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The latest International Eye Candy Report from Twitch!
International Eye Candy
September 17, 2008
This edition of the ol’ International Eye Candy comes in the wake of the 2008 Toronto International Film Festival, during which I ignored all matters of business other than watching and reviewing films at the fest. And so when I sat down at the desk at Twitch-central today to sort what trailers had come in during the last two weeks it was with a note of concern because I simply had no idea what was there. But no worries! We got Swedish masturbation, kung fu o’plenty, Spanish scifi, Russian spies, and good ol’ British splatter! Onwards!
We begin in China with THE EQUATION OF LOVE AND DEATH, one mighty slick looking crime thriller. Take a love sick cab driver, a drug dealer, a murder and assorted other motley elements and what do you get? Well, in this case you get a film that looks to play out like equal parts Michael Mann and vintage PT Anderson. If the movie even comes close to living up to the trailer this is going to be one of the highlights of the year.
EQUATION trailer here
From China we head to my home native land where we stand on guard for thee and children are lying, cheating, stealing, swearing bastards. The film is IT’S NOT ME, I SWEAR; it comes out of Quebec – where the French language film industry puts the Canuck English language industry to shame – and word is that this was the cream of the Canadian crop at TIFF, which makes me a little cranky that I missed it.
IT’S NOT ME trailer here
When will we tire of including stuff from TOKYO GORE POLICE in the ol’ IEC? Just as soon as they stop releasing more stuff like this. Sure, you’ll come for the splatter – and there’s lots of that – but part of what makes TGP so compelling is the detail work that went into creating a compelling world, and a big part of THAT is the quartet of mock-ads playing on televisions throughout the film. A sample? Well, there’s the anti-harikiri PSA, and the group of schoolgirls squealing about how cute their new wrist-slashing knives are. You get the idea … it’s sharp, nasty satire and all four have been released online.
All the TOKYO GORE you can handle here
Whether you know it as BATTLE OF THE PLANETS or G FORCE or under the original title of GATCHAMAN there’s no denying that the original anime series has been hugely influential, one of the first bits of Japanese animation to really cross over to America in a big way. Along with ASTRO BOY it was the first anime I was ever exposed to and my sister and I were totally fanatics for a couple years. And now it’s getting the CGI feature film treatment, coming from the same Hong Kong studio that produced the animated TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES flick. The first teaser has been released and it’s looking sweeeeeeet ….
Get yer GATCHAMAN here
Okay, I promised you a masturbating Swede and I here he is. Billed as the ‘least romantic comedy ever’ FATSO is the story of a porn addicted man – the titular fatso – trying to strike up a relationship in the real world. Look at that poster. Pretty much tells you all you need to know, really. You might want to be aware of who’s standing behind you when you check out the teaser for this one … I’m okay with it but your boss may feel a little differently than me when it comes to the extreme lactation.
Click here to share in FATSO’s dream
We’ve already hit Canada this time out and I wouldn’t want our fearsome southern neighbors to feel left out so here we go on a brief sojourn in the good ol’ USA for SOUTH OF HEAVEN. How to describe this one … it’s a wee bit of DICK TRACY with a wee bit of spaghetti western and giallo stylings thrown in for good measure. You’ve never seen anything quite like this one. Austinites will have the chance to see it on the big screen where it belongs at Fantastic Fest.
Head SOUTH OF HEAVEN here
He’s got flowing blond locks and a can full of laser gun whoop-ass. Yes, kids, big budget Russian scifi blockbuster INHABITED ISLAND returns to the land of International Eye Candy courtesy of a brand new and significantly longer trailer. It’s based on a novel by the same guys who wrote Tarkovsky’s STALKER, directed by the guy who did the stellar war picture 9TH COMPANY, and is one of the biggest budget Russian films ever. Rumblings are the Weinsteins are sniffing around it so expect it on these shores eventually but there’s no need to wait for the trailer …
Visit the ISLAND here
Though Korea’s Kim Ki-Duk has been in a bit of a slump lately – TIME and BREATH both underswhelmed – but it looks like the director of 3 IRON is back on form with his latest, SAD DREAM. Japanese mega-star Joe Odagiri stars in this surreal romance about a man and a woman brought together when they discover that the woman is sleepwalking the man’s dreams every night, not a good thing when one of them involved killing a man in a brutal traffic accident.
Enter the DREAM here
Okay, I promised you some kung fu and it’s time to deliver. Wu Jing is the most likely candidate to take up the kung fu mantle – he has the same master as Jet Li and was a multiple time Chinese national wushu champion – and is pushing forward in his quest to become exactly that by directing his own star vehicle, LEGENDARY ASSASSIN. Wu being a first time director means that the budget is small, Wu being Wu means that the kung fu is fantastic. This guy’s got the goods …
Find the LEGENDARY ASSASSIN trailers here
Fabrice du Welz’s VINYAN proved to be one of the more divisive films at the big Toronto fest – I thought it fell apart pretty badly in the back half, one of the other guys at Twitch thinks it’s one of the best films of the year – but here we are giving you another chance to decide for yourself. A third extended scene from the film has just been released for your perusal …
Check all three clips and the trailer here
Remember a few entries up when I said INHABITED ISLAND was one of the biggest budget films ever to come out of Russia? Yeah, this is it’s main competition. In production seemingly forever the release of horror story VIY has been pushed back to 2009 to coincide with the 200th birthday of novelist Nikolai Gogol – he wrote the source novel – and give the producers time to keep fiddling with the post production. And it looks like it’s paying off – every successive trailer looks better and the latest is the best of the lot. It still seems like a weird blend of A-film production values and B-film schlock but it’s a pretty compelling blend in my book …
A trio of VIY trailers here
We’ll hang out in Russia a little while longer but move the action up to the present day. The film is INVICIBLE, a spy thriller that could easily be a 1980s beefcake action flick, only with better production values. Big guns, big explosions, big breasts having shower-sex. It’s everything a growing boy needs.
Are you INVINCIBLE?
A bit more fu? You betcha. Hong Kong is finally realizing that it’s stars are aging fast and that other than Wu Jing there’s very little in the way of young, established stars ready to take the reins when Jet Li and Jackie Chan finally pack it in. So now they’re scrambling to find the next ones. Jackie just held a reality show contest to anoint his disciple, upcoming flick WUSHU is clearly designed to introduce some new talents and now here come CHAMPIONS, meant to do exactly the same thing. You don’t know these kids yet, but you will. They’re good and the action comes fast in a very old-school sort of way …
CHAMPIONS trailer here
I freely confess to not being the most knowlegable fellow in the world when it comes to Japan’s Shinobu Yaguchi but the writer-director has a HUGE following around the world thanks to his hits WATERBOYS and SWING GIRLS and he’s back with his distinctive brand of comedy. His protagonists have gotten a bit older this time, though, and he’s taking to the air – HAPPY FLIGHT is set in the world of airline attendants. Teaser’s brief but a hell of a lot of fun …
Board the FLIGHT here
We’re in the home stretch now, with just three entries left in this edition of International Eye Candy and we hand it to Spanish cult director Alex de la Iglesia to bring us home. Yeah, Iglesia’s working on a big budget project with Kenneth Branagh right now but before he gets to that he’s polishing up PLUTON BRB NERO, a cult scifi comedy series he prepared and directed for Spanish TV. Been waiting for Iglesia to get back to his roots? He just did.
Check the PLUTON teaser here
Our penultimate offering also comes from Spain, this one in the form of stop motion short CABARET KADNE. If you’re attending Fantastic Fest this year then keep an eye out for a short by the title of VIOLETA – a gruesome bit of work that will burn a hole in your soul – then come back and take another look at this because it’s the latest by the same directorial duo. In the right hands stop motion is one of the most disturbing things there is and these are definitely the right hands …
Visit the CABARET here
And to wrap things up we head to England and Jake West’s DOGHOUSE. West, you may recall, was the director of ridiculously fun splatter picture EVIL ALIENS and he swears up and down that this is the best thing he’s ever been involved with. Great cast – Danny Dyer of SEVERANCE, Stephen Graham of SNATCH and THIS IS ENGLAND – West’s wicked sense of humor and buckets of blood to bring it all home. It’s the story of a van full of men out on a drunken bender to help a friend through a rough divorce when they break down in a village populated by women driven mad by some airborne toxin. Watch out for the scissors, boys …
Check the DOGHOUSE trailer here
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I just have horrible taste in film or none of those films sound appealing. I'm sure it's just me.
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Did I overlooked it w few times or was it really gone for a while
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Sad Dream and Legendary Assassin have me excited.
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Don't worry about missing this film -- a agree that French Canadian films clearly beat English ones as a whole, but I saw this and was disappointed. Nice effort, but the kid is totally unsympathetic. It won't travel. Change 38407 to 38223 in the URL above and you can see my review.
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He's not Swedish. Fatso is a norwegian movie.
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Crap, you're right ... big time brain cramp there. Film's from one of my favorite production houses, too - they did Hawaii, Oslo and De Usynlige - so there's really no reason for me to have gotten that wrong ... I hang my head in shame ...
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Well I guess if it's you're first time directing, you can be anything you want. And re-staging the Matrix Revolutions fight in the rain looks pretty cool.
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Hope to see much more of it in the future.
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You realize you kill me every week with these heavenly temptations you dangle in my face. Gatchaman? I need to watch this right now, not sometime next year.Also, any word yet on when we'll get a DVD release of Der Rote Baron over here?
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South of Heaven was online for Fantastic Fest (and may still be). It's a very interesting unnique film, but I personally found it to fall a little flat. It's got some great acting though, especially from the guy who plays Mad Dog.Wu Jing is really an amazing martial arts performer. I still think his best work was in Sha Po Lang, also starring Donnie Yen. That fight in the alley is amazing. It's so fast and fluid, with such an intense rhythm, that it hardly feels choreographed at all. It looks totally improvised, which is insane considering the speed at which the two of them are moving.
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so is it live action (I imagine something like Speed Racer) or is it some form of animation?
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VIY looks pretty interesting. I sat there for the first part of the trailer, wondering why this was the most expensive russian picture, figuring, wow, those beards must be made out grade-a yak hair or something, because I'm not seeing it. And then crap starts going down the church, and it look's like big budget evil dead or something.
Wierdest bit of that was that russia seems to have adopted the black haired creepy moving ghost girl. Odd.
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Twitch, did anyone over there see Dante 01? I really wanted to catch it, and haven't been able too yet. Was wondering if it was worth the time it takes to hunt it down.
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Starting to see some reviews for Sauna show up here from FF. I really dug Jade Warrior, and felt it was a nice blending of two different cultural myths. It was great to see the lead from Man Without a Past as a hammer wielding villian as well. So, is Sauna worth our time? It looks more in the horror vein, and if all the elements that worked in Jade Warrior work here, then it will definitely be on my must see list. But I've heard conflicting reports about it's quality. Input would be appreciated. Thanks.
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Yea, it was really cool to be able to see that one here. I tend to agree with Kungfu, that it was an interesting experience to watch, and based upon that first viewing I was more enthusiastic about it than I am now after a second viewing. It almost fell apart for me that second time. Still, I think there is definitely alot of talent at work there, even though this particular piece feels quite clunky. It was said before but Diora Baird as Lily, and Mad Dog were the odd highlights of the film and added to the off-kilter noir feel. Meanwhile Jon Gries and his associate sank almost every scene they were in-not their acting as much as the entire concept of their characters.
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Sorry I'm so full of questions here, but you guys are usually the only ones I can expect to get an answer from regarding these things.
Last spring got a chance to see the spanish animated film Nocturna, and really liked it alot. It wasn't as complex as Miyazaki or as beautifully bizarre as Chomet's Triplets, but I did enjoy it's imagination and it's child-like story. It's definitely aimed at a younger audience, but there is quite a bit for film lovers of all ages to enjoy. Thing is, will there ever be a dvd release with english subs? It's a film I'd love to show some of our younger relatives, but wonder if that chance will ever present itself.
Also, been looking for the spanish language short Home Delivery based on King's short story. Whatever happened to this? Where can I find it? I've been trying to hunt this down since 2006, after it was scheduled to play Fantasia. -
Morning fellas. Reading all that Fantastic Fest stuff has me salivating. We've all seen a few of the big movies but Weird and Gore Police need to come out now.Jonah, I have Der Rote Baron but it doesn't have subtitles and my German ain't so good. I started to watch The Banquet but had to stop because company came over. Full backal nudity of Zhang Ziyi was a nice treat.Watched Iron Man. Good movie but that ending aped Robocop 2 and was weak compared to the first 2/3's. Still, one of the better origin stories.
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I love The Banquet. If I failed to recommend that you before, I'm sorry. Just slipped my mind. I think it's a gorgeous film. Not to much really shady stuff in the film, but depends on your company. It's more that it was all handled sensually, than that it was super revealing. I loved the operatic feel of the movie. That scene where the soldiers attack the outdoor theater was brilliant. I dig Yimou's flicks like Hero, HOFD, and Curse of the Golden Flower but this one schooled them all. We have the Japanese version of Lear with Ran, and this is the Chinese Hamlet, so what's next: The Korean A Midsummer Night's Dream? I hope so.
Oddest delight of the summer: That Speed Racer was better than Iron Man. IM was a very solid film, but you are right on the money about the Robocop bit.
Also, I have to thank you again. Your movie packages have helped ease the pain of not being at FF. It's great to hear people raving bout stuff like Chocolate and The Chaser, and not feel envy since I've already seen them. Between having seen Chaser and Let the Right One In, I feel like I might have already seen the best FF has to offer save for Good, Bad Wierd.
I agree,that and TGP can't come quick enough.
I spread the film love yesterday. I gave a friend Shinobi, Machine Girl, Wedding Campaign, Antarctic Journal and Romance of the Three Kingdoms. I told him he could keep those, but I required that he actually bring Shinobi and Daisy back.
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and I'm kind of surprised to see no report on Eden Lake or Eden Falls or whatever the fuck it's called, which our papers have been tying themseleves in knots over- it's either 2008's The Descent or a revoltingy exploitative piece of elitist commentary. I lean towards the latter, frankly, because I think that they've tried to transplant US white trash horror to Britain, and it doesn't really work here for the following reasons: 1)We're not scared of Chavs. We're just not. And the hoody wearing group as menacing predator has been done to death in things like music videos (Aphex Twin, Massive Attack), and TV. 2)Lack of Space. One reason that the white trash in things like TCM are so frightening is the isolation- you're thousands of miles from help and are, therefore, fucked. It doesn't work when you can just cross the Bridge between Primrose Hill and Camden and lose them all. 3)Squalor. For this to work, I always think you need a special kind of rural squalor. It doesn't work when it's in a more confined area. There are exceptions that prove the rule- noticably The Wicker Man, Straw Dogs, American Werewolf in London. But all 3 of these feature Yokels and isolation.
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Holy crap HOD. How did I miss this one? I remember renting Tae Guk Gi on a whim, and loving it. That and Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance and Musa before it were my intros to Korean cinema, and how good it could be. But Silmido totally schooled Tae Guk Gi as a war film. I had to do some invesigative work after the effect to found out how much of this actually happened.
Fantastic movie. I'm wishing I saw it back in 2003 at it's release, but I'm just glad I got the opportunity to see it all. Great inclusion. I knew nothing of it, but now it's definitely one of my favorites in the set. Tied at the top with The Chaser and I'm a Cyborg but that's OK.
Dirty Dozen step aside. Silmido is the king! -
doh!
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how was your weekend?
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what is it about?
Any good local movies out right now over your way? -
Danny "facking" Dyer? you have to be joking. Mind you, that scouse geezer from this is England was great as the skinhead.
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Mrs. Jarv hasn't finished her 70's Pacino binge yet- so this weekend was Dog Day Afternoon. Which is much better than I remembered it being.
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not Eden Falls. And this is the IMDB synopsis- "Nursery teacher Jenny and her boyfriend Steve, escape for a romantic weekend away. Steve, planning to propose, has found an idyllic setting: a remote lake enclosed by woodlands and seemingly deserted. The couple's peace is shattered when a gang of obnoxious kids encircles their campsite. Reveling in provoking the adults, the gang steals the couple's belongings and vandalizes their car leaving them completely stranded. When Steve confronts them, tempers flare and he suffers a shocking and violent attack. Fleeing for help, Jenny is subject to a brutal and relentless game of cat-and-mouse as she desperately tries to evade her young pursuers and find her way out of the woods. Exhausted and distraught, she finally arrives back to the safety of the town. And meets the parents... " It seems to be fucking everywhere at the moment and I have less than zero interest in it.
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If you're going to do a "remote setting" then having them attacked by the working class is just daft. It obviously isn't that remote. It sounds like a clicheburger wrapped in a poo-flavoured bun hackney bun. And that stupid woman who revies films in The Sunday Telegraph gave it 4 out of 5. This is relevant because she is completely unequipped to review genre films (she only gave TDK 2 out of 5 based on the most stupid "It's NOT TIM BURTON's VERSION WAAAAH") in general and Horror in particular. She keeps writing about Violence in cinema being bad. Ergo- she is not equipped to fairly review a horror film.
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this kind of "horror" is the latest rage, and Im entirely sick of it. Lets see, recently I've seen Ils, Calvaire, The Strangers, Backwoods and Sheitan. And every one of those were terrible, save for Backwoods and They which were merely dismissable.
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Sep 22, 2008 8:25:24 AM CDT
Just make sure Mrs. Jarv stays clear of 88 Minutes
by hawaiian organ donor
I hear it's beyond awful. I normally catch all of Pacino's stuff, but I'm avoiding that mess.Silmido was aces. Such an amazing cast. Surprised you never saw it.Speed Racer ran circles around Iron Man. Speed and Red Cliff are still my two favorite movies of the year.
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you ever figure out how to wrangle zhura? I put up a group writing exercise where we all submit something. Was thinking you or Mrs. Jarv might want to contribute.
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I was adding some thoughts and now it's booted me off again. I think it's my crappy work server, to be honest.
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And youse guys is over here!
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is that no decent horror seems to be coming out at all during the fall months. Jack Brooks hits dvd Oct 8th, and I hear Trick R Treat may be hitting dvd soon as well, and of course Outlander in November, but not much at all theatrical. Rather disappointing.
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see- one of my best friends saw it and fucking hated it. His opinion was something along the lines of "It's like being arse raped with a bag of skittles, and having to pay for the privelege." However, and I can't believe I'm about to say this, I wish I'd gone to see it instead of Indy 4. Ain't hindsight wonderful?
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Chitty Boom Bots! - Guess what time it is?
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Neigh!!!!!
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that's (unbelievably) got a cinema release in London. Which is all you need to know about the current paucity of material.
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I loved it. Not quite as much as I loved Iron Man - but I am an Iron Man geek. He was my number one comic book for a long time. But Speed Racer was my favorite cartoon of all time. They absolutely neailed it. I could quibble over the treatment of the Mach 5 at the end of the movie, and a few odds and ends. But it was an awesome treat for Speed racer lovers.
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Sep 22, 2008 8:58:00 AM CDT
If you ever decide to watch it and end up hating it
by hawaiian organ donor
Then I apologize, Jarv. I understand it's not for everyone. But for people who as kids came home from school and made a bee line to the TV to watch the cartoon, it was the fulfillment of everything you imagined a live action version would be as an 8 year old boy.But I can see how the frantic action and explosion of colors would turn most people off.
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It's supposed to be good. I don't know how it managed to get a nationwide release though.
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I did not go overboard on Iron Man, and actually think that if you took Downey out of it then it really isn't up to much. But Downey was so good that the film rates in as a solid 7 out of 10. Which is amazing when I reckoned on it being a 5 at most.
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Several years ago. Really a very interesting slice of life about things you would never be aware of. I love any good movies about 'foreign' cultures that present a real picture and not a postcard.
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but you never know. I am surprised that this one got a chance. I bet it gets completely overlooked by the moron public though
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I am surprised I had not heard of it already.
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And why the fuck does he keep expanding all over the shop whenever I am careless with my mouse?Fuck that guy.
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usually the fall is a time for good film over here, but Im really not excited for much of anything coming up. Blindness looks potentially interesting, but I can't say Im excited for it in the same way I was for Constant Gardener or Children of Men.
Apaloosa looks good. Eagle Eye will hopefully be fun. City of Ember is pretty high on my interest list. But everything is suprisingly "meh" right now. -
Sep 22, 2008 9:26:56 AM CDT
we're not even on the list?! What the fuck....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....what a sad sight this morning!
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we will get there. How was your weekend? see anything?
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I watched MIB II on tv yesterday. Hehehe. That movie is better 7 years later.
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Who is Jack Brooks, and why should I give a shit?
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and the fact that it is better 7 years later is not really a recommendation. It was too short, and too shallow. I'd have preferred it if they'd followed Will Smith and Linda Fiorentino as the agents and TLJ had been kidnapped by intergalactic arseholes.
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Is that the one where we're expected to believe that Lara Flynn Boyle is attractive to male humans?That is just stupid. I mean, it's one thing to swallow aliens and magic ray guns and whatnot, but that is just taking things too far.
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...I wouldn't introduce her to my mother-- but I'd hit it up in a motel room in Chinatown once or twice.
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about 10 years before MIB 2. Red Rock West, for example.
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....he needs to give me a Bad Boys 3, and an MIB 3 and then fucking retire. I can give a shit about anything else he ever does.
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but back in Twin Peaks time. Hell- I'd nail that.
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Sep 22, 2008 9:48:33 AM CDT
Lara got all skinny and weird looking now......
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....last a I saw her she looked like she weighed 80 pounds. She needs liquid protein injected straight into her vagina to put on some weight.
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horrid idea Dannyboy. Not only would they be subject to the Rule of 3's but part 2 in both those cases was hardly cinematic gold.
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...it was entertaining and funny as shit. I think it destroyed the first Bad Boys film.
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I liked that one. It's got this actor in it, Nicolas Cage - he was also in Wild At Heart and Leaving Las Vegas and Adaptation - but I never seem to hear about him any more. That guy was good.I know there's that other Nicolas Cage - he makes awful action films about characters who wear wigs - but what happened to the other one?P.S. I was always a die-hard Sherilyn Fenn man myself, so I would never do Lara Flynn Boyle back in the Twin Peaks days. Jesus fucking Christ, Sherilyn Fenn was hot.
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to be swallowing said liquid protein?
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that damaged my formative years
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...is everything that is wrong with Hollywood films writ very, very large.For shame, Michael Bay. Also, for shame, Henry Rollins. What the fuck were you thinking?
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If it involved Sherilyn Fenn and Sheryl Lee.Mmmmmm... Twin Peaks saaaaandwich...
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There was this film called Adaptation where he played 2 characters. However, even the good cage would not be up to that so a secret lab staffed with TOP MEN cut him in half. The lesser twin with the wig fetish now keeps the artistically inclined one locked in a cellar, where he feeds him on a diet of fish heads and he cries at the inexorable descent his career is on.
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As the Diceman once said, "In your crack or on your back. In your snatch or down the hatch. Decide soon, honey as there ain't no cork on this thing."Jonah, the fall will be good for no other reason than we'll be catching up on foreign films so I'm too concerned that Hollywood has nothing in the pipe that really interests me.
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You'd think I could type after 5 cups of coffee.
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(When the young dude comes to pick up Martin's daughter)
Martin: How old are you?
Kid: 16.
Martin: Nigga-- you look 30. You a virgin?
Kid: Yes sir.
Martin: Good. Keep it that way-- ain't gonna be no fucking ta' night!! -
Me and the Coen brothers and possibly David Lynch are going to team up in a new Musketeers type arrangement and free Cage from his prison, where he is no doubt being held by the nefarious Baron Von Bruckheimer.Fish heads is no kind of diet for Sailor Ripley to be living on.We're coming for you, the real Nicolas Cage!
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Okay HOD, I'm down to the last 3 pictures of that massive 16 film set you sent me.
This week, I'll be catching up with Empress and her Warriors, Open City and The Show Must Go On. I'm leaving Show until last, because it's korean, and based on the rest of the set, it's likely to be the strongest.
And that will draw to a close the second set, which you really outdid yourselfon HOD. Thus far, there hasnt been a bad film in the bunch, though there have been a few weak ones. 3 Kingdoms and The Restless were o.k. adventure flicks, but nothing too special. Still, that currently means that 13 out of 16 films have been positive, and I have no reason to suspect the next 3 aren't at least as good as Restless or 3K. So, if it ends up being 16 for 16, impressive work HOD! -
But it seems to me that - just like testicles prove there is no such thing as intelligent design - the ongoing success of Martin Lawrence proves there is no God.I choose to believe no loving and all-powerful deity would allow Martin Lawrence to be anything other than a lavatory attendant.
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It was far more explosively entertaining than part one. Just mondless gun battles, but I enjoyed it. However, no part three of BB or MIB
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The - uh, testicles part!
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Sep 22, 2008 10:11:08 AM CDT
Franklin -- did you ever watch the show MARTIN?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Martin Lawrence is a man who might or might not be a vampire... and he's going to teach the white folks how to loosen up and get funky and shit!If that's the case, maybe I'll watch it.What I'm saying, Danny, is no.
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One joke stayed with me all these years. Martin: You are gonna be late for the meeting Unknown person: What meeting? Martin: The meeting between my foot and your ass!
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Sep 22, 2008 10:16:48 AM CDT
Jonah, II slog through the garbage so you don't have to
by hawaiian organ donor
And the next batch might very well top the first two depending on whether I can get my hands on certain titles that are proving elusive.Bad Boys II was fun to watch in the theater at a midnight showing with a case of beer in me and my bud. I can't tell you what it's like sober.
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Are people here actually defending Martin Lawrence?What the fuck?
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I respected many of you people, but now you have good things to say about Bad Boys II?If Satan made a film, it would be Bad Boys II!
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His stand up comedy is gold, and his show was hilarious. The only problem is he has fallen into the Ice Cube trap of making a shitload of money off kiddie films. If he made a hard R comedy-- it would be gold once again. -
Someone named jagga posted a comment about Megan Fox that was so grotesque it made me taste sick in my mouth, but i think I preferred reading that to all these horrifying comments about how Martin Lawrence is 'good' and 'funny'.I'm actually crying a little bit as I type this.
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I read the post. He wants someone to blow a wad in her eye and up her nose? I'm pretty sure that guy posting is David Hasselhoff.
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seriously that Thin Line between Love and Hate "effort" that he was in was just nasty.
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Sep 22, 2008 10:31:34 AM CDT
His stand - up is very funny. But he is a one note actor
by toadkillerdog
When he is partnered with a stronger actor or comic, he is at his best. But when he is asked to carry the load, it can be awful. That being said, I am not a true 'fan' of his, but there are certainly much worse stand-up/actors out there. Dane Cook anyone?
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He needs stronger meds. Frankly. Even I'm a bit revolted and I laughed when I heard the pirate sex joke.
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I had a terrible and pointless crush on her, which is by the by. Anyway, she never mentioned anything to me about golden rule number one being that she had to get 'hammered by cock' after she had sex with her girlfriend. Not once.That means either her or jagga has some duff information.
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is not an excuse. Seriously- look at his films. They blow. Hard.
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Sep 22, 2008 10:37:21 AM CDT
Woman finds 47 year old man asleep in son's bed....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
BILLINGS, Mont. - A man was charged with burglary after he allegedly broke into a home, ate cheese from the refrigerator, made a mess in a bathroom and fell asleep on a child's bed.
Tracy Mullins, 47, of Billings, was arraigned in District Court on Thursday by video from the county jail.
Mullins pleaded not guilty to burglary. Judge Susan Watters set bail at $5,000 after rejecting a request that he be released without bail. Public defender Richard Phillips, who made the request, said Mullins had been receiving mental-health counseling.
Court records indicate a woman awoke in her home Monday at 8:30 a.m. to the sound of snoring coming from her 2-year-old son's bedroom. Her son had slept that night with her and her husband.
The woman said she found a strange man sleeping in her son's bed. She woke her husband and left to call police from a neighbor's house. The husband confronted the man with an unloaded shotgun and held him until police arrived.
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A little sanity on the Martin Lawrence Jesus issue. I thought I was going nuts for a while there.P.S. I just re-read my post about jagga, and the phrase 'hammered by cock' has got me laughing so hard I can't stop, and now my boss is peering over the divider between our desks with a deeply puzzled look on her face. Maybe I should hammer her with cock, I don't know.
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Have you accepted Jesus into your post?
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they only work in pairs. Sorry. Anyway back to Lawrence: Courtesy of IMDB this is his CV:
Big Momma's House 2 (2006) Not seen, but I bet it's crap Rebound (2005) Not seen
Bad Boys II (2003)Crap (Malaysia: English title)
National Security (2003) .Crap
Black Knight (2001) AAAARGHHHH
What's the Worst That Could Happen? (2001) horrendous
Big Momma's House (2000) beyond crap
Blue Streak (1999)Crap
Life (1999/I) crap
Nothing to Lose (1997) Crap
A Thin Line Between Love and Hate (1996) offensively dreadful
Bad Boys (1995) His Best effort
Boomerang (1992) Crap Why have I seen all this shit. It's taking up brainspace that could be more usefully utilised elsewhere. -
....both he and Shia should be taken to the old ruins of a Nazi bunker and be shot, stabbed, hung, and dehydrated like teriyaki jerky.
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Top five actors whose movies blow hard but still are working.
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Don't tell me - Martin Lawrence is turning this news item into a feature length film?I get it. Martin Lawrence plays a hapless black heterosexual burglar who falls asleep in the home of a white family. When he wakes up, comical shenanigans ensue. Also, he teaches those uptight white folk to loosen up and get funky and shit!
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Life is definitely not crap. Its a decent film. And Black Knight is a fun, family friendly comedy. Boomerang?!! He's in it for like 5 minutes. Thats that movie with Eddie Murphy banging the shit out of hot bitches the whole time, right? How can you not like that movie?
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that freak is a poet. Provided you like your poetry scrawled in crayon on toilet paper.
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#1 GEORGE CLOONEY
#2 SHIA THE BEEF I gotta think about the rest..... -
is most certainly crap. The fact that it is better than those other 2 does not excuse it. Boomerang- Murphy is OK. Lawrence is horrible. Do you not remember him crying in it? Black Knight was so awful that I actually prefer the Whoopie Goldberg Camelot thing to it. It redefines woeful and the fact that it is a family movie is not the point. The Princess fucking Bride is a family movie and kicks all sorts of ass.
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1) Nicolas cage 2) Nicole Kidman 3) Dane Cook 4) Ryan Reynolds 5) Steven Seagal
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I don't remember that. I was focusing on the nice back light on all the well moisturized ass, and the precision of Eddie Murphy's moustache.
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Sep 22, 2008 10:47:54 AM CDT
how can you have Nicole Kidman on the same list...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...as Dane Cook? Jesus.
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I don't know what the hell is the matter with you, Danny.Are you feeling okay?
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...I don't mind Martin at all. I know you enjoy some shit films that would make me squirm as well Franklin.
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Sep 22, 2008 10:50:11 AM CDT
No one insults Ryan Reynolds and gets away with it!
by franklin t marmoset
That guy is great! I love that man as much as any heterosexual man can love another heterosexual man who he has never actually met!Take that back now, toad!
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Like I said, Bad Boys 2 was a fun romp under the heavy influence of beer. Copious amounts of booze can even make dying fun.
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I have enjoyed many shit films. I can't deny that one.
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Nicole is over-rated, and over paid. Ryan - was never rated, but still over paid!
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#1 SETH ROGEN
#2 SHIA THE BEEF
#3 CLOONEY
#4 MATT DAMON
#5 LEO DICAPRIO -
Almost five. Time to go. Time to go and hammer things by cock. Or with cock, I'm not entirely sure how that works.I'll see all you Martin Lawrence-loving douchebags tomorrow.
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Barely
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...but I think her body of work is already far too solid for her to ever be overrated. Unless she started doing nothing but Transformers sequels or some shit.
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He should just stop appearing in movies. Period.
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Sep 22, 2008 10:57:20 AM CDT
awww pillow.....don't you defend Ben Stiller movies?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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pony tailed fatso doesn't get paid anymore, he just goes for the buffets.
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but I think I have to come to Danny's aid regarding Life. First, I think he and Eddie actually had a decent amount of chemistry in that film. It's also a Ted Demme film and a period film on top of that. I found it to be funny and sort of engaging as well. I was surprised that I liked it, and it's not like the whole thing worked perfectly, but really, Life was fine movie. Every single other thing Lawrence has done has been positively wretched and then some.
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Sep 22, 2008 10:58:25 AM CDT
oh FUCK!! BEN STILLER!! Gotta change my list again...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
#1 SETH ROGEN
#2 BEN STILLER
#3 SHIA THE BEEF
#4 CLOONEY
#5 MATT DAMON
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is solid, but not George Clooney's?
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I am shocked. Shocked - that he is not number 1 on your list. Getting soft Danny.
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Sep 22, 2008 11:00:17 AM CDT
man...the difference in opinion amazes me sometimes....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Its not like I think Martin is amazing. I just find him okay....and I used to enjoy his show. But it amazes me you can find him so horribly wretched Jonah, and then be excited for Eagle Eye on the next breath. Amazing....amazing.
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as well. Im with Jarv in thinking BB2 was junk.
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Give him a few more years.
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Maybe for $2.35, but hey it is still a check.
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Sep 22, 2008 11:05:35 AM CDT
Is this a list of actors who haven't had a hit in years...
by hawaiian organ donor
...you can't believe are still working or actors you can't stand that you feel can't act worth a damn?
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Top 5 actors that make you wonder, "WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY STILL GETTING WORK?!!"
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Sep 22, 2008 11:07:32 AM CDT
Jarv, I've got a friend who's going to be in London...
by hawaiian organ donor
...and I figured you'd be the guy to tell me what the very best area for pubs is.
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...a little bit now that Indy IV is far behind us. Thinking back on the experience now is like a distant memory of drug induced date-rape. Its an uncomfortable, dreadful memory-- yet you sometimes wonder, did it happen? Was it all a horrible dream?
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Im not a giant Shia fan. But, I also have never actually had him ruin anything by his presence. I think the hate directed at him has not so much to do with what he actually does up on screen, save for Indy 4, and Lucas deserves almost all that blame. So, for me Shia isn't gonna ruin a movie. And I quite liked Disturbia. D.J. Caruso has turned in some interesting films, and it looks like a fun little action thriller. For the middle of the fall, that's not a bad thing. I don't have any real ill will towards Martin as a person, but I never watched his show and his persona never made me want to. And each and every one of his movies, save for those I mentioned, have been poorly concieved vehicles for his persona. So, I don't know how comparing what looks to be a potentially decent action film with a series of movies that were half planned centered around an actor whose schtick annoys/bores me are relatable.
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1. Zach Braff
2. Dane Cook
3. Meryl Streep
4. Ashton Kutcher
5. Martin Lawrence -
ban Dakota Fanning from films.
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Michael Clayton. Syriana. The Peacemaker. Out of Sight. Intolerable Cruelty (I liked that one).I haven't seen a bunch of his other stuff though...
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Sep 22, 2008 11:20:31 AM CDT
That's easy. None of these bums should be in movies
by hawaiian organ donor
1) Freddie Prinze Jr.2) Wes Bentley3) Zach Braff4) Anthony Anderson5) Chris Tucker
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and I'd add the whole cast of Monster In-Law. I recall that one as one of the more hideous attempts at destroying my soul by watching that evil piece of cinematic shit.
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That movie was great- Now, perhaps my view is jaundiced because that was the first time I saw the great ass of Jennier Lopez. When she is getting into the trunk of the car! OMG!!
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I don't know if he did movies before or since, but he should do something else with his life. Perhaps catch the footballs after attempted field goals.
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Only one Anglo on that list!
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Hehe. Wasn't he in one fucking movie? Or are you counting Scrubs?
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I know you are not in the least bit racist. But not including Dane Cook?
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What the fuck? Anthony Anderson is the bomb man.....in Exit Wounds-- teamed up with Tom Arnold? Gold. Kangaroo Jack...a fine film.
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And I don't understand the Clooney hate either. The guy goes to Darfur without a bodyguard fer christsakes. Hell, none of us would do that and we don't have a pot to piss in let alone a line up of hot chicks waiting to bang us and an Italian chalet.
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Garden State (if there is a garden state, the U.S. should attack it and say it had WMD's. Nuke the fucker.) and The Last Kiss (she should have just run him over).
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Always catch it like half way through.
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He does an amazing turn in The Shield, then turns around and does Kangaroo Jack-Off and vice versa.
If anyone has seen him in the Shield as the gang leader, wow. -
Number two - is: Sean William Scott.
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The EX, Last Kiss, Garden State(which was a fine movie if you removed him-yea, I know he was mostly responsible for it, but Im talking only his acting). Mostly, though, yea Im talking Scrubs. He irritates me to end.
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...I remember enjoying that trailer. And Garden State was a pretty good film. Just a little dull in parts. But not nearly as dull as Syriana, the "Look at me!! Look at me!! I'm important" film of 2005
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was also great in that short lived K-Town show.
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I just remember Anthony Anderson squealing like a girl in Transformers and killing the guy in the chair next to me so I could offer up his liver to the gods in the hope Anderson would never act again.You guys watch way too much crap. I can't put Dane Cook on the list because the only movie I've seen with him was Good Luck Chuck and I was drunk as hell and can't remember much.Zach Braff was in 3 of the worst movies ever made: Garden State, The Last Kiss and The Ex. I needed lasik after watching all three.Ok, I just thought of someone. Take Anthony Anderson off the list and insert Jessica Simpson. She's OK to look at but I can't stand the sight of her when she opens her mouth.
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I would literally try and bang every hot girl at every function I went to.
And by that I mean at the grocery store, Oscars, gas station, Italy, PC-1 highway.
I would storm into bachelorette parties screaming, sucker punch the male stripper, run into the bedroom and scream "Bring It!!!"
What Segal is to a catered function I would be to women if I was Clooney. -
Clooney takes chances. He does not always succeed, but he is willing. And he plays against type well. Damon has more range - but he does not push the envelope.
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He wiped the expression of getting ass raped off my face for about 3 minutes during Transformers.
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You know like at a office when they stamp an address instead of writing it all the time?
If I were Clooney I would have a stamp with permanent ink that said "Clooney has been here. Even if you are here, she is still thinking about me. Cheers!"
I would just stamp when I got done, tip my hat and leave for the next one. -
Had no idea Anderson was in either. But I've taken him off my list so I've given him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he's good when not portraying a stereotype.
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I liked him better when he was the chunky kid from Stand By Me.
I bet he would have been the white version of Anthony Anderson.
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Or is it Kirsten Dunce? I can't remember and really don't care.
She just seems distracting on the screen, almost irritating.
I don't hate her, but she really is annoying sometimes.
