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An OUTLANDER Review Comes Crashing In From Germany's Fantasy Filmfest!
SPOILER ALERT !!
Beaks here...
Moriarty already sold me on Howard McCain's OUTLANDER (the one about an alien teaming up with a bunch of Vikings to hunt down and kill some dragon-like monster called a Moorwen), but I'm still interested in reading other takes on the low-budget fantasy flick - if only because I'm kinda shocked the movie exists in the first place!
To that end, here's a write-up from a German reader who caught the film at the Fantasy Filmfest in Berlin...
DoubleEM here (Romoehlio in TB`s)- thought you might be interested in an opinion regarding "Outlander".
Was at a screening in my lovely hometown of Berlin just some hours ago as it played during Fantasy Filmfestival, which has taken place over the last couple of days all over Germany.
Due to the fact that there WILL BE HUGE SPOILERS later on I will give a verdict right from the start and right now:
The movie is OK. It`s not terrible, it`s not bad, it`s not the second coming either- it`s OK. It makes an entertaining DVD-night for the people who might want to check it out (and with a premise as “blissfully retarded” - Yes,I dare to say it- as this you know if you want to or not) but it`s not really awesome either.
The premise is easy: Jim Caviezel crash lands as said “Outlander” on our lovely planet during the Viking Wars (is there something like that? It`s 709 a.d.) and brings an evil with him, which might turn out to be one mean MO`FO. He bands with some Vikings and the hunt is on. No T&A, but heads are rolling, slow`mo`s are shown and some tight moments follow.
The fights are mostly watchable, the FX are 95% terrific, the acting is solid (Ron Perlman makes one nice attendance here! Jim, although I am kind of a fan, is more on the meh-side), the score is really good and all in all everything you see on screen is good and solid work. The Monster (more on that in the SPOILER-part) is, although obviously influenced by “The Relic”, pretty cool and every time until the ending makes for one good time at the movies.
But there also are problems which I will address now and which will tip into SPOILER-territory. So here goes:
SPOILERS FOLLOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ask yourself the following question: If someone comes up to you and asks if you might be interested in a movie regarding an alien-dude who fights a monster with a bunch of viking-bad-asses, would you like to see it? There are imo 2 answers:
a) No- that sounds just plain (and I use the word again) retarded!
b) Yeah, that sounds retarded but still it sounds so bad it might be pretty awesome
As one can guess, I voted b)
Still, if you make this kind of movie- why don`t you just tear everything the F down? (budget I guess- can`t have a Michael Bay everywhere, can`t you) And break some rules??
Jim crashes, gets caught by the Vikings, they don`t believe him at first and EVERYTHING follows the same rules that every movie does that has been there before – WHY??
Examples?
The Viking-tribe is ruled by an older king who is in search of a successor – guess what – no manly heir, just a still-able-to-be-king-cause-she-is-so-awesome-girl-Girl. And she is kinda HOT also.
Oh yeah, you also do have the “prince” who isn`t really ready to be king-but-desperately-wants-to-be-king kind of guy who also wants to smooch the girl and is a dick at first but in his heart is the king he never can be!
Then you have the “hero” who comes out of nowhere- charms the girl by just being there, pisses of the other guy and still stays in the end cause he has lost his family and now has the chance to f.. the princess.
And what follows now borders on the edge of a rant: WTF do you have to have kid in a movie like this? WTF? If you come up with a premise like this- and make it in the spirit of a R-movie- why a kid? Cause it lends background and emotional depth to the hero?
I think I am not the only one when I say this: Putting a kid and/or a love-arc into a movie where a monster and some dudes square of is ONE BAD IDEA – because IT IS LAME!!
When we watch this kind of movie we want to see shit explode and get pure havoc! A kid simply annoys the fuck out of everyone I guess- it does to me. Tell me one kid that ruled in an action-movie besides the boomerang-kid in Mad Max. I still want to punch the girl from “Long Kiss Goodnight”. I know that there is a rule regarding killing children and dogs in Hollywood but when you go up to a studio and say “Listen, I have this script about a dude from Outaspace crashing on earth and he brings shit with him which he then has to face with a bunch of Vikings”- do the studios say “Well friend, you have to put a love-story and a kid in there as well”??? NO!
And I normally have trust in people who come up with something like “Outlander”. There are things in this movie which are pretty great.
The background between Jim and the Morvin is cool. The Monster is cool. The flashbacks they show are cool. But in comparison to what the movie is about all that is kind of cooler then the movie itself.
dearly wish for an all-out-war-man vs. alien-movie. Guess I have to wait for “GoW” or the once oh so promising looking “Halo”-movie (even Terminator-Salvation looks like it will hold on out on the full scale- for now?? Hope so).
Also – the spawn-thing does not get explained actually and the scene itself is kind of unclear- still, I guess that`s the bodypile is for?
Oh, and one more thing: putting a guy in a movie and calling him “Boromir” (at least that is what I heard) post LotR and name the kid “Eric”- come one... again WTF?
SPOILERS END!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, where was I? Ok, then again, all of that may sound harsh, still, the movie is kind of fun. Simply not the fun I wish it would have been. In my opinion movies like this, with a premise like this, have the chance to break some rules and to play with genre in a way which then turns a from-the-premise-really-retarted-movie into one really-still-retarted-but-awesome-movie. Here they throw in everything from “Alien” to “Beowulf” to “Species” – some shots are nearly copied!- without putting a new twist to it; sadly.
I kind of missed that. I had good hopes when they sorted out the language-barrier in a pretty cool way and the first “Norse”-word Jim said was “Fuck”. Then- it was kind of by the numbers. A chance missed in my opinion, still, a kind of OK movie.
Was at a screening in my lovely hometown of Berlin just some hours ago as it played during Fantasy Filmfestival, which has taken place over the last couple of days all over Germany.
Due to the fact that there WILL BE HUGE SPOILERS later on I will give a verdict right from the start and right now:
The movie is OK. It`s not terrible, it`s not bad, it`s not the second coming either- it`s OK. It makes an entertaining DVD-night for the people who might want to check it out (and with a premise as “blissfully retarded” - Yes,I dare to say it- as this you know if you want to or not) but it`s not really awesome either.
