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SpellChecker's look at the SOUTH PARK movie
Here's a review from SpellChecker, who didn't enjoy the film as much as Chichlisuite, but then... he was annoyed by an incredible a-hole that sounds like Robert De Niro in CAPE FEAR... But here's his review....
I managed to grab a few tickets to the Tuesday screening on the Paramount
Lot of South Park:Bigger, Longer, and Uncut a few hours ago, and thought
I'd write in with a review. I noticed you've already got one from
chichlisuite, but I thought, since my opinon differed, you might be
interested in hearing from me.
Now, I have to admit, I'm not a super-huge fan of South Park. That's not
to say I don't find the humor funny, it's just that I'm not the type to go
out of my way to catch an episode. If it's on, I'll watch it, and enjoy
it... I've only seen four or five episodes, and I laughed out loud for
each and every one that I've seen (except the one with the
Jackoffasaurases... for some reason, that one bored me). The only real
problem I've ever had with the show was that sometimes the voices were
difficult to decipher.... The characters were either a)speaking way too
fast (for me) or b) were just plain unitelligible (to me) or c) were both
(again, to me). Other than that, I've enjoyed the episodes I've seen.
So... I went into this film expecting to have a rip-roaring good time.
After all, the few episodes I'd seen were a lot of fun. Unfortunately,
however, I found the film as a whole to be quite disappointing.
Here's the plot, in a nutshell. The kids go to see the newest Phillip and
Terrance film, in which there's much swearing and cussing. Of course, they
pick up the swearing and cussing themselves, and spread it like a disease
to all the kids in South Park. Soon, all the kids in South Park are
swearing and cussing like sailors. This gets so many adults in an uproar,
Mothers Against Canada is formed by Kyle's mom (Phillip and Terrance are
Canadian), which eventually snowballs into the US deciding to declare war
on Canada. Terrance and Phillip are captured and sentenced to death.
Meanwhile, Kenny is killed, goes to Heaven, is REJECTED (for reasons I
won't spoil here), and is consequently sent to Hell. In Hell, he learns
that the seventh sign is the death of Terrance and Phillip, so, appearing
as a ghost, he warns Cartman that he must stop T & P from being executed...
or Satan will take over the Earth. It's up to the South Park kids, now, to
stop T & P's execution.... To save the world from Satan... There are a
few subplots, but that's basically it. If you don't understand my summary
(sorry), go read chichlisuite's.
The problem I had was that the jokes I saw in the film were the exact same
jokes I saw in the few episodes I've happened to catch on TV. Maybe this
is a part of the fun for real South Park fans, the repetitive nature of the
gags, but I guess not for me. There was a lot of quite clever new material
(I think, I haven't seen all the episodes) that I found quite hilarious,
but not nearly enough of it. All too often during the film's 80 minute
running time (I looked at my watch several times during the film a REALLY
BAD sign) I found myself saying "Oh, I remember that from the episode
where...". I've only seen a few episodes, and I recognized fifty percent
of the gags.... so I wonder if ANY new jokes were actually made up for this
film....
For example... At one point, to show the kids of South Park getting out of
control with cuss words, a history class erupts into a fit of swearing
which seems to go ON and ON and ON. At first, it WAS funny. But it goes
on for far too long. Again, I guess, it's the repetition. I need
something new. After a few minutes, I was bored. There needs to be, I
think, more SITUATIONAL humor. The film seems to rely too much on just
plain old swearing.... The kids are VERY charming, VERY adorable, and
carry a LOT of potential for situational comedy. But there wasn't enough
of it in the film, and that's unfortunate, because some of the most
memorable moments in the TV show (and the film) are SITUATIONAL. Just go
back up to the summary I gave, read it over.... The fucking SITUATION is
what's so funny... Who could ever come up with such a BIZARRE plot? THAT'S
HUMOROUS. Why couldn't we see more of that?
QUICK COMMENTS:
- Where the hell was Chef???? One of the funniest characters has only a
few scant minutes of screen time. And NO SONGS???? There were tons of
songs from all the other characters, but none from Chef??? Disappointing.
