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After DEATH RACE's Gale Force Idiocy Has Passed...We'll Get Statham In TRANSPORTER 3!! And Here's A Poster For It...
Merrick here...
So I just finished watching Statham in Paul W.S. Anderson's DEATH RACE.
It may well be the most unapologetically dumb, deliriously dopey movie ever made. It's fueled by boundless illogic and clumsy, hollow efforts towards Verhoevenesque social satire. It's not even consistent within the dumb "universe" it sets itself in.
THE CONDEMNED and THE RUNNING MAN, both imperfect films on their own merits, handled very similar material much, much more proficiently. You'll see strong influences from both titles here.
I'd seriously considered writing a "full" review of DEATH RACE, but I honestly don't know where to start. It chokes on an abundance of often incomprehensible action and thoroughly asinine conceptualization - all of which is delivered with almost no sense of fun.
It's a relentless assault on the senses, and takes a gooey, steamy, nut-laced dump on its audience's intelligence.
Anderson tries to mix the cocky nihilism of vintage Carpenter with the adrenalized bad-assity of THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS, while throwing in Maro Kart race mechanics for good measure. But it all feels insincere and poser like. And, it all ends up as sound and fury, signifying nausea.
But none of this is particularly surprising, is it?
Anyway, Statham's in a third TRANSPORTER film later this year and Arnaud called our attention to a poster for it on a French website named filmsactu.com. I'd post a thumbnail here, but my FTP is hosed at the moment.
However, if you wanna see it...
CLICK HERE!!!
CLICK HERE!!!
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+ Expand All
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Aug 20, 2008 3:15:12 PM CDT
Dumbest thing Ive seen in movie - Satans exploding piss
by jackrabbitslim
Or whatever the hell that was in End of Days
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Death race isn't even out yet. Leave it the fuck alone.
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MOVIEOFTHEYEAR
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I loves me the first TRANSPORTER film. The second was okay but lacking the charm of the original. I don't suppose there's a chance Shu Qi could be back?
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Yes in this INSTALMEN of the trazzzporrterr, our man delivers a one trick pony to hollywood.
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"Eggggghhhh!!!"
The tagline for Death Race should be "It's the last week of the summer: it must be time for a shitty Jason Statham movie."
That being said, I fully plan on seeing it and letting it drop a deuce on my intelligence. -
What the hell is that thing on his right wrist? A webshooter?
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The second one was a big let down, despite the superior fight scenes, but I still can't wait.
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Now THAT is a fun exploitation flick. Rent that instead.
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co-starring Paul Simon.
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Oh wait ... chess games ... all that mindless drivel about ego and sublimation *shudder*. Jason, i understand that you feel you owed Guy Ritchie for the start of your career, and I respect that kind of loyalty, but that harpy Midge has her claws sunk into his nads and is pumping him full and reaming him dry with her Kabbalah-esque madness. Jason, I know with your follicly-challenged good looks you wanna be the guy producers call when they realize they cant quite punch in enough zeros to get Bruce Willis but, c'mon babe, you are pissing your career away.
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Draw your own conclusions.
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The Perfect Weapon.
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Oh, why the hell not. The dude's fate is sealed. Might as well go down with a smile on your face.
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more gay/female friendly shirtless fights, more plot elements knocked off better films, more hammy bad guys (Robert Knepper! Yay!)... it's about time Luc Besson embrace his inner Brett Ratner and stop posturing as a respectable filmmaker; a job he gave up ten years ago, if not fifteen. Way to go, Luc!
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Aug 20, 2008 3:44:16 PM CDT
When the hell does Jason Statham and Vin Diesel star in Universa
by mr slippy fist
I mean, come on Hollywood, when does this movie get made!?!?!?
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Aug 20, 2008 3:44:18 PM CDT
When the hell does Jason Statham and Vin Diesel star in Universa
by mr slippy fist
I mean, come on Hollywood, when does this movie get made!?!?!?
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I suck.
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Will be a great capper to the end of the summer.
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Statham. Diesel. UniSols. Amirite? I vote yes.
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to obscurity!
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Is at least Ian McShane worth my time of day in this? The grizzled old school prisoner looks like the role he was born to play.Why should this be a suprise..first Cruise/Wagner productions brought us the lame Eye remake, and now this...
