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Massawyrm goes head to head with DEATH RACE!!
Hola all. Massawyrm here.
EXPLOITATION! Pure, unabashed, unapologetic exploitation. There’s no other way to describe it. Death Race is a loud, dumb, adrenaline fueled spectacle that rips off most of its contents from other, sometimes unlikely, movies, but does so in the way the best exploitation does. This movie is not very smart. It is not very original. And yet none of that stops it from being one hell of a fun, explosive hour and a half that wastes no time getting us past the silly plot points and immediately into what we all came to see. Heavily armed cars blowing the shit out of other heavily armed cars.
In what is easily Paul W.S. Anderson’s best film to date, he threw out every last bit of pretension and got back to the kind of silly, fun filmmaking we saw out of him in Mortal Kombat. Anderson has been something of a whipping boy around these parts over the years – at least he was for a while. For quite some time his name was pseudonymous with the very bottom of the barrel of mainstream genre filmmaking. Then Uwe Boll showed up and showed us what it was really like to not give a shit about film. And just as we thought it couldn’t get any worse than Uwe, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer reminded us that at least Dr. Boll has a PHD. So by comparison, Anderson wasn’t looking so bad anymore. He seemingly found his way to the pinnacle of mediocrity where he served no other purpose than to run great franchises into the ground.
But it’s a funny thing. While adults and critics have spurned his films, the kids have embraced him. Despite the bulk of his films being rated R, he’s found his following among the young who eat them up with a spoon. When Merrick wrote about his experience seeing this , he dared to invoke Verhoeven. And that’s an unfair name to throw out there. Anderson isn’t operating on that level. No, he’s more like Brian Trenchard-Smith. And I don’t mean that as in insult. I remember as a kid seeing Trenchard-Smith’s films by hook or by crook - sneaking in, talking my parents into taking me or catching them on video or HBO. Should I have been watching Escape 2000 or Dead End Drive-in? Probably not, but I was. Watching them today I fully understand why my parents would leave the room when I watched this kind of stuff. But I still love every minute of it. I keep running into these 18-19 year old guys who grew up with AVP and the Resident Evil’s and I watch them try to defend them the way I defend Battle Beyond the Stars or Krull. And I get it.
And come on. This actually has Roger Corman’s name on it. The only thing that this doesn’t share in common with Corman’s brand of exploitation is the budget (which probably made him shit himself) and the time it took to shoot. I can almost imagine Corman staring down Anderson saying “You want to spend how much for how long? I could shoot this in a week! Do you realize I FIRED Jimmy Cameron? Get the fuck out of here!” But that is what this is. A big budget, well cast Roger Corman film.
Pretty much everyone kicks ass in this. Jason Statham and Tyrese Gibson not only compete on the track, but in one of the single greatest grumbling contests ever put to film. Every time they talk to each other, they seem to drop their testicles lower in an attempt to hit notes so low that only whales and heavy machinery can understand them. Joan Allen takes an incredible turn as the hard-nosed warden, complete with one of the most irrational strings of invectives I’ve ever heard. I don’t know what shitting on the sidewalk has to do with anything, but she sure as fuck makes me want to find out. And Ian McShane simply decided not to shave and felt that that was character enough. He looks like he’s having so much fun that it is positively contagious. It’s hard not to smile whenever he’s on screen being the ass kicking genre replacement for Morgan Freeman. And how could I forget the hard-on inducing Natalie Martinez who exists in this film solely to make you want to touch her. Repeatedly.
But logic? Um. No. There’s no logic to be found here. I’ve heard a number of complaints ranging from Statham’s big frame-up to the realities of a Death Race in the modern world and I just have to wave all of that off. You want logic? Riddle me this: in what world do you allow maximum-security convicts, reputed to be the worst of the very worst, access to giant wrenches, blowtorches, welders, sheet metal, muscle cars, napalm and fucking machine guns? But don’t you worry, because we don’t give them the ammunition…until race day.