- Why so many songs? They weren't really that funny... I thought I was
watching a (granted, r-rated) Disney film. And why weren't they more NEW
songs????
- There was much offensive humor, most of which I found to be in good fun,
but I'm sure there'll be a lot angry minorities out there who take these
joke the wrong way.
Don't think I'm giving this film a bad review, because judging by the
audience's reaction, they LOVED it, and I think, as chichlisuite said, if
you're a real South Park fan, you'll love this film, too. I had a good
time, but I didn't have quite the time that the real fans seemed to be
having. I did notice one disturbing thing, though... The amount of
laughter seemed to decrease as the film went on.... I know that's what
happened with me, at any rate. I think a lot of people who don't know
South Park are not going to like this film, and it's a shame... because the
episodes I've seen on TV are lots of fun. I'd recommend newcomers to skip
the film, and just enjoy the show...
I feel I need to add something, to give you all a context for my review.
About four seats to the left of me, six or seven rows from the front, there
was this annoying bastard who laughed at EVERY FUCKING JOKE IN THE FILM
NON-STOP, and, during the musical numbers, kept CLAPPING HIS HANDS TO THE
BEAT, as if to engage the audience in the music, too (which never worked,
he was the only one who ever clapped to the beat). Several people told him
to shut up, but this IDIOT would not stop. It seems like every once in a
while, when you see a film, there's a guy like this in the theater, who's
TOO much into the film. Not being rowdy, not yelling out, but just
LAUGHING and CLAPPING and HOOTING and HOLLERING, as if the fucking film was
the greatest film ever made. He may have worked on the film, because, as
the credits were rolling, he pointed up at the screen and said "That's my
name!". I don't know if he was being an idiot, joking, or telling the
truth. All I do know is that he was pretty fucking annoying, so that may
have tainted my review of the film, for what that's worth. Anyway, if
you're reading this, and I think you know who you are, asshole, LEARN TO
SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Spell Checker
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What do you bet the man in the audience was one of the producers at Paramount?
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MEESA THINKS SOUTH PARK FUNNYSA, NO MATTRER WHASSA PEOPLE SAY, PEOPLE SHOULD LEARN TO OPEN THEIR MINDS AND REALIZE THINGS ARE FUNNY, OR STRESS WILL BE THE DEATH OF THEM
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I say it was Cichlisuite, judging from the tone of his reviews.
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Interesting review, Spell Checker. One of my problems with the new Austin Powers was that too many of the jokes were reruns from the first one. I mean, yes, the "sshhh!" thing was funny the first time around, but changing it to "zippit!" and doing it all over again just doesn't cut it. As for South Park, repetition may be its own worst enemy. If this movie wants to be funny, it has to do stuff we haven't seen before. One thing I thought was so funny about the show when it first started was the fact that I never saw many of the jokes coming. Who was expecting this cute litte fatass... I mean boy to yell out, "You get your bitch-ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie"? Sometimes the funniest jokes can become the most tiresome, because writers can become dependant on them for big laughs. I really hope Parker and Stone didn't do that, but I don't think they would because they're smarter than that. Oh well... I'll just have to wait and see for myself next week. As long as that clapping guy doesn't sit next to me...
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My girlfriend and I went to see Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me a while ago, and aren't sure how we felt about that one, either.
You can read her account of the whole thing here:
http://members.aol.com/Mustangrrl/rant.html
We definitely laughed loud and hard at some parts, but as the movie wore on, we were getting more and more annoyed in general, and I think that bled over into our opinion of the movie.
We'll have to see it again to know how we really feel about it, this time on video...
-Dave -
A well-put adage that (good) comedy writers (like those who write for "The Simpsons") are aware of: A good joke can be used three times, at most. A bad joke dies once -- so why the fuck are you parading the corpse around?
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Watch for this to be out on video by Thanksgiving weekend.
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Good one abt chicli... thanks for the laugh -- Meaner
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Every reason you gave for not liking the film, will be the reasons why the fans will love it!