Elizabethtown anyone? -
in The Magnificent Seven - on our old TB?
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What the fuck? He surrounds himself with the pack of schmucks over and over again. He grows a fucking beard for Syriana and the world drops to their knees to suck his dick at the prospect of how "Daring" he is. He's another Jack Nicholson. He doesn't fucking act. He plays himself over and over again-- whether it be the Oceans movies, Syriana, One Fine Day (one of his films I do enjoy), Intolerable Cruelty, his cameo in Spy Kids, or Out of Sight. He is a master at portraying George Clooney, and playing up that charming, fast talking loveable guy we all know. How has he ever taken risks? Because he gained 5 pounds of Syriana and bragged about his brain hemorrhage for a fucking year?
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sums up everyhting wrong with Bayformers. CHEAP. GAGS.
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As long as he gets to carry the gun like Bronson did in Death Wish II.
A Chupacabra with a hand cannon would put asses in the seats! -
above? Watch the VIY trailer, but make sure you watch the whole thing. The first half looks a bit "meh" and then it ramps up into a pretty cool looking horror thriller. A certain castle related idea I pitched over at Z would potentially have the feel of the last half of that trailer. Check it out.
Also, that Fatso trailer is messed up.
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She is very annoying on screen. Has an odd face and the legendary snaggleteeth. I almost spit up laughing when she said that making a spiderman movie without Tobey, Sam and her would never work. You could jettison Sam and her, and it would be great! I understand why Raimi wanted to cast a woman who was nowhere near as good looking as the comic book MJ - because Tobey aint exactly a heartthrob. But do not try and build her up as good looking when she aint. Cue Maggie G in TDK - Ledger calling her beautiful - the entire audience groaned at that one. Every time.
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Sep 22, 2008 11:49:47 AM CDT
Clooney takes chances as a producer/director, not an actor.
by hobocode
Michael clayton, A Scanner Darkly, Syriana, The Jacket, K Street, Unscripted, Far From Heaven, Insomnia, Good Night and Good Luck, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, Fail Safe (the best made for TV film ever made).
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...I think she is a very naturalistic sort of actor. She was great in Eternal Sunshine, Marie Antoinette, Wimbeledon, Crazy/Beautiful, Get Over It. She's done a lot of cool shit. People just focus on her Spider-Man shit. Which I don't find her horrible in....people just want some fucking whore Meagan Fox looking trashy broad as every romantic interest I guess.
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directing Good Night and Good Luck at all, let alone in black and white. Choosing to make Solaris, an adaptation of a russian sci-fi novel whose only previous adaptation was over three hours and directed by a christian mystic who never met a static scene he couldnt stretch for ten minutes.
Like him or not, Clooney is a risk taker. I fall in the like him category. And Syriana was actually a good movie. Is Leatherheads out yet? I want to see that. -
This twitch column is one of my favorites.
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is leatherheads on dvd yet?
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Not a big fan but she has been great in Coppola's films (i.e. Virgin Suicides and Marie Antoinette). Everything else is crap.
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She is too plain - just like Maggie G. But when she is continually foisted upon movie going public as one, it cause a backlash. She has supporting role looks - and occasional flashes of lead talent.
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Yes, I will give her credit for that one.
Also I loved James Woods character in that movie.
When he was explaining airplanes to those boys and you could tell he was really into it and the boys were just worried about trying to get those sisters. -
He will come out blazing and make the audience ignore the fact that he is the ugliest non-human on screen since Gary Busey!
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And just where has ThereWolf been, I ask? Suspicious
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And it was shot here in town and the surrounding area so it deserves props. And yes, that is a film he took a risk on. It was never going to be a box office hit and in fact lost $20M. People can call Good Night Good Luck Oscar bait all they want but David Strathairn deserved a role of that caliber and in these times it tells a crucial message. As did Syriana.I'd be more than happy to drink red wine all night with Clooney and talk politics.
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Thats not really a risk. Clooney is incapable of saying NO to Soderbergh. He fucking owns him....he created the beast. He is like Emperor Palpatine to Clooney, always in the shadows-- advising him on his career, making him think he is in control of his own celebrity. Soderbergh has a geyser of studio cash pouring out of his asshole, he's another guy that can make the worst shit on the planet that brings in $10 bucks at the theater yet he will continue to get shit greenlit until the end of time, just as long as he gives us one of those nifty Oceans movies every few years. Fuck both of these cunts. Give me back Kurt Cobain, Heath Ledger, Notorious B.I.G., and Barry White-- and take the whole douche bag cast of the Oceans movies instead. Make it quick and painless....maybe an explosion aboard Clooney's yacht on Lake Cuomo. -
And replaced it with a Clooney crush! Just look up some of his Shia comments from a few months back, and switch the names! Hah!
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You're saying Leatherheads was a risk and it was never going to be a box office hit? WHAT?! Oh come on now. You have fallen under the Clooney hysteria spell and you're just making silly excuses for him. He decided to step away from the Oscar Bait "Look at me, I'm rich and liberal and my political views matter!" films and make a light hearted, mainstream popcorn film that would finally make some cash. I guarantee the studio was fucking shocked at how shitty that thing opened. Maybe people finally grew a brain and weren't interested in a fast talking Clooney playing himself yet again. But come on-- you can't say Leatherheads was a risk.
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But here's the deal with Shia, Toad. I hate the fucker. He ruins films and I'm sick of seeing him. BUT....he is just a hired gun. He is taking whats offered to him...I would too. My hatred of Clooney is actually much deeper. I can't stand this Oprah fueled "America needs to love George Clooney!" national campaign thats been going on for years. And then Clooney the freedom fighter with his "Hard Issue" movies. Give me a fucking break. Shut the fuck up-- stop talking politics and world issues like you're some fucking diplomat. You career began on "The Facts of Life." The immortal bachelor bit is real cute and everything-- but stop thinking you're more important than any other tax paying citizen and your voice matters. Hollywood liberals run their mouths on tv and hurt the issues more than they do good. Please do not endorse any more Democrats.
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Clooney is no worse than a number of actors - on both sides, who use their celebrity to promote their causes. Hollywood - historically, has leaned left but tried to act 'right'. I have no problem with George or his politics. As long as I am entertained by his movies. - No one gets a blank check forever - even if it appears Nicole Kidman has one! So, either his movies are making money, or you will not hear from him anymore.
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with Shia as the android, and this time instead of one child, he can save an entire intergalactic orphanage because it will be more poignant. Danny, I'll book your seat now.
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Sep 22, 2008 1:02:12 PM CDT
Oh well, I'm not going to get into fisticuffs with my brethren
by hawaiian organ donor
But when I heard about the plot for Leatherheads I knew it would flop, at least domestically. Theater going Americans no longer appreciate slapstick which is why the 18-34 crowd knows less and less about Jerry Lewis, Peter Sellers, The Marx Brothers and the Three Stooges.And with that I'll never say a word about Clooney again. My feelings are well known so enough said.Regarding Shia, I'm totally indifferent to the guy. I don't think he'll ever achieve the status Spielberg sees in him.
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I would honestly pay to see that. It would be entertaining as hell. The only problem is it would be quite difficult for Clooney to showcase his signature charm in a fast paced action film. Who would he sweet talk?
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Hawaiian Organ Donor: Der Rote Baron is just about to hit DVD and BluRay in Germany. Amazon never includes much in the way of specs but I know it was filmed dominantly in English so that should do it.
Jonah Echo: Dante 01 was painfully bad for me. Sauna is dividing audiences pretty dramatically, I'm on the plus side. I'd like to see a DVD release of Nocturna as well but don't know if there's an English friendly option.
Lost Jarv: I'm just not much of a fan of Eden Lake, honestly. Dyer's fun in the right stuff - and he seems to suit this - and Stephen Graham is bloody well BRILLIANT in This Is England.
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the Soderbergh version of Solaris? I actually enjoyed it quite a bit. Just this past friday, finally got a copy of Tarkovsky's version. Both are great scifi movies IMO.
Clooney's version felt like it was zeroing in on certain aspects. -
Sep 22, 2008 1:05:59 PM CDT
Jonah...write that up and put it up on the Z-Dive.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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He has paid his dues.
Tenfold.
Also when actors start talking politics I wonder if they are so blinded by what they see as a duty to speak their mind because they know lots of people will listen.
I just wonder if they realize they are cutting thier audience in half. -
...though it looked to be the best thing Clooney might ever do.
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Thanks for all the answers. Sucks bout Dante O1, but the more I saw on it, the more I got that vibe. Did you like Jade Warrior? I really did. Im hoping that Sauna lives up to the potential he showed there.
Also, any idea about Home Delivery, or did I dream the whole thing? -
mention, a goofy movie about some cosmic playboy trying to protect a passel of orphans from various alien menaces while still trying to hook up with alien gals is goofily stupid enough to work as a B-movie.
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All the info I could dredge up told me Der Rote Baron had been released on DVD last month in Germany. If it's just coming out there now, it'll be next year before we see a release over here me thinks.Any DVD release date for Public Enemy Returns yet?
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Instead of the doors opening up and revealing Ripley and a Powerloader, the doors would slide open with a hiss slowly.
Clooney would step out in a smoking jacket with a glass of scotch and a cigarette.
The next few scenes would carry out frame-by-frame of his seduction of J-Lo in Out of Sight.
Shia of course would be speared and torn in half like Henrickson. -
that's brilliant.
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help the Queen out of her carapice. Nice.
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I can see Clooney finding Shia-bot torn in half. With white milky mucus pouring out of Shia's mouth he could mumble, "You found me beautiful once....."
Clooney replies, "Shia baby....you got reeeeeal ugly." -
No offense but your Clooney hatred reeks of jealousy. I know he's handsome, rich, and single...and you're not...but give the guy a break. Has every movie he's been in done it for me? Fuck no. Shit like Featherheads and the Ocean's dreck are awful, but for everything he does that's shitty, he has at least balanced or outdone it with something thought provoking (e.g. the films he's produced or directed that I listed above). And as far as Hollywood using their celebrity to meet a political end? Would you rather they spend ALL their dough on hookers and blow? At least he's engaging himself in something worthwhile and that he believes in.
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So that his lower half would be programmed to walk beside Clooney for all enternity with a tray holding scotch, cigarettes and a framed photo of a nude Soderberg.
The top half of Shia would be programmed to speak at various political functions in Clooney's preprogrammed dialouge.
Behind a podium of course to hide the replica "Magic Legs" made famous by Lt. Dan. -
it's sort of amazing.
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Yeah I would rather they spend their cash on hookers and blow. Charitable causes are fine. Just shut the fuck up about candidates and political beliefs because in the end it does nothing but embolden the right to label all liberals as Hollywood whack jobs.
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I agree. I'm totally jealous of Clooney. I wish I could make a shitload of money off a career of mediocre films that do moderate business and party on a private yacht with all my pals, nailing a ridiculous amount of hot ass all over the world, while pulling a shroud of mind control over the country and convincing them I'm just an ordinary guy just like them. -
Danny, did you watch any of HOD's movies? Which ones have you seen thus far? I'm curious to hear your thoughts on them.
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lets talk asian films that HOD's sent. What has everyone seen? Which ones are faves?
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Anyone see this fine ass redhead from that Mad Men show? Jesus Christ!!
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So far Chocolate in a close second.
Love that movie. -
Let's talk about me.Jonah, I think you and Kungfu are the only ones who have plowed through both batches so you won't be able to discuss much until the Hustler comes on.And I figured I'd get the ball rolling so I started on my creature feature. And to make it interesting, I'm not going to use an idea I have storyboarded in my head. I'm going to wing it as I go along. I figure that's how Transformers, Spider Man 3 and PotC 3 were made and they were the top movies last year.
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All the women on Mad Men are hot though. Insanely hot. Even the mousy secretaries who are meant to be fugly are hot. It's those sweaters they wear that show off the twins.
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So I have now seen:
The Host Shinobi Machine Girl Chocolate The Wedding Campaign I'm A Cyborg, But That's OK I'm planning on watching Save The Green Planet today and Daisy tomorrow (been stalling on that one a bit because I got the feeling from other people's posts that it was more serious and had an unhappy ending, so I've been leaning toward the more action/comedy oriented ones first). I have liked every one of these movies. Shinobi and Machine Girl have been my favorites so far. I'm a Cyborg... was the strangest I think, but that's understandable given the theme. The Wedding Campaign was just an all around cute movie (a very girly reaction, but I'm sticking with that thought anyway). -
I was worried you wouldn't like some of those titles, Mavra. And there's nothing wrong with girly reactions. I have them all the time when I watch romcoms.
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Be very careful here hoss when talking about Christina Hendricks. She's my future ex-wife and her magnificient womenly body is all mine. MINE MINE MINE.I just finished watching last weeks Mad Men about five minutes ago and, christ on crutch, did she look good, even better then usual.Also, she did two episodes of Firefly and sweet fancy moses did she shine in those episodes. Literally she glowed, that's how good she looked. Plus she's a good actress so that's a bonus.
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You have excellent taste in films. Not only am I enjoying them, but other people I've been sharing them with have also had only positive reactions to them (Although I have one friend who cried during both The Host and Machine Girl...she's REALLT getting into them!). :)
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Been through it before, but once more for those who are just getting around to some of this:
On the first batch heres what I saw and thought:
Chocolate-3.5/5. A definite crowd pleaser of a movie. The plot is silly at best, just like Jaa’s two films, but it’s the combo of the female lead’s ability as a martial artist and the film’s willingness to fling it’s actors into harrowing scenarios of real-life danger that makes it appealing. I could watch this one over and over again, much like I did as a youth with some of the better Bruce Lee movies. That fight on the building at the end is one of the craziest action scenes I’ve ever seen in anything.
Machine Girl. 2/5. Over the top gore and bizarre insanity wrapped around a completely disposable idea. This one is just a bit too silly and tongue in cheek. Sometimes it feels like more of a skit. This is just an excuse to hang out with friends and alcohol and cheer wildly. It works in that context, but it doesn’t work in every context, and I don’t think it works as a movie. Not a single one of the other people here who have seen this felt that way though. So, I’m in the minority, but I told HOD that when I saw it. That most would love it.
Daisy. 4/5. The highlight of the first pack, and it’s a movie that is best discovered. I thought it was a success on almost every level, though it’s final segment was a bit overwrought. The actual final scenes of the movie, though, were sublime.
Antarctic Journal. 3/5. Korean horror movie. It has a great, cold and creepy atmosphere. Like Cold Prey from last year, the locale really steals the show. The rest of the movie was a bit murky and the ghost story couldn’t bring it’s threads together but as an exercise in mood and feeling, it worked. I’m not in a hurry to see it a second time, but I am glad to have seen it once.
Mr. Socrates. 3/5 A better than average Korean crime drama that played out pretty much as you expected, but it did so with great acting and an even pace, so I enjoyed it. It took me on a very specific ride, but there were few bumps and it arrived at it’s destination via a pleasant, scenic route.
Bloody Ties. 2/5. This one just didn’t work at all for me. Left feeling very cold, as if the entire movie was simply some sort of exercise. I didn’t find it accessible at all, and that wasn’t because the plot was complex but because the characters were so remote and distant.
Running Wild. 3.5/5. Complete opposite here. It’s a routine cop drama that is crafted with a real understanding of emotional attachments and the motivating drives of action scenes. It adds lots of little details that other crime thrillers lack. Because of the character work, the movie becomes so absorbing that routine goes out the window. I really dug this movie, and look forward to watching it again.
Warlords. 3.5/5. A big exciting epic that actually focuses on characters, and their motivations. Li and Lau are great in their roles as well as Kaneshiro. I need to see this one a second time.
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yup, really, really.
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That global village thing has a few negative side effects. Anyway, pardon my post-and-run, but my medicine is kicking in now. I'm going to go back and try to sleep this thing away. Later!
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Yeah I said it. Don't get me wrong. She's beautiful and no way would I kick her out of bed, but that body is awkward. Not in proportion at all, especially to her head which looks like a pea sitting on an eggplant. Love MAD MEN though, and love her on it. Defintiely deserved the Emmy, even if Lost had to be denied.
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OK, I'm starting to dislike Clooney now. The guy's a conversation killer.
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Forgive me man. But I masturbated on my lunch break while viewing pics of your future wife. Can we still be friends?
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The conversation killer is DGDB's overly rigid attitude sometimes.
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The Guard Post. 3.5/5. Another Korean horror from the director of R-Point. I had heard it was basically the first South Korean zombie movie. And, in some sense it is, but it’s much more of a war film/murder mystery/infection film. This one is visually a very lush experience. I adored that wet, damp earthy look that the film had. It was both warm and unsettling at the same time. And it unfolded at a great pace. The directing was really top notch, and the story had a lot of nods to stuff like The Thing and Matango. And in the end, it was actually telling a war story with a relevant slant. One of the better horror movies I’ve seen so far this year.
Red Cliff. 4/5. Awesome. Fine job Mr. Woo. Maybe your best movie. I’ll let you know when the second part comes out. Nice to see a more straightforward take on Chinese history/legend. I love the Yimou movies like HOFD, but it’s nice to see one where the heroes aren’t seven shades of conflicted and clearly doomed to tragic death from the first frame. It’s the Chinese equivalent of LOTR at this point(minus the fantasy aspects) and it delivers. I didn’t like the abrupt cliffhanger, but whatever. It’s also worthy of note that the scenes that stand out the most are more mundane than the big battles-a horse being born, a young boy playing a flute,etc.
Invisible Target. 4/5. PA-CHOW!! I’ve watched this more than any other movie currently in the pack. I don’t know why, but it just works for me in a big way. This is the way hong kong action should be done.
Shinobi: Heart Under Blade. 3.5/5. It took me a while to get into this, but when it applied a comic-book sensibility in tandem with beautiful, almost autumnal, scenery, I fell for it. It’s a wonderful B-movie.
Wedding Campaign. 3/5. Just cute. Mavra’s right. It’s just cute. A fine little movie. And keep an eye out for the Korean John Leguizamo. Good flick! I would have liked to have seen a romance with an actual Uzkekistani girl, but I’ll take what we got.
Save the Green Planet. 4/5. Weird and wonderful. I love the look of this and the acting and the story. There is so much going for this, I’m not sure why I don’t like it more. I love it, but even on a second movie, there was still something that kept me from embracing it in quite the same way I flipped for The Host or Cyborg or Chaser. Still, this is totally AWESOME.
Three Kingdoms: Resurrection of the Dragon-2.5/5. I like the movie. The biggest problem is it’s like a miniseries crammed into 90 minutes. The first half has some cool things about it, and since it’s the same story as Red Cliff, its neat to see the different approaches to the scene involving the rescue mission for the little prince. But what saves this movie from getting a thumbs down from me is the last half hour. It really works during that last bit, and saved the movie for me. It isn’t quite good, but as a matinee style picture, I think it has enough going for it, that action fans will at least be mildly entertained.
The Chaser 4.5/5. I love this movie. It’s in my top five of the year currently. It really has the feel of a gritty 70s thriller. I don’t know why I got into it as much as I did, but this was just a great film. I typically dislike serial killer films, but I was right in tune with this one from it’s opening scenes to it’s final scenes. It’s stuff like this that makes me seek out foreign fare in the first place. Well done, HOD.
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and quite likes the new nickname given to him by Hawaiian.I have to say, I am a little surprised by how much people liked Daisy. I thought it was a pretty good film overall, but I found myself also disliking it at times. This is mostly because I watched it with Mofrees, who couldn't help but complain the whole time about the obvious sexism throughout the film. While I can see where she was coming from with her claims, I also feel she didn't quite "get" the point of the movie. I should probably watch it again on my own.
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on Quint's reviews of The Good, The Bad, The Weird and Tokyo Gore Police.I have to see those two movies!
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Christina Hendricks makes it very easy to spackle the back of a door in the shitter.
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I think you and I only got like two of the same movies in the second batch. All i have seen in the other ones you listed are Shinobi and Invisible Target. I didn'tt get any of those other ones. I did watch Chaser online though.
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Do you go for the orange peel texture?
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The Sinking of Japan-3/5. Pure popcorn movie, but between it's inventive effects and interesting milieu of characters, I gotta say I liked it. And Im looking forward to re-watching it.
The Restless. 2.5/5. The characters are flat and they drag down what is otherwise a pretty great looking korean fantasy about a battle in the worlds of the dead. I dug bits of it, but it all just felt a bit ho-hum, by the time it wrapped up.
Going by the Book. 3.5/5. A Korean comedy that is actually quite good. I had a great time watching this. Fun, quirky characters, a great concept. There's a good chance this will go up in my esteem if I see it a second time.
I'm A Cyborg, but that's O.K. 4.5/5. Beautiful. This is the kind of movie Terry Gilliam doesn't make anymore, but he totally should. I'll get kicked for it, but this is my favorite from the Vengeance/Oldboy director.
Silmido-4/5. Don't know how I never saw this before. The korean Dirty Dozen, but way better. A great war film. -
Empress and her Warriors. Open City. The Show Must Go On.
It's been an awesome run of films. -
did you see the writing project over at Z-spot?
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Is Don's new secretary.
Jesus. -
You'll get those others in the next batch. Jonah got DIVX versions. Now that my actual copies have arrived, I can send out the real deal.And honestly, when I send stuff out to everyone, you're sort of at the mercy of my tastes. There might be stuff I'm withholding (like Flash Point or Dragon Tiger Gate) that I hated but that others may like. So unless I get any special requests, I'll only send out films that earned my seal of approval.
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is the Restless.
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He is a man that loves film. Not some film elitist cunt like some others 'round these parts......
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Totally agree on Don's secretary. She is hot. I also have a thing for Pete's wife. And of course Bettes.
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I'm more of a Ventian plaster type of guy.
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I would love to do a monster story of some form. Does it have to be in the screenplay format or can it work like a short story, or perhaps a layout of a concept?
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This is not the time nor the place old friend.
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all the movies so far have been great. Good call on shit like Dragon Tiger Gate and Flashpoint. While the ending fight of Flashpoint was sort of fun, that plot was lame, and Donnie was pretty much just kicking everybody's ass the entire time. There was never any fear that he would lose a fight. and Dragon Tiger Gate was dumber than a pile of rocks.
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what are you talking about? Z stuff? yeah I figured it was a bad idea right after I hit post.
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Come on now Danny, I think we all know that while you are certainly a great movie lover, you have been known to knock movies from time to time, admittedly because they were simply too popular.
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You really, really, really love watching movies.
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Sal's beard of a wife is hot, As mentioned Don's new secretary, Peggy all dolled up was nice, Bobbie Barret but that's because I have the cougaritis. There's the bohemian broad and The department store owner from season one. Hell Let's just call it like it is, 90% of the women on the show are smoking hot.Also, because I have a man crush on Don Draper, I'll throw him in also.
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...when did I say I knocked a movie because it was too popular? I have felt lukewarm about a film before and then it blows up-- which turns me off to it more. And I guess I'm meaning elitist cunts that would never ever admit to enjoying something like say Broken Arrow...or something like that. The people that feel the need to put only AFI honored films in their Top 10. Thats what I mean.
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i was reading the thing about the guy who was sleeping in that kids bed. Were my parents live is on the brisbane river. down a little bit is a park on it. My sister and her mates were at this park drinking heavily when one got up, jumped in the river and swam away. This was near Christmas (which in oz is in the summer to it gets up to 40 degrees or higher). My sister and her friends freaked out because they guy went missing - he didn't come back. Next day on the news i saw this thing about a family that lived on the river (most houses are high up, the bank slopes away very steeply and has forrest). Any way this mother wakes up and there is this dude, lying asleep on the couch, having opened all the presents. she gets her son and asks him if he knows him. when he say no she rings the cops. The guy wakes up, looks around and flees, the coppers going up and down the river looking for him. eventually he makes it back to where my sister and her mates were.
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I'm A Cyborg is your first 4.5 film.
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Hahaha. That is insane. Did the cops ever find him? Its scary for the family, but its also scary to be the person that wakes up in a random place having no idea how he ended up there or why his clothes are all wet.
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Danny I had one of those guys in my cinema class in college.
Even the girls in class wanted to kick his ass (and probably could have).
If it didn't meet his atmospheric-level standards, then it was garbage and whoever liked it didn't deserve to watch movies.
He would come up with these off-the-wall movies made by some self-serving asshole that not even the professor knew about.
It was like he thought if he had seen a movie that no one else had seen then he had exclusive taste.
Fucking prick even smelled bad.
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Sounds like a good Talkbacker name to me.
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Hah!
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Was the fella in your film class from Portugal?
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I wanted to let you know that you did a stellar job in the political TB last week. Truly outstanding.
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I'm surprised nobody has thought of that.
Jesus I'm tickled on that on.
Another thing is I bet this guy went home everyday, made sure his doors were locked and fired up a marathon of Armegeddon, Weekend at Bernies and Miss Congenality (Sp?).
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I'll put celluloid b-movie trash on the same list as an AFI movie anyday. And I've stopped knocking other people's choices. Danny likes the Martin Lawrence stuff, I get a kick out of both Kill Bill's and we all seems to enjoy anything with Warwick Davis. Live and let live, baby.
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...when he tries to molest your words into his own agenda. I remember he brought up Man on Fire once and I love that film and started saying-- fuck man that movie is awesome...great photography, great music, great acting, Denzel is solid..... And MoM says something like, "DGDB, Your enthusiasm is great!! I think I understand what you're saying....there were elements of Man on Fire that work-- but as a whole it is a failure." And I'm like....no....that's not what I'm saying I liked the whole thing fucker-- don't tell me what I'm trying to say. And he comes back with, "Surely you understand it is a truly flawed film! Even you must realize this!!"
Hahaha. Hilarious fucker. -
no.toad thanks.
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...awww fuck-- pretty soon others will be discussing me saying, "I heard DGDB is a big Martin Lawrence fan, what the fuck does he know? Prick."
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The political TB's have become a game for me now. I got too emotional over them so I just decided not to give a shit too much anymore. Mostly I just like to see what BSB will do next. He's my idol.
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...doing that shit and waking up in his neighbor's kid's room after a night of free basing? Fuck. Those were the days!
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i find interesting how similar our views seem to be. We often find ourselves outnumbered on the same side of an argument.
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Sep 22, 2008 4:06:16 PM CDT
Danny, you are a known, uh - iconoclast - yeah, about movies
by toadkillerdog
And actors. So, you have nothing to worry about regarding your love affair with Martin Lawrence.
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Now bring on Black Knight 2: Back In 'Da Habit!
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...to tear down The Temple of Shia.
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Yes, chipps, our political beliefs are very similar - as well as our religious one's. As for being outnumbered - well most of them are nitwits. A few are just misguided, and those I try to reach. Node I know exactly what you mean. BSB is probably doing the sensible thing and just launching inane - but funny, posts, because there are too few people on those things - on both sides, who are open to a rational argument, and a civil debate.
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And I didn't mean any offense Danny. You certainly aren't a cunt. If you are, it's one whose company and conversation I can enjoy, that's for sure. I just remember us having a conversation before about how your taste in movies is not always based on the film itself, but also the role it plays in society (its acceptance, dismissal, etc.)I think I get what you're saying though. There's guys like that in every film course I have taken. It's pretty ridiculous the degree to which some of these guys have this sense of self-righteousness with their "elite" tastes, which they have acquired courtesy of wiki-ing AFI's top 100 films. Fuck that.While moving into my apartment 2 days ago, I was setting up my DVDs in this corner closet, when I noticed something. I don't really own a lot of those kinds of movies (the AFI ones everybody knows and loves). I love them as much as the next movie buff, no doubt, and I own a few, but I guess as the years have gone by, and my collection has grown, I continue to simply purchase movies that produced a particular effect from me. Most of them have never won Oscars or anything like that. In fact, my collection is about 80% pure genre fare. I'm talking old school kung fu movies, exploitation films, a bunch of zany stuff from the 80s, a couple of superhero movies, westerns, and so on. And I don't think my DVD collection makes me any less versed than I am in the world of cinema.
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But he was so ragged looking, he could have done covert ops for the CIA.
There was no judging where this guy came from.
He also wore the same shirt several days in class and didn't shower.
We started discussing books to movies and I stated that I enjoyed Kubrick's The Shining for what it was, which was Kubrick's translation of the book.
This guy started shouting "No! No! No! It was nothing like the book and blah, blah.."
The teacher told him to calm down and stated that I was just saying I enjoyed Kubrick's version.
We all knew the differences in the book and the movie and sure didn't need this guy to point them out again and again.
After class the guy walked by and I figured he would explain himself and I would explain myself and maybe I could see that he wasn't such a bad guy afterall.
But no, I forgot I was dealing with a Film Elitist Cunt and the guy rolled his eyes at me leaving.
So I told him to go fuck himself and he mumbled something about me sucking Kubrick's dick under his breath.
I approached to clarify just what he said face-to-face and the professor told me to just drop it and let it go.
So needless to say the rest of the semester I ALWAYS had a remark and counterpoint to ANYTHING he said. If he told someone how to get to the library, I would open up with a better and quicker way to get there in front of the whole class.
Did I mention the fucker smelled bad? -
Sep 22, 2008 4:14:48 PM CDT
What Segal is to a catered function I would be to women if I was
by chipps
i am laughing my ass off
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I just hate that shit where people own movies or claim to love particular award winning movies just because they are acclaimed films everyone feels they need to say they like. I guarantee if film watching was a private endeavor no one spoke about and all movie purchasing was a very hush hush ordering system and there were no such thing as awards-- that everyone's collections would be much much different. I just don't like the fact that there are films you feel obligated to say are good, and then there are other films you almost feel you should be ashamed to say you enjoy. Its ridiculous. At the end of the day its entertainment. People forget that, and they like to think the films they enjoy say so much about the type of human beings they are. And everyone wants to feel smarter than the next guy.
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Sep 22, 2008 4:22:16 PM CDT
Chitty -- you almost got in a fight in a film class....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...over Kubrick? hahahaha.....
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and this Film Elistist Cunt would be right and everyone else in the universe would be wrong.
So yes, anything to a rise out of this FEC was fair game.
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Danny, I'm not sure we really have many FECs in this TB. In fact I'd say we have none. I love George Clooney and Aliens, and can't stand Martin Lawrence, but that's merely taste issues and not elitism.
However, if a person watches and enjoys what has widely been regarded the classics, then it doesn't necessarily make then a FEC. The problem is if someone comes on here and says they like Indy 4 or Transformers(and I liked both, while also enjoying Battleship Potemkin and Remains of the Day and all that other highbrow crap)we call them retarded or something equally colorful. There is an element of elitism in that too.
Personally Im glad you are passionate Danny, and I expect all of us to be just as passionate back. So I can freely say that the following movies were stupendous and made mostly that way by Clooney: Solaris, O Brother Where Art Thou?, Out of Sight, Syriana, Good Night and Good Luck, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind.
And in the end it's all good.
And yes, I really really like movies. What I like best is sharing them with others, so I can cram more movies in because I usually cap off any time of hanging out with someone with a flick(yes, I said flick, don't be confused). The odd part is I actually don't have a ton of free time(except for every other friday, which is my off day from work). I work 40 hrs a week, have a game design business, write, hang out with the wife and fam and we have charity stuff we do in the city. So, the thing that usually gets sacrified at the altar of film is sleep.
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The Chaser is also a 4.5 star movie. I'd say the same for The Host and Oldboy but I had already seen those.
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I will briefly return to one of our prior conversations where Danny and I had a throw-down over Cider House Rules which resulted in me confessing that I eat orphans. Don't recall which TB.
Anyway, I told Dan I'd go back and revisit Ciderhouse and a few weeks ago I did. Now, I still don't care for the movie. That didnt change, and so I didn't bring it up.
But I did take this away from the movie: That flick was the one that brought Michael Caine back to us. The Michael Caine of Children of Men and Batman and all those recent films is the result of Ciderhouse, and not just the acclaim it won. That movie gave him a living breathing character he could inhabit and feel compassion for and relate to the audience with. I sat there and legitimately enjoyed myself with the film for the sheer joy of watching Michael Caine wake up from the long frozen slumber that years of stuff like Jaws 4 had put him in.
So, Danny, I thank you for your stance on Ciderhouse. It was good to have the chance to see Caine's performance again. The movie at large did precious little for me, but I can understand why you liked it. -
and I don't know what reminded me...but everybodyNEEDSto see Devils on the Doorstep. Especially Jonah and Hawaiian. It really is one of the best films I have watched this summer, and this summer has been my biggest summer ever. I must have watched well over 100 movies over the past two or three months.
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I still have never seen Get Carter. Damn it all.
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About a month ago they played all of his hits for 24 hours on TCM. Including Get Carter. I only got around to watching Carter and part of Alfie before I moved and had to give back my still full DVR.
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and Blidness look very similar.... I didn't know you could get typecasted after COM. Jullian Moore and Clive Owen. (Shoot em'Up was COM written by Cracked).
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Any good comics? Are you reading Freedom Formula? I am reading Marvel Apes right now and been meaning to dig through the Secret Invasion stuff. Finally read Civil War.
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I have had to skip the last week or so of comic book day due to a lack of a job, and potential financial ruin (almost), but after getting a new apartment and another job, I actually visited the comic shop today, so it's weird that you mentioned that Series.One that I picked up is the second issue of War Heroes. the first issue was really intriguing, and the second proved to be almost as good. I'm getting even more excited for the next issue though, after seeing a sneak peek of the next cover, which looks too zany to turn down.My favorite comic on the stands right now has to be Brubaker's Criminal series. It's just top notch every month. The noir writing and character direction are superb and the art suits the material PERFECTLY.Also this past Wednesday, the final issue of this past arc of All Star Superman was released. This is the one Superman comic series I have bought in years and it's just incredible. The final issue was not the least bit disappointing. The only reason why Criminal is my favorite and not this book is because of the delays. If you don't have the rest of the issues, buy the trade with the first six and do your best to find the rest. This series is legendary.I also picked up the first issue of the comic version of Stephen King's The Stand, and it's just as good as the other King series (Dark Tower) so it comes highly recommended if you enjoy that series. But be warned, they are vastly different. The main similarity they share is their incredible adaptation of the original work.Ellis' new Astoniching X-men run is okay, but the best X-men comic on the stands right now is still X-men Legacy.The Incredible Hercules' new arc looks interesting too, but I have a feeling it's going to be a lesser outing than the previous arc. I have issues 4, 5, and 6 of Secret Invasion on hold. I still can't decide if I want to finish the series or if I should stop early, since the first three issues really weren't all that impressive.Captain America number 42 should be coming out soon, so that's pretty exciting. I jumped into Cap beginning with the issue where Steve Rogers died, and have not read a weak issue yet.So there you go. I probably missed a few but I still have all my comics in some boxes somewhere and will have to wait to find them until later. Happy reading Series! Nice to see a fellow comic nerd on the big talkbacks.
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Hey there... I'm glad you also think X-Men Legacy is the best X-book right now. I agree! The end of the latest issue was great. I'm hanging to see how that all develops, and also how this cross-over with Wolverine: Origins is gonna work. My current fave comic is also Criminal. Every issue of that is fantastic, and the extra stuff they include is such a nice bonus. I'm now checking out Sleeper, and can't wait for the new Brubaker/Philips series Incognito in December.
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I haven't heard of Sleeper. What's it about and who is making it?
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The Stand, never read the book or the other King Comics. Heard about the All Star Supermans, gonna buy the TBPs of them. Also this Criminal the comic book store guy was pimping toward me. I'll check them out, I want to get the entire S.C.U.D and The Nightly News first, and complete the Walking Dead and Deadpool VS. Cable. I guess no one is reading the Twelve Right now? I've been following that month to month, but I missed issue #2, finally found it and its really interesting. I want to get the TBPs of the Punisher series right now. Read Punisher destroys the Marvel Universe not too long ago and Punisher is one bad ass. I got both issues of War Heroes haven't read them. Reading Kick Ass and 1985 though, they are interesting. Have you heard of Freedom Formula? Or Sparks, AICN comics has been pushing them really hard. I kind've buy into them because I am just getting back into comics.
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I thought you were just asking about books I got recently. This may be too bold, but I kind of feel like the Twelve is reminiscent of the Watchmen. It's a simple story that has been done before, but it feels so fresh and relevant still.Kick Ass is only four issues in, and the last one really didn't go anywhere. That book needs to make some ground fast or I'll probably drop it. The art is great though, and the story was interesting, back when it was making some ground.
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1-Ben Affleck: you really need an explanation? He makes Keanu look like Lawrence Olivier.
2-Chris Tucker: how anyone can think this annoying fuck is better than Martin Lawrence is beyond me. Poor Jackie Chan, I hope you enjoy the money, you earned every penny making 3 Rush Hours with him.
3-Kirsten Dunst: I found her irritating in anything I've seen her in
4-Carmen Elektra: even if she made porn, like she should be doing since nobody cares about anything than her tits (but porn wont have her because she's been spoiled by Dennis Rodman) she would be the worse actress in any movie she made.
5-Kelsey Grammer: he's more of a personal pet peeve, I never liked him in anything, except as Sideshow Bob.
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looks like a cross between Angelina and Cate Blanchett! Not a bad mix at all!
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but the story hasnt been very interesting other than for the hyper-violent shock factor. Of course I'm only buying it because it's John Romita Jr doing the art, he's my favorite. Which, yes, means that I'm buying Spider-Man's New Ways to Die story arc, which is actually fairly entertaining in its lameness, kinda reminds me of the Howard Mackie 90s Spidey stories.
All Star Superman was quite a storyline, some of the earlier issues were a bit silly to me but overall an oustanding Superman comic! Not so much for All Star Batman, which is like a trainwreck that I cant pass up, thank god for Jim Lee. It's still better than Gotham After Midnight, I'm dropping that one soon unless it suddenly gets better.
Secret Invasion has been okay, I like it but I'm not particularly impressed overall, it's moving too slow for me, so the payoff better be damn good. I was really let down by the whole of Civil War, which was good in concept and its end result, but failed miserably in its execution. And that's about all I've been reading lately other than the occasional trade paperback. -
Is WAYYYY too short. I am done with the comic before I even leave the store. NOW Marvel Apes! There's a story. Actually I'm kind of mad how they did it, just warped to some other dimension where Apes are the top of the food chain. I was hoping for something like everyone turned into Apes. I just bought the Millar Fan Four issues, I don't really know much about Fan Four outside of Civil War. But that made them seem interesting so I am giving it a chance.
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I have also yet to regret that decision.The Mark Millar FF is pretty fun, but it feels like less of a story for them and more of an ego trip for Millar. That probably doesn't make any sense to most people though. I guess it's just a pet peeve of mine. It's still a great comic though, don't get me wrong.
