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CLONE WARS Rockets Alexandra DuPont Into A Fit Of Depression!!

Star Wars: The Clone Wars: FAQ (by Alexandra DuPont) ____
Q. What's the upshot? I know Harcourt Fenton Knowles hated this thing with a nuclear fury, and that Moriarty maybe liked it, but personally I just found the theatrical release of the television pilot for "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" kind of depressing. I found it depressing because "The Clone Wars" does the following: 1. It takes the premise of an epic, big-screen movie series and downscales everything (the ideas, the special effects, the music, the dramatic stakes) to children's-television size. But then, for whatever reason, Lucas and Warner Bros. decided to project this downscaled version of "Star Wars" back up on a big screen -- and they want you to pay to see it. Which of course makes all those TV-sized ideas, special effects, musical notes and dramatic stakes feel kind of tiny. 2. I also found "Clone Wars" depressing because it's so nakedly designed by Lucas to feed the fanbeast so the fanbeast will keep feeding him. Which is fine. If Lucas wants to make a lower-stakes TV project that generates revenue without provoking much passion or discussion, that's his business. But it leads to my next point .... 3. I found "Clone Wars" depressing because of the sense of finality it created among the older "Star Wars" fans at my screening: Whatever emotional investment we had in "Star Wars" as the prequels unfolded is absolutely over. "Star Wars" is no longer even trying to be clunky big-budget cinematic mythmaking: It's an episodic TV show that sells toys. Little kids -- the budding "Star Wars" merchandising victims the corporations really care about -- will probably kind of dig "Clone Wars." I'm guessing older fans will walk out of the cineplex realizing this series simply isn't made for them. If this 98-minute TV pilot is any indication, the impending Cartoon Network series is going to have the same diminishing-returns vibe as the later "Star Trek" movies and TV shows. Every episode is going to follow a pattern: Boring, chatty, invincible Jedi Knights will holographically teleconference and get in generic lightsaber duels. (You'll already know who can't die, because the show's set between "Attack of the Clones" and "Revenge of the Sith.") The phone calls and lightsaber duels will be interrupted by longish war scenes in which expendable clones and expendable droids march toward each other and fight. Each side's ranks will be fully replenished for next week's go-round. Rinse and repeat. If I'd first seen this on television, I'd be nicer, because the animation is really clever with its shortcutting and manages to feel more epic than it actually technically is. But walking out of a movie theater, I found myself -- for the first time in my longish "Star Wars"-dissecting career -- totally not giving a shit. It's all spoilers from here.

Q. What's the story? There's no 20th Century Fox logo, which feels weird. Then there's no opening-title crawl, which feels weirder. Instead, a breathless narrator brings us up to speed with a verbal recap so gung-ho, I thought for a second that it was going to end up being a "Starship Troopers"-style propaganda newsreel. But it doesn't. I think they just took out the title crawl because, you know, reading is hard. This is basically the first three Cartoon Network "Clone Wars" TV episodes welded together, and they more or less break down as follows: Episode 1: Against his wishes, Anakin is assigned a Padawan -- a snotty, smirky, profoundly annoying little brat named Ahsoka -- while he and Obi-Wan Kenobi fight an endless battle on Christophsis (which looks like Coruscant with half the buildings removed). In a gleeful flouting of child-endangerment laws, Anakin and Ahsoka bicker and bond while trying to disable a defense shield. Meanwhile, during surrender negotiations, Obi-Wan stalls the opposing droid commander, who is named, I shit you not, "General Loathsom." Episode 2: In the Teth System, Anakin, his Scrappy-Doo of a Padawan and a clone-army detachment attempt to rescue Jabba the Hutt's kidnapped son from the Separatists and Asajj Ventress (who apparently survived her death at the hands of Genndy Tartakovsky). Meanwhile -- in a development that will delight any "Phantom Menace" fan -- both Obi-Wan and Dooku are negotiating with Jabba the Hutt in a valiant, desperate struggle for ... ... get ready ... ... the right to use Jabba's trade routes! Ah, negotiations over trade routes. How I'd missed them. Anyway. Dooku is also trying to convince Jabba that the Jedi Knights kidnapped Jabba's son -- because Dooku's boss, Darth Sidious, is trying to drain the Republic's resources by getting the Republic into a secondary war with the Hutt Clan, and.... Sorry, I nodded off there for a second. Episode 3: Anakin tries to deliver the rescued "Huttlet" back to Jabba's Palace on Tatooine (which is now the most over-visited backwater planet in sci-fi history). Meanwhile, on Coruscant, Padme tries to escape the clutches of lisping sleazeball Ziro the Hutt (more on this outrageous gay stereotype in a second) after Padme accidentally learns of Dooku's double-cross during a diplomatic visit. I know: plotty.

Q. What's good? 1. The thing moves at a pretty decent clip, even with all the meetings and holographic phone calls and endless recapping of plans. If anyone tries to suggest that "Clone Wars" is better than the prequel films, I'm guessing they'll bring up the pacing. 2. I liked the way the filmmakers tried to differentiate the clonetroopers by giving them different hairstyles and tattoos, even if it makes them look like they're in some sort of Maori cosplay boy band. 3. I like the way Obi-Wan at one point floats out some slabs of rubble to create an impromptu negotiating table. He's a cool cucumber in his scene with General Loathsom. 4. I also really liked that the filmmakers finally put a junked-out, clunky, asymmetrical spaceship with problems in a prequel story. Anakin steals a piece-of-shit spice freighter to fly the rescued "Huttlet" to Tatooine -- and the ship's shields and guns refuse to work while he's getting chased and shot up by bodyguard droids. Although the dialogue and characters in this sequence are annoying for reasons I'll explain below, it still gave me just a tiny nostalgic twinge for the greatest "Star Wars" sequence ever -- and it also made me realize I would totally poop Froot Loops if Lucas would just spring for the voice cast and make an animated Han-and-Chewie movie, or even just animate the soundbed of NPR's 1981 "Star Wars" radio drama. 5. I want to praise the computer animation, but it's kind of a backhanded compliment -- because, again, I'm praising it for being so clever with its shortcuts and thus seeming more elaborate than it actually is. Near as I can tell, Lucas (who has made comments that suggest this movie cost less than $10 million to make) gave the animators an interesting engineering problem: Make the Clone Wars look vast without actually spending much money or time. And his team pretty much pulls it off -- thanks to a combination of camera movement, simple painted backgrounds, stark compositions, recycling/slight modification of existing character/vehicle designs in the Lucasfilm hard drives, extensive use of characters who wear helmets or lack eyes and mouths, and the use of looped movements and cloned characters. I expect the ensuing TV series is going to look fabulous on a small screen. That said ...

Q. What's not-so-good? 1. ... "Clone Wars" isn't being shown on a small screen right now -- so I was easily picking out all the corner-cutting devices listed above. This only really bothered me on the human characters, who barely move their faces and occasionally look like unusually lively totem poles as they gesture wildly to express emotions during moments that could use a lot more nuance. 2. There's no nice way to put this: The dialogue (and the delivery of said dialogue) is totally simplistic, totally flat, totally juvenile, and mostly foolish. A few examples (of many):
a. ANAKIN: "This smells like Count Dooku to me!" b. JABBA'S TRANSLATION DROID: "[Jabba] demands you bring back the slime who kidnapped his punky muffin." c. ANAKIN: "I knew you'd get here on time!" AHSOKA: "Always in time to save your life!" d. The whiny Anakin and the even whinier Ahsoka bicker like the anti-Bing-and-Bob, and immediately start calling each other "SkyGuy" and "Snaps." Ahsoka also refers to R2-D2 as "Artooie." e. On two different occasions, seemingly minutes apart, Anakin responds to one of Ahsoka's lame wisecracks by saying, "Very funny, Snaps." (The "very funny" rejoinder is, of course, the laziest possible laugh-track of a retort that you can use as a screenwriter.)
3. Because you demanded it, Lucas shovels out loads of all-new slapstick comedy with those "Roger Roger" droids. They can't remember simple strings of numbers! They trip off cliffs! They accidentally refer to Asajj Ventress as "sir"! 4. The stolen "Huttlet" baby looks like a bowling ball with a tadpole tail. It belches green fumes. I am also unclear on how Ahsoka can suddenly tell it has a fever. 5. There's a dull, repetitive sameness to the action scenes. This is partly because watching one faceless soldier fight another faceless soldier makes it monumentally tough to care. It's also partly because the movie is three episodes strung together -- meaning you get two or three marching-robot battle scenes that each would have been the high point of an individual episode. 6. The TV-sized music score is by "Stargate," "Enterprise," "Walker, Texas Ranger" and "Wing Commander" composer Kevin Kiner, and it isn't so much awful as it is deeply, generically uninteresting. (It's also apparently a lot less interesting than the score for "The Force Unleashed," if anyone here keeps track of that sort of thing.) I pity anyone who has to follow John Williams on this gig, but Kiner barely even uses Williams' themes; I've already heard more than one person compare Kiner's drum-driven version of the "Star Wars" main title (you can listen to it here) to something played by a marching band. (Over on the JWFan message boards, one poster wrote: "The [title] track sounds like Hans Zimmer's shot at the Star Wars main title. In other words, a personal nightmare.") If I want remixed "Star Wars" themes, I'll stick to the amazing movie-music mashups by serial-Katie-Sackhoff-interviewer Fatboy Roberts, thank you very much. 7. There's a moment where Anakin refuses to discuss with Ahsoka his bad memories of Tatooine. Oh, that's right: This children's-film hero is a mass murderer! 8. Unless I'm reading these Amazon pages wrong, this new "Clone Wars" is bumping Genndy Tartakovsky's vastly superior 2D-animated "Clone Wars" series out of print on DVD. Please, someone -- confirm or deny. 9. Finally, I have absolutely no idea what to make of Ziro the Hutt. He's a painted, feather-wearing old queen of a nightclub owner who speaks English in a lispy, Truman Capote Southern-fag accent -- reportedly at George Lucas' specific request. Phonetic spellings of Ziro's statements to Padme would read like this: "Ah KNOW!" and "A senatah ... in THIS nay-buh-hood?" and "Yuh TRIED to call fuh HELP, senatah." I honestly haven't decided yet if this character is SO wrong that it actually goes 'round the bend and becomes kind of perversely awesome in its totally-batshit-insane political incorrectness. But I'm guessing most everybody will hate the drag-queen Hutt, and I wouldn't be a bit surprised if GLAAD issued some sort of statement.

Q. What did your friends who are first-generation "Star Wars" fans have to say about the film? "R.P.," console-gaming engineer: "Halfway through that screening I was like, 'Oh, so this is what people who didn't like the prequels felt like! I never quite understood their level of hatred, but now I'm kinda starting to get it.'" "R.H.," lesbian filmmaker: "Once Anakin said, 'This smells like Count Dooku,' there wasn't a lot left to add." "T.F.," Lutheran minister: "I suffered through the prequel trilogy enough. I hate the iconography of the prequel trilogy. Why would I bother with something advertising a cartoon show where all the major players' fates are already established? I simply don't -- and can't -- give a shit." "T.K.," pornographer: "I think I'm finally, truly giving up on anything Lucas has done since, say, 1986, or will ever do, because it's simply not worth the heartache (and the money) to keep throwing attention and money at someone who clearly has no idea what the fuck it is that he's doing. (Not that this particular 90 minutes of bullshit is exactly Lucas's fault -- it looks more like the product of a marketing cluster-fuck than it does anything one person could've cobbled together, but you get my drift.) You've read this thing, right?" Warmest, Alexandra DuPont. Arm yourself to attack my critical judgment! It's easy and fun! Visit The (recently updated) DuPont Bibliography!

Readers Talkback
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  • Aug. 15, 2008, 1:58 p.m. CST


    by thefastestprofessoralive

    He said Spaceballs 2 would be The Search For More Money. Looks like Lucas fulfilled that prophecy.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 1:59 p.m. CST

    That sinks it

    by I am_NOTREAL

    Wait, I already knew this was shit, but it was interesting to read it dissected with such intelligence.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:02 p.m. CST

    The "Force" is with me!

    by vic twenty

    That is, I'm being "forced" to take my 7-year-old to this in an hour. Money and time I'll never get back...

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:03 p.m. CST


    by Vonfolger

    I just got back from seeing this, and while I agree with a lot of what you had to say, I walked away with a smile on my face. Yes, it was silly, juvenile and at times ridiculous, but It was Star Wars on the big screen again. Some of the fights were a lot of fun, and I enjoyed the appearance of Commander Cody from the animated clone wars. It really wasn't THAT bad folks.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:07 p.m. CST

    My wife calls me Punky Muffin...

    by The_joker

    I guess that means I'm a fat baby Hutt.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:08 p.m. CST

    CG crap

    by Beezbo

    When we saw the teaser, I turned to my 5 year-old and asked if she wanted to see that movie and she said "That was a movie? It looks like a game."

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:09 p.m. CST

    As someone who was there from the beginning...

    by Bubba Gillman

    ...back in that magical summer of 1977, this doesn't anger me as much as make me sad and wistful. This is the first time in 28 years I haven't rushed out to see a movie with the words "Star Wars" in the title on the first day. Perhaps this is the day that Bubba Gillman finally grows up (although I think I can put off that apartment hunting for a few more years). On the other hand, Vonfolger's comments seem to be luring me back to the dark side...

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:10 p.m. CST


    by cineninja

    ...Im beyond caring however I WOULD see this on condition I could make out with Alexandra in the balcony

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:10 p.m. CST

    I love these reviews

    by Heckles

    I can't wait to miss this movie.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:11 p.m. CST

    One thing is for sure...

    by RedBeard1701

    A dinner party a Alexandra's home would certainly be worth the trip!

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:14 p.m. CST

    Smells like Dooku

    by catlettuce4

    I hereby propose that "Dooku" now be used as a generic term for any crappy star wards thing that comes out. "This film was a stinking pile of Dooku" "Someone took a Dooku on that idea"

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:17 p.m. CST

    Isnt there a freestyle rap scene in this?

    by Baron Karza

    Thats really all its missing.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:17 p.m. CST

    I like these reviews

    by F-18

    because there in seperate paragraphs which makes it easier to read unlike one big run-on paragraph.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:18 p.m. CST


    by Stuntcock Mike

    Bigfoot lost.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:27 p.m. CST

    I heart Alexandra DuPont...

    by subtlety

    even if you did unnecessarily hate on the really pretty good X-files: I Want to Believe. Consider your frank, charming, witty review to this soulless hackjob your ticket back into my good graces.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:27 p.m. CST

    Great review. Love the "what friends had to say.."

    by jah_kingdom

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:28 p.m. CST

    The Clone Wars = Windows Vista

    by Human Worm Baby

    I noticed that The Clone Wars are having the exact effect as when Microsoft released Vista. Both are unnecessary, with bugs and failures, yet a couple of idiots defend their miniscule merits.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:28 p.m. CST

    General Loathsom? Why so subtle?

    by brokentusk

    What's wrong with General Evil?

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:28 p.m. CST

    The really chilling thing about all this

    by Klytus_I.m_Bored

    Is how Luca$ and co made this for "only" 10 million dollars. I use that in quotes because that's a lot of money to me, but I digress. Anyway, he made this film for so little and will strike a hefty profit from it, which will ensure a lot more of this bullshit from him. I've come to believe that this was the point all along. I mean to say, Luca$ never showed the Clone Wars in the PT because he was planning this kind of spinoff bullshit from the very beginning. He meant to leave a gap in the films that he could cram full of this spinoff bullshit. It's so sad to see. And don't give me that "it's always been for kids" line. Jesus that shit is tired. Look at the Han/Leia scenes in Empire and then look at this puerile shit. There's a difference. But maybe the difference is that today's kids are morons and 1980's kids weren't. Hmmm...

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:30 p.m. CST

    General Grievous? Why so subtle?

    by brokentusk

    What's wrong with General Baddie?

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:32 p.m. CST

    Star Wars will NEVER DIE!

    by Sithdan

    It will always live on! Long live the greatness and creative genius of George Lucas!