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One thing I learned this summer is, if it doesn't grab you by the l'apels in the previews & advance hype, wait for video. Liked Austin 1 but was disappointed by 2... Should have waited for video. I usually enjoy SP, but again, I don't think I'm ready to plunk down almost $10 for it.
So, is this Jar Jar guy the same intellectual that kept on about Rosie O'Donnell all last week? -
JAR JAR! YOUSA MAKIN BIG FOOL OFA YOUSELF! YOUSA GIVIN DA GUNGUNS UNA BAD NAME! WHERE YOUSA MANNERS?
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Last night I made the mistake of going to see The Generals Daughter, which was a boring, stupid and lame piece of shit. Anyways, what really drove me nuts was the whole time from the time the trailers rolled to the end of the film this couple in the back kid would start screaming and balling every five fucking minutes, usually when you were actually truing to listen to what was going on. A usher came down and told them to keep the kid quiet. They did for about 10 minutes then the little bastard started up again. I was about ready to strangle the brat. Right at the end during the climax, the fucker went off on a bender and my blood began to boil. Before I could bling a guy in the row in front of me, turned and yelled back "Shut that fucking kid up NOW!!!" to which the audience clapped. After the movie when we were walking out, the father of the kid started yelling at the guy for "dissing" him and his family to which the guy responded "I paid $7 to see The Generals Daughter not hear The Assholes Kid Crying." The management called the cops and the asshole with the kid tryed to make a racial issue out of it when they showed up (He was black, the guy was white). I stuck around with about 5 other people to back up the guy. The cops told him to fuck off.
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I'm so glad this issue finally came up here -- the reviewer writes that "every once in a while a guy like this is in the theater." I've found that not to be true: I don't know if it's just Los Angeles or what, but I find that this asshole is in the audience for literally every movie I see these days. In Boogie Nights it was the guy behind me SINGING ALONG with the entire soundtrack of pop music. In The Celebration a couple weekends ago it was the dumb-ass kicking the seats behind us. At The Matrix it was the young slimy gangsta looking man who was TAKING PHONE CALLS throughout the course of the film. At the Mystery Men screening at Universal, it was the kid next to me talking to his girlfriend the entire time. What the hell is going on here? Is it maybe that home video is destroying the theater-going experience? Thank you for allowing me to rant like this. Please drive through. Oh, and I concur that the whole Jar Jar impression probably needs to stop fairly soon.
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luckily i haven't had this problem for a while, but there was a time when i saw about 5 movies in a row, where every time i had some asshole sitting behind me and kicking my seat the whole time. not one of those "i sat in front of them and they couldn't see the screen" types of kicking the seat, since i was in a stadium-seating theater and these ppl always sat down behind me AFTER i was already in my seat, but ppl who think they can put their feet wherever the hell they want no matter who it bothers. I stopped going to the theater for months after this (no problem since there wasn't anything worthwhile coming out at the time, and i had just got my DVD player anyway). the worst of all was the guy who sat in front of me, in one of those rocker seats, and kept slamming it back into my knees. i was "THIS" close to dumping my drink on his head by the third or fourth time. now, with very rare exceptions, i only go to showings at off-times, and if someone sits behind me, no matter what, i get up and move. i'd say something like, 'if this sounds like you, do us all a favor and stay home,' but these ppl could care less anyway.
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The worst movie going experience I ever had was Contact. First off, the guy right behind me fell asleep and SNORED. I mean he really snored, so loud you could hear it all over the theater. The guy to the left of me went to the snack area and got him something to eat about every 15 minutes (literally) and upon his return his wife had to explain to him (in a loud voice) what he missed. It also irritated me that this guy declared halfway through the movie that he was "disappointed in it." How would he know he was in the snack bar for most of it!!!! As the final straw, 2 woman to my right talked constantly throughout the movie. One of them kept having to explain what was going to the other one. I did, however, overhear what sounded like a good chicken dish to serve from them (ha!)
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When people behind me are getting on my nerves, I can usually shoot them my go-to-hell glare and they're quiet. If this doesn't work, or if the annoying people are in front of me, I say, "We're not at your house, in case you didn't notice. Please be quiet." In a screening room with children, the rule is, if they're not screaming, they're asking their guardians/parents stupid fucking banal-assed questions too loudly. Shut these damn kids up! We don't need another generation of rude moviegoers.