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Brubaker and Philips! It's a series they did for the WildStorm Universe a few years back, about a deep cover agent stuck in a criminal organisation. Bit of a superhero slant on it because several characters, including the protagonist, have powers. I just finished the first trade, now onto the second. If you're liking Criminal, definitely check it out.
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hows it going?
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Watched a little more of The Banquet last night, but just can't seem to find enough time to finish. It's more wirefu and less drama than I originally expected.Kungfu, Devils on the Doorstep is on it's way, as is 9th Company which I had never heard of until the week's Twitch column.I think it's safe to say I'm not a film elitist. I have Bay, Emmerich and Ratner films in my collection so I'll watch anything once.
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Where are you getting 9th Company from? I added Devils on the Doorstep(it sounds great, and for some reason when Kungfu mentioned it, I always thought it was horror) but didn't see 9th company on netflix. What other places do you use for your movie renting purposes?
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I wonder if you and I are going to be competing for the same copy of Devils on the Doorstep.I looked everywhere for 9th Company. Hell, even GreenCine doesn't have it. So I said screw it and went through my back channels. When all else fails...You know I got your back though. It'll be in the next kit.
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After Tears of the Black Tiger, I'm jazzed for Devils on the Doorstep.I don't want to do any work today. Good thing I don't have to.
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any chance we could find Aziris Nuna, Sauna and Fighter via the back channels?
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you use to rent the asian films? or is that something else?
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...Tiger Cinema, eHit and Cinflix. GreenCine is good for European films. As you can see, my monthly rental service fees are outrageous.I'll look for those 3 films tonight. Can't be "contacting" my back channels here.
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So I was watching PTU on the weekend and it's in DTS and they made incredible use of the sound and the stuff coming out of the rear speakers was amazing. Cups clinking on saucers, horns honking in the distance. I mean, amazing stuff. And I thought, I can remember back in 1989 when home theaters were starting to come on but were still a rich man's pursuit and I would spend hours in magazine shops looking at the the first home theater mags and dreaming of the day I had one of my own. It wasn't until 8 years later that I finally picked up my first 5.1 amp. But I'm watching this movie and those sounds are just exploding out of the rear speakers and I was grinning like I had just won the lottery. It's nice to be able to still appreciate these things we usually take for granted, especially since there was a time a home theater seemed so far out of reach.
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We brought it home, plopped in Twister and turned it up.
It's hard to describe the difference to someone that hasn't sat down and listened for themselves.
And yes, during office scenes we would grin as the rear speaker picked up pens clicking, paper clips being dropped and people coughing.
Wonderful.
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Here are some for you. Check them out:
Summer Time Machine Blues. It's a light-hearted japanese comedy about a bunch of kids who have a sci-fi club during the summer. The remote for the air conditioner breaks, and a few moments later, a time machine shows up in their clubhouse. Wackiness ensues from there.It's one of the better japanese comedies. Funny and inventive and attempts to play by the rules of time travel. Great film, and perfect for these kits you send out. Think Sandlot meets Primer.
Funky Forest: First Contact. Pretty much the craziest movie Ive ever seen. It's more or less one long stream of consciousness following random wierd stories including Asano and his little brother, who is a chubby little white kid who loves candy bars, and it's filled with wierd Cronenbergian body manipulation stuff. Lots of tubes, and fleshpods and alien wierdness. If you check out a trailer, you will see what I mean.
Love and Honour. Samurai movie from the man who gave us Hidd3 Blade and Twilight Samurai. It's just as good those, and well worth a watch.
Memories of Matsuko. Very original. The followup from the director of Kamikaze Girls, and every bit as good as that one was. Better, in fact.
Jade Warrior. Finnish mythology and chinese mythology merge as a mmodern day finnish blacksmith realizes he was also once a mythical warrior who traveled to china to defeat a demon, The Son of the Knocktress. A cool wuxia movie.
Citizen Dog. A great, wierd Thai movie. If you like Tears you will love this one.
The Sword Bearer-Nifty realistic fantasy about a guy who has blades that literally extend out of his arms.Sort of Wolverine-esque.
The Cold Hour. Spanish scifi about survivors of a war that must deal with the dead returning, and the phantom visitors who cause the very air around them to go cold as ice.
Ikiru. If you have never seen it, HOD, Ikirus is a must see.
Samurai Rebellion. One of the best samurai films that few have seen. Mifune was very good in it. -
Our apartment was in shambles with boxes and furniture being hauled out.
He had gone home for the weekend and left the audio/visual stuff.
So I set up the entire system in a very small and narrow room.
Basically the tv was right in front of me and I could almost reach out and touch every speaker.
So I watched movies pretty much all night in that small room with the sound swimming around me.
If I ever win the lottery, the first thing I will do is get a kick-ass home theater.
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That sucks. I have to get some of this internet business at home.She's looking a little dumpy on Mad Men, but she was hot, hot, hot on Firefly. Also, evil, and evil makes all women hotter.
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As we're roughly the same age, we can look at these kids today and scoff as they are born into a homes that already have home theaters, but I can remember watching TV on a B&W in mono.The Peacemaker was the first movie I put in with my surround system and I invited some friends over and nobody wanted to leave after the movie. They insisted I put something else in.Then a year later I upgraded to a 27" TV and once again nobody wanted to leave.And then another year later I bought a the first gen DVD player ($1000 CDN) and I couldn't get people to leave.I was always the first guy to have the next big thing until all my friends got real jobs and then I was always the last.
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Sep 23, 2008 9:21:37 AM CDT
Jonah...thank you for referring to me as Mr. Dick Blood....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...I haven't been called that outside the bedroom in years. And I noticed someone put Kelsey Grammar on their Worst 5 List. Frasier?! Fuck. Hehehe.
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Thats funny. I always resist technology. Like this Blu Ray fuckfest going on......the only gadget I ever jumped on board during its initial run was Nintendo Wii. God Bless the Wii!
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...I'm a little mixed on it. Don't really know how much I liked it yet. I definitely didn't dislike it...there were parts that just didn't hit as much as I thought they should.
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Danny, I think the movie is fantastic, but it's definitely an understated film. I think I appreciated it more after the fact, than on initial viewing. I thought the stuff involving the brethren church was interesting, but some of those child in peril scenes towards the end made me very anxious. The ending was perfect, though.
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My problem with it was how far fetched the stunts and shit were. I didn't like those CGish shots of the kids being launched a ridiculous distance in the air. I thought the real world stuff should have been more grounded. The final action scene was way too big with too many kids involved.
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I've got free tickets to see Eagle Eye at the new Imax screen near my house on thursday night, so you will be pleased to know my wife and I won't be adding our money to the coffers for this weekend.
And Jarv, we've got free tickets for next wednesday for The Duchess, so we won't be paying for that one either.
Good times. -
Took me forever to get a cell phone, I don't buy each new game console as it comes out, the front speakers I use downstairs are 20 years old and as big as a Buick and the only reason I have an iPod is it was a Christmas gift. But when it come to movies, I always wanted to have a sweet setup.The DVD player was such a huge step forward I couldn't resist. I'm tempted sometimes but I won't be picking up a Blu-ray player. I'm done buying electronics for a long while.
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Sep 23, 2008 9:48:56 AM CDT
Oh thank God Jonah..........I have no problem with people seeing
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....just please please-- pay for something else and sneak in!!
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"Wanted" and "Night Watch" director Timur Bekmambetov will helm a reimagining of the Herman Melville's 1851 literary classic "Moby Dick" for Universal Pictures reports Variety. YEEEEEEHAH!!
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Another one to add to the ever growing list.
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but last week we saw Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. It was alright. It sort of was a teen version of after hours, though less wierd. A fun little date movie, but not much more to it.
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...I love shit like that.
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This won't be a film about Moby's sex life with him providing his own soundtrack will it?
Maybe Slim Shady will be his fluffer. -
that Moby Dick isn't a potboiler involving an ambient music artist moonlighting as a private eye.
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you will probably love it. It has a nice hold on the characters and they meet some eccentric types and talk music and fal for each other in the course of a night. 3 or 3.5 stars.
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He needs to stay in Russia. Prick.
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....Nick and Norah's next week?!! I'm so gonna get fucking laid.
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have you seen any of the movies I mentioned above, or have interest in any?
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But I will rectify that soon. They all sound good.Danny must be a relative newlywed.When I show chick flicks to my wife it's, "That was sweet, thanks for showing it to me. Now go take out the trash."
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Hehehe.....awwww that sucks dude. Yeah we're 2 years in a few months, so its still pretty fresh. But don't tell anyone. I like to keep up the lonely guy in his shit stained underwear with Cheeto crumbs on my keyboard gag.
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My wife and I just passed the three year mark. Strangely, my wife has diff tastes. She likes good romantic movies but most of the stuff released she mocks. The last movie watching she requested was Poltergeist. Odd.
She is smitten with Once however. -
Hates Asian movies, hates violence beyond PG-13 and doesn't go in for quirky stuff. P.S. I Love You and Once are probably her two favorite movies of the past year.If I ever make it into film, she's going to hate my stuff.
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you sent Hawaiian is beyond hopeless.Let's see, which movies did she like recently? Dan in Real Life, Spiderwick Chronicles, Death at a Funeral. I don't think she loved P.S. I Love You because if a movie has a hint of sadness in it, she doesn't like it.
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Damn, that feels like ages ago (8 years for me)...
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Thats pretty much Mrs. Dick Blood's only rule. No Seagal. Even if its on tv and I'm flipping through channels-- one look at his cold stare and she will get up and walk away.
Other than the standard quirky love story type films, her favorite genre is probably horror. Thats interesting as it is probably my least favorite overall.... -
Of course it is always a bitch, but today more like the Bates in her Misery mindset while on a heavy flow day.
Jesus, I wish I had a different career. -
Dan In Real Life.We've been together for 11 years, married for 6. Feels like a lot longer.
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over half the movies HOD sent. And liked pretty much all the ones she has seen. Her two no-nos are anime and if a movie has an excessively grungy or dingy look to it, that turns her off too.
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This job gives me total freedom to goof around but it doesn't challenge me one iota. And the pay sucks.
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Easily the grungiest movie I've seen in a long while.
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HIDE YOUR WOMEN!
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Is pretty grungy looking. There is a scene in an alley lit with worklights. It has this ugly orange tint. Nasty.
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Ya hear me, a big wuss!
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HOD, indeed it was. That was a grungy, brutal movie. I just felt rather worn out by the time the thing was done. It was not a pleasant experience.
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HOD, do you see all the good reviews this one is getting? I think we need to locate this as soon as possible. It sounds really good. Also, I want to see The Burrowers as well.
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I've seen movies where people swim through raw sewage that didn't make me feel as dirty as Dog Bite Dog.And I do see the reviews. Too many movies, not even time. I'm going to go through the last couple months worth of Twitch columns and start looking for the movies. Going to stock up for the fall.
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...got everyone real riled up. Good. We need to tear down the walls of The Kremlin demanding for Timur's head on a pig pole!! This film could very well usher in the new Cold War!! -
Moby Dick is going to usher in the apocalypse.
The anti-christ will be at the premiere, walking down the red carpet in Armani and sporting a devilish grin. -
Sep 23, 2008 1:19:19 PM CDT
Between Eagle Eye, Y The Last Man, Transformers 2, and Moby Dick
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...I feel like I'm in some strange alternate dimension. These four things couldn't possibly exist in my world, simultaneously....could they? The only thing that would top this is the announcement of a Jaws remake starring Shia, Ashton Kutcher, and Dane Cook. Only then shall the circle be complete.
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Sep 23, 2008 1:30:58 PM CDT
If there is a Jaws remake with Shia, Ashton, Dane
by chittychittygangbang
Hollywood will glow white hot, bathed in the heat of propane.
Bathed in propane. White. Hot.
Plus it will instantly be in fifth place behind Jaws: The Revenge.
That's right, I will actually like Jaws: The Revenge more than another Jaws movie. -
any ideas?
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the topic is--- who would play who in a Jaws remake with Shia, Dane, and Ashton?
I have it like this....
Ashton is Brody
Shia is Hooper
Dane is Quint
Or you could go really comedic and swap Shia and Dane. But then again, Shia's got the facial hair thing going on now.... could be perfect for Hooper. -
She has already butchered Superman, why not Jaws?
Also Will Ferrell as the Mayor, complete with the suit with tiny anchors on it. -
He can just sit in the sub/shark and have a few pints.
To film the scene when the shark lunges onto the Orca, Davis will get drunk, put it in neutral and floor the throttle. Then slam the shark sub into granny gear and WHAM! -
Warwick Davis as the anchor for the boat.
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You guys and your friggin monsters has my juices flowing so I'll be on our sister site mostly cranking out the new stuff.But here's a topic. Think of a movie that you've always wanted to see made but that Hollywood will never do or never do right.I always wanted to see a well done live action movie made of The Jetsons. Don't ask me why.
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Say what you will about her....but I guarantee she's got a nice trimmed landing strip.
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The Bates cannot be stopped.
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Just cast a real shark and he can rid us of Ashton, Shia and Dane Cook. Not a bad way to spend a $100 million.
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......well not really because it would probably end up being shit. Thats funny you said that-- I have actually thought of that many times over the years. I remember years back I saw Steve Martin as George.
But I think my top Movie I Wish Could Be Made Right would be Peter Pan. Even though I like Hook.....I want a faithful Pan movie that captures all the magic of the book. Probably not possible. -
....man that pussy looks like a handful of wadded up deli meat.
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Its funny to think of Jaws with Shia, Dane, and Ashton....but once you threw Will Ferrell into the mix. I'm out. He manages to suck all the funny out of any joke.
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That's what the inside looks like Danny.
The outside would look like a giant, white moose knuckle with a nice little hedge on top of the valley.
Yum! -
Sep 23, 2008 2:33:58 PM CDT
Steve Martin would have been perfect for the role
by hawaiian organ donor
At one time, but now he's a little too old, although he really is aging very gracefully. Nowadays they'd give it to Steve Carell.
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(sidenote: legend has it that, in fact, it can)it would look like the Rancor.
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How about Michael Gross instead?
He would play his Burt Gummer character as Mayor and just shoot the shark from the beach.
Then he would turn his attention to the Orca, as Shia, Ashton and Dane all struggled with the fact that there is only one small mirror on the boat to which to look at themselves.
With their massive egos already being used as barrels to cause the shark to stay at the surface and the Orca to list heavily to the side, Burt would launch a land-to-air missile.
The next scene would show Burt grinning behind Ray-Ban Aviators screaming "Smile you Sons of Bit.."BLOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!" -
Sep 23, 2008 2:37:23 PM CDT
HOD, you would age gracefully too if you fucked Latifah....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....image The Queen slammin' it reverse cow-girl. GOOD LAWWWWD. -
Neal Stephenson's Snow Crash. It's a cyberpunk novel with so much going on, Im pretty much they would trash it if they tried to make it.
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...she said the rumors are untrue that her pussy was used as a wood lathe to carve baseball bats in the 70s. But she did admit to fucking Jimmy Caan.
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Sep 23, 2008 2:47:45 PM CDT
Danny - You do know that the Queen plays for other team?
by toadkillerdog
Yep. She is a lesbian.
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Heh heh heh
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Hah!
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if they turned it into a hybrid of the cartoon mixed with The 5th Element and Neon Genesis Evangelion. With Carla Gugino as the mom.
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Every lesbo (especially the big ones) will knock back a dick once in awhile. Its fun to them.
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I just read about Snow Crash on Wiki.
The could churn out three-and-a-half hour movies for the next 10 years and not cover all of that.
I'm question what universe I am currently in now.
How long does it take to read that thing?
I would like to get my hands on a stack of The Gippers though. -
He would feel right at home. Smile you son of a (GUNSHOT)!!
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He mentioned Snow Crash in today's column.
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Lets stir some shit over on Moby Dick TB. People are losing their minds over this. I say, lets help them go right over the edge. We say it is a great idea! And lets see the fallout!
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Lets be the only 3 assholes in the joint that think the idea doesn't sound half bad.
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hah!
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And here I go!
Fred get the popcorn ready and tell Dirk to cover his ears! -
Is a movie of a character called Burke from a series of books by an author named Andrew Vachss. The subject is beyond dark, think noir on steroids, and one of the anti-hero characters in the books is a pre-op tranny.This movie will never ever happen. No way no how.
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and no I didnt read that. I do recommend Snow Crash. It's an easy to read novel, it just has alot of info packed into it.
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over there. If they take it seriously, they will assume Im retarded.
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Sep 23, 2008 3:42:34 PM CDT
We may have to wait while the seeds we planted germinate
by toadkillerdog
But it should be fun! Muhhooohahhahahhaaa!
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I was so confused when I first saw it why I had neer heard any buzz about it or anything, since it really plays like one of the classic great films.Happy to see somebody else recommend Ikiru Jonah. That movie is just tragic, and i love that actor.
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Ikiru was tragic for a bit, but honestly, by the end it was uplifting. That final scene is perhaps one of my faves in film.
Toad, they are already getting on you for your BSG comparison, and I just posted a space whale comment. -
...taking awhile to marinate.
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you really grow to love the protagonist, but you know the death is inevitable. I really need to see it again though.
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I hate to twist MNG's snout over this - he is a good guy, and I like him. But tearing into that TB and posting a defense of reimagining is fun!
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I've been writing a bit, but naughty me not our project
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by the deadline. I have an idea
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you are going all out over there. He just said that Moby Dick was "ok, but not all that" and after I remarked that the Illustrated Classics version was the definitive one, he remarked "I seriously own that!"
Good stuff. -
I really do own that though from childhood. Hehhehe.
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...just came up with it yesterday. It shall be done!!
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Read some of the posts here - specifically mine from this afternoon.
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I defy anyone to truely tell me that they have read it and love it. I have read it and it is the only book that has ever actually put me to sleep. it single handedly ended my practice of reading in bed, and yet i continued to fall asleep on the chair. I read this thing on arts and letters daily a while back and they did a survey of influential editors. Moby dick came number one on the list of books that literature reviewers were embarressed to have not finished.
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I will check back on later and see if anyone has taken the bait!
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Just pick one and go at it.
That was sort of fun. -
'for those in the cheap seats' my ass.
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and I've read it twice. I don't think so because of some herd mentality, or because I think I should, but I honestly find it a great work. I didnt find it boring. I thought those bits on whaling were legitimately interesting. I don't require anyone else to agree with me, but I do think it's great. The movies, both the Peck one and the Patrick Stewart one were weak, to say the least.
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...but it's 'sploded in my head to this mammoth epic so it'll take a while to write.I'll stir some shit up in Moby Dick after I exercise.
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you have credibility in my eyes. plus i realize that surely SOME people like it for it to remain in these curriculums. I do believe you but in my opinion (and personal experience) a huge number of people who talk with authority about it (and try to make whatever group i am in look down on me as a heathen) have not actually read it. I stand by the fact that it is one of those books that people love to have in their libraries and make cleaver comments about in order to look smart, when they haven't actually read it. If anything one thing i enjoyed about it was learning about 19th century understanding of the natural world - at the time it really was full of cutting edge infomation and was fantastically well researched. i was a bit bi polar on this though cause sometimes i would ask myself 'why am i reading a scientific manual full of info i know to be wrong'. anyway i think that the majority of people who claim to like it are pompous also ran philistines, but i accept there is a minority who actually like it, and i believe you that you are the later. mostly because you have already shown to me that you are both well read and humble, and not governed by motives of superiority.
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I've read Moby Dick twice. Did I "Love" it? No, but, did I find it intersting and a fascinating look into a life that hasn't existed in a hundred years, yes I did. Plus, Like I noted on the other TB, I like stories about ships and sailling.
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the thing i liked best about it was that since a lot of it was supposed to be accurate, it really reflected the views of the age. To this day i consider it the hardest to read book i have ever picked up.
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Ah, I see. Damn your trickster ways! May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits!
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Hehehe....sorry dude. I wasn't really saying you liked Melville simply because of society influence. Hehehe.......we were just trying to raise some hell. Sadly you were the only one that paid attention to us really.
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The trailer for a new book "Carriage Returns" was released 9/22/08.
Watch at:
http://roparslibrary.blogspot.com -
I only read Bartleby and Billy Budd, and they were absolutely about some dude lusting after another dude.
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Anyone else seen it?
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damn it. I'm gutted I missed this. In no particular order: 1)Sienna Miller- useless, talentless OK magazine trampy cokehead twat. 2)Keira Knightly- or as I like to think of her "how to spell overrated in 13 letters" 3)I'm with danny on this- George Cloony. I fucking hate almost everything he does- and making oscar bait is NOT risky. 4)Zach Braff. Obviously. 5)Ashton Kutchner. Obviously. By the way Danny- that filmography of Dunst's is fucking horrible- Wimbledon? what the fuck?
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M-O-M is not a FEC. He is a WC (either Water Closet or Worthless Cunt. The former because he's certainly full of shit and could do with flushing, and the latter because it's a statement of the obvious). I am an elitist to some extent- certainly I start out with certain prejudices- if a film is a classic I'm pre-disposed to like it, but my tolerance level is spectacularly low so when something lets me down I take it really badly. So I suppose I'm elitist by disposition, but my taste level fluctuates to such an extent that I'm not elitist. If that makes sense. Anyway, I've just heard that apparantly lovefilm have 2 FUCKING COPIES of Army of Darkness for the whole of the UK and the waiting list is like 10 years long. COCKSUCKERS. I NEED ME SOME "ASH"TION. AAAARGH. Mrs. Jarv does not believe me that it is a masterpiece, and thinks I'm overreacting.
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also cannot stand anything with Kung-fu of any description in it. She is most unreasonable about this. Recent likes- well it's hard to say because she's catching up with Pacino movies she hasn't seen- include Dog Day Afternoon, Lives of Others, Bad Education, (I don't know why she only saw this recently when she is not only fluent in Spanish, but was in Spain when it was released. And by the way, if I see another Almodvar movie (especially that fetid shit Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down) for a long fucking time it will be too soon), Streets of Fire (I don't care- Diane Lane makes me happy), and sady, Day After Tomorrow and Wimbledon. She has some kind of weird thing for Paul Bettany, so it doesn't matter how horrid the film is, if he's in it she likes it.
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Pah. Amateurs. 4 Years in December. She's showing worrying signs of broodiness since she turned up at the school I work at to meet me. I keep telling her that we managed to accidentally kill a fucking cactus, so should not ever be entitled to raise a child.
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Fucking hate it. Really fucking hate it. It's number 3 on my unreadable classics list behind Middlemarch and Ulysees. Nobody likes Moby Dick.
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It always makes me laugh that I use my hard-earned MA in English Literature to deliver diamond hard nuggets of criticism like that. Hehehehehe
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Am I having more problems with Zhura than anyone else? I remember Frank having problems, so maybe it's an American thing.
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I've never had problems logging in...
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Ben fucking owned that. Owned it.And I can't remember the last time I heard "cunt" yelled so many times in a movie. The back and forth between Ben and Ray was classic. For whatever reason, I had a couple vibes coming from that movie that reminded me of In Bruges (in terms of some of the dialog) and The Bank Job (strictly in terms of the actual job they pulled going from next door).
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I'm stuck in some sort of kafkaesque nightmare where the data entry just keeps fucking growing no matter how fast I do it and how much I get through.
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I'm very apprehensive about that movie. Part of me still wants to see, but I just know it'll suck something fierce. I'm going to try and stay strong and avoid it.
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I'm sure you can kill it just like the cactus.
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D'oh. We used to smarter. Glad you liked Sexy Beast. It's the shit.
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I'm fucking tired of coming into work. But I think I should be most greatful that I do have a job, so I'll put aside my bitching and moaning for now.
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with a giant boulder nearly missing our hero and splashing into his pool.Giant boulders don't get enough work in movies.
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the fucker just won't die. It's a Nemean hydra- every time I cut off one chunk of it another 95,000,002 chunks grow. It's getting so bad that I'm to be sequestered away until I've got it done. So basically, the rotten twats are taking everything interesting off me and just making me do solid data entry. And you should have seen the disgraceful annual raise we got. The evil fuckers based it on the official government inflation rate and not fucking actual life where fuel bills have risen by 30% and the food for us has gone up by a quarter. Fucking hate my job.
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I have a shit load of low level skills so am always in demand. They should be fucking grateful that I deign to spend my working day with them.
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When will companies realize that it's not the common folk's salaries that drive up costs? How about all those unnecessary bonuses, travel expenditures, non-monitored office supply purchases, and contractors who don't do shit?
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and our esteemed secretary of treasurer wants unlimited power, times are looking a wee bit...unsteady...at the moment here.Oh, and Bush's speech for the other day was another stellar display of dumbness. "Interlinked".
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is refusing to do the honourable thing and resign especially seeing as he is directly responsible for cornholing our economy and we didn't vote the cunt in. Wankers.
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with absolute power over his own bowel movements. Does anyone else think "odessa line" every time they see him.
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AICN as therapy. Urge to kill.... Falling..... I've got another fucking pointless meeting in about an hour and a half. They want a "report" on the data situation. What a joke.
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I fucking hate him. That would have been the perfect time for a giant boulder to come crashing through and smush his ass.
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I'm pretty sure Bush charges him up before letting him out to speak.
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Daily Show.Fuckers.
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Mrs. Jarv works in a heavily union dominated place and (this is fucking unbelievable) despite the fact that she isn't in the Union, not only does she have her yearly raise negotiated by them, but they also have the power to "moderate" her so that the company pays her less- as it's "unfair" on staff that get crappy raises. I think this is scandalous, frankly, as no matter how well she does and how much her superiors want to reward her she always sees about 2-3% docked off the amount they were going to pay her.
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with a bit of luck John Stewart held him down so a team of Gorillas could take turns rectally violating the corrupt cunt. That is the only fitting punishment for the loathsome snake oil salesman who has raped more of our civil liberties than any other cunt in history, and presided over the "Housing Boom" which has made it completely unrealistic for me and Mrs. Jarv to buy our flat and led to the collapse in our economy. I wish cancer on the cunt.
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I don't understand how they could negotiate her raises for her. Is this common within England?
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bears having a go at Mr. Blair. This would be the big break the bears would need to "re-position" themselves as a creature to be feared by man.
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since we bought it almost 3 years ago.Sweetness.
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kind of depressing around these parts..Jarv, its a shame you have probs with zhura...you were giving good feedback in the ideas.
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It's very uncommen. I've never heard of it outside of her work place. The problem is that they have thousands of staff and only about 8 people outside of upper management aren't in the union. To make things worse, her job already causes lots of resentment and they're a militant union who will strike at the drop of a hat.
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and then post. I think it's our evil work server.
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Fuck, talk about abusing one's power...
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in practice they know damned well that she isn't going to sue (because we'd spend more than she would get anyway).
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Jarv, you have my condolences for having to sit through Wimbledon. Who thought this was a good idea? Middlemarch is the most difficult time I've ever had reading a book. Seriously, why do lit. profs think this rubbish is required reading?Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson frightens me to the point where he turns my turds white. Total control over 700 beeeeeellion bucks with no oversight? Uh-huh, that's a grand idea.And I refuse to think about how much the value of our house has dropped since we bought it 5 years ago.Jonah said the Forbidden Kingdom is entertaining enough to devote 90 minutes of your life to. So I'll be watching it next week.Started watching Muay Thai Chiyia last night before I fell asleep from sheer exhaustion. It's no Ong Bak but it has promise.Jonah, I also finished watching The Banquet. WTF? Who took out the Empress at the end?
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Sep 24, 2008 7:44:24 AM CDT
well, I guess that's something with Forbidden Kingdom
by just pillow talk
But since I have so many other flicks to get to, I think this will be way down on the list.
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pencil jihad. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven thousand workers. Oswald was a fag.
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what are the flicks available for watching? I enjoyed Forbidden Kingdom. It definitely feels like a throwback to 80s kid fantasy, which I find to be a good thing. Actually, it's like the good version of Warriors of Virtue, an awful kid's flick that showed up in the late 90s and made my head hurt.
That one was directed by Ronny Yu, and it was woeful. This one is fun,with some great set pieces and lively performances from Li and Chan. Chan is actually pretty good in the movie, and gets the bulk of the character work, what little there is. It's a popcorn fantasy and while the kid in it is pretty much a non entity, everything else just breezes along and you find yourself entertained as it goes.
Let me put it this way. I won't buy it right now, but when blockbuster does one of those 3 for 20 deals for used flicks, I'll pick it up. -
I'd go 3.5 out of 5. Li and Chan give it that extra half a star.
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you have Muy Thai Chayia? what else you got over there, you are hording?
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is like getting beaten up by a bridge club.
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wants to follow the ways of Pencil Jihad, unfortunately her workplace is so paranoid that it is impossible to smuggle the patented changian machine pencil slinger through security. I suggested that she may want to wait outside for them.
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Ulysees. Fuck me. I've tried and tried to read it and never made it past that Daedalus cunt shaving. And that's only page 15
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here at home from netflix. Anyone seen it? Is it any good? Dr. Loomis and Jen Connolly communicating with insects? Can it be bad?
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go with his short stories. Some of those are really quite excellent.
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Sep 24, 2008 8:31:08 AM CDT
I'm not hording much right now that I haven't told you about
by hawaiian organ donor
But I'll start keeping you informed of stuff I have as it comes in. The only other movie I have that I don't think I've told you about is Girls Rebel Force of Competitive Swimmers. Haven't watched it yet but it's supposed to be cheesy goodness.I could never get through Ulysses.
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I actually like getting those packages and seeing something I didnt even know what coming. GRFOCS sounds insane.
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It's ahead by 300 posts. Who knew the great white whale could elicit so much sound and fury.
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First up will be (Jarv and DocP will be happy to hear this):Hawk The Slayer. I will have a couple cold ones while watching this nugget of goodness.I also have the last movie of Hawaiian's first Asian package to get to: Bittersweet Life. Did you see that Jonah?
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...I agree with almost everything you said in response to everything I said-- EXCEPT the slam on young Kirsten. Come on-- Wimbledon was a fun movie!! -
Which I'm quite excited about after watching Oldboy.
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It was like Frost/Nixon: Part Deux. Totally exposed his blind ideology when it comes t othe Middle East.
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from last night.
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"I wish cancer on the cunt!"
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Get real. No one destroyed anyone....he tried to put him in a corner and admit the invasion was a bad idea and Blair just kept chuckling. Thats DESTROYING him?
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Once I started thinking about it, she is sexier when isn't trying to be.
Maybe that is what is going on with my irritation of her, as I hate when a girl tries to be sexy and goes overboard.
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Nice take on the "guy who cleans things up" story. You'll love it, JPT.The Mets officially suck. You need a new team.How you doing this morning, Danny?
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The best part was the main guy. I love the underdog role.
Such as Rudy and Rocky, etc.. -
Sep 24, 2008 9:17:41 AM CDT
I can't fucking stand the adoration of Jon Stewart....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...even if our political views are the same, he is still a smug prick I'd like to stomp in the fucking teeth. He's like the fucking liberal messiah. Makes me sick to my fucking stomach, and reaffirms the notion that all Democrats are fucking drunk frat boys that jerk off to the Daily Show. -
And she was too young in that movie to lust over.
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That is very true. She has a very relaxed, natural charm to her when she isn't trying to be cool or attractive. Did you see Crazy/Beautiful? Great film.
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Sep 24, 2008 9:20:06 AM CDT
I tricked wife in watching some those movies HOD
by chittychittygangbang
When the pack came in she asked me if they were porno movies.
I looked her right in the eye and said "So what if they are. It's Asian porn and they are very artistic. It's not really dirty at all."
I think she is almost through the whole batch now, still looking for that first XXX sex scene to chew me out about. -
No. Destroying him was exposing that Blair couldn't provide a decent justification for Britain's part in the Iraq War other than his personal friendship with Bush. Everytime Blair tried to provide his thin argument for why we invaded Iraq, and why we continue to stay there, Stewart countered it with it with actual facts and solid information. It was an embarassing joke.
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and I'm not surprised that he just "chucked". It's all he's capable of as he's such a chucklehead. I hate him, I hate his vile fucking "Human Rights" Lawyer letterbox mouthed twat of a wife, I hate his odious freeloading offspring. Fuck them all.
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Do you even watch Stewart? I can pretty much guarantee you that a drunk frat boy is as likely to watch Stewart as Ralph Nader is to eat out Ann Coulter.
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I hate that cunt so much, and I hate his useless fucking legacy, not to mention the fat unelected Scottish twat that replaced him that I'm actually going to vote Tory in the next election. Even if there is no point in my borough. I'm going to put myself out, stand in a queue with a group of other misreable cunts and waste my time voting pointlessly. And Fucking Cameron= Blair: The Sequel (Basically the same, but a bit more shit). Fuck me. We need a revolution.
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Sep 24, 2008 9:24:07 AM CDT
HoboCode -- if Ralph ate out Anne, it would fix his eye....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....and yes unfortunately I have seen the show on occasion. And yes-- drunk frat boys fucking worship the prick. I have known many over the years.
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It reminded me of that Drew Barrymore movie.
You know where the guy hooks up with her and she goes crazy and gives her back to the parents.
I mean how said is that? "Oh I love you" and the next screaming fit later..."Uh, hello? Can we meet so I can give you this crazy bitch, oops, I mean your daughter back?"
But yeah, Crazy/Beautiful was way better and I would have jackhammered Dunst in that movie.
I'm talking crazy sex. With unwrapped coathangers, vegatable oil and a feather duster loaded with silver glitter. -
...I really know nothing about him other than he held Bush's testicles while he popped.....I'm just going off the interview I saw. If I was judging Blair exclusively on that-- I wouldn't say he was a bad guy at all. I would say Stewart is a childish little twat that was hopping up and down in his chair to get a shot at him. That was clear from the start.
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It's well established over here that the lying cocksucking parasite knew damned well that there were no WMD's. The spin obsessed termite and his equally despicable cohorts (I'm looking at you Cambell you festering tumour of a weasel) deliberately spun a very, very ambivalent report from MI5 to try to justify invading. What pisses me off is that he only did it so that he could try to swallow Bush's whole 3-incher, it achieved NOTHING, and the fucking cunt has the fucking temerity to mouth off about being tough on Terrorism having let every fucking murderous IRA cunt out of fucking Jail. I hope he dies when his rectum prolapses and the sagging flesh gets caught in a car axle, which pulls his entrails slowly out of his ruined arsehole and winds them round and round making something that looks exactly like Satan's candyfloss. And you can fucking quote me on that.
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Coat hangers and vegetable oil? Your pudding is so potent you need to instantaneously perform an abortion after sex? oooooohhh.....oooohhh....too far.....too far..... -
I'm talking just total toungue tornado on her.
Of she would be yelling out "Quit going to the left! The middle! The middle please!"
Of course right when she came, Nader would bite down with the force of a snapping turtle on crank, rendering Coulter to sniffling mess and finally raising her voice to a normal woman's octave. -
both should be watched before Forbidden Kingdom. BL is excellent and Hawk is, well, Hawk.
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Rectal prolapse?! I used to throw that threat around left and round on here. Look up some pics folks, its a great way to spend an afternoon!! -
Actually I'm not even sure she has a vagina so I'm going to retract that statement.
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I just use Drano as a lubricant, fuck the morning-after pill.
Ohhhhh, that was too far. Sorry. -
Sep 24, 2008 9:33:02 AM CDT
Coulter has the same thing as the wrestler Chyna....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....a clit so big it looks like a tiny dick.
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Forgive me for the gay ass Navy commercial....but its worth it!!
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interviews Megan Fox.
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Although Jarv's rectal prolapse statement has me crying. Wonderful imagery.Bush can suck it. Blair can suck it. Nader, thanks for the seat belts, but go suck it. Coulter needs to be on the precipice of the world's largest shark tank during a stiff wind. And I think Stewart is smug but he cracks me up.That is all.
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calls at work for whatever the fuck reason. Today's installment: calling social security office."Sorry, this is a Corporation.""What do you do there?""We're a mining company.""oh, that's not the social security office."BINGO.
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Thats the important thing.
http://tinyurl.com/32eec2 -
He did further show what a fucking knucklehead the stupid bastard is.And while I think Stewart leans too much to the left, and should really harpoon the Dems a bit more, the generalization that frat boys are the only ones who like him is utterly ridiculous. My wife loves him and she couldn't be farther from the "frat boy" mentality.
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I read my earlier post and realized I wasn't clear. Obviously this is not my generalization. I myself am a Democrat. I'm not a drunk frat boy, and I would pay to urinate on Jon Stewart's face...so obviously it is not true. I should have been more clear-- I meant it reaffirms the Republican notion that Democrats are nothing but a bunch of drunk frat boys. They see Obama supporters as rowdy loud mouth kids and nothing more. But I do stick with my earlier comment that Stewart should be banished to the eternal damnation of nothing but bit roles in Adam Sandler films.
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I always have newfound respect for actors who have no problem going for laughs like that.
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Much like my beloved gang green, they are condemned to eternal damnation in the sports world by continually fucking with their fans' minds.I'm just waiting for them to call back Jose Lima for the bullpen. Jose fucking Lima. You may or may not recall Jose's last stint in the majors with the New York Metropolitans where he promptly gave up 7 runs in 3 innings, including a Grand fucking Slam to Dontrelle Willis.booya!
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I just read your "generalization" post, and I see you used "eternal damnation".Change mine to "Much like my beloved gang green, they are condemned to taking it up the ass by a two bit cheap cracked out drippy little drawf whore in the sports world by continually fucking with their fans' minds."
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I respect your opinion on Stewart, I'm just trying to understand it, especially if you're self-professed Dem. As a liberal I would have hung myself four years ago without Stewart. I think people fail to understand his contribution to the national discourse. He exposes hypocrisy on both sides of the aisle and he has served as pretty much the only real mainstream critic of the mass media and corporate news outlets.
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About the rectal collapse had me laughing too.
Also had me thinking of the end of Alien Ressurection for some reason. -
is the fucking ineptness of Democrats in Congress.
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Sep 24, 2008 10:03:15 AM CDT
HoboCode -- I understand what he is doing....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....and I understand it is probably necessary to keep the cause alive. I guess I'm just kind of bitter that we live in a world where politics needs to be injected with smart ass comedy for anyone 20-35 to give a shit. And I really just can't stand him. I see his face and I want to beat him in the throat with a mallet.
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never gets old.
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...now Massa is praising Eagle Eye. YES!!
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at a lack of a Fringe TB? I mean WTF is this site good for if there is no TB for a new sci-fi drama produced by JJ Abrams? Is this some kind of joke?
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We were watching that last night. Its one of the only tv shows I've ever been impressed enough with to actually continue to watch. I'm gonna try my hardest to stay with it all season....but yeah-- JJ Abrams is a fucking God.
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Right after House, which has disappointed me so far this season.
But Fringe has been good as far as a little sci-fi to keep me interested until The Sheild comes on.
