Aug. 21, 2008, 3:16 p.m. CST
I'd hoped that it'd at least be a fun popcorn flick. Ah well.
Aug. 21, 2008, 3:18 p.m. CST
a sea of flaccid members as far the eye could see
Aug. 21, 2008, 3:23 p.m. CST
Of course this movie blows diseased monkey sputum. No doubt.
Aug. 21, 2008, 3:24 p.m. CST
by Machine Gun Joe Viterbo
Aug. 21, 2008, 3:25 p.m. CST
come on Beaks, we ALL know it is going to be bad. But do most of us care? nope
Aug. 21, 2008, 3:28 p.m. CST
Aug. 21, 2008, 3:31 p.m. CST
I was watching total Recall Recently. I had forgotten how incredibly bonkers it was. Now there's a man who knows how to bring pulpiness into the mainstream and give it three boobs.
Aug. 21, 2008, 3:33 p.m. CST
I was at a convention when I was younger and he was signining autographs with Jovovich. I was probably 14 15 at the time. When it was my turn, I basically told him I had seen all his movies..Magnolia, Boogie Nights, etc. He thanked me and when I got home I realized it wasnt him. Two weeks later he changed it.
Aug. 21, 2008, 3:42 p.m. CST
by vic twenty
He is crap. His films are crap. Just because there are worse directors out there (the notorious Dr. Boll) does not excuse his hackitude. Look for the name on the label, folks. If it says Paul W.S. Anderson, you've been warned.
Aug. 21, 2008, 3:42 p.m. CST
I actually bothered reading Massa's review so I'm going to still assume it's shit but fun shit.
Aug. 21, 2008, 3:45 p.m. CST
by vic twenty
You have some stroke there, pahdna. I would guess the only reason people still hire this twat is because they have him confused with Paul Anderson. There is no excuse otherwise.
Aug. 21, 2008, 3:49 p.m. CST
by Olsen Twins_Fan
a little heavy on the thesaurus at times, but far and away the best contributor to this site.
Aug. 21, 2008, 3:55 p.m. CST
meet back here Sunday and discuss its cheesy brilliance or mediocre blah-ness. Me? I trust in Vern.
Aug. 21, 2008, 4:01 p.m. CST
"I am shocked--- shocked, I say, that MD 20/20 is not a fine, dry white zinfandel! It is cheap and obviously inferior to what I would like to drink." What the fuck were you expecting? This flick was always pretty much a known quantity--- cars crash, guns fire, shit blows up. End of list! Calling it out for not being brilliant, Voltaire-grade social satire is a bit like cursing a hamster for the horrible crime of not being a dog. This film DEFINITELY gets my money, just so I can talk about it and piss off all of the effete-snob douchebags I run into...
Aug. 21, 2008, 4:01 p.m. CST
I like Beaks, I think, but his reviews give my auto-pilot brain a terrible ache.
Aug. 21, 2008, 4:14 p.m. CST
Seriously. This idea of hunting human for sport was genius with that short story. So it's not that I wish it wasn't written. It's just that this one story spawned so, so much trash. <p> However, my hopes lie with Massawyrm's review...
Aug. 21, 2008, 4:15 p.m. CST
Do you feel you might have viewed the movie in a good way, not letting anything lacking seriousness stand in his way?
Aug. 21, 2008, 4:16 p.m. CST
Do you feel *HE* might have viewed the movie in a good way...
Aug. 21, 2008, 4:16 p.m. CST
DEATH RACE 2000 was like a PAUL VERHOEVEN movie complete with great satire, nudity and violence. It had Sly playing a bad guy who actually punched women in the face. The film being so cheap actually made it better. Now we have PAUL W.S. ANDERSON with a big budget piece of shit starring Jason "I wish I could replace SYLVESTER STALLONE and ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER" Statham. OH PLEASE! Tyrese is actually playing Machine Gun Joe. What the hell is that??? This project at one time was going to be produced by Tom Cruise and Paula Wagner and was to star Cruise and Stallone. Oh I wish we got that movie!
