Logo

Cool News

Wanna Threesome With Scarlett Johansson?

Published at:  Aug 14, 2008 12:06:19 PM CDT

Hey folks, Harry here... There are reasons I love my wife - one of the key reasons is that she's totally down for us having a Threesome with Scarlett Johansson. So imagine my delight, when I went to ScarlettJohansson.Com today, like I do everyday - and I found that Scarlett is looking for the perfect pair to have a Threesome with. Holy shit... there is a God... and her name is Scarlett Johansson - and she wants a Threesome with my wife and me! Actually... that isn't entirely true. She wants to have a threesome with some couple. I've submitted over 300 times this morning, but I figure... maybe if I appealed to all of you to make my wife's dream come true... and you could email Scarlett at this email address and let her know how much she would enjoy a Threesome with Harry Knowles & his wife. This is the reason I've been losing my weight. This is my Olympics, my 8 Gold Medals... This is my fate! Join me in my cause. Together we can make my wife the happiest little lady on the planet... just after Scarlett Johansson, that is!



    + Expand All

    Readers Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:08:11 PM CDT

    FIRST!

    by banzai rootskibango

    Yes! Always wanted to do that!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:08:23 PM CDT

    Fuck me first!

    by plocock

    mm yeah...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:09:09 PM CDT

    Harry naked =

    by indiebum

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:10:32 PM CDT

    if you dont mind being naked with ryan reynolds

    by bouncy x

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:11:44 PM CDT

    It's not a real threesome...

    by banzai rootskibango

    ...it says on the site that "Threesome refers to the moviegoing date experience consisting of three people."

    It's just some lame date. It was just too good to be true.

    You need to read the fine print Mr. Harry.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:12:35 PM CDT

    Odd.

    by mefrog

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:12:38 PM CDT

    she probably wants two dudes....

    by cameron fry

    your wife is gonna have to sit this one out...on the bright side, it gives you and Quint an opportunity to get a lot more familiar with eachother....

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:12:49 PM CDT

    That's not to say I wouldn't sign up.

    by mefrog

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:12:58 PM CDT

    Haha

    by creasy

    Are you serious Banzai Rootskibango? Just askin...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:14:19 PM CDT

    I find Scarlett...

    by banzai rootskibango

    ...to be one of the sexiest women in the film industry. Have you guys seen Match Point? Jonathan Rhys Meyers, you lucky son of a bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:15:04 PM CDT

    I suppose...

    by fortunesfool

    'So I can get you drunk and fuck you 'til my cock breaks' wont win it then :(

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:15:06 PM CDT

    Creasy...

    by banzai rootskibango

    ...check the site! I swear it says it at the bottom.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:17:12 PM CDT

    Joeelliot...

    by banzai rootskibango

    ...sloppy can be a good thing in certain respects...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:18:29 PM CDT

    And I'm sure this nothing to do with her new

    by skimn

    Woody Allen film...What a gull-a-bull.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:18:46 PM CDT

    So, Woody Allen is pimping out Scarlett Johansson...

    by -guyinthebackrow

    Prettyyyyy, prettyyy, prettyyyyy tasteless.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:19:42 PM CDT

    i thought harry was a threesome all by himself

    by thebaxter

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:19:53 PM CDT

    Maybe the stupidest "article" ever posted here

    by olsen twins_fan

    Damn you Michael Bay!!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:20:00 PM CDT

    Skimn...

    by banzai rootskibango

    ...Woody Allen would be the other dude in the threesome. That means you'd look like Superman in comparrison.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:20:40 PM CDT

    I now predict...

    by sailor rip

    ...the longest talkback in Ain't it Cool history.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:21:01 PM CDT

    I would like to have a TWOSOME...

    by banzai rootskibango

    ...with Scarlett. Sexy time.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:21:05 PM CDT

    With Harry? I don't think so.

    by toowhippy

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:23:24 PM CDT

    Well, cover me with whip cream

    by big jim

    and break out the video camera!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:23:36 PM CDT

    Captain Justice...

    by banzai rootskibango

    ...I'm going with the spirit of what Mr. Harry wrote...it is insinuated that it is a real threesome. When someone uses the word "threesome" what comes to mind? Obviously, it's not gonna be what is insinuated, I'm just trying to have some fun with it you hoople-headed cocksucker.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:23:43 PM CDT

    btw,

    by sailor rip

    She's good looking and all but going to ScarlettJohansson.com everyday? lame.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:23:50 PM CDT

    The Babbling AICN Staff

    by cowboyone

    Moriarty knows Harvey Weinstein! Masswyrm dated several girls before getting married! Harry likes ScarJo and got a tummy tuck. Guys we all love the site ... but this Ain't why we come. Get it ... Ain't

