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Is it wrong for Capone to jump on the CLONE WARS hate-wagon? He doesn't seem to think so!!

Hey all. Capone with a few brief words about STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS and embargoes (that sound you hear is a can of worms being re-opened, hopefully for the last time). A big part of me (but I'm not saying which part) was really stunned at the supposed outrage that went along with Moriarty's discussion about why we pulled the AICN reviews of STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS a couple days ago. I agree with everyone that was of the opinion that this was certainly not the film to get this bent out of shape over. Not to bore you with semantics, but my working out of Chicago means two things: I don't get the same embargo-breaking privileges as my comrades in Austin, nor do I get the privileges that the folks in L.A. get. Part of my "going legit" as part of the Chicago film critic community a few years ago meant that embargoes were going to a part of my life, full stop, end of story. Occasionally when a director or marketing person who is a hip to the AICN funk gets involved, embargoes are easily lifted (I ran my TROPIC THUNDER review three weeks ago, for example) for me. But for the most part, in order to get invited to any press screenings or have access to talent for interviews, embargoes are a part of my world. For those paying attention for the last five years or so, most of my reviews (including the ones going up today) are posted on Fridays, so anyone crying foul in the talkbacks today hasn't been paying attention. Harry and the Austin gang, as well as Moriarty and his L.A. deviants, have a lot more freedom. Why? I'm not sure, but thank goodness. Embargoes don't mean the movie is going to suck. However, selectively enforcing embargoes is another matter. It's the equivalent of not screening the movie at all before opening, and we all know what that means. I've never had to promise a positive review to anyone to print an early review. In fact, I've never even been asked if my review will be positive in advance to secure an embargo-breaking review. I remember when PAN'S LABYRINTH was screened. I was told before I even saw the film that I was allowed to write a review immediately. That offer is almost never extended, mind you, but when it is I always take advantage. Oh and here's perhaps the most important thing about embargoes: those of you out there in the readership who see a movie early at a test screening or sneak preview or film festival don't have to pay any attention to embargoes. You can send us your reports and reviews, and we'll post it if it seems legit (as in a non-plant) and somewhat literate. What makes AICN different from so many other online movie sites is not necessarily our regular staffers, but our irregular staffers. In many ways, you wield just as much power as we do in generating or killing advance buzz on an upcoming release. Embargoes aren't for suckers or sellouts or whatever other way-off-base labels you'd like to attach to us; they just are. And we deal with them as much as we'll told to, so you don't have to and so we can keep bringing you as many reviews and interviews as possible. Keep writing in, y'all. What got me started on this? Oh right! CLONE WARS. Well, of course it's crap, but honestly, I didn't think it was any worse than THE PHANTOM MENACE. In fact, I think it's a tiny bit better than that low point in the STAR WARS franchise. The truth is, I like the possibilities an animated Star Wars tale offers, even if this particular film doesn't deliver on that potential. Instead what we get is a between-Episodes-2-and-3 story that acts as a weak bridge, using voices from actors who are clearly not the original cast, and introducing us to sub-par new characters clearly aimed at a younger audience. What's more disturbing to me is that many of the rules and storylines established in ATTACK OF THE CLONES are totally ignored. When I was a wee lad and first heard the term "Clone Wars," my fertile mind dreamed up just how epic and glorious such wars would appear when/if George Lucas ever chose to tell that story. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine a scenario where all of the characters looked like mannequins with waxy, expressionless faces and a universe where Lucas seems to be borrowing from the older films' mythology for cameos rather than drawing up new and interesting ways of maneuvering them. Part of the problem (as with any prequel) is that we have a fair sense of who lives and dies already, so any character we recognize, we know won't die; any one we don't, probably will. Sure, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Yoda, Palpatine and Padme are all here (none voiced by the film actors). Samuel L. Jackson's Mace Windu, Christopher Lee's Count Dooku and Anthony Daniels' C-3P0 are in this as well, and all three actors bothered to show up to voice the characters, which eases the sting a little, I suppose. What kills me is that none of the new characters (who I hear will be major players in the upcoming animated TV series) are in any way compelling. First there's Anakin's apprentice Ahsoka, who is the equivalent of a teenage girl with all of the requisite sass and none of the hotness. She calls Skywalker "Sky Guy," if that gives you any sense of how clever the film is. On the villain front (Lucas has a history of creating far more interesting villains than heroes) is Ventress, a dark-side warrior who is all huff and no puff. And while I like that we get a little more backstory on the importance of Jabba the Hut to the Star Wars universe, perhaps the two most baffling additions to the cast are that of his infant son (who resembles a fat tadpole and is nicknamed "Stinky" by Ahsoka, who is apparently full of great nicknames) and Jabba's gay transvestite uncle Ziro. Okay, I don't know for sure if he's a transvestite, but it sure looked like he was wearing a whole lot of makeup. And don't get me started on the voice. Everyone in the audience I saw this movie with laughed whenever this character spoke. A critic friend of mine said the voice reminded him of Truman Capote. Now, normally I would think of my own reference for the voice at this point, except Capote is so obviously the vocal reference for Ziro that I'm not even going to bother. Just when Lucas had finally stopped offending Asians and African-Americans with his voice choices in the prequels, he goes and gives us the alien equivalent of a flaming queen. Director Dave Filoni (who helmed a handful of "Avatar: The Last Airbender" episodes) at least keeps things moving in THE CLONE WARS, almost to a fault. Not like the other prequels were big on character development, but we fly through this story so quickly that you hardly have a chance to look at some of the interesting art elements of the film or care that much about any of the new characters (perhaps the series will remedy this to a degree). But the real elements of this film that bothered me were the little things: no title crawl (a terrible opening narration takes its place), no reference to the fact that Anakin and Padme are married (Padme barely registers in this film), no mention of the increasing friction between Anakin and Obi-Wan, and no sense that Anakin is being tempted by the dark side. I realize this film is pulling double duty as a stand-alone film and as a pilot for the TV series, but would a little continuity kill anybody? In the end, THE CLONE WARS is a blip on the summer of 2008, a blip on the STAR WARS saga, and a huge missed opportunity to do something really cool to keep this franchise alive. -- Capone capone@aintitcoolmail.com