The premise is easy: Jim Caviezel crash lands as said “Outlander” on our lovely planet during the Viking Wars (is there something like that? It`s 709 a.d.) and brings an evil with him, which might turn out to be one mean MO`FO. He bands with some Vikings and the hunt is on. No T&A, but heads are rolling, slow`mo`s are shown and some tight moments follow.
The fights are mostly watchable, the FX are 95% terrific, the acting is solid (Ron Perlman makes one nice attendance here! Jim, although I am kind of a fan, is more on the meh-side), the score is really good and all in all everything you see on screen is good and solid work. The Monster (more on that in the SPOILER-part) is, although obviously influenced by “The Relic”, pretty cool and every time until the ending makes for one good time at the movies.
But there also are problems which I will address now and which will tip into SPOILER-territory. So here goes:
SPOILERS FOLLOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ask yourself the following question: If someone comes up to you and asks if you might be interested in a movie regarding an alien-dude who fights a monster with a bunch of viking-bad-asses, would you like to see it? There are imo 2 answers:
a) No- that sounds just plain (and I use the word again) retarded!
b) Yeah, that sounds retarded but still it sounds so bad it might be pretty awesome
As one can guess, I voted b)
Still, if you make this kind of movie- why don`t you just tear everything the F down? (budget I guess- can`t have a Michael Bay everywhere, can`t you) And break some rules??
Jim crashes, gets caught by the Vikings, they don`t believe him at first and EVERYTHING follows the same rules that every movie does that has been there before – WHY??
Examples?
The Viking-tribe is ruled by an older king who is in search of a successor – guess what – no manly heir, just a still-able-to-be-king-cause-she-is-so-awesome-girl-Girl. And she is kinda HOT also.
Oh yeah, you also do have the “prince” who isn`t really ready to be king-but-desperately-wants-to-be-king kind of guy who also wants to smooch the girl and is a dick at first but in his heart is the king he never can be!
Then you have the “hero” who comes out of nowhere- charms the girl by just being there, pisses of the other guy and still stays in the end cause he has lost his family and now has the chance to f.. the princess.
And what follows now borders on the edge of a rant: WTF do you have to have kid in a movie like this? WTF? If you come up with a premise like this- and make it in the spirit of a R-movie- why a kid? Cause it lends background and emotional depth to the hero?
I think I am not the only one when I say this: Putting a kid and/or a love-arc into a movie where a monster and some dudes square of is ONE BAD IDEA – because IT IS LAME!!
When we watch this kind of movie we want to see shit explode and get pure havoc! A kid simply annoys the fuck out of everyone I guess- it does to me. Tell me one kid that ruled in an action-movie besides the boomerang-kid in Mad Max. I still want to punch the girl from “Long Kiss Goodnight”. I know that there is a rule regarding killing children and dogs in Hollywood but when you go up to a studio and say “Listen, I have this script about a dude from Outaspace crashing on earth and he brings shit with him which he then has to face with a bunch of Vikings”- do the studios say “Well friend, you have to put a love-story and a kid in there as well”??? NO!
And I normally have trust in people who come up with something like “Outlander”. There are things in this movie which are pretty great.
The background between Jim and the Morvin is cool. The Monster is cool. The flashbacks they show are cool. But in comparison to what the movie is about all that is kind of cooler then the movie itself.
dearly wish for an all-out-war-man vs. alien-movie. Guess I have to wait for “GoW” or the once oh so promising looking “Halo”-movie (even Terminator-Salvation looks like it will hold on out on the full scale- for now?? Hope so).
Also – the spawn-thing does not get explained actually and the scene itself is kind of unclear- still, I guess that`s the bodypile is for?
Oh, and one more thing: putting a guy in a movie and calling him “Boromir” (at least that is what I heard) post LotR and name the kid “Eric”- come one... again WTF?
SPOILERS END!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, where was I? Ok, then again, all of that may sound harsh, still, the movie is kind of fun. Simply not the fun I wish it would have been. In my opinion movies like this, with a premise like this, have the chance to break some rules and to play with genre in a way which then turns a from-the-premise-really-retarted-movie into one really-still-retarted-but-awesome-movie. Here they throw in everything from “Alien” to “Beowulf” to “Species” – some shots are nearly copied!- without putting a new twist to it; sadly.
I kind of missed that. I had good hopes when they sorted out the language-barrier in a pretty cool way and the first “Norse”-word Jim said was “Fuck”. Then- it was kind of by the numbers. A chance missed in my opinion, still, a kind of OK movie.
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+ Expand All
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at least it's not some CGI-laden piece of soulless Hollywood trash.
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Was he there?
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Yes it was High Noon on a moon, but still.. a pretty good film considering.
This sounds crazy enough to be worth a watch on DVD if not a Cinematic outing. -
Always has.
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I had the pleasure of working on the last stages of this film last year at Fantasy 2 for the underwater sequences.
Jim worked so hard on this. He free dived into our water tank.
By the time the day was over his eyes were swollen shut because of all the chlorine in the pool. It looked really painful...but he didn't complain. On the last day he came around and thanked the entire crew.
I hope the film comes out well. I will be there! -
seems that word is doing a bit of a comeback.
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Fred always wanted to say that! We want Outlander!
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Aug 20, 2008 7:32:12 PM CDT
FInally Fred is here....dude AICN sucked today without you...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Does Caviezel make all of the crew refer to him as Jesus?
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I'm just saying
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but I did catch a whiff of Kyle MacLaughlin's hair once. It smelled, like, all dreamy and stuff. If this movie is anything like Reign of Fire, them I'm in. If this movie is anything like D-Wars, then I'm out. I like dragons, but not that much.
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"I'm not... No, I'm not."
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Do "The Whale Road" by Robert Low. Vikings cross-pollinated with Indiana Jones.
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Uhhhh.... Starship Troopers?!? Not war enough for the kraut? Whassa matter Jerry, the uniforms scare it out of your memory?
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was Flight of the Dragons, featuring the voices of James Earl Jones and the late John Ritter. That was a classic cartoon that doesn't get enough credit. 2nd fav dragon movie? Hopefully Outlander.
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this guy is right - some movies should just play up and focus on their strengths - the last thing i want to see in a movie like this is cute kids and love stories - people will go for the action, fx and monster on viking combat
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Aug 20, 2008 8:22:14 PM CDT
Germans use the phrase, "MO' FO" ? Interesting.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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shit, ill settle for a straight to blu ray release - come on already - same with this outlander - just release it on disc already - quit fucking around while it sits on a shelf - people want to see these you uptight studio assholes - cut your losses and get them on blu ray - rated R too
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...Everything else that I've seen on the film.