Never thought I would see Joshua Jackson take a role like this though. -
They cracked down on video here last week because the girls from payroll were watching YouTube all day. So I'll watch at home.And Canadians are crazy for Stewart and Colbert.
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Sep 24, 2008 10:23:18 AM CDT
I wonder how many people would actually talk about Fringe
by chittychittygangbang
and not use it as a TB to slam JJ left and right.
It would be "Blah, blah, blaj, JJ sucks! Blah, Blah, Blah, JJ will shit all over Star Trek, Blah, Blah, Blah, Fringe is trying to be X-Files, blah, blah."
Trust me, if people would actually talk about the episodes that would be great, but you would have a lot of people just there to slam JJ. -
Calling JJ Abrams a God? I know he liked MI:3, but he's been mum on Lost. Cloverfield and Alias.I'll watch Fringe at the end of the season.
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I agree. So far it has been lackluster. Although I did enjoy the PI character. I still enjoy it but I miss the original cast. Omar is still on often enough but where is the lovely Jennifer Morrison? And relegating Chase to a 2 minute surgery scene every episode sucks. I miss House's frequent abuse of him dammit. Kumar doesn't cut it for me. Olivia Wilde looks so inhuman I can barely look at her. And if Wilson leaves you can forget me watching completely.
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I'm confused so far but liking it. What was the deal with the bodies shown at the end of the last episode in which Walter was mumbling numbers to himself? Was that someone I was supposed to recognize? It was an interesting reveal last night that Royles is working with Massive Dynamic.
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They had a good formula, why shakes things up to to shake things up?
Yes, the PI character has been fun, but I miss Chase and Jen Morrision.
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It's no Lost, but it's quite interesting and to be honest, it's better at this point than X-Files was when it first came on television.
However, I doubt the leads of this show will ever develop the chemistry that Scully and Mulder had. Noble's nutty scientist is cool though. -
I enjoy Lost on occasion. But I don't want tv shows regularly enough to really appreciate it. I watch a random episode and have no idea what the fuck is going on. So I'm gonna try and be faithful to Fringe....I just always fucking forget. A month will go by and I'll be like oh yeah-- what happened to that show? I'm one of the only guys on the planet to defend JJ's Superman script. I love his writing. It is engaging, swift, and entertaining as hell. He
changed a ton of classic Superman mythos....sure-- who gives a shit? Someone needs to shake that shit up. Why the hell do I want to see the same tired formula over and over and over again? Its been done. Lets see something fresh. He seems like a cool guy in interviews. His little presentation at TED was great...if anyone has seen it. And I appreciate anyone that takes a job to restart Star Trek and goes on about how he is a much bigger Star Wars fan..... AND......the cherry on top for me is that yes...JJ wrote REGARDING FUCKING HENRY. BAM!! -
....if the audience sticks with it. Its fucking epic. Lost is entertaining...but Lost never felt like a movie to me. It feels like a TV show.
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but you know what's odd, that I just realized...I never saw MI3, and I don't even remember why I missed it. I'm a big Lost fan, just starting to get into Alias(picked up a free season back at some family reunion a month ago), and thought Cloverfield was a fun monster flick.
So, is MI3 worth watching? I thought the first was "meh",and the second was nearly unwatchable. -
What the hell? That was pure fucking De Palma. I love the first Mission. IMO 3 is the most fun....but 1 is probably stronger.
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Was anyone else creeped out by that lady haveing the baby so fast?
Wow.
My wife walked in and asked what in the world was I watching.
I told her House just to see her reaction. -
The second one was not very good to me.
But yeah Jonah, I would reccomend checking out the third one if it is on TV -
I like the first and third ones.The second does not exist, even in slow-mo heaven.
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Lost can be very cinematic, but you really need to start from the beginning and go through. It's an entirely different experience. Go get the first season, and come back here a few months later after you have devoured the whole series and let me know what you think.
I've gotten everyone here at work addicted to it, and most of our friends and family.
Give it a shot. If you aren't hooked after the first five eps, I apologize for wasting your time. -
Best use of dirt bike tires on crotch rockets I have ever seen.
Congrats Woo.
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it was pure DePalma, which usually translates to several excellent, AMAZING setpieces centered around a muddled, clunky plot. Untouchables is an exception.
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Sep 24, 2008 10:58:14 AM CDT
the thing that is cool with MI: 3 is Abrams.....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...method of storytelling. It is awesome to just open with Hunt tied down all fucked up looking with PSH screaming in his face. And then BAM slam cut straight into the opening title sequence. It is a tough ass way to open the film and unexpected. The entire film is filled with unique approaches to a blockbuster action film. Like not showing Hunt in the building stealing the Rabbit's Foot. In most films this would be the massive action piece at the end of the film, but instead we stick with lesser characters in the car having a personal moment and just hear Hunt over the radio running and shooting. Interesting.
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Don't start watch those eps on Sci-Fi channel, as they are already moved along pretty far along into the first season.
I do rewatch them on occasion just to remember how good that first season was. -
..I just don't have the time for that shit. I saw the first 4 episodes I believe. To me the first 3 episodes of Fringe destroy Lost already. One day I'll have time to watch the entire run...maybe when I retire.
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Danny. Thanks.2006 was a crap summer, so Im not sure why I didnt see MI3. Eagle Eye at the Imax tomorrow night. I'll let you know how it is. But if it's good, I don't wanna hear any of this "shia d--sucking" talk aimed at me.
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Sep 24, 2008 11:02:04 AM CDT
Jonah Echo -- I promise to refrain from Shia dick sucking...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
..comments. But I might throw a few hand-job lines your way....just no oral.
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have the same level of character development or plotting that Lost has. It's a great action sci-fi show so far, but it isn't as compelling. Some of those early episodes of Lost were some of the finest t.v. I can remember.
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.....saying it felt too much like an Alias episode. I never saw Alias but I guess the whole "Rabbit's Foot," thing feels like shit from the show. Its just a mysterious object everyone is after but nobody knows what it is. Its funny because I remember an interview with Cruise saying he watched all the seasons of Alias on dvd and called Abrams saying he wanted an MI movie just like Alias.
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into seeing Eagle Eye..Tomorrow, Ill post a review that says
"Harry is right, it's best to go into this movie blind due to the surprises that await. For instance who knew that the marketing hides the fact that ten minutes in Shia is replaced by Martin Lawrence and Kirsten Dunst plays his love interest/adopted orphan". -
like ALIAS would be cool. I actually felt that Alias, at least so far in it's first season, was what I wanted from a Mission Impossible movie.
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I could probably sit through Eagle Eye if somebody begged me to. But I would just pay for Nights In Rodanthe and sneak in. I advise everyone here to do the same. Come on man its Gere.....help a brotha' out!! -
Sep 24, 2008 11:09:24 AM CDT
I officially give up on trying to understand Danny
by hawaiian organ donor
The guy is a mystery to me. I love ya, brother, but I'll be damned if I can figure you out. One boy wonder director is a hack, the other is the goods.And I'm on board the Mission Impossible train. The first one really surprised me by how much I liked it at the time although I haven't seen it since the movie theater. And the third one was just pure action entertainment. Plus it has PSH and I'll watch him in anything.I love John Woo but MI:2 was unspeakable garbage.So one of the HR higher ups heard a conversation I had over the phone with one of our employees yesterday and the employee was being condescending and verbally abusive. So naturally I flinched and fired a salvo back but with class and wit. You guys know me, I'm not going to take someone speaking down to me. So this backstabbing harpy goes over my head to the top HR guy and complains about the way I spoke to the employee even though she only heard half the conversation. And she wants me written up.Luckily, my immediate supervisor has my back and refuses to comply as I did what comes naturally when someone is insulting you, especially a fellow co-worker who's a coward because he uses the anonymity of the phone to hurl insults at someone who is trying to help them out.The corporate world sucks. I've had enough of office politics.
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looks painful to me. I hate crap like that. It looks like Gere making those same kinds of movies over and over again. The problem is Gere is talented, and could be doing plenty of other things. I just rewatched Mothman again recently. Give him another thriller. He excells at those.
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Whats so perplexing about me liking Abrams? He is a great writer and has created some fine T.V.
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flick with Claire Danes, The Flock? Was it worth seeing?
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looks bad ass. Shit like that can be painful.....but when its done right its great. I know Gere won't let me down. I saw an Eagle Eye tv spot that made it look just like fucking Transformers. The over all look and color palette is very similar. You could just CG robots into several shots in the trailer and it would work.
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Sep 24, 2008 11:18:38 AM CDT
Wasn't there a Transformer that turned into a crane?
by chittychittygangbang
I mean it was a truck and all, but is that DJ's homage to Transformers?
A wink and nod to the greatest action movie ever to feature a robot pissing on a man?
Of course that was Bay's homage to Rawhead Rex pissing on that Priest. -
LOL. Did everyone in this thread hate Transformers? I remember rolling my eyes, but I recall enjoying it. It seems really wierd that I'd be the one to like it while others hated it. I've considered watching it again to find out why, but that might be a bit too much research.
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Sep 24, 2008 11:25:43 AM CDT
Jonah....I wasn't insulting Transformers there....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...I did indeed hate it, but seriously-- Eagle Eye looks like it could have been the trailer for Transformers 2. The photography and the type face on EXECUTIVE PRODUCED BY STEVEN SPIELBERG looks identical. Its weird.
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or through email. I had a condescending fuck from Australia (CEO of our operations back then) basically telling me I was a fucking idiot for asking for some information from them. Well, my boss got my back and emailed him back. Suffice to say, he turned out to be an idiot and was wrong and apologized to everyone. However, the little bastard didn't apologize to me directly, but instead included it in the email to my boss.I should have become a plumber or something.
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And yes, I did enjoy the robots and the effects were indeed good.
I just hated stuff like when the robot peed on the guy and ther robot break dancing and trying to talk jive.
But after seeing it again, I realize they were marketing this for both adults and kids (where the millions of dollars in merchandising kicks in).
So I skipped past a few scenes for the kids and actually had a movie I could watch again.
I would like to see repeat viewings and see what everyone else thought. -
When the group is driving through the desert and the Autobots fly by going the opposite direction and slam the breaks and flip a U-turn to join them. That moment was fucking cool as shit. Thats the only one though.... -
but I do prefer it to MI2. And the rectal prolapse threat/ harangue was semi-stolen from Naked Lunch. The Candyfloss was my touch.
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And I still don't like it. Nothing could save that piece of shit from not being a big waste of money. And the "jokes" are even more excruciating the second time around.
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It came out at the height of Cruise backlash. Right around that time he was universally hated for his remarks about Brooke Shield's post-partem depression not being real or not neding to be treated with drugs. Basically his Scientology bullshit. It's a shame though becasue MI3 kicks ass. The drone on the bridge scene and the vatican scene are fucking sweet.
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Sep 24, 2008 11:34:04 AM CDT
the face transformation scene is amazing in MI:3....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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That was pretty cool.
Basically I wanted a movie geared for adults, but understood they had to include kid stuff.
I swear that movie nearly tore the internet asunder just from AICN. -
all that crap with the pissing and the anthony anderson donut eating, and even Megan Fox(let's face it, it's sort of tacky that her high school student is sleazy stripper hot)and those lines like "Bring the Rain" and the jive talking robot were all irritating. The rest of it was pretty amusing to me.
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is the showdown between Optimus and Bonecrusher ending with Optimus putting BC in a headlock and jamming his laser sword into his head.
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What's perplexing is that some of the criticisms you have of other directors (I won't name names, we all know who they are) are criticisms I've heard lobbed at Abrams by fanboys. I personally enjoy his stuff but there are a lot of people who think he's a talentless hack. So it wouldn't have come as a surprise to me if you felt the same way.You're just a hard guy to get a grasp on. You slammed Clooney yesterday for always playing Clooney, infusing his politics into stuff and for being a smug douchebag. Yet you don't seem to have a problem with Tom Cruise who with rare exceptions (i.e. Magnolia) always plays himself, infuses Scientology not into his movies but his media life and has always come off as probably the smugest guy in Hollywood to me. Not that any of that bothers me as I'm a huge fan of Tom. I enjoy most of his movies and short of him being a pedophile, his private life is no concern of mine.I'm not knocking you, to each his own. You're just an enigma wrapped in a riddle fired from the cannon of WTF.
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Sep 24, 2008 11:36:36 AM CDT
I liked this post I put up so much I'm going to repeat it here
by lost jarv
Coming to cinemas near you, Michael Bay the visionary director of Transformers brings you "DICK". Based on the Herman Melville masterpiece “Moby Dick”, this eagerly anticipated blockbuster tells the story of one man's crusade against forces beyond his control. Marvel at the groundbreaking special effects and trailblazing slow motion, gasp at the sheer number and volume of perfectly rendered CGI explosions. Laugh at the humour of the eponymous giant whale pissing on Ahab, cry when Ahab must choose between the woman he loves and the whale he needs. Starring Martin Lawrence (Black Knight) as Ahab and Jessica Biel (Texas Chainsaw Massacre)as Nelly, the barmaid that captures Ahab's heart, with a special appearance from Shia Lebouf as the sore-bummed cabin boy, and featuring Robert Deniro in one of his finest comic cameos as “Ishmael” the hi-larious prankster of a first mate, with "Moby Dick", the legendary titan of the seas being voiced by Burt Reynolds. This summer there is only one experience that will guarantee a whale of a time Soundtrack by Aerosmith.
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Sep 24, 2008 11:37:08 AM CDT
I didn't so much hate Trans for the jokes....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....I understand it had to appeal to kids and adults. And believe it or not I didn't even hate it for Shia. I hated it because it could have been great. It had a lot of good ingredients. The whole boy and his car thing could have been extremely moving and powerful...but Bay has the finesse of Dick # 27 in a gang bang vid, and it is quite apparent he has never met a real human being-- as he has no idea how they actually maneuver through life. The relationships are so fucking fake and artificial. Shia didn't need the slutty ass whore side-kick......there was no fucking chemistry there whatsoever....if they cut her character they could have added some power to his relationship with the Bots, especially his car. He should have been a lonelier guy. If he was more of a loner without any real friends and a shitty home life, it could have been great. -
It was shit. Now lets move on. Mind you, it only took me, erm, well, erm, I've still not managed this actually, to get over Star Wars: The Phantom Wallet Rape.
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as strange as the stuff you are saying sounds(he should be lonelier, and have more of a relationship with his car) you are right. That's the kind of thing a movie with this concept needed to be about. It could have been far more interesting and would have forced the filmmakers(hate calling Bay that, but whatever) to really characterize the Autobots better.
It's why I'm not opposed to the idea of a sequel. They still could get it right. However, the fact Fox is coming back sort of suggests it's probably just more of the same. -
forward to, this fall?
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The Sector 7 shit sucked. Just SUCKED. It fucking blew dirty anus. End of story. And the whole scene with the Transformers in the backyard was a waste of time and money. They could have replaced that tired slpastick bullshit with nice character building scenes for the TFs. And Bumblebee being taken by S7 should have been more emotional but the relationship between the two was never adequately built, partly becasue BB couldn't fucking speak.
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It was like they didn't even make an effort to explain things. The effects are some of the best yet, but giant robots stomping around a neighborhood undetected, cubes the size of my office building that can shrink to the size of a lunchbox and intentionally bringing killer robots into a civilian area were beyond dumb.
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Clooney VS. Cruise?!! What the fuck? This thing is Clooney gets the reputation of being some big risk taker with his films. And for some reason the entire world has been hypnotized into thinking he is some great actor. Cruise has the reputation of basically being a studio/blockbuster hack.....nobody has ever really taken his acting seriously. Even if people like him, I don't think they would think of Cruise as an amazing actor. You can take any 10 minutes from Interview With The Vampire, and any 10 minutes from Born on The Fourth of July, and what you get is more powerful than Clooney's entire body of work as actor, director, or Soderbergh's fluffer. The general movie going audience judge their movie stars just like they judge their Presidential candidates. They base their opinion on likeability. Cruise is now seen as some fucking cult leader freak,. while Clooney is the everyman nice guy. So of course....Clooney wins. Its the "Guy I'd Like To Have a Beer With," stigma. -
the back channels, HOD? I found Negative Happy Chainsaw Edge, but it doesn't have subtitles unfortunately. :(
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It would have made a better character to have Shia a loner and kept it that way.
If you have to have Fox in it, then make her the sort of quite and shy girl that comes out of her shell.
Imagine Fox all covered up and then in the end realizing she can kick ass and ditches the jean skirt that goes to her ankles and starts wearing normal (not slutty) clothes.
Dress her up like Mandy Moore in A Walk To Remember at first and then let her come out of her shell.
I didn't like the fact that marketed this to kids and glorified a girl that acted like a stripper. -
The soldiers constantly bitching about the guys use of Spanish. Is this some kind of thinly veiled hatred of Hispanics by Bay? And who could forget the streotypical Indian customer service agent? Awful.
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.......toward the end. Its Shia's only friend in the whole fucking world, and now he is taken from him. Like his horse died or something. That could have been heart breaking.
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Megan Fox is basically like a (how did the critics put it) slab of she plastic for the entire film. It was too creepy, and even creepier was Turtorro spewing "She's HAWWWTT, Criminals are HAWWT!" Uggh.
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Tad Hamilton (to Shia): YOU'RE ONE OF US NOW, YOU'RE A SOLDIER!!
That was the moment I said whoa whoa.....now wait just a minute. WHAT THE FUCK?! -
it should have been like Old Yeller? Like Bumblebee get's compacted in the end or something? And he can still talk via his transmitter, but now he's just a cube of trash that Shia keeps on his nightstand, and talks to.
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where Speed Racer bombs and Transformers blows the roof off the box office.
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While writing it they should have looked at every powerful kid's movie where an animal dies. That should have been the basis. And then he could come back in a later sequel.
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Every time some nimcumpoop uttered those words in the film it felt like a military recruitment video, which I'm sure the military made them include for use of their hardware in the film.
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Sep 24, 2008 11:58:18 AM CDT
every Bay film feels like a military commercial....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
How many scenes of aircraft taking off in front of a sunset do I have to sit through in my fucking life?!! FAAAAWWWWK!!
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Anyone care to explain how it got fixed? Plot. Hole.
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Just go to Youtube and several people have made collections of just the action scenes.
That is usually what I watch when I think I want to watch it again.
Trust me, it is better than watching the whole movie.
I also watch the first Tri-Pod attack from War of the Worlds. -
to be used for all robot and kid movie.
Damn I love that movie.
I almost would like to see it live action. -
You lot have lost. Single worst moment, even worse than what is mentioned and even more inappropriate- the WANK gag. BEcause that unsubtle moron bay thinks that every family movie needs at least one joke about pulling your pud.
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God DAMN that scene OWNED. After that scene I sat in the theater saying to myself, "My god The Beard has done it." He's made the best sci-fil film of all time. Then the rest of the movie happened, which isn't terrible but not nearly as good. But the son showing up at the end? Fuck you Spielberg. Fuck you.
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aim at. Perfection. And no tear-jerking in it.
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and it made like 4 million dollars at the box office.
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fucking awful half-arsed shite. It's like a compendium of Spielberg's flaws.
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How dare you utter such words Hobo? The only time this comment is ever EVER appropriate, is when in reference to Indy IV. I know you defend it....but no fucking way in hell can you think Indy IV is better than War of the Worlds. No fucking way.
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Mrs. Dick Blood loves it (of course) and we watched it last year. I used to love it as a kid, but its lost a lot of its charm over the years. There are scenes that go on for fucking ever.
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cause Indy 4 pretty much was better than WOW.
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Timeless.
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Sep 24, 2008 12:09:40 PM CDT
I dont get the hate for the son coming back in WOTW....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
You don't like the sappy ending....I get that. And I understand having the son actually die....like Cruise finds him all tore up and its a tragic scene. But did you really want him to run off and we just never hear from him again? At the end we're just kinda wondering, "He had a son, didn't he? Wonder what happened to him." That would have been retarded.
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Indy 4 is merely meh. War of the Worlds is unholy arse.
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Sep 24, 2008 12:11:42 PM CDT
no, having him make it out alive is beyond retarded
by just pillow talk
Unless the kid is a mutant and has like a magical shield around him or something, then it makes perfect sense that he lived while running TOWARDS the machines that destroyed absolutely fucking everything that the army threw at them.
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I withhold my judgment as to which is better: War of the Worlds vs. Indy 4.And the original War of the Worlds kicks both their asses.
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I watched TPB last weekend and it is beyond awesome. I think it's got more charming with age- the ROUS's obviously being MAN IN SUIT for example.
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Sep 24, 2008 12:17:54 PM CDT
There are two things I will have to live with....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
.....Shia will always win, and a Republican will probably be in the White House for the next 12 years.
They both hurt me immensely, yet I'm powerless against them. Indy IV is one of those things that makes me suspicious of everyone around me. How the fuck could anyone enjoy this thing? Awwww....don't answer that. I don't care. Its pointless discussing it any further. Jonah is right. -
eh? I'm taking this very badly. It's like watching someone kicking to death a wendy house.
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It was a colossal let down. It's just better than War of The Worlds. Anyway, this is redundant as Spielberg's worst film is easily that festering bag of shite The Lost World.
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Any moment with the Fred Savage/Columbo narration is hemorrhoids to get through. This is a plot device I loved as a kid and I fucking loathe now. The talking before the Inigo fight is dull. Wally Shawn gets on my fucking nerves during the poisoning scene. And Billy Crystal horse shit gives me diarrhea. It should have just been Cary Elwes and Andre The Giant storming through the kingdom together.....
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But Jarv.....despite all this -- overall I still give it a strong 7 for nostalgia sake. Its just one of those films you will always watch in life. It just isn't as good as it once was.
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It makes me feel warm and fuzzy- and shows what a strong family bond they have. The chat with Inigo is hysterical, Wallace Shawn is the shit, but I will give you that Billy Crystal's scene was rubbish. It's wonderful and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
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see you later chaps. I will leave you with this musing. TPB is much better, warts and all, than Stardust. ALthough I do like stardust.
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have fun storming the castle!
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It felt like it was trying a bit too hard. And that shit would have been impressive and magical feeling 10 years ago....not now though. Not after all the crazy fantasy shit we've seen as of late.
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Holds up to repeat viewings, until I get to the Tim Robbins part.
I think the scenes would have been WAY more effective with it just being Cruise and Fanning by themselves.
But yeah, those tripods were fucking tits man.
I wish I had a horn that could reproduce that sound on my car.
Fuck that, I just want one of those tripods to commute in.
Every morning the ground would shake and I would walk it to work. Even dispatch a few shitheels on the way to work.
I bet they got shitty stomps per gallon though. -
...up until the son ran off. They followed that up with the Tim Robbins bit and it became insufferable nonsense until that idiot ending. It could have been one of Spielberg's greatest.
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Classic Chitty.
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Sep 24, 2008 1:15:39 PM CDT
yeah Tim Robbins went on for a bit too long....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...but I just don't get the complaints about the son surviving from people who enjoyed watching Shia get smacked in the balls 25 times in Indy IV, and swing on fucking vines! What the shit is this?! HOD-- 1 to 10...what would you give WOTW?
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Not trying to be an asshole, but tragedy is part of world invasion by aliens.
I think it would hit home more if Cruise would have lost his son.
Instead we get him beating Cruise and Fanning to Boston.
When the son says "I have to see this." I would have fired back "Shit son, how much do you need to see? I've seen enough of these damn things already."
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Sep 24, 2008 1:18:52 PM CDT
I'm always for death...I think Han should have died in Empire...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....and the son could have died in WOTW. That could have been powerful. And Indy should have died during the first 5 minutes of Indy IV. He should have been blasted in the forehead by a Russian sniper.
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At red lights I would make it do the Running Man dance until it turned green again.
You know, to liven up the commute. -
I fucking loved the weird look of the red flesh covered landscape when Cruise comes out of the basement. That is so Alice In Wonderland looking and bizarre it makes my nuts giggle.
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Sep 24, 2008 1:25:36 PM CDT
I'm shocked. Absolutely stunned by this news. Just stupified
by toadkillerdog
Amazing. Extremely hard to believe. Still shaking my head.
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sort of a passing of the torch.
Then the screen could start flashing "Rage! Fanboys Rage! I'm George Lucas and there is nothing you can do about it!"
Theaters across the country would have burned to the ground.
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Neigh still means Neigh?!
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I just can't believe it! Who'da thunk it?
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...it could have worked. All of Indy's old friends-- Short-Round, Sala, The Ghost of Marcus Brody, Papa Jones, the dude that flies the plane in Raiders, all those fuckers could have spoken at his memorial. And then they tell a funny, touching story and we transition to a flashback which are just all the great highlights from the earlier three films. So really the 4th film is just a montage of the greatest stunts in film history.
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I quickly filed it in the DUH! drawer.
I wonder when he realized this?
Since he was young, or when TMZ came to his door and threatened to reveal footage of him taking it up the rear from Lance 'In your ass' Bass. -
The death rays run on wood pellets.
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If Clay Aiken is gay than its true-- Meagan Fox is indeed a man with a shitload of make-up and a great spray on tan.....because I saw the two of them making out in line at Gelson's just last week.
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Horribly written. Horribly 'motivated'. I do not blame the actor, but Speilberg just threw the entire 9/11 kitchen sink in that movie - where it did not belong. Trying mightily to tie 9/11 to the invasion - in order to generate false sympathy. And the boy was the most egregious example of such a wrong-minded appraoch. He was awful. The entire theater groaned when he 'came' back to life.
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Was when the swordsman challenged him and he just pulled out his pistol and shot him.
Genius, as that is what a normal person would have done.
I heard that was an improvised scene from Ford.
Just like it was his idea to say "I know." when Leia said she loved him.
Ford was the best. -
Which was an old fashioned popcorn adventure serial not to be taken that seriously.
WOTW was serious subject matter. I liked it. It's a good film. But it should have been great. The Tim Robbins scene was unnecessary and out of place, and the son retuning at the end after walking over a hill that was immedialtely engulfed in a wall of fire was a cop out. -
being buried under the earth for however long, it was pretty great up until the whole super son/crazy Timmy bit.BTW...when the tripod crashes into the building with smoke stacks..that was 2 1/2 minutes away from my house. Also the scene where they see the dead bodies floating down the river. In fact, until they cleaned up that river, bodies used to always float down that river.
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Sep 24, 2008 1:36:35 PM CDT
In order to rate WotW, I have to split it in two
by hawaiian organ donor
The first half with the electrical storm, the tri-pod attack in Jersey, the 360 on the van as it races down the highway, the river of dead bodies, that attack on the ferry, it's all awesome stuff. I'd rate that first half a solid 9 out of 10.Enter Tim Robbins and it plummets to a 0. The only redeeming image in that second half is Cruise coming around a corner and there's a downed tri-pod resting on a warehouse. That image, like that mammoth monster at the end of The Mist, is one of those scope establishing shots I'm a total sucker for.
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not because he was awful per se, but he was involved in the very worst scenes that they decided to throw into the movie. The whole jungle scene sucked.My favorite scene is still the motorcycle chase.
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when it just pulled back and you saw the scope of their attack.
Amazing.
Damn, now that I think about it, that movie could have been in my Top 5 of all time.
I also think Robbins should played his character from Bull Durham and start throwing rocks at the tripods and missing terribly.
Until Cruise comes along and mentors him like Crash Davis did. -
That groan you heard had nothing to do with the teenage kid coming back to life-- it was a collective orgasm the audience experienced without fully understanding why. You see at that very moment Mr. Steven Spielberg flipped past an episode of Even Stevens and said to his wife, "You see that kid? The little annoying one with a perm? I'm gonna make that little bastard a star." We all felt it that night in the theater. We all knew the art of cinema had suddenly cried out in anguish like a dying star.
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I was on another sire and helped start a three-day discussion on who would win in a fight between that monster and the creature from Cloverfield.
Those guys take their creatures very seriously.
Some even broke down exactly why each would win.
I love the internet. -
Danny, I bet when he said that about Shia his wife raised from giving him a blowjob and said "I bet you can't."
This instance of doubt invoked a rage in Speilberg, who will have Shia star in EVERY movie he does from now on just to spite her. -
Imagine Queen Latifah riding Clovey reverse cow-girl, flappin' them skins. It starts to feel different and warmer than before so Clovey looks down and checks only to find the rubber busted. Fuck!! Always ruins the mood....
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Actually it went more like this...
The Beard: I'm gonna make a star out of that little bastard.
Kate: (Gulp) I bet you.....(Cough Cough) can't.... -
I bet Queen Latifah got up the next morning with those crab things hanging from the walls and just said "Motherfucker!!!"
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Who would win in a 4 way free for all between The Mist Monster, Cloverfield Beast, and Kathy Bates' pussy, and Warwick Davis dick? -
...has access to a skateboard than I'm giving that thing my vote.
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Sep 24, 2008 1:55:36 PM CDT
You actually say Lindsay Lohan in reverse drag w Meagan Fox
by toadkillerdog
Making out in the park. Lilo was cheatin on her galpal
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It is more monster than human now. Second - here's another 4 way to consider:1. The Bates pussy2. Warwick Davis' tripod 3. Burt Gummer's mustache 4. Bruce Campbell's jawDiscuss.
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The Beard: "I'm gonna make that kid a staYEEEEEAAAAWWWWW!"
Capshaw: "Sorry honey, I started laughing when you said that and bit down..."
The Beard: "We will see who laughing in a few years. Now why did you stop tickling my balls and pull the lollipop out of my ass?" -
The four-way fight has me crackin up!
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Name a physical characteristic - real or imagined of your favorite or most hated actor that easily identifies them!
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The Bates pussy and Warwick's cock would be a draw I would think.
Sort of cancel each other out like unstoppable force meets immovable object.
So...Gummer's mustache and Campbell jaw.
Can Gummer's muctache bring weapons? If not I have to give a slight edge to Campbell's jaw, as it has seen more hand-to-jaw combat.
Also the leading edge of the jaw can spread and wider blow than the narrow armor-piercing powers of Gummer's mustache.
Shit this is hard. -
If I say "Tits". There are only 3 acceptable answers. 1) Dioria Baird 2) Christina Hendricks 3) Carla Gugino
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Dolly Parton's tits.
Being serious (and I always loved her tits) she was just starting out as an actress and didn't know any better. But she memorized the entire 9-to-5 script. The whole damn thing, not just her lines, but everybody else's lines in the movie.
That is funny and fucking amazing at the same time. -
It's got the elasticity of Mr. Fantastic, the strength of the Thing, and the manliness stench of, well, Burt.On the other hand Bruce's jaw can stop an asteroid and the lady's dig it.But you are quite right, The Bates' pussy and Warwick's magic willow wand would destroy existence as we know it.
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Thora Birch's wacky tits from American Beauty.
Looked like a cartoon character's eyes after being hit with a frying pan.
Wacky tits! Wacky tits!
I just like writing that. -
I should clarify - currently working women. Dolly's, Adrienne's, and Mimi Rogers are in the hall of fame
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Wacky tits = Thora Birch. Finest Ass = Jennifer Lopez Jackass = Dane Cook/Will Ferrell
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Sep 24, 2008 2:20:10 PM CDT
well, I'm very partial to everything Monica Bellucci
by just pillow talk
You had me dying over here Chitty. Best use of frying pan in a talkback.
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raving bout Feast 2? Did anyone else here think Feast 1 actually sucked pretty hard?
He talked about characters walking about with monster jizz on them.What?
The Burrowers however, is apparently a western with underground creatures and Clancy Brown playing a grizzled gunslinger. Yes please. -
I had a brain freeze. Swap Christina Hendricks for Moan-nica!
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....I had a good time with it.
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McCain is suspending his campaign to focus on the economy.Whew!
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but it looks like there's some hot chicks in it. I suppose it's too much to hope for some nekkidness?
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Sep 24, 2008 2:33:32 PM CDT
oh shit...Feast 2 is still John Gulager directing?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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I think there is a dirty ass sex scene at the beginning with a fat ass biker dude doing a chick while she watches tv. Its nothing good looking though. The movie is very nasty and gross. But its fun as shit. Henry Rollins is awesome in it.
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Sep 24, 2008 2:37:10 PM CDT
Wasn't Feast 1 a glorified Tales from the Crypt episode?
by chittychittygangbang
I have only seen clips and such, but it is the first movie that looks better on Wikipedia.
Beast monster traps people in a bar/hotel movie is Tales From the Crypt Demon Knight.
That actually was a glorified episode, but came off as a very entertaining movie. Go figure. -
list of characters: bozo, coach, heroine, beer guy, hot wheels, edgy cat, honey pie, tuffy, hero, drunk girl, harley mom, finger girl...I may have to give this a look...
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Sep 24, 2008 2:40:08 PM CDT
yeah the script was probably 8 pages for Feast...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Thats why the character names are like that....its basically just an excuse to setup a simple scenario for monsters to tear shit up for 80 minutes. They fill it with random stock characters to get picked off one by one. Its funny and nasty as fuck. And its a first time feature director that won the Project Greenlight competition. Its pretty damn cool for a million dollars.
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...did you check out Margot At The Wedding or Across The Universe?
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sounds similar, but hey, I'll take all the creature features I can get.
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I was in the middle of something else so I was popping in and out, but Mrs. Pillow bailed on it after like 40 minutes. If it doesn't pique her interest, she usually turns it off pretty quickly. She actually lasted longer than usual.I haven't gotten to Across the Universe yet. My movie watching tends to take a dip during football season, plus tracking the Mets self-imploding yet again.
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but it wasn't really put together all that well. And I don't say that as a snob but someone who watched this amidst a marathon of movies: The Woods, The Roost, Reeker and Descent. Unfortunately, I watched Descent right before Feast, to the latter's detriment.
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The Hero busts through the doors of the bar covered in blood and says, "Listen to me. A storm o'hell's coming down on this place any second. I don't know what they are, I don't know where they came from. All I do know is that these fuckers are fast, nasty, and hungry... and there's four of 'em. They got claws like Ginsu knives and more teeth than a chainsaw. They're comin'... right now. So we gotta lock this bar down. That means doors, windows, drains, and zippers, and we gotta do it now. You! Get a phone, call the cops, National Guard, townies, anybody who kicks ass, and get 'em out here. Any questions?"
Bartended asks, "Yeah. Who the hell are you?"
Hero says, "I'm the guy that's gonna save your ass." A monster arm busts through the window through Hero's chest and yanks his ass outside, presumably tearing him to pieces. We never see Hero again. :( -
Is that they are talking about NC-17 ratings for both.
Well I'll be pig-fucked!
That is some good news.
Let's see, tits, maybe some muff shots, lots of gore and filthy lauguage.
Score! -
..the creatures should fight Kathy Bates' pussy. That thing would attack like the snapping beak of a giant octopus!
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One of the creatures tries to escape, but The Bates' jizz trap shoots out Warwick Davis tied to the end of a used embelical cord.
Davis latches on to the creature and The Bates' pulls it back in. -
in Feast, it's mostly the monsters having sex,or at least that was the first one. I recommend actually watching the first one before getting excited for more. Maybe you will like it more than I did.
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Bates should have an actual chair for this purpose that she straps herself into sorta like Quint in Jaws. That is awesome...she opens her legs and blasts Warwick Davis out of her cunt!
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What crowd was this movie playing to?
I was thinking it was like Demon Knight with Billy Zane.
I loved that movie. -
No shitting!
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about 50 guys furiously masturbating into The Bates' jizz trap, only to have it take it all, burp and say "More!"
Then TWO Warwick Davis' fly out and start grabbing anything with a penis. -
If you notice I post 666th in every TB. I don't know why...it just always happens that way.
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in About Schmidt? The prospect of that alone has scared me off that movie!
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though it could have had a better second half. This was trying to be like that, but it just felt too snarky and too cheap. It was honestly like a horror film for people with add. So literally, as Danny says, it was just the outline for a movie-there are monsters never even attempted to be explained, people who are literally and purposefully one note stereotypes and then just alot of creatures eating and screwing and being killed by the humans.
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Or not.
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and I am a sick bastard.
Funny, but sick nonetheless.
I bet several of you are reading my posts and just staring like a deer in the headlights. -
Two Warwick Davis' grabbing at anything with a penis? AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW FUCKER. I look like an idiot laughing out loud in my silent office.
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a few hours. I'm a gonna have some beers and watch it (my tradition not because i expect it be bad) that is unless i have to go and work in the yard with dad.
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gonna do any horror movie marathons lined up for October.
Halloween falls on a friday, so that's awesome. -
how are you? ever see Feast?
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Toad....yes The Bates showed all the goods in the infamous Jacuzzi scene. She looked nasty....but honestly Jack looked worse. And he's the one who fucks 19 year olds...so he should be ashamed.
Chitty....I keep picturing those massive slobbering pussy lips screaming JOIN US!! In a deep, demonic voice.
Jonah....You have just described the perfect film. -
how are you? ever see Feast?
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I just feel bad if Jonah is sitting there thinking "What have I let into our group?"
I bet he is dailing a mental health hotline and steering them towards Mississippi right now.
But yes, I have lots of fun writing this stuff and hopefully at least one of you gets a kick out of it. -
I can picture The Bates' pussy having the voice of the plant from Little Shop of Horrors.
"I'm a mean pink mother from Kathy Bates and I'm bad!!"
By the time you see Warwicks flying around the room....it is too late. -
Sep 24, 2008 3:24:59 PM CDT
The Bates' pussy looks like the Sarlacc pit in Jedi....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...imagine poor Han dangling over that thing as it belches up the foul stench of The Bates' fallopian gas!!!
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not at all. I am perplexed by it's origins, but you're humor usually outweighs the wierd.
However,I will admit Im hoping you give us a raunch free horror story, because Im looking forward to seeing your serious attempt at a creature feature. -
....but I thought it too predictable. FUCK!! Could have scored there.
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Put's paid on The Bates' place in history!
http://tinyurl.com/294trm
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nope, never seen it.
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The Warwicks fly out of The Bates' jizz trap giggling like Chip and Dale from Disney cartoons and start violently jerking off anything with a penis.
In the meantime The Bates' jizz trap is making a chuckle like Jabba the Hutt's. -
...its great because she doesn't even have to wait for a room to be ready, she can just squat on the table in the waiting room and dump a full grown man out with a geyser of pig entrails and sauerkraut.
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http://tinyurl.com/4fjkfx
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..I'd take the offer as long as Toad is covering the bill.
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Sep 24, 2008 3:40:38 PM CDT
For Chitty - please allow him some dignity. No one else look at
by toadkillerdog
http://tinyurl.com/4d76nk
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You can charge all expenses to it
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How did it feel to get naked in a hot tub?
With Jack Nicholson? Good (laughing). We had a very small set that day so Alexander (Payne) made me feel very comfortable. I even had a little Cosmopolitan before I got in the tub to kind of take the edge off. All in all, it was a good experience.