Readers Talkback
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  • Aug. 15, 2008, 1:25 a.m. CST

    This Will Be SHIT!

    by Akira Cowabunga

    Guaranteed.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 1:27 a.m. CST

    HA!

    by Akira Cowabunga

    I kept some dumbass fuck from shouting "First!" Fuck you all you pathetic firsters.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 1:33 a.m. CST

    Sky Guy! Stinky !! Genius!

    by G100

    Turdtacular.<p> <p>Would have been nice to have seen some of the readers reviews from the public and the Embargoed screenings before now Capone.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 1:35 a.m. CST

    give the lame fridge shit a rest

    by G100

    Even those of us who think the Embargo and it's enforcement are to say the least "curious", aren't goin to jump ontp some half assed pathetic fridge site.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 1:38 a.m. CST

    Knew this would be shit.

    by Judge_Dredd

    Its the new crop of Star Wars material...

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 1:38 a.m. CST

    third?

    by bluerider74

    Wow, never been this high on a talkback. I said everything I could in Harry's review, but I will say this: I feel a zen-like calm over me with this film. I have zero urge to see it. I can honestly say that has never happened to me before with the Star Wars universe. George is out of ideas and his movies fail to inspire. Time to box up the movies and give them to someone who cares.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 1:39 a.m. CST

    your lower back!

    by BadMrWonka

    oh..thought we were guessing which part of your body was outraged...<p> I say just ban anyone that acts like a fucking dick. sure, it might not be fair, but it would get rid of the dicks on AICN faster than a guy-on-guy porno!<p> also, I may be slightly drunk. see my comments on Mori's tropic thunder review for my real thoughts.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 1:40 a.m. CST

    Jump on buddy!

    by Horace Cox

    Plenty of room for ya on the bandwagon. I'll just scooch my big ass over a little...