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...Its a hideous pile of shit. Yes I've seen it, even though just watching the trailer was warning enough. It's like a white boy Casshern, ugly dumber and uglier. The only benefit is that its interesting to see a movie worse than the output of Courtney Solomon or Uwe Boll. Okay...maybe not worse. As bad as.
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Aug 20, 2008 8:35:55 PM CDT
I love all you pompous cunts trying to convince me....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...this movie doesn't look good. Oh fuck off. This movie looks awesome. And to quote the great Emilio, "You can go to hell...hell....hell...."
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Kraut! Ist eine Plantishe! Jah! Das ist RICHTIG!
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every talkback with one of three lines. zzz, stairs or robots. its like a trolling that never ends. how many years, and still nothing better to do.
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yep its true, not even tom jane can save this movie. it's fricking hideous a mish mash of concepts, think bad company the comic book, cronicles of riddick and The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. words cannot really do it justice. it really is the worst movie i've seen this year. outlander, i've said it before and i'll say it again market it as Predator.
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This sounds like low-budget tits. Can't wait to see it stateside.
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and Caviezel would never say "fuck" because he's a devoted catholic
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Aug 20, 2008 9:46:52 PM CDT
DarthBakpao why can't devoted Catholics say FUCK?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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...so I hope that Outlander is at least OK. I love the premise. Of course it isn't going to be a "Dark Knight" caliber showing, but it sounds like some good escapism for a couple of hours. Let's face it though: This is only a warm-up to movies like "Thor" (Which I'm DYING to see), more "Conan" (Milus' vision was OK, but it wasn't the REAL Conan we know from the graphic novels), and many other possibilities. I think it's great that Outlander is messing with the stereotypical Viking or monster movie, it just sounds like it wasn't messed with enough. Let's face it, if we all go and see this and it makes a few bucks, every studio will want a similar movie, and one of them might just sink a boatload of money into making a truly stellar movie.
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Um... well the boomerang kid works pretty well dontchathink? And then there's NEWT. Don't think she completely ruined ALIENS. And maybe young JOHN CONNOR in TERMINATOR 2? And well so its a stupid point.
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Well of COURSE studios don't say that. That's why its amazing and good when it happens! Geezus! -
...and not borrowing from it. The premise of the movie is the Beowulf tale we know is actually the story of Jim vs Alien as seen through the eyes of simple nordic folk.
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so I'm watching it and that's the bottom line. The Girl is gorgeous!
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regarding kids in kickass action movies. i got plenty more where that came from
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You know you want to see it.
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but still lacked some kind of oomph regarding the war-theme (specially at the end) - I want SPR ind space!
And Yeah, Ed Furlong and Newt were good - hmmm - both in JC movies. Both of them were important chracters for story and progress, here the kid "Eric" has no true thing to do exept being the replacement kid for the lost son of Jim`s- something you don not really need! -
Aug 21, 2008 2:06:41 AM CDT
I like me another BEOWULF, keep them coming.
by stereotypical evil archer
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...are always added to films to widen the demographic (ie, rope in the kids)What the suits fail to realise is that kids despise seeing other kids on the screen. They don't 'empathize' with 'em and they don't have a 'hey, that could be me!' moment - they simply despise the little fuckers for getting in the way of the grown-up hero they *really* want to be.Compare and contrast Jake Lloyd in Ep I to Mark Hamill in Ep IV. Which do you think the 'kids' preferred, Hollywood?
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'Reign Of Fire' crossed with '13th Warrior', right?.Hell, I'll give it a go!
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...Weren't giant piles of shit or anything.
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How about Inglorious Bastards? The way AICN is going about this one, is putting me off... never imagined that would happen, me not looking forward to a QT flick ):
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inglorious Bastards will be shit QT has lost it......and he only really had it for a short time but is still getting away with it on past glories
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A Scandinavian (Danish) Viking movie directed by Nicholas Winding Refn who made the nasty little 'Pusher' trilogy, and starring the lovely Mads Mikkelsen. If you only know him from Casino Royale, you're missing out - he's great. As far as I know, it's English language and it's currently being shot in Scotland (check out You Tube and Twitch film). Sadly though, looks like it may also have a kid in it - hopefully he won't be too annoying!
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What about 300? Snakes at least knew that it was a dumb movie, but 30 is probablöy the most annoying movie of the last decade and AICN loved the shit out of it!
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How can anyone bitch about the premise of this movie. I mean for the love of God, you are on Ain't It Cool News. What do you want? More W reviews?
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...Moriarty loved both of these films. Sky Captain was a fucking horrendous pile of shit pimped by Harry. Snakes On A Plane isn't really fair though, since ever goddamn internet site was sucking that flicks dick, and it really had the cahnce to deliver a good bad film experience.
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This is prime viewing at the Pillow household. While my hopes for stupidity maybe raised too high, I think it'll deliver. Not every movie can be Doomsday quality....Oh yes, Doomsday kicked so much stupid ass.
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...Right into annoying boring land. It was stupid, yes. Also ugly, obnoxious, inept and amazingly cheap and nasty looking DESPITE its larger budget. Plus booooring as bat shit. That chick was hot though. Outlander, I expect, may kick as much stupid ass as Sphere or Event Horizon or The 13th Warrior.
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So what's your point? Obnoxious and inept are some of its stronger points. And the 13th Warrior is an awesome movie.
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I might have missed it, but he goes into spoilers, say everything save the ending, and then doesn't actually even address his probs with the ending? Is that right?
I'm not slagging reviewer, but honestly mentioning the movie has a kid in it doesn't really relate to me why it is bad. He doesn't talk about said kid's performance.
I'm looking forward to this, but my expecations have always been tempered. How could they not be? It seems too like he wanted a different movie than it was. -
It mostly comes out at night ...mostly
Or in Viking speak..Grunt mostly grunt grunt grunt grunt...mostly. -
Neigh means Neigh!
Or in Viking speak..nevermind, they don't take neigh for an answer. -
Again, I have a tendency to trust Mori's original review, he did afterall refer me to similar stuff like Pitch Black and Equilibrium, and while not brilliant movies, I had alot of fun with them. This looks in the same vein.
