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Wanna win a really cool Anakin Vs. Obi-Wan Sideshow diorama? Check out the contest here!

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. This contest is dedicated to Tallboy66 who makes sure to alert me and everyone else every time I utter one negative word about the Star Wars Prequels. Sideshow has offered a really cool diorama, retailing for nearly $300, for a contest here on AICN. Check it out:

Even from someone who has… issues… with the prequels, that’s really damn nice work. Yes, I know… I hated that Darth Vader was beaten in this duel that has been built up in my brain since almost before I can remember because Obi Wan was on an embankment and had “the high ground” which is apparently stronger than the Dark Side of the force. That was lame… but, this piece by Sideshow is not. So I figured for the contest I’d ask you guys to write me a better final duel between Anakin and Obi-Wan in standard screenplay format. The rules are only that it has to take place on a Volcano Planet (like Lucas first mentioned way back after the original came out) and the rest is up to you. Anakin and Obi-Wan need to be the focal point, but obviously involving Padme isn’t a bad idea. If you'd like to include a brief rundown (like a treatment) of the events leading up to the duel and what occurs after, you may do so, but the main focus should be on the scripted duel between Anakin and Obi-Wan. I want a PDF sent, in script format, that is at least 10 pages long, but no more than 25 pages, your name and non-PO Box mailing address. You can email those to beginning from now until 11:59pm CST Monday, September 1st. Take your time, prove that you can write the scene better than Mr. Lucas did. I’ll be judging on most imaginative execution of two master Jedi fighting to the death with a strong eye towards real character dialogue and descriptive elements. I want something fun and something kickass, something that lives up to my childhood dreams of this confrontation. I want to feel the gravity of this moment. If you’re up to it, give it a shot. The finalists will be posted here, along with the winner. Most people around the world are eligible to win. Here are Sideshow’s terms and conditions:
Delivery for the contest winner: **The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after announcement of win to receive the product from Sideshow Collectibles. All prizes are non-transferable, with no cash redemptions and/or substitutions except at Sponsor's sole discretion. See below for more International Shipping Terms. To get the latest news from Sideshow Collectibles, join our Newsletter! Delivery time & Restrictions: All continental US orders are shipped via either UPS or FedEx ground service. Because FedEx cannot provide tracking numbers for P.O. Boxes, Sideshow Collectibles will not ship to a P.O. Box. Please provide your street address or your shipment will be delayed. For FedEx Ground deliveries, please allow up to 6 business days for delivery from the date your order is shipped. International Shipping Restrictions: At this time Sideshow Collectibles is unable to make shipments to Venezuela or Nigeria. Please Click Here for further international shipping information and restrictions. All taxes are the responsibility of the winner. All prizes are non-transferable, with no cash redemption and/or substitutions except at Sponsor's sole discretion. All international winners will be responsible for any duties, tariffs, taxes or import fees assessed to their prize. Further, some countries outside of the U.S. do not have reliable mail services. In the event that a prize has been stolen or mishandled during shipment to an international destination, Sideshow may not be able to replace the specific item and will substitute a prize at its own discretion. If the winner prefers a specific quicker shipping method, they are responsible to notify Sideshow immediately, and will also be responsible to cover the additional costs if any. At this time, we do not accept credit cards from Mexico. Refer to our Help Desk for alternative payment options.
If you don’t know what a screenplay looks like, here’s a link to a place where you can download a few of ‘em and here’s another cool site to read some scripts. If you want a rundown on standard screenplay formatting, check out this page for all that info! If you have any questions, feel free to ask in the talkback below and I'll answer as soon as I can. Good luck! And may the Force be with you! -Quint

Readers Talkback
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  • Aug. 18, 2008, 5:19 a.m. CST

    Electric swords

    by mothandrust

    are really cool. The way they light up and make gggshh gsh sounds.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 5:22 a.m. CST


    by kwisatzhaderach

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 5:23 a.m. CST

    Does it have cool noises and lights up?

    by mrfan

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 5:25 a.m. CST

    outwrite Lucas

    by redfist

    ok here goes....dfjslkfjdldjsalfjdljdsa; it.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 5:28 a.m. CST

    Too soon!

    by Boba Fat


  • Aug. 18, 2008, 5:33 a.m. CST

    Anyway Quint...

    by Boba Fat

    wasn't Anakin's dark side powers equaled or weaker than Obi Wan's powers and so, the higher ground was an advantage? <P> Can't believe I just defended one of the prequels!

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 5:35 a.m. CST

    blow job

    by Mr_X

    stay on target, stay on target

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 5:36 a.m. CST

    Valid points

    by Quint

    But did any one of you guys think that Obi-Wan defeating Anakin would play out like that? Can anybody honestly say that scene was just as good or better than they imagined it? That's what I'm getting at.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 5:37 a.m. CST

    Kneejerk reaction about SW aside,

    by SpencerTrilby

    aren't "toys" like this giving nerds a bad name? Useless, godawfully expensive stuff one has to hide in a cupboard when the in-laws come for Christmas? <p> But writing another final duel is actually a pretty good idea, Quint. Good luck for picking up a winner.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 5:39 a.m. CST

    actually i thought the fight was rather good

    by Mr_X

    the saving grace of the prequels, cant undertsnad why obi-wan didnt finished the job and left him hanging around though. if you're gonna get rid vade do it properly. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 5:42 a.m. CST

    I did think it was going to be on the edge...

    by Boba Fat

    ...of a volcano, as mentioned back in 1977 and didn't imagine they would be on Super Mario blocks at one stage but I enjoyed the whole rig collapsing bit, going over the lavafall and Anakin on fire. It gets a pass from me but wasn't it storyboarded by Spielberg anyway?

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 5:53 a.m. CST

    How about a rewrite of the "NOOoooooo...!" scene instead?

    by Prof. Pop-Cult

    At least 10 pages of script to try to win this paperweight? You're serious, Quint? Good lord -- that's a lot of pages... about 10 to 11 minutes worth of story. That's the equivalent of an episode of one of those 11-minute shows on Adult Swim! How about one of us just plagiarizes the abridged ROTS script from and call it a day?

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 5:57 a.m. CST

    Final Duel

    by jackalcack

    I thought their fight was one of the most disappointing moments in all of the prequels. As much as I hated the acting/story/tone/look (the usual complaints) of all of them, they did deliver some pretty good lightsabre battles. I love the duel in The Phantom Menace, Yoda and Dooku, Yoda and Sidious. However the Anakin/Obi Wan lava planet fight bored the shit out of me. I don't know why, it just seemed to be lacking. Maybe it just needed a really great 'duel of the fates' level score over the top or something. Or maybe it's because I didn't give two fucks about the characters. Quint's idea of re-writing the scene better than Lucas is fantastic, looking forward to reading the winning scripts. The ironry of course is that if anyone actually wants to win the statue then presumably they don't think the scene needs re-writing.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 6 a.m. CST

    Knew the Berg was in there somewhere...

    by Boba Fat

    My first memory of hearing that Obi Wan defeated Vader an he fell into a volcano was in the Marvel comics adaptation or one of the stories after and yeah stuff like that and the clone wars did fire my imagination. The clone wars, or lack of them in the prequels, was a bigger let down for me.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 6:11 a.m. CST

    Can I

    by Die_Hardest

    Rewrite the whole prequel trilogy?

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 6:12 a.m. CST

    The Duel

    by SamuelLappDance

    Lived up to expectations for me because of the emotions involved. I thought Ewan McGregor was great in the whole sequence. "I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you." "You were the Chosen One!" And all of his lines after that as Anakin is burning. As a "Star Wars" fan from '77 on, that whole sequence just shattered me. All of "Revenge of the Sith" did it for me. It truly was the "Star Wars" film I had waited since 1983 for. That said, I won't be buying the paperweight. I only spend the big bucks on Hoth and Millennium Falcon collectibles.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 6:24 a.m. CST

    Quint, I can honestly say...

    by irishraidersfan

    ... that the scene was as good or better than I imagined. Anakin literally burning before our eyes, the Sith hatred as he lies there, willing Obi-wan to die? Obi-wan's sincere sadness? Yes, it certainly worked for me, when so much of the prequel trilogu could have been better. How about you ask us to re-write *any* scene from the prequels, and the best one wins? Cause as it stands, you're knocking one of the few I think most people would leave alone!

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 6:28 a.m. CST


    by Die_Hardest

    I did like The Duel, and Revenge of the Sith in particular. If I were going to change the prequels I would start with Episode 1. Scrap the trade federation. Make the Mandalorians the bad guys, duped into invading The Republic by the Sith. Make Anakin an escaped slave leading a guerrilla resistance movement on Tattooine when Obi Wan finds him. I'd have Anakin as younger than Luke was in Star Wars, but still older than Jake Lloyd. Let's say, 15-18 years old. Scrap Jar Jar, scrap the gungans, scrap the political stuff. Make the future dirty again. Episode 1 would be Anakin's discovery, an introduction to all the major characters and locations, the climax being Anakin and Obi Wan vs the vanguard of the Mandalorian fleet. I'd have the Mandalorians using massive cloning facilities given to them by The Sith. Episode 2 would be the bulk of the clone wars. Anakin increasingly making morally ambiguous decisions to the chagrin of the Jedi Council, climaxing with Anakin using The Force to destroy an entire fleet of enemy ships or something, of course we'd get the love story part too, but i'd make it more like Han Solo and Leia in Empire than like Anakin and Padme in Clones. Episode 3 would be Anakin's complete fall to the Dark Side. Oh well I've rambled for sufficiently long enough. Every single one of my prequels would have at least 1 fight against a monster, 1 massive space battle, maybe a land battle, and at least 1 lightsaber duel. Obviously I would put about 10 lightsaber duels in Episode III. Maybe I will enter this contest.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 6:28 a.m. CST

    I was going to sell my SW trilogies...

    by pencil-man

    ...what do you think kids, does pappa sound jaded?

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 6:29 a.m. CST

    Yeah let us rewrite any scene!

    by Die_Hardest

    I'd definitely rewrite Anakin and Obi-Wan's first meeting.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 7:18 a.m. CST

    I guess the rest of AICN are supporting Moriarty's star wars emb

    by hiperaktiv

    I guess the rest of AICN are supporting Moriarty's star wars embargo by posting a star wars competition days after he swore to personally not talk about the film series on the site ever again...

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 7:25 a.m. CST

    Getting my geek on but...

    by Reverend Toast

    according to Yoda in Empire, the dark side isn't stronger, just quicker... easier.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 7:32 a.m. CST

    "From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!"

    by badboymason

    Worst. Line. Ever. Completely pulls me out of the picture every time - he's in the middle of this emotional duel and he responds like he's in some intellectual debate.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 7:35 a.m. CST

    "From my point of view the Jedi are evil"

    by Cannabis Holocaust

    LMFAO Yeah it should be REALLY difficult to improve the dialogue...