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 1:43 a.m. CST

    ~~~oh well...off to see "DARK KNIGHT" again! BYE!~~~

    by The Marquis de Side 3

    never ever EVER had hopes movies with shitty animation anyway (MONTY PYTHON could do better), 'specially with Lucas in charge...

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 1:46 a.m. CST

    Yeah if this really does suck

    by Series7

    It was a huge missed oppertunity. Fucking wheres the damn new TMNT movie or cartoon show, that was a bad ass CGI movie.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 1:52 a.m. CST

    Second

    by KGersen

    !! Hooray! Some please put Star Wars to bed. This shit is done.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 1:53 a.m. CST

    Umm, Eleventh

    by KGersen

    Not so good.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 1:53 a.m. CST

    Harry didn't

    by Series7

    Like Journey to the Center of the Earth either. It wasn't that good, but it was a lot of fun.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:01 a.m. CST

    This sucks...

    by G Suave

    ..a mediocre "Indiana Jones" movie and a shitty "Star Wars" cashgrab in the same year. And it's no surprise. We've been pouring money into this bullshit for a long time now. I've loved "Star Wars" since the beginning, and I even felt a glimmer of hope after "Episode 3," but there's no way I'll see this. And the sad thing is I bet a bunch of really cool filmmakers would love to make a "Star Wars" film.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:06 a.m. CST

    www.sinktitanic.com Dethrone "The King of the World"

    by Zartan

    If you HAVE to waste money to see Clone Wars, at least PAY for The Dark Knight! WB still gets the money and we bump that boring ass Love Boat. You know a bunch of kids PAID for Titanic because it was PG and then they all snuck into an R film.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:06 a.m. CST

    This is just three eps of the TV series, isn't it?

    by palimpsest

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:11 a.m. CST

    Capone is a pussy for the way he treated Paris

    by GQtaste

    Hilton. He went head over heals for the vile cunt. Capone, you're a pussy!

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:23 a.m. CST

    This Story Is A Rip-off Of A Fan Fiction!!!

    by Media Messiah

    I recall a fan script involving a baby Luke Skywalker being kidnapped and Obi-Wan having to go on a journey to save him. The reason why I recall this is, I wrote something similar and was very upset to learn that someone beat me to it. Anyway, this is just a dumbed down rip-off of that story, just trade-out a baby Luke for Jabba's baby and set it during the Clone Wars. When will the crooks in this industry just stop, and learn if you want the best story, pay the person or persons who wrote it, even fans, rather than seeking to do a watered down loose knock-off???<BR><BR>This story would be so much more interesting if they had gone with the Obi-Wan goes on a mission to save a baby Luke. My angle was to have a reluctant Uncle Owen join him on his quest, along with Luke's Aunt. It would have been interestng to learn why Uncle Owen was so angry and distrustful of Old Ben...and to show Owen as being increasingly heroic along the way, love and desperation, eclipsing even battle ready toughness the villains. This would have been like The Searchers, love driving a man and woman to do great things to save this innocent child...who they look at as a son. We could have learned their back story, involving the fact that the two could not conceive a child, and Luke was, is...the closest thing to them having a son of their own.<BR><BR>The thrust of my story is that a villain finds-out Luke's identity, and captures the baby to gain favor with the Emperor. Obi-Wan then sets out to stop him, before he can reveal the baby's true identity...and hand over the child to the Emperor. As well, Leia's indentity might be also compromised, hence, the need to silence the villain.<BR><BR>Now that would have been a story worthy of Star Wars. Who cares if Jabba's son was kidnapped??? Does anyone???