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thing is, the guy can be quite a good actor when he has the slightest reason to be. Watch his performance in "The Bank Job"... its actually quite layered, nuanced work which is also subtle enough to allow his natural charisma to shine through. Even in the pretty silly "Revolver," he handles himself with way more dignity than just about anyone in a Star Wars Prequel. I don't know why he keeps getting involved with this kind of obvious crap, maybe it's just easier. But I for one am really holding out for the guy to emerge from the action quickies into a few more roles with substance. As an action hero, I think he's got more talent, charisma, and depth than the typical denizens of the B-movie quickie circuit.
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was the little movie that could.
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Did they make that? I like Statham! I wish he would do better movies! He's made an entire career out of starring in mediocre to ass-suck movies.
He should stick to projects like The Bank Job and Guy Ritchie fare. He was also fantastic in Collateral Damage. -
HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW
Classic. -
and yep, he's got enough talent to break into mainstream stardom, though I dig his entertainingly po-faced action flicks. Hopefully he'll move a little away from the kind of material he's been doing for the last decade before made-for-TV-hell embraces him and Vern writes STATHAMOLOGY...
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Aug 20, 2008 4:16:04 PM CDT
Just cast him in Inglorious Bastards instead of Simon Pegg
by stephenhawkingdiarrhea
Let him chew on some intentionally cheezy scenery.
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Um, why is it that the posters for the "Transporter" series always have Jason with a gun in his hand? He doesn't use guns in the set pieces, let alone one in each hand, John Woo-style. I got suckered in by the first poster and found that it was a pretty damned decent martial arts flick, but the second was just kinda brainless... Wonder what the third's going to be like.
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I found the first Transporter just insufferably boring. Someone needs to give this guy a break at doing something other than shit action movies, I quite liked him in LSATSB and Snatch.
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...did you see The Bank Job? Great little flick and he turns in a very nice job.
But yeah, almost everything else he's done has been shit. Kinda like Diesel, I'd like to see him in GOOD movies(LOLBABYLONADLOL) for a change. -
Or was that Crank 3?
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with highschool drop outs, thugs, welfare moms, Trailer Trash, and both Nascar and Raiders fans.
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Considerin' that you've taken at least enough time to drop trou on this Death Race venture, can you at least give some fuckin' insight on my...er, I mean Ian McShane's roll in this fuckin' moving picture show?
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And he'll shine in an action role. He was great in The Bank Job, he just needs the right script and director
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I love me some Statham!, i think he makes a great action hero and some pretty crazy action films like Crank and the Transporters. He can also make great films in general like The Bank Job and the Guy Ritchie films.
I think quite a few AICN posters like him as well as he only gets about 80% negative posts on here compared to most othes actors who get 99% negative posts!.
AICN the best place to be if you are a hater. -
WELCOME TO FUCKING DEADWOOD!
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The first film, while hitting all the same points, is so obviously a satire and not meant to be taken seriously. The fact that it's got the ridiculous title of "Death Race 2000" is proof enough. The movie is irrelevant now because this remake does not look like a satire or what the first film is, but rather, a typical action, Jason Statham film. I suppose it's not the remake's fault, but just the ongoing trend of action movies getting dumber and dumber as years go by. Having a racer named Frankenstein driving a car called The Monster, is kind of clever and scathing in the original, but now it just comes across as stupid. What was once social commentary is now mindless action.
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I enjoyed the hell out of both Transporter movies. There, I said it. Yes, they're preposterous.
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Lord Bowler just died :(
Sho Nuff is no more. And that fucking sucks. -
Sho Nuff from The Last Dragon died he was 56.
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for a minute, and I kept picturing him as one of those Head Master Transformers.
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If you're not dead after delivery, the anchovies are free.
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...steaming pile of dogshit. And no I didn't see the movie. You couldn't pay me to.
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Aug 20, 2008 5:12:02 PM CDT
I'd love to see Joan Allen as Mistress Whipbitch in a softcore S
by jackrabbitslim
Just puttin' it out there.
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also a film for worthless poseurs
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Was the Charger. And the asswipes wrecked it in favor of a bunch of queer ricers. The real laugh was any car being able to hold its own against that beast.
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Can they at least put a car or two on the poster instead of this Mission Impossible 2 rip-off. I'll see the flick regardless of the dumb poster.
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While totally missing the point of the source material? GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! YA DON'T SAY!