Aug. 21, 2008, 4:20 p.m. CST
... makes me an effete snob, then please, good sir, a bottle of the 2005 Justin Cabernet Sauvignon!<br><br>By the way, white zinfandels are sweet, and, generally, not that far off from your average bottle of "Red Grape" Mad Dog 20/20. Next time, try "fine pinot noir". (I mean, did SIDEWAYS teach you nothing?)
Aug. 21, 2008, 4:20 p.m. CST
by lex romero
Good to see that someone else on the site understands trashy action films do have to have certain qualities about them to be "fun to watch" trashy action films. A lot of people get up in arms when you try and tell them it's shit "what? that's not hte point, it's just a trashy action flick, did you want citizen kane?". No i didn't want CK ffs, i just want an action film with some excitement, well shot and visable action and a few laughs in the script.
Aug. 21, 2008, 4:22 p.m. CST
The perfect, literate antidote to Massa's inexplicable whitewash. Glad to have you back, sir.
Aug. 21, 2008, 4:23 p.m. CST
...without having a truly MINDLESS trashy action flick to accompany it? <p> The jury is still out on what makes a mindless action flick too dumb to enjoy. In my opinion, see my next post...
Aug. 21, 2008, 4:26 p.m. CST
Seriously. Now there is a movie that was aimed at being mindless fun, but also wanted it to be taken seriously. Hence, it inserted the slow motion Ryan Reynolds-coming-to-grips-with-the-truth moment, as well as Matthew Fox's "what does life mean" dying moment. <p> What the fuck was all that about? Didn't we just go to see a "cool" movie with a bunch of hitmen trying to take down a target in a little amount of time?<p> When action flicks that SHOULD be mindless, get too involved in themselves mentally, then shit hits the fan. <p> I feel like this movie (before having seen it) is correct in its approach to mindlessness.
Aug. 21, 2008, 4:28 p.m. CST
..And, honestly, I know absolutely dick about wine. I'm a gin drinker (Bombay Sapphire, to be precise). And I only took the segment of your review which was decrying the writing... 'Cause I always want more boobs and gore, and agree with you on that point.
Aug. 21, 2008, 4:50 p.m. CST
And I mean that in the best possible way. Great writing. Great review. You're filling the current Mori-shaped gap in coverage nicely!
Aug. 21, 2008, 5:01 p.m. CST
Seriously, it's great having you back. You were always my go-to guy on the site before, and your return is deeply appreciated. (Especially after Rob Nelson was so unceremoniously dumped from the Voice media conglomerate - were you a fan of his as well?) That being said, I was hoping against all odds for W.S. Anderson t actually make this decent. Sigh.
Aug. 21, 2008, 5:15 p.m. CST
I have no desire to ever see this rich man's remake. A bad movie can be so bad that it is good, but a movie this derivative and lacking in original thought is so uninteresting that even great actors can't make it entertaining.
Aug. 21, 2008, 5:16 p.m. CST
by I am_NOTREAL
Foolishness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Ergo, going to a PWSA movie and expecting anything decent is foolish.
Aug. 21, 2008, 5:22 p.m. CST
Has anyone noticed how entirely relevant that film is? This society and world economy and thirst for bloodletting....that story predicted what has come to pass.
Aug. 21, 2008, 5:22 p.m. CST
that is all.
Aug. 21, 2008, 5:36 p.m. CST
by Media Messiah
A script writer has just filed a lawsuit against Anderson and a partner of his, claiming that they stole his script and worked it into Anderson's Death Race script.
Aug. 21, 2008, 5:54 p.m. CST
I've got a mate, who has the original Death Race 2000 on DVD, only it's labeled as being G rated (no shit). I love the idea of some nice mother putting it on for her toddlers and leaving it to babysit them for a couple of hours. That's probably what Paul WS Anderson's mum did to him when he was a lad.
Aug. 21, 2008, 6 p.m. CST
her stupid kid to watch anything called deathrace.
Aug. 21, 2008, 6:06 p.m. CST
Sounds like Anderson crapped all over an entertaining original. What a loser. Dude should be hung by the neck until dead.
Aug. 21, 2008, 6:22 p.m. CST
He's a Company man. He does what eveer the studio demand not realizing the power he truly has. he lets Fox ruin his career.