Yeah. If you can wrap your mind around that one, you have just the right mindset to enjoy the shit out of this. This is Fast and the Furious with machine guns. Make no mistake. This movie rips off the content, style and puts Jason Staham in the Vin Diesel role, exchanging one bald bad ass for another. And since Anderson clearly hasn’t spent the time in prison many in the community feels he so richly deserves for his crimes against Soldier, he turned to the best resource on prison life he had available: The Shawshank Redemption. This movie doesn’t just borrow from King & Darabont. It steals entire scenes. Unrepentantly. But it works.
Death Race dispenses with the character introductions as fast as humanly possible, working as hard as it can to get Statham into prison quickly. Once there we get a fast forward intro to his pit crew and have the whole plot of the movie laid out in about 10 minutes flat. The rest of the film is either ass beatings and pissing contests in prison (where no one ever seems to be locked up) or glorious, 80mph, explosion filled race sequences. When the engines start the music kicks in. When people get killed they get positively vaporized in a gory red mist.. And anytime a women so much as walks across screen, she does so in slow motion to hip-hop/bump-and-grind/come-fuck-me music. They make no illusions about what they’re doing. Hell, they even admit it IN THE MOVIE. Sex. Violence. And bad ass mother fucking automobiles.
This is eyecandy. Panem et circenses – bread and circuses my friends. An exploitation treat for those that have a love for such things. The critics are generally gonna hate it and the more effete are going to turn their nose up at it for its utter lack of logic. But audiences are gonna go nuts for it. The teens that sneak in are gonna get spastic for it. And it will no doubt find itself as a TNT Movie for Guys Who Like Movies. I LOVED almost every magnificent little minute of it. This is exactly the type of testosterone driven, popcorn-chomping extravaganza I was hoping for. If at all possible this should be watched at midnight at the Alamo Drafthouse with bucket of ice-cold beer. And friends. Lots of friends.
Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em.
Massawyrm
Got something for the Wyrm? Mail it here.
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Take that mickey fickeys!!!!!!!
I'm first on a review of a brain-dead movie!!!!!!!! -
NOOOOCH!!!!!
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I hated it... I am not a spammer by the way, I make no money I just do my own reviews. flemmingonfilms.blogspot.com
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OH HELLS YEAH!!!!!
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I am pretty excited about seeing this movie. I'm a big fan of car mayhem, and I think the tone and look of the movie will be perfect for me. Not looking for a fantastic plot, not looking for another Dark Knight....I want pure mayhem, loud cars, hot chicks, and ass-kicking action scenes. Been wanting a "Twisted Metal Black" movie for a while, and this will have to do until that comes out....ever.
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tho to be honest, i did kinda love Mortal Kombat..hope this is more on tha level!!!
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If it's the same sort of ridiculous, fun, genre-mashing, exploitative, crazy, badass popcorn flick, I'll give it a shot. PWSA has a lot of convincing to do, though.
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surprising review that ALMOST raised my interest. Though I'll wait to see who agrees with you first massa.
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There were three of us and one beer left in the fridge. I am sure you know the rest of the story.
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I am always up for a little mindless fun, but the main reason I will have to watch this is my wife has the hots for Jason Statham(prick). I have to watch everything he is in to make my wife happy. I even had to suffer though In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, or whatever the hell it was. The things you do for love.
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You make a good case for the film. Personally, I've never quite understood the extreme level of hate towards this director. Sure, I couldn't bring myself to watch AVP but I didn't think EVENT HORIZON, SOLDIER or even RESIDENT EVIL were so bad.
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Can we look forward to a Massawyrm 'Disaster Movie' review? Or will your small intestine leap up through your neck to throttle your brain to prevent you from going to see it in the first place?
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At the latest showing possible. We did the same for Doomsday and that was one of the nest times I ever had.
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http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/news/13372. David Anders and Kandyse McClure (BSG) will headline this one. WTF?
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i'm not sure when its coming to UK shores but i'll definitely get a few mates together, few beers, incessant violence, gratuitous gore etc. etc.
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If this movie was more like the original than maybe i'd go.. doomsday at least had rhona mitra lol...
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You know what? For a simple genre sci-fi action flick it's not that bad at all. Same with the first Resident Evil.