But it wasn't your first nude scene. Have you become comfortable with onscreen nudity?
I think this was the most comfortable because Alexander and I each negotiated what he wanted and what I wanted, until we both felt comfortable. I love working with Jack and he made it very comfortable, so this was good.
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It is a big party in an abandoned warehouse.
Close to 100 guys are standing around drinking from rows upon rows of beer kegs.
The music is loud and the recipe seems spot-on for a wild time.
But once the guys start mingling and talking they realize that nobody really knows each other.
Some are even from a few towns over.
Also the absence of women at this party throws up another red flag, as nobody claims to be gay.
The confusion gives way to sheer terror as the lights are cut and the music stops.
All of the sudden the emergency lights kick on and the warehouse is flooded with flashes of red.
It only takes a second for the first row of the crowd to hear the menacing giggling. Sort of like Chip and Dale, but without the playful banter.
WHOOOSH!
Two streaks of flying Warwick Davis grab three guys and start dragging them back as they flail and scream.
The other guys look on in horror as the victims are being ripped of their clothes and tiny hands are grabbing them in a way that brings back painful flashes of childhoods in a bathroom with a Playboy magazine.
They are being fellated by tiny hot dog fingers and drug towards two large curtians.
All of the sudden the curtians are whipped back, loops screeching on their rods in futil protest.
The lights come on and the mammoth views of The Bates' outer lips (otherwise known as piss fenders) have torn the curtians away and revealed the horror of twisted flesh and serated teeth.
The deafening roar is following by Motley Crue's Wild Side kicking on and being cranked to full volume.
The screams of many, many frightened males are are interupted by giggling... -
http://tinyurl.com/3t9v3u
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I certainly am looking forward to eagle eye. I'd pay extra for my ticket if i could. maybe i'll just mail the ticket to shia
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mail the money
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My moniter just exploded and belched a shitload of broken glass in my face!
By the way you just found what Viagra uses when they say to call for an erection lasting more than four hours.
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...so its kinda like the blood bath in Blade...
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Kathy Bates' period blood? I'm guessing it smells like a dead dog on fire.
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But they would be pumped dry of jizz first.
Until nothing came out and they doubled over in the pain of nuts running on empty.
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Sep 24, 2008 3:53:40 PM CDT
chitty...that should be your creature story...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
The Attack of Piss Fender!! I have a great opening scene that is like the sequence in Jurassic Park where they are loading the raptors into the paddock. Instead of course, its Bates' pussy lips violently thrashing around in the steel cage and Robert Muldoon screaming, "SHOOOOOOT HER!! SHOOOOOOOOOOT HER!!"
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...you could take large chunks of the film and apply it to The Bates Project. Imagine the large gates of J.P. opening up. Ian Malcolm asks, "What do they got in there-- King Kong?" And Dr. Alan Grant looks back with a cold glare and snaps, "No. Kathy Bates pussy actually." -
One guy escapes after realizing one of the kegs has been accidently filled with SlimFast.
He rocks it back and forth to get the pressure built up and lets it roll.
He is running towards the door and turns around just in time to say "Smile you son of a Booom!!!" -
Feast was fucking awesome! You should watch right away.
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Sep 24, 2008 4:05:28 PM CDT
Chitty - did you see the sawdust and propane tank explosion
by toadkillerdog
On mythbusters?
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Consider it a cult following of sorts.
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What episode was that under?
Was this the same one where they proved that you couldn't just shoot the tank, you had to have some source of ignition?
We shot two before we realized this. -
Bitchfest Dioblow Cody wrote pretty much pin pointing why people hate her? I was surprised they didn't put up anything on this site. I guess Harry is her friend now probably?
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In 'temple' he has to fly a plane for a while but bails out before it crashes. in 'crusade' the jump into a plane and his dad says 'i didn't know you could fly a plane' indy: 'fly? Yes! land? NO!
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It was on youtube first. mythbusters tried to prove it fake, but it turned out to be very real! common sawdust, when lit and propelled by an exploding propane tank, makes a gigantic fireball. Of course mythbusters had to try and do better, so they replaced sawdust with non dairy creamer, which made an even bigger fireball.
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We would either strap a flare or build a small fire in front and take a shit.
They put nondairy creamer where? On the tank? I would like to try this. -
Danny - did you uh, post in there by mistake?
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there is a tb (the moore one) which has become an argument about palin. in the middle of it danny posts something about kathy bates giving birth. hilarious
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Oh thats no mistake pal. I'm gonna be over there posting a whole lotta Kathy Bates goodies.
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I do not know all thep particulars, but it seemed like a large drum was filled with the non dairy creamer. They had a propane tank underneath it. Then they put a lit fuse in the middle of the drum of non dairy creamer and waited for it to interact with the gas and BOOM!
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but they get a lot of shit wrong.
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Just dropping in to TB's and posting totally non-relevant but funny shit. I hope you get a reaction.
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That should be enough text to warrant a glance and flaming.
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Inane stuff
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Thanks for the quote Toad.....talk to you guys tomorrow. LONG LIVE THE PISS FENDERS OF THE BATES!!
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I've been gone all day and I come home to probably the funniest talkback I have ever seen. The only mistake was eating while reading this. Still, this is absolute top notch quality guys, especially the quip about Bates' vagina winning the battle yoyale with the Mist Monster, the Cloverfield monster and Warwick Daivs, all because of the possession of a skateboard.
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You know why you don't go down on The Bates?
Ever tried to open a grilled cheese sandwhich filled with bloody noodles? -
ahhhhhhhh! fuck you! still it would be more disturbing if i ever did actually go down on someone. seriously, i'm not touching that thing with my face. fuck that.
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I have had my interest aroused by the discussion above.
I have also laughed my ass off rereading some of those posts.
Good stuff. -
i gotta track this movie down. actually i just realised im drunk cause i tried to spell no as 'noe'. I'm watching slacker uprising, having a beer and warming up for eagle eye. Its a beautiful spring day here 1130am 26 degrees c, the sun is out. fucking awesome. this is the best time of year for us, the cold is gone but it is not too hot yet. later in the year it will go over 40.
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Just to have a few more years of source material for a doc.
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it is not really political in a present tense as his past stuff has been. in the past he has been like 'you guys should do this' eg vote kerry. It is certainly polictal and anit bush but it starts off 'this was my failed attempt to get rid of bush in 2004' and its really a road movie about doing that, which so far isn't referencing the current times. it is (sort of) a fly on the wall doco about his campaigning for kerry in 2004. as such it has proselytizing, but about shit that for us is long past. getting drunk.
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Sounds interesting, sort of like what actually gave birth to The Bates.
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it is very self aggrandizing. Michael moore: the rock stars rock star. There is even a girl who wants her boobies signed. Im sitting here trying to figure out if he is making a hero of himself or if his point is: hang on, we lost. what fools we were, maybe it all went to our heads.
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particularly in structure. it is live at the hollywood bowl compared to holy grail
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I can see Moore loving the attention and getting to send his message out.
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it reeks of 'fat nerd who can now get movie star blow jobs' all these rock stars keep talking him up
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don't get me wrong. there is just this huge inflated ego sense about it, and i'm trying to get me head around whether they are true believers or if they retrospectively realise they got caught up in their own myth. you can see moore saw himself as a movie star dragon slayer who was going to 'save the democrats from themselves' (which he says). we know now that he probably had a negitive effect on the democrats. does he realise this? you can see it in the movie, but it is quite open as to how introspective it is.
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How much money is 700 billion? Let me put it into perspective. If you were to divide that pie amongst all the men and women in the United States of America above the age of 18 they would each receive $300, 000 dollars each, from the lowliest bus boy in Manhattan to the highest paid celebrity in Hollywood. Do you think that might stimulate the economy?
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What did I step into over here. What a TB. Chitty and Danny, you guys have outdone yourselves. I don't know whether to laugh or cry or both.Series, I saw that Cody was addressing the backlash against her on her recent blog and it was sort of pathetic. Film makers, especially ones who win the Oscar over a group of infinitely more talented people need to have thicker skin.I'm going to go watch that Moore doc now.
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i don't get it.
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Juno was a fine movie, but Diablo Cody needs to calm down. She had a big moment and she is the flavor of the moment, but better writers than she have come, had their Oscar time, and vanished to rarely be heard from again. It happened all the time in the 90s.
Mostly, though hatred towards her is right there with the absurd hatred towards other celebrities.
Honestly, even the ones I don't care for, like Michael Bay, is it really worth my energy to spend time trashing them? Isn't that in some ways as odd as following after them, praising their every move.
Both approaches reveal a preoccupation with the individual that doesn't strike me as particularly healthy.
The kind of attitude that Danny regularly lampoons over here on a daily basis is the kind of attitude that some people carry around on for real. Or at least, I think Danny is lampooning it. -
hollywood goes in cycles. last year had multiple movies about unplanned pregnancies and this freaked out the right wingers. i watched the knocked up commentary and aptow said 'i'm not against abortion, but if she aborted it we wouldn't have a movie'i was so impressed by juno. i really felt the men spoke like men. usually either the women speack like women or the men speack like men depending on the gender of the author. i doubt she has much more to her but that was seriously top notch writing. i was impressed.
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...but I read the screenplay before I saw the movie and on it's own merits, the screenplay read nothing but a series of witty trend-speak and all I could think was the movie should have been called Zeitgeist.When you put her screenplay side by side with Zodiac, Jesse James and Michael Clayton, it becomes an embarrassment that she won. The Academy doesn't have to get it right, but somewhere in the ballpark would be nice.Lastly, Juno will be dated in 10 years. Academy Award winning scripts and films should be timeless. But that's just my arrogant asshole opinion so I shall STFU now.The Moore doc is pretty good so far. He's an egotistical douchebag who lives for the attention but deep down I'm certain he loves his country and wants a course correction which is more than I can say for the politicians and CEOs who are selling us down the river just so they can add another zero to their bank account.
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and Juno was never nominated because it was better written or even better than many films not nominated. It was nominated because at some level it made people feel good when watching it. I don't think it was a great film. I'd rank it a 3.5 out of 5, and I saw it once and that was enough for me, but many people really warmed to it and that's what the awards were for. Jesse James and Zodiac didn't leave you feeling good in the traditional sense, but there was the feeling that you had seen something special and complete after watching them. I mean Zodiac is the pinnacle of Fincher's career thus far. And it will probably continue to be right up until Benjamin Button get's released.
On another note, I watched Empress and her Warriors. Not one of Donnie's better efforts. It was decent though. Not a bad movie, but sort of ho-hum again. About like you said it was. After that, my wife and I watched Restless(I hadnt rewatched it since I saw it this time last year) and you know what, it's better than I remember. In fact, my thumb is solidly up for it now. It's kind of a neat little fairy tale and I like the way it deals with a fantasy world that is essentially heaven and as these eternal being battle, they realize they knew each other once before on a mortal plane. It's a neat idea, and the visuals are quite nice too. I don't know why I didn't like it the first time through. Hard to say. -
jessie or zodiac, yet to see claton. i'm not saying it was the second coming, it was a thin year. i am a huge fan of chopper and if you havn't seen it, fucking see it! i'm putting most of jessie down to the director. same with zodiac. besides you know what. i just prefered juno. that only just occured to me, cause it is out of my usual vein but i did. I'm gonna go a head and throw it in with mallrats and pulp fiction in its presentation ( i wont let it lick thier boots but still) that inane stuff you are talking about, well me, i love tarantinto smith and richtie, and the conversations in juno and its selfreferentail nature are in that vien. (i am mostly devils advocate here, i liked it but im not going to go crazy over it)
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NEVER FEED THE BATES' PUSSY AFTER MIDNIGHT!
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some funny shit again today to help me relax after a long day! Firget Juno, just make all that into a movie and it will be a clean Oscar sweep in every category!
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how else do you imagine ive able to sit here and ridicule george bush. just remember, without the bread line those crazy liberals wouldn't have any TIME to criticise the government to which they owe so much.
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it is a festering bag of trend-speak wank. And anyone that thinks that it has good dialogue needs shooting. That "home skillet" line actualy made me leave the cinema to kick a tramp to death. It won't be dated in 10 years, because it already is dated.
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surely the "yourself" is redundant there.
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although Bruce's chin is one of the 7 natural wonders of the word, Gummer's legendary stache has actually been known to make stars implode- and anything that can withstand Reba's thigh vibrations has to be all powerful. Overall I give it to the stache. But neither are as fearsome as 2true's #2 pencil.
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it is known as THE BATES (caps are optional but recommended). It ate the "Kathy" about 10 years ago. In fact, it is rapidly approaching country status.
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political TB. There's some loony trying to defend Palin. She is very, very anti-changian and the Holy Trinity will smite her and her evil eays.
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political TB. There's some loony trying to defend Palin. She is very, very anti-changian and the Holy Trinity will smite her and her evil ways.
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wouldn't be the first. the first at a large caliber though, i'll give you that.
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It's very difficult to get a gun here. I'll ask an American.
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and if I can get into zhura I'm going to post it. I love me some dystopia and this is an, albeit predictable, stonking idea. And it's all thanks to Dr Who? and Sarah Palin.
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I'm going to stop laughing at Americans about Sarah Palin- simply because I've just discovered that we had (until very, very recently) a Cabinet Minister that was in Opus Dei. Oh dear. How depressing, at least the bitch is gone, and to be honest was never that important.
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has turned my stomach something rotten. And I've got a hangover. It has reminded me of a joke though: Little Johnny walks up to his dad and asks "Daddy, what does a vagina look like". His father is a bit perplexed, but thinks fuck it- he'll find out sooner or late so replies "It looks like a flower, son. It has petals and sometimes there is some moisture on it." Johnny pipes up with "Is this before or after sex?" "Before" responds Dad. "Well, in that case, what does it look like after sex?" Questions Johnny, persistant little fucker that he is. "Well son," says his father "have you ever seen a bulldog chew mayonnaise" TA-DAAAAAAA, Thank you very much. I'll be here all week. Try the veal.
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the dialogue in Juno was the worst part-homeskillet stuff and indeed rain wilson's entire bit bothered me.
So, what did you think the best movies of last year were Jarv? -
That joke? Classic. And an image I'll have stuck in my head all day so it's the gift that keeps on giving.And I'm choked up almost to tears over here that you feel the same way about Juno.Spazatronic, in case your trolling ways bring you back for seconds, we all understand that the sky is falling. But this is a movie site and we're movie geeks so we're obligated to call out worthless films. Besides, I'm not going to follow those clowns because in the end they'll pass the bailout plan and our children's children will still be paying it off. I don't need chimpy telling me it's in my best interests to bail out the crooks to the tune of a trillion smackers. I understand it's required to keep the system from collapsing but after Bush and McCain pushed for deregulation, it's sort of like going to an auction held by the guy who broke into my house and having to buy back all my stuff at inflated prices and all the while he's telling me, "Imagine how much better your life will be when you have your couch back."
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hmm, 2007 wasn't great so I'll have to have a think.
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at 2AM when I staggered into bed I did not feel too clever.
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Did you see Palin didn't know what the Bush Doctrine was. Not that I know, but I could have a fucking good guess. Anyway I'm not a potential president.
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got any good films lined up for the weekend?
Also, saw my second Argento film ever. Phenomena. It was straight awful. Blech! Niether Pleasance or Connelly could save that one. -
And she couldn't name one instance in McCain's 26 years in politics of when he pushed for bank regulation. McCain may be trying to play his "maverick" card and appear as if he's been trying to clean up the banks but he has done nothing but lobby for more DE-regulation while in office.And just to hear her voice and her lack of speaking skills is reason enough to want to keep her as far away as possible from the White House.
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Let's see. I plan on finishing PTU (I'm halfway through), finishing Muay Thai Chiaya (also halfway through), Sex and the City for the wife and then maybe Run Fatboy Run before the Panthers game on Sunday.And in between I'll watch a couple episodes of Galactica and Mad Men. TV has gotten so good in recent years I think I could spend months watching stuff and never put in a flick.
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Looks to be a rainy weekend here, so Im concentrating on writing. Hoping to get a handle on the script, and then maybe sketch out an idea for my entry into our writing thing.You lot are far ahead of me currently.
Tonight is free tickets to the Imax version of Eagle Eye, and the season premiere of The Office and as tomorrow constitutes my day off, I'll be finishing up your pack with Show Must Go On and Open City and I'll probably throw Jack Brooks:Monster Slayer in there(the back channels) and keep up my obsessive hunt for Good, Bad Wierd.
And I need to catch up with Leatherheads and Rogue. Doubt all of that will happen, but maybe get around to some of it. The asian horror site has been posting some compelling stuff again, so I might find myself there as well. -
as Mrs. Jarv says, she just confirms European prejudices about Americans. Jonah, Phenomena is crap, but for truly stinking you really need to hit Trauma. That's beyond shit. I've got Blade Runner this weekend. Result.
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It was rather a let down.It felt like it was barely trying. Some of the more recent chinese epics(yimou and woo excluded of course) seem like they think it's enough to throw some talented performers in armor in front of a camera and that makes it epic. I agree it's part way there, but not all. Empress wasn't devoid of some good scenes, but overall it was disappointing. Probably the most disappointing movie in the set. Still, as I often do with martial arts epics, I had fun with it, but there was no anticipation involved and no joy in the action sequences.
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After the COMPLETE failure of Phenomena, I have no interest in Argento. I saw Suspiria, and it was alright, not not a classic. I think I will be just fine never seeing another of his movies.
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I rewatched Restless with my wife, and we both had a good time with it. It was a much better second viewing for me, and the one time with these films where my mind changed pretty significantly regarding the film. It was a neat fairy tale with some beautiful scenery and great battle scenes and wife enjoyed it alot too.
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is on it's way from Netflix, so I'll be seeing that too.
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Regarding Empress and Her Warriors, it barely felt like a movie as at 90 minutes there wasn't enough time to flesh anything out. The best part of the movie was the time she spent with the guy at his hidden retreat. That felt genuine.It's actually a movie screaming to be re-made. I don't normally condone remakes and the latest Hollywood obsession of buying the rights to Asian movies to redo them bothers me but for this flick, it would be welcome. Elaborate a little more on the romance, make it even more tragic and for god's sake, since the guy is an ex-warrior of a clan that sounded like the ultimate badasses, reunite him with said clan and have them mop the floor with the opposing army. And maybe, just maybe, throw a fantasy element in there. Set it in a world of fiction with stunning environments and mythical creatures.I've never actually watched an Argento film that I'm aware of.
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there's a lot of pluses to Argento's films. Especially the likes of Mother of Tears. For a start they quite often hit so bad it's good and for a second they feature loads of gratuitous nudity (In Mother of Tears the head witch can only be defeated when she is stripped of her magic dress- I'm not joking). Lots of the time it is his daughter that gets naked as well
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which is, arguably, a classic. After that it gets harder, but avoid Trauma and Phenomena. Mrs. Jarv loves Argento (bizarrely), so I've seen more than I should have,
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that one sounds so ridiculous it would be funny, but nothing in Phenomena(save for that monkey with the scalpel!) was so bad it was good. Well, that's not true the random bits of synth music and the Iron Maiden songs during tense scenes were also humorous. But none of it was GOOD humorous. I just don't see why the guy has a serious following. I'd say a good 70% of Phenomena was completely inept on a directoral level.
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Highlights:Music - 70's vibe, awesome when they are riding!Lord Hawk's "fighting skills"...legendaryRobotic voice of the elf to "differentiate" him from the humans...classicDude without the hand who gets knife thrown at him by Voltan, and then immediately gets on a horse and rides off.good stuff...
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It's well made and somewhat unsettling, but even then, nothing suggests a master filmmaker.
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I feel like I should be watching that again, right now. During my childhood that was also one of the tapes I nearly wore out rewatching. It was so incredibly daft, and my parents felt embarrassed I liked it. I think that was truly the genesis of my bad movie love right there. When I learned ineptitude and stone-faced determination in the face of complete foolishness could be as entertaining as talent and skill and knowing artistry.
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that Republican prick Dr. Who? has just patronised me. Why are Republican's so fucking blind about this woman?
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Can't wait.
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and I'd agree that a good 99.99% of trauma was completely inept. Suspira is a totally different kettle of fish though. And I found out where the term "Giallo" comes from.
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Legolas can kiss my hairy bean sack.
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...their party would unravel. Having blinders is the only way to forgive all their contradictions and hypocrisy.Just like this evangelical Christian Coalition guy I saw interviewed this morning that was all in a rant 'n rave tizzy because Ahmedinejad has been invited by a special interest group to the US to talk. And the whole time all I could think about was why is anyone buying into this guy? His lord and savior said to love your enemy and turn the other cheek but this bozo was red with rage. Why are these nuts allowed to talk out of both sides of their mouth and get a free pass?
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...my AICN hatred is genuine. I assure you. But it stays here. I don't have much hatred in my life outside of AICN, except for the rare occasion I encounter a nasty case of constipation. That really fucking pisses me off to Shia levels.
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And Mamet is pretty much the most overrated writer since Albert Bigelow Paine. I'll pass.
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Sep 25, 2008 9:25:48 AM CDT
It's very hard to maintain the level of hatred I have on here
by lost jarv
mostly I'm just disgruntled. I've just discovered that fucking woman quotes from known Anti-semites! She just gets worse and worse.
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Gengarry Glen Ross was mamet, I think.
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I just heard about the story National Enquirer is running. Its about to drop BIG, any day now. Seems she used to nail her guy Todd's business partner in the snow-mobile rental business, back in 1996.
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Its good I suppose. I don't think he is bad. He is just grotesquely overrated. That is all.
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In a snowmobile rental shop?
I wonder if there was any snow blowing going on?
Wouldn't that be funny if they were snow blowing in a snowmobile rental shop?
The irony is overwhelming... -
Yeah Palin taking it from behind in a snow mobile shop....thats a fantasy I can get behind!!
Everyone is calling bullshit on the story, but National Enquirer has leaked a ton of factual shit lately. They claim they have a polygraph test from the guy that used to nail her. Shortly after-- Todd ended his business relationship with the guy and they went their separate ways. -
but it won't matter. McCain cannot drop her, and all she has to do is keep playing the "liberal media are picking on me because I'm a woman card, and it's all lies really". The republicans are swallowing this shit like she swallows moose jism.
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Yep, I'd probably nail it from behind as well. Just so I could grab her wittle titties and avoid looking at her pussle gut.
Also everytime I saw her on tv I could raise a beer and give toast. -
Really? Sigh. I think he has been overrated and he has also done stuff that is every bit as good as the praise it gets. It all depends. Spanish Prisoner is great.
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because that's what she'll do to the country if she ever becomes President. And, by proxy, the world. That's right, she's going to use America as a condom and use it to viciously anally pound the whole planet.
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Yes, the robotic elf was great. So was the closeup of the one handed dude with the crossbow that show a hundred red arrows in 12 seconds flat. I love the witch that helps Lord Hawk (I feel that I owe it to Hawk to call him Lord like the priest). And I laughed and cried with the 'bonding' of the "giant" and "dwarf". Touching.
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and command him to launch a giant boulder at her. Or I need a mind sword.
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do we talk about movies here anymore?
Im not happy bout this current situation or Palin for that matter, but I come here to talk about movies and not that stuff.Which is why I stay out of the political tbs. Any chance we can get back to movies here? -
Do you know where I can find a rubber with the American flag on it? I've been on the hunt for years. Always wanted a fucking a Euro chick in the ass with the stars and stripes.
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Wasn't bad at all.
Untouchables as well.
I wouldn't call him best ever, but he isn't bad.
I would swap careers with him. -
Winslow Boy? That was great.
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I never said he wasn't good. I just don't understand how he ever got the reputation as being the screenwriter of all screenwriters. His body of work is good, but its not THAT strong.
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I also declare A Few Good Men as one of my favorite courtroom movies.
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Nevermind. He's a fucking GOD!!
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I bet you can. Sorry, it's my fault I'll stop it. What has Mamet done that's really overrated? American Buffalo?
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and if you look at the state of screenwriting Danny, you can see how he got that title. His movies are always MAMET films, almost regardless of who directs them. While a good amount of mainstream stuff is usually created as a vehicle for a star, or fx or something. By default, Mamet lands at least near the top of the heap.
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...because you're not enjoying the jokes yet several others are-- we should switch the entire tone of the conversation to whatever you prefer? We never stop talking about movies. References come in and out, even if we're discussing or joking about other issues....it always comes back to movies. Sticking to lists and films 100% of the time like you would like to do is what wears our group out. Personally I come back because I found people with similar senses of humor. They feel like old friends and I know I can drop in pretty much any anecdote and most of you will get it. I don't come to talk movies 150% of the time.
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It goes from Glengarry Glenn Roos to We're no Angels to Redbelt and television's The Unit.
Wow. That is talent. -
Sep 25, 2008 10:06:17 AM CDT
I guess it is cool he is never really mainstream....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...even though it seems like he is. He has never worked on a big Hollywood summer film or anything like that. He seems to stick to what he feels comfortable with. I was trying to think of another screenwriter that is better....but I couldn't. Hehehe. Nobody has that many films under their belt. A writer will write two great films and two shit films, thats about standard. Maybe Mamet's reputation has survived for so long because of his sheer amount of work he puts in. He has a lot of fucking credits, more than any other writer I can think of.
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dont start attacking people. Everyone here is respectful of you. So dont do that. Im talking only the political stuff, you talked for hours about kathy bates vagina and I didnt say anything. Im just pointing out, there are other places for that. Hardly out of bounds for saying so.
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though is he is SPECIFIC kind of writer, so he could never really be the best. His dialogue isn't exactly real world, but stylized real world. He is very talented but it doesn't cover all the bases. From that persepctive, you are right, he isn't the quintessential writer. I just wish there were more of his caliber who were as prolific.
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What are you talking about? I didn't attack you. You took that as an attack? I'm simply pointing out it doesn't have to always be just a movie conversation on here. Any topic is fair game. No one individual really has the right to tell others which topics they can and can't bring up in this particular TB. I understand you don't like the political stuff. You don't want to get into it-- thats fine. But if there are several others discussing something that you're not comfortable with-- its not really fair for you tell them to stop just because you don't like that particular topic. Thats all.
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Sep 25, 2008 10:16:33 AM CDT
thats a good but difficult topic.....best screenwriters....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Me: "Hello, how was your day?"
Wife: "Fine, I ran into Becky today."
Me: "Oh Becky, yeah she is real nice."
Wife: "What do you mean REAL nice?"
Me: "I just mean she is really nice that's all."
Wife: "So which is it, REAL nice or just really nice."
Me: "I'm getting a beer. A REAL FUCKING NICE BEER!!!"
Car keys rattle as they are picked up, followed by doors slamming shut. -
I like Shakespeare in Love (runs away in shame)
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Breathe in. Breathe out.See? Isn't that better?Look, I had nothing to contribute to THE BATES convo, but I thought it was funny and others found it downright hilarious.The political stuff can probably be saved for political TBs. It's not like any of us are going to argue points as, far as I can tell, we're all pretty much on the same page.Back to movies, Mamet really is a strange cat. Glengarry, The Untouchables, Ronin and The Spanish Prisoner are all top notch. But then he gives us Homicide, Spartan and Hannibal and to call them garbage is an insult to garbage. He can be two different writers. Very strange cat.
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I will only say this: Talkbacks are open to anything, whether movie related or not. Sure it's a movie site, but there ain't nothing wrong with a good 'ol fashioned thread hi-jacking. See, Danny hit it on the head: there's a group of people on this site that have a common joke-a-meter, who sometimes just enjoy shooting the shit on a movie site about non-movie topics.Now, clearly you know that this little group loves the shit out of movies, but there will be times when we may divert to The Bates (shudder!) vagina, the epic power that is Warwick Davis, the power of the CoC belief system, and then random shit. And considering the current events that are transpiring, I think you can forgive someone if politics is mentioned.It's all cool here Jonah...I've now decided to start talking robotic elf at work. I've also become quite adept at firing numerous paper clips at my co-workers.
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Whether you liked the movie/adaptation or not....its a finely written script.
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is it's mostly just depressing for us. I laughed at the Bates stuff too. That's my point, it didnt bother me and it's fine. Best bit by far was the dude rolling the slimfast into the gaping maw.
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Is when he was rescuing Clarice from the the hogs and the guy in the wheelchair was yelling.
Hannibal turned and told the doctor to push the guy in and blame it on him.
Loved that part. -
my suggestion was we change the subject. Not being the TB nazi or whatever. I honestly think though that we don't have to respond in histrionics when someone suggests something like that. We are all friends so no need to get up in arms.
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And the funny thing about Untouchables is the script isn't actually very good IMO. That is one of my favorite movies because of a combination of the period, Costner, Connery, baseball bats to the skull, and the fantastic score. But the actual dialogue is pretty damn weak.
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his·tri·on·ics
Function:
noun plural but singular or plural in construction
1 : theatrical performances
2 : deliberate display of emotion for effect
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the second definition describes you to a T. But enough of all that.
Moving on. Tom Stoppard is also a particularly good writer and I always liked the work he did on Brazil. -
The real act of histrionics is you claiming I attacked or disrespected you. I was pointing out its not fair to tell people what to talk about.
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Sep 25, 2008 10:33:58 AM CDT
All the Slimfast did was buy him a few minutes Jonah
by chittychittygangbang
It only caused a slight delay, as the pink vortex absorbed the SlimFast and the mighty piss fenders slammed the empty keg into a pounded heap of steel.
The Warwicks furiously combed over it like ants, looking for an appendage that might be manipulated into ejaculation, but to no avail.
The guy climbed up a stack of dead bodies and jumped through a window, his body striking the ground with a crack, as his left femur gave way.
It was but a minor obstacle to overcome as he drug himself to his car... -
Sep 25, 2008 10:34:32 AM CDT
But do we ever get real life dialogue in movies?
by hawaiian organ donor
Seriously. Look at Pulp Fiction, Juno, Good Will Hunting, Little Miss Sunshine and Hannah and Her Sisters. Does anyone is real life talk like this? I love great witty dialogue as much as the next guy but snappy comebacks rarely come off that easy.
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It's time to let this go. Just stop.
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What was so far fetched about that? It felt like normal family conversations to me.
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call up H.R.Giger and get him do the design. Better, why not just do Bates Motel, where everyone thinks what they are checking into is one of those good time fun dives but in reality, the rumpus room is the gateway to...well, you know.
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Then again, I was expecting a funny movie. I think I laughed near one of the end parts, but that was it.
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yea, the dialogue in Allen movies and Mamet movies is the way people sometimes wish they talked. Tarantino movies is are the way people talked if our entire culture were based of b-movies.
My point is that it's hard I tihnk to call someone the greatest who doesn't have a wide range. They might be the greatest of a certain type of writer. And Mamet, well he does that potboiler heist stuff honestly better than many i have seen. -
The dialogue in The Untouchables isn't exactly a stunner. It really slams it in spots but overall it's nothing to write home about. What I do love and worship about the script is how tight it is and how everything in it is designed to move the story along at a rock solid pace. It's one of those rare scripts where I can't find one scene that feels tacked on. And that is generally Mamet's gift. He knows how to get from point A to Z without wasting the viewer's time.
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It's getting too damn cozy around here.
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One thing I always wondered is why they cast Kevin Costner's mother to play his wife.
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I didn't particularly like the movie as it didn't engage me but the dialogue just wasn't what I encountered in my family growing up.Actually, that might have to do with my family being a bunch of drunks and verbally abusive a-holes so you know what, scratch that. The dialogue was probably just fine.
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check the Z-dive mail.
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...was right on with our family arguments. I remember in the theater thinking-- fuck this feels like such a real argument I would encounter while driving out of state or something.
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...who felt his wife was horribly miscast in that movie. That has always been my only gripe with the film.The casting of Billy Drago and Charles Martin Smith more than made up for that misstep though.
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No way Jonah.
To get the experience of what you would see past The Bates' piss fenders, inner lips and piss knuckle, would take much more.
It would take a level of madness that could only be reached by doing the following:
Get a five-gallon bucket and fill it with the tabs of X you can find.
Go to nearest nut house and wait for the inmates rec room time.
Dump the bucket of X on the floor and tell them it is candy.
Wait for everything to take effect.
Ask them to paint what they saw on a giant canvas. All at once.
That may start to describe what you would see upon descent into The Bates. -
the way a disparate group of people, even within a family have to eventually find a way to communicate together, but when they aren't on the same wavelength it's terribly uncomfortable-my family had lots of moments like that one. Those bits in the van, where one is being silent for some random reason, grandpa is going off the deep end, one would like nothing better than to not even be there, and one is trying to hold the whole thing together-well, I think the reality was in that.
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All this talk of dialogue has me thinking about what my favorite film for dialogue is. I'm not sure I could ever pick an all time favorite.
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Ever see that one? One of the things I never expected to see depicted accurately on film was that mindset of the young, idealistic "born again christian" but having known alot of those guys, Faccineli's character was right on target.
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You are giving The Bussy(it needs a name right) an almost Lovecraftian mythos there. New meanings to Mountains of Madness, no>?
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I frequently call people I bump into "Home Skillet" Doesn't everyone?
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They're filming midgets!Ray, where are you going?Fuck off Ken. They're filming midgets.
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I would probably go with Eternal Sunsine. Amazing amazing script.
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I just saw it last week.
"Im not implying anythin'. Look at yee. Yous a bunch of fookin elephants." -
When Harry Met Sally
Vincent and Jules in Pulp Fiction
Good Fellas -
You know, not a bad call at all. So many of those mindwarping sci-fi films arent that way at the script level. It's the visuals and the direction and everything else. But ESOSM is the one major exception to that rule in that while the direction is also strong, the best bits of brilliance are written into the mouths of the characters. I never really paid attention to that fact before.
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It just arrived from Netflix this week and I'm anxious to watch it again. I remember Bruce's dialogue being terrific and an amazing delivery. But it's been 5 years.
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I really need to own this. Perfect example:Chlo: There's never been a classic movie made in Bruges until now.
Ray: Of course there hasn't. It's a shithole.
Chlo: Bruges is my home town, Ray.
Ray: Well, it's still a shithole.
Chlo: It's not a shithole!
Ray: What? Even midgets have to take drugs to stick it.
Chlo: Okay. So, you've insulted my home town. You were doing really well, Raymond. Why don't you tell me some Belgium jokes while you're at it?
Ray: Don't know any Belgium jokes, and if I did I think I'd have the good sense not to...hang on. Is Belgium with all those child abuse murders lately? I do know a Belgium joke. What's Belgium famous for? Chocolates and child abuse, and they only invented the chocolates to get to the kids. -
...is the only script I've ever read that actually tears me up by the end.
Clementine: Well, I came back down stairs and you were gone.
Joel: I walked out. I walked out the door.
Clementine: Why?
Joel: I don't know. I felt like a scared little kid. I was like... it was - it was above my head. I don't know.
Clementine: You were scared?
Joel: Yeah. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire trying to outrun my humiliation, I think.
Clementine: Was it something I said?
Joel: Yeah. You said "So go"... with such disdain, ya' know?
Clementine: Oh, I'm sorry.
Joel: It's ok. -
I can't wait to see that one.
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and was retarded Bruges would impress me."
Loved how he kept bringing up the fact he thought one of the Time Bandits offed themselves. -
As far as I'm concerned, that film has the best dialogue of all time. It's stupidly funny, full of great arguments ("YOU'RE OUT OF ELEMENT, DONNY!"), the rythm of the words is fantastic, and it's possibly the most endlessly quotable film ever made.Also, anything by Woody is usually pretty good. Even his shitter efforts have some decent one liners.
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Is it really any good? I've heard great things about it, but every time I see it in the local Blockbuster, I stare into the vacant eyes of that cunt Colin Farrell (on the cover, not actually in my Blockbuster) and I can't bring myself to rent it on account of he's, you know, sort of a cunt.Would this film cure me of my Colin Farrell aversion?
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Joel: Hi.
Clementine: Hi. Didn't figure you'd show your face around me again. I guess I thought you were... humiliated. You did run away, after all.
Joel: I just needed to see you.
Clementine: Yeah?
Joel: I'd like to, um... take you out, or something.
Clementine: You're married.
Joel: Not yet, not married. No, I'm not married.
Clementine: Look man, I'm telling you right off the bat, I'm high-maintainance, so... I'm not gonna tip-toe around your marriage, or whatever it is you've got goin' there. If you wanna be with me, you're with me.
Joel: Okay.
Clementine: Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.
Joel: I remember that speech really well.
Clementine: I had you pegged, didn't I?
Joel: You had the whole human race pegged.
Clementine: Hmm. Probably.
Joel: I still thought you were gonna save my life... even after that.
Clementine: Ohhh... I know.
Joel: It would be different, if we could just give it another go-round.
Clementine: Remember me. Try your best; maybe we can.
-----------------------
Joel: [in the house on the beach] I really should go! I've gotta catch my ride.
Clementine: So go.
Joel: I did. I thought maybe you were a nut... but you were exciting.
Clementine: I wish you had stayed.
Joel: I wish I had stayed to. NOW I wish I had stayed. I wish I had done a lot of things. I wish I had... I wish I had stayed. I do.
Clementine: Well I came back downstairs and you were gone!
Joel: I walked out, I walked out the door!
Clementine: Why?
Joel: I don't know. I felt like I was a scared little kid, I was like... it was above my head, I don't know.
Clementine: You were scared?
Joel: Yeah. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation.
Clementine: Was it something I said?
Joel: Yeah, you said "so go." With such disdain, you know?
Clementine: Oh, I'm sorry.
Joel: It's okay.
[Walking Out]
Clementine: Joely? What if you stayed this time?
Joel: I walked out the door. There's no memory left.
Clementine: Come back and make up a good-bye at least. Let's pretend we had one.
[Joel comes back]
Clementine: Bye Joel.
Joel: I love you...
Clementine: Meet me... in Montauk... -
It's a nicely goofy concept, and it's worth it just for Bruce Campbell's turn as Elvis, but overall I don't think it's a great film. The second half, once the novelty wore off and the story kicked in, was pretty boring, I thought.
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I typically don't like him, but I thought that he actually was good in this. Like not just tolerate him, but his performance added to the movie. And it was nice to see Brendan Gleeson in a larger role than just supporting. He's really good.
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....very cool movie. Best shit is those Elvis flashbacks of him walking in slow-mo with his wrecking crew.
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had it's script drawn largely from the short story on which it was based. Except if you think the interior Elvis monologues were raunchy in the film you should have heard the stuff he was saying in the short story. If you have access to the dvd, there's an excerpt of the author reading some of Bubba Hotep outloud and you can get a feel for it there.