Aug. 21, 2008, 6:58 p.m. CST
by Stalin vs Predator
It's supposedly getting good reviews. What was that third sign of the Apocalypse?
Aug. 21, 2008, 6:59 p.m. CST
by Iowa Snot Client
the, erm, muted palette from the Death Race arcade game.
Aug. 21, 2008, 7:23 p.m. CST
Super Off Road! Remember playing that at the movie theater? Pumping up your truck between races? I tried to go for a nicely balanced ride, but with a focus on' tires'. But really it was best just to load up on nitro! Then you went to sit and watch Turtles2 : Secret of the Ooze! Toka and Razaar were the shit! Then on the subway back Kenny pushed Anthony off one stop early. Anthonys big cousin wasn't feelin that. Too bad about that for Ken. But thanks for taking us Ken!
Aug. 21, 2008, 7:54 p.m. CST
Where in his review does he say he wants it to be oscar worthy? He was pissed because it wasn't SLEAZY ENOUGH. How you got yearning for oscar worthiness from that I have no fucking idea. Did you even read it?
Aug. 21, 2008, 8:19 p.m. CST
Aug. 21, 2008, 8:39 p.m. CST
by wilbur gray
Mr. Beaks-To compare a bad film to '70's TV movies is wrong,considering there were many classics of that period(Brian's Song,Night Stalker & Strangler,Duel,etc.)Please use '80's made for TV flicks instead.
Aug. 21, 2008, 8:49 p.m. CST
by Norm Cascade
the fact that Paul W.S. is a filthy fucking hack. I hate that asshole. Still, good review, dude.
Aug. 21, 2008, 8:51 p.m. CST
by Norm Cascade
What's with you little ninnies saying nonsense like, "WUT WERE U EXPECTIN SOMEHINTG OSCAR WORTHYY LOOL"? Did you even read the god damn review?
Aug. 21, 2008, 8:58 p.m. CST
by Banzai Rootskibango
...but I do agree with his viewpoint on P.W.S. Anderson and trust this review enough to stay far far away from Death Race.
Aug. 21, 2008, 9 p.m. CST
Aug. 21, 2008, 9:12 p.m. CST
Agree w/ you on those movies, but, percentage-wise, the rote far outweighed the exceptional. Also, we didn't have widespread cable or VCRs in the 70s, so if you wanted to watch a movie on Sunday night, you were stuck with whatever ABC was servin' up.
Aug. 21, 2008, 9:54 p.m. CST
Aug. 21, 2008, 9:59 p.m. CST
it's miraculously NOT tragically mediocre?
Aug. 21, 2008, 10:28 p.m. CST
I read that some where yesterday. It has something to do with a botched execution by electric chair. Atleast it keeps him away from video game adaptations and remakes of films we love. As far as Anderson goes, i'm still pissed over his raping of Alien vs Predator, how hard is it to take these big ass budgets and awesome properties and make something watchable? Damn, enough is enough.
Aug. 21, 2008, 11:40 p.m. CST
by Nasty In The Pasty
Let Darabont make that fucker.
Aug. 21, 2008, 11:53 p.m. CST
Judiciously used. I'm serious. It made the review for me. Throw in another one of those babies and leave out the word "absolutely" next time and that one'll a 10 in my book.
Aug. 22, 2008, 12:28 a.m. CST
by The Dum Guy
Female convicts... who don't show vag or boobs.... there is no God.
Aug. 22, 2008, 1:34 a.m. CST
by Sherlock Holmes II
Corman bought Peter Weir's 'The Cars that Ate Paris' to distribute in the USA, then decided he'd create his own version for American tastes, called it something that would appeal to their monkified brains, like Death Race 2000, then simultaneousley bury Peter Weir's debut on the cinematic stage by cutting it up and Americanizing that as well. DEATH[RACE] TO AMERICA! So all your whining about a so called classic being remade is rather pointless, ain't it? Just sayin'!
Aug. 22, 2008, 1:39 a.m. CST
When will somebody step in and stop this clown making movies? It's bad enough he gets to boff Milla. He showed a bit of potential with Event Horizon & Mortal Kombat years ago, with training he could have been a not bad director, but seriously - he needs to walk away.