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:32 p.m. CST

    Truman Capote, eh?

    by StarWarsRedux

    Even as a prequel fan, I had no real interest in seeing what is essentially an animated pilot-episode on the big-screen. Now that I hear about the Ziro craziness, however, I might just have to see it.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:32 p.m. CST

    Grand Moff Tarkin? Why so subt... oh wait...

    by brokentusk

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:32 p.m. CST

    This would have been more interesting

    by Cash907

    had ADP presented it in a tight sweater with a plunging v-neck. That's what Tits-girl's boss told me anyway.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:33 p.m. CST

    Oh and where is Poochie in this film?

    by Klytus_I.m_Bored

    I assume he's in here somewhere. Didn't he have to go back to his planet and save it?

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:35 p.m. CST

    As I've said before

    by skydemon

    I'm totally uninterested, this is kidsville. i don't give a shit, or even a couple of shits either.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:36 p.m. CST

    Smells like Dooku to me, too!

    by Andre the Frog

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:37 p.m. CST

    What a shocker...

    by Drafthouse_Slave

    The Talkback Douches are upset and hating on a Lucas project. I'm shicked!!! I mean, you all have so many things to say about him all the time. You buy his stuff over and over again without hesitation, regardless of what 99.9% of you fools say, you still do! Wanna make a statement? STOP BUYING INTO IT! If you're that fucking pissed off, stop putting money in his pocket. Keep in mind, he said, STRAIGHT UP this was for kids and the Live Action TV series would be for adults. I saw this last night and I would would rather have seen it on TV, for sure, but I didn't hate it, not in the least. I think my ONLY issue was Capote the Hutt. And not because of the choice of vocal style, but because it spoke english. That's what bothered me. Anyone truly upset with the movie should just fucking deal with it and move on. If this was the last straw for you, GOOD. One less moron taking up space for those of us who do give a shit.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:38 p.m. CST


    by Drafthouse_Slave

    ... keep in mind Indy 4, wasn't just on Lucas' shoulder's... Ford and Spielberg are just as at fault... Spielberg more so then anyone.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:41 p.m. CST

    You're shicked? Really?

    by Klytus_I.m_Bored


  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:45 p.m. CST

    Alex, your circle of friends...

    by Kid Z

    ... sound like a secret, commando team from a bad WWII movie... "We have Ace, our demolitions expert, Rocky, master hand-to-hand combatant, RH, a lesbian filmmaker; TK, pornographer and Brooklyn... he's from Brooklyn.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:46 p.m. CST

    Probably the most balanced and honest review yet.

    by Zarles

    I was anticipating Mori's critique, but this one will do just as well. I'll be waiting for either TV or DVD to see this, mostly because I am sincerely interested in seeing it no matter how weird or fucked-up it is.<p>That said, 'Maori cosplay boy band' makes me do the LOL. Well-played.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:47 p.m. CST

    Oh the hell with it...

    by Kid Z

    ...I'll go ahead and say it: "General Disarray"!

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:50 p.m. CST

    but will it air on tv?

    by Bouncy X

    so if this is pretty much the first 4 episodes of the series, does that mean it'll all air on television this fall? or will the show start where this leaves off and it'll be on the eventual dvd season 1 release?

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:59 p.m. CST

    ADP is my fucking Hero

    by DOGSOUP

    I would actually rather poop froot loops then EVER see this OR the fucking cartoon series. Harry passed the turd, Massa dribbled it, ADP slam-dunked it right into a festering toilet. Kudos you classy lady.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3 p.m. CST

    Hope you are going to be a regular Alexandra

    by Lemming

    You're the most intelligent reviewer on the site, and seeimgly the only one who knows how to put movie-stills into your reviews. It breaks the page up nicely. Keep up the good work.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:04 p.m. CST

    Lucas has been stupid...

    by cifra

    ... to milk the cow too much. This shouldn't have ever happened, and have been kept only for TV. Never giving it the "scope" of the true Star Wars films - which I find overrated anyways but very good in the end, with the shameful exception of Episode I. I had decided to avoid it and pretend it didn't happened since I first saw the trailer.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:04 p.m. CST

    well one thing is for sure

    by whooooooop

    if parents hate something...then kids will rebel and love it...i wonder how this will be seen by the younger generation 25 years from now... its certainly not gonna fly with most of the people from my generation....(even though i really had a good time) but hey, thats just me. Apparently ONLY me..haha.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:05 p.m. CST

    I'm still looking forward to the Force Unleashed.

    by Orionsangels

    The story takes place apparently 12 years after EPIII and features Bail Organa and a young Princess Leia. It also features Vader and a small love story. Oh and Tie Fighters!!! It's more like New Hope than these tired prequels.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:07 p.m. CST

    Did Rachel Ray write this movie?

    by mr.brownstone

    Cause it sounds totally Yummo!

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:07 p.m. CST

    and no question the story we better

    by whooooooop

    than that was a toy commercial...

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:07 p.m. CST

    Punky Muffin?

    by London_is_dead85

    Does that mean they eat muffins in the star wars universe, how weird. Another thing, why did Obi wan decide to hide in Tatooine in episode IV when it was the most popular holiday destination for every cast member in the prequels and Clone wars. Shit, this stuff is making me think the original trilogy is stupid, Please Stop Now

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:13 p.m. CST

    The Orignal Trilogy was partly Stupid but please Keep going...

    by whooooooop

    C3PO covered in wires? agh SW was alsways part stupid...but with this new one... i had a blast...Please keep making them people...if anyone who worked on it is actually reading this...

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:15 p.m. CST

    Wait, there were people that liked that X-Files sequel?

    by gruntybear

    Really? This totally proves that you all are bug-fuck insane. That movie should have been buried before it ever saw its first screening. I guess this proves that geeks will obsess over literally anything . . .

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:19 p.m. CST


    by kravmaguffin

    Tell me I must know! Oh and this movie needs more cowbell! Alexandra D. Rules!

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:19 p.m. CST

    see thats just it...the x-files came and went

    by whooooooop

    no one cared people still care about this..

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:19 p.m. CST

    see thats just it...the x-files came and went

    by whooooooop

    no one cared people still care about this..

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:20 p.m. CST

    Best line ever...

    by zer05um

    "some sort of Maori cosplay boy band". As a Maori, that's got to be one of the best lines I've ever heard. Brilliant description. Kia kaha koutou.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:24 p.m. CST


    by Alexandra.DuPont

    Jar-Jar is nowhere to be found in "Clone Wars." Apparently Ahsoka, the belching alien baby and the drag-queen Hutt filled out the movie's annoyance quotient.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:25 p.m. CST

    General Loathsom???

    by Thrillho77


  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:29 p.m. CST

    Teletubbies & Thundercats cameo

    by Baron Karza

    And freestyle rap by Grevious.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:31 p.m. CST


    by Lost4Words


  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:33 p.m. CST

    Asajj Ventress didn't die in the animated one.

    by Alkeoholic77

    The story from the Clone Wars cartoon was adapted from the comics. Asajj Ventress survived the fall in the comics and went on to be a complete twat. Plus if she really died don't you think that Gendy would have shown it? I mean you saw a bunch of dead Jedi in the one episode that debuted Grievous

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:33 p.m. CST

    and the baby was nowhere near as bad as jarjar

    by whooooooop

    i mean he barly did anything at all... but yeah there were tons of plot holes.. like how in hell did they figure out he had fever...? well i guess the force would tell you that, but that probably doesn't count...anyway....I STILL had so much fun..the baby wasn't as bad as jar jar..and TRUMAN CaPotEaslug...was rediculous....i'm totaly scarred for life...but was amused.... no music numbers in this one...

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:34 p.m. CST

    Congratulations George

    by RobertBaron

    You've finally gotten Star Wars right where you wanted it: Silly, childish, completely CGI and irrelevant. Good job.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:34 p.m. CST

    Alexandra, Marry Me?

    by dp4m

    Alexandra, any woman who correctly identifies the Asteroid Chase as the greatest sequence in SW history (as well as the greatest music Williams ever cranked out) is definitely the woman for me. <3

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:34 p.m. CST

    George Lucas's neck gotta eat!

    by RobertBaron

    Sorry. had to.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:37 p.m. CST

    Gonna go watch Pineapple Express...

    by Banzai Rootskibango

    ...and then sneak into this one right after. <P> I love Star Wars and I just hope the quality of the episodes on cartoon network shall improve. I think it's a great opportunity to evolve the mythology of Star Wars as long as it's done right. Sounds like they're off to a rocky start but I can hope right? <P> Also, I keep hearing about this live-action Star Wars show that should be coming our way in the next few years. Once again...BRILLIANT idea...if handled the right way. No more clone wars. Have it take place between Episode 3 and 4. Focus on the characters and their stories...and you've got a winner.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:39 p.m. CST

    Sounds about as bad as...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...a yeti field goal.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:39 p.m. CST

    typical Lutheran reaction

    by ArcadianDS

    anyway, This was a classy review. Now can one of us readers make her a new avatar - one that's in focus? That looks like a pane from a Sad Sack comic.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:40 p.m. CST


    by PotSmokinAlien

    I'm surprised nobody's pointed out the racial aspect to this character's name-- in Japan, mostly in older generations if I'm not mistaken, the phrase "Ah, so-ka." meant something like, "Oh, I see." I know the grandparents in Ozu's Tokyo Story say it like fifty thousand times, if you need an example.<P>Maybe it's not exactly racist to name a character that, but it's a weird way to 'pay homage' to the Kurosawa films that inspired the whole series to begin with. (...i'm betting dollars to donuts that's how Lucas would explain it, if confronted.)

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:42 p.m. CST

    Somehow between the Star Wars v. Star Trek franchise wars

    by Lost Skeleton

    Star Trek is going to end up winning this race. Turtle v. the Hare my fanboys and the turtle (Star Trek)just might be making its move because the Hare has just finished poo-pooing on its legacy.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:45 p.m. CST

    Your choice of cinema chums is rather odd

    by The Rabbit Of Carrot Shaped Doom

    I must say that you have a rather fantastic, yet odd, choice of friends with whom you attend the cinema with Mr/Ms DuPont.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:50 p.m. CST

    ~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! VIVA LA TARDIS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~

    by The Marquis de Side 3

    there's ALWAYS DOCTOR WHO... walk away from the dark side guys and gals... =0p

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:50 p.m. CST

    Okay. I liked it. It's B-...

    by SingingHatchet

    I just got back from a pretty full matinee. I have to admit, I liked it a lot more than I thought I did. I do disagree that you don't care about the Clone Troopers. Rex and Cody were both developed. But I agree that the Battle Droid banter was lame. I really enjoyed the scene when the SPOILER Jabba's protocol droid announces the Bounty Hunters that Jabba sent after his son have returned. And then they cart in stretcher with their disembodied heads. Also, thought the Anakin-Padawan banter worked well. The pacing was fast... the battle scenes actually had tactical merit... not just a bunch of nonsense like on TRANSFORMERS! (Yes, d--- you Mr. Bay.) Anyway, it's not the best movie ever. I'd give it a C+/B- but if you are a Star Wars fan that secretly enjoyed the prequels, you'll like this too. Don't get me wrong, I am not someone who thinks the OT is inferior to the NT, but I thought the NT was enjoyable. I was sad to not see Williams themes used more heavily. But why can we expect someone to do better than Williams (or even half as good) in scoring Star Wars?

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:54 p.m. CST

    Fa'Bo - The Gary Dell'Abate of KUFO

    by catlettuce4

    I have no intentions of listening to any "star wars mashup" by Cort Webber's leghumping, contestwinning sidekick any more than seeing 3 cartoon episodes in the threater, as I my fill of Star Wars (and Katie Sackoff for that matter) on KUFO. Although I must say Lucas is getting one over on you if you think this cartoon is supposed to be the Star Wars movies - only animated on tv weekly. He's saving that for the live action Boba Fett chronicles tv series!

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:56 p.m. CST

    I can't even mock these movies anymore...

    by Sparhawk38

    I am worn out. For the people who say that the original trilogy are just movies are wrong. Especially "A New Hope" and "Empire..". Mr. Lucas has every right to do whatever he likes creatively to his material. It is also my right to believe that nearly everything that grabbed a hold of my emotions and psyche as a young kid has been slowly eliminated by what has followed. ugh.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:59 p.m. CST

    Am I the only one who thinks ESB is kinda overrated?

    by StarWarsRedux

    Not bad, mind you, just completely overestimated in relation to the rest of the series. Though I will admit, it does have the best cinematography. It's a shame people always credit Kershner, Kasdan and Leigh Bracket for ESB's strengths, when the glory should really go to Lucas, Joe Johnston and especially Peter Suschitsky...

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:01 p.m. CST

    aicn really cranking out these CW articles lol

    by Gungan Slayer

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:03 p.m. CST

    I'm a big Lucas fan...

    by fassbinder79

    But Clone Wars looks AWFUL. Between this and Indy 4 I really feel that he needs to take a step back and do his experimental projects to regain his grip.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:05 p.m. CST

    And the ADD generation shall inherit Lucas' scraps

    by snuffleupurass

    Good riddance too. I gave that tool some of my cash with the prequels but he hasn't gotten a dime out of me for merchandise since 1980. And he sure as hell won't get a penny out of me for any more crap he puts on the big screen.<br><br>I'll catch this series if they run @ 2am. Otherwise I'll just forget about it sooner.<br><br>And am I the only one who liked Scrappy-Doo as a kid? Everyone hated that little guy except me.<br><br>Anyway, Star Wars is dead. Pass it on.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:06 p.m. CST

    Okay, it's like this...

    by SeXX ED

    Star Wars haters are the most typical and garden variety geek you're likely to find. On the other hand, people who consider this mythology to be a part of their lives, themselves, people who truly LOVE Star Wars and everything it offers great and small, have understood what it's all about. They enjoy the ability to have fun with it.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:06 p.m. CST

    I'm going to marry Alexandra Dupont

    by smackfu

    And we will sit on our stark white lawnchairs on the Dupont estate sipping iced tea under an umbrella while watching our perfectly groomed children Skyler and Felicia play badminton on a hot summers day. And you won't be invited.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:06 p.m. CST

    My advice to Lucas...

    by fassbinder79

    Hire Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright to produce/write and direct show. And what is Kershner up to these days? Throw him a bone too. Maybe even bring on Kasdan to write a few scripts. Again, what has he been up to lately? Go the Starship Troopers route. Make it about the characters.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:07 p.m. CST

    Subtlety is right. X-Files 2 was good.

    by Mahaloth

    Not great, but good. Of course, it's probably 1,000,000 times better than the Clone Wars. I have no idea why there is so much hate on X-files 2. It's one of the better nostalgic dig-ups we've had recently.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:12 p.m. CST


    by Banzai Rootskibango

    ...I also enjoyed X-Files 2 but my complaint with it was that it didn't feel like a movie to me. It felt like a really long episode of the series. Fight the Future looked and felt like a movie. As much as I enjoyed it, what it did most was make me realize just how much I miss the show (from the good years...not those last few). <P> Also, I loved the Star Wars prequels and I'm sure I'm going to enjoy Clone Wars as well. This site is full of Star Wars haters and I refuse to be one of them if I honestly enjoy the Star Wars output in todays age. <P> I still feel that there are plenty of places to take Star Wars.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:13 p.m. CST

    What is Kershner up to? Are you kidding?

    by StarWarsRedux

    The guy retired after doing SeaQuest, for crying out loud. He directed one good film in his life, and even there it was probably Lucas calling the shots, at least as far as visuals were concerned. Seriously, he couldn't even direct a James Bond movie, or a John Carpenter script, and those practically direct themselves.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:13 p.m. CST

    yay...more bitching

    by SithAboveAll

    hey AICN, maybe if you put up a couple more new topics about it, you wont have to post anything else worth while up.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:14 p.m. CST

    "ROGER ROGER" droids LOL!

    by codymr

    I guess this really does stink... critics and fans are both giving this a bath. Personally, I thought the prequels were sort of OK, but no great hell (although part III was well made in my opinion). But I had high hopes for this series because it looked more like the OT SW with the clunky ships and Imperial/Republic pit commanders etc. I'm an OT guy who imagined parts I-III playing out differently. One thing I never could get my head around with the new films was the way the battle droids looked so spindly and their programming was so stupid. They should have been designed to be bad assed killing machines created to do one thing: Take down Jedi. Sort of Cylons/Terminators for the SW universe. They are so goofy that there is no serious threat and therefore lacking dramatic tension... at least in my mind.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:19 p.m. CST

    The crawl

    by Shoegeezer

    Lucas had to fight to get the crawl on the first movie. Fox were complaining that kids couldn't deal with it. Lucas said, well, they'll just have to learn to read. What happened to THAT George Lucas, how times have changed.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:21 p.m. CST


    by whooooooop

    no great ideas but TOTALLY worth seeing if you're not so attached to the OT that seeing changes in the franchise is gonna rip your guts out...