Best bit in Bubba Hotep is he and Ossie Davis strolling down that hallway towards the final battle. I remember finding that bit where he salutes Davis after he died pretty touching. Y'know, that's a great little movie. -
Is fucking epic. THose desert shots of Elvis crusing down the road with the top down rock with that triumphant score. It amazes me that there is not one Elvis song in there (they couldn't afford it) but the score fills in nicely and the songs aren't even missed.
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That's the great Brian Tyler. Check out his score for Sixstring Samurai. It's really similar in style. In fact after listening to Bubba, I suspected that Tyler had done both. Good stuff.
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Sep 25, 2008 11:24:43 AM CDT
In Bruges is the cure for your anti-Farrell ailment
by hawaiian organ donor
It's a wonderful movie. He plays a character unlike what we're accustomed from him and his interactions with Ray and the midget and the tourists are pure gold.
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I'd watch a followup with that character, wouldnt you?
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Man....that dude is bad fucking ass. Those eyebrows could crush any of you!! -
for ESOSM makes me think I'm gonna need to watch it this weekend.
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I think it's largely that for some years there his off screen persona was far more prevalent than his work, and when he did show up-the stuff he was in only accentuated the off screen persona.
Have you seen In Bruges, Danny? -
is the author of Bubbahotep. His other work is similarly witty and wierd and over the top. He wrote the story that was the basis for that MOH ep "Incident on and off a Mountain Road." Here's his wiki:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_R._Lansdale -
Its on my queue. I've never really NOT liked Collin in a movie. I think he is a charming fellow....and oddly humorous.
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Sep 25, 2008 11:32:30 AM CDT
yeah....ESOSM is amazing. AMAZING I TELL YOU!!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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is a great place to start, if you want to pick up one of Landsdale's novels.
Jarv, did you ever get to post your idea? -
it very could be Collin Farell.
Dude drinks, smokes and fucks all the time.
Hot chicks too.
What a life.
I have nothing but respect for the guy. -
Also, because one day the world was entirely devoid of Colin Farrell, then we all awoke to find ourselves living in a confusing new world where Colin Farrell was the lead in everything.Where did he come from?Still, I might give In Bruges a go. Brendon Gleeson's usually pretty good, and not much of a cunt.
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I read in interview with him talking about his gay brother getting married and how he was paying for the wedding and he wanted him to have a massive, beautiful wedding-- and Collin was the best man.
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Basic training scenes in Full Metal Jacket were classic.
It's all we quoted for about two weeks after the movie.
"Private Pyle! I bet your ass looks like 60 pounds of chewed bubble gum!" -
and directly when it was over, because we were the only other couple in the theater, a man and his wife came up to us and wanted to know why it wasnt funnier. They wanted more Jim Carrey comedy. We walked away.
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He's not really the lead in that many big films if you think about it.
Did you see him in Minority Report? I like that role for him. -
that's wierd, your headline and then the bit about Colin covering the expenses for his bro's wedding(a cool thing to do) didnt seem to match.
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and Farrell was perfect in that role.
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No...not really. It was just odd chance. I saw it in the theater with my girlfriend of 5 years at the time. We were already broken up, but it was one of those weird "Let's just hang out tonight....." moments. Anyway we barely spoke that night. I cried during the film and it was silent the entire drive home. That was the last night I saw her.
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because he took a character that was completely a stock character and made him charismatic and a great foil for Cruise. In fact, if I had been Speilberg, I'd have been tempted to allow the character to stay around longer, once I saw how Farrell was playing him.
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This illness, which is really more of a psychological disorder, is called DDWRS, more lengthily know as Delayed Donnie Wahlberg Recognition Syndrome. My doctors assure me it is on the increase world-wide.The primary symptom of DDWRS is watching a film and not realising Donnie Wahlberg is one of the actors until at least half an hour into it. The Sixth Sense, Annapolis, Dreamcatcher, that Saw he was in - it's always the same. I'm watching this guy onscreen and getting no recognition at all until - BAM! - I realise it's that guy out of New Kids On The Block.Does anyone else suffer from this not-particularly-debilitating condition? If so, let me know. I may start some sort of support group.
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about Danny's headline and then the story.
Not that there's anything wrong with that... -
Maybe it was a subconscious choice of words. Like I realize a great way to pick up on women is to say, "My brother is gay and I fully support him......"
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which wasnt a great movie, but I saw him in that, and that character was absolutely nothing like the Farrell roles that followed. When I saw it, I thought "this guy is going to get popular pretty quickly". Happened alot faster than I suspected though. He literally was suddenly in everything.
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It's definately our crappy server. It's a good idea- mostly cribbed from Phillip K. Dick, Aldous Huxley, and others with a dash of Kafka. I'm not posting it here, though.
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in A New World. I was honestly surprised he pulled it off.
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He was one of the kidnappers.
I think he has the ability to shape-shift.
He could have been working in my office for two years and all of the sudden, I would be "Whoa! Donny I didn't know you worked here." -
Yeah he was. That movie was a little lacking. Without him...it would have been absolute rubbish. As usual Christian Bale was boring as fuck to look at.
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yea, don't do that. We can figure something else out for ya. Maybe we can work out an across email thing for you.
Are you interested in the monster story stuff? -
He can't help himself. Just Jessica Alba can't help appearing sweet but sort of dim in all her roles, Colin Farrell can't help appearing to be cunt.Maybe he's a nice guy in real life, I don't know, but he does have this weird acting quirk of appearing to be a cunt.Minority Report - Cunt who hates Tom CruisePhone Booth - Cunt in a confined spaceThe Recruit - Just a cuntDaredevil - Cunt who throws shitSWAT - Pretty much the same cunt as The RecruitAlexander - Historical cuntMiami Vice - Don Johnson-ish cuntThese are not my words. I have copied and pasted these listings directly from that IMDB.
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The trailer looked great.
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There is absolutely nothing wrong with a cunt in a confined space. I actually prefer it.
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My DDWRS must have been really acting up when I saw that one.
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It felt very slight, despite the fact I loved Thin Red Line and Badlands and Days of Heaven is one of my all time faves. Granted, we saw it right after a friend's funeral(not directly after)so we probably weren't in the mood for anything like that anyway.
It seemed a little tooo poetic and disconnected. And normally I love that stuff. Still, it was good. -
I think the single biggest problem with New World was the fact that Pocahontas wasn't likable enough. I just didn't like character or the girl that played her.
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Cunt should roam free with the wind in its hair.Man, I think this is the most I have ever typed the word cunt in one day.CUNT!
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It's a real phenomena. The New Kids didnt even realize until they had broken up that the guy in the band was Donnie Wahlberg.
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is now when you use that word, and talked about it roaming free with the wind in it's hair, I just picture Colin Farrell now.
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I don't get that guy.His films are like someone challenged themself to make something more boring and emotionally disconnected than Stanley Kubrick.
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...looks like-- roaming free with the wind it's hair!! I like to imagine it grazing across those beautiful green hills of Naboo in Episode I. Every once in awhile it would let out this alarming howl reminiscent of the demon spirits in Ghost.
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as much. For one thing,its also only 94 minutes long. After that Malick seemed to think that length was also a sign of importance or quality.
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Never compare the genius work of Malick to the cold plastic shit of Stanley Kubrick.
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I tend to think it probably hides in caves and swampy marshes. But to each his own.
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I also like the cunt tight and attached to a twenty-something-year-old with double D tits.
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I agree length is a sign of importance. Women treat me like the Prince of Jordan when I roll out my meat.
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No Spartacus? No 2001? No Shining? No Dr. Strangelove?
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He's a cunt. Phone Booth- cunt on blower, Daredevil- smelly cunt with anger problems, etcI'll get it sorted, Jonah, I know what needs to be done (it relates to the stupid quota time thing) and as soon as I reach the end of this pile of data misery I'll do it. I can't enter the monster thing, as I don't have anything remotely fitting and think I lack time to produce owt worthwhile at the moment- that's longer than an idea to be worked on later.
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A landing strip at the very least.I find it very troubling, this twenty-first century fascination with shaved women. It is weird. I do not want either a prepubescent girl or a plastic doll. I want a woman with a luxurious ladygarden and the slight taste of pee!That is the natural order of things.
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Sep 25, 2008 12:00:46 PM CDT
I'm kidding. I like a lot of Kubrick. But not all.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
For me its like this: GOOD: Eyes Wide Shut, The Shining, 2001, Spartacus (his best)
RUBBISH: Clockwork Orange, Dr. Strangelove (I've seen it twice, didn't laugh once), Full Metal Jacket (I don't find boot camp amusing)
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It was one of those long stretches of driving that you have to take a break.
I pulled over to the side of the road and got out and sat on the warm hood of the car and lit a smoke.
Lo and behold! There was a great grassy land with free-range cunt roaming in herds!
I stripped down naked and ran out there (imagine Dances with Wolves, but replace the buffalo with nice natural cunt), herding up some back to my car.
I stump-broke a dozen or so and got tired.
So I smoked another cig, took a shot of whiskey and fucked the last two.
I got back in the car, reclined the seat a little and smiled as the highway unfolded before me. -
Thanks, mate. With today's Farrell love-in and the other day's Martin fucking Lawrence defenders, I was starting to lose it.You guys are all nice folks and whatnot, but some of you guys have the weirdest taste. Colin Farrell, indeed. He is a cunt.
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Give me some damn hair. Razor bumps/burns/5 o'clock pussy shadow disgusts me. I don't want a female to look and feel like she's 10. I want a WOMAN!!
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is currently serving time for ABH. He'll be released eventually, but may well be an ex-cunt by then. He's a dirty junky cunt as well.
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I just liked the shaved, so I could lean back and watch my cock go in and out better.
Maybe that's just me.
(I also had to put that in past tense, in case someone thought I was an adulterererer) -
I think you should check out Landsdale. His absurd home-spun but often raunchy humor would no doubt amuse you, and probably give you some ideas on how you could take that warped sense of humor you have (not meant as a knock) and translate it into something marketable.
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....has always been Immanuel Cunt. That's for sure.
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If you catch that cunt with a five'oclock shadow...Damn!
It's like fucking an angry porcupine from behind.
So I've heard of course.
B -
I think that's why I've never been keen on guys like Terrence Malick and Stanley Kubrick - too director-y, if that makes any sense. Brian De Palma can probably go on the pile with those two, too.I like writing, and I like acting, but directing as an art-form doesn't interest me much at all.Also, the auteur theory is bullshit. Discuss if you like.
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there are directors and directors, For example, PWSA could take a script written by Shakespeare himself and ruin it. A good director makes the most out of shite material. There is a difference.
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wasn't a cunt, but that was used to effect in MR and it is used to great effect in In Bruges. His character is almost a self-proclaimed cunt. I just think that there is more to Colin than being a cunt, at least when it comes to acting.
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Sep 25, 2008 12:12:39 PM CDT
what about that Home At The End of the World?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Anyone see that?
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Sep 25, 2008 12:17:03 PM CDT
A great director can add something to a good script
by franklin t marmoset
And a bad director can fuck a good script up, but no director on earth can make a decent film with a shitty script. The goal of any half-decent director, it seems to me, is to not fuck things up.The auteur theory bugs me because it seems enormously disrespectful to the many people who COLLABORATE on a film to ascribe authorship to one person, especially when that one person didn't even write the fucking screenplay.
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Take a baby step to embrace the cunt Frankie. I assure you, this movie is worth a look. I'll put our Transatlantic Movie Exchange Program on the line with this recommendation.
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because Kubrick never read the end of the book. FMJ is great, and Strangelove is classic. Sellers mad Nazi scientist slays me. Eyes wide shit on the other hand is well, just that.
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positive. I'll think of one for tomorrow. All this talk of cunts is disturbing. I don't want to give Farrell a hug, because he looks like a smelly cunt, thanks all the same pillows.
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And the end result is Alien 3, one of the most beautifully polished turds in the history of cinema.Still a turd, though.
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This is one kooky website.
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Sep 25, 2008 12:20:25 PM CDT
eeeesh....Alien 3 shall always be me favorite says I.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Okay, I am officially going to give In Bruges a go.I've hardly seen any films for the past month or so, so I'm ready to give some stuff a try.Any other recommendations?
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You are giving too much credit to the writer. Look at the history of Equus- arguably England's greatest play of the 20th century- it's England's most performed play every year. Dexter the director took Shaffer's original work and literally told him what to do to make it good. He did so much on it that he tried to sue Shaffer for writing credit. The point I'm making is that writing is also collaborative to some extent, and the best directors often are involved in the creative process. And that was a good use of my MA. Finally. That's only been 10 years.
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I don't think I like you any more.Alien 3 is your favourite? I get that some people have embraced Alien 3 in what I can only imagine is an expression of something similar to 'underdog shopping', but your favourite? Better than Aliens? Better than Alien?Fuck me.
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that up. Alien 3 is not a turd. Alien 3 is very, very underrated and is in fact excellent.
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Sep 25, 2008 12:26:13 PM CDT
you can't really judge anyone's contributions....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...to a film unless you were there. There are tales of director's doing absolutely nothing (Ron Howard on Willow) and exec. producers running the entire show. And there are tales of the people winning Oscars for a screenplay that is absolutely nothing like the script they originally turned in. It can be heavily re-written by a director and not credited as such due to some bullshit WGA rule. So unless you are involved....you just don't know.
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One director helped re-write one film/play, and that's your proof?Is your logic that if it happened on Equus, it probably happened on, um, everything else?Come on, Jarv.
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Aliens is also better than Alien 3. But I will not see it maligned.
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It's like being an environmentalist, except different. A cuntologist if you will.I got nothing else for ya right now Frankie. I do have Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance coming next, which I'm quite happy about.
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Just as it was getting interesting.Oh, well, maybe I can catch up tomorrow.In the meantime, my thought for the day is "Fuck directors!" They are over-rated and their job is over-sold. Most of them are hacks. Hacks, I tell you! Also, cunts.
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that's an example. I can find others. I'm not saying it happens every time, but it does happen. The point being that directors don't just place a few cameras then shout "action" while the magic happens elsewhere. It's a group effort.
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Sep 25, 2008 12:29:27 PM CDT
Franklin....absolutely my favorite of the bunch...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Alien 3 is powerful shit man. Aliens is just shit. And Alien is an absolute classic, but for me it just doesn't have the epic scope of Alien 3. The photography and score for 3 are fucking brilliant. The best itself never looked better. Sigourney is Ripley by part 3. There is none of this fake surrogate mother horse shit. No Bill Paxton jokes. Its just hardcore, epic film. First time feature director Fincher got everything right. -
is better than the first two.I still have yet to watch the third one since I got the triple pack. I'll have to remedy that at some point to truly weigh in on it again. I just remember it being okay, nothing more.
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the same paragraph, let alone a sentence. Unless The Bates' vagina is within that same paragraph or sentence that is.
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And Equus isn't just one play/ film it's hugely fucking important. But that's neither here nor there. As much as directors are overrated (and there's no denying it), they aren't merely place holders like you seem to be making out,
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the Alien films.
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Have a good evening.
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Right?
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Sep 25, 2008 12:36:17 PM CDT
pillow...he meant to say just better than Aliens...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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I've debated Aliens with Danny before, so sarcasm is the only gun I'll fire this time.
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I think there is actual merit to all the Alien film. Alien and Aliens are pretty mch side by side to me, with the first being slightly better. The third one, the DC anyway, is next and Aliens Resurrection os a fun B-movie.
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...did you ever see the bit on the Alien 3 quadrilogy documentary where they are talking about the earlier versions of 3 and one of the writer/directors previously attached talks about his wooden church planet thing?
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The screenplay by Ward and co-writer John Fasano had Ripley's escape pod crash landing on a monastery-like, wooden planet. The Alien³ special features disc also explains how they would come about creating the story for a wooden planet. However, the inhabitants of this planet would view the arrival of Ripley as that of a religious trial from their "god." By having a woman on their monastery planetoid, their trial would be one of sexual temptation. To avoid this, the Monks of the wooden planet would later lock Ripley into a dungeon-like sewer. The early draft, which featured the Alien creature coming with Ripley, had the wooden planet Monks believing that the Alien was in fact the Devil. There are scenes and illustrations featured on this disc that show the "Wooden Planet." Aspects of the monastery/Monks of the early draft were later utilized in the final production of the film by having the male inmates participating in the religion shown. The screenplay featured a vast number of scenes set in different locations on the wooden planetoid, ranging from an internal 5 mile wide sea to wheatfields on its surface. Ward's intended version of the film proved hugely problematic, opposed by the studio who hired Greg Pruss and later Larry Ferguson for further rewrites, and eventually Ward left the film in frustration.
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...after Danny's revelation so I'm just going to disappear. In fact, I may not stop sobbing until sometime over the weekend so it's likely I won't be able to re-surface until next week.Besides, all this slander of directors has me too confused to type.
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Ingmar Bergman or Michelangelo Antonioni? Discuss
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on the doc-- they show some conceptual art they came up with. It looked amazing. To have Ripley battling the alien in a completely primitive locaton with no weapons or technology of any kind. They said the climax was in a wheat field (the monks grow their own food) that gets lit on fire, and it just Ripley and the alien surrounded by flames. Insane visuals. -
Antonioni. I'm a tit man...and he had the nicer set.
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I don't remember getting drunk and revealing I'm gay.
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So was it just built of lincoln logs?And your hate for Aliens is just pure craziness. Craziness. I mean, look what you just did to Hawaiian? For shame Danny. For. Shame.
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We all just assumed.
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It's okay, go with your gut feeling. No need to go with everyone else.Danny is right, Michelangelo is the way to go.
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....Paul Reiser wasn't in it, the sets didn't look like plastic, everything wasn't blue, Newt didn't exist, the alien design didn't look like shit, the rear projection didn't look like effects from 1964, and the movie didn't start getting good until the last 20 minutes. If Jim Cameron remedies these few problems on a special special edition DVD. I'm in!!
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the director of Navigator and What Dreams May Come.
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Sep 25, 2008 1:02:07 PM CDT
found the script for it......if anyone is interested...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
http://tinyurl.com/4wjg6s
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The next draft was done by Eric Red, writer of the cult horror films The Hitcher and Near Dark, and opened with a team of Special Forces marines boarding the Sulaco unarmed and finding that all the survivors of the LV-426 mission had fallen victim to the aliens. The only reference to the first two movies being a torn spacesuit nametag that is found containing the name "Ripley". The screenplay in a sense was even bolder than the Gibson script, in that it took place in an entire small-town USA city in a type of bio-dome in space. Red's screenplay resurrected the idea of aliens transforming humans into cocoons that was deleted from the original film. The screenplay's brash storyline culminates in an all out battle with the townsfolk facing hordes of (fifteen foot) alien warriors, yet it also contains an arguably higher level of horror (Lovecraftian and Body) than the previous movies and screenplays. In addition to this, it is the first screenplay in the Aliens genre to feature a genetically mixed Alien-Human creature in antibiosis (foreshadowing the "newborn" in Alien: Resurrection). The screenplay also re-uses the "alien virus" idea from Gibson's draft, which this time gives rise to Alien mosquitoes, cattle, dogs and chickens and has even gained the ability to infect matter and technology as well, resulting in the space station itself being transformed into a giant alien-like creature. After being shown Red's screenplay, then-director Renny Harlin walked out on the project to direct Die Hard 2, and Red was fired shortly afterwards. It was at this point that Giler and Hill abandoned their plans for the two Alien sequels.
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would have been so freakin wierd, but I would have watched it. Poor Ward was attached to alot of sequels and got to make none of them. The saddest part was Neverending Story 3 which he would have knocked out of the park. Looking at what we got, that's what makes me wanna cry.
Danny, you sure have managed to strike off powder keg after powder keg today. I have long since reconciled Danny's Alien movie tendencies.
The director issue could be debated forever, but you know, directors do matter. Maybe not in every case, but it does matter. So does the script. One of the best examples was actually brought to light earlier by HOD and Danny.
Untouchables. It has a serviceable script and when married to what Depalma did, it worked. However, take one of those away and you would have had a far less superior film. A more fleshed out and accomplished script would have stranded Depalma and prevented him from going all out with his style.
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De Palma worked well with the material because it was simple, and it afforded him the chance to showcase his great set pieces.
Its odd how passionate people are about Aliens to me. Okay....you like it-- I get it. But people act like its their damn Bible, just because its James Cameron. How did that guy get the entire planet to collectively suck his cock? -
Years ago I read Gibson's script. Hicks was entirely the main character. I wonder what it would have done for Biehn's career.
Eric Red. There is a topic unto itself. Do you guys know the lowdown on him? -
....Poltergeist. By most accounts...Tobe Hooper ran around looking like he was gonna cry the entire time. I heard this from a special effects technician first hand. He said the exact thing Zelda said in an interview awhile back that Tobe never once spoke to the crew and people barely saw him. Spielberg was the one directing the actors and he was the guy everyone saw running the show. I'm just trying to further prove my point-- you have no idea who contributed what unless you were there. Sure-- some directors can wrongly receive all the credit for a film's success, when it was actually somebody else's doing. On the flip side-- a director could also get all the shit for a film's failure when he was never allowed to do what he wanted and the producer's dictated his every move the entire production, yet he is left with the blame and his career is ruined because of it. You just don't know the scenario. -
...is just fascinating to me. It allows the chance for some amazing visuals. Could have been a very beautiful film I think.
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I think it's your strong stance towards things that obviously brings out other strong stances. You don't say "I preferred Alien" you called Aliens s--t. So people are responding to the extreme statements.
Cameron has everyone behind him because he makes movies that are both financially successful and critically well recieved and at the times of their release they are usually ground breaking for showing people things they havent seen,which despite all the pretentious talk from auteurs over the years, is the main reason people go to the movies. -
Eric Red.Pure crazy:
http://www.laweekly.com/2006-01-12/news/death-race-2000/ -
is that he really isnt all that. I think Aliens is his best movie. Im just saying, thats why people love him. I think he is overrated, and I fear he is going to let us down with Avatar, but for now Im keeping the faith. He can give us great images, but isnt as strong with story I think.
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It would have been very distinctive, and it would have been preferrable to the dreary pallete of the third film we got.
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had his career ruined by LXG over a similar situation I think Danny.
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It's very simple on how Cameron got the ENTIRE planet to suck his cock.
He gave fanboys loads (no pun intended) of good sci-fi that combined action and great effects.
So one afternoon, as a very excited guy was bobbing on his cock like the Roadrunner on birdfood, he thought "Enough of this mouth is a mouth shit."
So he decided to go after all the females to suck his cock.
So he drew up Titanic.
Now he has both sexes after a nibble on his cack. -
Sep 25, 2008 1:28:00 PM CDT
Still reading....Chitty....read the link Jonah posted...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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“the SOUND of the DEAFENING REVVING ROARS of the ENGINES and the SMASHING of METAL against FLESH and BONE.”
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strays from science fiction that I feel the strain. To me Titanic and True Lies are his weakest films(though they are still well made and entertaining).
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...got my balls twitching. I like Norrington. He needs to do something.
And the only Cameron film I actually like is Abyss. I still think its boring as shit. But it goes in my boring but good category. Everything else is crap. True Lies is probably the least fun movie Arnold has ever made. -
I don't think the Terminator films are bad. They are entertaining. I just would never watch them again for any reason. They are okay....but like on par with Renny Harlin's work. I get the fanboy love for Cameron in this respect. I just don't know how that translated into people thinking he is a seriously talented story teller.
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as you often say in defense of some of the purely popcorn films you enjoy, there is more to gain from a film experience than just the story. And I think people recognize that with Cameron.
BUT, when Titanic did come out, he started getting this rep for being a great storyteller, but then Lucas had that rep until the prequels were released. Niether of those guys is good at making up the story, but it's how they tell the story.
For example, most people telling that arcane stuff Chitty writes would make me want to vomit, but I'm never anything but amused when he's doing it. -
tried to take too much responsibility for telling the story, and he missed the magic he had conjured that first go round.
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....doesn't make me want to vomit until I start trying to imagine the scent. So while you read the story if you continue to imagine fresh chocolate chip cookie scent.....you're just fine. -
Thanks for the link Jonah.
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I've given this a lot of thought. A LOT OF THOUGHT. And finally-- I've decided to go with Antonioni. First, he's Italian. Known for their sexual exploits. Second, he doesn't really have the religious guilt/baggage that Bergman has. And his tits, dear god, his tits.
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And it drives me to involutary dry heaves.
For some reason I think of cheap, canned cat food and shitty daipers left in the sun mixed together.
The reason I gave that description is because that is the smell of the bag of garbage that wouldn't fit in the trashcan, so I had to leave it out for a day until the garbage collection came.
It was bad. -
did you read the part where rutger hauer says "I dont think eric knows what he wrote."
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Your "welcome kit" will be in the mail: How to starve yourself the Italian way.
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Sep 25, 2008 2:07:05 PM CDT
That whole story played out like a Lifetime movie
by chittychittygangbang
That was some crazy shit.
I mean batshit insane stuff. Red comes off pretty shady in the article, and the reporter gave an even account from both sides. -
I'm pissed that he hasn't gotten another chance. Blade is probably one of my favorite movies ever and one of the better made comic book films. It was note perfect. And LXG, I'm sorry, is not nearly as bad as people remember. Give this guy another shot dammit!
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...Cameron will never top The Abyss.I will never understand the hate for Titanic. If anyone should hate this film it's me as it should never have won the Award over L.A. Confidential which is borderline all time top ten for me, but it's a damn fine piece of cinema.And I haven't cried this long in years. That DGBD is a heartbreaker.
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Count me out!
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...if it makes you feel fraternity like. I'm willing to do that.
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Connery never kicked more ass. Its just a fun adventure film. And Hyde practical effects-- KICK ASS!
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try as I might, I can't see George as the masked man. I'm sure it will go to someone else. Then again, I thought we were beyond casting Depp as Tonto, but I guess not.
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Newt from Aliens....
http://tinyurl.com/5xla8t -
...he probably forgets what it feels like to be involved in a movie that actually made money.
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and remained a normal person. Good for her.
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Sep 25, 2008 3:12:09 PM CDT
Should There Be A ‘Joker’ Spin-Off Film? Brett Ratner Thinks So.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
from MTV news....
There can never be too much Batman -– which is why Brett Ratner proposes, once Christopher Nolan’s take on the Caped Crusader runs his course, that there be a few spin-off films.
“As a kid, Batman was my thing,” Ratner said. “I’m a little jealous that I didn’t get to direct it, although Nolan did a great job. But there are so many characters in the Batman series, so many characters that I love, that the opportunities for spin-offs are endless.”
Ratner thinks that the first one should be a film just about the Joker, exploring his (possible) origin as the Red Hood. “That would be really cool,” he said. But don’t we then run into the not-so-little problem of who could possibly fill Heath Ledger’s shoes?
“Heath was great,” Ratner said. “But the Joker is a great villain. That’s why Jack Nicholson and Heath Ledger had so much to work with. And I think there will be another actor who can interpret that. It would be great to see [Robert] Downey [Jr.] as the Joker, for instance.”
Ratner doesn’t want to stop there. If the opportunities for spin-offs in the Batman universe are endless, what about the rest of comic-book-dom? For the “X-Men,” for instance, Ratner is excited about the upcoming Wolverine spin-off, but he thinks one is warranted for Halle Berry’s character, Storm, as well. “That would be great,” he said. “That would be really cool.”
Spin-offs and team-ups like “The Justice League” are the way to sustain the franchises, he said, so that minor characters can be more developed.
“You’re going to be seeing superhero movies for 50 years,” he predicted. “And it’ll be exciting to see a lot of the under-the-radar franchises like ‘Iron Man’ that could be incredible on the big screen.”
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You will mostly fail this midterm. Mostly.
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Some of you are enterting puberty soon, and will mostly come at night. Mostly.
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I love the smell of dick blood in the morning, so bring it on. What movie is it where one of the characters waxes poetic about how the lone ranger wasn't really lone? Looks like they are going to play up the silly side with their casting, sounds like fun. . Please god don't let there be comic book movies for 50 years, especially if they're directed by ratner. Count me sick of all these comics.
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I was able to watch the whole thing on youtube
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wrong place.
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Sep 25, 2008 4:00:46 PM CDT
how the hell did we used to get 1,000 posts....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....in the past 24 hours? It seems so impossible now.
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Sep 25, 2008 4:08:54 PM CDT
"Running with sharp sticks good idea?" Ratner thinks so
by chittychittygangbang
Just saying...
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Now it seems like we have just a few regulars.
It used to be an full orgy of typing, now it's just more than a menage... -
....once the economy starts improving we will be a great nation once again!!
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I remember on the movie Airheads, the name of the band was called The Lone Rangers.
Everyone was giving them shit about it.
Another funny part was when their list of demands included a copy of Moby Dick.
The cop asked the book or the movie and Steve Buscemi asked "They made a book out of that?"
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I can't wait for us to be a great nation again.
I am feeling so stressed right now.
I wish America hadn't won that war on drugs, because I sure could use a joint right now.
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...that is honestly Adam Sandler's finest work.
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....does Kathy Bates' pussy have its own anus? Is it a self contained creature on its own now? If it can consume, then it must certainly shit. And if it can shit....then we can kill it. -
When Fraser said he was going to lock it up tighter than a dolphin's ass..and Sandler piped in.."That's water tight."
Shit that movie had some hilarious moments. -
Chazz: Who'd win in a wrestling match, Lemmy (from Motorhead) or God?
Chris Moore: Lemmy.
[Rex imitates a game show buzzer]
Chris Moore: ... God?
Rex: Wrong, dickhead, trick question. Lemmy IS God.
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Chazz: Okay, lemme ask you a question: who's side did you take in the big David Lee Roth-Van Halen split?
Chris Moore: What?
Marcus: What kind of question is that?
Chazz: Who's side did you take: Halen or Roth?
Chris Moore: ...Van Halen
Ian: HE'S A COP!
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If it does eat mostly grown men to extract their jizz, then the leftovers could be consumed to completely that they are flushed out of the piss knuckle, as it has a diameter of a pie plate.
So anything not completely dissolved could be bumped out of it with a little effort.
I am thinking the only turd it even gave birth to is Kathy Bates, who first came as a turd, but after processing so much human DNA (remember, The Bates' cunt also consumes some women to extract delicious female ejacta) that a living turd was born.
The woman we see today is actually a living, breathing evolution of advanced fecal matter.
So yes, it has an anus. But it is a base mount for the disquise to attract prey.
Sort of like the flashy thing the Moorwen has. -
well, you're on the radio now, what do you have to say? ROCK AND ROLL!!!
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I think it was David Arquette saying something about the Clydesdale Scale?
I think that was one of his best performances as well. -
AND TO ALL A GOOD NITE!!
LONG LIVE AIRHEADS.....AND LONG LIVE ERIC RED!!! -
Aliens is not shit.The Abyss is not boring.Alien 3 looks nice and kind of works until Charles Dance gets offed and then it turns into a bunch of largely nameless, swearing bald people running around - no tension, no excitement. And if you want to talk shit FX... Oooh, how believable is that scene where they're winching the shuttle up against a crappy backdrop with 'debris' blowing past? I also give you Ripley falling into a vat of molten whatever as a finale. In a state of repose. Even with an alien blasting through her chest. What is she, some kind of superwoman who can withstand chestbursters, who, by the way, shred your internal organs on their way out? And she not only remains in total peace but is able to hold on to the little bastard? Get the fuck out of here.Elliot Goldenthal's score, however, is mint.Alien 3 pisses all over that joke of a fourth movie directed by the French bloke.Alien is the Number 1.
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Danny asked why it is so hard to post 1000 when we used to regularly hit 2k and even 4500 at one time. The answer is very simple: We lost the initial movie loving passion that fueled those explosive, entertaining, and seemingly self-supporting TB's. It started with B movie love, and went off on tangents. The lists were ok, and coming up with topics were fun. But it was the shared love and discussion of B movies and the occasional; A movie that made these TB's go. It also sparked evening and weekend posting which further pushed our totals. We had 'shifts' of people who loved to contribute and keep us at No. 1. We went off on tangents, but quickly came back to the original reason for convening: B movie love. When topics such as yesterdays' The Bates happen - which was very funny, but lets face it, was for the most part limited to Chitty and Danny trying to one-up the other - I chipped in a little, as did Pillow, but it keeps the regulars away. I am not criticizing either Chitty or Danny, but it is clear that when we go so far off the reservation, we lose our way. If it was just one day, then no biggie, but because it has happened several times in the past few weeks, the results speak for themselves - limited posts with fewer and fewer of our regulars feeling the need or ability to contribute. May be it is just the natural course of things; and we are supposed to just dwindle, but I think we can get our groove back by dialing back on the frequency -or at least duration of the more outrageous posts. Perhaps some of you can use zhura to continue those types of posts when they have gone on for too long here. Look, we all like to have fun and be outrageous from time to time and these boards are an outlet from daily drudgery. We have found a group of kindred spirits - some a little more eccentric, iconoclastic, and mentally motarded than others. In short, we have become friends. But lets not forget what brought us together in such friendship. Lets not forget that we are at our best when all of us participate in the discussions. Jonah, you over-reacted to Danny today, and Danny - well you are just Danny -and you always over-react. Still, what both of you said was needed. Last thing: Where the hell is Fred?
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I forgot that movie.
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We're struggling to maintain our old numbers. We miss you guys and gal. Please come back!Just had a fight with the wife and now I feel like a shitheel. Best go apologize.
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Admit nothing, deny everything, Demand Proof.
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What's up hoss, been awhile. Back at school?
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If you've noticed all the push for the movie Sex Drive around this site the directors first movie nbt was kind of mentioned. I saw it last night and it was funny as hell. Top five mockumentarys. If you love the Christopher Guest stuff you'll love this movie. Unlike Guest stuff were a lot of it is just giggle funny and funny way after, there were a couple of laugh out loud moments during nbt. Check it out. Also anyone catch the Croc movie Rogue?
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Fred, Series, Mavra and Kungfu we are usually the late night clean up crew. I'm here but where's everyone else?
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Starring at my Alien Quadilogy set displayed on top of my TV for some reason? And thinking how I need to sit down and just go through it. I got SOOO many fucking movies I need to watch.
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Was remade by the same guy who made the original? Crazy, I need to fucking see that original, they took it off of the netflicks.
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again. Alien 3 is not drab, dull etc. It's just plain good. The script contains the best lines of any in the series, the acting (especially weaver, and dutton) is fantastic and the Bambi moment is worth the price alone. However, I will give you that the assembly cut pisses all over the theatrical version, so when I talk about Alien 3 it is this one I refer to. Firstly, lets put this wood planet shit to bed once and for all. It was a crap idea- Alien as a series is rammed full of believable sci-fi and the wood planet the size of a beachball with neo-luddite monks is not. Anyway, I don't know why so many of you bitch about this- fuck loads of the wood planet idea made it. Those prisoners are monks of a kind, ripley is infected etc. Although I also loved the corn-field sequence and feel sad that we'll never see it. Right, next- the colour palette. Each Alien film is visually distinctive and the palette always suits the subject matter. Alien 3 is bleak- by far the bleakest of the series and the visuals complement this. You can almost smell the rust in the place. I love them running down the corridor being chased by the beast. I think that's an exciting scene. However, there is no doubt that Alien 3 was fucked by the studio. It should have been the best of the series, all the elemnets are there, but it is only 3rd in the series. It is certainly the last "proper" Alien film we will ever get (as Jonah said, resurrection is little more than a fun B-movie).
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as a group, we've always been fragmented. We post at work, and we cover a lot of topics. We pick subjects that are neglected and go off on various tangents. 1000 posts is a huge amount, and we always pass at least 1500. Without really trying. One of the outstanding features of our little group is that we all have lives outside of AICN, we all have other interests, so our appearances here are limited by outside forces. Fred, Marva etc will reappear, but Danny, Pillows, whoever may be gone. There is always at least 5 of us on the changian TB, and we always stay top of the table for each TB until it becomes unweildy. I don't think there has ever been one occasion with all of us posting at the same time. On a personal note, I find it a surprising pleasure to contribute with everyone here- there's very little vitriol. We may argue, but it's good natured, and as our interests are very similar, but we all have different levels of knowledge so it's just great fun. Can I have some Cuddles now?
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Fucking hell. Cameron and Avatar represent the best hope for next summer. I totally disagree with Danny about Aliens- although it is probably my least favourite Alien design. Alilens is fucking good. Full stop. However, Titanic is an unforgivably awful piece of shit that is so horrendous it makes me want to tear my eyes out. I fucking despise it on pretty much every level- from the horrible hokey love story they pinned a FUCKING ship crash on, to the revolting sympathy grabbing coda and the complete failure of acting from every cast member involved. It's shite and the fact that it is the highest grossing film in history makes me sad. It's also overlong, pathetic, tedious, badly scripted, has that fucking rotten Celine Dion trash all over it. It's unspeakable dreck and certainly makes my top 10 most hated movies.
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laughing my ass off. the nixon defense got me through boarding school and life in general in ipswich. 'i saw you do it' 'look mate, i don't know what to tell you'
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i come from ispwich. i hate people form north queensland. i FUCKING hate mexicans (nsw my gf is making me go there this weekend. the longest i ever went there was for training, they made me) you go further south and i don't even know what to say to them victorians? fuckem. i CERTAINLY have no time for englishmen, and expect the same in return. gruding respect is the best you'll get out of me. and you all have it. but still. fuck you.
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i'm sorry. i know you english are thin skinned (like women) i'm sorry mate
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That was in the theater when it came out, like what 15 or so years ago? I didn't care for it all that much but I'm willing to give it another go if there's a director's cut available. I thought that there was chunks of info about the characters and situation that got lost in the editing room. So maybe with the new info included its a better movie.Plus they killed off Hicks which was an egregious mistake in my book. Why the fuck kill off a cool customer like Michael Biehn right at the beginning of the movie? Let him kill some aliens/convicts before you off him. I blame the Frenchman for that.
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i'm drunk and i take it all back. as an australian i feel that people would be disappointed with me if i wasn't standoffish. sorry
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alien 3. it wasn't that bad. aliens is my favorite
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I agree with you 100% on Titanic. Every word you wrote I've said before.
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There are Mexicans In Australia? I know your drunk but care to explain that one because I'm not tracking what your saying.Mexicans are good people. The women can be uncommenly hot, the food is great and when I used to drink, the beer, tequila, mescal and pulque were all top notch.
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Jarv's top 10 most hated, this is a fluid list but these are mainstays in the top 20. These are all films that transcend the merely bad, and are all evil to some level With reasons in reverse order:
10)Notting Hill- "I'm just a girl, standing here asking a boy to love her". No you're not. You are in fact Julia Roberts playing Julia Roberts standing in front of a twat attempting to make the audience throw up. FUCK OFF Curtis you smug upper-middle class cunt.