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:33 a.m. CST

    Amended: This Story Is A Rip-off Of A Fan Fiction!!!

    by Media Messiah

    I recall a fan script involving a baby Luke Skywalker being kidnapped and Obi-Wan having to go on a journey to save him. The reason why I recall this is, I wrote something similar and was very upset to learn that someone beat me to it. Anyway, this is just a dumbed down rip-off of that story, just trade-out a baby Luke for Jabba's baby and set it during the Clone Wars. When will the crooks in this industry just stop, and learn if you want the best story, pay the person or persons who originated it, even if they are just fans, rather than seeking to do a watered down loose knock-off of said story...like what has happened here??? <BR><BR> This story would be so much more interesting if they had gone with the Obi-Wan goes on a mission to save a baby Luke. My angle was to have a reluctant Uncle Owen join him on his quest, along with Luke's Aunt. It would have been interestng to learn why Uncle Owen was so angry and distrustful of Old Ben...and to show Owen as being increasingly heroic along the way, love and desperation, eclipsing even battle ready and toughened villains. This would have been like The Searchers, love driving a man, and woman in ths case, along with a skilled warrior, to do great things to save this innocent child...who the couple look at as a son. We could have learned their back story, involving the fact that the two could not conceive a child, and Luke was, is...the closest thing to them having a son of their own. <BR><BR> The thrust of my story is that a villain finds-out Luke's identity, and captures the baby to gain favor with the Emperor. Obi-Wan then sets out to stop him, before he can reveal the baby's true identity...and handover the child to the Emperor. As well, Leia's indentity might be also compromised, hence, the need to silence the villain. <BR><BR> Now that would have been a story worthy of Star Wars. Who cares if Jabba's son was kidnapped??? Does anyone???

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:39 a.m. CST

    Media Messiah

    by PirateEmery

    I came up with the squid-like ship in a FanFic/RPG on theForce.net forums almost four years ago. I also named a Clone trooper "Salvo," which was later lifted for the EU book, 'Dark Lord: Rise of Darth Vader'.<p> LucasFilm does it a lot. They see this goldmine in their adoring fans and rape them.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:43 a.m. CST

    Forget TDK, I want to see Tropic Thunder again...

    by PirateEmery

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:43 a.m. CST

    so its better then holiday special?

    by _SnakePlissken_

    prob not..

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:45 a.m. CST

    I just saw it, it will work better as a 22 min cartoon.

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    It will be a pretty good cartoon as far as cartoons go.<p><p>There were some great moments, had it been longer with a few more quiet and thoughtful moments it would have been a good movie. The pacing was too forced, it was definitely 4 episodes hashed together.<p><p>One thing that's cool though is that Lucas & Co. can really play with the Saturday Matinee Serial form; which my no means was ever high art or cultural landmark.<p><p>Here's the problems that should be avoided for the future TV series.<p><p>1. Use the John Williams score already in existence instead of the crappy homage in this cartoon. Much of Star Wars relies on that huge orchestral theme.<p><p>2. There has to be an opening CRAWL for every episode no matter what. The CRAWL is the gateway to the STAR WARS story. Do the recap through the CRAWL, people can read.<p><p>3. Some of the classic sounds were missing, you know, some of that good atmospheric racket. For example, the walkers didn't sound quite right or they weren't put into the mix properly.<p><p>4. OK, it's a cartoon, it's animated, so how about a little more ANIMATION on the characters faces, hair, and clothing; you know, just a little more expressive and a little more interaction with the environment. Hopefully there won't be any CGI characters in the live action TV show.<p><p>5. Let technology fail a little more often, yeah, the droids are dumb and that's actually funny, but the technology should also fail for the heroes; that's one of the great themes of Star Wars.<p><p>6. Talk about the FORCE. I think it was only mentioned twice, and here Anakin is supposed to be teaching a padawan and all they have is clever bickering dialogue. The FORCE is key if we're dealing with Jedi, so use it as a mystical energy field and not just a super power.<p><p>7. There should have been more Padme and Anakin stuff. We should see how Anakin abuses his rank so he can have a love life.<p><p>8. The DARK SIDE must be a threat to the characters, not just a tool or foil. Yes, the baddies use it, but it needs to look seductive.<p><p>9. Continuity! Yes, some things can be played with, but Anakin fighting Dooku again doesn't fit in so well with the movies. Technically it can work, but it takes away from the movies. Dooku had good lines in the fight, he should have tried to seduce Anakin to the Dark Side and Anakin should have been more agressive physically and verbally.<p><p>So what we have here is a pretty good animatic. Now with a good re-write, and about 10% more effort, this would have been a great movie. Oh, but it's a TV show, a CARTOON show. Yeah, 10% more effort would have rocked this thing. It's better than ATTACK OF THE CLONES and maybe better than THE PHANTOM MENACE. Hopefully this is all just a fun experiment that will make the live action STAR WARS TV show something great.<p><p>I mostly enjoyed the CLONE WARS, but we'll see if it's worth it to keep watching. I'll give it a try.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:59 a.m. CST