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is there any complexity to the Morwen, or is it just a viscious nasty beast? Mori seemed to suggest there might be more to it than that. Or he was just saying it might be a SMARTER viscious beast than we are used to.
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how long will this movie bounce around, before being dropped somewhere? Wouldn't it be better to just do something with it now?
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That was part of the problem with Snakes on a Plane.
It was hype, hype, hype...long delay, then release.
If they had timed the release a little sooner then I bet at least 30% more box office take.
Of course I don't think has the same level of hype, but I'm excited. -
Aug 21, 2008 8:46:45 AM CDT
start advertising it now, and while October might be a little so
by jonah echo
I bet you could get an eary January release, and make a bit of money.
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You are learning quickly my former padawan
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there is some complexity to the Morwen, yes. They give it kind of a background which actually is nice but it`s not much. Still, the Morwen rocked
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Newt and Furlong were good- but they also were part of totally different movies.
Here, you just DO NOT need a kid besides the fact that it lends a tiny bit of more depth to Jim`s character.
Still, I just have seen Tropic Thunder - and the kids in this movie are great! (Although nothing tops Tom Cruise in this. Nothing!) -
What kind of intelligence did the Moorwen show?
Predator smart or Xenomorph smart? -
thanks for the comments. I think I understand your position better. Sounds like the kid isn't a character, but just a plot point for Jim to recall his old family.
Regarding the ending, did you silike it because it was predictable, or somehow went against what had come before, was implauisble, etc? Or was it just unsatisfying? -
The kids performance is fine. It`s just the character itself (wait till you see his "transformation").
And regarding the ending part- it was meant in the way that during the end the monster is simply toned and tamed down to give the guys a chance. although there is a reason for that it still is, compared to how it rocks before, simply sad -
Reminded Crowe of his kid. I don't mind that at all.
What I don't want is the kid going along in battle and tossing rocks at the Moorwen with a slingshot. -
Can it breathe fire or fly?
I really could care less about character devolopment or love angles, I just want to know how badass this creature is. -
that would almost be nutty enough to work...but also silly.
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Don`t know about intelligence but it is one mean sucker when it comes to tear some dudes up. I would tend to Xenomorph or if even just "Relic"
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And thank you for both the review and fielding the questions regarding it. My question is, do you typically like creature flicks? For ex. what were your thoughts on the following?
Pitch Black
Deep Blue Sea
Thirteenth Warrior
Mimic
Reign of Fire.
Not all of those, but maybe just enough to get a feel for your taste? Thanks again, dude. -
So you want to know it all, huh? OK
SPOILER!!!!!!!!
It looks like the "Relic" but also has one mean little tailsection that it uses like a whip (three whips). It also has "Bioluminisence" (think Abyss-glowing) - which also makes for one really bad-ass-kill.
It can`t fly, it can`t breath fire! -
the trailer showed the tail whip and the bioluminescence. It sounds like we have a B-movie winner here, even if it isn't quite a full blown "good" movie.
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Pitch Black - liked it a lot. The crash at the beginning of this is (although shorter) quite similar
Deep Blue Sea - liked it and really enjoyed it at the movies
13th Warrior - was Ok but I can`t really remember much. Wasn`t it toned down to get a better rating?
Mimic - had some pretty good and tense moments
Reign of Fire - I would have loved to see it going more full-scale (again, budget i think. putting some apaches on the one-sheet and then only have people jump out of a chopper is not the same) but as it is i do enjoy it every time I see it. Especially the endfight.
I really like movies like that but I think its time to go f-ing full-scale. Get me Michael Bay! -
In case your are wondering I'm the guy that cares more for the creature than the people in the movies.
I just wanted to make sure this was an original creature idea, which sounds like it is.
Also unlike most on here, I do not really mind mild spoilers, but they do so I won't ask too many more detailed questions. -
Sounds like your coming from about the same taste-level as myself. Have you seen any other films at the festival?
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No i haven`t. Was out of town during most part of last month. Even was coincidence that I saw them showing Outlander. And now its over. But I scanned the programm- sounded good, although I relly hoped for Sukiyaki Western Django - they didn`t have it...
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You had me until "get me Michael Bay".
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You can put a (close the spaces of course) at the end of a sentence to get a paragraph.
I'm not trying to be a smartass by any means, but it makes it easier to read the longer posts.
Also, have you seen Dragonslayer? -
WAIT - I used it as a synonym for full-scale-destruction :-)
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and Bay ain't it.
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thanks for the tip and no i haven`t
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really curious
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with Django. It was TOO much of a mess. Barely coherent, and as a result, you have to try and enjoy it,and pretend like you are in on whatever oxygen deprived in-joke Miike is peddling. And I say this as a guy who loves Zebraman and Happiness of the Katakuris.
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I really liked the trailer and myself some fun Samurai-Western-Whatever. Good to know
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I'd totally a watch a movie with dragons directed by Michael Bay. And I have to say, the movie I imagined when Touchstone announced Reign of Fire(and were rumoring that Ahnuld would be the villain)was far more of a big bright action film. When the trailers gave us that blue tinted, post-apocalypse rocky field look with smoky dragons, I became a little disappointed.
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in case I'm wrong, but try to find some nice cheap way of seeing it.
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It's a poster who calls himself Total Fucking Destruction. There are theories that it's actually one of the site contributors using that handle.
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There is no CGI and the dragon looks amazing.
It is still the standard by which I judge all dragon movies.
It is a Disney movie, but don't let that fool you, as it has nudity and virgin suicide by dragon. -
Too much focus on some teenage hero and like fifteen minutes of dragon screen time.
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Still, sometimes he may allow someone else to use TFD!
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and then give it to Bay, and only let him plan the explosions, not behind the camera.
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Sounds pretty good!! And Jonah, I will wait for the Dvd to rent SWD
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I concur. The Gold standard of Dragon Movies. Thanks for reminding me Chitty. I will watch that again very soon.
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That could be what everyone thought Reign of Fire would be - Dragon vs. Mankind - full scale!
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I just watched it the other night. It's one of the finest examples of 80s fantasy. Ralph Richardson is awesome. As is the Vermithrax.
