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Shane Black Back To Directing With COLD WARRIOR!!

Beaks here...

I'm still fuming over Universal's proposed "reimagining" of MOBY DICK (from the writers who brought you ACCEPTED and NEW YORK MINUTE!), but the studio redeemed itself overnight by announcing their intention to bankroll Shane Black's return to directing. I'll live with what sounds like a glorified ORCA remake if it means I get more Black. Interestingly, Black is not (currently) claiming a writing credit on COLD WARRIOR. Not to worry: the screenplay was written by Chuck Mondry, who's writing partners with Anthony Bagarozzi, who co-wrote the uproarious NICE GUYS with Black (Bagarozzi's also serving as a producer on COLD WARRIOR). Sounds like this one is all in the Black family, which means it's got a better-than-average chance at making my top ten list for 2009. According to Variety, the narrative concerns an old-school Cold War spy who's brought out of retirement (despite being too old for this shit) to thwart a terrorist threat from the new Russia. Of course, this crotchety old spook is forced to partner with a (brash/inexperienced/imbecilic) young agent. Profane squabbling ensues. I wonder if it's set during Christmas. Michelle Manning and David Greenblatt are also producing. Note to Variety: you might want to change that whole "[Black] took a break from the biz after penning 1998’s fourth installment of the LETHAL WEAPON franchise" before the once-and-future spec king torches your building. He is quite proud of not writing that particular movie.

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  • Sept. 23, 2008, 2:22 p.m. CST



  • Sept. 23, 2008, 2:22 p.m. CST

    Always bet on Black.............Shane Black

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Val Kilmer and or Nic cage needs to be in this.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 2:23 p.m. CST

    how does this idea sound good?

    by just pillow talk

    It sounds rehashed and overdone to me, though I guess it's all in the execution.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 2:25 p.m. CST

    Shane Black is a golden god...

    by marlow2

    ...this movie will rock. Bring back the buddy picture. Val Kilmer as the old cop and James Mcvoy as the upstart. Mix and stir. Hit movie!

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 2:25 p.m. CST

    "Jeez you got a big pussy. Jeez you got a big pussy."

    by Stuntcock Mike

    She said, "Why did you say that twice?" I said, "I didn't."

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 2:28 p.m. CST

    I was a cold warrior

    by Xiphos_2

    Then I put on a sweater, problem solved.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 2:28 p.m. CST

    Once you go Shane Black, you never go back

    by drturing

    I even like The Long Kiss Goodnight

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 2:28 p.m. CST

    Shane Black is a hack!!!!!

    by BackRiverCatfish

    He wrote one or two good scripts and has been coasting for 20 years. He's the Axl Rose of movies. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang wasn't good. He should write a 5th Lethal Weapon but this idea sounds pretty boring.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 2:29 p.m. CST

    I agree JPT

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    This sounds like more half-assed buddy cop stuff that's been done to death with the Chris Tucker and Owen Wilson types.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 2:34 p.m. CST

    Shane Black's used toilet paper is more talented....


    than Timur Bhakakakakkakkaka and Shia LaBeef combined.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 2:40 p.m. CST

    "I'm getting too old for this shit!"

    by BackRiverCatfish

    I bet that line is in this movie.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 2:42 p.m. CST


    by MaxCalifornia.

    "An old-school Cold War spy who's brought out of retirement (despite being too old for this shit". Yeah, he claims he's retired, but let's see what happens when you toss him $20 million. Throw in Colin Farrell as the brash young partner and we're gold.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 2:45 p.m. CST

    If Sean Connery wouldn't return for Speilberg,

    by BackRiverCatfish

    you think he'd return for Shane Black?

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 2:46 p.m. CST

    Lethal Weapon 4 was such tired shit

    by I am_NOTREAL

    An old, lame, wheezing last gasp fumbling in vain for what made the first movie electric and the second really good, the way a geriatric with an enlarged prostate fumbles with his fly during a 2am piss

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 2:49 p.m. CST

    Shia would be perfect for the rookie agent....