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Jun 23, 1999 9:35:26 PM CDT
HellThought's rant on people who ruin the moviegoing experience.
by hellthought
I've spent many a film, some good, ("The Witches of Eastwick") some bad, ("Navy Seals", "Messecary Roughness") some very bad ("Barb Wire" and "The Arrival") trying to block out the noises, flying objects and bodily emmissions of the fucking bastard who thinks he has right a come to a theater and act like he's at home fucking his kids and beating his wife.
I know your pain. I've been pelted with Mike and Ike's, pennys, nickels, sometimes quarters, (Then I learned not to sit down in front.) I once sat next to an immense, gelatious bastard who must've greased the seat before he sat down and then proceeded to to provide a musical, body gas accompaniment to "Speed 2", (Which it turns out was bad even without the beer farts.)
I've had people actually FUCKING two seats away from me. Normally this kind of thing wouldn't bother me, but the couple in question were obsenely ugly and looking for a thrill I suppose. However, I submit that that whatever causes that smell under a fat man's stomach should be reason enough alone that he remain a virgin until he either dies or looses weight.
I sat down on a condom once. We won't go into that, but it was the one point in my life that I took off my pants in a parking lot and threw them away to drive home bare assed.
I watched one film, ("Alive") and this prankster type of college twit actually SHIT in a front row seat. What a wonderful aroma to complement the sorrow of people forced to canibalize their friends to survive.
Then there are those that are just loud. There are all kinds of these. There's the LOUD BECAUSE I CAN BE type, who just feels like everyone needs to hear what he has to say in order to enjoy a film. There's the ANNOYING USELESS SUIT type who feels like screaming into his cell phone during a film makes him look more important. (This also includes beepers, you techno-obsessed weenies. I don't care what you do for a living, turn the shit off when you go into a movie theater! You're waiting for your Senate Confirmation? Fuck you! You're waiting to see if you got the job? Suck my fucking cock! You're expecting your daughter to call after the delivery? I hope the bitch miscarries! Leave the beeping shit at home or turn it off!!!!!)
Then there's my personal favorite.
THE ANNOYING, LOUD RETARD! This a fucking retard. I'm not going to say mentally challenged, physically challenged whatever the fuck politically correct bullshit you suck these days, when you bring one of them into a film and they proceed to cry, scream, clap incessantly, proceed to run around the theater, hum the entire film, repeat everything that's said onscreen, laugh out loud over EVERYTHING! (That made "THE MATRIX" eat thirty of my dollars before I finally realized, hey, this is a good movie!) Or, if the little inbred waste of skin decides to scream POOP, POOP, POOP, POOP, POOP!!!!! over and over and over. It's a movie theater, leave your pets at home. I don't care if this is insensitive, I don't care if you find what I say apalling. I did not just drop twenty-six dollars to have me and my date entertained by the comic stylings of Jerry's Kids, I can get that for free or I can just pop "There's Something About Mary" into my DVD player again. (And let me say THANK YOU to the Farrelly Bros. for officially recognizing that retards are fucking funny and should be made fun of at every opportunity.)
So I think aside from dumping hot coffee on everyone who talks, or buying one of those wonderfully quiet soft air guns that shoot those wonderful little blue pellets and pinging everyone who breaks the unwritten rule.
Either hit the first uncrowded matinee, or buy a DVD player and wait for everything to hit video.
I love DVD, it's a truly cinematic experience especially if you own a TV as big as I do.
Theater behavoir is an important thing. Most people go to the movies in this age of non-involvement and health consciousness, safe sex boredom.
I know no one that would regularly do the things I've mentioned will read this, but I saw an opportunity to vent and I took it.
All I'm saying is that I don't talk, above a tiny whisper when I go to a movie. I don't throw things, I don't jerk off on the backs of seats. I don't shit in the seats, I don't conduct oral sex marathons. I don't leave my cell phone turned on, or my beeper. I sit down, and I WATCH THE FUCKING MOVIE!!!