    PirateEmery

    by Media Messiah

    It is a very sad shame. I have been over there at Skywalker Ranch before, and most of the employees are not inventive. They are largely folks that come from, and are products of, "The System". They tend to be milk toast, Stepford Wives types. True artists and creative minds, are anything but that!!!<BR><BR>The point is, very inventive rebel types are not invited or wanted, you need not apply unless you come to them from formal cookie cutting means. We rebels are different, as we can recognize a good idea and innovate on it, taking it to new levels...but the non creative types just steal, as they have no real or good creative ideas of their own, thus the need to take from others, and their efforts. Lucas Film is a very sterile place like a hospital. Sure there is the lake, the baseball field, and the vineyards, but inside the buildings, you can feel a calibrated mean spirited and amazingly shallow corporate coldness. Not to mention, the security people are overzealous Nazis.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:24 a.m. CST

    'crap'

    by Moshi

    I don't have much enthusiasm for a feature length saturday morning kids cartoon, so this film isn't for me. However, the Phantom Menace isn't crap, nor is it a 'low point'. It's considerably better than Return of the Jedi & a worthy segment of the Star Wars story. It has some classic scenes, the pod race & Darth Maul lightsaber duel. Those phantom bashers who hate Jar Jar have short memories.... EWOKS,teddy bears in the woods, remember those? Star Wars was always aimed at 12 year old boys, phantom was no different. Those twelve year olds in 1977 grew up & expected Star Wars to grow with them. It didn't, so get over it & allow the kids their turn.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:25 a.m. CST

    Embargo sounds so dumb.

    by worldofwarcraft

    It's too... I don't know... important sounding. Especially consiidering the movie being discussed. And even more so coming from a guy who is in awe of Paris Hilton.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:34 a.m. CST

    Supposed outrage

    by kafka07

    actually I don't mind at all if Star Wars reviews disappear. In fact it would be great if all things Star Wars and Lucas become extinct at this point. Star Wars is dead. Bring on Tropic Thunder!

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:36 a.m. CST

    Starwars OFFICIALLY

    by boogy110

    SUCKS There are 7 movies, 3 sucked, now add another to the suck ratio and it's sucks 4 awsome3 Do the math! Lucas is a rapist; In the sense that he takes all the fanboys for every dime they have. Remember when all the starwars hype came back I believe in 95 to 97? He released the original trilogy on VHS non special edition, non wide screen. Then after every fanboy breaks their piggy bank and waste their money. He released The wide screen non special edition on VHS. After fanboys waste their money on that shit. A few months later or maybe a year he does the SAME FUCKING SHIT with the Special Editions!!! Yet fanboys still take the shit and eat it with a smile. The moment I heard of this CLONE WARS shit comming to theaters I made a decision NEVER to see it. George Lucas will continue to do this because he KNOWS that the fanboys will dish out their hard earned cash for this crap and in turn will never move out of their parent's basement. SAVE YOUR MONEY GUYS n GALSand go out andrent GYMKATA! The sith have won, STARWARS no matter how great it was in the 70's and 80's was, is now oficially over.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:45 a.m. CST

    Gunkata

    by kafka07

    or rent Equilibrium for some Gunkata, and pretend Father is George Lucas.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:46 a.m. CST

    Gunkata

    by kafka07

    or rent Equilibrium for some Gunkata, and pretend Father is George Lucas.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 3:47 a.m. CST

    I can smell this fart coming a mile away.

    by Stalkeye

    The animation/designs look like shit compared to FF Advent children.All the money that Lucasarts have you would think that they would have better CGI quality.But in the end Georgie is gonna rake in the dough thanks to the glib SW fanboys and not to mention that annoying G4TV coverage.This Mvie should have been a DTV nd not some theactrical release.I'll torrent instead.<p>Fuck you very much.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:05 a.m. CST

    Saw it, Loved it

    by Sith Witch

    The haters can continue to not "get it" and go off to other stuff. Dave Filoni has blatantly said in interviews that George asked him to give Ziro a "Truman Capote voice", which I found incredibly fitting, especially with his Coruscant-as-New York City dwelling.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:14 a.m. CST

    Damn you, George Lucas.

    by joergn

    You suck!