Aug. 22, 2008, 1:43 a.m. CST
by Jed Black
Aug. 22, 2008, 1:47 a.m. CST
by Jed Black
What I meant to write, before I touched the fucking enter key, was did you see "An American Crime"? It hits DVD this week and I'd be interested to hear your take, did you write a review somewhere? Sorry to hijack the discussion, but isn't Ellen Paige being tortured to death in Catherine Keener's basement more interesting than PWS Anderson's latest cinematic Partial Birth Abortion?
Aug. 22, 2008, 2:44 a.m. CST
needs to give him the old Hand-Grenade trick.
Aug. 22, 2008, 2:56 a.m. CST
And despite the flaws, it was one helluva enjoyable movie. I had a blast watching the car stunts, and explosions. Was better than I expected.
Aug. 22, 2008, 3:21 a.m. CST
Take me out the back and shoot me now but I fuckin liked the movie. I know.....take me to Guantanemo Bay now
Aug. 22, 2008, 3:30 a.m. CST
...why the hell do people keep expecting anything good out of PWS Anderson. He's NEVER done anything that wasn't C-grade, third-rate, derivative bollocks. Even his most shining moment, "Event Horizon", is a total rip from Alien and Hellraiser. The guys a no imagination hack who pedals other peoples ideas and somehow keeps getting money thrown at him. In a just world, this guy would be stuck directing Debt-Buster ads :P
Aug. 22, 2008, 3:45 a.m. CST
It's like, how you fel better after you throw up. Wierd I know. But find his flicks a guilty little pleasure. They are dumb, inconsistent, poorly written/acted and directed. But I know what to expect from him, and if i feel like a loud, colourful distraction on a rainy day, i'll throw one of his movies in my trust dvd player. Sue me.
Aug. 22, 2008, 5:17 a.m. CST
Figured this was the right place to post about a genre flick. Just read that rather than a remake, there is a prequel about the norwegian base in the works. This may have been discussed months ago, but its the first I've heard. May be nonsense, anyone care to back it up for me?
Aug. 22, 2008, 5:19 a.m. CST
...beaks, fuck off. twat.
Aug. 22, 2008, 5:38 a.m. CST
I'll use my initiative and simply do a quick google search first. Turned up what I was looking for in spades.
Aug. 22, 2008, 6:49 a.m. CST
your reviews all suck...always have, always will. not because or you opinions, but because of your writing style. you're the typical writer how tries to use every catch-phrase known to man in the review in an attempt to sound witty. you're lame, go back to writing class.
Aug. 22, 2008, 7:06 a.m. CST
"Only Paul W.S. Anderson would make an R-rated Roger Corman movie and leave out the boobs."
Aug. 22, 2008, 8:32 a.m. CST
Hey George Miller! get off your butt and make a new ROAD WARRIOR movie. and no THUNDERDOME crap!
Aug. 22, 2008, 9:05 a.m. CST
by dr sauch
I mean, come on. Even Total Recall had gnarly mutant boob.
Aug. 22, 2008, 9:13 a.m. CST
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Quote: "...by saying inanities about the reviewer..."<P>Well, aren't you the pot calling the kettle black. You do that shit ALL the time. Especially when the reviewer doesn't agree with your over-delicate sensibilities.
Aug. 22, 2008, 9:45 a.m. CST
I FUCKING HATE THAT MOVIE!
Aug. 22, 2008, 10:02 a.m. CST
Give me a frickin' break! The original was a dumb piece of crap, and this is an entirely appropriate remake. Jesus, people hate on PSWA almost as much a Boll! Give the guy a break. He picks low brow material appropriate to his skill sets.
Aug. 22, 2008, 10:16 a.m. CST
Aug. 22, 2008, 10:21 a.m. CST
Released the Death Race 2000 DVD? As in Disney's Buena Vista? Really? Well ain't that a poop in the pants.