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 7:38 a.m. CST


    by Cannabis Holocaust

    I guess everyone really does hate that line. I was in the middle of watching the scene on youtube before I posted the quote.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 7:45 a.m. CST

    's deep.

    by Rommel Catuncan

    Oh wow, yeah George, I get it! Obi-Wan had the "high ground" morally or something. It's, like, a play on words. Clever! And you gotta throw in a "my point of view" line in there 'cause it like, ties in with that other movie. Yeah.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 7:45 a.m. CST


    by Boba Fat

    Jesus here, didn't I tell you the Geeks would inherit the earth? All that meek stuff was a typo.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 7:46 a.m. CST

    my script wouldn't win so here's the short form of it

    by palewook

    George Lucas has a fanboy bent over a table, when Jarjar walks in holding a Zed keyring.. :Lucas slams the door shut:

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 7:47 a.m. CST

    by Rommel Catuncan

    Geeks better watch their backs.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 8:13 a.m. CST


    by BackwardGalaxy

    Is it interesting to anyone else that this particular diorama depicts both duelists in a completely vulnerable and poor strategic position?

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 8:13 a.m. CST

    by aboriginal

    Someday I see even this stuff showing up there. I was a crazy collector once ( thank goodness it wasn't the Star Wars black hole of money pits), but you snap out of it one day and say to yourself "WTF am I doing?" - at least those are the lucky ones. Its time for an intervention as this shite is as bad as drugs for too many fanboys.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 8:41 a.m. CST

    fuck nnnooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    by alice 13

    i win.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 8:56 a.m. CST

    Why does Obi-Wan leave Anakin alive?

    by Harry Weinstein

    So he can slowly roast to death? I never understood the motivations here, other than the obvious story-related reasons. Killing Anakin/Vader seems the comparatively humane thing to do for all concerned parties... Obi-Wan, Anakin, and the whole galaxy. But Obi-Wan leaves him alive to slowly die a torturous death, much to the eventual chagrin of the people of Alderaan.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 9:05 a.m. CST


    by Jim Jam Bongs

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 9:07 a.m. CST

    I'd rather write my own original film short...

    by Jim Jam Bongs

    Sorry. But I think the Professor is right: 10 pages of screenplay format script is an awful lot to ask. You'd get more entries if you requested a treatment instead.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 9:20 a.m. CST

    Obiwan: Yo bitch, I got da higher ground, muthafucker

    by theycallmemrglass

    ANAKIN: I hate you, dude. You gonna fry, you creep. I'm all powerful, man. You cant beat me, dude. You'll see._______________ Obi Wan: Come on then bitch, show me your all powerful move, fucker, COOME ON! I DARE you mutherfucker._____________________ Anakin: Alright then, you ask for it master. (Leaps) Yippee!!!...Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggggghhhh, (sobs) Ah man, I hate you. I hate you. Fuck you.____________________ Obi Wan: Oooh, I'm sorry, did that hurt, mutherfucker? That lava biting your sorry ass? At least your legs cant hurt since it aint attached to your fucking ass no more. Man, go fuck yourself. Anakin: (sobs some more) I hate you, dude. I fucking hate you.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 9:29 a.m. CST

    "wait a minute, how did this happen, we're smarter than this"

    by Seth Brundle

    i cringed when i heard that on the cinema the first time, it almost felt like comedy

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 9:32 a.m. CST

    mrglass lol but needs more

    by Rommel Catuncan

    worker droids buzzing around. And maybe a "But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' reeaaaal hard to be a shepherd" from Obi-Wan, who then turns and walks away (that's why he doesn't kill Anakin.) Wa-hey!

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 9:37 a.m. CST

    I aint gonna write shit, cos end fight lived up to my expectatio

    by theycallmemrglass

    And quite rightly, Yoda and Sidious had more gravitas because they were the fucking heavies, the masters. Obi Wan and Anakin were just young jedis. Another reason why I aint gonna write shit, is cos I cant fucking write shit. I aint a fucking scriptwriter. But I enjoyed writing that little send up in my last post. Having said that, I hope Quint posts the winning entries cos I kinda like to read what the fans were hoping for. But me, I'm content with what Lucas gave us, and there are simply no other films that have anywhere near the amount of "fuck, yeah" moments as the SW prequels and Originals, regardless of both their flaws. And to me, that is all that fucking matters.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 9:44 a.m. CST

    Winning Script Idea Free!

    by Kiera Knightley's Sexy Beanpole

    Obi-Wan, beaten down by the furious dark side Force powers of Anakin Skywalker is suddenly aided by CGI monkeys who throw Anakin into a volcano...

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 9:51 a.m. CST

    by Rommel Catuncan

    Was it Harry or someone somewhere else who said that if he could write 'Return of the Jedi', in the end, he would make Luke raise his hand, summon the Force and thereby make the Death Star explode?! This was a few years ago but I still have that image of Luke simply raising his hand and making planets explode.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 10:03 a.m. CST

    I would put mine in the bathroom

    by smackfu

    Someplace visible from the throne. So it can motivate me to pinch out something just as inspired.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 10:12 a.m. CST

    Brains, would make sense, man.

    by theycallmemrglass

    After all, Yoda always said size matters not. That would be a fucking awesome ending for a new Lucas special edition. But I think Lucas would shy away from such drastic changes and instead revert to a more subtle one where Wicket stows away on Luke's ship towards the death star. While Luke fights Vader, the little Ewok fights Sidious, and in an awesome mid air sideways move, pulls out his sling and shoots an Endor pebble at Sidious forehead, whereupon Sidious loses his balance and accidentally zaps Vader with his lightening thing. Vaders turns on Sidious, "what da fuck, man, I'm on your side. You trying to make me lose to this dude, my son? Fuck you, man. You're deep fry".

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 10:16 a.m. CST

    Sideshow's best diorama was Luke vs Vader

    by theycallmemrglass

    No, I never owned one (I wished I bought it) but it looked awesome compared to Anakin/Obiwan.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 10:16 a.m. CST

    I might take a shot at this

    by vadakinX

    I'll pobably combine Revenge of the Sith as it is with my own ideas.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 10:20 a.m. CST

    In that pose Anakin looks like..

    by Rameses

    he got a grant from the *ministry of funny walks* Wonderfully sculpted but slightly comical for some reason.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 10:21 a.m. CST

    my only conern

    by Bloo

    is that fight scenes are easier to storyboard/choregraph in person then on the page, at least that's been my experience

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 10:21 a.m. CST

    higher ground is perfect

    by mr. whoa

    for receiving a blow job or giving a haircut.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 10:23 a.m. CST

    Free Star Wars Crazy Hair Candy

    by Rommel Catuncan

    If you include Ziro the Hutt.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 10:26 a.m. CST

    Death Star II -- as a Sith weapon...

    by Prof. Pop-Cult

    You know, way back when, I came up with a rewrite idea for ROTJ where it turns out that the Death Star 2 is actually a Sith weapon which amplifies the power of the Emperor. This would work with the idea of Luke using the force to destroy it. Two more rewrite ideas for ROTJ I had devised:<p><p>At the Sarlac Pit fight, R2 summons the Millennium Falcon and controls it remotely. But the droid gets shot, which causes the Falcon to swerve around the pit, firing its turret lasers haphazardly, which adds to the chaos erupting all around (i.e. Luke sabering Jabba's goons, Han saving Lando, Leia choking Jabba, etc.). Luke uses the Force to gain control of the Falcon and maybe he rams it into Jabba's sailbarge. The final shot is Luke and his pals taking off in the skiff, with the remotely controlled Falcon following behind, and Jabba's sailbarge exploding in the background and collapsing into the Sarlac pit.<p><p>Second rewrite: Boba is shown blasting his way out of the Sarlac pit. He suddenly shows up on Endor, where he and Han have a final showdown, one-on-one -- a good ol' cowboy shoot-out among the trees.<p><p>The Ewoks and Leia being Luke's sister can stay in the script.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 10:32 a.m. CST

    Lead Up To Battle

    by StephenHawkingDiarrhea

    Quint, I find myself 7 pages into my attempt and the SWORDFIGHT is just beginning. What leads up is absolutely necessary to what this battle means and I am changing that as well. It won't work if it isn't in screenplay format. I will still keep it under 25 pages, but will it count against me if the lead up is part of the screenplay format?

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 10:32 a.m. CST

    Prof. Pop-Cult

    by Rommel Catuncan

    I like it esp. the Han/Boba shootout.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 10:41 a.m. CST

    "Only a Sith deals in absolutes!"


  • Aug. 18, 2008, 10:49 a.m. CST

    "General Grievous... you're shorter than I expected."


    He is seven foot tall!

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 10:52 a.m. CST

    I accept your challenge, Quint!


  • Aug. 18, 2008, 10:57 a.m. CST

    by Rommel Catuncan

    "It's as if Jabba and I grew up in the same house. And one day he stood up and went out the back door, while I went out the front."

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 10:59 a.m. CST

    300 dollar star wars paperweight?

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Or ten pages of work?

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 11:16 a.m. CST


    by brandon25

    I thought Lucas did an absolutely amazing job with the final duel, but this sounds like fun. I'll give it a shot.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 11:22 a.m. CST

    Only a single man would buy this

    by Klytus_I.m_Bored

    As no woman would allow him to drop three hundred bucks on a tacky piece of shit like this. And we should all be glad that women are wired that way.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 11:26 a.m. CST

    aboriginal is right

    by IAmLegolas

    I got into figured/statue collecting back in 1997 when all the re-release Star Wars toys hit the shelves. Used to haunt Target and Toys R Us action figure sections in my spare time, waiting for stores to open on a Saturday morning. Eventually you get into credit card debt and running out of space in your 2-bedroom apartment when you realize there isn't an end to the amount of characters being made. I finally "woke up" around 2003 and sold most of it on eBay and made some pretty good coin, especially with those early LOTR statues that netted about 300% of what I paid for them. The fact is, unless you have an insane amount of fuck you money and live in a mansion somewhere and can donate a room or two to properly displaying all this shit, it's a waste of time & money. You'll also realize it doesn't do anything, but sit there and collect dust, something for your friends to come over and point at once and say "huh huhuh... that's cool". And, more times than not, it also repels the opposite sex (or the same sex if you are into that), ha.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 11:31 a.m. CST

    forgot to add...

    by IAmLegolas

    ... the exact turning point for me was when my wife pointed at a LOTR board game I bought and then stored away for a few months : "None of this stuff will ever be better than the experience of watching the movie." Think about it.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 11:34 a.m. CST

    by Rommel Catuncan

    I once bought an action figure of Captain Antilles because I met the actor at a play. I thought it would blow my mind, but yeah, it was just a piece of plastic and I smoke a lot less pot these days.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 11:36 a.m. CST

    If I say 'no' will you cry?

    by ArcadianDS

    Id rather have a diorama of Lucas taking a huge dump.<p> oh wait, that's called Clone Wars.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 11:39 a.m. CST


    by NoahTall

    Give up folks, nobody is going to get this prize. Just like any other contest that Quint runs which requires doing more than pulling a name out of a hat. This prize will never go to some lucky winner. Hey Quint, I bet this will look good on the shelf next to that autographed Heartbreak kid poster.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 11:44 a.m. CST


    by CarmillaVonDoom

    This contest.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 11:48 a.m. CST

    No way that's worth $300!

    by Bob Cryptonight

    Nice racket, I guess, if kooks will buy it though.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 12:30 p.m. CST


    by STLost

    Your basic plot outline of the prequels is kinda similar to what I was thinking. You have to simplify it down and deal with the characters, and run the political stuff in the background. And Clone War action definitely has to be a major plotline between Eps 2-3. <p> I always thought of the Clone Wars as the two sides (whomever they may be) both having cloning technology where we see massive lives lost on either side. You lose any emotional impact when the only thing dying are droids. Though I would keep Gen. Grievous. Maybe introduce in 2 as a jedi killer during the wars, a few confrontations with Kenobi, and dispatched in Ep 3.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 12:36 p.m. CST

    Uh if you guys dont want your statues

    by theycallmemrglass

    sell em. I've bought a couple of SW statues with other classic movie statues (favourites are Sideshow's Gandalf and Mogul, real showstopper). Statues and posters are also cool to buy for room decor purposes, no reason to regret purchasing them. If friends come round to your house and said "Whoaa, cool" then your investment paid off already! And if it deters the girls, maybe you are probably not displaying them in a pleasing to the eye way or the statues are too clustered and they need to be balanced out with other movie deco. But hey, if you dont like them no more than sell them. Or give them to me!