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:19 a.m. CST

    kafka07

    by Denty420

    ...was that aimed at me...?

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:20 a.m. CST

    Better than Episode 2 anyway (okay that's easy)

    by Roderich

    There are some wasted opportunities here, but ths movie was beautiful and fun. i saw it with my daughter who adored it and had no problem whatsoever with the story or the characters. Me neither. Some points to consider (SPOILER alert):<p>Zero the Hut lives in Coruscant, is decadent, corrupt and a traitor to his clan. Of course he speaks english and decorates hinself, drag queen or not.<p>Ashoka is like an easy going anakin, put on him as padawan to mirror himself and learn about himself. This - excuse me - makes PERFECTLY sense and did work in the movie quite well, especially as there is much more relatiosnship and development between the two than f.e. between Anakin and Padme or also Anakin and Obi Wan.<p>The Artwork and Animation were outstandig and the action well paced and regarding the vertical attack even breathtaking. The lasersword-duels were nit so exciting of course becaus there was no real danger for our heroes, but that is a problem of the expanded universe all the time an di could live with that.<p>"Stinky" was cute and funny and the _ultrastupid_ robots were as well. I laughed and my daughter laughed. Maybe because we took the movie as what it is: a more or less leight hearted Star Wars Adventure from the "Expanded Universe" with georgeous grafics (exception: the animation when wlking slowly seemd awkward) and nonstop-action.<p>To optimize the hate-output i will post this here and in Harry's hatethread.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 4:36 a.m. CST

    dont pay to see the movie...dont buy the toys

    by supreme101

    i was a massive star wars fan...just like millions of other people out there, i knew all the nerdy facts about the characters, ships and planets...i loved star wars...but now i really don't care anymore and i haven't for a long time...lets face it, its all about making money.and its all about the toys, books etc...that's why there are 30 different kinds of clone trooper in episode 3 so he can make more toys and make more money, i go into my local comic store and theres toys based on designs, based on comics character designs,based on the cartoons...i think the only character he hasn't made into a toy is her from the golden girls singing about all being friends...if you want to get at Lucas theres 1 way...STOP BUYING HIS +:@? don't go and see the movie...don't go and buy star wars dolly's...HARRY DON'T BUY A $200 MILLENEIUM FALCON...hit him in the pocket...AND FAN BOYS MOVE ON...theres better movies out there...FACT!!! theres better sci fi (most of which Lucas ripped off anyways) theres better written, better acted, better directed...just all round better movie going experience's...star wars was of its time...but that time has passed...i loved star wars and i wish it was still as great as it was...but hes improved it into a disaster...lets just talk about something else.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:13 a.m. CST

    isnt it time to do the post empire stuff?

    by bacci40

    how many times can we go over the same material...why not adapt the dark horse series? lucas has become rich, fat and lazy

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:17 a.m. CST

    bacci40

    by Denty420

    I don't think that's ever going to happen. Besides, Lucas will balls it up just like everything else he's done lately.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 6:41 a.m. CST

    plant

    by semisaj

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 7:32 a.m. CST

    Does anyone remember...

    by ianlegend

    ...sometime after the release of TPM, Lucas was talking up the remaining prequels and he mentioned how Jabba would reappear in either EPII or EPIII and that we would learn why he HAD to die, and he also hinted why he had to die at the hands of Leia. Wish I had that link. More proof that GL didn't have a clue where he was going with the prequels.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 7:48 a.m. CST

    A culmination of bad ideas.