    ...come on guys-- he's got the acting chops, comedic timing, he's looking a little more grown up, and Spielberg loves him!! Whats the problem?

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 2:57 p.m. CST

    HAHHAHAAAA!!!!! Kiss Kiss Bang Bang was god-fucking awful!!

    by Speed Fricassee

    I went to a Q&A with Black where he spent the whole hour bragging on his own resume and bitching to high-heaven about how he gets no respect in Hollywood these days. It was fucking hysterical to hear him cry like that. Made my DAY. Can't wait to see this one fail, too.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 3:01 p.m. CST

    "So... Gay Perry... still gay?

    by David Cloverfield

    Nah, I'm knee deep in the pussy. I just like the name so much, don't want to get rid of it." Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is gold.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 3:04 p.m. CST

    "what in god's name...." "- i think it's hawkins sir...."

    by Seth Brundle

    Awesome! xD

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 3:10 p.m. CST


    by HoboCode

    Now we're talking Holywood.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 3:55 p.m. CST

    To each their own, I thought Kiss Kiss Bang Bang was great...

    by Forsakyn

    Per the subject.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 3:58 p.m. CST

    I quite enjoyed Lethal Weapon 4. KKBB, too.

    by slone13

    "I am_NOTREAL" and "Speed Fricassee", you two bitches can go suck a fat one.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 4 p.m. CST

    Mel Gibson for the Old spy!!!

    by i eat fish

    Mel needs a cool kick ass comeback role. He was the man in the late eighties. How's about Ryan Reynolds for the younger one. I think the two's smart ass personalities might work well together.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 4:05 p.m. CST

    I like all 4 Lethals

    by BitterMan23

    Yeah they became comedies, but they were amusing comedies, and the action was exciting. If you want a dark cop movie, watch the first one. And the change in tone was gradual, unlike other franchises. I'd rather see a film that succeeded at what it was supposed to be than fail at what its not, but I guess that's just me. Anyway, does this mean that the whole "Lethal 5 on Spec" story was fake?

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 4:13 p.m. CST

    Isn't Shane Black signed up for writing Lethal Weapon 5

    by drewlicious

    I thought someone brought this up on this site before. Did that fall through? At any rate I have a feeling what Black wanted to do, kill Riggs. He tried in Lethal Weapon II and couldn't get it done and now I have a feeling he wants to finish what he stated.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 4:13 p.m. CST

    Shia LaBeouf for the Old spy!!!

    by RaveX

    you know he can do it. <p> he's got the range.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 4:29 p.m. CST

    By Harry Lockheart's beard!

    by colinjbooth

    KKBB was awesome in so many ways. It's a pity it was too intelligent for the average viewer, who were off watching American Pie 16:Cooze Cruise.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 4:31 p.m. CST

    In space...

    by Rogue Planet

    ...all warriors are cold warriors. Sorry, my Trek fandom shining through. What ever shall I do?

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 4:41 p.m. CST

    this site has been boring lately.

    by frankenfickle

    zillion stories, all lame.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 4:44 p.m. CST

    Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is one of the funniest movies!

    by zinc_chameleon

    RDJ pissing on a corpse alone would do it, but the ending of the big search being a terrier eating what is left of your finger is pure gold.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 4:57 p.m. CST

    Um, Mel Gibson pissed off the Jews

    by I Dunno

    You're not going to see him in any major Hollywood movies anytime soon. Danny Glover is going to have to go solo if there's going to be a Lethal Weapon 5. <p>And I think he's...I'm trying to think of a catchy phrase to express that he may be too advanced of age for that sort of excrement. </p>

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 4:59 p.m. CST

    KKBB hit the theatres exactly

    by YO MOM'S GOAT

    when I needed a movie like KKBB. It is one of my all-time top ten favorite movies. Not saying it's one of the ten best ever made... just one of my ten favorites.<p> If Shane Black makes a movie then I will pay outrageous sums to sit in a theatre seat to watch it.<p>