Massawyrm is dead right. I used to have a problem with PA until Boll showed up and showed us all the direct route to the bottom of the fucking barrell. Besides PA seems like a genuine fan of the genre's he works in. He could use some more talent, no doubt, but his heart's in the right place. -
Derivative sure, but so was... well, everything.
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...David Carradine comes in at the end and kills the entire cast.
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...put Statham and Diesel in a movie together! Tango and Cash remake anyone?
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Seriously...if anyone saw the trailer for this movie and thought it was going to be in any way good, you should never be allowed to spend your own money at a movie theater ever again.
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Vern,
You lost me as to why Scorpion King is better than the original Mummy. I like B movies but Scorpion King was utter garbage. The Mummy 2 was a better B movie than SK. Your comment leaves me confused. -
That's what it looks like and that's what I hope it will be. That other review where the writer got all weepy about The Running Man...I mean give me a break. Escapist fare isn't meant to be analyized unless you're in the business of making it. Otherwise, you either enjoy the ride or you don't. Looks like I've got some smile time ahead of me.
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(Since my name was mentioned in the article) There are many fine points made in your review, Massa. And, there's nothing wrong with exploitation or just plain, giddy dopiness. BUT, that's not what Anderson's DEATH RACE is doing. My problems with this movie don't come from it being quite different than the original film. HOWEVER, I'll use the original film as an example. DEATH RACE 2000 wasn't exactly a thinking man's film, either. BUT, it was grounded in a reality that made it compelling...that automatically helped us correlate the fantastical events in the film with our modern world. The notion that anyone on the streets...old, young , male, female, any of us...has no meaning beyond a prescribed point value in a game can be mirrored into our desensitization of random violence we see on the streets today, for example. Or, how the original film deals with America;'s perspective of the race: The idea that violence and bloodshed we regularly see on TVs has become more of a past time than a shock. I'm NOT saying the first film was a message film, but these subtexts gave it a certain substance that's completely missing from Anderson's version. And it6's all replaced with a setting even you admit is dicey (heavily armed war cars in an easily escapable prisi\on) that strains credibility to the breaking point...there's NOTHING to associate with here. Nothing to hold on to so ANderson can take us on the ride, so to speak. And he's not even consistent about it (see below) ** ** ** ** ** --- SPOILER WARNING ---- ** ** ** ** At the end of the film, our "heroes" kill *dozens* of cops in a fiery explosion/highway pile-up. We're supposed to root for this guy? The first half of the film is spent showing us he's not a murderer, but then he's got no qualms about serving his own needs by annihilating scores of law enforcement officials? To me, at least, that seems like a misguided, uncertain vision. This is just Anderson trying to be edgy and cool, but in the awkward way a desperate nerd would dress up like a jock to make friends with the sports crowd at his school. Just my two cents, for whatever they're worth.
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2001 meets Hellraiser. heh..sorta. Soldier was also pretty cool.
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step it up, Massa.
oh and can you call the guy who keeps making you custom avatars for every single update you ever post, and see if maybe he has time to get something for Kellerman? Hers is tragic. -
the action looks boring and headache-inducing. If I want to turn my brain *completely* off while watching cars chasing each others, I'll watch TV. Not only Anderson is a Hack Pack member, but his latest interview on CHUD made him sound like a completely clueless one. "The movie to beat" when it comes to car chases? At least Dr Boll's megalomania is of a funny kind. Anderson has not such a decency.
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This forum is strange. No one seems to stay on the topic at hand.
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For inbred retards.
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Cuz I'd pay to see that.
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I could see Statham about to fuck whats-her-name, then saying"just a moment", putting on the black glove and leather mask, then getting down to buisness.
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Great review though.
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What can you expect from a move with "Welcome to the Jungle" playing in the trailer...Looks like stupid fun.
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Aug 21, 2008 10:46:52 AM CDT
The synopsis on my local theatre's website....
by premiere warlord bush
... Says that the prison is on an island. So unless this is DEATH (BOAT) RACE the prison setting makes slightly more sense at least in the context of the movie.
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there you go, finally a reviewer who gets what the movie was doing, this wasn't trying to be art....it is just what it set out to be a straight forward blood and guts action film...
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Love to see a race with those small cars and crazy guys.