That's what a theater is for.
Wow, this is amazing, I think I've unloaded about twenty years worth of pure hate right here.
God Bless Harry Knowles for providing this talk back! That's another first, never thought I'd say that.
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poor guy........im glad he owns a DVD and can "escape" the theater "hell"
i have never experienced problems as....severe as his....but man....there was one time that my friend wanted to keep people out of the seats in front of him that he super glued 2 tacks per seat...if u get the right kinda of thumb tacks...u wont be able to see em so well in the theater light....and when an ass sits down upon them......well...i felt sorry for the poor soles....but .....it was my friend(i wasntt present)---i am a saint
>:-)
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I can't tell you how much I HATE people being rude in movies, thinking no one could see or hear them, as if they're in their own little worlds. When I pay seven bucks for a movie, I expect my attention to be focused on the screen 100 percent. But then you get the assholes who HAVE to get up during a movie to go to the concession stand, go to the bathroom, or have a smoke. This is a movie theater, not your house, shitheads. Almost every movie I've seen lately, at least five people get up (not all at once--during the run of the movie), leave the theater, then come back about five minutes later. Sometimes they don't even have the courtesy to quietly close the door behind them. During a quiet scene, you'll suddenly hear a WHAM! coming from the door, and some idiot returning soon after with a giant tub of popcorn. Another annoyance is talking. People in front of me, behind me, on the sides of me, TALK!! Why? Because they feel like it. They think they're in their living rooms watching a video, so that gives them the excuse to bullshit throghout the movie. And it's not just kids either. Grown adults (?) carry on worthless conversations. Example: when I saw Kenneth Branagh's four-hour HAMLET in the theater, these two old ladies right behind me kept on babbling about everything under the sun (including the damned movie--like they never read HAMLET before). People on cell phones and with beepers are also extremely annoying. It's like their attactched to these things, and can't let them out of their sight, even for two hours in a theater. It's people like these who make me want to wait for video. Too bad, because I love going to the movies.
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I also hate inconsiderate pricks who bring their babies or small children to the movies. Unless the movie is aimed at kids, I see no reason why parents bring these screaming brats with them. Don't give me that crap that they can't find a babysitter. My parents never brought ME when I was a baby. When I saw THE TRUMAN SHOW, these people brought a four-year-old kid. Jim Carrey, right? Not even forty five minutes in, they got up and left. What a surprise. Carrey wasn't talking out of his ass. At least they were quiet. When I saw SCREAM, I heard the real thing in the theater. A young couple brought a toddler with them, and the kid was screaming and crying throughout the whole film.
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First of all, I kind of like JAR JAR BINKS the TalkBacker. I admit it, it's kind of cute to hear Jar Jar extolling the virtures of Kenny, and cheering on Leo. Anyways...I've been fairly lucky with bad movie experiences, although when I went to the Mummy, 9:30pm show, opening night, it was packed to the gills. I had to sit to the right of about twenty evelen and twelve or thriteen year old boys who all STUNK! The stench stayed with me the whole movie like they had just come from gym, but worse. Then, in front of me, is the generic couple I always have sitting in front of me. There's this hot chick, looking fairly classy, who's their with her slacker/skaterwhatever boyfriend. The boyfriend feels compelled to make wiseass remarks, and whenever a hot chick appears onscreen in a vulnerable pose, and shouts "Yeah baby!" or something like that. And then, behind me, was a slighty portly little pre-teen boy with a bad haircut, and wannabe t-shirt and shorts. Think Agnus, but younger, and not as cool. The theater was very racous, and the boy wanted to feel like her was there with 400 of his best buddies, I suppose, or t least show those around him how cool he was, by shouting to the screen his take on things. Something bad happens to a character onscreen we get "That Sucks!" Something cool happens "That, uh, Rocks." Then, when I saw Tarzan last weekend, I was surrounded by three generations of family. There was a grandpa in front of me who couldn't stop laughing, and little kids all around. But worst of all, there were too women, with a couple of little kids. They must have got confused, and thought they were going to daycare, because they let the little boy and girl run around the theater, making frequent stops at the front of the screening room, so they can point at the screen and say "Tarzan!" Blah.