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Flight of the Dragons, good on them! That was a cool little animated movie. I recall seeing it back in the 80s and just really getting in to it. It was one of the things that cemented my status as a young fantasy fan. Loved James Earl Jones as the voice of the villainous wizard. And also, the Troll with the peg leg!
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Show the fall of man.
Show it! -
why so critical? Go see the movie, and get us your lyrical review, ASAP!
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It is OK - has a lot going for it, has a lot going against it. It could have been better, then again, a lot of movies could have been. make out of that whatever you want.
And I think Termaire really would make a good movie but will never find a huge audience... then again, even Dragonheart made more then even didn`t it? -
always have. Don't understand the dislike. It was one of the better movies that summer, along with The Frighteners and The Arrival. That was the summer most of the B-pictures were better than the big budget stuff like ID4, Mission Impossible, Twister, etc.
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He looked like he was sporting the Karl Urban medieval hero look. At first glance at the first teaser, I thought it was Karl.
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just phoning it in, or actually giving us a good portrayal as the fading king?
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that Mutant Chronicles isnt any good. Of course it looked suspect from the trailers.
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I'd agree with Mori and company. That movie may not be great, but it was a great time at the theater for me.
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Cinema was completely packed, literally wasn't a spare seat in the house, and the crowd really seemed to enjoy it. Personally I thought the film was great, cool pic that straddles a few different genres well and comes across as a nice mixture of Predator/Braveheart/Beowulf, but still feeling pretty original on it own. Everything here is handled a hell of a lot more intelligently than what you'd expect from a movie which is essentially 'Giant Alien Vs Vikings', cast did a good job, and the kid was fine (he has like 3 lines in the entire fucking film) Basically anyone who enjoys Sci-Fi Action/Adventure done well should be looking forward to checking this one out when (and if) they get the chance, It's a fun film.
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And who is....TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION?
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It felt like it was so trying to be a Star Wars prequel. Angelina is fucking horrid in that film....and the designs are good, but the story just falls flat for me. I wanted more shit in the city. The second it went to that island jungle place I was done....
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is this more of a PG-13 or an R in rating? Also, your opinion, Morwen complex or simply savage?
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Aug 21, 2008 10:00:44 AM CDT
I still think Mutant Chronicles looks great...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...to me it looks like a better Sky Captain almost. I think a lot of people just go in not having love for these sort of films...they want everything to be Hugh Jackman running around in a fucking wife-beater. -
No complaints here. Something new and different. Worked for me.
I mean it had giant robots...Helloo? -
Id think PG-13, its didnt seem to graphic in my eyes. The Morwen is actually pissed off for a reason, and does have a backstory, so while I wouldnt exactly say 'complex' I did have some sympathy for it by the end of the film.
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I am a huge fan of the Fleischer(sp) Superman cartoons. I bought them when they first came out on Beta! So, I have loved the look of them for a very long time. When I saw the trailer for Sky Captain I damn near stroked out. I could not believe that someone had translated the look of that animation to the big screen. I could not wait to see that movie. Opening night I was there. The scene with the Robots flying then marching on NYC - just like in the most Iconic of the Fleischer animation, was pure joy. Five minutes of greatness. Then it all came to a screeching halt. The the actors opened their mouths. It all fell apart. Describing Gwyneth as wooden is an insult to petrified trees. A beaker filled with bacteria had more chemistry than her and Jude Law. Then the story just fell apart. Then the visuals stopped being as great as that opening scene. It turned into a very sad movie experience. I bought the DVD and it is still bad.
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at an old movie house and I really felt like it was true to the spirit of a 30s picture. The only real downfall is that Law and Paltrow arent quite charismatic enough to hit the acting style of the time.
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I've been busy at work and I've taken a few half days this week. Plus I've been busy redoing a bathroom.And you've never been in a thread with Total Fucking Destruction?
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Then again, if something like Pitch Black got an R in the US maybe this would as well. Im from Australia originally, and Outlander would almost certainly get an M there (which comes in between PG-13 and R)
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http://www.aintitcool.com/talkback_display/37214#comment_2135149 http://www.aintitcool.com/talkback_display/37849#comment_2219284
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Oh hell yeah I have.....I love that shit, "If Indiana Jones 4 disappoints, it shall be TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION." I was meaning who do you think he is? Whats the theory? -
Maybe it was the casting of Sky Captain that ruined it. The visuals were great. I just don't think there was enough cool robots tearing up the city shit. That was only like 5 minutes....and again Angelina's character. What is wrong with you people?!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH -
using a second handle to post that random shit like Quint for instance.
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That line about TDK is fucking hilarious, I love how he uses all character names except for Morgan. He is still just Morgan.
Joker: TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION
Batman: TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION
Morgan Freeman: TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION
Alfred the Butler: TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION -
I think the concept was solid, but the execution failed. And Danny's right, Angelina should NOT have been in it.
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I love when a talkbacker invokes his name in the hopes that he shows up and...lo and behold there is TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION. The joy and happiness that now accompanies that thread is quite a tangible thing.TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION = Christmas.
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It wil almost warrant an actual in the flesh meeting of the COC,or whatever we are these days. Like some three day long film festival where we all meet.
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Outlander, Dragonslayer, Jurrasic Park, etc..
Also have a shitload of cock and cases of Everclear.
That should be shitloads of Coke (You know for those who don't drink)
Sorry Danny, had to throw out that reference, as I still laugh about that. -
was and still is a fun adventure movie. Yes, some of the acting was stiff, but I've seen it 4 times now and it hasn't really bothered me. I just assumed that Law's character was a bit of a dry witted stiff himself. Paltrow is trying to recreate the stereo-typical 'girl looking for a big scoop' you see in the backgrounds and margins of countless noir flicks. Those characters were traditionally wooden becaues they were cast with front office personnel - "hey Sally answers our phones and uses the typewriter in the office. She could do this quick part right here, couldn't she?" - so again, I didn't have a problem with her in Sky Captain, because I think it worked as a send-up to all those who played that same character before her.
Also the movie tried to stay light and fun while being dramatic.
If Im flipping channels and its on, I watch it. -
I've only watched Sky Capt once, but I seem to remember not enough robots like Danny said, or enough action. And I do remember not liking Angelina's character. Much like almost anything else with me, I like to view a movie a second time to make sure I didn't miss something.