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TO PLAY GENERAL ASHDOWN-REMEMBER YOU READ IT HERE FIRST!(well,actually,you didn't,because AICN ingnored my e mail...)
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at any time during the film, a convict-racer seeks shelter from an explosion by hiding in a refrigerator
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However, said convict-racer manages to grab hold of a vine with monkeys on it and swing to safety.
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telling Hollywood with your money that this is the kind of crap they should keep making.So now they're learning they don't even have to have a connection between the remake and the original film. They just need the same title and some slow motion breast bouncing. I can't wait to see what this means for the Poltergeist remake that's in the works.
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in a deathrace matchup. You can throw in some Congressmen as well to spice things up. Pay-per-view event, with proceeds going to shore up social security.
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... but apparently, there's a guy who stands smirking in the middle of a race track claiming he's unkillable... before being immediately run over by a car he should've seen coming a mile away.
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The question is where that is a compliment or not. I ain't as bad "Uwe Boll's best film to date", but not much better. Boy, are you really sure? It would be hard to top a masterpiece like Alien Vs. Predator.
Sorry, not to bust balls. But if you didn't want to tear out your eyeballs after watching this movie, this being Anderson's best movie to date is pretty much implied. -
the black box TB post subjects are invisible until scrolled over? Annoying.
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"At the end of the film, our "heroes" kill *dozens* of cops in a fiery explosion/highway pile-up. We're supposed to root for this guy?"Sounds like the only good reason we're given to root for the guy. Cops are legally sanctioned thugs - until the so-called "good cops" that police apologists always like to trot out as an example do something about all those isolated "bad apples" that there seem to be so damn many of, I view them all the same - thugs. Watching them massacred in a film by the dozens offends me as much as watching gangsters get the same treatment.
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You can hear sound clips and buy the score CD from "Death Race" (music composed by Paul Haslinger, formerly of Tangerine Dream), exclusively at www.intrada.com.
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until reading this review. This sounds pretty cool, now. Al fucking Swearengen playing Red from Shawshank? Fuck it, I'm in, cocksuckers.
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Quit being a pussy, sir. You're not Ebert for chrissakes.
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"Oy con't feil nuffin'. No imotion, no feilin's, no nuffin. Oy'm a cold, hahd killin' machine and Iy got special moves wit' me gun kata. Betta watch out you Resistance muthafakas, Statham's comin'.
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Like all of Paul's flicks, this will fall under "rental." He's made one movie I really liked (Mortal Kombat), a number of braindead but passable action films, and one movie I absolutely hate (Event Horizon - I know some of you really like this, but I can't fathom why - just different opinions, I guess).
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All this mainstream, post-modern shit simply doesn't count. It's too knowing; too tongue-in-cheek. It tries too fuckin hard. That said, I do like a good beer-and-buddies movie. Maybe I'll watch this. Maybe I'll just rent Commando.
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Wake me when this remake shit is over.
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"The graytest tournament in the world, eh? Oy'm in. Allz I need to win this thing is black pants and a can of Red-Boo cuz it gives you wings. Once oy get me wings it's ova. Oy'm demolishin' Louey Kang, Oy'm evisceratin' Sko'peon, and Sub-Zero? Ey's gonna look like Sub-Nuffin boy the toyme Oy'm done wif'im. Moy Animality is a bigga vehzhun of meself, coz Oy'm a bleedin' ANIMOO! Betta run away fast, Samsung, Statham's comin'.
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Oh, wait... wha?
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"No, Foah! Too, too, foah... And Noodles."
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just because a film's stupid and bloody doesn't mean it gets the same pass as the old, great/terrible exploitation flicks. Those things were shot in a month, with a couple thousand bucks. So, when they came out with any redeeming qualities, even just enough of a storyline to keep one interested, they were a success. When they had a little subtext and a few pretty decent performances (as the original "Death Race" did) they could reach cult classic status.
but come on, for many millions of dollars and plenty of time to write, shoot, and edit, these guys have got no excuse for turning in something lame and derivative. They had the resources, they were just lazy. Moreover, the one thing the truly great exploitation flicks share is they are NOT simply rip-offs... they pack all sorts of crazy ideas and ridiculous mumbo-jumbo into their narratives, the kind of thing they could NEVER get away with in mainstream films. Thats part of the reason they were so fun and yes, even necessary. Remakes of those films, however, are most certainly NOT necessary, especially ones which, by Massa's own admission, can't muster a single new idea. Sorry bud, but I aint sold. -
I hope he got a fat payday out of this at least.