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:22 p.m. CST

    I guess George has never seen a Pixar Film...

    by conspiracy

    "Childrens" movies that by and large are smart, entertaining, and honest; without being gawd awful fucking stupid. Either George does not know kids...or the ones he does know are fuckin simpletons.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:24 p.m. CST


    by fartedinthefaceofhollywood

    For a looong time ive been a fan of Star Wars and now is the first time EVER im simply saying....FUCK STAR WARS, and it REALLY hurts me to say something like that about a series that sparked my imagination like nothing else. Out of all the films Episodes 4, 5, and 6 stand out the most because they had soul....AND 2 of the best films out of the ENTIRE saga WERE NOT directed by Lucas...which is why they rock, Lucas couldn't direct his way out of a paper bag. He directs actors like hes playing with GI Joes and in return we get....lifeless, plastic performances. Episodes 1, 2, and 3....each had bits and pieces i really liked but ultimately they failed to hit me the way the others did. What sucked most about the prequel trilogy (IMO) is that GL filled it with too much dumb unecessary shit when keeping things a bit simpler would have been much more a ciggarette with a 3 inch filter and a half inch of cancery goodness (a la Fifth Element style), a case of less is more i suppose, but thats just me. As for The Clone Wars......its a big fat hell-fuckin-NO!!! Revenge of the Sith was the bitter/sweet end for me.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:24 p.m. CST

    Maybe, Bendit...

    by StarWarsRedux

    But that's mostly due to Frank Miller's script. This was back when Miller specialized in writing smart, punchy science-fiction comics (Ronin, Hard Boiled, Martha Washington) and occasionally drawing them himself, which made him ideally suited to handle Robocop. Heck, if he'd gotten a chance direct it himself, he might've turned into a halfway decent filmmaker himself. Unfortunately, we got Kershner...

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:25 p.m. CST

    Confession: I liked Clone Wars!

    by Powers Boothe

    I watched it earlier this afternoon. It's obviously aimed for a far younger crowd than the live action SW releases. It was fun. Goofy in places but fun. The amount of negative energy you guys direct toward something obviously designed for small children is rather amusing.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:26 p.m. CST

    aww fuck

    by DanboJohnJ

    i've got a whole room of starwars stuff to get rid on e=bay............after 30 odd years,cheers george,nice one.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:32 p.m. CST

    Do Lucas haters dislike...

    by Powers Boothe

    THX-1138 and American Graffiti too or is it just his post-'83 work? I was always curious about that.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:34 p.m. CST

    Now, something that would make my day

    by skydemon

    The original movies, in original un-improved form, but cleaned up on Blu Ray HD. Sheer Bliss!

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:41 p.m. CST

    What does it say when...

    by Sith Witch

    every single thing you point out are things that I either love about it, or else they were so benign it doesn't make a difference anyway. I'll tell you what: I had a blast watching it. Pity so many didn't get to experience the sheer joy I did.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:41 p.m. CST

    Powers Boothe

    by snuffleupurass

    I don't know if I'm a Lucas hater I just think he's a terrible writer and a piss poor director of actors. But to answer your question. I really like THX-1138 and I still kinda sorta like American Graffiti.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:41 p.m. CST

    codymr....right on about the droids.

    by conspiracy

    As others have said..why are these fucking things "chatting" in the first place???? Telling jokes? Cracking wise? Saying "Uh Oh"? They have all the menace of a Robosapien in the hands of a 5 year old. STORMTROOPERS were menacing...even if they couldn't shoot straight, why the Troll of Skywalker Ranch saw fit to dumb down and kiddie-fy the villians is as confusing now as it was when TPM first shat itself upon the screen.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:47 p.m. CST

    "if anyone who worked on it is actually reading this"

    by DocPazuzu

    You mean like you, whooop? <p> If you guys want to see something really funny and revolting, read whoooop's comments in the Harry review TB.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:47 p.m. CST

    Sith your gonna tell us you're

    by conspiracy

    multiorgasmic as well? I can not fathom how anyone who enjoyed the OT, flawed as they were, could sit through hours of horrid trade embargo talk, "Roger Roger" robots, Horrid acting, horrid scripting and now horrid looking CGI that no doubt has JOhn Lassiter laughing like a tard with a can of silly string and a lighter. Please...tell me....what exactly did you enjoy in this?

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:50 p.m. CST

    Say, kids!

    by DocPazuzu

    Guess how many other talkbacks Drafthouse_slave has participated in? <p> That's right, kids -- two! <p> Another Clone Wars talkback and... an Indy 4 talkback. Pretty much says it all, doesn't it?

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:52 p.m. CST

    Drafthouse_slave.....Jet? Is that you?

    by conspiracy

    Pissed at us dropping the deuce on your trust fund?

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:55 p.m. CST


    by Metropolis

    How can one man single handedly be such a force in movie making and imagination, and then be so responsible for making garbage. I guess he just doesn't get it anymore. I guess he's WAY past his prime. I wish the STAR WARS UNIVERSE would be handed over to someone capable of writing and directing the great continuation to those great films of old. The concepts and universal love for the original trilogy is SO strong, that you'd think it could be easily reinvented by someone with the same instinct and vision Lucas had in the 70s and 80s. Oh well, I'm just going to cry into my Ewok doll collection.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:57 p.m. CST

    Anyone played STAR WARS: REBEL ASSAULT

    by WickedMonster

    I played it in the late nineties. It was so awesome, and my first introduction to the STAR WARS universe. <p>I come from a third world African country. :P

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:57 p.m. CST

    Were you guys also enraged by the release of...

    by Powers Boothe

    Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure in '84 and Ewoks: The Battle For Endor in '85?

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:04 p.m. CST

    Are we done yet?

    by Evil_Imp

    BORING! ...........I think everyone gets it after 6 AICN reviews or so. Lucas is a hack and he loves money. You are hurt and raped so stop lining up to take it in the ass from him. If you really hate the guy and what he has done to SW as much as you do then show some actual integrity and stop buying it. as much as SW was a cultural Phenom , so is the "sucker for punishment" mentality of the Lucas hater.looks like Shit, smells like shit, tastes like shit. May I have some more please?

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:04 p.m. CST

    Scratch that...

    by WickedMonster

    I hated REBEL ASSAULT. I wanted to say REBEL ASSAULT II.. Now that deserved the word awesome. <p>*Reminder: Pay 5 bucks to Michael Bay for copyright use of word... awesome.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:05 p.m. CST

    Scrappy Doo

    by ZeroCorpse

    Most people don't realize this, but the reason they hate Scrappy Doo isn't the character; It's his voice. It's the same thing for Jar-Jar Binks. <p> If Jar-Jar hadn't been voiced by Ahmed Best to sound like a fucking high-pitched cartoon animal, and if his delivery of the lines had been different, he would have been a much more tolerable character. <p> Don't believe me? <p> Imagine if Jar-Jar had Patrick Warburton's voice, with his Brock Samson delivery. Picture that voice saying the following lines: <p> "Weesa in big trouble." <p> "Gungans no likin' outsiders." <p> See? Instantly better. I'm not saying his is the best voice for it, but that the voice makes a huge difference in how an animated character is taken by the crowd. <p> It's the Scrappy-Doo principle. Scrappy's voice made everyone cringe, but his behavior wasn't all that different from half the cast of Scooby-Doo or the other Saturday morning cartoons. The voice actor's delivery was just TERRIBLE and made you HATE Scrappy. <p> Here's another test, again with Patrick Warburton's voice as done for Brock Samson. Picture Scrappy's lines below said in Patrick's voice: <p> "Yeah. Puppy power." <p> "We'll get `em uncle Scooby. We'll rough `em up." <p> "Shaggy! Scooby! Over here!" <p> See? Again, you change the voice and the words are suddenly not as annoying. <p> Think of Jar-Jar with different voices. How about if he had Casey Kasem's Shaggy voice? What if they got Nathan Lane to play him? Would he sound better if his voice were provided by Billy West (Fry, Stimpy)? <p> Jar-Jar was a decent enough character, and he was necessary to the story at certain points (they needed an innocent, naive fool to "do what he thought Padme would" in the Senate.) -- I believe that 90% of the hate for Jar-Jar comes from the voice-over work being so terrible. <p> One more experiment: <p> Picture if they had Christopher Lee do the voice of Jar-Jar, and had Ahmed Best do the voice of Dooku. <p> Don't you think you'd fucking HATE Dooku?

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:07 p.m. CST

    Lucas plays with dummies

    by fartedinthefaceofhollywood

    George Lucas is a ventriloquist.....NOT a director. He puts his stupid-ass words in the mouths of actors....and they look equally stupid doing it.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:12 p.m. CST

    You want annoying characterization in Star Wars?

    by ZeroCorpse

    You should read the most recent book series in the EU. It was downright stupid and insulting to the readers. Half of it was a highlander romance novel in which the highlanders were replaced by Mandalorians, and the other half was a pathetic waste of a good character and Sith Lord. <p> That series made me sick of reading Star Wars novels, that's for sure. I know I'll never read a series involving Karen Traviss again, anyway.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:12 p.m. CST

    ha! I'm not alone!

    by mrdinky

    quote from the SPOILER section of the article: "There's no 20th Century Fox logo, which feels weird. Then there's no opening-title crawl, which feels weirder. Instead, a breathless narrator brings us up to speed with a verbal recap so gung-ho, I thought for a second that it was going to end up being a "Starship Troopers"-style propaganda newsreel."<p> I thought exactly the same thing when I was watching this earlier today: wtf? happened to the title crawl followed by...are they doing this STARSHIP TROOPERS style or are they serious? <p> for the record, I'm fine with this. it's exactly what it is: a saturday morning cartoon thrown on the big screen, and frankly, it IS more watchable than TPM or AotC, if for no other reason than you can get away with a whole lot less scripting polish with a cartoon than you can in live action. although the SAMURI JACK style series remains the best thing to come out of the prequels BY FAR.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:13 p.m. CST

    Oh noes! you mean Lucas makes money off Star Wars? Heaven forbid

    by TallBoy66

    Why, better lock the whole goddamn universe up then if he makes cash of it. Yeah, that seems like a good excuse. Right. Sure.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:16 p.m. CST

    Never saw either of them, Boothe

    by snuffleupurass

    Didn't interest me. I only watched the Boba Fett cartoon from the Holiday Special too. My main interest in Star Wars was always the production design and even the prequels were great in that regard.<br><br>Other than that I really don't care much. I just find AICN TBs to be entertaining, especially about Star Wars.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:19 p.m. CST

    Personally I think THX-1138

    by smackfu

    is a dystopian masterpiece. Whenever I watch it I have a hard time believing that something that deep came from him considering how light the rest of his material is. And full of subtle nuance, with information being implied rather than delivered in exposition. I absolutely loved how the society had reduced all the human needs to their most basic, fundamental form, the bare minimum necessary to maintain mental health. Our need for violence and to laugh at others expense reduced to it's most pure form - a tv channel showing nothing but a man getting beaten relentlessly by police. And our need to aquire material wealth reduced to shopping for useless colored cubes in a store that sold nothing but colored cubes. Our need for God, redemption and judgment supplied by a booth with an automated 'Zoltan' type amalgam of reglious figures. Pure genius, I can't believe it was Lucas.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:19 p.m. CST

    As far as I'm concerned

    by Larry of Arabia

    The series started at "A New Hope" and ends at "Return of the Jedi" with Knights of the Old Republic games as sort of a fun little sidetrack. I'm fortunate to be able to erase from my mind bad sequel/prequels that don't add or aren't integral to the story. Some people aren't that fortunate, but I urge you to try. Life is much more fun when you just don't acknowledge the existence of some things. See, in my movie world Ripley is living happily with Newt, Neo is fighting for freedom inside The Matrix, Superman has no son, and Star Trek: The Motion Picture as well as V, VII, and Insurrection just never happened.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:24 p.m. CST

    "You should read the most recent book series in the EU"

    by smackfu

    I can't read EU books because I have at least a shred of respect for literature. I have a strong suspicion that the people who read starwars/startrek fiction are the same people who populate the internet with drawings of Simpsons characters having sex with furries and things like that.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:29 p.m. CST

    "Maori cosplay boy band"

    by LaserPants

    HAHA! Noice! Great article here DuPont, thanks for putting it together and providing the links. Cheers!

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:29 p.m. CST

    Usually I very violently disagree with everything you say...

    by PirateEmery

    But you hit the nail on the head with this review, Alexandra. Your comment on the "death" of Asajj Ventress was truly awe-inspiring.<p> As the Cannon of Star Wars goes, both TV shows are wrong. Asajj was "killed" by Anakin on Coruscant after she found out about Padme but was later secretly healed by the Separatists and managed to escape both the Republic and the CIS and should be now living out her life elsewhere. That's the actual cannon.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:31 p.m. CST

    EU is fine.

    by ZeroCorpse

    I read EU (used to, anyway), but I also read classics, nonfiction, scifi, horror, drama, mystery, and other genres. I used to sell books for a living, and I even attended school with the intention of being a librarian (briefly, anyway). <p> No, I don't like furries, nor do I get into Simpsons orgies. <p> You're thinking of Buffy fans and Whedonites, I think. Or maybe those weirdos who read manga.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:32 p.m. CST

    Agreed WickedMonster

    by CloneRangerUK

    Rebel Assault 2 is the most original Star Wars-ey feeling product since the Original Trilogy by far - I do keep going back to it every so often, just to top up on that old school vibe!

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:32 p.m. CST

    smackfu, right on about THX-1138

    by snuffleupurass

    Lucas did bring his own voice to some derivative ideas.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:34 p.m. CST

    "Lucas can't write dialogue"

    by Powers Boothe

    Go look at those Buck Rogers and Flash Gordon serials from the late 1930s and you'll see what Lucas had in mind when he scripted most of that stiff dialogue style in the SW films. It's deliberate folks!

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:37 p.m. CST


    by smackfu

    Wow man. <br><br> The 'actual canon' is what's up on the screen. The rest if fanfic. Just because some dweeb with no more license to say what did or did not happen in the Star Wars universe than you or I got paid to write it, doesn't mean it's not fanfic.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:37 p.m. CST


    by CloneRangerUK

    You are refering to the Dark Horse comics. It had already been established at the time that the DK comics story and the animated Tartakovsky version were seperate continuity.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:39 p.m. CST

    Sorry Meant DH not DK....

    by CloneRangerUK

    ...suffering from Dark Knight overload!

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:41 p.m. CST

    Original Han Solo Dialogue Is HILARIOUSLY Awful

    by LaserPants

    From the Secret History of Star Was article, Kasdan mentioned how awful Lucas' scripts were, wit this nugget of spectacularly AWFUL dialogue used as an example...<br><br> Han Solo: "Don't worry, I'm not going to kiss you here. You see, I'm quite selfish about my pleasure, and it wouldn't be much fun for me now."<br><br> George Lucas actually wrote this. He's that bad. He's that dumb. After reading that article, I am convinced, more than ever before, that Lucas' entire fortune rests on a HUGE amount of luck, and luck only.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:45 p.m. CST

    long review for a bad movie

    by Rupee88

    there's no way I'm reading all that...a simple "it totally sucks" would have sufficed.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:52 p.m. CST

    smells like dooku to me...

    by porn_flakes

    you know, in portuguese "dooku" sounds like "from the ass". they actually changed the subtitles here in brazil to "Count Dookan", so people would not laugh at the theaters... (ok, my english is not so good...but you got it.)

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:54 p.m. CST

    I don't think anyone with half a brain

    by snuffleupurass

    disputes the intent of Lucas' on the nose dialogue. But there is a huge difference between what he put on paper in 1977 from what he penned between 1999 and 2005. Phantom Menace is full of so much stilted and on the nose dialogue that I can't watch it without laughing.<br><br> There was also an earnestness to the performances in the OT that is gone in the prequels. Without that the bad writing just falls flat on its face.<br><br>Look, if you like the prequels than that's great. I couldn't care less what movies other people like or don't like. All I know is that I didn't like the prequels and I have little interest in the Clone Wars. But if you look objectively at what was written 30 years ago and what was written recently you'll see a drop in quality.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 6:11 p.m. CST

    Thats What I Did, M-O-M!

    by LaserPants

    Saw TDK in IMAX again instead earlier today. I continue to love the film and can't wait for the super deluxxxe dvd explosion of awesome that is no doubt coming our way...

