 10min, that had me hooked...that was one of the things the TV movie was missing and im glad that the producers listened to the fans and added that ...i also like the new attack modes...much better than the effect used in the TV movie...id rather see panels shifting and moving ala transformers then a color change and things just appear and disappear...earlier comments about kitt being on fire and someone saying "this just got interesting" as being retarded didnt care to notice that the character is kinda nuts....other changes towards the end of the episode putting it in line with the original...mike tracer is "officially" dead...and he officially takes the name "michael knight" just as in the original...also cant wait to see how many more modes kitt can be programmed with...exciting!! cant wait to see more
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If it weren't for your love of 'reality TV' and your hatred of Supernatural I would trust you implicitly. Especially after the abortion I just sat through. Wow, that's an hour of my life I'll never get back.
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Good God, all they needed to do was Update the old scripts- follow the plot lines just up date the tech and dialog...what was with KITT as a transformer?
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maybe bad spell check is to blame????
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As in it's not often that a script manages to be of such a high calibre of humour, engendering laugh after non-stop laugh and ... what's that? What do you mean it wasn't supposed to be a comedy?!
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Flaming Cars, tatooed tities, and amnesia heroes!?!Can't wait to eat more.
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Maybe, if enough people stop using them, they'll get the message that their "You have to be in the United States to stream from us" gets old fast.
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WIBoomer1 - "someone who claims to have built and designed the original K2000" What?! Did they even bother to watch the original series? It was made clear that the original K2000 development was a TEAM EFFORT.
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To admit I was wrong. After watching the rest of this show past the opening credits I've come to the conclusion that this was written by a high school student! It needs some serious retooling. What could have been fun is just dumb. Get rid of the asian woman or don't give her any dialog. Less transformer type morphing. I can buy the indestructable skin and turbo boost but this is a bit much. No more Basket Ball court! Try to hire new writers and decide what demographic you're going for. This was a big disappointment. They need to fix it or it won't make it all the way until the Hoff can guess star!
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Sep 27, 2008 9:32:23 PM CDT
Best part was Thompson saying he could do better than the pilot
by drath
Oh boy, that was actually WORSE than the pilot movie, which for all it's flaws was actually engaging for the first hour. The forced suspense over putting out that fire was so godawful lame and would have been even back when the original was on, that I really couldn't take the rest seriously. Also is it a requirement that all the supporting actors have distracting moles on their faces? Shit, I don't even care. Bruening does look like Hasselhoff a little (certainly more than some idiots think Tom Welling looks like Christopher Reeve--news flash: he doesn't. At all), but like most of TV's boystars, he has no joy at all in his performance--as if showing any wouldn't be serious enough or something. But it's really the writing that blew this one down for me. When I read Thompson bragging that he could do so much better than the TV movie, I was like "okay Mr. I Wrote Fast and the Furious, game on." Well, as of this hour, he lost like a non Chinese athlete in the last Olympics. This was hideous. Bionic Woman was a better re-imagining in my opinion, and that got the shit kicked out of it by online bitchers and ratings alike. I won't even start on how wrong it is that Journeyman was ended while this was given a green light. Sorry to the folks who are gonna lose work over this.
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Oct 01, 2008 10:18:36 AM CDT
It was like watching shit flush down a toilet only worse!!!!
by bilboring
Had to be one of the worst 5 minutes of my life. That is all I could give it without vomiting on myself and sticking a pipe bomb up my ass.
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