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This isn't really movie related, but it deals with loud obnoxious assholes. A friend and I were up in the Detroit area at a trade show that we were distributing at. We were tired from being at the show all day so we stayed over at a Motel 6 in the suburbs. We are sitting around in the room watching HBO when a bunch of teenage jerks decide to have a party next door with the music blaring and pounding the walls and shit. After about 5 minutes of this my friend who makes Frank Rizzo look sedate decides to take care of the situation. He starts talking very loudly, like he was on the phone, about how he just whacked two people out, he's covered in blood and how he's sawed the bodies apart and has body parts laying all over the fucking place and needs some "cleaners" to come over and take care of it. He then goes on to say that if anyone finds out he'll have to fucking whack them out too. I'm sitting there listening to him doing this, trying not to bust a gut outloud. As soon as he was done, the room next door was dead fucking silent. You could have heard an ant fart. I told him it was too bad that we didn't have a garbage bag that we could put pillows and other shit in from the room and then drag it out to the car and put it in the trunk to freak the little bastards out.
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Some people shouldn't legally be allowed to attend movies and/or breed. Sounds cruel, yes? Absolutely....but...I know for a fact that when I was a kid (and an obnoxious one at that)I never, never acted or behaved like any of the little future United Workers of McDonalds at a movie theater! Know why? Because I wasn't allowed to go to a theater until I was reasonably mature enough to attend a film. My parents cared about other people. They didn't want to take a screaming 4 year old piss-ant to a theater...not because they didn't care for me.....but because they cared less about their personal time than about raising their kid right. What's happened to America? I was in Ireland last year for the summer. I never saw kids misbehaving to the extend they are allowed to roam free here in the States, unchained of any moral upbringing, or at least of a common sense of etiquette and respect. And why the hell are 4 and 5 year old kids being brought into R rated movies? The most recent example I can think of is "Payback." What parent in their right fucking mind would bring a kid into a movie like this? Not kid...hell a 4 or 5 year old hasn't formulated the magnitude of violence that's on the big screen. We wonder why this planet (no correction...just this country; Europe, despite all the political upheaval, has a greater sense of dignity about its people, manners and upbringing than America will ever find) is falling into disarray. Unfortunately, the answer lies in the movie theater...not because of the films that are being shown...but because of the careless, mindless parents who expose their unwitting children to mature material...before teaching them to behave like proper children. And it saddens me, because I think that film is the greatest medium. It's just being used by people who are unequipped to understand it. ::sigh::
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I should have proofread my post a little more carefully. The part of my rant which makes no sense is where I talk about the 4 or 5 year old kid in the theater with me at "Payback"....what reads "A 4 or 5 year old isn't mature enough to formulate violence" should be "A 4 or 5 year old does not have the faculties to appreciate or comprehend the balance between violence that is used in a film to show a reaction against conflict to further a story, in contrast to violence that is just used for the sake of having some blood on the screen. "Payback" tried to poke fun at senseless violence by having it's main character have a sense of morality by not being greedy in his pursuit of $75,000 stolen from him. But an average 4 or 5 year old kid cannot process this! All he or she sees is bullets being pulled out of Mel Gibson's ass, and pumped into Goons! A kid that young can't understand the morality play that is taking place. That's what I was trying to get at.
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You know, I've been reading Talk Balk now for at least 2 years, and I finally got an ID to discuss this (admittedly off-topic) subject. I just watched Saving Private Ryan a few months ago, and behind me were two kids who had no business being in a rated-R movie without an adult, least of all SPR. While they talked throughout the film, the clincher was when they were laughing at the soldier who was looking for his arm on the beach of Normandy. And then there was the premier of Batman and Robin, where this geek felt the need to extoll his vast knowledge of the Batman Universe to his friends (and the rest of the theatre), up until Mr. Freeze said "I hate when people talk during the movie", which prompted the biggest laugh and applause in the entire showing.
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It sounds like it. The big ol' bed-wetting doody-head!
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