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Aug 20, 2008 5:46:41 PM CDT
I wonder how many people will stare at the poster...
by whinynegativebitch
...and think "3? What a strange name for a movie. Do you want to see 3?".
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Hated the second one, not interested in no. 3.
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Not just because he was boning Kelly Brook for many years, but because he's made the most of a limited talent. He doesn't do much, but does it well. He's like the mirror universe Hugh Grant.
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Still sharp...
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...the logo for a British cell phone company. Poster's nice though.
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The most homoerotic action film ever made, bar none. Seriously, Statham fights his way out of his shirt and then wrestles a guy in crude oil. It's like Chippendales: The Movie.
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I've seen him in a bunch of stuff over the years.
Get the obit up. Now. -
Do we really need another Transporter movie? The first movie was better than it had any right to be, but that's what made it an incredibly enjoyable flick. Sure, the ending felt rushed and anticlimactic, but Statham has sort of this dry, smirky charisma about him that makes him infinitely likeable, there was some impressive Jackie Chan-esque martial arts choreography, and it had the token hot Asian chick. They should have left it at that. But, no, they had to push for a sequel that was every bit as limp as it was idiotic, even more ridiculous in "plot" (and you have to use that term VERY loosely here) than the original, but without the same verve that made the first movie so damn fun. I just can't imagine they'll be able to redeem themselves. Then again, some people probably loved the second one. The same people who actually paid money to go see the sequel to XXX and The Fast and the Furious. Dumbasses.
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The Transporter movies suck dick so bad. I honestly don't understand how anyone even watches this shit.
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Aug 20, 2008 6:45:06 PM CDT
Wait a minute. Wasn't Crank the most unapologetically dumb, deli
by ev1ldead
dopey movie ever made? Or was it Transporter 1. Or Transporter 2? If WS Anderson wasn't involved this not-review would get my hopes high cause people with no humor could say the same about the original Death Race 2000.
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and there are few revelatory performances to be expected from that. Death Race seemed pretty fun from the trailers but casting Joan Allen as the antagonist threw me way off. I don't think I'll ever be able to shake the Face Off imagery I have of her as the prudish do-gooder wife.
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Who are you trying to impress?
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AND MAKE SURE ITS A VULCAN.
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You were fucking bad ass in Ronin man...
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Can't wait for that one.
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the three buttons on his jacket are lined up just above the number 3 is oh so very French in it's thematic symmetry. But dig that url for the movie: letransporter3-lefilm.com Not exactly the hight of elegance is it? Even for a movie like this.
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didn't he also have a very small role in Collateral?
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AND the orignal version. On the downside, it's produced by Tom Cruise... Ergo, I don't want my box office bucks going to him. As for the Transporter, the original is high on my list of the worst movies I've ever seen. Didn't bother with 2, ain't wasting my time with 3 either!
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I hated how they used the cars from Gran Tourismo in that movie. You know, crashing through whatever with nary a scratch to show for it. Took me out of the gritty realism, the "cinema verite" that series strives so hard for.
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hey nerds, jason statham was not in Collateral Damage!!!
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As long as it's a hard-R. Transporter 2 was a little too soft and bloodless. Really though, I think Statham could be a truly great action star if he were given some action flicks with more substance. Something more like First Blood and less like Rambo III. Crank and Transporter are all flash, and Death Race is just stupid.
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Collateral, the Michael Mann directed Jamie Foxx/Tom Cruise hitman flick. Not Collateral Damage, the forgettable Schwarzenegger flick. Statham plays Tom Cruise's contact who gives him his assignments in Collateral. Some people have suggested that it's his character from The Transporter, but I think that's stupid. The Transporter is a cartoon. It'd be like giving Daffy Duck a cameo in a Herzog film.
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One could only hope. A Herzog cartoon would be fucking awesome.
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...is that it completely jetisons the whole entire hook from the first movie. The original wasn't about racing, it was about RUNNING OVER PEDESTRIANS FOR POINTS. The remake completely cuts the nuts out of the whole concept. All the trangression is gone. They don't even have the guts to make the protagonist really be a bad guy. He's "wrongly convicted," of course. How fucking castrated can you get? They eliminated any hint of subversion and social satire and just turned it into WWE skit. First ROLLERBALL, now this. What are they doing to all the great, classic exploitation flicks of my childhood? What's next? Are they going to do SOYLENT GREEN starring the Rock, but without the whole cannibalism thing? Roger Corman had more talent and more balls on his worst day than hacks like Anderson will ever have their lives.
