Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with a quickie review of a flick not getting much attention this weekend. I guess Tom Rothman’s still angry at us, so we never seem to be invited to any Fox press screenings.

Being a bit of a horror nerd I made a point to catch the midnight screening of Alexandre Aja’s newest film, MIRRORS, which opens today. I don’t know if there was a press screening this week… if there was I certainly wasn’t invited to it, but I figured I’d write up a quick review so the only new things I have to add to the site today aren’t just another snarky, upset CLONE WARS review and my AMAD column (those both coming shortly).

Quick recap: I love, love, love the first 85 minutes of HAUTE TENSION. That ending really nukes the shark… jumps the fridge… shits the bed? Whatever it is, if it’s bad that ending fits. I dug his HILLS HAVE EYES remake, but didn’t love it as much, but I did love that it’s a fucking mean horror movie and it doesn’t shy away from the abyss.

So Alexandre Aja means good news for me.

And I still like Kiefer Sutherland… I still dig the hell out 24 even though there’s been a few rocky seasons. What can I say? I love Jack Bauer.

And it’s a good thing because Sutherland isn’t playing anyone besides Jack Bauer in this movie. He channeling drug-addicted Bauer from season 3, but instead of heroin he’s trying to kick booze. Instead of a government agent he’s a tortured ex-NYPD officer who is taking time off after the accidental shooting of his partner while undercover.

He takes a job as a night watchman at a creepy old burned out massive shopping complex that was nearly destroyed in a fire set in the ‘50s. This place is still somehow taking up a huge amount of valuable square footage in New York City.

On his first night there, Jack Bauer/Ben Carson goes on his rounds and is scared by pigeons, then notice some fucked up shit in the mirrors.

Now I’m a big fan of good mirror usage in horror films. The best example, in my opinion, is John Carpenter’s vastly underrated PRINCE OF DARKNESS. I don’t think it’s his best movie (especially with the obviously 30-something lead trying to play college-age), but I stand firmly behind my belief that it’s his scariest movie.

There’s something about the concept of mirrors hiding other beings, evil beings… backwards bizarro worlds. It’s fascinating.

And Aja shoots the film well, very smartly playing with dual images throughout and he doesn’t shy away from the gore as evidenced by the opening scene in which a man’s reflection forces him to slice his own throat.

Where the movie disappoints is the character writing. Ultimately the explanation of what the evil in the mirrors is isn’t all that interesting and it takes a long damn time to get there only to force a big CG fight with a character that looks like the Pit Witch from ARMY OF DARKNESS. This fight reminded me of the horrible EXORCIST prequels.

I wish Aja would have avoided CG more. You can do so much with real distortion and make-up, as is evidenced by the centerpiece effect. If you’ve seen the trailer you know that Amy Smart ain’t gonna have a good time, but it’s a particularly gruesome effect that is aided by CG… maybe a little too much, but still practically done and the results are really interesting. Plus you get some Amy Smart nudity as a side-effect.

But despite a few good cheap scares I didn’t find myself very much creeped out by the movie, which is hard for me to accept with my love of horror movies involving mirrors. But I will say that this film blows away the crappy Lena Headey evil mirror people movie that I saw at Sundance this year, THE BROKEN. At least something fuckin’ happens here.

And I quite dig the finale. I saw the movie with a friend and his wife who didn’t care for the finale, thought it was tacked on and didn’t make much sense. I won’t ruin it here, but I think it’s pretty interesting and almost wish we got to see a little more of it.

The acting’s fine. Sutherland is playing Bauer, like I already mentioned, but I like that character enough to roll with it. Amy Smart is good for her small screentime and Jason Flemming is really good, if not way underused as Sutherland’s cop buddy who feeds him plot points. Paula Patton, who plays Bauer/Carson’s estranged wife is probably the weakest link. She’s gorgeous, no doubt, but doesn’t come off very well in the movie. I recall liking her in DÉJÀ VU, so I’ll lay most of the blame at the feet of the shoddy character writing.

So, at the end of the day I’d say this is the least successful Aja film I’ve seen, but the fact that it’s an original horror movie and is shot very well elevates it out of some mediocre and predictable writing. I can’t get excited over the movie, but I can’t get worked up over it either. It has a lot of flaws, but has enough good with it that it ends up better than mediocre. Unapologetically R-rated, original horror. That in and of itself these days makes this a successful big studio horror release.

Well, damn. I was all impressed with it being an original horror film then I am reminded below that it's a remake of a Korean film, something I knew while it was shooting, but I guess forced out of my brain for some reason while watching it and writing up the review... oh, well...

-Quint
quint@aintitcool.com