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 6:30 p.m. CST

    You all are off you ROCKER!

    by Bhaald

    listen up ya twats, this movie is for kids!!! who do not know much if any of the star wars universe ya dweebs are crazy over. It is a money making opening for a kids television show. now i love the orginal movies and hated the latest 3, but jesus H. christ all this bitch'n about the clone wars is crazy! understand that this movie is NOT for you losers and for a new generation of kids. which from what i hear enjoy'd the movie. So it sucks? for 20, 30 , something dorks, sure it sucks ass but for the new generation of kids , its a pretty fun movie with a descent to fun show to follow , alright so STFU and move on! HANZO THE RAZOR FTW (yea im drunk , wanna fight about iT!)

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 6:30 p.m. CST

    Where Lucas Went Wrong...

    by victor82

    No one's interested in Prequels. There was an entire universe to be mined after ROTJ. Lucas didn't. He got intellectually lazy.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 6:32 p.m. CST

    i know Memoirs

    by fartedinthefaceofhollywood

    oh im aware of the intentionally sloppy dialogue and acting of the star wars films, but some how, some way he made it EVEN WORSE in the prequels. the acting in the original trilogy had a intensity to it, a certain energy that was simply nowhere to be found in Episodes 1 and started to show in Episode 3 but by then, it was too late. carrie fisher, mark hamill, and harrison ford....while not necessarily stoked playing the characters and saying the lines sure did a good job of making it seem like they were having fun...but aside from Ewan McGregor, who is the only actor in the prequels to seem interested and "alive" about what he was doing, everyone else (judging from facial expressions and line execution)acted as though George Lucas arm was so far up their butts he could reach their jaws and move their mouths for them, hence him being a ventriloquist.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 6:44 p.m. CST

    You know what the worst part about all this is?

    by brokentusk

    No matter how much we all bitch, moan, cry, or debate – George Lucas isn't hearing or seeing any of it. He doesn't care what we think, he doesn't care how we feel, and he certainly doesn't understand where we're coming from. No, Lucas thinks all is right with world and that he is every bit the visionary the world claims that he is (when in fact he has gone from being a visionary to a mediocre director with more money than Jesus). That's what drives me up the wall, for all our discussion on the matter, for all our suggestions as to how this franchise should be steered… nothing will change because Lucas doesn't want to listen.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 6:49 p.m. CST

    Smells like Dooku, or was that EWOK SHIT I SMELL???

    by Dark Doom

    Fuckin Lucas! Creates classics and then then threatens us with "N-Synch" Jedi? Come on George even you knew this was shit! WTF happened to Lucas Arts quality control? Somebody die on the fucking job?

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 7:02 p.m. CST

    How bizarre that Star Trek has eclipsed Star Wars in quality.

    by Royston Lodge

    Before Episode One, the rabid Star Wars fan (I too amongst them) would scoff at any Trekkie who tried to explain why Roddenberry et al had "vision" while Lucas' work was "kids' stuff". And yet, at its VERY worst (Star Trek V: The Final Frontier), Star Trek never created this much pain, suffering, and hatred in the hearts of its fans. After all, half the FUN of Star Trek is all about nit-picking at its flaws. What makes Star Trek REALLY different from Star Wars is that AFTER #5, the producers heard the message loud-and-clear that cheap-ass fx, bad costumes, and storylines that would make sense as an episode for TOS but have no place on the big screen, are not a good way to keep the money flowing. They learned their lesson, and the went on to redeem themselves with Star Trek VI, which I STILL say is just-as-good-if-not-better than Wrath of Khan. George Lucas on the other hand, after the fans tore their own clothes and set themselves on fire (metaphorically-speaking) with despair after The Phantom Menace, learned nothing. He went on to continue making unadulterated crap. So now, for the first time, I'm looking forward to JJ Abrams' Star Trek FAR MORE than I'll look forward to even hearing the name of "George Lucas".

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 7:03 p.m. CST

    No One asked Alexandra the most important question?

    by Xiphos_2

    Which is truly surprising to me. I guess I'll be the one to ask. What kind of porn does your friend turn out?

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 7:04 p.m. CST

    Bhaald here's why you're 100% wrong

    by smackfu

    It's been pointed out quite a few times, there are scores of 'kids movies' out there that are of quality, that written well, aren't dumb, have heart, and have a good sense of humor. All this film has to offer is pretty colors. It's the cinematic equivilant of a mobile. Lucas fails.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 7:04 p.m. CST

    Christopher Lee

    by Shoegeezer

    Let's not forget that Lee is one of the few good things about this. I remember in AOTC, he was the only person who could imbue the crummy dialogue handed to him with a bit of integrity and meaning. If only a few others had followed his lead. Even Clone Wars becomes a better movie when Lee's voice is heard, the rest is just noise. There was one joke in the movie that made me laugh, when Ziro shouts "Run!" then slowly starts sliding across the floor.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 7:11 p.m. CST

    It's the SUPER FRIENDS of the Star Wars universe.

    by Bob Cryptonight

    That's about all it is. Crappy. Boring DESPITE the action. And it is obviously aimmed at children ONLY. The theater I saw it in was FILLED with kids and they loved it! So what? George has made it clear many many times that it's all about his ego and the $$$$ return on his ego. It's funny to me that Harry and Moriarty can work themselves up into a frenzy about something that is IN KEEPING with it's creator's vision.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 7:47 p.m. CST

    Is it truly necessary...

    by infinite_zero00

    To use "fag" in this review? I don't see the N-word used in any reviews on this site, but it's still perfectly acceptable to insult gay people.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 7:54 p.m. CST

    Ms. Dupont...

    by bunksteve

    If your terrible, terrible depression hasn't lifted by the time you get this message, I offer a professional cuddling service. No games, no... uhh... gropes, no problem. Then again... if you could make it through "X-files: I Want to Believe This Movie Isn't Really Happening" without my service...

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 7:55 p.m. CST

    I didn't get duped on this one from Lucas

    by romanocc

    I admit I was juiced for each prequel, even after Episode I & II. I really thought Lucas would hit a homerun with Episode III, but it was more like a long single, that I tried to stretch into a double and got tagged out. This is the first time in my 31 year fandom of SW that I could care less about what is on the horizon. I am not going this weekend, not for the reason of just sending a message to Lucas, although I wish people would. I am not going CAUSE I JUST DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THIS! and it looks so cheesy and is marketed to little kids. I can't believe there is something going on in the SW universe, and I am not there, as I finally smartened up and realized the shit has been trending downward since the SE, and in some ways it really started with my beloved ROTJ. As Tony Soprano said about Uncle Junior, "Star Wars is dead to me." May 25, 1977-August 15, 2008.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 8:05 p.m. CST

    Anyone else ever play ROGUE SQUADRON?

    by eXcommunicated

    Now that was an awsome game! :D

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 8:06 p.m. CST

    George lucus got lost in his assholeness

    by DwayneHoover

    I read the starwars books quite frequently, and have to say, why would George lucas continue to rehash his crappy second trilogy story line, when there are so many great books done by great authors. Shadows of the Empire by Steve Perry, would have made a great cartoon. Or the Nights of the old republic comic series, set three thousand years before starwars, where brother has to kill brother and there is plenty of darkness and death with cool characters. It is as if George is trying to say to the people that hated the newer trilogy, that "hey maybe you didn't like it because you didn't get it." Well fuck you george we got it! We got it so much that we hated ourselves for standing in line at midnight, waiting to see something that used to fill our minds with wonder. The newer trilogy, which was an overty timely political piece of garbage, blantly threw the idea in our face of, "this is what happens when government goes bad," kind of bullshit. Fuck you again George, for not being able to hide your mediocre view of the world, a little better. Need I say that he so did not get Anikin right (who was his own creation). He did not show the jealosy, and compitition and darkness and power hungryness and fear, or what ever makes a person turn into a monster. It is as if he never studied human behavior before. His lack of insight, comes from locking himself away in that good damn skywalker ranch and never leaving it. He forgot what real people are like. He surronds himself with yes men. He needs harrison ford to come back and yell at him some more. He needs pot to smoke. He needs to feed the birds and let his mind wonder. He needs to make a film that will not sell toys, but will disturb the viewer into realizing that the world and universe are a fucked up place. He needs to feel pain to live again. Howard Hughes became an asshole for a reason. He lived in stasis (what the fuck am I talking about). George (howard Hughes) Lucas, now lives in stasis in california. His beard has grown into his brain and dissolved all creativity. His fat jowles have choked off the oxygen that once fueled a special flame. Let David fincher direct a starwars movie, written by chuck palaniak, or someone else that understands the depths of a soul. Bring back Jack Karowac from the dead and let him write Anakins story. Let Dean Moriarty (Karowacs friend, not film nerd) play the part of Anikin. No more toys. No more toys. No more toys.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 8:16 p.m. CST

    The T-1000 has replaced Mulder as far as SW is concerned

    by I Dunno

    It's finally happened for me. I'll rent it, sure but there's nothing left to look forward to with Star Wars. Or Star Trek. Or Indiana Jones. Or Aliens. Or Predator. Or Die Hard. Or Rambo. Or The X-Files. Oh well, I guess maybe I should go outside.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 8:17 p.m. CST

    I hope this doen't take away from Force unleashed

    by Phategod1

    IT looks like a stellar Game.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 8:34 p.m. CST

    GL made the original Star Wars for $10 mil

    by nyj_et

    ..and while I thought THX 1138 was pretty boring, I love the ending. Lucas' analogy for the established studio method of filmmaking. (SPOILER FOR A 30+ YEAR OLD MOVIE BELOW) Robot cops abandon their pursuit of THX because is was going over-budget. What was wrong with the 2-D Clone Wars cartoon?

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 8:36 p.m. CST

    'This smells like Count DOOKY

    by Prossor


  • Aug. 15, 2008, 8:43 p.m. CST

    AICN have realised..

    by afraidoffans

    ..crazed Talkbakers can be distracted with negative Clone Wars and Lucas Stories. So they are going to run with such shit every day.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 8:45 p.m. CST

    My God...this talkback is STILL going strong!

    by conspiracy

    The hate runs deep...and rightly so. Lucas is Narcissism defined, and hasn't released quality since Marcia stopped editing his shit, dumped him, and led to his seeing this creation as the cause of her leaving his triple chinned ass.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 9:03 p.m. CST

    The hate may run deep here...

    by afraidoffans

    But does it run as deep in the real world? So far no. As many (so called) massive internet movie movements few have had any effect. The prequels were supposed to be terrible yet people who like them and likewise those who say they hate them watch them over and over. Snakes on a Plane was heavily influenced by interenet idea and it flopped big time. However let's see how Clone Wars does. I'd laugh my tits of (even the third nipple) if it was a success despite the TB's who think they represent the world opinon but likewise I wouldn't mind seeing Lucas finally getting a bit of a kick to remind him he sometimes (most of the time) needs help to make a good movie...especially in the dialogue areas. Either way I win!! Way to be me!

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 9:12 p.m. CST


    by aestheticity

    bored at work recently, or back on the site? More reviews in the last couple months than the last couple years.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 9:18 p.m. CST

    afraidoffans..unfortunately no...

    by conspiracy

    The real world is run by the 75% 100IQ or lower base; ya know the same folks that paid to see Norbit, Vote every election because they think there is a difference, watch NASCAR AND WWE, and allowed shit like you see on the MSM to rule the airwaves. The people on here just have higher expectations than Joe/Josephina Six Pack... thats all.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 9:19 p.m. CST

    Where's the guy who lambasted me when this was announced

    by bah

    and I said Lucas was duping people into paying for a TV pilot?

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 9:20 p.m. CST

    by The Mothman

    Reading that interview with Gary Kurtz was like going upriver to find out what happened to Marlon Brando. I always thought Jedi was an OK watch, but after finding out what they had planned...well, as Kurtz puts it, it comes off like a Star Wars rehash with better effects. A long, fascinating interview with a real straight shooter.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 9:24 p.m. CST

    aestheticity, heres my take

    by romanocc

    The internet are the extremes of SW fans, the ones that gush and gush over everything Lucas does, and the ones who truly hate the man. IMO, the majority of SW fans, including all of my friends who never posted on the internet about SW, thought the Prequels were OK, but have honestly moved on, and just think the OT is as great as it ever was, with Jedi being #3 out of the bunch. The reason the Prequels made so much money was because anyone who fell in love with the OT was going to see the story out no matter how bad it got. That how much Lucas had us after 1983. I dont know one person seeing the Clone Wars movie this weekend, because this doesn't have an Episode # 1,2,3, so in a sense, we are free to walk away from SW, and everyone I know did this weekend. The Clone Wars movie will make money, but will NOT make anything near the Prequels, because most OT fans have taken pass, as they realize SW is past its prime. Again, these people I know don't hate the Prequels, don't hate Lucas, don't think he raped their childhood, they just don't care anymore cause the Prequels just don't hold any replay value the same way the OT did.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 9:29 p.m. CST

    What's the point of complaining anymore?

    by Orionsangels

    Lucas says in every interview. "I'm gonna make the movies I want." Fuck everyone else. That's the bottom line.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 9:35 p.m. CST

    Orionsangels..Because it is FUN!!

    by conspiracy

    Actually, the TB is more FUN than any of Lucas recent releases.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 9:48 p.m. CST

    just got back from seeing it

    by skiff

    wow it was kinda like the clone wars series but with better everything.It was pretty much what I thought it would be. I thought it was harmless and could see how you get detached from the story it all went so fast. I loved all the spaceship stuff I thought it was stunning to watch. I think I kinda liked it.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 9:53 p.m. CST

    Lucas can make the movie he wants when he wants how he wants

    by afraidoffans

    Is this why you hate him? For years fans have been fed up with execs at Hollywood controlling movies. You scream and rant saying writers and directors should make the movie they want then at least they can stand up and say, "I told the story I wanted to, here it is like it or not." Yet now we have someone who can finally do that and you don't like it one bit. You want the Star Wars YOU want, but none of you can really decided what that is. Some of you think the books would make a better SW experience but what is the guarrentee the books turned into movies would be any better? Should SW be totally reinvented and Lucas be pushed aside? Is that what you want? A re-make of IV you probably will hate? Or a sequal, an episode VII you will rip apart? Or maybe a Shadows of the Empire CGI laden affair you will be so dissapointed in you'd wish such and such had directed it or blah blah would have been the writer. It seems you don't know what you want guys. The only thing you do know is that you are angry, full of hate and have decided to target the guy who probably deserves it the least if you look into what Lucas has actually done for the movie industry and how much he's entertained us all over the last few decades. There's dictators killing millions out there who get less flak then Lucas. Sort yourselves the fuck out, grow up and start representing the ineternet community with some dignity ffs or else we'll NEVER be taken seriously. As it is you're childish attitudes will take years to repair. Your behaviour sometimes is a complete disgrace guys, just because you are 'safe' behind a keyboard doesn't mean you should act like children or show no empathy. You want your opnions to be read? You want people to listen to you? Then communicate, discuss, converse. Shouting, swearing, hating, abusing: won't get you anywhere and most people won't even read your opinion never mind consider it.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 10:04 p.m. CST

    Uhh, if you think we're ever going to be taken seriously afraido

    by The Mothman might be a bit deluded. It would be nice if we were, because I honestly think some people who talk back have ideas as good as if not better than some of the millionaires in LA. The problem I have with Lucas is that the parts of Star Wars a lot of us find appealing (you know, decent acting, passable dialogue, a sense of wonder), he almost refuses to include in his new efforts. These aren't unreasonable things to ask.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 10:05 p.m. CST

    Oh, and it was awesome fun...

    by SeXX ED

    A really cool ride of a Star Wars fix.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 10:07 p.m. CST


    by The Mothman

    A sense of wonder doesn't equal a shitload of CGI.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 10:13 p.m. CST

    Sith Witch, you are not alone.

    by StarWarsRedux

    Granted, I'm talking about the prequels, not Clone Wars. Still not sure if I'm actually going to see this. Watch it on TV, sure, but go to the theater just to watch the pilot? Gotta make up my mind.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 10:13 p.m. CST

    I think I've worked it out

    by PotSmokinAlien

    Think about it, Phantom Menace came out 10 years ago. All those kids who loved it are incredibly jaded teens now. Lucas is just going back to the well of humanity here, in a really pathetic way. "New generation = more profits to be had," seems to be the thought process.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 10:13 p.m. CST

    "General Loathsom"

    by Nasty In The Pasty

    That made me laugh out loud. Why not just name an evil character "General McNasty"?