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was scary in the cinema. but, sadly, rubbish on video.
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"Tike yoh stinkin' pohs of me you fookin' c**t!"
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Since when did Jason Statham talk like that.iIn fact,since when did any Englishman talk like that??
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"The really coo fing abaot remekes izzat peepoo 'oo know nuffin' abaot the originoo could wotch the new one an' learn sumfin and get curious abaot the originoo. And the peepoo that know abaot the originoo wioo 'opefully go see the new one and put sum money in me pockets. Win win babay!! Better take a shawa hunny, Statham's comin'"
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Anyone ever play that old PC game? Ahh yes, so very dear to my heart!Only 3 ways to win:Pass each and every check point in order first.Destroy each and every opponent.Or kill every pedestrian on the map.How is that not the best "shoot em up" video game ever? Gonna dual boot my system so I can run W98 for playing Carmageddon 2 alone (no port for xp, etc)...
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"S'all royt mate, I loyke the word cunt. If oy was in that movie, I'd bang a buncha apes and staht an Ah-mee of Ape-Stathams. Oy'd probably want abaot elevenov'em so Oy can play rugby with 'em and 'ave poo parties. Ape-Stathams would roo! Get your 'ands on moy banana, bitch."
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Same question I asked Blue_Demon-is your experience of cockney limited to Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins because I assure you,Statham does NOT talk like that...nor does ANY Englishman!
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"Moy accent isn't really like a regulah englishman, because of owe the muscles Oym using to flex while Oy tolk. If you lissen very closely, you can hear me butt cheecks sweat. Hayta."
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This should be great mindless fun. If you want a serious movie then go see I.O.U.S.A.
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"Plus, Oy'm 80% moah raspy and gravely that the average Englishman. Who in tuhn is 20% less raspy than the average American. Oy loyke Shahks!
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since Jason Statham, Ian McShane, and Joan Allen are all in this thing, I think this a good place to consider the list of Actors and Actresses who need to be saved from their own horrible career choices before they go direct-to-DVD for good (sorry, Vern...) I'd like to start the bidding with:
1: Michael Madsen. If there's an oscar for most roles phoned in (admittedly, typically in awful, awful crap) by a really great, charismatic actor, it should go to him.
2: Robert DiNero. Virtually every role since Wag the Dog has been a weak parody of a former classic role he played or, even worse, "Godsend."
3: Dwayne Johnson: After actually convincing us that he's a real, likable actor over a series of increasingly watchable films, what does he do with his newfound credability? "Walking Tall"... "Doom"..."Southland Tales"..."The Game Plan". Looks like its back to "The Rock" for awhile.
That should get you started... now, its your turn. -
...and Oy said "Soy", cuzzat's 'ow Jason Statham tolks. Loyke that.
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we know, OK? We know. And he knows too.
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I'm on Guy Ritchie overdrive.I know the English accents are as varied (probably more) than American accents. I prefer Jeremy Irons' accent to most.
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That "Soy" made me spit out my coke.
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Mortal Kombat was fun enough, "Event Horizon" was GREAT. So, AVP was a bit of a letdown, but it wasn't as big of a clusterfuck as AVP:R.
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Nick Cage - anyone remember when he was consider an actor? This guy has an Oscar remember.
Billy Bob Thornton - another Oscar winning on a bad streak (though he did do "Bad Santa" and banged Angelina Jolie when she was at her hottest, so he will always be okay in my book).
Brendan Fraser - soon to be competing with Dean Kane for direct-to-DVD and Sci-Fi channel movie-of-the-week roles.
Kevin Costner - ouch.
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Seems like the advertisers aren't exactly hitting their target audience - considering most of the idiot posters here probably don't see shampoo in weeks, and then it's probably some sort of dandruff repellent. Nice one, guys...