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 12:57 p.m. CST


    by Damage_Inc

    Can you give us any info about making PDF files? Do you know of any websites we can read or specific software we can use? Is there any software that is better than others? Do you know if the Adobe site tells us how to do this? Any info you can give us will be appreciated.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 1:03 p.m. CST

    Ending was perfect

    by Falcon5768

    It wasnt a question of dark and light, the two cancel each other out. Obi-Wan HAD the high ground, he had the technical advantage and NOTHING Anikans powers could do could change the fact. The battle was never a question of force power, it was a question of keeping your head and not giving in to your anger in such a way as to forget your training.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 1:04 p.m. CST

    Cool contest. But I liked the movie version

    by Cotton McKnight

    I will be anxious to read the alternatives, but I certainly wasn't dissapointed in the way Darth Vader got beat (those retarded robots floating on lava and the fact that they barely said anything to each other? Not so much). It was an interesting parallel- Anakin was so arrogant, he thought that he could overcome any disadvantage. Yoda was in the exact same spot- The Emperor was above, Yoda was below. Anakin chose poorly, Yoda did not.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 1:10 p.m. CST

    This is the only contest in the world where when you win you act

    by Dick Bahls

    Please, whoever wins this, please post a picture of it sitting in your living room in a glass case, so the rest of us can laugh histerically!

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 1:10 p.m. CST

    Supposed to say "actually lose"

    by Dick Bahls

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 1:12 p.m. CST

    Prof. Pop-cult

    by Cotton McKnight

    First idea was cool. That one about the millenium falcon though reminded me of Tom Smykowski's "Jump to Conclusions" mat in office space. <p>That's the worst idea I have ever heard in my life, Tom. Yes, this is horrible, this idea.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 1:12 p.m. CST

    In my ending...

    by zacdilone was Earth all along.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 1:12 p.m. CST


    by LaserPants


  • Aug. 18, 2008, 1:15 p.m. CST

    My entry is in....

    by StephenHawkingDiarrhea

    12 pages, 7 of which are actual battle. I had to do a lead in because it specifically relates to my new end of the fight. I hope these get posted when the contest is over.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 1:16 p.m. CST

    I thought the way Anakin lost made sense

    by Tycho Magnetic Anomoly

    I figured the idea about the whole high ground thing wasn't just a shitty plot device to end the duel or anything involving subtext about Obi Wan having taught Anakin his moves but just the symbolism that both the reason he lost the duel and the reason he falls to the dark side in general is arrogance. Arrogance in thinking that he can ally himself with the Emperor & then defeat Palpatine & take over the galaxy & rule with Padme, & arrogance that let him be tricked by Palpatine into thinking he could save Padme's life, when she would've lived if he hadn't believed he could align with the Dark Side of the force to stop it without becoming evil himself in the first place. The whole dying of a broken heart thing was kinda lame I guess but it was necessary & could've been written, filmed, & acted out better. The whole duality thing in Batman could've been generic and super cheesey too esp the Joker trickster/shadow archetype thing, but they knew how to take awesome ideas that have become cliche and cheesey over the years and restore them to kick ass status imho. The prequels also could have.. And yes the Clone Wars should've started in Ep 1 and should have had Clones on both sides. & the prequels should've been a small cast of characters in the context of the fascism message, with the feel of the asteroid chase in ESB & ANH, not this Expanded Universe feel they wound up having.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 1:17 p.m. CST

    I'm waiting for the next contest.

    by Dick Bahls

    I'm waiting for the next one - hopefully you can win one of those great busts of some expanded universe characters that noone know or gives a shit about. Then I can put it in my living room and be cool. All the other people who thought I was uncool before will now know they were wrong, and I'll probably get a date or two in the next couple of months. Oh, excse me a second - Hey Ma! I'm done here in the basement! what's for dinner???

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 1:28 p.m. CST

    Damage_Inc, your pdf question

    by theycallmemrglass

    There are several free pdf creators available. Most people seem to recommend using this one called PDF Redirect which is more than sufficient to do the job Quint requires._____ _____ So give this a try. I use Adobe creator at work but that's commercial software, costs a lot of money but does much more than what is required here.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 1:32 p.m. CST


    by Damage_Inc

    Thanks very much. I'll check that out.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 1:36 p.m. CST

    Prequel failure all about lost potential

    by JumpinJehosaphat

    Have you seen the Soul Caliber 4 trailer w/ Darth Vader? Vader knocks out his opponent, force-lifts his KO'd ass into the air and pulls the poor bastard onto his lightsaber. He then simply throws the corpse off to the side. In one 5 second clip, a video game with nothing to do with Star Wars, save for a few licenses, captures so much more of what Vader/Anakin was capable of in terms of evil and had more impact than all the duels in the prequels combined. Sad, really.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 1:39 p.m. CST

    by Parallaxmjm

    Obi-Wan left him alive only because killing an unarmed opponent (insert joke here) was not the Jedi way, and if Anakin was to die, it was supposed to be the will of the Force. He probably thought Anakin was going to die, and if not for Palpatine's arrival, he would have.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 1:40 p.m. CST


    by Parallaxmjm

    Sorry about forgetting that subject there.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 1:50 p.m. CST

    RE: Lead up to the Battle

    by brandon25

    Lead Up To Battle by StephenHawkingDiarrhea Aug 18th, 2008 10:32:33 AM Quint, I find myself 7 pages into my attempt and the SWORDFIGHT is just beginning. What leads up is absolutely necessary to what this battle means and I am changing that as well. It won't work if it isn't in screenplay format. I will still keep it under 25 pages, but will it count against me if the lead up is part of the screenplay format? ------ I have the exact same question. Quint!

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 2:08 p.m. CST

    They should simply

    by Abominable Snowcone

    mail it off to one TBer, have that person take pictures of it in his home, or in a funny situation, then that person mails it off to the next TBer, etc. They do this in hockey with the stanley cup.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 2:20 p.m. CST

    Why does Anakin...

    by Banzai Rootskibango

    ...look like he's about to suck Obi-Wan off? Oh that's right, because Obi-Wan owns his ass.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 2:22 p.m. CST

    Its literally a lot easier to CRAP all over a painting...

    by whooooooop

    than to create a painting...and that goes for every thing else in this world.... i hope somebody CAN out-write the end of EP3 (it may be hard to get others to agree because we all have our own personal ideas about it..) I liked what Tycho Magnetic Anomoly Said "the High Ground" was symbolism that both the reason he lost the duel and the reason he falls to the dark side in general is arrogance..he had given in to his fear and even killed innocent children in the name of greater security...thats when he really fell....

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 2:26 p.m. CST

    So Symbolically Anakin had the low ground

    by whooooooop

    in a physical and also spirtual way... I thought it worked on many levels... but not as many levels as RATATOUILLE worked on...that movie was working on like 3 or 4 levels through out the entire movie...i have no idea how they did far as movie making/scripting/depth and levels...ratatouille was brillaint...but you can't go sticking REMY on Most-a-Far.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 2:27 p.m. CST

    "What's a diorama?"

    by DarthCorleone

    Surprised I'm the first one to say it. A Star Wars diorama demands referencing the Ralph Wiggum question and his packaged action figure solution.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 2:28 p.m. CST

    They should make a statue of Lucas

    by Dick Bahls

    taking a dump on a fanboy's head. That's much more representative of the prequels.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 2:30 p.m. CST

    I've got the high ground.........

    by Dick Bahls

    uuuuuuuuunnnnnnnngggggggg!!! I'll never eat at Denny's again!!!!

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 2:42 p.m. CST

    well thats something we can ALL agree on..

    by whooooooop

    Denny's Sux...its also hi in carbs..and totally bad tasting..

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 2:53 p.m. CST

    Not gonna bother, but the winner MUST . . .

    by Royston Lodge

    ... involve Anakin sacrificing himself to save Padme. At that point in his conversion, she's the ONLY thing he cares about anymore. A real Jedi wouldn't get so hung-up on something as silly as a chick, man. I bet there's one heck of a brothel back at Jedi HQ...

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 3:04 p.m. CST

    Yoda v Sidious better? How exactly?

    by Larry Sellers

    Hayden and Ewan were pretty amazing in that really well choreographed duel...even if it reeked of "OK NOW THEY'LL DUEL INTO A CONTROL ROOM...NOW A CATWALK...NOW THE CATWALK COLLAPSES...AND NOW THEY SWING AND LAND ON SEPARATE PLATFORMS AND PSCHHHHHH VZOOOMMNN VZOOMMMMNNN" Seriously, though. Yoda v Sidious was really lame for a duel between the two most powerful force users at the time. Hulk v Abomination is a much better fight between two CGI characters. I'm so happy someone else noticed how Anakin's move at the end echoed Darth Maul's in TPM.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 3:25 p.m. CST

    Obi-Wan igniting his lightsaber first

    by NeoMyers

    That was the only thing about the duel I didn't expressly like. After "ROTJ" when much is made of the "good in Vader" and "Obi-Wan once thought as you do" it seemed incongruous that Obi-Wan would gear up first. Additionally, Obi-Wan didn't really try to bring Anakin back either, which I had expected him to do. So much was made of their friendship/brotherhood, etc. that I always expected Obi-Wan to resist fighting Anakin. In the movie, though, he pretty much goes right to it. But inasmuch as the logistics of the duel, I thought it was pretty good.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 3:39 p.m. CST

    Hey Whoooooop:

    by Dick Bahls

    Your going from becoming a big plant to a big weed! Get lost, jackass!!!!

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 3:54 p.m. CST


    by whooooooop

    if i leave i'm a plant...if i stay i'm a jack-ass... I'd pretty to take the jackass title...but yeah i'm allowed to be here just like anyone else.... I guess you didn't like my comparisons to Ratatouille?