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:25:56 PM CDT

    That's not funny Harry...do you how many fucking...

    by flickapoo

    ...proofs of purchase I sent in to win the Brand New Huffy BMX bike from Captain Crunch cereal when I was a kid??!! I found The Captain on that treasure map on the back of the fucking box and everything...dreams DO. NOT. COME. TRUE. I was happy today...and now I'm bitter. Fuck.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:26:11 PM CDT

    I'm sorry Harry

    by yoko knowles

    But Herc and I have talked thing over, and we've decided it will be a foursome. Scarlett Johansson, Natalie Portman, Herc, and me.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:26:53 PM CDT

    I'm so upset I forgot the work "know"

    by flickapoo

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:27:23 PM CDT

    Pretty tacky way to promote a movie

    by boba fat

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:28:12 PM CDT

    And I spelled "word" "work"...I'm done.

    by flickapoo

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:28:31 PM CDT

    So, what is Reynolds gonna sit in the corner spanking it?

    by rev_skarekroe

    Maybe occasionally offering up commentary and directions."Just keep doing what you're doing. Yeah..."

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:29:13 PM CDT

    FlickaPoo

    by sailor rip

    and you said work instead of word. You are upset. Tell you what, look in your mailbox in two days and that shiny new bike is going to be waiting for you.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:29:33 PM CDT

    Fineprint, fucktards...fineprint.

    by thelivingdoll

    Read the fineprint. "Threesome refers to the moviegoing date experience consisting of three people."

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:29:58 PM CDT

    Fred will bring the popcorn!

    by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar

    Fred too scared to say anything else though.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:31:26 PM CDT

    Well I finally get to bring this up and it's in context

    by cotton mcknight

    I think any guy who really REALLY likes her is secretly homosexual. She has too many "man" features for that not to be the case. The husky voice, the choir boy face.. its like a dream for the closet homosexuals out there. You get to be with a guy who has guy features but she never was a guy and she has lady parts.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:32:27 PM CDT

    Sailor Rip..a BMX bike?...it HAS to be a BMX.

    by flickapoo

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:32:31 PM CDT

    going to the movies with her can be good too

    by bouncy x

    maybe she can be convinced to butter your corndog and eat it whole while you watch.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:32:49 PM CDT

    And I wanted a threesome with the Gilmore Girls...

    by derlanghaarige

    ...but sometimes we don't get what we want, Mr Knowles!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:32:55 PM CDT

    Ryan can slap his balls on my face...

    by zombieflicker

    As long as I get me some Scarlett, that is. That's worth it right??

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:34:02 PM CDT

    How Shitty is Harry in bed?

    by techlord

    His own wife wants a foursome and doesn't even want him to be a part of it. Kill yourself now Harry.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:34:36 PM CDT

    Cotton McKnight

    by mr.meanie

    dude...you're projecting.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:35:25 PM CDT

    what the fuck kinda news is this?

    by dannyglovers_dickblood

    We're talking movies over here....FUCK!!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:36:20 PM CDT

    Cotton McKnight...

    by banzai rootskibango

    ...yeah, we'd all like her to put on some football pads and mens after shave while you're at it.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:36:47 PM CDT

    10 years ago I wanted a threesome with Xena & Gabrielle.

    by derlanghaarige

    But I guess nobody cares.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:36:58 PM CDT

    Unless Scarlett is just there to watch

    by skimn

    and its a threesome with yourself, Woody, and an underaged Korean girl with the body of a twelve year old boy...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:37:08 PM CDT

    she'll probably...

    by dingus khan

    ...beg you to fuck her...

    ...in the turd-cutter.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:38:25 PM CDT

    Cotton McKnight

    by techlord

    Biggest fag in the talkbacks.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:38:29 PM CDT

    Don't forget the scissors...

    by zirlin

    ...to cut a hole in the bottom of the popcorn bucket.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:38:44 PM CDT

    Best. Headline. EVER!

    by 2dope

    Harry, I have been a loyal reader of your site for many years now and that headline is hands-down the best one you have ever posted. You put a big ol' smile on my face, just thinking about the glorious possibility of sex with Scarlett. Good times.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:38:45 PM CDT

    dingus

    by skimn

    all the while shouting "I LOVED The Black Dahlia.."

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:40:23 PM CDT

    FlickaPoo

    by sailor rip

    BMX all the way. Pegs, one of those things that lets you spin the handlebars 360, the works.