Aug. 22, 2008, 10:35 a.m. CST
Aug. 22, 2008, 10:37 a.m. CST
Paul "I didn't make the movie about raining frogs" Anderson will never get anything but scorn from anyone who knows what the acronym AICN means. Because of AVP, seriously man, nothing brings out the hate like the mentioning of that film. People talk about how much Star Wars I rapped their childhood. I'm pretty sure that AVP was the fucked up Uncle that came in and rape your childhood again while it was in recovery after the first time. Never has there been a franchise fucked so hard as Aliens and Predator were. Added to the fact that there was plenty of PRE-MADE Alien Vs. Predator material out there, that the fans loved. That PTA decided to say, I've never heard of that video game or comic (which would be a weird thing for him to say seeing that this man probably sprinkles blended up video games on his morning bowl of weetabix (its a british thing) just so he can somehow get that much closer to knowing the inner workings of a video game) and I'll just make something up. <P> I mean it would've been less forgiving if maybe he hadn't wrote the theme tune, sing the theme tune, direct the theme tune for AVP. But he did, and he did so acting like he was having a joygasm that he was going to spray over all of us. Thats why Everybody Hates Paul W. S. Anderson.
Aug. 22, 2008, 10:57 a.m. CST
by Homer Sexual
...I don't hate PWSA. I actually liked the Resident Evil movies, and God help me, AVP. I admit that AVP was a travesty to the Alien series, but still trashy fun. <p> That said, this review convinced me not to see Death Race, which I had planned to see because for my money, Milla is the only real good ass-kicking female in movies today, and I am also a big fan of Jason Statham. But this review with no gore or nudity, sounds worse than bad...it sounds dull.
Aug. 22, 2008, 11:07 a.m. CST
I'm probably just an idiot this morning, but I can't find the link for the Anakin Vs. Obi-Wan script contest. Can anyone point this idiot in the right direction?
Aug. 22, 2008, 11:17 a.m. CST
I don't hate PWSA. I hate fox for fucking everything good they've ever done like they always do. I mean once you saw the name PWSA attached to AVP you knew it was going to suck. No matter how much he Hugh Grant wannabe charm was working on you. You just knew he didn't have it in him. I don't mind all the other crap he's done. In fact I think I've seen most of his films in theaters. They are mindless fun, and I don't understand the hate for Resident Evil. I think it serves a good transition piece between games one and two. I won't speak of movies 2 and 3. But at least on 3 he got Russell Mulcahy to direct, and it seriously must've been one of those working with my idol moments. Its obvious that Paul went to the school of Mulcahy film. <P> Also I don't like this notion that Paul is a "young director eager to leave his mark" I'm pretty sure he has, and he's not young. Having made his first movie over 10 years ago and has been working consistently ever since, he's at a point where you know what your going to get with him.
Aug. 22, 2008, 11:25 a.m. CST
I too was at one point in time super pissed about AVP, then i realized.....why am i pissed??? Alien 3 and Alien Resurrection basically killed the franchise for me in the sense that, i stopped taking it seriously...then theres Predator 2, which did about the same for that franchise and it was barely beginning to crawl and get out of diapers. so before you get really upset about AVP (which even in the hands of a accomplished director....more than likely would have sucked and /or failed to interest audiences outside of the Alien Vs. Predator fanboy-base). AVP isn't terrible if you consider it a completely stand-alone film thats far and away from the ones that count (Alien, Aliens, Predator)....except for that atrocious shot of the predator running side by side with that chick (shudder). i gotta say, AVP is shit....but its watchable shit, AVP:R is also watchable shit....even more watchable shit than the shit that is AVP....yeah.
Aug. 22, 2008, 11:41 a.m. CST
AVP was shit. It was rated PG-13. Also Alien 3 and 4, didn't kill the franchise. The first 4 Alien movies where directed by up and coming talent, all 4 right now are probably in the top 10 directors working today. And 3 and 4, hold up very well. I never understood the hate toward 3, I can see why people didn't like 4. But it is still serious, its FOX thats the joke. Fox mishandles all of its shit, once it gets something good its like they don't know what to do with themselves (X-Men 3?). They are soooo worried about marketing appeal and returns, that they miss out on making good movies. Now I know movies are a buisness, and I think AVP is the highest grossing Alien movie.