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 5:20 p.m. CST

    LW1, LW2, KKBB all GOLD

    by 7Cal

    LW1 and 2 in particular are most likely both in my top 12 flicks of all time. Damn I love those movies. 3 was just plain awful, and 4 was not bad. Can't compare it to 1 and 2, but 4 was a fucking masterpiece compared to the turd that was 3. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang was a total overlooked gem and I don't get the hate in a lot of the previous posts for it. It was no LW1 or 2 mind you, but still an awesome flick and hopefully Cold Warrior can be as good.<p> And, hopefully, Cold Warrior won't get completely fuck-dumped by the studio with no theater count and no marketing for its release.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 5:26 p.m. CST

    Kiss Kiss

    by skimn

    started on the page, but Downey and Kilmer SOLD those lines. A minor classic. Haters...go, eh whatever..<p>Dream casting for this, cuz both are really too old for their characters, would be the aforementioned Connery and Ewen MacGregor. Just as long as please, please, please no more mentor roles for Liam Neeson or Morgan Freeman.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 5:31 p.m. CST

    The Last Boyscout was Gold too!

    by pokadoo


  • Sept. 23, 2008, 5:44 p.m. CST

    look up the word "idiot" in the dictionary,

    by OBSD

    you know what you find? A picture of me? No. The definition of the word "idiot"...which is WHAT YOU ARE!! Three years later, that line still makes me laugh.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 5:57 p.m. CST

    Ill repeat, KKBB is one of the best films of the decade

    by IndustryKiller!

    I mean that completely without hyperbole. The kind of film that they don't make enough of now and maybe had never been done that good before. Hilarious, fun, excellent characters I would kill to revisit, and it gave us all Michelle Monaghan (SP?) which we should all be thankful for. moreover it's one of the best films I've seen that absolutely NAILS all of LA's little annoying eccentricities and self righteous bullshit. A brilliant film and Ill see anything Black makes.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 5:59 p.m. CST

    OBSD, I still qote that constantly

    by IndustryKiller!

    And it's "Which is what you FUCKING ARE!" The "fucking" is clutch.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 6:10 p.m. CST

    I Dunno

    by kwisatzhaderach

    Mel Gibson is making Edge of Darkness right now.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 6:11 p.m. CST


    by kwisatzhaderach

    A Shane Black LW5 would be awesome. Hope it all works out.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 6:23 p.m. CST

    Not so much, kwisatzhaderach...

    by I Dunno<p>Don't. Piss. Off. The. Jews.</p><p>Dumbass.</p>

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 6:34 p.m. CST

    I Dunno

    by mrbeaks

    They've replaced De Niro (who left the film due to a spat w/ director Martin Campbell) with Ray Winstone. The movie has not been halted.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 7:11 p.m. CST

    Ford Fairlane was better than KKBB!

    by BackRiverCatfish

    Thats right, I said it! RDJ was wasted and the ending of KKBB was bad and out of place.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 7:22 p.m. CST

    Max California

    by Charlie_Allnut

    While I love Sean Connery and I would love to see him back in action...lets be honest he's what 80 now? action stars in their 60's? Okay I'll bite. In their 80's tho? Seriously?

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 8 p.m. CST

    Harrison Ford for the old spy

    by drewlicious

    If Shane Black is directing I'm only assuming, I could be wrong, that this is going to be an action thriller with comedy in it. We all know this is pretty familiar territory for Ford and the man is due for a comeback. Indy IV doesn't count since it was riding off the reputation of its predecessors.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 8:27 p.m. CST

    Harrison Ford as the

    by Juggernaut125

    Cold Warrior... until he comes out of the fridge. Then he starts to warm up.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 8:41 p.m. CST

    BackRiverCatfish -- I agree.....


    But thats not really a slam to KKBB. Ford Fairlane was one of the best movies of all fucking time. Not many films come close.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 8:42 p.m. CST

    Fuck DeNiro.....thats all I gotta say.