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 10:14 p.m. CST


    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    For a movie that will never be.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 10:16 p.m. CST

    Another great review!

    by Aeghast

    You can't see me but I'm holding my two thumbs up (and typing with the nose, of course)

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 10:52 p.m. CST

    I demand a poll

    by hulkbuster

    Who else thinks that the entire franchize was better left off after ROTJ

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 10:53 p.m. CST


    by hulkbuster

    ? i forgot that

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 11 p.m. CST

    Fuck us? Pls Lucas?

    by Dark Doom

    If your gonna f@ck me in the @ss at least use prison lube and spit on your c@ck!! 12$ and up per person for this? Lucas you used to be a movies fan WTF happened? Come on dude I paid for six SW at the theatre 3 Indys, but this is just rape and not funny dog humping my leg but f@cking prison rape. Lucas we f#cking loved you man, WTF?

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 11:06 p.m. CST

    They should have gone with General Fuksuup

    by Alonzo Mosely

    That would have been a bad guy...

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 11:17 p.m. CST

    Colonel Evil

    by Prossor

    heck Dr. Evil

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 11:29 p.m. CST

    Really, everyone should have seen this coming.

    by Ironmuskrat

    I hate to say it, but Hollywood still sees anything animated as entertainment medium for kids.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 11:29 p.m. CST

    I knew it was doomed when..

    by krylite

    on the website news where Lucas pushed himself into the development of this turd and "actively" got involved with directors and animators and even started to give lessons on quote "film theory" and "how to direct a Star Wars film". If you look at making of the Lord of the Rings clips, Jackson doesn't try to give film lessons, he just does it and everyone does their job.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 11:55 p.m. CST

    If ever there was a time for Space Balls 2, its now!

    by br1947

    Hurry Mel! Go out with a bang! Damn you natural aging process, leave Mel Brooks alone, he has work to do!

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 11:55 p.m. CST

    Nice to Hear from Alexandra

    by Akira Cowabunga

    Baby, you have no idea how much you want me.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 12:01 a.m. CST

    Clone know, for kids.

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 12:45 a.m. CST

    this not a movie anyway

    by Zoinks

    I know it might be playing in theater, but that doesn't mean anything. It's 3 episodes of a tv show that's going to be on cable soon. And you know, it's for kids.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 12:51 a.m. CST

    Mel Brooks, I will write you a kickass Spaceballs 2!

    by jules windex

    "moy-chandising...moy-chandising"....seriously though, Lucas gets far too much flak for making his work or not, its successful

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 1:02 a.m. CST


    by codymr

    Right on about the imperial stormtroopers... there is a balance there - SW is kid fare, so you can't show too many good guys getting whacked, but stormtroopers handed the rebels there ass on Hoth. I think stormtroopers were also menacing because they did not say a whole lot in the OT... like Cylon Centurions in the new BSG or T-800s... you know you are in trouble when the bad guy in the room has nothing to say!

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 1:06 a.m. CST

    Plants abound

    by Chief Joseph

    And most of them seem to have the word "Sith" in their usernames. Odd.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 1:18 a.m. CST

    Powers Boothe

    by codymr

    I don't hate Lucas, I love the old fart. I love THX, Graffiti, OT, IJ, Willow, Young Indy, even the SW prequels were enjoyable when I took my little cousin to see them. That said, personally, I think I have outgrown his target audience, and that frustrates me. For a creative man who has done so much for the film industry with THX Sound, Skywalker Ranch, ILM... even PIXAR before Jobs bought it, in addition to his his film franchises, I wish he would put out some new material. I want to see these "personal art house films" he keeps talking about. Keep SW going in one form or another if it is your cash cow, but I would like to see him make other stuff like is buddies Spielberg or Scorsese... they don't hit it out of the park the way they used to, but I give them credit for keeping it interesting.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 1:25 a.m. CST

    Wait, this isn't just a video game?

    by Unnatural

    God if it was only so.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 1:31 a.m. CST

    Hey Alexandra...your cartoon avatar...

    by visceralgristle

    ...needs some work there. Not that it's bad, but it looks kinda wonky, as if it's unfinished. Maybe a re-inking and coloring touch up would do it.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 1:38 a.m. CST

    oo-fah!! 5% positive among top critics!

    by Hercules

    Kerry Lengel of The Arizona Republic is the only "top critic" not to pan it, if we're to believe Rotten Tomatoes. Lengel's concluding paragraph: <p> "If there is anyone still holding out for Lucas to finish his vision of a nine-movie cycle, The Clone Wars is not going to satisfy. But if you're willing to regress to the mental age of 12 for a couple of hours, it's an amusing ride."

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 1:52 a.m. CST

    This was fun

    by kramsnosrap

    I went in expecting a disaster based on the AICN reviews and was very pleasantly surprised. I loved it and am considering getting d-tv back so I can watch the series. The 11 year old I went with loved it as did the friends he met up with outside the theater. The baby hutt was amusing and the adults in the audience seemed to find Ziro hilariously funny. All the bitching about the dialogue seems absurd to me. Is this Mamet? Proust? It is a kids tv show and all the speakin' worked jest fine. Time for jaded old winge-bags to get out of the way and let the kids enjoy themselves. STAR WARS belongs to somebody else now. Stop your sobbing and move on!

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 2:04 a.m. CST

    Real mature, Herc.

    by StarWarsRedux

    Honestly, I think it's at least good that there's a decent action-style film out right now that you can take a kid to see. "Dark Knight" and "Hellboy" wouldn't be apropriate for most kids under 12.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 2:13 a.m. CST

    I used to loath this chicks reviews.

    by ZombieHunter

    <p>Oh god, did they ever make me cringe. But now I find they get better and better. The best review is when the writer makes a reference of some sort . . . and you totally get what they mean.</p> <p><i>Because you demanded it, Lucas shovels out loads of all-new slapstick comedy with those "Roger Roger " droids.</i></p> <p>Alexandra, I know what your 'e talking about.</p>

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 2:24 a.m. CST


    by Pop_aristocrat

    Agreed with some other posters, your reviews have been getting better with time. How long have you been a contributor here, now? I dug this review; nothing I didn't see coming, but you've got a lot of solid outside references linked in there. You really should have someone go over your logo with photoshop, though.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 3:58 a.m. CST

    Let's not bother, shall we?

    by Mr Gorilla

    I actually love Eps 2 & 3, and I hugely admire the ambition of the Prequel Trilogy - although I absolultely agree that if the human element (character, dialogue) had been handled properly, the films would have been loads better. But, fan as I am, I'm just not going to bother with this cartoon. It looks shit.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 4:49 a.m. CST

    Ebert destroyed it!

    by Orionsangels

    1/2 star and he said the human characters hair look like play-doh lol.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 4:59 a.m. CST

    Actually 'Unnatural'

    by Orionsangels

    The new SW video game is Star Wars, The Force Unleashed. It features Darth Vader & his apprentice and takes place 12 years after EPIII. Leia is a kid. The story seems to be dark and serious and yes it features Star Destroyers and Tie Fighters. This game seems to be targetting older star wars fans. While clone wars is geared for the kiddies. You can check it out here and see that while just being a game. It's a million times better than clone wars. It's canon too. Approved by Lucas. I'm actually more excited to see the story arc between EPIII and EPIV, than this boring ass clone wars crap. When Obi-Wan told Luke in SW77. Yes I was in the clone wars. Luke should have said. Oh you were in that lame war?

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 5:08 a.m. CST

    George Lucas: The Michael Jackson of Directors/Producers!!!

    by Media Messiah

    He is quite literally falling apart as a creative force, much like Michael Jackson did??? It is very sad to witness your heroes destroy everything that they created, and the good will generated therein, from what was once great. I am shocked!!! George Lucas' Never Land, is now Skywalker Ranch!!!!

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 5:12 a.m. CST

    Whiney, snot nosed & possibley single

    by McFlyWalker

    That, I think is a fair assessment of ALL the people who carp on about "Lucas raped my childhood" or "crappy dialogue". Not sure if anyone has listened to the dialogue in the originals....& I mean really listen. There are lines in there that mot children's books seem almost Shakespearian, but I digress. I'm willing to bet that at least 80% of the people hating on the prequels, games & cartoons will still watch at the cinema, buy the DVD's & associated merchandise, thereby filling the Bearded Ones coffers more. If you really wanted to make a stand for life pre-puberty, don't buy into Star Wars books, CD or Special Edition releases, no rare figures or anything. If you can't do this, accept any thing Star Wars after ROTJ for hat it is......A BIG, FUN, FUCKING KIDS STORY!!!

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 6:40 a.m. CST


    by romanocc

    I disagree with you about the crappy dialogue between the PT & OT, and I will give you some examples instead of just ranting like 90% of the people on the internet. First of all a SW movie is not Platoon or Raging Bull, so nobody is expecting Shakespeare, but there is a level of believability in the dialogue in ANH & ESB and ROTJ is where it started to get all cheesy and kiddy, so I am not some OT defender, I am really an ANH & ESB defender as they are the only really great films, and ROTJ is good enought to finish the trilogy. You have lines in TPM that Jar Jar says, "How wude!" or "Jar Jar you in deep doo doo!" That shit is written literally for a 5 year old. There are two scenes that stick out between OT Lucas and PT Lucas: In ANH when Kenobi is telling Luke about his father and the Clone Wars, right before that, C3PO says, "If you don't mind sure I am going to shut down for a while." Then Kenobi tells Luke about the past and it is one of the best scenes in the SW-lore, as it is eerie now after seeing the movies together. Fast Forward to 1999, and Padme meets Anakin for the first time in TPM in the junkyard, this should have been an iconic, yet eerie scene. What does Lucas do? He has Jar Jar doing Three Stooges Slapstick in the backround THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME! and what should be some dramatic, foreshadowing scene, cause we already saw 4-6, comes off as juvenile and is ruined by Jar Jar. Sorry man, but ANH & ESB are leagues better then the other 4 movies, and that is why the majority of the moviegoing public think they are the only decent thing out of the 6 movies. ROTJ & the PT, and the other crap are loved by fanboys.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 6:43 a.m. CST

    Media Messiah

    by Mavra Chang

    ChocolateReign would like to hear from you sometime. His address is on last Saturday's SG tb. Later!

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 6:47 a.m. CST

    Another terrific article, ADP

    by Drunken Rage

    Incidentally, the animation of "Space Chimps" is vastly superior to "Clone Wars." Yes, I admit that I saw "Space Chimps."

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 6:51 a.m. CST


    by McFlyWalker

    Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan boy. Jedi tattoo, had Darth Maul contact lenses, books, games the whole enchilada. But as a fanboy, I still recognise that they are only kid films & I get really wound up when other "fanboys" rant negatively.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 6:55 a.m. CST

    Thanks Mavra Chang

    by Media Messiah

    I looked but I could not find it, but I will try again??? I'm glad to see that you are still posting and I hope they let Chocolate continue to post as it would be a shame to lose him.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 7:07 a.m. CST

    Media Messiah

    by Mavra Chang

    It's his name at ymail dot com (and that's ymail, not yahoo ;-)). See ya around!

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 7:12 a.m. CST


    by romanocc

    I am going after you personally, as I am a fanboy too, as I can enjoy the 6 movies, but ANH & ESB are not kids movies, only with ROTJ did Lucas start gearing it for kids. Trust me I was there in 1977, the movies were made for kids to enjoy, but they were not targeted for kids under 10 like ROTJ & eventually the PT was. I walked out of the theater in 1980 as an 8 year old kid scared shitless after seeing ESB. The movie was in the tone of The Dark Knight at the time, it really wasn't made for kids, and that is why ESB is the lowest grossing OT movie, cause it wasn't as kid friendly, hence ROTJ has ewoks, more kiddy friendly tone. Lucas realized after 1980, and finally being CEO of Lucasfilm, rather being a director, that the money was in merchandising, and if he can't maximize his market share, the profits will drop off, hence why he never made a SW movie in the tone of ESB ever again, as even ROTS has enough cheese where the kiddies can watch it. Now I didn't come to this conclusion until I watched all 6 movies in the fall of '05 after I bought ROTS DVD and realized how much the tone of the series had changed in 30 years. Listen, Lucas is a genius when it comes to making money, but the guy isn't trying to put out something in the quality of The Dark Knight, he doesn't have the hunger to do it anymore, he is a businessman, and a businessmans first priority: make money.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 7:30 a.m. CST

    General Loathsom

    by kafka07


  • Aug. 16, 2008, 7:58 a.m. CST

    Sgt. Slaughter? Why so...?

    by Darkman

    Wait, that was his real fake name, right? <br><br> And "Maori cosplay boy band" cracked me up, too.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 8:08 a.m. CST

    J.J. Abrams '

    by PTSDPete


  • Aug. 16, 2008, 8:09 a.m. CST

    J.J. Abrams ' Star Wars '?

    by PTSDPete


  • Aug. 16, 2008, 8:09 a.m. CST

    J.J. Abrams ' Star Wars '?

    by PTSDPete

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 8:09 a.m. CST

    J.J. Abrams ' Star Wars '?

    by PTSDPete


  • Aug. 16, 2008, 8:13 a.m. CST

    I mean, it

    by PTSDPete

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 8:34 a.m. CST

    "I would totally poop Froot Loops"

    by TiNSeLToWN TeRRoR

    Was this from the movie? Alexandra DuPont=AHSOKA.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 9:27 a.m. CST

    I enjoyed as did my kids Aged 10&12

    by j2talk

    and the kids are who this movie is made for...At the end of the day, good review or bad, I'll be seeing the movie. I am in the camp that says any Star Wars is better than no Star Wars....there have always been issues-some minor, some major-with the various films- not mention the novels and comics-but for the most part the overall story has been enjoyable and worth seeing, reading and sharing with my children the real problem with the Star Wars prequels and the clone wars is not what they were but what fans wanted them to be.... I mean I am still hoping to see Han Solo's Revenge and Han Solo at Stars'End on the big screen.... Fans have had so many visions of what they wanted to see NOTHING could have lived up to the i enjoyed the films and the final 30 min of ROTS gave me what I had been waiting for since '79 and it was first mentioned that Darth Vader fell into a lava pit battling Ben Kenobi and thats why he was in that suit.....

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 9:28 a.m. CST

    Yes, it's a merchandizing clusterfuck. But....

    by PTSDPete

    .... I think something much worse is happening here. I think we're seeing the whole merchandizing behemoth is evolving PAST its fanbase in all the worst ways; it's passing through a second, abysmal stage where it's deliberately, instead of just simply churning out product across the assembly line - selling to new demographics to either net or to be netted by. Miley Cyrus bullshit infiltrating these most storied and hermetic of forms is just bad sign, and not just for the Star Wars herd. We are clearly not far from an ACTUAL " Hannah Montana "-ized Star Wars TV series, or a Peter Segal Episode 4,5,6 remake ! God help us all. They're not just apparently gutting people's childhood's memories; they're turning the property down into bland junkfood. Somehow I don't think the fandom is what's sustaining their need to churn out their crap anymore.... Between that disgusting PG-13 rating, and this, that's the sort of four-quadrant, corporatized unravelling of entertainment we're witnessing here. We're holding out hope that ' The Dark Knight ' will gnaw their system off, but that one sorts of prop up the PG-13 thing, too...

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 9:35 a.m. CST


    by McFlyWalker

    "coming after you personaly" & "ESB dark in the tone of the Dark Knight"?? I don't log into talkbacks to go toe to toe, but man....really!! Yes, ESB is dark, but more in the tone of LOTR:Two Towers, where the middle act is supposed to leav you feeling pity & horror, hoping that the hero can prevail. I'm not interested in a war of words, debate on views or throwing verbal faeces back & forth, so let's just leave it at that shall we?

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 9:51 a.m. CST

    So... Is this Du Pont Girl hot???

    by Dreamseller

    Anyone can tell?