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shitload of cock and Everclear, eh? Sounds like Richard Simmons' Bar Mitzvah.
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One name: Rosalind Russell.
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Aug 21, 2008 10:45:09 AM CDT
oh yeah....that was my Lethal Weapon 5 pitch.....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Danny spitting and drooling all over himself while being tortured, and shitloads of COCK!! YES!! What happened to the guy that made the handle: SHITLOADS_OF_COCK?
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Wonder what happens to those guys that just post once and disappear?
Anyways, I'm picturing Richard Simmons vs. a Moorwen now.
Simmons "Oh settle down you big bully!"
Moorwen: Slashes tail, ripping a tree in half right behind Simmons.
Simmons: "Oh I know you did-ent!" -
Aug 21, 2008 10:56:15 AM CDT
When Mr. Caviezel strikes down with his wrath
by total_fucking_destruction
It shall be TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION
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Simmons "Oh settle down you big bully!"
Moorwen: Slashes tail, ripping a tree in half right behind Simmons.
Simmons: "Oh I know you did-ent!"
Simmons runs up and overhand slaps Moorwen on side of its head.
Simmons:"Bitch!"
Moorwen, confused by this strange behavior from what usually is prey, retreats for second while confused.
Simmons: "MMmmm, Hell no you did-ent just turn your back on me!"
Moorwen is so confused at this point it leaps into the woods to regroup.
Simmons, who is red in the face from getting so flustered, realizes his flaming attack has worked.
Simmons: Snapping finger over his head as he spins around to walk back to camp.."That's what I thought! Fussy britches handled and now for you fuzzy britches! Come here to me..."
Simmons skips towards a Viking who seems more confused than the Moorwen as he tightens his grip on his sword...
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and a roomful of alter boys
TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION -
It's like Beetlejuice, but different.
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I look forward to future installments where Simmons meets The Brimm.
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or not.
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Oliver Stone and a roomful of high prices Hawaiian whores--
TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION -
That would kick ass if there was a scene where the Morwen tore Ellen Paige's head off.....while Diablo gave Jesus Caviezel a lap dance in the background to a GNR song.
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than us mortals.
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Aug 21, 2008 11:13:06 AM CDT
Cat_Corporation, I'll be looking for VALHALLA RISING.
by stereotypical evil archer
It has my interest.
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He would be Bill Goldberg in Santa's Slay.
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Looking forward to it. And Outlander.
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Aug 21, 2008 11:19:04 AM CDT
Santa's Slay? Hahaha.....did you ever check that
by dannyglovers_dickblood
out?
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Because you don't find the word "fuck" in the bible. It's a dirty word. Okay, i still think Caviezel should be Superman, who's with me?
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impersonate TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION.
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Aug 21, 2008 11:22:02 AM CDT
DarthBakpao -- uhhhh......you don't find the word IRRITABLE...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...in the Bible. So that makes it dirty? How do you know what words are in The Bible? Did you translate it from its original text?
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take your underscores and shove them up your urethra until your prostate receives TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION.
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Ok it seems pointless to go on discussing whether the word "fuck" exists in the bible or not. Now, what do you think of Caviezel as Superman? I can't seem to get people to agree with me on this perfect casting
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I think he has the look....but he is a little too much of a weirdo. He can't really play normal for Clark....
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Hahahaha...how many are there?!! FUCK!!
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Played his Clark Kent like his character on Pay it Forward?
Kent:"Uh, Hi.."
Lane: "Oh Hi Clark what is going on? Did you beat that dealine for the City Council story?"
Kent: stares at a paperclip on the floor while gently rocking on his heels...doesn't respond.
Lane: "Clark are you stoned or high on something? What is going on?"
Kent: Realizing Lane is correct on both observations..."Uh, Hi..." -
in interviews for Passion he gave me the fucking creeps. Thats not to say I dont like him...he just cant play normal people.
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Aug 21, 2008 11:59:32 AM CDT
Cock Tease....you totally killed the mood there...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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shall we head back over to Twitch for a bit and overthrow the Bush TB?
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Short Round.
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The bad ass kid in Phantasm....he fucked fired guns and chopped the Tall Man's finger's off with no hesitation. He took care of business.... -
I think you guys are missing the point of Sky Captain. You have to understand that is not a regular Hollywood movie per se. That was something that a guy just started on his computer. He was just a fanboy/movie lover like any of us. He eventually sold the rights to it just so he could see it completed. Because of that, you really have to respect it for what it is.
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I'm familiar with his backstory, and I understand that a first time Director with big name stars may capitulate more easily to the stars acting choices than a more seasoned director. But, it still does not excuse HIS choices. It was his script and his movie and his editing. The movie fell apart with boring sequences and nonsense. The chemistry thing between Law and Paltrow was not his fault. But he could have given Paltrow a copy of the Front Page - with Rosalind Russell if she was so hell bent on trying to recreate a 30's style female go-getter journalist. He should have seen how ineffective her acting was on the dailys. And why is it, that Sky Captain, who seems to have an entire mercenary army at his disposal, was the only one fighting the robots in New York - or anywhere else for that matter? I mean if it was a budgetary decsion, ok. But it seemed more likely to be a writing choice - a bad one at that. The big reveal of the villain being dead and the plans being on automatic - well that just sucked. Took any final confrontation/resolution right out of the movie. I think it is telling that he probably sold the movie with those first five minutes of outstanding Robot action in NYC (I can forgive SC fighting alone in that scene because I just loved those Robots). But, when it came time to deliver the rest of the movie, his lack of experience and lack of skill as a director, and writer, proved his undoing. I do understand your point though. If this had been a no name cast -it would have been more forgivable, and perhaps a geek favorite.
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Except he didn't say it was 100% god awful which is what I would expect. yes, the premise is retarded. How the hell did this make it past studio execs? It sounds like the plot to a direct to video 80's movie starring the guy from Eddy and the Cruisers movies.
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That sums it up pretty good. I'm glad there's someone else who knows the back story, to at least know what I'm talking about.
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I have to go easier on Sky Captain because the guy was a fan like us? Uhhhh....he had $70 million dollars at his disposal and he totally fucked it up. He had some nice designs, but story, casting, and execution was shit. IMO he fucked up an amazing opportunity. I love the genre.....but he just didn't have the talent to pull it off.