    However, I will need a validation of your story. I know you don't have the proof of purchases anymore but I'm sure before you mailed them you made a photocopy of all of them. I'll be a sport and send the bike with my return address, you just go ahead and mail me the photocopy.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:40:58 PM CDT

    Am I weird because I want a threesome with...

    by derlanghaarige

    ...Nicole Sullivan and Christy Carlson Romano? I mean...come on, there is no other way for a man who doesn't live in a cartoon to have a threesome with Kim Possible and Shego!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:41:19 PM CDT

    there is a very fine line of distinction

    by arcadiands

    between a fat guy with a massively hideous orange chin strap, and a skinny, loose-skinned guy with a massively hideous orange chin strap.
    I'll let you do the math.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:41:41 PM CDT

    Cotton McKnight

    by boba fat

    The only flaw in your theory is that homosexuals like men, not women who look like men but big old, hairy, man love. So, even somebody was so repressed that they were only attracted to women who looked like men it's still not going to work. It would be like ordering a foot long, juicy hotdog and unwrapping the paper to find a greasy taco. You get the idea...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:43:23 PM CDT

    But now that I think about it...

    by derlanghaarige

    ...Scarlett Johansson is definitely NOT on my list of women who I want a threesome with. I just don't like her. Not as an actress, not as object of sexual desire.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:43:24 PM CDT

    Der Langhaarige

    by skimn

    As first I thought you wrote Christy Canyon..her labia's got to be hitting the ground by now..

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:44:40 PM CDT

    Unless you enjoy both taco's and hotdogs...

    by boba fat

    then it's a win, win.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:44:52 PM CDT

    Cotton - you jumped the Troll on that one

    by toadkillerdog

    You really did son. That goes into the booby hall of fame or shame.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:45:50 PM CDT

    I care, DerLanghaarige, I care

    by big jim

    Because I too had the same dream. Life is cruel to offer so many possibilities but so few probabilities.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:46:23 PM CDT

    oh and here's another goofy one for you

    by arcadiands

    Sex with Harry techincally counts as a threesome.
    what say you, Yoko?
    PS: She's got mod powers. At least now we know who was doing the indescriminate banhammering in the scriptgirl talkback. And here I thought being one of the first to call her Yoko was just a funny joke. Guess I feel silly now.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:48:15 PM CDT

    ArcadianDS

    by boba fat

    Sex with Harry is technically a moresome.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:48:53 PM CDT

    COTTON...

    by banzai rootskibango

    ...You're never supposed to go full retard.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:49:17 PM CDT

    Call me naive, but is THIS ACTUALLY FOR REAL?

    by tylerzero

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:49:36 PM CDT

    What a total cock tease.

    by the guy who slept through everything.

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:50:14 PM CDT

    c'mon guys

    by dingus khan

    more cushion for the pushin'.

    scarlett johansson would be lucky to tongue shovel harry's stink ditch.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:51:37 PM CDT

    There's already an EMBARGO...

    by banzai rootskibango

    ...on her genitals...but hey, who says we can't go back to her place and feel each other up on the couch? That's not sex. It's pre-sex.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:51:54 PM CDT

    Question: Would you have a threesome with yourself?

    by derlanghaarige

    Imagine you could travel through time and space and could have sex with two of your future or past incarnations, would you "fuck yourself"? (Let's imagine the Timecop rules don't apply here)
    I mean, it's not really worse than jerking off anyway, only that you have real sex this time. And yes, I know it's technically gay sex and even the most liberal hetero isn't necessarily into trying this, but on the other hand, it's just you! Discuss!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:52:00 PM CDT

    Sailor Rip...photocopy?...we're talking early 80's...

    by flickapoo

    ...here...I think we called them Xerox's back then, and to get one I would have had to go to NASA...or the Oval Office or something. Maybe Donald Trump had one. Anyway...now I'm screwed by that sweet crunchy Captain once again. Come to think of it...that cereal was so crunchy it always made the roof om my mouth sore. I'm starting to really hate that guy. This day has gone to shit.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:54:16 PM CDT

    Don't know how that happened..sorry.

    by boba fat

  • Aug 14, 2008 12:57:08 PM CDT

    LETS HAVE SOME SEX

    by marsmarlonlives

    YA YOU HEARD ME LETS DO IT AND GIT ALL STICKY AND SWEATY AND STUFFF YEA

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:02:03 PM CDT

    Dude I'd settle for a Twosome with Scarlett...

    by beefywhore

    Sadly I will have to settle with my daily One-somes with her picture...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:04:20 PM CDT

    God so fucking fugly

    by dapper swindler

    I mean, just looking at her makes me want to throw up. I don't know how any straight male can think she is attractive. She looks like the aborted fetus of a cow and penguin's baby. She looks like the rotted corpse of a dead hyena that was sacrificied to some kind of tribal god and left out in the sun for 8 weeks. I mean, it's her teeth man. Those teeth look like a horse with down syndrome. I wouldn't let her touch me or my super fucking hot girlfriend with a 20 foot pole even if it had a wad of cash tied on the end of the pole. When will hollywood realize that these "women" are just way below my standards? Anyone who thinks she is attractive must be a gay.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:10:06 PM CDT