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 4:04 p.m. CST

    Besides i'm really enjoying everyones analysis

    by whooooooop

    seriously i hope someone does do an excellent job at re-writing this...Tolkien always said that he wanted other people to come in and write other stories in his universe...and different takes on it...maybe some will be better in some ways...its cool to see diffent people takes on how they would do something...

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 5:06 p.m. CST

    I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    by Prossor

    he looks like he's shitting a brick when he says that line. pass a raging deuce

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 5:11 p.m. CST

    Seriously shitting out some Fiery Hot Coals...

    by whooooooop

    he had tasted the spicy burrito of the Dark Side...and Forgot to take his Force-Tums...

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 5:24 p.m. CST

    Always thought the final battle would have been done...

    by mrfan

    with Rock, Paper, and Scissors.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 5:30 p.m. CST

    The worst thing about the Final Duel..

    by Alfred_Packer

    Is that absolutely jarring cut to full screen Yoda-in-your-face crawling through through the Jeffries tube thingy after running away from Palpy. Sabers clash, music swells andddddd ...yaaaah!!

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 5:34 p.m. CST

    People still care about Star Wars?

    by PorkChopXpress

    I can't believe anyone still cares about this franchise, anymore. The "story" of the prequels was a ponderous, boring mess and the lightsaber "battles" were a joke. I don't seem to recall Obi-Wan teaching a young Luke Skywalker that he needed to swing his lightsaber around in circles, over and over, before swinging it at his opponent. I don't actually remember any balletic pirouettes, either. The cool kind of reclusive sci fi samurai that the Jedi WAS got replaced with some stupid bullshit nobody in their right mind should care about, unless they're four years old and like the toys...or perhaps if they're required to wear a helmet at the dinner table.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 5:47 p.m. CST

    I'll go ahead and congratulate StephenHawkingDiarrhea for winnin

    by Prof. Pop-Cult

    Because he's probably the only one who will enter. You know, if you are really cool, SHD, you'd destroy this diorama and put the video of the destruction on YouTube.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 6:16 p.m. CST

    When I saw the "Making of ..." of Prequel 1

    by Neo Sanguise

    there was one line from Mr. Lucas, which I still remember: "We have 50 Mio US$ budget, that's it!". Even without sensing what worse was still to come I was soooo upset. I mean: why did one of the richest guys on the planet wanted to spend "just" 50 Mio US$, if he could have easily afforded multiple times that budget for one of the most precious franchises/memory/experience of so many fans throughout the world. Of course more budget does not necessarily mean a better movie. But it kind of hinted at what would come from Lucasfilm: a prequel-trilogy purely made to maximise corporate revenues .... argh. So, to answer your question: Nah, not interested.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 7:01 p.m. CST

    I think the contest should be write the caption for the pictures

    by The Eskimo they do in nesweek, though a good one escapes me at the moment.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 8:22 p.m. CST

    hate Family Guy all you want, but...

    by necgray

    Chris: I had to make a shoebox diarrhea for science class. <p> Chris retrieves a box from under the table. <p> Lois: You mean diorama? <p> Chris: I think I misunderstood the assignment. <p> That is all I think about when I read or hear the word "diorama" now.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 8:25 p.m. CST

    Great Idea

    by cowsaysmoo

    Let's just see if one of us can write a better screenplay than George Lucas. Veeeery interesting. One of the better ideas for a contest I've seen in a long time. Publish the top 3 chosen on the site...that would rule.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 8:39 p.m. CST

    Back in the Summer of '83..

    by nyj_et

    I was nine and had just seen Return of the Jedi and read the novelization. In the book, Ben's ghost tells Luke that Anakin fell into a "molten pit" and that's how he got all disfigured. Ben also said that Owen was his (Ben's) brother. Anyway, I drew a comic (I thought that Marvel's Star Wars was the shit) version of Anakin and Obi-Wan's duel. I had Anakin slipping on a banana peel into the volcano. I doubt I could outwrite that one, 25 years later. I dug ROTS' duel. Alot.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 8:41 p.m. CST

    Although, I'd like to see a Phantom Edit

    by nyj_et

    of the duel scene with Callmemrglass' dialog. It's way better dialog than anything Lucas has written in the past ten years. There's my GL cheapshot.

  • That's showing a growing sign of maturity. It'd be sweet if we could get a full interview without randomly editorializing in the midst of the conversation. Solid growth all around!

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 9:01 p.m. CST


    by Corterville

    Can you please post the winners of this contest in a timely fashion? I know that reading all of those scripts will take a long while, I get that, but there are contests from last year on this website that still have no winners. I mean no disrespect to anyone, but there should be a set time limit in which a decision can be reached.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 9:13 p.m. CST

    Multiple entries

    by melchior42

    Are multiple entries permitted? I don't see anything against it.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 10:08 p.m. CST

    I just sent my version in, that was a fun couple of hours!

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    It just flowed out of me. It's pretty much the way I've imagined it since I first read the novelization in the eighties. There's a few extra details, such as Padme's name and such.<p><p> I really tried capturing the feel of the original trilogy, such as the humor and some cliches, while making it darker and more intense. Well, as dark as I imagined it those many years ago. Yeah, it's pretty dark.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 10:58 p.m. CST

    Stephen Hawking

    by Quint

    You can include the lead up in screenplay format if you wish, as long as you don't go over 25 pages.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 11 p.m. CST


    by Quint

    If you have a screenwriting program, there's usually a "save as PDF" option. If you don't, I can also take a .doc file or Text File, as long as the screenplay format isn't altered.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 11:08 p.m. CST


    by Quint

    I'm planning on being much better with this contest than I have in years past. I wouldn't have accepted it if I didn't think I'd have the time, which was what boned me in the past... doing a contest that stupidly ended right when I'm buried in more timely work. I'm looking forward to reading these.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 11:10 p.m. CST

    look closely...

    by BeerEngineer

    If you look really closely at the diorama, you can see Anakin whining about his mom.

  • Aug. 19, 2008, 12:16 a.m. CST

    Anakin clearly has Superman's super powerful blowing breath

    by YouAreAllMyBastardChildren

    Why we were never told this I don't know...<p>Why, George? Why didn't you tell us?

  • Aug. 19, 2008, 1:17 a.m. CST

    1 Important Question

    by Spaz_Monkey

    Does 20 pages of "They fight and fight and fight and fight and fight and fight and fight and fight and fight and fight and fight and fight and fight and fight..." count as a better duel?

  • Aug. 19, 2008, 2:54 a.m. CST

    1 important Answer

    by Tony fucknuts

    Lucas himself admitted that he bridged the scenes in his script just by writing "They Fight", so i guess it does, mate.

  • Aug. 19, 2008, 3:43 a.m. CST

    Wheeee! Star Wars Freebies for everyone

    by G100

    Except Moriarty of coures. ;-)

  • Aug. 19, 2008, 4:21 a.m. CST

    Wouldn't it be cool...

    by kungfuhustler84

    if the diorama had a little lever that you could pull and Obi Wan's lightsaber would swing down onto Anakin's head and make a little "BONK" noise? That's the only way I would want this. Maybe I will write a little script for this on an especially slow day. I could sell it and buy myself a couple of DVDs I consider to be more entertaining than the first two prequels.

  • Aug. 19, 2008, 7:15 a.m. CST

    I believe in Quint

    by keckyballs

    you're the man Quint. thanks for doing this contest. you have given me a reason to do something my brother and I have wanted to do but thought we never would. appreciate it

  • Aug. 19, 2008, 7:37 a.m. CST

    Love the joker avatar, harry

    by Abominable Snowcone


  • Aug. 19, 2008, 8:24 a.m. CST


    by StephenHawkingDiarrhea

    Wow, you may want to clarify that statement.

  • Aug. 19, 2008, 8:27 a.m. CST

    Revenge of the Sith Redux

    by StephenHawkingDiarrhea

    With my version, I was trying for something different than what we have all come to expect. Yes, the basic structure is the same of the Fall of Anakin, but I tried for a totally different approach as to how it actually goes down. I hope I win if not just because I thought my version came out pretty damn cool.

  • Aug. 19, 2008, 9:01 a.m. CST

    My Version

    by StephenHawkingDiarrhea

    I also tried to keep it in the same mode as the prequels (but not as shitty) but also drew dialogue snippets directly from the original trilogy, especially the New Hope fight between Obi-Wan and Vader. Maybe I am taking this a little too seriously. Knowing the talkbackers on this site, I am sure my take will be ripped to shreds if it gets posted. Bring it on, bitches.

  • Aug. 19, 2008, 9:05 a.m. CST


    by StephenHawkingDiarrhea

    FYI, BBC Writers Room offers a plugin for Microsoft Word that allows you to format screenplays. Worked like a charm!

  • Aug. 19, 2008, 11:11 a.m. CST

    On the subject of high ground

    by smackfu

    It's not particularly beneficial when you're sword fighting with someone to have your knees at their eye level. From above, you have to stoop and overextend yourself, your power, speed and ability to dodge are comprimised. From below, you just have to tee-off on them and duck when it seems appropriate.

  • Aug. 19, 2008, 12:59 p.m. CST

    Yoda say...

    by jackofhearts29

    .. There is only embankment in your mind. Unlearn what you have learned."

  • Aug. 19, 2008, 2:38 p.m. CST


    by Scabby

    Is there going to be some sort of runner up prize or something because it's quite a lot of effort! Still it's good fun.

  • Aug. 19, 2008, 3:24 p.m. CST


    by keckyballs

    clarify? what do you need to be cleared up? thank you quint for giving me a reason to rewrite the fall of anakin... is that too complex for your microsoft plug in script format mind. but good luck to you. i'm aspiring to be one of the greatest storyteller/screenwriters of our time. i use final draft :)

  • Aug. 19, 2008, 3:34 p.m. CST


    by StephenHawkingDiarrhea

    I think that Quint will have to post at least your entry and mine now so we can see which one of us got it better. Let the fanboys decide.

  • Aug. 19, 2008, 4:12 p.m. CST

    i'm down bro

    by keckyballs

    little friendly competition. my brother and i went pretty (possibly overly) deep into it. i just spent yesterday perfecting my intro scene's

  • Aug. 19, 2008, 4:19 p.m. CST

    Do or Do Not, Keckyballs

    by StephenHawkingDiarrhea

    There is no try...I can't wait until Sept 1st to see what everyone comes up with.

  • Aug. 19, 2008, 8:54 p.m. CST

    KeckyBalls and StephenHawking

    by Fineus Fog

    Looks like we are the only three - I jsut sent mine (All the way from New Zealnd vis the intertubes) p.s I went round to Peter Jackson's house first and he told he how to lay it down. Be nice if Quint posted all three

  • Aug. 19, 2008, 8:55 p.m. CST

    sorry bad typing

    by Fineus Fog

    Im drunkenly celebrating victory

  • Aug. 20, 2008, 12:16 p.m. CST


    by StephenHawkingDiarrhea

    Almost seems like if you haven't gotten that many entries to move up the contest end date? Worth a shot...