9)Hostel- talentless, shitty, nasty, drab, odious, badly scripted useless torture porn dreck.
8) AvP and AvP:R, I want to hurt PWSA. How on earth can you think it’s a good idea to take 2 of the most iconic movie monsters ever and reduce them to supporting fucking characters in the FUCKING FILM WITH THEIR NAME IN THE TITLE. How can you fuck with the canon established by both sets of films and HOW CAN YOU MAKE THOSE 2 PIECES OF EPIC DESIGN LOOK LIKE HORSESHIT? How can you think that some kind of weird love story between the human and the predator was a good idea- even if she does look like a predator? How can you piss away Lance Henriksson, Ewen Bremner and a host of other good actors? What made you fucking think that setting a film called Alien V Predator in a fucking INCAN TEMPLE BELOW THE ICE IN THE ARCTIC was a good idea? YOU FUCKING HACK. Mostly, I hate it because it put paid to the Scott Alien 5 we’d have got and the Cameron Alien 6- and it means Sigourney Weaver will never appear in another Alien film. You cunts Fox.
7) Superman Returns- look, this isn’t hard. You have an alien with amazing powers. Do not under any circumstances produce some fucking love story to cripplingly dated films. Do not produce some weird homosexual analogy. It isn’t clever using $300m of Warner Brothers money as some sort of therapy session. Do not turn your hero into some kind of degenerate stalking weirdo. Do not introduce ludicrous non-canon characters (superbrat, I’m looking at you), that paint you into a corner. Do try to give your actors some fucking direction. Do cast an actual woman as the female lead. Do not spew 3 hours worth of EMO shite on a comic book movie.
6) The Phantom Menace. Fuck you Lucas. I’ll never forgive you
5) Attack of The Clones. Fuck you Lucas, And I thought the Phantom Menace was bad,
4) Moulin Rouge. If you’re going to make a sympathy grab and kill your main character then you need to do the following things- 1)Don’t fucking tell me in the first line. 2)If you do break rule 1, then make sure I give a shit about her. 3)Don’t cast Nicole Kidman as a hooker. She looks like she had TB from the start. If you’re going to make a musical then please follow Jarv’s guide- hire actors that can sing, (Ewen McGregor, despite what he thinks, can’t). Hire Actors that can dance. Do not elevate bubblegum pop shite as some sort of high art- or if you do, then do not hang a skin-crawlingly awful dance number around it with some of the most dreadful dialogue ever (I’m looking at you Like a Virgin), do not set it in some kind of brothel and then pretend that we give a shit. Try to avoid clichés. I know it’s hard in a musical but please fucking try. I hate that film
3) Titanic- Now we’re getting into the films I really, really despise. Please see above.
2) There is only 1 film I hate more than any other, but this one runs it close- American Beauty. I’m with Goldman on this, it’s a nasty, phony, insidious, boring, hypocritical paean to being a useless cunt. I actually wanted to beat the living fuck out of Kevin Spacey as a matter of general principle- and it makes me smile that the cunt died. However, it falls into the Moulin Rouge trap of TELLING THE FUCKING AUDIENCE AT THE START BUT NOT MAKING YOU GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HIM. I can’t stress this enough, if you are going to do this then you have to make DAMNED SURE WE GIVE A SHIT. And some petty fucking mid life crisis does not cut it.
1)Forrest Gump. I’ve said this before, but if Satan ever gets my soul and wants to make me really suffer for eternity then all he has to do is lash me to a chair and play this on a loop.
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I don't want cuddles. Fuck's sake. I forgot that you have to state the obvious to Australians.
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i can pay titanic, didn't really like it but can pay it. the thing that shits me is that it is sloppy film making. my favs are res dogs or mallrats. why spend 500 bucks on a fork at the back of the room that no one ever sees? to me a film maker is like a magican. years after i though though i read about orwell saying the same. the skill is in misdirection, makeing someone look at the wrong hand. in this way an empty building is a busting office. it is all about what you show. to create something, to spend so much money and then not show it is sloppy. every dollar should make it onto the screen. and titanic, while a good movie, is worst movie ever that way.
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woa! say that again slowly please.
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There is a restored version- it's still not definitive (fox are lying- they've got the footage but won't let fincher near it. You can tell, there's loads of footage in the making of docs that isn't in either cut). It's a very interesting curiosity of a film, but the Assembly cut restores things that the studio cut through gross stupidity. They actually catch the beast and then one of the prisoners lets it out because he's insane in the Assembly version, which makes much more sense. One day we'll get a definitive version.
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oz is kinda like the US upside down. our deep south is in the north. I'm a northerner. we refer to southerners (who i fucking hate. you don't understand, those fuckers) as mexicans. cause they are south of the boarder. i would be the equivalant of a red neck american (i don't consider myself racist but am one of those happily backward types) we call that 'occa' or 'yobo'
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touche, chipps, touche.
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Big football game this weekend. Its the clash of the ages between two, who knows what the fuck will show up, teams of mediocrity. Of course I mean the mighty Big Red of the AZ Cardinals VS the J-E-T-S, JETS JETS JETS!I have no clue with this one. Do you?
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try to remember i am an australian and as Churchill once said: 'you can't make a decent race out of convicts and irishmen'
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Yes, and the cheeky bastard was less than pleasant about the scots as well. Which pisses me off being as I'm half scot- half irish.
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I'm a redneck. Product of a rural upbringing and everything, but consider this. The term redneck has been taken over and twisted into another meaning all together. It's much different then its roots.Try not to get sucked into the prism that blinds many a talkbacker here on AICN. Since lunch is over I'll have to wait and see how much I'm going to get flamed for this post. I assume it will be quite a bit.
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good onya. i looked it up a while ago and what i heard was that it came from the leathery tan a man gets from working in the sun. trust me we get that in queensland. you're ownership of the term seems simular to me, people are ashemed to come from where i come from. truely they are. wiki ipswich or pauliene hanson (who is our most famous citizen and a person i don't like) i refuse to be ashamed of where i come from. we stopped the japanese. i'll never take it away from a yank, but 12 months ago my uncle died he was at kokoda which we call australia's themopolie. 400 aussie took on the jap army, mcarthur called coward but we stopped em (thanks to you guys at the coral sea) we fight. you yanks hang on to your guns, wave your flags and put your hands on your hearts and more than one of you have questioned my loyaly to my country cause i don't act the same as you. by us aussies are just different. queitly patriotic. but i make no appologies. (drunk) anywayjarvt that remindes me of one of my best mates. half protestant irish half catholic first gen aussie. he keeps saying he wants to kill himself.
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obviously slavery is wrong. but it was the upperclass who had slaves not the lower class. i consider it a tradegdy that it is wrong to be proud of an ancestor who felt he was fighting for his home. my best mate is 1st gen austrain and i go to the german club on their monthly gathering (they have accepted me) these poor fucks wern't fighting for hitler, they didn't want to kill jews. they fought for their homes. and it is a tradgedy that we feel the need to hate them. my old man started coming. we are an aussie family. dad felt wrong about it. he was like my dad tryed to kill you guys. and they were like: we fought for our homes. our cause was wrong but by the time we got into it the russians were raping their way across our country. these guys are awesome. they know i am glad they lost, that my family shot at them, and yet they sit there and drink with me (and serinade my girlfreind so she will let me come back). there are so many of these guys here that they have their uboat conventions in brisbane (and i know these guys)
woa drunk -
I've been thinking about it, and while I'm still in no doubt that it does in fact suck (The presence of Roxburgh demands this), I don't think that much of it's enormous suckitude was down to Norrington. It reeks of "made by focus group" thinking- for example- Tom Sawyer. Did they need an American in it for the story? obviously not. However, do marketing tools think you need an American to make money? obviously so. Ergo, American. If they'd thought about it, they could have made the invisible man American and not hurt the story. However, he's too minor for that. The casting also stinks of this. Connery was a good choice, but whatshername as Mina Harker? Getthefuckoutta here with that shit, Fleming as Dr. Jeckyll? I was never convinced that he was anything more than a moron. It's almost like they picked a group of actors that were "up and coming" according to marketing tools and then detonated a huge bomb under all their careers. To sum up, I think Norrington needs another chance, and I would be more than happy to see him do Alien 5. Provided Fox can keep their hands out.
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When Robert Evans had his first meeting with the Distribution people at paramount he said "I won't tell you how to sell, and you don't tell me what to make" A pity we can't get that back
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Sam Mendes. Oooooh you theatrical Genius sam, you dressed the compare in Cabaret in Concentration camp gear. Wow, you fucking insightful man- Cabaret linked with Nazism- whoddathunk it.
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the wisdom of Jarv TB, How funny.
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Saw Eagle Eye at a free screening at the local imax last night. In truth, I'm glad I didn't pay for it, which i had intended to. The story works, although it ends up being a wee bit far fetched and some of the action scenes work well enough, though this was heightened by the IMAX so that during the scenes of spectacular vehicular destruction, you seemed to be in the car spinning about.
Otherwise, the action scenes were the kind of stuff typically found in Bruckheimer movies. Heavily edited and tweaked until they get all the nauseating chaos of a car crash without any of the visual interest. There are points where the storyboards for this must have looked very cool, with a car chase through a junkyard and cranes grabbing cars willy nilly, but when it plays out in the movie, you almost don't realize what's happening til after the fact.
The cast is fine, and Shia is still striving to become that movie star, and I think he will make it. He works for a film like this, because when the theme revolves around how we have sold our privacy and independence for false security and technology, Shia becomes something of an avatar. He's just a kid really, slopping through a junk job, dealing with a family that doesn't think much of him, and trying to figure out where the next bit of cash is coming from. Also, Im sure Danny will rejoice because they found a way to squeeze double the Shia into a film. He has a twin brother! A dead twin brother! I rolled my eyes at that, but honestly, it is an important factor in the story ultimately.
Billy Bob looked like a muppet. Monahan was window dressing. Rosario Dawson always looked to have a larger role, but each time they started down this road, they backed off it.
The strength of Eagle Eye, is actually the story. Far fetched as it is, it takes a generic innocents on the run from shadowy all-seeing villains and crafts it into a clever techno-thriller that carries you through the slower parts.
My complaint is that the characters at the heart of this weren't better written. In fact, the whole script sufferes from cliche and going back to the well too many times. It's an original idea that someone fluffed out with the usual action standbys and stock human beings.
Overall, I enjoyed the movie, but if you are one of the ones planning to see this, go matinee.
3 out of 5. -
I robot, Constantine, Indy 4. He fucking stinks. When will Hollywood stop trying to ram him down our throats?
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Jarv, you are right on bout Sam. I LOATHED American Beauty and feel that it's win might be the most egregious case of the Academy awarding something heinous(yes, even more than Forrest Gump, which I dislike but not as much as some).
Still, when Road to Perdition came out, I was willing to give ol' Sam another chance. And the thing mostly fell flat for me, which is wierd since I loved the graphic novel and the look of the film and the acting. Honestly, it almost completely came down to the directing and the muddled choices made for the film, as well as omitting the more powerful bits from the GN.
And Jarhead? Welcome to the suck indeed. -
He will either realize it's better to pick one part you can truly be passionate about, or just keep being shoehorned into stuff. He showed alot of promise in Holes I thought. He was just a kid back then. Hard to think anyone had it out for him. But then someone put him on the Hollywood PLan-Here, see, first you can play the sidekick to the token action hero, and then at the same time we will start introducing you as the action hero. And so he got to play second fiddle in I Robot and Constantine and then he got some leading guy roles in Disturbia and Transformers, and then the sidekick in a big action film and now the lead in an action film. If he can weather this young star thing and get beyond this, I think he will be o.k. I don't think he's great, but I also don't see all the hate aimed at him.
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because we were going to watch the presidential debate. (Obviously I am removing all sharp objects from Mrs. Jarv's reach). It had better be on, and Over the weekend I'm going to watch Blade Runner and Blood Diamond.
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wtf? i really walked into lxg wanting to like it and they made me hate it. i didn't want to like any of sam meades films. but i did cause they were good.
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American Beauty. Shit. Hate it. And the script is BRILLIANT- the sole thing that makes it better than Forrest Gump. That's what a cunt mendes is. It's not quite as evil as gump, but it's still pretty fucking evil. It shoud be retitled "JOys of being a selfish cunt, while some pretentious douche bag fims litter like it's fucking picasso"Road To Perdition- Boring. Shit. Hate it. Jarhead- most boring (unsuprising in a film about being bored, but fails to capture any of the ennui that it needed), pretentious, wank. Hate it.
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the movie sucks. where do you point your finger?
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and I think LXG sucks,
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how goes it? plans for the weekend. Is Blade Runner one of the movies you were getting together as a group to watch Jarv?
Never saw Blood Diamond. Just missed it somehow. -
so it's been yanked. Just me and Mrs. Jarv. I'm not sure what to replace it with.
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Do you mean LXG or Mendes? LXG I think you can squarley point at the marketing department at the studio, Mendes takes all the blame himself. It isn't like he makes summer blockbusters.
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Did you see The Salton Sea? And then was promptly let down by Two For the Money, one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen. It was sooo stupid I gave up on DJ. I was amazed that they gave him a second chance. But Eagle Eye has me wondering if I gave up to soon on DJ. But the misses isn't interested in Eye, feels like Choke is going to be too vulgar. So it looks like Forever Strong will be the movie for me this weekend. Which is fine because anything to do with Rugby, even if its a little contrived, is fine by me. Also I want to know Dickbloods sentiments about Choke. Because we all know about his love for Fight Club.
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OHH MAN! If you've ever wanted to see Rambo 3 mixed with Happy Feet....this is your movie. Here is the basic plot: Leo: WHERE'S THE DIAMOND! Screaming Tall Black Guy Playing the Same Role He Always Does: WHERE'S MY SON! Repeat for 2 hours, tack on the ending from Happy Feet after a scene stolen right out of Rambow and throw in Edward Zwick's desperate sense of making a movie just to get an Oscar and BAM! Blood Diamond.
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I seem to recall Jarv touting Leprechaun, so I'll guess the answer is yes. Any favorites? Watching Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer currently. It definitely qualifies.
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classic. Series, I liked Disturbia better than Eagle Eye, but it's a fine action/popcorn film. I think many will like it more than I. I was a bit tired too when I saw it, but it's a fun couple of hours. It's very for the masses, but the actual story borders on scifi and it's neat. The action scenes are fun, if unspectacular. That's all I say.
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Shit, my love of low-rent stuff is lengthy. Lep, Tremors 3 & 4, Pumpkinhead (all of them apart from 2), anything with Troma written on the front. Mrs. Jarv thinks I'm a bit sad. Is Jack Brooks any good?
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Fuck that.
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I feel that everyone's problem with LXG (even thought I found it stupidly fun, I didn't know shit about Robert Moore at the time still haven't read it....or any of his other shit, I just know that his works are important). Is Norringtons fault. I am basing this though souly on rumors. I've heard tons of different things about him, like he is just crazy. That Bond wanted to fight him on set, and told him that he should never direct a movie ever again because he was so bad. I also heard that for Blade he over heard some producers talking about him before the movie started and they were worried that he wasn't dark or edgy enough. SO the next day he arrives on set with a bunch of tattoos and piercings and goes up to producers and asks them if they think he is dark and edgy enough now. Sounds like the dude is just a doofus.
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See, I find it amazing that a director who did something as tight as Blade could then do something as messy as LXG. If it was his fault then he is indeed a doofus
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So far, it's pretty decent. It's not as crazy as stuff like Evil Dead 2 or Dead Alive, or as witty as Shaun of the Dead, but it's a pretty amusing flick. Little Jack saw his whole family eaten at a campground by what looked to me like an Uruk Hai(like EXACTLY an Uruk Hai). Years later, he is a twenty something with a prissy girlfriend, attending community college and a whole batch of anger issues that usually mainfest themselves with Jack throat-punching classmates(really, throat punching).
His prof is the kindly absent minded type, played by Robert Englund. He invites Jack to his place cause Jack is a plumber and Englund is having trouble with his pipes. Seriously, do you really just follow your 40-something prof home when he says 'I'd like you to look at my pipes." But whatever.
Jack's meddling with the plumbing causes soemthing buried under the ground to stir, and soon Englund has been posessed by the black heart of some ancient demon(We see a tribe battling a variation on this in the opening). Eventually, he's vomitting on the chalkboard, eating pets and trying very hard to turn community college night class into a bloodbath. And then Jack realizes he cant run away, and there is an upside to posessing closeted rage when you are faced with monsters. -
For some reason I was able to do a sweet impersonation of Leos South African accent for like a week after I saw the movie. Then like the most of the movie after a week I couldn't remember how to do it anymore. Like it came really easily, it was weird because all of the sudden I just couldn't make fun of Leo. COME ON LOCAL NEWS TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF THIS WEEKENDS FILMS! Sorry I shouldn't be up, I feel asleep on the couch and woke up to local news. Looks like some teacher was caught with a hooker and a video was put up on you tube are something and his students found it, hahahahahaha. Seriously think how much something sooo stupid as You Tube has change the world. ALRIGHT MOVIE TIME!
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guess there is some huge short film festival happening here this weekend?
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At the premiere of LXG, someone asked where director Norrington was(it was widely known at this point that Connery basically took over and finished directing the film himself). Connery says "Has anyone checked the local mental institutions. I reckon you will find him there."
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Mrs. Jarv has just discovered that I've put both JB and Starship Troopers 3 on the lovefilm list. She is in fact Deeply unimpressed. Just as well she hasn't noticed Bubba Ho tep- which I've never seen,
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Summer movies will finally be out of the top ten this week. Oh well, for having such a long run Tropic Thunder didn't gross enough money, that movie was awesome.
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Bubba is a bit of brilliance, but don't expect the excess of Evil Dead. It's actually a poignant look at aging. Really, it is. But it also has a mummy in a cowboy hat that will suck your soul out of your butt if you aren't careful, or can't defend yourself. But yea, Bubba is quality.
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The simply magnificent Bad Taste. Jackson hasn't done anything as good as that little tupenny-hapenny production: "Right You intergalactic arseholes I'm coming for you!"
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Hehehehehehehe
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I'll stop this now, Last one: "Are we OK to give Oz a fun, even with his psychological problems?"
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I'll stop this now, Last one: "Are we OK to give Oz a gun, even with his psychological problems?"
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Sep 26, 2008 7:50:39 AM CDT
didn't look all the way up to see if someone posted this
by just pillow talk
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20229062,00.htmlThat was for Danny, with all my love...
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maybe. Although Braindead is also good. I am a sad bastard in that I vastly prefer his pre-Hollywood output. Even if it is low-rent.
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It's the battle of misfits...Cards 24Jets 16Two more interceptions for Farve.The Gang Green legacy lives on...
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Sep 26, 2008 7:53:30 AM CDT
I think I'm going to stop giving my opinions on movies
by hawaiian organ donor
Jesus Christ I'm getting hit from all sides this week.Danny crapped all over my Kubrick faves yesterday, Jarv is making me feel like a dunce for getting a kick out of Titanic and Series just performed a rear admiral on me for thinking Blood Diamond was a good show.However, I agree with the American Beauty comments though. I can't stand the term "Oscar bait" because it's disingenuous (even Spielberg was thinking "No way the Academy is going to snub me this time, bitches!" when he was making Schindler's and that's a movie we'll all defend) but American Beauty was pure Oscar bait. And I felt so disconnected from every character in the movie, I think I actually turned to the guy I went to see it with and asked why I was wasting my time watching these people I didn't give a damn about.LXG wasn't as fun the second time I watched it and that's why I've avoided watching it a third time. From what I've read all the squabbling on the set was mainly due to Norrington's anger over Fox's mishandling of yet another property so I don't think he was the problem. New Line gave him freedom over Blade and look how amazing that turned out.
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He seems to have been a clown looking at his record. NOt that I care particularly, I just thought I'd share that with you. How are the mets doing pillows? Play-offs a posibility.
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Sep 26, 2008 7:54:00 AM CDT
and since it's fucking pouring like a muthafucker here
by just pillow talk
Ain't no way I'll be able to go to the Mets game tonight. Which, I have to be frank (not frankie though, that crazy cunt), is okay with me. It should be rescheduled for Saturday or Sunday, which I believe I'll still be able to get to. Which means I'll get to see the REAL bigtime football game tonight on ESPN: Uconn vs. Louisville. I'll have to tape the debate.
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with 3 games left to play.Plenty of time to fuck it up.
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Meet the Feebles is sooo much better then Bad Taste. I'm sorry Jackson has had a flawless career, and I put the LOTR movies in his bottom 3.
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That's okay, I liked Blood Diamond too. Much better than Leo's other film from the same year, The Departed, in my humble opinion.
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Oregon state? For real?Pathetic cunts.
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For shame Shia, for shame.
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from the anecdotes can anyone else spell "Coke problem"? Also, I do not think Schindler's List is as flawless as it is made out to be. And I'm glad I'm not alone when in thinking that Jackson's 4 worst films are 3 LOTR efforts then that steaming gorilla load. Hawaiin, if you want to stick a knife in my taste then the chance is above. I owned up to liking Shakespeare in Love.
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I put that as one of Jacksons best. But I can understand why people hate it. Also I think the LOTR are amazing movies, they just weren't for me. I kind of have mixed feelings about them. Part of me is glad Jackson will be able to do whatever he wants for the rest of his life, and part of me wishes Jackson was still trying to push the envelop and break into mainstream with crazy stuff. Not too big into the fact that his next movie is a book to movie film. Though wasn't Heavenly Creatures a book? I know it was based on true events. Has anyone seen Forgotten Silver?
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I liked Shakespeare in love as well.
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But I want to watch that.
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First off I have yet to see one commercial for the movie The Fall's release on DVD from a week or two ago. I guess its got a really good viral campaign? But Made Of Honor beat Speed Racer in the dvd sales and rental this week. I guess all those hopes of Speed becoming some cult DVD hit aren't looking too good. But has anyone that's seen the movie and seen the ads and are wondering what the fuck is WB thinking? I mean after the flop of the summer due to terrible ads you think they would've changed the ads for the DVD, but know same fucking commercials for the movie. Maybe they were thinking why waste anymore money on the film? I mean the movie is just not connecting with movie audiences, its the ultimate ADD film. Maybe they should do an tie in with riddilin or something.
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I wanted so desperately to hate it after it won best picture but it was impossible not to like it. I thought Fiennes was amazing and didn't want to punch Paltrow in the throat for a change. So we're on the same page, Jarv.Don't get us started on The Departed. That's a subject for an all day hate-on. Best picture my ass.That USC loss had me laughing this morning. And the Mets? Damn, what a tough team to love, Pillow.
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but don't want to come over all Ringwearer 9 about it. "blah moved SHelob, blah, Goblins should wear lingerie, blah, sunset is purple, blah, Jackson is an orc, blah, Where's Saruman (despite the fact that his big bit is in The 2 Towers), Blah, I go to bed at night and stroke myself with a very dog-eared copy of Tolkien's work, blah, I have to leave now because I need to make a new cardboard sword for a LARP convention and I'm going as Faramir,"
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See a rugby movie being the next big sports movie. If I ever become a film maker I want to make a documentary about club rugby in American colleges. Its the biggest non varsity sport in the U.S., also its usually the biggest club on most campuses. Most clubs are student run and what not. I think it would make for an interesting doc about how members try to keep numbers up and organize events all for the love of the game.
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Not completely terrible. Not Infernal Affairs. In fact, Infernal Affairs is so fucking good that the existance of Departed is a bit insulting. Does Danny hate fight club?
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before the game is completely ruined with ELV's that actually turn it into shite in an attempt to court Australian TV (that doesn't give a fuck anyway). It used to be a game for all shapes and sizes, but if they keep going down this road, that'll be lost.
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Sep 26, 2008 8:36:03 AM CDT
Speed Racer will take time to achieve cult status
by hawaiian organ donor
That stuff doesn't happen overnight. In another 10 years, my daughter and her generation will have seen it and discuss it on AICN with adoration.Army of Darkness, Tremors and Big Trouble in Little China all found a cult audience as soon as they hit cable.
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because it's very social. It really is a drinking exercise. True story- a long time ago when I was just a nipper playing for one of the junior sides we were waiting for a lift home. So we were hanging around in the clubhouse. One of the senior sides was standing with the other and I heard one forward say "That fucking headbutt you gave me didn't half hurt" to the opposition, who replied "yeah but that fucking punch- I think you broke my cheekbone" Forwards are nutters. Imagine standing in the pub having a pint and comparing how hard you'd just whacked a member of the opposition with the guy you whacked, Mentalists,
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Sep 26, 2008 8:40:54 AM CDT
Hate is not a strong enough word for his feelings...
by hawaiian organ donor
...on Fight Club. He'll be on in another 40 minutes so let's make sure we've moved onto something else because another day long back and forth over Fight Club is more than my battered heart can take right now.So if LOTR are the lesser works of Jackson, am I to understand then that everyone likes The Frighteners?
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see also Blade Runner, The Thing, Escape From New York and so forth.
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a lot. Anyhoo- The frightners is also good, but I kind of mark it as a turning point. It's where Jackson stopped doing the extreme stuff of Braindead, Feebles and Bad Taste and moved down the PG13 route.
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how can you say it's better than FOTR? Seriously.I won't argue over anyone dissing the TT and ROTK, but Fellowship was perfect.
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Regarding Henry is a heinous act against humanity...heh-heh-heh...
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Heed it now.
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Neigh means Neigh!!!
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LOTR. LOTRs may be better movies technically, but Fighteners is more fun. I mean I've seen each LOTR once and I don't ever feel like seeing them again. But I would watch Fighteners any day of the week.
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I was a forward. Pretty much playing every position. I haven't played in over a year, and right now the misses has me playing club soccer with her and all I can think about is just tackling the shit out of every player on the team. People who play soccer are such pussies.
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About once every six months or so I will watch the LOTR trilogy over a couple of days.
But if Frightners is on I immediatly start watching and can't turn away.
It has gotten better with every viewing.
Sort of like Tremors. -
Toad -- you are a gentle giant.
HOD -- I didn't "CRAP" all over your Kubrick films. Its not like I went on and on about them. I'm 50/50 with Kubrick, I said which I liked and which I didn't.
Chitty -- Kathy Bates' pussy stinks.
Jarv -- Yes, I do indeed despise Fight Club.
Fred -- Where the fuck are you?
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You're a crazy person. But yes, soccer is wimpy in comparison.
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...its one big gimmick. And I don't like gimmicks. Its a movie that tries to shove it down our throat its some powerhouse message that represents a generation. It worked, I knew a ton of morons that would recite its anti-consumerism bullshit daily while wearing nothing but the latest Abercrombie and Fitch. That Pitt line, "Self improvement is masturbation," pretty much sums up the whole film for me. One big gimmick of hypocrisy. No-- Fight Club is masturbation. Its Fincher jacking off with nifty CG and showing the world how smart he is.
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On Rotten Tomatoes they have a best 50 animated movies of all time list. And Antz is in the top 20 but Lion King and Beauty and the Beast are not? Antz is higher then A Bugs Life. I am really interested to see whats number one, The Any Bully?
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Are they fucking insane?
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and that A Bug's Life was much, much better. Just like I wasn't crazy for Madagascar. I think the only non-pixar movies of recent that I enjoyed was Iron Giant and Ice Age.
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And they have a photo of a 3-Disc special edition DVD. Thats pretty sweet. Toy Story is number 4 and Toy Story 2 is number 1..... While I am ok with that. Toy Story will always be better then Toy Story 2.
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but don't you love signs? which is little more than one big Gimmick. And I seems that you dislike the fans of the film rather than actually the film itself. By your own admission it was effective, it worked. I like it- and I'm certainly disenfranchised and seething with dissatisfaction: working a job I hate to buy shit I don't need. Do I want to quit my job, get punched in the face a lot, and start a terrorist organisation? Of course not. Having said that, I also despise suit wearing square mile working banking/ lawyer shitheads(you know who you are, oh, and how's unemployment working out for you- those options weren't so good now were they you greedy cocksuckers) that quote it endlessly but are too stupid to realise that fight club is not for them to relate to- they just think it's cool that people take their tops off to fight in a basement.
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fucking woody allen naevl gazing wankfest masquerading as a cartoon> It's not even subtle for fuck's sake.
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No Ice Age and the only Dreamworks are Shrek 1 and 2, Kung Fu Panda and Antz. The only Dreamworks animated movies worth mentioning. Though they left out any 80's -90's fox animation stuff like An American Tale and Titan A.E. and Secerts of NIMH
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Sep 26, 2008 9:53:35 AM CDT
it was succesful in the same way 300 was succesful....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...that doesn't make it good. You can call Signs a gimmick, but it doesn't try to have some life altering cultural message. No no....I dislike nearly every minute of that film. I can't stand the dialogue. I can't stand Pitt playing the ultimate cocksucker. It makes me cringe. Everyone went off about Colin....to me-- Pitt is the King of Cocksuckers. Its just an ugly, worthless film to me-- highlighted by actors I don't like, dialogue that annoys me, a shit soundtrack, and tons of unnecessary CG. The punch foley effects are good...I'll give it that. And I do like the penguin scene.
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I was being overly dramatic. It's queen season.Call me a fag but I really enjoyed Antz.Toy Story 2 number one? Ummmm, I liked it and all but number one? Damn. Iron Giant and Secret of NIHM got screwed.
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I'll probably purchase that one. I really need to get my daughter to watch some other pixar movie besides Cars. She's fanatical about it. Wonder if she'll be enthralled with Wall-E?
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Sep 26, 2008 9:55:53 AM CDT
no animation films come close to Bluth's work....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Deserve to make of a majority of the top of any best animated list. At least all Pixar movies are made in the states and not made in Animation factories overseas. I can understand any hate for pretty much any movie. But I can't understand hating pixar. I can get that maybe you think your too grown up for it and I'll let you enjoy hour long episodes of Hole In the Wall and back to back CSI: Vagas and CSI: Miami, but I can't understand hating Pixar. Though it was creepy that at the end of Wall-E the Buy-N-Large logo came up after the Disney logo, kind of like getting a heads up in a way.
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Probably won't get that till Monday, but I should be able to watch Sympathy this weekend.
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hate polar bears and beluga whales.
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....I won't say I hate it. But I will say it is an absolute worthless effort. I agree-- it is hard to say you HATE Pixar....because they do have a certain charm that protects them from most forms of hatred. But Nemo...fuck.
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Cars is such a hit with Kids? They fucking eat it up like cat nip. Every parent I know tells me how there kid watches that movie like 10 times a week. Oh yeah Danny, can't beat Rock-A-Doodle, Thumbelina, A Troll in Central Park, The Pebble and the Penguin and Anastasia. Bluth has 4 good films and Titan A.E. which was interesting and tried to pave the way to more adult animation. But it was too much of a kiddie Heavy Metal wannabe. TMNT much better, and so was Monster House. Both movies meant for kids 10 and older.
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I can understand not liking it, because I think it's one of their more average efforts, but it's not atrocious shit. AvP is atrocious shit, not Nemo.
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Never seen Bartok the Magnificent, and neither has anyone else.
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I've never seen that one either.How do you dudes see all these movies? Fuck me, I'm so behind.
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I'm just talking the big 3-- Nimh, Land, and American. IMO nothing will ever come close.
Nemo is shit because Ellen and Albert Brooks make me want to vomit they are so annoying. And the movie is boring. It should have been a 20 minute short. Albert screaming, "That's my soooooooooon!!" every 5 minutes gets really really old. I don't know how people can claim Pixar has had nothing but stellar writing in a world where Nemo exists. The most interesting part of the film is the fish tank. I would have rather seen an entire film in the fish tank. -
He's a crazy person's alter ego. Also, that's one of the few Brad Pitt performances that is actually good. SO you'd rather he played nothing other than hunky dreamboats that are nice to children. And seven is NOT a good performance.
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.....it gets a little repetitive. But its fun. The back-story of the house was kind of retarded though.
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No. I'd rather not watch a movie where I'm supposed to root for the cock-sucker. Its not fun to me.
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I think its saved by its Animation. I've heard that Stanton wanted to make it darker, like I guess in the first scene you were suppose to see half of Nemo's moms body or something. Compare Nemo to A Shark's Tale and that's why you cannot call it atrocious. In fact comparing the two makes Nemo look like one of the best damn films ever made.
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To have that many quality films deserves praise.
But only when you start comparing them to each other can you pick out the better ones.
Personally I like Toy Story 2 best and the one I liked the least was Cars (Which wasn't bad, but just not as good as the rest in my opinion.) -
But you're the one with the Pixar films as your top films of all time right?
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Was lame. Again took away from the Darkness of the movie. Just like in TMNT when the bad guy was really a good guy thing. I still say TMNT was one of the best movies of 07, though thats not saying much. You can put All Dogs Go to Heaven on Bluth's list. Danny have you seen Wall-E?
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That's some depressing stuff but every performance is a powerhouse and the revenge scenes are like nothing I've ever seen before. Brutal is too kind a word.And good luck ever looking at a screwdriver the same way again.
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I'm with him 110% on Nemo. It's atrocious shit, and Ellen makes me want to put my foot through the fucking screen.
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....but it looked great from the trailers.
TMNT was a very fine film. I will back that up. The Raph/Leo fight in the rain....awesome. -
The fish tank and the sharks.
The rest was a little over the top, as a good drinking game is to take a shot everytime you hear the word "Nemo".
You'll be on the floor very fast. -
Toy Story 1 is my favorite film of all time. It just came out at the right time in my life. It holds up well, I seem to be the only person still alive that likes Randy Newman. And its the one film that's come out in my lifetime that's revolutionized film making. Before Toy Story everyone thought CGI movies would never happen. It also had a good tie in game. I liked 2, but a 3rd one does worry me. Something tells me Toy Story 3 could be Pixars first not universally loved movie. Though I hope I'm wrong.
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Your foot? Hehehe......for some reason the thought of pulling my foot out through busted glass scares me more than the thought of pulling my fist out. I guess I'm just terrified of the idea of living with a limp.
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1) Tyler Durdern 2)Renton in Trainspotting3) Tim Robbins in the Player 4)Kevin Spacey in Swimming With Sharks There's probably lots but those are the first ones that jumped to mind. Danny if you don't like an anti-hero that's one thing, but it doesn't diminish that it is a well made film. He's a cocksucker (I wasn't particularly rooting for him), but it's a good performance and a great role.
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was quite a cool little animated movie. Had that 80s feel going for it. The Frigheners was good fun. Bad Taste is awesome. Forgotten Silver was cool too, albeit different.
Was that a list of top animated films or something?
Iron Giant, Fantasia, Toy Story, Pinnochio and Grave of the Fireflies are my top five. -
I remember when I first read about the concept I was kinda disappointed they were going with traditional Pixarish CG. It looks to be their most photo-realistic yet....so why not just shoot live plates and then CG the characters over that? They could have built miniature sets. I wonder what ILM'S CG movie will be like. Thats a pretty crazy idea.....if they do a film with Star Wars quality CG.
And Monster House would have been batter with tradition CG and not Mo-Cap. I still fucking despise the look of Mo-Cap. It is distracting. -
Forgot number 5)Cartman.
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Sorry....I don't think anything about that film is well done saves for the fight effects and damage make-up. It is easily Fincher's weakest IMO...and yes I'm including Panic Room in that.
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So the end of Jack Brooks features Englund turning into a giant muppet! Seriously, a practical effects muppet that looks like a fleshy version of the Rock Biter from Never Ending Story. The same design, except he bites off heads instead of rocks. Nifty little movie. Kinda feels like a pilot for a series more than just a one shot wild splatter film. But between this and Eagle Eye, I'll go with Jack Brooks.
On Eagle Eye. I didnt say it was bad, it just didnt quite live up to it's premise for me. It was like Enemy of the State. Probably on that level, but weaker since it didnt have any charisma with it's main stars. The story however was better. If you are thinking of seeing it, my review isnt a deterrent, just a call to temper expectations. -
Rotten tomatoes made a list of top 50 animated movies. Nothing Bluth is on the list and Toy Story 2 is number 1 and Antz is a head of A Bugs Life/Lion King/Beauty And the Beast. And Speed Racer is now available on Demand.
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...thinking about it more-- there is not one single character in Fight Club I like. That is a problem for me. If I have emotion invested in any of these people....I can give a shit if a sniper blasts one of them in the face at any given moment. I really could care less who lived or died in that film so it feels worthless to watch. Norton is a whiny cunt....and Helena is just playing herself and trying her hardest to arouse Tim Burton who was probably sitting off screen fondling himself every time she lit up. -
to Bug's Life and Lion King but not Beauty. Ranking doesn't matter much, but to exclude Bluth is a shame. I think American Tail was overrated, but Secret of Nimh? C'mon. I even liked Titan A.E.
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Fucking hate Beowulf. Not for Mo-cap, for being shite.
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Not just for Bluth-- but what a slap in the face for any hand-drawn that isn't Disney. Fuck that.
A Pixar film in the top spot disgusts me. No fucking way is Toy Story 2 better than a ton of classic Disney shit. This is just a flavor of the month type list. In 20 years....it will all be back to classic Disney. CG will be so advanced that this current shit won't even be impressive anymore and real lovers of art will go back to the hand drawn shit. -
comes out on Oct 10th to dvd. I went the "back channels" to get it. It's a cool flick. I'd say 3.5 out of 5. And it does wrap up like a pilot. I just find it funny that the movie is all about this guy finding an actual use for his pent up rage instead of learning to suppress it. Turns out he was born to fight monsters and that's why he's just seething all the time.
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he had bitch tits. That was funny. Is watership down on that list?
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definitely add Brooks to the queue. I think you will dig it. All you schlock guys, check it out. Im definitely gonna show this one when Halloween rolls around. ALL practical fx too, and fun.
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Sep 26, 2008 10:37:12 AM CDT
I can't believe Lady and the Tramp was so far down
by chittychittygangbang
Loved that one.
I think they do those lists to stir the pot up and generate a few more hits on their website.
Or maybe I'm old and grew up with those Disney classics, so maybe just a bit jaded. -
Yeah.....I did like The Loaf. A would have rather watched a film just about his character.
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Although it was pretty far down the list.
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...and damn romantic too. That should have been in the Top 10. -
That talked like that beaver from Lady and the Tramp.
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That movie was awesome! All the bad ass that 300 thought it was. I was pissed that I didn't seek it out in 3-D in the theaters.
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Its been almost ten years since TS2 showed up. I think it has earned the title of classic, and won't be going anywhere. The real concern is that in 20 years people won't be remembering the classic disney films. And by classics Im thinking not of the films of the 90s, but stuff like Sleeping Beauty, Pinochio, Snow White, Lady and the Tramp, heck even Sword in the Stone.