    DerLanghaarige

    by boba fat

    I think it's acceptable to time travel, have sex with yourself and maintain your hetrosexuality. It's not like when you're jerking off you're getting all excited because you've got your hand on a dick, is it? As long as both your incarnations are approaching the situation from this angle then it's masturbation. But what if you're future self has discovered an open sexuality that's all the rage in the future but has previously been so deeply repressed that your past self isn't aware of it? So, your future self is getting a kick out of the man on man action but your past self thinks he's involved in the ultimate wanking session. But then maybe it's your future self's visit that triggers you're new found sexuality? It's complicated so, I'd avoid it and if the opportunity for time travel presents itself go see some dinosaurs instead.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:10:31 PM CDT

    Hey DerLanghaarige, do you know how I know you're GAY?

    by tylerzero

    Read your own post.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:13:50 PM CDT

    BobaFat

    by derlanghaarige

    Believe it or not, but that's pretty much the most intelligent answer that I ever got to this question.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:16:05 PM CDT

    Ms Johannssen is very pretty

    by arcadiands

    and its just silly to what extent some of you are going in order to "convince" the rest of the galaxy that she is not.
    now - had some of you gone with the 'She's attractive but not nearly as much as some people make her out to be' then I'd figure it was just a matter of taste. But comparing her to dessicated swine carcasses? First off, you've never looked hard at a rotten pig corpse, and second - you're being an idiot in front of a whole bunch of people. Knock it off, or I'll diagnose you with Autism faster than you can say "waa i cut myself nao"
    So please stop with the fake "she's so ugly it hurts the eyes" nonsense because nobody is buying it.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:16:10 PM CDT

    DerLanghaarige

    by sailor rip

    Jerking off is one thing, fucking my own dirty rank ass is another. Maybe if i could go back too when I was a real young boy my ass wouldn't be so ....uh forget I said that.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:18:07 PM CDT

    DerLanghaarige...

    by banzai rootskibango

    ...if you could time-travel would you have sex with a dinosaur?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:18:52 PM CDT

    Harry Naked = AICN Embargo

    by seth brundle

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:19:57 PM CDT

    What if you give yourself AIDs?

    by iamjack'suserid

    What if your future self gave you AIDs? I will wonder what my future self has been doing. But then as a result, if I give my past self AIDs, won't that mean I've always had AIDs? And then why haven't I died because past self existed before really good AIDs treatment, so how can a present and moreso a future me exist?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:20:37 PM CDT

    This smacks of a ploy...

    by lovecraftian

    ...to make Barack Obama jealous for publicly rolling his eyes at her little love notes. (sigh.) Desperate, sister, way too desperate.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:21:01 PM CDT

    ArcadianDS

    by dapper swindler

    Evidently, you bought it. I think it says something about the preposterous state of affairs here if my mockery is undetectable.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:21:01 PM CDT

    Sailor Rip and Banzai

    by derlanghaarige

    Sailor, this leads to an interesting question: Could a pedophile become a pedophile because he raped himself when he was a kid? (Am I banned now?)
    And Banzai: Only if it was a sex-o-saurus. Or a Sleestack.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:22:11 PM CDT

    Yoko...

    by herewereyouwish

    Greatest...response...ever.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:23:38 PM CDT

    Captain Justice

    by david cloverfield

    C'mon, Woody fucked his stepdaughter. I wouldn't call that old fashioned. I'm sure he could teach you a thing or two.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:23:56 PM CDT

    DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    by brighteyes

    So you wouldn't want to hang out with Scarlett for the day?. Go back to thinking about Judd apatow and how much you think he's a hack.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:26:33 PM CDT

    Bravo, Yoko.

    by mrfan

    Simpy bravo.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:28:16 PM CDT

    You know what's sad?

    by derlanghaarige

    That this talkback isn't even half as filthy as the average Scriptgirl talkback.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:29:06 PM CDT

    CecilBenedict

    by sailor rip

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:30:42 PM CDT

    CecilBenedict

    by techlord

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:31:25 PM CDT

    10 seconds huh...

    by banzai rootskibango

    ...10...I don't know...10 seconds is a lot...I'm gonna have to go with a resounding no. Sorry Scarlett, I love you...but you know how it works with dignity.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:32:17 PM CDT

    No, but seriously

    by dapper swindler

    She's so ugly that the first time I saw her I fell to my knees and wept because I knew there was no God. I want to save up enough money so that I can send her and every image of her into space via rocket ship. I would just send the rocket into the sun, but I would not want to subject the sun to that kind of horror. My only fear is that an alien civilization may retrieve the Johansen rocket. Cthulhu himself would take one look at her nose and pass her off to his winman. When the first picture of SJ surfaced, people went out onto the streets, wailing and gnashing their teeth.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:33:44 PM CDT