    by Powerring

    To begin with, Lucas's dialog has always been shit. It was laughably bad in the steaming piles of sith that comprised the newest 3 installments. "Just when you thought it was safe not to be disappointed!" This movie has ugly, blocky artwork. It's a step backwards from the original Toy Story. Look at Beowulf for shits sake! This movie looks like they didn't even try, and saved a lot of money on realistic CGI by not having any. Pile on top of that...poor dialog and a cobbled-together script that screams HACK! At the top of it's lungs. This movie is so far removed from the excitement and coolness of the original movies it might as well be a Saturday morning cartoon.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 8:04 a.m. CST

    Jedi Sucked and SW ain't bounced back since

    by Hikaru Ichijo

    you know it. get bent

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 8:07 a.m. CST

    It will be funny if none of this...

    by afraidoffans

    has any impact on the takings over the weekend.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 8:20 a.m. CST

    If it's not 7,8,9... why bother?

    by screamster101

    Seriously, what kind of suspense is there in a movie where you know who lives and dies? It's like having someone tell you the entire movie before seeing it. What is the fuckin' sense George? Come on already...

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 8:55 a.m. CST

    It KICKS ASS!

    by Sithdan

    This is THE summer movie we've all been clamoring for! George Lucas is a LIVING GOD!!!!

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 8:55 a.m. CST

    I remember reading Starlog all those years ago

    by Crimson Dynamo

    around the time of Empire and Jedi, and there was always the anticipation of what Lucas would do next. Spielberg went on to do a ton of films, but Lucas was always in the shadows, and you had the feeling that when he did decide to do something again it would be great. That's all over.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 9:47 a.m. CST

    moshi

    by Slaphappy Slim

    You're absolutely correct re: TPM. Thank God for a little perspective around here.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 10:31 a.m. CST

    Bring it....

    by j2talk

    Give me MORE Star Wars.....At the end of the day, good review or bad, I'll be seeing the movie. I am in the camp that says any Star Wars is better than no Star Wars....there have always been issues-some minor, some major-with the various films- not mention the novels and comics-but for the most part the overall story has been enjoyable and worth seeing, reading and sharing with my children the real problem with the Star Wars prequels and the clone wars is not what they were but what fans wanted them to be.... I mean I am still hoping to see Han Solo's Revenge and Han Solo at Stars'End on the big screen.... Fans have had so many visions of what they wanted to see NOTHING could have lived up to the expectations...me? i enjoyed the films and the final 30 min of ROTS gave me what I had been waiting for since '79 and it was first mentioned that Darth Vader fell into a lava pit battling Ben Kenobi and thats why he was in that suit.....

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 10:49 a.m. CST

    j2talk

    by Sith Witch

    Your comments are dead-on! Everyone else is just whining. You're right that all anyone "needed" was the final half-hour of Sith. All the rest is bonus!

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 11:06 a.m. CST

    FELT A LOT LIKE THE OT

    by whooooooop

    it was so much fun...dont go in expecting a perfect movie...and you'll have a BLAST! the kids were screaming...there were some funny parts..some weird parts...but man i LOVED it! I Feel almost Blessed to get more of this every week! Ha!

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 11:20 a.m. CST

    No Title Crawl?

    by Fat Lenny

    Are you fucking kidding me???

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 11:21 a.m. CST

    CecilBenedict--We Didn't Say Lucas Stole Anything, Bu...

    by Media Messiah

    ....many people work for the guy, some of whom obviously do steal to impress the big guy, without Lucas' knowledge. This happens all the time in this business, where a script writer or a director, etc., rips-off someone else's work and studio execs and producers often go unaware of the theft until they are sued, if that occurs. Most people don't have the money to sue and you cannot copyright an idea, t's the law!!!! Hell, even with the Writer's Guild, if you change a work by 20 percent...that being someone else's script, that someone being the original hired writer by a studio or producer, could lose there credit even if they authored the script and concept. That is the industry for you, a bunch of crooks...and it is so big, with so many companies and so many departments, no single exec, including Lucas can possibly know, where an when a theft has occurred, in their name, commited by a underling--it is just a cold fact!!!