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"Its wonovme fayvritte shampoos. It conditions azzit cleans, so 'alf the work is done foahya. It leevs moy heah shoyny and smooth. Oll the laydees luvit, and Oy luv oll the laydees. Statham's coming."
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ouch is right.
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Moy bad. I broke my own keyboahd once. I mistook it foah a neenja. Oy'll send you a Bist Boy Gift Cahd.
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actually gave me chills. Cool creepy chills, not the "Omigod did you see his butt in Robin Hood" chills.
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I really thought he was going to start some pedigree-level work. But NOOO, instead I saw him on Reno 911: Miami. Don't get me wrong, I love Reno 911, but the Rock has never, AND THE ROCK MEANS NEVER, really impressed me with his work. The Rock should be Bane. I know he's not S. American, but he's half Samoan, which is pretty close to Philippino, which is almost mexican, which is almost S. American.
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He was very compelling in The Rundown. I still think he has what it takes to be a top tier action star, but he has to commit to it and stop doing stupid kid comedies and artsy crap he is not suited for like Southland Tales. He needs to find the right action hero franchise and be the R-rated, physical badass with a sense of humor he has the potential to be. It's all about the script and the right director and just let him do his thing.
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Please!!! Put it in the city with the Rock leading a team to hunt the Predator. Have it end on Predator homeworld with the Rock being hunted.
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Theres no way its going to be 1/4 as bad as The Rocker. Also add the dude from the Office as someone who's career choices need better direction, thats if you even give a shit about seeing him succeed. That goes for Dane Cook and Matthew MccAnahey as well.
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There are bad movies - such as any movie with the words "Traveling" and "Pants" in the title - and guilty pleasures. And yeah, I'd defend Krull and Battle Beyond the Stars too... plus Mortal Kombat which for whatever reason I find compelled to watch whenever it's on. Hey, as dumb as it is, at least MK has better fight scenes then TDK.
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That's ok mate,just don't do it again you faaaaaaaking caaaaaaaant(now THAT'S cockney-lol,I am one!)
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At least this has to be better on his resume than Hot Rod. I know that flick has its defenders, sorry I'm not one. Maybe I'll have to rewatch it on 'shrooms or something to find it funny.Nothing beats The Road Warrior for vehicular destruction, even after all these years. So my question is...with all the "advances" in stunt devices, does Anderson cut and stage the stunts to make sense, or is a bunch of sound and fury signifying nothing?
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Jolie is supposed to be Oscar bait in the new Eastwood flick...so, who knows? She does two for the money, one for the cred, and so on.
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that actually managed to say the least about a the film it was reviewing, that I believe I have ever read. A high-brow review for a low-brow movie? What the hell Mas?
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Check out this Ratatat video done entirely with Predator clips (remove spaces). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fk8qcGOtBFw
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going for her. By all accounts that's a real movie.How about Forest Whitaker for the list? Vantage Point, Street Kings and The Air I Breathe aren't exactly actor's roles you follow an Oscar with.
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and hilarious too. Pass on this crap though, I'm not falling for it.
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Aug 21, 2008 2:13:20 PM CDT
Transporter Versus Wheelman: A Fast and Furious Death Race
by spandau belly
Bring that on! Vin and Statham can play two character each in a five way deathmatch!
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Maybe. But it's Reed's fault for pissing away his own career.
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Then Uwe Boll showed up and showed us what it was really like to not give a shit about film.
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...of this review. I love a bit of mindless exploitation now and again. The problem is Anderson is a piss poor action director. Whatever fun there is will no doubt be undermined by his appalling camerawork and seemingly random ADD inflicted editing style.
Ebert's review of this is hilarious, the opening paragraph maybe me spit out my tea (yes, I'm English). -
When you're on, you're on. Dude, this was hysterical. Thanks.