    LMAO

    by excommunicated

    This is great, Harry! I wish you all the luck in the world, you big lug! You're gonna need it!) ;) ;) ;)

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:34:21 PM CDT

    Dapper

    by techlord

    So, Dapper Swindler is apparently Justin Timberlake.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:37:16 PM CDT

    DerLanghaarige

    by boba fat

    Then this talkback has achieved something

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:37:49 PM CDT

    TechLord

    by sailor rip

    Would you pinch Harry's nose closed while your cock was in his mouth so he would gag and have to spit it out?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:39:42 PM CDT

    I'm not going to stop...

    by dapper swindler

    Until the people who say she is unattractive admit they are full of shit. ...Or until I get bored.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:41:07 PM CDT

    no subject

    by techlord

    No, but I'd smack him in the back of the head and make him call me Brett Ratner.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:45:17 PM CDT

    This promotion

    by mr. zeddemore

    That e-mail address is going to get some truly fucked up e-mails.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:48:34 PM CDT

    I just sacificed a whole chicken to her name.

    by mrfan

    Okay, it was a ten piece mcnugget extra value meal from McDonalds but ya know I meant well.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:49:59 PM CDT

    Sorry...but...

    by tendeuchen

    I think that this contest is going to be every man (woman?) for himself (herself?)...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:50:17 PM CDT

    Scarlett

    by mr. zeddemore

    Does this make anyone want to see that film? At all?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:50:33 PM CDT

    In these times of great turmoil...

    by dapper swindler

    ..people are faced with the big questions in life: why are we here? what are we doing? But now science and religion must finally come together so that we may one day come up with an explanation for the fugliness of Scarlet Johannsen. Top minds from around the world are currently working towards a solution.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:51:44 PM CDT

    TenDeuChen

    by mr. zeddemore

    You can take my spot, I'm not big on sharing.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 1:52:24 PM CDT

    Dapper Swindler

    by mr. zeddemore

    Someone call Adrian Veidt, he's big on Eugenics.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 2:02:28 PM CDT

    I am almost done saving money for my RealDoll version...

    by mrfan

    of Scarlett. Been saving for years. That paper route has truly paid off for me. Built character and excited for my RealDoll.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 2:06:47 PM CDT

    mrfan

    by mr. zeddemore

    Just don't use sticky back plastic

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 2:07:24 PM CDT

    Wow, just...wow.

    by flickchick85

    This seriously sounds like something out of a movie satirizing Hollywood or something. Hey, is this a gag in Tropic Thunder? They missed the boat I guess.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 2:08:49 PM CDT

    flickchick85

    by mr. zeddemore

    This skipped the boat, had sex with the shark and never called it back.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 2:09:25 PM CDT

    I'd wreck that chick.

    by dwide shrewd

    Bring in Natalie Portman, I'll get my Henry VIII costume on, and we'll keep bonin' 'til the breaka breaka dawn.

    Damn... gotta go take care of some bidness now. Peace.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 2:10:48 PM CDT

    This is lunacy, Harry.

    by bg7

    We wonder why our mulitplexes are filled with sophomoric crap and then you post stuff like this because you think its funny. This isn't helping us raise the bar on Hollywood product, Harry. Make this site mean something.

    file-film.blogspot.com

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 2:12:17 PM CDT

    BG7

    by mr. zeddemore

    Is that your blog, pal? Good on ya.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 2:15:48 PM CDT

    BG7...

    by banzai rootskibango

    ...Scarlett has some pretty amazing boobies.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 2:19:57 PM CDT

    Dapper Swindler

    by arcadiands

    you got me.
    Hopefully you'll find me woefully undersized and throw me back, but for the time being, you got me.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 2:21:14 PM CDT

    Mr. Zeddemore

    by flickchick85

    That sounds less ridiculous than this.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 2:21:19 PM CDT

    is BG7 a url spambot?

    by arcadiands

    cuz he makes about as much sense as those silly 'date a millionaire' reply-bots from about a month back.
    also, if you can't afford the $9.95 a month for a domain, then put the keyboard away - blogging is not for you.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 2:28:13 PM CDT

    hold on

    by hey...jonboy

    i also wish to make a pointless statement followed by a plug to my blog... filmguy27@blogspot.yahoo

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 2:28:32 PM CDT

    flickchick85

    by mr. zeddemore

    It does, doesn't it? Crazy fucking Internet.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 2:30:01 PM CDT

    Oy

    by mr. zeddemore

    Lay off the guy. Nothing wrong with having a blog - some people don't like posting absolute shit on a domain site.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 2:33:37 PM CDT

    Harry...