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 11:42 a.m. CST

    I submitted my review last Saturday and It WASNT posted because

    by Darth-Mike

    So AICN staff should accept the fact that they hate the movie even more due to the embargo which in my opinion was executed unfarily by warner.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 11:49 a.m. CST

    IT WAS AWFUL!!!!

    by sign1in

    I'm glad I didn't have to pay to see it, I told everyone at my comic shop to avoid it. The biggest problem of the "Hutt's" supposed love of their children, they are HUTTs, they probably eat their young. Not to mention the fact that Jabba was really fat for this one, and some how Jabba became skinny again for SW: a new hope? The animation was jerky bad CGI. The script, looked like someone just copied one of the previous ones, oh look there's another force feild to shut down. The only improvement was giving the yellow droids some personality, but since those droids are supposed to be hooked up to some main computer, I don't see how they morph into comedy relief. From past reports about Lucas wanting to add the Backstreet Boys to the second prequel just because his daughter loves them, I can see it's obvious that the lead female character is supposed to be Lucas's daughter, only thing is that Lucas's real daughter looks like a Hutt.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 11:52 a.m. CST

    Gay Hutt

    by ZeroCorpse

    I predict "Gay Hutt" will be the new "Han Shot First!" -- Sigh.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 11:52 a.m. CST

    Correction: "Gay Hutt Uncle"

    by ZeroCorpse

    It has a better flow.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 12:31 p.m. CST

    lol lots of plants in this talk back

    by Rufferto

    good thing I'm not a vegetarian.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 1:19 p.m. CST

    "Keep Star Wars alive"

    by darthvedder81

    Star Wars is more alive than it's ever been. All you jaded pushing 40 fanboys need to open your eyes once in a while. The kids still play with lightsabers and X-Wings not characters from "Hellboy II" or Frodo dolls.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 1:35 p.m. CST

    This will probably be the first star wars movie I dont' see

    by quadrupletree

    at least in the theater. If you can even call this a start wars movie...

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 1:35 p.m. CST

    Correction: "Homo the Hutt"

    by Dick Bahls

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:42 p.m. CST

    Every seems to think Phantom Menace

    by atalcot

    was the worst, but the two sequels were equally bad. In some ways, they were worse because they didn't fix any of the problems that Episode 1 had. The acting was bad, the plots made no sense, the characters had no chemistry, and they filled every scene with massive, unfocused CGI battles with no point.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 5:23 p.m. CST

    Some Sense From Chicago

    by What The Duck

    Personally i think people expected way to much from this movie. Capone was right when he said this is not the picture to get pissy about. Between this and the shitty new Indy movie. Lucas has lost his head in his own ass!

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 9:04 p.m. CST

    Oh Lucas, you can only..

    by Aeghast

    ..downgrade your stuff. But.. why?

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 9:08 p.m. CST

    Never have I seen so much whining!

    by filmstu2005

    Jesus Christ, you guys whine so much that it hurts my ears just fuckin' READIN this shit! So its Star Wars. So Episode 1 & 2 weren't all that. Are you guys ever satisfied about anything? ITS A F.U.C.K.I.N TV SHOW. Get over it. It's just an intro to the T.V. show which I'm looking forward to watching. Its supposed to be fun, light comedy, with cool action. ITS not an actual movie, which is why the story isnt entirely there. DUH. Get over it. *Dumb fanboys nitpicking every fucking detail....*

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 11:07 p.m. CST

    Lucas used to mean good not shit, WTF?

    by Dark Doom

    Star Wars?I waited in line in 1977, I had the promise coupon for Luke and friends (Lucas couldn't afford to meet demand so for christmas 1977 you got a coupon for the figures and had to suck ass till they came in march 78) I'm old and I smell like ass and marlboros. I'm a 1970's fanboy, SW, ST whatever but this is just shit. As Dad said you can't shine shit, Lucas has turned to the dark side I fear......

  • Aug. 16, 2008, 9:08 p.m. CST

    Stinky this shit is Hmmm!

    by FILMFUNK

    oh well what's new!?