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Aug 21, 2008 2:53:19 PM CDT
Paul Anderson, king of the cinematic turds and guilty pleasures
by fartedinthefaceofhollywood
Personally, i am NOT a big fan of Paul Anderson.....his movies are either unwatchable, insulting to the material (Resident Evil could have been SO much more), or guilty pleasures you watch alone while you get drunk. Mortal Kombat is a 13 year olds wet-dream of a movie full of (now) stupid techno music and (now) unimpressive fight scenes....but its a guilty pleasure, Event Horizon reminds of the last 20 mintues of Hellraiser Bloodline but extended by an hour and a half....and Hellraiser Bloodline sucked a whale dick buuut its guilty pleasure-y enough to warrant a watch every now and then. Soldier.....ahem, moving on....Resident Evil, hmmm nope not that one either....AVP, honestly it was watchable up until the Predator / Human team-up at the end (with them running side by side in a silohouette of WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT STUPID SHIT). Anyway, Deathrace looks like fun though....im a big fan of vehicular mahem in the spirit of Mad Max, Deathproof, and even the Twisted Metal videogames....so this movie should fall into the "guilty pleasure" category of his growing pile of shit movies he has under his tightly fastened belt (hes filling up fast).
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Julius Crary died from pancreatic cancer yesterday. Damn!
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but at least they're watchable shit. I agree that Mortal Kombat completely blew me away when I was twelve and that it's still fun to watch if you're drunk.
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Next time you're walking down the street and some coked-up little fucker is trying to use your arse as a dartboard, I'm sure you won't call the police.
Next time you're robbed...."Ah fuck it, take my stuff, the police are thugs". What a shit head. The only ones who whine about the police infringing their civil liberties are the fuckers doing illegal shit they don't want busted for.
Are their assholes in the police force? Fuck yeah, but your very existence confirms the fact there are assholes in every line of work. -
...but alas, there was not.
P.W.S. Anderson is worse than Uwe Boll and I'll tell you why: Uwe Boll makes bad movies out of bad concepts/scripts/material...P.W.S. Anderson takes material that is great (Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil, AVP) and turns it into shit.
That's why he's worse. He has every possibility for greatness and he constantly pisses on it.
You know Uwe Boll is a fuck up and you don't give a shit because he's not out there pissing on your childhood. -
and if you are trying to convince yourself otherwise, well you're just not intelligent. And I watched Doomsday and enjoyed it because it was a decent premise with a good director PTAnderson gets worse with each movie, I think Event Horizon is awesome, other then that his stuff is shit, and I will never forgive him for fucking up resident evil on film...
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The black guys in the future still act like black guys. No Travis Mayweather bullshit.
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maaaybe in some ways, but like i said....i can get drunk and watch Paul Andersons movies and enjoy them (for the most part)....if i get drunk and watch a Uwe Boll movie i might throw the bottle of Jack Daniels at the fucking TV in a drunken rage of "what the fuck is this shit".....actually, i DO kinda wanna see Postal though.
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where I will be watching at midnight after a huge cookout and 12 beers are ingested. Kick back in the recliner let my mind be numbed. Sounds good to me
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I agree. He gets a bad rap, when in reality he's no worse than a majority of working directors. Hell, Spielberg's done worse movies than Mortal Kombat. Anderson is just a fairly competent director, who tends to get sloppy.
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Trashy, sleazy, dumb fun.
I want to see this. -
How's it rate up against, say Triple X (another dumb, testosterone-driven spectacle)?
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It's playing in that same league, except that it has a more 80's cool vibe.
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But if I have to clean my teeth that day, then I'm afraid I'll have to pass.
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I can watch Lawrence of Arabia if I want a classic, but sometimes I love to shut'er down and watch something that entertains my tribal instincts. This might be it. I thought Event Horizon could have been a lot better, but I liked Soldier quite a bit more. The AVPs were heart-breaking (Oh, how I loved the first graphic novel). I have only watched the first Resident Evil, so I can't comment on the rest, but, I thought it was alright to fall asleep to. Maybe one day I'll watch it again and have a better opinion, or maybe even give the following installments a chance.
Wyrm, I love the cheese too. Don't be ashamed by dickwads that can't handle watching a train-wreck. I, myself, can't keep my eyes off of them (unless I pass out). I can always grab an Oscar-winner at the local vid-store to appease the handful of cells left in the old block. -
...anybody have the early draft by David Webb Peoples? Harry said it's supposed to be a lot better than the finished film. I'd like to read it myself and see. Email me at stapleton35@gmail.com for a trade.