    by thegoddamnsiege

    You DO know this isn't sexual, right? Read the fine print at all?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 2:41:58 PM CDT

    Remember the photo shoot Scarlett did with Dita von Teese?

    by half vader

    Looking very 'strict'? Ah... happy times.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 2:43:22 PM CDT

    That page looks like a ransom letter.

    by baked

  • Aug 14, 2008 2:51:56 PM CDT

    it's for "He's Not That Into You", guys

    by necgray

    So let's not throw Woody's name in there. It's also for a charity, so I'm pretty sure Harry's just pulling your legs to help out. He's not an idiot.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 2:56:46 PM CDT

    necgray

    by mr. zeddemore

    Harry's the same guy who wrote a blog entry where he discussed the sexuality of Claire Bennett, so I wouldn't immediately say Harry's pulling our legs...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 3:06:33 PM CDT

    Threesomes Suck!!

    by godoffireinhell

    It just doesn't work. In the end it's always two people getting it on and another guy/girl feeling pretty left out.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 3:08:12 PM CDT

    I've had her, she's rubbish

    by photoboy

    But she will let you do her up the arse.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 3:10:22 PM CDT

    The only threesome Harry will be in...

    by waylaid-by-jackassery

    will be with Ben & Jerry.

    Ba-zing!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 3:12:53 PM CDT

    Her Album Full Of Awful Tom Waits Cover Songs...

    by laserpants

    almost made me not want to pound her hot pussy and cum on her ecstatic, upturned, moaning face as she begs for more LaserCock. Almost.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 3:16:11 PM CDT

    LaserPants...

    by banzai rootskibango

    ...are you a graphic artist?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 3:27:30 PM CDT

    As A Matter Of Fact Banzai, I Am!

    by laserpants

    Graphic design is one of the things I do with my time in addition to teaching, writing, and making with the musick. It should explain the vivid imagination about things that will most likely never happen; like, for instance, coating the lovely Ms. Johansson with gallons of my hot sticky seed.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 3:27:58 PM CDT

    And I wanted a foursome...

    by jackofhearts29

    with the Golden Girls!
    But now, it ain't gonna happen!
    I don't even know which ones are still alive...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 3:28:48 PM CDT

    whoops

    by jackofhearts29

    I guess that would have been a fivesome...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 3:34:53 PM CDT

    "...that would have been a fivesome"

    by big jim

    How many people need to be involved before you can officially call it an orgy?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 3:38:55 PM CDT

    What a whore!

    by alienindisguise

    I'd tag those tits but that's about it.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 3:42:53 PM CDT

    Some Advice...

    by slackattack

    Careful there Harry... chances are you as the lone fella in this "drie ecke" will have blown your load watching.... and then the ladies will go on to marathon lovin.... just proposing some advanced strategy here.....

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 3:43:00 PM CDT

    Texas daydreaming

    by teethgnasher

    Hell yeah!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 3:46:03 PM CDT

    You don't say, Banzai Rootskibango...

    by lenny nero

    ...it's a not a real threesome? I'm so shocked!

    Humor, my good sir. Humor.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 3:55:56 PM CDT

    BEST.....TALKBACK.....EVER.....!!!!!

    by betaraybill07

    Cotton McKnight, DerLanghaarige, FlickaPoo, Sailor Rip you guys fucking crack me up. And to all you gay talkbackers who think she's unattractive, especially you Cotton......you are why incest is illegal in this country.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 3:59:24 PM CDT

    Lick my balls Scarlett

    by kilik777

    http://tinyurl.com/pv8do

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 4:05:02 PM CDT

    I was in a foursome a few weeks ago!

    by big jim

    (anyone else here play golf?)

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 4:10:45 PM CDT

    Does everyone ...

    by dennismm

    need a "cute" AICN writer/contributor ID? Cripes, just call her Patricia. "Yoko" is a 20-years-dead joke. (I'd say almost 28, but that would be tasteless.)

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 4:44:55 PM CDT

    Wait, what.

    by halberd

    Barnacles. I won't believe till I see it = sex tape.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 4:52:45 PM CDT

    hey guys

    by ragingdrunklove

    so here at the bottom im not sure if we still think this is for real or not, so let me know. somebody told poor harry this isnt a sexual threesome, right? dont feel like reading through for the inevitable head smack.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 5:18:06 PM CDT

    Ragingdrunklove...

    by lenny nero

    ...Harry knew it was a joke.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 5:20:11 PM CDT

    She's not ugly ...

    by dennismm

    but Scarlett is one of those women who needs to be photographed carefully. Her outsize lips (fake?) can make her look a bit freakish.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 5:44:27 PM CDT

    Scarlett Johansson + Natalie Portman.