Aug. 22, 2008, 11:42 a.m. CST
Die Hard 4.0: Live Free or Die Hard, PG-13, highest grossing Die Hard.
Aug. 22, 2008, 12:51 p.m. CST
Alien 3 isn't completely terrible, but it simply can't compete with its previous installments. now im not a HUGE Davis Fincher fan er anything, i DO enjoy some of his films....but even HE can't stand Alien 3 and he directed the mother fucker, the studio REALLY fucked him over on that flick....which is why he refused to do a director commentary for the Alien Quadrilogy box-set....damn shame.
Aug. 22, 2008, 2:18 p.m. CST
I have seen the new Tom Cruise/Bryan Sanger film due Dec. 26th. Anyone interested in an opinion?
Aug. 22, 2008, 7:03 p.m. CST
Its funny that your name has fart in it, because right before I read it I had just farted. And just got back from BW3's and it smells of wings and beer!!! WOOOO HOOOO!!!! <P> Compare Alien 3, with Roc boxing a fucking Alien to 90 other sci fi films, and you'll find out that it ends up being in the top ten, and thats a fact.
Aug. 22, 2008, 7:05 p.m. CST
Aug. 23, 2008, 10:12 a.m. CST
This is a list that goes 14 points strong on how to direct an action film and pretty much explains why he makes films without a soul. http://tinyurl.com/5vzf9x
Aug. 24, 2008, 11:02 a.m. CST
and I liked it just fine. I wanted a fun action movie and that is what I got. Don't understand all the hate. Oh, and Ian was awesome as always.
Aug. 24, 2008, 5:38 p.m. CST
Aug. 25, 2008, 10:27 p.m. CST
Saw DEATH RACE, pretty entertaining yarn, fast-paced, kinetic, bloody and had some great turns by Jason Statham and Ian McShane. I expected much, much worse, its a solid actioner (even the Mrs liked it).
Aug. 26, 2008, 11:09 a.m. CST
...this movie sounds more like a remake of Lucio Fulci's "New Gladiators"...
Aug. 26, 2008, 4:03 p.m. CST
for saving me my ten bucks. I caught his interview on Attack of the Show yesterday. This review added to his belief that reality tv's next gen is a real life Death Race is enough to seal the deal on me never seeing another of his movies.
Aug. 27, 2008, 5:05 p.m. CST
uwe boll, Roland Emmerich,Eli Roth and that overgrown walking tumor that is kevin Smith.yeah Paul's Movies are lacking but atleast to some point it's entertaining be it Resident Evil,Soldier or Event horizon. (AVP would have fared better if the shit had a R rating, but nooo it was dumbass Anderson's idea to make it PG-13.)<p>I'm gonna pass on DR and torrent instead. My hard earned money is better off going to some charity donation like a cure for blood cancers or somethin.
Aug. 27, 2008, 5:35 p.m. CST
and have him fight to the death with Tim(IFUCKINGHATE)Story and Uwe(HOPEHEDIESBYMOLTENSLAGENEMA)Boll. The winner gets to make the next Mummy movie. Hey the Mummy films are bad enough, let's make them worse.
Aug. 28, 2008, 2:29 p.m. CST
It entertained me just fine.
Aug. 28, 2008, 5:52 p.m. CST
by Neon Killer
I've finally, totally, and utterly had it with Anderson, a director whose real potential has been glimpsed occasionally, but largely ruined and ignored BY HIMSELF. As an aspiring British Exploitation Director myself (my serial killer Horror-Comedy Short Film "NEON KILLER" just played London's Frightfest, where DEATH RACE was the last film of the festival)Anderson's bloody-minded refusal to TRY and make decent trash is so fucking infuriating, that if I ever see him in the street, I will politely walk up to him and tell him exactly what I think of his 'career'. When is Hollywood going to stop giving him money? There are plenty of other directors with British accents and a predisposition towards B-Movies out there. Pick one of us instead!.....Oh fuck it, what's the point. He's gonna keep working, and ruin Castlevania next....No one can stop him........why even try?!......Has he made a pact with the Devil?......