  • Aug. 20, 2008, 2:53 p.m. CST

    Mine's not done yet...

    by MCVamp

    So don't close this one early.

  • Aug. 20, 2008, 3:11 p.m. CST

    I'm stoked

    by keckyballs

    hopefully we all hit three separate kick ass perspectives of how our childlike imaginations envisioned the great fall of Anakin. this is going to be awesome.

  • Aug. 20, 2008, 3:11 p.m. CST

    I'm stoked

    by keckyballs

    hopefully we all hit three separate kick ass perspectives of how our childlike imaginations envisioned the great fall of Anakin. this is going to be awesome.

  • Aug. 20, 2008, 3:18 p.m. CST

    godamn it

    by Fineus Fog

    I just re read mine and noticed a few typos I missed - fuck it. I hope Quint can see through that

  • Aug. 20, 2008, 8:50 p.m. CST

    Now this, I like.

    by paulmkelly

    I'm gonna give this some serious thought.

  • Aug. 21, 2008, 1:44 a.m. CST

    I went more with story than spectacle.

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    Spectacle and serious exact choreography is for storyboarders, production and post-production. You know... for kids!

  • Aug. 21, 2008, 3:08 a.m. CST

    A mixture of story and spectacle

    by Fineus Fog

    Cos spectacle is how I see it - I felt a bit underwhelmed when I saw the film - two of the most badass Jedi duking it out and it just felt a bit tame. And supposedly Anakin's Dark Side powers are huge, of course the Dark Side is fueled by hate, anger and suffering, all of which Anakin was dealing with going into that Duel - thats how I let it play out in my script anyway, think of it more like what we now know as "The Dark Force Unleashed" if you will. For me Lucas' version was just two dude swinging at each other. But unfortunately GL is da boss of teh star worz ZOMG!!1!

  • Aug. 21, 2008, 4:51 a.m. CST

    This is a fun contest...

    by LedgerIsJoker

    ...count me in. I started on it and it's a bit more difficult than I had thought since a bunch of ideas have come to me and I'm trying to work them in coherently. Definitely going to be changing some events that occur in Episode III (I would add exposition of change throughout all the prequels but for the sake of simplicity I will try to limit my changes to just Ep. III).

  • Aug. 21, 2008, 11:24 a.m. CST

    Fineus Fog, sounds cool, I hope to read yours, but...

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    A good lightsaber fight focusing on the characters is more of a spectacle than a massive amount of special effects. I paid homage to the duel in Star Wars(1977)before they really let themselves loose.<p><p> As much as the duel on Mustafar was exciting, melting platforms, swinging on cables, fighting on top of droids... that kind of battle doesn't happen in the original trilogy. Spectacle overtook continuity for spectacle's own sake.<p><p>But that's just like my own opinion, man.<p><p>When these are posted it's going to be a late night. Like grading papers.

  • Aug. 21, 2008, 12:47 p.m. CST

    Actually, my version...

    by MCVamp

    Has Anakin and Obi-Wan in a hovering rowboat, discussing their feelings. Then Anakin asks Obi-Wan if he'd rather live in the ascendancy of a civiliation or its decline. When Anakin doesn't like the answer, he challenges Obi-Wan to blasters at ten paces. Yeah, it's gonna rock.

  • Aug. 21, 2008, 2:20 p.m. CST

    Archer, that is cool....

    by StephenHawkingDiarrhea

    Very similar to what I did. I made the battle purely between the two with specific references to the Original Duel. I also tried to make Anakin more visceral and evil than Revenge of the Sith did. And, NO DROIDS!

  • Aug. 21, 2008, 2:52 p.m. CST


    by Fineus Fog

    Yup I didnt mention them either. Not a lot of smack-talk either. I always imagined Anakin would be all fucked up and bloodied and shit, just fighting through it - using it so I included that kind of thing

  • Aug. 21, 2008, 4:19 p.m. CST


    by StephenHawkingDiarrhea

    Anyone else read the LUKE STARKILLER version of the screenplay where the death on the volcano planet forces the emperor to resurrect Luke/Anakin using the crystal? Anyone? Is my geek showing?

  • Aug. 21, 2008, 8:32 p.m. CST

    Anakin Needed A Red Lightsaber

    by amano

    I mean, why the fuck not? He was knighted a sith or whatever. That fat fuck with the halloween mask Sidious should have given him a red lightsaber then. If they just had the red versus blue lighsaber like they do in A New Hope I think the duel would have carried a lot more weight. Quint is right, the I've got the high ground bit is just not right. Anyone who says some bullshit like this lived up to their expectations after 20 years is not being honest with themselves, but I did enjoy watching Anny burn.

  • Aug. 22, 2008, 1:29 a.m. CST

    amano, I always thought his saber was blue until...

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    ...after the lava bath. But yeah, a red lightsaber would've looked cool. But OB-1 needed to give the blue one to Luke so there's all that symbolism and Excalibur stuff that eventually just falls out of the ass end of Cloud City.

  • Aug. 22, 2008, 1:33 a.m. CST

    StephenHawkingDiarrhea, mine's got the Droids.

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    The Droids, not random droids to fight on or fly around avoiding the fight.

  • Aug. 22, 2008, 1:34 a.m. CST

    OB-1 had the "MORAL HIGH GROUND"...sorry

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

  • Aug. 22, 2008, 1:36 a.m. CST

    StephenHawkingDiarrhea, those Starkiller drafts...

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    are on the internet, right? Maybe I should read those.

  • Aug. 22, 2008, 1:37 a.m. CST

    Other Body - One = OB-1, now there's an old rumor.

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    That didn't happen.

  • Aug. 22, 2008, 1:40 a.m. CST

    Prequels could have used a big ass Madalorian battle.

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    Now that's interesting. Mandalore Vs. Clones, hmmmmm. Weren't the Mandalores some kind of warrior race that the Jedi defeated during the Clone Wars? I think that was in a novelization. That's an old rumor to that never really happened.

  • Aug. 22, 2008, 8:19 a.m. CST

    Rumors that never really happened

    by StephenHawkingDiarrhea

    The rumors we all remember seem more like promises that were never kept by GL in his infinite wisdom. There are so many continuity issues between the prequels and the trilogy and the original novelizations that it boggles the mind. Part of the reason the prequels didn't live up to expectations can be explained by the fact they almost completely ignored what Lucas told us was coming. I enjoyed the prequels for what they are but I find it incredibly difficult to put them next to the original trilogy.

  • Aug. 22, 2008, 8:25 a.m. CST

    STARKILLER Drafts of the Screenplay

    by StephenHawkingDiarrhea

    Here is the link to THE ADVENTURES OF THE STARKILLER EPISODE I - THE STAR WARS and other drafts of the screenplay

  • Aug. 22, 2008, 10:37 a.m. CST

    Ok, mine's in. Close the contest!

    by MCVamp

    I kid, I kid.

  • Aug. 22, 2008, 1:15 p.m. CST


    by StephenHawkingDiarrhea

    Any chance you are reading these as they come in? To speed up the process?

  • Aug. 22, 2008, 1:19 p.m. CST

    The droids are in my version...

    by MCVamp

    I assume you guys mean R2 and 3PO and not battle droids. It's Star Wars dammit. The droids are part and parcel.

  • Aug. 22, 2008, 6:05 p.m. CST

    Why does this diorama....

    by eXcommunicated

    ....look like Anakin just sliced Obi Wan in half?

  • Aug. 22, 2008, 10:29 p.m. CST

    StephenHawkingDiarrhea, thanks for the Starkiller link!

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

  • Aug. 24, 2008, 10:28 p.m. CST

    in my version Anakin wins

    by paulmkelly

    it turns out that Kenobi was Vader all along!

  • Aug. 26, 2008, 8:21 a.m. CST

    I am wondering if Quint got mine

    by StephenHawkingDiarrhea

    I sent I am paranoid that he didn't get it. I didn't put my talkback name on it just my real name. Crap.

  • Aug. 26, 2008, 6:45 p.m. CST

    Don't worry dude, I'm sure he got it.

    by paulmkelly

    My entry ran slightly over the 25 page limit. Should I submit it as is or divide it into 5 separate entries?

  • Aug. 27, 2008, 5:55 p.m. CST


    by The Penultimate Gunslinger

    ... finished my first draft. I'm taking this a bit too seriously, but hey - I love Star Wars and have a lot of time on my hands!

  • Aug. 27, 2008, 10:29 p.m. CST

    I love Star Wars more than you!

    by paulmkelly

    And I literally quit my job just so I could work on this!

  • Aug. 28, 2008, 7:30 a.m. CST

    Ok, paulmkelly...

    by The Penultimate Gunslinger

    ... it does sound like you love Star Wars more than me :-P I think mine's nearly ready now - just gotta PDF it to the max.

  • Aug. 28, 2008, 7:32 a.m. CST

    But I'm a bit worried....

    by The Penultimate Gunslinger

    ... that I didn't include any Gungans. I hope that won't count against me...

  • Aug. 29, 2008, 4:42 p.m. CST

    I retcon the Gungans in my version,

    by paulmkelly

    As it turns out, they were an illusion created by Emperor Palpatine. At one point in Anakin and Obi-Wan's fight, Obi-Wan takes the form of Jar Jar and Anakin can't bring himself to slit his throat.

  • Aug. 30, 2008, 9:23 a.m. CST

    Jar Jar

    by The Penultimate Gunslinger

    If Obi-Wan took the form of Jar Jar, wouldn't it make slitting his throat all the more easier? Or do Anakin and Jar Jar have a little something going on they have to keep from Padme?

  • Aug. 30, 2008, 9:28 a.m. CST

    Cool competition

    by The Penultimate Gunslinger

    Anyway, this was a cool competition, I had fun giving it a go - letting my inner geek spill out. Although I would have prefered to re-write the fight between Yoda and the Emperor - having them only use the Force in some epic battle, rather than jumping around with lightsabres like chumps! I know he probally uses the Force to do it or something, but Yoda jumping about when he usually uses a walking stick seems a bit ridiculous to me. Did Quint say when we're going to find out the results for this comp?

  • Aug. 30, 2008, 7:48 p.m. CST

    Star Wars Episode 3 (non gay version)


    Quint, hope you enjoyed my version of the end of ep 3. I wrote it really late at night (had to wake up early for work the next day too, which sucked) and I realized that I had spelled Anakin's name wrong (Anikin). I know, I'm a retard. Anyway. Long story short, I gave it to my wife to take to her job to PDF it. I hope that that error does not hurt my chances. Also, please let me know what you think of my spec script, THE GUARDIANS. I would really, really, appreciate your feedback. By the way, any idea when you will announce the winners. Thanks again.

  • Aug. 31, 2008, 11:14 p.m. CST

    ok, NOW you can close the contest.

    by paulmkelly

    My entry is in! A whole day early. New personal record.

  • Sept. 1, 2008, 12:43 p.m. CST


    by Die_Hardest

    I plan to enter mine today.