    by jae683

    Now there's a twosome I wouldn't mind seeing.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 5:48:50 PM CDT

    dumbasses

    by smithys.bark

    As if Scarlett Johannson is gonna have sex with random strangers to promote her career....she's not Lindsey Lohan!! For dumbasses who cant read, you can certainly write some stupid shit!!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 6:10:07 PM CDT

    If this is true, I've lost all respect for her as a human being.

    by starwarsredux

    On the other hand, if this is just a stupid marketing lark, then I've only lost all respect for her as an actress. There's a difference.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 6:14:32 PM CDT

    Sexy!

    by scantygeoduck

    But what is the young actress supposed to do with all of Harry's jiggly folds of flesh hanging off his newly svelte body? Shit, what does his wife do? Harry, please don't talk about sex anymore. Please. It's not a topic for you.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 6:17:25 PM CDT

    I think I speak all of us

    by kungfuhustler84

    when I say NOBODY wants Harry to have sex with ANYTHING ever. The fact that this idea was even put into my brain is disgusting. I love you man, but the further you are in my mind from the wonderful world of sex, the better.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 6:18:42 PM CDT

    By the way

    by kungfuhustler84

    fuck you in your fat folds for even posting this not-even-new nonsense story.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 6:22:06 PM CDT

    What I learned in this Talkback

    by bottombrick

    Aids was created by Time Travel.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 6:38:01 PM CDT

    too true bottombrick

    by smithys.bark

    I too have learnt that if you have anal sex with yourself regardless of having any std's or aids prior to said anal sex, you will miraculously create aids in yourself...thank you JacksUserID for you informative comment....dumbass!!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 6:42:44 PM CDT

    StarWarsRedux??

    by smithys.bark

    I dont think its disgust KOTC_SKULLFUCK, I dont think he can read and understand what he's reading. Most children cover comprehension in elementary school, obviously StarWarsRedux has yet to take this class, I did it at 5 years old.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 7:08:23 PM CDT

    The Amazing G speaks the truth

    by scantygeoduck

    You are 100% right. Could you imagine those milkbags popping out of her shiny body suit? I mean, could you fucking imagine?! It would have been a gift to the world forever.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 7:35:49 PM CDT

    I think that "What I Have Learned in This Talkback"...

    by flickapoo

    ...should be a regular feature in all future talkbacks...you know...once things have calmed down a bit. It will be like the end of Doogie Howser...but different.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 7:38:51 PM CDT

    What I Have Learned in This Talkback...

    by flickapoo

    ...in this talkback I learned that I shouldn't be so upset all the time because Huffy is a shit brand of Toys'R'Us BMX bike anyway.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 7:47:23 PM CDT

    What I have learned in this talkback...

    by smithys.bark

    Scarlett has great boobies, spotty 14 year old virgins get very irate when you promise them the possibility of sex with a movie star and dont deliver...oh and harry still has a weight issue....anything else guys??

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 7:54:20 PM CDT

    Lenny Nero...

    by banzai rootskibango

    ...a guy can dream can't he?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 7:59:17 PM CDT

    Scarlett is ugly man

    by dioxholster

    im not attracted to her at all, i probably wont be able to get it up when shes around. i rather have a threesome with harry and his wife,

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 8:02:05 PM CDT

    I'd rather me, Harry, Mori, and Quint.....

    by dannyglovers_dickblood

    ....do a naked conga line dance around the room, drunk off our asses with socks on our dicks and Peter Gabriel blasting in the next room.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 8:08:01 PM CDT

    DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD....

    by flickapoo

    ...we always knew you've been angling to worm your way into that conga line...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 8:11:56 PM CDT

    FlickaPoo -- Yeah right. They would embargo the shit outta me.

    by dannyglovers_dickblood

  • Aug 14, 2008 8:14:05 PM CDT

    The very shit right out of you...no question.

    by flickapoo

  • Aug 14, 2008 8:15:45 PM CDT

    I would have called for a nation wide boycott of Indy IV....

    by dannyglovers_dickblood

    ...if I wrote for this site. And George would have put a fucking hit out on my kids. Can't do it man....can't do that to them.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 8:40:20 PM CDT

    My friend claims he loves Scarlett..

    by worldofwarcraft

    so what does he do when she's in the lobby of the building he works the desk at? "Scarlett, what's up?". "Nothing, what's up". "What are you doing here?". "going to a party". "Alright". Then the elevator came and she went out of his life forever.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 8:47:53 PM CDT

    worldofwarcraft, what he shouldve raped her?

    by dioxholster

    shes a celebrity she cant talk to normal people like us she looks down on us

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 9:43:15 PM CDT

    worldof warcraft

    by smithys.bark

    with your friends conversational skills, it really is a mystery he didn't win her over with his witty repartee

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 10:04:20 PM CDT

    The woman of your dreams is right here...