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OK, maybe I'm seeing it through rose colored glasses. I just don't remember the acting, directing, etc. being that bad. I do remember that the whole Angelina thing made me want to cringe, but I get that same reaction when I see her do any of her lame tough chick roles. I do understand that the story was weird, but it was meant to be. That was the point. It was a tribute to old weird serial movies.
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I loved the movie. I walked out of it, listening to "Over the Rainbow play", with my wife and my parents at an old school movie house and felt like I had just seen something lifted from that era, with cgi of course. The only scene that lost me was the Atlantis attack-too much like videogame. The rest was truly a piece of fun, and the nostalgiac bits really worked. I liked the look, liked the action, liked the silly little plot. And if you want some company, Damage:
http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20040917/REVIEWS/409170301/1023
As I said, it's a personal fave, and I watch it often too. Movie looks great on a big screen, and up-converted. Just a ton of fun. -
so take that it into consideration. Heh.Heh.
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Aug 21, 2008 3:27:15 PM CDT
Peter Hyams could out-direct Kerry whatever...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
..his name is any day.
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That Ebert review is exactly how I feel about it.
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Can you explain to me how you can appreciate Sound of Thunder for what it is and not Sky Captain? I'm just dying to know.
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Like when he had the girl's name hidden in the letters of his plane. Or when the girl carried around the camera with one shot left and then decided to take a picture of the guy instead. And then forgetting the lens cap! Those are both clever writing examples.
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from Bride of Frankenstein and Godzilla's guest appearance in the news paper, and King Kong's tree.
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"Vienna Sausauges. God, it's been a long time."
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Sure....Sound of Thunder cost 20 million less than Sky Captain. Sound's visual effects company went bankrupt halfway through the production and they had to make due with what they had. So taking that into consideration, you have to respect it for what it is-- like you wanted me to respect Sky Captain for what it is. Sky Captain is a first time director with 70 million dollars....sure. Sound of Thunder is a seasoned director with a shit visual effects company and 50 something million.....here are some reasons for Sound of Thunder rockin' my world:
Angelina Jolie is not in Sound of Thunder. Ben Kingsley is....and even though its one of his worst roles of his life, he is still better than any cast member of Sky Captain. Sound of Thunder looks cheap as shit, but its no gimmick. Its not trying really hard to be something it is not. Sound of Thunder reminds me of all those great cheap ass Sci-Fi channel monster movies I love. Sky Captain reminds me of the worst moments of the Star Wars prequels. -
"Ben Kingsley is....and even though its one of his worst roles of his life" you haven't seen War Inc. yet, have you?
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Though I retract my statement anyway about Kingsley, I forgot about BloodRayne. Fuck me was he funny in that....but he is meant to be scary.
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I CAN appreciate Sound of Thunder for what it is. Unfortunately, most people can't get past the terrible effects. Now that's a movie that may be ripe for a remake.
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Imagine that villain guy from Wild Wild West with Will Smith. You know, the guy in the wheelchair thing. Instead of an idiot with a bad Southern accent, you have a homosexual Ben Kingsley instead. It's horrendous.
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Ben Kingsley tried to make out with John Cusack before attempting to kill him. I'm not kidding.
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Hhahaha....thats the funniest fucking thing ever. It would be even better if he was the vampire from BloodRayne in a wheelchair trying to make out with both Cusacks.
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...Doomsday boring and unwatchable. It's anti-fun. You thought the 13th Warrior was awesome!? Oh wait, you just admitted to having shit taste and a masochistic taste for dull, lazy, boring films. War Inc. Would have gone down as a classic bad movie, if we hadn't seen a year packed with the likes of Speed Racer and The Happening.
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I'm happy to report that John Cusack successfully avoids the make out session and then dumps Kingsley into the back of a garbage truck as it is mashing the trash. Thus, putting him in said wheelchair.
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It had some descent satire to it, but it just dropped into absurdity too many times. It is about like watching a car accident. You want to look away , but you just can't.
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Aug 21, 2008 4:38:58 PM CDT
Sound Of Thunders problems went way beyond effects...
by whinynegativebitch
...It was a bad script to begin with. Everything about it was wrong. Bad direction, poor performances, bad conceptual design...I never really hated on it though, simply because it felt like I was watching a work print the whole time. Even in that state its a better movie than Sky Captain or the new benchmark of fucking awful "Actors standing in front of pre babylon 5 video game footage" cinema, The Mutant Chronicles.
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Did that final shot of War Inc. where the missile is launched at the plane mean that Cusack and company died?
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Has anyone here seen War Inc.?
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Aug 21, 2008 4:58:33 PM CDT
WhinyNegativeBitch -- dude you're taste in films is shit.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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That sounds awesomely horrible. What a fucking funny situation with Ghandi trying to blow Cusack in a wheelchair and gets compacted like the fucking Shredder in Ninja Turtles.
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I enjoyed it thouroghly. It will be this generation's Tron. No doubt in my mind about that.
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I know of no-one who came out of TRON saying "meh...".
I know of no-one who came out of Speed Racer saying anything but "meh...".
TBH, I think this generation is too experienced from such a young age to ever have a TRON, an ET or a Star Wars. Shame... -
Aug 21, 2008 5:37:29 PM CDT
I came out of Speed Racer saying nothing will top....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...it this year....and I still believe that. TDK is a close second.
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Aug 21, 2008 5:57:41 PM CDT
Wow.. alot of movies being thrown against the wall in here..
by jonah echo
Speed Racer was great. War Inc. was pretty junky. And yes, I think that's what the last shot meant Damage. Sound of Thunder should have been great, but it wasn't. There were lots of reasons, but mostly the fx. And WNB, what movies do you like? I don't think you should attempt genre films anymore. I dont mind that rudely, it just seems like you are setting yourself up for a bad time.
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I had a lot of fun watching it. Sure it was bad in parts and the effects weren't great but damn if it didn't make me giddy with all the crazy stuff it kept throwing at the wall.
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But it didn't really do much for me. It was kind of neat, a little like the visual style of Sin City but it just lacked the necessary spark. I the end I just really didn't care about it.
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I agree it suffers from bad acting by the whole cast (especially Paltrow, she was the worst thing about Iron Man) and lack of action, but I thoroughly enjoyed it! A great sci-fi concept that could have been amazing if given to a more experienced director.