One of the things I like best about this group, and was thinking on it, was when we were able to talk about what we liked, and as a result I think we ended up meeting some new films because of it. Jarv championed Hawk the Slayer and now others have seen it. HOD went as far as to actually send us the stuff he raved about. So, I've chewed my way through most of the reccomendations out there(The Hustler's Devils on the Doorstep is on it's way), I already know Michael Bay sucks, and no force on Earth could convince me the current batch of existing Pixar sucks, so give me soemthing I can work with. Lets hear some recommendations? -
Sssshhhhhhay there shhhhhhhhonny.......you get that shhhhhhhecurity depossshit?
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I too really liked Beowulf, and saw it in 3-D and it was indeed awesome.
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I mentioned it earlier, go watch it! Its on Netflicks play now list, so you don't even have to wait. I can't believe I hadn't heard about this movie until now.
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And Pinocchio was three.
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reach inside and ask that crying inner child. He'll tell you. Altogether now: "BRIIIIIGHT EYEEEES"
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All the time about SEC football.
I was a sportswriter at the time, so he would go on and on.
Great guy, but just had that little whistle when he talked. -
something we can agree completely on Danny. A brilliant little movie. You would never get a movie like that these days,except maybe from Pixar(albeit not traditionally animated). Those films were pushing the medium and telling great stories. Bluth did the same in the 80s, well up until, I dunno, All Dogs Go to Heaven. Pixar is doing it now, and have been since Toy Story. They are having a great run of it, and with Up on it's way, they don't show signs of stopping. The nature of lists is that some things should be included and some left out, but perhaps an article recognizing the animators and their contributions would have been a better use of the article.
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what is that? Im heading over to netflix to find out. Thanks Series.
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If all the Wallace and Grommit films made it I shall be unimpressed.
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....thats what made it great. Thats what made a lot of those old classics great...they were pretty small, intimate stories. I just can't stand the animated rule of today's films where it always has to end with giant action set piece. Its dull.
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is it wrong to want to shag the little mermaid?
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as long as you don't mind "Barnacle Balls" afterward. It washes out with window cleaner.
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Read up and saw what I missed and the convs talking about the Bates stuff and what not making the TB pretty exclusive. It is true, but if you guys want to continue the story, why not set up z-dive story and add to it there. You expend your creative, umm, juices, and those of us who get a chuckle from it can still read it. And this TB can still be accessible to potential newcomers, as opposed to something so exclusive you can't step in it. You can post it here, but I didn't want people to stop posting what they wanted because they felt like it would derail something. Just a suggestion, of course.
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What do most Brits think of Austin Powers movies?
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Sep 26, 2008 11:02:13 AM CDT
The Bates jokes have already been murdered....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....you can't just divert it somewhere else. Its been discussed far too much. Humor is a spur of the moment thing. Its all about timing. Its like telling someone, "Hey....that funny comment you were just about to make....can you hold on to that and save it for tomorrow night so you don't make our guests uncomfortable?" Once the moment is gone....its gone forever like melted foot prints in the snow.
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HOD, I havent watched this yet, but it's a mockumentary about frozen entree enthusiasts. You might want to check it out. I'm gonna watch it now.
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go over to z and write it down.
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Im not about to rave on it, but it was wierd, no?
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was a great animated film. They captured the essence of the novel well in animated form. Did anyone here see The Plague Dogs? I always liked that one too, but it was one of the odd cases where they made an animated adaptation of something and made the ending of the cartoon darker and bleaker than the novel's ending. Odd, and obviously not something disney would ever do.
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animated Shardik movie? Would it even work?
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but I was about 6 Austin Powers- generally we like them. Personally, I like the first and hate the other 2. Because of fat bastard. He's just not funny.
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Wallace and Gromit case of the warerabbit was on the list, but Chicken run was better. I'm sorry but I really did not like Chicken Run, I just found it boring. And I've know about Aardman for a long time, I live in England right around the time of Wallace and Gromit coming out. I got the first three stories and the movie. The first three are great and the movie is excellent as well. Though that show they had can't remember the name. The one where they animated talking animals to people talking about mundane stuff was ok. But it gets kind of boring after a while.
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is for anyone that likes mockumentaries. So far Christopher Guest has ruled, and this one comes close to his level. But while Guest movies feel like movies, this one really feels like a real life documentary. I kept forgetting that it was all fake. Maybe think that its real and it'll make it that much better? Also its only like and hour 20 min. Its for anyone that's ever been into collecting.
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That Chicken Run was higher up on the list then Case of the Warerabbit, not that it was better. I didn't understand Americas fascination with Chicken Run. That's probably the way most people feel about Rickey Gervias right now. I think he is funny as hell, but most Americans don't get him. Can't wait for Little Britain America this Sunday....except I don't have HBO, to the torrents. And yes Jarv I know you don't like Lil'Britain.
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Good call Series. It was funny and like Guest, never mocks people to the point where you think they hate their characters. Which is cool.
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I wasn't totally sure about it, since no one else has heard of it.
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Anyone who wanted to see this, it just showed up on the asian horror site. See what The Hustler was raving bout:
http://www.asian-horror-movies.com/dj.php -
As a Brit - I'm with Jarv on LB. I just don't see what's so funny. Some of it raises a smile, but no laughs.The Fast Show, on the other hand - don't know if anyone has seen this series. Going back a few years now but that one DID crack me up regularly.
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Exactly one week from this moment I will be at home with a bottle of rum watching Sukiyaki Wastern Django, The Fall, Mongol and possibly Red Baron if I can find subs for that one. The wife and daughter will be away in Florida so it's an entire weekend of living like a bachelor and catching up with all the summer movies I missed, both foreign and Hollywood.
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The score for the Cards vs Jets will be:Cards 2Jets 2Yep its a contests between powerhouses I tell ya. Hapless is a word that comes to mind. USC getting beat made me happy. It made a bad day good when I learned about that. Memo to powerhouse college teams, DO NOT PLAY ON THURSDAYS! Nothing good comes from it. Its games like this that makes college ball so much fun to watch.
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You're probably right with the score. The worse game I was ever involved in was a 2-0 game we lost where our snapped snapped the ball over the head of our punter back through the endzone. Ah...memories...One would think it opens the door for Oklahoma and whatever SEC team survives the meat grinder of conference play. And college football blows the NFL out of the water.It's not raining now, so I'll be heading out to the Met game tonight.
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our SNAPPER snapped...Should have zigged where I zagged...
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Is that getting a U.S. dvd release soon? Does anybody know?
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It was still entertaining, and I still like it for the most part, but it really didn't hold up as well for me when I rewatched it. I think you're right about it being almost too stylistic. It runs a little too long, and I don't think a single character really got developed. They were all pretty one note. Sort of like Machine Girl, it's a fun one to marvel at with friends over beer for the sheer aesthetic value, but it doesn't really evolve much past that. The movie is really more of a 2.5 for me after seeing it again. Subtitles would help too.
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Go Mets! I might have just doomed them with my endorsement, sorry.USC had a hard road to the National Championship even without the loss, since the PAC 10 blows goats this year. Its nice to see the Yankees of the college football world take an embarrassing loss.I agree College ball is much better then the No Fun League.
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to piss it all away:no clutch hitting (except for last night)and the irrepressible bullpen.I just hoping that Uconn can win at Louisville tonight to show that they can win a big conference game on the road. As long as they go to another bowl game this year, they can really start building the program.
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Tomorrow I get Devils on the Doorstep. Looking forward to it.
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Tomorrow I get Devils on the Doorstep. Looking forward to it.
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definitely let me know what you think
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But you'll get it from me before it sees a North American DVD release. And I have a subtitled version of Western Django.
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Add Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer to your watch list. I think you'll get a kick out of it. 100% practical goofy monster fx. Not as hardcore as Pete Jackson or Sam Raimi, but a fun little monster flick anyway. It's about a guy who has anger management issues and realizes those are actually his strengths when fighting monsters.
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I found Negative Happy, Chainsaw Edge but minus the subs. Arrgh.
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Tadanobu Asano is the man. let me know what you think of Devils on the Doorstep too. It's one of my very favorite films and I really hope you enjoy it after the last recommendation got you so jazzed. It's not the same thing at all, but it's definitely worth checking out.
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If not, it's another one I highly recommend. Not as good as Devils in my opinion, but still pretty cool.
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Welcome...
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is an interesting film. Im definitely in the positive on it, but it's one I think I admire more than I like. I really was rooting for it, but on first swipe through, it felt a bit just out of reach. Like a beautiful painting that is behind glass, but the glass itself is smudgy and hasn't been cleaned in a while, so you are looking at a thing of true art through a dirty, obscured pane.
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I loved the part where he was imprisoned.
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Gamera Presley..
Hunka hunka burning town...
We can't go on together with gamma-ray eyes..
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CRAPPY.
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We have lost a truly amazing talent and even greater person.
I'm also a car nut and his presence in the auto racing world will be missed just as bad.
Car and Driver did a great article a few years ago about a day in the life of his motorhome and the staff that preps everything during a race weekend. -
just about ruined my morning. He is a legend of cinema and he will be missed. Butch Cassidy is one of my favorite westerns, and he just owns that movie, more so than Robert Redford. Hell, he stole the show in just about any movie he was in.
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rocks as a movie..In fact, so does..
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although the egg eating scene still makes me cringe.
Always found his crime that landed him there a bit odd.
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I LOVE this movie. One of the few Newman movies I watch regularly. CHL is the other big one.
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The Hudsucker Proxy. Truly one of the better Coen bros. movies.
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An odd and not terribly great scifi, but it might be the only one Newman ever did.
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The Color of Money. Newman and the Cruiser, together..
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I was delighted to see him in that one, and the character animators did a nice job of capturing his personality in that car.
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I hadn't even seen this until a year ago, at the behest of my coworker. A great sports flick.
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Nobody's Fool. One of my favorites of his later stuff.
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Had a decent role in that too..Looking at his filmography, it looks like he really did choose his roles. And as the Hustler said, he was almost always the best part of whatever movie he was in.
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You are never really dead if your face is on salad dressing. God Speed Mr. Newman. God Speed.
I'm informing my wife we will go with the Newman's creamy ceasar tonight.
Seriously, you were awesome. So long. -
to me. That role and racing is how I think of Paul Newman. The Salad dressing isn't all that bad either.
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Saw this, Jonah. You're right in that it wasn't brilliant, but it was pure sf and at least it's got a rounded depiction of a future society.Also, I can't walk past eggs in the supermarket without grinning to myself.
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I've sort of returned from the dead. I missed the whole week. What's shaking?
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I gave you a call out at the other place and you show up here!
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Now if it will work for Fred then we'll be back in the swing of things.
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First thing I see is the news about Paul Newman. That just bites. I wanted to go back and undo the knowledge.
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Are you over here or over there?
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I'll talk to you over there. Less confusing that way.
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I am a huge fan of Michel Gondry, with Be Kind Rewind and Eternal Sunshine tying for my favorite, and Science of Sleep, and now this movie tying as my least favorite. I also love Charlie Kaufman's writing, so I figured this would be right up my alley. The movie has a great cast, and some great visual flairs courtesy of Gondry, but I didn't really like it all that much. There is so much in it, and a lot of the jokes just fell flat for me. The best part of course, was the wild man being educated by doing things like pretending to watch an opera and singing "I Gotta Crow" in a Peter Pan costume. I also really dug the ending, and i love those two mice. I give it a 6 out of 10.Hopefully, if anybody reads this tomorrow and has seen the movie, I can get some more input. Will anybody even still be on here? I think I'm going to watch another movie. My choices are Strictly Ballroom, Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer or The Professionals. I'm sure you all know which one I'm going to watch. (Here's a hint, I would give my left leg to be a member of the Sons of Lee Marvin).
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Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance. I think I still prefer Oldboy so far in the Vengeance trilogy, but we'll see how Lady plays out once I watch that sucker. And for those who want to know how I feel like the Mets...well after the great game that Santana pitched on Saturday, I was like that dude who thought he got his vengeance for his daughter. But lo and behold, the terrorist group shows up and stabs me repeatedly via the bullpen giving up back to back homers today. Fuckers.Uconn, 5-0. Xi, it appears the Cardinals have a shittier D than the Jets. Plus they were a little bit butterfingers today. Muchas gracias Cardinals.
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Not sure how the Bears are beating the Eagles, but whatever...And I haven't seen Human Nature, so I'm no help Kung Fu.
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but I still think Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance is a better film. That trilogy is still my favorite though. Probably even more than the likes of Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. They are just incredible movies, with deeply moving stories, and ridiculously good performances.So I have work at 8 tomorrow and class after that, so I changed my mind about The Professionals since it's about two hours long and I have to go to bed. Instead, I'm watching Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer. It's only about 80 minutes. I'll be sure to let you guys know what I thought before I go to bed.
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kungfu
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i wouldn't say i like b movies. i'm not a person who gets a perverse pleasure out of a shit movie. but i love a type of movie (trying to name it) with a tight economical script. usually these are writter director ones. we are kinda talking one room dramas here, rececently south of heaven and 3 rooms, but i love clerks, mallrats, res dogs. i also love movies like friday the 13th. i wouldn't say i like b movies. but i love clever movies. trying to remember a rodrigius quote, he said some thing like, if you want to make you own movie write about what you have. I had a turtle and a guitar so it wrote about it. i find that stuff clever and i love it. here is an example. i don't like monster stories. i look forward to our project though because sometime limitations (such as budget) helps creativity.
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what a disturbing movie. That was one of the scariest things I have ever seen, mostly because of the stark reality of the whole thing. It feels like it really. happens everywhere, and it's a shame that it probably does. It was really well done though. The acting was excellent, and the movie was extremely well executed all around. Still, I don't know if I could ever watch it again. While I thought the movie did an excellent job of portraying such a disturbed individual in such a realistic, nearly documentary manner, it did almost too good of a job. The movie is a masterpiece of the horror genre.8.5 out of 10
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The other vengeance movies, because I can remember the plot to Oldboy but I don't remember much from the other two besides green haired death dude, big plate of tofu and trying some dude down to get the shit kicked out of. Also I need to honor HOD and fucking watch I'm a Cyborg....damn fucking TiVo wasting my valuable movie watching time.
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I own it, but I didn't really like it. Didn't really find it disturbing either. I thought it was overall cheesy.
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It's a film to admire rather than like. Certainly disturbing and I don't think Michael Rooker has ever been better.
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Jarv watched Blade Runner and The Presidential Debates. Sorry guys, Obama= Tony Blair. And that is not a good thing. Anyhoo, I couldn't bring myself to watch blood diamond after the scathing Happy Feet remark, but I'm steeling myself for it tonight.
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Having watched the Rugby (Guinness Premiership) this weekend I've come to the conclusion that the ELV's are fucking horrible and are killing the game. Have either of you 2 seen them?
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I wonder what TB we should move to next. Ordinarily I use this time to fill the thread with the wisdom of Jarv, but it's a lovely day and I can't be arsed.
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seriously, we always get days in September and May that we should get in July and August.
I think the Calendar is wrong instead. -
is always worth remembering. Even if I only do it to keep the TB in the top 10. If I get banned again I'm coming back as FortuneCookieMonster.
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painfully overrated unfunny shit. Vicky Pollard raises a smile first time you see her, but after that it's fucking dreadful. If you think that a fat, bald gay guy in drag and an effette tall twat also in drag talking just to stuff in a catchphrase is funny then you'll love it. The fast show did it better years ago, and Harry and Paul is doing it better now. Fuck that. Same goes to Catherine FUCKING Tate. Dressing in drag does not automatically equal funny.
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Answering for role call before my bedtime. Have a great day, guys.
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Whatever happened to Alexei Sayle? Has he been in any series lately? Haven't seen him in anything in ages.
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Right. Got into ZHura, and having some sort of Brainfart how to put up my idea. Bollox.Will get it sorted. I'm normally quite computer literate.
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Fact. Alexei Sayle is still around. I think he's more of an author now.
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those alternative comedians from the 80's are now pretty fucked that "Thatch" has gone, and they all whored themselves to NuLabour (TM) in the mistaken belief that they were some sort of socialist hope so are now mostly just grumpy semi-tory twats. The worst by far is Ben Elton. He went from being foul-mouthed iconoclast to writing a West End musical based on the works of Queen. Queen! For fuck's sake. Fucking hypocrite. It isn't possible to get any more establishment than that.
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I remember him from some television shows and movies he did years ago. I always thought he was hilarious. Gotta see if I can find some of his writing.
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cracked it!
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I think Ben Elton was a writer on the shows I remembered Alexei Sayle from.
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He is now a twat of the highest order.
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Posted idea. Now that my cherry's popped I feel much better.
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Am I single-handedly going to push this over 1500?
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ALL BY MYSELF DON'T WANNA BE ALL BY MY SE-ELF
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I cna't even argue properly with myself. Mind you, seeing as I had some sort of mini-meltdown on friday that isn't surprising.
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Obama was much too reserved and McCain is a borderline foam-at-the-mouth warmonger.I finished watching the John Adams miniseries. Anyone else see this thing? It's bizarre to see a President walking around in public by himself with no security detail.You have a good weekend, Jarv?Pillow, the Mets need to be fired from a cannon into a wall of #2 pencils. Two consecutive years? Bah.At least Favre gave the Jets a day they will never forget.I have never seen Portrait of a Serial Killer.It's been said before but I'll say it again. You'll be hard pressed to find a better trilogy than the Vengeance one.
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*rubs chin*Interesting.Although I have zero curiosity vested in the comic/cartoon.
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John Adams starts here soon, may even be tonight. Is it any good? Weekend was a bit "meh" but I was so knackered from my rotten job that I needed veg time. The Vengeance Trilogy kicks ass. Fact.
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and Branagh has been shit for a long time- that Japanese As You Like It was horrible. Mind you, it is one of Shakespeare's lesser plays.
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hey jarv..love the singing. See you got into Z-dive. Good for you. Things are finally starting to get moving over there.
Brannagh will forever be eclipsed by that great version of Hamlet he did. Ever since though, egggh...
Anyone have the misfortune of sitting through How to Kill your Neighbor's Dog?
John Adams was a great miniseries.
Saw Knocked Up finally. Felt like John Hughes meets Kevin Smith, and inferior to both. Stil, I laughed. -
He thinks Thor is the "Grandest Material Branagh's ever done". I'm used to his hyperbole, but really....
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Since you love your job so much:
http://www.marriedtothesea.com/092408/interview-over-lunch.gif -
if you get a chance, check out the thing I posted yesterday at z-dive. Your input would be useful.
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I think I may have. Not sure though.
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have some sort of Egg timer thing that says how long a wait before you get the film. If you've got a grey one then that is a short wait and if you have a red one that is a long wait. Army of Darkness DOESN'T FUCKING HAVE ONE. So why won't they send it?
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What's it under, Jonah?
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Giamatti, Wilkinson, Linney, Sewell and Dillane all give the performances of their lives. And David Morse as George Washington may be the best character transformation ever. And considering the subject matter, it moves along very briskly.Came close to watching Tremors over the weekend. It's been about 10 years. I'm thinking of waiting until next weekend and watching it back to back with Big Trouble in Little China.
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Thats funny..Saturday night my wife and I put it in, and then took it back out, because we remembered we had borrowed Knocked Up from a co-worker and wanted to get it back to him.
So, it's on hold til next weekend. -
magical.
-
...for the first time in many years. I have the S-Mart ending version. What's this alternate ending people were speaking of recently?
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under scripts
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has discovered about Jack Brooks, Starship Troopers, and Bubba Ho Tep, so has retaliated by putting Black Orpheus on high priority. Damn it.
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Ash takes some magic potion to go to sleep, but fucks up and counts 8 instead of 7 causing him to oversleep and wakeup at the end of the world.
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Cheers
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Thats a good trade off. Black Orpheus is actually a good movie, so you win/win.
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Remember Fred?
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Sep 29, 2008 8:28:37 AM CDT
Is it an ending worth buying a new edition over?
by hawaiian organ donor
Jarv, I hope I didn't mess things up by talking about Bubba Ho-Tep last week and sparking your interest. Nothing worse that incurring the wrath of a petite Latina. My dad's side of the family is full of them. Talk about some interesting holidays.
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Good to have you back.How goes things?
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I watched it at about 2 a.m. Sunday morning.
Forgot how entertaining it is.
Also forgot about where the guy was sitting up on the tower and they were trying to figure why he just starved to death.
"Guess someone chased him up there."
"You mean someone not scared of a 30-30 rifle?"
Great movie. -
She's generally OK and seeing as Blade Runner (arguably) and Blood Diamond were her choices I'm good for a bit.
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Thought maybe Dirk turned on you and put you in intensive care or something.
Good to have you back.
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Welcome back.
HOD, I dont think the alternate ending is worth buying a new version. I prefer the s-mart ending,. but some of the other added scenes are worth seeing. -
No it isn't. As much as I love AoD in general it really isn't a patch on the "Shop Smart, shop S-mart" ending.
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Sep 29, 2008 8:38:46 AM CDT
Hello, Hawaiian Organ Donor. Hello, Lost Jarv
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Fred is doing fine. But last week was the week from H-E-Double Hockey sticks! Pardon Fred's French Canadian. We lost power in our data center, so it was a week of restoration and recovery - could not access the internets from work even if Fred had time! Then, Fred's home laptop decided it was the perfect time to commit suicide. On top of that, Dirk placed an emergency call from South Ossetia. Apparently, he got involved with the Uzbekistan mafia, who in turn were involved with the Russsian mafia. Dirk is being tight-lipped - or whatever Amoebas have, about the whole matter. But Fred had to go into Ninja mode and pull a rescue operation. Dirk not fessing up on all the details, but that whole Georgian invasion from a few weeks back was triggered by the Russian mafia wanting to get Dirk. He owes Putin big time. So, that was Fred's week. Anything interesting here?
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Sep 29, 2008 8:43:47 AM CDT
Looking at Amazon, there only appear to be two versions...
by hawaiian organ donor
...of AoD although there are countless editions. The director's cut is apparently grainy and almost unwatchable so I think I'm just going to stick with what I have.Sorry about your issues, Fred. Things have been very quiet here the past week. The group contributed more to the political TB than anything else it seems.
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What gives? Just kidding. Maybe you need a disguise for Dirk. Like an amoeba sized fake mustache?
You didnt miss anything really. Highlight of last week was going over to the Moby Dick thread and pretending we thought it was a great idea. -
It's going to get quieter and quieter everywhere apart from Politcs until after the Election.
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It's going to get quieter and quieter everywhere apart from Politcs until after the Election.
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Sep 29, 2008 8:51:14 AM CDT
Hello, ChittyChittyGangBang. Hello Jonah Echo
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Fred was in Ninja Fred mode last week. Lots of maimed Uzbek and Russian mafia soldiers left in his wake.
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Sorry. Suppose it helps the numbers though.
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Unfortunately. Fred did not have time to work on story for the other place. But Fred has ideas. It might come down to re-working a gothic vampire/comedy that Fred wrote a few years ago.
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Is the directors cut of AoD unwatchable? Fuck, I'd better change it.
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where will have met our 1500 qouta. Usually we go someplace else before finishing.
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Sep 29, 2008 9:02:52 AM CDT
Fred likes the idea of Asgard based Thor movie
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
It eliminates the whole 'Demi-God in a modern setting' problem that Marvel was going to have marketing a Thor movie, and it also allows for a greater fantasy element. Fred not too sure about Kenneth Branaugh, but what the heck?
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...is grainy and the sound is dismal. So I'm just going to avoid it. No need to spoil a wonderful memory.So the economic news this morning has me worried. Apparently a major bank in England is on a verge of collapsing, the Dow is down 300 points, Wachovia (a huge bank here in the southeast) just went under and had to be bought out by Citibank and financial markets in Asia are plummeting. Grab your ankles, gentlemen.
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Now there can be a true Thor movie.
Will save us 30 minutes of Thor walking around and staring at tv's in store windows and smashing the hood of a Yellow Dragon (a taxi to the rest of us).
I mean I appreciate a good fish-out-of-water story as much as the next guy, but not for Thor. -
Ash should always think he's smoother than he really is, so him fucking up at the end is really more appropriate and in line with the character. Much like he said the words, "most of them". Definitely a "n" word. Nickel..nectarine...
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it isn't a bank per se- it's more like Fannie Mae
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by the end of AoD, he is fairly smooth- but still incompetent. And it means that we wouldn't have the "hail to the king" line.
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not only is a modern day Thor a bad idea, but the definitive version with The Hulk was made in the 70's "Summon your troll, so I may fight him again"
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Watching AoD last weekend had me wondering how Raimi was able to make something as dreadful as SM3.
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I've recently come to the conclusion that Spiderman 1 and 2 aren't actually as good as I thought on first viewing. Especially Spiderman 2. I know this is a bit blasphemous, but they're, erm well, slow.
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for me. I loved that movie for far more things than just that one line.Hawaiian, I have the sleepytime one.
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I just don't see how it will work. I would like to be proved wrong, however.
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cherry on the icing on the cake. What I mean is that by the time you get to the end, Ash has already trained and commanded and Army, kicked unholy amount of Deadite ass and nailed a princess. He isn't as incompetent as he was in Evil Dead 2. I like the idea of him telling this story to a group of strangers like he's hot shit on a silver platter and then it panning out to him working in his crappy retail job. It really fits the character for me.
-
...the S-Mart ending makes the film for me. It is easily the best 3 minutes of the entire picture. It has the best lines, best action, and best she-hag bouncing off a trampoline. The first time I saw the film it had the original sleepy-time ending and I didn't think it was that great. I saw it again a few years later with the new ending and I was stunned by how much better it made the entire film.
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Fucking kicked ass.
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A near masterpiece? What is so good about it?
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Some doofus in that Thor thread recommended Tripe-H (I only know him from Blade 3, but allegedly he's a wrestler) as Thor. The sheer stupidity of casting a wrestler in a Branagh movie is just hilarious. Even one about a Norse god. How shit!
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Chiwetel Ejiofor was fantastic and it's really well written. Not to mention the fight scenes kick ass.
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if you think the best 3 minutes of AoD is at the very end. Please take that back. I will now await your answer praying for your salvation through the guidance of 2for2true.
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I know Mamet got some flak for the editing of the fight scenes but honestly I thought they were outstanding and did not look overtly choreographed. At least it wasn't shaky cam.
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...when I saw Eagle Eye came in the top spot. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. That means at least 2 more years of that little fuck! And of course these studio cunt rags attribute some of Transformers and Indy IV financial success to him. So they are eating whipped cream off his asshole at this very moment....
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I also loved that it had Mamet's noir quality but it was like a modern day samurai film.
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with your reccomendation and HOD's Ill check it out. It's up next on the queue anyway, once I watch Devils on the Doorstep.
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sounds good Hobo. I was talking bout Redbelt.
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Think they marketed it enough? Fuck. I have seen nothing but EE ads everywhere for a fucking month.
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Instead of heading out to battle, he can twist his head while having a confused expression and eat a plate of hot dogs.
Maybe battle Seagal for last Philly Cheese Steak on catering table.
Geez he's gained some weight since Adventures in Babysitting. -
Vincent D'Onofrio takes on Tom Hulce. TO THE DEATH!!
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You try to consume that many Scandinavian virgins and not put on some pounds man. Lay off Vince. He may be big...but he is still flexible.
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I have no opinion of the movie as I haven't seen it but it looks exactly like the kind of distraction audiences are looking for right now with the world going to hell.
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Do it Saw style and watch the ranch dressing and gravy flow from their open wounds!
My money is on D'Onofrio, as he outchins Hulce by a donut. -
...it still makes me sad. They can go ahead and claim victory with a 30 mill opening weekend. They probably spent 4 times that amount fist fucking us with advertisements for the past month.
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I enjoyed it for the most part, and I guessed the plot/villain very early on. It aint no biggie if you know beforehand really - not the way Harry made it out to be. There are some implausible elements, but it is a movie for crying out loud. Still, it was a pastiche of action movies, and I enjoyed it. Until we got to the ending. Danny, whatever you do, leave before the end of the movie, unless you want to experience Shia in all his silly 'hero' glory, a'la Transformers. Why do writers feel the need to foist a 'heroic' Shia on us, being put into the most motarded/implausible situation possible? The ending did not ruin the flick, but it certainly had me shaking my head in disbelief that they could not come up with another way to make Shia the hero. Just plain stupid.
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So, Dirk is responsible for the invasion of Georgia? Damn, that little Amoeba can stir the shit!
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Sep 29, 2008 10:28:59 AM CDT
shame on anyone who invested in Shia's crack habit....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....you're killing the guy!! He's just a kid and you are all killing him!! He needs to go back to school for fuck's sake!!
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Sep 29, 2008 10:29:11 AM CDT
Chitty in Honor of Thor! I say Thee Neigh means Neigh!
by toadkillerdog
Neigh!!!!
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Sep 29, 2008 10:29:30 AM CDT
If the global financial meltdown isn't a sign...
by hawaiian organ donor
...the end is near, then a Kirk Cameron picture cracking the top 5 certainly is.Neigh means neigh.
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no, my peoples, I do not. Damn it, when will they accept that the little turd is not the next Tom Hanks and is certainly not an Action hero. Fuck.
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He just lays on his back and belches out "Reverse Cowgirl" between bites of pizza rolls stuffed into a meatball sub.
The Scandinavian virgins just nod and start squeezing their butt cheeks together with every pounding thrust.
They don't even turn around as they feel bits of warm food hit their back, powered by spewing giggles and burps. -
Eagle Eye is just an alright movie9even in IMAX, with a doofy ending. It was pretty anti-climactic I thought. The plot was both interesting and implausible when it was revealed. It's a wait for dvd all the way.
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...he would have added a provision in the bank bail-out that immediately called for Shia's public hanging as Holes is projected on a massive screen behind him.
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Where do you come up with this stuff?
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KC definitley deserves a Neigh!!!!!
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....nasty!! Warm food hitting their back. I can see Tom Hulce with a 22 year old chick bent over in a hotel room and every few seconds a big chunk pizza smacks her in the back .
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Huh?
-
...I just read about that on IMDB. It was the big shock of the weekend....came in #5!! A Christian film about a firefighter.
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it beat Burn After Reading. Hahahahaha.
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posted something on z-dive I want you to review for me when you get the chance..same for the other z-peeps here.
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wasn't it in Rules of Attraction?
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I don't even have to sit here and think.
It just flows out, sort of like the Frosty spigot at Wendy's as D'Onofrio and Hulce lay there with their mouths open under it.
I even laugh at my own shit as I type. -
Yeah, I'd rather die in the blaze. Far less painful.
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yuo didnt like Holes? That was a great kid's movie. Granted, it's partly because the book it was based off was good.
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you haven't a big enough hose to put out the fire where you're going you fucking hypocrite.
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Holy shit!! Kirk's movie made over 6 million....and the budget was 500k!! There is a box office champ.
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for Hulce and Donofrio called Denny's Crashers? "I'd like a Grand Slam meal and I want Carla to provide the slam." as they point at the waitress across the room.
-
Can you imagine her leaving and he says "Not so fast my dear..." and grabs a few random slices off her back.
The poor girl doesn't even turn around for fear of making eye contact and Hulce realizing Pizza Hut is on the way again and he has a $100 dollar bill still laying on the nightstand. -
I'm just saying.....if any film played at his hanging, that seems the most appropriate for some reason.
-
made more money than the second X-Files pick by like 2 million. Wow.
-
I vote they play Peter Gabriel's Sledgehammer as they dismount their Rascal scooters and push open the doors in slow motion.
The poor cook looks over and punches his time card back in, right before he starts crying... -
The thought of him walking into a Denny's is truly terrifying. He is the only guy that will order Grand Slam with extra grease on the side. You know where they cover a naked chick with sushi at special events? Image the size of Hulce's eyes when he walks into the room!! His facial expression would look like he is giving birth. Probably the same look of agony every time he takes a dump. -
I never much liked Spidey 1. I loved Spidey 2 when i saw it at theater. I even loved it on DVD the first time. But watching it a few years later, you are absolutely right, it drags. X-2 is still my number 1 SuperHero movie, followe th TDK.
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we better be careful before Mozarts_Neckfat shows up here and starts chiding us.
-
The Passion of the Christ, The Chronicles of Narnia and now Fireproof.
They have been discussing Fireproof at church, otherwise I would not have heard about it.
It also playing at all the cinemas around here. -
They would have time to tell him it was on a chick.
Poor girl would drown in Hulce's tummy, neck deep in ranch-flavored bile.
Also the creature from the trash room in Star Wars would make an appearence before she died. -
haven't heard of it at all, and being in christian circles, that's sort of odd. Thing is I stopped paying attention to most christian "entertainment" years ago.
I though POTC and Narnia were both legitimately good movies, but most of the stuff that gets churned out is just low-rent proselytizing that only the target audience of church goers can relate to. -
The best word of mouth for free is the church. If you get pastors behind you - Chitty that is a joke waiting for your special talents, then you have a huge marketing audience. Perry has skipped into mainstream, but he started out as a playwright whose word of mouth Christian oriented plays struck a chord. KC has been doing the same thing for years.
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I find that so bizarre.
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This one is getting very slow.
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my church doesn't but I've heard of it being done. One of the oddest things I heard of was an Easter sunday service where the congregation took communion while pics of Jim Caviezel in his POTC getup played on the screen. That story sort of bothered me.
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...I'm friends with a cousin of his. And once his film career died and he became a Christian he pulled that Scientology tactic of deserting your entire family that isn't as hardcore as you. Literally overnight he stopped talking to almost everyone in his family including his sister. He showed up at a few family gatherings and walked around handing out little pamphlets from his church and then left.
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The ones that do so believe that most mainstream entertainment is vulgar and anti-christian - or at least anti-christian values
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There isnt much appetizing out there. Honestly, if it weren't an OBIT, the Paul Newman one is one of the few I'd even want to see stay on the main page. Barring that, I'd suggest Mori's Fantastic Fest report. He is one of the few who doesnt mind us haunting his threads. Thoughts?
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I thought you meant Pirates at first....I was like, what the fuck? Thats considered Christian?
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yea, sadly that is a tactic many take. However, not all christians are like that. In fact most of the ones I know aren't.
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Yes, Jack Sparrow is a christ figure. You didn't get the memo?
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Yeah I understand that. But the idea of praying for financial success of a film is crazy to me. I wished somebody prayed for a Jurassic Park IV. Damn I want that movie. I want it like Tom Hulce wants to lick pizza sauce off the crack of a Thai hooker's ass.
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Forget Kirk Cameron, whatever happened to Boner?
Wouldn't it be weird if he was a Satanist or something?
Irony!!! -
Sep 29, 2008 11:08:41 AM CDT
Tom Hulce DOES lick pizza sauce off a thai hookers ass
by toadkillerdog
He does that backstage of very show he directs - it is his 'good luck' ritual. Actors and their superstitions.
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Can't even remember the name of that show.
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I have heard everything from Keira Knightly starring to the original cast coming back.
I really don't care who shows up, I just dinosaurs onscreen and now!! -
I heard he also uses the same condom for a week straight. And he even keeps it on in between pizza massage sessions.
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How bout a movie where KC and Boner battle, good vs. the evil and Alan Thicke plays God?
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I say we hightail it out of here
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Sep 29, 2008 11:12:09 AM CDT
Growing Pains.......Family Ties was much better...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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I used to watch it, but never did see the final episode or the reunion episodes.
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lets hear a neigh for agreement!
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Wouldn't he be the ultimate spokesman for Viagra now?
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Thanks Chitty. Off to Mori-land!
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Cinema, and the duty to recommend cinema is the one 2true church of the Holy Trinity: The church of chang. Any other "religion" that dares to try this shall be smitten with a flying possum attack and suffer the full wrath of pencil jihad.
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Over to the Mori fantastic fest TB
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and so close to the magic 1500
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HE thinks he helped this TB. But who was the one typing at night when nobody was here? Who was the one who put us back on the list when it was mysteriously gone? Actually, it was probably both of us, in two different time zones.High five
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I sFred up to the task?
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Sep 29, 2008 2:10:25 PM CDT
Ninja Fred is back and stealthier than ever!
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
No one must know what Fred is up to.
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Fred sure Chitty Chitty and Dannyglovers would say something risue about that
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You must have focus and determination.
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see the ball...be the ball...make, make the ball.
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It's a marathon, not a sprint.
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In caucasus mountains of Georgia!
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Win or lose...Hit the booze.
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must...reach...1500
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Oh, not that Georgia!
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"MISSION ACCOMPLISHED".
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I bet she's real flexible.
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They are good people to know when an exorcism is needed! Fred knows!
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Only 35 posts to go!
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I suppose I should search the site to see if there were any reviews. Don't know how I missed them.
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Sep 29, 2008 2:19:34 PM CDT
Ooo, Fred has a secret helper in Just Pillow Talk
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Thank you
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They are apologizing for keeping me on hold. *hugs for At&t*You're the nicest telephone company in the whole wide world. For reals.
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Fred not see anything this weekend
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1500, it's a coming!
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but it's something I'll keep in mind for netflix...eventually.
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Fred finshed Dragon Never sleeps, now reading Mute
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Thy 1500 will not be denied! So sayeth thy pillow speak!
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Fred does not even know what it is about!
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Sep 29, 2008 2:25:36 PM CDT
Fred was sorry to hear about your Mets, Just Pillow Talk
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Fred's Steelers play tonight. Fred has popcorn, nachos, and baloney samiches ready!
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1500 will be accomplished! So sayeth Just Pillow Talk and humble Fred.
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Doth not know what thy bullpen doeseth to fans?
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Perhaps Ben needs to shave?
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crime against the internet. I should really just cancel the high speed whores and get someone else.
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Can Fred and his ally attain the goal?
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and do I want to do that? Of course now, which is why everyone's balls are in the proverbial internet jar.
-
Sep 29, 2008 2:33:07 PM CDT
Steelers offensive line be truly offensive!
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Fred can not deny this.
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Fred knows.
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Fred can see the finish line!
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Anything is possible.
-
But have not addressed offensive line in two years! They knew Faneca was leaving two years ago, and still did nothing but re-sign a backup lineman. Fred hopes Ben have better health insurance that Fred does.
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And my Jets are the only team that can go up 34-0, and nearly squander it even though the opposing team had seven fucking turnovers. Riddle me that.
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Fred is in awe!
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It is taking longer and longer each time to load.
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The immortal one is very pleased.
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The immortal one is very pleased.
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He is courageous, but he gets dinged up easily being so tall. Darn shame too, this could have been Steelers year with good protection.
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But the webpage infidels will not stop us from our mission.
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Typing...getting...harder...must..hold...on...
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Take one for team
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while this loaded.
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Yes!
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and it is done.
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Fred is happy.
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strange.
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Thank you for all the help Just Pillow Talk, and to Chitty Chitty for the words of encouragement!
-
You have done well, grasshopppers.
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