    by worldofwarcraft

    and you don't even TRY to kick it to her? Not even a little bit? C'mon, take your balls out of the glass case you've got em in. And though it may be true about celebs thinking they're above non famous people, it's a natural law that a women are generally wired to respond to dick. This overrides almost any other instinct in many women. I have hot friends with gross men, but the men were undaunted and the women responded to the balls. And as for celeb women, a guy I know made out with Cameron Diaz in a club two weeks ago, and this guy ain't no George Clooney.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 10:19:30 PM CDT

    Cameron Diaz is taken i think.

    by dioxholster

    so he lied lol. she has a boyfriend or something, but to her making out is just part of every party. plus he didnt fuck her so he didnt get anywhere. she makes out with all kinds of people no problem, but scarlet is more modest so good luck finding her drunk making out with strangers.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 10:26:13 PM CDT

    Skullfuck, I did read it, that's sorta my point.

    by starwarsredux

    There's something a little condescending about the whole "taking out the everyman/woman" thing. Selling sexuality is nothing new-- nor is using it as false advertisement. But what is this, exactly? Selling friendship? I don't know why, but reading the fine print actually made it seem even more unsavory for me. Soliciting for sex is trashy, but not too surprising. This, on the other hand, just feels phony. Maybe I'm a tad cynical here, and if so, guilty as charged...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 10:40:32 PM CDT

    StarWarsRedux

    by smithys.bark

    "Selling friendship?" I would hardly call being the guest of someone as a 'friendship'.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 10:53:51 PM CDT

    You all realize her Woody film threesome is PG-13 back-nudity?

    by tallboy66

    What a fuckin gyp.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 11:49:35 PM CDT

    True, Dioxholster, making out ain't much

    by worldofwarcraft

    but I'm just trying to get across that women can be freaks regardless of social status. And a modest image often means nothing; Orthodox Jewish girls GET DOWN! Here's to hoping so does Scarlett.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 14, 2008 11:57:54 PM CDT

    must resist...

    by smithys.bark

    PG-13....Woody Allen.....must resist the urge...for joke in bad taste.....argh!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 15, 2008 12:04:53 AM CDT

    Smithys

    by starwarsredux

    Like I said, I don't really know what to call it. Feels pretty empty, though, for a "guest" offer to scream "threesome" so loud.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 15, 2008 12:28:53 AM CDT

    Screw you Harry I call dibs

    by raphman

  • Aug 15, 2008 1:09:45 AM CDT

    StarWarsRedux

    by smithys.bark

    the movie being promoted is about a love triangle...hence the 'threesome' thing.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 15, 2008 2:15:31 AM CDT

    speaking of Star Wars redux

    by half vader

    I went and saw the Clone Wars movie/tv thing yesterday.

    It's awful, but the thing I kept trying to keep in persective was that the high production quality & theatrical presentation, it's definitely a kiddie tv show (barring a few decapitated heads!). Definitely no better and definitely no worse. You just except the writing to not be clichéd garbage where they spout catchphrasey-tweeny one-liners for no actual reason because the visuals are proficient.

    The only thing that surprised me was just how much unadulterated and unused Ralph McQuarrie stuff they used. It's like the only thing that made it through the process unscathed!

    And the less said about the mincing cajun hutt/Oogie Boogie the better.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 15, 2008 2:51:41 AM CDT

    no, I don't want a threesome with a slimey hag like her

    by ironic_name

  • Aug 15, 2008 2:52:18 AM CDT

    well, maybe I would hit it, but I wouldn't admit to it

    by ironic_name

  • Aug 15, 2008 5:11:02 AM CDT

    THIS SITE HAS JUMPED THE SHARK

    by schnide

  • Aug 15, 2008 5:14:05 AM CDT

    ..

    by schnide

    ..I've had enough. This website sold out a long time ago, and now exists to allow a disgustingly fat man to boast about how he actually found a woman to marry him while being pimped out to screenings and used by studios. The Clone Wars debacle made me reconsider sticking with a site I've visited for the past five or six years, but this is just too much to swallow. Aint It Sold Out! I'd rather go without the "news" that this site offers.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 15, 2008 6:34:47 AM CDT

    Another classic creepy Harry line again

    by col. tigh-fighter

    Yet many find it funny. Such is the way of the world :(

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 15, 2008 12:36:03 PM CDT

    worldofwarcraft, you are what makes me sad

    by necgray

    to be male. Every woman is wired to respond to dick? Are you fucking serious? I hope you get locked in a room with the cast of The L Word and get your stupid ass beat.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 17, 2008 2:24:00 AM CDT

    fucking christ

    by zozma

    you people, man

    Reply to Talkback

User Login

Forgot password? Retrieve it here

or register as new user

Quick Talkback Form

Please login to post talkback