  • Sept. 1, 2008, 9:27 p.m. CST

    how many people entered/will be?

    by paulmkelly

    I can't wait to see how it all shakes out.

  • Sept. 1, 2008, 11:47 p.m. CST


    by Fineus Fog


  • Sept. 2, 2008, 12:30 a.m. CST

    He's got to read them all, it would take me over a week.

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    Who knows how many people entered. If 25 people entered and sent him 25 pages...(using abacus)...625 pages, over 10 hours of non-stop reading if read aloud, like a screenplay should be read. But first he has to sort the serious efforts from the non-serious. This was a bold contest to hold.<p><p>It will be fun to read some of these.

  • Sept. 2, 2008, 9:41 a.m. CST

    I read mine aloud

    by StephenHawkingDiarrhea

    And it took me about 15 minutes, but mine was also only about 15 pages. I just hope that Quint posts a status update in the talkback. I also cannot wait to see if he posts the finalists.

  • Sept. 2, 2008, 2:15 p.m. CST

    When Quint, when?


    Quint, any idea around when you will announce the finalist's (we all seem pretty anxious here). And, once again, I would really appreciate your feedback on my script, THE GUARDIANS. I have a dream where script girl reads off the sale of my screenplay, as I gaze deeply into the heaving mounds of exquisite flesh that, where was I going with this, ah, yes. Please give my screenplay a read and let me know what you think.

  • Sept. 3, 2008, 10:43 p.m. CST

    Congrats to the winner!

    by paulmkelly

    Whoever he or she may be when Quint announces him or her.

  • Sept. 7, 2008, 11:19 p.m. CST

    Got mine in before the deadline

    by vadakinX

    It was kinda crap. First 9 pages are all dialogue (which I suck at) and the fight itself was only 5 or 6 pages though if I was to shoot it, it would be around 10 minutes. <p> I didn't want to go overboard with it. In fact it's pretty low key. My intent wasn't to have this huge fight between two enemies, but to explore why they are clashing blades, what they are hoping to achieve. <p> For Obi-Wan, it was about saving Anakin (Obi-Wan once thought as you do) and for Vader it was about trying to get his old master to join him. <p> Whether that came across in the script, I'm not sure. I thought about writing a massive, epic duel across the surface of Sullust or Mustafar, but I ultimately decided to keep it in a single isolated spot for the most part and make it a duel of words rather than a duel of lightsabers. <p> It's probably not what Quint was looking for, but I hope he enjoys reading it, and if it's a finalist, that you guys do too. If it doesn't make it into the top 5, I'll try to put it online for you guys to read. <p> I'm looking forward to reading what you all came up with. Good luck to everyone.

  • Sept. 8, 2008, 11:18 a.m. CST


    by StephenHawkingDiarrhea

    These were in a week ago? When can we expect to see the winners?

  • Sept. 8, 2008, 4:29 p.m. CST

    I also got mine in

    by quadrupletree

    I probably wont win, I'm not a writer and I've never written anything before. I was barely able to get it to 10 pages. Still, I'm really excited about this content and I can't wait to see what other people came up with! When will we know??

  • Sept. 8, 2008, 9:38 p.m. CST

    I got mine in a day early.

    by paulmkelly

    The version I submitted is drastically different from the first draft. If I win, I'm going to have to chip off pieces of the statue and give them to the people who helped me by reading my early draft.

  • Sept. 9, 2008, 4:25 p.m. CST

    paulmkelly, I wish I helped, I would love a chip off

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    Anakin's shoulder.<p>Anakin with a chip on his shoulder... the statue would double in value.

  • Sept. 9, 2008, 4:37 p.m. CST

    vadakinX, mine sort of turned out the same way.

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    I imagined the fight to resemble the Original Trilogy in tone, effects, methods, and relative budget.<p><p>It's the dialogue and the reason they fight that really matters. The craziest biggest saber battle of all time is just spectacle, and we already have that.<p><p>I would like to rewrite the entire prequel trilogy for the fun of it.<p><p>I'm just wondering if Quint received too many of these that are very similar. I would guess so. It will probably take that one special line of writing to set one part from the others.<p><p>So maybe many of us are good writers, or maybe most of us suck, who knows. I hope we at least get to read ten of them. This is a far better to analyze our opinions than just talk about it.<p><p>But like I said above, this contest was no easy undertaking for Quint; it will take time. Hopefully he posts it during some slow days so it doesn't get lost in a pile of other talkbacks.

  • Sept. 10, 2008, 5:56 a.m. CST

    How many of us entered??

    by Fineus Fog

    So if there is ten, maybe twenty of us - that would take a while to read. Iam more than happy to sahre via email if people are keen on reading. Maybe that way we wil get a feel for what we have all done. For me personally mine does have atouch of spactacle. I am a TV Drama writer - so I dont ever get a chance to write spectacle, unless you include glass being broken in a domestic dispute. I have been a fan of Star Wars since I was 5 (1982) and I first saw Episode 4. I still remember a few years later when my older brother told me about a fight between Vader/Anakin and Kenobi - I was mesmerised by the thought of it. When we did see it - yes it was spectacualr BUT the driving force that built it up - Eps 1 and 2 were severly lacking. Also the fact the Anakin had become fully immersed in the Dark Side and become a Sith Apprentice - with that thought in mind I made my version of Anakin so blinded by hate, anger and suffering that he is completely oblivious to Padme and Obi Wans offers of help. In reading it again after a week or two I am beginning to think The Joker influenced my writing if Anakin a bit much

  • Sept. 10, 2008, 5:58 a.m. CST

    I just made a point of stating that

    by Fineus Fog

    I am TV writer - my post os full of spelling and grammar errors. Awesome. It 11pm and I'm knackered

  • Sept. 10, 2008, 9:18 a.m. CST

    In my script...

    by The Penultimate Gunslinger

    ... there was very little of Obi-Wan trying to get Anakin to redeem himself. He'd seen the terrible things Anakin had done (killing all the Jedi or whatever) and had lost his faith in his apprentice. Anakin was dead to him - a bit like the way he talks about him to Luke in the later movies: "the good man that was your father was destroyed". He calls Anakin "Darth Vader" or "Vader" most of the time, and knows he has to kill him to put an end to the Sith. What ways did you guys approach the Anakin/Obi-Wan relationship during the battle?

  • Sept. 10, 2008, 9:19 a.m. CST


    by The Penultimate Gunslinger

    ... and I had Anakin use Force Lightning (because it's awesome!)

  • Sept. 10, 2008, 1:33 p.m. CST

    My Scrpit

    by StephenHawkingDiarrhea

    I use Padme in an integral way to Anakin's ultimate fall. I also had Anakin draw first instead of ObiWan. I too have him called Vader in the battle.

  • Sept. 10, 2008, 1:34 p.m. CST

    Check this out...

    by StephenHawkingDiarrhea

    Anakin's robotic hand holding blue lightsaber + plume of lava = pulling out a red lightsaber oh yeah!

  • Sept. 10, 2008, 2:58 p.m. CST


    by The Penultimate Gunslinger

    what did he use to pull out the third, green, lightsabre?? That sounds pretty cool. Lightsabres and lava-planet definitly go well together. I really hope we get to read a lot of these. I really want to see how everyone else did it!

  • Sept. 10, 2008, 3:53 p.m. CST

    Preceeding the duel

    by Fineus Fog

    in mine Anakin blows up the Senate building - which has most of the senate under Jedi protection in it. Thinking he has killed Padme, the mad bastard just ups and heads to Mustafar - blinded by his mission appointed by his NEW Master. I also definitely have Anakin striking first. The powers of the Dark Side are harnessed by Anakin during my battle - similar to the way he used it against Luke in ESB.

  • Sept. 10, 2008, 4:23 p.m. CST

    Did anyone else include Gui-Gon?

    by paulmkelly

    I used Gui-Gon's spirit to show when Anakin was choosing between good and evil.

  • Sept. 10, 2008, 5:16 p.m. CST


    by The Penultimate Gunslinger

    Is that Qui-Gon, or is that some EU character or something? I had Bail Organa in mine, as he was woefully underused in the prequels. "You served my father in the Clone Wars" - when did this happen??? Someone should have lent George Lucas the original trilogy on dvd. I had Obi-Wan striking first in mine - by crashing his Jedi Starfighter into Anakin (I'm not even joking).

  • Sept. 10, 2008, 5:18 p.m. CST

    Fineas Fog

    by The Penultimate Gunslinger

    Anakin thinking he's accidently killed Padme is a cool idea, and would explain his anger a lot more than the contrived reasons in the actual film.

  • Sept. 11, 2008, 11:25 a.m. CST

    Padme Accidentally

    by StephenHawkingDiarrhea

    In mine I have Anakin THINK he has accidentally killed Padme which sets up the ending where she is ultimately responsible for his fall.

  • Sept. 14, 2008, 7:47 p.m. CST

    Might as well chime in while we're all waiting...

    by MCVamp

    Mine also changes Padme's stupid "Paolo" story from Ep. II to an admission about how she had a crush on Obi-Wan after they first met. There's more Force power stuff too; Anakin throwing molten rocks at Obi-Wan, Force Lightning, and of course, a red lightsaber. Also, a quick bit with the droids.

  • Sept. 14, 2008, 9:38 p.m. CST

    Where will the announcement be?

    by paulmkelly

    Will this post be updated or will there be a new thread on the main page? If it's the latter, will someone do us a favor and post in here too so we know where to check.

  • Sept. 15, 2008, 11:31 a.m. CST

    Where it will be

    by NoahTall

    Quint will post it in his Farrelly brothers contest thread. You know, the one he started on Jan 5th and still hasn't finished. Actually I think he's hoping the Hadron collider will destroy the world so he doesn't have to finish any of the contests he's started.

  • Sept. 15, 2008, 4:37 p.m. CST

    i tried to set up A New Hope

    by vadakinX

    I wanted the lava duel to resonate with what happens in A New Hope. So I did things like having Obi-Wan block a move and tell Anakin what he's doing wrong and then Anakin replies: "Always the teacher" which links into "when I left you I was but the learner" in ANH. <p> I also had him call Obi-Wan "old man" at one point, and I'm not sure but I may have even had Obi-Wan call Vader "Darth".

  • Sept. 16, 2008, 3:52 a.m. CST

    so if anakin sucked off obiwan

    by Prossor

    then would obiwan have to return the favor on his cyborg cock ?

  • Sept. 16, 2008, 10:41 a.m. CST

    Sucking off...

    by The Penultimate Gunslinger

    Taste the power of the Dark Side?

  • Sept. 16, 2008, 12:28 p.m. CST


    by vadakinX

    I just read through my script again and found a few typos. I would have fixed them in a second draft but I didn't have time and I had to submit a first draft.

  • Sept. 16, 2008, 11:12 p.m. CST


    by NoahTall

    Typos don't matter. It's not like he's actually going to read them.

  • Sept. 19, 2008, 9:21 p.m. CST

    In my version

    by paulmkelly

    Anakin turns to Padame and says "I ain't yo baby's daddy. Welcome to the dark side, honey bunch."