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 9:55 a.m. CST

    How did we go from Clone Wars to talking about the samscranch

    by smackfu

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 10:13 a.m. CST

    "Dark Knight" and "Hellboy" wouldn't be apropriate for most kids

    by smackfu

    Try to think back and remember what movies you saw before you were twelve, that would seem inappropriate to you now. Movies I saw before I was 12 years old: The Terminator, Red Dawn, V the Miniseries, Nightmare on Elm St, Friday 13th Part 4, Rambo, Aliens, Poltergeist, Lethal Weapon, Predator, Robocop. Your under-twelve kid can go see Dark Knight. It's spongebob compared to the things we watched when we were under twelve. Trust me. Not only will he be rocked by it, it will change him for the better. If you give them a taste of *real* movies early on, the only repercussion is they grow up with better taste in films. When all the other teenagers are watching stupid sophomoric comedies and teen films, your kid will be watching the Godfather and Fight Club.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 10:18 a.m. CST

    Too late to give Star Wars to PIXAR???

    by Drath

    Clearly their creative collaboritave environment is what Star Wars needed in the late 90s and still needs today. Of course, they don't need Star Wars, and I fear the day the become what Lucas has become--although CARS 2 is a step in that direction.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 10:40 a.m. CST

    A PIXAR Helmed STAR WARS Film Would Be PERFECT

    by LaserPants

    Seeing as how the fine men and women at PIxar now how to make GREAT films that BOTH Children AND Adults can enjoy. They manage to be pretty freaking popular and marketable too, so, even on that tip, they beat Lucas. What I don't get is that Lucas has the power to hire pretty much anyone, and he could start farming this stuff out to TALENTED people who actually care about his mythos (cause he surely doesn't and neither do his cronies / flunkies / yes-men), AND be able to make a hot mint toy marketing the shit out of all of it as well, but instead he does... this? It's just so dumb, such a waste.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 11:04 a.m. CST

    Why all the Scriptgirl hate?

    by Denty420

    I think it's jealousy. Although some men on here probably have bigger mammories than her.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 11:07 a.m. CST


    by mgibson72

    Decided to post here since Ms. DuPont is the only 'reviewer' on this site that actually has the chops to debate the merits of this flick rather than simply publish venom while frothing at the mouth. 1) I am the first one to admit that I am among the fallen when it comes to Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sith. Sith really punched that final nail in the coffin for me. 2) I finally was able to take my son to a SW premiere yesterday. 3) We thoroughly enjoyed it and it was because of something the final two prequels SORELY lacked: fun. Yes, it was FUN. There was lame humor, banter between characters, exotic locales, space fights and lots and lots of robots. This isn't a religion, folks. It's entertainment. If you don't like this then head across the hall at your multiplex and go see that really dark Batflick that apparently everyone loves so much. Clone Wars is meant for eight-year-olds. If you all take half a step back, you'll see that the original Star Wars was meant for eight-year-olds as well. Luckily for me, I had an eight-year-old yesterday when I saw this movie and I was very grateful to see the movie through the eyes of its intended.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 12:03 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Really? Wow.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 12:29 p.m. CST

    Time to.....

    by the1980mutant

    ......Go see The Dark Knight again. While I am in the theater I will run in the Clone Wars showing and piss on the screen.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 12:43 p.m. CST


    by romanocc

    Dude, Star Wars in 1977 was not meant for 8 year old, and I am getting sick of this revisionism. 8 year olds latched on and enjoyed it, including myself, but Lucas marketed the movie at ComicCon that year, which the main target audience at the time was older teenagers who were scifi/comic book fans. If you watch the original Star Wars, and want to compare it to some cheesy cartoon movie that came out this weekend, I think you need to watch the original again. I have no problem that the Clone Wars movie is made for children, and I have no problem that parents can enjoy this movie with their kids, but please don't come here and spout off that The Original Star Wars was a kids movie, because it wasn't. You had 2 burning skeletons, you had Han blow Greedo away at point blank, you had the Empire destroy a whole planet, and you had a serious tone throughout the movie with a good mix of humor that made for a movie that appealed to everyone back in 1977. Did you ever notice that ESB is a darker, more adult movie in 1980, cause Lucas still had some balls back then, until ROTJ came around and SW was his cash cow and we haven't seen anything great since, because he is now making the movies for kids.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 12:53 p.m. CST

    There's Something About Schindler

    by cowbellfever

    How about a Schindler's List sequel? Would probably be more entertaining than this pointless exercise sounds...

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 12:55 p.m. CST

    Hilarious! Near-riot at screening last night!

    by Biggie Kaiju

    This is priceless. I went to a late show around 10:30. The place was only about half-full, but the crowd were die-hards. Myriad mouth-breathers (one even with a lightsaber; I shit you not. There is someone who loves it so much that he even brought his lightsaber to opening night for this Clone Wars shit) were milling about. Even a few young fathers with young kids. It was like I was on the scene for the last stand of the Star Wars fanboys. The movie began, and the sucking started right away. Astoka or Ashtoka or Asstoke or whatever the fuck managed to go whine-for-whine with Anakin. The "Jar Jar groans" became more apparent among the audience, reaching their zenith with the Holiday Special-level Ziro the Hutt. Jabba was always one of my favorite characters; thanks for pissing all over that too, George. Jackass. Anyway, the anger level grew as the movie explored further depths of Ewok-suckage. At the credits, and I haven't seen this since a Saturday matinee of "Batman and Robin," the patrons began chucking their snacks at the screen. One porky fatass tossed like a 150 oz soda that splattered the screen. And yes, one unsatisfied customer even gave us a shout of "FUCK GEORGE LUCAS!" as he bounded down the aisle stairs, stomping his feet dramatically before slamming the door before any of us could get to our feet. Walking out, there were nonstop murmurs all the way from 1999-esque "Phantom Menace" I-guess-I-enjoyed-it-but-in-a-year-I'll-see-it's-really-a-load-of-shit down to shaking heads and declarations of George Lucas' insanity. You've got some pissed-off fans, GL. I think you just slammed the last nail in the coffin. That is until the TV show. Jesus Christ, why? WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY?!

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 1:07 p.m. CST

    Biggie Kaiju

    by Powers Boothe

    Really? You really expect us to believe your post?

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 1:08 p.m. CST


    by Earthquake WestCoast

    I had a better time watching THE CLONE WARS than I did the prequels! What's really sad is that the cgi characters of Anikan, Obi-Wan, and Ashoka had MORE PERSONALITY and ACTED MORE HUMAN than the real actors in the prequels. Wow! Lucas must REALLY suck as a director. btw.....the TEENAGE GIRL Jedi was great! She brought a playfullness that was lacking from the prequels. The originals were lighthearted and fun, something the prequels did not have.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 1:20 p.m. CST

    Thanks Biggie that was amusing

    by G100

    Though I don't personally go in for the absurd hate levels it's fairly fucking obvious there was something special about the original that wasn't just the nostalgia of now older viewers.<p> <p>It's the sheer amount of inventive imagination that was flung onto the screen and the prequels simply didn't have it.<p> <p>But for all that I didn't loathe them just thought "what a shame" and moved on.<p> <p>This Clone Wars seems to be a triumph of cereal advertising filmmaking with "kooky" characters and messy, noisy artless storytelling.<p> <p>Saying "but it's for Kids" is a kneejerk response that excuses any old rubbish if you stick a low enough age recommendation on it. Plenty of Kids shows and films manage to be good. Quality doesn't have an age limit.<p> <p>On the plus side since this crap will make money regardless of how bad it is perhaps other studios will try to create some more science fiction that might actually be worth watching.<p> <p>On the minus of course as has been said ad-nauseum because this will make money Lucasfilm will carry on oblivious and keep churning this kind of tedious shit out.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 1:40 p.m. CST

    you guys crack me up

    by muddstick

    How can you say SW wasn't marketed to kids? As someone who saw the originals in theatre way back in the day I remember the merchandising machine well. I think myself and every kid I knew had plenty of things with the Star Wars brand on it. The machine was rolling well before Jedi. Ever hear of Pauline Kael the film critic? She and others took Lucas to task about this way back when. Of course we, the kids who grew up on SW didn't even notice. That's because we ate that shit up. It was so ingrained into a generations head that everytime they heard the SW theme or the swoosh of a lightsaber it triggered a response. The response was to pull out your money and hand it over. That GL is an evil genius. So the prequels come along and surprise, it's marketed to kids. The machine keeps rolling. Oh sure, he didn't forget his older fans. He threw them a few crumbs, but over all, the prequels were made for another generation. A generation that GL thought was all about video games and Sponge Bob. I wouldn't say GL raped your childhood. He's more like the dad that dumped your mom and got remarried. He spoils his new family and can't always remember to send the monthly child support check to your mom. And ten years after the fact, after the Phantom Menace, you're all still here bitching and whining about your "daddy" issues. Give it up, move on. Plenty of other stuff to spend your money on. You ain't getting that old magic back. But, your conditioned aren't ya. I can see the commercial for the live action show. A few bars of John Williams music. The hum of a lightsaber. Oh, you'll all be glued to the t.v. the first night won't you.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 1:55 p.m. CST


    by romanocc

    The movies that came out of that time period: late 70's/early 80's from that genre, were not written for kids that talked down to people like alot of summer movies today. Superman:The Movie, Back to the Future, Star Wars, Empire, Raiders, all of these movies were popular among kids myself, yet if you watch them today, they are not written specifically for kids, or there is not one character like Jar Jar that is MADE for kids. It doesn't have to be blood and gore to be considered a movie not made for kids. All of these movies are all written on an adult level that kinds goes right over your head as a kid (aka the Cave Scene in ESB) but they still have magical quality that kids at the time could enjoy. Now the movies are either/or. Either they pander to kids like The Clone Wars where they are specifically targeted for them, or they not made for kids like The Dark Knight, as there is no middle ground anymore.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 2 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    But love their talkbacks! But why did Morbid waste a perfectly good soda on the screen?

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 2:10 p.m. CST

    And the round the block queues of Adults for SWs ?

    by G100

    Sorry but the idea that the only people who were amazed by Star Wars when it appeared was a bunch of 7 year olds is complete horseshit.<p> <p>Look at any News footage of the time. It was a Phenomenon. Housewives went to see it. Grandparents took their grandkids. Blue collar workers stood in line with "sophistecated" Manhattanites. And it certainly wasn't because the public loves science fiction Movies. Now repeat that Worldwide and the idea that that Star Wars was only a smash because of droves of kids just doesn't hold water and never did.<p> <p>But please don't let the facts get in the way of the same tired theory I have heard trying to excuse the prequels since BEFORE they appeared.<p> <p>As for Imagination I'll let your complete absence of examples tell it's own story but would point out that of the Good in the prequels (and there was some just not much) despite the most advanced effects company in the World it simply didn'y have the "awe" the first series produced.<p> <p>Imagination is obvious when you see it on screen and it's often startling. LOTR had it Pans Labyrinth & Hellboy 2 has it too.<p> <p>It doesn't always ensure a smash of SW's proportions but when there's none there you can throw as much technology and decent actors as you like at a film and it simply won't work.<p> <p>The prequels simply aren't in the same class as the originals.<p> <p>Yeah it's a pretty redundant statement but it doesn't make it any less true because fanboys foam at the mouth over it.<p> <p>The original Star Wars were a phenomenon and justly so.<p> <p>No amount of retrospective attempting to belittle them will ever change that.<p> <p>And No I'm not a fanboy. But nice try.<p> <p>It's a cheap straw man attack that shows how confident you are of your argument. There are plenty of examples of Fanboys in this and all the other threads so if you still have trouble telling the difference perhaps you shouldn't put so much weight on anyone disagreeing with your trite assemsment being a fanboy.<p> <p>Or did you fail to actually read my post ? I respect good filmmaking but simply ceased to care much about Lucas after the prequels. Fanboys can't and won't EVER let the prequels go.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 2:14 p.m. CST

    And Yes TDK & Wall*E had imagination in spades

    by G100

    It isn't a dying commodity it's always been there but it makes all the fucking difference.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 2:19 p.m. CST

    Only the original Star Wars had real imagination, technically

    by StarWarsRedux

    Each subsequent sequel or prequel has done a good job of continuing and embelishing existing storylines in an existing setting, but none of them really came up with anything new. No sequel or prequel, no matter how good, ever really does, including TDK.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 2:20 p.m. CST

    "For kids" revisionism

    by Chief Joseph

    Seriously, PROVE that Star Wars in 1977 was made for 8 year olds. Find some vintage 1977 articles or something that prove your point. Oh, you can't, can you.<br> The majority of the infamous "merchandising" came almost year after the movie premiered.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 2:43 p.m. CST

    A New Hope was made for

    by Powers Boothe

    children AND the adults, like Lucas and Spielberg, who grew up watching those old Buck Rogers and Flash Gordon serials.<p> This new Clone Wars film (which I watched Friday afternoon with my 8 year old son) is MADE specifically for small children...just like the two mid-80s Ewok films.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 2:56 p.m. CST

    I call Nuke the Fridge, if no one has!

    by Violator90

    “I have a bad feeling about this.” That was my very first thought when I saw the stills for hits mess. But DAMN! I didn’t know it was going to be Nuke the Fridge bad. And with the fact that Georgie adds, probably THEE worse character on film; Zero(Ziro) however you want to spell it, it all adds up to this killing off Star Wars and all the magic it once held. Really, I feel like something I held so dear pretty much wither and die. Yes, the prequels were bad, but come on! A fucking TV show on the big screen?!?! Fuck it that it has Star Wars labeled on it, if it’s on the big screen and I’m PAYING for it, I want quality! Especially with big time names attached to them, I demand quality! This is a fucking joke! But here’s the shit that eats me up! All of the mystique and glory that the Star War trilogy established is lost or down right shitted on. Every thing that we heard about the Jedi Knights as these guardians of the universe and mystical warriors is gone. The way that Alec Guniess spoke about them and the Clone War is not even remotely close to what I have always imagined them to be. Why is Anakin the only Jedi that is dressed in a dark uniform?!?! Even as a padawan, he was the only one that was dressed different. I guess, the Jedi dress code was really lineate. Nothing about the past history of the Jedi Knights or the Sith. Nothing. Well, The Dark Knight is a new hope and I’m sticking with that then till the next Batman comes out. Lucas, you Jabba double, you can suck on Jar Jar.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 3 p.m. CST

    Clone Wars only took in 6.2 million Friday Night

    by romanocc FINALLY, SW fans sent Lucas a message, we are not going to pay for shit if you give us shit. Since 1997 and the SE, Lucas has served SW fans with a steady dose of shit from the SE, the PT, the 2006 OOT laserdisk/DVD, to this abomination called the Clone Wars. All these years the PT fans kept saying that the heart of SW fandom was with them, not those old OT fans. Well guys, Lucas made you a movie about the PT that catered to the PT fanboy and kiddies, and you lost on opening weekend to Tropic Thunder! Maybe Lucas should realize it was the OT fans who made SW great, and alot of fans like myself didn't show up for this crap. Kudos, to everyone who boycotted or just wasn't interested, its about time Lucas was sent a message!

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 3:01 p.m. CST


    by McFlyWalker

    Whilst willing to concede that AH may not have been specifically targeted for kids, it was most definatley targeted at the family market. For evidence on this, first is the "U" rating(as is is in the UK). It may have had burning bodies & people getting shot point blank, but this was just 2 years after the Vietnam War & still in the throws of the Cold were becoming numb to reality, so this "violence" didn't phase them. Second is in the main "innocent" hero's name changing from "Starkiller" to the more user friendly "Skywalker". Then there's the original drafts, the second of which took on a more fairy tale plot, but wit hinspiration drawn from "Flash Gordon", Arthurian legend & a host of other myths from around the world. Proof in a whole manner of different documentaries & literary works, all sanctioned by the Great Beard(tm) himself!!!

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 3:10 p.m. CST


    by mgibson72

    Wow...all this typing going on about a genre that, for at least most of my 36 years, has entertained pretty consistently. What I take from all of this crying on the site is that everyone really still cares about the property even though countless posters here claim otherwise. I felt pretty beat down after Revenge of the Sith just wasn't the 'second coming' I was hoping for but I certainly didn't dedicated hours much less minutes of my life going on and on about on a chat site. As to the "not marketing to kids" theory, Star Wars in 1977 certainly WAS marketed to kids and families almost exclusively. Uncle George said himself that he was looking to make a "fairy tale type film" that resonated with young people. The reason George and the gang went to Comic-Con was to get to that niche market that read COMICS which at that time were widely viewed as juvenile, nerdy, and certainly not mature by any means. It was just a happy circumstance that it struck a chord in almost everyone, including my dad who grabbed the family and took us to the movies to see it. I was five in 1977 and it stuck with me. My dad, then 30, liked it but certainly didn't enjoy it as I did then or do today. My son, who LOVED Clone Wars, will probably enjoy the movie more than I do now when he's my age. Seems to me that all of this is pretty trivial to argue about when all of the haters are simply livid over the fact that GL isn't pandering to you, but another demographic.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 3:15 p.m. CST


    by McFlyWalker

    eloquently put sir. "Uncle George" it!