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lately, uh I don't think he's even reading the scripts anymore To quote Kirk Lazarus "The script reads me." To go further into "TT" territory he's becoming Tugg Speedman. Scorcher 5 well only two more Transporters and he's wins a set of steak knives. Don't go down this road Jay. Get in your agent's ass for some better work.
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Even though I know you are supposed to check your brain at the door when you watch films like these, but Transporter 2 was so unbelievable, I couldn't stop my eyes from rolling several times and saying give me a big fat break! I mean, c'mon, that fight in the plane and it crashing, and he lives?! Yeah right! Dumb dumb dumb. Transporter 3 should amp it up, but keep things at least semi plausible on some level!!
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Jeez...
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...There is a severe lack of decent fight scenes in recent years. Now believe it or not, I'm not sure whether Statham is a legit martial artist. He is however an accomplished swimmer, from what I understand.
Now, I really hope we don't have to sit through a Michael Phelps action film, but, uh, hey...Phelps gotta eat after all the endorsements run out.
Oh yeah any way, Transporter 3, yeah, I'll begrudgingly fork over cash to see it. I love me some explosions and English dude whooping ass. Actually, I hope the real star of these films, Corey Yuan comes back to choreograph the fight scenes. Check out King Of the Kickboxers and you'll see why...
Oh and the 3 on the poster, reminds me of the Lethal Weapon 3 logo.
More useless knowledge, the Gracie's were the fight tech's on the original Lethal Weapon. That and someone told Gary Busey that Mel Gibson had a gram of coke in his trousers. That's all it takes and Busey SNAPS!
www.myspace.com/jerryhorror
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Saw the trailer for that Transporter 3 turd the other day. It looks as promising as previous efforts by the Besson gang : brainless. And we can expect it will be as racist and sexist as his films usually are.
Ten years from now, it will probably be seen as cool Euro-trash stuff for braindead teenagers around the world (like mister Horror says above : "I love me some explosions and English dude whooping ass". Gee...), and geeks may even believe there is some coolness in it. Wrong. That said, Besson and Statham are a well associated pair : a cynical French slob and a dumb English hooligan. The worst of both worlds really. I miss Hammer films and Italian exploitation. When Euro exploitation was indeed cool. I miss their sexiness and kinky scares. Could we have a bit of those sometimes and leave the testosterone ass-whooping for little boys to masturbation video games? -
Blows SH!T UP! Also, to kick your ass I need to take my shirt off first... YAY! Is that gay? Maybe, but hey, if my nipples don't get you, my fists will. Oh ya, watch out for that perved-freak from Prison Break too, he is in this stankness as well. Don't be afraid of his badness, he has none, be afraid he may crack out that SH!T Russian access he pulled out for that Hitman film he stank up.
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I think he is a better actor than he actually believes himself.just watch The Bank Job. This is why he keeps choosing to star in shit, although i did like the first Transporter film.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mL3K_ITu7Qw
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I will watch him in anything, no matter how dire. I loved both Transporter films for being as howlingly retarded as they were. Amazing, slick cinema cheese.
Statham is actually a decent actor and one of the few western actors today who looks like he could actually kick just about anyone's ass. The Bank Job was great. Statham's punishment of the bad guys in that one was one of the most vicariously satisfying beatdowns I've seen in ages.
You want an appallingly bad movie? Watch Shoot 'Em Up. That movie was smugly pretending to be as retarded as Crank and The Transporter and I find that truly offensive. -
Go le Franc!
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Aug 21, 2008 8:19:32 AM CDT
Jeff Speakman - The Jewish Action Star in "Stop with the Kicking
by sequitur
Kevin Pollack used to be funny...lol
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... wtf did you expect?
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But Transporter 2 was an unrepentant, inhumane piece of shit. This one will probably be Le Shit too.
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Running Man is great, how you could think otherwise is ridiculous. Transporter 2 was even too dumb for me. I don't think that's possible either.
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Aug 21, 2008 9:32:28 PM CDT
While I hated the Transporter I otherwise agree with DocPazuzu.
by paul t. ryan
I love Statham no matter what he's in. I also though Shoot Em' Up was utter garbage. Puerile, sleazy, insultingly smug garbage.
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Scene in transporter 1 trailer that wasn't in the actual movie :(
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