  • Sept. 22, 2008, 8:41 a.m. CST

    I've said it before

    by Die_Hardest

    And I'm sure I'll say it again many times, Episode III is not the weak prequel. Neither is Episode I. The Prequels live and die with the developement of Anakin's character in Attack of the Clones and nearly every single beat in that movie is wrong.

  • Sept. 22, 2008, 10:26 p.m. CST

    A Long Time Ago....

    by paulmkelly

    this contest ended.

  • Sept. 26, 2008, 11:28 a.m. CST

    I won

    by paulmkelly

    der when they'll announce who won.

  • Sept. 26, 2008, 1:03 p.m. CST

    This Friggin Sucks

    by StephenHawkingDiarrhea

    I was all excited to see the results and if I won, but now I am afraid we will never find out....I feel like I wasted my time and creativity. Sigh.

  • Sept. 26, 2008, 2:58 p.m. CST

    Contest Oblivion....

    by Oliver Queen

    Yep, seems like this one will fall into the black hole that is AICN's list of unfinished contests. Too bad, everyone who entered seemed pretty excited about this one.

  • Sept. 27, 2008, 10:52 a.m. CST

    It's Quint.

    by NoahTall

    Quint is the only person here who never finishes his contests. I'm sure by now he has an entire room full of swag that he accidentally forgot to give out.<p> <p> Tell you what folks. If this talkback hits the 3 month mark (Nov 18th.) without a winner then I personally will buy one of those damn diromas and hold the contest myself.

  • Sept. 27, 2008, 11 a.m. CST

    I wish Quint would say something.

    by paulmkelly

    If he doesn't have the time to read them all, then just post all the entries here and we'll decide amongst ourselves.

  • Sept. 30, 2008, 7:52 p.m. CST


    by Fineus Fog

    I was pumped for this contest - considering I was in the middle of a big writing spree (working on 12 eps of tv drama) this was awelcome distraction, but fun - because I love Star Wars. But in typical Quint fashion it's just going slowly down the toilet. To be honest I didnt actually care if I won - I just wanted Quint to post a few of the finalists so I could others work and vice versa

  • Oct. 1, 2008, 1:14 a.m. CST

    u can remind him on his movie-a-day column

    by Prossor

  • Oct. 1, 2008, 5:37 p.m. CST

    Good idea, Prossor

    by Oliver Queen


  • Oct. 2, 2008, 9:55 a.m. CST

    Should Have Known Better

    by StephenHawkingDiarrhea

    Since he never set a timeframe for announcing the winners. Totally ruined my drive to write.

  • Oct. 2, 2008, 4:40 p.m. CST

    This sucks because

    by paulmkelly

    I'd love to lash out and curse Quint's name, but I don't want to ruin my chances of winning. I really should have re-thought my user name.

  • Oct. 7, 2008, 8:20 a.m. CST


    by theycallmemrglass

    I can lash out at Quint for you guys since I didnt enter in the contest. here goes....YO QUINT, Yeah you, SLAVEMASTER. WHats the idea with you slaving these bitches to write your dreams and not even saying shit if any of them will win your diarrhea, I mean diorama? You not thinking of keeping that diorama for yourself now, are you? Hmmm? That would be a bad muthafucking move, Quint. Your bitches will turn on your sorry ass. Now you dont want that and we dont want that. So, Paulmkelly had an idea of putting all the entries up for us to read and we can choose for you. Or we choose 5 then you pick the final. Anything, but just say something, muthafucker cos there aint no balance in the force in this part of the wood. Say something, Quint.

  • Oct. 13, 2008, 10:44 a.m. CST

    Tattle Tale

    by StephenHawkingDiarrhea

    Should we NARC on Quint to Harry? Get him in trouble with the teacher? Haha.

  • Oct. 13, 2008, 5:24 p.m. CST


    by The Penultimate Gunslinger

    Maybe the diorama fell into a Sarlacc Pit. Boba Fett's got it on his mantlepiece right now!

  • Oct. 20, 2008, 10:38 p.m. CST


    by paulmkelly

    I realize people have busy schedules, but we're closing in on two months since the contest ended.

  • Oct. 30, 2008, 3:14 p.m. CST


    by paulmkelly


  • Oct. 30, 2008, 4:49 p.m. CST

    Can I still edit my entry?

    by DarthCorleone

    I worked hard to make that midnight deadline and wasn't able to include everything I wanted or proofread, for that matter.

  • Oct. 30, 2008, 5:40 p.m. CST

    No, that would only delay the announcement.

    by paulmkelly

    And we cannot have that!

  • Oct. 30, 2008, 6:38 p.m. CST


    by The Penultimate Gunslinger

    Episode 7 will be out before this announcement is made, I'd wager :-P

  • Nov. 4, 2008, 2:18 p.m. CST

    President Obama will make Quint pick a winner!

    by paulmkelly

    All will be right with the world.

  • Nov. 4, 2008, 4:01 p.m. CST

    But McCain...

    by The Penultimate Gunslinger

    ... has promised to make sure all competitions on Aintitcool are sorted out on time, I hear. Now I don't know who to vote for!! Thank god I'm English - we didn't even have to bother voting for our current Prime Minister. Gordon Brown kindly put himself in charge so we wouldn't have to bother walking to the polling station in the pouring rain. What a hero!

  • Nov. 5, 2008, 11:54 a.m. CST


    by orcus

    Don't mind Orcus, just passing through to the buffet

  • Nov. 9, 2008, 7:09 p.m. CST

    Closing in on 3 months!

    by paulmkelly

    Maybe for the three month anniversary Quint will throw us a bone.

  • Nov. 13, 2008, 3:58 p.m. CST

    Has anyone contacted Sideshow?

    by paulmkelly

    Do you think they care that their statue never made it to a fan?

  • Nov. 15, 2008, 7:15 a.m. CST

    QUINT is on it guys!

    by theycallmemrglass

    I made a bit of an attack on Quint about the contest on another TB (Scorekeeper's DK contest) and I think his response will be re-assuring to all of you! Read it here: _________ I am now officially the bad guy and I did it for you guys! Oh ok, I also did it for me so I can read the winning entries ;)

  • Nov. 17, 2008, 9:47 p.m. CST

    The only thing Quint is on is

    by paulmkelly

    the clock! *tick* *tick* *tick* Time's running out, Quimby Joe.

  • Nov. 18, 2008, 12:28 a.m. CST

    I contacted them

    by NoahTall

    He might also get on it because I contacted Sideshow and told them he wasn't giving away their prize as promised. Apparently he doesn't actually have the prize himself but it will be mailed to the winner by Sideshow. He is however a lazy lying sack who can take two hours a day to sit on his ass and watch dvds (a project he started after he started the contest) but can't take two hours to read all of the scripts. And unless his reading level is "See Spot run. Run Spot run." then it shouldn't have taken him even two hours to read all the entries. I hate, despise, and loathe people who constantly blame their own failings on others instead of taking the initiative and getting the job done. Quint is the spokesperson for this pathetic type of do nothing. If he had just stayed awake a few extra minutes a day he could have read 90 scripts by now. And it is my belief that even the accusations in the other thread, and my own inquiries to Sideshow, will not lead to an end to this contest before the end of this year.

  • Nov. 23, 2008, 11:59 p.m. CST

    I demand satisfaction!

    by paulmkelly

    Satisfy me, Quint. Satisfy me!

  • Nov. 25, 2008, 1:53 p.m. CST

    That sounds sooo wrong

    by orcus

  • Dec. 2, 2008, 4:26 p.m. CST

    Hey NoahTall, pony up

    by paulmkelly

    "by NoahTall Sep 27th, 2008 10:52:26 AM Quint is the only person here who never finishes his contests. I'm sure by now he has an entire room full of swag that he accidentally forgot to give out. Tell you what folks. If this talkback hits the 3 month mark (Nov 18th.) without a winner then I personally will buy one of those damn diromas and hold the contest myself." Pick a winner, you deadbeat!

  • Dec. 7, 2008, 11:24 a.m. CST


    by NoahTall

    I suppose I said I would do it so I will.<p><p> Send entries to<p> Subject: Diorama Contest<p> Deadline is Midnight New Years Eve<p><p><p><p>There have to be a decent number of entries received too. If I only get a couple then I'll still award a prize but it will be a slightly less valuable one like a Lego Jedi Starfighter or some such. Unlike Quint I'm not going to make money for this. The prize will be coming out of my pocket.

  • Dec. 8, 2008, 12:36 a.m. CST

    Thanks NoahTall

    by Fineus Fog


  • Dec. 8, 2008, 10:20 a.m. CST

    First class, NoahTall

    by Oliver Queen

    My submission is away to you. Thanks for sponsoring a side contest, this is awesome.

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Good job folks

    by NoahTall

    So far I've received 7 submissions. Just a note. Please include your name in the actual entry file itself. I've already edited the ones that didn't have it in order to be able to keep them straight. When the contest is done I will either put up a website to host the entries or else make them all available for download as a zip file.

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 12:09 p.m. CST

    Oh also.

    by NoahTall

    If you know anybody else who entered Quint's version of this and who might not be reading this talkback then let them know about it too. I encourage plenty of entries.<p><p>And what I have so far includes some very professional entries.

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 1:46 p.m. CST

    Looking forward....

    by Oliver Queen

    to reading all the entries you receive. I'm sure we've got some good writers on here.

  • Dec. 10, 2008, 4:58 p.m. CST

    This is a pretty cool idea

    by The Penultimate Gunslinger

    Looking forward to reading all the entries. I'll dig mine out and send it to ya as well.

  • Dec. 16, 2008, 11:23 a.m. CST

    Noah wasn't joking?

    by 1FearlessJay

    I honestly thought you were kidding. That's so awesome. I'll definitely be dusting my entry off and sending it to you soon.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 11:35 p.m. CST


    by Evil Chicken

    There must have been a boatload of entries. I don’t envy having to read ‘em all. ...Bump.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 8:27 a.m. CST


    by orcus

    If you had an extra 100 posts or so it would be a bump

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 8:48 p.m. CST

    You can bump these posts?

    by paulmkelly

    Where does it get bumped to?

  • Jan. 1, 2009, 12:11 p.m. CST


    by NoahTall

    Well, I just ordered the figure and my bank account is now whimpering. I guess I have till it arrives to finish reading all the entries.

  • Jan. 1, 2009, 10:40 p.m. CST

    which figure did you order?

    by paulmkelly

    the statue?

  • Jan. 2, 2009, 8:43 a.m. CST

    Yep, the statue.

    by NoahTall

    I ordered the statue because this is about getting somebody the prize they deserve. Undoubtedly somebody will get a statue when Quint finally gets around to judging the contest, but in his case he will probably roll a d20 and randomly pick a script.

  • Jan. 9, 2009, 1:57 p.m. CST

    I wonder if Quint will actually pick a winner ever.

    by paulmkelly

    I really do wonder. I'm starting to get sick and tired on entering contests that never get resolved. I enter quite a few YouTube contests and it seems like no one ever sticks to their own set dates. Waiting truly is the hardest part.