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http://tinyurl.com/69ch64
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Sadly that half was not Quentin Tarantino's. Say it ain't so, Q, say it ain't so! - Most self-delusional thing i heard last year - Mr Tarantino arguing the car chase scene in Death Proof was the greatest ever.
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So.. you didn't like "Event Horizon", Massawyrm ?
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Since someone's mentioned Vin Diesel, he should definitely be added to the list of actors teetering at the edge of the abyss. And I agree that Statham is just doing too much. Hasn't he had like 43 movies come out over the last two years, and everyone but Bank Job (which was okay but I thought kind of slow at parts) was forgettable.
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Player-Hater Degree.Win.
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Lets go down to the Alamo draft house!!! Ummmm the draft house I live near would be more appropriate would it not?
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Have a break, but no kit-kit Mr Statham, you haven't earned it.
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Dammit.
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Firstly...It didnt start off with Massa waxing nostalgic about stallone, cars, or how the original was making a statemet for it's day and how inferior this is to the original.
What Massa does do is tell you whats up. Good or Bad. This is a movie that doesnt need a context, subtext, subtle-meanings or pretentious bullshit social statements.This is a movie with explosions, mini-guns on the hoods of cars,and big-titty women. And you know what. Thats all i needed to hear and i'll see this with friends and be drunk while watching it. While alot of sad film-hating assholes up here curl up to their bobba fett and Yoda throw pillows and continue to cry over the death of their childhood all the while being in their 20's-30's. Thanks for always keeping it honest Massa. -
that I actually liked the film Soldier?
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Why is Anderson so hated in these talkbacks?? I LOVE SOLDIER, I like Event Horizon infact I like the majority of his work, its just escapist fun!!!
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Dude, I love how you just hate on movies you haven't seen yet. You detest certain filmmakers and fill TBs with endless hate-filled rants about said filmmakers and then you chastise Talkbackers who may be entertained by their films.You seem perfectly willing to turn your brain off for flicks like COMMANDO and yet you bitch at everyone and call them "apologists" for doing the same thing to something else. Who gives a shit!BTW - We all love THE DARK KNIGHT. You're not winning any brownie points with that token statement. And as much as we all admire his work, please quit sucking on Nolan's cock.
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People like M-0-M don't understand escapist fun; they think it equals apologism. Meanwhile, they're much more interested in appearing as some sort of credited cinema elitist.Can you say, "poseur"?
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The CoC is built upon manliness and campy movies. Kurt is viewed very highly by the CoC. The doors are always open to those that find particular joy in shitty movies.M-O-M, why so serious?
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Ah, but what you don't understand is how a piece of shit can also be escapist fun. And even if you do, you certainly won't cop to it.
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The dude likes Lifeforce and has defended Peter Hyams to me on this site..so despite his high falutin' attitude, I get his point.
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the director of Time Cop, The Relic, and End of Days???....oh my god....ALL three of those fall into the "guilty pleasure" category.....except for End of Days, that was (one of) the most over-rated pieces of Hollywood "WTF!!!" shit to drop in theaters....all this hype surrounding it, only to fail fail fail.
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And yet he has also directed Running Scared, a white cop/black cop/buddy action comedy, a year before Lethal Weapon, that showed some nice chemistry between the leads. And so-close-to-being-real good 2010. He had the actors, the effects (Lithgow's spacewalk was very well done), but none of the magic or vision or poetry of the original. Of course, then again, we are talking Hyams..
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M-o-M defended the work of Peter Hyams..so, go figure.
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I found AVP moderately entertaining.
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Anderson Anonymous...get your newcomer chip at the door.
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thanks. thanks. (awkwardly nodding, voice cracking)
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all these people mentioning Vin Diesel/Fast and the Furious... before Death Race they showed a trailer for the new Fast And Furious movie coming out in '09 that reunites Vin, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez and Jordana Brewster...
And I enjoyed the hell out of Death Race, Massa got it right, its total trash and its proud of it! Next week coincidentally is Vin Diesel in Babylon AD...
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