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 3:43 p.m. CST


    by Playkins

    Honestly, is it really that bad, or does AICN just have it in for Lucas?

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 3:52 p.m. CST

    Only a review from Alexandra DuPont

    by TimBenzedrine

    has the power to drag me back into another talkback. I confess I haven't seen the film (don't really see the point since it'll be on TV soon enough)I offered to take my son to see it, and he expressed zero interest. I am in agreement with one thing, though, Alexandra Dearest; The only concept they haven't explored is ONLY one I'd be interested in seeing, and that's Han and Chewie:The Early years.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 3:55 p.m. CST

    Rotten Tomatoes 19% from 113 reviews

    by G100

    It's shit all right.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 3:56 p.m. CST

    Han and Chewie: The Early Years...

    by StarWarsRedux

    ...would suck. An animated "Shadows of the Empire," however, has potential. Not much, but more than Han and Chewie.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 4:01 p.m. CST

    Is PIXAR's success built on "happy circumstance"

    by G100

    Or rock solid imaginative filmmaking ?

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 4:04 p.m. CST

    A little of both, G100

    by Playkins

    I've never thought that PIXAR's films were anything other than technological showpieces centered around mediocre stories and somewhat enduring characters.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 4:14 p.m. CST

    Toy Story a mediorcre story ????

    by G100

    The Incredibles ? Wall*E Mediocre ? Nah. Don't see it myself personally.<p> <p>That might be your opinion, and you're welcome to it of course, but even the worst of PIXARS output outshines this sad little Movie.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 4:15 p.m. CST

    To be fair, Playkins...

    by StarWarsRedux

    ...that's only really true of the early ones. Since "Monsters Inc" they've done a pretty good job of creating animated films that would be entertaining without the sheer novelty of CG.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 4:17 p.m. CST


    by Powers Boothe

    Nope it's not bad at all. I've actually seen it. It's very goofy but it's certainly not "bad." <p>I'm a University educated 37 year old who was a SW junkie as a child/teen during the late 70s/early 80s. <br>My opinion of the much maligned prequels? The Phantom Menace was a disappointing film with at least 5 truly great moments scattered across it's duration. I feel Attack of The Clones and Revenge of The Sith were significantly better although not perfect (how many film actually are?). The bottom line is they entertained me.<p>So no, SW isn't dead for me...I'm just sensible enough to realize that this Clone Wars films wasn't made with me in mind. My 8 year old loved the hell outta it and wants me to take him again. Mission accomplished, Mr Lucas!

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 4:19 p.m. CST

    Are you sure, G100?

    by StarWarsRedux

    Granted, I haven't seen "Clone Wars" yet (I'll say it again-- a Prequel fan like me doesn't really need to), but Pixar's not without their misfires. Just off the top of my head, there's "A Bug's Life," which you've got to admit, is pretty lackluster. No matter how bad "Clone Wars" is, at least it has robots. I always like robots better than bugs with celebrity voices.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 4:32 p.m. CST

    Yep, a Bugs Life was only fair to good

    by G100

    And CARS was curiously flat in places.(though beautifull to look at to be sure)<p> <p>But both of those films still resonated pretty damn strongly with kids.<p> <p>Like it or not this Movie isn't getting savaged again and again and again because of all this supposed angst about the prequels or because the adults don't get kids films.<p> <p>Many reviewers make a point of taking their Kids to a Movie of this type and most reviewers can review a Movie on it's own merits without too much effort.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 5:07 p.m. CST

    What I really find laughable are the people...

    by Lobanhaki

    ...who say: I'm going to put all my Star Wars memorabilia up for auction because of this film. Seriously, folks, it's almost like you're treating it like a religion. Me? I enjoyed the Prequel Trilogy. I read the expanded universe stuff. I watched the Genddy Tartakovksy Clone Wars micro-series. There's some stuff I hate, some stuff I love, and other stuff that I don't seriously mind. My only main beef is that the EU has been on a depressing arc since Vector Prime. It's time there to return to some mild threats to the Galaxy, as opposed to all the tragedy. Aside from that, Lucas has helped create one of the most complex and iconic universes in modern fiction, and I enjoy strolling around in it. If you don't like one particular series or movie, watch and read whatever you do like. If you don't like the whole thing, then you'd better find something else you enjoy to spend your money and time on, because Star Wars can never give you in particular your money's worth.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 5:34 p.m. CST

    RE: What I really find laughable are the people...

    by GalacticWar

    I totally agree with you. I'm exactly the same. People get way too carried away with this. Lucas didn't create this cartoon Star Wars film for all those old fans, they have the original trilogy (or just Star Wars and Empire for some). So I suggest if they can't stand any other Star Wars except that, then just watch those and ignore all of the other stuff. As for this movie, Lucas is unfortunately not that talented in animation. He is not like Pixar. Shame, but that's the truth to it. People expect far too much.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 6:32 p.m. CST

    Not great, but not the end of the world..

    by Dranem

    I saw this with two friends today just to see the trainwreck, and walked out pleasantly surprised. It was a total kids movie, but the battles were fun (especially the vertical assault) and some of the jokes actually made me laugh (like the battle droid who began counting after the clone said they were outnumbered). I'd give it a 7/10. The little kid sitting next to me with his bored mom was going out of his mind in some scenes, and I must say I envied him. Anyone expecting this "cartoon" to add any value to the Star Wars canon besides entertainment value needs to go read the Thrawn Trilogy again. As someone else said, Star Wars is for the kids now. We can always cling to our metal ROTJ lunchboxes and "Han Shot First" copies of the movies on VHS. Me, I'm gonna share this with my kid when they are old enough and hope they get the same fun that I (and the little dude sitting near me at the theater) out of it.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 7:04 p.m. CST

    Re: Zimmer and Trek

    by Viewer 3

    A Hans Zimmer shot? Really? Please. Zimmer may not be anywhere near "right" for SW, but I'd at least like to think he'd treat it with a decent degree of respect and tone it down from his usual percussion blastathon. Hell I'd like to hear a Zimmer rendition of the main theme, maybe it'd be pretty damn epic, maybe not. As far as Star Trek goes, I fall into the category that only enjoys The Next Generation. And I enjoyed all of the TNG-era movies immensely. But I can admit that my love for the years of character development put into the show created love for what are probably just "average" movies. Star Wars, however, doesn't have that kind of power over me, despite how much I adore the series. The Trek series (at least the TNG era) always treated its characters with the utmost respect, where SW will contain endless debates on how they tarnished Vader's assumed legacy with his portrayal in the prequals, how they damaged the characters with the terrible dialog, etc.. As far as "vision" goes, I can see Lucas with the advantage as far as film making vision goes, but the vision for humanity that's put into the Trek universe far exceeds anything in SW, although granted SW's intended themes aren't focused on humanity to the degree of Trek's.

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 7:40 p.m. CST

    I Couldn't Find It Mavra???

    by Media Messiah

    I've checked over 9 times now?

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 8:39 p.m. CST


    by Brian

    this is literally everything i wanna know

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 9:43 p.m. CST

    I'm no longer a Star Wars fan

    by Pizza The Hut

    Thanks, George!

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 9:50 p.m. CST

    Media Messiah

    by Mavra Chang

    It's I typed in yahoo the first time and got my letter back. I hadn't heard of ymail, but that's what it is. He had to use a different name, ya know, on the thread. I'll see you around. Take care!

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 11:03 p.m. CST

    I never bought the whole "I'm gonna sell my whole collection" th

    by StarWarsRedux

    Wouldn't fans like that already have done that about three or four times by now, if their threats were serious?

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 11:10 p.m. CST

    I am exceptionally disapointed in you men

    by Melvin_Pelvis

    All you had to do was steer Miss DuPont away from this mess.<br> provide a distraction.<br> Maybe a little finger banging.<p> But did you step up?<p> THAT'S A BIG FUCKING NEGITORY, MAGGOTS!<p> Now, Miss DuPont is unhappy.<p> WHAT DO YOU MAGGOTS INTEND TO DO ABOUT IT!?

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 11:25 p.m. CST

    re: oo-fah!! 5% positive among top critics!

    by Melvin_Pelvis

    ouch<p> But it's what it deserves<p> And that along with the BO will hopefully send a message

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 11:33 p.m. CST

    Thanks Mavra

    by Media Messiah

    You rock and rule as always!!!

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 11:38 p.m. CST

    re: I'm no longer a Star Wars fan

    by Melvin_Pelvis

    Welcome to the club<br> Virgins move to the left.<p> Non-virgins, mingle.

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 12:16 a.m. CST


    by Melvin_Pelvis

    are you an elder in your church?<p> or got you eye on one of those chairs?<p> Or maybe on one of the other elders dottors?

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 12:44 a.m. CST

    Do the lunchbox sales dance George

    by Melvin_Pelvis

    shake that fat fucking ass

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 12:57 a.m. CST

    It really wasn't that bad people

    by darthvedder81

    I'd give it 3/5 stars. It's pretty obviously 4 TV show episodes melded together and projected on a big screen. On that basis I had a good time. I was a little bored at first but I started to actually somewhat care about the plot as soon as the attack on the temple begin (you gotta admit there were some cool shots during that vertical assault). I can understanding being blase about it but I can't really see why any big SW fan would outright hate it.

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 1:31 a.m. CST


    by Melvin_Pelvis

    bought 3 out of 5 lunchboxes<br>'the other two were sold out<br> but still thats a prime investment

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 4:52 a.m. CST

    Why do the prequel characters all talk like...

    by quantize

    ..they have brooms stuck up their sphincters? i think it makes the proceedings very stiff and the characters nowhere near as warm as Luke and Han. Lucas wasted the well chosen actors in the prequels tragically on dead staging and stilted stiff shitty dialog.

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 5:40 a.m. CST

    wasn't that bad, the cliff bit was better than th prequels

    by ironic_name

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 7:13 a.m. CST

    there is no opening text crawl because

    by alice 13

    lucas' target audience cant read yet.

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 8:19 a.m. CST

    I'm really surprised Harry hated it as much...

    by Powers Boothe

    as he did. It's actually quite a lot of fun. I have a feeling when some of you guys finally see it (Clone Wars) you won't hate it as much as you think you will.<p> The only things I disliked about the movie was the score and the abrupt ending. That teenage girl Padawan is actually a pretty neat character. Seriously,

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 8:58 a.m. CST

    Powers Boothe

    by Giant Ape Balls

    I ain't watching it. Mr Lucas has had enough money from me. He can go find some other sap to fleece with his inferior wares.

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 10:19 a.m. CST


    by alcester

    Would someone with a little imagination make a new sci/fi movie the old fashion way. With models and real actors. The human eye can tell all this CGI stuff is phoney . All it is is eye candy.

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 11:03 a.m. CST

    "The TV series is a bit grittier and darker..."

    by Alexandra.DuPont

    Just FYI, here's some discussion fodder: Got this fascinating counterpoint e-mail from a source. It ends with news that will make your heart soar: <p> ____ <p> "If you decide to use any of the following for a post anywhere, just keep my name out of it.... <p> "... I too have to agree that this should not have been a theatrical release. I would have preferred this be a 2 hour premiere before the new series and move forward. I agree that some things bothered me. Right off the bat, Capote the Hutt, which had his voice been the same but spoke in Huttese, it would have actually been pretty cool.... The consensus [at the screenings I attended] was that they could not wait to get to see the actual series come October on Cartoon Network and TNT (which will broadcast it in HD). <p> I can say with confidence that the actual ['Clone Wars'] series is far better then the film, and I actually enjoyed the film because I knew what I was getting into. [The film's] particular storyline is kid friendly. That is why it was released. There has been a lack of children’s films slated for this time of the year and WB went to Lucas for this. The bottom line is, Lucas did it not for the money, because frankly, I doubt it will be in the top 3 and so does LFL. It was WB being able to have a family film in the time of The Dark Knight. Plain and simple. If no one shows up for this, Lucas doesn’t care. <p> "Know the TV series is a bit grittier and darker, not too dark, but darker then this. Oh, and there is a Jar Jar episode… sorry."

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 11:19 a.m. CST

    Alright now get this....

    by staticneuron

    A lesbian filmaker, a pornographer, a console-gaming engineer and a Lutherian filmaker all walk into a theater........ I am sorry but i thought that was just a funny group of friends.

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 11:36 a.m. CST

    The Jar-Jar Issue.

    by Drafthouse_Slave

    For all the hemmin' and hawin' about Jar-Jar, he wasn't that bad through the prequels. A bit over the top in TPM here and there, but for the most part, it wasn't as bad as people made him out to be.

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 11:39 a.m. CST

    Why Can't George just be like I want him to be?

    by palpeedude

    Serious! I love the original Series. Why can't he just be the same person he was in 1977? Why can't he just stay the same so he can just keep making the same movie I loved so much? Why don't these movies I am seeing now make me feel the same way the original trilogy made me feel? Why can't his material grow along with ME? Why can't every movie he makes from now on make me feel the same way I did when I was 11? I am 33 now, so why can't they make me feel that way again? Why? Why? Why? You whiny babies. If you would just look at Clone Wars like you would any other movie, and not bring with you all the expectation of something it barely ha any ties to. You might actually think the movie was fun. IS that so bad? A fun and NOT SERIOUS take on Star Wars? I'm sorry, but the battle droid goofiness was actually pretty funny, once you just relax and go to the movies to simply enjoy yourself. Like you would any movie except Star Wars for some reason.

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 11:44 a.m. CST


    by pablo2004

    You are THE best writer on this site!

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 11:51 a.m. CST

    "A bit over the top in TPM here and there..."

    by Alexandra.DuPont

  • Aug. 17, 2008, noon CST


    by Drafthouse_Slave

    HA! The reason Jar Jar didn't bother me like it did so many others is because so many people made a stick about it. Also everyone should keep in mind this... 3 of the top ten grossing films of all time domestically are Star Wars films... 2 are Prequels.

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 12:23 p.m. CST

    I am not a PLANT

    by SingingHatchet

    I am not green. I live in IDAHO. I teach college at NNU.

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 12:59 p.m. CST

    According to IMDB, it's No. 3 at the box office

    by StarWarsRedux

    Doesn't beat "Dark Knight," but frankly I'm surprised anything could've beaten that, let alone "Tropic Thunder."

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 1:37 p.m. CST


    by Not.Having_it

    I just saw Clone Wars and well I really enjoyed it! It was a great deal of fun and felt that it was worth watching. I'm very suprised at the level of disgust that hatred for it in reviews. It was just a good enjoyable kids film.

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 2:56 p.m. CST

    zerocorpse i like your ideas about scrappy and jarjar

    by compn

    and i'd like to subscribe to your newsletter. i picture sarcastic brock saying those jarjar lines, not regular brock :)

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 4:04 p.m. CST

    Clone Wars Number 3 At The Box Office???

    by Media Messiah

    Finally the slap in the face that Lucas needed to wake himself up from a bad case of self importance. Lucas has become arrogant, everything he advised(in his scripts) the Jedi not to be, or become.

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 5:32 p.m. CST

    Number 3 to Tropic Thunder and Dark Knight is a bad thing?

    by StarWarsRedux

    Whatever. I just went and saw it, finally. And you know what? For a 90 minute cartoon marathon, it was pretty damn good. Not great as a film, nowhere near as good as the Prequels or Originals, but a nice, fun little movie. That said, it'll play much better on television than the big screen.

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 6:22 p.m. CST

    Hmm... Damage control already from Lucasfilm ?

    by G100

    So they knew the theatrical release wasn't that great but released it because a Kids Movie was needed...<p> <p>We could of course give em the benefit of the doubt and believe the Series will be 1000 times better than this effort, however the suspicion will be that they are now pimping the series for all it's worth since the critical response to the Clone Wars Movie has been almost universally bad.<p> <p>I do know that it seems a much to ask people and their kids to pay full ticket price to see a movie insiders think is one of the poorer examples of the new series.<P> <p>But the new series might, just might, be worth catching if this isn't just more Lucasfilm P.R. and damage control.<p> <p>Interesting info notheless.