  • Jan. 11, 2009, 4:08 p.m. CST

    I'll be watching this TB with great Interest!

    by theycallmemrglass

    Interesting turn of event I see here. A contest that appears to be abandoned by has now been hijacked by a TB'er! This is so fucking funky! But cant help wondering if Quint saw Noah hijack this contest and thought "Thank god, someone else is doing it, YES! I dont have to read these fucking scripts now" :)

  • Jan. 13, 2009, 11:40 a.m. CST


    by NoahTall

    The Diorama has arrived and it is huge. I will complete the reading and judging this weekend. The prize might take a week or possibly two to ship off depending on how much it is going to cost me to ship and insure it. The package is huge even if most of the size of it is the Styrofoam packaging.

  • Jan. 13, 2009, 3:58 p.m. CST

    Exciting news!

    by Oliver Queen

    Thanks for keeping us posted. Can't wait to hear the results.

  • Jan. 15, 2009, 1:59 p.m. CST


    by orcus

  • Jan. 15, 2009, 4:08 p.m. CST


    by DarthCorleone

    I just now came back over here out of curiosity, as I noticed a while back that this entire thread had been removed from the Contests section. Now it has reappeared. <br><br>Noah, I know I missed your New Year's Eve deadline, but would it be cool for me to send my entry still? If you've already read everything and picked a winner, that's o.k. I can respect the deadline you set. I just spent a lot of time on my entry, and I'm frustrated with what transpired here.

  • Jan. 17, 2009, 1:13 p.m. CST

    late entry

    by NoahTall

    You can enter providing I get it before Sunday night. I'll hold off final judgment till then.

  • Jan. 21, 2009, 7:54 p.m. CST

    pins and needles

    by paulmkelly

    I'm on them.

  • Jan. 22, 2009, 3:30 p.m. CST

    Any pics

    by orcus

    C'mon, don't leave Orcus hangin', like there was much to do in the underworld anyway

  • Jan. 23, 2009, 12:37 a.m. CST

    Sorry for the delay

    by NoahTall

    I've found if I read through these more than a couple at a time I tend to start skimming and I don't want to do that. <p> <p>Four more and I'll be done with the first read through. Then reread the best to pick the winner.

  • Jan. 24, 2009, 12:03 a.m. CST

    I hope Quint doesn't think he's off the hook.

    by paulmkelly

    Someone needs to take a class on personal responsibility!

  • Jan. 26, 2009, 12:46 a.m. CST

    Any plans

    by Fineus Fog

    to post any of the entries and get some feedback - Call me egotistical (not saying mine is the best) but I want people to read mine and give me feedback. I wanna read others too

  • Jan. 26, 2009, 6:17 p.m. CST

    And then I completely forgot to send it!

    by DarthCorleone

    Sorry - I'll try sending it this evening. If I'm too late, no worries.

  • Jan. 30, 2009, 2:39 p.m. CST


    by paulmkelly

    Am I right, folks?

  • Feb. 1, 2009, 1:27 p.m. CST

    Okay folks

    by NoahTall

    Well, I finally made the final decision. Winner has been notified by email.<p> <p> Here is the link to the zipfile with all the entries. There was one late entry which was not judged but was included in the file. The winner was Jeremy Jaynes and his entry is clearly labled as winner.<p> <p> As to my reasoning for the final decision. Several of the entries were quite good but my final preference was due to one little detail. In Jeremy's entry the planet was clearly shown to not be entirely volcanic and had inhabitable areas. That's one thing that really irked me about the original movie. The two of them fighting and breathing normally on a planet that was essentially nothing but one big live volcano. <p> <p>Here is the link. Let me know if you have any problems.<p> <p>

  • Feb. 2, 2009, 9:40 a.m. CST

    Thanks, Noah!!!

    by 1FearlessJay

    Can't wait to read some of the other entries. I hope it was more than the grass on the field that got me the top spot though :)

  • Feb. 2, 2009, 4:22 p.m. CST

    What number is the winning one?

    by paulmkelly


  • Feb. 2, 2009, 11:08 p.m. CST

    Which number?

    by NoahTall

    Ummm... that would be the one that doesn't have a number but is named winner.<p> <p> And the one that arrived too late for the contest would be the one named "late entry"

  • Feb. 5, 2009, 3:34 p.m. CST

    Late entry guy here...

    by MCVamp

    Perfectly fine with the outcome (especially since I was, you know, late) and there were several creative entries...good show everyone. I always assumed Mustafar had an artificial climate, but the fact that it wasn't even casually mentioned in the movie bugged me too. I should have mentioned it myself, not that it would have made a difference. Obi-Wan chopping firewood in the winning entry was a nice touch; gave him something to do while he baited Vader. Sorry my entry was so messy. I had to reformat my hard drive a few days before and I lost almost all of my word programs (didn't have a Screenwriting program to begin with.) Thanks for running the side contest in the first place NoahTall, and who knows? Maybe Quint will get the light bulb over his head before 2010.

  • Feb. 5, 2009, 10:37 p.m. CST

    Congrats to the winner...

    by DarthCorleone

    I finally remembered. I'm so scatter-brained. Anyway, I was going to send it off tonight, but it's too late. I'm quite proud of mine, but it will have to remain unjudged. Anyway, I'll take a look at those other entries. I'm sure they are great.

  • Feb. 5, 2009, 10:57 p.m. CST

    Yeah, winner deserved it.

    by DarthCorleone

    Just read the entry. Great job! (Now I realize mine sucks.)

  • Feb. 6, 2009, 9:51 a.m. CST

    Thanks, guys!

    by 1FearlessJay

    Winning entrant here. I appreciate the kind words. And Noah, I think I can speek for everyone when I say thanks for having the side-contest. I've been very close to giving up on writing the past couple years. So something like this, as silly as it might sound, keeps me from doing it. Just know that I am grateful, and I look forward to reading everyone else's entries too. Like DarthCorleone, I'm sure I'll feel like mine sucks in comparison. It never fails that someone else will come up with an idea you wished you had.

  • Feb. 9, 2009, 3:55 p.m. CST

    Aha! We found out what happened to Quint!

    by 1FearlessJay got the scoop here (remove the spaces)http:// /index. php?id=25054 So this somewhat explains his mysterious absence.

  • Feb. 10, 2009, 7:36 a.m. CST


    by 1FearlessJay

    I guess you could read the article on this site that says the same thing. My bad. http:// node/40044

  • Feb. 10, 2009, 3:34 p.m. CST

    I guess we're not important enough.

    by paulmkelly

    I don't think I'll be seeing that one.

  • March 8, 2009, 4:34 p.m. CST

    Someday we'll find it...

    by paulmkelly

    The rainbow connection. The lovers. The dreamers and me...

  • March 10, 2009, 10:35 a.m. CST

    First Mori then Quint

    by orcus

    What are we left with? Scriptgirl? Nice tits but eh

  • March 10, 2009, 11 a.m. CST


    by NoahTall

    Just for those who care. The Diorama has been received by the winner. Well, the one I awarded that is. Quint's is likely sitting on a shelf in his office where he stares greedily at it and chuckles at the gullibility of AICN readers.

  • March 10, 2009, 9:21 p.m. CST

    What happened to this contest?

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    I thought we'd get to read about 25 of the best entries, from the silly to the serious to the dead on what it should have been.

  • March 15, 2009, 6:42 p.m. CST

    Quint responded to me in another post.

    by paulmkelly

    He said I'd be very happy soon.

  • March 17, 2009, 5:53 p.m. CST

    Maybe Quint gave the diorama to Scriptgirl?

    by The Penultimate Gunslinger

    I wouldn't hold it against him. In fact, someone should create a diorama of Scriptgirl and give that away as a prize! Or maybe just a diorama of her jubblies. Mmmm.... jubblies....

  • March 17, 2009, 9:28 p.m. CST

    I didn't know who Scriptgirl was

    by paulmkelly

    so I googled her. Wow, she's annoying. Way to use your boobs to promote yourself.

  • March 18, 2009, 5:26 a.m. CST

    Boobs = Fame

    by The Penultimate Gunslinger

    Unfortunalty men are programmed to obey boobs. They're sort of like our kryptonite.

  • March 18, 2009, 1:50 p.m. CST


    by orcus

    Seriously, she is annoying

  • March 31, 2009, 5:12 p.m. CST

    How will you spend the 8 month anniversary of this contest?

    by paulmkelly

    All the way back in August of 2008, this contest began. Seven-plus months later, we still don't have an official winner.

  • April 1, 2009, 2:56 p.m. CST

    Usually with a movie and drinks afterwards

    by orcus

  • April 1, 2009, 10:54 p.m. CST

    But Quint is doing a great job. Really...

    by NoahTall

    Or to quote his post from back in August<p> <p>I'm planning on being much better with this contest than I have in years past. I wouldn't have accepted it if I didn't think I'd have the time, which was what boned me in the past... doing a contest that stupidly ended right when I'm buried in more timely work. I'm looking forward to reading these.

  • April 13, 2009, 7:01 a.m. CST

    The only way to sort this out...

    by The Penultimate Gunslinger

    ... would be for us all to have a massive talkback conversation here to bring this talkback into the "Top Talkbacks" section. We'd only need about 30 posts in a day. I'm not sure exactly what this would atchieve, but it'd get the fact that this competition is still uncompleted noticed. Rebellion!!!!

  • April 13, 2009, 11:58 a.m. CST

    The question

    by NoahTall

    The question is does anybody actually read the various sections or are they like me? I just check the front page to see if anything new is up and I bookmark any talkbacks I'm interested in so I don't lose track as they scroll off.

  • April 13, 2009, 9:06 p.m. CST

    I just check the front page.

    by paulmkelly

    Let the spamming commence.

  • April 13, 2009, 9:07 p.m. CST

    We're coming for you, Quint.

    by paulmkelly

    Watch out!

  • April 14, 2009, 5:24 p.m. CST

    according to Sideshow someone DID win.

    by paulmkelly

    "There was a winner picked; I guess he never posted it. We were sent the info of the winner, and mailed them the products." Fishy. Why wouldn't Quint update this thread to simply say someone won?

  • April 14, 2009, 7:42 p.m. CST

    Oops, forget I said that!

    by paulmkelly

    Keep thinking you have a chance. Sorry you had to shell out the money to buy the statue, NoahTall. You're a stand up dude, unlike some people.

  • April 17, 2009, 9:26 p.m. CST

    I'll tell you who the winner was.

    by NoahTall

    It was Quint. Right now that statue is setting on his desk.<p> <p>At least that's my guess.

  • April 18, 2009, 6:08 a.m. CST

    He replied to my e-mail the other day.

    by paulmkelly

    He said he'd post who won in the next 3-4 days. I don't know how long a day is in his universe. Probably 20 years. If all parties are on the level, then someone has already received the statue. I would THEY would post.

  • April 18, 2009, 7:46 a.m. CST

    Trust me guys

    by Finley_Slade

    He is on the level