And Whiny, do you ever like anything? Doomsday was a masterpiece, it was over the top trash that reveled in its over the top trashiness, making it both the best and worse movie of the year! -
...But who knows. I don't think anyone working on the film knew what the hell was going on. Yeah Danny, my taste sucks, but your a fan of Peter Hyams worst cinematic effort. You know, the guy whose high point was 2001 For Dummies. Tron was a visually unique and groundbreaking film. Speed Racer just looked like a shitty video game cut scene. Tron blew little kids minds, Speed Racer sent them to sleep. I love genre films, just not crappy ones like Doomsday or Sky Captain, i.e, genre films made as homages to genre films by people who only know genre films covered by Empire magazie. Doomsday is a perfect example of a b movie for people who aren't real fans of genre cinema. They aren't even into it enough to be fans of Raw Nerves output. It wasn't over the top or exploitive enough to be fun for the sake of trashiness, it was just a badly made action film, like something stuck to the bottom of Paul W.S. Andersons shoe. Some genre films I enjoyed this (some last cause of where I live) year would be, I guess, Hatchett, B13, Sukiyaki Western, Behind The Mask, Rest Stop, Joshua, REC, Vacancy...I don't know...Lots. I watch so many movies, and so many old movies, that only the really good ones or the really awful ones stand out. So while I forget about say...The Orphanage, a good film, or The Cottage, a bad film, I remember really bad movies like War Inc. or Speed Racer, or really good films like The Dark Knight or Pineapple Express. The thing with films like Doomsday, is that its neither better made, nor as entertaining, nor as trashy and over the top and fun as the films it steals from. I've seen Escape From New York and Escape From L.A. and After The Fall Of New York and The Bronx Warriors. I've even seen well made, fun riffs on the genre made recently, like the aforementioned B13. So why, or how, could I enjoy a lazy, poorly thrown together and watered down version? I mean, I tend to cut em some slack or laugh AT them a little more when its uber low budget junk, but when they have just wasted heaps of talented and shitloads of money, I don't know, its like asking my brain to enjoy the works of Michael Bay.
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Neil Marshall fans who claim to be genre fans are like Sum 41 fans who claim to be punk. Sure, your not as bad as Avril Lavigne fans (think Kurt Wimmer or equivilant) but your still embarassing.
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But Marschall´s "the Dencent" was pretty great, you have to confess. Guess he´s just hit and miss! Hell, I even loved Anderson´s "Event Horizon" and he didn´t made any good movie after that.
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I have no doubt my taste differs from yours since I enjoy the more cheesy, shitty movies. I'm not sure if you understand that, or are you from the M-O-M perspective who's mind can get around the fact the someone can enjoy great and shitty movies at different levels? I enjoyed Doomsday just like I enjoy The Road Warrior. Daisy..great movie. The Warlords, solid fucking movie. The Protector? Silly fucking movie but I love Tony Jaa breaking limbs. The Devil's Backbone was good, not great. Love Pan's. I haven't seen the Orphanage yet though.And your broad painting of Neil Marshall fans is stupid. The Descent is a great movie, and Dog Soldiers ain't bad either.Your opinion is not right nor is mine.
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...How fucking good the first two thirds of that film are. I mean, compared to his other work. The ending just completely ruined the movie for me...However, I know there are two versions out there, so maybe when I see the other version, it might click with me better. I don't know Pillow Talk. To me Mad Max 2 ISN'T a shitty movie. Its certainly got campny elements and its central premise is a little on the goofy side, but its a kick ass, exciting, thrilling, entertaining, well made action film. It's like comparing a John Woo action film to a Michael Bay one. The central conceits are just as ridiculous, but its all in the execution. The Orphanage is similar to the others and Devils. I actually liked it better than both movies, but like alot of horror films, especially ghost stories, once the mystery is unveiled, it kind of leaves a limp third act to get through. Check out REC though, for spanish horror. I saw the poster for the american remake at the cinema yesterday.
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more appropriate. It's a shame that it was changed, for whatever damn reason.Oh, and I wasn't calling Road Warrior a shitty movie, I was saying I like good ones (I consider that one good) and shitty ones (Doomsday). I don't see REC on netflix though, unless I'm missing something. Tis a shame since I've heard good things about it.
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Not twice in the same viewing. I gave it a go, and fell asleep. A year or so later, it was on the telly and I gave it a second chance... and fell asleep again.You are boring, Sky Captain, and also more brown than Alien 3, which makes you a contender for brownest film of all time.
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Did you catch Hellboy II yet?
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Hola Pillow
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Neigh means Neigh!
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...REC got grabbed up and buried in the U.S. until the American remake clears its cinema run. Pretty aggravating, but thats what multi-region players...or the internet...are for.
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Been laid low with the flu since Sunday, which sucked, sucked, sucked. Still, I am now back on my feet and ready to do stuff that does not invlove lying in bed and aching. Although, I did treat myself to a sickness gift of the Bourne DVD box set, so I watched all those and loved every second of them all. Bright side to everything and whatnot.Hellboy II is now officially out here in sunny England, but I haven't had chance to see it yet. Hopefully, I should be seeing it next Tuesday or Wednesday, so I'll let you know how it goes. The first was on the telly at the weekend, so I gave it another watch and thoroughly enjoyed it. Goes a bit limp toward the end, but I just love watching Ron Perlman play that character. And I've said it before and I'll say it again, any guy who loves cats and works out while listening to Tom Waits is exactly my kind of guy.How are things in the US? Everyone there seems to be winning many medals. What's yours for? I got a silver in the men's 100 metre lazyness event. Pretty cool.
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Whatever that is. Toad said so, and who am I to argue with toad?
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Neigh means Neigh!
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I won a gold in ditching work a bit earlier and earlier each end of day for the past week. I've been going for an Olympic record for that one...
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Gotcha! Neigh Means Neigh!
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If you are still around. You should be able to find [REC] on the interwebs easily enough. It was on google video for the longest time. But don't worry, when we get closer to the release of Quarantine, there will be a DVD of [REC] right before hand.
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hits the theaters, maybe you won´t find the genius original any more appealing after Hollywood ripped it of. Pretty much like the whole remade Asian-Horror-Flics.
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you are hereby prohibited from ever venturing an opinion on bad movies again. Sphere? That underwater POS? one of the worst fucking films I've ever seen.
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