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 7:45 p.m. CST

    So, apologists and plants...

    by Chief Joseph

    If all the OT and PT were all kids movies, and this is also a kids movie,<br> Should the BO response have been the same as its predecessors?

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 8:32 p.m. CST

    You guys set my expectations SO LOW...

    by Voice O. Reason

    ...I was pleasantly surprised by it. In my personal fanboy continuity, Ahsoka is the first person to die when Anakin goes on his Jedi Temple killing spree.

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 9:10 p.m. CST

    People saying "it wasn't that bad,"

    by Baked

    Are why they keep crapping out these "products." As long as people will pay for the pleasure of seeing Star Wars on the big screen regardless of quality, the quality will continue to plummet. Now pardon me while I snuggle my Genndy-Wars.

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 9:18 p.m. CST

    Hey palpeedude

    by Sicuv Uyall

    I walk into a movie expecting my money's worth... i don't give a fuck if its star wars or not. The prequels were like walking into Batman & Robin 3 times over expecting something something at least entertaining and then wanting to choke myself with popcorn 10 minutes into the movie. Every Lucas movie has SUCKED after 1989... I wasted money on Crystal Skullfuck and still want my fuckin money back so I can watch Dark Knight again. You however have to apologize for Lucas cuz you gave him another $9 for something you can watch on TV in a couple months. It's people like you who are gonna help him make Indy V where he sends Indy to the moon in a space rocket, and you give him more money for it! SUCERSSS!!! I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!! Even if the classic Star Wars and Indy movies come out on Blu Ray, I will never give a cent more to that fuck Lucas!!! Thanks.

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 9:39 p.m. CST


    by Earthquake WestCoast

    I had fun seeing the film! It was WAY more entertaining than the prequels. The characters actually had personality!! Unlike the prequels in which every character spoke in the same dead, lifeless tone. (Lucas can't direct!) And the TEENAGE GIRL JEDI was GREAT! She brought humor and warmth to the film. As to fanboys who don't like what they see....uh, then just don't see it. Why are you still complaining about it. Don't you have anything better to do? As for people complaining about all the nicknames in the film, the originals had GOLDEN ROD, and NURFHERDER thrown in there. Nicknames make the characters seem more human.

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 9:45 p.m. CST


    by Earthquake WestCoast

    The Star Wars films have ALWAYS been for families! Not the hater fanboys! Hater fanboys came in the late 90s when their life must of sucked and they couldn't let go of their childhood past. If you don't like a movie, fine. But all this RAGE AND ANGER is sad. Makes it seem that you really don't have ANYTHING good going for you in life.

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 9:45 p.m. CST

    Chief Joseph

    by StarWarsRedux

    The diminished box office is mostly due to the fact that most people can tell that Clone Wars isn't a "real" Star Wars movie. It's a cartoon spin-off. If Lucas announced he'd be doing VII, VIII and IX, people would line up for those just like the last 6 episodes. Hell, if/when Lucas does another re-release of I-VI, perhaps the touted 3D-ification, people would line up for that, too. As it stands, 3rd place is a very respectable box office position for a movie whose draw was limited in comparison to the rest of the franchise's instalments, especially in competition with the now historic moneymaker TDK has become, and I doubt that an animated spin-off from another series would fare as well. Imagine if they did a cartoon version of James Bond, for example. Or even better, this ought to be compared against the success of the original Batman live-action films to Mask of the Phantasm, though even then the comparison isn't quite as concrete.

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 9:51 p.m. CST

    I'll go a step further, StarWarsRedux...

    by Drafthouse_Slave

    If they decided to make an animated "The Hobbit", it would do poorly as well... for the lone exception if it was a Pixar movie and that doesn't make it a sure thing either. as wonderful as Wall-E was, it did lower then expected Box-Office. But honestly, that to me just makes it more Oscar worthy. The "LUCAS FINALLY SHOULD GET THE HINT!" argument does NOT hold water in this case, not a little bit. But watch the DVD sales soar.

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 10:43 p.m. CST

    The Families Didn't Show-Up!!! Why??? Answer:

    by Media Messiah

    Because those families are headed by Fanboys who have been betrayed and disrespected by Lucas repeatedly!!! Now they are tired of it and are refusing to take their kids, nieces and nephews, and the children's friends, to see Lucas produced films. This is the beginning of a meltdown for Lucas. He has no clue about his fans or their wants, or how they think anymore, as he is too busy eating at 5 star restaurants and staying at 5 star hotels to come down from the mountain and have meaningful conversations with them.<BR><BR>Lucas is so arrogant that he won't even recruit respected up and coming filmmakers and writers to do Star Wars films for fear that they may actually managed to outshine him critically speaking, so he hires hacks or directs them himself...better a sub par Star Wars than someone eclipsing Lucas: Can't have anyone else receiving a crumb of praise, can we George???

  • Aug. 17, 2008, 11:15 p.m. CST

    When I went, I was the only adult without a kid...

    by StarWarsRedux

    Seriously, even if a parent didn't like Lucas, it would be kinda cruel to refuse to take their kid to see a Star Wars movie, good or bad.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, midnight CST

    Coming In At Number 3 At The Box Office Says It All

    by Media Messiah

    I am not talking about Fathers intentionally punishing their kids, rather, when a Father decides not to feed his kids junk food literally, or junk food of the mind, that isn't punishment, that is exercising responsibility.<BR><BR>Lucas could have hired Brad Bird to direct Clone Wars, or Joss Whedon to write it....but no, we got a thrown together film instead, one using lessor talent than what is available. Hence the reason why very few families showed-up to pay for this visual junk food of the mind.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 12:04 a.m. CST

    Coming in at #3 says it did well against the competition.

    by StarWarsRedux

    And Joss Whedon? Really? Sorry, but that's not a very convincing argument.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 12:39 a.m. CST

    Against An R Rated Film, Clone Wars Should Have Won.

    by Media Messiah

    Clone Wars only had a $4,491 perscreen average, at 133 more screens that Tropic Thunder, a film that opened up on Wednesday and still beat it hands down. The matinees alone should have insured a clear win for the movie, but George Lucas has personally screwed over his audience so many times, the latest Indy film was the last straw. Now Lucas' name is no longer a brand name that says quality...on the contrary, people think of low quality in terms of story and narrative when they think of Lucas now.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 12:41 a.m. CST


    by Media Messiah

    See Serenity--and you will be convinced.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 12:48 a.m. CST

    Tropic Thunder also had one huge thing in its favor...

    by StarWarsRedux

    ...controversy. It sells. People went for the spectacle of Robert Downey Jr. in blackface. People went because of the protests over the "Simple Jack" spoof. Controversy is enough to counteract a film's R Rating limiting the pool of potential audience.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 12:54 a.m. CST


    by StarWarsRedux

    I tried. Honestly. But Joss Whedon's writing, to me, is like combining the worst, most overindulgent aspects of Kevin Smith, Aaron Sorkin and John Waters, then mixing it all together in genres that either don't blend well with excessively sassy verboseness (like science-fiction) or ones that I could really give less than a crap about (high school drama and vampires). I know plenty of people agree with me, but I just can't stand the way he writes, and encourages other people to write. All of his dialogue sounds like it's coming from the same character's mouths, and they all just happen to be characters I don't find attractive, sympathetic or engaging in the least. Sorry, but Whedon's just not for me.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 12:56 a.m. CST

    Or rather, plenty of people DON'T agree with me

    by StarWarsRedux

    Re: my passionate distaste for Whedon. Don't want to let that typo go uncorrected.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 1:09 a.m. CST

    One more thing...

    by StarWarsRedux

    If an R-Rated film should underperform a movie with a lower rating, why did The Dark Knight fall to second place?

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 6:49 a.m. CST

    Dead to Me

    by Cobbio

    God, I fucking hate Lucas. If Tartakovsky's "Clone Wars" goes out of print so Lucas's fart-joke-laden "Clone Wars" can become the "official" story, it only proves that Lucas is a nasty totalitarian-minded dictator. And just like all dictators, he doesn't care what anyone else says. He simply silences the opposition. <p> So take all your money, all your intellectual properties, all your insultingly horrible decisions, all your fake Joseph Campbell rhetoric, and stuff it up you ass, you Hollywood sellout fuck.<p> You're dead to me, George.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 7 a.m. CST

    Re: Earthquake WestCoast

    by Cobbio

    You wrote, "I had fun seeing the film! It was WAY more entertaining than the prequels." So, Earthquake, how did George Lucas force you to write fake talkback points? Did he threaten to fire you if you didn't? Did he force you to suck his wee wee, and when you liked it so much, you volunteered?<p> You've been exposed as the fake talkbacker corporate spin controller that you are, Earthquake. Too bad "Clone Wars" sucks and only came in third this week, huh?

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 7:27 a.m. CST

    point 8 is a worry

    by Maniaq

    Lucas is not afraid to rewrite history and pretending the Tartakovsky dvd's NEVER HAPPENED is exactly the kind of bullshit move we all know is not beneath him! <p> talk about losing touch...

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 8:45 a.m. CST

    The Dark Knight Had To Fall Sometime

    by Media Messiah

    And it fell this week, thanks to ironically, another Warner film...that being Clone Wars, Warner accidently shot itself in the foot by splitting the audience demographic. Family audiences that would have had no choice but to see the Dark Knight once again, and exclusively for the most part, had a choice between Dark Knight and Clone Wars over the weekend, diminishing both films at the box office, and forcing them both to share the all important matinee box office, a major key to beating an R rated film.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 11:36 a.m. CST

    Do yourself a favor.......

    by Crackles

    and DON'T SEE THIS PIECE OF SHIT MOVIE!!!! Stay at home and watch ANYTHING else. It doesn't matter what you watch cause chances are it's better than the ABOMINATION that is Clone Wars! If you really want to go to the theater than see The Dark Knight again or Pineapple Express or Mama fucking Mia....anything but Clone Wars.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 11:56 a.m. CST

    I have pinpointed the very moment that Star Wars died

    by ArcadianDS

    In Episode II, when the droids are fighting the Jedi to rescue Anaken, C3PO's relocated head gets shot off of a droid. In contrast to every previous moment of disassembly, the head seems to work fine without any body parts. Solution: R2D2 fires a fishing line at the head and reels it in, pulling it across the sandy arena floor. C3P0 says, and I quote:<p> "This is such a drag."<p> THIS. IS. SUCH. A .DRAG.????!!!!<p> C3P0 just said that. Really. For a cheap laugh. Nevermind that exactly 45 years ago, the whole planet of Earth STOPPED USING THAT PHRASE ENTIRELY. It reads like a discarded Wolfman Jack line from American Grafitti. *raspy voice* "HEEEEY KATS, THIS IS SUCH A DRAAAAG, MAN. YOU KNOW WHAT IM SAYIN? AWOOOOOOOOOooOoOo!"<p> At that very moment, I physically cringed for the first time while watching a Star Wars movie. CRINGED! As in, "im so embarrassed to be watching this right now."<p> Thats the moment - right there. I have not nor will I ever see Episode III. Star Wars is now in that sealed vault in my brain where I store movies I have viewed, but must never ever remember: SW Ep II sits on a shelf in that vault next to Highlander II and Willow.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 12:20 p.m. CST

    Actually, Media Messiah has a point

    by StarWarsRedux

    In my opinion, most families went to see Clone Wars, while everybody else (the bulk of Batman's broad appeal audience) stuck with TDK. The difference is I just don't see it as a failing of Clone Wars to climb higher than #3-- its target demographic is kids, and unlike the rest of the Star Wars films, it's not attracting the older crowds, which have TDK or (surprise!) non-superhero movies to check out this summer.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 1:18 p.m. CST

    I remember when the Lucasfilm logo would

    by TooWhippy

    come up on screen before a movie and I would get stoked but now I just get sad. I think Gary Kurtz was right on.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 1:39 p.m. CST

    I'm Not Saying TDK Fell To 2 Because Of CW

    by Media Messiah

    What I am tellng you is that it is a good possibility. Whenever you have two films going for the same audience, in cross demographics, there is a good chance that they will cannibalize each others' audience, as it has happened before. These two movies TDK and CW were forced to share the matinee audience, which according to experts like Nikke Finke is pivotal to films that attract family audiences, and I have seen her words proven out numerous times in the case of TDK, over the last several weeks, the only difference this time, TDK was competing for the same matinee monies as CW. How much of a drain it was off of the box office, who knows...but you can bet it was in the millions, 2 to 6 or more??? Did the extra competition for the family buck cost The Dark Knight its crown??? Don't know, but it didn't help.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 1:51 p.m. CST

    Well it left TDK vulnerable to Tropic Thunder, for sure

    by StarWarsRedux

    If a lesser movie debuted then, TDK would still be #1, and Clone Wars would be in #2. Good timing on the part of Tropic Thunder, then.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 2:21 p.m. CST


    by Earthquake WestCoast

    It was a fun little film! The T.V. show should be entertaining as well. Don't really care if it was #3 over the weekend, why should I? I'm not making any money off it, so why would I care how much money it made. Same with TDK, I couldn't care less if it beats Titanic or not. Btw....TDK did NOT beat the original Star Wars in moneymaking. When you take inflation, the TDK would have to make over 1 BILLION DOLLARS in todays money to even reach STAR WARS grosses. That's how amazing the original Star Wars was.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 2:50 p.m. CST


    by Crackles

    Clone Wars makes the prequels look oscar worthy!!! It was absolutely horrible!! And The Dark Knight did beat Star Wars.....we're not counting inflation!

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 3:22 p.m. CST

    "Ah sou ka"

    by jdl82

    Does anyone else know that that's Japanese for, "Well, that's interesting"?

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 3:34 p.m. CST

    Are there any box-office lists that include tickets sold?

    by StarWarsRedux

    Money earned is not an accurate barometer of success, time considered. This isn't a contest of which movie does better, for me. I just want to find an accurate resource that tells you how many tickets each movie sells.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 3:41 p.m. CST

    Don't blame Lucas

    by Sithdan

    DON'T BLAME THE BEARDED ONE for this movie's numerous shortcomings. It's funny how accountability is based on the success or failure of a movie. Empire Strikes Back is a hit, yet no one in the geek community acknowledges Lucas for this cinematic triumph. Larry Kasdan, Leigh Brackett and Irvin Kershner tend to be the recipients of geek praise for their contributions to Empire, and rightly so. Lucas wasn't much involved in the production of Empire, so I guess you have to give credit where credit is due. But paradoxically, Lucas had similar if not less involvement in Clone Wars, yet he foots all the blame for its overwhelming failure. He didn't write the thing, direct it or animate it. Everyone has adulation for the original Clone Wars cartoon, yet Lucas doesn't receive credit for that one, either. No, Genndy Tartakovsky takes the taco for that one. But I guarantee, had the 2003 Clone Wars series bombed, Lucas would have ultimately received the blame. Can you say hypocrisy?

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 3:45 p.m. CST

    For ESB, everyone always forgets two people...

    by StarWarsRedux

    ...Lucas, whose visual fingerprints are all over every frame of the film, and Peter Suschitzky, who might be the best cinematographer of the last 25 years.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 9:19 p.m. CST

    Check Box Office Mojo For Information

    by Media Messiah

    But per screen averages are about as best you're going to get, and they have them up at Box Office Mojo.

  • Aug. 18, 2008, 10:56 p.m. CST

    I Give Credit To Lucas For Empire And His Contributors

    by Media Messiah

    I blame Lucas for having the power to hire some really excellent top talent to steer Star Wars' future. I crediit him for Raiders, and Star Wars, Empire and American Graffiti, as well as THX-1138, but refusing not to work with some of the new top talent out there these days, out of plain bullheadedness, is just ego on Lucas' part. I want George to make me a liar and hire people like Joss Whedon, and or, the director of V For Vendetta, etc., to bring new life to Star Wars as the people at Lucas Film are all out of good ideas and inspiration, and Lucas micro manages the whole operation entirely too much, stifling creativity and independent thought.

  • Aug. 21, 2008, 2:13 a.m. CST

    right on the money

    by trotsky37

    Thank you so much for this review. I said to my friend CJ almost verbatim after this movie, "This must be what people who hate the prequels feel like about those movies" and "Ziro the hutt sounds like someone doing a campy truman captoe impersonation"