    Thank Christ he left the Mel film. He is a fucking curse to projects these days.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 8:53 p.m. CST

    Who's Shane Black??

    by crazybubba

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 9:07 p.m. CST

    Its sad, but I like the story of how Cutthroat Island killed Bla

    by BitterMan23

    From Onion AV Club:<br><br>"I sold the script [for Long Kiss Goodnight] because Renny Harlin and Geena Davis were available. And the very next day, Renny said, 'Uh, I forgot to tell you something. There's this contractual thing, and I might have to go do another movie first.' And that was Cutthroat Island… one of the biggest bombs of the decade." After Cutthroat Island, Black's thinking apparently went from "Sweet! Renny Harlin and Geena Davis are totally going to make my movie!" to "Oh shit! Renny Harlin and Geena Davis are totally going to make my movie!" Cutthroat Island was such a disaster that it damaged the careers of people who had nothing to do with it, like Shane Black.<br><br>Ouch.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 9:13 p.m. CST

    "i'm getting to old for this shit"

    by drstinkfinger

    i recently heard this line in a movie that pre-dated the lethal weapon franchise, but can't think of it. anyone have any idea what i'm talking about? p.s. saying mel gibson isn't getting major roles beacuse he pissed of the jews is almost as anti-semitic as what mel gibson said. almost.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 9:24 p.m. CST

    Indy 4 also doesn't count because it was terrible

    by IndustryKiller!

    Can't leave that part out. I'd go as far to say as Indy 4 did no more good for Ford's career than Firewall did. they were certainly about equal in quality, and shit Firewall had Paul Bettany so that technically might make it better.....ugh.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 10:47 p.m. CST

    Sean Connery!!!!!!!!!

    by TheWaqman

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 10:52 p.m. CST

    Why is that, drstinkfinger?

    by I Dunno

    I don't think there are even any jews who would dispute that.

  • Sept. 23, 2008, 11:28 p.m. CST

    Pre-Weapon "I'm getting too old for this shit"...

    by Nasty In The Pasty

    Check out 1985's To Live & Die In L.A.

  • Sept. 24, 2008, 1:37 a.m. CST

    stuntcock mike you bastard!

    by ironic_name

  • Sept. 24, 2008, 1:39 a.m. CST

    I say to my girl I'd like a lil pussy-she says me too, mines as

    by ironic_name

  • Sept. 24, 2008, 1:48 a.m. CST

    big as a house!

    by ironic_name

    this should be about a russian agent being reactivated and killing america. <P>

  • Sept. 24, 2008, 1:49 a.m. CST

    the colder war! <P> america is his target. everything is his wea

    by ironic_name

  • Sept. 24, 2008, 1:52 a.m. CST

    ColWTH - just like reality!

    by ironic_name

  • Sept. 24, 2008, 3:59 a.m. CST

    Throw the Jew down the well!

    by masteryoda007


  • Sept. 24, 2008, 5:27 a.m. CST

    US Propaganda of the Month

    by MattInTheHat

    Man, you Yanks are so funny. So it's Russia this week. Before it would have been any one in a long line of Iraq, Afghanistan, North Korea, Syria, et al and by the time the movie is released it will have been changed to Iran or Wall Street Bankers. Truely teh ghey.

  • Sept. 24, 2008, 5:47 a.m. CST

    Shane Black? Pah!

    by Berbs

    Uwe Boll to direct Mars movie!

  • Sept. 24, 2008, 8:57 a.m. CST

    KKBB Ultra Hip

    by LeftFoot

    Kiss Kiss Bang Bang was hip on top of hip. Constant, oh - this is whats really happening..<BR><BR> Even the ending where it turns this is just the tale the guy is telling

  • Sept. 24, 2008, 11:12 a.m. CST

    The Return of Leo the Fart!

    by GrandMuffTarkin

    You know it needs a followup....

  • Sept. 24, 2008, 8:25 p.m. CST

    I Dunno

    by drstinkfinger

    Saying he isn't getting work because he pissed off the Jews enforces the stereotype that the Jews run the movie business. Plus I would hope that his behavior pissed off more than just Jews, just like Michael Richards diatribe pissed off more than just black people.